#which is a lead in to his self-worth. a lot of it is him never believing he is giving enough or doing enough

[dissociativewriter]

Unnatural Affinity- Part 2

Isekai!Reader x Love and Deepspace

wc: 2.8k

cw: angst but not too heavy this time, allusions to self harm, questioning of worth i guess?, reader wonders if she’s supposed to be there and what’s going on, kinda awkward interactions tbh, lots of confusion; not proofread

Synopsis: You soon find yourself filling in the role of Em’s friend and roommate, and try to fit into your new life and new (?) job at the Hunter’s Association. At lunch break, you and Em eat lunch with Xavier only to find some… odd behavior from him.

author’s note: I really need to be updating my Once Upon Another Time PoTo x LaDS series but this has taken all my inspiration :( i feel like this is kinda weak but it has some good lines. i don’t know how to write xavier so ill try to figure that out before i write more of him

tag list: @animegamerfox @ixloom819 @magennta09 @an-ever-angry-bi @corvid007

Series Masterlist

Em certainly knew how to hold a conversation, you quickly realized.

She was the exact opposite of you. Where you were quiet and reserved, she was loud and outgoing. She could talk to anyone, and it seemed as though she held all the energy in any room she entered.

That wasn’t a bad thing, of course. You almost envied her for it, the way she could so easily navigate social situations. She was charming and witty where you were shy and sarcastic. It was far from a bad thing, it was just something you weren’t used to.

And why would you be?

This is the life of the Main Character.

“So, anyways, I was trying to get him to switch with me so I could have a turn, but he insisted that he keep playing!” Em was complaining about one of the men wrapped around her finger, and you had honestly lost track of which one she was talking about now. For having five objectively attractive men practically at her feet, she certainly didn’t appreciate them all that much. “He said he’d use his Evol and it’d be fine, but then he still missed!” Her expression was exaggerated, her pitch rising as she kept talking. A small pout formed on her lips. “All that to say, we didn’t get a plushie,” she sighed.

“I’m sorry, who was this again?” You decided to just bite the bullet. You’d learned that Em was aware she could talk fast sometimes and skip out on details, so asking for clarification wasn’t that anxiety-inducing anymore.

“My friend Xavier. He’s a hunter, you might have seen him? Silver-white hair, big, blue eyes, tall, really quiet?” Em cocked her head.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve… seen him around.” You nodded. You couldn’t exactly explain he was a Love Interest in the only game you played daily.

“Yeah, it’s hard not to notice him. I think most people in the Association have at least heard his name, even if they haven’t seen him.” Em suddenly stopped, grabbing your arm and pointing to a small shop with her other hand. “That shop looks so cute! We have to go there.”

You didn’t argue, simply following her lead like a lamb as she guided you to the store. Another thing you’d realized: Em was used to getting what she wanted. But she was never rude or entitled about it. No, that’d be too negative for a Main Character. She could be a bit bratty at times, however, a trait often showed in memories with Sylus or Caleb. Clearly, though, this wasn’t something she only did with them. You’d fallen victim to her pouts, puppy-dog eyes, and guilt-tripping in the mere three hours you’d been together.

Despite all this, your differences, your slight annoyances, your envy, you’d managed to become somewhat comfortable around Em. Maybe it was her Evol helping her resonate with everyone, but it’s like she just knew how to make people like her and be comfortable. You weren’t sure how you felt about it. She couldn’t read you and your emotions, something you were thankful for, but she was clawing at the walls you’d put up defiantly, like the kitten Sylus so often compared her to.

After a few stops at a couple more shops, you two finally headed back to your apartment. You were filled with some kind of rotten eagerness. A person’s home can so easily show their secrets: their struggles, interests, and happiness. You wanted to see how you lived in this life. You wanted to see if it really was better than what you’d had before.

You wanted to see if what you were losing when you entered this world was really worth missing.

The apartment was… nice. Like the rest of Linkon, it was sleek and innovative. You recognized a lot of it from the screenshots in the back of the main storyline or memories, but there was something unnerving about the whole place. It reminded you of Em’s eyes. Pretty at the first glance but lacking substance when you look further.

There were a few things here and there that weren’t in the original art of her apartment. A stack of books here, an extra pair of shoes there; Your mark was evident. You weren’t just shoved to the side to make room for the main character. You were allowed to self-express in your own (new?) home.

“Why do you look so shocked? I mean, I know I straightened up, but it wasn’t that messy before,” Em laughed.

“Nothing… just thinking.” You shook your head. “It’s not important.” Em cocked her head but didn’t say anything more.

You hovered in the entryway for a moment after kicking your shoes off, taking it all in. Em stayed in the living room, scrolling her phone as she laid sprawled on the couch. Then, as if your body knew what your mind did not, you entered what you could only assume was your room, dropping your tote bag in the chair in the corner and shrugging off your jacket. You performed what felt like second-nature, like your body remembered this life where your mind didn’t. It seemed like force of habit, so you could only wonder if adapting to this new world would really be all that difficult.

“I’m going to sleep!” Em yelled outside your door. “You should soon. We’ve got to get back the Association tomorrow and I just know Jenna’s going to overload everyone with work after that whole issue in Skyhaven.”

Habit was a funny thing.

It was as if some things didn’t need a second thought, just something you did because your body knew to.

But how did your body know your exact routine in this life? There was nothing inexperienced about any of it. You didn’t bump into any furniture, didn’t look for where your shirts were kept for twenty minutes, didn’t question anything.

What was going on here?

You grabbed a bag you didn’t even know existed before and a travel mug from the counter before leaving with Em. This was routine, you realized, but whose?

As you were leaving the apartment building, Em turned around, zeroing in on a specific window. You curiously followed her gaze, only to find the curtains drawn.

“What’s going on?” you asked.

Em’s gaze suddenly snapped back to your own, as if she forgot you were there next to her. “Oh! I was just going to see if Xavier was leaving too and let him walk with us.” She laughed. “Of course, knowing him, he’s probably still asleep!”

I didn’t think Xavier usually went to the Association, you thought. Didn’t he just take missions without showing up?

What else is different?

You shrugged. “We can wait for him, if you want,” you offered. You didn’t know if you really should be interacting with any of the Love Interests, but if you both worked at the Hunter’s Association, you couldn’t really avoid Xavier.

You couldn’t change things that much anyway, right?

“No, it’s fine.” Em shook her head. “Let’s just go. I have a meeting with Jenna first thing and I do not need to be late again,” she groaned.

With bright lights and wide windows, the Hunter’s Association certainly left no stone unturned. There were no shadows to hide in, no darkened corners to find refuge, not even a closet to hide the skeletons you knew the Association had.

You subconsciously adjusted the tote bag on your shoulder, feeling the weight of your laptop and the folders containing God(Astra?)-knows-what. You’d tossed your copy of Frankenstein in before you left, too. You didn’t know why. It wasn’t even your favorite book, but it was something real. The annotations were fragments of another life. A life where you hadn’t been happy, so why did you find yourself missing it so much?

Your hands itched at your thighs again, feeling the healing cuts rub against the fabric of your pants.

“Well, I’m gonna go.” Em’s voice, bright like the Association, broke you from your thoughts. “Say hi to Nero for me!” You nodded and returned her wave as she walked away.

Wait.

Nero?

What did he do…? You wish you had the guide from the game giving you descriptions on everyone and everywhere. What did they say about him? He liked Wanderers… and didn’t he have social anxiety?

Your feet took your where your mind couldn’t and you saw Nero sitting at a slightly cluttered desk with an empty one directly across from him.

His little portrait in-game did not do him justice. He was honestly cute, especially with his slightly oversized glasses. He was shy, sure, giving you a weak wave of acknowledgement, but he was by no means lacking confidence. He dodged eye contact, but his shoulders were back and his posture straight. You could tell he was confident in himself, just not in others when it came to socializing.

“Hey.” His voice was soft, almost unsure. “I left a report on your desk for you to read over… just, whenever you have time!” he quickly clarified, as if he didn’t want to put unnecessary pressure on you.

“Alright, Nero,” you smiled, your grin only growing as he glanced away.

You quickly fell into a rhythm after getting settled at your desk. Nero was in data analysis, you finally remembered, which meant you were, too. At least, in the same department. You had a different job from Nero, compiling and proofreading all of the information from the reports. It could be confusing here and there, especially trying to decode any shorthand used or even just some messy scrawl, but it was overall easy work.

Now you understand why Em had mentioned you helping her by giving data. You had access to all the data that went through the Association. Even what they hid from the Hunters.

In a world where knowledge was the only thing you had, this realization held unimaginable power.

Between what you knew about a few characters from the game and what you could learn from all these reports, it didn’t seem like you’d be scrambling for some footing.

You and Nero fell into a rhythm, too. He would complete his reports, pass them over to your desk, where you would edit and transfer into the database. Not many words were exchanged, maybe a quick “here” or “thanks” muttered occasionally. With such a loud life next to Em, it was nice to find these quiet moments of reprieve with him.

A few hours passed quickly before the clock hit 1:30. You straightened up your pile of reports before rising from your chair. “Nero? Aren’t you going to lunch?” you asked.

He shook his head. “I’ll just stay here for my break. You have a fun time, though.” He gave a weak smile.

“Alright, if you insist…”

Em met you at the entrance to the Association, a tall blond in tow. “Hey!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw you. “I wanted to introduce you to Xavier since you said you’d never met, so I thought, why don’t we all get lunch so you two can properly meet!” She grinned widely, quickly glancing between both of you.

You gave a polite nod and introduction to Xavier, not expecting much from him. He never paid much attention to anyone beyond Em, you knew, and you didn’t want to incite any unnecessary jealousy if he thought you two were too close. You were roommates, after all, and you’d seen Xavier get jealous over only a neighbor.

You didn’t think his jealousy would stop at only men, either.

To your surprise, however, he grabbed your hand, giving you a chaste kiss on the top of it and a small smile. “Nice to meet you,” he murmured.

Okay, what?

You hadn’t expected him to be rude; he would never be rude to someone important to Em. But this was a bit kinder than you’d expected. Just a bit.

You, Xavier, and Em left the Association, walking down the street after Em proposed some hotpot. She was slightly ahead of you and Xavier, extremely enthusiastic compared to your relaxed pace. You thought it odd that Xavier had stayed back with you instead of hovering next to Em, but what was odder was the hand ghosting at the small of your back.

This was a comfortable motion, maybe not practiced, but definitely not awkward. You felt his eyes on you as you kept looking forward, his chin tilted up as he looked at you through his bottom lashes. He was searching for something. You could feel it, though his face betrayed nothing.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was just as confused as you were with the amount of attention he was giving you compared to Em.

Hotpot was nice, if a little chaotic. Em and Xavier sat together in a booth, with you across from them in a chair. You were directly across from Xavier, and you noticed him watching you closely as the meats and vegetables cooked. There were even a few times when Em had to frantically tap him to get his attention and say it was done.

Conversation ended up flowing easily between the three of you, once you got settled. You and Xavier were putting in as much as Em, something extremely unusual for the both of you. Right now, Em was in the middle of telling of an interaction with a civilian during a mission, which was apparently so funny that she couldn’t breathe for a few minutes before beginning.

“He kept insisting that he be let past, like he knew what was going on!” She howled with laughter. “I said, sir, you don’t wanna be involved in that and he just held his hand up and said how can you know that, I’ll do as I please! Obviously, he took two steps, realized what was happening, and got out of there as fast as possible. Honestly, I don’t know what people are thinking sometimes.” Em wiped the stray tears from her eyes.

“Wait,” you chuckled. “So he was just like: ‘oh i can do this, i’m better than a trained hunter, step aside little girl’?” You raised your hand, the back of it facing you, just as Em had done to get your point across. Em didn’t say anything, merely laughing as she nodded. You laughed, too, keeping your hand raised although it faltered.

Xavier, who had completely dissociated for the entire story, snapped back into focus. He zeroed in on your outstretched hand, immediately drawing a conclusion you weren’t sure how he reached.

“Mind if you borrow my hand?” he asked, his brows slightly furrowed. He leaned forward a little, raising his own hand. “…Like this?” He tapped his hand against yours in a weak high-five.

Watching your hand falter, out of sheer confusion and shock for how this was playing out, a slight frown grew on his face. “It seems you had something else in mind.” He shook his head, his lips now curling up at the ends. He quickly entwined his fingers with your own, holding your hand tightly. “Can I borrow your hand, then?”

Your mouth was slightly agape. He was supposed to be acting all cute like this with Em, not with you!

“Is this what you call borrowing?” Xavier chuckled as he released your hand.

You stared at him, barely noticing Em glancing between you both. A frown was playing on her lips, and she shifted closer to Xavier. You watched him closely as he absentmindedly chewed his food. You were trying to figure out why he did that.

Why did it feel so familiar?

What was it so comfortable?

You figured it out later.

Finally, after a few more hours the Association and a quick dinner back at the apartment where Em was uncharacteristically quiet, you figured it out.

It was a Relax Time in the game. One of those little interactions you unlocked as Affinity increased. It was identical down to the dialogue. Except, those were always little couple-y moments shared between the MC and her Love Interest in Destiny Cafe, always adorable, always invoking your somber envy.

So why was Xavier doing it with you?

You didn’t think Em liked it much either. She wasn’t bitter about it, you could tell, just… confused. She isn’t officially dating any of the Love Interests as of now considering just the Main Story has happened, but it’s still odd for any of them to be doing something remotely romantic with anyone, man or woman.

You just hoped you wouldn’t run into any of the other men. Who knows what that could lead to?

You didn’t know what exactly was going on, or how you could deal with it, but you knew one thing: Something was wrong.

Maybe it’s your fault. Maybe you’re not supposed to be here. Maybe your very presence is throwing everything off-kilter.

In a game so based around Fate, unexpected events don’t seem very welcome.

And what were you, if not unexpected?

comments and reblogs appreciated! <3

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[kayceecruz]

Ok, here's why I didn't have a problem with Colin in Part 2. He was processing so many emotions.

1. This man is so in love with Pen, has been by his own admission, for a long time that he was completely blindsided by her secret. Colin is unhinged with his love on good days. Their confrontation was heated, but his devastation more than his anger was the focus. He loves her, and she's been lying. So, he lashed out and said things he didn't even believe because he couldn't process his feelings.

He gets to feel this way, imo. Penelope of all people knows him best and what he was going through, which is why she was so gently firm and understanding with him.

2. Once he processed the lie, then came the feelings of fear for her and them if Lady Whistledown was unmasked. It's a big deal if not handled right. (Book made a point of this, too) She doesn't quite have that fear, which pisses him off because anything could happen to his wife, and Colin is not having that shit. So they fight, and she stops him cold with her yelling her love at him, which leads to heavy petting session and his beginning to thaw.

3. He honestly can not understand why Penelope loves him. This one is really his own self-worth, which he has been wrestling with his whole life, but he looks at her, this amazing woman who apparently is one of the most influential people and he cannot grasp why she loves him. He doesn't understand that she loves the bones of him and he is afraid she can't love him they way he does her.

4. He wants to be her hero so badly because she is his. He doesn't realize he already is by just being him because he has never been enough before.

5. He literally wants her always, and no matter how mad he is, that doesn't change, so he needs to reconcile that.

Imagine you are Colin and having to process all of this in the span of like a week? It's a lot, friends. It's why Pen gives him so much grace but forces him to confront those feelings.

From where I was sitting, they handled all that really well.

[gatorbites-imagines]

PLEASEE todd ingram x male reader just fluff & comfort helping him get over wallace that leads to hardcore makeout sesh ???

Todd Ingram x male reader

Headcanons

Tried to stick close to the request, but this also took a life of its own hehe. Hope you enjoy.

You were the guitarist of The Clash At Demonhead. Youd been friends with Todd for years and held a candle for him just as long, but you had accepted you’d never get him to be yours, with him being with Envy, and Ramona for that time.

You had never dreamed of him being into guys, so you tried to live your life with that Todd shaped hole in your heart. You became kinda the Cool gay guitarist in the band, which was probably why you clashed with Wallace Wells so much the first time you met him.

Kinda like putting two male hamsters together who are used to being the only one of their kind. You guys weren’t the same obviously, but there was something about it.

Maybe it was the fact that you showed zero attraction to Wallace, or that you weren’t someone who liked to gossip like he seemed to do. But when he started “running lines” with Todd, you became suspicious.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what they had been doing, only a man who got laid, and laid good, strutted around like Wallace Wells. You could even see how Todd was spiraling dealing with his sexuality.

But you were also friends with Envy, so you didn’t wanna spill the beans and instead acted like you had no idea what was going on. You never claimed to be a good person. So as the others were bust acting, you just sit in the back writing songs or tuning your guitar.

You tried not to let it break your heart when Todd pretty much confessed to Wallace in front of everyone. It made part of you feel worse somehow, like you weren’t enough. What did Wells have that you didn’t?

Was it his looks? His personality? His… everything? Maybe you were just the problem, and Todd had always liked guys somewhere inside him, but you just weren’t what he wanted.

There was no time for self-pity though, as everything fell apart, Envy left to become a solo act, and Todd was spiraling worse than you’d ever seen him. So, as his friend, it was your duty to pull up the bootstraps and drag him out of that funk.

He spends a lot of time crying about Wallace, and you guessed you could get it, the first time a boyfriend broke up with you, you had been pretty broken about it too. But you didn’t think Wells was all worth it, but maybe that was because you were still annoyed that he was apparently Todds gay awakening and not you.

It takes some time and a lot of bad romcom movies to get Todd in a better headspace, where he starts eating right again and taking care of himself. But as time passes, he seems to be doing better, thankfully. And even better, he stops talking about Wallace.

After the band falls apart, you guys become roommates, as you still make money off your music you did together. You start making solo music, but at some point, when Todd starts feeling better, he joins you.

Its making music that seems to get him out of that funk more than anything, and maybe its also spending time with you.

After everything, Todd starts to see sparks whenever he looks at you, or feel his entire body buzz when you touch him, or when you guys are sitting on your guys small couch and your legs are touching.

Todd doesn’t even realize he stops thinking about Wallace Wells after a while as you distract him by keeping him busy, be it through working out, music, watching movies, or anything else you can think of.

There is a time you guys even pass Wells and his group of friends, and Todd doesn’t even feel the misery he had felt last time. Even when his eyes meet Wallace’s he feels nothing, because you are grinning beside him, digging through a box of CDs looking like you had found gold.

Todd starts noticing things about you. Like how you are smiling so much more now that the band is over, or the way you are always playing with the strap of your guitar, or how you are always dotting down song ideas on any scrap of paper or tissue you can find.

He knows he’s hooked when one day when you guys are at the second cup, you start looking around for something to write on and Todd offers you his arm, because why not. And you just grin and start writing down lyrics on his arm, and Todd feels his entire face go red and his heart starts racing.

You still believe he likes Wallace, because the human mind just works like that. So, when you one day find him sitting on the couch with his face in his hands, you assume its because of his unreturned crush.

You go about it like you always do, finding vegan snacks and putting on a movie, and plotting down on the couch, pulling Todd on top of you so you can “bro cuddle”

Todd of course goes bright red as you hold him, completely speechless and with no idea what to do with himself. But he knows how it went last time he tried to confess, so he starts spiraling again in fear of rejection.

Its not hard to sense he’s spiraling again, so you grab him to look him in the eyes to ask what is wrong. And Todd, deciding to bite the bullet, kisses you. You freeze up, eyes wide as his hands grip the sides of your jaw, kissing you like his life depends on it.

Grabbing his face, you push him back to really look at him, look at his almost glowing red face, and swear you even catch sparks of his vegan superpowers run across his face and arms.

“I’m… I’m not a rebound of something Todd” you force out, not wanting to let the hope bloom in your chest, the rejection you’d felt in the past still stinging. Hes quick to try and stutter out that, that’s not what he wants or means, but he’s horrible at it. Its only thanks to your many years as his friend that you know what he means. You swear your heart starts doing backflips.

Before either of you can think about it too much, you pull him back into the kiss, hands gripping the back of his neck as Todds fingers wound through your hair, hanging on like you’ll disappear if he lets go.

Hes unsurprisingly pliable, letting his lips split open when you tongue at them, letting you control the kiss as you please, tiny huffs and whimpers leaving him as you stroke the top of his mouth with your tongue.

Hes sensitive, and though he has a lot of experience with kissing from his exes, Todd still seems timid with you, like he doesn’t know what you personally enjoy and he wants to please you.

You have no idea how long you guys kiss, for you there’s years of pent up feelings, and for Todd there’s very strong feelings he still cant seem to fully comprehend the vastness of. Theres so many sparks as your lips are locked, spit running down chins and soft noises leaving you both as tongues rub together and across teeth as you try to explore the others mouth as much as possible.

When the kiss finally disconnects and you pull back, it’s impossible not to cackle at him. Todds pupils are blown huge, his face even redder than before, and you fear he’s gonna get a nosebleed from all the blood rushing to his head.

Todds hair is sticking up in every which direction, almost looking like the spikey style it takes on when he’s using his vegan powers. His lips move like he wants to say something, but no words form, only making you laugh more.

Instead you just pull him closer, letting him hide his red face in your neck as you rub his back, giving him all the time he needs to collect himself, but now he’s yours, and you are never gonna let him go as long as he wants you around.

[erinwantstowrite]

what are your thoughts abot how Damian and Tim's relationship is portrayed in most fanfics?

personally, although I like the angst part of their relationship I wish there was more fanfics where they're closer and have real siblings dynamic (like u know they 'hate' eachother but they would destroy anyone who would want to hurt their brother)

oh, boy, do i have a lot to say about this one. buckle in, folks.

i feel like a lot of the time, if they're in a fic together and the fic author doesn't like one of them, the other is going to be mischaracterized to hell and back. sometimes... both are mischaracterized.

i'm all for a fanon interpretation of a character- obviously, because i have fanon interpretations in my fic too at least a wee bit- but sometimes it goes too far and it no longer feels like we're reading about the same character

let's talk about Tim.

Tim doesn't have a good view of himself or his standing in any emotional aspect. which is often misconstrued about him believing that he was Jason's replacement (neither he nor Bruce thought this, but it was Bruce's fear), or that his worth as Robin wasn't enough. that's not true at all. i'll say it again here: Jason didn't nearly kill Tim at Titan's Tower, nor did he go there to kill Tim. and Tim fought him back. he even told Jason to his face:

"you can't be that good" "I am."

he knows he's a damn good Robin! he trained with the best, he helps lead the YJ! he doesn't doubt that he was the best person for the job. but when it comes to the emotional aspect of Robin, i think this is where Tim stutters

this is because of how Tim's parents showed their affection.

i think canon neglects that aspect of his trauma, which is why so many people hang onto it. in the comics, Tim is shown to have a lot of friends both in and out of suit. he's abrasive and isn't afraid to ask the hard questions. but he is riddled with self worth issues. his parents were barely around him, they didn't know him well at all. and they loved him, but from a distance.

Tim now sees himself as someone that can receive love from a distance. he is incredibly self reliant, and has been from a young age. he sees all of his accomplishments as obligations. he does well at school because he had to. he takes care of himself because he had to. and in his mind, taking up Robin was partly another obligation. he does his job well because he has to, and he might doubt this sometimes like anyone else, but at the end of the day he is confident in his ability to get shit done.

now, the emotional part of Batman and Robin is where i believe i enjoy a fanon interpretation more. he actually does have a good relationship with Dick, but I'm not too sure about Bruce at this point. this topic is nuanced because Batman writers make him so diabolical at times to the point that i would consider it ooc. but other times they're very close and Bruce admits this. so i replace it in my head with a more stable and realistic version that i've seen written by fic authors very well.

Tim views himself as someone who is there for a job: help Batman. but there is a lot of wonder and awe there. his favorite Robin was Dick. (I'll say this again so everyone hears me: his favorite Robin was Dick. yes you are allowed to have nuance and put Jason in there as someone he looked up to as well, please do. but put some respect on Dick's name!) now that he's working with Dick Grayson, someone he admires so much, as well as getting the honor to wear the Robin suit, he feels more like himself than he has in years. he's good at this, and it's also fun. he meets so many people and he gets to make a difference in the world. yes, it's a job, but it's also very freeing

he never did this be Bruce's son, or to replace Jason. his relationship with Bruce started off extremely rocky, with Tim forcing himself into his life in some way because he believed that Batman was going to get himself killed or get someone else killed, or Batman would cross the line. and Gotham would lose the only person who had such unwavering optimism for them. he and Bruce come to an understanding of being partners but not father and son. Bruce doesn't want to open himself up to that hurt again. but we all know Bruce, and that's not what ended up happening. Bruce would never be the same person he was before, but he is not incapable of love.

Tim would not understand that change. I'd get more into this but i don't want this post too long and i wanna save it for when i'm not supposed to be sleeping and when i'm writing one of my Tim fics for once. all we really need to know is that Tim's emotional intelligence is dogshit, and him coming to see Bruce as a father, and Bruce seeing him as a son, would baffle him. because his parents love him... at a distance. and Bruce sees him every day. that's not how it's supposed to work, right?

so.

sometimes, Tim is treated like a porcelain doll who can do no wrong. many aspects of his canon has been altered by fanon to be "worse" than it is. his neglect by his parents did, indeed, happen, and it affects him deeply. but his parents weren't like. beating him, or leaving him without food or shelter or supervision. Tim was clever enough to get around that supervision all on his own. which is why they should have been there in the first place. (they should have been there regardless). and emotional neglect is still a very real issue??? no one has to make it "worse" by making the Drakes out to be monsters. i think Jack often emotionally manipulated Tim when he was around, and I don't know if Jack was even aware that he did so. (which is why i can see some people delving into that nonexistent relationship that DC gave us, and finally giving those implications more depth. there are a lot of good fics that go over this)

often it's hard to read a fic for Tim because they go too hard into making Tim an anxious shy ball of sunshine. Tim is weird, and he stalked the Bats, he stalked Nightwing, he broke into Titan's Tower before he even became Robin. he's a weirdo. he fits right in with the Bats for that reason. some people make him out to be the victim or some kind of damsel in distress, and sometimes we get to see a phenomena where other characters talk like a book about emotional intelligence that their therapist gave them. which is... fine, if you're just writing to write it, maybe helping yourself. but let's take a step back and see Tim is not like that. he is a very capable person, and his not some "uwu, woe is me, i'm so shitty at everything and if you even look at me wrong i'll cry." i honestly believe that Tim is the type of character to hate crying in front of someone and even if he was actively dying he'd be holding back those tears.

whereas Damian? gets the opposite treatment??

granted, i don't actually know too much about Damian, but i at least try to understand him and his background

he's the youngest of them, and i think many people forget that Damian isn't a reader of the comics like we are. he wasn't going into that family with the emotional connections to these characters and their backstories like we did. he was taught about these people, the idea of them. like how we could be taught in class about people from a long time ago. and i can ensure you that Damian was not taught proper emotional intelligence, nor would he have the best grasp of it himself when he was younger than 9 years old. imagine all of your teachers and also your mother told you about these people and their accomplishments, and then told you that the person all of them look up to is your father. the person that you want nothing more than to know, to see, because the people around you talk about him so highly. someone you haven't gotten to meet yet, because you aren't "worthy." can you imagine being told all your life that you are not worthy to see your father yet? and not knowing if he believes that too?

but one day, you are going to be by his side as his son. i don't want to get too into the culture of the Al Ghul family because i don't actually know that much (i'm sure someone would know more about this, feel free to add on if you want to), but this is important to Damian. it's important to his mom. it's important to his grandfather, the leader of an extensive organization that stretches hundreds of years.

then he gets dropped off in a different country, culture, language, and family and he finds that things are not as he had been told his entire life. his father has many flaws, they do not believe the same importance of a blood tie as his family back home does. they question his entire upbringing to his face many times, they question his mother who he loves deeply. he's nine years old. imagine yourself in that position. you don't know yet what role you're playing in an adult's life, but you want to. desperately. you want to know where you stand. you want a hug. not to mention that Damian actually is a very emotional kid. he was taught to shove that deep, deep down, and not let that out.

too many people write Damian as if he was a "feral" kid which is kind of not something to put on him? i don't like it both because he wasn't feral, he was an asshole. there's a difference. and because it feels like a microaggression?? at times?? because once again... the culture that he is from... is important.

they have been racially profiled for many many years... and yes, everything that you read is political whether you want it to be or not. the act of reading is political. you should definitely be aware of what a writer's goal is when they were giving something to you. you should be reading deeper. again, i'm not from his culture and i can't say if it is an insult/insensitive joke or not, nor am i saying everyone who's made the joke before is a bad person. i have made jokes about Tim being a feral kid before and whatnot. i'm saying that no matter who you are, it is your responsibility to think critically about your media and kindly about other people. it feels uncomfortable to me because i know how wrongly the Al Ghuls (specifically Talia) have been treated by writers in the past. and Damian is an extension of that bias. just look at how many times they try to push Ian Wayne on us. or how they'll pull back on Damian's character development when talking about the Al Ghul family.

this probably isn't my topic to write about, at least not before i learn more about it. but since i get a fair amount of viewership, maybe someone will listen to me that won't listen to someone of color that has already pointed this out many times. with the comics fandom, and Batman fandom specifically sometimes, people don't care to think further about why the characters of color are so often and conveniently left out or forced into an archetype. take that as you will

so! he has spent his entire life believing he had to live up to two great legacies, both of which are VERY different. the intricacies of the Al Ghul family are often boiled down to pure evil by both fanon and canon writers, which dulls Damian's resolve and reasoning for what he had done, or makes it hard to connect to him. he has since learned more about who he wants to be and has come to respect his family in many ways. excuse me if i'm wrong, but i think part of why Damian came so hard for Tim was because Tim had everything Damian wanted. he had a place by Batman's side as both his son and his partner, and was very well respected by Batman and Nightwing both. he's older, more mature, he has stature in both this society Damian now has to fit into and within the family dynamic. considering Damian grew up in an assassin cult that solved threats to their dynamics or positions in power by murder, it wasn't a far leap for a child from that environment to make. he was modelling what he had been taught his entire life.

think about the mistakes that you made as a kid. and i don't mean something silly or funny now, i'm talking something that makes you feel ashamed. embarrassed. hurt. something that perhaps now as an adult, you reflect on as being totally uncool. and i want you to think about if maybe your environment had a role to play in that. maybe you made an insensitive joke that your mom or dad would have found funny, and someone pointed it out and reasonably made you feel like a jerk. shit happens. but you hopefully grew from that.

now imagine that mistake was you hurting someone.

yes, he was annoying. he was bratty, at times. he could be a little calculating shit. he hurt people with both his words and his weapons. Tim obviously had many many many reasons to be upset about his treatment- but I fear that most of his anger ended up directed at the older people in their lives that were supposed to be the ones to do something about it!

and though i hate that Tim went back to being Robin (it feels redundant), i have seen panels that show that the two of them working side by side after Damian and Tim both went through some life and perspective altering events both together and alone, has made Tim see Damian as his little brother, and vice versa. Damian has grown so much and many people just... don't care. no matter their reasoning for hating Damian, it's unfair to not look further than those cutting words written decades ago, or to bring up his mistakes every time you want to be mad at him. and i think it does a disservice to Tim to make him a bleeding heart about this when he has clearly forgiven Damian and cares about him. he rags on Damian like any older brother would, and Damian makes remarks like a younger brother would. personally, i think the two of them are doing pretty good right now

the development of their characters is actually so interesting within the canon aspect, even if they can fumble the ball every now and then. and the mischaracterization takes away the value that their canon relationship has. i personally love reading fics that have Damian and Tim teaming up. in aus where one thing changes and Tim and Damian become brothers later, i think it's actually so silly and fun when Damian respects Tim or thinks he's cool. or even without the au aspect! just like, a fic where the two of them are working together and it's either silly or serious, Damian having a begrudging respect for Tim and Tim being protective over Damian, etc etc, is sooooo much fun

[iftheresaproblem-whatever]

KALLUZEB: AN UP TO DATE REFLECTION

I hope everyone has enjoyed Star Wars Celebration. Be it in person, or online, it’s been great seeing all these amazing cosplays, interviews and announcements for our favourite galaxy far far away.

As some of you may have seen, I have been VERY active over the last few days on the Kalluzeb socials. And with celebration out of the way and Andor Season 2 starting, I thought I’d do a little look back to how my favourite ship got to where it is today and what, with recent revelations, it might mean going forward.

For those who may not know, “Kalluzeb” features the relationship between the Rebellion’s Garazeb Orrelios and the Empire’s Agent Alexsandr Kallus in the animated show “Star Wars Rebels”. Two sworn enemies who spent almost 2 seasons fighting each other. That is until, they both crash land on an ice moon and rely on each other to survive and are finally able to put the traumas of their past behind each other. It was, without question, one of, if not THE most homoerotic pieces of media in all of Star Wars. While it may not have been intentional originally, the vibe and consequential shipping of the two as an enemies to lovers story came about very organically.

In season 3, after the experience on the ice moon, Agent Kallus turns against the Empire and turns Fulcrum spy for the Rebellion, saving the Ghost Crew’s lives several times. He gave up EVERYTHING, risked his life for the rebellion and truly earned his place at the table.

In the fandom, there was a lot of shipping from fans on social media, but what was surprising was that a lot of the shipping developed from the cast and crew from the show itself, which lead to conversations about it at fan conventions and Star Wars Celebration.

By the shows finale at the end of season 4, Kallus helped the Ghost Crew liberate the planet of Lothal. And after the events of the original movie trilogy, Zeb takes Kallus to Lira San, the secret original planet of Zeb’s kind. Kallus then realises he hadn’t destroyed the Lasat. They also welcomed Kallus to their planet as one of their own kind. Both Zeb and Kallus have a seemingly developed a very close and intimate relationship since Lothal’s liberation, to the point where Zeb covers Kallus’s eyes to surprise him and proudly wrapping his warm around him infront of his people. While their relationship was never directly specified, it was left in a neutral “maybe they are, maybe they’re not” position.

That being said, Zeb had given Kallus a new life, a new purpose, a new home, a new family and gave his soul and mind peace.

If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.

For a while, that’s all we thought we would see of them.

That is until, we saw the first appearance of Zeb in live action as part of the third season of “The Mandalorian” in 2023. He had a 30 second cameo and seemingly without Kallus. Safe to say, the conversation about the possibility of on screen Kalluzeb was re-ignited.

It’s also worth mentioning that in the credits of the episode in question, Zeb’s (well established) surname was excluded from the credits. This begs the question as to what is the status of his surname post-Rebels.

A few months later, the official Star Wars account released a video promoting the Darth Vader comic series with special anniversary covers of the Rebel’s characters. Agent Kallus was one of the covers and the video had the caption; “His pre-Kalluzeb days.”

This is the first time that Star Wars has used their ship name in official media. Fans (and Steve Blum himself) rejoiced.

That being said, Neither Zeb nor Kallus made an appearance in the first season of “Ahsoka”, the self proclaimed “Rebels Sequel.” Much to fan’s disappointment with Zeb’s name being mentioned only once as “training recruits.”

However, at D23 2024, a teaser trailer for the movie “The Mandalorian and Grogu” was released. And Zeb was revealed to be a part of the movie. Which proved to be VERY exciting for fans as Zeb is now going to be a movie star and finally getting his time to shine.

After that, over the next few months, the Star Wars socials posted things about the boys with very specific wording, using a specific shot of the two at Lira San and even a comment referencing to the boys as a couple.

They could have very easily used the term “best friends” in the post, but it’s the deliberate use of “partners” which is very intriguing.

Most recently, Agent Kallus was recently announced to have a classic action figure coming out in the summer of 2025, proving that Kallus is still on the radar of current Star Wars media.

(And yes, I have already pre-ordered mine.)

Which brings us to Star Wars Celebration 2025 where Lucas Animation unveiled a 20th Anniversary poster featuring all of their characters. In this poster, Zeb can be seen with his arm wrapped around Kallus in the same style as some of the other couples in the franchise. Both of them beaming brightly. Hunter from “The Bad Batch” is under Zeb’s other arm, but they’re not from the same show and anyone who knows “Rebels” knows the significance of the two being together.

Zeb was also announced to be a part of the second season of “Ashoka”. While only a few fan favourite characters have been announced to appear so far, I am hopeful that Kallus will be a surprise for the fans (hopefully Rex will be too).

Overall, when we consider how the Kalluzeb ship began and where it is now with the two characters, fans have hope now more than ever before that we will see the two interact again. While we might not know when or if live action Kallus will appear on screen, fans are still very eager and excited to see him with Zeb again.

While the ship is a gay ship, it is debatable whether or not Star Wars will fully commit to it. However, because of all of the support for it from fans, cast and crew, as well as all of the reasons l have listed up above, I choose to remain optimistic that we will see both Zeb and Kallus together on screen again. In my eyes, as well as many other fans eyes, they are as good as canon at this point.

Only time will tell as 2026 comes around and we enter what I am personally referring to as;

“The year of Kalluzeb.”

To finish off, enjoy this video of the best of Kalluzeb mentions at cons, celebrations and podcasts:

Thanks for reading! 💜🧡

[pollyanna-nana]

Louie isn’t evil.

Or: what Pikmin 4 tells us about his character.

BIG WARNING FOR PIKMIN 4 SPOILERS! (and the rest of the series)

———

I want to preface this by saying that I am in no way trying to be the end-all, be-all of character interpretations, but Pikmin 4 to me, at least, confirms the suspicions I’ve had since playing Pikmin 2 and 3 all those years ago that Louie ISN’T secretly evil, or possessed, or whatever else. He’s just… Louie. And I think that’s interesting in and of itself.

1. Olimar himself vouches for him, and clearly doesn’t think he’s a bad person.

Say what you will, but I’m inclined to think Olimar is a decent judge of character. Clearly he’s worked with Louie for enough time to see that while he’s not very good at his job, he’s not intentionally so— at least not in a malevolent way (will get more into this later). He also wants you to forgive him for Olimar’s sake, which can be read as self-sacrificing (as Olimar is known to be) but I also think hints at the soft spot he has for Louie.

It's also worth noting that he states during a end-of-day conversation that he told Louie that, since he's a new employee, he should do everything Olimar does... including throw castaways into the onion. Interesting that Louie took this so literally, but it does provide an explanation for why he kidnapped the Koppaites beyond "he's evil and crazy".

2. He really, REALLY loves his grandma.

Like, wow. He talks about her SO MUCH both in his Piklopedia entries and also elsewhere in the game. It's interesting. Worth noting is that he never mentions any other family members- unlike Olimar, who talks about his wife and each of his children independently. I've said this before, but the content of a lot of these entries implies to me that Louie was mainly raised by his grandma, likely since birth. And given some of her emails in Pikmin 2, assuming they're also canon to Pikmin 4's timeline... Well, Louie certainly had an interesting upbringing. But he clearly loves her all the same.

3. He has a mischievous streak and tends to do things on impulse.

This was already fairly obvious from the previous games, but I think it's worth noting that this game confirms that he's... would immature be the right word? In any regard, he doesn't seem to see himself as a "grown-up"- when in all likelihood he is. Personally, as a 22-year-old, I find that pretty relatable as I often think of myself as younger when in reality I am by all definitions an adult. This, along with his grandma still being around, makes it pretty much certain that Louie is a lot younger than Olimar and the president, likely in his early to mid twenties. Being a bit of a goofball isn't really out of the ordinary, all things considered.

THAT BEING SAID, he's clearly capable of practicing self-restraint when he wants to. What he says here about the red Pikmin is pretty significant, since we know he's willing to eat just about anything- but clearly he has some reservations about creatures that are friendly and helpful. Which leads to...

4. He loves dogs and fluffy things.

Same. But he doesn't even consider eating Moss, Oatchi or the Ancient Sirehound, showing that his creature-eating habits stop at things he recognizes as useful. He clearly also holds affection for things that are soft and fuzzy, and says as much.

5. He is so autism.

He plays with fidget toys. He loves certain textures and sounds. This guy is stimming all over PNF-404!!! I think this also lends some explanation for why his behavior is what it is- things like taking Olimar's suggestion to do as he does super literally even after crashing on an alien planet, his hyperfixation on cooking and tendency not to communicate and incorrectly interpret situations (thinking the Koppaites are kidnappers in 3, running away from you in 4). He could even be low or no empathy as well, explaining why it takes a hot minute to get him to understand why people are upset with him about something.

Interestingly this game also makes it clear that Louie wants to live on the planet, or at least thought he did while you were chasing him down, which makes a lot of sense when you consider that he doesn't really seem to fit in back on Hocotate. I, too, wish to run away to an alien world with all of the things that I like and no other people, so I get you, Louie.

6. He hates his boss and his job, and the golden pikpik carrot incident was likely premeditated.

This probably looks bad, but honestly? As a fellow work-hating anti-capitalist schmuck I get it. The president is for all intents and purposes a huge asshole, from sending Olimar straight back to the planet after selling his ship to not caring that Louie got left behind, just wanting to find the rest of the treasures. I doubt he is very kind to his employees, and doesn't seem very good at running the business. Definitely a funny character, but if he were my boss I would absolutely want to punt him into the sun.

From some other entries he clearly wants to sell certain things to accrue money, but it's for things like getting better kitchen tools and following his dream to have his own cooking show. Clearly being a freight driver isn't what Louie actually wants to do with his life, and he could not give less of a shit about what happens to the company. Very short-sighted on his part, but also again, yeah I get you Louie.

7. He... doesn't like the color red for some reason.

Honestly, I'm not even really sure what to make of this. Is it because it reminds him of the Hocotate ship? Or does he just not like the color? Would be very interesting considering that it's Olimar's signature color. Perhaps that's at least part of why he attacks you in Pikmin 2- though that's speculation for another day.

Also funny to me is his comments on the black-colored treasures. We know blue is his favorite color, but I guess he's also a bit of a goth at heart. Lol.

In conclusion.

I think Louie isn't written or intended to be evil, and Pikmin 4's portrayal of him was intentionally written to confirm this. He's just, as some have said, an agent of chaos, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Just an autistic 20-something working a shitty job he doesn't care about, who loves his grandma and has a mischievous streak and a hyperfixation on food. At least from what I can interpret, ymmv!

[nthspecialll]

Hosea and Dutch have massively different goals when it comes to being leaders of this gang and it mirrors the way they interact with the gang.

Dutch wants to be worshipped, he wants to be needed and he wants to be looked up to. For him it isn't as much about helping people as it is about gaining a group who will listen to his every word and satify his desires. For him being a leader is self-forfilling, he is doing it for himself.

Hosea wants to help people. He used to be a violent man but learned with time and loss that people were worth more, even those whom he had put a bullet in. He is at the end of his life and he wants to make sure the people he loves are safe and will remain safe after he is in the ground. For him being a leader is about helping those he can and those he loves.

Dutch raises himself above the others in the gang, he has a better room, better clothing, he doesn't need to indulge in chores, his girl doesn't need to work. He is distancing himself from the others, putting himself on this podium where he is above them. While Abigail is worrying if her child will starve, he is worrying about philosophy.

You won't see him being casually social in camp, when he is talking to people there is often a purpose more than just chatter. Sometimes it is to make himself sound smart by talking philosophy or other times it is to step up as this messiah and lead them. Often times he can be seen alone, either someplace where he can see the others or they can see him.

Hosea is down on the ground, literally. He sleeps in a tent outside next to the others, he is running small jobs and small gig. He provides the gang with food and the does his part of the chores. He includes himself into the gang instead of rising above him which he could have the right to should he want.

He is also a more socialable person. Sure, he will step up to the role of a leader should it be needed, whether it is for advice or disipin, but you can also find him sitting by the camp fire talking about his past, both the ups and down, or you can play dominos with him, passing time.

You can also find him in the middle of camp normally, sitting by the dinner table, on a chair by the tent or just taking a stroll.

On a smaller note I noticed that the people who sided with Dutch were never people in need of the father figure Hosea presented to a lot of the others. They had had a family biologically and didn't a new one, they seeked employment and a "god", not a father.

(Tags: @photo1030 @pinescent-and-gingerbread )

[nonotnolan]

Swap Broker: Social Climbing

Seeing James in a suit, Clay suddenly felt a bit self-conscious about scheduling a meeting at his modest apartment. The car that James drove was probably worth more than this entire building. Still, that was part of why he was hiring James in the first place. Clay was trapped in the lowest income tiers of society, and upward momentum was unheard of. He didn't regret dropping out of high school to take care of his younger brother when their mother passed-- their father had never been in the picture-- but now that his brother had a full ride to college, it was time to take care of himself for once. If he wanted any sort of life outside of minimum wage retail work, he was going to have to take drastic action.

"Legally, I have read you a few disclaimers before we begin," James said, pulling out some papers from his briefcase. "You are purchasing my services as a swap broker. This does not guarantee that I will be able to match you with another customer, and some customers may request additional payment. My servicing fees must be paid up front and in full. The body real estate market is new, and may be subject to new regulations at any time. You cannot trade more than ten years plus or minus your original date of birth, and any attempts to defraud security regulations will result in legal action, up to and including life in jail. If either client is able to prove misleading or fraudulent claims about their new body within the first 30 days, the swap will be reversed. Customer dissatisfaction is not a valid reason to reverse the swap process, so care should be taken prior to confirming purchase. If you agree to these terms, your payment will be considered a legal signature."

Clay paused, staring at the wad of cash in his hands. "You, uhh… you do take cash, right? I didn't even think about trying to get a money order."

James simply smiled at him. "That will be fine, Mr. Clay. It's not standard, but for you I will make an exception. Truth be told, I'm already making a few exceptions for you, but I've been able to pull strings to have it classified as charity work. Besides, all of your of the mandated background interviews have come back with glowing recommendations, which is why I have no issues taking such a risk on you."

"And I appreciate that, don't get me wrong. All the same, I… I'm just worried that no one will want to take my life in exchange for theirs," Clay said, kicking the carpet with his boots. "But anything will be better than this, and … well, I'm trusting you, James. I'm trusting you to find something for me."

"I actually do have a very promising lead for you, if you're willing to take it," he said, adjusting his necktie. "It's a very unusual situation, which is why most of my clients have not accepted this body. But for you… honestly, this might work. My client is local businessman Richard Hargrove, but the body for trade or sale is the body of his son, Aiden Hargrove. It's… legal, technically, though I'm not convinced Aiden fully understood the paperwork he was signing."

Clay raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess… Richard expects great things from his son, but his son isn't matching those expectations?"

James nodded. "It's a tale as old as time, and it's a lot of emotional baggage to carry over into a new life. If you want to inherit the family money, you'll have to make certain that you keep Richard appeased. There's going to be a lot of family drama, while most people on the market for a new body are looking for a swap with no strings attached."

"No strings, you say," Clay said, absent-mindedly scratching his chest. "How often are people swapping bodies, anyway?"

"Honestly, we're starting to see a lot of designer body circles where people swap bodies every few months like clothes. People are trying to establish winter bodies, vacation bodies, bodies for formal events… it's a bit of a mess out there right now. But most people don't want to be locked into a new body forever, which… is what Mr. Hargrove is looking for. But since it sounds like that is what you're looking for as well... here's a photo of Aiden," he said, passing a headshot over to Clay.

Clay could feel his cock stirring to life in his jeans. Aiden was incredibly attractive. He also looked like an insufferable spoiled rich kid, but… well, that was probably true. "James, this man is gorgeous. There has to be some sort of catch, more than just the family drama angle you described."

"Well… yes. As a part of the swap agreement, Mr. Hargrove is requiring that the person taking his son's body signs a five year habitation agreement. It includes a stipend of $100,000 spread across monthly installments, but it states that you will only be able to contact your prior family through written, voice, or video correspondence. Nor will you be able to contact any of your prior friends ever again. For most people, that's a complete dealbreaker. For you, however…"

Clay couldn't help but laugh. "My younger brother is going to college several states away, so I already have limited contact. And the closest things I have to friends are people who are nice to me at work." He paused, taking off his cap and squeezing its brim as he thought it over. "I really don't have anything to lose," he said. It felt odd to say it aloud, but… he hadn't fully realized just how much he had been putting everyone else's needs over his own until it was pointed out like this. "I always knew it, I mean… it's why I hired you, I just… I never quite thought about it like that. James, I accept. Whatever you need me to sign, let's do this."

James smiled. "Excellent choice! I'll put in an offer this afternoon, and I'll be in touch with the next round of paperwork. It's not official yet, but given that Aiden's body has been on the market for over five weeks, I can't imagine that we're going to get any resistance."

------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, so that was four strokes, which puts me at… +8," said the new Aiden. "Not great, but at least I'm slowly improving. Ready for the next hole, Dad?" The first week or two had had its share of uncomfortable moments, but he was slowly easing into the expectations of his new life. Now, after a few months, life as Aiden Hargrove was becoming second nature.

Richard smiled at him. "I'm proud of you, you know."

"Agh, Dad…" Aiden said, feeling himself starting to blush.

"No, I mean that," he said. "It was hard enough having to disown my first son… I was so worried about who my new son was going to be. But you… you're hard working, you're dedicated, you're sincere… how could anyone not be grateful? I'm… I'm bad at knowing how to show people that I care, Aiden. Too much tough love, they tell me. And if I'm going to start training you to take over the family business, that will only get worse. Which, I will be training you, son, you've picked up on sales like it was second nature. So… when we leave here, and I'm back to being a dick… it's because I expect a lot from you, okay? I'm proud of you even when I'm not showing it." Richard leaned in for a hug, which Aiden returned with an awkward embrace.

"Also, son, I keep meaning to ask-- have you been getting your dick wet?"

Aiden felt his stomach drop out from under him. "Jesus, Dad! That's not… do we have to talk about that?"

"You're almost thirty," Richard said, folding his arms. "It's well past time for you to get married. I'm not going hold sins of the old Aiden against you, but people are already starting rumors. An eligible Hargrove, unmarried? It's unheard of. I don't even care who you marry, as long as they make at least $150,000 per year. Are you gay? I've seen the way your eye wanders in the country club's sauna. The old Aiden was straight as an arrow, but we can smooth that over easy enough."

"I… yes sir, I am a gay man," Aiden admitted, as he desperately prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him in. "I haven't, uhh… I haven't had sex in this body yet. I've been focused more on living as the new Aiden. Adding a relationship to things felt… complicated. Especially since the thought of a queer scandal had me afraid to… pursue things, as it were."

Richard waved a dismissive hand. "Well, start pursuing them. You're a Hargrove now. We don't have scandals, we just have bribe money. Your mother and I are going to be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary next year, and I expect to you be engaged by then. I need everyone to see that you are a force to be reckoned with."

------------------------------------------------------

Aiden leaned against the bar of the country club, waiting for his date to arrive. It was easy to adjust to the trappings of his new life, but he hoped to never fully lose sight of his roots. The navy suit he was wearing tonight was a designer piece that cost about two months of his old life's salary, and he was about to spend over ten hours of minimum wage labor on a single dinner. The universe had managed to reward all of those years of thankless labor with the opportunity to live Aiden's life, and it wasn't something he ever wanted to take for granted.

Trying to date as a gay man looking for marriage was complicated enough. Trying to date men who fit his new father's limited criteria was proving to be almost impossible. Most of the men who checked off all of the necessary requirements were either straight or insufferable-- but usually both. All the same, Aiden had high hopes for his date with Hunter. Unlike his previous dates, Hunter came into his wealth by creating and then selling his business at the right time. Hopefully that lack of a privileged upbringing would make him a tolerable human being.

Dinner with Hunter proved to be everything that Aiden had hoped for, and more. They were able to hold actual conversation, shifting from topic to topic without his date trying to brag about prior accomplishments or disparaging Aiden's interests as puerile. It was taking all of his restraint not to mount Hunter right there, in the middle of the dining room.

"Would you like to join me on a brief walk?" Aiden asked, once their meals had been finished and billed to his family's tab. "You'll have to forgive me if I am being too forward, but I took the liberty of reserving one of the... private cabana rooms at the edge of the grounds." His eyebrows waggled as he emphasized the word private, and the flush on Hunter's cheeks confirmed that the innuendo had not been lost on his date. Aiden swelled with pride as he observed the outline of Hunter's erection against his blue slacks as the man stood up, the most sincere sort of compliment he could receive. His own manhood was straining against his silk boxer briefs, and he found himself hoping that Hunter was sneaking glances.

"I... do have a confession, before we get too serious," Hunter said, as they strolled across the greens. "This is not my real body. My swap broker arranged for a three month loaner, while my real body is...being acclimated to my new wealth, shall we say. I'm paying someone to lose weight at the gym, whiten my teeth, develop a suitable skin care regimen... that sort of thing. And once I do get my body back, there will a wardrobe and hairstyle adjustment period..." He started to tug nervously at his collar. "Just a temporary side effect of being new money. I hope you don't find that too scandalous."

Aiden gave him a warm smile. "Far from it, I assure you. Your newfound wealth and status is part of your charm. It means you don't have any of the odious habits of my peers." He wrapped a possessive arm around Hunter's waist and pulled him close, a trophy to be displayed. "Besides, that sounds like an incredibly smart usage of a swap brokerage contract. If things get serious, I'll have to tell you about my own family's dealings with swap brokers."

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part one.

INSTAGRAM.

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tagged: landonorris

yourusername a smiley lando is the best lando in my books! to celebrate the end of the 2023 season, here's a handful of my favourite photos from throughout the year!

view all 3,171 comments

mclaren What a happy lad! We can't wait to see that smile again in 2024 😁🧡

↳ yourusername you and me both! 🤝🧡

user she's got the dream job omg

↳ user IKR??? imagine just getting to follow lando around and take pictures of him all day, i'd be dead within the first hour

↳ user he'd smile at me and i'd be asking “what are we” on god 😩😩😩

↳ user is that literally all she does??? she just follows him around and takes pictures??

↳ user there’s probably a technical term for what her position is and i just don’t know it, but bc there’s so much going on around the track at any given moment, sometimes the press and other media workers are focused on something or someone else, so she’s hired on by mclaren to specifically focus on mclaren to make sure that there is content for mclaren or mclaren sponsors to use. she’s not just lando’s photographer, she also takes photos of oscar, the pit teams, and the other staff that work in the garage, but she was hired on when lando started so her portfolio is pretty full of him. hope this helps!

user didn't know i could need so much orange in my life but here we are

user LANDO NORRIS SUPREMACY

oscarpiastri i see who the favourite is 🫤

↳ yourusername you literally SAW me picking photos for your post too

↳ oscarpiastri yeah but you posted his first 🫤

user guys this is the face of the 2024 wdc winner take it in now

user i could write a 50 page thesis on the importance of these photos and what they mean to me and how the serotonin they make me release could replace my depression meds

user lad’s like a mini danny ric with how smiley he is

landonorris best photog right here folks

↳ yourusername you're only saying that bc i always get your good side

↳ landonorris i'll have you know that all sides are my good sides 🤨

↳ yourusername whatev helps you sleep at night luv 😊

In 2019, when you took on the job of being McLaren’s lead photographer, you hadn’t expected it would garner you the amount of attention it has, or that it would slingshot your career to levels of success you never could have anticipated, or that you would get a best friend out of it.

When you first met him back in those early days, you’d thought Lando Norris was an arrogant, pretentious, self-righteous prick who thought he was hot shit because he was a Formula One driver. However, he’d quickly proven you wrong when he’d admitted to you that a lot of the confidence was an act━ carefully constructed to hide his insecurities about his performance both on and off the track.

“I mean, we’re drivers, yeah?” He’d said. “But we’re also actors. We’ve got these personas that we have to uphold even out here on the paddock, and I’m always worried I’m not playing the part well enough.”

It hadn’t made a lot of sense to you then, you thought he was pulling off the persona of Total Douche remarkably well, but in Shanghai, things changed.

After the Chinese Grand Prix, things were dour. Lando had DNFed━ the first in his Formula One career━ which contrasted greatly with his previous accomplishment of P6 in Bahrain. Carlos Sainz hadn’t been doing very well, either, and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture for McLaren so early in the season. You’d thought he’d throw a hissy fit, tear Daniil Kvyat apart for his role in the crash, or at the very least throw some shade his way, but he hadn’t done any of that. He’d accepted his fate with grace, joked to the media about how boring the race had been because of what had happened, and then gone on to congratulate Carlos for at least finishing.

What was even more shocking, was that despite his disappointment and the frustration he must’ve been feeling, instead of going back to sulk in his lonesomeness or drown out his feelings with booze and loud music at some club, he’d comforted you later that evening.

The morning of the race, as you’d been getting ready in your hotel room, you’d gotten a text from an unsaved number admitting to you that they’d been taking part in a months-long affair with your boyfriend but had been previously unaware that he was already taken and therefore wanted to let you know to clear their conscience. You’d managed to hold yourself together then━ mostly because you’d already done your makeup and, quite frankly, didn’t have the time to sob it all off and then attempt to salvage it━ but as the day drew to a close and the adrenaline of the race and its excitement wore off, and with nothing else to keep you distracted, you were struggling to keep yourself composed.

Lando had somehow noticed in that weirdly perceptive way of his that something was off, and he’d sat with you, asked what was wrong, and listened when you━ through tears━ explained the situation to him.

“He sounds like a total fucking muppet,” he’d commented after you’d said your piece, and he’d done it with such a deadpanned expression that it had startled a genuine laugh out of you. Because yeah, you’re (now ex) boyfriend had been a muppet.

After that━ and after all the rom-com and ice cream binging you’d both done in his hotel room afterward much to the chagrin of Lando’s nutritionist and the displeasure of his PR officer━ you’d rescinded your initial judgment of him. He was significantly less dickish than you’d originally thought, and it let you finally understand what he’d meant when he’d talked about putting on a persona.

The cocky, know-it-all prick that Lando pretended to be half the time was all just an act to hide his overly self-critical nature fueled by his insecurities.

By the end of the season, he’d gained a little confidence of his own and had subsequently toned down the assholery when he no longer needed to “fake it til he makes it,” and you were calling him your friend.

It’s 2023 now, and he’s since been upgraded to best friend status━ a role he takes very seriously, and constantly reminds you of.

“I’m your best friend━” case and point, “━you have to come to Bali with me. Literally, like, what am I gonna do without you there? Do you expect me to just go by myself? What if I get lost? Or what if somehow the mafia, who have unknowingly had a hit out on me for years, track me down there and I’m kidnapped and ransomed off for billions of dollars? What will you do then?”

“You just want me to take pictures of you,” you answer, rolling your eyes only because you know he can’t see you through the phone.

He gasps in mock offense. “I cannot believe you think I value you so little! I want you to take pictures of me and be here to help me make fun of awkward tourist spray tans so I don’t feel like a total asshole for being the only one who laughs.”

You laugh at that. “Well, unfortunately laughing at bad fake tans doesn’t pay the bills.”

“But taking pictures of me does.”

“Yeah, when McLaren is paying.” You turn back to your laptop, a photo put on pause mid-edit splayed across the screen. It’s of Lando, as most of your photos tend to be despite your attempts at keeping things even between the McLaren boys. It’s the last of the images you need to send over for their 2023 sendoff, and when it’s finished you’ll officially be without work for a painstaking two months. “I’m on break too, technically, until they need promotional shit for the new season.”

He huffs, and you can almost imagine the childish pout on his face. “What are you even doing, then?”

You hesitate, not because you don’t want Lando to know about your winter plans, but because you don’t really know how he’ll react, which means it could be anything between genuine happiness for you and congratulations, or abject horror and feigned screams of anguish. He’s always been dramatic like that, but even more so now that he’s comfortable enough with you and himself to have crawled a decent way out of his shell.

Even still, he’s your best friend and it would make you a pretty shitty person if you didn’t tell him.

“Believe it or not,” you start, wringing your hands together, “but Manchester City actually hit me up with an inquiry. Asked if I’d be interested in working with them on a project documenting their training throughout the winter months. I said I would love to.”

He pauses for a good long moment, and you prepare for the screaming, but all he says is━ “Man City? You traitor. I thought Man United was our forever!”

“Be so fucking real right now, Lando Norris,” you answer, laughing as you do so. You’re relieved, at least he hasn’t gone the feigned anguish route, but you also can’t tell if he’s happy for you or hiding his true feelings behind humor like he’s prone to doing. “You know damn well you only watched them for Christiano Ronaldo and he hasn’t played with United since 2009.”

“Technically he played for them in the 2021-2022 season,” he grumbles.

“Yeah,” you deadpan, “and he was dogshit. We both agreed to pretend it never happened.”

He groans, “I can’t believe this. My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable.”

“Oh, get over yourself. It’s only for the winter. I’ll be back in McLaren Papaya by February when they need me snapping shots of you and Oscar next to the new livery,” you promise.

The reality is that it’ll probably be sooner. McLaren has always been good about getting you back at HQ pretty quickly, either to get some snapshots of the beginning of Lando and Oscar’s pre-season return or to just capture some material of the engineers at work to promote their readiness. You understand why they can’t keep you around all year━ no Lando and no Oscar means no you━ and with the sheer amount of content you capture and edit for them throughout the season, they’ve got enough to last them the handful of weeks you aren’t working.

Unfortunately, you aren’t working with a driver’s salary to keep you sustained over the break and rent certainly hasn’t been getting cheaper. In past years, your bank account has been chirping with crickets when you’ve returned to work after the winter, and that was before your landlord had decided to make your life a living hell.

You have an important job, but it’s by far the most important, and sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Working in sports media taught you that early on.

“Who knows?” Lando’s voice snaps you back. “Maybe Jack Grealish with his perfect hair and perfect calves will steal you away and you’ll be in sky blue forevermore.”

You laugh, “Jack Grealish is a happily taken man, and although he does have perfect hair and perfect calves, I’m more of a Haaland girl anyway.”

He guffaws. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re so far gone that you already have a preferred player. Jack Grealish is England’s poster boy! Everyone loves him whether they like City or not!” He heaves a dramatic sigh. “Christ, I can already feel you slipping through my fingers. I give it a week over there at Etihad before you call me up telling me I can find a new best friend because you’ve replaced me with Phil Foden and Julian Alvarez.”

“For someone who supposedly hates Manchester City, you’re certainly well-versed in their roster.”

“Well duh, I need to know my competition,” he says, like it’s obvious.

“Ah, yes,” you snark back sarcastically. “Because you, a Formula One driver, have to be worried about the football players of Manchester City.”

“Apparently I do if you’re calling yourself a Haaland girl now!”

You burst into cackles and he’s following shortly after with chuckles of his own that eventually peter out into a comfortable silence. You are really going to miss him for the few months you aren’t working with him.

The Formula One schedule is so jam-packed across the season that it typically means you’re getting to see him every day for an hour or two at least, if not for the entirety of the time he’s at the track. You follow him and Oscar to their sponsor obligations, their interviews, and everything in between. It’s honestly rare if you’re not getting a moment to goof off and dick around with one another━ and it’s even rarer for you to not actually see one another face to face in passing at the very least.

The off-season is your least favorite time of the year for this very reason, and though it makes you feel a bit full of yourself to think so, you imagine Lando doesn’t enjoy this time of year much either for the same reason.

“I promise I won’t replace you with any of the City boys,” you say after the silence has stretched on a moment longer.

He huffs again, but you can envision the smile tugging at his lips. “I suppose even if you do, I’ll just show up to a match and steal you away again.”

“As if. Have you seen Grealish’s calves?”

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footballfansofficial BREAKING: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward caught with mysterious woman revealed to be well-known Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The two were seen sharing a romantic evening on Friday, the 5th of January, ringing in a passionate start to 2024. Garrett Ward has been with Manchester City since 2021 but was out on loan to a lesser-known Championship League team until 2023. He has just recently begun to play for his team again, but an injury early into the season has seen him benched for a majority of his time back. Y/N L/N is a photographer for Formula One racing team McLaren and has been working with them since 2019. Recently, she has been working with Manchester City to help promote a new docuseries following the men’s team’s winter training. Check the link in our bio for the full article!

view all 12,971 comments

user OMG GARRETT WARD??? NOTORIOUS BACHELOR GARRETT WARD???

user who is she? like genuinely how is she relevant 🤔

↳ user no literally cuz like who even gives two shits about formula 1?

user girl works in f1 why can’t she stay there

↳ user i’m sure there are plenty of drivers who’d smash her idk why she needs to try and get footballers too like bffr 😒😒😒

user aint no way this bitch is kissing my man rn

user literally what does he even see in her??? she’s not even cute AND she’s wearing man united colors 💀💀

user Y/N L/N??? I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS???

↳ user LITERALLY ME TOO?? like she posts him all the time on insta so i just kinda thought they were an item or smth?? trouble in paradise maybe

user she’s fucking ugly wtf

user i wish these footballers who get with regular women would realize there are so many better girls out there that would ACTUALLY treat them well and would support them in their careers. like i bet this girl doesn’t even know anything about football. she works in f1 and that’s where she should stay bc nobody cares about that shit round here. she probably doesn’t even know the first thing about how football works, but i bet she’ll be at matches pretending like she knows what’s happening. garrett ward is gonna flush his career down the troilet for this chick bc she’s gonna convince him his busy schedule ain’t worth it and then city will be down a great forward for good, and it’ll all be her fault

user i mean she’s kinda pretty tbf

↳ user stfu she really isn’t

↳ user she gen looks like any random bitch off the street

user these comments are not it…. 😬

↳ user maybe you f1 fans just don’t know how to handle constructive criticism

↳ user is the constructive criticism in the room with us rn?? cuz all i’m seeing is bullying and hatred directed towards an innocent woman who’s only “crime” was going on a date

user ok so she can take photos?? 🙄🙄 maybe she should get a real job

↳ user she’s probably only with him so she can mooch off of him like a fucking gold digger

user AINT NO WAYYYYYY

user it’ll last a month max 😌 i’m calling it

user ayo lando come get your girl

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette

━━ a/n: here we have it! took me a bit longer than the start of american smile did, but lando's story is officially here! (and it's a whopping 2.9k words to start us off). first and foremost, before we get started, garrett ward is 100% an oc and obviously does not play for manchester city, and this is bc i would feel absolutely horrible portraying a real person in the way that garrett will be later on. gather from that what you will haha! regardless, i hope you enjoy this first part and stick around for the rest!

[superpyodan]

In Defence of Alex Mullner 🏈

I've been wanting to write this for a while, because I'm so tired of how often Alex appears to be misunderstood within the Stardew Valley fandom. I truly think that Alex is fundamentally minsunderstood, and as someone who thinks about him a lot (grave understatement), I wanted to put my two pence out there. Please hear me out 😭❤️ I have tried to keep this as objective as possible, based on character information.

(WC: 1085)

A common thing that is brought up about Alex’s character is that he is misogynistic. While I will not deny his misogyny (these are reasons, not excuses), I truly do not believe that, at his core, Alex is a misogynistic person. Something that people never seem to bring up about Alex is the severe lack of role models, especially male role models, in his life. His father was an abusive man, and his grandfather is grumpy and homophobic. A lot of the older men in Pelican Town are either horrible people (Clint, Lewis) or would likely not extend friendship or mentorship to Alex (Shane, Harvey, Demetrius). I would assume that Alex’s primary form of socialisation outside of his family was through gridball-related spaces — Sports teams, fan clubs, etc. There are, notoriously, spaces that are absolutely riddled with toxic masculinity. This, including the issues with his father (who, important to note, canonically didn’t treat Clara well also) have created socialisation problems in Alex’s life. All he’s known from other men is arrogance and toxicity, and because he has no role models, he believes that it’s the type of man he is also supposed to be, especially because he’s an athlete.

He knows it’s wrong, though. He knows, deep down, that this ‘persona’ he puts on is unfriendly and abrasive. He very quickly apologises to the player for it. Which, then leads me to the next point — Vulnerability.

Alex is very emotionally fragile. He’s had a difficult life, something that I assume that no one would argue against. His father was abusive, his mother died, and he lives with his grandparents, one of which is likely less than pleasant to live with. Evelyn is an angel, but she’s all Alex has. I would assume, though, that he barely even has Evelyn to help him with his issues. In Alex’s four heart event, the player finds him venting to his dog. Why would Alex be venting to his dog, if he had a support system? People who are open and willing to help him through his problems? During this heart event, when the player extends a caring hand towards Alex, he opens up about his difficult past. Then, Alex’s 6 heart event, is him once again expressing his own personal issues. His insecurities. His self-worth issues, arguably. Then, in his 8 heart event, he’s once again, upset, this time because of his mother’s death.

Once Alex is given permission to be vulnerable, it’s as if his emotional flood-gates open. Once he has a safe person (the farmer), he’s able to offload many year’s worth of pent up emotions. HIs abrasive exterior melts, and underneath it is a person who is, unquestionably, going through a lot. He’s not as arrogant as he expresses in the beginning. I would assume it’s a coping mechanism, of sorts. A mask to hide what’s going on, on the inside. He’s a gentle man, who has been hard-done by, by absolutely no fault of his own.

Similar to the fact that Alex has no support system, he also has no friends. I’m not entirely sure why this is — Perhaps because of his initial ‘arrogance’, or perhaps due to a fear of being mistreated, or perhaps because he feels (or is!) misunderstood. A big part of Alex’s character, and one that I don’t see mentioned often, is that he never goes to the saloon. Not even during the green rain events. Because of this, I’d assume that he misses out on a lot of social opportunities with the other younger people in town. Alex has Haley, but in canon, their relationship is very shallow. Both of them try to use the player as somewhat of a messenger pigeon between them, and once the player’s heart level is up with either of them, they stop hanging out as much. Alex. Does. Not. Have. Any. Friends. He is lonely, which likely adds to the issues previously mentioned.

‘’He shows off about gridball!!’ — Okay? Why shouldn’t he? He’s obviously talented, and puts a lot of work into his athleticism. This is a non-argument. Let the boy be proud of himself!

Then, there’s the gay issue. This is a little seperate, because it’s a whole other thing that’s mostly headcanon. However — Alex is one of a few bachelors who have a ‘gay’ storyline. As the male player, in Alex’s 10 heart event, he mentions that he was trying to push back his feelings for the player.

‘’I kept telling myself, you can’t have these kinds of feelings for another guy.’’

Many people in the fandom, including myself, are under the impression that Alex is gay, despite the ‘playersexual’ nature of all the romanceable characters. If this were canonically true, it would explain a lot about Alex as a character. Take all the things previously mentioned, on top of the fact that Alex is very obviously dealing with internalised homophobia, and his lonely and outcasted nature makes a lot of sense. Being gay and not having the means to express it can be a deeply isolating experience. Especially for Alex, who, again, is an athlete and has a homophobic grandfather; Two things that would, and do, greatly affect queer people’s ability to be confident in, or understand, their identities. It’s a huge question mark held above Alex’s character.

I think, ultimately, Alex doesn’t know who he is, even without taking his sexuality into account (though, it definitely adds to the situation). He’s never had the ability to explore himself, due to being put into a box as ‘the gridball guy’ with the dead mother and abusive father. He lives with his grandparents, so likely isn’t able to be as carefree as other characters (such as, say, Abigail). I also don’t think he’s able to be carefree because of the sheer amount of baggage he carries. He’s a sweet guy. Fragile, someone who needs another person (the player) to show him some love and care. He needs friendship and a shoulder to lean on, and he’s presumably never had either of those things. He shouldn’t be written off as arrogant or misogynistic, and I truly and wholeheartedly do not believe these things are true to who he actually is as a person.

[imfierylilac]

Remember when I said that Duke might be an orphan? Well, I decided to dig deeper into that theory — and I found quite a few clues.

Duke seems a little obsessed with being noticed. He constantly seeks attention, throws himself into wild adventures, puts on a show. Sure, maybe he just enjoys it — but what if it goes deeper than that?

Orphaned children who grow up neglected often learn to stand out in order to be seen. And that’s exactly what Duke does: he keeps standing out to feel acknowledged and important.

He also shows a strong dislike for the upper class, which could stem from having grown up in poverty himself.

Duke has serious trust issues. Orphaned kids, especially those who lacked stability, often pull away first or avoid getting too close to anyone at all — just like Duke. At first he was reluctant to accept Berenice and Eulalie into the team, and at first he had a hard time accepting Pluto.

He’s also a thrill-seeker, possibly because no one ever taught him that, say, letting someone throw knives at you or escaping a water tank while shackled isn’t exactly safe. No one was around to worry about his well-being — so he never learned to worry about it himself.

We know Duke is charismatic and flashy, but maybe that’s exactly because he had to fight for his place in the spotlight — and for attention.

Duke has an inflated self-esteem and an unshakable belief in his own views. “I’m better than the rest. I’m special. If they didn’t pick me — something’s wrong with them.” That could be a coping mechanism shaped by a toxic childhood situation. It helped him survive, but now it holds him back from building trust, admitting mistakes, or forming healthy relationships — because that would threaten the identity he built around his self-worth. We also see this steadfastness reflected in how Duke never doubts his plans, no matter how dangerous they may be.

He’s bold, even cheeky at times — and that boldness is how he stays in control. He hates being cornered. A joke, a snarky comment, a challenge — it’s all about taking the lead, being the one who speaks first. That way, no one sees his fear or insecurity. We see this very clearly when he tried to negotiate with Montresor.

Of course, all of this is based on indirect clues — nothing is confirmed. But honestly, I really like this theory. It just makes a lot of sense to me.

[yours-truly-q]

~ Your Eunoia ☆·*○.

☆ Synopsis - Does L care about how smart his partner is? (spoiler alert: he doesn't) ☆ Warnings! - a LOT of low self-esteem from reader, NEOT proof-read (I am very tired, pls don't judge) ☆ Pairing/s - L. Lawliet x gn!reader ☆ Notes - Trying something new style wise, tell me what you think! I've also just got back into Death Note (OH how I MISS YOU L ‼️) w/c - 1.1k

"Why do you like me?" You ask L bluntly, the previous silence being disturbed by your abrupt question. Your eyes flick between L and the coffee table, which had recent crime scene photos resting on it, like you couldn't decide what sight to let your eyes settle on. You were nervous, and maybe L could see that through your fiddling hands and body posture which has you curled into the sofa you sat on, like it could personally hide you from his deductive abilities. You knew better though.

L gives it a bit of thought, hands pausing over a photo at your words, before they continue their descent, fingers brushing the paper. You wonder what he thinks sometimes, how he can find a suspect by their body language and speech pattern alone, what clues he sees as relevant and what ones aren't worth looking at twice. He's so smart it makes you wonder why he would choose you in the first place. You're not particularly smart, you didn't do things he couldn't predict, if anything he sees what you're going to do before you even do it, so why you?

"You're simple and nice to look at." L states bluntly, his voice breaking you out of your thought process.

"Thanks" You roll your eyes playfully at his comment, but consider his words carefully, trying to understand this from L's perspective, what he could mean. 'Simple?' Your face scrunches up in confusion at the word, 'But why does he want that? Does he even want that? If he didn't, then why would he even point it out in the first place?' Your eyes glaze over as you let your head try to break down L's words, hoping that dissecting his reply will lead to a reasonable answer.

"...You're thinking about this too hard." L mumbles loud enough for you to hear, while his large black eyes glance over to you from the corner of his vision. He takes in your expression attentively, before going back to staring intently at two photos that lay side by side.

"Well, it's hard not too when I can't figure out if being 'simple' is a good thing or not." You huff out a laugh, one hand coming up to fiddle with the fabric of your shirt sheepishly. You look away from his form entirely, not sure what to make of this conversation at all.

"It is-" L starts as his index finger taps his lip in thought, no doubt about the case that was presented to him no more than 2 hours ago. "-You are easy to emotionally read, no matter how subtle or obvious your tells are, simple in thought process, so, predictable-" He continues while reaching over the table to grab a file, from the other end of the table, to scrutinise.

"WOW, just call me stupid why don't you?" You joke quietly with a silly smile slapped across your face. Though L makes a mental note to pick apart the emotional and mental connotations that that comment comes with, along with your expression, later.

"-, and, to me, accessible." L finishes, opening the file and taking in the information it presents him, though, before he starts reading, he stares at you with a prominent expression and says.

"You're simple, and that very thing is a quality I appreciate and look for in my environment when all I see is complexity." Then L looks down to his file, like he never said anything in the first place. He almost looks distracted, even though you know for a fact he is nothing of the sort, like he's not listening and you take a moment to admire him, as subtly as you can, in all his glory. The way his black hair shines in the white fluorescent light of the hotel room, how his finger brushes over his lip in thought and most of all, how his dark eyes scan over pages of facts and data. He's so pretty so it's not fair how he's so smart on top of all of that.

'What do you have to offer to him? What do you do for him? What makes him stay?' You look away from L as you let the thoughts quietly fester in your mind, because, they were right, weren't they? Even if what he wanted was simplicity and you were, apparently, that very thing, It's not like you were easy to interact with or be with as a partner. Insecurity lurked in every corner of your mind tainting each thing you said, did or even thought. No matter how far you ran from it, it would always find you and curl its sharp, venomous claws into your heart. So maybe you were simple, but you were in no way easy to handle, and you were just waiting for him to get sick of you and your constant self-doubt.

A small hum brings you out of your thoughts once more, before you notice L placing down the file he was reading, onto the table, and shuffling towards you. He crouches in front of your chair, in his typical L stance, while his eyes bore into your own with a certain intensity you've only seen very few times.

"Do not think that because you doubt yourself, that you are less deserving of my affections. Your value isn't determined by your flaws, nor your failures; nor is your worth in this relationship determined by how much you 'contribute' or 'bring' to the relationship. Your insecurities don't take away from the amount of fondness I harbor for you." His voice holds an air of unwavering certainty, like the mere idea that this could be a false statement was a crazy thought. L's normally deadpan face softened as you scanned his expression, eye brows, lips, nose, for any sign of deception. Then the moment you gazed into his eyes, you saw it, a warm tenderness that L unusually didn't show so freely, but here it was, just so you could confirm that he meant this, confirm how he felt. He was committed to you, and maybe this was his silent way of showing it.

"You will see your worth, for yourself, one day, but for now simply remember that, once again-" L leans in closer to you, chest almost brushing your knees to emphasise his words even more. "-your value isn't determined by your flaws, nor your failures." His voice carries a weight to it that you couldn't name if you tried, but his eyes tell you all you need to know. So even though you're uncertain, even though you don't feel that you're enough, you nod because you know that even if you don't feel worth the trouble, L does and maybe that, in itself, enough.

☆ Bonus!

"...so you like me because I'm stupid is what I'm hearing?" You joke again while leaning towards L in your chair. Whatever tension that had been building between the you two immediately dissipates as you let out small giggles.

"You know that's not what I mean, but if you wish to take it that way then who am I to correct you?" L reaches for his cup, but it can't hide that rare smile of his, that spreads across his face.

[craske]

*Inhale* OKAY! I can’t draw for shit so just casually imagine one of those drawings with all my ideas on it, because I have found several CRK Beast AU’s to obsess over OML!!

Cue ideas for Dejammed (also, I might be mixing it up with the beastsitting au, and actually mean that one instead? I assume whichever one I intended to speak about will be clear enough. I’m way too tired for this)

-Wizard Cookie is usually training with Shadow Milk, but let’s be real, the kids way smarter than he’s given credit for. Wizard can see the strain it puts on the jester, so he decides to practice by himself… which leads to Wizard getting really hurt, even more so because he’s underbaked, Shadow Milk comes in after and panics over his future son. (If you are both comfortable doing so and have enough energy and time, I would be beyond grateful if you could feed us with this one🙏)

-The Beasts haven’t the faintest idea how to take care of themselves. Proper diet? Never met her. Wizard decides to being Shadow Milk food… what he’s actually able to aquire or make is up to question, but hey, babybeastsitters need to feed their beasts.

-Sooo, Shadow Milk teaches Wizard magic. Probably out of boredom at first, or who knows what else, but I can imagine him getting attached after a minute. They feel oddly similar, tbh. Probably not possible, but I love the idea of Shadow Milk gifting Wizard one singular hair eye without our lil’ ice cream cookie knowing. “Why did you slump over so tired all of a sudden?” “No reason.”

-Wizard Cookie is staring daggers at the bottom of a distant bookshelf, glaring at the tiny, itty bitty enchanted puppet that’s peaking out from behind it on the floor. He’s [insert age], he doesn’t need to be watched!

-Shadow Milk catches Wizard sneaking out to gather supplies for magic, be it herbs or what not. Cue begrudging parent Shadow Milk.

-I am so beyond excited for when our beloved little Ovenbreak Trio’s backstories is revealed to relevant characters because the utter realization and pain will be glorious.

You keep being you! Rest well and take breaks when needed, quality is more than worth waiting for! Thank you for the lovely AU!

— 💼

what a delightful ask what a delightful goddamn ask, all these scenarios are so lovely!!! the possible dynamic of student-teacher between these two is something that i enjoy a lot and what you wrote was such a fun take on it AUGH!! also thank you so much for your kind words 🥺 i try to be efficient with making au stuff to share because im notoriously slow, so your words mean a lot to me

it sounds really in character for wizard to try spells on his own, he is self-taught so far after all. which can of course be pretty risky. and while one of goals for shadow milk, like other beasts, is to grow to care in the end, he would care too. would he show it? pshhh nuh uh! got a reputation to keep up, you know? [hes insufferable!!]

dont trust kids with coming up with proper diet, they will stuff you with candy. watch them both be made to begrudgingly eat their greens

getting the shadow eye is like a rite of passage LMAO i dont know if wizard cookie would be that stoked about dark moon magic leaving such a mark on him, at the same time... what a big deal! and by then shadow milk wouldve already been getting along much better with others so... hehe

just like shadow milk gets his own raisin crow to keep an eye on him, the beast doing the same is such a fun idea!! watch him be dramatic about that too, because he made them himself! youre welcome!

shadow milk vibes like the type of person who would catch the kids sneak around and encourage them because stopping them is what a responsible adult would do [that one scene from gravity falls yk??]

itd be such a fun thing to reveal to the beasts, that the witches still bake, or baked until very recently. and while im sure shadow milk knows about cookie eating thing. but thinking about that happening to the particular group of annoying pests would make him [and probably others as well?] go all :// about it

[comicaurora]

How would you as the writer say each of the main six characters fits into which major characteristics of the five man band?

I'd say they don't, but it is fun to lay out the arguments for each of them filling every role.

Kendal:

The Leader; he's the one who got everyone together and he carries the most authority, literally speaking for a deity and doing most of the real negotiations with the powerful forces they deal with.

The Lancer; he's a foil to nearly everybody else in the group, and despite his quiet and gentle tone, has the worst track record of going off by himself and getting into trouble.

The Big Guy; he's got the most metaphysical oomph with the widest applications, and he hits the hardest out of anyone when he decides to start hitting. Gets taken out of commission early to avoid this outcome.

The Smart Guy; with the accumulated knowledge of centuries' worth of lifetimes and the remembered experience of a god, he has access to a wellspring of knowledge with an ease that nobody else can match.

The Heart; he's the one who keeps drawing people into the group, and he cares so, so deeply about their well-being.

Alinua:

The Leader; when the others argue or fret, she's the one who actually makes decisions.

The Lancer; she's learned a lot of hard lessons and sees Kendal making mistakes she's already learned from, and that tension brings them into conflict even though they care deeply about each other.

The Big Guy; direct conduit to a force beyond any god, when something really big needs breaking it's up to her and nobody else.

The Smart Guy; literally cannot stop overthinking, has an intuitive understanding of something deeply arcane to everyone else.

The Heart; motivated by deep compassion at the core of her being, even when it's tactically unwise or she thinks it'll make her explode.

Erin:

The Leader; he is absolutely certain that he is the leader of the group.

The Lancer; proud and self-confident, immediately sure that he knows what's going on better than anyone else, he's a foil to both Kendal and Alinua who are very aware of their limits. This also means Erin gets himself into trouble so, so often, and is continually surprised when the others bail him out.

The Big Guy: The most diverse range of magical firepower plus a superpowered evil side for spice. Erin is a mighty glacier and a glass cannon at the same time.

The Smart Guy; he is absolutely certain he is the smart guy of the group. The most book-smart, certainly, and fundamentally driven by a deep and profound curiosity to understand the world.

The Heart; he'd never say or believe as much, but his greatest frustration with himself is that he wants to be coldly logical and brilliant and instead he's driven by a pesky moral compass that demands he sacrifice his goals and convenience for the people he loves.

Falst:

The Leader; he'd never believe so, but he's very good at taking charge in a crisis, and the decisions he makes generally work out well for everyone. He's also very good at thinking tactically in terms of everyone's abilities and how they factor into the group. Also, probably the most explicitly loyal member of the group.

The Lancer; almost the platonic ideal of Lancer Energy. Angry and snarky and happy to second-guess everyone around him.

The Big Guy; in a Wolverine sort of way, it's less how hard he hits and more how hard he can get hit before he goes down for good. This is the only role he thinks he's good for.

The Smart Guy; aside from a lot of street smarts, he's a deeply curious and puzzle-solving type, and Erin has been deeply impressed with him since he robbed him for the purposes of homebrewing a backyard enchantment. It's all tactical.

The Heart; deeply, painfully loyal to his friends due to a raw, open wound of loneliness. Will hold the group together if he has to dig in his claws to do it.

Dainix:

The Leader; the only person in the group who actually has experience leading a troupe of fighters and knows how to look out for a group as a whole rather than a handful of loners.

The Lancer; the role he thinks the fills, in the "second in command good at taking orders" sort of way.

The Big Guy; has a literal hulk mode

The Smart Guy; the "has way too many weapons and knows how to use all of them" variety. His expertise is in taking down things much bigger and scarier than he is, and you can't do that without being tactical.

The Heart; deeply empathic and extremely in tune with how the people around him are feeling, and the only member of the group with both the emotional intelligence and the sharpness to cut through various teammate's emotional defenses and actually get them to open up. Not too polite to leave other people's issues alone.

Tess:

The Leader; no way in hell. The only role she categorically denies. Tess's beating heart is wanderlust and that doesn't mesh with a group of any kind.

The Lancer; yes please. She'll do her own thing first and foremost, and when it intersects with other people, she'll help out as she sees best.

The Big Guy; a literal lightning bruiser who resolves every problem by finding a way to punch it.

The Smart Guy; a subtler instance because she's fairly inattentive to anything outside her very narrow range of focus, but when it comes to her areas of expertise, she puts things together faster than anyone else. The first to realize what was going on with Tynan, the first to understand Dainix, the first to track down Erin.

The Heart; not particularly observant, but when she's confronted with someone she recognizes to be in deep distress, she'll open her heart and "home" to them without hesitation. Also, makes friends ridiculously easily.

[tiredandoptimistic]

Crucial thing about Buffy Summers is that she would rather die than have a conversation. She doesn't want to get other people involved in her business if she can help it, and throughout the series we see her become increasingly self-reliant as she learns to trust in her own abilities as the Slayer. The downside to this is that it weakens her connection to her friends as she becomes convinced that they can't understand what she's going through. By the late seasons, Willow and Xander fit the same role relative to Buffy that Joyce did back in high school. To Buffy, it's not worth opening up to them if they'll never really get it. All she'd be doing is pushing her problems onto people who wouldn't be able to help. In addition, thanks to that self-reliance, she always thinks that she can solve everything on her own. She doesn't like to open up about her issues, meaning that her loved ones often don't find out that anything is wrong until it's too late for Buffy to handle it delicately. For instance, when Joyce finds out that Buffy is the Slayer in season two she has a lot of questions that Buffy doesn't have time to answer because the world is literally about to end. In a desperate attempt to keep Buffy from leaving Joyce threatens to kick her out of the house, which obviously wasn't something she should have said even though it wasn't sincere. By refusing to let her mother in on the details of her life until the last possible minute, Buffy put them both in a situation where she was forced to drop the information and run, leading her mother to hate the Slayer calling in season three. Joyce only gets a peak at Buffy's life when the supernatural gets so bad that it's completely out of Buffy's control, which leads to Joyce seeing Buffy's life as nothing but terrible. We see this especially with Angel. Buffy never tells Joyce anything about her relationship with Angel except for when he's evil and planning on killing her, which means that Joyce never trusts Angel even when he's a good guy genuinely trying to protect her.

Switching back to the late seasons; after Buffy comes back from the dead she feels unable to connect with anyone except Spike. She was obviously going through a whole depression in season six and I'm not going to say that she handled it wrong because frankly as long as she made it through alive she did everything right, but this lack of communication with her friends does cause some problems for her. We see in the musical episode Buffy is forced to finally tell the truth about what death was like and how depressed she's been feeling, and it absolutely crushes all of her friends. Not only does their friend find them responsible for her depression, but she also felt the need to lie to them about it because she thinks they'd rather see her as happy than honest. Buffy tries to protect her friends from her life rather than sharing it with them, so everyone ends up upset and isolated. For the next leg of the season she has the whole relationship with Spike going on that she doesn't tell anyone about, which once again means that no one finds out until it's so bad she can't control it. (This is paralleled with Willow's magic addiction in a way that's interesting but I'm not gonna talk about it right now). Xander gets angry at her for sleeping with Spike when we know he had a much more chill reaction back in season five when the Buffybot made everyone think Buffy was with Spike, showing that the circumstances of him finding out had a big impact on his reaction. If Buffy had been up front about the relationship rather than waiting for Spike to spill the beans mid-argument, her friends probably would have been more understanding. Instead, Xander only sees Spike as the guy who starts fights and tries to rape his friend. By season seven Xander and Dawn don't understand why Buffy wants to protect Spike, because she didn't want them to know about any of the relationship so they only got to see the worst of it. If she was willing to share the parts of Spike she found genuinely appealing, she wouldn't have been hiding the relationship in the first place. Instead, everyone else sees him as an irredeemable asshole and Buffy doesn't take their concerns seriously because she can take care of herself.

I think I'm running out of steam so this post is probably approaching its end, but yeah. I think it's super interesting how Buffy works on a "dude, just trust me" level, and you can see throughout the series that her bubble of trust shrinks dramatically. Her fundamental trait of not wanting to share her struggles stays consistent, but as she grows up and gains confidence and competence she ends up willing to let down her mask with fewer and fewer people. She's a uniquely powerful Slayer because of how she draws on the strength of her friends, but she hates that she has to do it and tries to lock them out of her life as soon as she reaches a point where she thinks she can handle it alone. Once things boil over she's always left with a situation that's far worse than if she'd just been upfront with everything, but despite that the people in her life still always support her unconditionally. Joyce welcomes her back into the house with open arms, Giles respects her renewed relationship with Angel, Xander agrees to let Spike live with him despite his concerns. Buffy has so much trouble accepting the love that constantly surrounds her, but it remains anyways.

[sharrrrt]

The grumpy cynical awful evil man and the little girl he totally definitely doesn't care about <3

Skarra and Dee headcanons below 🥺 and also a fic idea cuz I got carried away with ranting 💀

Dee definitely does bad stuff just because it's fun and that's why she went along with Skarra's scheming. But she also looks up to him in some way, otherwise why would she copy his look☝️ she would never admit that tho cuz it's cringe

Dee is a bully at school. Skarra tries to tell her off but he can't help laughing at some of the stuff she does 💀

Dee's parents travel a lot for their work so she's usually left with a hired caretaker

One time tho, Skarra was free to look after her and ever since then they usually leave her to stay at his place (Dee really liked hanging out with him and annoyed her parents to death about it)

Skarra hates how Dee's parents are and once he realized how often she's basically left alone he makes the most of their time together yayyyy healing his inner child

Skarra loves Dee's personality but he also doesn't want her to end up like him :(

They practice soccer together sometimes. Dee isn't seriously into it but she has fun learning tricks

Skarra would make fun of her fails and then pick her back up the very next second

God forbid Skarra leaves anyone in IU to look after Dee 💀💀 he caught her talking to Dooma once and the man was about to list his entire criminal record 😭

So Skarra definitely spoils her right. Like yea the pink buggy wasn't her style but that must have cost some pennies, and most importantly her custom jersey awwwwwww 🥺💕✨️ srsly if Skarra didn't care he wouldn't have spent a dime for her✋️

Next few are a continuation of this post which I MIGHT turn into a fic no promises:

Shakes helped a lost Dee find Skarra and once they found each other she kicked Shakes in the shins and they both laughed at him 🫶🥺

This happens on the same day as a game against IU so Shakes honestly thought it was a ploy to get him to miss it

Dee kept running around and being generally annoying so Shakes at his boiling point said "fuck it" and left Dee to wait by herself (remember this is the same guy that didn't give a damn about that kid in japan 💀☝️)

On his way to the stadium tho, he spots Skarra!!! Asking people around, looking for Dee!! He's missing the game to find his neice...who Shakes just abandoned...for the game...

He leads Skarra to Dee.

They have a nice reunion :) and figured at this point they can't make it to the game. No second-half surprise entrances this time!

This fic idea is basically my answer to what !should be! Shakes' biggest flaw and that is his unwillingness to compromise soccer for anything. Like in "beautiful gaming" as mentioned it gets to a point where it goes from admirably fighting for his dream to an unhealthy obsession that's a coverup for some deep-seated trauma and self-worth issues

The guy needs to get a life🙏