#which is SO bewildering to me
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one of the funniest things when you start studying theatre design (at our school anyway) is that u come in and for your first few scenography designs youre like im gonna use screens ,,,,, —and projection.... this is how i’m going to enhance the impact of my performance 🤯🧠💯 & then you go to theatre productions in which they use screens and projection & ur like All My Teachers Were Right This Sucks Severe Ass
#^so says guy who crucially is using screens in his concept rn#but its different bc the screen itself is the medium as opposed to enhancing theatre cause like the thing is#and this sounds fucking pretentious until you actually pay attn to it#but the thing is that when ur trying to balance screen/projection with live action ur projection is going to eat shit absolutely every time#nothing beats the tension of live theatre & if youre attempting to mix it too often it'll end up in comparison#(this is if you use the projection cut n dry i once saw a performance where the projection was done really well actually#but it wasnt so much a balance btwn the two things as it was like. certain scenes were a video the performer just danced along to#and it was more so about his individual experience vs the experience others have that he cant articulate on his own#it was rly fucking good it was called the history of the korean western theatre it was stellar)#but also like the thing i just left was an opera that used screens practically instead of doing anything on the stage#which is SO bewildering to me#there were a few more things wrong with it but the biggest thing to me was like#in these videos they were showing (during the performance of the scenes) it was basically the scene that was playing#except with an attempt at a real costume and somewhat more of an effort when it comes to proxemics#whereas on stage itself it was black clothes (not even interesting shapes) and people talking At each other#which not only does this become a really boring back drop for an even more boring live action part (which is nevertheless still more#compelling than the video) they were also speaking the lines in the videos just with the sound removed#so often it felt like you were watching out of sync videos#and also like even the costumes in the videos were boring as hell bc it was just patterns printed on top of fabric#which can work at times but not like this it was all so .... 2 dimensional but like quite literally#its not even that bad to be honest like ive seen far worse things its just a lot more egregious cause its unreal expensive and also doesnt#even seem to try#(+ im quite sure the director of this opera is my theatre history professor's dad & i am yelling & screaming imagining the family dinners)#(like all the actors were also white & it was the story of the indian queen which is abt mexico & peruvian incas & my prof is like. so#hyper socially aware this wouldnt ever ever ever fly with her#plus she's really creative & we saw a play by her last semester and its night & fucking day love)
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I was rereading second half of DN this weekend and I swear to god I can't believe anime just skipped this particular plot.
Bc a) Mello has more active part in story and actually had his own way of using Near b) those two kinda cooperating is sexy as hell c) more Mogi bc Mogi is amazing
(I really like the Polish translation of this moment "He is manipulated but not necessarily with he notebook" which imho has slightly different connotations)
Also, this fucker doing this I love him so much the little bastard
And this
(also Near and Light just hating each other so much is so so entertaining, like honestly their dynamic is 👌)
#Also I found kink meme over weekend so I'll have fun next weekend hoho#Death note#Perelka dot txt#Anyway like I love how L and Near are just so different in ways that matter like#It's hilarious when Light goes WELL YOU COUKD HAVE KILLED ME WITH NOTEBOKK BUT YOU'RE TOO SOFT TO BE LIKE L#And Near is like yeah I could have killed him but I won't bc it's not what L would do#And both just. Hate each other so much#Nvm the scenes in which they basically telepath while everyone else is bewildered lol#Srsly. Prime hateship
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I think I've gotten to the point where I'm just gonna not interact with or even block blogs that post v/3 fan art while aggressively and needlessly harping on it in the caption
#shut up me#Ive been in this fandom for like. 3 long years. At some point it starts to get a bit old#its New to Them which is fair and obviously its valid & important to talk about criticisms of the game#but I just find this specific genre of fan post bewildering#*beautiful fan art of a v/3 character* yeah so this game is absolute dogshit and the writers botched [X]'s character arc with no positives.#if you like this game fuck you dont interact with me (tagged using all main character and game tags)#like. um#I totally understand not liking it I think that is beyond valid in so many ways#but I just find it exhausting seeing it attached to every newbie's first dr post yknow#I can take self deprecation (it still sucks. let yourself enjoy things with nuance. its ok)#but complete aggression and pushing away the people who would like your fan art the most? I'm just confused. and tired of it#Please talk about your criticisms of the game. but why on a completely innocuous piece of fan art? that you are maintagging?#its also just basic fandom etiquette#cmon now. that is all
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sincerely fascinated by these guesses. when in my whole entire life have I expressed any particular interest in any of these guys
#my whole entire life AS AN OUTDOORSY KID AND ANIMAL LOVER#without anger or judgement just: [hand on my chin like I'm at an art museum] huh!#cougar is the one really getting me#Sloth and Dolphin are Popular Animals™ if you're just like. guessing animals that you've seen recently on funny tee shirts#cougar?????????#to be fair to my mom I've never had One Single Favorite Animal since outgrowing my huge dog phase in middle school#but also?? cougar???? have I ever even said the word 'cougar' out loud in earshot of my mom#they're not even in my top five big cats#I care for dolphins and sloths maybe less (I am so aggressively neutral on both but hard to resist the charm of any big cat)#but as discussed they're not totally out of pocket guesses for like. a young adult woman you've never met before fdkjhggfdkj#if you're just blindly suggesting Kitsch Animals you're not even gonna pull owls or dragonflies or moths or wolves??#again I'm not UPSET I'm just BEWILDERED#anyway I gotta figure out how to respond cause the real answer is 'I don't have one' which is unhelpful lmao#HUH. HUH. HM.#about me
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Happy Misfortune Monday! I’m here to curse you with a drawing by my sister.
#The Return of Buffrai#I was explaining the plot of TPiaG and she was looking up the official pokemon designs as I did so#she stopped me mid-sentence at one point and asked#‘WHY IS THAT ONE BUFF????’#to which I said ‘????????’#and she showed me a screenshot of Darkrai#I was still absolutely bewildered by what she was asking me#so she drew this to convey her point#pokémon darkrai#pokemon darkrai#darkrai#pmd darkrai#pokepark darkrai#pokemon meme#pokemon memes#pokemon#pokémon fandom#pokémon
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nothing to smile about in my life tbh
#got a job interview 😄 interviewer wants me to prepare a 7 minute presentation with no technology in front of a panel 😨#for a FIRST ROUND INTERVIEW#i’m so bewildered by this like 1. no technology??? 2. they want me to give it on their policies and resources which i literally don’t know#like i don’t work for you yet???? is that not what you would train me on?????#i literally work late every single day i don’t have time to go home and do fucking unpaid labor to MAYBE be hired
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think this is funny. anyway. the Thoughts are back at it again
#just me hi#doodles#reaction doodleys#Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Characterssssssssssssssssssss#[<- projecting things so hard it's experiencing Physical Effects] Lmao#what if . what if the. the. they. the. you know what i mean ??#LIKE. [stares over your shoulder]#head in hands. what am i supposed to do about this gbfhsbvhf#//btw how is it only a thursday lol#it should be friday. or saturday. the timing is long this week i think !#that's#//<- forgot what i was going to say lol; my previous tags popped up and i think that's fun hfbhvs :3#here they are:#that's crazy!#that's me!#that's insane#that's crazy#that's it#hfhbsfh - i seem to be regularly bewildered hfbvhsf#which. well yea lol#//oh yea guess who's halfway done with those refssssss :3#it's meeeeeeeeee :DD !! i'm almost done !! :D#i am enjoying it a bit more than i thought. the feeling of Have To is a real bog hgfsh#//speaking of bog guess who ALSO got their sleep thing figured out#i may just have busted sleeping habits lmao; staying up til 12-2 is actually so great#i wake up at a reasonable hour and don't feel like a mixture of cement and pop rocks got poured into my body and soul overnight hfbshfvh#plus sleeping in twos is working pretty well; stay up til an ungodly hour one night and then the second go to sleep at about 11 or 12#cuz then i can actually Sleep! it's working pretty well hfvhs :>>#//that and i'm figuring out how to drag myself through stuff w/o some outside force compelling me :33#frequent breaks help with morale (if i don't forget what i was doing while doing that lol) and 30 minute timers are a godsend fr fr fr
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AND in recovering from my ocd, i'm able to enjoy my interests and hobbies more fully! I collect perfume, for example, and when I'm not so fearfully focused on covering up any natural smell on my body, I'm able to appreciate the way my perfume accents my natural smells instead of smothering them! I've even gotten more compliments about how I smell since I relaxed a little on the cleaning.
#ive had like#3 uber drivers tell me i smell good#which is such a huge ego boost#the first time i met one of my online friends irl they told me in a very bewildered voice that i smell really nice#it makes me SO happy#and! since starting testosterone the way i smell has changed#so the perfume i use smells better with my skin too!#txt
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pathologic 2 ending dichotomy moodboard
#NICE DICHOTOMY IDIOT WHAT LIES OUTSIDE OF IT#so i finished 2 for the first time after playing thru classic and well... it was a let down#i could write a whole essay about why i was so disappointed w the ending#but imo the biggest strength of classics ending is its ABSOLUTE REFUSAL to explain itself.#did u make the right call??? idk heres a 20 second clip to leave u bewildered and doubting all your choices.#2 did not have that element of doubt for me it felt there was very much a “right” and “wrong” answer#which is hugely against the spirit of what makes pathologic such effective story telling imo#they were so mechanically different which destroys the ambiguity imo so yeah not thrilled#pathologic 2#patho crit
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I've been working more events lately and I keep getting paired with one specific medic and some of my other coworkers told me that it's bc he's an asshole and everyone else hates working with him and apparently all his attempts at being a jerk to me have flown right over my head and I've therefore had no complaints so that's why my supervisor keeps partnering us up 😂😭
#not snz#the way i was devastated too i was like 'wym he hates me i thought we were vibing'#one of the other medics says that he 'begrudgingly tolerates' me and honestly I'll take that#i don't work much tho like my sup calls me in maybe once or twice a month#which is great for me and i can say no#but when i do show up apparently the other emts are super happy#i just think it's funny that I've really just been like :3 whilst this man is trying his damnedest to bully me apparently#straight up vibing in the golf cart and this guy is seething lmao#i think I'm just used to how we talk to each other at the fire station so I'm just unfazed#but imagine how bewildered this dude must be#spends the better part of the shift trying to be an asshole for no reason to his coworker#just for said coworker to not even remotely understand that he's trying to be mean#also i bring food every shift bc if nothing else i was taught to feed the medics I'm work with#also i like feeding my coworkers#maybe that's why he tolerates me lmao#anyway I'm having a good time at all my various works lmao#especially my fire station bc most of our crews are out on fires#so I've been going in more to staff the place bc basically nobody is there rn#and I'm one of the most senior people who's not out on a fire#so if they send me out that means I'm in charge of a crew and idk how i feel about that#so hopefully it doesn't come to that but it's fun vibing at the station with the guys#anyway I'll delete this later this is just my work adventures lmao#partner posting
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saw a starfish on the beach today & was absolutely ENAMOURED - literally 3 of us were just squatting over this tide pool watching him move
#stream#omg i just remembered i was the last 1 to change / shower & i had just walked back from the cold ass shower thing to rinse off the salt &#punya came over & he was like ‘brother …’ & i was like what ? & he went 😏🫴#& i asked what do u want me to give u ?? ‘a cigarette u motherfucker’ ‘u know what i would love 1 TOO bitch but GUESS who smoked them ALL b#it WASNT ME !!!’ 😭😭😭😭 AKSJAKSKAKSKKSKSKAKSLSKSL#& NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE A VAPE BC OF THE FREAK BRIT THAT JUST WALKED OFF W IT#i’m still not upset abt it i’m more so just bewildered ? just shocked ? like i didn’t even care to try to get it back i was just like ok ?#i’m still shocked by it bc it’s just so#COMICAL ? LIKE ??? 😭😭😭😭 did neither of us speak english like 2 entirely different messages weren’t sent#LIKE ITS NOT A DISPOSABLE THIS IS A RECHARGABLE REFILLABLE VAPE#it was just 20£ & getting 2 disposables are also 20£ from the off license & i used literally like 80 ? 100ml ? in it ? so saved money#regardless but i did buy a pack of pods but 1 of the 3 that i used didn’t end up working & that was the third on it excluding the original#battery & those are 10£/pack so 30£ overall for what would equivalently be like idk probably around 10 of those 5k off license vapes which#would yea be 120quid so including the price of the vials themselves it’s 3-for-10£ used 5#so that’s 50£ bs 120£ even w the cost of a new device say + 30 that’s still only 3/4 of the price of what it would be using dispos which ar#cheaper than cigarettes REGARLESS#even the 30/120 that’s still u know literally a quarter of the cost it’s just a bigger upfront cost but it’s significantly cheaper long ter#STILL SAVING MONEY …. i say as if addiction isn’t inherently a waste of money but u see to that argument i budget it like food bc that’s ho#addiction works it’s just going to continue & ur going to include it in the budget as if it’s a PHYSICAL NECESSITY TO LIVE#to be fair sometimes it is lol like bro i couldn’t stop drinking w/o being in a hospital bc alcohol withdrawls can literally kill u#like my blood pressure was over 180 at 1 point when i was detoxing in hospital 😭😭😭😭😭#SCREAM#anyway#forget that#happy new year 2024.5 😍😍😍#my new year starts now fuck u the first half was just warm up#could i stop smoking if i wanted to ? yes ! will i ? absolutely fucking not !#IM ALLOWED THIS AS A TREAT#THAT I INHALE LIKE OXYGEN: CONSTANTLY
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1 - How it started.
Two weeks ago I walked up 'n over to my aunt, who lives next door to me and asked her if she had some knitting needles and wool to show me how to do it. When I get the urge to do something, I need to do it right now, it can't wait, I need to ride this wave - thankfully my aunt is very much the same so she took one look at me, got up from her seat and started rifling through her stuff to find what I asked for. She used to be an expert knitter, but her eyesight is poor these days so she doesn't bother with that anymore - she is also, as I figured out quickly, not all that good at explaining shit. But eh, we made it work. We are both very kinaesthetic oriented learners and for her this is easy-peasy muscle memory and I had to remind her I have no context no idea how to loop what and where and more importantly, my hands may have a lot of muscle memory on various tasks but not this, none of that. So she manipulated my hand a bit until I got the idea of how and bäm. Suddenly I was knitting.
Well. I tried my best. It was a learning curve, thankfully a steep one. See, she cast on ten loops for me and did the first two rows to get me started and I jumped in and somehow made that 13 loops. That was fun because she of course asked me how the hell and I had no answer because we were at the bare bones, how to increase was not even a topic yet so idk what I did there.
Next issue, which I was not really surprised by if I am honest, was the fact that I was knitting too tightly. See, as artist I have the issue of gripping my pens too tight, so tight in fact that I sometimes cut off the blood circulation in my fingers while I draw detailed linework. I have compression opera gloves to mitigate that issue a bit and keep my hands and arms protected while I try to unlearn this. I also started embroidery in autumn of 2022 and there I like to pull the thread tight to make the embroidery neat and even, so.. both of these things worked against me a wee bit. But I worked on this little test piece for like three days straight to get the movement into my system. To get my grip under control. To get a rhythm going. (To make sure I will not add any more loops to a row than those 13 because seriously where the fuck did they come from.)
I mostly tried to get even rows but in the beginning I made some waves between tight loops and trying to loosen them again but eventually it clicked with my hands what I wanted them to do in terms of pressure and pull. My aunt is a darling you know? She said, those knitting needles are shit for the wool she had at hand but it will do for now, good enough to learn at least. And then she ran an errand the very next day and gave me some bulky as hell soft wool that has like.. the same feels as those soft synthetic cuddly blankets you can buy almost everywhere, so, perfect for me. And my first own knitting needles to go with that. And I showed her my test piece and how I slowly get a hang of it and she nodded in approval and praised how even my rows are getting and that made my brain go brr.
And one day after I did go into the city and hit up the store next to the train station and went a bit wild on buying wool - which is a theme for the next couple of days to be honest. I bought a lot of wool because I really wanted to have everything in house when I go wild. And thus I started on my first real project. A scarf that is more like a shawl because I really really misjudged how broad the bulky soft wool makes the thing. But more on that later I guess <3
#heavyknitter speaks#knitting journal#fuck these 3 extra loops srsly how where and why#I already know how to do increases by the way and I still have no idea what I did on the test piece specifically to make them happen#also maybe worth mentioning. I knit continental style. thats how aunt taught me.#I was not aware that there were different styles until I saw a youtube tutorial that confused the fuck out of me#i was bewildered by looping the thread around the needles by hand#and then i saw another video where a nice old lady said “i'm doing this one in the continental style” and I went ohhhh now I understand#so yah anyway I do contintental#which suits me very well because I knit fast and love it#knitting#fiber arts#fiber crafts#craftblr#knitblr#knitters of tumblr
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Accidentally scared a dude outside the gym into thinking I summoned a hawk to attack him 😭
#I was too high to speak and was admiring a RTH that’d ended up right in front of me#then saw said dude outta the corner of my eyes as the bird crouched in anticipation of flight#tried to gesture that there was a hawk and he was directly in its flight path#ended up pointing at the bird and then jabbing my finger at him right as it took off 💀#he ducked in time so it was fine#but then my dumb ass opened my mouth and tried to say ‘it almost got ya’#but again I cannot stress enough that I was Not Sober so instead what came out was ‘I almost got ya’#cue his bewildered face as I spun around and walked away in shame at my social faux pas#which in hind sight might’ve come across as storming away#runon post
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okay the thing with the coast poll is that my tags were mostly joking cuz I do expect it to be a contest of where you've lived and I respect that so I'm not actually mad HOWEVER I saw some of the comments and as a person who has lived on both, I am thereby qualified to ask, IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE IS THE EAST COAST MORE TEMPERATE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEFINITION OF TEMPERATE.
#I lived in boston the winter of '15. do not fucking tell me that coast is TEMPERATE.#like yes you can comment that it's not as hot over there#(even tho imo higher temperatures are more tolerable on the west coast cuz it's lower humidity which is why it's better)#and also it used to be that it didn't even get hot enough that you needed a/c. MY PARENTS' HOUSE IN SOCAL STILL DOESN'T HAVE A/C.#but Y'ALL HAVE HURRICANES AND NOR'EASTERS. 'TEMPERATE' IS NOT ABOUT TEMPERATURE IT'S ABOUT STORM SEVERITY#we have SO FEW STORMS to the point that major storms COMPLETELY WRECK OUR INFRASTRUCTURE EVEN TO THE NORTHERNMOST POINT.#like this is also not about which coast is better I am just BEWILDERED BY HOW SOMEONE IS DEFINING TEMPERATE.#frankly wild too considering temperatures across the board are getting higher but the storms are getting WAY WORSE#BECAUSE OF THE TEMPERATURE INCREASES. CUZ THE WATER IS WARMING.#most new englanders I know like the east coast cuz they ENJOY the snow and are mad the snow patterns have changed.#anyway begging everyone to read more about climate change so you know how climates WORK TO BEGIN WITH
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In general, I hate how I look in photos, am uncomfortable getting my photo taken, and deeply resigned to, at best, tolerating photos of myself HOWEVER there is this one pic from the shoot Monday and I’m like. I want this fucker blown up big and framed on my wall. This shit fucking slaps
#it’s very ballerina project#but the ballerina in question is a very tired mediocre dancer in pain#rather than a gorgeous professional#but it’s legit so good#and the reds just pop#I’m a lil obsessed#which is rather vain and also bewildering#but hot damn#I’m not even doing anything cool in it#I’m just walking thru a crosswalk en pointe looking at the camera#like I’m judging them and their family back 8 generations#100% the look I give cars when I’m like ‘what r u gonna do hit me?’#personal#there are others I like too but this one I love
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on this episode of ivicky: my former high school enemy still seems to be vaguely into me but also obsessed w the idea of not ever admitting this to me or himself (?) until we're both dead
#i could be imagining it but a) several people ranging from my best friend to random strangers pick up on the weird tension#and b) im also a liar who lies to herself and i know delusion when i SEE IT. this is a common theme in our friendship#i think what it comes down to is that he does a lot of seemingly romantic things#but then refuses to say if its romantic but also very specifically refuses to say if its platonic#and like the thing is i dont care. i dont have feelings for him so i literally dont care lmfao#but it's bewildering to witness sometimes. is this what i look like from other peoples' perspectives? dear god#anyway hes taking me out for lunch again tomorrow! which btw he just mentioned he never does with anyone else ever. except for me.#literally inbetween other texts like it was a meaningless detail i didnt even get what he said until hours later#personal
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