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daily notes, march 8, 2023
A small chunk of counseling today was info-dumping about Elden Ring lore. Really, it was about the themes of death and rebirth, along with what overlaps with Bloodborne. I watched a video essay called “Visceral Femininity: A Bloodborne Video Essay”, and it got me thinking a lot. Like, imagine a video game that explores allegories and metaphors for fertility, menstruation, and how bodies are affected by puberty (not just afab bodies, too).
I briefly mentioned the stone baby (gross pics, sorry) of folklore and the recent medical case with a calcified fetus (CT scan shown). Forgot to revisit the story snippet I had about how a body rots to protect itself from assault. (Tumors had grown, and guardian spirit-creatures emerged. It’s grosser in-context; trying to phrase it politely for now.) ---------------
In other news, I have a new phase of food fixation: cottage cheese. Good with grapes, baby carrots, or chips. I treat it like a dipping sauce.
I woke up with anxiety-shakes today, after being over-stimulated Tuesday. (That was my first day back after February hibernation.) Tomorrow is library duty, filling in for my friend, so I plan to nap with Gustav.
#daily notes#lemme know if you've got game or movie recommendations for exploring those themes#like i know 'Ginger Snaps' is menstruation-as-werewolves allegory#which i'm also into
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Alright now this pissed me off
What do you MEAN you're going to remove one of the most important aspects of Sokka's character arc in the first season? What do you MEAN you're going to remove Sokka unlearning misogyny, accepting change and embracing his role as a fighter and protector of the Avatar in order to end the war? What do you MEAN???
#they're also going to apparently show the rise of the fire nation as well as the airnomad genocide#which; again; i'm conflicted on#atla#netflix atla#avatar the last airbender#avatar#sokka#atla live action#atla netflix#netflix
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Let the poor man rest.
#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever#and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed#he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death#second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gege akutami#my two cents#satosugu
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I'm absolutely obsessed with the book of bill, best thing i've ever read and it no joke gave me actual nightmares !! 100/10
#book of bill#gravity falls#gf#bill cipher#art#my art#digital art#artist on tumblr#this was supposed to be a simple fan art because i had to make something#and technically it only took 3 hours which is not much for me#and it's one of the best things ive ever made so i'm happy !#also mild spoiler ->->#but i tried to make it look both like him coming out of the book to getcha#and also like he's trapped into the book and is desperately trying to grasp on you to save him
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I agree that "in Germany your boss legally has to provide you with work while you're at your job" is a bit funny considering the German stereotype. But I am really annoyed at people who act like this is some horrible hypercapitalist thing on that post about pushing people out of their jobs by just not giving them anything to do. When really it's very basic worker protection (within the context of German emplyment law.) Because under most circumstances you can't just be fired from your job. Your employer has to provide a reason for firing you if they want to get rid of you. You also have a right to specifially the work you were hired to do.
So your boss having to give you appropriate work makes illegal any of the following:
a) Making you clean toilets instead of (or in addition to) the clearly defined office job you agreed to do
b) Not giving you work and then firing you for not doing your work
c) Waiting for you to crack under the intense boredom of having to stay on one place with absolutely nothing to do for eight hours a day while your coworkers are roped into it to shun you (or hate you because for some reason you're the only one who doesn't have to do any work) until you quit "voluntarily"
or d) waiting for you to crack under the aformentioned pressure until you do what the people in the notes said they'd do, like watching movies or doing a second job instead which is something you then can be reprimanded and fired for
#german blogging#german stuff#like law is complicated and i'm not an expert so don't treat this as a ~source~ or anything#but i'm annoyed by people not even considering there might be good reasons for things like this#also i have absolutely zero patience for making light of what's essentially quite an effective bullying tactic#which can really screw up your mental health
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Keep thinking about that one scene in secret life
#it was so silly i've had this visualised in my head for ages#actually sick of this comic now tho the colouring made me question tf I've been doing for 10 years#anyway#the sillies#not set on any of these designs btw and Scott isn't in his band outfit BC he isn't part of it yet in the series#which is the excuse I'm using bc I haven't solidified that design yet#tag time#secret life#life series#scott smajor#smajor1995#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#goodtimeswithscar#this probably the second comic I've ever finished ever so#IM LEARNING OK#fandumb fanart#ALSO ALSO guess where I got the death messages the
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The squad of all time has arrived on scene.
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#Cithis Ofri#Pattadol#Fleki#Lycion#Otta#Happy Canary Debut Day! These guys wont really get to be very present until the next season of Dungeon Meshi#But I can still be excited to see them animated!!!#Shout out to Pattadol - I also tend to occupy 'The Punchline' niche of the friendgroup.#The punchline differs from 'The Jester' who willingly absorbs the jokes. The punchline is often unwillingly the joke.#You are either the one no one likes or the well beloved little-sibiling-esque friend. Good luck figuring out which!#Yes it is canon that Otta is into Women. YES she dates younger women and dumps them when they age.#This isn't a fan made bit. It's real.#Dungeon Meshi has no romance but it does have canonically queer characters.#Shipping is fine and all but it is a running theme in the series than *everyone* who expresses romantic interest in someone -#-finds that love unrequited. Just something to be mindful of to measure your expectations of this series!#Ah! In other housekeeping notes; I'm going to *try* and add Alt Text to my dungeon meshi thurday posts going forwards.#I might not be able to do it day of but I will try to get it done within a week.
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He truly did.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#the gaang#sokka art#sokka fanart#atla sokka#sokka#sokka avatar the last airbender#sokka of the water tribe#kyoshi warriors#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi island#kyoshi warrior sokka#atla meme#incorrect quotes#Daniel Radcliffe you looked really nice in Fleur's outfit#As did Sokka in the Kyoshi Warriors uniform#Let him be pretty. He deserves it.#Also that handbag he bought in Gaoling would go really well with the uniform don't you think?#He loves shopping and putting together cute outfits and looking good. That's my boy.#Bi Sokka is my Sokka what are you talking about#He's pretty and he knows it ✨#Also can we all agree that everyone would look awesome as Kyoshi Warriors? Yes????#You know I'm lost when I start using Daniel's quotes for ATLA characters lmao#“And I was crying and I was in the bath” will come eventually. That line screams happy-go-lucky Aang and/or deadpan Zuko#Anyone would do#“We love Daniel but he's useless” is also *chef kiss*#Which character for that one tho?
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A little obsessed with the "utterly burnt out & can't quite figure out how to make it work in this economy" depiction of Mario in the concept art.
Look at him. He's so tired.
#You just want to give him a hug and a crisp 20$#Makes me wonder if they were planning on having Mario with a lot less self confidence at the beginning#which explains the ''Super Luigi Bros'' logo#It would've been a lil weird but I'm also kinda here for it#I'm rolling this around in my mind as an AU#Super Mario Bros#Mario Movie#Mario movie concept art
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Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :
Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources
Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)
Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women
Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women
Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)
Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)
Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community
Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS
Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough
Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media
Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards
Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories
Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")
And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue
Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)
#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos#And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here#and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here#And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives#Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite#2014 me would have. For sure.#This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr#James Somerton#hbomberguy#todd in the shadows#This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday#So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man#The call is coming from inside the house#The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere#And that somewhere was a tumblr post
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if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about
#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING#stranger things#platonic stobin#steddie#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#here we go again boys#i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like#nah i'm not gonna do it#maybe i'll anonymously write a fic#but no we're mombin posting on main#i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation#platonic co parents can be so so so personal#also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear#when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand#they have to know what kind of family they're coming into#cw pregnancy
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I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.
She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.
My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.
But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.
We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!
You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.
Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.
#her name was Kara which we joked about bc I came with my other friend named Kara and we were at the Kara-oke bar lol#i told her about how last time i was hit on at that same bar was ALSO by another woman named Kara#she said ''i need to find a man to transition right now so we can have more karas'' 🤣😭 she was so great lol#and I'm texting another friend named Kara right now😭 soon everyone will be Kara#transmisogyny tw#.bdo
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IMPORTANT: TUMBLR HAS MADE A DEAL WITH MIDJOURNEY/OPENAI.
YOUR ART AND IMAGES ON TUMBLR ARE BEING USED TO TRAIN AI MODELS.
The opt-in is automatic, but you can turn it off in settings.
Go to "Blog Settings" -> "Visibility" -> "Third-Party Sharing" and turn on "Prevent third-party sharing for [blog]". (This post shows how to do it on browser and on mobile.) You need to do this with every sideblog. (Note: The option in settings might not appear if your app hasn't updated yet. You can still opt out via browser.)
Spread the word. Everyone on Tumblr needs to know about this.
#>> mod: firefly#edited for clarification & to add instructions for turning off on mobile#disclaimer: yes i'm putting this in the transformers tags. this is important and artists need to know their work is being stolen#my apologies for the non-earthspark post (again) but this is fucking insane#i am so unbelievably angry. fuck ai and fuck tumblr for doing this#earthspark#transformers earthspark#transformers#tfes#tfe#tf earthspark#maccadam#edit: holy hell i think this breached containment a bit#which is good; people need to know about this#but also wow my notifications 0.0
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I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"
#did you know over half of deaths caused by tornados are residents of mobile homes?#which also means that they're primarily poor and elderly and disabled people#most places have absolutely no requirements for trailer parks to have safe shelter for residents during a tornado#personal tornado shelters cost $5000+ and many of them can't be installed in trailer parks because of neighborhood rules#and many parks are so isolated that going to find shelter somewhere else isn't safe or possible#it's safer to shelter inside a ditch outside than to stay in a mobile home during a tornado#and yet there's next to no effort to change laws to make trailer parks safer especially in emergencies#or even make other housing more accessible and available so people don't have to live in homes made of tissue paper#there's no tornado happening i'm just stressed
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