#which i would THINK would include adoptees but

[juxtaposed-nerd]

aapi heritage month headcanons pt. 3 !!!

just in time for s3 of dndads, let’s get into it! this one will probs be a lot but so much has happened in the past year 😭

- taylor LOVES chinese new year, he looks forward to it every year as the favorite (only) child and he eats all the dumplings he could ever eat and gets tons of red envelopes

- cassandra and morgan become best friends/mother-daughter relationship vibes post-doodler, like they are the most badass and cool women in the world and i do think taylor grows to love morgan so much and even though his relationships with nick/glenn are strained, at least he has the best mom and grandma

- as a voice actor for anime/cartoons i think cassandra really did fall in love w the art of anime and i’d love for her to guest at a con (make her the j michael tatum of her world PLEASE) and taylor gets a free ticket to weeb out as much as he wants <3

- in my heart glenn is trying his best, like he really wants that closeness (haha) and i think now post-doodler it's like literally what started as a father/son duo of him and nick now is genuinely a huge (kinda fucked up) family that is trying to mend itself and i do think it starts with chinese takeout !!!

- sidenote i think the close/foster/swifts etc are a great example of how freddie has subverted asian stereotypes fr and also how a family stuck in an absent/neglectful cycle has the ability to come together again

- the mending includes hermie too, hermie definitely deserves something more in his life and the chance get to be a kid w a home in the form of a big family w his bio dads (his normal parents are invited too) (and i also love the idea of normal being like 'grandpa henry! this is the guy!' and hermie being an honorary oak would be so cute 😭)

- hermie went and saw joy ride (2023) bc it was marketed as a comedy and came out bawling his eyes out from that one scene y’all adoptees know what im talking about

- tbh thinking about taylor's closeness w his mom and francis's w kimon wan literally asian moms are holding this show together

- the farnsworth’s are thai and german and they came to peachyville at a young age to give their newborn son a better life very starting nuclear family vibes, ed definitely learned thai for her, and now their son is a bowling champ!

- francis farnsworth and taylor swift are lowkey the spectrum of asian upbringing where it's like midwest asians vs socal asians 😳🤭 they live in different worlds

- kimon wan is an immigrant mom just trying to raise her family and her damn son wont stop being a loser 🤦‍♀️ literally milf w a shotgun (ed is a lucky man FR) (sorry anthony burch)

- when francis is having a really tough day then kimon wan will leave a plate of cut up fruit at his door so he knows he's still supported

- luo's golden wok is the first and only chinese restaurant in peachyville and they have to have the best pepper steak ever im calling it now

- tony collette would love and hate both jodie and glenn i think for different reasons but instead of calling them formosans he’d call them orientals 💀

- also tony collette is 0.0001% asian (chinese) and tyrus luo either DEFINITELY knows which is why he puts up w all the bullshit tony does or tony is determined to make sure that tyrus NEVER finds out ever

- they have a 'throwback' silent movie night at the drive-in and they show a meryl streep film and literally everyone falls in love w him 🥰

- billion millions was a crazy rich asian and he was an icon

- once again they mean the world to me! might end up posting more at some point who knows lol

-

checkout past headcanons: 2022! 2023!

[summerstrash]

someday I want marvel editorial to let quentin quire out of the closet because I think it would be extremely funny to have him just kind of go "you thought I was straight this whole time???" at someone, because, like, out of all of the currently "straight" male x-men characters, quentin is like, rachel levels of glass closet.

examples:

inspired to radicalism by the hate crime death of a fashion designer in conjunction with an identity-destabilizing revelation about himself.

has maintained a pink undercut/mohawk since 2003 and gives off exactly the same energy as the most insufferable white queer radical teen/20-something you know.

his legal human name is quintavius quirinius quire. you cannot tell me he didn't name himself that after transitioning at like, age 8, during a roman empire phase.

the only human male psychic we've seen as a destined, legitimate Phoenix vessel — a story role typically played by presumed-cis women from a specific bloodline

owned a speedo that put a radioactivity symbol over his junk

kept a reservoir dogs (the most homosexual tarantino movie) poster in his dorm room at the jgs

served as the first and only boy to ever hold the role of "wolverine's dykey teen protégé" (previous girls in the role include kate, jubilee, movies!rogue, and laura)

The now-defunct official JGS Twitter accounts included a tweet stating that Quentin tried out for the school cheer team in a skirt.

the sexy Phoenix nuns were intentionally not all girls, Jason Latour said that to my face with his human mouth.

his version of a Dark Phoenix Saga ("Tomorrow Never Learns") explored his relationships with evan and idie in ways that likened evan to new-mutant-rev!scott and clearly paralleled logan and idie, which, like [gestures]

When Evan and Idie take Teen Bobby to his first gay bar, Idie chalks up her confidence in the space to having dated Quentin.

Percy had him literally trying on bodies during a period where he was trying to find himself after a straight breakup, including female bodies.

the script for X-Men/Fantastic Four #1 included a reference to Quentin hanging out with Akihiro (notable undercut/Mohawk bisexual adoptee with wolverine-related Daddy issues) in the background

Like, I wouldn't be surprised if people at Marvel literally have forgotten he's not canonically explicitly queer yet. The vibes are just so powerful.

[ithebookhoarder]

Marc and Steven with a Murdock? Like Daredevil?? If you want, of course ❤️🖤

The Moon Boys with a Murdock!Reader

A/N: Of course I want to! 😆 I'm only sorry it took me so long to answer this. However, I seem to be on a roll today - I can't believe I've got two requests out?! Like, who even am I?

Masterlist

As you said with a Murdock, I’m going with a sibling vibe here which would be pretty adorable anyway as Matt would be such a good brother if he’d ever had the chance.

He would be incredibly close with you and take his role as your protector as seriously as he takes his role as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. 

You’re the only one he lets know his true self as you’ve been through everything he has. You’ve shared the happiest and saddest moments of your lives together and the bond it forged is as strong as vibranium.

It holds you both together, not matter what you go through or where you end up - including when you both end up at colleges on opposite sides of the country. 

You’re extremely careful to never let him pull too far away from you, even when he gets in one of his moods. In fact, you’re sure to turn up and let yourself in to his apartment when he goes too quiet and even Foggy can’t seem to pull him out of the darkness that haunts him. 

It’s why you don’t run away when the Moon Boys come crashing in to your lives. The chaos that seems to follow them and their fears that they are too much for you is honestly familiar. Every attempt to push you away only makes you draw nearer - first as a friend, later as something more. 

You’d probably meet Moon Knight first around New York. I mean, it's kind of hard not to come across him, given what Matt does and how chaos seems to find its way into your lives.

He'd be the latest adoptee into the Defenders / New York 'Avengers reject club' (your name for the gang, not theirs...) so you'd quickly end up involved in each other's lives.

You'd bond pretty quickly, once you get to know one another without the personas and danger. After all, I think Steven would be eager to find friends who aren't necessarily supers and just like to drink coffee, read novels and go to the dog park at the weekend.

He'd be super keen to get to know you. You're one of the only people who get what their life is like, but also have a foot in the real world.

You'd win over Marc later on, wearing him down with your positivity and unwavering optimism (and also Steven will not shut up about you).

You're not afraid of the darker parts of their world, and become a much needed safe space for Marc, once he lets his guard down.

For instance, you'd be great at patching him up - having had enough practise on Matt over the years. You're also used to having someone nocturnal in the house, coming and going at all hours of the night. Plus, you can obviously be trusted to keep a secret or two.

If anything, Marc's only reluctant to let you get close to him as he doesn't want to taint you. To ruin something so bright and wonderful by dragging you into his darkness.

If Matt's ok with putting you in danger, then that's up to him as your brother. You're family. But for Marc and Steven to do that? It's a line they're unwilling to cross... until you prove to them you aren't going anywhere. That you can handle yourself and that you're already in this mess anyway, so why shouldn't you both be happy?

From that moment on, there's no looking back for any of you. You're leaping in to this together head first, and soon enough you can't imagine life any other way.

Matt, however, can.

Let's be real, he wouldn’t be the biggest fan of Steven and Marc. In fact, he’d be pretty against your relationship the minute he finds out about it. 

One, because he thinks no one is worthy of you.

Two, because he hates the idea of you getting hurt or being in danger and being in a relationship with multiple people who all serve an ancient Egyptian deity as his personal vigilante is the very definition of dangerous. 

"I... I can't even begin to understand how you could possibly think this is a good idea? At all? He - they - are literally the puppets of an Egyptian god - a GOD, Y/N. You don't want to get in the middle of all that?"

You quickly remind him how he gave a similar speech to Karen when he found out about her and Frank Castle seeing each other, and that didn't work. Last time you checked, they're still blissfully in love.

"Besides, Matthew! You're the one who goes running around at night, getting in fights, wearing a glorified halloween costume. Like, I am the SANE sibling here. ALSO! Marc and Steven were forced into their situation. They didn't go looking for it like a crazy nut job. So, yeah. I think if anything, you don't have a leg to stand on here!"

Matt would be able to sense who was fronting the moment they appeared. He’d be able to recognise them from the way their heart is beating and their mannerisms the second they stepped through the door, which is helpful but also incredibly unsettling. 

Steven would brush it off, seeing it as Matt just being a kind brother to you. However, I think Marc would have more of a problem with Matt’s hostility, and enhanced senses. It puts him on edge to know they are being so closely scrutinised. 

They also have the same temperament so I can imagine there will be more than a few clashes in the beginning, their similar brusque natures making it hard for them to not bump heads. 

However, after Matt learns about Marc’s DID and his childhood trauma I think he’d be more sympathetic. After all, you both didn’t have the easiest childhood either. 

He also knows what it’s like to live with a condition that can make your life harder but also makes you unique. 

According to the comics, both of them are known to be good detectives and also keen boxers. I can totally see them building a reluctant respect for one another after they realise they have more in common than just their love for you. 

In fact, I know you’d have to pull them out of the ring after Marc agrees to a sparring match with the famous ‘Devil’. The pair of them would get a weird pleasure from trying to beat the other to a pulp - they don’t often find someone evenly matched to have a friendly bout or two with. 

At least it would once again prove to Matt that your boys could definitely take care of you if you ever needed it. 

Matt would definitely be sure to offer his legal advice whenever he’s concerned you both might be skating on thin ice with the law. Apparently, ‘I’m being controlled by an Ancient Egyptian God’ hasn’t ever been tried as a legal defence in the American justice system before… and Matt is oddly willing to try it. 

[your-local-crypt1d]

More WRA and Roseblings headcanons 🥀

Part 1!

Gem inherited her mothers' green eyes, whereas fWhip inherited his father's blue. After she transitioned, people would often say she looked just like their mother, to the point it was uncomfortable. Gem never knew her mother, she doesn't share the grief of her people (as much as she understands why they grieve, she finds it hard to sympathise), and being thrown mournful glances and overhearing hushed whispers of the late empress left a bitterness inside even if she knew it was illogical to be upset over it.

"What do you know of my mother? I did not even know my mother!" Has been a phrase Gem's regrettably snapped more times than she'd like privy

Just the complicated feelings/experiences children of a mother who died during childbirth having to deal with growing up, especially when that mother was such a beloved political figure as Grand Empress MelodiaRose of the Wither Rose Dynasty

All traditional Grimmish names are compounds. it stems from their language having a logographic writing system (e.g. Chinese), so it contains a separate glyph for each word or phrase. Traditionally, Grimmish parents choose two words and/or names and compound them together for their children.

As mentioned in the previous part, fwhips' name is a poor translation between mythic and common, and it means "someone who gets back up after being knocked down".

Gemini comes from the tradition of the firstborn heir being named after a constellation or celestial body, and then Tay is a synonym of May in Grimmish. May/Tay in Grimmish has to do with the rising sun, and it symbolises the heir being the rising Emperor of their nation. Not that that happens with Gem, though.

So Gem has a very similar name to her father (like John vs. Jack levels of similar) and looks almost identical to her mother.

Unlike in other empires, adoption in the Grimmish royal family means being included in the line of succession, and having the same rights to inheritance as blood-related children.

With a large portion of the population being non-human ("monsters"), monster hunters historically have been a very big problem for the residents of the Grimlands. The heads on spikes and towering walls are to keep the hunters out.

This leads to many orphaned children in the Grimlands and surrounding empires, especially orphaned vampire children since Vampires are fiercely protective of their young to their dying breaths. Adoption is a large part of Grimmish culture, and they take it very seriously.

Their foster system is the best in the realm, support workers for children in the system are highly regarded (in the same way soldiers and doctors are), and as mentioned, royal adoptees have the same legal rights to inheritance as their adopted siblings.

Hence why Sausage, an adopted child, was allowed to become king of Mythland when he had no blood ties to the royal lineage.

Speaking of, I think Sausage would make iron friendship bracelets for the other Wither Rose Alliance members. Pearls' has sunflowers carved into the metal and inlaid with yellow gems. Gems' has amethyst pendants in the shape of magical symbols. fWhips' is painted black with little spiked studs painted red.

Sausage has a lot of scars from growing up, and when asked about them he has a running joke of always coming up with inconsistent and elaborate lies on how he got them, fWhip is in on it too. He's told the same advisor three different stories about how he got the scar on his upper arm (a warden, falling down a cliffside, stabbed by an assassin). No one knows the real story except Sausage, not even his siblings, but that's just Sausage for you.

With the surplus of crops, especially wheat, in Gilded Helanthia, I think baking would be a very popular and cheap hobby. Also popularised by their Queen taking an interest in it. Pearl usually makes pastries, tarts, and breads which she'll bring to WRA meetings for taste testing.

Gem doesn't have traditional courtiers as most rulers do, she has a large family of Allays who live in her tower and do nice fae things like cleaning up and bringing her important documents. Only occasionally do they hide things from her, or take coins, but Gem finds it hard to be mad when they technically "work" for her unpaid. The Allays don't seem to mind, though.

Along with that, Copper Golems aren't an uncommon sight in the Grimlands and Pixandria, the copper supplied from the latter and the engineering from the former. The Copper Golems around Eastvale are what inspired a young fWhip to take up engineering in the first place.

And native to the northern regions of Gilded Helanthia and further up north into Mythland and the Codlands are Glares. Just to round it all out. I imagine the Glares around the swamp have the moss cloaks (like depicted in-game), whereas ones from Mythlandic dark oak forests lean towards liverwort and fungus, and the ones from the Plains of Gilded Helanthia coontails and vines.

[oncillabrigade]

I feel like I see a lot of fan authors/artists depicting Jason and Tim (and sometimes Steph) as unrelentingly mean to Damian in public, and that doesn't ring true to me. I haven't read the comics since before Damian was introduced (Wayne Family Adventures pulled me back in, and oh man there are fun DC comics these days!) so maybe I'm missing some canon examples of that... but I feel like every single child in that family gets how awful it is to be in the spotlight at a young age. They remember how awkward and exhausting it was to always smile for the camera, always be perfectly behaved, always uphold the ideal of what a Wayne adoptee should be. It didn't matter how you felt; you had to act the part. And they wouldn't make that harder for anyone.

Detailed thoughts below the fold!

Acting like a Perfect Wayne Kid™️ must be easier for Tim than for his siblings, because he was already playing that game as a Drake. But that doesn't mean it wasn't excruciating, especially for someone as introverted and wonderfully weird as Tim. Honestly, I think he'd be a mine of useful information for the later additions to the family!

I can see him at a charity dinner next to Cass, indicating which utensil comes next, murmuring, "I know, it's ridiculous. And there's no real reason, which makes it so hard to remember. But you're doing great." I can see him helping Duke practice the "right" laugh before a party: "Not too loud, not too real, not too many teeth showing. These people are terrified of genuine emotion, but in a shittier way than Bruce is." And I can most certainly see him talking Damian through how to leave a room when there are TOO. MANY. PEOPLE and the walls are closing in, showing him escape routes at different venues, explaining, "you don't want to use the bathroom excuse too many times in a row. People notice and tabloids start saying you have an eating disorder. I'll text you a list of alternate reasons to leave a conversation."

What I cannot see is Tim leaving anyone out to dry in the hell of high society. Even if Dami were driving him NUTS, I don't think Tim would call him a brat, insult him outright, or badmouth him to others. I think the worst thing he'd do is roll his eyes with humorous exaggeration and say, "okay, Damian, you've done your little brotherly duties--go talk to your friends, okay?" He could be SEETHING about a horrific fight 30 minutes before their appearance and play it off as, "haha, well, all brothers bug each other sometimes." And then he'd pivot, flawlessly, to a positive comment about the whole family, Dami included. Tim Drake, world champion of compartmentalization, fiercely loyal and kindhearted, is not giving the press a single bad word about his siblings. He is smiling and saying all the right things.

And then... then, there's Jason.

Jason understands, firsthand, how hard being inducted into the world of Perfect Wayne Behavior™️ is. Can you imagine Jason Peter Todd going through that? It's not just that he was in a new world, where money and food and clothes were a given, not a hard-won prize. It's not just that there were a million new rules to memorize (how to wear a suit, inscrutable dining etiquette, passive aggression instead of speaking your mind when angry, etc.). It's not just that he was suddenly thrust in the limelight at a young age, thrown in at the deep end of child stardom. It's not just that he was inevitably compared to Dick, who's naturally charismatic in a way that made his rambunctiousness forgivable by Gotham's elite. It's not just that he was simultaneously learning to be a Wayne AND a Robin, which was both mentally and physically exhausting.

No, it was all that PLUS who Jason was when he had just been adopted. Picture him: a kid from Crime Alley, recently out of a school for troubled youth, mourning the loss of his mother, and WAY too fucking smart not to see the condescension in the eyes of his new dad's peers. He was treading water constantly in every aspect of life, occasionally managing to float... all while the press and high society watched intently and judged him like he was swimming in the Olympics. Being Robin gave him magic, but god, he must have used so much of it up on just getting through public appearances.

I refuse to believe that someone who went through that would belittle or humiliate anyone doing the same. Especially when it comes to Damian. Damian, who comes from a world where physical prowess is the ultimate trump card, now trapped in a conversation where mentioning that prowess means he loses status. Damian, who knows the worst physical pain you can imagine and takes it as all in a day's work, struggling to contain his disdain for someone complaining about their tennis elbow. Damian, who was exposed to the worst aspects of humanity before he could form permanent memories, staring in disbelief at a kid his age saying the teacher who gave them an hour of detention is SO evil. Damian, who had mastered the rules of the League, discovering that the rules of Gotham high society are SO different that his prior knowledge is actively disadvantaging him.

I cannot imagine Jason seeing Damian as anything other than a fellow kid trapped in the pool with all eyes on him.

So Jason will do what he's always done: stand up for someone in need. Because Damian IS in need, no matter how much of a pain-in-the-ass he might be. That means Jay is telling the press about how smart Damian is, how good he is with animals, how proud the whole family is of his art. It means he's wearing suit pants with deep pockets so Damian's emotional support plushie is on hand at all times. It means he's using his bulk to clear the way to the balcony when the kid needs air and quiet. It means he's verbally eviscerating the posh knob who called Dami a brat, because NO ONE outside the family gets to say that shit about Jason fucking Todd's baby brother.

I don't care how annoyed they are with each other--bat kids hang together in the face of danger. And make no mistake: being a Perfect Wayne™️ is one of the most dangerous missions they face.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Do you think Billy and Tommy suffer from intergenerational trauma ? Also we never see Billy and Tommy interact with Max. If you could alter their origins what would you do ?

(You don’t have to answer all these questions sorry lol)

When we talk about intergenerational trauma, we are usually referring to trauma which persists in our cultural memories, or to trauma responses which become cyclical patterns in our families. One of the things that's really interesting about this family of characters is that none of them were raised by their birth parents or grew up with a complete knowledge of/relationship to their cultural heritage. This is slightly less true now for Wanda and Pietro, post-retcon, but my point is that the way these people have inherited intergenerational trauma is typically non-linear.

I tend to get in trouble for saying this, but I think that Billy and Tommy's reincarnation makes the most sense as a metaphor for interracial adoption. Specifically, their relationship to Wanda, their Romani heritage, and their family history maps fairly well to that experience. So, while the course of their lives has been impacted by the trauma of past generations in a very material way-- and there is something to be said for epigenetics-- they may not have internalized the Maximoff family's intergenerational trauma in the way that you're picturing. The nature of their existence and upbringing creates its own traumas and fractured identities, but a lot of what they've inherited is going manifest in the course of processing new information about their background as young adults-- not to mention the ramifications of being publicly known as Wanda's children in a post-Decimation world.

I am not an adoptee, so this is not my experience to speak on, and you can take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, but I am a person of mixed Romani heritage, and family separation and cultural disruption in the wake of WWII are big parts of my inherited trauma. That's part of why I find the Maximoffs-- Billy and Tommy included-- so relatable, because that's a specific form of cultural trauma that they have had to endure in every generation, and in ways that reflect multiple periods of Romani history. Part of why I like to really emphasize the fact that Billy and Tommy are Romani characters is because their positionality and way of arriving at Roma identity adds nuance and diversity to Romani representation. I think the spectrum of Romani cultural & ethnic identity is something that a lot of comic writers and fans just don't understand, but I think that digging in to how Billy, Tommy, and Luna relate to those identities would be a really good, organic way to have those conversations in the text and bring a more authentic understanding of the subject to readers. But you absolutely need a Romani writer to do it, and that's why they need to start hiring us!!!!!

I'd also like to point something out that I don't think anybody really talks about-- the current version of Wanda and Pietro's origin story and how they got their powers reflects the real history of human experimentation, reproductive rights violations, and child abductions that have plagued Romani communities for a long time, especially in mid-century Europe. Their "mutations" are a product of that violence, and the fact that Billy and Tommy inherited those mutations reflects the medical and genetic legacies of this racial trauma. This is presented in direct contrast and conversation with the Maximoffs' magical heritage as witches, which is is a racial stereotype that here is subverted as a positive, enduring legacy of cultural empowerment and survival.

Of course, the text itself does not fully commit to these ideas on paper, but my point is that when you have the knowledge and you're invested in how Romani people are imagined and portrayed in this world, it's a very rich text!!! I love comics and I love these characters! There's so much to talk about!

Since you did mention Magneto, I want to note that Wanda and Pietro's relationship to his & Magda's history and their inherited trauma is also non-linear, and has shifted several times based on retcons and varying character treatments. There's no doubt that they have a lot of baggage, but again, it's a situation where they didn't grow up as children of Holocaust survivors, so the way they process it might just be different. I certainly do think that the Holocaust and the war are part of their cultural memory, even if we don't know how much the Maximoffs were directly affected. Billy and Tommy are more removed from Magneto in this sense, but it should go without saying that one or both of them are Jewish and would already have a connection to that history through their foster/birth families.

[tommming]

Adoption analogy for trans gender identity

One of my favourite analogies for being transgender (and people should use this more in my opinion, I came up with it idk if anyone else did too) is adoption. (and I am aware that adoption in our society has some problematic issues in its current state, but that’s not the point, especially because humans throughout history and the world can and do adopt children).

When an adult adopts a child, and the child is happier and healthier because they have someone to care for them, and the parent and the child both like to refer to each other as mom/dad and son/daughter, would you deny the reality of this relationship or refuse to use the words mother/father son/daughter?

Some adoptions will be more visually obvious than others (like inter-ethnic), and this can lead to mean and invalidating comments and assumptions about the relationship. 

In adoption situations, it’s clear that the medical implications (genetic diseases etc) are not the same as biological parents and children. 

And some kids will at some point decide they want to call their adoptive parents “adoptive parents” and reconnect with their biological parents, and maybe have two sets of parents, and this is accepted, because parent can mean different things. 

Everyone (idk i’ve never met an adoption hater) accepts that this is all valid and in a sense real, because who counts as a parent or son/daughter is just words, and even if they usually have a concrete biological basis, it would be quite disrespectful and unhelpful to refuse to use the words to include adoptive parent/child relationships. 

As you can piece together I am sure, the visually obvious adoptees are analogous to visually obvious trans people, medical concerns are analogous, and different sets of parents is somewhat analogous to the somewhat nuanced way sex and gender all fit together (like someone can be male and nonbinary or whatever) and that whatever the adoptee kid says about their relationships is probably what others should accept, and just the whole thing is analogous! Especially it’s really the same type of thing: People accept the fact of adoption / gender as something that is socially and psychologically real despite lacking the biological basis that typically defines these things, largely because many of the important parts of what defines these words/concepts actually does apply to the situation, and importantly I would argue everyone is better off because of it! (better both because of the actual adoption / transition itself and because of the validating language and people being understanding of it).

You could argue that adoption reduces the resources available for real parents/children (parenting clinics, family therapy, family lawyers, etc.) You could argue that is degrades  and distorts the meaning of what a child is (so that immigrant parents wanting their children to be reconnected with them might have less legal leverage, or that after someone dies it’s no longer enough to be a biological child to inheret their stuff if they have no will, because being a child no longer has any real definition). You could even argue that it perpetuates unhelpful stereotypes about parent/child relationships (for example I know someone that had an abusive mother and is lowkey triggered when people talk about maternal love, and it’s not helpful at all for people to assume that everyone’s parents are nice and caring and present or even existent/known because so many children’s parents are not, or that parents are responsible and have rightful authority over children, which is a dangerous idea for children that are abused by their parents). But are these realistic concerns? Why or why not? I’m not saying this is exactly the same as gender issues, but it has similarities for sure.

I think these ideas are interesting and important and I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I really think this is a great analogy, and shows how I wish the world would be about transgender people (accepting and validating, even legally, without suspicious concerns and without any delusions or misconceptions about what’s real or not).

Furthermore, if you want to really get into it, both the idea of being a parent and the idea of being a woman or man have an interesting similarity, due to both of them being being complex concepts that involve biology and social relations and stereotypical characteristics and all kind of stuff. Someone who is a father to a child that died before the child was born, and left nothing for the kid (wasn’t married lets say), is a parent, and so is an adoptive father, notice how there is absolutely no single fact that these two dads have in common except for the identification as a father. I think this is very similar to a very masculine cis woman that is consistently mistaken for a man, lives a very masculine life generally, lets say perhaps has had medical issues with her hormones throughout life, and has no real attachment her gender because she is a gender studies professor and knows about how its all bullshit (I knew a professor that was a lot like this), and a trans woman, who is technically male, but passes effortlessly as a quite feminine woman and has since being a little child gravitated strongly towards girlhood and said she’s a girl, and grown up to take hormones etc., although not yet done bottom surgery (you probably are aware of this, but there are many trans women that fit this description). There is not a single fact that makes these people both women other than their identification as women. Both are quite atypical, but both have good reason be called women. 

This is why I think that gender is actually a circular definition. Men are men because they are considered men, women are women because they’re called women. Just like parents are parents because someone called them a parent. There are a million and one things that are typical of a man or woman or parent, but none are completely definitive (in my view), and that’s okay because they are just words and words are tools to understand the world. And likewise I think other complex concepts are probably like this too. Religions, languages, families, crimes, salads, idk! Trans women are women because we regard them as women.

[everydayesterday]

the CBC hit job on buffy sainte-marie is truly baffling. the claim is that, because her white parents' names are on her birth certificate, and because she has a younger sister from that same family, who is very much lily-white, she is not legitimately a member of the piapot first nation.

let me use a personal example showing the idiocy of this determination by the CBC. my son is black. once the adoption process went through, he was issued a new birth certificate showing my ex-wife and I as his legal birth parents. we are both white. it is quite obvious that we are not his birth parents, but that's what the birth certificate says (the original birth certificate showing his black parentage is sealed and unavailable except through court order; that how it works).

are you seeing where I'm going with this?

while no one would ever suggest that my ex and I are claiming our son is white, many in the first nations are "white-passing" (you can decide for yourself if you think buffy "passes").

she has always claimed that she doesn't know with certainty her true ancestry, and ultimately understood that she was adopted as an infant, tracing that back to saskatchewan (buffy says this is because her adoptive mother ultimately straight-up told her she was adopted from an unwed mother somewhere north of the piapot first nation).

the CBC also points to inconsistencies in how buffy's heritage was documented in the press, though they're not really inconsistencies. their investigation states that some referred to her as cree (the piapot nation is cree), algonquin (the anishinaabe language group that extends into the canadian prairies includes algonquin and oji-cree), or half-mi'kmaq (her adoptive mother, while white-passing, did actually claim connection to the mi'kmaq, so even that isn't inconsistent if that was before she knew about being adopted from saskatchewan).

claiming that her adoptive white parents *must* be her birth parents is erasure of that [possible/probable/whatever] first nations heritage; it's pure and simple racism (and if you're shocked by racism against the aboriginal community in canada, you're ignoring the country's entire history and present-day situation).

that she has a younger sister or a second cousin who know nothing of a possible connection to the piapot first nation doesn't really mean a damn thing—if buffy was raised as white, then that's all that her younger sister would've known; you can't blame buffy for her sister being kept in the dark.

all that the CBC investigation does is confirm what buffy sainte-marie has always said, which is that she doesn't know with certainty who her birth parents are, and provide yet another example of the mess that interracial adoptees face in figuring out their cultural heritage.

[also, regardless of her birth, she was adopted as an adult into the piapot first nation 60 years ago (they didn't have a problem doing so), which legitimates her status. she has spent her adult life connecting to that first nation and working to support aboriginal recognition and rights.]

[EDIT: Yes, it could be a big lie. I didn't feel that the evidence proved anything beyond a doubt, and to my knowledge her parents never actually denied her supposed Cree ancestry—Albert Santamaria died in 1998; Winifred in 2010. The information about the birth certificate hit home with me as an adoptive parent. I wouldn't understand her motivations if it is all a lie.]

[73chn1c0l0rr3v3l]

if you're willing to share, i'd love to hear your thoughts on adoption/found family/people being weird about it. the way things ended up in that episode felt kind of off to me and i'm still trying to put my finger on why.

I'm writing this with a headache, so please forgive if it is a bit meandering.

I'm also going to state up front I am not talking about the adoption industry & all of the shitty stuff involved in that - I'm talking about my own experiences as an adoptee.

First things first: people are Weird about adoption. There's this assumption that people are default genetically related to their family unless stated otherwise, there's the assumption that people will want to be connected to their blood family, there's this assumption that biological family is always the best answer. I think a lot of people have a lot of default assumptions about what family IS & what it means, & they get uncomfortable if you question them.

There are 2 adoption narratives - either your adopted family is horrible & you find your biological family & stuff is Better, or you leave your horrible biological family to get adopted into a family that is Better. There's nothing for "i won't ever have access to the biological family, & I don't entirely relate to my adopted family either," or "my biological family loves me but I can't be in their lives because our values are too different but I don't actually like my adopted family but they're who I grew up with" or even the very succinct "they both suck, okay?" There's a huge variety of experience, & I feel like a lot of the nuance gets lost on people who don't relate for whatever reason.

It's one reason the Timeless Child resonated with me so hard? Because yeah, sometimes you don't know who you might have been & you mourn it, but you can't be anyone but the society that raised you. On a more personal level... well, Tecteun very intensely reminded me of my mother, & I was rewatching Flux (including That part) the night she died & uh... certain parts of that sure were familiar.

It's really frustrating as someone who is currently sorting through some VERY complicated family feelings - my mother (my actual mother, the mother who raised me) died in September. My father - the man I grew up with - died in 2012. I haven't heard from most of my family since then - I didn't hear from most of my family when my mother was dying, which happened over months. I haven't heard from my father's family in more than a decade at this point. They were not there when I was suffering as a kid, they were not there when I needed support as a teenager, they were not there when I was coming into myself as a young adult. Family to me isn't a thing that you WANT, because what's the point of it? I understand it's a different thing for other people, but these things are never one size fits all, & I resent them being treated as such.

If you came up to me & said "you can travel with the Doctor through time & space & you get a SPACE DAD or a SPACE MOM" I would run very fast in the other direction. I've got parents. Depending on how you look at it, I've got more than the usual set that most folks have. I don't want a replacement or an additional parent - I want to grieve the ones I have, untangle the feelings I've got about them. I want people in my life who care about me, who I care about - friends, lovers, mentors, partners, & all those other relationships that you don't have names for. I like it when things don't slot into place neatly.

Which leads me to my issues with found family as a trope. My main issue with it is that it treats the whole thing as very... one size fits all. That everyone *wants* to be part of a family with a mom & a dad & a grandmother & kids. Versus wanting to be in a polycule, wanting to be in a friend group, wanting to be part of a community. I feel like with the ending of the Giggle, it was slotting the Doctor (& Mel) in the parts of a traditional family - they're the aunt & the uncle now! Not blood related, but still having a designated Place. Which possibly ties in to people being weird about adoption, since merely being Not Blood Related somehow makes it different.

I am, admittedly, also allergic to labels. My only label irt my sexuality is queer, I do not have a gender, I have stepped off the various spectrums & am just... me. What I like about the Doctor & their relationships is that most of the time they're in that same grey area? Is the Doctor Sarah Jane's lover? Her best friend? Her avuncular old uncle figure? Her mentor? They all apply to varying degrees, but they're all also valid, & I love that.

I could also talk about my SPECIFIC issues with how it was done in the giggle, but most of that comes down to taste, & we all know that varies from person to person to a much greater degree.

I am also not telling off people who do like found family & those dynamics- I'm really glad there's so much space for so many interpretations! I'm really glad there are so many different enjoyments to be had!

... I'm not sure if all of this entirely made sense, but thank you for letting me ramble a bit.

[blackjackkent]

Jaheira does not volunteer an explanation for the little girl's behavior, but Hector almost immediately starts to formulate some theories, especially since he can hear the little girl talking with another voice inside the building.

"She'll be here. Any second. Maybe she's sneaking." "Doubtful - we'd hear her knees cracking."

"Enough, Fig. There's no point getting your hopes up. She'll be back when she's back." "You don't think she will." "I know she will. But we can wait a little longer, if you like."

"I saw her, I swear!" "Are you sure? Maybe it was just a laborer hauling a shaggy grey mop." "Be serious, Rion. Who puts braids on a mop?"

Hector swallows the urge to smile. Whoever these people are, they know Jaheira. They have been waiting for her to return from the shadowlands. This is going to be a reunion.

He looks at her sideways as they step through the door, but her expression is utterly still, entirely unreadable. She only speaks as they reach the center of the living room and the arranged figures standing there (Fig included) turn towards them.

"Oh, Malar's mark... here we go," she says, and a rueful smile flickers onto her face.

It's a rather motley crowd arranged to receive her. Fig and another girl about her age stand by the side of a young elven woman with dark hair wearing a greathammer on her back and polished leather armor. Next to her is a hulking half-orc fellow with bright pink hair. All of them look more than a little surprised.

"Are we quite sure she hasn't actually died this time, brother?" the elf says with jocular humor, lounging back on her heels and looking at the orc. "She *looks* dead."

"Smells it, too," the orc grunts.

Jaheira snorts. "It has been a hard road," she says with something between amusement and indignation. "But I can clip you both around the ear to prove I am no ghost, if it would help!"

The woman grins sardonically. "Forgive us, mother. We're just surprised you know how to find your way home."

Hector's eyebrows shoot to his hairline and his mouth drops open. "Mother? Jaheira, these are your children?!"

Adoptees, certainly, unless Jaheira casts her net far wider than he would have ever taken her for. He finds himself deeply touched to picture the actions that would have led to this diverse bunch calling themselves siblings. Jaheira has a more sentimental streak than she would ever actively admit.

"She always brings the smartest people home, too," the woman says dryly.

"Enough, Rion," says Jaheira, suddenly sharp. "I taught you better manners than that."

"No, you didn't," the orc mumbles, sotto voce.

Rion rolls her eyes. "A sending spell can carry twenty-five words. Do you know how many Jaheira's only message contained, in all this time she's been away? Seven."

Hector winces. OK, maybe Jaheira's not *that* sentimental, he thinks wryly.

"This... really isn't any of my business," he says awkwardly, rubbing his jaw with one hand.

Rion laughs, a shade bitterly. "Hah. Now there is a phrase Jaheira has never uttered. But no." A slight pause. "The message went, 'I'm sorry. You know what to do.'"

"So why haven't you done it?" Jaheira interjects with visible agitation. "You were supposed to get the young ones out of the city!"

"And you were supposed to be dead," Rion fires back without missing a beat. "That's what your oh-so-stoic message meant, yes?" Her voice softens almost imperceptibly, and Hector can hear the thread of anxiety underneath it. "Yet here you are. So... what happened out there?"

Jaheira frowns, then jerks her head to indicate Hector. "I got my skin saved by this one. We've come to take the fight to the cult - which is *exactly* why you all cannot be here."

The woman juts her jaw out stubbornly. "Why? You plan on winning, don't you?" She turns in Hector's direction, lifts an eyebrow at him - in a way that reminds him very much of Jaheira indeed. "You're the one who saved her, so tell me. Are we all doomed?"

Hector folds his arms and looks back at her steadily. "The cult is powerful," he says. "It's not going to be an easy fight."

"So fight," Rion says sharply. "That's what all you heroes and Harpers are for, isn't it?"

Jaheira sighs. "You are a very irritating girl," she deadpans.

"Ah-ah--" Rion wags a finger at her. "This isn't your house, remember? You'll keep a civil tongue under our roof - *if* we let you stay at all."

"Have mercy, sister," the orc puts in. "She's old after all."

"SOOOOOO old," one of the little girls says with a giggle.

"She can stay," Fig declares. "But only if she brought home *presents.*"

Rion laughs softly, though without much humor. "Seems I'm out-voted. See, mother? That is how you go about talking things through with your family." She shakes her head, looks at the others of the group with some skepticism, then shrugs. "Now, if there's more to discuss, then bloody well come in. And wipe your boots."

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

The King and the Collector

(yes thats a play off the amphibia episode title) (also s2e2 spoilers)

by now I think we can all agree that the Collector isn't a villain per say, like he's an antagonist since he opposes Eda's adoptees, but he's really just a traumatized child. A point solidified in the "corrected" book scene when King was reading to him.

but another thing this scene solidified for me was how similar King and the Collector are, especially towards the beginning of the show. King starts the show as self-centered and immature, with little to no regard for others, which makes sense since he's canonically 8. He grows into a much more well rounded character through his interactions with Luz, who's happy-go-lucky vibes clearly start rubbing off on him (and basically everyone)

During a season 1 carnival episode, King gets jealous and almost territorial of Luz when she wants to hang out with Gus and Willow. Now yeah, Luz isn't perfect, and probably could have treated King better, but she does make an effort to include him in the shenanigans. Her effort isn't enough for him though, and King ends up shrinking Gus and Willow and lying to Luz about what happened.

During For the Future, the Collector is feeling pretty similarly, acting in ownership of King and just the idea of Luz coming back into his life is a big no-no, and it's this fear that makes them so susceptible to Belos's manipulation.

All this is to say that King would have been in the same boat if it wasn't for his time with Eda and Luz. The Collector is the dark parallel of what would have happened to King if he hadn't been rescued by Eda. If he had stayed on that island, without contact with the outside world, he would never have developed his personality, he was shaped by both the people he befriended and antagonized. Hell, he might have been taken by Belos and be an ally to the Collector from the beginning.

The Collector didn't get this luxury, all he got was Belos. We may not know that much about their background, but it seems like the Collector has been alone for a very long time, and he certainly doesn't have the social skills King was able to develop.

In conclusion: the Collector should be adopted by the ever growing team of Eda's adoptees

[foster-the-world]

Adoption is (slowly) happening

In December baby boys Mom appeared again. We haven't seen her in person in 2.5 years. Only on a zoom court call one time. She surrendered her rights directly to us at the TPR trial. It was all on zoom but she was very sweet. She thanked us and talked about how much she loves him. She asked for a conditional surrender. We signed to monthly visits and 2x picture check ins a month. We are more then happy to do all of that stuff. The more he can see her the better. We've never felt she was unsafe - only unavailable. She notarized the form and showed up to both zoom dates. We sent some text messages back and forth during the holidays. Then she stopped responding. So sad. I hope she comes back around someday but fear it will be a different phone and she didn't keep our numbers.

Its a relief to have the surrender directly to us. As far as we've been told he doesn't have any family available but its nice not to have to worry about someone coming forth now that he is free for adoption. I know some people think even after being with us for 2.5 years if a stable family member is available he should go to them. With the exception of his parents if they improved, I don't agree. Would I do anything for him, including giving him up if it was best for him = yes. Is there a chance unconsciously I'm just convincing myself with us is best because its best for me = also, yes. Either way there is not another option so with us he stays forever. Its certainly where he feels at home. We've got a new lawyer, new caseworker, new home study person. Lots of visits over the last couple of weeks. I think they are going to double his base rate. We did not ask for it but will take it. It will nice to have the padding if we need it for his OT or whatever comes forward in the future. Even the base rate was increased by $500 per month in the last few months due to some lawsuit. The money aspect feels odd but I'm not above taking things for my kids. We certainly spend more then they give us on each kid - as we should. Nothing is confirmed about the increase - so we will see. They are telling us adoption should be May/June. It will be over zoom. Which is anti-climatic but I don't care. As long as it gets done.

Have to decide if we will invite friends to log on. Seems kind of nice but also don't want to ignore adult adoptees who don't like making it a celebration. For me, the TPR was the sad day to acknowledge everything he has loss. I'm sure that will be an ongoing loss process. Adoption does feel more like a celebration but don't want to ignore his possible negative feelings in the future. We will think about it. For Bee we had our parents at the courthouse. One set of friends came to the restaurant afterward. It was a lovely day. My husband's Birthday, actually. Not sure baby boy's going to be willing to sit in front of the camera. Maybe will give him a lollipop and strap him in his high chair. We also need to think/finalize a middle name.

[pizzapasta23045]

What are some of your favorite hcs from your fic? I thought yhe subcultue things are interesting -🌵

Everything. Like legit just everything is my favorite hc.

I have thought about for... So long... It was insane.

One thing though, I suppose it's a sneak peak, is like the autism joke, that's something that I loved writing. It's there in the first chapter and it will appear again if I manage to write anymore but there's, like, a whole story behind it and shit.

Also, it has my good ol' Kaeya intrusive thoughts agenda lmao, which is one of my favorite HCS in general.

Unfortunately couldn't find a modern au justification for the curse though (apart from Celestia poisoning the water supply which is... Very much a warcrime and reallyyyy bad and I didn't feel comfortable writing) so I didn't manage to include chronically ill Kaeya. Also did not hit when I started writing and I'd have to radically change parts of the story and shitso that's in my pockets for now.

The subculture thing was cool and I loved writing it because it's interesting to me to imagine how fashion would be in specific counties. Also helped me with the whole dicotomy thing Kaeya has in his design, (haven't mentioned it yet but it's a thing!!!) since that way he can dress in part in a fashion style i don't think (?) I've introduced yet (it's called fae style and shit, Khaenri'ahn subculture popular among the middle class and very common in bastard children and adoptees) and the religious trauma fashion style in Mondstadt (so he's still got both in his design aspect)

I could go for hours... Like seriously I could...

[truemetis]

I suspect modern anti-adoption sentiment has a lot to do with this. In modern times you're adopted if something bad happens, your parents died or were abusive. In the past it happened to all sorts of reasons, including stuff like learning a trade, a process that could take a lifetime of work so it wasn't uncommon for you to join the family you were learning from in some cultures. Such a thing would be a very happy occasion as you've basically secured your child's future.

So yeah, I think the negatives around the circumstances of modern adoption lead to negative connotations around adoption itself, which in turn I think in real life may lead to the actual negatives that come from adoption, IE being blindsided when an adoptee finds out they are adopted, feeling like it's something that needs to be hidden in the first place, the sense of a lack of belonging some adoptees report, etc.

 can we change the headcanon about families giving children to the jedi from a sad one to a happy one? because discovering that your child is going to be a part of a revered order that bring peace to the galaxy would be an honor for most families… poor families would think that their kid is going to the capital planet of the galaxy to be educated and raised by the religious elite of the galaxy is something to be happy about, not to mourn. 

and I don’t think that the jedi forbid any comunication… if a family wants news and asks the jedi to send them pictures and news about their kid, will definitely receive them

if the kid wants to know his origin, they can

it’s nothing special, it’s just another addition to the family for the jedi and something to be proud for most of the families, your special kid can grow with people who can help them to learn their special abilities and be happy

[aahsokaatano]

hello! I love your work with the Soft Wars EU (16 is canon to me now). do you think kix ever mentioned also being a CC adoptee or did he and rex like. run in to each other while visiting 16&17's house?

also just wanted to say how i particularly like the ways the alphas' naming culture is subtly distinct from the CCs/CTs in how they use their numbers or different names/nicknames with different people (like 44/medix/meds) that go beyond the normal -ika type nicknames! (which inspired the headcanon that fordo(a-77) and 17 both go by Sev when in the same room/conversation specifically to confuse people lol)

- redbean-nom

Thank you so much! 16 is actually @ninjatwins's OC, but I'm very thankful that I was allowed to include him in 44's backstory!

Regarding Kix, I think he was quieter about being a CC adoptee compared to Rex and Keeli haha but he never tried to hide it. That would have been pretty difficult anyways, since Brix is both his ori'vod and the 212th CMO in my world! So Rex knew about it long before the Vode went Home 😄

The idea of 17 and Fordo both going by Sev to fuck with people is VERY funny to me, especially since that is a canon character in... one of the video games or book series I think? I am not the most widely versed in those areas of SW media lol but I'm like 95% sure that there's a canon clone named Sev that I've seen people talking about haha

[umhuhwellthen]

Me: I am going to work on Single Dads and Fake Marriage AUs

Evil Me: oh so we're making fankids?

Me: what? NO! I'm finishing FM AU art wips and either ch 2 or a one shot for SD!

Evil: gotcha, timeline for Usatello Single Dads AU, research yokai, amphibians and birds of Japan, rabbit breeds and size of litter to roll die on how many kids the couples will have, look up kanji for names...

Me: no, No, NOOOOOOOOOO

This image contains the Usatello kids planning but the back of the papers has TomoSagiMariKen kid plannings and Next Gen AU stuff

I used a dice roller and random name picker to choose how many kids, what bio parents(for UY Fake Marriage AU), what gender, species the kids are, then for their names

Fake Marriage AU;

TomoSagi Kid, either a cat or rabbit, leaning towards cat, son, either has fur pattern/coloring like Swiss Fox or Tan Rabbit, Swiss Fox because i made Tomoe a Somali Cat which are called Fox Cats sometimes and Tan because of Tomoe's pretty fur colors.

MariKen Kids, plural, son and daughter, hija has Kenichi head, eyes, and ears, Mariko hair, eye shape and nose. Hijo has Kenichi eye shape, nose, chin, Mariko's face, ears and eyes. Haven't decided which kid yet but one will have Himalayan or Californian fur pattern and the other piebald/broken fur pattern

Oh I should also mention that my evil genius brain had me researching Renaissance artists and artists of art movements that came after the Renaissance AND Surrealism because Frida Kahlo was considered part of that art movement and there was word that the Rise!Turtles missing sister would have had that name

Usatello Single Dads AU

Waffling between artist names, Japanese names, or flower names(Usagi likes nature and Donnie has a passion for botany; still has a theme to follow but it isn't artist name this time)

Random name picker rmy beloved/beloathd

So I always had plans for turtle/rabbit hybrid because heheh fusion go brrr, particularly a daughter that's named after Inazuma's 'dead' name Tomiko

And then I saw @/quartergremlin had the galaxy brain idea of including PSDD as one of Donnie's kids and redesigning it so I rolled a die for how many kids, then put in all bio, all adoptees, psdd and bio, psdd and adoptees

P.S.D.D and adoptees won, so then I went to yokai.com to see what they got to get the ideas flowing, put birds I was thinking of making ocs with and basing Rise! Karasu-tengu off of

Ended up with a hane-no-haeta kappa kid and a Daruma Pond Frog kid, adopted son and daughter respectively

Usagi came across the kappa boy on one of his misadventures and Donnie came across the frog girl in the Hidden City

P.S.D.D uses ve/vir/vis pronouns (because it sounds a lil like virus which ve finds hilarious)

D.D.'s design is based off of Don's fantasy mech from Down With The Sickness and tmnt 2012&2003 Fugitoid

But then I got attached to the flower names, especially the poisonous ones so Middle Name Time!!!

Tomiko Amaryllis Hamato-Miyamoto (iiii don't think amaryllis were in my poisonous list but they were in my Victorian era/hanakotoba flower language list I think)

Shigeru Larkspur Hamato-Miyamoto (the kappa child, Shigeru is made up of either the kanji for Rabbit[ie Usagi] or lapis lazuli and something else i can't remember off the top of my head)

{Mountain} Laurel Koyuki Hamato-Miyamoto (Donnie named her because He's Extra, and she didn't have a name as an orphan street rat, lil iffy about her middle name, thinking of keeping the flower middle name thing but Shelldon/P.S.D.D/Jotaro dont have one and her name is ks already a flower sooooo...)

D.D. and Tomiko have already been designed and have color palettes everyone else is still in the works...