#which has a masc presenting nb :)

[strawbubbysugar]

i wanna follow this up with i dont want you or anyone to think im asking you to rewrite the 50+ chapters you have to make it as androgynous as possible just to accommodate for me,,, its just something i wanted to say for other people who were also potentially a little put off (? if thats the right word? i dont want to sound mean 😭) by the traditionally feminine way the reader is written when expecting a complete gender neutral reader, WHICH AGAIN IS NOT BAD!!! for a trans man like me its just hard to read fanfics with a feminine presenting reader ^^' but this is Your fanfic ykyk im just yapping away a lil opinion and askin questions

Is there a tag I can use on ao3 to clarify that it’s a femme presenting y/n? I don’t want anybody to be made to feel uncomfortable!

[gladiatorcunt]

and if i said uraume is a femboy in the sense that they’re trans masc leaning but his boy pussy game is off the charts

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not giving my grandmother's wedding veil for my(38F) lesbian sister (27F)'s wedding? 👵👰‍♀️🤵‍♀️

Grandma was … a complicated woman. She lived through horrific traumatic events and protected her children through them. She was hard to those she loved but could also be generous and caring. Think Encanto's grandmother. Not a sweet good old grandmother but not a monster either.

Gran was also homophobic, which is shitty and can't be excused.

She died when my little sis was 7. I specifically asked her and Sis has no memories of gran saying bigoted things in front of her. My sister hated gran as a kid because gran was very strict, and her an undiagnosed ADHD child. Now, she hates her because she was bigoted.

I am the executor of my grandmother's will and I am holding onto money and family heirlooms she intended her descendants to have on specific life event (wedding, first child, diploma, …)

Everyone is aware of gran's conditions. Gran worded the wedding conditions as "the union of a man and a woman in front of God at church X". It was made specifically to exclude her potential queer children/grandchildren. (My gran was not aware of any queer descendant in the family before her death)

I think it's bullshit and told everyone they will receive their milestone inheritance no matter who they marry and who they marry as (I have a young nb cousin). I won't care if they go to gran's church either. I worked with an attorney on my own dime to make everything right.

Sis is getting married and wants my grandmother's wedding veil. It's a pretty lace piece gran crocheted herself. Every daughter of the family is allowed to borrowed the veil and wear it for their wedding if they wish. Gran specifically forbade the bride of the sons of the family to wear it. It's a daughter's thing. Before her death, 2 aunts wore it, my mom didn't. Now, that I am the veil's guardian, only 1 female cousin out of 4 decided to wear the veil, so it's not a big family tradition, but a possibility. I was close to gran for example, and didn't wore it (she raised me as a child before sis was born when my parents lived through important health problems)

My sister wants the veil, not for herself (she is more masc presenting and will wear a very nice white suit) but for her bride. Which is a first problem for me because it goes against the " no bride, only family" rule (which I think is dumb but not unheard of, nor specifically oppressive)

I asked my sister why she wanted the veil. Was it because she wants to feel close to Gran and her heritage on her big day ? I was open to consider it. I could also lend her other pieces from Gran or our common heritage.

But no… Sis wants it specifically to spite Gran. She knows Gran would not have approved of her wedding. She is ecstatic thinking Gran will be rolling in her grave if she knew for her "precious stupid ugly veil".

I put my foot down. I think her wedding is an event to celebrate her love for her partner, not an occasion to hate on a grandma she barely remember.

She says gay wedding will always be both : a celebration of love and a fuck you to homophobes. She calls me an homophobic asshole, am I ?

(I am straight and cis if it changes anything...)

[v-anrouge]

why do you hate transfem vil so much? can't you just like separate the art from the headcannons and enjoy it without thinking about it. I don't really have any headcannons but I think transfem vil is just as valid as transmac or nb or gender fluid vil (maybe it's just because I don't have any strong headcannons but idk I think all versions of a character are okay)

ill try to be as nice as possible wording this but im bad at wording things so my apologies if this still comes out aggressive sounding or something

transfem vil is a harmful hc. that's it, there's no going around it there's nothing to defend it because transfem/woman vil isn't like the the other transfem hcs for twst, his was created solely because people saw vil; a man, who acts and dresses in a "feminine way" and went "yeah okay that's a woman!" and they just kept pushing and pushing it. see from here there's nothing too bad you might think (personally; i still dislike hcs like this, but it's not like how i dislike transfem vil) the problem here lies because vil is anti gender roles, he's mentioned that himself countless times and has even gotten angry when gender roles where pushed by any character in-game, the transfem vil hc is taking a character that breaks gender roles and pushing him back into them. idk if u rlly know about the struggles of gnc trans people but ill tell u bestie it's BAD. we're constantly excluded and even harassed by members from our own community because gender roles have been pushed so deeply into their minds they can't process the fact a trans man, might want to present fem, or that a trans woman, might want to present masc. and for that, for the simple way of how we express ourselves we are constantly belittled and have our experiences as trans people invalidated, (by both cis and other trans people) a character like vil is important representation to the gnc community, both cis and trans, but since we're talking about the trans community ill be focusing on it. both transmascs and transfems have talked about their dislike to the hc and ive met more than 5 ppl say that an hc like this causes them dysphoria because it's taking away the little rep we get all for the sake of what?? pushing gender roles once again.

for more personal reasons; this hc brings me TERRIBLE dysphoria and anxiety and the people ive seen that have it have been extremely toxic and most of the time also fetishizing towards trans people which makes me extremely uncomfortable, i dislike the hc, i dislike the community around that hc and considering ive gotten harassed and even called the t slur by some ppl that have it id say that i have more than a few rights to complain about it

[atorchzagreusandtris]

Everyone that knows me knows I love trans Kai hcs because trans Jay hcs make me uncomfy as a trans masc (it's bc of how the fandom has babied him which is actually a big problem in a lot of popular trans hcs for any media </3)

I think Kai has a more compelling arc as a trans man too.

Kai being left to raise Nya because his parents were kidnapped when they were really young, thusly he quite literally has to be the MAN of the household even when he still presented fem/didn't know he was trans and was just seen as the tomboy in his village. He fights even harder to become strong and to protect Nya, it's one of the only things he takes seriously in life.

Kai fights so fucking hard to be seen as not just a boy, but as a man during his teen years.

And then during the Garmadon is back and they're trying to figure out the Green Ninja prophecy arc he fights even harder to become the Green Ninja. He's fought so hard, why can't he be the chosen one? (Note the Morro parallels here because OOUGH... O O O U G G H H H H...) Why can't he be the one to defeat Garmadon? He's fought so hard his entire life for everything he ever wanted. But then Lloyd is the Green Ninja, and when Lloyd is questioning everything he has this great moment of awakening when he realizes that it's been pushed onto this fucking child who was just like him, fighting to be noticed, fighting to be loved, fighting to be seen as a man because LLOYD TRANS HCS ARE FIRE TOO and all of a sudden Kai needs to protect him too. (BECAUSE WAAAAAAAAA RBG SIBLINGS...)

Kai fights and fights to become stronger for others. And when Zane dies in season 3 and Kai joins the fight club, he fights because he wasn't strong enough to protect someone he loved. It's all he knows. Fight. Train. Feelings don't matter if you can punch them out. (Or flirt them out, which... doesn't work most of the time)

And then Kai meets Skylor, who is also just like him... but the opposite. Trans femme instead of trans masc. (Yes, I have Skylor transfer hcs too!) And while PIXAL was also trans (Yeah, another transfem, fight me about it), it's different when it's actually a person instead of... well - a robot. Or nb like Zane... And finally he starts to feel like maybe he's not alone. He seeks her out during the ToE and tries so hard to talk to her, but alas.

and then things fall apart I haven't watched season 4 in forever so i forget a lot of things that happen </3 I have so much more to add to this but for now I'm just gonna let it be because I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS and need to REWATCH NINJAGO to put them down!

[stepswowdsen]

【KHR AU】 XanLena Wearing Việt Phục ❤️💜🔥🪷

Doodle WIPs of Xanxus wearing Áo Dài and Selena in her main outfit

Intro Rambles

Nguyễn Selena (Nguyễn Nguyệt Vân Liên) is my Viet NB KHR OC and beloved wifey wife 💜🪷

She's a calm and aloof assassin with a cheery personality who's a flower enthusiast (florist and gardener) with an interest in fashion and collecting traditional clothes, including lolita fashion, girly fashion, and historical fashion.

I mainly pair her with Xanxus, my fave KHR meow meow mf (my no. 1 KHR fave tied with Hibari)

I've been thinking about drawing XanLena for Xanxus' birthday on 10/10. Most of my midterms are after the 1 week break we get during mid October. I'll post it whenever I get started on the sketch. I'll probably post the whole thing on main whenever I get it done

I definitely want to draw XanLena in Việt phục ("Viet traditional clothing"). I'm either gonna go for Xanxus wearing Áo Dài ("Long dress") and Selena wearing Áo T���c ("Ceremonial dress"), or Selena wearing some kind of Việt phục (Áo Tấc) with a big Nón quai thao.

The big hat is called Nón quai thao ("Wide flat palm hat with fringes/strap tassels"). It can be worn with any Việt Phục. I was thinking of having plants and lotuses on her big hat. Maybe her smol little cloud puppy could be resting on it too… That'd be cute.

Picking flowers for XanLena based on Flower symbolism is easy since Selena is Xanxus' cute florist assassin gf/wifey.

I want gifting flowers (based on their symbolisms in the Hanakotoba, Japanese Floriography, etc.) to be one of their love languages.

Like I imagine it starts with Selena gifting flowers to Xanxus because of her interests, and then he starts getting the servants to gift her bouquets of flowers she likes (and then also hands gifts personally to her himself, too) 🥰💘

I haven't decided on Selena's birthday yet.

Selena is a Central baby who was born in Huế, a city in Central Vietnam. Huế wa the former Imperial capital.

I want her birthday to be in the lotus blooming season in Huế.

Selena's Viet name is Liên, which means "Lotus" in Sino-Viet, and the lotus is Vietnam's national flower 🪷

XanLena Art Ideas

I had a couple different art ideas in my head. I usually imagine Xanxus wearing Áo dài ("Long dress") since the shape language of it suits him most. I think he'd also look nice in Áo giao lĩnh ("Cross collared dress"). Since Xanxus has a very masculine presenting appearance and mannerisms.

Examples of Áo giao lĩnh. I love the soft purple colours. Reminds me of Selena 🥰💜🪷

Admittedly Viet men's fashion isn't as diverse as Viet women's fashion so I'll have to think of ways to differentiate my masc meow meow mf faves' outfits from each other

I think GNC masc charas like Douman (FGO), Judar (Magi), Kuroha/Saeru (KagePro) would look nice wearing both masc and femme Viet clothes ^^

Selena's design is NB flag colours 💜🖤🤍💛

I would consider purple, blue, and pink to be her theme colours, but purple is her main one. Her main colour palette and main theme colours make up the NB and Bi flag colours. My Bi NB icon~ 💗

Selena’s main Flame attribute is Cloud (purple flames) ☁️

Her secondary Flame attribute is Rain (blue flames) 💙💧

Soft pastel purple is Selena's main theme colour 💜

Blue and pink are Selena’ secondary theme colours 💙 🩷

I consider pink to be her secondary theme colour since it's also the colour of the lotus flower. She looks great wearing soft pinks 🩷

Idea 1: Couple art with XanLena wearing Việt Phục where Xanxus wears a black Áo dài ("Long dress") with red accents and gold flame shaped earrings with a red gem, and Selena wears a pastel purple Áo Tấc ("Ceremonial Dress") and khăn đóng (purple headwear) with lotuses and flowers on it, while holding a lotus.

Xanxus could also be holding a fan. It’d be super pretty if they were wearing fairy style Áo Tấc with either semi-translucent sleeves, or a semi-translucent sash or outer coat on top...

I’d want Selena to have the flowers on her khăn đóng, or in her hair, because it’d fit her very well!

Idea 2: Selena wearing a purple Việt Phục with a big Nón quai thao ("Wide flat palm hat with fringes/strap tassels") that has lotuses and flowers resting on top of it. Perhaps her cute pom pom (pomeranian) cloud pupper could be lying asleep on top of it as well? Like dog, like owner, they both like falling asleep in random places 🥰

Selena has a tendency to fall asleep in random places like a cat cot, including in her own garden, so Xanxus orders his men to go fetch his cat gf like the overbearing bf he is 🐈‍⬛🦁 Black cat gf x lion bf. I love the look of the Nón quai thao sm… The hat varies in size!

Idea 3: Selena wearing Áo Nhật Bình ("Square collared dress"). The Áo Nhật Bình is one of my favourite Viet traditional clothings because the patterns are SO gorgeous. The traditional Áo Nhật Bình is usually in red, but there's all types of colours! I recently bought pastel purple and traditional red ones with gorgeous patterns. The pastel purple one has coincidental trans flag stripe colours~ 🏳️‍⚧️ She'd look so pretty in it!

Iirc, this dress was worn by women of high status/royalty (princesses)

Selena falling asleep in flowers like harvest mice 💐🪷

In my KHR AU, Selena falling asleep in giant flowers is based on harvest mice (field mice) falling asleep in flowers like tulips. Xanxus who goes like (Huffs) whenever Selena loses track of time and falls asleep in her flowers/garden and has to send his men to fetch her

She's like a cat so she can fall asleep even in random places (her giant semi conscious plants will make a plant/flower bed for her). Selena being very eepy is sooo cute. It's always a good time for a nap to her. Xanxus who goes overbearing bf mode whenever Selena falls asleep in random places… It’s his own way of looking after the sleepy gf~~ She’s basically this cat. Snork mimimimi 🐈‍⬛😴💤

You can read more under the cut!

Old Arts of XanLena

Doodle WIPs I did back in 2023

I drew this Selena wearing Áo Tấc before back in 2023!

I love the colours of this one, especially the purple and pink gradient of the Áo Tấc, but I wanna redraw it to make it consistent with my current style cuz I've improved a lot since then

I also wanna update the old XanLena chibis I drew in 2023 to make it consistent with my art style too.

I did this super messy XanLena sketch back then of Selena giving him a bouquet of flowers 🪷

Trưng Sisters (FGO) by Takegarou

It's based on Takegarou's chibi style, one of the main Pokémon artists for Pokémon Sun and Moon, Sword and Shield, Legends: Arceus, and Scarlet and Violet.

Take is the character artist for the Trưng Sisters, known as Hai Bà Trưng ("Two Ladies [Named] Trưng") in FGO.

I love Take's aesthetic sense. Take's sense for picking colours and designing is fantastic. You can very clearly see the Viet traditional clothing inspirations~

Áo Nhật Bình

I recently got pastel purple and red Áo Nhật Bình. I'd LOVE to wear it sometime. The colours and patterns are so gorgeous!!!

Purple and red are XanLena colours 💜❤️

Art Rambles

When I do an initial sketch, I just focus on making the face + eyes look good so I tend to draw multiple versions of each, and then choose the best one. I refine my doodles many times, making the sketch neater everytime. So I just clean up my sketch. I just realized I hardly get to colour and properly render cuz I need a cleaner sketch to guide my colouring. Hopefully I can change that and get the opportunity to colour more

I remember a bunch of times in 2020 - 2023, my friends had sentiments like "I hardly get to see you colour, but I love your aesthetic sense in picking colours."

I love picking colours! I can try leaning into a messy painting style…

Oh and just if people are curious. I'd call myself Yume (lit. "Dream") and Yumejin (lit. "Dreaming person") since I do Canon/OC content for my KHR AU, and prefer gender neutral terms as someone NB.

Misc KHR Rambles

Just gonna put the context for mutuals who don't know much about KHR but wanna tune into my rambles

Xanxus was named for his flame as a kid (the Flame of Wrath), since he was born on 10/10, so he has two of the Roman numeral X's in his name, and so believed that he'd become Vongola 10th boss.

As my friend Cinna said, "Xanxus' sheer existence was made for rising on top of the mafia. He was born, named, and raised, to be a leader."

Xanxus' name has the roman numeral X for Decimo = 10, having dreamed to be the Vongola 10th (Decimo) since birth. He was named for that very reason. He was also born on 10/10.

Born on 10/10 to be a 10/10~

Easy to remember: Hibari: 5/5, Mukuro: 6/9, Xanxus: 10/10

I'm gonna be real honest like these three are the only KHR birthdays I remember just cuz they're easy to remember. I always find out about others after their birthdays pass like oops 😭

5/5 = Children's Day in Japan

6/9 = His fandom number is 69 (Ro (6) + Kyu (9) = Roku) -> Rokudo Mukuro

10/10 = The man with two X's in his name. Roman numeral X = 10

[sidesteppostinghours]

Please post more about your transfem herald headcannon i beg of youuuu i am so intrigued

flattered that youre interested enough to wanna know more about transfem danny but also. bold of you to assume i can articulate my thoughts abt him at all 🗿 im so sorry this post is prlly going to end up incoherent. i recommend @/flystep for more posts about the hc though, they talk about it more than i do and a lot of my ideas have been pulled from or influenced by them, but! i would say most of my reasons for hcing herald as transfem boil down to what i said here:

#theres something in the way that herald conforms to the /ideas/ of what men and women should be like that makes me think that-if he ever ha#a real opportunity to play around with his gender- might lead to some revelations. i think herald is so sick of being what the world tells-#-him to be and that feeling would bleed into his gender identity

i dont think herald applies his standards of man and woman to other people (or at least not intentionally) but subconsciously does so to himself, especially because theres never really been anyone challenging his internal sense of identity that could push him to start questioning it. like, even with sentinel, most of the gender talks that happened were (im assuming) centered around daniels questions/comments than anything about himself. daniel lived– and continues to live– in an extremely controlling environment that taught him to be hyper-aware of the way hes perceived, and more importantly, it taught him that he needed to be perceived in the right way. hes been told his entire life that he has to present himself correctly, that there was no room for flexibility or experimentation at the threat of his home/safety/career. but i also think that its not a role he Wants to play– i think theres rebellion and defiance simmering under the surface, but there are too many stakes involved for anything to happen.

plus, daniel,,,,doesnt really think about his own identity that much???? or himself as a whole for that matter. like, im p sure he doesnt even know hes bisexual until sidestep (and Only if sidestep is nb/male). honestly im not even gonna try explaining this one im just gonna offer you this because it captures what i say perfectly and lives in my mind rent free. so yeah, i dont think herald wouldve ever questioned being a man lmfao.

i havent thought much about post transition daniel so i have no idea how hed present rip. i think hed really like wearing dresses but thats about as far as i know. ive seen both femme and masc and i like both interpretations so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh though, i think finding his personal style requires both time and space to experiment, which is a luxury he doesnt have considering the demands and expectations placed on him. without something Seriously upending the way hes living at the moment, i dont think its something he would have the chance to explore even After he sorts out his gender. which is, of course, why im sending my beloved transman cyrus who refuses to take any shit to fuck his gender up.

anyway have this sketch of m and f herald having a category five transgener moment. as a treat

[drbtinglecannon]

Raine for that character breakdown thingy

Raine Whispers my beloved

How I feel about this character

Man I get emotional over Raine when I think about them too long. Every single aspect of them from their name to their design to their identity is incredibly fun and important as representation. A brown nb middle-aged badass that's a major love interest that also plays a role in defeating the ultimate evil? They're just such a fun character with so many cool aspects to them I could just keep listing em. Like their palisman being a fox that's disguised as their instrument weapon?? The symbolism there??? They're a bard with stage freight but also a massive flirt??? Canon monsterfucker???? I could go on for hours, unfortunately it won't be very articulate after a while

All the people I ship this character with romantically

Obviously ride or die raeda, but I have always kinda liked raidarius and dariraeda, preferably the second one because ot3s are fun. But raeda is like "this is a pair do not separate" that I don't really care about shipping Raine outside of it unless Eda is involved too

My non-romantic OTP for this character

So I guess raidarius goes here too because Darius is very ace/aroace to me so I like them as like, sad cuddle buddies post Follies

My unpopular opinion of this character

Raine has always felt masc/butch to me considering their canon design and how Dana always drew them in her art, so I don't always vibe with fanart of them presenting very fem (which I've seen a lot of over the years, it's nbd its just not my preferred way to imagine them)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Was honestly surprised raeda wedding didn't happen considering Eda's gold ring on her left hand and Raine taking one of her hands (to disintegrate so she didn't die), but I'm not too upset by it. I remember Raine's VA being very insistent Dana not answer if they were married or not so it could be ambiguous since there're so many types of love, which I appreciate! I definitely wouldn't have turned down a wedding tho

[miggfo]

Cis Yet Not Cis: The possible intersection of GNC identities and being trans/nonbinary, and misconceptions about GNC people

Introduction

I think the best way to introduce this post is to simply present a variety of often-conflicting quotes from LGBTQ people about "gender nonconforming" people(like butch women and femboys):

"Femboys can take off being a femboy at any time, unlike trans people."

"The character expressed gender euphoria at being perceived as masculine, so they have to be transmasc, not just GNC"

(a butch woman speaking) "My initial reaction to getting called cis is to cringe... cis is viewed as the opposite of trans, so it implies I'm comfortable with conforming to my gender"

(a trans woman speaking) "What is the material difference between me and my HRT femboy friends?"

"If you take away lesbianism from being butch, then all you have left is dressing differently."

"GNC people are not queer, queer is only if your identity or sexuality differs, and GNC people are cis"

"Nobody is assigned femboy at birth- they're essentially trans."

"Theres a long history of some butch women getting dysphoria for not being masc enough, sometimes going on HRT or getting top surgery."

"Femboy is only an aesthetic descriptor, it has nothing to do with identity"

“We never see him dress masculine, he's ALWAYS dressing fem, so how can he just be GNC?”

These quotes, and many others, reflect varied, conflicting perceptions of gender nonconforming people among even some trans people. So I suspect that a significant percentage of LGBTQ people have a flawed understanding of GNC people, and so I wanted to make this post. I think most of you basically get it but since I see some weird statements every now and then so i figure it may be helpful to convey this breadth a bit better, and that may help solidify it for some people.

(Also, to clarify a definition: I'm using "gender nonconforming" here to mean "someone who's gender expression doesnt match society's conception of their gender identity", ie butch women, femboys, tomboys, etc. As far as I can tell, this is a relatively recent definition for GNC. It has been heavily adopted as the primary definition in many LGBTQ circles(probably because of the vacuum it fills), but theres still people who use the term as an umbrella term for trans+nb+etc(which seemed to be the meaning before the recent shift) or people who use it to mean something like genderfuck, so I felt I should clarify.)

Expression and Breadth

A source of the disparity in the quotes above is that GNC identities involve something like a spectrum. For example, for male-identifying cis femboys, you could lay out a demonstrative spectrum something loosely like:

1)A femboy who is arguably gender conforming outside of the fact that he enjoys the aesthetics of dressing fem. It has no emotional importance to him, he can "take it off" at any time, and his conception of identifying male has not changed much.

2)A femboy who is only modestly attached to being a boy(demi?), but doesnt identify as being a woman nor feels a particular pull towards nonbinary conceptions either. Feminine gender expression is important to him(cant "take it off" without emotional harm), much moreso than what gender he identifies as. His conception of male identity is loose.

3)A femboy who's combination of feminine gender expression and identifying as male is important to him. His conception of male identity has changed a lot from what was given to him by society.

4)A femboy who is very similar to 3), but has a much stronger need to be feminine and be perceived that way, going so far as to go on hrt to feel expressed and fulfilled. His conception of male identity has changed drastically from what was given to him.

These are just loose examples(multi-attribute things dont map cleanly to a linear spectrum anyway, the point is to just demonstrate some things), and of course there are those in between each point. I also suspect a significant % of femboys are somewhere between 2 and 3- feminine expression is important to them, theyve opened up their concept of male identity a lot but are also kind of winging it(which is fine) and are more attached to femininity than male identity, and just have some movement towards certain values in reaction to things like gender restrictions and toxic masculinity.

You can of course construct this sort of demonstrative spectrum for other gnc identities like tomboys, men who identify as gnc but not feminine, gnc people who specifically value a mix(tbh a lot of femboys are like this), etc.

This illuminates a few things especially when viewed alongside conceptions of being trans. For example, theres a difference between:

-simply having "gender expression" without it having emotional importance to you

-gender expression being indirectly important to perception as a gender identity(like being seen as masculine as a vehicle to being seen as a man)

-gender expression being important as perception of a more specific gender identity(like being seen as a masc woman, not just a woman, not just masc, and certainly not a masc man or a feminine woman- the whole picture is key)

Part of why I bring that up is because some people seem to think that expression is only a tool to reinforce/convey identity, rather than sometimes an inseparable part of what's important to someone. (Also, just to mention: gender expression isnt just clothing.)

Another thing the demonstrative spectrum points to is breadth. The quotes at the top of this post pretty much all focus on a subset of this breadth of gnc people. Because of that, that makes some of the quotes flat out wrong(because they only imagined that identity as a specific thing- or are just stupid) and others just sound odd when you dont realize the part of the range they're talking about. Most GNC identities are fundamentally quite broad, partially because they point to a "mismatch" between identity and expression, but expression serves multiple different purposes as mentioned, and thus these identities are naturally broad.

Labels and Conceptions

Now, imagine the above spectrum, but broaden it from "cis male-identifying femboys" to "cis men". Now you have some gender-conforming men at the start of the list. Or do the same with a list for women, from gender-conforming women to butch women.

Having those side by side in the same list brings us to the next question: Do the gender nonconforming people have the same conception of their gender as the gender conforming people? Do they have the same "gender identity"? Is a butch woman the same "gender identity" she was assigned? Is identifying as a woman the same for a gender-conforming woman as for every butch woman who deeply needs to be perceived as masculine? Obviously, there’s some relation, but what counts as “the same gender identity”?

Before I continue on this, theres often some assumptions that go into "Trans" and "cis", such as:

-Being trans means having explored what gender means to you, having worked through discomfort with whats assigned to you and restrictions, and having thought about what resonates with you

-Being trans means gender divergence has a special importance to you

-Cis is thus often positioned as the opposite of these- hasnt thought about gender, hasnt self-realized, hasnt worked through discomfort on restrictions etc

-Gnc people are cis, and therefore etc etc

Again, like that quote above from a butch woman: "My initial reaction to getting called cis is to cringe... cis is viewed as the opposite of trans, so it implies I'm comfortable with conforming to my gender."

For a lot of gnc people(i dont know what %, of course, and have biased assumptions based on the communities im exposed to), their conception of their gender identity is about as shifted from their AGAB's gender conception as a nonbinary gender. But the fact that they use the same label(and probably still have some type of conceptual connection with their AGAB) obfuscates this shift, it obfuscates that they mayve gone through introspection etc. Questioning, exploring and understanding your gender identity doesnt just mean going from two identities with visibly different labels, but also includes going between two identities that have the same label(woman->(butch)woman)

Reconstructing a house can involve as much work and decisionmaking as moving into a new house. The ship of theseus, except gender. Virtually no boy is assigned a conception of manhood that can include being a femboy, nor needing to be perceived as feminine. That is a fundamental change they made/something they discovered while self-investigating, and those different needs demonstrate the differences. If a GNC person cant "just take off" being GNC because it makes them dysphoric/upset/deprives them of gender euphoric feelings, that points to the change and the pursuit of that different conception, and is hardly different from, say, nonbinary genders. Just as there are nonbinary fems who are close to indistinguishable in behavior/needs from very fem women but in a nonbinary identity, theres the same for male-identifying fems.

The "Nobody is assigned femboy at birth" quote initially took me aback because it sounds silly to even say, and while the phrasing could perhaps be better there's definitely a point: Nobody gets assigned very GNC conceptions, they dont start with that, even if you put clothing aside.

Of course, this doesnt mean all GNC people have a different conception of their gender than genderconforming people- again, the demonstrative spectrum before. Some GNC men still harbor toxic masculinity. You cant usually tell from outside signals what a person has thought about with their identity or what their needs are- this is true for every group. And sometimes change is not consciously thought out. But in any case I do think a considerable % of, for example, “cis” femboys basically reshape what being male identifying means to them and are essentially a form of nonbinary/genderqueer.

In general on this topic, I think this comic from https://somethingaboutlemonscomic.tumblr.com/post/678523447463313408/4x10-4x11-4x12-last-update-chapter is relevant:

Conclusion

Ultimately, my main points are:

1)i think some people need a bit more understanding that “gnc” and gnc terms like femboy are pretty broad categories and include some people who have extremely similar needs to trans people, as well as people who are just average cis people with different fashion, and everyone in between.

2)Cis and trans have multiple meanings that are positional/relative- see nonbinary people who hesitate to use trans depending on context, because they associate it with "having gone through a lot of things binary trans people are associated with going through". Similarly, GNC people can have an awkwardness with being called trans even if they have in mind everything i've said about being called cis. Being called trans is assumed to be like girl->boy/enby, rather than girl->genderqueer alteration of girl. Both terms can be perceived as off.

3)Gender identity changes can keep the same label, which can mask the degree of change inside those gender conceptions

This post may come across as like “many gnc people should count as nb and/or as trans”, and maybe, but honestly I don't care much about that, those words are fairly contextual and multi-purpose anyway and have moved so much over the years. That’s only perpendicular to my points of trying to convey GNC people more accurately and move past some assumptions.

In any case, if the fact that i'm walking near that claim is Wrong and Concerning im totally open to criticisms of my thought process etc, and i absolutely dont intend to conflate, say, “gnc people who just dress different but its not related to their feelings/self-conception/etc” with trans people or nonbinary people let alone the degree of their struggles/oppression, which is part of why its necessary to convey that gnc people are a range.

Like Shel said in https://cohost.org/shel/post/1221440-some-wisdom-about-be , people tend to get very confident in their specific experience of lgbtq communities etc, and similarly can get overly confident in what an average person is like. So I just caution you to be aware of the limitations of your own circles and small data sets. Like if youre about to say something like “all the people I know are <>” then you should probably immediately tread with caution because it seems to me that gender groups are usually considerably heterogeneous in many ways.

A few clarifications and misc comments:

-I definitely understand that cis GNC people have privileges that usually help them avoid some problems trans people face. Like being able to avoid a higher amount of bioessentialist ire, less likely that medical gatekeeping prevents them fulfilling their needs, etc. I dont mean to downplay that. But I do want people to understand things like that butch women have faced intense hatred for a long time, and some of the most violent hateful fascist comments I have ever seen on the internet have been directed at femboys- these things point to important dynamics of how right wing hatred works.

-I used the terms butch/femboy predominantly in this post because I felt like they quickly convey the degree of GNC i'm talking about, but I dont mean for them to monopolize conceptions of GNC. Talking about GNC people is always messy compared to, say, talking about agender people. With "agender", afaik(correct me if I'm wrong!) almost noone who would be classified as agender dislikes the term and also it is very clearly about them specifically- it is both sufficiently broad and specific. In contrast, "GNC" is pretty vague, "Femboy" doesnt cover all very gnc men(such as ones who dont consider their expression to be fem), and "Butch" has very particular connections with lesbianism, etc. Terminology is currently avoidably sloppy for describing GNC people, no way to avoid it.

-As alluded to at a few points, you dont have to be male identifying to be a femboy, although thats usually who uses the label. An accurate, inclusive definition of femboy would be "someone with a very feminine gender expression but still aligned with a mix of masculinity in some way(ie usually, identifying as male)". Somewhat similarly, butches are definitely not exclusively women, I was just focusing on that subsection of butches for the purposes of this post.

-Theres simply a huge overlap between the experiences of, say, fem trans women and fem gnc men and fem enbies.(and the same for the masc inverse) Theres a tendency to see a set of experiences and go "Oh! Same identity as mine!!!!" and not see whats shared across different identities rather than is particular to a single identity. Seriously the experience overlap is fucking enormous.

-The positioning of 2) in that spectrum is partially arbitrary but thats what you get when you try to map 4+ things to a 2 dimensional spectrum

-"Genderqueer" can be used to convey the meaning of "having a 'queer' version of your cis gender", but its has a ton of meanings and is very often used to just mean "nonbinary/trans", so its pretty impractical to try to use it to mean specifically that concept

-I focused on cis gnc people to make my points and comparisons more clear(isolating the focus to GNCness), but a lot of what I said is relevant to understanding trans gnc people, who are extremely based

[twsthc]

TWST GENDER AND SEXUALITY HCS

thanks again for submitting stuff on twitter! i tried to include everyones hcs somehow but also keep it true to my own hcs. again this took forever so sorry for any writing/grammar inconsistencies

⚠️ warnings: i typed the word "transmascpilled" with a straight face, light chapter 3 spoilers!!

last updated: oct 6, 2023

HEARTSLABYUL 🥀

Riddle: Unlabled Questioning Asexual, Transfem (she/any)

because of her parents i think her identity was the last thing on her mind

after going to nrc they found out about... expression?! crazy i know

started to cautiously experiment with his identity, but isnt very open about it and is still figuring himself out.

Ace: Cupioromantic Bisexual, Cisgender (he/him)

is always getting "crushes" on people (he cant tell the difference between platonic and romantic love)

after pining for someone for like a week he gets a little "OHHH" moment

asked cater about it, got laughed at, and was directed to the lgbt wiki

despite this he can feel romantic attraction! he just feels very little. is deuce's qpp/possible romantic partner

Deuce: Pansexual, Gender curious (he/him)

hasnt really thought about his identity much but after some research (an Am I Gay Quiz) he realized he was pansexual

still figuring out his gender

type of fellow to say "HIS PRONOUNS ARE THEY THEM" /j

Cater: Queer, Transmasc NB Genderqueer (he/they/any)

@/heartslabyulian on twt explained it better than me but the resistance against his mom and sisters about "being like them" (feminine) is so transmascpilled

also i think theyre just having fun expressing themself like who cares? wear a skirt, dont bind, grow out and dye your hair, use fem terms, literally just go crazy

Trey: Cisgender Bisexual (he/him)

male/nb preference

pretty confident in his identity but isnt opposed to experimentation

SAVANACLAW 🥩

Leona: Unlabled, Intersex GNC Transfemneu (she/him)

lions are one of natures queerest animals

i think he wouldnt care too much about gender presentation

i was inspired by that gay lion in kenya (as well as the real lion king) and have come to the conclusion that leona kingscholar is bisexual (bangs gavel)

Ruggie: Pansexual, Agender/GNC Transfem (he/she/they)

read a fanfiction where ruggie used she/her and i havent been the same

expresses herself how she wants but doesnt really align with any gender

im conflicted if he would be agender or nonbinary SIGH

Jack: Panromantic Asexual, Gender curious (he/him)

still figuring out his gender just give him a minute

sex repulsed ace, hes really uncomfortable w the topic and thought of sex

all he knows is he likes boys alright

OCTAVINELLE 🐚

Azul: Bisexual, Intersex Transfem (she/he)

i think one of the reasons azul wanted us to get that picture from the museum so bad is not only cos hes self consious of his younger self but because he looked "more masculine" and he just really hated it

me when im in a depressed and self conscious competition and my opponent is azul ashengrotto [insert enel one piece shocked face reaction image]

Floyd: Unlabled, Genderfluid (he/any)

doesnt care for labels he just wants to have fun in the sun!!!

type of guy to go "im a boy but a girl but a Man but a pretty princess but also a mud eating warrior but also--"

just like me fr

Jade: Aromantic Asexual, Agender (they/he)

fucking battery

look i get its probably stereotypical to hc the typically "stoic" guy to be triple A but just hear me out: i dont care (also jade isnt even stoic he is such a silly guy!!)

its MY headcanon account and EYE get to choose which anime boy i project on

SCARABIA 🌞

Kalim: Lesbian, Transfem Genderfluid (she/he)

she has lesbian eyebrows okay?

always sliding around from fem to masc, his outfits often reflect how hes feeling

blink and she switches from ultra pink miniskirt sparkly frilly femme girly teengirl into a baggy pants oversized band shirt beanie wearing 7/11 mountain dew big gulp drinking Creature. seriously iconic

Jamil: Bisexual, Nonbinary (they/he)

they dont have time to worry about their identity

he has BILLS to PAY

but seriously they never got the time to do any self reflection when they were younger and after their OB they were able to fully come to terms with and explore their identity

POMEFIORE 👑

Vil: Queer Polyamorous, Genderqueer Transfem (she/her)

said this already on twitter but she/her vil is so real

figured herself out even before NRC

i dont have much to say about pomefiore as a whole tbh like theyre just Gay it just makes sense?

Rook: Pansexual Polyamorous, Agender (they/them)

this is the one hc i will never ever budge on

i cant explain myself. rook is just agender okay.

the panpoly bit is because he sees beauty in everyone and wants to share beauty with everyone (and he wants potential romantic partners to share beauty with each other as well)

Epel: Gay, Trans man (he/him)

also took an Am I Gay Quiz

asked vil about her identity and for advice on finding himself and stuff

he came out to leona as trans during practice and leona was like "okay? me too? now do 30 pull ups?" and epel was so happy

IGNIHYDE 💀

Idia: Bisexual, Nonbinary (he/they/xe/it ++)

i think lilia canonically uses he/they pronouns for gloomurai. im not fact checking this i will just saw someone on twt say it once and choose to believe

probably found out he was bi after playing an otome game

list of neos: xe/it/exe/cy/vi/byte/if/gore

Ortho: Experimenting (he/it/neos)

someone on twitter said ortho was that ""cringe"" baby queer who is constantly changing his identity and trying out different pronouns

and it reminded me of myself when i was 12 and named myself ""moth"" 😭 so its canon now

idia is supportive and uses his heaps of money to buy new pride flags/pins for whenever ortho comes to a new conclusion

DIASOMNIA 🐉

Malleus: Pansexual, Agender (any pronouns)

doesnt care about gender constructs, but in a way thats like "human gender doesnt make any sense so you can perceive me any way you want and it literally will not matter i dont care"

didnt even realize that going by different pronouns and wearing fem clothes was considered to be out of the norm until being introduced to human society

Lilia: Unlabeled, Agender (no pronouns)

again for fae gender isnt a construct as much as it is for human societies

id imagine lilia doesnt really mind using he/him pronouns after learning about those constructs but really doesnt care for them

Silver: Lesbian, Nonbinary (he/him)

when lilia took silver in, lilia didnt want to get too close to him, so lilia just used he/him on silver as a bitter reminder that silver isnt fae (contrary to raising silver without pronouns like he would typically for a fae child like malleus)

but then lilia got attached anyway LOL but the he/him stuck

kalim and silver are nonbinary lesbians in love

Sebek: Questioning, Questioning Nonbinary (he/him...?)

hes like "STUPID HUMANS AND THEIR GENDER" but at the same time is secretly questioning if its okay to use she/her pronouns, wear a wig, and put on makeup

because his dad is a human he got pronouns and grasped the concept of human gender constructs but was also able to experience his moms side of not caring about it

[mustikkaotso]

cw: gender dysphoria

been thinking abt the "these generations take too many selfies! its bad! too self absorbed" thing and while yeah, i suppose i agree on *some* parts (like i dont think we should be taking 50 photos of ourselves every single day) for me when i first started taking selfies, that was really a turning point and an important part of my transition.

throughout 2021-(early/middle)2023 i quite literally had about 2 or 3 photos of myself on my phone. i realised (recentlyish) that that was because of my really overwhelming dysphoria, and that i just did not recognise the person in the photo as "me"; i couldn't bare to look at myself. every time i looked in a mirror too, it was just emptiness at a face that wasn't mine, which looking back on that is really, really scary that i just failed to recognise myself as me. back then, while i did ID as nonbinary (to just myself and friends) i presented as female and was very feminine, also why i feel like i had two seperate "egg cracking" events for myself (i found out i was bigender (male/nb) in around september/november 2023)

when i realised i was actually bigender and not just nb, and i began to socially transition (i switched out most of my "fem" clothes to "masc" clothes, and got a haircut. previously, i had very long hair that i almost never cut.) this was just HUGE for me. that haircut was probably the most important part of my transition so far, because a short while after the haircut, i realised that i actually quite liked how i looked. it felt like i was actually looking at myself completely, and not just a random body my brain had woken up in. the ability to look in the mirror with my real name and real gender and actually like how i looked was just so empowering, and i'm so much happier and better off with it.

then, i started actually being able to take selfies without cringing at my face; my friends could now see me when i was away from them, and i could happily look back on memories from past adventures and fully feel like i was there.

of course, as i mentioned before i'm not a person who takes many, many selfies in a day, but selfies to me are just so nice to take and to look back at once time has passed. they remind me that i am in fact alive, and how much happier i am and can be in the future.

that haircut really did change my life.

[utilitycaster]

I would read a post about Ashton’s treatment by fandom, because I’m seeing the signs of another Beau/Jester vs Jester/Fjord explosion with coming if Ashton has and communicates romantic feelings toward Laudna and I wish fandom was self-aware enough to not do that again…

It’s interesting too, I feel like the two characters who have the strongest connections across the party and also the deepest mysteries still unaddressed in their backstories are Ashton and Chetney. For a fandom that loves “found family” and speculating on open ended backstory, they feel weirdly under-appreciated.

So to start I do want to assure everyone that if something's in my tags it's probably fair game to ask about; I have spiked bat proficiency.

Specific to Ashton: what's interesting is that early on, Ashton's queerness was this sacrosanct thing involving a lot of people's projections over their idea of punk (which I discussed at length here; do note this post is 10 months old and characterization marches on). There were also abundant headcanons about Ashton having disabilities due to their injuries long before it was confirmed in 3x35 that they experienced chronic pain. One of the early popular ships was also Ashton/Fearne, given their early thievery from each other and Fearne's interest in Ashton's skull. It continues to be a ship with some degree of fandom support.

Pretty much as soon as Ashton and Laudna started to interact more, Ashton's queerness either was shunted into "actually, he is 100% gay" or was fully ignored, and a masc-presenting nb person was rewritten as someone cis and heterosexual for being interested in a woman. The fact that, as far as I can tell, the first person in the party outside of FCG that Ashton voluntarily let touch them was Laudna (when comforting her following the Taste of Tal'Dorei pot holder purchase in 3x25) - which Ashton encouraged - is generally ignored in favor of Ashton and Orym's first one-on-one conversation in which Orym asks Ashton if it's ok to hug him, a full 15 episodes later, does not go without notice. (As is the fact that Ashton gave, as an example, "You sometimes start making out with someone's sister" in episode 3x9).

Essentially, Ashton's queer identity and personal relationships are conveniently reshaped so as to support ships someone wants and make impossible those they don't want...even if it conflicts with their own previous Ashton ships with women. When, in truth, all we know is that Ashton uses he/they pronouns and has shown some general interest in people of various genders.

The chronic pain, meanwhile, is interesting because after it initially I haven't seen it mentioned much lately except in the context of shipping (and primarily shipping Ashton with Orym, and primarily in the sense of 'Orym's the only one allowed to touch them' which as discussed is patently false). It's actually really interesting you mention Chetney and Ashton being particularly compelling because firstly, I agree, and secondly, it feels like a lot of fans of Ashton...really just use them as a cudgel against Chetney? Like, I do actually go into the main tag with some regularity and sometimes even the Ashton tag, and you may recall that there was extensive discourse about how Ashton should get turmoil...but I really don't recall any discussion about Ashton needing a mobility aid before that, and discussion of them needing a mobility aid pretty much vanished once the matter was settled. (I also think that Ashton/Fearne is a ship with plenty of textual support, but it took off in a particularly weird way once Fearne started to flirt back with Chetney; frankly my feeling on that whole situation is in fact to turn the triangle into a throuple but that's besides the point). Like, people seem to weirdly pit the two against each other in a way that feels wholly out of line with their friendly rivalry in-game. I honestly don't know why that is, and would love to know.

Anyway in summary Ashton is, in fact, a queer disabled lower-class punk, and it's great, but people keep saying how cool that is and then primarily engage with all of it solely to bolster or block ships or knock down other characters, even twisting the character's depiction in ways that are reductive in terms of disability and biphobic/at times transphobic in terms of queer identity to do so, which sucks. It also feels that as things like his chronic pain have been made canonical, people who were into similar headcanons have been less likely to engage, which is a pattern I've seen a lot and always raises red flags for me.

[throughalleternity]

Hi, how differently do you write nb!Alex and genderfluid!Lucy to make a noticable distinction between their gender identities? Like, how Do you write their gender euphoria/dysphoria in a way that they feel different from each other instead of being a copy of the same topics? And how Do you write Director Sanvers with both nb!Alex and genderfluid!Lucy in one fic where both feel different in terms of their gender identity instead of being a copy of each other?

I do try to write them somewhat differently. One thing that helps is that I headcanon them as experiencing gender in different ways, in part because of the labels that we've put on them (genderfluid vs nonbinary). Now, obviously those mean different things to different people and there's overlap. But I see Lucy/Leon as shifting across a plane of gender that includes very strong binary genders, and a large part of her experience is figuring out how to manage the fluidity and how to present both masc and femme. Alex's gender is stable and a lot of what they're trying to do is figure out how to be comfortable as themself when everything is so gendered in the world.

I also just try to write them differently irrespective of these gender headcanons. I think about their backgrounds and their canon behavior, and put together ideas about how they're different as characters. I do sometimes exaggerate those differences by making up or borrowing headcanons that contrast more (usually it's for Lucy, since she didn't get too much in canon). Now, once you factor in the gender headcanons, I do think my characterization of them becomes more similar (they have more shared experiences), but hopefully there's still some difference!

So basically I use a mix of personal headcanons as well as canon/fanon characterization as a basis for writing their different experiences. Take Static, where Leon cares much more about the perception of strangers compared to Alex, who cares more about friends/family. My thought process was kinda like this:

Ok, I want to write about how it can feel like the way a stranger genders you has more legitimacy than a friend/family because they don't have a relationship with you

That idea works well for Leon, who can be a binary gender and does like to present masc in my headcanon, so I will write him having the experience

Hmm, can I make this more interesting and add other perspectives? Yes, add nb!Alex feeling differently to compare and call attention to that experience too

Have Alex care less about strangers because they aren't super visibly gender nonconforming and have accepted that misgendering happens (also largely because their gender is nb and that's not well known/accepted)

Also can justify Alex caring more about family/friend's perception because a lot of canon/fanon is focused on Alex's personal relationships and we know they care about their family

As another example of how I differentiate them: my headcanon has Lucy being aware of her genderfluidity before Alex, so she's had more time to come to terms with it and process, which informs her character. Lucy has more direct baggage because of DADT though, so there's certainly still a lot of her learning to feel comfortable with herself. Alex is newer and doesn't have quite so many direct memories of being told "you can't be this way", so some of the things I write for them is more about exploring their gender and experiences in a less angsty way, I feel?

All that being said... I don't compare them directly too often? I feel like that might come across as forced distinction, and it's easier to have a oneshot focused on mostly one character's experience anyway. So in some ways, I can avoid them feeling too similar by just... only focusing on one of them. Also, some of the fics I've written with both of them aren't even focused on a specific facet of their gender identities, so again, I just dodge the problem for the most part.

tl;dr: I worry about this (and writing characters too similarly in general)! But I do try to distinguish them by (a) just deciding that they identify differently and (b) remembering that they are different characters who have different priorities and who react to things differently—they're more than their genders.

[toffeelemon]

Hi! I've recently been questioning my gender, with suspicions that I might be genderfluid. You're the first person that came to mind who is also genderfluid, which is why I ask here, but no pressure for you to answer! I was just wondering how the whole thing works, from more of a personal perspective (I can read all the wiki and educational/informational posts I want, but I want to hear more anecdotally if that makes any sense?). Obviously this is a pretty personal question, so please dont feel pressured and only answer to the point that you're comfortable (if at all). Thank you so much in advance!

hey oh gosh welcome! i feel like i probably am about to overshare sksk but i'm so touched by you reaching out i'll try my best! i don't know a lot of genderfluid people in person as well so i really appreciate this 💙

i'm not sure if my experience is relatable to the common impression of genderfluid people but here's how i experience it myself?

i'd say that i get gender euphoria from presenting both far ends of the gender spectrum at different times. i feel like sometimes people like to conflate the way trans people affirm their gender with reinforcing gender stereotypes (which i can go on a rant about how all people cis and trans perform gender as a part of self affirmation just like how you identify yourself with cultural and personality markers to better express yourself and relate to others), but for me i can recognise that gender is performative, but i also Like performing gender and think it's fun to manipulate the gendered constructs in society to my wishes to how i'd like people to think of me

occasionally i would present hyperfemme (so performative to the point it's almost akin to drag to be honest) because i expect and want people to perceive me as such. sometimes it's almost a conscious decision like. maybe this occasion is full of sapphics and i wanna attract a certain kind of attention 🌚 maybe i want to appear non threatening and more approachable and i'm working within the confines of the gendered lens the majority has. and it's good fun because i think people perceive me as gender-diverse anyway because of how playful and over the top i am with it

and well sometimes i try to present masc because i want to receive another set of expectations, impressions and social interactions... with varying degrees of success but i sure am working on it rip

either way, sometimes i just like the way i look in the mirror sksk it's not just about attention seeking

honestly? on a day to day i'm just not putting in a lot of effort to dress particularly in a gendered way. serving c*nt 24/7 is exhausting sksk

but internally i think i don't experience the "flux" as strongly as some people do. most of the time there are occasions, different groups of people that i meet maybe, that i feel strongly about how i want them to perceive me, and most of the time on the day i do go through with what i thought i would pull off and feel good about it

i do get bouts of (gendered) dysmorphia every now and then like most trans people. but internally i feel mostly neutral about my body and really am just annoyed at how bodies are gendered and hence my body is in the way of me... shapeshifting into whatever i would like people to perceive me as at any moment. like if i'm sitting in a room by myself? i could be a girl or a boy without any exterior expectations

interestingly i think i also relate my gender a lot to relationship dynamics. sometimes i like falling into gendered roles and think it could be fun and cute. sometimes i want to subvert them. half of the time i think i'm being funny for "appropriating" hetero culture existing in my non conforming body. but at the same time i'm not big into dating right now because i don't feel secure enough yet to not fall into gendered expectations that someone like a partner might trap me into

whilst i do answer to the label non-binary too what i like to say that i feel different from nb people who don't identify as genderfluid is that, whilst "not being either of the binary genders - male or female" is a common descriptor for nb people, i like to self describe as both? instead of being thought of as neither, i like to be considered as both - i'm just greedy and want to be both one of the girls and one of the boys sksk

and that feeds into my pronouns. in my mother tongue we have no gendered pronouns and on a day to day in most conversations people fill in the gaps and assume someone's gender without any clues. and in a sick way i get weirdly satisfied when people struggle with my gender, or slide back and forth, or come to different conclusions. i like being able to fit into both set of shoes, or all the shoes, at least i really try to. i enjoy weaselling myself into the hard boxes of he or she that people built for themselves and break their brains, lol

that's all coherent thoughts i have right now! was that fun? was that informative? please feel free to slide into the dms if you feel comfy to i'd love to chat and hear from you too!

sending you gender affirmative vibes <3 knowing yourself better and finding out new things about yourself is so exciting and i'm so happy for you

[thecryptidenthusiast]

2 +7 + 9 for sidestep(s) of choice? 👀

I’ll do a mix n’ match of Ace and Erin for these!

2. What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

Ace is surprisingly good with kids! His grungy-punk style (and his general…everything) probably puts people off, but he mellows around youngsters. If he had a normal life he’d absolutely be the “fun uncle at the family reunion”. He did some hero appearances at children’s hospitals and fundraisers back as Sidestep, and he really enjoyed himself. Children are generally just little weirdos and he meshes well with them.

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Two-for-one with this question! Both Ace and Erin’s feelings surrounding their genders have changed from when I first came up with them.

Originally, I’d planned on Ace being NB & just not really caring about gender at all. As soon as I actually started his route and wrote for him though, I knew that didn’t fit him. So much of who he is revolves around carving out a life he wants. No more living by the Farm’s expectations, and that includes his gender. He broke out, got started on hormones, risked being found out to get top surgery, but doesn’t regret a second of it.

Meanwhile, Erin started out as a cis woman. Recent plotting with a friend though made me realize how that didn’t fit for her at all. She’s got a severe disconnect with her body (and gender as a whole), but the self-loathing is strong enough she refuses to do much about it. The pronouns stayed, but that’s about it. Now she’s nonbinary, and most would see her as what society would view as ‘masc-presenting’, but if she gave it literally two seconds of self reflection she’d realize she’s agender.

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

The entirety of ‘Isobel’ by Flower Face is SUCH an Erin song. It was one of those as soon as I found it, it became her song. If I had to narrow it down to just a bit of it though, it would be:

“Do you still think you’re a killer, or could be if you tried? / Always thought you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes / Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?”

Erin thought she knew what she wanted, coming out as Enigma. That being a villain would be easier and would feel freeing, but no, instead she’s realized she doesn’t want to go down this path. She’s just too far along to stop now. She misses who she was, what she had prior to Heartbreak.

[vacantgodling]

7 - Would they ever consider a sexual relationship with someone they aren’t attracted to? Under which circumstances? 5 - Do they care about their gender identity “matching” their presentation in the way their society expects? Why or why not? 12 - Does their society impose gender roles on people? How has this impacted them? 13 - How is transness viewed in their society?

for anyone you think would be fun

~ @void-botanist

bc i'm being abnormal about azelie and sjaak i'm going to do this for them. crazed about them even.

this wip is heavy so i'm gonna put tw for just.... heavy subject matter regarding sex, transness and body modification. and stick it under a cut.

5 - Do they care about their gender identity “matching” their presentation in the way their society expects? Why or why not?

azelie -> not really; she's quite masc. though she does wear dresses, she keeps her hair cut short and somewhat 'boyish' (for the time) and much of this has to do with being on the fringes of society (vampirism) but also wanting to differentiate herself from rosita and matrixell, who are very very traditionally feminine.

sjaak -> yes, i suppose, but not in a way where he thinks about it? in his mind he is and always will be a man, he's never thought about being anything other than. the intersection of being biracial (he's black/white) in 17-1800s is definitely going to cause somewhat of a gender cognitive dissonance because of his struggles with feeling like he's even human (and being a werewolf doesn't help) but he's never felt like. trans/nb basically.

7 - Would they ever consider a sexual relationship with someone they aren’t attracted to? Under which circumstances?

azelie -> yes, and she already has in some ways; she's not really attracted to sjaak but the two of them sleep together around the time they first meet. and she's definitely not interested in silvano but 😬 she did what she needed to do to protect biscella. because she's ageless (a vampire) and was born in such a way that is traumatic (vampire birth is oof in this wip) she has actually very little mental connection to her own body and only sees it as a vessel to further her goals. romance and mental attraction is more sacred to her in many ways.

sjaak -> hahaha he's literally so in the closet its funny. generally speaking though no. esp given the time period (late 17-early 1800s) he's AGGRESSIVELY attracted to women to the point of self detriment (re: this whole story) and he wouldn't ever sleep with a man... unless we remove ourselves from the main wip and i think about multidues of later in history land since he's also virtually immortal so take of that what you will.

12 - Does their society impose gender roles on people? How has this impacted them?

in general yes--i mean this is a historical supernatural fic so it IS actually for once set in an identifiable historical time period and you Know that europeans were extrememly rigid about gender presentation

when i think about their respective 'alternative' societies outside of the real world sphere, vampires are more uptight than werewolves--at least in the coven that azelie is currently apart of with the rest of the casavantes. the reason for this being is that essentially, their coven is a cult. luis (the father figure) defected from the main cult that he was apart of who saw humans as a source of food, with his half-sister-wife matrixell and created his own MUCH smaller coven wherein he took away her and their daughter rosita's ability to reproduce on their own (bc vampiric women can its a whole thing) and that plays into the role of what he believes a 'proper woman' is, and something that rosita and matrixell buy into. azelie however, doesn't. and she hasn't let herself be defanged, nor has she bent to the whims of their new cult which in a way is like not performing womanhood in their eyes correctly. its a loooooot of nonsense going on in this wip.

when it comes to werewolves, there's actually more of a lax structure of gender when it comes to the actual people who are turned; as anyone can become a werewolf by consuming moonstone, and so everything is not broken up by gender man/woman but more like breeders/wolves. breeders are those in the pack who haven't turned because their goal is to procreate with broodmothers and bring up more warriors into the fold. because true wolves who hunt vampires (like sjaak) are infertile, there isn't the whole dichotomy of being a right or wrong man/woman because the real value is being strong to slay vampires. this is why dalal has such revere in the pack DESPITE being a woman because she's extremely strong and has slain hundreds of vampires. if any of this makes sense. ik its not very traditional way of thinking about it, but that's what makes sense to me to explain this pff. but, for sjaak, this causes a lot of internal conflict. he was raised in yknow, regular society before he was turned into a wolf so his already complex struggles with being a biracial (black) man in relation to gender is OOF. but now he can't even do the parts of being a man that he was taught all this time were important: provide (apart of the pack now he can't work traditional labor jobs for a myriad of reasons) or sire children (infertile). so aside from everything else going on in this wip, something else is that sjaak struggles in a cis way about not feeling man enough, but also in a trans-adjacent way because of not having a choice of being who he is now (werewolf tm) and somehow liking who he is becoming despite it all (which is a stretch of a metaphor, i know, but it kind of describes how Eye feel regarding being a man/man adjacent in queer society when sooooo many alphabet mafia people hate men. its a lot of commentary in this wip ok).

and speaking of transness--

13 - How is transness viewed in their society?

if we ignore the real world and just stick to the world of vampires and werewolves: overall vampires are very accepting of a variation of 'transness'. vampire women have the capability of creating life on their own without men (no dick needed but cool if you got one in my book, in practice... its 1700 something you tell me), and the reason i consider it trans (in a way) is because even though vampires are an alternative and trangressive society, there is still the backdrop of the real world behind it and how vampire women behave is certainly not how all of women behave irl during this time. however, there are some like luis who aren't a fan, and yknow, we essentially genetially mutilating people (defanging) becuse of it. so yike. but luis is an outlier in vamp society.

similarly, werewolves with their whole anyone can become a wolf thing, transness in a way is acceptable if i think about it through that lens. not all women have to become broodmothers and bear/sire children, they can become werewolves instead. it is still... misogynistic though because more women become broodmothers and bedwarmers to the pack than men do, but in a way, becoming a werewolf as a woman is a form of transness in a way.