#which fair. it might sound like it.
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ladyinthebluebox · 3 months ago
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terribly-late-for-tea · 5 months ago
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Me, a Canadian with no legal access to Prodigy's second season: I wonder what's new on the JC side of Tumblr today...
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kaeyapilled · 2 years ago
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kavetham different meeting au where theres a sort of fair for people who want to study in the akademiya to get to know each darshan, yknow those college fairs? where they talk to you about universities and courses? like that. and the kshahrewar and the haravatat booths are next to each other and kaveh and alhaitham are responsible for them and despite having just met they bicker with each other all. day. every future akademiya student that passes through one of their booths might as well have passed through both because they will not stop arguing about which darshan is better and which one the people talking to them should go to. its a very amusing experience to all involved except for kaveh and alhaitham themselves. and anyways. nuisances to lovers
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schizowitchic · 2 months ago
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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chamaleonsoul · 8 months ago
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Friends, I think it's time for me to come clean about some things. After a lot of thought, I've come to the conclusion that I'm straight. I have never felt genuine attraction for women or any other type of person that aren't men, it was just a phase of self delusion I feel into. I hope you all understand.
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ratwars · 3 days ago
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My new plan of action is to be more unapologetically me at work while still being work me because I am fucking tired of everything and my lack of fucks has apparently hit a new level so instead of fretting about that I am just accepting the damage periods of unemployment does to my personality (work personality? Ability to maintain said personality?) And going with it. If it works great. If it doesn't then they gotta fire me it is whatever I am not even pretending like I care to make a cookie cutter impression.
#i taught my boss's boss how to sneak alcohol into venues at the end of the day (she asked. usually i would be like oh idk about all that.#nah fuck it whatever i got you) but i also balanced it with explaining how working for promoters works because her teenager daughter has#some overlapping interests and i was like ohhh well let me tell you what she should look into when she turns 18 but some of them she might#need to wait till 21#so maybe itll be okay despite the hiccup with me learning how their pto police kinda fucking sucks and i acted like it could be a deal#breaker. but said maybe not i would have to wait and see.#which is true. i didnt fake it i went full “idk if i really need this job but lets see if i *want* this job instead* ya know yall seem like#great ppl doing great work 😌D#did send them into a panic accidentally at the end of the night like “thank you all for your help today and everything” and homegirl was#like leaning back in her chair like o#*like 🤨 oh shit? but no i meant just with training in general#should not have worded it like that because it did sound like i was about to be like “but this isnt the right fit for me so I wont be back#nooooo. whoops. lmao.#i realize this is from the accumulation of my personal flaws and my general abrasiveness but#they shouldnt let me start at new orgs this many times. they should because i sadly need money and a career but really.#i like to think my skill hard work and extremely decent attendance makes it balance out#but i do think i am like hi im here to ruffle your feathers because i do not have the attitude you are expecting as an employer in#(redacted) but it is gonna be like. just enough it might l#*piss some ppl off but not enough for others. but some of you will adore me. you probably shouldnt#but you will. in fact you may cry if i leave as historical proof shows.#and oh i will leave. eventually. because i fucking love leaving#but if you cant figure that out from my resume and took me at my word (fair tho) then that is on you#hopefully though this is okay and i can stay put 2-3 years and promote or transfer. their pto sucks less after 3 years anyways because#that policy becomes less of an issue#but idk. we shall see. they also have blackout months for time off. which like. i am also not keen on.#but like they do also offer overtime those same months so ehhhh#i like extra money but kinda also hate working weekends. so idk.#like is that a benefit? i dont know that that offsets it.#im picky because shittier employers in shittier jobs had better time off benefits so. like cmon now.#-pers
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cosmogyros · 19 days ago
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Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.
And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.
Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!
I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)
Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).
#please don't be harsh to me about this y'all :( i just needed to vent#i feel stupid enough already for being so incredibly fucking bad at something as simple as WATCHING A MOVIE#i don't get it? is this an autism thing? or is it an auditory-processing issue only?#tbf it's a mockumentary (hard core logo) and as i said to a friend tonight: that might be part of the problem#i think actors in mockumentaries often don't have an actual script and tend to improvise a lot of their dialogue#which is great for creating really realistic and convincing dialogue#but also often means that sentences trail off or make no sense; words are pronounced weirdly; enunciation is shit; etc.#the actors in this movie are really good in the sense that they're very realistic and it comes across basically like a real documentary#so props to them for that. but jfc. is it just me being shitty at understanding people talking?#or is it that these people do not fucking know how to project and enunciate and open their goddamn mouths when they talk?#and place emphasis in the right place in sentences? AND PRONOUNCE WORDS CORRECTLY FFS???#no i'm not being fair. and i know that. it's not fair of me to blame the actors/characters for my own difficulty understanding them.#but god this is hard for me. kind of ironic that i've studied so many foreign languages and can understand about 10 languages more or less#but i'm almost brought to tears by the challenge of trying to understand what native english speakers are saying in a normal film#there's another line where the transcript says 'as long as we can keep the fuckin' mentals fuckin' together'#but i swear he does not actually say 'mentals'. i listened to that bit so many times!!!#i even sent the link to a friend who confirmed that it didn't sound like 'mentals' to him either. more like 'mantoros' but that's not a wor#anyway i eventually just gave up on that one. i'm done for the night. i need to sleep#might delete this tmrw bc it feels stupid to get this down over literally just trying to watch a movie :( but i had to let off some steam#if anyone has a CORRECT transcript of this movie anywhere (you'll know it's correct if it does NOT include the word 'ryder') pls let me kno#that would help a lot with my future attempts at finishing it. but now i'm going to bed
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st4rstudent · 10 months ago
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I AGREE its so crazy how zap gags weren't a thing.... like TTCC really popped off with that one! i understand TTR is moreso sticking closer to the way TTO was but WOW zap just feels so natural with a REALLY good mechanic that uses strategy in using squirt and its just so good.... also my favorite track
YEEEPP!! That's how I feel about it. Squirt and zap just mix well together. I also think the addition of an 8th gag track was also a good move, allowing for a nice rotation of combinations (like how lure-trap and throw-drop are together as a combo). And also its a nice even number. I also think it helps utilize squirt, idk just feels good to do in general. Of course, I don't really have anything to compare this to and it's just me speaking as a player of (currently) one server, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's my favorite too, zap warriors UNITE!!
#clemask#clemramble#this is also not me hating on tt r either#actually i probably dont have to space that out because this is going to appear in word search anyways but still#i know sometimes there's a little bit of competition (is that what youd call it)? between the two servers. i want it to be stated that#i do not care about server comp. play what you want. who cares. i think both servers have their pros and cons and finding value in what YOU#like is more important than which one is the “”best“”. I think TR does an amazing job of taking TTO and transforming it into something more#while also staying true to the original game. i love the fact it brings some of the old concepts that were originally scrapped or lost#i also like the toon events that they have. like there was the halloween one and if i believe correctly it had a parade in it?#SUPPPERR COOL. i shouldve atleast played a little during that time just to experience it. but to be fair during the school year my#playing in general is toned down a lot. im sure everyone reading this knows how it is#and obviously i like ttcc. it has mac and winn. i mean what who said that.theres a ghost in here....#and i can understand why people like or dont like each server. they all have pros and cons. but to me its like the two cakes image#sorry i felt the need to clarify bc i know im kindof exclusively a ttcc guy and me going 'ummmm well tt r doesnt have zap' might sound#like im hashtag hating but im not. tt r is awesome ok. i need to try it out one day.#i just really like zap as a gag. like anon stated i think it just really feels natural to the game#that water electric combo does wonders
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tyhi · 6 months ago
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affirmations
anybody who discounts me for being weird was never ever going to be a good fit anyway
i am honest about who i am
i can never be too weird
weirdness on its own is morally neutral
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corpocyborg · 7 months ago
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i keep trying to read about how the net works in the cyberpunk world and how it's different from the real internet because a lot of my fics are very heavily focused on that aspect of the setting, and i can't tell if this doesn't make sense because i don't know enough about how the internet works in the first place or just because sci fi never truly makes perfect sense since it's ultimately fictional
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kingdomoftyto · 1 year ago
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October this year has felt kind of vague and adrift for me, no real festive spirit to speak of--or at least nowhere near how last year felt, when it was Year of the Vampire and all.
BUT I am remedying that now with a combined pincer attack of 1) relistening to Night Vale from the beginning on my commute to work and 2) rereading Warm Bodies on my breaks/in my spare time. Things are getting increasingly spooky up in here
#consider this a heartfelt rec for both of the series mentioned#for anyone who might not know: Welcome to Night Vale is a fiction podcast in the form of a community radio show#the host of the show gives news and commentary on the happenings in a small desert town#... a small town that's regularly besieged by cosmic horrors and shadowy government agencies and various other monsters and phenomena#it's extremely chill and relaxing! which is funny to say because it sounds like a joke but it's actually true.#the residents of the town are used to all of this strangeness so it's described in the same tone as the results of the schoolboard election#seriously even ten years later this podcast has me giggling like a maniac every few minutes#it's very funny and heartfelt despite ostensibly being horror themed#and as for the other series--Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion is SUUUUCH an underrated book series#the tl;dr is it's a zombie-human love story#there was a movie based on the first book several years back and it was pretty good imo#it plays up the romcom aspect a lot. which is fair but not EXACTLY accurate to the book. as you might imagine lol#the actual book though??? god I'm only two chapters in on my re-read and I had underestimated how much I love the way this protag thinks#it is HEAVY on philosophical discussion and even digs into some societal/political issues later on#and the supernatural/sci-fi worldbuilding is so incredible that tbh I can barely take any other type of zombies seriously after reading thi#it's just. it's good. check it out if you're not afraid of a little gore in your star-crossed romance#(I'd say more but I don't want to spoil the end of the first book! it's a fairly predictable twist but it still feels so good)
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nostalgia-tblr · 2 years ago
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today i spent SEVERAL minutes contemplating the difference between "sympathetic villain" and "charismatic villain" and whether fandom as a whole confuses these categories sometimes
#like A Good/Fun/Popular Baddy always seems to get called sympathetic? but they're not always actually?#sympathetic to me is like magneto or killmonger - you disagree with their means but their reasoning and goal are to some degree sound#but like Missy has rubbish reasons for killing people and taking over planets - she's just fucking cool while doing it u kno?#no tragic backstory no noble goals no grand vision none of that at all really#i have said before my Class Issues def make me less sympathetic to Thor-Movies!Loki - but he *is* charismatic and cool#but has fandom largely invented that Tragic Backstory to shove him into the Sympathetic category because that seems like The Good Thing?#(like i'd agree Thor wasn't ready to rule but it's hard to overlook how convenient this opinion is for the second-in-line to have u kno?)#which is maybe a writing/filmmaking issue if the Baddy might not be (allegedly) but it's hard to tell because Obvious Conflict Of Interest#ironicall(?) enough Sylvie actually does have the backstory and goals of a Sympathetic Villain being as they are VERY different#(*obligatory mention of The Class Issues there*)#but we learn those things only when we realise she isn't really the baddy anyway#Magneto thinks the normies want to kill the mutants and to be fair to him that's the plot of pretty much every X-Men film isn't it?#so he's not wrong. and we all know that he's not wrong in that regard. it's just his methods that are the issue.#and with that backstory we can absolutely see why he'd think it was kill-or-be-killed so there too there is reason for sympathy#so sometimes i feel like i could side with the villain in the right situation and sometimes it's like just like “Sacha Dhawan is rly hot”#which is also valid etc etc etc#remember kids if you write the wank in tags that makes it 95% less wanky :D somehow
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girl-bateman · 5 months ago
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it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif
#i know the fact that i faint every couple of days and go a little blind sometimes should be priority here#but it REALLY pisses me off how much and how quickly this (?) stress is aging me#id still like to look good even if i feel like shit. sorry#the worst thing is that im doing everything in my power to do all the right things#but since i dont actually KNOW why having sex affected me in such a weird way. I cant really take the proper steps to get over it#like.. i can treat the symptoms best i can but as far as the root of it all. i have no idea whats actually wrong or how to fix it#in some senses it seems pretty cut and dry- i cant remember my childhood. i was neglected. i have a bunch of issues#i have sex for the first time. i stop functioning. i go into a depressive episode. i cant sleep.eat.be around people#i feel paralyzed by fear at the most random of times and have to hide in a small space to feel safe again. i cry so much i pop an eye vesse#like CLEARLY something is wrong. and just in an objective sense it sounds like something bad happened a long time ago associated with sex#however ! life is more complicated than that and i think its unhelpful to make assumptions (yes im aware i might also be in denial lol)#i already know i have trauma so its not weird for me to exhibit trauma responses. and maybe that was triggered bc i wasnt ready to have sex#it doesnt have to have a sinister explanation. it might just be as simple as me not vibing with the guy and regretting it later#idk. obviously my reaction to it is violently out of proportion. but i might just be a sensitive person !#does that sound silly or reasonable? reading it back i still kinda wonder if its just the denial speaking but idk!#i really really wish i just knew what was wrong so that i could actually start to move on#i know im bumming u guys out talking about it but i cant exactly talk to my family and im trying to not unload everything onto my friends :#bc as supportive and wonderful as they are i can tell they feel bad and have no idea what to say#which is fair enough bc its a really weird situation! so i dont want to burden them more than what i have to for my own sanity#tw#?#diary entries
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hella1975 · 1 year ago
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i got a bonus + raise and ive only been working like 3 months im soso excited sorry i just wanted to tell someone
AH THAT'S SO EXCITING! im so happy for you bestie <3
#WHEN IS IT MY TURN!#did i tell you guys that there's a waitress at work who not only is younger than me BUT has only been there like 2 months#and me and one of the OG waitresses (she's been there even longer than i have and there's a real solidarity amongst the OG crowd now)#were talking to this waitress and she goes 'oh yeah i get paid £10.18 an hour lol. DONT tell anyone'#and to contextualise this england has minimum wages that differ based on age brackets#where it's like £5 for under 18s. £7.49 for 18-20 (my bracket) and then it jumps to £10.18 when you turn 21#so this 19 YEAR OLD NEW WAITRESS was getting paid the wrong minimum wage bracket that baso saw her earning £3 extra an HOUR#than us. which is an insane amount to build up over a long time like ik it doesn't sound like much but TRUST ME it is#and i felt a bit bad for her bc she's new to waitressing and generally quite naive and it SHOWS#like if they put ME on the wrong pay bracket id take that shit to my grave i would NOT risk that being taken from me#but she was just joking with us clearly expecting a PLATONIC social interaction and not a WORKPLACE interaction#like at the end of the day im friends with the people i work with and i not only like this girl but hold nothing against her#BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR IT TO AFFECT MY LITERAL WAGES!!!! I NEED THAT MONEY!!!!!#so yeah me and the other waitress fully snitched and i kinda hoped management might give us some sort of hush bonus#but all they did was lower the girl to the appropriate wage which. fair and again i feel bad for her but WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT#so yeah thats MY luck with wages anonstie lmao ur thriving in comparison <3#ask
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rubberbandballqueen · 1 year ago
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hmm. certainly says something when i can recognize every single word my dad uses to tell 阿嬤 abt jesus.
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lieutenant-amuel · 2 years ago
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Hmm one day I’ll have to figure out my characters’ MBTI types.
#Personal#To be fair I’m super interested in this topic but#I’m just not sure my typing will be objective enough because most of them got their types on the very early stages of my writing x)#Anyway for now I’m sticking with Valerio being an ENFJ or ESFJ#He’s clearly a Fe dom user but honestly I’m not sure about his auxiliary function#I mean he might seem dwell into his past but he’s rather ignoring it which is why it can’t let him live a normal life#Hmm does it mean he’s in the Fe-Ne loop?#Like he tries to find different possibilities for having a bright future#but since he doesn’t rely on one of his main functions (Si) it doesn’t work out#Wait it does make sense#Akajjdkfm but I want him to be an ENFJ#I’ll need to think about it deeper someday#Okay so Ángel is clearly an ESFP and Frida is either an INFJ or INTJ#Matías seems like a Ti dom user because in his and Valerio’s duo he’s the one who always holds a braincell so he’s an ISTP#Emilio is an INTJ and he seems to be in the Ni-Fi loop#Verónica hmmmm ENTP maybe?#To be fair I barely know anything about her so I really don’t know XD#But she’s creative and can think objectively which does sound like NeTi I think#And INTJ and ENTP are the perfect match :D#As for Leticia I need to write her more often to figure it out but for now I think of her as an ENFP#And Gabe himself is an ESTJ#Wait wait wait wait coming back to Valerio’s MBTI#He does seem to be in the Fe-Se loop as well considering how much he cares about what other people will say about his scars#Like he cares about his image A LOT and wants others to perceive him as a wise and kind Señor Álvarez even though he’s not really is#And he tries to distract himself from his dark thoughts and memories via the sensory world which is kinda why he became a teacher#He just HAD to do something so he wouldn’t lose his mind#Plus the main thing about his arc is not accepting his past (although it’s still a big part of it)#but rather finding a true purpose in his life which is not teaching actually#Anyway Valerio clearly can’t be in both loops at the same time it’s just me trying to figure out his actual type aksjdmkf#But idk I might be biased but him being an ENFJ sounds more realistic because really he never used Si even when he’s not under stress
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