#which don't get me wrong had it's issues
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Realised I never heard how Donbrothers ended, so looked it up and…
… Yeah. Glad I dropped it. Not my cup of tea at all.
#Firebird Randomness#I'm gonna back away slowly from the people claiming Inoue is suited to Sentai#thanks gods they sensibly put it in the ymmv#bc I strongly disagree#from what I've seen this was a downgrade from a really wonderful feel good Sentai like Zenkaiger#which don't get me wrong had it's issues#Stacey ground the whole show to a halt several times#Zox was painfully out of focus#same w/ Zyuran by the end#but it was great fun and#well I didn't want to throttle any of the characters by the end#sigh#Western toku fans I will never understand ye
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asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)
[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.
The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.
Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"
More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"
In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."
A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]
[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff#bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH....#when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of#asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want#maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him...#and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up#please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it.#and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first#time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate#wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask.#wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point#but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely.#bc he loves him a lot. but anyway#i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs#ruporas art
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
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Still wild to me that the Avatar team saw a guy write a love story between a stick and a monkey and were like "This is the guy who we need to write Rangshi and Yangvik" and then he ended up making two of the best couples in all of the Avatar-verse TT0TT
#rangshi#yangvik#'a stick and a monkey?' did I stutter?#listen they knew they wanted to make Kyo's love life messy and were like 'HIM! THAT'S THE GUY! GO HAM!'#of course by the 2nd novel i was shipping the stick and the goddess but that wasn't intentional on Yee's part#willllld that Iron will came out AFTER RoK#maybe some of the yuri rubbed off on his writing kjfdsakljfda#i did like the stick and monkey romance in Epic crush tho don't get me wrong they are fun#it's just that Iron Will they get shoved to the side for uhhh *reads palm* “sisterhood” hmm uh huh yeah that's what that is hmmm#I know this man CAN write sisterhood. Jetsun is proof#i think the issue is that the monkey gets sidelined waaaaay tooo much in the 2nd novel#listen all i'm saying is that genie has a boyfriend.......BUT she also gets two girlfriends in Iron will ok it's a poly situation#Please come back for the Szeto novel FC Yee! *pray emoji*#Have Szeto make out with a volcano and that's how he learns lava bending~! <3 *pray emoji*#(y'all need to read both Epic Crush and Iron Will of Genie Lo bc you'll see A LOT of how both Kyo and YCs novels were influenced)#(it's really fun to see)#guanyin is like if kirima and yangchen merged (and had the voice of chaisee...if you're listening to the audio book)#genie is 100% the rangshi love child#there's a yun/jianzhu dynamic in this too but it plays out differently which is fun#ahhh there's a lot I need to re-read it tbh but i like them#RoK/LoY/1st half SoK>2nd half SoK/Epic Crush>DoY>>>Iron Will#That's how I'd rank the novels imo (tho I REALLY do love Iron Will's ending#I'm just a little....hmmm eh on how we got there....but it's a much better/happier ending than what Kyo got so :'D I'll take it)#epic crush of genie lo#iron will of genie lo
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this is LITERALLY their dynamic in a nutshell
#they're literally both repressed™#the different is that lance is stigmatized as someone who 'obviously has issues bc why else would he be acting out'#vs ilana who also has trauma but bc she comes across as someone who's seemingly well put together#ppl just assume that she's fine actually and she's nothing AT ALL like her brother bc well she turned out fine right (WRONG)#that's not even getting into the fact she has what is basically the entire weight of the world on her shoulders#her father literally tells her that if he DIES she's galaluna's last hope#the whole reason why they had to flee galaluna and the earth being threatened by giant monsters now is bc of HER#literally everything goes back to her and given how lance is the mission takes top priority and he reminds them why they're here#which don't get me wrong i get that but at the same time i don't imagine being CONSTANTLY#reminded of that by a guy who's practically the same age as you and is doubling as your personal bodyguard/brother isn't exactly great#basically both of them are trans teens and are (SEVERELY) traumatized#what did you think the Ts in titan stand /j#sym bionic titan#robi rambles
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the thing that I really feel about male contraception is it doesn't matter how much you trust your partner because you are simply not always in control of what happens to you. and if shit happens you're going to want to know your bases are covered. you cannot guarantee your partner will be honest but more importantly you cannot 100% guarantee you will only have sexual contact with your partner, and that may not be in your control, and if nothing happens you're fine and if something does happen pregnancy on top of that is the last thing you fucking need
(nb I have been pregnant multiple times and I didn't start hormonal contraception until I was like 28 because I'm afraid of doctors. so my high horse is like. subbasement level. this is a reflection of my innermost feelings not a judgement call.)
#red said#i trust my partners totally with contraception. although condoms do have a baseline failure rate which is not a trust issue#but that's the thing right#with stuff like condoms there's all the situational stuff like trust aide you might not notice it tear.#you might get carried away and not have one on you.#but hormonal contraception doesn't have those issues and it can really fuck with periods so i understand why people are like#MEN SHOULD HAVE TO TAKE THE CONTRACEPTION#but like. i have had Experiences when it comes to the amount it doesn't matter to people i don't want to have sex with who do it anyway#what my boundaries are around contraception. i trust my partners and the people i choose to have sex with.#sometimes. you don't choose to have sex. look out for yourself cause your body is in your own control in that way#plus if your partner also took contraceptives it wouldn't hurt to double up. just like mixing physical and hormonal contraception#anyway sorry to do rape mentions of of nowhere i just kept seeing posts about male contraceptives and it's a Thing for me#i get that the responsibility shouldn't be all on us but I'm the one getting fucked up if it goes wrong so i wanna be in direct control
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finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it
#N posts stuff#like don't get it wrong it Is Not a series about being autistic it Is a series about raising an autistic kid#but also don't be put off by that because it's legitimately a series that I feel Loves autistic people with its whole being#it's kind of a teaching manga so it showcases a lot of different opinions/characters/conflicts/etc. but the Framing is very consistent#in that the manga is Extremely of the opinion that autistic people are People who deserve to be Valued and Accepted As They Are#the onus for change is never put on autistic individuals the framing is basically Universal in the 'the World needs to change#to be more accepting' -- it's a very Social Model depiction of autism that ALSO never veers too far into the#'autism isn't even Really a disability' fallacy; it's very much a 'A lot of autistic people will need constant support in a variety of ways#throughout their lives but that isn't the roadblock preventing them from having their own lives; ableism in society is the roadblock'#the first two chapters are the hardest to get through bc they take place before Sachiko has any real understanding of autism and#so she's isolated and stressed out and the ignorance makes it difficult for her to care for Hikaru properly (there's also a lot of#other characters Blaming her for what's going on which goes unchallenged at this point though that changes later); but after she#understands what autism is she's Firmly in Hikaru's corner for the rest of the series - you can skip right to ch 3 without a problem#if you're not interested in reading about that initial conflict#there's still a Lot of conflict ofc but by then the chapters have some of my favorite moments so i don't want to advocate skipping#them; like Hikaru's daycare teacher explaining how Hikaru's difficulty speaking is the same as other kids' troubles with#things like jump-roping/etc.; and then a mother who has An Issue with Hikaru's presence in her daughter's class realizing the#depth of the problematic opinion bc Her mother (who had a stroke) faces similar ableism from her peers#i'm cutting this post off b4 the tags get Too long but if you're curious but still hesitant man. send me an ask and i will Happily#write an insanely long essay about how much i love this series; i have all the books i'm not excited about the online availability#for Me i'm excited bc i've been wanting to rec this manga for like almost a full decade and i can finally give you a link instead of#saying 'well. you can find used copies sometimes' lol
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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition
Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another
You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed
Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)
Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can
I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that
Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn
#I won't say anything else on this; but I will say that to me one of the groups that it feels like is most forgotten is Syrians#including by me if I'm honest#I don't know what's currently happening in Syria... but... my understanding is it still hasn't really gotten better#assad is still brutalizing people last I had heard#so rather than saying anything else I'd prefer to simply focus on some people it feels like were forgotten back during Obama#and... and have remained forgotten#and I'm sorry I can't do more to help with the suffering in the world#but... you notice what I'm not having to do here?#I'm not having to throw a single other person under the bus#I'm able to just focus on how much I wish for Syrians to be ok (which is a hollow gesture on my part in many ways I think)#and I can keep all the focus on Syrians rather than throwing anyone else under the bus or doing any whataboutism#and that's literally all I'm asking of you fucking people#don't downplay human misery to try and make your thing seem more important#they're both fucking important... they're all important#there's so much suffering I can't even keep up with it#there's so much of it that I can only name without knowing the details; Congo; I believe Sudan is still suffering; Haiti#I don't know how things are in Ethiopia right now... I can't keep track#and none of these situations and the horrible things they're dealing with; things I haven't even been able to follow#none of it detracts from and of the issues I am following more closely#I don't need to compare them and say 'well it's not as bad'; because... bad is bad and any is too much#and nothing I say here will do a damn thing; no one'll hear and even if they did they'd ignore it or get pissed#that's what my evidence shows me about how people behave#but suffering isn't a competition; the correct amount is zero#and... perhaps I'd have more tolerance if I hadn't watched how you behave with stuff#...the worst part is the person I adore who... man... I wish I could just get them to really think through their words#they mean well; they're coming from a place of love; but I just haven't been able to paint the picture for them of the harm#and I'm flawed; I don't have all the answers; I could be wrong here#but... can you at least see why I feel that maybe we shouldn't pit misery against each other#that the people suffering have more in common with each other than opposed and... maybe westerners aren't fucking helping#eh... too fucking drained thinking about this; end of tags
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at the oral surgeon and barely spent any time in the waiting room, where I could have been fooling around in my sketchbook and Vibing. I have, however, spent a LOT of time sitting here waiting in the exam room after watching their friendly informed consent video about how all procedures involving sedation include a risk of death
#cool vibe thanks#I could see my lovely little car from the waiting room I could have been sketching...#okay well he came in while I was writing tags and suggests it sounds like local anesthetic and novacaine might be better for me anyway#but also I can Think About It and let them know ahead of my actual appointment#which is nice#THE THING IS I'M NOT SURE LMAO.#I am very afraid of general anesthetic tbqh but I also don't wanna be Miss Big Balls and do it awake and be Wrong about being fine :'D#getting a filling has so far been Fine though....#doc: it's easier for me if you're awake? but we recommend anaesthesia for very bad anxiety-- I'll be drilling I may have to cut the bone etc#me: I mean the Drilling Sounds have never been my problem but I've never had a man digging chunks of tooth out of the depths of my flesh SO-#I'm gonna consult with my team (people who have had theirs out already) and see what we think I guess#my mom said hers went great and she went to work the next day and had no issues and I BET she stayed awake. similar types of anxiety I think#meanwhile justin severely oversold how horrible the anaesthetic shots are for fillings so I'll take his counsel with a grain of salt#about me
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#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art#that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute#unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain#and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all#because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality#(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates)#(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates.#OR RATHER#for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck'#I think that works best)#(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong]#sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly#(she's the part I want to draw)#she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have#but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be#and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says#feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that)#so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating#(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen)#diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon#idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message#don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it#stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry#jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times#(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy#not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail#but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow.#it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it#(and NOT in that order)#in the bathroom sink
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i just think it's so funny that when *i* lash out and start bitching *about* management to my coworkers because of a stressful day at work, i get pulled into the office to discuss my attitude, but when a manager lashes out and bitches *at me* because of a stressful work day, i get a halfassed "oh sorry, but-" and i'm expected to roll over and take it.
#ace rambles#negative//#boss prompted us to stop talking and keep it moving. okay sure whatever.#i lightheartedly asked what the rush was because we were almost done for the day#boss immediately snaps and starts yelling about how she's been busting her ass and hasn't gone to lunch yet#and she's ''not gonna watch four people stand and talk'' while she busts her ass#we were standing there for maybe thirty seconds. i didn't put you in that fucking situation girl#you're flying off the handle at the wrong guy#and i just know that if i had lashed out like that at her it would have at BEST been another ''conversation''#and more likely i would have been written up#i guess it's just another reminder that she's my boss. not my friend.#because if she were my FRIEND i would have been able to explain to her that that was incredibly hurtful#and that it really could have been just a minor issue at most#but i can't exactly look my boss in the eye and say ''hey you major overrracted and really hurt my feelings''#i've tried it with other managers and it doesn't end well#and look. i'm no stranger to getting frustrated and losing my cool.#it's a thing i'm actively trying to get better about but i'm big enough to admit that i have a long way to go.#the fact that she yelled at me isn't even what's bothering me#it's mostly the fact that i did not get a real apology and i really doubt i will.#and if i try and bring it up tomorrow or later then *i'm* going to look like the one who's overreacting and can't let it go#which tbh i probably maybe am?#i think i'm probably being stupid but i have a bad history with yelling and anger#which i don't need to get into you guys know the origin story already#whatever man#i want to cry but i'm in public still
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Absolutely evil that my character arc has to be contained in 80 or so years. That is simply not enough time to sort out whatever I have going on.
#reasons why immortality would fix me#don't get me wrong. I'm sure immortality would give me plenty of other issues#but at least it would let me slow down the way I need to#only 24 but I feel like I have wasted my life thus far by not knowing what I want from it#and the older I get the harder I find it to trust things to last and people to stay#which is not great because I've always had issues with that to begin with#it is so difficult to watch the people I love figure themselves out while I still feel so lost and alone :')#I try to be happy for them but I think I might just be a jealous petty person unfortunately#I want to find beauty in transience but it scares me so much!#everything I've ever let go of has claw marks in it etc. etc.
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hey friendly reminder: you can enjoy reading/writing sports rpf without shaming those that don't like rpf (and vise versa for that matter!) 🥰🥰🥰
#fandom wank#ish#hockey rpf#sports rpf#rpf#this is directed at nobody in particular and this isnt a personal attack#there was just a post i came across about this subject that... really rubbed me the wrong way and i hope it was a joke post#im not going to repeat what it said but... idk it just felt kinda gross#like im not against rpf and i've made references to it in the past!#and i'll admit i've written a few of my own (that i most likely will never publish because they're mostly vents)#but like... my blog is not an rpf blog and i don't plan on getting involved in rpf entirely#and unless it actually references rpf (like my gay hockey moments posts- which were intended to be satire anyway)#i dont want my posts being associated with rpf or tagged with rpf (or related terms)#especially my art pieces#thankfully i havent had any issues but like this is a psa that not every hockey fan is involved with rpf#and also a friendly reminder to please respect peoples boundaries????
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#i was ranting in a groupchatt with my close and not so close friends about a thing at work#there was a client at work who was commenting on my body and i had a talk with her and i'm just mad over all of it#and then this guy is putting the blame on me for having a talk with her because she has a no filter and cant control what she is saying#because of her mental illness#but i just wanted to rant because she triggered me and my body image issues#i did NOT need to hear how i was wrong for blaming her for triggering me#i just wanted to rant about my feelings#not hearing that i did my job wrong#which i also don't think i did because we have to have a chat with the clients when somethings off#but he always acts like this ughh like GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE#i'm so mad sorry#also for context i work at a nursing home for elders with mental illness#rant
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it's fun to look through datamined stuff but I need some of you to stop getting mad at larian for scrapping ideas you thought were cool. cool doesn't mean it'll make sense in the overarching story, and maybe larian likes this version better, or sometimes ideas just didn't work well with what they had in mind. I know this first hand from writing stories, I'll have cool ideas but realize later it doesn't fit the original tone of the story. it's okay to scrap stuff, but you can always use it for something else.
also, like it or not, it's larians game first, their story, their characters (I know.), it doesn't matter if we think something is cool, the reality is that not everything works in the end. and that's fine. that's how all art is, it's alive and ever-shifting, it'll go through many, many, versions, to the point where you might get sick of chewing on the same plot, and in the end the final version might not be as good as you thought when you look back in a few months or years. and that's ok. art isn't supposed to be perfect.
everything is subjective and I think fandoms would be a more intellectual place if people learned to critique art for what it is not what it isn't.
#of course don't get me wrong i have my own issues with the game that completely counters my point#but im not gonna sit around being upset over what could've been#overall i enjoyed bg3 i wouldn't have 600hrs if i didn't#to me this is like asking why an artist painted the forest instead of the dragon that was just out of frame#ofc you think the dragon is cooler but if the artist never told you they went to the dragon forest youd appreciate the forest for what it i#in art its like. the negatives elevate your subject. sometimes less is more no matter how cool it is#idk if im making sense ive been feeling sentimental about art recently and this is my favourite philosophy when it comes to my work#this isn't to say roll over and accept any art. always be critical always be a hater but the skill is knowing when and how#also im a believer of steal like an artist so if larian had cool ideas they didn't use? guess what? yours now. go crazy#i didn't mean for this to turn into a philosophy lesson on art but. theyre related#can you tell that ive gone insane from rewriting the same story bc i couldn't decide which version i liked better. i finally got it tho yay#oh god typo in the gc.... kill him . im not fixing that#six speaks#bg3#larian critical
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