#which does not excuse his attitude but could explain it better

[wild-magic-oops]

Did god!Gale really forget about Tav/Durge until Withers's party? My headcanon about the topic:

I've got thoughts about god!Gale again and yes, he has changed since ascension in a predictably negative godly way, however the fact that he seemingly had forgotten about Tav/Durge doesn't exactly align with what else I see in the epilogue. And this is not me trying to make this ending better bc I like it btw. It just bothers me that things don't match and I like to headcanon about it, so kindly ignore if you don't agree.

1: Gale's reaction to breaking up with him/refusing ascension is quite telling about his feelings imo. He's visibly sad and disappointed about this outcome and still seems to genuinely love Tav/Durge. And his is not the kind of reaction you get from someone who just forgot their lover existed for months.

2: In his godhood path Gale combats his insecurities with ascension but predictably, that doesn't fix them. So he's still very much insecure about power and self-worth, particularly when others find him lacking. And now it hurts extra much because he sees himself as an improved version of what he was before. And when even that is not enough...

3: He still ascends Tav/Durge and personally, I don't buy that he does it just because he promised. I doubt making a new god is considered something to be done lightly. But moreover, being the god of ambition, making more competition for himself just bc of a promise mortal!Gale made is not productive and imo he realizes that very well. Perhaps he wants an ally, which is definitely more believable. But that still makes him forgetting all about Tav/Durge unlikely.

4: His excuse for not contacting Tav/Durge is that time works differently in Elysium and then not 2 minutes later he says that there are already shrines built for him and a big temple in the making. There's no way he didn't realize how much time has passed in the mortal realm.

Ofc you can argue that it was just a handy excuse and that he thinks a mortal is too stupid to see through it. And while he definitely has a bit of a condescending attitude going on now, it doesn't go that far imo. Personally I have another headcanon:

god!Gale postponed meeting Tav/Durge because he was afraid that he would still not be enough for them, especially after realizing he couldn't topple Mystra. That was certainly a bruise to the ego. So he stalled, built his reputation and power a bit, so when he finally meet his lover again, he would have actual things to brag about, and not just the ascension itself. A Tav/Durge who pushed Gale on his godhood path is one that had made Gale feel unworthy about his previous state (or rather - reinforced his feelings about it), so Gale has enough reasons/doubts to believe that maybe he still would not be enough in their eyes.

The thing about ambition is that nothing's ever enough, there always needs to be more more MORE MORE. And that combined with Gale's unresolved issues imo could explain why he didn't seek out Tav/Durge before Withers's invitation.

[livmightlive]

B-PLOT

In a nation far away from the Quesadilla Archipelago sits a police state off the anarchist continent of 2b2t. Fit is a refuge from 2b2t and takes the first job he can get when he gets to the police state: vampire hunter. 

Fit doesn’t have any moral obligation to this, as growing up in 2b2t all vampires he had encountered had been aggressive and dangerous. With the first place he moves to promoting anti-vampire propaganda, Fit has no reason to believe that they aren’t essentially intelligent zombies.

Before his nighttime shifts, Fit stops by a 24/7 dinner each night to have a meal and some coffee. There he meets Pac, a cute young waiter who also happens to run the night shift ;) They get chummy and eventually Fit realizes that he likes Pac, leading to him fighting internalized homophobia (which should be the least of his worries). 

Getting to know Pac better, Fit finds out that Pac lives with a roomate, Mike. At first he worries that he’s crushing on somebody who’s taken. Fit asks Pac to “hang out” outside of work during daylight hours, but he refuses each time usually using Mike as an excuse. Eventually Pac explains that Mike is essentially his brother and he has to spend a lot of time taking care of him because he’s incredibly sickly. Pac says that he has to spend a lot of time working in order to pay for both of them and is often too exhausted during the day for any activity. This leads to Fit greatly admiring Pac for being so selfless.

Eventually they get to talking about Fit and his profession after spending many dinners together. (fit worries because despite pac taking his dinner break with Fit, he hardly eats and refuses all offers for Fit to pay for his dinner). Fit often tries not to talk about his job, as it’s dirty business, but eventually opens up to Pac. Unexpectedly to Fit, this makes Pac a lot more uncomfortable than he thought it would. Pac was such an empathetic listener, Fit was certain he’d understand. 

Pac starts to almost grill Fit, asking if he’s killed vampires who weren’t hunting before. He asks if Fit kills all vampires he comes across. He asks if Fit has ever met one that didn’t seem so bad. Fit, understandably, gets defensive. Yes, he kills all vampires. If he doesn’t, him, Pac, and Mike would all fall to their hands. They cannot get too powerful. 

Pac falls quiet at this. His demeanor is scarily different. It’s almost… demure… embarrassed? Is he scared. Fit tries to apologize for snapping, but Pac stops him. He admits to having met a vampire he thought to be kind before and had heard of vampires and people coexisting in other nations. He begs Fit that if he were to ever come across a vampire that seemed kind or redeemable to spare it. Fit says tries to explain that those thoughts are false, and dangerous, but Pac just smiles at him, hoarsely whispers a goodnight, and disappears into the dimly lit kitchens of the diner. 

Fit doesn’t see Pac again after that experience and it plagues him at night. Of course he’s briefly considered the morality of killing vampires and the fact that there are nations that live with vampires, but those thoughts have never kept him alive before. Yet now they plague him. He’s aware of his new nations authoritarian presence and considers that it’s propaganda regarding vampire-friendly nations could be falsified. After all, Fit grew up in a land that ran entirely on anarchy. Anything is possible and he’s not necessarily naive. 

He considers the fact that maybe Pac is naive, but knows that Pac is actually so so smart. He does online classes for his degree in chemical engineering after all. Fit still tries to convince himself that vampires are mindless beasts, but it’s harder to settle now. On a sidebar, a vampire likely took Fit’s arm, contributing to his attitude on them.

Of course shortly after his conversation with Pac, Fit meets Ramon. During one of his nighttime sweeps, Fit hears the unmistakable sound of human eating noises and the splatter of what could only be blood coming from an alley. He turns the corner and finds Ramon absolutely tearing into the carcass of a rat. 

Fit hesitates for a few reasons, Ramon is the youngest vampire he’s seen yet, being barely around 10 years old, he isn’t eating a human, and he flinches away from Fit. Fit comes to his senses, a bit surprised that Ramon hasn’t sprang for his face yet. He gets ready to give the fledgling a swift death, but Ramon begins to speak, begging him not to make it hurt. Fit has heard vampires speak before, but this was the first time one spoke kindly to him. Fit finds himself unable to hurt the kid. He takes off his overcoat, throws it over Ramon’s bloodstained body. 

He takes in Ramon and finds out that many of his biases against vampires are unjust. Ramon explains that a lot of vampires actually intermingle in society but many can’t. Ramon can’t because he’s a child and would likely get discovered quickly. Ramon explains that a lot of vampires can sustain off of meat and animal blood, but ultimately it’s not enough and only human is truely filling. Without as least some human blood, most vampires will become very weak, thought they likely won’t die unless they stop eating completely.

Fit feeds Ramon all the meat he could want and eventually convinced Ramon to feed from himself as well. It takes a lot of time and conviction. Ramon is almost aggressive by the time he agrees. Fit eventually finds out that Ramon wasn’t even turned a year ago. He was a street rat who was kidnapped and forced to join a fighting ring. Spreen was a captive vampire that was forced to bite and turn Ramon. Spreen broke the two of them out and watched over Ramon for a few weeks before leaving. During that time Spreen taught Ramon a lot of hard lessons and wasn’t very kind to him. He left suddenly leaving Ramon to have to adapt quickly. 

What Spreen never told Ramon was that he only was cruel to strengthen him. He left so suddenly because he knew that their former captors had his scent and would soon kill him. Unfortunately, Ramon never knew these things and nobody would, forever giving him a complicated outlook on his sire.

Between working nights and now raising and “feeding” a kid, Fit is exhausted. One very early morning during one of his patrols, Fit comes across a vampire eating the corpse of a person. It’s Pac. He and Fit make eye contact and Pac bursts into tears, incoherently apologize while scrambling away. Fit assures Pac that he won’t kill him. 

Pac explains that he was turned a few years ago in prison and just barely escaped with Mike. They didn’t mean to end up in their current nation, as they were aiming for one that didn’t kill vampires, but ended up settling as they regained strength and money to travel. Meat wasn’t enough to sustain Pac so he began hunting bad people from anonymous tips on the dark web. It got too dangerous after a vampire hunter caught him onetime and nearly killed him so Mike insisted that he were to feed from him, 

It wasn’t sustainable and eventually Mike became very anemic leaving Pac to support both of them. Despite being sickly, Mike still insists that Pac feeds from him until he no longer can, hence his and Fit’s unfortunate meeting. Fit takes Pac home where Pac is certain that Fit will kill him. He begs Fit to take care of Mike, as he deserves nothing bad to come to him. Fit tries to reassure him, but Pac is inconsolable. He finally calms down when Fit introduces him to Ramon.

Fit quickly meets Mike, who at first is very distrustful of him, but comes around. They all move in together and start pooling money and plan to escape. It’s hard with Pac and Ramon’s diet and Mike’s poor health, but they just barely pull it off and end up in Quesadilla Island :)

also I forgot to mention last post but I’d love it if anybody wanted to talk about their own questions, thoughts, or own aus

[yesmiralotta]

I feel so bad

I was in a thread. Defending Stolas, beacuse I don't see him as a abusive character in the way the antis do, I guess. And then one person comes in. And I am stating to feel like a bad person. Was I in the wrong here. I am shit at explaining things, and I really didn't try to offend anyone. I was just saying what my opinions are. I am crying right niw and I feel like never having an opinion again!

Them: There's a certain point you shouldn't respect someone's opinion. You sound like republicans saying "Agree to disagree" and what we disagree on is the right for people to live. Ignoring what is overtly abusive behavior isn't going to make it less abusive. All it does is normalize it for people who are less experienced.

Me: That's not what I was trying to get a across. And I respect your guys opinion on hating Stolas, so can you guys respect that I don't see him that way. Like, it's a cartoon we are talking about here. It can be interpeted in different ways because it's not real. Again. I do think that what Stolas did was not okay. But I think he is starting to change for the better. I belive that everyone desreves a second chance. And if it makes you feel better.IF I had to choose a side I would choose Blitzø. But it's not all black and white. And I am not going to choose sides on this. They are both broken and needs LOTS of help.

Me: I think people also forget that Blitzø is not afraid of Stolas. He mouthed of to Mammon. Blitzø is not scared of the higher ups. He could/would not let himself be intiminated like that. He's gone through to much shit for that.

Them: That isn't true because you are here commenting about how much you think you shouldn't have to respect our opinion. "He never did anything to ME so even though he abused you, I think I should not have to take sides and I'll still be his friend". Which is also the attitude you have.

Them: Coming here arguing with people and telling them they are wrong because you don't like the facts isn't respectful. And recognizing a lot of people who hate Stolas' do so because we are victims of narcissistic abuse and so recognize it readily while you defend that sort of person is inherently triggering, even when we have the space to not be personally invested or upset, we will never respect abuse defenders.

Them: And arguing that Blitz isn't afraid is to just entirely miss ... Everything. If you don't think people express fear as anger or lashing out, I wonder how you made it this far. After all, the terror response is literally "FIGHT or flight"

Me: I am sorry. I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. You don't have to like Stolas. Again. I am not saying what he did was right! I am just saying there is more to these characters. That's all. Again. Sorry. 100% sincerly. I didn't mean any harm.

Them: There is more to them, but how you decide to value that is a reflection of you. Dahmer brutally tortured and murdered young men of color and many people romanticize that as him being lonely and gay. John Wayne Gacy tortured and killed 33 boys between the ages of 12 and 18. He was also a victim of physical and sexual abuse. Does any of that matter? You can still see Stolas perspective and all the ways he was hurt and still have the sanity to say "that doesn't excuse what you did".

Them: When you start deciding that the abuse somebody went through is more important than the abuse that they inflict on others around them. That's a reflection of you. We're not even talking about the abuser anymore.

Am I an abuse apologizest? Am I a bad person for defending a character? It's just a cartoon right? I feel so fucking bad right now. I feel like I failed Blitzø. I feel like I shouldn't be in this fandom!! 😭 @lost-romantique @blitzsicedcoffee @hellaversity @firecrackerhh

Tagged some people I follow in the fandom 😢

[md-confessions]

Trigger Warning for abuse since I am going to be talking about it a lot.

My honest reaction to TSM anon's confessions/posts trying to justify J's treatment of N. (They're so ass)

Ok so uhh... Anyway I'll try to debunk some of the points:

First of all: yes the fuck she is abusive! Search the damn definition on Google or the dictionary, it's exactly what she's doing, like beat for beat.

Let's start with two examples: one from the manor and another from copper-9.

J kicking N in the manor flashback: for context N and V had literally just bumped into each other, made a spark and both were trying to clean up the mess they made, then comes in Ms. Tenth letter of the alphabet with a kick to N's face for like no fucking reason whatsoever.

J stepping on N's chest while he clearly struggles: In the pilot during the scene that introduces the Alphabet squad during J's introduction she has her foot on his chest while saying he's useless, terrible and if she could, she'd kill him herself and N is very clearly struggling to even breath.

Those two very clearly ARE abuse, the second one even has a tinge of verbal abuse!

Ok so TSM tried to justify both these actions by us not knowing the full context.

The context of the kick is that: there is none, that kick was completely unprovoked, so J had absolutely no reason for kicking N aside from him being in her way from the "move it moron" line, and she changes up her attitude completely at Tessa being there, her visor showing those hollow eyes that drones show when worried or scared.

But even if you say "oh but N was in J's way so she kicked him out" but she could have just, you know, MOVED A LITTLE BIT TO THE RIGHT?!?!? And also that does not excuse kicking a person in the face.

Context of the second scene is: THERE IS NONE, ONE AGAIN! The reason that scene exists is to show that A. J is abusive towards N, and B. J is a hypocrite! Let me explain, A is very self explanatory, stepping on someone's chest and verbally abusing them is very clearly well... Abuse and B is to show that even though she calls N useless, N has shown throughout the rest of the series he is a very competent fighter, arguably better than his fellow DDs and also that even though J was pretty much insulting N for being weak, she got killed by a Angsty bisexual 18-year-old with a pen and a Railgun made out of like, scrap.

I don't know how you can genuinely look at those scenes and go "J isn't an abuser" even though yes she fucking is.

Also I dead ass forgot that second post aside from the "why would Cyn put N in the squad if his abuser?" Part, which has a very simple explanation: it wasn't Cyn, it was Mr. Solver of the absolute fabric itself! It used Cyn as a host, Cyn wasn't in control, she prob has been dead for a long ass time.

The solver is sadistic and it likes fucking with the alphabet squad, take V as an example: it allowed V to keep her memories, just to make V's trauma even worse.

The solver thinks it's funny to traumatize people so why wouldn't it think putting a person in the same team as their abuser wouldn't be?

Anyways I've been typing this since 5:30 AM, and now it's 6:50 and I got school so I'll stop here, if you got anything else to add put it in the reblogs ig...

Final note: I haven't been abused myself (not that I remember) so I can't really fully grasp the concept, but still, J's treatment of N is like, the dictionary definition of Abuse, I'm very bad at understanding other people and their emotions and I'm not super great at analysing characters but this shit is so obviously abuse seeing TSM over here trying to say otherwise is giving me a brain aneurysm.

Anyways have a good day/evening/night or whatever time of day it is :D

.

[iamvegorott]

A New Fluffy Friend

Happy Birthday @bookwormscififan! Here’s some fluffy Madmare for you! ----------

A New Fluffy Friend

Mare had convinced Mad to go out shopping with him, taking him to his favorite bookstore first to get him happy and comfortable. Three books and a fancy bookmark later, he and Mad were back in the car and heading for their next destination. 

“Where are we going now?” Mad asked as he looked out the window, watching the buildings pass by until they reached a field with a singular building in the middle that was surrounded by a large fence. “A shelter?” His question changed after seeing the sign at the end of the long driveway. 

“I think our place could use a furry friend.” Mare casually shrugged. 

There was more thought beyond that with Mare’s plan. He’s caught on to Mad’s hesitation with meeting and getting to know the other Egos. So far he’s met the Septiceyes and even then he spoke to most of them through his phone and once in a blue moon, Anti would show up to take him out to do what Mare always assumed was something chaotic. Mare didn’t want to push Mad too quickly with getting to know everyone, having personal experience with how overwhelming it could easily become. Mad was still pretty new at just existing in general so Mare didn’t want to risk upsetting him too much but he still didn’t want Mad to feel so alone especially when he and Phantom went out on jobs and Blank would go on a playdate with Robbie. The house they lived in felt a lot bigger and empty when there was no one else in there. A pet should be a great help with that feeling and maybe be used as an excuse to see the other Egos more often. 

“I guess there’s nothing wrong with looking around.” Mad’s tone was one Mare was learning. It was what he used when trying to hide his excitement which was a good sign that Mare was making the right choice. 

“Can I help you two?” A young woman with a kind smile asked as Mad and Mare entered the building. 

“We’re looking to adopt our first pet,” Mare answered. 

“Wonderful! Do you know what kind of animal you have in mind?” 

“I’m not sure-”

“A cat.” Mad shocked Mare a little by speaking up, he had fully expected to take most of the lead and just watch which animal Mad liked the most.

“Perfect, we have a collection of kittens that just came in.” The woman kept her smile as she unlatched a wooden gate beside the desk, guiding Mare and Mad back toward the kennels. “If you’re still looking for supplies for a cat, I’d recommend the shop down on Fifth Street. I know the owners and they are very easy and open to talk to.” The woman continued as they walked. 

Mad looked into the cages they passed. Seeing the dogs either sleeping or chasing their own tails and then they got to the cat section. He kept looking around at the cats cleaning themselves or also sleeping. Mad stopped when he saw a specific cat in their own little cage. The cat was gray with white paws, the gray around their mouth and on their chest was lighter than the rest. Their nose was a bright pink, eyes a bright yellow and the cat seemed to have noticed Mad at the same time. 

“Mad?” Mare’s voice only echoed as Mad crouched down to get a better look at the cat.

“Oh! You found Cheese.” The woman’s eager voice seemed to waver for a moment. 

“Cheese?” Mare questioned the name.

“He was named after it since he was found in an ally digging into an old bag of cheese.” The woman explained. “I don’t want to sound mean, but he’s not good for a first-time owner. He has a bit of a…well…a bit of an attitude. If you’d prefer to not have a kitten, there are some other grown cats that are very affectionate.” 

“I like him.” Mad stuck his fingers through the cage wall, not hearing the sharp inhale of worry from the woman. The cat paused and sniffed Mad’s fingers before lightly purring and rubbing his face against him. 

“That’s-wow!” The woman was very surprised. “Cheese never does that.” 

“Mad’s not your average person.” Mare chuckled.

“Let me unlock his cage.” The woman took a set of keys out of her pocket and after unlocking the cage, the cat immediately jumped into Mad’s arms. 

“Can we take him home?” Mad asked both Mare and the woman.

“Of course!” The woman waved a hand at her face. “I think I’m going to cry! Let me get some paperwork and get Cheese to his new home as soon as possible.” She took off without another word.

“Can we take him home?” Mad asked Mare again, the cat purring loudly and nuzzling his neck.

“I feel like Cheese is going to try to follow us if we don’t take him.” Mare scratched the top of the cat’s head and was not expecting the look he was given. 

Apparently, the attitude the woman mentioned was actually a thing, something about Mad was different than everyone else. Maybe the cat just needed time with others, but Mad was so happy with the cat and Mare would be willing to wait forever for the cat to at least tolerate him if it let Mad keep his smile.

“I think we should change his name,” Mad said, using his thumb to rub the cat’s cheek. “How about Al?” The cat tilted his head. “Short for Albert and that’s short for Albert Einstein. You have to be a smart cat to like me.” Mad chuckled as the cat returned to his purring and softly mewed. “I think he likes it.” 

“Al the cat it is.” 

----------

@rattyboyisemo

[lyriumheart]

ok i finally have the braincells so here's some of my criticisms/pointing out of .... questionable content in bg3 that i've personally come across. it may get a bit long. apologies for if it's difficult to read, i'm just trying to lay out my thoughts here. some things are also more serious than others.

The Dark Urge this one is relatively small, as playing the dialogue for the dark urge kind of hints at it, but i do think that it needs a MUCH clearer indication that it can be dark and probably disturbing/distressing to play as. and also that it should probably not be reccomended for a first run, as it does change things quite a bit.

sexuality and romance choice i think it would just be helpful if, when a party member hits on you or shows interest, that you are able to say 'i'm not into girls/guys/anything at all'. and that this specifically shuts down their comments. i have a friend that was disappointed that he couldn't say this to lae'zel, and got further uncomfortable when she kept on saying 'you will wonder what i taste like' when he's a gay guy trying to play a gay guy. it would also be uncomfortable for someone not interested in that aspect of the game/romance and sex in general, i would imagine. also related to this, and i do understand why every single romanceable character is bisexual as this just makes things a lot easier, but i do feel that there should be characters that just are not bi, even just among npcs. there's some npcs in same gendered relationships which is good, though i think there needed to just be more characters that clearly are not bi. (though given the dragon age modding scene's track record, i also get just wanting to avoid that outright.)

trangender characters you the player character can be trans and i love this. i do wish there was a way to have the more feminine frames with a flatter chest, and vice versa, though. i mean we have genital options, but no chest options...? (also no weight or further body shape options but i digress). i also think i noted maybe, two? npcs? that were transgender? and i feel that there really needs to be more trans and nonbinary npcs, specifically prominent ones and not relegated to background characters that you blink and miss (which one of the ones i found was). bg3 has given me as a player far more options to play a trans nonbinary character than any game ive played thus far, but there needs to be more beyond just the player themself in terms of trans rep.

party member racism as a romani person myself, i found myself relating to the tiefling group quite a lot. i dont expect larian to not include fantasy racism in the game, but playing as a tiefling and having a party member, lae'zel, call you and your kind 'cockroaches' with no way to chew her out for it, and just having no proper way to direclty combat the racism of your party members in general is. very uncomfortable. astarion also has some lines like this, and while he does eventually change his attitude, i havent been able to change or confront that with lae'zel. not good for someone youre meant to adventure with and trust.

the goblins and treatment of the way that the goblins are depicted and treated (while not wholly larian's fault since they didn't make the setting- still not an excuse tho) could have been handled better. there are a few instances where you can stand up for them as being people without condoning their actions, but overall they are treated as 'dirty uncivilised tribals' and i hope i dont need to explain why that kind of depiction is bad. they're background cronies of the bbeg, explicitly revealed to having been manipulated and controlled into serving the bbeg, and any exploration of actual goblin culture is treated as a joke.

murdering goblin kids specifically is okay apparently on the topic of the goblins- i was appaled when i realised that in order to free halsin, you have to kill two goblin kids. in fact, if you choose to attack the whole goblin camp, you kill more goblin kids. nobody bats an eye at this. yet, when you do the reverse and attack the grove where there are children that you can kill/cause the death of, this is explicity treated as a bad thing. it's just disgusting that goblin children being killed is not given the same treatment, just because they're goblins.

ableist abuse is fine when the person was abusive to you first in the underdark in act 1 (and later in act 3 if you helped them), there is a dwarven? couple, baelen and derryth bonecloak. baelen has gone missing, and you can find and rescue him. he clearly has some kind of neurological disability, and has difficulty with verbal communication and his memory. his wife, derryth, berates him and treats him as stupid for his disability. you can confront her about it in act 1, and later in act 3 go snooping and find out more information about their relationship- baelen, prior to whatever caused his disability, was an abusive and evil man who beat her and gave her the facial scar she has, among other abuses. of course this abuse is horrific, but this is then used to justify derryth's own abuse of the man, since he now is reliant on her for food ect. she basically says that she can treat a disabled man however she wants because at least she cares for his needs and he abused her anyways so it's payback. i do believe that his disability does not override or excuse what he did in the past and that she has every reason to still hate him, but this still does NOT excuse this treatment of him now that he is disabled and relies on her as a caregiver. becoming disabled is not a fucking punishment and it's disgusting that larian even chose to include this kind of thing in their game at ALL. it's also worsened by the fact that i see many people commenting on how they're going to just kill him because he deserves it, and it's 'doing him a favour since he's disabled now'. this is the kind of sentiment that larian are encouraging by having this narrative in their game and as a disabled person myself, and someone who has family and friends who literally act the way baelen does with his disability, it is not fucking okay.

twin drow sex workers i hope i don't need to explain why it's fucking gross and creepy that larian have two sex workers in act 3 be twins that regularly participate in sex with the same client at the same time, and the player is also able to do so. some party members, such as karlach, comment on how them being literally brother and sister is gross, so it's not as if larian are not self aware enough to see why it's not good to fetishise incest. but they put it in there anyways! for the player to indulge in! and it's depicted as sexy! being a survivor of incest csa, i was pretty shocked and appaled by that inclusion. they could have very easily just had the two be runaway lovers. there was literally no need for them to be made twins.

sexual slavery and abuse is sexy when it's halsin if you do actually sleep with the aforementioned drow along with halsin, he will have a new dialogue where he talks about being held prisoner in the underdark 'chained to the bed, somewhere between a prisoner, a guest, and a consort'. so, he was kept as a sex slave and just slave and captive in general by drow for a while. the player can say that's horrible, but halsin brushes this off and says it wasn't so bad. because apparently he liked being kept as a sex slave? this is just brainwashing and coercive rape, larian. considering how they handled astarion's sexual abuse and slavery, it was outright shocking to learn that halsin's own abuse is handled so poorly and in fact turned into some weird bdsm fetish instead.

[askachroma]

tell faba i'd give him a little kiss on the cheek

(He is very embarrassed and also a bit shy)

I have so many more hcs guys,, if you’re still reading this, buckle up.

Okay, Faba’s not what you could really call a nice guy. He’s a bastard, with heaps of bitchiness on top, right. But I do like to think underneath all that he can be quite shy, and very considerate and loving of people he actually gives a damn about. Personally I hc him as being diagnosed really, really late with autism (like not until late twenties), which has given him a lot of social trauma. He’s late thirties now right so that’s given him so much time to build up resentment and bitterness towards everybody. He has the capacity to be nice, but with 99.9 percent of people he just thinks: what’s the point? It’s not like they deserve kindness. They never tried to include HIS socially awkward ass in anything, they were never understanding of HIS struggles.

He didn’t have a social life growing up, but you know what he did have? His brain. It’s the only thing he felt superior in, so he clung to that lifeline and gradually built his entire personality around it. He’s smarter, better than everyone, career orientated… it’s the only thing he feels he has going on for him so of course he’s going to gradually condition himself into being a workaholic. He even convinces himself he doesn’t even care about people at all, that he doesn’t want any kind of relationship because they’d distract him from his work. Of course eventually that does change— in fact, when he met his ex-wife and Colress and finally had a connection with someone, that was probably the only thing that saved him from completely going off the deep end honestly. ‘He’s bad now but he could have been way worse’, kind of thing. When he did get divorced from his ex though it just made him even more bitter and lonely and turned him absolutely desperate, causing him to cling onto his career and making very questionable decisions (AHEM rainbow rocket [although I’m still undecided if that’s a canon event in my au]) because he was just in a big, spiralling panic. Since then the friendship Colress (and now finally Knox) have shown him have softened him up a bit, but even so he’s still very distrustful and bitter.

I think that’s part of the reason I like writing him so much, because I can see bits of myself in him. The whole late diagnosis, not really fitting in with others and not knowing why, developing bitterness and a lot of fear because of it, I really get that. Of course, not everyone who is diagnosed with adult autism is going to be as hostile as Faba, (Or hostile at all. I may relate to the bitterness but I wouldn’t consider myself an asshole!!) but it’s definitely one of the things that can happen. Not that it excuses his shitty attitude/behaviour either, but it definitely explains it.

…Man. All that because of a ‘kiss on the cheek’ ask LOL

Realistically if someone he didn’t know well were to say they’d give him a kissy on the cheek, he’d probably be very cynical and think it was mockery, buuuut I do like drawing a soft Faba so I’ve taken some liberties with my hcs for this one.

TLDR: A late autism diagnosis gave Faba trauma, and now he’s making it everyone else’s problem, half consciously out of a want for revenge, half subconsciously because people frighten him (but he would never admit it)

[glindaupland]

The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | 동팬텀 x 송크리 Review 3/6

October 12, 2023

The Phantom of the Opera | 전동석 Jeon Dong-seok

Christine Daaé | 송은혜 Song Eun-hye

Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny | 황건하 Hwang Gun-ha

Carlotta Giudicelli | 이지영 Lee Ji-young

Round 2 of Jeon Dong-seok! Ah let's see what my excuse was this time... "How could I possibly let go of a center 5th row seat that I snatched? And a different Christine, Raoul, and Carlotta means it's a different experience!" Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, Elisa. But hey it was very different!!!

Here's my second silly little Dong-seok ticket holder because I booked both of his seats on Yes24. I was 5th row center this time, which was almost out of the chandelier's range and just ever so slightly more to the left than my previous seat. But this is still an incredibly close view …and I still brought my binoculars to stare everyone down despite that.

Hannibal Rehearsal / Think of Me

I'm really in love with Lee Ji-young Carlotta. She definitely acts like a very classy and elegant normally, but she's really cute and dramatic when she gets angry. She leans more into the Italian accent and the stubborn demanding diva attitude. I thought she fit very well with Park Hoe-rim's Piangi because of her personality and voice.

I like the detail right before 'Think of Me' starts when Song Eun-hye's Christine does this little throat clearing and nervous swallow. Her eyes were wide like a deer in headlights. Ji-soo acted more timid like she was about to melt on the spot, but she was about to bolt I think this is one of her best moments in the show. She's radiant and truly looks like a new soprano making her debut. Despite her voice still being a little strained from illness (you may or may not recall she was out a few days which resulted in the understudy Kwon Ga-min's very eventful debut), I still enjoyed her vibrant enthusiasm that shined through. Her cadenza is beautiful and she holds her last notes for such a long time before she gives the cutest proudest bow to complete the song. Hwang Gun-ha's Raoul is so funny when he gets up to cheer for Christine because he's really loud and boisterous. He's probably especially embarrassing for the managers to sit with bless his heart Unfortunately, you can't appreciate the full acting and extension of her notes with this video but you can still at least appreciate her voice:

Angel of Music/Little Lotte/The Mirror

She has lots of little girlish mannerisms in addition to the cute awkwardness before 'Think of Me'. When Meg wanted to know who taught her, Christine opened her mouth excited like she was about to speak, but then paused looking like she was very stumped about how to even begin explaining. After hugging Raoul, she was particularly flustered by the closeness and looked around nervously. She also looks at her hand and touches it in surprise when he kisses it on the way out of the dressing room. Gun-ha's voice is very unique and quite deep for a Raoul. His Raoul definitely has that charismatic aristocratic feeling. Some people find it strange, but it doesn't bother me honestly. My grievances to air are about other things that I'll explain later. I had a much closer view and better angle of 'The Mirror' this time both with and without binoculars (yes even that close I was pulling those out okay) so I was able to see the Phantom's face a lot clearer in the mirror. At one point he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply with his hand to his chest like he was really satisfied hearing her plea to him. I think SEH Christine's reacted to the Phantom like she finally needed to understand who her Angel of Music was. She was nervous, but looked slightly excited as well.

The Phantom of the Opera

I got to experience Dong-seok's third boat failure. That's four if you wanna include him crashing his Y&K Phantom boat (yes I'll always bring it up and make fun of that it's funny) I was wondering why the boat hadn't come out yet and I thought maybe it'd be okay when I saw the front peeking out a bit even though it was oddly coming out from the side rather than the back...and then I saw him uselessly rowing without moving until he just gave up. Anyway, Jesus miracles were performed once again! He very sweetly guided Christine, lighting the way for her and showing off the view. They looked at each other when they sang the "fantasies/secrets" line and he lifted her chin up to meet her eyes. He smiled when he nodded once with SJS, but because of the unique situation here, it seemed even sweeter. :') Also, since I was so close, I could see the doubles they used for the walkway above with my binoculars

The Music of the Night

SEH Christine takes a bit longer to warm up to the Phantom. She started off more hesitant and wary yet still curious. I wouldn't say she's afraid, just uncertain. JDS Phantom was especially awkward and inexperienced, even more than the last time. He felt like a younger man experiencing his first love. I just think he feels and tries to be seductive, suave, romantic, etc, but he gets so overstimulated easily that he ends up fumbling. It was like she was an alluring fire that he was drawn to, but he kept foolishly burning himself getting too close. Like before, he touched her shoulder lightly and briefly, but pulled back nervously with a wavering voice before using his other arm to wrap around her. But you could see a bit of subtle relief when she relaxed in his arms. I remember Christine sort of nuzzling in closer to him which gave him more confidence to lean in as well. He was still a little shaky though trying to hold in his emotions By the end of the song SEH Christine a lot more at ease with the Phantom and actually captivated by him. She was finally starting to understand the beauty of this music of the night that he was trying to show her. Both Christines would get very moved at the end with watery ears, but I think this is the show I actually saw the tears falling from one of them. I could see him wiping the tears from her face gently when he had put his cloak over her at the end

Stranger Than You Dream it

I'm trying not to laugh typing this, but I think the pose he had here when he turned to face her looked so...here I'll leave this:

It was this, but he was angry and covering his face with the hand that's not holding him up and leaning forward more. Everyone else was on their knees, but he had to stick his long leg all the way out for some reason which is really not important or notable I guess, but I found it amusing okay SEH Christine always watches the Phantoms while SJS looks down until the end when she starts to feel bad for him. He and Christine had a moment where they reached out to each other at the end of the crawl almost touching before he turned away quickly. I don't think she was really fully afraid of his appearance. It seemed more like his reaction was what upset her. She looked disappointed that she couldn't reach him

Notes I/Prima Donna

LJY Carlotta is so perfectly expressive and she matches so so well with Piangi. I love how she started off Prima Donna so pouty-faced. It seems like she's slowly warming up, trying to hold back from showing that their words are sort of pleasing her because she's still mad and stubborn (and maybe it's also so they can continue showering her with praise)

Il Muto

SEH Serafimo is so sassy. She just makes the silliest most exaggerated looks like pure disgust at the kiss or huge goo-goo eyes at the Countess. She puffs out her chest with her hands on her hips making a pouty face like she's this little charming tough guy. Words don't do it justice honestly. This is my favorite version of this scene

LJY Carlotta also kills me. The way she still tries to act put together, but clearly cannot keep her shit together. She lets out "말하지말고 / Don't speak" as a loud growl like she's emphasizing what she just said to her out of character before. It was hilarious watching Monsieur André's interaction with the conductor below when he was pushing for the ballet to start from this close. He was seriously about to lose his mind.

Masquerade / Why So Silent?

Sitting in a much closer seat, I think I can understand what people mean about hearing Dong-seok sing during Why So Silent. It's not so loud, but it was definitely there under the pre-recording. Under the skull his mouth moved in a much more natural way rather than the exaggerated way needed for the skull to move (which meant the mask didn't move much)

Twisted Every Way

SJS Christine looks so tired of everything during this scene, but SEH Christine is a lot more shaken up whenever she's in distress. I think it's another way her Christine feels a bit younger? But by 'Wishing' you can clearly see the growth she's gone through (although it was stronger in the second two performances I saw because she still seemed a bit ill this one) LJY Carlotta develops some more sympathy towards Christine at this point so when she says 미쳤네/she's mad, it sounds more like she's genuinely concerned for her mental state HGH Raoul. is so loud at the end I thought my ear drums would explode in the 5th row. You can accumulate severe ear damage between him and the ballerina screams. (Although I also just think the sound in the theaters I went to was incredibly loud because Rebecca Act 2 almost burst my eardrums as well in 2nd row)

The Point of No Return

And again, the more he's around Christine, the more destructive it is for him. You're just hurting yourself, king! He was extremely anxious around her, back to his usual route. Rather than the frustration he had before, he had quickly rising anxiety. He clutched his chest during the same line that KJT Phantom had mimicked Christine's movements at his performances. As he reached back for her on the bench, he was shaking and not brave enough to lean closer to her. This proposal he was a spineless disaster. He could barely get near her to put on the ring when he had been so forceful about it the previous performance. It didn't feel inconsistent though. It just seemed like a different branch for his Phantom, an alternate outcome for the same characterization.

Final Lair

SJS Christine was so afraid looking around and clinging to the edge of the boat when she would get taken down to the lair in 'Down Once More'. SEH looked frightened as well, but then in response to the Phantom's words she turned cold. Every performance SEH Christine would plead "잠깐만! 잠깐만! 잠깐만!" (- Hold on, hold on! or Wait, wait!) til he let her go. JDS Phantom was especially childish this performance. Or I guess in a different way? The previous show he had his angry tantrum, this one he was a complete wet mop of a man. When he said his face is what poisoned his love reaching out to her, she rejected him, turning away bitterly. But when she told him she wasn't afraid of his face, she tried to touch him and he gasped and started hyperventilating a little The energy JDS Phantom and HGH Raoul had when arguing though like oooo the girls are fiiiiightiiiing~ It was a little funny Most of his reactions to Christine's rejections like the veil throwing were actually chipping away at him this time instead of building an icy wall. I also think since SEH is the "stronger" more independent Christine these responses were maybe rougher to this more sensitive version of his Phantom When he was on the throne at the end, he reached to touch her face, but stopped and began to stutter out "날...날..시ㅣ험...하지마..." ('Don't test me") trying to stop himself from crying. This performance he opted for one of his occasional line changes - "선택해 - Choose" to "날 선택해 - Choose me!" Tears were pouring from his face and he was pulling at his collar again like he was struggling to breathe while sobbing. The kiss was similar to the one before, but I think he looked sadder When he sang "사랑해 / I love you" the first show, it was so soft you could barely hear it and the end was barely audible. This time he was choking on the word while SEH also struggled not to cry. She tried to reach out to him from the start, but because he was so stuck in his self-hatred and insecurity, they were never given a chance. So this is where they ended up. After Christine and Raoul got into the boat, he picked up the veil smiling before he slowly began to sob intensely into it. He looked like he had completely fallen apart

I think I preferred the October 8th show just because it felt so unique, but I felt so happy I could see Jeon Dong-seok twice (well three times on the trip, but twice as the Phantom) and get such different experiences out of it each time. I'm also really glad he was able to achieve his longtime dream role ❤️ I'd like to hope that in another decade-ish whenever POTO comes back he can return to the role and give us an new version with even more skills he's learned overtime (also because I think he'd be the perfect age then)

I feel like I should now mention they already had the Dracula video ads up in the theater since he made a u-turn back to the Charlotte for the show. He'll be on one of the 3 CDs for the new Dracula cast recording (why couldn't they do this for POTO) So there was double Dong-seok all over the theater. What a nice sight for me 😌

I will drop promo just because I can! He is now unmasking himself to reveal a pretty face instead of unmasking to reveal uh...well what the Phantom has going on?

Since there's not really official content of his ALW POTO, you can also have a taste of his Y&K Erik (there is also a version of the live cast recording with him as Erik with Kim So-hyun as Christine) Come join me as I pray for him to return to the show for the 10th anniversary in 2025 so I can go see him.

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart 2 - Chapter 17

Do No Harm

The rest of the week passed steadily and a strange excitement bubbled inside Matthew. He didn’t know why; they weren’t going for fun, and there was every chance Jackie’s plan wouldn’t work. Eventually he put it down to the simple fun of travel: he had never been to Vegas before after all.

On Friday evening, Kyra, Keiki and Bryce turned up at the apartment.

“Hey you!” Kyra shrieked as soon as Matthew opened the door. She almost bowled him over in a hug. “How dare you talk me into this surgery and then get so poisoned that it’s too dangerous for you to come visit afterwards?!”

“I’m sorry!” Matthew groaned, hugging Kyra tightly. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“I’m at my parents for now but I’m still having a lot of hospital check-ups. Surely it’s safe for you to come see me now?”

“I’m sure I can.”

Kyra won over Keiki as easily as she had Matthew, particularly with stories of drunken Bryce and intern Bryce. By the time the rest of the gang was ready to leave for the airport, they had commandeered the entire sofa and seemed to have no intention of moving from it until Sunday night.

The generosity of Panacea Labs apparently covered hotel rooms but not flights, and Matthew had to patiently explain to the grumpy man in front of him that he wasn’t purposely kicking his seat, his legs were too long to comfortably fit into the space between the cheap economy seats. He got little sympathy and had to suffer in silence throughout the flight, hoping his book would be enough to distract him.

Sienna and Aurora were also sat in his row. Sienna seemed down.

“Mitch quit this afternoon,” she explained in a low voice.

“Is that much of a surprise? He never really struck me as competent.”

“No, but…I feel like maybe it’s partly my fault. I spent half the year making excuses and then it became too much and I blew up. If I had handled myself better—”

“Sienna, don’t blame yourself,” Aurora said. “You’ve been through so much crap lately, you didn’t blow up just because of Mitch’s attitude.”

“How has it been since you told him off?” Matthew asked. “Did he take you seriously?”

“He did, finally, but he didn’t think. Jackie told me that Gary always knew where to go after he was done with a patient, but I had to constantly tell Mitch to go down to the ER, or check for new cases coming in. I couldn’t figure out if he was afraid of doing things wrong or still being purposely incompetent.”

Matthew and Aurora glanced at each other.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter,” Matthew said.

“Agreed.”

Sienna sank down in her seat.

“I just don’t really know what to do anymore,” she said. “After I blew up at Mitch, Zaid decided to reassign some of my cases…he thought I was stressed and overworked, and still affected from the attack. He wasn’t wrong but now I don’t know how to fill out the rest of my time. I’ll just think about Danny, which won’t help anyone.”

“Elijah does a bit of research outside of his work,” Matthew said. “Maybe you could do something like that too, just to give you some focus that’s not direct cases.”

“It doesn’t have to be forever either,” Aurora said.

“I guess.”

Sienna rested her head on Aurora’s shoulder companionably.

All thoughts of work were forgotten when they touched down in Vegas and caught their first sight of the strip. Neon lights as far as the eye could see, life-size replicas of world landmarks towering over them. New York City might have been the city that never sleeps but Matthew was sure the title ought to be re-crowned. He felt like a dork, gazing open-mouthed at the lights that surrounded him but it was impossible to look away.

“Someone help me,” Bryce grinned. “I think I burned my eyes looking at Excalibur.”

“Follow me, Lancelot,” Aurora laughed.

They were staying in an extremely fancy hotel: just the reception area was swathed in marble floors and gilded statues. The crystal chandelier was most definitely real crystal and gold. When Jackie gave her name at the desk, the receptionist gave an almost crawly smile. Jackie seemed to cringe and swiftly led the group to the elevators – which were probably bigger than their apartment’s bathroom – and they flew up to the top floor and into the penthouse.

“Holy crap!”

They had walked into a sweeping room with floor-to-ceiling windows, remote controlled spotlights in the ceiling, several plush sofas that looked as comfortable as a bed, plasma TVs in the wall facing a fully-stocked minibar.

“Check out this bath!” Sienna squealed. Matthew looked into a marble bathroom to find a big circular tub, mounted on several steps, big enough for Sienna to lie flat in.

“Want me to run you a jacuzzi?” Matthew said, looming menacingly over the buttons.

“Not yet!” Sienna scrambled out the tub, giggling.

“Just remember this was paid for with blood money,” Jackie warned as she flicked through a menu. “On that note, who wants to help me rob Panacea with room service?”

Matthew couldn’t help smirking: Ethan had had a similar philosophy last year, and Jackie would be sick if he told her that.

As Jackie put in a call to the front desk for a Panacea-funded feast, Matthew snuck into one of the bedrooms and sprawled out on the king-sized four poster bed, marvelling at the silk sheets and velvet throws, then took out his phone to call Rafael.

“Matthew!” He sounded happy. “How’s the city of lights?”

“Pretty sure that’s Paris, not Vegas.”

“There is an Eiffel Tower there.”

Matthew moved to the window where he could see the Eiffel Tower replica glowing against the night sky.

“Fair point. I’ll give it to you.”

Raf chuckled.

“It’s good to hear your voice. I was getting a little jealous thinking of you guys hitting the town without me.”

“I know. I wish you could have come with us.”

“Me too, but I’ve got a super-heavy physical therapy schedule and Dr Mirani doesn’t want me travelling far at the moment.”

“I know, I know.” Matthew didn’t want Raf to get caught up in what he was missing out on. “So, what are you up to now?”

“Right now I’m at Vovó’s for family dinner!” His voice perked right up. “You should smell the moqueca she has on the stove…”

Matthew could picture the scene: Juliana’s bright kitchen, Rafael probably trying to help out and being told to relax, his parents gently teasing each other.

“That sounds amazing. Remind me to invite myself over again soon.”

“That won’t be hard.”

Someone knocked on the door of the bedroom, and he heard Sienna’s voice asking if he was OK.

“I should probably get back,” he said, reluctantly. “Heist plans to make and all that…”

“Go, have fun! And…get into some trouble, OK? For the two of us.”

“I will,” Matthew smiled. “Say hello to your family for me. And the next time I’m in Vegas, I fully expect you to be here with me.”

“Actually I have good news on that front: I could be up for some travel in a few months, if I keep up with my recovery schedule.”

“That’s great, Raf!”

Matthew felt comforted as they exchanged goodbyes and hung up. He had been a little concerned with what Raf would think of the plan, but he had been encouraging, and Matthew was glad Raf was having fun back home.

As they ate dinner – a variety of world foods that they could all pick and share – they put their plan together. The next day would be the main conference which Jackie, Aurora, Sienna and Elijah would attend. Matthew was off the hook as he and Nash still hated each other. He was just going to make the most of the luxury penthouse. Bryce had volunteered to keep Matthew company, though he would probably take another stroll down the strip. Saturday evening would be the big one for all of them. The execs would be drinking and gambling and this was when Jackie hoped their tongues would be loose enough to reveal a few dirty secrets.

Matthew slept in on Saturday morning and soaked in the jacuzzi for a couple of hours. He was lounging on the couch in a fluffy bathrobe when Bryce came back from his explore.

“Check out what I bought for Keiki!”

He reached into a shopping bag and pulled out a little model of Elvis Presly. When the button was pressed, Elvis sang a few bars of ‘Viva Las Vegas’ and wiggled his hips.

“Just what she’s always wanted,” Matthew laughed. “Maybe I should get one for Raf.”

“Do it and they can have a dance-off.” Bryce flopped onto the couch beside Matthew and took some chocolate out of the shopping bag to share.

“How are you doing, anyway?” Matthew asked. “I couldn’t believe that your parents had come into the hospital.”

“Yeah,” Bryce said, heavily. “That was…something. But people have actually been quite nice about it, which I didn’t expect. And people talking about me in general is nothing new.” He acted cocky, smoothing his hair back, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “But I got so angry when I first saw them, even though it’s been years. It…scared me,” he admitted. “I used to punch the wall after I argued with my parents, and at the time I told myself it was OK because it wasn’t a person. But that’s hardly a healthy reaction. Keiki and I argue, what if I get angry with her?”

Matthew rubbed his shoulder. “I think the fact that you’re worried about it is a good sign,” he said. “You’ve been making it work with Keiki for a while now. But the anger caused by your parents will be different than arguing with your sister. Much less extreme.”

“I suppose,” Bryce nodded. “But…there’s a lot to think about at the moment….Stuff to work out…Things to decide.”

Matthew waited, but Bryce didn’t elaborate.

“Are you going to tell me about that…?”

“Maybe later.” Bryce casually popped a chocolate into his mouth. “But not today. Today we help Jackie.”

“If you say so,” Matthew said. “But I’m here for you.”

“You’re a doctor, not a psychologist. But thanks.” Bryce ruffled Matthew’s hair, then paused, sniffing the air. “Dude…did you use rose bubble bath or something?”

“It was so foamy!”

****

That night, the suite was a flurry of activity as everyone got dressed up for the evening. Matthew kept it very simple in a black silk shirt. Elijah was in a maroon tux, and Bryce was in a navy tux with a matching flower print shirt.

“Only you could wear flower print and pull it off,” Jackie sighed, as she fixed a pair of sparkly earrings to her ears. She looked particularly striking in a short, tight sparkly blue halter-necked dress and black heels, though her hair was in its usual bun. Sienna had offered to style it differently, but Jackie had brushed her off. Whatever the morning conference had been about, she had come back with fire in her eyes and had been on edge all afternoon. Meanwhile, Aurora wore the red dress she had worn to her school reunion, and Sienna was in a glittering black cocktail dress, curling her hair for the occasion.

Walking into the casino was quite the assault on the senses. Music blared, slot machines squealed and buzzed, dealers called for bets, gamblers cheered in delight or howled in anguish. Lights flashed in every corner and cocktail waitresses strutted round offering shots…for a small fee, of course.

“Alright heist crew,” Elijah said, rubbing his hands together. “Where do we start?”

“I can see Nash talking to someone at the poker tables,” Matthew said.

“Let’s start there. But we need to be subtle,” Jackie said. “I say we go over in small groups to eavesdrop. Except Matthew, make sure you stay out of Nash’s sight.”

Bryce and Jackie strolled over to the poker tables. Elijah and Sienna went in that general direction, pretending to look around. Matthew hid at a slot machine. Aurora did the same, but positioned closer to Nash’s table.

“I’ve been hearing Solomon Health had a very good year.” Matthew could just make out Declan’s voice. “And I’ve been hearing rumours about vertical integration?”

“You using that machine or what?” someone behind Matthew said rudely. He jumped, then glared as he loaded a quarter into the machine and pulled the lever…only for the machine to start spinning and line up three golden sevens! The entire machine lit up and squealed with sirens as coins started rattling out, into his cup and onto the ground. The rude person looked scandalised.

“What the hell?!” Aurora gasped.

“It was a mistake,” Matthew groaned as Nash started craning his neck looking for the jackpot winner.

“Mr Nash! Good to see you!” Aurora called as she hurried over to Declan. He looked surprised, but pleased.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here, Dr Emery!”

“Well, my aunt couldn’t make it so she asked if I would go and represent the family.”

“And you work at Mass Kenmore now, I believe. Interesting…”

As Aurora subtly turned Nash away from the slot machines, Matthew hastily grabbed his cup and dashed away. There were still a ton of coins on the floor but he didn’t care; the rude gambler could have those.

Bryce and Jackie caught up with him as he was paying in his winnings: he had managed to catch a few thousand.

“How could you win a slot machine on the first go?” Bryce said. “You’re so jammy.”

“Never mind that, did you find out anything?”

“I heard something about Solomon Health and vertical integration,” Matthew said, as the other three caught up with them.

“I’ve heard about that,” Elijah said. “Vertical integration is when a company owns its own supply chain. Basically, Solomon Health are trying to create a monopoly.”

“I spoke with one of the Solomon reps and he kept saying there were ‘big plans��� for Mass Kenmore too,” Aurora said, darkly.

Jackie gritted her teeth.

“It doesn’t help us deal with Panacea. We need to try again.”

“Declan’s still at the poker table,” Sienna said. “This woman came to join him just before we came to join you, but he seems to know her well.”

The group peered over at the poker tables. A tall woman in a bespoke suit and black hair in a high ponytail sipped from a champagne flute and laughed at what Nash said.

“That’s Panacea’s CEO, Charlotte St Yves!” Jackie gasped. As she spoke, Charlotte downed the rest of her champagne and walked to the stairs that led to the sportsbook. She wobbled a little as she went.

“Charlotte seems to have had a few…I bet we could get her to talk. And taking down the CEO would be major,” Elijah said.

Jackie frowned.

“I don’t know…I still think it’s worth following Nash.”

“How about you and I stick with Nash, the others can follow Charlotte,” Bryce said. “Text us when you’re ready to meet up,” he added to the group.

The elevator doors opened to a modern sports lounge filled with flatscreen TVs, leather recliners and loungers.

“Pretend we belong,” Aurora reminded everyone as they stepped out. Charlotte was in a recliner, swirling clear liquid in a glass tumbler. Elijah started rolling towards the TV closest to her and the others followed.

“Yesss, Nick Lawson’s playing tonight. We gotta bet on him,” he said. Matthew and the girls settled on the loungers.

“This sportsbook is fancy,” Sienna noted. “So, where do we place our bets?”

“There’s a screen on the arm of the lounger,” Charlotte said, looking over at them.

Perfect Matthew thought as he gave Charlotte a smile.

“Thanks. We’re clearly not from around here.”

“What brings you to Vegas?”

“Er…”

“We were at high school together,” Aurora said. “Every year we take a trip to a different city.”

“Nice! Where are you from originally?”

“Boston.”

“I know Boston quite well,” Charlotte smirked. Matthew and Aurora shared a glance; of course she did.

“Do you travel a lot?” Sienna asked.

“A fair amount. I have a lot of conferences with work.”

“What is it that you do?”

“I work with Panacea Labs. We provide a lot of pharmaceuticals.”

They chatted a little longer about the beginnings of Panacea – Charlotte was drunk enough to let slip that she had always looked for tax loopholes, even in the early days – and then back to the basketball, which had just reached half time.

“So,” Charlotte said, slurring her words. “Who’s up for a bet? Sports games like this are unpredictable. Every game means lives and futures hang in the balance.”

“Sounds ominous,” Matthew muttered to Sienna. “Do you think that’s the drink talking?”

“It’s hard to tell either way,” Sienna whispered back.

Charlotte clicked her fingers at the server for a refill as Matthew watched a reporter interviewing a sweaty player. He seemed confident, almost overly so.

“That’s Antonia Morrison. He’s an absolute monster. The opposition will need a lot of luck getting past him.”

“So you think he’s the one?” Charlotte’s finger hovered over her betting screen. “The bookmakers have put an over-under on him of 15.5 points in the second half.”

Matthew continued watching the TV as Morrison wrapped up his interview, but as he stretched, he winced: a classic sign of hip-flexor strain. Elijah had gone pensive. He seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“You know what? I think Morrison will score under fifteen points.”

Charlotte giggled and her well-manicured hands tapped on her screen.

“Did you just bet a hundred grand?!” Matthew yelped.

“Exciting, isn’t it? Probably a teensy bit more than what you’re used to.”

The group watched the screens with baited breath. Matthew could feel himself sweating…and Morrison fell short of fifteen points before the final buzzer.

“We did it!” Sienna squealed. “I mean…he didn’t do it…but she did it!”

Matthew felt a little dizzy and he wondered if he’d been breathing properly at all for that second half.

“Well played!” Charlotte crowed, reaching over to shake his hand. “This calls for a celebration. I have a VIP lounge booked at the MGM Grand. Find me there and I’ll buy a bottle of Chateau d’Yquem.

“We’ll be there!” Matthew said as Charlotte staggered away. He could hardly believe his luck. Maybe he should place a bet for himself.

“Come on,” Aurora said. “We need to get Jackie and Bryce.”

Jackie was thrilled with their success. She had a recording of Nash saying they purposely extended testing periods and withheld breakthroughs from the public eye because they knew it would lose the money from the long-term treatment…but Nash was nothing compared to a confession from the CEO.

The MGM Grand was a huge nightclub with a long line of people waiting to get in. They didn’t recognise any Panacea honchos in the line…clearly they had queue-jumping privileges.

“We need to get past the bouncer,” Jackie scowled. “Bryce, flirt with him until he lets us in.”

“What?” Bryce spluttered. “What if he’s not into dudes?”

“Since when has that stopped you?” Sienna laughed.

Bryce rolled his eyes, but put on a charming smile and strutted to the bouncer who watched him warily. The group waited as Bryce ran his hand up the bouncers arm…the bouncer rolled his eyes and waved him in. Everyone else charged in after him.

“What did you say?”

“Well, I used my medical training to be very specific about which body parts of our anatomies would fit together…and he let me in on the grounds that I would never speak to him again.”

The group laughed. Matthew looked at Jackie, expecting a witty remark, but she was frowning and her eyes were focused straight ahead where Nash and Charlotte were in the VIP lounge.

“Jackie? You OK?”

“Come help me get my phone ready. You guys wait here.” Jackie grabbed Matthew by the front of his shirt and dragged him towards a bathroom.

“Wait, I can’t go in there!”

“It’s fine, just pretend we’re hooking up.”

A few women were fixing their make-up in the mirror. They jumped when Matthew was dragged in, then burst into giggles when he and Jackie crammed into a stall and locked it behind them.

“You owe me for this.”

“I’ll owe you for a lifetime.” Jackie’s hands trembled as she swiped at her phone, her brow furrowed in fury. “I got an app that filters out background noise. I’ll set it up and we’ll nail those bastards to the wall.”

She accidentally tapped out the app and cursed loudly. Matthew gently took the phone from her to continue the set-up. Jackie leaned against the wall, her hands clenched into fists.

“We need to find something, Matthew. I need Nash to suffer.”

“You’re not the only one who wants that.”

“No. I need it. Nash is out there, right now, making deals that will literally kill people as he drinks champagne. He deserves to lose everything.”

“You’re getting a bit…intense,” Matthew said in alarm. “Why do you want this so bad?”

Jackie made a strangled noise as she kicked at the wall. Matthew’s stomach squeezed when he saw the tears in her eyes when she faced him.

“This is the only way I know how to make it right. I let them buy me off and I hate myself for it. Nash is a slime bag but I should have done better. I was the one who was too weak. And it’s going to carry on…Nash will make his shady deals and there’ll be plenty of desperate doctors willing to help in exchange for extra cash.” She hastily dabbed her thumb under her eyes. “Sorry…I’ve barely slept over this.”

“Jackie, this isn’t all on you…”

“No. If I can do something to stop it…it won’t solve the whole problem but it’s a start. I’m sick of Big Pharma.”

Matthew’s heart broke for her. He handed the phone back, ready to record.

“Let’s go take them down.”

They found their friends at the edge of the dancefloor and huddled together. Jackie thrust the phone into Matthew’s hands, agitated.

“You need to do it,” she said. “I’m too…”

She couldn’t finish her sentence but she didn’t need to. Matthew squeezed her hand as he took the phone.

“Maybe it’s best if one of us goes anyway,” Elijah said. “You were the one who made the bet, Matthew. If she asks, just say we had to stop somewhere but we’re on our way.”

“We’ll wait for you on the rooftop terrace,” Bryce added.

He went with Aurora and Jackie, whilst Elijah and Sienna waited in the corner until Nash drained his glass and stood up. Almost as soon as he was in the main area of the club, Elijah rolled into him and Sienna started waylaying him about the Panacea perks program. Matthew ducked under the VIP rope.

“There you are!” Charlotte was trashed. “Where are your friends?”

“They wanted to stay at the casino a bit longer but they’re on their way,” Matthew said as Charlotte poured him a generous glass of champagne. “I still can’t believe how easily you placed a hundred thousand dollar bet…”

“I forgot how shocking the numbers can seem to the lower classes but it’s child’s play, really.”

Matthew ignored the jab. Charlotte had to keep talking.

“Humans are designed to thrive on adrenaline. The greater the risk, the greater the pay-off.” She smirked. “C’mon, you must get a rush from something.”

“Well…I once impersonated a doctor.”

“How?”

“I was at the mall and someone started choking. They called for a doctor but no one stood…so I ran up and did the Heimlich, like they do on TV.” He shrugged it off. “It worked. The guy woke up. And the ambulance crew asked me which hospital I worked at and thanked me for my service.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie. Matthew had saved someone from choking in a mall food court during his med school years, but he had made it very clear he was only a student. The people hadn’t cared; they wanted their friend to be OK, and Matthew was the closest thing to a doctor they could get.

“Unbelievable. You got lucky,” Charlotte said. “When I was your age, I snuck into the lion exhibit at Atlanta Zoo.”

“You snuck into the…?”

“They’re just big kitties at the end of the day!”

They swapped a few more stories, but just as Matthew worried he was running out of life experiences to base his lies on, Charlotte took a big gulp of champagne.

“You want risks? I increased my company’s quarterly profits by sixty percent by inflating the wholesale prices of our most used drugs!”

Matthew spluttered. Charlotte had just confessed to text book medicare fraud.

“How would that even work?”

“Easy. Officially price the product at ten times retail. Medicare pays us the full amount for it and we just happen to offer a ninety percent wholesale discount to other buyers.” She sat back, happily. “My head’s going to be sore in the morning,” she giggled.

Matthew’s head was spinning. He had to get away from Charlotte.

“Well, I don’t think I can top that so hats off to you.” He forced a big grin while feeling like he might throw up. “Be right back, I gotta use the bathroom.”

Charlotte waved him off as Matthew ducked into the crowd and bolted for the stairs. The cool night air shocked him for a second before his friends gathered round him. The initial reaction was the same disgust he had felt, but then it turned celebratory when they realised it was perfect.

“I can’t believe it! You did it!” Jackie gasped, pulling him into a surprise huge hug. “Gimme the phone, I’ll take it from here.”

“Charlotte could go to jail for this,” Aurora said, as Jackie trimmed down the recording to just the admission. “Can you believe we pulled it off?”

“I might have known!” said a smarmy voice. Declan Nash had found them, just as Elijah and Sienna appeared from the elevator, aghast.

“I got suspicious when those two started hounding me about the perks program. Amateurs.” He looked at them with disdain before turning to Jackie. “Now, give me that phone.”

Jackie stepped forward to face Nash, holding up the phone showing the audio ready to send.

“I have a friend at the New York Times who was very interested to hear the goings-on in Panacea. You make one more move and I hit send.”

Nash went pale.

“W-What do you want? Money? We can talk deal,” He spluttered. “I could get you a consultant job at Panacea alongside your doctor job if you want!”

“You think this is about money?” Matthew snapped. Money seemed to have been the cause of most of his problems this year and he had had enough. From constantly asking how much patients could pay Edenbrook, all the way back to his father covering his sisters medical bills, and then screwing over Holly during the divorce. Had the world always been this way, or had he just now noticed? “You think we did this for a pay out? Not everyone is as disgustingly greedy as you are. The only thing we want is to get Panacea out of Edenbrook and Kenmore for good.”

“I can make that happen too!” Nash said, but then he paused. “Although…you know if you send that, you won’t come out of this clean.”

“What?”

“A story this big would lead to investigations. Every single doctor who took payments from Panacea Labs…and how many payments they took.”

He raised an eyebrow, pointedly. Matthew expected Jackie to flip Nash off and send the file, but she had frozen in place.

“So it was a couple of consultations. Big deal!” Sienna protested, but Nash laughed nastily. He still had cards to play.

“Your friends don’t know, do they? Well, kids, Jackie here was one of the highest perk recipients at the hospital.” He said the words with relish, and crossed his arms over his chest with a smirk, thinking he had won. Jackie couldn’t look anyone in the eye. She had lied to them.

“So that’s why they gave you the penthouse,” Elijah finally said into the shocked silence.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sienna asked.

Tears welled in Jackie’s eyes.

“Because I was ashamed. I hate myself for all of it. I wanted to tell you…but I couldn’t get the words out.”

The conversation with Jackie in the bathroom stall suddenly made more sense.

“No patient or doctor would trust you again after this. You’d be out of a job,” Nash said, coldly. He held out his hand. “Just give me the phone so I can delete the message. I’ll move Panacea out of your hospitals. You keep your job. No harm done.”

Jackie tensed…then shook her head, and glared at Nash with cold fury.

“No. There was harm done, and you need to pay for it. And so do I.”

She hit send…and they all heard the swoop of the confirmation.

“NO!” Nash roared. For a moment he looked like he wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around Jackie’s neck and squeeze. Matthew readied himself to fight him off, but then Nash whirled around and tore down the stairs. Matthew and Aurora raced after him, reaching the club in time to hear Charlotte’s furious screech, joined by other execs as Nash rounded them up. As they neared the door, Charlotte finally spotted Matthew.

“You little shit!” She spat. “How could you do this to me?”

“To you? You’re defrauding millions of people!”

“I think you’ll have to start placing slightly smaller bets, Charlotte,” Aurora grinned, high-fiving Matthew which made Charlotte even angrier but there was no time to rip them to shreds now.

Despite the fact the club was still raving, the roof terrace felt peaceful when they returned. Jackie was slumped on a bench with the others gathered round her.

“You didn’t have to sacrifice your career for this,” Sienna said as she sat beside Jackie and put an arm around her. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Me too,” Aurora said, going to Jackie’s other side. “You’re a brave, strong woman, Jackie.”

“What you did took a lot of guts.”

“You did good, nose-wiper.”

“I’m proud of you, too.”

Jackie glanced round at her friends, and finally managed a tired smile.

“Thanks guys.”

The six of them sat in peaceful silence in the cool night breeze. They seemed to have almost forgotten where they were until a heavy bass started thumping beneath them.

“So…” Elijah said. “Do we go home right now and wait for the headlines to hit, or do we make the most of an all-expenses-paid trip to Vegas that features a recently-vacated VIP lounge?”

The group started to laugh, then excitement grew again as they piled into the elevator and went back down to the club floor, where they wasted no time filling the VIP lounge and helping themselves to he abandoned champagne. It didn’t take long for Matthew’s head to spin and when he started feeling a deep love and gratitude for his friends, he grabbed a half-drunk bottle and stumbled to the edge of the lounge.

“Can I interest anyone in a drink?” he announced, to a rousing cheer. Clubgoers surged forward, and he poured champagne directly into their open mouths, feeling like a god.

Sienna and Bryce were dancing wildly. Elijah and Aurora were doing shots of tequila. Jackie shimmied over to Matthew and leaned on him heavily.

“You’re amazing,” she said, loudly. “Thank you. For everything. I mean it.”

Matthew smiled as he wrapped an arm around her, but somewhere in his fuzzy brain he thought it might be time to retire. He and Jackie stumbled out of the club and into a taxi back to their hotel.

“I miss Raf,” Matthew groaned loudly, as they collapsed on the penthouse couches.

“I know you do, you big dumb-ass,” Jackie said, kicking off her shoes. “Hey Matthew…I’m really sorry I lied…I just couldn’t stand the idea that everyone might hate me when I already hated myself—”

“Ssssshhh.” Matthew leaned over and gave her a big hug. “It’s all in the past. You’re redeemed. And we don’t hate you. I love you.”

Jackie hugged him back, then started sniffling.

“Sorry,” she wailed. “But I haven’t slept and I’m a bit drunk—hey!”

“Let’s get you to bed.” Matthew had swept Jackie into a fireman’s lift and carried her into a bedroom where he threw her onto the bed. He flopped onto it beside her, and soon they were drifting into a deep, drunken sleep.

****

Matthew woke up at noon the next day, with a sore head and a dry mouth. Jackie had woken up before him and he could hear his friends shuffling around the penthouse. He groaned as he rolled over and felt the smoothness of his phone, revealing a text from Rafael: several laughing emojis followed by ‘how are you feeling this morning?? xx’.

Matthew panicked, wondering what he might have sent, but opened up the message thread and snorted with laughter: ‘yur fuvkinn awesummd Raf xxzxxxcx’.

He called him, and he picked up immediately, laughing at the sound of Matthew’s condition.

“Sounds like you had a great night!”

“I don’t think I even drank that much…my tolerance has been shot.”

“I don’t want to think about what mine might be like,” Raf said. “So, anyway, there was breaking news report this morning where a bunch of Panacea reps were arrested. Anything to do with you?”

Matthew was about to recount the full story of their success when he heard a shout that pierced his head: “BRYCE, NO, WE’RE ON THE THIRTY-FIFTH FLOOR!”

“What the--?”

Forgetting his hangover for a second, Matthew scrambled into the living room. Bryce was on the balcony, leaning over the railing. Everyone was crowded round him, laughing and groaning.

“Raf’s on the phone,” Matthew said, squinting in the daylight. “What’s going on?”

“Bryce threw up over the balcony.”

“Eeeeww!”

“If the people don’t have an umbrella, that’s on them,” Bryce said, as defiantly as he could in his hungover state.

****

News of Panacea spread quickly through Edenbrook. It was a double-edged sword. Matthew knew what it meant for Jackie, but Panacea was immediately closed pending investigation and certain medications were now inaccessible. Some patients had to be sent to other hospitals that had better supply. Even when Edenbrook did have an alternative, it was only through another pharmaceutical company that could have had the same level of corruption as Panacea.

Matthew met Jackie and Sienna by the entrance on Monday night to walk home together. They were all subdued, still with a touch of hangover and the hospital’s financial crisis heavier than ever, when Aurora burst through the doors gasping for breath.

“Thank god you’re here,” she choked. “I was just told…Kenmore don’t want to merge…the board decided…Solomon Health bought us out and the board doesn’t want to share that…they said there’s no need to lean on Edenbrook.”

“Oh god,” Matthew groaned. June had been right about the liability of Thorne pushing hospitals away. Ethan had been right about greedy hospital boards. And if Senator Farrugia had been adamant to keep research funds from Edenbrook…

They were doomed.

Tags: @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @ceruleansnake0

[eostra11211]

The heist chapter 34

Previous chapter - next chapter

Masterlist

TW: offensive language-angst-break up.

A.N: a chapter from Kyle, Jake's ally, 's pov.

My sole and only fantastic super power I ever dreamt to have as a kid is always the same,

Invisibility..

Now realizing this definitely is my punishment for challenging the master by keeping my sister safe.

He is going after mc's family now.

She stood there with her arms crossed, staring at Jake and not saying anything.

Before I even argue my case, Jake took the phone from my hands and was smashing it under his foot.

All inspiration for my creativity at cussing now hit I can't quite recognize at which point he spoke back:

"Mark does not apologize or acknowledge a mistake. He only sends messeges."

Now his stone cold, formal voice, I confess to have respected before but it never grew on me for all the years I dealt with this man and it surely now added in salt to my fury.

"Are you even hearing yourself now? You are making zero sense except for your same old paranoia that you keep calln.."

" Kyle, enough." Mc Now addressed me. " You know it's for ours and your own good."

It must have taken my full will power to bite down and back on the r-rated creativity.

Girlfriend and boyfriend or whatever they are or who she is. I am to question for her family's safety.

" Let us discuss this once we have made the reservation. " Jake said and handed me a flip phone.

Making a mental note to check on MC's family, I bit my lip and accepted the phone.

I followed both Jake and mc across the highway to the motel.

Mc excused herself to make a phone call while Jake and I entered the motel.

Jake was quiet but less familiar quiet than --I am in soul a polar bear-- quiet.. or perhaps it's me being the familiar --it's about a mistake I made--.

Or screw it!

If master farmed this attitude into me, I should be able to communicate it with a friend.

"Look Jake, you do know better about master than any other, I was wrong and forgot that for a second." I spoke while we waited for the receptionist.

Nodding, Jake rang the bell and said "mind next time when you make stunts against him without my knowledge." That was his response.

Sure I feel remorse but not for telling his bossy ass everything. "No worries, no next time or whatsoever." I replied with a fake smile all the same registering his cold stance starting to give off some disappointment.

He sighed though, finally waving his head and said, a little more open: "I understand where you are coming from. You were protecting your family."

The receptionist showed up while I debated wether to thank him or offer sympathy. I was reminded suddenly that he doesn't have any family. Except for Master but that would be a bigger call for sympathy than no family at all.

He was taking the keys when mc rejoined us. I noticed she seemed pale and sort of taken aback.

I discovered he booked a room for me as he handed me the key.

."I could hitch-hike for a car to the club." I paid awkward apologies

Jake just kept holding the keys however : "it's half past three in the morning now, hitchhike in the morning and be on your way."

I glanced awkwardly at mc and nodded a thank you to Jake ..

"You might as well consider leaving altogether. Make sure it's definite without return. Do you understand?"

Jake pressed urgently.

"Why does he have to do that?" Mc, still pale, asked jake.

"Because he is not of use to mark anymore." Jake eyed mc thoughtfully.

I figured he too have noticed she was oddly pale and in her head.

"Mark guarantees loyalty of his disciples by keeping their families under his radar." Jake, with a hand on her upper arm, explained to mc "even if this text messege checks out as trivial, Kyle's going through with securing his sister's safety is a game changer move."

"did you check on your sister, mc? Is she ok?" I asked.

Mc gave out a resigned sigh and said:"you be careful then, Kyle."

Yes, totally ignoring my question.

"alright then." I exchanged handshakes with both of them. With Jake however I promoted it to a casual hug. He gave out a stiff stance. Nothing unusual except not voicing the infamous request of space.

I thought he even put a hand on my back for a second.

I left the two of them to sort themselves out and headed to my room.

Its lights were dim and walls painted dark shades of blue. I always rather this kind of lighting for when I use my PC for so long.

A lonely chair was in poor shape but the bed mattress was alright, so I accessed my laptop from there.

Hesitant to make myself available online, I opted to only log in to my E-mail.

Josh was one to email me about work with the master, and few from my friend Ada, who used to work for the master.

I scrolled between her emails as I always did. She had gone off the grid in fear of the master's knowledge of our growing relationship.

Or in more accurate words, she refused to have a romance while under Master's influence.

She used Jake's help changing her identity. Jake did give me her new contact "upon her request" he said.

However I wouldn't dare until it's over with the master and both of us are safe.

An email notification just showed. To my cringe, It was from Master.

It contained not one word except for a pdf file. In it was a picture of my mother in her bed, I guessed, in her nursing home.

The shiver that started down my spine grew into a shake from limb to toe in one second. And it wasn't even the only picture there.

There was a photo of Jake sitting with master in a car.

I took deep breaths to get it together as I decided to dig out the metadata behind the two photos for connection.

The appearance of Jake was familiar to me, which made me search further after I found out that two photos were taken at times so close together. Only with my mother's photo beats it by measure of 46 minutes.

I opened Jake's photo again, only to escape examining my mother's photo again, where she lied down senseless. Lifeless..

Zooming in on Jake's face, a thread of blood was hanging visibly from the tip of his eyebrow, looking freshly new. Even newer than his left black eye he must have gotten from his time in prison.

It was after he got chased and finally crashed by master's men.

He didn't need my rescue then at all. In fact. I doubt he ever needed my help.

But now, I need his answers.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Anything else?

*back at the orphanage*

Well, seems will call it a day - I'm going to call someone so excuse me. *Hitaru walks away*

I think I'll go help with dinner; excuse me... *he walks away as well*

Alright then, just come to dinner when your done.

So Sunako, about that USB that you got; what did you discover...?

Well, let's just say that just like the previous one it does connect to Hope's Peak and it would explain a few things but I think it's best if you guys come with me, you'll understand...

Gre-Great, more negative shit to go on about; let's get this over with.

Right, let's go see what Monaca is gonna say this time...

*the 4 went upstairs and head towards Sunako's room which as Sunako gets into her chair she turns on the laptop*

---------------------------------------------------------------------

...

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Well then, now we got Jataro's USB; now it's time to speak with you regarding Jataro and that footage you had of Kotoko molesting Komaru, why is that in there?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is that in there, oh just simple; to just show that our friendship is fake and even how the other Warriors of Hope are just as bad as their parent.

You all must be aware of Jataro's big unrequited crush on big sis Junko, yeah? He really is no different from his sperm donor.

Someone that you love soooo much but is out of reach and would do anything for, him and his sperm donor share that aspect.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

And yet he targeted the wrong person, why did you all decide to target his mom when that asshole was the reason they ended up like that?!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh well Jataro was talking a lot about his mommy and how much she hated him for looking like her rapist so what a better way then to target the women that birth and raise him!

And besides, it's not like his mommy could do much anyway towards him; given how filial piety works, an attitude of respect for parents and ancestors in societies influenced by Confucian thought. If anything, she was powerless and he did far worse...

Kota Hashimoto was willing to persevere his own life over his own family like his brother and his family were toss aside, he didn't care about anyone else but himself; Monaca wouldn't be surprise if Kotoko wanted to kill him herself if she knew all this...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Then if that's the case, why didn't Junko just take care of this asshole?!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

And didn't Monaca tell all of you already, Big Sis Junko didn't care about the Warriors of Hope at all, she only care about Monaca, nothing else.

In fact, Monaca was even trusted with the broadcast system that Big Sis Junko use to broadcast her killing game and it's how she broadcasted the demon hunting game.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Wait so, so are you saying that you broadcasted the demon hunting game all across the world?!

Yeah, that would explain why Future Foundation knew what was going on in Towa City, Monaca was likely broadcasting the entire thing like Junko Enoshima, she wanted to make this into a show.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Indeed and look at that, thanks to that broadcast - we inspired so many kids and those that were abused to fight back and kill others; in fact I even heard there's some countries being run by kids, meaning they must have their own children's paradise!

So if anything, we had a good cause, huh?

[the-firebird69]

Star Trek Into Darkness

There are a few things happening and the girls trying to get the thing to stop it's their tribe they're real small and they have information about a lot of stuff so they're giving it some effort. This is coming up too this type of movie people are looking for information and they need it you can see why there's a lot of fear and anxiety please do it to our son every few minutes isn't that a future with you people here the only person you can rely on keeps putting in the mental hospital and this is doctor your nuts you're insane people you don't bake anything in reality until it's right on top of you stepping on you. We can't depend on you for anything and yeah sure it's an explanation we're not making excuses we're explaining why it's very logical to do what we're doing and the max are forcing it too. Don't stop them you don't want to that's understandable too and at Comic Con it's very evident you feel like the character what a son says is try and satisfy yourselves by having decent cosplay gone by it you have money he's tired of you slobs being idiots. Don't bring real weapons and ruin everyone's Day would have better gadgets kids have better fake guns than you is ridiculous when our son was little and he said some of that and she did too there there are guns where sparks would come out the front and they're fake you can see it. Nowadays you don't have anything like that and you're a bunch of jerks no you have it you just won't do it we're tired of it. You can avoid synthesizers you have those muscle latex things you could wear and you have a cool suit that you could wear that would actually look like a functioning space suit and other vein type things. Have them they circulate cold cold water and it has a fan and it cools the water by evaporation and they're legal in Comic Con and you wear it under the synthetic stuff and under all sorts of it and really you're horrible you won't do it 'cause you're jerks. He's gonna bring a big camel back with ice in it Is gonna be a camelback with ice and maybe start off the trend because you're so **** **** you think you have this huge secrets it's **** awful. And he was looking forward to it you don't want to do anything this is what you're gonna have to do in the future with no training and you won't have very many ships yourselves it's horrible and again rid of each other is horrible it's a nightmare here. There's some big points about this movie and you're missing them they're working with spock and that's still trump and he is going to be doing tons of movies and he'll be out of a lot of people's hair off and on constantly with a massive attitude eventually goes into a demon body. Does not show up here he won't be allowed here. His mom is allowed here on occasion but she notices that people make her very weak and she doesn't like doing it and she shouldn't what's her son is a lot stronger that's fine but not now so it's horrible but we need to regulate her because she can't control her sometimes and we know she's after and Tom Cruise does he's done the movie. And he gets it all the time. And he was torturing our son too and mom doesn't like either one of t.... and mom doesn't like either one of them he can't really do it but you know you like little kids you just wanna **** it all up and he says they make dirt pies they make **** pies and chocolate pies it's not much difference. If she gets it in a few others. The movie means that they're going with Star Trek they're going to investigate scan CAGAND information and they should because they suck. And that's the point that's why they're starting they also started a mission to go after JC and Mary this is what kicks it off is the search for smock which starts soon after this kind of event with actually captain Kirk the first and he does kick some **** and he knows who he's talking about. But a lot of people are falling off and losing and disappearing the story about Daniel Webster says his sons died they died a long time before but he thought it was this demo they found out it wasn't he found out that his other kids did it he doesn't like them and they'll be done soon.

Thor Freya

It's a sad state of affairs but they stopped smart people and they're dumb and they're going to go to Concord MA and try and raise the devil and he says oh yeah she be in Lexington and he says what a dummy and he says you're using some kind of something so it's on and I hear it now and the women are getting up to try and be her. I don't recommend it for several reasons.

mac daddy

Olympus

[marlasomething]

(my) Mag a Week: Last Guest For Mr. Spider

Hello there!

I am participating in the "a mag a day" idea by @a-mag-a-day which is BRILLIANT and I decided to do "statement a week", rolling dice with the characters and fears that were ftw that week in the episodes I have listened. This week I am publishing late...I have a hell of a week, sorry.

For today I rolled Archivist!Jane Prentiss (HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!) and The Hunt (Eps. 52-57).

As usual, please do forgive my quick tipper and non-native speaker mistakes, Marla

Allons-y!

CW: bullying, possesive behaviour, children's death, childhood trauma, mentions of paranoia

Also on AO3!

Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding the reappearance of his school bully almost a decade after his alleged death.

Recorded by Jane Prentiss, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

 I want to make something clear: I do not believe in the so-called supernatural. Never have, never will. Still, whatever happened to me last week is rather… odd and I do believe in the archival and research purposes of your institution, thereof my presence in here.

 Someone had, somehow, achieved human cloning in a… worrying manner.

Yes, yes, I know how it sounds, but it is the only logical explanation (though I do not doubt you will be making your own outrageous assumptions the moment I leave this place).

It all began last Friday, when I was leaving work…I am a journalist for The Hill Top Journal, the one managed by Raymond Fielding? You might have heard about it, even if your interests focus mostly around fake information, I am almost confident you also rely from time to time in factual truths.

And there is no one better at giving them than us. I am not being arrogant; this is just an empiric fact, sort to speak.

Anyways, this is all beside the point I was trying to make: last Friday, I was leaving work and I had an er… meeting with one of my closest friends, whose name I won’t reveal unless forced to, since I respect their intimacy, when I was pushed to the ground by a figure that barely reached my hip level. And, though I am completely aware of my quite small frame (both in width and height), a person that small shouldn’t have been able to throw me out of balance so easily.

I looked up, ready to grab the person’s arm and, in case of them being a minor; find their parents for an extremely serious talk.

As I did it, I froze. In front of me, with a cruel sardonic smile I thought I was never going to see again: Mike George, my personal bully when I was growing up while living with my grandmother. It had been over fifteen years since I last saw him, but there was no mistaking him; stocky in a soft way but with the clear promise of becoming rather extremely muscular the moment he decided to ill-mannerly obsessed over sports and going to the gym in an almost pathological manner (and he had been bound to, given his social circles), skin so pale his veins and arteries could be clearly seen palpitating violently every other second, short dark hair and a nose covered in freckles despite the rest of his skin being porcelain-like in that respect. There was no mistake possible to be made: he was him , only that he had not aged a day since the last time I saw him. The time I was certain I had caused his death...

…I guess that, before carrying on with the present moment, I shall explain myself, even if just in general terms.

 When I was very young, my parents passed away and I moved in with my grandmother. I wasn’t an easy, nor a nice, child, but that doesn’t excuse the attitude most of my new classmates showed me. From the stupid fact that I am not white to the jealously it made them feel when I knew the answer before most of them…they took every single breath coming from my lungs as a personal affront, especially Michael George.

He was all the clichés a male-presenting bully of the nineties could be and, just as his role required of him, there was nothing that annoyed him more than his so smart attacks having no effect on me. That is why he started following me after a couple of months where I made sure I only cried in front of my grandmother, who deduced it was because of my parents and just joined silently on my alleged mourning.

Back then I…right now it sounds ridiculous to say it out loud but…I used to have an imaginary friend, based on the character of a rather disturbing supposedly children’s book called A Guest from Mister Spider. She was a spider, I called her Mother because, well, I am not afraid to admit I had certain issues I am still working through and that I went to speak to her every day because, even using my imagination, I ought to be accurate and precise, so I only went where a spider the size of two sumo fighters put together (and a similar, if not more violent, attitude towards people she didn’t like) to the abandon building she liked to hid herself.

One day, Michael George discovered this safe space of mine and…well, started laughing at the fact that I was speaking to a completely empty two-story house in the middle of a street full of people. At this, I did something I didn’t know I had in me to do, though it was more out of the pure instinct than it was well-thought self-defence (I was already targeted every single moment I was at school, imagine if they had known that my best friend was an imaginary spider!).

I won’t lie: the moment I pushed him, adrenaline through my veins, the pray that I had always been finally becoming the predator…but it wasn’t me, I didn’t feel comfortable fitting those shoes and regretted what I had done almost immediately.

It was too late, though. From inside the building came a noise that, to me, sounded too much as someone’s bones being chewed by powerful jaws. However, since my adrenaline was over the rooftop and I was still partly afraid of Michael’s violence, I simply decided to conclude that his neck had been broken and the echo had just distorted the original sound.

Obviously, as I wasn’t a murderer (Good lord!), I started yelling for the help of an adult.

They clearly saw the corpse inside, though I didn’t find it in me to also look to see the lifeless body of my former stalker, and they were going to take me in for questioning when the body disappeared.

Just like that.

It was as if it had never happened.

I never spoke to Mother again, and nobody, not even some of those insane crazy theorists (that, of course, I have to push away from time to time), had claimed of having seen him.

Until now.

 Until I was lying on the street, the boy standing over me with an honest expression of being enjoying himself as much as possible. I tried to mutter his name, but just stuttered, He mocked how I had finally been left out of words to speak, he mocked that I was still a scrawny four-eye badly dressed weirdo (his words, not mine) and said something incredibly mean I didn’t thought he had the intellectual capacity for. “You have too much grey hair in there for such an still innocent person”.

I was perplexed: how could this clone say things like that with such a believable speck? Once again, he being a clone is the only logical explanation came with something completely out of the reach of what the original Michael George had been capable of.

He seemed to notice how much it was costing me to process the whole scene, so he started laughing and told me that “Actually, I have you to thank for. See? The eight-legged bitch you threw me to? She tried to whisper into my ear. To play with her food, I guess. I was going to have none of it and, somehow, I was able to absorb whatever bad energy you had used with me before and…with that extra force, I ripped the spider into small bits.

So, yep: thanks again, Jonny dear”. As he finished talking, I was not only scared, but also straight-up mad. Who on Earth had decided it was fun to toy with someone’s trauma this twisted way?

And, what was even more frustrating, why did anyone decide that, of all humankind, Michael George had to be the one brought back to life? Angry as I was, I rose from the floor and pushed him against the wall and, with my usual luck, a police officer saw me.

Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t precisely critic of my attitude.

“I completely understand some kids need a special hand, Mister, but, please, do it in a more private place. He will learn the lesson either way” as he left, the clone began speaking again.

“I have to respect this attitude. And don’t worry, Sims, you will not be seeing me unless I get superbored. After all, I had been like a lot of years going from orphanage to orphanage all around the World in countries where they speak a proper language” he meant English, the ignorant twat. “Just…keep those angry issues under a thin leash. If you were my actual equal, it would be so much more fun to murder you”.

 I haven’t heard of Michael George anymore since then, though I started to look up in my free time about him and his probable aliases with the help of my previously mentioned friend, who also happened to be a former policeperson (that didn’t end well for anyone involved, but none of your incumbency), and found a rather rich amount of information that I attach to this statement. I hope that you are able to do something useful with it, though I am not completely confident about it.

Especially, after speaking to that assistant of yours; Martin. I don’t like to speak ill of people I barely know but…useless ass. That’s it.

The thing is, that I cannot simply walk into my boss’ office and told him someone had cloned my childhood bully and study my past in an almost predatory way to create the most traumatic, vivid experience possible.

So it’s in your hands…I guess.

  Statement ends.

Well, Mister Sims didn’t lie when he said he had conducted a rather thorough investigation on this…immortal boy? I don’t even know anymore. Not until what happened with Amherst.

Anyway, the only critic I have for Mister Sims is that, next time, he should try and cover better his friend’s identity. Miss Daisy Tonner, as he had even left a printed chat between the information were her number, name and face are perfectly visible. That and, please, Jonahtan, take a little bit more of care of your personal hygiene and laundry.

There where you sat, now it is filled with cobwebs and spiders.

End recording.

  SUPPLEMENTAL: I am tired, so very tired. I have always believed in the supernatural and I thought that, maybe, accepting a job here was the right option. Plus, a way to actually put to well use my degree and instead of feeling useful I am here…talking to one of the worms that survived from John’s…I mean, Amherst’s attack, the poor thing trapped in a crystal jar while Tim is…acting cold? But he had always been cold, so I don’t see why I see that as a problem. Sasha grows increasingly paranoid questioning even me and my position as Head Archivist…AND I THOUGHT I FINALLY MEET A FRIEND THAT I COULD TRUST AND FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND.

And then, there is the question of Martin. Sweet, tender Martin, that doesn’t value himself enough and seems to have develop a crush on that asshole of Sims…I know he doesn’t like women that way but, if only he gave me the chance…

Wait, what is that worm? Do you really think you could help with…?

Oh, shit.

End recording.

[crantzypants]

Yes this is more Good Omens ideas. Come on up, take a seat! Extra thoughts in tags.

Now I’m not sure if the “take a DNA test and find out your family history/where your family came from” is big in the UK as it is in the states, but please think about Warlock and Adam taking them because OH BOY.

Adam, of course, takes it for fun because “What on earth are these scientists going to find?” and he, as well as the Them, just HAVE to know. Is it just going to come back with a letter saying it didn’t work? Will the Government come after them, and they can have a fun adventure out of it?

Of course it comes back, and not much to Adam’s shock, it comes back with the Young’s line. He had decided that his adopted parents were still his parents, that it didn’t matter because they have always been there for him and loved him, so of course it would come back matching. That’s what he believed it would really show, anyways.

But then you have Warlock, who probably had to do it for class, and his parents brushed it off. He just waits around, wondering why this craze interested people so much. All it did was confirm, in stone, who you are descended from. 

And then it comes back.

The test shows that he is from a “Young” family, not the Dowling line. His mother and father, of course, took a test themselves, and nothing about his results match. Warlock comes to his own conclusion that they must have adopted him, and did not realize that they should have told him. 

Mr. and Mrs. Dowling are terrified, because Mrs. Dowling REMEMBERS giving birth, which means there had to have been an accident in the hospital. Babies are swapped without realization every now and then, and this had to be the case here. While Mr. and Mrs. Dowling try to figure out what happened, Warlock finds the hospital he was born at and goes off on his own. Maybe he can find files or documents about his real birth parents, they could have been people that wanted to spend time with their child rather than pushing that duty off onto a Nanny, or the Gardner who had gone out of his way to spend time with the child.

Maybe they would have loved him more, and that feeling aches deeply in his chest.

Grabbing all the money from his room, and sneaking a healthy number of pounds out of Mr. Dowling’s wallet, Warlock takes off. 

It is a bit difficult, navigating his way to the correct bus station. He was never allowed out on his own, but he knows the trains and tube stops and buses. It just means he has to pay extra attention, and all of it would be worth it if he could find out where his birth parents are. 

It’s a long trip. He is able to navigate his way to the bus that leads to Tadfield. After shifting modes of transport all night, he finally can make it to the Hospital. It’ll be an early arrival, about 10 in the morning.

But when he gets there, it turns out it isn’t a hospital anymore. The nice manager says that there was a fire a bit after he was born, and destroyed every bit of paperwork. So of course now Warlock is left alone, at 11 in the morning in some small nowhere town with no easy way to get back home, so begins to just...walk. 

It’s a nice little town, the flowers aren’t nearly as well kept as the one’s at the Dowling residence, and most of the roads aren’t even paved. He steps out of the way of a group of children on their bikes, hooting and hollering about the Witch in Jasmine Cottage and what their palms had to say about their future. 

Warlock never really believed too hard in magic or the occult, but you know what? He had gone this far, and maybe this was a sign. A next step towards understanding where he came from. Where was the harm in hoping?

So he wanders around, looking for this witch, and sitting in a fork in the road is a house with a neat, beautifully written sign saying “Jasmine Cottage.” Sitting in front is a lovely bicycle, a Bentley, and a hellish vehicle called a Robin (he never understood the fascination for a car with three wheels). Warlock takes a breath, and decides to knock on the door. 

A nice lady opens the door, wearing something clearly not of this time period. But she also did not seem very witchy.

“Oh, hello! Are you one of Adam’s friends?” Oh, she was American! Living in a small town in England. Hearing the accent was mildly comforting, a small spot of familiarity to his current life.

“Well, no, actually, I had overheard that you were a witch? And that you did palm readings and I was wondering that...was hoping that you might read mine? That maybe you could tell me where I need to go next?”  

Anathema can’t just leave this kid out on the stoop, and she can only sense that he came from a good distance away. How did this American kid end up here? Was he from the army base? Can’t be, that’s too close. She invites him in, and reassures him it’s ok, she has tea made and guests over, and a phone if he has to call his parents. 

It’s a cozy place, and there are three people already sitting in the kitchen, a younger man stammering on about car maintenance, and two older looking men, one who is casually reading and sipping his tea, and the other who is trying to give the suggestion to just get a better car, honestly, please for the safety of everyone in England.

But of course Warlock INSTANTLY recognizes the older man with the sunglasses resting on his forehead. “Nanny?” he says, out of pure shock.

And his Nanny goes from mildly slumped to sitting straight up, turning around to see the young boy. “Warlock?” He can’t not try to hide from the child he helped raise. Warlock rushes directly into his Nanny and hugs him while starting to sob, unable to breath but needing so desperately to tell Nanny what had happened, and of course Crowley can’t NOT hold him back, gently cooing at his godson to calm down and breath, rubbing a small circle into his back. Anathema and Newt have No Idea what is happening, and Aziraphale has to try to explain quietly some of the details without giving his and Crowley’s whole “Some babies got swapped and we’re also not human” thing. 

Once Crowley is able to calm Warlock down enough, Warlock says everything that happened; the DNA test, learning that the Dowling’s weren’t his real birth parents, hoping that he could find his real ones, that maybe they still wanted him or that they loved him more than his adopted parents. Crowley’s heart breaks at seeing him so distressed, and begins to understand how the swapping ended up, after 13 years now. That the Young’s son was given to the Downlings, and that the Antichrist was given to the Youngs. He would figure out where the Dowling’s birth son was one day, but that wasn’t nearly important at the moment.

Newt, not reading the room terribly well, notes that Adam’s last name is Young. Everyone else gives a small look reading “Really? Right now? We cannot get this poor boy’s hopes up.” Warlock is so close to meeting his real parents. They are right here, in town, his Nanny and Gardner and this nice witch know them.

Warlock begs to see them, and while everyone is stammering to figure out the right way to approach this, Aziraphale suggests they all go over together. Like a support group for Warlock. To make sure he is ok, no matter what happens.

So they head over and Mr. and Mrs. Young are very confused at the appearance of this young boy. And after Warlock tells the story to the Young parents, before Anathema, Newt, Crowley, or Aziraphale can say anything, start even a fabrication to explain how the tests clearly show that Adam AND Warlock are their sons, Mr. Young begins talking.

“You know, there was something odd that night, when Adam was born. I wasn’t allowed to be there for his birth, but when I went in after, there were two babies. I had asked if we actually had twins and the Nun had reacted, well, looking back I would say rather odd. You don’t think...”

And Mrs. Young was in far too much pain and far too tired and on medicine to even recall the birthing process. “I mean...it’s possible. But why would they separate them? And then swap him for the son of an American Ambassador? They were a tad weird, those nuns, always up to something a bit satanic.”

And without anyone else trying, Mr. and Mrs. Young just accept that they had really had twins, and that the hospital was run by a weird cult posing as nuns who did some WEIRD things on the day Adam and Warlock were born. 

Warlock is so happy there was an answer to where he came from. That he has a whole brother to get to know, that after not seeing his Nanny or the Gardner from the age of Ten that he is able to see them again. His adopted parents had thought that having a Nanny for too long would harm his growth somehow, that he would not be able to fend for himself, and had let her go. And wherever his Nanny went, the Gardner went as well.

Mr. and Mrs. Young agree that Warlock should stay for dinner, but that they HAVE to contact the Dowling’s. No matter what happens later, at that moment, they are still Warlock’s legal guardians, and also members of the AMERICAN GOVERNMENT. The last thing anyone needs is for the U.S. to start busting down doors looking for a child that isn’t lost.

Warlock isn’t glad about it, but understands. And he just, asks questions. He wants to know everything, and the Young’s aren’t the most exciting people ever, but it starts getting late and Adam comes home and is mildly confused at first, because there are a lot of people in the house. But he’s a smart kid, he can catch on as to what is happening, knows that this other kid in the house must be the one that he had been switched out for.

Warlock is thrilled to meet his “brother,” so curious about his world, and Adam is smart enough to play along for the moment, just until he can ask the angel and demon the nitty-gritty details.

Mrs. Dowling pulls in a few hours after dinner, worried sick about him, because he UP and VANISHED without their knowing. Mrs. Dowling talks briefly with the Youngs, because there has to be all sorts of issues that this revelation would cause. As well as the fact that the child Dowling gave birth to is just somewhere in the world, with luck.

Before Mrs. Dowling takes Warlock back to their home, Warlock makes sure to get the Young’s number, as well as Crowley’s cellphone and Aziraphale’s shop number. Warlock needs people right now, needs to know that he can call for help, or to spend a weekend or holiday somewhere if his parents continue to prioritize work over him. He knows legally, he’ll be under the care of the Dowlings until he is old enough, but until then, he can at least start building a family that loves him

[kim-seung-mo]

𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕌𝕡 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔾𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕋𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 (ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕃𝕚𝕟𝕖)

♩ gn!reader, angst with the slightest of fluff, romance, emotional, miscommunication, crying, cursing (in changbin's scenario)

♩♩ word count: 2.5k

♩♩♩ A/N: might do maknae line might not, idk lol, running out of ideas

wip list here maknae line here

Chan

Reason for breaking up: He thinks you deserve someone better

Chan had this hidden fear ever since the beginning when he chose to be with you.

He loves you very much, more than anyone else in the world.

But he believed that he didn't have time to be with you properly.

That hidden fear has been tormenting him silently.

Every time he sees the sacrifices you make because of him, he feels terribly bad.

He felt that if it was someone else, they could definitely make you happier.

And so, when he came home at four o'clock in the morning once again to see you sleeping on the couch, the guilt that had been suppressed inside him exploded out.

"Y/N, let's… Break up. It's not you who's not good enough, don't ever think that it's you …… It's me, it's my problem. I just don't think I could ever make you as happy as you deserve to be."

You have no idea how much courage it took for him to say that.

Separation time: three months, two weeks and four days

He remembered every day exactly.

He was the one who initiated the breakup, but it was also he who couldn't endure the feeling of loneliness.

He couldn't help but miss the days when he had you, couldn't help but look through his phone for everything about you.

Your photos, the text messages between the two of you, the voice messages you left for him.

But for three months, you never reached out to him either.

Maybe he was right, and you were indeed happier without him.

But it felt like a hole had opened up in his heart and kept bleeding out.

The thought, the fact that "you'd be happier without him" was killing him.

How you got back together: The members went to you

Although Chan himself did not come to talk to you, and always pretended that everything was normal in front of others, his members, who knew him best, saw him clearly.

Chan without you simply wasn't Chan.

The first people who couldn't take it were Changbin and Jisung, who needed to work with him to produce music.

The two of them called you one after another to ask you what was wrong with your relationship.

You answered them truthfully that it was Chan who wanted to break up with you because he felt that "you deserved someone better".

After a bit of conversation, you realized that you had completely misunderstood Chan's intentions.

You thought that "you deserved someone better" was just a euphemism.

You always thought he was just tired of you, tired of your normality.

You always thought that Chan was just too kind-hearted to say such words more straightforwardly.

You didn't even think that he actually really thought that you deserved someone better.

For you, he was the perfect one, and no one could compare to him.

No one could ever make you feel as happy as he does.

So, after learning the real reason for your breakup, you immediately went to him and told him what you really thought.

He cried for a long time, apologized to you, and explained how confused he had been.

You both agreed that from now on you had to tell each other about any emotional confusion, and the two of you would discuss the situation together.

Minho

Reason for breaking up: You thought he didn't love you

Even after being together, his attitude towards you didn't seem to be different from before.

It seemed that even though you became his lover, your place in his heart remained the same.

Apart from the addition of the title "lover", it was exactly the samel.

You wondered if he really liked you.

Did he really like you, or was he only using you as an excuse to avoid others?

What you didn't know was that it wasn't that he didn't love you, but that he didn't dare to show his love for you.

He thought you were in love with the "Minho" you knew, which is why he didn't dare to show any changes.

He only dared to kiss you secretly on the forehead and say his "I love you"s when you were asleep.

"Minho, I don't think we should continue like this."

When he heard you say that, he felt as if time had been paused.

"What does that mean?"

"I can't lie to myself like this anymore, let's break up."

He saw the sadness in your eyes, the love in your eyes seemed to have faded quite a bit, and suddenly he couldn't say a word.

He thought that it was you who didn't love him.

Separation time: five days

If Jisung hadn't taken five days to find out you two had broken up, this time might have been less.

He couldn't believe that you two had broken up.

"Did you bring up the breakup? Hyung, why? Tell me the reason."

"It wasn't me… It was Y/N."

Jisung's eyes widened, as if he was even more confused.

"Y/N wanted to break up with you? What on earth did you do to them?"

"I don't know, Jisung, I don't know. Y/N doesn't seem to love me anymore."

Jisung had never seen such a heartbroken expression on Minho's face.

He knew Minho wouldn't go and talk to you himself, so he had to do it for him.

How you got back together: Han Jisung talked to you for a long time

"There must be some kind of misunderstanding in this, you definitely aren't out of love with hyung, right?"

As you opened the door, before you had a chance to see who was in front of you, he had already opened his mouth and was talking in a rapper's pace.

You froze for a moment before realizing that he was talking about Minho.

You didn't know what to say, so you just told him "I don't want to lie to myself anymore".

He frowned and asked you what you meant by that, so you explained to him what had happened.

"I don't want to lie to myself and tell myself that he loves me, he doesn't love me at all."

"But Minho hyung told me that it was you who didn't love him anymore."

He then soon realized that the reason you and Minho had broken up was purely because of a communication problem.

He was afraid that if he changed and showed more love to you, you would feel uncomfortable and weirded out.

And you, on the other hand, have been expecting that change, wanting his love but not daring to ask for it.

That was how it turned out to be.

After learning this fact, you felt remorseful and hated yourself for not being more straightforward.

And after you found Minho to tell him your feelings, the way he looked at you changed instantly.

He removed all pretense and revealed his most genuine feelings.

His endless love for you, and a lasting kiss.

Changbin

Reason for breaking up: He was just mad at you and said it to scare you, but didn't think you'd take it seriously

You were fighting again over petty things, and this wasn't the first time today.

You both were a bit competitive and always wanted to prove each other wrong.

So whenever you couldn't agree on something, you would start debating.

He's been a little stressed lately, with little inspiration for composing, and after having an argument with you, his mood could be considered to have hit rock bottom.

"Seo Changbin! You're tossing your clothes everywhere again! How many times have I told you to fold your clothes properly or throw them in the laundry bin?"

He slammed his hat down in front of you with anger, glaring at you with red eyes.

"If so many things about me upset you, why don't we just fucking break up!?"

You happened to have experienced a lot of rough patches today, and the anger came rushing in.

"Fine! You said it! Let's break up! So I won't ever have to care about your bullshit ever again!"

You dropped those words and left, not even leaving him with a spare look.

Separation time: a few hours

He never actually admitted that you broke up, but out of fear of losing face, he didn't chase after you.

He thought this was a good time for you both to calm down.

But as he laid in the cold bed without you at night, he couldn't help but start thinking about what he would do if you really did break up.

Without you… He might not be able to live a normal life at all.

No kiss from you when he wakes up, no sharing of happiness with you, no hugs from you in times of distress, no cheering for him when he gets off stage…

He began to regret, you have already made so many sacrifices for him, why couldn't he give in to you a little on such trivial things? You were the person who loved him the most, so why did he always have to argue with you?

If you really broke up because of such a minor thing, he would have hated himself for the rest of his life.

Thinking of this, he picked up the jacket you folded for him aside and rushed out of the house.

How you got back together: He went straight to you to talk it over

Although it says "getting back together ", he simply did not approve of the breaking of your relationship.

He would not let this relationship end, absolutely no chance.

He knew where you would go when you were sad, so it took less than ten minutes to find you.

When he saw you wiping your tears, he felt his heart ache.

Because of his words, words that were never meant to be said, you were crying.

He wanted to slap himself, but you were the priority right now.

He came running to your side and put his jacket on your back.

"You know, I didn't mean any of that, right?"

You moved in the opposite direction, ignoring him.

"Y/N… scold me, hit me or whatever, just don't ignore me ……"

You glanced at him and frowned when you saw that he wasn't wearing a jacket.

"Why did you only bring me a jacket? Where's your own?"

He smiled when he heard your caring remark.

"I guess you still care about me. You were lying about the "never having to care about my bullshit" part, weren't you?"

You turned to face him, looked at the dark circles under his eyes, and reached out to touch them with a bit of concern.

"Have you not been resting well lately? Or is there something not going well at work? Earlier when you said you wanted to… Break up, it really freaked me out. Even knowing that you were just talking out of your ass to scare me, I …… I couldn't help but think that you were serious."

He grabbed your wrist and brought you into his arms.

"Of course I wasn't serious …… I love you so much, how could I ever actually want to break up with you? Besides, I've long been ready to be bossed around by you for the rest of my life."

Hyunjin

Reason for breaking up: You lied and told him you didn't love him anymore

You've been together since forever, since before his debut.

Your relationship has always been stable, never had more than a few fights over the years.

People around him say that he was a completely different person before and after he met you.

"Maybe that's the kind of change love can make in a person?"

He even sometimes felt that a large part of his success today was due to you.

You were there for him when things were hardest, and always stayed by his side to be his support.

So, when you told him "I don't love you anymore", his reaction was predictable.

Disbelief, disapproval, feeling that it was ridiculous, feeling that you were lying to him, crying, a lot of tears, crying constantly, feeling that the world was going to collapse down on him.

But your expression was calm, even as you watched him in pain, you didn't come up and hold him in your arms as usual, telling him in a gentle voice "I'm here, it's okay".

"Why?"

Although he didn't want to hear the answer, he asked anyway.

"It's just that… I don't love you anymore. When I'm with you, I don't feel love anymore."

He didn't understand why you had made it through the hardest times with him, only to choose to leave him when you finally saw the light at the end, when you could finally enjoy happiness.

Why? Because you were lying to him.

Separation time: 3 weeks

Hyunjin's life was turned upside down.

He couldn't seem to get up any energy to do anything.

He would still go to work as usual, practice dancing and singing, and stand on stage to perform to STAY.

But there was just something different.

It was as if, his enthusiasm had disappeared.

This was extremely frustrating for everyone.

He hadn't even touched his paintbrush for three weeks.

His room was always dark, and you could always see him lying on the bed, curled up in a ball when you went in.

If you listened carefully, you could hear the faint sound of sobs.

"What can I ever do when I can't even keep my beloved? How can I keep my fans?"

"Maybe I don't have charisma at all, otherwise how come Y/N would ……"

Every night he would have the same nightmare of what you said the day you left him.

Until……

"Hyunjin's recent performance has been really concerning…"

Hyunjin heard his name as he passed by a JYP office.

"Didn't you say that if you let them break up, he could focus more on his career?"

"I didn't expect Y/N to be so important to him!"

Hyunjin's pupils shrank.

"Maybe, it was wrong to talk Y/N into breaking up with him after all……"

How you got back together: Rushing to you and crying

It was raining heavily outside, but he still rushed to the apartment where you live without any hesitation and kept knocking on the door of your house.

The moment you opened it, he was already venting his feelings, saying to you in a voice you've never heard before.

"I knew you were lying to me! They made you break up with me, didn't they? They're the ones who-"

Before he could finish his sentence, tears came rushing to his eyes once again, he grabbed your shoulders and kept shaking them, wanting an answer from you.

You try to rebut him, but he spoke again before you could say anything.

"I heard them, I heard it all. They're wrong, Y/N, and you breaking up with me will only make me- only make me feel like I'm broken and can't function. I know you must still love me, you still love me, right? If you don't love me, why are you crying now?"

He hugged you tightly, and this time, he would never let go.

"Never again will you lie to me and say you don't love me …… I would rather die than have to admit to something like that."

permanent taglist: @zoe8stay @yutaalove @seungly @chewryy @cosmic-railwayxo @starlostseungmin

[random-yandere-fandom]

May I request Tendou Satori and Meilodas with a s/o who does not care that he is a yandere but sets some ground rules like no kidnapping her but other than that they fine with it.

Wooohoooooo! My first Haikyuu request! I am thrilled! Hell yeah!

Also, I added Ban to this request since I’ve been itching to write for him for a while now. Hope you don’t mind, enjoy~

Yandere Tendou with a darling who sets ground rules

The moment you ask to speak with him he is nervous wreck, barely hiding apprehensiveness. The two of you haven’t been together for very long and you looked quite serious, it doesn’t take much for Tendou to assume the worst case scenario. He’ll try to joke about it, his fidgeting giving him away as he awaits your reaction. Surely you would glare at him now, disliking the fact that he would joke as you would break up with him. He sighs in relief when you instead give an amused smile, reassuring him that it’s nothing bad but something that still needs to be discussed.

You sit him down across from you and suddenly he feels as if he was about to be interrogated, your gaze fixed on him and gauging his reactions. Your former comfort is the only thing keeping him sane in that moment as he tries not to move around too much. You start the conversation with a clear statement that leaves him stunned. Explaining that you knew of his obsessive and even stalker habits you watch as he starts sputtering, his mind in overdrive as he tries to come up with an excuse. Before he can continue you stop him, explaining that while you were not particularly worried about his behavior you still wished to set a few ground rules. You go on to tell him that you have thought about which rules to set for a long time and that this relationship is important to you - he can’t help but blush as you do the same at admitting the sentiment so early in the relationship - which is why you decided to do this.

Tendou listens attentively while you recite each rule, thankful that you want to be with him despite his habits, adding a comment here and there, agreeing to each point you make. It’s noticeable that you put a lot of effort into this and he can’t help but feel blessed that you are working so hard to make this relationship strive. Though he does find some rules ridiculous, he would never kidnap you, even if he could see the advantages of such an action. Still, if you feel better with this he has no choice but to comply, that is the least he can do.

Once you are finished you smile, satisfied with this talk. As your boyfriend sits up he confesses how worried he was before wrapping his arms around you, hugging you tightly as he whispers a thanks for wanting to be with him despite everything. He is close to tears at that point, relief and happiness that you accept him almost overwhelming him.

From then on he can’t help but put you even more on a pedestal, admiring you and practically suffocating you with affection. He feels so much more relaxed now, even when he sometimes falls back into his insecurities, the reassurance that you love him so much and feel comfortable enough to openly communicate your boundaries pulls him right back up. He follows your rules, too, careful to always keep them in mind even if it is hard sometimes, the struggle is worth it. 

Yandere Meliodas with a darling who sets ground rules

Setting some rules with him is not a choice but more of a necessity, this guy is possessive and protective to a fault and is not ashamed of it. He might hide it behind a cheerful attitude and apologize to you if he does anything he considers drastic but that has never stopped him from acting on his urges. You will need to talk to him as soon as you notice his behavior or otherwise you risk getting kidnapped and forced to travel with him. 

He’ll don a neutral face when you start the conversation, expression unreadable as he listens to your demands while he contemplates how to answer. He’ll pretend to be embarrassed that you noticed his intentions but the facade isn’t hard to look through as he avoids agreeing with you. Gaze averting he chuckles nervously as you tell him to focus as this is important to you. It’s not his objective to upset you and so he slowly starts to refute some of the arguments, making sure to promise to comply to some of the rules to keep you calm. 

Meliodas was planning to woo you, there is no question that this is not what he planned and expected to happen. Though he does feel relieved that you seem to accept him nonetheless, thankful that there is at least one good thing about this.

When he won’t outright agree with everything you keep pushing him, making his nonchalant smile disappear as he becomes serious, explaining that following these rules could even endanger you, the safest place for you to be is beside him and sometimes you would have to travel for that. Depending on when this is all taking place there is the option though that the Seven Deadly Sins are finally accepted in the kingdom again and so the topic of maybe settling down with you crosses his mind. He does not bring it up, not yet at least and changes the topic, distracting you in some way or another.

Meliodas is not planning to simply dismiss your feeling though and he even feels impressed that you are so open with him, glad that you trust him so much. He’ll try his best to follow your rules and you notice, the smile and small thank you each time convincing him that doing so is a good thing. However, there will be times that he judges that he simply has to break one or two rules and while regrettable he won’t hesitate to do so, apologizing afterwards and leaving you alone to cool off if you wish so, understanding that he upset you.

Yandere Ban with a darling who sets ground rules

Similar to Meliodas, setting some rules is a must with Ban, his possessiveness being almost insufferable and his protectiveness more often than not feeling overwhelming along with his clinginess making it hard to get stuff done. Sure there are times where he is off to fight but even then there is not much you can do. His controlling behavior stems from his worry for you though and it’s hard to say no to him with his damn smile.

When you set your boundaries he is seriously paying attention, head resting on his hand and his gaze set on you, patiently waiting for you to finish. He can’t help but crack a smile, finding it quite adorable and lovable that despite you telling him off for some stuff, you still make it clear that you love and appreciate him and that you only wish for him to tone it down a bit. Seeing as you are most likely travelling with him either way kidnapping is unnecessary but instead you ask him to give you some room to breathe along with thinking twice before harming some strangers just because they treated you in some way that Ban decided wasn’t polite enough. 

The guy is very well aware that his demeanor up till now was anything but normal and that something like this was due some time. As such, he is already prepared to answer, grinning and asking you if you don’t like him being so affectionate in a teasing tone as he leans dangerously close, gleefully noting your bashful expression and you denying that claim before leaning back and turning serious. Above all else Ban wants you to be comfortable and safe around him and he takes it as a good sign that you are so honest with him, despite the slight annoyance that he might have to hold back a bit now.

He’ll agree to your terms, admitting that he actually expected you to address this sooner or later. There will be times that he won’t follow the rules however and he tells you so beforehand, yet promising that you and your opinion are important to him and that he will do his best. His whole body language and his expression will show how sincere he is, not breaking eye contact as he vows to take your request to heart.

After he has made sure that you are content he will drag you onto his lap, asking you to repeat the part where you confessed your undying love, his words, not yours, in a joking manner. Still, he will stay true to his word, however he can’t help but tease you a bit, seeing just how flustered he can get you. There will also be moments where you will actively have to remind him of his promise as you hold him back from assaulting a random person for running into you on accident, even if he would never admit that he is actually very much overplaying his reaction just to enjoy yours.