#which could have been highly traumatic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saturnsbabyboii · 2 years ago

Text

⚝Pluto Through the Houses⚝

(Brought to you by Sailor Pluto)

(I apologize for the wonky layout and writing. This one took it out of me for some reason)

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

Did you know that Pluto was only discovered in 1930? Many associate it with mystery and darkness. In astrology, Pluto is said to represent our dark side or shadow self, as well as humanity's. As the furthest planet from the Sun its orbit around the system takes around 248 years, and due to its eccentricity, it can take between 12 to 31 years to pass through a sign. Pluto rules Scorpio and the Eighth House, and it is considered the last of the transcendental planets and the higher octave of Mars.

The energy of Pluto may not be obvious, but its effects can be overwhelming. Pluto is associated with transformation, regeneration, and rebirth. Although Pluto's influence can be unpleasant, it is effective. It compels us to discard the old and embrace the new, and we must be prepared for this change. Otherwise, we may find ourselves trapped in misery. Pluto challenges us to transcend our limitations, undergo a process of redemption, and emerge stronger as a result. Despite its creative abilities, Pluto also has a destructive side. It governs the underworld, crime, and subversive activities such as terrorism and dictatorships. Pluto represents secrecy and concealment of hidden activities. Nobody can deny Pluto's power and intensity, as it also rules atomic power. Its energy is often directed toward the masses and their collective actions. Pluto urges people to look inward and explore their subconscious, even if it's frightening. Pluto has a way of pushing people's buttons.

The planet Pluto symbolizes intense changes, mutations, removals, sexuality, attraction, influence, and confidentiality. It brings destruction that leads to rebirth, trauma, and hidden mysteries. It represents things underneath the surface, the subconscious, violence, power, control, obsessions, desires, dictators, sadistic individuals, death, kidnapping, coercion, viruses, waste, violent characters, powerful and instinctive, and possessing hidden strengths. Pluto governs Scorpio and is related to sexual organs and excretion.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

⚝Pluto in the 1st house⚝

When Pluto is located in your first house, it suggests that you possess a commanding aura and possess a fervent and fervid personality. This planetary position indicates that your body is robust and can endure considerable strain. Nevertheless, having Pluto in the first house comes with difficulties. It suggests that you experienced a traumatic event during your childhood that has had a profound impact on you. Planets that are located in the first house are highly influential and have a potent influence on the physical realm.

Pluto in the first house has a big impact on the native's personality and self-expression. Someone with this placement typically possesses a strong desire for transformation and renewal in one's life and the possibility of profound psychological insight and understanding. Those who have Pluto in their first house may desire control. As such, they develop a tendency to assert their power in their relationships and interactions with others. They must remain aware of their proclivity for manipulation and direct their energy toward constructive and positive endeavors. When meeting new people, you may feel as if you are an outsider. This could be because you feel different and excluded as if you have a special purpose or reality. As a result, you may approach the world with caution and a desire to keep a safe distance between your true self and the outside. This is to avoid being duped or caught up in the plans of others.

Pluto in the first house also indicates that you may have been subjected to significant trauma and emotional pain as a child, which can cause you to emit an intense and dark aura that others can easily detect. People tend to perceive who you are, ignoring anything other than your physical appearance or any superficial traits, mostly out of fear. You have a magnetic personality that makes a strong first impression. When people meet you, they either love you or hate you, and some may even be irrationally attracted to you. Here, Pluto gives you power through charisma. With Pluto in this position, you may be perceived as powerful, intense, and mysterious, which may cause some people to be suspicious of you. Others may notice your strength, but you may prefer to be reserved and secretive, valuing and protecting your privacy.

Pluto, being the furthest planet from the Sun and shrouded in darkness and mystery, is comparable to people with Pluto in the first house in that they are difficult to understand, even for those who have known them for a long time. In astrology, Pluto is associated with power and control, and a strong Pluto in the natal chart can indicate a control freak or someone obsessed with power. With Pluto in the first house, the issue of personal power becomes especially important. Pluto in the first house indicates that you discover power within yourself, and it is a fundamental aspect of your identity for people like you. You learned early on to protect and save yourself because you were forced to find your power when you couldn't rely on others. This placement makes you extremely resilient, but despite what others may think, you frequently feel insecure.

You have a fear of rejection or not being accepted for who you are, which is likely a painful experience you had when you were young. Pluto in the first house can also indicate a very strong ego and people with this placement often find it difficult to forgive others. This placement can make you vengeful and uncooperative when feeling opposed or controlled, especially if you have difficult aspects. However, because your natal Pluto is in the first house, you have above-average regenerative abilities, which means you can experience deep renewal several times throughout your life, even when most people are unable to. This is true both physically and mentally.

You may have endured significant trauma that has affected you in various ways throughout your life. The first house represents a person's early years, starting from their birth, and Pluto's positioning in this house could signify a challenging childhood experience. Many individuals with this placement may have encountered abuse and violence, particularly during their formative years, were born prematurely, or were themselves set up for a controlled life since birth. Pluto is a planet associated with the darker side of astrology, making it complex to navigate. Although not always violent, it often is. In the first house of the natal chart, Pluto typically points towards power struggles that may have occurred within the family during the individual's childhood. Perhaps their parents exerted dominance and exploited them in some way, as this is a common manifestation of Pluto. Such early experiences can have a long-lasting impact on a person's life, similar to how a nail leaves a hole even after it is removed from the wall. Pluto can cause profound wounds in the soul, and some people with Pluto in the first house may find it difficult to recover from such profound pain.

If Pluto is negatively aspected in the chart, the individual may exhibit irritability. However, if Pluto is positively aspected, the individual may possess strong healing abilities and be able to help others effectively. By working through their issues, they can inspire others to do the same and lead by example.

⚝Pluto in the 2nd house⚝

The presence of Pluto in the 2nd house can lead to profound transformations in their relationship with their possessions, finances, and self-worth. This placement often signals a strong desire to establish control and power over one's material resources, which can have both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, it can result in great financial success and the ability to accumulate wealth and resources. On the other hand, it can lead to an unhealthy fixation on money and material possessions, which can cause significant stress and anxiety. It's crucial for individuals with Pluto in the 2nd house to strive for a healthy balance between their desire for control and their need for emotional fulfillment and stability.

Individuals with this placement typically keep their wealth and financial status hidden and may appear more modest than they are. They possess a resourceful and intuitive understanding of how to manage finances and make assets yield profit. It's worth noting that many wealthy individuals have Pluto in the 2nd house due to this placement's association with extreme financial success.

This position denotes a strong desire for material possessions and financial success. When you want something, you want it. People with Pluto in the second house are obsessed with what they want. They can devise brilliant plans to achieve their financial objectives, but they can also find ways to obtain what they desire in other areas of life. Pluto is the planet of authority. When it is placed in the second house, you feel the need to control your life, as well as the ability to control others through money. Regarding people as your possession and treating them as such. This could be a problem in your relationships. A natal Pluto in the second house indicates that you want to be in charge of your finances and that you can be secretive about money. Here, there is a lot of conflict between mine (the second house) and yours (Pluto and the eighth house), giving proclivity to want what others have, as well as, wanting something just for the sake of owning it.

Individuals with Pluto in the second house may tend to hold onto material possessions and people due to a fear of letting go. This can lead to an overly materialistic mindset and a failure to recognize the importance of non-material aspects of life. Pluto's placement in the second house can also bring painful life lessons related to material possessions, with the goal of teaching individuals to let go and not prioritize money above all else. Those with Pluto in the second house may struggle with self-esteem and a belief that their worth is tied to their wealth. This may stem from childhood experiences of financial crisis and feeling undervalued. However, they need to learn that their value as a person is not defined by their financial status. Obsessive spending and self-destructive behavior may also be manifestations of this placement. Overall, it is crucial to recognize the potential fears and subconscious issues associated with Pluto in the second house and work towards healthy ways of managing them.

It's very likely that you've faced financial challenges during childhood. Your family may have experienced financial difficulties or lacked financial management skills, resulting in the deprivation of possessions or resources. However, these early struggles can be a powerful motivator for you to strive for financial success later in life. Pluto's influence is strong and resilient, making it difficult to overcome. But with this placement, you have the ability to conquer financial obstacles and turn debt into wealth. A natal Pluto in the second house can manifest as resourcefulness and transformation, which are common traits found in the charts of successful and wealthy individuals. This placement may also make you rebel against the norms and authority figures imposed on you as a child. Buried anger and frustrations may surface during times of crisis. In extreme cases, this placement can lead to greed and a willingness to do anything for money and power. A natal Pluto in the second house can indicate a career in research, banking, managing money, taxation, or investments. But because Pluto also rules the underworld in astrology, this placement may also suggest involvement in sex work or crime. You may earn money through partnerships or even inheritances if supported by the chart.

⚝Pluto in the 3rd house⚝

Your communication style can be intense and transformative. Your words hold a lot of weight and may have a powerful effect on those who hear them. However, this can also lead to power struggles and communication breakdowns in your relationships. It's important to find a balance between expressing your truth and respecting others' perspectives. Remember to listen as much as you speak and be open to learning from those around you. The third house is associated with siblings, early childhood, primary education, and your immediate surroundings. Pluto in the third house indicates that you are a deep thinker with a powerful mind. However, you may struggle with direct or blunt communication. Connecting with others may have been difficult for you as a child, which has left an impression on you as an adult. With Pluto in the third house, you are attracted to what is concealed and what is left unsaid. You understand the hidden machinery and what is secretly at stake when communicating with others. Your communication takes into account underlying information, and you are aware of the subtle quirks and changes in others' body language and speech.

Having Pluto in the third house may indicate a challenging start to your life, with some individuals experiencing traumatic childhood events. However, it's important to note that several indicators in the chart must be present for this to be the case. When Pluto has harmonious aspects, its effects are much lighter. People with Pluto in the third house often keep family secrets and may have intense or dark relationships with siblings. They may also use code language or have an interest in the local underground scene or criminal activity.

For some individuals, trauma may have occurred within their peer groups or school environments. This can result in deep emotional wounds, feelings of isolation and misunderstanding, and potential speech problems that require therapy. It's common for those with this placement to feel like they don't fully fit in and to encounter power struggles or betrayal.

If Pluto in the third house has hard aspects, there may be difficulties with neighbors or relatives and a higher risk of accidents. However, harmonious aspects can bring strong and beneficial connections with friends and family. It's important to be cautious when driving or in traffic.

There's a possibility of experiencing family bereavement, specifically the loss of siblings. The third house in your natal chart represents various people in your life, including your siblings. As such, your relationship with your siblings might be strained. You may perceive them to be self-centered, powerful, or even dangerous. If there are hard aspects to Pluto from Mars, Saturn, or Uranus, it can indicate rivalry between you and your siblings. Pluto is linked to power struggles, which can manifest in your relationship with your siblings or relatives. People with this placement may have experienced verbal abuse from their family members, and often have a sarcastic sibling or family member. On the other hand, if your natal chart shows harmonious aspects with Pluto in the third house, it can indicate a powerful sibling who acts as a protector in your relationship. You may hold them in high regard, and your siblings may initiate a transformational process in your life.

You possess a strong grasp of the power of communication. This placement implies you are selective about what you share with others and have the ability to keep and uncover secrets. You are also skilled at collecting data and piecing together small bits of information. You have an inquisitive and powerful mind, with a tendency to obsess over thoughts, overanalyze and not give up until you find a solution. However, this thinking process may differ drastically from those around you, making it difficult to connect with your peers. At times, you may come across as blunt or shocking to others. An unevolved Pluto in the third house may suggest an aggressive personality. These individuals do not sugarcoat their feelings and can manipulate others through their words and gestures. As they mature, they become extremely persuasive communicators. This placement indicates a fascination with taboos and mysteries, such as the occult, psychology, death, sex, and crime. Individuals with Pluto in the third house are life-long learners, often learning best on their own. They have a highly analytical mind and are avid readers.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

⚝Pluto in the 4th house⚝

The placement of Pluto in the 4th house indicates that your family or home environment may have been the site of intense power struggles or upheavals, leading to deep psychological transformation and rebirth. You may have a strong desire for privacy and control over your domestic affairs, which can sometimes cause you to feel isolated or emotionally distant from others. It is important to address any unresolved emotional issues from your past to create a stable and nurturing home environment for yourself and your loved ones. You may feel a sense of distance and difference between yourself and your family, and you may not always feel in perfect harmony with those around you. However, this uniqueness is also your strength and can drive your personal growth. You may feel that you hold a truth that eludes ordinary people and those in your circles, making you difficult to label or define.

Individuals who have Pluto in the fourth house often have a history of coming from troubled families, which may include domestic abuse or violence. This placement can be challenging to interpret in the natal chart, and it typically indicates that their childhood circumstances were less than ideal. Unfortunately, these patterns often repeat themselves in their adult home and family life, leading to power struggles, particularly with one of their parents/caregivers. These conflicts leave a deep wound in their soul, and the rage is frequently buried in their subconscious, subtly controlling their life. Moreover, many individuals with Pluto in the fourth house have some karmic heritage to work through before they can create a loving and supportive family environment. Ideally, the fourth house should serve as a place of safety and support for a child, but this is not always the case when Pluto is present. People who have Pluto in the fourth house frequently experience struggles early on and might come from unstable families. This placement often indicates that they perceived their fourth house parent as dictatorial, controlling, or even manipulative. Additionally, Pluto in the fourth house with hard aspects can indicate domestic violence or abuse. Therefore, the presence of difficult aspects here frequently indicates a troubled parent. The fourth house represents the mother, and this placement usually represents a domineering one. In extreme cases, the parent may be narcissistic, and their desire to control their child might persist even after they have moved out and grown up. Furthermore, individuals with Pluto in the fourth house rarely receive the emotional support that a child requires, forcing them to learn how to be emotionally self-sufficient at a young age. Power struggles and controlling behaviors are common in these relationships, and subtle manipulation is also possible, occasionally leaving an individual feeling emotionally unfulfilled. This positioning suggests emotional baggage, often buried in their memory, preventing them from being emotionally fulfilled, particularly in the area of home life. Therefore, it is necessary to get rid of this baggage to lead a happy family life.

To achieve true freedom, it is crucial to address any challenging relationships with family members. As Pluto in the 4th house individuals end up developing a tendency to become domineering and controlling during adulthood subsequent to their upbringing. This trait can manifest in a more direct manner for those with harmonious aspects. It is imperative to confront and overcome these issues to avoid causing harm to others. If left unaddressed, individuals with hard aspects may become bullies or even abusive, with this negative behavior being concealed from those outside of their inner circle due to Pluto's placement in the fourth house. Unfortunately, domestic violence can occur within their own homes. Even if they are not abusive, they may end up with a manipulative, controlling, or violent partner. The fourth house represents where power and authority are sought after in a birth chart, therefore for those with Pluto in the fourth house, power struggles may transpire within their homes. However, they possess the power to break the cycle of generational trauma and change their entire family's situation.

If Pluto is in your fourth house, it could mean that you struggle with your sense of self, often feeling disconnected from your family and ancestors. This placement may also indicate a family secret that sets you apart from them. Acceptance of oneself can be difficult for those with Pluto in this position, and seeking psychotherapy or a supportive relationship can help. Harmonious aspects can make this work easier. Additionally, this placement can manifest as an intense patriotism, radical ideals, or religiosity in later life that is followed by a lonely old age, where the native may isolate themselves or be abandoned by family members. Alternatively, natives can develop new forms of family function and support for themselves and others. Pluto in the 4th is also an indication of creating a powerful family/household.

⚝Pluto in the 5th house⚝

You might experience a strong urge to express yourself creatively and actively pursue intense experiences related to love, romance, and sexuality. This placement can also trigger obsessive and compulsive behaviors in these areas, which must be handled with caution to avoid adverse outcomes. Despite these challenges, Pluto in the 5th house can instill a sense of personal power and charm that could assist you in achieving your aspirations and desires. It's crucial to maintain a balance between self-awareness and self-control to navigate this placement successfully. Passion, love, and art might appear elusive and mysterious to you, leading you to be drawn to perilous or unattainable love affairs and harboring concealed emotions. Childhood memories may have a special significance for you, shaping your understanding of love and relationships.

Individuals with Pluto in the fifth house possess a strong personality. However, if Pluto is afflicted or there are challenging aspects between the Sun and Pluto in their natal chart, they may have a big ego. This placement signifies a passionate and creative nature but with a tendency towards melodrama and self-centeredness. Those natives find excitement in taking risks in their romantic lives and often possess a strong will and a daredevil spirit. However, a negative manifestation of this placement can result in a struggle for authority. People with this placement feel the need to receive recognition and become the center of attention. Failure to do so may lead to frustration and jealousy. As a result, they may become easily irritated if they do not receive the attention they desire. The negative side of Pluto can manifest as envy or jealousy, so if they feel ignored, they may act childishly.

They possess a strong inclination towards creative pursuits such as art, movies, music, and literature. This is due to the influence of Pluto in the fifth house which amplifies one's desire to express themselves. Individuals with this placement may have a preference for a darker artistic style, and find leisure in hobbies such as deep dives, gambling, and exploring risky arts forms. However, Pluto's obsessive nature may not be ideal for such activities and may lead to addiction and extreme losses.

Moreover, Pluto's qualities may be embodied by your father if certain aspects of the Sun and Pluto in the birth chart support this. Pluto's energy is directed towards the matters of the house in which it is located, which can be overwhelming and exhausting. It is essential to find a balance to overcome Pluto's dark traits. If successful, you can become a fascinating and charismatic individual, well-suited for creative endeavors, art, and making societal contributions despite feelings of inadequacy.

The fifth house defines your love life, indicating a passionate and intense nature described by Pluto. You give your all in love and expect the same from your partner. Individuals with Pluto in the fifth house often seek powerful and intense partners. This placement implies a lack of interest in superficial relationships. In romance, you tend to embody Pluto's qualities or choose partners who do. Negative aspects of Pluto, such as possessiveness, jealousy, obsession, and power struggles, may arise in your relationships. As a result, your relationships tend to be Scorpionic.

Pluto in the fifth house often transforms through romantic relationships, leading you to become a different person in the presence of your partner. This placement suggests an intense love life, with a strong focus on passion and sex. Pluto represents intense attachment, vulnerability, and intimacy, qualities you seek in a partner. Sexual kinks may pique your interest if Pluto is in this position. On the other hand, this placement can also imply betrayal by your lover and even traumatic experiences in extreme cases. Plutonic relationships may be part of your experience, with manipulative partners or yourself as the manipulator in the relationship.

The position of the planets and signs on the cusp of the fifth house can reveal information about your first child and your attitude toward them. If Pluto is located in the fifth house, it suggests that having a child will bring about a transformation in your life. Your beliefs may be challenged, and you may need to make changes. A child born under this placement may have a strong personality, especially if Pluto receives positive aspects. However, difficult aspects may indicate that your child could be challenging to manage, potentially leading to power struggles in your relationship. Overall, this placement indicates that you have a close relationship with your children and are protective of them. But be careful not to be too possessive or controlling, as this could lead to rebellion from your child.

⚝Pluto in the 6th house⚝

If Pluto is in your sixth house, you may have a strong attachment to your daily routines, which are essential to your well-being. If you're unable to follow your routines, you may become stressed and anxious, and sometimes even display aggressive behavior as a way to cope. Your adherence to rituals may seem morbid or obsessive-compulsive to others. You may experience a transformation and gain wisdom and power in areas governed by this house, but it may also lead to power struggles, deep fear, and even trauma. It can be a difficult area to navigate, with no easy way out. To make the most of this placement, it's essential to acknowledge the hardships and confront your inner demons.

You might have a tendency towards manipulation. Pluto is associated with vast distances and hidden worlds, while the 6th House deals with clearly defined social functions and areas of action. This creates a paradoxical and ambiguous social role for you. Your demeanor may be unsettling on a professional level, and your hidden function may be effective because it is insidious and concealed. The placement of Pluto in the 6th house is believed to bring intensity and transformation to your daily work routine and health habits. People with this placement may have a strong desire for power and control in their job and may be drawn to careers that involve working with the darker side of human nature, like psychology or forensics. However, they may also struggle with issues related to power and control in the workplace and may need to learn to channel their energy more positively and productively.

It's crucial to avoid conflicts with colleagues or being pushed around by superiors. Instead, strive to establish a healthy and secure work environment. You may find yourself drawn to Scorpionic jobs that involve other people's money, death, crime, sex, investigation, psychology, research, or healing. It's crucial for individuals with this placement to find work they are passionate about. However, Pluto in the sixth house can also bring challenges, such as rivalries with coworkers or difficult relationships with bosses. Harsh Pluto's aspects may indicate a dictatorial attitude towards others in the workplace or a controlling coworker. As an employer, you may come across as intimidating and threatening to your workers. This placement can lead to clashes and power struggles in your work life. You may be a perfectionist who dislikes wasteful practices and responds poorly to criticism. You can also be possessive and competitive about your work. Pluto in the sixth house indicates a need for freedom and space to work effectively. Some people with this placement change jobs frequently due to conflicts in the workplace, leading to hardships but also growth opportunities. A well-aspected Pluto in the sixth house can signify great power and effectiveness in your work, as well as a talent for cutting through the superficial and getting to the heart of the matter.

The sixth house also governs the area of health. When Pluto is placed in this house, it can often push individuals to work so hard that their health is the only thing that can force them to take a break. This can result in health issues caused by high job pressure. Pluto in the 6th house can indicate a tendency towards obsessive or compulsive behaviors, particularly related to diet and exercise, which can affect your physical well-being. It is important to maintain a balanced and healthy approach to health and avoid becoming too fixated on routines. Power struggles at work can be a challenge for some. However, one positive aspect of Pluto in this placement is its strong regenerative ability. While individuals may be able to function on little resources for a time, it's important to strive for a more balanced lifestyle by paying attention to diet and exercise.

This placement can also indicate mental health issues such as phobias or anxiety. When Pluto is affected by hard aspects, individuals may experience mysterious health problems, chronic illnesses, or eating disorders. In these cases, it's crucial to seek professional help to overcome health issues, as well as gain psychological insights and guidance to improve daily life.

By embracing transformative experiences, even mundane activities can become intensely engaging. Adopting a powerful daily practice, including daily cleanses and developing healthy habits, can help transform your life. However, it's important to avoid becoming deeply involved in work unions or criminal activities and to stay focused on the task at hand without becoming obsessed or overworked. By embracing a powerful and balanced daily routine, one can regenerate their health and vitality and become a positive influence among coworkers.

Finally, the sixth house also represents pets. With Pluto in the sixth house, some individuals with this placement may have unconventional pets, such as snakes or spiders, and other powerful exotic animals. Meanwhile, others may prefer to have a very well-trained pet for hunting and/or sports, such as dogs or horses.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

⚝Pluto in the 7th house⚝

If Pluto is in your 7th house, it may indicate intense and transformative experiences in your close personal relationships. This placement suggests a desire for power and control in partnerships, which can lead to problems with manipulation or possessiveness. However, it can also result in deep and meaningful connections, as well as opportunities for growth and healing through these relationships. It's important to be mindful of the potential for power struggles and to strive for balance and mutual respect in all partnerships. This placement may suggest that you are drawn to a Plutonic personality, someone who has Pluto in their first house or is a Scorpio rising. This can apply not only to romantic partners and spouses but also to business partners and close friends.

The seventh house plays a significant role in marriage and relationships. When Pluto is located in the seventh house, it suggests that committed relationships can bring about a transformational process for you. Your life changes drastically after marriage, and you learn important life lessons through your relationships. Overcoming challenges in these relationships helps you find your power. However, Pluto in this position can make your relationships intense and dynamic, with strong emotions and a need for passion.

Unfortunately, deep bonding can be blocked by fear, and power struggles may arise. You may crave intimacy but be scared of it at the same time. It is common to experience control issues in relationships with Pluto in the seventh house, which can lead to a lack of balance. To make the relationship work, you need to learn to stand up for yourself and be treated as an equal. You may be attracted to dictatorial partners or be dictatorial yourself. There's a desire and appeal for uneven power dynamics and control. The seventh house is associated with harmony and balance, and a natal Pluto in the seventh house can achieve this by undergoing transformation. It is important to be aware of the possibility of abuse or domestic violence if harsh aspects to Pluto are present.

The seventh house is related to business partnerships and public relations. If you have a natal Pluto in the seventh house, it is advisable to avoid fast-paced partnerships, especially if it receives hard aspects. However, a well-aspected Pluto in the seventh house can be useful in working with the public. This placement is beneficial for individuals working in marketing, politics, law, or psychology, as it provides insight into human nature. Nevertheless, it is essential to behave appropriately with this placement, as Pluto is an unpredictable and erratic planet. A harmonious aspect to Pluto can help you understand people intuitively and excel in many professions. However, it is crucial to remain clear-headed and skeptical about relationships, as Pluto in the seventh house can bring secrets to light and damage your reputation. It is best to view relationships as temporary and not get too attached to them. You understand the illusory nature of social codes and keep your distance from relationships, especially intimate ones.

If you have a natal Pluto in the seventh house, it may indicate a deep-seated fear of forming close bonds with others. While you may crave the intimacy and security of committed relationships, you may also be hesitant to fully invest in them due to issues with trust and betrayal. This fear may even attract untrustworthy partners, leading to a pattern of unhealthy relationships. You may have experienced trauma related to committed relationships in the past. To find balance in your relationships, it's important to establish a sense of power dynamics. With Pluto in this house, there may be a struggle for power between you and your partner. It's important to choose partners who have a well-integrated Pluto, as those who live in the lower octave of Pluto can exhibit negative traits such as possessiveness and jealousy. Your relationship may have darker themes if your Pluto is afflicted, but easy aspects can indicate a strong-willed partner. Remember that you have power within yourself, and by finding it, you can break free from being a victim. Your seventh house planets may reveal parts of yourself that you don't identify with, and Pluto here suggests that you may not feel your power or be able to handle it. This may lead to an unconscious relinquishing of power to your partners.

⚝Pluto in the 8th house⚝

Having Pluto in the eighth house is a noteworthy placement. Scorpio is the natural ruler of the eighth house, which is a familiar place for Pluto. However, having an eighth house placement doesn't necessarily mean an easy life. From a young age, you are conscious of the darker aspects of life. With Pluto here, power holds great importance in your life and is often obtained through crisis, pain, or trauma. If you embrace the positive aspects of this placement, you can become a source of support and guidance for others, showing them that there is always a way out of difficult situations. This is a highly influential placement that can lead to professions with such specialty and mystique. Think of someone that is a psychiatrist for other psychiatrists, a mortician for other morticians, or a private investigator with psychic abilities. You desire something that involves exploring the depths of the psyche and the journey of the soul's evolution. It can also lead to complete psychic and soul makeovers or even the ability to resurrect one's own or another's soul. This placement has the potential to be both a necromancer and a grim reaper, if you believe as such, but it can also awaken a renewed passion for life.

Individuals with their natal Pluto in the eighth house are known for their ability to overcome obstacles. Planets located in the eighth house tend to manifest themselves during times of crisis. This placement suggests that you possess a significant inner strength that you can rely on. The presence of Pluto in the eighth house can result in powerful transformations and intense experiences related to shared resources, intimacy, and psychological growth. It can also indicate a deep desire to explore the hidden aspects of oneself and others and to comprehend the mysteries of life and death. Additionally, it may suggest a potential for power struggles, manipulation, and obsession in relationships, as well as a tendency to attract intense and transformative experiences.

However, with awareness and conscious effort, this placement can also lead to profound healing, empowerment, and spiritual growth. It is important to approach this placement with respect, integrity, and a willingness to confront one's shadows and vulnerabilities. People with this placement are often drawn to taboo topics and the occult, such as life after death and magic. They may also have an interest in morbid things or horror movies, as they are fascinated by mysteries. However, this placement can create both a fascination with and fear of death.

Pluto in the eighth house also indicates that sexuality is an important aspect of your life, or that you have experienced painful and traumatic events related to it. If Pluto has easy aspects, individuals with this placement may have a high libido and be extremely passionate, even obsessive, about sex. With aspects from Mars or Saturn, they may be drawn to role-playing or have an obsession with violence. These individuals prefer to dominate in relationships as Pluto here is thrilled by power. Simultaneously, they may be afraid of being vulnerable and experiencing intimacy, as this placement can indicate trauma related to sexuality, betrayal, and trust issues. Rage may also be buried in the unconscious of individuals with this placement.

Individuals with Pluto in the eighth house possess a natural knack for psychology and can easily see through people's facades. Pluto has an all-seeing eye, making it impossible to keep secrets from those with this placement. However, despite their insight into others, these individuals tend to keep their secrets close to their chest and have likely learned from difficult experiences. They may struggle with intensity and obsessiveness, finding it challenging to let go and recognize when enough is enough. These tendencies can lead to complicated and tumultuous romantic relationships with emotional and psychological manipulation. Pluto in the eighth house can also indicate a willingness to use any means necessary to achieve their desires, especially when challenged or frustrated. Those with this placement may excel in finance-related careers, such as banking, financial advising, accounting, and investing. However, caution should be taken with Jupiter-Pluto aspects as this placement may also indicate involvement with criminal activity or the darker sides of Pluto's influence. Individuals with hard aspects to Pluto may encounter complications with inheritance or experience power struggles related to money within their family dynamic.

The eighth house is a crucial space in your life, though it may not be visited often. It is here where significant events occur, triggering a profound transformation process within you. If your natal Pluto resides in this house, you may experience more of these moments than the average person. This can make you a skilled sailor, as the saying goes, for a smooth sea never made one. You may find relationships unsatisfying unless they push you to the brink of psychological or emotional death. It's possible for you to feed off other people's trauma to recharge your batteries and demand peak experiences in intimate relationships. However, this can also make you a demanding or controlling partner, someone who wants to know all your secrets and personal information. Probe-like behavior can make others uncomfortable, and you may overestimate your psychological understanding while underestimating your psychological complexes. Remember that just because you have access to someone's secrets doesn't mean you understand them completely.

Individuals with this placement possess exceptional resilience, capable of enduring even the harshest of events. Pluto's influence here grants above-average regenerative abilities, allowing for survival in dangerous situations. However, one's interest in darker subjects may attract potential danger. A well-aspected Pluto, particularly in conjunction with Saturn, may indicate longevity. This placement may also bring about psychological challenges, requiring a purging of negative thoughts and attachments to break free from the karmic wheel. Though such transformations can be painful, they ultimately lead to great personal power. It is important to avoid becoming overly convinced of one's own opinions and adopting a dictatorial approach with a natal Pluto in the eighth house.

⚝Pluto in the 9th house⚝

Pluto in the ninth house indicates that you possess higher intelligence than most people. You have a natural curiosity about how the world operates, and you want to delve deeply into its workings. Your mind is deep and inquisitive due to this placement. This placement of Pluto suggests that you will undergo a profound transformation in your belief system and philosophical outlook. You may develop a keen interest in spiritual and metaphysical matters, as well as a desire to explore various cultures and ways of thinking. This sometimes results in a challenging and intense journey of self-discovery, but ultimately, it leads to a deeper understanding of yourself and the world. It is crucial to remain open-minded and receptive to new ideas and experiences if you have this placement, as it can lead to significant personal growth and transformation.

Individuals with Pluto in the ninth house have a keen ability to detect inconsistencies within the belief systems of those around them. This placement can transform travelers into spies and wise individuals into skeptical philosophers. You likely have little interest in rigid moral codes and commonly accepted explanations. Instead, you relish challenging traditional ideals and prefer to develop your concepts, even if they may not always be clear. Your analytical approach to exploration, travel, and discovery is often detached and critical, bordering on indifference. Superficial explanations are not enough for you, as Pluto urges you to delve deeper into the core of a matter. With this placement, you possess a powerful mind and frequently question beliefs instilled in you during childhood. Your belief system and perception of the world undergo deep transformation multiple times throughout your life. You possess a probing mind and can see beyond surface-level information, making you drawn to foreign religions and philosophies. There are often several soul-searching phases in your life that ultimately lead to profound transformation. While this placement primarily relates to mental transformation, some individuals may struggle with embracing change. Failure to recognize when you are wrong can hinder personal growth, but the ninth house's emphasis on expansion encourages growth. Being a mutable sign, Sagittarius, the natural sign of the ninth house, embraces change. Pluto, however, can be tyrannical and dictatorial, making it challenging to accept new ideas with hard aspects. You value honesty and directness in expressions and interactions with others but may struggle with feeling misunderstood. Those with Pluto in the ninth house may be captivated by foreign languages and cultures and often feel a sense of not belonging to their place of birth. A well-aspected Pluto in this placement can find power through contact with other cultures, while some may even spend a significant amount of time abroad.

With Pluto located in the ninth house of a person's natal chart, their personal philosophy holds great significance. This placement indicates a lifelong learner who is eager to educate themselves without necessarily relying on traditional institutions. As a result, subjects like religion and psychology may pique their interest, and they may possess a natural talent for research and investigation. However, a potential danger of this placement is the tendency to impose their beliefs onto others, which may lead to fanatical or bigoted behavior. It is crucial to avoid becoming dictatorial if they gain power in their communities. On the positive side, individuals with this placement may make inspiring teachers and have the courage to challenge outdated beliefs. Nonetheless, they may encounter difficulties with higher education, and some may drop out of college or experience study breaks. Furthermore, this placement can manifest as authority issues, but it can also support a career in education or research.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

⚝Pluto in the 10th house⚝

When Pluto is in your tenth house, you'll develop a reputation as a powerful and influential individual in the world. You may find yourself engaged in power struggles, particularly in your professional life and interactions with authority figures. This is because the tenth house is associated with career and public image. Your ambition and drive to succeed are noteworthy, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. However, you may feel like success is more difficult to attain than it is for others, particularly if your natal Pluto in the tenth house is harshly aspected.

Having Pluto in the 10th house can lead to significant transformations and power struggles in your career and public image. It may compel you to confront and overcome deep-seated fears or power dynamics in your workplace. While it can also inspire a strong desire for success and recognition, it is important to be aware of any negative aspects of your ambition. With Pluto in the 10th house, it may be necessary to let go of old habits and embrace a new path that aligns with your true purpose and values. Overall, this placement can be both challenging and empowering, providing opportunities for growth and personal development in your professional and public life.

Pluto is a challenging planet in astrology, often bringing about difficult and even traumatic experiences in the areas it affects. With Pluto in the 10th House, you are skilled at navigating crises and complicated environments. Your progress in professional and social settings is subtle and unique, as you excel at operating behind the scenes and detecting weaknesses and false values. You are driven by your self-interests and have a scheming mind, making you a formidable partner in any venture.

When considering career paths in your natal chart, there are many factors to take into account. However, with Pluto in the tenth house, it is one of the significant influencers. Possible career paths include psychology, investigation, research, surgery, politics, or other fields that involve hidden information. If there are other indicators in the chart, it may even indicate involvement with criminal activities. As you do your inner work and resolve your issues, you may find yourself drawn to a career in the medical field, as Pluto supports regeneration. This placement also lends itself well to careers that require extensive research or attention to detail, making you a great investigator.

While Pluto can bring about unforeseen ups and downs in your career path, it also gives you the ability to bounce back and even reach greater heights. However, success with this placement takes time and patience, as the tenth house is naturally associated with Capricorn and Saturn, the ruler of time in astrology. As you mature, you learn to accept that permanent success takes time and to trust in the process.

People with this placement are often ambitious and have a strong desire to achieve their goals. However, it is essential to develop a healthier and more respectful relationship with time and to avoid using force and power to get what you want. Through the struggle to recreate yourself, you will find your power and ultimately achieve success.

The placement of Pluto in the tenth house of your natal chart may indicate some conflict in your relationship with authority figures. If you feel that you have been treated unfairly, you are not afraid to stand up for yourself. This placement could also suggest that you may become an authoritative figure later in life.

The tenth house is also associated with the parental figures in your life. While traditionally, the father is associated with Saturn and the tenth house, any paternal figure, role model, mentor, or caregiver can be included. Pluto in the tenth house could indicate that the parent represented by this house was authoritarian, domineering, or even dictatorial (especially with hard aspects to Pluto). You may have felt intimidated or afraid of this parent, and they may have had a position of authority that was respected or even feared by others. If there are harmonious aspects to your Pluto in the tenth house, this parent may have had a strong personality, was determined, and had a strong will. They may have been an important influence in your life, teaching you strength and how to cope with challenges. Alternatively, if there are hard aspects to your Pluto in the tenth house, you may be at risk of becoming tyrannical, arrogant, selfish, or overly controlling with your power.

In addition to learning to cope with authority figures, this placement also suggests that you need to learn how to use your power in a healthy way. If you use your power for good, you may become a very powerful figure in your community. However, it is important to remember that with great power comes great responsibility. It is important to avoid becoming too domineering or controlling and to use your power constructively and positively. People may see you as mysterious and reserved, but also as someone who always has a trick up their sleeve.

⚝Pluto in the 11th house⚝

If Pluto is in your eleventh house, it's in the area of friends and organizations. This planet's mysterious and dark side can make it tough for you to fit in and compromise, but you can learn a lot from your interactions with groups of people. Pluto's placement in the 11th house can have a significant impact on your social life and relationships with friends and acquaintances. You may feel a strong urge to join groups or organizations dedicated to social change or transformation. Your desire for power and transformation can drive your relationships, and you may be drawn to those who can help you achieve your goals or further your agenda. However, it's important to avoid letting your desire for power and control take over your relationships with others. Keep a sense of balance and perspective in your social life and relationships, and be mindful of how your actions can affect others.

The eleventh house is closely associated with social groups, clubs, and organizations. However, it encompasses more than just your relationship with society. It also represents the universe's support for you and everything that comes into your life. Individuals with Pluto in the eleventh house may struggle to identify their goals clearly, even though they are ambitious and seek great achievements. Nonetheless, Pluto in the eleventh house suggests immense power to transform your dreams into reality. This planet is intense and influential, capable of magnifying things. When used effectively, it can be an excellent asset for fulfilling your hopes and dreams. People with this placement are future-oriented, often to the point of neglecting the present. Pluto in the eleventh house can lead to a preoccupation with ideas and difficulties in executing them in the present. Once conquered, however, this tendency can make you unstoppable. If Pluto is well-aspected in the eleventh house and in harmony with Jupiter, it can indicate potential wealth acquisition. The eleventh house is also associated with money, specifically money earned through your profession and cash flow in your life. Pluto can contribute to financial success with harmonious aspects, but hard aspects may suggest a willingness to do anything to achieve one's goals, even if it involves immoral means. It can also lead to difficulties in managing money.

Based on the placement of Pluto in your eleventh house, it appears that your interest lies in the study of people and their social behavior. You are fascinated by group dynamics and social phenomena, and you strive to comprehend how people function. This helps you understand yourself better as well. You are drawn to criminal groups, cartels, secret societies, large-scale covert operations, and other similar organizations. However, you are also aware of the negative impact these groups have on society. You have an intense desire to control your social relationships and are known to struggle with building and maintaining friendships. You can be highly intense and may have experienced betrayal or a traumatic event related to your friends in the past. As a result, you tend to be guarded and find it difficult to trust others. You prefer to be alone than in bad company and prioritize maintaining power and control in your social circles. If someone has hard aspects to Pluto in their natal chart, they may exhibit dictatorial or domineering behavior when in a group setting. This can create tension, and it's important to strive for balance. It's necessary to adjust your beliefs and attitude towards groups of people. Although you have a strong desire to belong, achieving this can be a long journey. With Pluto in the eleventh house, you crave acceptance but often feel lonely even when surrounded by others. It can be challenging to fit in and find your place. Despite feeling like a loner, it's important to learn how to connect with others and build a network. Unfortunately, some people with this placement may experience traumatic events, such as abuse or betrayal, that force them to reexamine their beliefs about people and society. Through these experiences, however, they can gain wisdom and learn how to heal themselves.

Having Pluto in the eleventh house can bring loyal and supportive friends who have strong personalities like you. You can discuss topics that others may find morbid, such as the occult or life after death. Friendships with Pluto in the 11th House are dynamic and evolve over time. Your conception of the world and ideals are not absolute but rather emphasize the futility of principles and ideas. Your most significant relationships always maintain a degree of mystery, and you distrust universally accepted truths. Your network helps you achieve your goals and learn about various aspects of life. You may find your power through understanding group dynamics, and can even take on an important role in an organization with this placement. Harmonious aspects of Pluto in the eleventh house suggest powerful and supportive friends who can help you turn your dreams into reality. However, with hard aspects to Pluto, it is important to be careful about who you associate with, as envious friends who do not have your best interests at heart may try to manipulate you or bring trouble upon you. Additionally, it is important to respect others' opinions and not think that you know everything best. Pluto in the eleventh house may also draw you to social causes or humanitarian work, and can even make you a powerful and revolutionary leader with well-aspected Pluto in this placement. However, some people with a natal Pluto in the eleventh house may also become members of secret groups or have secret friendships, and there may be indicators in the natal chart for social anxiety.

⚝Pluto in the 12th house⚝

If Pluto is located in the 12th house of your birth chart, it could indicate a strong connection to your subconscious mind. This placement suggests that you may have a desire to explore the deeper aspects of your psyche and inner world. You may also have a fascination with spirituality, mysticism, and the occult, as well as a yearning to understand the workings of the universe on a profound level. At times, you may feel like you are struggling with powerful forces that are beyond your control, which can lead to intense dreams or nightmares. However, with Pluto in the 12th house, you have the potential to harness these energies and use them for personal transformation and growth. It is important to note that this placement can also indicate a tendency towards self-destructive behaviors or escapism as a way of avoiding intense emotions and psychic energies. By confronting these challenges head-on and integrating them into your conscious awareness, you can unlock a powerful source of personal power and transformation. With Pluto in the 12th house, you may have a strong connection with mysticism, ordeals, and the afterlife, and possess exceptional sensitivity. When expressed negatively, this configuration may lead to an interest in macabre subjects and paradoxical sexuality, as well as a tendency to perceive ghostly enemies. However, when expressed positively, it encourages you to attribute a transcendental value to your actions, thoughts, and life.

Pluto in the twelfth house suggests that you are restricted from finding your power. Tapping into your power is not impossible, but it requires a lot of work and developing self-awareness. This placement often indicates anxiety and detachment from your deep desires. This placement suggests that you find it hard to identify with things represented by Pluto, such as power, sex, and violence. Planets in the twelfth house are not integrated into your personality. You possess all the power Pluto gives us, but it is locked up in the twelfth house, hidden from you. You are blocked from accessing it. In other cases, you unconsciously try to sweep this planet under the carpet. Pluto in the twelfth house can indicate that you were told not to be powerful as a child. Perhaps power was said to be immoral or bad, and you learned that it is unsafe and unethical to want it. The same is true for sexuality. People with this placement have a strong sexuality, but they often feel ashamed of it and they are aware of their desires only on an unconscious level. This placement can indicate problems with your sexuality. Pluto in the twelfth house is often a sign of unhealthy power dynamics in your childhood. Perhaps one of your parents was dictatorial and domineering, while the other parent could not express their power and took up the role of the martyr. This placement can indicate abuse in childhood. This can be emotional, physical abuse, or sexual. This experience can be suppressed in the subconscious, but it is often the root of self-destructive behavior.

If you have a natal Pluto in the twelfth house, you may have a fear of losing control. Control is very important to you, and although the planets in the twelfth house are repressed, they have not disappeared. You may unconsciously fear that Pluto will be set free. This placement suggests that you may experience power struggles in your mind. You may be hard on yourself and tend to beat yourself up. You may also use shadowy, manipulative tactics to gain power, such as playing the martyr or emotionally manipulating others. You may not even be aware of these mind games, but others may feel them. If there are hard aspects and other indicators in your chart, Pluto in the twelfth house can indicate crime or prostitution. People with this placement often struggle with low self-esteem and may feel helpless or lack self-confidence. A strong Sun in your natal chart or harmonious aspects from Mars can help counteract this. A well-aspected and well-placed Pluto can give you a lot of strength, but when it is located in the twelfth house, it is hidden from you. If Pluto is close to the ascendant, it may indicate a traumatic birth or near-death experience. Hard aspects of Pluto in the twelfth house can also indicate trouble with sleep or nightmares. Pluto in this placement may explain suffering through startling and dark dreams.

You may tend to be reserved due to your placement in the twelfth house. While this can be a natural inclination, it's important to be mindful of not suppressing your emotions. Finding ways to de-stress through physical activity can be a helpful outlet for any tension or pent-up emotions you may be experiencing.

It's worth noting that a strong emphasis on this house in your birth chart may make you particularly sensitive, both emotionally and physically. Additionally, if Pluto is also in the twelfth house, there is a potential for psychosomatic illnesses. This placement can also cause feelings of anxiety, not belonging, or unworthiness. In some cases, individuals may even use illness as a way to avoid coping with reality.

To address any potential challenges related to this placement, it's crucial to find balance and address any unconscious guilt that may be present. Pluto in the twelfth house can lead to self-punishment or attraction to toxic partners, so it's important to learn to let go and spend time alone. Meditation and spiritual practices can be helpful in this regard, as well as developing a talent for psychology and a natural insight into human nature. By focusing on these areas, you can help ensure that you can navigate any challenges that may arise in a healthy, productive way.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

Bye Cunts <3

4K notes · View notes

mockerycrow · 2 years ago

Text

Emergency Contact (1/2) (Ghost x GN!Reader)

>> emergency contact concept here << PART TWO HERE!!

Summary: Simon is your roommate, and you haven’t seen each other in months, considering Simon’s job. An unfamiliar number pops up on Simon’s phone, and answering it makes his world turn upside down.

A/N: How you two moved in together is very vaguely inspired this ghost fic right here. please give it a read! If you finish the song above, I highly recommend listening to the entire album while reading. i’m not the happiest with this, but i’m happy enough to post!

[WARNINGS: Blood and injury, traumatic events/trauma brought up, gore, little comfort, medical inaccuracies, tbh ooc simon but it’s ok.]

Eight months, thirteen days, and nine hours. That’s how long it’s been since he’s been home, since he’s seen you. That’s how long he’s been stuck on base, or thrown into a foreign country to complete some mission, or to gather some intel, or to kill someone, just somewhere, anywhere but with you.

Eight months, thirteen days, and nine hours. That’s how long it’s been since you softly asked him to stay as safe as he can, and to come back alive, and to come back with at least eight fingers. It was a running joke between you two, a way to relieve the terrifying reality of his job; as long as Simon came home alive and with majority of his fingers, he could consider it a job well done. You didn’t know much of his job, of course—only that he’s military, and he’s gone a lot. You already guessed it was a lot of classified stuff, probably down top secret government type of things. That did make you scared, though. You didn’t want the day to come, the day where people in fancy uniforms show up at your doorstep like you’re some widow. The thought of someone informing you of Simon’s death makes your stomach twist.

Eight months is admittedly a long time. Simon.. he missed you, but he’s rather die that verbally admit it, but he sure as hell felt it. He missed the way he could hear you walk through the house, the weight of the floorboards creaking up your feet. Simon missed walking by the bathroom and the air vaguely smelled your shampoo and body wash, a clear indicator you had just taken a shower. Simon missed the way you carelessly have your shoes next to the shoe rack, not even on it, and despite his annoyance of your laziness? He misses it every single time he’s away. He never really realizes the difference of living on base versus being home with you, and he’s comfortable in both environments for completely different reasons. Simon is comfortable with you because you’re safe, you aren’t associated with anyone he has to deal with on a near daily basis. You don’t scan the kitchen to see which household items could be potential bombs in the vicinity like he does. On base, Simon finds comfort in the familiarity of being constantly on alert, the need for a gun to be against his hip—it’s not the best, considering he’s in fight mode majority of the time, but it’s comforting. It’s familiar. It’s.. home, in a way.

You and Simon call at least once every three weeks—it’s not more because you’re both busy, you have your life to tend to while he has to do something like protecting an American Embassy, or sneaking into a compound to retrieve some vital information. You two talk about all kinds of things; you complain about the neighbors for the nth time, or you talk about your job, just something that he hasn’t heard about in a while. Simon.. he’s limited on what he can talk about—what he wants to talk about. It’s a bit difficult, keeping details of his job hidden away from you. He also keeps you hidden away from them; his team. Price vaguely is aware of your existence, but all he knows is your name and your phone number—someone to alert when he eventually would pass away.

It surprised Price when he requested access to his own file to make a change. Simon went for years without anyone in that section, leaving it blank—and then suddenly ‘[Name] [Last Name]’ is written down, along with your phone number. Simon doesn’t want to die somewhere and then you sit at home, dreading the fact that you haven’t received a call from him for over six months. Other than that, no one is aware of your existence and he wants to keep it that way. It keeps you safe, and he doesn’t want the one thing he has going in his life to be taken away from him—not like everything else has been.

No, you and Simon aren’t together. You just are the one constant he cannot allow to die. How you and Simon became close was rather funny, really—before you were roommates, you bumped into each other at the local stores, the bank, even several public spaces like parks and such. You didn’t see him too often and you weren’t aware on why, but you didn’t really wonder why either. By this point, you knew each other for a couple of months. He introduced himself as SR—not Ghost or Simon, but as SR. You didn’t bother to question it because this tall, bulky man seemed like he was trying keep himself as anonymous as possible. Without fail, you always saw him wear dark colored clothing that hid any identifiable markings—tattoos and scars, that kind of thing. He usually has his hood up with a black face mask covering his nose down, but you do know one thing—he has to have bright blonde hair. Why else would his beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows be that bright? It would catch your eye every time you’d see them. Sometimes you would see him with a beanie on and the mask, with his hood down. This wasn’t too often, as it exposed some scarring he has on the back of his neck, as well as his forehead. This also silently lead you to believe he has a tough past of some sort, which is confirmed when you run into him somewhere you never expected to—your therapist’s building. You bumped into him right outside, and you apologized profusely before looking and going silent as you made eye contact.

A silent agreement was made between you two that day, one that you could never put into words. Something in that moment that dragged you two closer together. You had been through some shit in your life, shit that had permanent effect on you, shit that you wanted to work through. It was horribly tiring, but you knew you needed to work through it—so you could live a life you felt was worth living. Simon, was on the other side of the spectrum. He didn’t want this. He never wanted to tell anyone about anything, but Price, Price fucking made him. Simon spends his days and nights plagued with nightmares and memories—he’s woken up in the middle of the night enough times to know that he needs help, but he was so adamant about not talking to anyone about it. But seeing you there? Someone who he hasn’t known for long, someone who had always greeted him with a smile on your face, laughter spilling from your beautiful vocal cords, and someone who doesn’t touch him without permission? It made him so angry and hopeless about this world. Not even you, a stranger who he sees as the best human being he’s known in a while—despite not knowing you for long—could escape from the cruel and sharp jaws of the world. You found out you two accidentally scheduled the same days, so it became an unspoken agreement to wait for the other outside of the building so you can both go in. Even when you weren’t sure when his next appointment would be, you’d be right outside of that building, waiting for him. You would always be right there, and that’s something he quickly learned.

You lost your house to a fire, everything went with the burning embers that raged inside of the 4 walls of your previous home, the structure collapsing in on itself. You had gotten out in time, and you numbly watched the fire roar, the crackling burning it’s memory in your ears. The piercing sound of different sirens were approaching, but all you could do is stand there with your phone in your hand, watching the home you worked so hard for burn to the foundation built years ago. You felt a hand on your shoulder, but you didn’t bother to turn to see who it was. Everything was going so slow, almost like a movie scene in the worst way possible. Your nostrils burned from the smell of burning wood, drywall, and installation. The hand squeezed your shoulder and you slowly looked at who it was—and was him. Simon. His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes ever so slightly panicked and it was obvious he was asking you something, but you didn’t hear him. All you could focus on was that he was here. You blinked rapidly as your eyes began to burn from the smoke and from that choked feeling going from your chest to your throat. “I..” You croak ever so slightly. You couldn’t hold it back—you quickly grabbed onto Simon desperately, letting out a heart-wrenching sob because you just lost everything you owned, every memory, every piece of furniture, everything.. but he was here. He was the only thing was wasn’t crumbling away from your grasp, the only constant. Once you clung to him, Simon’s senses were flooded with you. Fuck, your touch burned, just like everyone’s else’s but he liked—no, loved how it felt. Despite the image of a burning house in his wake making dread bubble in his gut, your sobs and touch were the only thing he could focus on. Simon hesitates for only a second before pulling you into his personal space, his arms wrapping around you and weighing heavily on your body. Neither of you spoke, he just let you scream into his chest and sob, your fists gently banging against his chest—the anger, the sadness, everything was too much. Simon knew exactly how you were feeling, so he didn’t mind the twinges of pain your hands produced. Simon was the one who helped you while you chatted with the paramedics and the police. He was the one who helped you find your words when you had none left to share, the smell of the smoke imprinted on your clothes.

Without question, Simon took you to his house. He did not have another bed set up, so he had you sleep in his room while he slept on his couch. He hated the hollow look your eyes held, the way you were delayed with your answers, the ways your hands shook. Your everlasting smile had dissipated into a wobbly frown and he.. Simon couldn’t handle it. He grabbed you some of his clothes and helped you into his bathroom, quietly telling you to take a shower. He’ll take care of your clothes. Simon left you alone, and you showered for a long time. He didn’t count, but it was over an hour and a half. Simon didn’t say anything about you possibly racking up his bill, how could he when you had just lost everything? He wanted to.. to help you, and he wasn’t sure why. Even when he found himself scrubbing your smoke and tar covered clothes in his kitchen sink, he couldn’t find an exact reason why he wanted to help you. Maybe it’s because you made him feel human when he needed to be, maybe you were the one thing that kept him coming back to this town, the one thing that kept him from completely pulling away from the civilian world. You had found him in a corner like a dog, lips curled back and snarling—sharp teeth clashing together, and without a word, you gave him reasons to trust you. Although they may not be.. normal reasons to the regular eye, but they were enough for Simon.

You’re enough for Simon. He scrubbed your clothes until his arms burned, and then some.

That’s when he found out that you too, were also someone who could not stay asleep for long. When Simon awoke with his adrenaline pumping from the muffled sound of vomiting, he had to calm himself down because he’s safe, and you’re safe, most of all. Simon isn’t sure when he began to think that way, but it’s one of the many things he’s decided to not question—which also new for him. Simon is man who demands answers, yet with you? it’s like everything naturally falls into place, which is why he doesn’t complain when your stay at his house—which you swore would only be until you gathered enough money for an apartment—turned from a two week stay, to Simon carrying in an IKEA bed frame to put and assemble in one of his empty rooms. Many sleepless nights came and went, and each and every one you spent them with each other, sitting by a windowsill together, other times spending it in the backyard and looking at the sky. Sometimes you would wake up first, sometimes it would be him. You somehow always knew when he had woken up from a nightmare, his heart pounding in his ears—until your hands grab his and squeeze, to ground him. You burn him, and he welcomes the tickle of your ever-glowing flame. A year into this arrangement, Simon finally shows you his face and he appreciates that you don’t look at him any different. He usually hates the searching eyes, trying to memorize every inch of his face—but he’s greedy when you do it. When your eyes roam over every scar and acne scar, when you point out his messily cut hair and half-assed shaven stubble, he doesnt get angry. Simon doesn’t feel suffocated by your glances. He doesn’t wear his mask at home anymore, not when you’re there.

Then Simon gets the notice about his three month leave ending soon; and he knows that you need to know about his job. Or at least, the bare minimum you need to know. In reality, it’s how much he wants you to know, but he doesn’t want to admit that. He sits you down one morning, a cup of tea in his hand and he had a mug of your favorite morning drink on the other side of the table he had bought a few weeks you started staying here. Simon explains that he has a job in the military, that he can’t tell you much, but it means he’s going to be gone for weeks, even months at a time. You’re at a loss at first, because who is going to have an extremely positive reaction to “by the way, I work an extremely dangerous job and I can’t tell you anything and I’ll be gone for a while.. Oh yeah, you likely won’t know if I die!”? Despite your initial reaction, you grow to be okay with this situation. Or, we’ll, as okay as you can be with it. You also find out that he was here for way longer than he originally is, due to his boss demanding him to take a break—AKA, “go to therapy you dafty”.

For a little over two years, you two fell into a good rhythm. A call every three weeks, him coming home and you becoming the safest space he’s ever had in his life.

Which is why when his personal cell phone begins to vibrate in his pocket during some fuck-all meeting, his eyebrows furrow. The number is unfamiliar, but the area code is not. Simon quietly excuses himself from the extended round table, taking his call outside of the meeting room. Price’s eyes follow his figure as he exits, noticing it’s his personal cell phone in his hand. Simon answers the call and presses his phone against his masked ear, muttering a low, “Hello?”

A high-pitched, soft yet serious voice filters through the speaker, a woman. “Hi, is this Mr. Riley?”

Simon pauses, and so does his heart. “Who’s asking?”

He honestly regrets asking that in the moment—one part of him genuinely wishes he never answered this call, and the other part of him is glad he did. “I’m a nurse from Northern Manchester Community Hospital, you’re written down as [Name]’s emergency contact. They’ve been a victim of a hit and run situation, sir. They’re alive, but they’re in the ICU.” The nausea that suddenly bubbles inside of his guys, the stomach acid mixed with whatever he had eaten previously, threatening to travel up his esophagus, burn every inch and then exit with a horrific sound. Simon’s head began to spin—he’s your emergency contact? A hit and run, you were fucking hit?? By what, a car? A pick-up? A semi? God, Simon has seen the most horrible, gruesome, fucked up shit you would ever see in his entire life, yet he isn’t sure if he can handle the image of you spread out in a hospital bed, with one too many tubes circulating around you. His mind plagues him with intrusive images, ones he never wants to actually see played out. Fuck, his head hurts. It feels like someone is physically shoving a knife into his chest and twisting it, like God is laughing at him and playing with Simon’s pain for his own gain. How could he not think that, especially with everything that has happened to him? His friends, his family? His old CO? The fucking abuse he endured??

It’s like Simon lost his hearing for a moment, because he cannot bare fucking losing you, too. There’s a vague ringing in his ears, almost like there was an explosion and he stood too close. And then suddenly every sound comes rushing back to his eardrums, and everything suddenly everything is so fucking overwhelming. “Mr. Riley?” The nurse calls over the phone, her tone laced with worry. He clears his throat and when he speaks, he sounds wrecked, which he fucking hates. “I.. I’ll come as soon as I can.” Simon hangs up, not giving the nurse a moment to speak. He drops his phone and if he doesn’t sit down, he’s going to fall over like a tree that’s been cut down. Simon lets out a shaky breath, trying to ignore the way his stomach is screaming and twisting as he puts a hand on the wall, and he crouches down. It’s the first time he doesn’t look around to see if anyone is watching his sudden display of emotion. When he’s suddenly rocked with the feeling of home at work, especially with the news that you’re fucking injured—he’s overwhelmed and twisted all over the place. Simon finds himself stumbling back to his barracks.

Price finds his way to him after Simon never returns to the meeting. He knocks on the door, but his knuckles pause before they can knock against the door for the third time as he discovers the door is open—which is very, very, odd. He slowly opens the door while calling for Ghost, and is met with the sight of Simon shoving some of his clothes and belongings into a duffle bag, as well as his military travel documents. “Ghost?” Price questions, who stopped in his doorway to watch Simon lose his mind while packing. Simon doesn’t respond as he practically rips his phone charger out of the wall and stuffs it into the bag, zipping it up. He slings it over his shoulder and he turns around, pausing when he sees Price. Simon’s eyes tell everything he’s feeling—that something’s happened, something bad, and he needs to leave. Price bites his lip and quietly exhales, his fingers rubbing at his chin. “I’ll approve your leave. Just shoot me a text of how long it needs to be, yeah?”

Simon makes sure to note to send Price a thank you of some sort, because within the next two hours, Simon is boarding a plane, heading for Manchester, wearing some black clothing, a jacket, a black face mask, gloves, and his beanie. The entire time, he could not stop thinking about you—and how you could possibly die before he got there to send off his final goodbyes. Is that something he would actually want to do, though? See you in the hospital, knowing it’ll be the last place you’d ever be alive in? Go home, see how you left the house exactly as you left it? A house, but without his home in it? Simon stares out the airplane window blankly, his hands curled into fists, and his nails would be digging into his palms if he didn’t have gloves on.

He couldn’t lose you. Not like this.

The next part for Simon, it’s a blur again. Got off the plane, got his luggage, provided documentation, blah blah blah—he didn’t give a fuck about any of it. His focus was you. He didn’t bother to stop home to drop his stuff off, he took an Uber straight to the hospital from the airport. It was a fairly expensive Uber too, but he could worry about the costs of everything later. It took another half hour to get there.

His heart began to hammer in his chest as the sight of the hospital’s signs began to pop up on the road, the anxiety taking hold in his stomach and his head begins to hurt again. Simon quietly thanks the driver, tips them, and exits the car with a swiftness once they pull up. Simon walks through the main entrance’s sliding doors, going up to the desk. A woman behind the counter hangs up the phone, murmuring a goodbye, and then she looks at Simon with her pretty blue eyes. “How can I help you, sir?” She murmurs sweetly, noting how anxious he is. She can see the sweat on his brow line. Simon clears his throat, his voice rumbling in his chest when he speaks. It takes everything in him to not yell at this innocent woman and get thrown out. “My.. My name is Mr. Riley, I was called ‘cause my friend is here,” Simon manages to push out. “[Name] [Last Name].” The woman turns to her computer and clicks the couple of buttons and types a couple of words and holy fuck, Simon just wants to go to your wing already—“Ah, yes, I see you’re listed as their emergency contact,” The woman grabs a sticky note and writes with a pink pen your room number and elevator floor, handing it to Simon. He barely gets a “thank you” out before he nearly jogs to the nearby elevator. Fourth floor, room 283. Fourth floor, room 283. Fourth floor, room 283—it’s the longest minute long elevator ride in his entire fucking life.

Simon changes face masks whilst facing the wall, and then he finds your room number—and his heart is beating out of his chest. There’s cops standing outside of your room who stop him from entering. Simon’s anger flares up so quickly, he nearly makes a scene until a doctor exits your room. She’s wearing her usual blue scrubs, her coat, and she’s dawning a N95 and some sterile gloves. She’s holding a clipboard. “Mr. Riley?” She questions, holding the clipboard close to her chest. Simon nods without hesitation, and she responds, “I’m sorry, but due to the nature of this case, you’ll have to provide some identification for me and these officers.”

Usually, Simon would hesitate—he gives anyone outside of his team the bare minimum, hell, he only introduced himself as SR until he knew you for a while. This time, he takes out his military ID and shows it to the officers. He ignores their looks of surprise, and ignores the murmurs that come from them. Simon puts his ID away and he holds back the urge to shove them out of the way as he glares down at the doctor on accident. “Come in,” The doctor opens the sliding door and steps into the hospital ICU room with him. Simon follows behind her and he immediately smells the sickening smell only the ICU gives off. There’s a small wall blocking his view from you that he hasn’t past, and he can already hear the machines working. A heart monitor, a ventilator, combined with other machines he doesn’t know too well. The doctor flips through the papers pinned to her clipboard. “They were hit by a vehicle of some sort, the scene suggested they were walking home from the local corner store. [Name] has multiple broken bones and fractures, a punctured lung, a fractured jaw and internal bleeding. They lost a lot of blood at the scene.” Simon doesn’t respond as he slowly walks forward, and he finally lays his eyes on you. It’s.. traumatizing, to say the least. You were never supposed to be in a hospital bed like this, hooked up to machines he can’t even name. He slowly walks over to you, dropping his duffel bag somewhere on the floor. He doesn’t care to look where. Simon barely pays attention to what the doctor is saying—his hands tremble as he stands by your side, his heart thumping harshly in his chest. Fuck.

He drags over one of the chairs next to your bed. Simon takes off one of his gloves slowly, and then he tears the other one off in a frenzy. He feels so unlike himself, so.. different.. human. He reaches over to your hand and his fingers grab your wrist, so gentle as if you’re glass. Simon presses his fingers against your pulse point, counting your heartbeats despite the monitor. The thumping under your skin makes it more.. real. Feeling you, your heartbeat, your warmth and your skin—it’s comforting. Simon clears his throat and fights the urge to vomit once a gain, watching your chest rise and fall, produced by the ventilator.

He moves his hand to intertwine with your fingers and he uses his other hand to feel your pulse. Simon closes his eyes, muttering the beats per minute under his breath.

At least you’re alive—you’re here, you’re alive, and you’re with him. And that’s all he asks for.

tags;; @alwaystired--neversleeping @handsomeunderwear-art @indefenseofkara @kaysav608 @1-is-loneliest-number @rosee-sensuelle @kitty-satan1 @k4marina @rahmown @royalty-purple @bowtruckleninja — if you are not tagged, it’s not allowing me :-)

4K notes · View notes

afniel · 2 months ago

Text

So today I woke up and promptly remembered that hey, didn't I have jury duty at some point this month...? I went downstairs and checked the summons postcard and sure enough, I did.

Last week!

Now, this isn't me confessing a criminal misdemeanor, because I was excused, actually. Luck was on my side (and so was the Wayback Machine, which is how I had to check). No failure to appear, no foul.

The thing I'm actually proud of is that I didn't freak out about it. See, when you've got a lifetime of internalized ADHD shame, the typical reaction to realizing that You Forgot Something, Again, goes like this:

Panic so much. You're going to be In Trouble. Nothing can possibly be worse than being In Trouble. This is a category 5 emergency.

Self-flagellate as hard as humanly possible. What kind of useless sack of unreliable shit, accidentally mislabeled as a human being, could have fucked this up so badly? This is just like everything else in your life. Nothing you do is ever right no matter how hard you try. What's even the point? You're an eternal fuckup. Might as well just accept it.

Existential crisis spiral until you can't even remember what the real problem is. The problem is just you. The problem has always been you. Why are you like this?

Eat an entire thing of Oreos, or whatever your self-destructive self-soothing behavior of choice is. Do you feel better? Not really. You stopped hyperventilating at least, so it'll have to be close enough.

Actually deal with the real problem, if it's even a problem. It probably wasn't. Now you just feel stupid for getting so worked up about it.

Completely fail to realize that you punishing the hell out of yourself in steps 2-4 is just reinforcing your panic response and making you less capable of coping in the future, because you've had it beaten into your head that forgetting things, a normal and reasonable human error, is Simply Not Acceptable, even if it's ultimately pretty harmless. But hey, if you kick your own ass about it harder than anybody else would or even could, then you've personally made sure you have control over the severity of the punishment, right?

Right?

Does that sound like a trauma response? Well, it should, because it is. Many people with ADHD have this same trauma response, because having a brain that doesn't work like everyone else's in a world that is not just not built to accommodate that, but in fact is built to convince you that this is a personal, moral, and unforgivable failure is actually pretty traumatic.

That's verbatim how I've lived most of my life. Don't ask me how the hell I got this far carrying on like that, because I don't even know. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger gives you a goddamn complex. But I've been working on it over the past I don't even know how many years, and today, my response was more like this:

Oh shit jury duty was a week ago. Well, now I just feel silly.

Uhh...let's figure out the worst possible outcome. Jail time? Seems highly unlikely for a first time misdemeanor. Possibly a fine, but probably a warning.

Let's look up what actually happens to people in my county who miss their jury duty. They get sent a second summons. That's very reasonable and not at all a real problem if it happens.

Let's find out if I was even summoned to appear. If not, it isn't even a problem. Mention it to my partner at this point. They say 'yeah, I forgot I had jury duty once. I looked up whether or not I was summoned on the Wayback Machine. You told me to not worry about it either way because people honestly forget all the time, and it's a fixable problem whatever happens.'

Realize they are right (and that I forgot this happened until they mentioned it because it was such a non-issue), and I should take the advice I give and treat myself like somebody I care about. I reassure myself that it's not a big deal and people do it all the time and nobody's doing to be personally affronted, and a sincere apology goes a very long way even with a cranky judge if it comes to that. I check the Wayback Machine.

I was excused anyway, so no big deal in the end. I now have a funny story to tell, and I'll probably remember better in the future as a result. Realize that even if it had gone worse, it still would have ended up a funny story later. Yeah, even if they inexplicably threw me in jail for a night. That sure would never get old retelling.

Have a shower and get on with my day.

Gold star for me, I completely didn't even realize that I was de-catastrophizing so well until after the fact. Like I've got it down to a reflex now. I am legitimately just a much calmer person than I used to be. Feels pretty alright! I could get used to this not kicking the absolute mental health out of myself every time something goes slightly wrong. Highly recommend being nice to yourself actually, 10/10 experience.

Anyway that's me tooting my own horn. I feel very emotionally stable and pretty good about that fact. It's been a fucking journey.

#adhd #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd things #adhd trauma #adult adhd

177 notes · View notes

questionablecuttlefish · 1 month ago

Note

One of the most popular topics that people likes to bring up in shipwars “against” lightcannon is that we mischaracterize (did I write it correctly?) Lux to fit in our delusions. For example: she didn't kill Sylas and she despises killers and her ideals and morality is the most important thing to her, oh, also that she's good

So you as a Lightcannon writer and someone who is very familiar with her lore and character, could you give me your perspective about this?

Ah yes, that one.

Here's my answer in pictures:

But more seriously. 😆

I think that's a gross oversimplification of Lux's character, and it's generally an argument made by people who don't know who Lux is beyond the most superficial impression.

It's a product of a mindset that can't separate modern ideals of 'morality' - what would be moral to you and me, from our culture and our moment - from a character raised in a very, very different culture and a very different world.

A good example is the opening scenes of A Game of Thrones, we witness the horrible slaughter of a group of Night's Watch by the Others. The lone, desperate survivor escapes, and in the very next scene, we see that he's been captured by the Lord of a castle, who is about to execute him for the crime of desertion by beheading with a sword. This man makes his sons watch as he decapitates this poor, innocent bastard who, to us, has done no wrong and just survived a terrifying experience. He makes sure his seven year old, Bran, witnesses him cut a man's head off with a sword.

Meet Eddard Stark, probably the most forthright, honorable, and morally upstanding character in the series.

Look, Lux is a 'good' character. She's smart, compassionate, forthright, and principled. She almost always takes the diplomatic option first and uses violence primarily in self-defense.

On the other hand, she's a Crownguard. She is the daughter of the highest ranking noble household next to the King himself. Her Aunt is the High Marshall of the entire Demacian military. Her Uncle is(was,heh) the head of the Mageseekers, so the mage hunting secret police. Her brother is the Might of Demacia, Sword Captain of the Dauntless Vanguard.

What I'm saying here is that Lux is a military brat. She has been born and raised into the values of a highly militaristic, feudal warrior culture at the very highest level of that society. She's been trained in warrior arts - riding, swordfighting, archery, and military tactics and strategy - since she could walk and form words.

In her old lore? She was literally a traumatized, brainwashed child soldier taken from her family and trained to fight for Demacia.

In her new/current lore? She's still a trained spy who has succeeded at several covert missions within Noxus.

We've seen her fight monsters and Mageseekers in the M.S game, she didn't hesitate to shoot Sylas with a crossbow and stab him with a dagger until his mages dragged her off him in the comic, as above.

She also witnessed her brother behead a man in the For Demacia story; she was trying to intervene because she had sussed that there was something else going on, and therefore his death would have been unnecessary and unjust, not necessarily out of protest at the death penalty itself.

It's worth noting - as the Mageseeker confirms - that Lux stayed out of the mage rebellion not out of 'naive pacifism' as she's sometimes accused of, but because: 1. She couldn't forgive Sylas for his betrayal.

2. A desire to protect the noncombatant refugees in her care.

3. She's still loyal to Demacia and her family and refused to fight her own kin.

4. because she knew if she stayed neutral, she could leverage her Crownguard privilege and name with King Jarvan to negotiate protection for mages after the conflict.

Which, y'know, she did.

All of these are products of who she is a character, a Demacian, a Crownguard, and a canny political operator. None of these are blind pacifism, this is the kind of soft power "Fox" move Mel Medarda would recognize and approve of.

So no, Luxanna Crownguard isn't going to be put off by Jinx's violence.

Violence is inherently part of her world, too. Demacia is a 'medieval' feudal regime that is almost perpetually at war with its neighbours and, in some ways a harsher, more brutal place than Piltover and Zaun, particularly its notions of 'justice'.

Piltover is only about 50% likely to have public executions as entertainment/morality lesson, Demacia absolutely 100% does and we've seen two of them in canon, is what I'm saying.

I think Lux would understand that Jinx committed terrible deeds, yes, as part of a civil conflict that Lux herself would be coming at with only an outsider's understanding.

Lux knows exactly how it feels to have best intentions blow up in your face, to be backed into a corner and forced to take some pretty extreme actions to survive.

I don't think, after her actions and choices triggered the Mage Uprising and cost untold lives across Demacia, Lux would consider her own hands clean enough to judge someone like Jinx. Sure, Lux didn't mean to give Sylas her power to commit second hand mass murder, but Powder didn't mean to kill her family either.

And it's also worth noting the part of Sylas' actions that Lux doesn't forgive - especially in the Mageseeker dialogue - is specifically the personal betrayal of her trust, outing her as a mage, and ruining her life.

She understands his cause. She won't join it, because that would mean siding with someone who wants to kill her family, but again, Lux's reasons for choosing not to fight are much more complex and personal than 'she hates violence'.

She's able to compromise enough to accept Sylas' help when her city comes under siege, because while Lux is a 'good guy', she's also a pragmatist first.

I think Lux would see a lot of Sylas in Jinx. I think she would see a lot of herself, as well, particularly once she learned about Jinx's past, about Silco (basically Jinx's Sylas figure, no?) and about everything she's been through.

I don't think Lux would judge her for that.

I feel that Lux would try to be the voice of reason, the hand holding hers to ground her, maybe even the olive branch to help her try to repair some of her burned bridges (this is certainly what she tries to do in Ill-Omen's) and that could cause interesting conflict in their developing relationship.

But I think Lux would understand. Jinx may be more volatile and spiteful and personal in her use of violence, but she's shaped by experiences not far from Lux's own.

And by Season Two? Yeah, no, Season Two Jinx is well and truly on her hero arc. Post-Season Two Jinx? Especially if she's trying to put violence aside and heal?

Post season two Jinx, who's grieving losing her father, her sister, her child? That Jinx would absolutely attract Lux's compassion even more than before.

I've written so many words to answer it, but to me, it's such a non-argument to begin with. You have to not even look at Lux past "blonde nice girl" to think it.

#lightcannon #jinx #lux #luxanna #luxanna crownguard #lux crownguard #lux lol #lore #arcane

156 notes · View notes

vagabond-umlaut · 4 months ago

Text

what is the point of lukewarm love?

If I am not drowning in it, I have no desire for it.

Ⅰ. my beloved ghost and me

pairing: knight geto suguru x disgraced noble fem!reader tags: historical au; arranged marriage; slow burn; misunderstanding; arguments; kinda enemies to lovers; angst; drama; fluff; smut; hurt/comfort; eventual happy ending; MDNI; warning: ANGST, implied attempted sa (not to the mc), homicide, corruption; physical assault; abandonment issues; 1.7k wc notes: when i say this fic is the bane of my existence, i mean it in every sense of the term :) the chapter title is from here. the fic title and summary are from this post. the header is from pinterest. jjk isn't mine! please comment on the fic masterpost, or send me an ask, to be added to the taglist!! :))

Your husband is a callous man.

Disgustingly so.

But, of course, if you ever say the same to anyone else, they'll be certain to return you a scowl—not that they don't give you one now, but they'll make it much worse then—for how can you speak such ill of your husband: the oh-so-gallant, oh-so-chivalrous knight Sir Geto Suguru!?

Well, the thing is... first off, none of those outraged voices know the man as well as you do.

Secondly, and more importantly, none of them are you.

Born as the eldest daughter of one of the most prominent nobles in the Empire, you had always been told there was a golden future lying in wait for you. Elegant, graceful, refined—you grew up to be the epitome of each of these adjectives and so many more meaning the same. Something your parents and teachers adored you for, your peers resented you for, the general populace looked up to you for.

Long story short, your life was nothing less than wonderful.

But, as is the way with this world, good things seldom last long—yours too didn't.

The wandering hand of a noble.

The terrified screams of your maid.

The said noble's head rolling on the floor.

The pristine white of your gloves drenched in bright red, the same shade dripping from the sharp blade of a sword; that too, one which had always been an idle wall decoration...

Were the noble any lesser person, you know nothing would have happened. You did a right thing, after all, saving a poor helpless girl from the maws of a vile beast.

But no, he wasn't a lesser person.

He was the Emperor's little brother. Lecherous, yes, of course, no one could negate this; but he was His Majesty's youngest brother, eighth in line to the throne, which is why you weren't even taken to trial. The blood on your hands hadn't even dried before every title you owned were snatched away from you, and you were reduced from being one of the most highly regarded young ladies amongst the nobles to being a convicted criminal—

'Attempted theft of a royal jewel.'

'Harrassment of a member of the royal staff when they attempted to stop her.'

'Murder of a member of the Royal Family when they attempted to detain her.'

The story was changed, and with it thus twisted and distorted until not one letter of it was true, you were indeed nothing more than a convicted criminal—

A burden your parents waited not even a day before they decided to get rid of, before they decided to bedeck it in finery of the highest kind and send it to the slaughterhouse under the pretence of your hand being promised to Zenin Naoya.

You ran away.

Of course, you ran away.

Only to be spotted by one of your family's old servants, not even ten miles away...

What happened next is preserved very poorly in your memory—you remember reading in a book once, how one's mind tries to erase things too traumatic for them—but you do recollect the sheer panic and the utter desperation you felt as you were all but dragged back to the manor, you would swallow your tongue before calling it your home again. Oh, and, of course, the clinking of the thousand gold coins as your father awarded them to the man for his loyalty whilst your cheeks stung from the force of your mother's fury.

The Zenin heir cancelled the engagement within the next hour, claiming he had no desire to marry a disobedient wretch like you. When you scoffed and told your mother that neither did you have a wish to wed a cur like him, she slapped you again, drawing blood this time.

Your parents were prepared to disown you.

And you knew. And no matter how much it hurt, you were prepared to be disowned by them, prepared to leave and set out on a new path on your own—which is when your dearest husband entered the stage of your life, and without further ado, set it on fire—

Sir Geto Suguru, the paragon of virtue, so very darling to the Empire.

The envoy of death, so very terrifying to the enemies of the Empire.

The catalyst of your doom, so very dashing as he stood before your parents, the coal black of his hair and his eyes scintillant in the sun as he greeted them with a bow and a courteous smile—its keen shape perhaps not too unbecoming the sharpness of his mien, you thought absently, still blissfully ignorant to what lay in your future, as you stood behind your mother—

It took Geto all but a moment to stand upright and ask your father for your hand in marriage.

It took your blood less than a moment to freeze in your arteries.

Were it before, you know your parents would've rejected such a proposal in a heartbeat; your world and the knight's were far too different, too far apart. But that day, utterly devastated, utterly helpless, you watched them both nearly sob in relief as your mother nodded and your father brought your intended into a hearty embrace.

The wedding took place a day later in an extremely private function.

Not even a month after which, Geto received his transfer orders to some remote town by the sea.

And giving you a set of barely-intelligible, insultingly-perfunctory reasons, more like 'excuses', as to why you couldn't accompany him; you're his wife, for goodness' sake; he dropped you off at your in-laws' in the countryside—people who hadn't even deigned to attend their only son's wedding—

You don't dislike them, though.

You dislike your husband.

The man who, by marrying you, has made himself an angel donning a mortal skin, a person too good for the likes of anyone and everyone; most certainly, much too good for you.

The man who, by leaving you barely thirty days into your conjugal life, has made you even viler in the eyes of others than you can ever imagine it to be possible, believe it should be possible.

The man who has visited his home, his wife, only a handful of times in the last one year, that too only for a handful of hours each time, never staying for more than one day and the next morning.

The man who doesn't care enough to reply to your letters, let alone send you any, only sending his father enough money to feed a village and a curt letter saying he's well on the third day of every month, the words devoid of even the smallest mention of the person he married and brought to his home—

If one says you hate Geto, you will simply nod in response and not breathe one word in disagreement, you think as you wrap the blanket tighter round your shivering form and stare at the waning crescent in the pitch-black sky.

It's lonely.

The moon is rather lonely, you reckon, a faint frown creeping onto your lips...

But definitely not as acutely, as painfully as you are—

After all, the moon hasn't been forsaken by its friends, parents and husband, has it?

The moon isn't forced to endure pitiful glances and scathing glares throughout the day, is it?

The moon need not spend night after night, either sleepless or seeing nightmares where it is abandoned in an entirely new way, tossed aside in an incomparably worse way by others—does it?

No.

You suppose not.

A pathetic little sigh escapes you as you force yourself to relax beneath the warm weight of the blanket, gaze soon drifting from the sky outside the window to your hands, to the pretty little diamond sitting on your left hand—only to stiffen when you hear a pair of feet pad into the kitchen—

"Do you have a fever?" A familiar voice rings out, so sleepy yet so worried, so kind—that too for you out of all the people the concern could be for—you can't help but become a touch misty-eyed.

It's your mother-in-law.

Sometimes, you think she's the only person you won't mind calling family.

The only person who, you don't think you're wrong when thinking, won't mind you calling them family.

Trying to hide a sniffle, you shake your head, lips shifting into a small smile on their own when you can finally discern her in the almost darkness, "Um, no. I'm totally fine, thank you."

"Alright," she doesn't press you any more, choosing to pour herself a glass of water instead. You look away from her, focus shuffling away to rest on the orange lights of the distant houses and huts against the blue backdrop of the night, when a quiet call of your name reaches you.

You turn back, only to find your mother-in-law wearing a knowing smile. She suddenly looks a lot older than you know she actually is—you wonder how your mother is faring—

Is she happy now that her shame of a daughter is away and no longer besmirching the spotless reputation of the family? Or, does she miss her first child, her 'sunshine', living so many miles away from her?

You know better than to ponder over such questions; yeah, you know you do.

"Yes, Mother?" you ask; the aftertaste of the last word not as sour as it used to be in the early days of your marriage, you register absently all the while wondering why her smile appears to grow when you call her thus, "Is—"

"I've raised Suguru to be brave and true-hearted," she says, and you cannot help the way your form grows rigid at the mere mention of his name—nor the burn settling behind your eyes nor how your throat clogs up, words dying far before they're fully formed when the remainder of the sentence clicks into place in your brain—"He will return to you, darling. I'm sure of it."

Hours from now, you will wonder why your mother-in-law is telling you all this.

You will wonder why she thinks your sleepless nights are because of her son, especially when you haven't breathed even a syllable of your distress to anyone; least of all, to her.

You will wonder why she sounds so sure while she's reassuring you of your husband's return.

Hours from now, you will tear your brain apart and put the pieces back together, in search for answers to these and so many more questions.

But now, in this moment, you don't think.

You screw your eyes shut and bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, trying your damnedest not to cry—until you decide you're much too wounded, too too weary to put up a good front—

And you cry, and you cry, and you cry.

general masterlist

#geto suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #geto x you #geto x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #kit posts 📝

210 notes · View notes

tetsunabouquet · 16 days ago

Text

Why Isha is the Most Misunderstood Character from Arcane S2: My Headcanons

A/N: After doing Sevika, I really just wanted to write this in defense of my little sweetheart, because the hate train against her is just dumb and occasionally downright ableist in how some people talk about her being mute. As a HF autistic woman, that shit just disgusts me so here I go!

-First of all, let's adress the hate towards Isha for 'magically fixing' Jinx. It's far less magical then you think. Ever heard of inner child work? Jinx might not have been working the classic techniques, as Isha acted as a proxy for Powder instead. That scene of Jinx just drifting off mentally as she does Isha's hair, talking about how she didn't do that with Vi? It very much gives off the vibe that Jinx would have liked to do the occasional girly things wih Vi as a child and that her inner Powder finally feels heard in that moment. They had been together for months at that point, so I doubt that was the sole moment Isha allowed Jinx to work through her problems by Isha being a proxy for her past self. -Secondly, let me adress the common criticism that she has no goal or whatsoever and is just there to idolize Jinx. You should all take some media literacy classes. She's very clearly set up as a mirror to a young Powder AND Vi, so why can't you see the obvious parallels?! Jinx has become like Vander, a symbol for the undercity and their fight against oppression but she doesn't wants to fight anymore. Isha isn't pushing Jinx into a hero role because she's a fangirl. But because she HAS a goal. Like Powder and Vi, she genuinely wants Zaun to be liberated and is trying to encourage Jinx to get back in the game just like Vi tried to do with Vander! Whilst the circumstances leading up to that were different, Isha even gets imprisoned for trying to make a stand for the undercity just like Vi did. I don't want to be hateful like you guys but seriously, do you Isha haters really need dialogue THAT badly to point out the obvious? -Isha's lack of voice also refers to her lack of family. Whilst she could be mute because of disability, there is also the possibility of her never having learnt how to properly speak as an orphan, as well as the possibility she became mute through trauma. As a mirror, it's highly likely Isha's parents were also brutally murdered. With 2 of the 3 explanations pointing into the direction of her being mute due to being an orphan, it's statistically likelier for this to be the actual reason. -Which adds an additional layer of tragedy to her character. Because going mute through trauma as well as being mute due to being a 'feral' child, can be dealt with! People tend to get over traumatic mutism and whilst feral children missed some important milestones, Isha could still be taught to speak basic sentences with the right help. This seems to be highlighted with how Isha learns to stand up for herself and be more assertive. She's crawling out of her shell and just when you could catch a glimmer of who she could become, she dies. With Sevika now being in charge as part of the Council, the aid Isha would need to regain her speech are now available to the children of Zaun. It's heartbreaking to think about the future Isha could have had if she had just survived the attack on Viktor's camp. -With how desperate Isha was to have a family- just look at how quickly she attached to Jinx and jumped at the chance to also be with Vander and Vi, it's clear the girl was dreaming of a home. Which brings me to her intentions to her sacrificing herself. If she was that desperate and traumatized, then it very likely could be that Isha rather wants to die then lose her family all over again. The fact her song ends with according to translations, 'for this is good enough for me', seems to imply that these months of having a family was what she dreamt of for so long and she can go in peace thanks to Jinx showing her love in the cruel world of the undercity.

#arcane #isha #isha arcane #arcane s2 #arcane season 2 #arcane isha #isha and jinx #jinx and isha #vi #arcane vi #vander #arcane vander

109 notes · View notes

luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 months ago

Text

The Change: Beau

Summary: Beau's having a normal Saturday night when he catches a strange scent in the wind...

The Change

Pairing: Alpha!Beau Arlen x omega!reader

Word Count: 8,000ish

Warnings: language, angst, minor violence/injuries, fluff, implied smut

A/N: Y'all wanted more of The Change and I thought what better way to fill in some of the gaps than by taking a peak through Beau's perspective! While not 100% necessary to read The Change to understand this story, it's highly recommended!

_________

Saturday Night

“Dad, are you okay?” I turned my head towards Em, forcing a smile. She raised an eyebrow from her chair nearby the fire pit, a blanket over her lap. “You look worried.”

“It’s fine.” Shit. I bit my tongue but she was giving me that look again. That “we need to communicate openly, remember what the counselor said, dad?” look. I slumped down in my chair, trying to ignore the strong whiff of omega floating through the breeze.

I could smell Em by my side. All sugar cookies, lavender, fresh linen, with that oh so subtle hint of fresh rain that was baked into the Arlen pack. Scenting had it’s limits though. It only worked maybe twenty feet or so away.

So why the hell did I smell an Omega with rain in her scent but nothing else? We had some land to ourselves, a good ten acres, on the edge of the neighborhood. There was no feasible way I could be smelling an omega all the way up here.

“Dad!” Emily barked. I shot upright, looking around for any sign of danger. “What’s wrong with you? You smell…weird.”

“Weird?” I lifted my jacket collar and sniffed, something certainly off about it. She shrugged.

“You smell, like you did when you found me at the mine,” she said quietly. “You know, way on red alert. What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure…” I said, standing slowly. I was prepared to make up an excuse but Emily was watching with those big doe brown eyes and it made my heart clench. Communication. Right. “I uh, smell an omega which is weird when it’s only the two of us out here.”

Em smirked, a frown crawling onto my face. “Well there is one reason Alphas can smell an omega that’s far away when they aren’t in the pack. You know…soulmates.”

I blinked at her, cocking my head. “That’s not…your mom was-”

“Daddy.” I froze still, eyes locked on hers. “I mean this in the nicest way but you and mom are not soulmates. Your bond broke way before you got divorced and soulmates never get divorced. You care about each other but it’s not that soulmate love.”

“I thought you wanted me and your mother back together for the longest time,” I said quietly, slowly sitting. Emily slumped down, fisting her blanket.

“Me too. But you’re happier here than I think I ever saw you with mom. What’d you tell me? Don’t settle for convenient and easy?” I smiled, reaching over to mess up her hair, earning a groan that made my heart happy.

“Sometimes I forget my sassy child is full of wisdom,” I said.

“Going to traumatic murder camp and getting kidnapped will do that to you,” she said with a cheeky grin. I rolled my eyes, chuckling as I ruffled it one more time. She’d been pretty shook up after everything last year and Carla didn’t love Em’s dark humor but the counselor said it was a healthy way for her to cope and shit, I wasn’t about to stop her.

These days, it was hard to tell anything even happened to her besides the occasional nightmare.

“I’m going to run out real quick and pick up some ice cream. Flavors?” I asked. She rolled her eyes. “What?”

“Go find this little omega of yours. I can handle being alone,” she said. I stared at her, Em rolling her eyes. “Fine. You can have a sheriff come over.”

“Thank you,” I said, kissing her temple. “Put the fire out for me please when you’re done. I’ll be back soon.”

“Have fun finding your soulmate!” she teased, not noticing the way my heart jumped up to my throat at her words.

Twenty minutes later I was walking around town, following the growing scent of rain when something else mixed in. Something sharp, painful.

Danger. Omega in danger. Your Omega is in danger.

I took off in a sprint down the sidewalk, following the scent and turning the corner to a dark parking lot next to a pharmacy.

“Get off!” someone muffled a shout under a large hand, that someone being my goddamn omega, my soulmate, my everything.

I drew my weapon and fired a shot in the air without thinking, nearly pulling the trigger on the two scumbags pinning her down.

Calm down. She needs you more than you want to hurt them.

I reluctantly took a breath, listening to the inner voice in my head. “On your bellies. Hands on your head or the next one goes through your spine.”

The two assholes rolled off of her and I quickly glanced at the omega. Her cheek was scuffed up and she looked sacred but damn, she knocked the breath out of me.

Hairs prickled the back of my neck as I inhaled her scent.

Fuuuuuuck. She smelled like fresh rain, she had that Arlen pack scent. My vision swam for the briefest of moments as my heart thudded happily at finding it’s soulmate. Alright, I could be a pile of mush later. I needed backup and these guys restrained before I not so accidentally started shooting off pieces for touching her.

“Mam’, are you alright?” I asked. She nodded quickly and thankfully it looked like they hadn’t done more than knock her to the ground before I was able to step in. I pulled out my phone, shoving it between my shoulder and ear. “Dispatch, this is Arlen. I need two squad cars at the Rite-Aid pharmacy off of Main. Two suspects in custody. Attempted assault. Vic appears okay besides some minor injuries.”

“We’ll have two cars over in under two, Sheriff.”

“Thanks, Abby,” I said, staying on the line but shoving the phone in my pocket just in case. I secured one man with my cuffs but I needed something else unless I wanted to sit on top of this guy. Meanwhile, the omega was scrambling across the pavement, trying to pick up the items she’d bought into the plastic bag in her hand. She reached for a small pack of zip ties, slightly odd to pick up in the middle of the night but I’d hold off on my judgment.

“Mind if I borrow that?” She let me take the package and remove a tie, securing the second man, albeit he could get out if he really tried. “Thank you mam.”

She was clearly petrified and putting on a brave face. She shoved a bottle of pills in her bag as I asked her once again if she was alright.

“Never better!” She said in an abnormally high pitched voice. She popped to her feet before I could help her up, a slow sigh escaping me. “Uh, thanks.”

Be a calming presence for her.

But then she was trying to leave down the dark parking lot again and I grabbed her arm on instinct. Didn’t she realize the safest place for her was by my side? “Whoa, whoa. These guys can’t do anything to you. Backup will be here in two minutes tops. I know you want to get home but we need a statement and you should get that scuff cleaned up by a paramedic. Hell, I can do it for you back at the station.”

She just kept staring at me and alarm bells were going off in my head. Did she have a concussion? Did she hit the back of her head? Okay, she needed to be seen by a doctor right now. “Alright. I think you hit your head a little harder than we both realized when they knocked you down. Why don’t you take a seat-”

I was not expecting my dream girl to proceed to knee me in the dick so hard my life flashed before my eyes. I heard a sorry squeak out as she took off and I lay on the ground, trying to get my bearings.

“Nice one, sheriff,” snided one of the men in custody. I grunted, kicking him in shoulder as I sat up. “Fucker, you can’t do that!”

“If it were up to me, I’d beat the shit out of you, drop you off a cliff and let the animals eat you alive.” I rolled to my knees and got up as a squad car showed up, an officer running out.

“You alright, boss?” I waved him off.

“Read these two their rights. I’m going after the victim,” I said, jogging past him and down the street, catching tail lights in the distance. I made it to my truck and was on the road just as she turned left about a mile away. I cursed as I lost sight but then I rolled down my window, taking a deep breath.

Her scent was subtle but I followed it down a dirt road and up a barely there path through the trees to a rundown looking cabin. There was a light on inside and I jogged up to the door when her scent was stronger. “Miss? It’s Sheriff Beau Arlen. We met just a short time ago. I’m doing a wellness check. Please answer the door.”

The omega ripped open the door, the fear from before replaced with etches of worry.

“Hi. My dad fell earlier today. I think he broke his leg. He’s in the bathroom.” Oh, this poor thing. I nodded, giving her a smile.

“Okay. We can call an ambulance and-”

“He’s terrified of public places. Of catching the…sickness.” Sickness? What the hell was she talking about? “I know he needs a hospital but is there any way we can limit the number of people he’s around? Like a doctors office or something?”

I breathed deeply, picking up on her father’s bland scent indicating he was Beta. But in her own home this Omega should have smelled like something more than fresh rain. Anything at all.

Shit, she smelled like Emily had before she fully presented. Like a blank canvas. But how the hell had this woman in her early thirties that was presented as omega not smell like one?

“How the hell…” I shook my head. She simply hadn’t had a proper heat before which in theory was possible if she hadn’t been around an Alpha during her cycle before. Strange but not completely unheard of. A groan in the background had me straightening myself. “Alright. I’ll see what I can do to accommodate his…needs.”

She thanked me and attempted to have me leave but I was already texting dispatch, telling them I was about to have a first time adult heat. God, I remember when Carla had hers. She was bent over in pain one second yelling at me for existing and trying to jump my bones the next telling me how much she needed me. Even though I was struggling through a damn rut in exhaustive pain.

That should have been my first clue that her needs would always outweigh mine.

I sighed when our argument turned heated, the poor little omega in front of me overwhelmed with fear and hormones and likely a good dose of paranoia. She collapsed as I caught her in my arms, gently laying her down to the ground.

“What the hell did you do to my daughter!” shouted her father from a room off to the side. “You infected her you-”

“Hey!” I barked, placing a pillow under her head and brushing the hair from her face. I stood and stormed over to him, wincing at the nasty piece of meat that was his leg. “You are going to tell me exactly what has been going on around here with her, with you, all of it.”

“You got her sick!” I squatted down, narrowing my eyes. He returned it, breathing hard. “You nasty smelling mutt. You bite her and I’ll kill you.”

“So you do know a thing or two about this situation,” I said with a smile. “Now. Tell me everything or this nasty mutt with a gun and a badge will start thinking you’re keeping your daughter locked away and doing some very nasty things.”

“I would never, you perverted-” I snarled, the Beta biting his tongue.

“Do not disrespect me. I am here to help her and her alone. Now she’s going into heat, uneducated and scared. Her body is going to be in pain and she doesn’t understand why all because you have lied to her for a decade. I would never be so cruel to my daughter.” He swallowed, his gaze going to behind me where she lay on the floor. “She will be fine but you need to tell me everything. Now.”

Five Hours Later

“Good evening, Dr. Y/L/N. This is sheriff Beau Arlen of the Helena police department. I apologize for the late call but we have a situation here with your father and sister,” I said from the corner of the hospital room where Y/N laid fast asleep. She’d awoken confused and more than a little…primal a few hours ago. I could only imagine what it felt like to go through your first heat with your soulmate sitting eight feet away.

She smelled delectable, enough so I had to ask for some scent blockers for myself so I’d stop getting so damn horny around her.

“Please call me Emmet. Are they okay? I haven’t heard from my sister in a decade so any news-”

“She’s alright Emmet. She’s currently at our local hospital being treated for her first heat. Your father broke his leg badly a few days ago and is in the ICU recovering from surgery.” Emmet swore on other line and breathed deeply.

“My father is paranoid, Sheriff. I called him on the night of the Change years ago and told him to take my kid sister out of the city for a few days until we knew what was going on. I called him five days after and told him it was okay to go back but they never did. I’ve explained to him over and over again that she is perfectly safe. I could never track him down.”

“They appear to be staying at an old cabin on the edge of town here,” I said, Emmet groaning.

“They went to grandpa’s hunting cabin? Jesus christ. I forgot that place existed. Is Y/N alright?”

“She’s fine, Emmet. She’s a strong woman, her body just needs to catch up a little is all.” Emmet huffed.

“She was supposed to work at a big accounting firm. She got a really good job out of college and then she disappeared with him. The paranoid fucker’s probably kept her locked up there for years.” My heart skipped a beat. “Sorry. He wouldn’t hurt her. Dad’s just…always been overprotective of her. Always. Something happened when she was young and…yeah, he’s always been afraid of her getting hurt again.”

“Emmet, any information you can relay to me might help me understand your father better. I need to know if your sister has been at that cabin all these years of her own free will or not.”

Emmet was quiet for a beat, a chair creaking as if he were sitting down in the background. “Our father was a lawyer. A prosecutor. He put away a killer…for a very dangerous and powerful family. I was in college at the time. They broke in one night and killed our mother and kidnapped Y/N. She was maybe four? I don’t think she even remembers. It took a few days to get her back and that was only because she bit one of them and ran away and out a window.” I smirked, closing my eyes.

“Always been tough as nails even when she’s afraid, huh.”

“Yeah. Dad was different with her after that. Always blamed himself. Way too protective. She tried to appease him but she always wanted to live her own life too. The idea of her being claimed by someone-”

“He literally can’t handle it,” I finished. Emmet hummed. “Thank you for the information Emmet. I’ll speak with your sister more but I doubt we’ll press charges.”

“Mr. Arlen, I’ll be down in a few days. I need to speak to my sister, and father. I’m in Seattle these days and I think it’s best if she stays with me for the time being.” I cleared my throat, walking out of the room and to the hallway. “My father will need intensive rehab if it’s as bad as you say and then in-home care, both of which will be much easier to provide if I’m there-”

“Emmet, there’s not an easy way to say this so I’ll just spit it out. I got involved tonight because I was able to scent your sister from my backyard over eight miles away from where we met. Now, you’re a doctor. You tell me the only scenario in which that is possible.” Emmet was quiet, my heart hammering. “Dr. Y/L/N-”

“Are you a good man?” he asked. I sat down on a hall bench, glancing down.

“I’m divorced, I got ten years on her and a teenage daughter. I am by no means perfect. If she wants to go to Seattle, I will not stop her.” I crossed my arms, leaning back against the wall. “But I can promise you, she will be safe with me and free to live her life. I do not intend to hold her back.”

“I seriously doubt my sister’s going to want to leave your side once her heat calms down and she realizes who you are to her,” he said with a hum. “Sheriff.”

“Yes?”

“I’ll take my dad off your hands once he’s ready for in-home care. Let Y/N live in a town without him for a while.”

“What’s she like?” I asked, screwing professionalism for the moment. “You said she wanted to be an accountant?”

“Pft, god no. She would have worked at a bakery if she had her choice but you know how parents can be,” said Emmet. “You said your name was Beau, right?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Well Beau, considering this is likely the first of many conversations we’ll have throughout our lives, a word of advice. If she wants to work at a goddamn bakery, let her. If you guys ever need help, just tell me. I got more than enough. I just want my baby sister to be alright.” I smiled, relaxing my shoulders.

“I appreciate it Emmet but I do alright on my own. Like I said, I will not be the one holding her back from whatever it is she wants to do.” I could feel her scent pick up, twitchy, wanting me nearby. “I got to run but I appreciate the talk and I’m looking forward to meeting you. I’ll make sure she gets a chance to talk to you tomorrow.”

I hung up and slipped back in the room, pulling my chair closer, her scent calming. My phone dinged and I frowned. What the hell was Emily doing up at 2 in the morning?

How’s the soulmate search going? Pop says hi by the way. We ordered pizza. There’s leftovers in the fridge if you ever come home tonight. Please tell me you’re not stalking some woman in the middle of the night.

“This child,” I grumbled, typing a long message before my phone pinged again, eyebrows raised.

I can talk to her. I know more about being an Omega than you do to be fair. She’s probably scared. I can dig up those Change puberty books from the basement.

Thank you, Em. We’ll talk in the morning. Now get some sleep..

I frowned, shooting off another text.

Tell Pop if he eats all my mint fudge ice cream again I’m firing him.

Too late. Night dad!

I sighed, resting my phone on my chest and sliding down in the chair. I kicked off my boots and propped my feet up at the end of Y/N’s bed.

“So. Not how I imagined my first night with my soulmate,” I said quietly. “How about you, darlin’? Everything you dreamed of?”

She snored lightly in bed, rolling over on her side and staying in a deep slumber.

“Well don’t chat my ear off, I’m trying to sleep,” I chuckled. She scratched her belly absently, breathing deeply. “Goodnight, omega.”

The Next Day

Despite an albeit awkward start to the day, the smile on Y/N’s face as she and Emily shared the far side of the booth and devoured a brownie sundae was putting a big on on mine. Y/N hadn’t had much of anything besides basic foods for ten years and she was ordering every greasy, fatty, sugary thing on the menu.

It was kind of adorable the way she guzzled down a pile of poutine on her own and then asked for seconds.

“Is Y/N coming home with us?” asked Emily a little eagerly. I lightly kicked her shin under the table, Em pouting. “That’s child abuse.”

“Child abuse is you hitting me in the nuts with a baseball bat when you were four. Pretty sure you were trying to make sure you were an only child from the start.”

“I wouldn’t mind a sibling-“ I kicked her again, Emily glaring back. Y/N looked between us with a goofy smirk, gravy at the corner of her mouth.

“You guys are really cute. I wish I’d had that with my dad,” she said, her face falling momentarily. She cleared her throat though and wiped off her lips, glancing at me. “Your dad and I have to talk about a lot of things but in the meantime he said he had an idea about where I could stay. You guys have a trailer on your property?”

“Dad used to live in an air streamer when he moved here,” said Emily, smirking at me. “If you need a love nest-“

“Do not tell her about nesting,” I growled, Emily grinning like a Cheshire cat. Y/N blinked at both of us, her head tilting. I cleared my throat when I sensed her…fuck, she was horny as fuck.

Cool it with the Alpha voice bucko.

“Nesting is um, well…” I trailed off, Emily pipping right in.

“It’s when the Alpha goes all crazy and makes you a comfy bed with pillows and blankets and stuff so you can pass a heat surrounded by their scent. And to fuck in a lot but the scent stuff too.” I dropped my head to the table, a low whine escaping. “They teach us in health class.”

“In my health class all they did was show us pictures of STI’s,” said Y/N, her fingers grazing my scalp. I raised my head, heart skipping at the feel of her touch in my hair. Her face was so soft, so unlike the fearful one of last night. “Relax. I’m not going anywhere and Emily’s bluntness is appreciated.”

Emily glanced at Y/N and then myself, making an excuse to use the restroom. Y/N’s hand dropped to the table, a pout forming on my face. She giggled though, the sound calming me. “Can you…smell me, Y/N?”

“Sure,” she said coyly, laughing when I rolled my eyes. “I think so. I don’t quite understand it but I know you’re nervous. You like when Emily teases you but there’s something a little on edge with you. I’m still trying to figure all this out to be honest.”

“It’s okay,” I said, reaching a hand up and gently taking hers in mine. My thumb stroked over the back of her skin and I held it up, closer to her. “You won’t be able to do that with most people. Only your mate can you tell certain things. We don’t exactly understand that part of it yet.”

“I imagine it gets a bit complicated when you mix advanced evolution with metaphysical souls,” she said, tilting her head, turning my hand over and stroking my palm. Her big eyes stared at my skin, nose twitching when she inhaled. “Everything in my head says I’m a moron for trusting a strange man, that you could hurt me or worse. But then I do this…”

She tugged me closer, pulling my hand to her warm cheek, her skin velvety soft. Her bond pulsed hard under the skin of her neck, so subtle no one would notice but I could see it thumping away like it had it’s own heartbeat. Y/N’s eyes searched my face, looking for an answer to a question she didn’t know how to ask.

“There are some people that don’t believe in true mates. They think it’s just hopeless romantics making shit up,” I said, pulling my hand down, grazing her bond with my fingertips. Soft lips parted, Y/N’s eyes dewy at the touch. “Touch my neck.”

She tentatively reached across the table, letting me guide her hand to the left side. “My gland is much smaller but it’s there. Now push down on it.”

Y/N didn’t look convinced but gently nudged two fingers against the skin. I jerked back just as she did, a bolt of peacefulness shooting through my body. She rubbed her own gland, breathing hard. “What the fuck was that?”

“Think of it like there’s a rope connecting our souls. We just tugged on it,” I grinned, rubbing my chest. “So we can’t get lost from each other ever again. True mates form that bond even without the physical connection being met yet which is why you could tell I was nervous.”

Y/N smiled, placing a hand over her bond. “So that’s why you don’t feel so strange. Huh.”

“We can take this as slow as we want to,” I said, taking out my phone, checking the time. Y/N shoveled one last scoop of ice cream in her mouth before sliding out of the booth. “Where-“

“Emily has school in the morning. We should head out,” she said, catching Emily returning from the bathrooms. “We’ll meet you out front?”

“Y/N.” I hopped up quickly. Shit, was I making her nervous? I opened my mouth to speak but she was right there, placing a finger to my lips.

“It’s okay, sheriff,” she murmured, grazing her knuckles over my beard. “Just need a little girl talk.”

“About what?” I asked quietly.

“About…just trust me?” I held up my hands, Y/N backing away before popping outside with Em.

“Sheriff,” said a deep, monotone voice. I spun around, Donno standing there with a styrofoam box. “Rhubarb pie.”

“I didn’t order-“ Donno shoved it forward, my hands barely catching it.

“She wants it.” I raised my eyebrow, glancing outside to where Y/N and Emily were leaning against the truck. “She wanted pie and this is all we have.”

“Uh, thanks Donno,” I said. He half growled and I handed him my credit card. He grumpily took it behind the counter, handing it back with a grimace. “How’s things with Tonya?”

He grunted and I chuckled.

“Later, Donno. You and your girl stay out of trouble.” I ducked outside with the pie, the girls giving me a smile. “Everything all set?”

“Never better.”

“Hey, Em?” I asked after showing Y/N the airstreamer when we got home. She was downstairs talking to her brother, all sorts of giddy scents coming off her. “Got a sec?”

She put her phone down, frowning when I pushed it away and set it on the charger. “First off, it’s bedtime. Second, is everything okay with you and Y/N? I know everything’s been moving fast and if you want to talk about anything, I’m here.”

“We’re fine,” she said softly, giving me that look I’d seen in therapy too many times. I pouted, Em sighing. “She was…her body did something at the diner. She said you guys touched bonds which made her…you know…down there…”

“Oh.” I sat on the edge of her bed, holding my hands on my lap. “Was she embarrassed? I shouldn’t have-“

“No, she just wanted to make sure it was normal to…get all…slick and fuck, this is as bad as the sex talk.”

“I thought we did a good job with it,” I said, ruffling her hair. “Are you okay with her being here?”

“Duh,” she said, sitting upright and giving me a hug. “She’s your soulmate, dad. Of course, I want her to stay with us.”

I tucked her head under my chin, giving her a deep squeeze. “Dad. Too tight.”

“Alright,” I said, releasing her. “I’ll make sure Y/N understands you already have a mom and-”

“We kind of talked about that when you were paying.” Em shrugged. “Y/N said she didn’t want to overstep anything and said it’s probably best right now if we’re more like friends? Until we figure out what we want.”

“I’m going to have a hard time keeping up with you two staying ahead of me,” I chuckled, hearing a loud crash downstairs. I stood up, Em pouting. “Stay. Go to bed.”

She grumbled as I left and jogged down the steps. Y/N was bent over in the kitchen, her scent stressed but not in pain.

“Y/N?” I asked. She popped her head up, swallowing thickly as I saw she’d dropped her bottle of heat medication and the pills had gone all of the floor. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

I knelt down and started to help pick them up, Y/N moving farther away to pick up the scattered pills. I reached out and caught her wrist, Y/N’s breath hitching. She looked over her shoulder, body tense.

“It was an accident,” I said softly. She looked down and I frowned. “Hey. I can smell you’re upset but we still need to talk. What’s going through that head? Did your brother say something?”

“No.” She shoved the pills in the bottle, waiting for me to deposit mine inside. The cap snapped on and she shot up, stepping past me for the front door. I caught up to her on the front porch, not touching her but holding up my hands. She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her temple. “Please move. Better yet, take me back to the cabin.”

“...If that’s where you want to be,” I said. She went straight to the truck, barefoot, climbing inside. I got in after her, leaving my keys in my pocket. I could sense her agitation rising, especially when I turned towards her. “What did your brother say, Y/N?”

“He told me he contacted my dad right after the change. How dad would call him every few years. He didn’t know I thought he was dead all this time,” she breathed out. She shook her head, wrapping her arms tight around herself. “You have an idiot for a soulmate.”

“Now I don’t believe that’s true for a second. I-”

“Beau.” Y/N glared at me but her eyes were more watery than anything else. “You have a teenage daughter that knows more about how sex works in this world than I do. I’m…a child. You deserve so much better than me. I’ve never had a real job. I’ve never had my own place. Shit, my longest relationship lasted two months. J-Just throw me back in the woods so I can be alone.”

Omega in pain. Omega in pain.

She moved as far away as possible, staring out the window as a primal urge in my head was trying to take over.

Protect her. PROTECT HER. Do your job.

“No.” She shifted in her sheet, making her eyes as hard as she could. “I don’t care if you hate me. I will never abandon you. Ever.”

“I’m a fucking project, not a soumate,” she scoffed.

“You think I’m perfect?”

“Um, have you met you because yes, you are,” she grit out. I growled, her scent shooting through the roof as I leaned over and cupped her cheek. Her lips parted, breath mingling with my own. “W-What are you doing?”

“I don’t like when you’re mean to yourself,” I said, my voice lower than usual as I kept a tight control on letting my Alpha out. Y/N shivered under my touch and she looked away embarrassed. “Don’t you dare be embarrassed for making slick. You are in heat next to your true mate. I’d be concerned if you weren’t.”

“I don’t know anything,” she whispered, still not looking at me. “I don’t know how to be an adult or have my soulmate be someone way out of my league or what you want me to be to Emily. You have an ex-wife and you have such an important job and you’re single dad and it doesn’t matter how nice you smell or if you give me lightning bolts. I am and will be a burden to you.”

I sat back in my seat, breathing hard. Y/N sniffled, keeping her head low. “I know I’ve upset you, I can smell it.”

“I’m upset you’re upset. I’m not upset at you,” I said quietly. Every instinct I had said pull her into my lap, bite her neck and press the magic fix it button to flood her full of so much ooey gooey good feeling crap she’ll never remember why she had doubts in the first place.

Talk to her.

I swallowed, closing my eyes. “My partner died two years ago. He was my best friend.”

“Beau.” She unfurled her hands from her body surely because one of them was interlacing with my own. “I’m so sorry.”

“I blamed myself for a long time. For too long. For something out of my control,” I said, opening my eyes, finding her misty ones. “It drove my ex away. It drove Emily away too for a while. I’m so scared of loving someone else and losing them. Y/N, it took everything in me to not kill those men that attacked you last night. I am not fucking perfect and you are way way too hard on yourself. News flash, nobody knows how to be an adult. We’re all just pretending and a smart woman like you, hell you already are thinking of my daughter before I am. You are not behind. You are right where you’re supposed to be.“

“I…” She sighed, squeezing my hand. “I’m sorry that happened to your friend.”

“Did you get any of the rest of that?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “So we both need to take it easier on ourselves.”

“I got faith in us.” She wiped off her face as she nodded, her scent turning calm and gentle. “Come on. It’s been a long day and you’re at the tail end of your heat. You need to get some rest.”

“Dad!” I bottled upright in bed, groggy and reaching for my gun when Emily burst in the bedroom. “It’s almost seven. Move your ass. I’m not getting detention for being late again because of you.”

“Good morning to you too,” I mumbled, setting my gun back on the bedside table and flopping back against the pillows.

“Pro tip,” she said, whacking me with a pillow. I groaned, growling as I sat back up. “Maybe go make you and your new omega girlfriend some coffee? Not like she talked about coffee for like a solid thirty minutes with your coffee snob ass last night.”

“Someone’s got a mouth on her this morning,” I said, tossing back the covers, Em rolling her eyes as she left. “What?”

“I’m so going to be late,” she muttered, jogging downstairs. I grumbled, padding into the bathroom and getting ready for the day. Em was in a mood when I found her by the front door waiting for me but it was no big deal to me if she was late a few minutes. For one, that school started too damn early at 7:30. She had freaking study hall first period of the day which was just plain stupid. Plus that principal of hers had more than a few unpaid parking tickets I could leverage.

I whipped up a cup of coffee and poured the rest in my thermos, tossing some half and half in the mug before whistling on my way outside. “Dad!”

“Five minutes, pumpkin. Why don’t you lock up and I’ll meet you at the truck?” I slipped outside, Em muttering again as I walked across the yard. WIth two knocks on the door of the airstream, it opened, Y/N half-asleep as she answered in last night’s clothes. “Good morning, gorgeous.”

“You’re lucky you’re hot,” she mumbled, perking up when I held out an orange mug. “Is that-”

“Coffee. Two tablespoons half & half. Hold the cream and sugar.” Her eyes welled up as she took the mug. “You really missed coffee, huh?”

“You were paying attention to what I said last night,” she whispered. I cocked my head, leaning my hip against the door jam. “Thank you for the coffee, Beau. I really appreciate it.”

“No worries.” The truck horn honked and I rolled my eyes, Y/N smirking. “I have to run before that one hotwires the car without me but I’ll be back and we can go shopping for whatever you need. Food. Clothes. Whatever you want. I’ll be back in about thirty.”

“Thanks, Alpha.” She stepped forward and pecked a kiss to my cheek, grinning when I blushed. “That’s adorable.”

“I’m from Texas. We don’t blush,” I said despite feeling the radiating heat on my face. She raised an eyebrow, her smile turning a hair darker. “Omega…”

“You know that only makes me want to find out how to make you blush more, right?” I pouted but didn’t mean it, Y/N seeing right through it. “All that for a peck on the cheek. I wonder how red I can get you when I properly kiss you.”

“Down girl,” I purred, adjusting myself and in desperate need of one of my scent blockers again. “Let’s cool our jets. Once we start playing around, it’s going to be hard for either one of us to not want to bond.”

“Sorry,” she said, not looking it one bit. She pressed the mug to her lips, eyes closing as she took her first sip. “Wow. Yeah, I’m so keeping you. This is the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had.”

“Well that’s a relief,” I chuckled, the horn honking incessantly in the background. “I’m sorry about the sassy child.”

“It’s fine. Take her to school. I’ll be here.”

“I’ll be right back, darlin’.”

Four Weeks Later

Y/N was tucked against my side, resting her head on my shoulder and draping her arm over my chest. Soft, slow breaths left her lips, nose buried against my pec. Oh so carefully I thumbed over the fresh bite mark on her neck. Ordinarily I’d think the best thing to do would be not touch it but instinct was telling me to gently soothe the ache away and her pain would be gone by the time the flood of hormones in her body dropped.

“How we feeling, Omega?” Y/N tightened her hold on my body, snuggling harder.

“Fuzzy,” she mumbled, a smile on her lips. “You?”

“Fuzzy’s a good way to describe it,” I chuckled. “You did so well.”

“Not so bad yourself,” she laughed, eyes closing. “You smell even nicer now if that’s possible.”

“I know the feeling.” I stroked my fingers up and down her bare back, tracing patterns against the soft flesh. “So…would you maybe want to move into the house?”

“You really know how to pillow talk, babe,” she said against my shoulder, smirking against it. “And yes, I’m tired of being away from you guys.”

“Okie dokie.” Y/N snorted, lifting herself up onto her palms to look at me. “What?”

“You’re way too hot to be that adorable.” I shrugged, smirking as I gripped her waist and pulled her tight against my chest, earning a gasp. “Oh you want to play?”

“With you? Forever.” I grasped her chin with my thumb and finger, pulling her into a deep kiss. “Who’s ready for round two?”

Three Months Later

“Emmet!” Y/N squealed and jumped into her brothers arms the second I had the front door open. He laughed deeply, dropping his luggage on the porch to catch her.

“Fuck Y/N, I’m forty six years old. You’re going to throw out my back if you keep doing that every time I visit,” he laughed, spinning her around. “How you doing, kiddo? Keeping your Alpha in line?”

“She wishes,” I said, giving him a brief hug when he set her down. “Where’s Max?”

“She’s coming up on Saturday. Covering a double at the hospital,” said Emmet, giving Emily a hug when she popped out of the kitchen. “Em, mind helping me get the presents?”

She threw on her coat and boots, following Emmet outside as I saw Y/N’s father putter around their rental car. Emmet said something to him, the man giving Emily a brief smile before he carefully walked across the shoveled driveway.

“Darren.”

“Beau.” Y/N frowned at him, his jaw clenching when he saw the faded mark on her neck. “Emmet’s right. You really did claim her.”

Y/N stepped onto the porch, waves of powerful scent washing over us. “This is my house, dad. If you’re going to be a dick, you can go sit in a hotel room by yourself for a week while the rest of us celebrate the holidays. As a pack. Beau’s family is coming in tomorrow and you will not-“

“Down omega,” I purred, Y/N allowing me to pull her back a few steps. “She’s a tad defensive of me and Emily is all. Darlin’, why don’t you help the Em’s.”

A moment later Darren and I were alone. I nodded, walking him around the wrap around porch to the side of the house where a pair of rocking chairs sat. I took a seat in the far one, Darren hesitantly sitting in the opposite.

“Y/N and I like to sit out here in the morning and have our coffee together.” Darren grunted, lips pressed into a thin line. “How’s the leg?”

“It hurts,” he grumbled.

“But you can walk on your own on it. Emmet says that’s a good sign.” He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Arlen, enough with the small talk. Say what you mean to say away from my daughter.” I leaned back, rocking a few times, enjoying the chill breeze.

“Your daughter didn’t want you to come. The only reason you are invited is because I asked her to give you another chance.” He scoffed. “You were pretty nasty when we showed up at rehab a few months ago and saw she was claimed.”

“You manipulated her into being with you. She doesn’t know it yet but you’ll turn on her. I know cops like you, especially cop mutts. Don’t blame me for seeing exactly who you are.”

“Well fuck you,” said Emily, appearing around the corner.

Back off, pup. I got this.

Only she ignored the warning in my scent, the clear line she would have picked up in favor of storming over in front of Darren. “You’re an asshole.”

“Em-”

“The mouth on you,” said Darren, frowning up at her. “You learn that from your father?”

“If anyone’s the manipulative asshole around here maybe it’s the guy who scared his kid into staying in a cabin for a decade,” she spit out. Darren opened his mouth, Emily holding up a hand. “My dad’s not perfect but thank god I have him. Bad stuff happened to both of us but he doesn’t keep me locked up. So maybe stop being an ass to the guy that makes Y/N happy for the first time in ten years.”

“Emily,” I said as she started to walk away. “Em!”

“Ground me but I am not apologizing,” she said, walking off back around the corner. I sighed, side eyeing Darren.

“You know what, you say and think what you want about me but don’t you dare speak ill of my daughter,” I said. “She has been through more shit than you could ever know so do not blame her for being defensive of her family which includes your daughter.”

I stood, putting my hands on my hips, looking out over the barren yard, a light layer of snow dusting it.

“It’s not personal,” said Darren after a beat. “I’d hate any man that tried to take her away. I’ve hated all of her ex’s.”

“I know something about having a daughter that was kidnapped.” I turned over my shoulder, Darren’s face paling. “You didn’t keep her safe. You squashed her. From the moment I met your daughter, I’ve had to help her learn that she can have goals and dreams of her own. She lived her whole life trying to appease you. She will never do that with me. Never. So I understand the fear and pain of dealing with your little girl being taken and feeling like a failure as a father. But we have to let them go because our little girls are a lot stronger than us fathers give them credit for. Let them show us. The only person my kid mouths off with is me, her mother, and Y/N. Her parents. For her to do that just now means you really ticked her off. So stop protecting Y/N for one second and get to know that strong kid of yours.”

He was quiet, no words spoken between us as he rose.

“Your daughter reminds me of Y/N when she was younger.”

“Em adores Y/N…aside when Y/N goes mom mode and makes Em do her chores,” I chuckled. Darren cleared his throat. “The girls are still figuring out their roles but Y/N’s gotten more comfortable stepping into that parental role. They’re friends more than anything. Family.”

“Right,” he said quietly. “How angry is Y/N with me?”

“Oh, pretty mad,” I laughed. “She’ll forgive you eventually. Probably. I’d stop calling her mate a manipulative mutt, though. Might help out there just a tad.”

He lowered his head with a nod. “Let’s go in before you freeze.”

“Alpha,” Y/N murmured from beside me in bed late that night. I had my face shoved into the crook of her neck, arms bundled under her maroon sweatshirt, formerly our sweatshirt, formerly formerly my sweatshirt. “Noooo, get your greedy hands away from my fleece.”

“No can do, darlin’,” I murmured, arms shoved under the soft material, her eyes narrowing. “I’m not going to cop a feel.”

“Sure you won’t,” she teased. “We can play in a minute. Real talk right now.”

“What’s up?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist, lifting my head. Her fingers raked through my hair, massaging my scalp. I hummed, resting my chin on her shoulder.

“I don’t know what you said to my dad earlier but thank you. He was different.”

“Well, Emily should really get the credit. She stole my thunder,” I said, Y/N’s scent swirling around the room. “Our girl really loves you, you know.”

She flushed, smiling when I kissed her jaw. “Thank you both then.”

“You’re welcome. Now,” I said, grabbing the ends of the sweatshirt, pushing them up her body. “I think you stole this.”

“Going to arrest me for it?” she murmured, pulling me into a chaste kiss before rolling to the far edge of the bed and out of my grasp. She sat up with a fake pout, batting her eyes as I crawled over. “That’s a good look for you, Alpha. On all fours for me.”

“For fucks sake, Omega,” I growled, grabbing her ankle and yanking her body underneath mine as she giggled. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something, Alpha Boy.” I laughed into her neck, kissing over her healed mark.

“For you, Omega, anything at all.”

___________

#beau arlen #beau arlen x reader #beau x reader #alpha!beau x omega!reader #big sky #beau arlen fanfic #big sky fanfic #beau arlen x you #beau arlen x female reader

283 notes · View notes