kurikaki

[kurikaki]

First, Kakashi knows his luck is not the best. He used to blame himself for all the misfortune that happens around him. 

His father killed himself, his teammate, Obito, sacrificed himself only to come back all wrong, and he killed the person, Rin, he promised to protect with his own hands. 

He has baggage of trauma sack upon each. Kakashi accepts this. Life is a bitch and mercy is a fickle thing that only lucky people can have. 

He knows.

Second, He knows he is not a good person. He murdered people without mercy and regret by the order of the Hokage he served. Without question.

His hand is soaked with the blood of people he killed, he can never wash it off.

It makes him wonder how others stand to look at themselves for the thing they have done, is doing and will do for the sake of this village.

Lastly, He never will be a people person. He was never a good reason for people. Although he wanted to. Kakashi was not enough for people to stay.

[kurikaki]

i was going through my wips and damn. Got hit by my own angst

AN:

😭

this emoji followed by

Sori I wrote this after watching Final | Alien Stage

[kurikaki]

The Seo brothers love each other so much

[kurikaki]

I'm reading the trashy pd has to survive as an idol

and damn

I don't know if I am bias (I am). But is there gay subtext between Seo Hoyun and Joo Woosung

or is my shipping glasses on

[kurikaki]

i read CS Lewis’ A Grief Observed one time years ago and i’m still not recovered from it

[kurikaki]

It has all gone down to hell. The server they made was torn with war and hate.

When he ordered the community be destroy, because he didn't have the guts to destroy it himself.

How could he? 

Him? Destroy the memories of happiness they have back then?

The laughter, the smiles, the happiness.

He knew there was no going back.

Before someone destroyed it, he looked away and ordered it destroyed.

All Dream wanted was to have someone to call a friend again.

After months, he can finally see the sky again. Feel the sun on his skin.

It burns.

[kurikaki]

There were many things he hated. But the action resulting in Techno getting invited on the server was never one of them.

Tech was joining the server. Today.

Dream has never been more thankful in making a habit of greeting all the members of the server every time they join.

Because he was going to talk with Techno. With Techno.

Technoblade joined the server.

Dream barely stopped himself from jumping around in joy.

That was the moment Dream noticed Techno was staring at him.

What? What’s wrong? Is there something on his face? 

He can't help fidget on the spot. 

[kurikaki]

—and then after slaying the dragon. Two gods starts to speak in front of him. And the universe said I love you because you are love.—

The children listening to Dream's teaching closer. Eager to hear what he has to say

—Wake up."

Dream poke them each on the nose. The children burst into giggles.

He clapped his hands. " Run along. We are done for today."

The children got up and ran. “Bye!”

"You really should stop teaching forbidden scripture."

Techno appeared from behind a tree.

“Oh when you are the one asking, it's okay. What a flip of attitude.”

[kurikaki]

The sound of metal colliding, the sound of a plate being set down the table. It was completely domestic.

And Dream don't belong, not anymore.

The smell of vegetables and meat drifted inside the room. It was not Dream's room, never his to own.

Dream signed, folding his body and resting his forehead against his knees.

He can't help it, the longing, the yearning. The aching in his chest for a home that was and will never again.

Home slipped through his fingers, crumbled into ashes.

Still he misses it.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Dream lifted his head, to find Techno.

[kurikaki]

Good morning, you have to be the thing that saves you

[kurikaki]

When they first step inside this world. They promised, this would be the end to the things before, that this would be a new beginning.

Dream forgot to ask, if their friendship was included.

When he got locked inside Pandora's Vault.

Dream realized something about himself, when Sapnap threaten him and when George didn't even visit.

Dream was not made for happy ending.

He was made for blood stained and fighting until the bitter end.

But Techno make him want to try, for the gentle things

He makes him wan to take off his armor and lay down his sword.

But Techno make him want to try, for the gentle things

He makes him wan to take off his armor and lay down his sword.

[kurikaki]

…And if we won’t burn together, I’ll burn alone.

Bret Easton Ellis

[kurikaki]

[the human heart] by Gregory Orr

[kurikaki]

this hit me like a truck

[kurikaki]

“Mate, you do know this is a trap. Right?”

Hat shadowed his eyes and head faced away from him, facing the sunrise. Philza asked,” Do you love him?”

“Would doing so make my action easier to accept?” Techno crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, also facing the sunrise.

Philza stayed silent.

"I wish—" Techno shakes his head —"no. It would be easier if I didn't love at all."

Philza huffed, turned and looked Techno in the eye. “ I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Techno barked out a laugh and head threw back. “When did I ever hesitate?”

[kurikaki]

Techno love you and he never gave him any reason to doubt. With him, all he feels is love and contentment.

It was him who loves you. It was him who stayed.

Techno would cradle Dream in his arms, like you were his most precious treasure. That he would live for you.

He would smile, oh so sweetly. What else can you do but melt.

"Oh, Beloved you deserve better than the world has given you." Techno softly muttered, against his forehead.

His warmth against his back and the gentle sunlight on his face. Dream has never more at peace

[kurikaki]

was playing "fetch" with the ocean today by tossing stones into it and watching them wash back up with the tide a few meters away, and it got me thinking about grief and the things we carry with us even after we lose them