#which brings me back to an earlier point :) and so the cycle continues on and on

[totentnz]

i am once again incredibly sad at the impossible friendship between kerry and (my) v

[wroteclassicaly]

Warnings: Language, menstrual cycle, mentions anxiety, emotions, blood, cramps, hurt/comfort, Nancy makes an adorable appearance, and lots of fluff!

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

He isn’t sure how much time has passed, because everything seems so chaotically still. But your trembling, sobbing presence declares otherwise. It started earlier, with a clasped hand to your stomach, pushing your favorite pizza away in disgust. That space between your eyebrows screwed up in pain, and you’d left the table without another word. You should’ve planned on bringing things with you, I mean, hell, you always write your cycles down on Eddie’s Bible quote calendar anyways.

Neither of you were prepared for it to happen today, during the late evening hours, despite its looming date getting closer on Eddie’s wall display. You beelined it for your pad stash that the Munson’s so graciously permitted you your own drawer for in their small bathroom, only to find you had one singular sanitary pad, and a whole lotta mess on your hands. It was unexpectedly heavy, and it really fucking hurt, which didn’t usually occur until the next day. You called for your boyfriend and he immediately found you, head in your hands, on his toilet, thighs streaked in bright crimson, switching from holding your temples to angrily scrubbing at your eyes. Things with your cycle were never awkward with Eddie, not after getting used to it.

He simply knelt down, chain slapping against his pants, house slippers on his feet, taking your hands in his as he asked one question. “What do you need, sweetheart?”

~*~

Eddie rocks you back and forth, rubbing down your spine as you cry. As dusk turned into nightfall, summer storms beginning, battering the trailer with their high winds, your pain increased to the point where he’d considered calling for help. Midol worked for one hour and barely took the edge off, his hand couldn’t do the trick, you felt too bad to attempt an orgasm, and you are shaking with pleading sobs. He does all that he knows to calm you down, a slow ticking beneath his vocal cords, his throat warming as he begins to softly sing to you, cross-legged, you in his lap, arms tucked beneath his pits and draped around his lower back, his own continuously stroking you, not ceasing his back and forth movements. He ignores the tears in his own eyes as you cry out and squirm.

And that’s what you do. You cry yourself into a numbing sleep. That’s when Eddie lays you down and immediately dials up Wheeler, having to answer questions about what milligrams your pain meds are and if you are out of pads and tampons. Despite the rain, she is there with several bags not even twenty minutes later. She puts the chocolate and various salty snacks away with his assistance, hands him a new bottle of Midol, also laying out a new box of tampons and a smaller package of sanitary pads, before she is explaining how your medicine has a higher dosage, and ultimately helps him figure out the hot water bottle.

How Eddie Munson, of all people (she knows better after all these years than to judge a book by its cover) takes care of her best-friend, it makes her giddy, relieved.

“Each girl varies, but this stuff should help. I know her periods get a little rough sometimes. If she needs anything, have her call me or you can call me back, okay?”

“I definitely owe you one, Nance.” As he switches off from the usage of Wheeler, she’s folding the paper sack, grinning widely.

Definitely a teddy bear.

Once she’s safely in her station wagon and leaving his drive, Eddie automatically prepares your hot water bottle, grabs fresh ice water, your new pills bottle, and a few snacks, tucking the bottle beneath his armpit. He settles everything in a neat place on his nightstand, thankful you’re still asleep, but seeing your face still scrunched in agony. He gently lays the bottle beneath your navel, pulling his blanket over your form, leaving you only to wet a washcloth and wipe away the sweat that’s built on your forehead. He does that for a little while, changes your bottle in and out, right up until he sees that frown vanish and you curl into his side. He’s working a poem he plans on turning into lyrics when you stir.

It’s still raining steadily, scattering a beat that he can sample upon the tin roof. You stretch out like a cat, yawning, eyes blinking slowly as you take the room and your boyfriend into focus. You mumble about the time, grasping at the bottle on your belly. When Eddie comes into full view, he’s got one leg propped, the other flat, his notebook balanced on his raised knee, his shirt off, rings gone, with just his pick and boxers remaining. He looks relieved at your lazy grin.

Still, though, he has to check in. “Do I need to go reheat it, baby? I’ve been doing it off and on since Nance dropped it off.”

Nancy was here? He called her Nance? And your cramps are gone. There’s so much to smile about that you become overwhelmed, especially with your ability to focus again beyond mind numbing anxiety, and anguish. Your sclera is flooded with tears and Eddie instinctively freaks out, sliding from the bed. “I’ve got new Midol here, there’s pads and tampons, some snacks, still leftover pizza, and I can fix you right up, sweet—“

You’re kissing the remaining letters of the nickname right off of his mouth. Your hands press into his curls, dragging them through your fingers, enjoying how their soft-silky texture tickles your knuckles. He wraps his arms around your back, letting a palm dig into your tailbone. You mewl appreciatively. Eddie uses a calloused thumb to swipe away your tears on the wet break away, on the verge of losing it at the relief of your relaxed state - himself.

And you, you’re looking at him as if he’s hung the moon for you. No one has to say anything, you both already know.

However, Mother Nature captivates your tongue and takes a hold of your desires. You let one hand drift and gently play with his chain, and he’s unable to deny how he’s practically purring in your grasp. “Eddie?”

“Yeah….?” He’s dazed and grinning like a goofy idiot.

“I’m hungry. Oh, and I love you!”

[juniorfor2]

I’ve seen too many posts on Rhaenyra ‘continuing the cycle of Viserys’ weakness’ or ‘being a bad mother’ without considering the bad writing of House of the Dragon and I am fed up with it. Rhaenyra’s motherhood being stripped from her was nothing more than ignorant and (at times) malicious writing, it is not a true aspect of her character.

First, considering the “parallel” between Viserys and Rhaenyra - where neither truly support their heir’s position - it should be pretty apparent that this wasn’t intentional. The writers clearly had NO understanding of how they wrote Viserys, which in turn meant they didn’t understand how they wrote Rhaenyra. Even back in Season 1, consider the fact that it was the fandom that noticed how weak Viserys was in supporting Rhaenyra, there was little to no framing of this at all from the show itself. He’s portrayed as a man who wished for his family to get along, but failed because they refused to do so - not because of his lack of decision making.

In Episode 8, he’s desperately trying to bring his family together one last time, and he is portrayed as someone who is not at fault; regardless of the fact that he was clearly much too late to change anything, this is a heroic act. Viserys is not at fault, it was Alicent who misheard him, the council who usurped Rhaenyra. Viserys was a ‘good’ man, and the weak and politically terrible attempts he made to secure her succession are instead framed as strong and wise decisions.

Even back in the earlier episodes, this is obvious. When he sends Rhaenyra out on her tour for a husband, this is made out as Viserys helping her. Rhaenyra is terrified of marriage and the childbed, but his ignorance of such isn’t considered at all by the show. And when he sends off Otto, this is shown as an amazing decision that showed his clear protectiveness of Rhaenyra - even though he then took away her choice, sold her off to a man who would have a hard time giving her children, and took away one of the only family members she felt she could rely on. Truly incredible.

And even further back, when Viserys is stubbornly acting as if nothing is wrong during the carriage ride to the hunt, this is framed as Rhaenyra being difficult, not Viserys’ lack of consideration for her feelings. The show had very little idea of who they made Viserys out to be.

In Episode 10, this idea becomes more forceful through Rhaenyra’s sovereignty.

“Rhaenyra is very much her father’s daughter…the way she approaches her duties as sovereign is much more in line with Viserys” - Ryan Condal, Inside the Episode

Viserys is not viewed as weak. He’s a “peaceful” and “good” ruler, one who should be emulated. Season 2 not only confirms this, but also encourages it.

“Do you never think of your father? His…forbearance, his…judiciousness, his…his dignity.” - Otto Hightower, S02E03

“You sound like my father.” - Rhaenyra to Daemon, S02E08

This means that the idea that Rhaenyra’s parenting is a result of Viserys’ is nonexistent. How can her parenting be weak when her father’s wasn’t either? This is a parallel that comes from the fandom, it has no real meaning in the story. That’s not to say the writers weren’t putting Rhaenyra in a situation where her parenting could be questioned - because they were - but this is not a true parallel, it does not exist to affect or even foreshadow the plot.

Rhaenyra does not continue this cycle of weakness. In fact, if the writers or the fandom understood the relationship between Viserys & Alicent’s family, and Rhaenyra & Daemon’s family, they would have understood that Rhaenyra would break any cycle created.

This brings me to the next point - Rhaenyra is not a bad mother. She is being stripped of her motherhood, yes, but she is not a bad one.

Regardless of book or show, it is clear that Rhaenyra raised a good family. In the book Jace, Luke, and Joffrey are noble, caring, and perfect as any man in Westeros could be. Aegon as well, kept constantly by Rhaenyra’s side, is noted to be a good person, even if traumatized. And with no other consistent parenting figure, GRRM clearly credits this to Rhaenyra. The fact that every one of the children she raised turned out so well was not unintentional writing.

When the Prince of Dragonstone took his dragon back into the cold autumn sky, he did so with the knowledge that he had won three powerful lords and all their bannermen for his mother. Though his fifteenth nameday was still half a year away, Prince Jacaerys had proved himself a man, and a worthy heir to the Iron Throne.

His brother Lucerys agreed. “Our uncle calls us Strongs, but when the lords see us on dragonback they will know that for a lie. Only Targaryens ride dragons.” Mushroom tells us the Sea Snake grumbled at this, insisting the three boys were Velaryon, yet he smiled as he said this…“My lord, I am not free to marry,” he replied. “I am betrothed to my cousin Rhaena.”

Prince Joffrey, three-and-ten, donned squire’s armor and begged the queen to let him ride to the Dragonpit and mount Tyraxes. “I want to fight for you, Mother, as my brothers did. Let me prove that I am as brave as they were.”

“There will be no progress.” [Aegon] declared… “I mean to give the smallfolk peace and love and justice.”

And when it comes to protecting her children - well, there is no doubt that she supported their ascension.

Ser Vaemond Velaryon, protested that the inheritance by rights should pass to him…on the grounds that Rhaenyra’s sons were bastards sired by Harwin Strong. The princess was not slow in answering this charge. She dispatched Prince Daemon to seize Ser Vaemond, had his head removed, and fed his carcass to her dragon, Syrax.

“Bastard blood, shed at war,” Alicent replied… The Dowager Queen’s words only fanned the flames of Rhaenyra’s wroth. “I will hear no more lies,” she warned. “Speak again of bastardy, and I will have your tongue out.”

In the show, while these events are somewhat removed/haven’t happened yet, they are somewhat present in S1. Rhaenyra drags herself through the Red Keep minutes after childbirth to ensure Joffrey is safe by her side. She threatens Aemond to keep her son safe, and takes a dagger to the arm to keep Alicent from harming him. When it came to Luke’s succession being threatened, she was willing to beg her father to protect her and her children. She gives a small nod to Daemon, asking him to take Vaemond’s head. She clearly does her best to protect her children in Season 1.

Rhaenyra, also unlike Viserys, ensures her children all love each other. While she had a terrible relationship with her own half-siblings in part because Viserys never cared to ensure Alicent couldn’t influence them against Rhaenyra, the half-sibling children of Rhaenyra clearly do not feel the same animosity.

The Prince of Dragonstone also had a care for the safety of his half-brothers, Aegon and Viserys, aged nine and seven. Their father, Prince Daemon, had made many friends in the Free City of Pentos during his visits there, so Jacaerys reached across the narrow sea to the prince of that city, who agreed to foster the two boys until Rhaenyra had secured the Iron Throne.

Viserys’ return did much to lessen the king’s loneliness as well. As a boy, Aegon had worshipped his three elder half-brothers.

Rhaenyra is not a continuation of Viserys. She is his opposite. She ensures her sons grow up kind and noble, unlike Viserys’ sons who grow callous and cruel to all. She protects her sons from threats of succession, unlike Viserys who sought to please both Rhaenyra and Alicent, putting her in danger. She ensures all her children grow up as one family with no wish to overthrow one another, whereas Rhaenyra’s own half siblings did usurp her. It is very clear in the book that Rhaenyra raised and protected her children in the way Viserys never truly did for her.

Now, in House of the Dragon, the writers changed this aspect of her in two ways in Season 2: by removing her children from her side, and by making Rhaenyra choose the throne over her children.

In the first one, this is easily seen when Rhaenyra willingly sends off all of her children to the Vale. Rather than have this orchestrated by Jacaerys, she sends them off herself, and says that she cannot be a mother to them. To add to this, Rhaenyra hardly has any time with the children, leaving the scenes between them rather cold. We also see the way that Jace, Joffrey, Aegon, and Viserys do not mix. They are not in the same scenes most of the time, or they do not interact with one another.

This was mostly just because Condal only cared to develop the Team Green kids over Team Black’s, but it was also set up in order to make the next change easier - and to make sure the audience wouldn’t question it.

The second change was deliberate, and intended to take away Rhaenyra’s motherhood. When they created the dragonseed situation, they specifically gave it to Rhaenyra to carry out in order to put her in a position between power and her children. As if somehow she could not come to a compromise.

She can have the throne or the children, not both.

This show has a serious problem with female autonomy and illegitimate children, so this was done for a reason. To portray bastards as some sort of “sin” that must be given up in order to gain something “righteous.” In the books they cause her 0 problems - the Greens usurped her because of misogyny, the bastardy was simply their cover up that no one else cared to believe, even on their own team.

Ser Criston Cole spoke up. Should the princess reign, he reminded them, Jacaerys Velaryon would rule after her. “Seven save this realm if we seat a bastard on the throne.” He spoke of Rhaenyra’s wanton ways and the infamy of her husband. “They will turn the Red Jeep into a brothel. No man’s daughter will be safe, nor any man’s wife. Even the boys…we know what Laenor was.”

This is changed in the show, where the children are the problem, not the misogyny. This much has been clear throughout both seasons, but it is actively encouraged in Season 2, where the writers’ bigotry and hatred for Team Black was let loose.

They do not like Rhaenyra, and they don’t seem to particularly care for how much this characteristic of hers was loved by the audience. They also don’t like Jace, Luke, or Joff much because they are rather bastardphobic (how that exists now I don’t know, but this show has revealed just how many people believe it). So the writers indulged in their fantasies by taking away one of Rhaenyra’s best characteristics, and by portraying the Velaryon boys as uncompromisable obstacles to the throne just because of their birth. Therefore giving themselves a way to portray Rhaenyra as a narcissistic and religious woman who cares more about power than other people.

This is not Rhaenyra. This is the writers using her face to force in their own political and social ideas - just as they’ve done for Jace and Rhaenys. Rhaenyra’s unintentional parallel to Viserys means nothing, and is just a disguise the fandom made up to let the writers get away with their misogynistic writing. Rhaenyra was written as loving, protective mother, and to consider her otherwise is to engage in the writers’ misogyny, nothing else.

[figs-and-cigs]

Let's talk about Relationships!

When my relationship opened up and we jumped into the polyamory life, the first thing people told us to do was read read read. Read books about Ethical Non-Monogamy, read books about Relationships, and read books about Self Improvement.

Something that kept coming to mind was a graphic I remembered learning about in a sociology textbook. Which looked something like this:

The Life Cycle of Relational Development.

Pictured in the Knapp model (I don't know if it's the exact same as the text book but it covers all the points).

If you're like me, my first reaction was uncomfortable distress! The model gave the impression that relationships were doomed to end. It was the last thing that I (diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and a history of codependent relationships) wanted to hear.

The reality was that, yes, most relationships DO come to an end. Ouch! But let's note that this graphic isn't just about romantic relationships, but all. It can be applied to familial, platonic, and even professional partnerships.

But let's take a step back and look at the earlier stages of a relationship.

One of the big complaints from anyone who dates a lot (poly and mono) is that relationships often seem short lived. In my experience this is because early stages tend to get glossed over. Most of us want to get right into the middle stages of Integration and Bonding. This is where the relationship is most stable. You're spending a lot of time together, making commitments and future plans.

The thing is once you reach the Bonding stage, the next stage is Differentiating and further decline. We come together and then begin to separate as individuals. "Yes we like to watch movies together, but sometimes I want to watch a romantic comedy and he doesn't like those."

This isn't a negative thing! It's a perfectly normal and natural progression of all relationships. Don't freak out just yet.

I'm Polyamory we talk about NRE - New Relationship Energy - a lot. Those early stages are emotionally intense and become the foundation for all relationships. An important thing to note is that there is no perfect timeline for these stages and relationships progression. But most of us want to skip ahead to the Bonding stage ASAP! so we miss the key building blocks in the early stages.

The importance of Experimenting and Intensifying.

Early in my Polyam journey I went on a lot of dates. One thing I ran into over and over again were people looking specifically for a relationship. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that, but because they had little success they were convinced that no one else actually wanted a longterm relationship (despite saying they did) or that they were somehow unlikable and defective.

One date in particular was quick to tell me that he was looking for someone to spend time and watch movies with during the day while his wife was at work and since he worked from home. This sounded like a great deal (as someone who is disabled and not working). Until I realized, that since we both agreed that was an ideal goal, he was done initiating and experimenting with the relationship. He was ready to skip to the Bonding stage. No need to go out on dates or continue getting to know each other, we can start cuddling on the couch tomorrow! He was convinced we were the perfect match just based on attraction and how our schedules aligned. Why keep looking for more?

Another relationship I had lasted about a month. After an amazing and fun couple of dates, I was suddenly in the girlfriend role. He messaged me regularly to ask how I was doing and to tell me about his daily struggles. I suddenly knew more about his day to day life than I knew about his interests. During that time I had a flare in my chronic illness and he did what any boyfriend would do. Asked how he could help, checked in on me regularly, gave suggestions about what I could do to feel better. He fussed, he worried, offered to bring me things, and showed immense sympathy.

While this doesn't sound negative - I had only been on 2 dates with the guy and known him for a month. I had dealt with chronic illness for years (and had a husband at home to support me), he wasn't someone I knew well enough to even feel comfortable reaching out to for support. Because he skipped right to the Bonding stage (treating me like a long term relationship) I felt trapped in an tumultuous cycle with a practical stranger and quickly moved into the Avoiding Stage.

When I ended both of those brief relationships both men responded negatively. They thought I lied about mutual interest in a long term relationship, and they both felt they were bad people doomed to never find another partner. The reality was, I wasn't ready to remain bonded with a stranger.

The more time spent building a relationship, the less likely it will end.

I know, that sounds like an obvious statement.

NRE often ends once a relationship gets into the Bonding stage. But by skipping those early stages of Experimenting and Intensifying, you're going to end up in an emotionally intense 'committed' relationship with no stability.

As I mentioned, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Emotional Intensity is my middle name. Relationship Termination sounds like the end of the world. Most of my relationships (prior to lots of hard work) were fast lived rollercoasters. We'd meet, combine our lives, and then break up in a relatively short amount of time. They'd feel suffocated by my love, seek to find some autonomy from me (Differentiating Stage) and I'd either return to Intensifying the relationship or move to ending the relationship before they could. This led to beliefs that I was broken and unworthy of love.

I really just lacked skills in building a healthy relationship. Most of my partners did too.

Long Term Relationships are going to cycle through these stages over and over again. Taking the time to Experiment and Intensify (build a relationship) means there will be more success with the Integrating and Bonding stages where the relationship is most stable.

The Bonding stage will always lead to the following stages.

"We've been married for 10 years and we spend a lot of time apart. We have different hobbies and friend groups (Differentiating). We don't have a lot to talk about since we know everything about each other (Circumscribing). We don't have fun anymore, we go through our routines and life is pretty humdrum (Stagnating)."

This is NORMAL. Assuming the relationship doesn't end, it usually leads to going back to the Experimental phase. They go to couples counseling, find a new hobby to do together, spice up the bedroom. In some cases this leads a lot of couples to giving Non-Monogamy a try. Things become exciting again, the relationship feels stronger than ever (Intensifying), they begin to connect and create a new normal and the relationship feels stable again (Integration and Bonding).

Polyam Thoughts and Struggles.

Someone who goes on a lot of dates and seeks multiple relationships is also likely to experience a lot of break ups. It kind of comes with the territory. A lot of times this can lead to feelings of self doubt and even discouragement about if Polyamory is worth it.

Coming to the conclusion that relationships have a life cycle and most of them come to an end actually gave me a sense of peace. The relationship wasn't a failure, it was an experience. Understanding the natural progression of a relationship and each stage also gave me a lot of room for self improvement in my relationship skills.

"Did we rush over the early stages of a relationship before making commitments?"

"Did NRE take away from important building blocks to really get to know each other and integrate out relationship?"

"When things became stagnant did we move into the Avoiding Stage or try rekindling with Experimentation?"

Acknowledging that relationships run a natural course also meant that no one needed to be "the bad guy" (note: we aren't taking about abusive relationships). I've watched Polyamory communities (and friend groups for monogamous couples) get torn apart when relationships end. Relationships where no one did anything wrong, but there's feelings of animosity and a need to take sides - because break ups suck.

Conclusion

If you're struggling in your relationships, don't give up. Remember these experiences are opportunities for growth - always!

What stage(s) are your relationship(s) in? I guarantee if you can identify that it'll change your perspective on it.

My husband and I have been together a lot time, we're constantly cycling between Stagnation and Experimentation. We move through them pretty seamlessly especially since we became familiar with the relationship lifecycle.

Most of my other partners fall into the Experimenting and Intensifying phases at the moment, and in my experience most ENM relationships hang out longer in these areas than other types of relationships. But I have also found that people who want to move too quickly and don't give NRE a chance to run its course, burn out more often.

The most important thing is to give yourself grace and keep reading, reading, reading.

Anyways I needed this reminder and it was helpful to actually type it out. Maybe it'll help someone else.

The End.

[hanaotaku95]

Memories (Spoilers for BATDR)

This will be my last post about this for a bit, I just have a lot to say and thing about this. So to get to the point, I’d like to turn the attention to the story Memory!Joey tells Audrey of her creation.

On the surface, it’s a pretty straight forward retelling of things. Henry leaves, Joey creates the Cycle via the Ink Machine, meets Allison Pendle and Audrey is eventually created from that.

But if you take a closer look to just how Memory!Joey words it, things become a little more complicated.

The way he tells the story is a lot like how one would tell a story to a child, even beginning with “Once Upon a time”.

Now that alone isn’t enough to establish my claim, so let’s see the story itself.

Memory!Joey claims that he created the cartoon world in order to punish Henry for leaving. But here’s the thing, this completely contradicts what we know about the construction of the Ink Machine.

Starting at the beginning, Joey and Henry start their business together in 1929, and only two weeks after they do, Henry begins to regret it because of Joey’s work practices.

Bendy and Boris are created sometime after this and, a year later in 1930, Henry resigns and hasn’t been anywhere near the studio in years, and wouldn’t go back until 1963, which is when the first game takes place.

Now people round up or down all the time when discussing time so 30 years fits the time frame. And this established that Henry hasn’t seen or been near the studio since he left, given how surprised he was at the changes it went through in the first chapter (ink stains and the mess aside)

To continue, Alice Angel would be created 2 years after Henry leaves and Susie Campbell would be hired to voice her until Joey replaces her with Allison Pendle.

The Ink machine itself wouldn’t be constructed until around 1944, which is also when the idea of Bendyland was being discussed. Note that date, 1944. That’s 14 years after Henry leaves, and the machine was intended on bringing cartoons to life, which I assume was intended to feature alongside Bendyland. We can also put the creation of the Ink Demon sometime after this, and Susie Campbell was likely lured by Joey Drew with the promise of a new opportunity, and becomes the first of the ink/human experiments.

Another detail told that becomes a little more suspicious is Allison Pendle herself. As Memory!Joey tells it, he and Allison had a friendship that would lead him to creating a proper Alice to serve as “Henry’s Angel”. Again, there’s a problem with all of this.

Henry goes back to the Studio in 1963, and if he and Joey are roughly the same age, then that puts both of them at 62 years old age if both were born in 1901. Allison Pendle was hired to replace Susie Campbell either in 1932 or 1933. If she was a young woman, then she would be in her 50s-60s in the 1960s. But look at how Joey portrays and tells Audrey about his friendship with Alice in his story:

Both of them are young, which gives off the impression that Joey traps Henry in the studio far earlier than 1963, which would contradict the letter and also the creators saying that this is the year Ink Machine takes place in. (Also I love how he says he gives Henry an Angel when she literally leaves him behind to the Ink Demon not long after this, even if she was reluctant about it).

And this would also imply that Allison went in after Henry, which also contradicts how Allison and Tom are portrayed as experienced survivors of this world. Meaning both would have had to have already been in the cartoon world prior to Henry coming to the studio, especially with the Cycle being on repeat until after Joey Drew’s death.

So this brings me to the conclusion that this is a very biased take on the story, the actual truth behind Joey Drew’s life. We know Joey Drew himself is an unreliable narrator, so I wouldn’t put it past him to muddle up details to make himself look better. But with the way he told the story and one other piece of evidence, there is something to be considered.

Memory!Joey called himself “The memory of the man”. But what if he isn’t Joey Drew’s memory of himself, but Audrey’s memory of her “Dad”, the one she forgot that took on a life of its own when she entered the studio.

Think about it, Memory!Joey only ever appears before Audrey. Only ever to help her by giving her exposition and a morale boost. If he was truly the memory of Joey Drew, then why would he not appear before Henry, the guy whose life he screwed over? The way he tells of Audrey’s origins sounds like something a parent may tell their child, and it is entirely possible he that is reciting something he’s told Audrey and her previous selves when they were children.

And that’s it. I hope this made sense!

[hrodvitnon]

More thoughts on anomaly Dagon and Ultras

Ultras are capable of bringign people back to life-it's kind of a Thing. Also, in at least one continuity, they have a non-interference clause unless absolutely necessary due to how strong they are-which could explain a lack of appearance in Abelraxasverse. (They're also probably trying to make sure certain villains don't get as far as they do, or are operating very far in the background.)

(I like to think this guy was actually just studying Earth and the Hollow Earth when they found Dagon dying from the MUTO parasire babied and panicked, trying to help him.

Perhaps Spacium (the element that Ultras use) mixes really oddly with the Hollow Earth's innate energy and Titan Biology, resulting in weird Soul Shenanigans. (It might be more interesting for Dagon's soul being brought back wholly to be a genuine accident resulting from the mixing of two similar-yet-very-different energies. The Spacium energy lingered in his bones long after he died-and when Kiryu was activated, it Resonated.)

(Regardless of how he came back, however, Dagon still deeply appreciates that someone was there with him in his final moments. And even though their initial attempts to help didn't work the way they probably expected, it measn that Dagon is able to know his son and his grandchildren.)

---

I said I had thoughts earlier, and here they are.

Reminder that reincarnation is a part of the AbraxasVerse; Mothra constantly dies and is reborn, and Serizawa is reincarnated as Manda, only the difference is that Mothra retains her past life's memories while Manda (and everyone else) does not. When you die, your soul is brought in by an entity called the Mother Dark, who helps ease the soul into their current situation since they probably still cling to the memory of their material body, comforts them, and eventually these souls are "breathed" into a new material body to live a new life, having at some point forgotten the memories their past life (though some might linger as dreams). Let's say that the Mother Dark is the AbraxasVerse equivalent of Sophia in Gnosticism, who is responsible for why humans (and in this case Titans) have souls. (Bagan might be the Demiurge equivalent, like Deus in Xenogears.)

What the Ultra does for Dagon might be similar to what San did for Vivienne, albeit for different reasons, which is to say yank them out of the natural cycle before the Mother Dark can have them – which now gives me the funny mental image of the Mother Dark getting ready to greet Dagon only to see the Ultra futzing with his soul and She's like "yo, what the fuck?" She's not exactly pleased at this interruption in the process but might be willing to hear out the Ultra if only because he was there for Dagon. (She can't really do anything when Vivienne is being revived and transformed because, well, the Mother Dark doesn't exist in our physical space and Vivienne wasn't dead long enough for her soul to leave her body.)

So what I'm thinking, since the Ultras are apparently so powerful and can bring people back to life outside the reincarnation cycle (with an OK by the Mother Dark), is that maybe the Ultras are "emanations" like the Mother Dark; just as Sophia and her fellow Aeons are emanations of the Monad, also known as the Absolute, and source of the Pleroma and its divine light (Pleroma being sort of like Nirvana). This might, to me at least, explain why an AbraxasVerse Ultra would be able to do stuff like this.

[iviarellereads]

System Collapse, Chapter 1

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which we're back on the forward-track of the timeline.

Dr. Bharadwaj once told Murderbot that she thought it hated planets because it feared being judged expendable and left behind on one. MB lied to her, and said it's because planets are boring. Well, planets aren't boring, but it's less-boring in a bad way. Especially when you're investigating pre-Rim possibly alien contaminated sites in an environmental suit because you were being weird about wearing your armour.

MB decides to back up the conversation a bit for context.(1)

About 47 hours before our story starts, MB wanted to punch something in the face, preferably Art, or itself. They were already on the alien-contaminated planet. MB was surveilling a building. Having chased Ratthi,(2) Iris, and Tarik into the building, Hostile One, an agri-bot like the ones MB found scary in Network Effect, couldn't fit to follow.(3)

Art is asking for a status report, and MB waves it off, but it wants MB's personal status, not mission status.

Ugh, my status. I wasn’t supposed to come down to the planet again. Me, ART, Mensah, Seth, and Martyn had all made that decision, because of redacted.(4) I had even had an assignment during this day-cycle, sort of. It wasn’t really busywork, but it wasn’t not busywork, either. Karime had an in-person meeting planned with a faction of colonists at the main site habitation, and Three was going with her for security while pretending to be a human (always a fun time) and I was supposed to monitor Three and make sure it knew what to do and to not let ART give it anxiety. (Or more anxiety than it already had on its own.) I had been lying on the bunk in one of ART’s cabins watching The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon (episode 121, on repeat) while waiting for Karime and Three’s shuttle to arrive at the meeting site, when ART had slammed into my feed and said, I need you.(5)

Art couldn't use a pathfinder to take out the agribot, because that explosion would hurt the humans, so it became MB's turn.

On the feed, Ratthi asks how MB is doing. MB says it's fine, but not to let anyone get closer to the ag-bot's tentacle. Ratthi says it's a growth stimulator,(6) and it's fine, there's no rush.

You’re not fine, Ratthi, for fuck’s sake. (For however many corporate standard years, all I got from humans was “Run in there now no matter how likely you are to get blown to tiny pieces when a quiet tactical approach has a higher percentage of success” and now it’s “Oh no we’re fine, we can hang out in this objectively terrifying immediately hazardous situation for however long.”)(7)

MB continues to grumble in its thoughts about humans' penchant for understating things, and how Bharadwaj says even good changes can be stressful. While it does, its drones keep scouting for a position to take a good shot at the ag-bot with the recall beacon Art decided to repurpose to take it out. MB is glad for a weapon that won't bring it close enough to get its ass handed to it, again, by one of them.

A paragraph is spent comparing this ag-bot to the ones in Network Effect, and how similar and different the alien contamination was. Another paragraph is used to show Seth explaining the recall beacon, and apologizing to MB for having to go on-planet despite whatever the earlier redacted portion was. MB told him it was fine, and reiterates to the reader that it's fine, just fine, dangit.(8)

At any rate, a drone finds a good vantage point, but something about the threat assessment number, as well as the likelihood of successful retrieval, gives MB pause. As it reviews the numbers and the situation, it realizes it's not going to work. This is the problem with letting Art and the humans come up with the plans, really, and MB would have been more proactive about it, but the redacted incident.(9)

MB is on the move again, and sends its calculations to Art in place of an explanation. It would love to have Three here, but that would mean interrupting Karime's meeting, which is very important. And, there's no reason MB can't handle this. It already has a new plan, even! And threat assessment likes it more, because the explosion is further from the humans.

MB drops two transponders then gets the ag-bot's attention. It gives chase, and as it approaches the first, MB signals to detonate it… but the ag-bot jumps, as the contamination must have increased its processing and access to local networks.

As it's about to land on MB, two things happen: first, MB rolls to point the launcher for the last recall transponder up at it, and second, MB receives a ping from another SecUnit. At first it assumes it's Three, somehow, which would be embarrassing but also a relief. Only, it literally can't be Three, there wasn't time for it to get here, which means… it's a Barish-Estranza SecUnit.

Four days after Preservation showed up in Network Effect, a B-E explorer had arrived with three fresh SecUnits, minimum. The B-E group has been more proactive about evaluating the situation and talking to the colonists. Art ran the numbers, more than once, and it wasn't worth just killing them all on principle.

The other SecUnit hits the ag-bot with projectiles, right in the central processor as well as some shots to break it up, as it falls toward MB. MB, for its part, is able to roll out of the way of the debris. Art says that was too close to a murder attempt.

MB has everyone lock down for security, since it knows what a SecUnit is capable of intercepting, and runs all its new and improved human movement code. It asks if they can call off their SecUnit, and tries to groan and rise like a human would have in its situation. It even makes the effort to look at what it now terms B-E Unit1, and as Ratthi runs up to check on it, it asks him to pretend to help it up.

Ratthi, thankfully, picks up the situation immediately, and tells the B-E party that was too close. MB thinks about what it would have done differently, or at least tried to do.

(Obviously this is not actually what I’m upset about, it’s just easier to be angry about B-E Unit1’s fuckup and/or disregard for minimum client safety.) Safer to be angry about it, ART said on our private connection. I was not even going to respond to that. ART had told Mensah it wouldn’t push me. Just because its MedSystem was certified for emotional support and trauma recovery it thought it knew everything.(10)

Iris goes to meet the B-E leader, with Tarik close by and wearing his visor the way MB is, so it doesn't look out of place for covering its face. The leader is someone they've seen before, Sub-Supervisor Dellcourt, who is one of the smart ones. Iris thanks them too-politely,(11) and asks if they'll be billing later. Dellcourt says they'll add it to the creditor's statement.

MB explains how the billing is not a joke, Pin-Lee and Turi, Art's accountant, have been preparing a counter-bill if this ever ends. Money fights between corps are common and boring.

If you wonder why Art has an accountant, Martyn said Art is perfectly capable of doing its own accounting, but ends up with extra numbers that not even their best accountants can track. Turi does it with hardcopy backup ledgers, to make sure Art can't edit the data. There's a question about whether Art is making up numbers for fun, or if it has credit balances somewhere they don't know about.

Back to the story, where Dellcourt asks what business they have here. Iris asks the same. MB thinks it's some human posturing thing it doesn't understand, but it's pretty obvious Iris's group has been repairing the routers, and given the projectiles Unit1 had, the B-Es were looking for contaminated bots.

MB takes another aside(12) to describe the first interaction between the fresh B-E explorer and Art, which ended with B-E scuttling off and probably believing Art is an asshole human commanding officer. It clarifies that Art's sapience is a secret from everyone except the ranked levels of its university, and its team, and MB's team, so B-E have no way of even guessing what Art really is.

The rest of the B-E group is watching MB and the other humans. MB is glad it refined its human movement code, so it knows what to do with its hands. Still, it can tell Unit1 is staring at it. Iris, whether she noticed this as well or not, turns to thank Unit1. Dellcourt is dismissive, saying it's a SecUnit. Iris ignores him, and her team collect their equipment and leave.

=====

(1) Much appreciated, old friend. (2) Hey, I thought Murderbot was the only one sticking around for Art's missions! Nice to see another familiar face. And, Ratthi's really grown on me this reread. (3) Nice callback, not mentioning the book name (I did that myself) but making the connection for the reader. (4) Do you think we'll get an unredacted version of this in the book? Is it just referring to the events of Network Effect? (5) And, of course, what is MB going to do when its friend is in need? Help, that's what. (6) Oh that's what they're calling it these days? (7) Yep, sorry, people acknowledge your personhood now, and will be as polite to you as they would try to be to anyone else. (8) The more you say it, the less I believe it. Sorry. (9) Every repetition just makes me more curious. Why is this event redacted? (10) And to be fair, Art knows a lot. MB's just as stubborn as Mensah was about needing emotional help and support. (11) I very much imagine this in the vein of the "Bless your heart" of the southern US. (12) Every other paragraph in this opening chapter, I swear. To some degree I understand the necessity, since there's obviously been some time skip, and things need clarifying, but even so.

[mattved]

Mega projects

Two years ago, I changed jobs.

The role of BI Analyst that I moved from was about 80% hard-skill based. I took on it while living with a disability resulting from post-operation difficulties and it served me well, providing me with great work-life balance at acceptable wage. Thanks to the arrangement, I was able to take care of myself, deal with my physical handicap, and finally undergo a couple of surgeries, which restored my somewhat healthy status.

Following that, I finally started properly recovering mentally. Soon, I had been able to take on many of my previous hobbies other than gaming. I bought a bicycle, which I'd driven the 20 odd kilometers to work couple of times and even managed to climb the way to the dorms where my then girlfriend (now wife) stayed. I also managed to recondition and sell off computer hardware that I had had piling up for a good while then. I started new electronics projects and fixed appliences for friends and family. I redesigned my blog, made a website, designed a brandbook for an acquaintance, and edited hours of videos. It was almost as if I were back at the uni with little extra money, which allowed me to invest into stuff.

The next obvious thing to happen for any purpose-driven individual was becoming more proactive at work. I suggested expansion and overall improvement of architecture behind the firm's BI suite, because it was clearly necessary - more on that in an earlier article. In spite of my being categorized under finance, there was no real budget for it and most of my proposals ended up in an abbyss. I even paid for Google Cloud resources to automate some of the data science stuff.

When a new CTO came in and things finally started to move, he was more keen on bringing his own people to do the important work. Myself, being previously involved in projects of country-level importance including system implementation and process redesign, even being offered a similar role in the Netherlands, albeit shortly before being diagnosed with cancer, I felt it was unfair not to give me the opportunity. So I left to seek it elsewhere.

I found it with a firm two miles from my birthplace, which was founded some two years after I was born. [Coincidence? Likely.] They (or rather we) are a used car retailer and at that point in time needed to replace an old CRM system. And that's what I was tasked with, all the way from technology and supplier tender to the launch and establishment of iterative development cycles. It was notch up from what I did some time before then, exactly the challenge I felt I needed.

Supported by the director of ICT with profound experience working with a global logistics giant, I completed the implementation in two years. The role encompassed project management, across business stakeholders and external suppliers, creating technical specifications, but most of all, doing a lot of the programming myself - especially the integrations. Along the way, I was joined by a teammate, whom I slowly handed over the responsibility of overseeing the operations and providing L1 - L2 support.

The final 9 months leading up to that were particularly difficult, though - finalizing every little bit to the continually adjusting requirements put forward by the key process owners. In the week before go-live, I worked double hours to finish everything and enable a "big bang" transition. D-Day 3 am, I had to abort due to not making the final data migration in time, meaning that the switch happened on Valentine's day.

The extended care period, over which we had to fix every single bug and reduce glitches took about two more months. And even though we managed to present the whole thing as complete, oversight and further expansion still take about two days of my week.

Over the duration of the CRM project, I was fully invested in it and still managed to deliver some extras, like helping out with reporting, integrating Windows users repository with chip-based attendance system from late '00s, working with some weird APIs, and administering two servers loaded with devops utilities.

Personal life did not suffer entirely. I dedicated most to spending time with my girlfriend, even managed to marry her during that period. There were some home-improvement activities that needed to be done and a small number of hurried vacations. But all my side-projects and hobbies ended up being on hold.

And that is literally the only thing I regret about the project and, to date, from the whole job change. Now is the time to try and pick up where I left off. Regaining the momentum in writing and video editing will be particularly difficult. My wife wants me to help out with her cosplay, so I have good motivation to return to being crafty again and refresh the experience from when I made a LARP crossbow and melee weapons. Furthering home-improvement is a big desire of mine but cost is an issue nowadays, with rent and utilities being entirely on my shoulders.

And then there are two things that I want to achieve that I failed at for way too long. Obtaining a driver's license (or possibly making my wife get it) and losing weight. The latter, I am working on with the handy calorie tracking app that dine4fit.com is, especially in my current region, and my Garmin watch. We will hopefully go swimming again soon as well. The former is a whole different story surrounded by plenty of trauma that still needs some recovery and obviously the sacrifice of cost and time to complete it.

I believe I have now strongly improved my work-life balance, by far not to what I was used to at the uni, but to a level that should let me do things that I want to do. And I wish to maintain it for a while. Maybe before embarking on yet another mega project, albeit with a much better starting point than the one I had in this case? Who knows.

And about the money, I believe a spike will come eventually, with transition to another employer, most likely. But the longer I am here, the more experience comes my way in doses much greater than those I would get elsewhere if I were to move just now. I'm 28 and if I lose weight and make sure to overcome obstacles of personal nature, I will do better. As for not being a millionaire by the age of 30, I should be able to handle that.

I almost died five years ago, gave up on pursuing my master's, lost the chance to take on the opportunity I had in the Netherlands, and now live where I'd wished, even managed temporarily, to move away from. I do well understand how scarce our time is, but I have to cut myself some slack when others don't (upcoming article "cancer perks"). For what it is, I still rock, don't I?!

[ladyazulina]

✧‧͙⁺˚･ Outside World Adventure ･˚⁺‧͙✧

Main Quest: Go out and come back victorious!

Last time I told you about how I fulfilled Part 1 of 3 of this glorious quest.

Now I will continue with the rest.

Part 2 of 3: Go to the audiologist to change the hearing aids pads.

It doesn't sound so hard, but my sisters ditched me outside the university library.

Yes, they ditched me.

In their defense, they didn't know I had other plans after the first third of this adventure, but even if they had known, I just knew they wouldn't go with me. It's not something that affects them nor something they should be responsible for. If I had let them know earlier, I would have come knowing they would let me alone, which would have made me anxious in advance... and sometimes, the unexpected is what brings people to join.

But it didn't happen this time, so I had to go alone.

From the entrance to the library, I should have gone down toward the south arch and more, but I wasn't in my right mind, so even knowing that wasn't the way I should be going, I went to the east. I only noticed I was going east when I arrived at the east arch (there's one at each point; north -where we come in and my sisters probably went out-, south, east, and west).

I... badmouthed myself and felt like a fool, having to go down the same distance I should have from the library. I imagined my sisters riding the bus that goes around the university, looking at me going on the wrong side and asking me what went wrong, and me answering "I got stupid!" because that was the only logical explanation for me at that moment. I got stupid.

It didn't happen, but that didn't stop me from daydreaming. Like, telling the story to my mom, she asking me the same and I answering the same. It was an awful cycle and an awful feeling. I had to go down a few streets, didn't know how many from that side, and that thought just played again and again no matter that I started panicking because at that height I didn't know what my destined street looked like.

Yes, it should have been easily solved by asking the first person I crossed paths with. But I repeated the question again and again in my head while crossing past people without even opening my mouth. I... was panicking. And I have social anxiety. Getting close to people to ask questions, even if it's for directions, isn't easy for me.

I arrived at the street and, fortunately, I found the courage -in my tiredness- to confirm if that was, indeed, the street I should be on. And it was. Fortunately. So from there I had to take a public car to the audiologist's street. I knew what the stop looked like, I went through that route once with my mom before, but I was alone this time and the panic was trickling.

Azu's first plan was to go to the audiologist's place walking. She had made those lengths at foot before, it was only 3km, but 1) her mom was against it and told her to take the public car, and 2) she had weak ankles in recovery, forcing those muscles wasn't a great idea.

So...

Side Quest #3: Take a public car ✅

I relaxed a bit, trying to look at the few reference points I had in mind, panicking when they didn't appear when I thought they should, asking for a mental break when they did later on, and right away praying to not have a meltdown both for the panic and the heat.

I arrived in one piece, though, and noticed on time when I should get down, though the traffic light and the flow forced me to cross the street from a not-so-safe point. Glad my mom wasn't around, I don't remember the last time I crossed running a street when the light wasn't green for me (not that there was a light for pedestrians, but that street was the kind of street that never stop having car flows, and my mind wasn't registering an option in which I backed down a bit until a safe point under a traffic light or something).

Anyway, I crossed the street, and go up the street for a few buildings, finding my audiologist at the door! He waved, and I laughed (because yeah, I'm just so weird) before waving back. And what did I discover when I get close? There was no power. They had on a power plant for the lights, but not for the AC (I was sweating, I was counting on their AC!), but I went in anyway. What I was there for didn't need any power.

Side Quest #4: Go to the bathroom to refresh a bit ✅

Was very much needed, btw.

It took me thirty minutes to arrive there (yeah, it was so fast! I was surprised when I noticed it, that much panicking and not even that much time!), ten minutes to leave, and-... well, the rest for the next part, shouldn't it?

I felt a bit better and right after getting out (and just after sitting) the audiologist made me go to his office. Took my hearing aids, went to look for new pads, and made the change. Shiftly. Barely 5 minutes in.

I also told him about a problem I was having with the tinnitus therapy's sound, but there was nothing he could do right away with no power, so it got rescheduled. As well as some other details that appeared later that day and the next one and almost every night until today.

In any case, that made Part 2 of 3: Go to the audiologist to change the hearing aids pads ✅

Finish in Part 3.

[kaijime]

watch your mouth

includes. osamu miya x f!reader

cw. corruption kink, virgin reader/first time, osamu wants to breed u <33, dubcon, kitchen sex? [it’s in his shop so?], fingering, pierced dick [prince albert piercing], vaginal penetration, size kink, praise kink, tummy bulge, breeding kink, slight dumbification, creampie, thigh slapping?

wc. 3k

a/n. my piece for @seita’s corrupt-a-virgin collab, thank you for letting me join!!

osamu miya likes to think he follows a strict routine. he wakes up early, shows up for his job, works, and goes home, waiting for tomorrow to arrive and the cycle to repeat itself.

but ever since you've entered his restaurant, you've become a part of his routine.

he sits behind the kitchen counter, watching in admiration how you tend to the customers. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't staring at your ass, but it’s not a lie if he doesn't say it right?

"samu?" there's that nickname again, the one you deemed him ever since that interview for the part time job. "this customer says you forgot to give her a part of her order"

"no i didn't"

"yeah, look" you approach him with the receipt in hand, pointing to a small part of the inked writing. "see?"

he can't see. or at least he can't see the receipt. he's too focused on you, pressing up against him. he knows you're not at fault, but you couldn't be that innocent.

you couldn't be innocent enough to not know the things you were doing to him, the things you were making him feel, the urges that blossomed with every lingering look and longing touch you left on his body. you just couldn't be.

right?

yet, even when his idiotic brother dropped by his shop and shamelessly started flirting with you, you, it seemed like you didn't catch onto what he was doing.

"what's the freakiest place you've ever had sex in?" the fake blond asked, and osamu would've stopped him, if he wasn't curious to hear the answer for himself. still, he doesn't drive his full attention away from the counters he's been wiping, seemingly focused on the simple task.

you chuckled awkwardly under your breath. "that's inappropriate, tsu-"

"c'mon, tell me" he bumps his elbow against yours "can't be that bad"

"no i-... i've never uhm..." osamu can tell you're stumbling and stuttering to find an answer, so he lends you a few helping words.

"'tsumu” he calls "will ya stop harrassin' my employees?"

"'m just talkin' to her samu, no need to make a big fuss" he downs the last of his food and leaves, supposedly in a sudden rush.

it doesn't seem like it’s been hours since then, but the moon hangs low, and the crickets sing outside the window in spite of the late hour. despite the passing of time, not a single word has been said between you and your boss about the conversation you had with his brother, and every minute that passes only seems to thicken the tension between the two of you.

"shit" you mumble, mostly to yourself. you didn’t expect him to shoot up from his place, bent down searching through the lower cabinets.

"watch yer mouth" he says, an evident frown on his face, where he would once smile at you and nod in greeting.

"sorry" you reply, lip pouting slightly while you cleaned off your finger with a paper towel "just got a papercut" the blood tints the paper red and you wince at the stinging sensation.

"here" he holds out his hand to examine yours, even though you already cleaned most of it off, there's still a slight trickle of blood. he wipes it out with the towel he always hangs on his shoulder.

as he cleans your hand, he can't help but think about how it'd look so pretty wrapped around his cock. it would certainly bring more relief than his fist after all this time he's spent thinking about you while stroking himself late at night.

it’s not the first time thoughts like these cloud osamu's mind, but this time he's a little less discreet about it. he stares at your hand like he wants to devour it, and you'd be a fool not to notice it.

"samu?" you call out to his faraway mind, and he snaps out of his thoughs, loosening his grip around your hand.

"right" he mumbles, clearing his throat "sorry"

"thank you" you almost whisper, if he wasn't so close to you, he probably wouldn't have heard it.

he turns and goes back to the cabinets, thinking about what you answered earlier. you'd never what? had sex? were you that uncorrupted?

it would make sense to him, and it would help ease the pain of seeing you let his brother flirt with you like he wasn't even there, but those are all selfish reasons he wants to believe, and he's too scared to ask.

apparently not scared enough.

“what were ya talkin’ about with my brother” he asks, nonchalant as ever, making your breath hitch as you turned around hesitantly.

“we were just chatting” you say, the slightest purse on your lips that tried to relieve the nervousness of the conversation.

“sorry about that” he apologizes. “he can be annoyin’ sometimes”

“oh no, he wasn’t” you lie, clenching around the table cloth you held in your hands. even if the talk had been going smoothly, you still felt on edge after the question his brother left you thinking about. “he was really friendly”

“really?” his hands find comfort in his pockets, and if you’d looked close enough, you would’ve seen the slight smirk in his lip, one that indicates how eager he is to hear what you had to say. “then why didn’ you answer his question?”

if only you knew how much it mattered to him, to know if you were a pretty untouched virgin or not. osamu miya likes to go for girls like you, college girls who look for a quick cashgrab as a part time employee, innocent little girls who unknowingly fall for his charms and next thing you know he’s ruining them with his cock.

but you feel different, you feel delicate. like a pretty piece of porcelain he might break if he continues to toy with you under his calloused hands. yet, he can’t help but think about how perfect he finds your body. perfectly ripe and ready to be filled to the brim with his seed, the perfect age to be plump and round with a child. his child.

“does it matter?”

oh, it does, especially when he pins you against the counter and grips your cheeks between his thumb and his index finger. “samu?” you ask, displaying that innocent look on your face he’d grown to hate.

“i told ya to watch yer mouth” his hands roam down your body until they grab at the back of your thighs. “now jump”

“samu i- i’ve never done anything like-“

“i said jump” hesitant with your actions, you jump and wrap your legs around his waist as he settles you on the shop counter, where he takes off your pants and runs a finger over your clothes slit.

“please” you grip his wrist and beg in hopes for him to stop, but he slaps it away, pinning them behind you with his other hand. he slides your panties down your legs and plays with your clit, circling the nub with his fingertips and watching as your expression changes from one of fear to pleasure.

“please what?” his breath shudders against your neck, where he nuzzles his head and finds comfort in your scent. he slowly inserts a finger into your hole, scanning your face and searching for any signs of discomfort, despite him practically forcing you into this position.

you’re not strong enough to answer him, too lost in the way his fingers feel inside you. you’d been too afraid to do anything by yourself, but god did it feel so good when you gave yourself up to him, slightly bucking your hips into his thrusting fingers and arching your back into his frame.

he’s fond of every little expression you make, the bite of your lips, the clench of your thighs around his hand, and the tilt of your head, willingly granting him access to the skin, all for him to mark, bite and suck. all for him to claim as his.

“d’ya like it?” he asks, putting another one of his fingers to use inside your tight walls, feeling them clench and suck his fingers back inside every time he was close to taking them out.

“yes! yes! i-i... mmh!” you can’t even finish the sentence, not only because you’re sobbing and clenching around his digits uncontrollably at the foreign yet pleasurable sensation, but also because his lips suddenly enclosed yours in a hungry kiss.

he didn’t even have to put up a fight with you, pleased to find you let him do whatever he wanted with your mouth. his tongue tangles with yours in a passionate clash of lips, until he pulls away at the feeling of your hips wildly bucking against his hand, a sign of your inevitable orgasm approaching.

“feels weird ‘samu! ‘s-‘samu please!” the implication of your sensations being new to you made his cock strained against his pants, threatening the thick fabric of his jeans to snap if he grew even harder. the tight knot in your stomach finally snaps when he curls his fingers, sending you into ecstasy as your vision blocked out and you moaned uncontrollably loud.

still, after everything, osamu hasn’t forgotten where he is, and he knows his shop isn’t a decent place to lose your virginity. so he puts you down with shaky legs and slips up your panties, catching you before your trembling thighs can treason you and make you fall.

“do ya have a car here?” he says, grabbing his keys from the counter and puts a hand on your hip, guiding you over to the door which he locks before he continues to walk to his car. the dim lighting of the parking made this the perfect spot, if he were to fuck you in his car, no one would see it. but he has self control, or at least he tells himself that.

“no, my friend usually picks me up” he hums an answer and opens the passenger door to his car.

“i live a few minutes from here” he explains “wanna come over?” he asks, fully aware that he’s taking a leap of faith and you could just refuse him. but that’s not the case, and he’s more than happy to see you hesitantly get in his car and put your bag in your lap, covering yourself as much as you can since he ‘forgot’ to give you back your shorts.

the short ride to his house is awkwardly silent, and terribly torturous. his hand had found home in your thigh, and it had only sent an ache between your legs like you’d never felt before, prompting a clench from your thighs every so often.

he wasn’t lying, he only lived ten minutes away from his shop, but the distance seemed so much longer when his lingering touch would leave you high with the need for more.

“you ready?” he asks, holding the door open for you again as he waits for you to take his hand and get out of his car. he’s quick with hoisting you up and wrapping your thighs against his hips, carrying you to his doorway and leading the way to his room. there, he gently placed you on the bed and stripped off his clothing, taking off the apron he should’ve taken off at the shop, his shirt, his pants and—

“eager?” he can see the wanting look in your eyes, he’d be a fool not to notice it. his voice only startles you out of your thoughts, enough to make you stand up and take off your shirt as well, now fully exposed to him if it weren’t for the bra covering up your tits. there’s only so much he can hold back, but right now, with those pretty puppy eyes you unintentionally give him, he just can’t help it when he takes off your bra and slightly suckles at your nipple, circling his tongue around your perky nub and watching your face warm up in embarrassment.

he takes you to his bed again, this time while he plants kisses all over your neck. he’s hungry with the way he nips and bites at the skin, leaving a trail of teeth marks that would need to be covered up in the morning. in the morning, because right now, you couldn’t be bothered to care about anything else other than the way he rutted against you.

his cock already seemed big when he hadn’t taken off his briefs, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when he slipped them off and rubbed his tip against your clit, right?

he was huge, thick tip dripping precum, with a girth that looked too big to be real, pulsing against your pussy. he positions it against your drooling hole, using your slick to lube up his tip and feeling— metal?

you sit up, leaning against your elbows to see the prince albert piercing that runs along his tip, metal jewelry threatening to slip into your pussy, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“i-it won’t fit!” you kick and shake your thighs around him, only for him to put your ankles together and fold your legs over his shoulder, pinning you down and slipping in the pierced head of his cock. you wince and gasp at the sudden stretch, silenced by his mouth clashing against yours, eagerly nipping at your bottom lip, desperate to drink in all your saccharine moans.

“good girl” he praises, slipping in inch by inch of his cock into your tight virgin walls “fuck- this tight little cunt is suckin’ me in, want ma cock princess? yeah? gonna stuff ya full of me ‘til ya can’t even speak, you’ll just be a dumb baby for me”

“hurts!” your words only drive him closer to shoving himself in one smooth thrust, but he holds back, he sees how much you struggle to take barely half of him, he wants to make this good for you to. he wants to make your first time your best time, the one you’ll remember and think about if you ever fuck another man. he wants to mold your insides to fit his cock perfectly, he wants to train you to be his perfect little girl who won’t find another way to get off if she doesn’t have his cock, he wants you to depend on him to always make you feel good.

“‘s ok princess” he leans down, folding you into a mating press as he kisses your neck and slips in the last of his cock, covered in a thin layer of white sheen. “my good girl, creamin’ around me” he mumbles against your ear while he starts a slow pace into your pussy, carefully rutting his hips into you, almost afraid he would break you. “so pretty”

“please!” you sob, tears stream down your face despite his carefulness, it would break his heart, but he can feel the way your own body betrays you, clenching around him and pulling him in for more of the delicious sensation of his cock dragging against your walls. “so big! c-can’t take it!”

“sure ya can, look” he puts a hand to your tummy, guiding you to do the same as he puts his hand over yours. there’s a small bulge, that appears and disappears whenever he thrusts in and out. “you’re takin’ it so well princess, keep yer hand right there” his other hand starts working tight circles against your clit, making you throw back your head at the sudden sensation.

“no! if you do that i-!”

“what are ya gonna do? cum? clench around my cock like yer doin’ right now every time i praise ya?” you fist the sheets to your sides, anything to relieve the aching between your legs and the tight knot that keeps forming in your stomach again.

“please don’t!” you desperately paw at his wrist, only to be slapped away and for him to increase the speed of his cock, rutting into your with more force. suddenly, the head of his piercing hits a different spot, one that left you gasping for air and arching your back against the mattress. “ah! right there- right there ‘samu!”

“yeah? you like it when i fuck ya right there?” he parrots, angling his hips at the same spot over and over, abusing it until he’s sloppily thrusting into you, on the verge of cumming and spilling all his load into you. “my pretty girl, moanin’ like a bitch in heat, all because i’m makin’ ya feel good”

“yes ‘samu! please please, please m-make me feel good! wanna cum, please!” fresh tears roll down your cheeks as you scream and beg for him, unwillingly rutting your hips against him as you cum around his cock, your high too much for your sensitive body as you whine uncontrollably when he doesn’t stop. you’re too overstimulated to say a word, gone too dumb on his cock to even realize that you’re babbling little nonsense words about how good you feel, and how much you want him.

“dumb lil’ thing” he says, giving one sharp, final thrust before he empties his load between your legs, deep inside you, careful not to move you too much in fear of his cum spilling out of your clenching hole.

he’s right, you are a dumb little thing, because as soon as he pulls out you’re desperately bucking your hips, blindly searching for him in hope he would fill up the sudden emptiness in your pussy, unintentionally spilling all his hard work between your thighs.

“no!” he grunts, slapping your thigh and grounding you to the mattress as you wince in pain, dark color blossoming at the skin where he’d placed the spank. “look what you’ve done, bad fuckin’ girl” he says, the sudden tone shift sends a tinge of fear all over your body, and you’re reduced to nothing but a kin to a stray puppy, a terrible look of guilt in your eyes, even if you don’t realize what you’ve done wrong.

“look at the mess you made” he mumbles, flipping you over and placing ass up “now i’m gonna have to fill ya up all over again”

©️ kaijime 2021 | all content belongs to kaijime, do not modify or repost

[4dtk]

hi hiiii! could i request movie night with doyoung where things start off sweet but then escalate from there?? perhaps with some undertones of switch!doyoung and switch!reader + him being into breathplay and/or hands caressing the other’s neck (both giving and receiving) if possible <33 btw i love your writing!!

thank u for the kind words! big kudos to this pdf i read up about regarding breath play - hope it's okay anon <3

warnings: fingering, oral (m receiving), breeding kink, unprotected sex, breath play (f and m receiving), riding, praise, vaginal penetration

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI.

your giggles are swallowed by doyoung as he playfully lays kisses on your lips, distracting you from the movie that’s currently playing. you can feel the smile on your skin as his lips trail down to your neck, lingering there as he stares daggers at the movie that he put on. it’s almost amusing to see, but you yourself can’t help but get intrigued by the plot that you don’t notice doyoung’s hand curling into the familiar grip he usually has on your thigh.

you sigh softly when his fingers curl around your neck, feeling around the skin there, caressing the soft, newly washed skin with care that you wouldn’t have guessed those same fingers were the ones to send you into oblivion.

just with doyoung’s chest against your back, you can feel your focus on the movie dwindling bit by bit. the longer he sucks hickeys into your neck and muffles your whimpers with his mouth, the harder you’re finding it to keep your vision and head clear to understand why the protagonist had almost killed her significant other. the clarity in your mind is overtaken by your need to have all of your boyfriend on you, pushing up against him even more before your legs widen.

doyoung hums contently, hand on your neck tightening and loosening that gives you the high. he knows where to place his thumb, cutting off and letting you regain your airflow in a dizzying cycle of repetition. “like that, huh?” you nod against his hand which continues to do just that, the movie becoming mere background noise at this point. with his other, he trails it down to your already spread legs, slipping in between your loose shorts that hardly hid your underwear.

it was a wonder the other members hadn’t mentioned anything yet.

“three seconds, baby, you ready? you know our safe word?” doyoung mumbles in your neck, putting light kisses onto the skin there. gently, his stubborn finger only draws light circles against your pulsating clit, teasing the bundle of nerves under the fabric which already had a dark, wet patch. a chorus of mhm’s and yea’s escape your lips, under the guise of pleasure from his hands alone.

all at once, you gasp upon the immense pressure his fingers apply to your clit, ministrations increasing tenfold while he held your carotids under the pads of his digits for the time he promised. your breaths come out short, a strangled moan escaping once the oxygen rushes back to your brain like a drug, praise falling from doyoung’s lips only spiral you further into his grasp. it’s not that you’d mind.

“good girl,” doyoung grins, rewarding you with a sweet kiss. the movie’s definitely forgotten now, the faint reflection of the laptop showing the filthy way your panties soak through more and more with each move of his fingers. within a swift second, your underwear is swiped to the side to accommodate his fingers where he slips his middle finger in loosely. the other wraps around your tit, where your nipples poke through your shirt — perked up and perfect all for him.

you hum lowly into his embrace, wrapped up all in him that you melt more and more into how his fingers sink into you, collecting your slick as he pumps his hand slowly. you’re not all that impatient, but you could do better with him speeding up a little. “hand sore?” there’s a smirk against your shoulder before he thrusts a little roughly into your sopping cunt, drawing out a lewd mewl from your throat. the torture continues on, where you can hear yourself, the sounds practically bouncing off the small room of the dorms.

“c’mon honey, taste yourself on my fingers.”

you obediently open your mouth, masking your disappointment at the emptiness while taking his finger into your mouth that’s wet from your arousal. everything’s incredibly slow and intimate and gentle, like how doyoung… sometimes is. you can’t get this new version of him out of your head, though, tender in his touches, but sultry in his words.

you can compare it to the maple syrup you had this morning, to the sugary kisses you shared in the bathroom, or even the tempting bead of pre-cum leaking from his tip. the taste wasn’t so much, but you didn’t mind the liquid lingering on your tongue. your own pleasure’s put to the side when you’d pulled down his briefs earlier, ignoring the throbbing need to be touched. you couldn’t just leave your baby hanging, anyway.

“hhaah... fuuuck…” your tongue swirls around his tip like a lollipop, providing just the tease that he’s done to you before. slowly, you lower your mouth onto his length which prompts a hand to shoot up to your head of hair, clutching onto it to guide your head up and down. you let doyoung control the pace, who can’t help but call your name like a prayer as your cavern sucks him in so well just like your cunt does.

hands wandering seem to be the standard for you, tangling in his hair when you’re locking lips. travelling over his stomach when your cuddling. even now, you can’t keep your hands locked in one place, going over his thighs in sensual circles that’s interrupted by the waist band of his briefs. you don’t mind, relaxing your jaw to take in more of him until his cock meets the back of your throat.

doyoung groans at that. a switch goes off in him — he decides that he can’t wait to feel you around him, beckoning with a tilt of head.

“bet you’re still tight, even though we fucked this afternoon.” you giggle at that, waiting for him to shrug off the last of his briefs before sinking down onto him with ease with a spread of your pussy lips. even with your juices, you can’t help but let out a whine at the satisfying stretch, before you start rocking your hips.

he takes the back seat, an arm behind his head while the other holds your hips, squeezing the meat of your ass. your hands are ambitious again, travelling up the expanse of his slim, pale body before they land on his neck. the tables aren’t turned over entirely, but you know what doyoung gives, he likes to receive it too. locating his carotids like he’s taught you, your thumb presses mildly onto the side of his neck.

“that feel good?” his mewls are all you can make out.

doyoung’s eyes roll back and you almost halt your hips for a moment to enjoy to sight, but the way his dick moves against your gummy walls is just too gratifying that you can’t bring yourself to stop. you’re mindful of the lewd noises coming from in between your thighs, although it only fuels your need to feel him drilling into you faster, and so you’re taking the reigns, setting the pace.

there’s the continuous routine of grind, squeeze, whine that it comes natural to you after a few times, although the last one didn’t really matter in that intoxicating cycle. “god, your cock feels so good- shit…” doyoung’s whimpers only spur you on, with the constant release and cut-off of oxygen that provides him with the unexpected jerk of his hips. soon you’re meeting his hips with yours.

“should i c-cum in you? wanna be… ahn- full of my cum?” doyoung manages to get out through the blur of pleasure, eyes fixating on the way your mouth drips with drool and his pre-cum. you’re filled up to the brim, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix that you shiver against his thighs. “you’re not- fuck- answering me baby,” the hand on his neck goes limp as the knot in your stomach tightens and tightens, barely answering his question with a pathetic nod.

“yes… yes, please-“ you’re not even sure what you’re begging for at this point but you can’t complain when doyoung spills his seed deep into your pussy, filling you up even when his thrusts turn sloppy. he fucks you thoroughly, bringing on your own orgasm as you convulse around him, twitching violently on his cock while your throat suffers from the last bit of your needy moans.

the sensitivity hurts, but you still find yourself letting a choked moan escape when doyoung snaps his hips back into your clenching hole that makes a satisfying pap!, stuffing the cum that’s leaking back into you. “you did so well.” you smile weakly; the words has both your heart and pussy fluttering at the praise, knowing you’re in for another round when he flips you over with newfound strength. “but now i’ll take over.”

[chemicalpink]

Tied Desires ♡ Kim Taehyung x Reader

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: smut (at this point, do i ever write something else?) 

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: rope bunny, soft bdsm dynamic, brat reader, a bit of findom in there, soft dom tae

A/N: this was- a wild ride. A humongous thanks to @erotikkook for coming up with the name and the banner (support Cay’s work or else) AND to the amazing people that beta this @taegularities and @sugasbabiie​ you guys are amazing, I’m sorry you had to see first hand that I write my stuff without punctuation, my mother has always held that against me. Side note, I’m behind in like 20+ assignments from law school and I decided to prioritise this fic. Don’t do that kids.

Summary: Perhaps teasing Taehyung back could get you in deep trouble. It’s not like it wasn’t exactly what you were wishing for tho.

There had always been something so cathartic and almost therapeutic about the arrangement you had with Taehyung; while most of your relationship consisted of sweet glances, funny selcas on social media and the occasional brunch date being photographed to the public eye, the dynamic was turned upside down behind closed doors, lights barely on, the warmth that was brought upon your bodies as you feverishly made out as soon as the entrance door was closed. It was, of course, such a weird occurrence as Taehyung’s job kept piling up. However, lately, his usual playful teasing had turned into full bedroom eyes whenever there was a camera directed at him, the same bedroom eyes and attitude that had been reserved only for you to see for so long; of course something was bound to go down with it.

“Would you like us to get those inside your car?” the lady at the register said as you made sure to place the credit card back into your purse that Taehyung had given you once as an extension to his..

You smiled and nodded at her, stealing a quick glance at the dozen boxes that were scattered around the lobby of the store, most of them being really unnecessary things. But they would serve a common purpose: riling Taehyung up.

Once the boxes were secured in the back of the van, and you had asked Taehyung’s driver to head home for the day. as if on clockwork, your phone dinged a notification of an incoming text, Taehyung’s. Attached to it, and very prominently so, was a recent screenshot of a notification from his bank, asking him to verify his most recent purchase: ₩ 7,000,000 in a single exhibition from Gucci, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, anticipating his next message.

From: Taehyung [14:23] did you just buy 7 million won worth of gucci???  From: Taehyung [14:30] wait up To: Taehyung [14:32] only if you ask nicely 🤪 From: Taehyung [14:32] Y/N….

After making sure to look as close to Tae’s wettest dream as possible, white lingerie on, main bedroom lit only thanks to the subtly warm light coming out of the bathroom, you fixed yourself onto the bed, scrolling through whatever social media, waiting for Taehyung to come home. And he did. Earlier than any other time in the past month, silently making his way to the bedroom.

A dominant aura surrounded him, the exact same one you were hoping to bring out. He licked his lips over and over a few times as he seemed to contemplate you laying there on his bed ready for him, to which you could only stare back at him as he loosened the first few buttons from his shirt, deciding to turn his eyes to the floor where the dozen boxes laid untouched.

You sat up on the bed, hands on your lap, a teasing smile shooting towards your boyfriend as he pulled at some of the ribbons that decorated the black and white containers. Taehyung exhaled loudly, not exasperated, but definitely preparing himself for a punishment you were so loudly asking for. He raised an eyebrow at you as he asked, “You did this to catch my attention, then?”

“Why?” you said, smiling teasingly at him, unable to help it. “Did it work?”

Something feral crossed Taehyung’s eyes before he had one hand wrapped around the back of your neck, hovering over you as his loose hair strands covered his sight almost entirely, adding to his dominating low tone as his grip tightened almost painfully tugging at the roots of your hair. “Oh, so now you think you get to tease me, Y/N?”

He released you from his grip, a smile creeping up to his face as he heard you whimper at the loss of proximity.

“You don’t get to unnecessarily spend my money without having to face consequences, Y/N”, Taehyung said as he went back to the boxes, carefully picking out all of the cloth around each of them until there was a dozen of them on his hand. Your heart thumped violently against your chest in excitement and anticipation when he ordered, “Lay back down Y/N, legs up and open. I wanna hear you beg for me.”

Taehyung resorted to leaning against the vanity that faced the bed directly, the light from the bathroom beside it dimly illuminating the dark composure he adopted as he caressed the bunch of black material he had in his hands. You had always been a big fan of the way he seemed to never lose control once he was in the zone, how he was so seemingly unaffected at having you on full display. Completely at his mercy. 

“What are you waiting for? Panties aside, touch yourself, I wanna hear you scream.” 

Your hand was quick to pull the already sticky lacey cloth aside, biting your lips as the sensation had you already clenching around nothing, just from having Taehyung’s stare burning through you. You wetted your fingers as you caressed your folds, one elbow propping you up enough to have a somewhat clear view of your boyfriend staring back at you.

You rubbed your clit a few times, a moan escaping your lips as you threw your head back in pleasure. Grinding your hips into your hand, you rubbed yourself with the flats of four of your fingers, in an effort to increase the much needed friction as you felt yourself get wetter.

“Were you really that desperate for me, baby?” Tae’s tone was borderline mocking as he smirked to himself, barely sparing a glance at you whining on the bed; out of the corner of your eye you could see him tying up the black ribbons to one another. Feeling something stirring on your lower belly, you pinched your clit in an effort to ride out your orgasm, which was quickly cut off when Tae’s hand pushed yours out of the way as you felt your eyes prickling with tears at the sudden loss of pleasure. “Naughty girls don’t get to come so fast, Y/N.”

Taehyung’s fingers lightly caressed your folds, coating them with your wetness before he slipped them into his mouth teasingly, tasting you on his tongue for a brief second before he had you sitting on your feet, hands in your lap again as he took the homemade rope he had knotted while you’d touched yourself.

“Tonight’s safeword is gucci.” He glanced for the uptenth time at the unopened packages. “Bet you won’t forget that one.”

He moved to sit right in front of you, shirt sleeves around the mid of his arms as he took both of your wrists in his hand and started wrapping the silky material around them, binding them together.

“Put your hands behind your head, baby,” Taehyung said, continuing to wrap the rope expertly around your body, restricting most movements without hurting you too much. “Bend over a bit.” His fingers caressed your perked nipples almost unintentionally as he brought the tied ribbons to the front, face perfectly calm and concentrated as he made sure to frame your breasts with the material before bringing it down your waist and back once again. “Perfect. How do you feel?”

“Good.” You would’ve been lying if you’d said that you weren’t at least a little bit excited and nervous after going so long without one of your sessions with Tae, but at the end of the day, you knew there was no one else in the world you could leave your body at their entire mercy other than him. The rope was wrapped around your hips in no time, thighs stuck together as he manhandled you onto your knees. You were unable to hold yourself up, face against the mattress, ass up and completely exposed to him as he finished his work and stood back to appreciate it.

“The teasing game is one you can’t win against me, Y/N,” he said as his hands continued the work you had begun a few minutes prior to being completely tied up, lewd noises echoing against the walls as he wasted no time in inserting a couple of fingers into your cunt, a loud moan slipping past your lips. “You’re free to try, but you’ll end up like this every single time.”

He continued to work your orgasm up until he could feel you clenching down on his fingers, thighs trembling in anticipation before a low laugh bubbled up from his throat as he removed his hands from you. He left you whimpering against his sheets every time like a vicious cycle, tears running down your cheeks as you couldn’t even slightly move to relieve the pain that having him denying you orgasms for four times gave you.

“Aww look at you, so prettily ruined for me, Y/N.” His fingers had started to build up a turmoil in your lower abdomen once again as he methodically caressed your folds before thrusting two fingers into you lazily in favour of holding a conversation. “I guess I could let you cum this one time. Seven million won is really nothing, I keep that money as spare change.”

“Y-yes please, Tae.” Your pleasure built up faster than before as Taehyung leaned down to mouth at your folds, warm tongue working circles around your bud and fingers working you through the greatest orgasm you could ever ask for. The slurping noises took over the sound of your rigged breath and heavy whimpers as you came on his tongue, him moaning against you as your thighs spasmed violently. You could feel your eyes closing against your will, body and mind overcome with tiredness, yet somehow hazy and feeling like floating from being deprived of such activities for so long.

In the background you could hear Taehyung fiddling with the drawer of his bedside table before he cut the most restrictive parts of the rope around your wrists and thighs. “Did I hurt you?” His soft persona was back as he peppered your face with kisses, fingers wiping your tears away before he cut the rest of the silky ribbon, hands immediately massaging your tender skin.

“Not really, I missed that actually. I missed you.”

His face softened as he took your face between his hands, pouring all of his love in a kiss, an apology and a love letter at the same time as his mouth moved in sync with your own. “I’ll run you a bath and then we can order takeout. You’ll have to share your newly renovated and exclusively Gucci wardrobe though.” 

You nodded slightly at him while already having your head resting on the pillow, sleep taking over you as you faintly heard your boyfriend running the water to fill up the bathtub for you. 

[cyberball]

UNO!

leo x reader | no pronouns | requested

warnings: none? idk leo's nose bursts into fire, lots of mutual pining, lots of cheese and fluff. also anon I'm so so so so so SO sorry if this isn't what you wanted,, i love getting carried away but uhm, yeah! so insanely sorry

summary: reader and leo are best friends. they're playing Uno! one day when one thing leads to another and they end up kissing omg

genre: fluff i think, best friends to lovers

21:01 | 669 words (Aha lol)

“What would you do if we were like.. an item?” Leo blurted out. I narrowed my eyes as he put down a Blue 4 card.

“We’re not objects, Leo.” I snickered and put down a Plus 4 card. Leo didn’t look too happy about that. He actually looked defeated, which I laughed about.

“You’re evil. Evil, Y/N!” he grumbled. I laughed some more, of course.

He scoffed and took his four cards from the deck. “I straight-up hate you,” he commented again when I pointed out that he took only three cards.

“Sure, you do,” I sang. That made him laugh, which in turn made my heart melt.

Too cheesy.

Soon, Leo had about 5 cards left. I put down my third-to-last card, which was a plus-four. Leo said exactly what I was thinking, “You love to torture me, don’t you?” I only nodded to that.

“Well, this means the game is over,” I said, smiling. “What? No! I have a-” He didn’t have anything. Of course. I would know, I peeked at his cards earlier.

Whoops.

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. It was supposed to be intimidating, but I accidentally fell more in love with the boy.

I sighed, laying my head on his chest. He shut up after that.

I could hear his heartbeat: it was faint, almost miles away, but still so close to me; it wasn’t invading my thoughts but being so close to him put me at ease.

I looked up at him. His face was calm, maybe the type of calm before a storm.

I sat up and stared at him for a few more moments, and kissed him on the cheek.

A familiar rose-colored blanket spread across his face. My lips unconsciously twisted into a smile. “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now?” I teased. The rose color turned into a deeper shade of red. I smiled harder.

“What? Me? Blushing? Y/N, you must be out of your mind. I don’t blush. I,” He ran a hand through his hair. It was adorable how he was stressing out about this.

“It’s the weather! My face is red because it’s so hot,” He finished. I laughed, “Leo, it’s the middle of October. Are you okay? Do we need to get to the infirmary?” I asked, tracing the outline of his hand. He always seemed to be happy when I did that. I think this time he was too happy; his nose burst into flames.

“Easy,” . He smiled, and my heart melted. It’s a continuous cycle, really.

After the flames calmed down, we sat in each other’s embrace. By now, I would’ve told him that I liked him. But I couldn’t bring myself to reveal that. He was my best friend, and although I never hid anything from him, I couldn’t risk all that we’ve been through, all the moments we shared, the trust we built, the comfort I know we both found in each other.

A few fleeting moments passed. I linked my right hand’s pinky to his left pinky. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him move forward, to just sit back again; he hesitated to speak too.

“Y/N?” he asked in the calmest voice I’ve ever heard from him. Cue fluttery-dreamy feeling which makes me feel like I'm in heaven.

I turned my head towards him. And I could go on forever about how happy he made me feel, but he made my brain and all parts of me malfunction by leaning in and kissing me.

I could barely feel his lips because he pulled away as soon as he came in contact with me, but the small taste I got was enough to turn the butterflies in my stomach to violent rats.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Leo squealed. My lips stuck out in a pout. “Why would you apologize?”

I didn’t give him enough time to answer. I pulled him by the collar and finally got to kiss back.

i know i used a non-Uno cards gif but shhh

tagging: @drvrslcense @chasingpj @quteez @pad-foots

if you wanna be tagged, send an ask!

[ahsokryze]

Febuwhump day 16

“does that hurt?”

read on ao3

When Ahsoka starts suffering from extremely painful cramps, Anakin begins to suspect that there is something more serious going on than she thinks.

- - -

The first time Ahsoka complained about her stomach hurting was earlier this morning, when Anakin had walked into the living space of their shared quarters to find his Padawan hunched over in her chair while eating breakfast, arms tightly folded around her abdomen. Anakin had gone over to ask if she was alright, but Ahsoka had only said it was just cramps, so he let her be for the time being, bringing her some painkillers and heating up her hot water bottle for her.

The second time Ahsoka complained about her stomach hurting was around lunchtime, when she woke up from a nap, groaning with a wince, after falling asleep on the couch when they were watching a holomovie together. That time, Anakin's concern increased; he knew that Ahsoka had been on her period for the last week, but he thought that it would've been over by now—not that he would really know—but still, it just seemed a little strange that she was still having such bad cramps at this point. When he asked her about that, Ahsoka said that it can sometimes last longer than normal, something to do with irregular cycles, so it was nothing to worry about. And Anakin did feel his concern lessen slightly at that, though he still couldn't shake the growing feeling that something wasn't right about this.

And right now, as Anakin walks into the living space to see Ahsoka curled up in a ball on the floor, moaning in pain, he knows right then and there that there's definitely something wrong here.

“Ahsoka,” he says, dropping to his knees beside his Padawan and placing a gentle hand on her back. Ahsoka only curls up tighter into her little ball, letting out a whine. “Hey, Snips, I really think we should go to the healers. This can’t be normal.”

“No,” Ahsoka whimpers, “It’s just… just cramps.”

“Snips, this is more than just cramps. You really shouldn’t be in this much pain,” he says, wiping away the sweat that’s beading across Ahsoka’s forehead. “Listen, I know i’m not exactly an expert with this kind of stuff, but i’m going with my gut which is telling me that there is something else going on here.”

continue reading

[demonslayedher]

Currently having a crisis over how Keizo and Koyuki died bc the dojo next door tried to hide their killing intent by poisoning their water well, while Akaza died (or rather willed himself to die) when he fought two water breath users, one of which used Transparent World to hide his killing intent. Thoughts? (or any thoughts on akaza really)

I realize the crisis may be over by now for it has taken me so long to respond to this Ask. u_u;; While thinking about it in terms of battle mechanics I initially saw this in pretty basic terms—in the Taisho Secrets, we know that the heir to the neighboring dojo had a personal vendetta and hearing about Hakuji and Koyuki’s engagement set him off, and it seems it was a pretty purposeful wait for Hakuji to be absent so they’d have the chance to poison the well. Rather than hiding killing intent, which Hakuji would have only had a normal human martial artist’s aptitude for detecting, it was probably more a tactical matter of avoiding being seen. Hakuji was a protector, though, he might have been especially sensitive to threats to those he loves, and this may be why he gained such a keen ability for sensing these things once he becomes a demon. He was clearly taken by surprise by Tanjiro’s sudden ability not to emit a Battle Sense at all, which spelled a big part of his undoing.

But that’s not actually what killed him, and my thoughts have gone more into how Akaza willed himself to die. This is one of the very, very rare moments in his existence when he’s gotten to act on his own will and decisions. While he only underwent punishments when he was caught for robbery as opposed to being locked up in a prison, he was usually imprisoned in more metaphorical ways.

Being poor wasn’t a choice, but young Hakuji was willing to undergo anything as long as it was for his father. However, his father’s suicide was a denial of those choices. He stripped Hakuji of what meaning he thought his life was supposed to have, forcing him to live differently—as in, to not commit crimes for the sake of his dying father.

Though it no longer carried meaning, Hakuji continued living a criminal life, accepting that he was an “oni child” like he was always called, until Keizo overpowered him and made a decision for him, that Hakuji should be reformed. Furthermore, since Keizo was much stronger, Hakuji couldn’t argue with being put to work as Koyuki’s caretaker. Hakuji did settle happily into this life, he wasn’t exactly looking for freedom from it or anything like that, and his criminal markings were already going to limit a lot of his potential in life.

Being used to not having much say in the course his life takes, due to poverty or criminal history or simply being weaker than Keizo, following the course that others set for him doesn’t cause him much anguish because that is the norm. However, a stunning thing happens one day when Keizo gives him a choice. Would he like to marry Koyuki and inherit the dojo?

Hakuji never imagined he’d be faced with such a proposition. By the text he’s more stunned that they could be so welcoming to a criminal like him and that Koyuki would ever love someone like him, but by Koyuki’s reactions we see that she’s nervous that he’ll reject her, and she and Keizo are hugely relieved when he accepts. Hakuji has the choice fully within his power, to take that as his life’s course or reject it.

Unfortunately, sometimes choices continue to be taken away against your will. Hakuji goes into “mad dog” mode again after losing those he’s sworn to protect, and then even Muzan turns him into a demon, there was no proposition. Hakuji was in the process of telling him to get lost when Muzan stabbed him with his cells curiously wondered if Hakuji would have what it takes to survive it. There was no asking if he wanted to be a demon, and although Hakuji quickly gave up because he just didn’t care anymore, he had zero opportunity to say “no, I would rather remain a human and atone for failing to protect the people I love, and then staining their reputation by using my fists to kill people.”

Being a demon and training, for Akaza, is like when he’d go ballistic after losing his loved ones. It’s like a self-numbing behavior, and with only this desire to be strong to replace every painful memory, it’s no wonder he got obsessed. It’s not as if he could talk back to Muzan if he wanted, he continues following the course someone else set him on. Muzan lets him do as he pleases to some extent, but Akaza is still ultimately under Muzan’s thumb.

(We could dive into this lack of choice a little more by poking fun at Akaza for how everyone he proposes demonhood to says “no” while Kokushibo and Douma seem to have to trouble at convincing anyone. Haha, poor Akaza. But that’s perhaps pushing this a bit.)

Akaza does have willpower. It’s very strong, and he’s used it to hone himself this whole time, for lack of being able to do anything else with it, really. No goal to strive for, no one to use his strength to protect, being strong is only for the sake of training and getting stronger still. It’s telling that the effect of his willpower against himself is so strong that he can convince his flesh to repair itself even with his head gone, but he finally starts to crumble once he’s faced with how hollow that cycle is.

And what started it that crumbling process?

Giyuu’s declaration about protecting Tanjiro. There was a little earlier interruption from Keizo due to Tanjiro saying familiar things, but this is the point at which Akaza’s memories really start to climb their way back in, and the whole cascade starts flowing once Koyuki presses and presses him about W H Y he’s so insistent about being strong: it’s so that he can bring medicine home to his father, duh.

Even as he’s seeing all the flashbacks, he’s still trying to distance himself from them, call them stupid, he refuses to be weak, he’s even mostly built his head back until Tanjiro forces more memories of Keizo back at him, sending him back to a moment when he was given a chance to be reborn.

This is when Akaza finally realizes that the person he’s wanted to defeat all this time was himself, the guy who failed to live up to his father’s wishes, and who sullied Keizo’s teachings by using his “protecting fists” to murder people.

And this is the “aha” moment when Akaza chooses to free himself.

It’s not a matter of committing suicide out of shame, but of accepting his comeuppance. He accepts that he was defeated fairly the moment Tanjiro caught him off-guard earlier and sliced off his head, and he wants to face hell with some amount of bravery and pride.

Muzan does tempt him to stay and still prove how strong he can be, but in the end, Akaza takes his destiny into his own hands, and makes the choice to go with Koyuki.

[valhallanrose]

The Red Plague

The art above was created by Nix Hydra, and can be found in the Minor Arcana Art Book (or where I got it - off the fandom wiki page, because who’s going to stop me)

Much of Zelda’s story in the non-apprentice timeline delves into the plague before, during, and in the aftermath of Vesuvia, and I wanted to compile my lore and headcanons for it in one place before I delve into her story fully. I will incorporate as much canon as possible, but given that that isn’t a large amount of info, a lot of this is based off research and personal worldbuilding. 

CWs for discussions of disease, death, body horror, I guess spoilers but I’m surprised if it is for anyone considering how the info is everywhere in game in all routes. This is also, again, personal headcanon and I don’t expect it to fall in line with everyone’s thoughts on the plague.

The Timeline

I’m going to go with a comprehensive timeline first, and this part is all based on canon information. I’ll try and provide as many sources as I can as well, but some of this is pulled from multiple books and I might forget exactly where something came from. 

As we learn in the Lucio tale, Dawn of the Grub, Lucio strikes up a deal with the wyrm of pestilence (Vlastomil) - his parents’ hearts in exchange for a disease that will allow Lucio to kill them both. The Lucio brought the disease back to the tribe, which weakened his father enough for Lucio to kill him. His mother Morga, however, fights off the disease, referring to it as a ‘summer cold’, and Lucio flees the tribe and joins a traveling mercenary band which allows the plague to spread. 

I don’t have a particular reason why Morga would have survived the plague. Her sprites in the game never show any sign of the plague that are generally acknowledged - no red sclera, no veins, no signs of weakness, so on and so forth. The best theory I can posit is that Morga either genuinely had a summer cold, or that the plague only took hold in Lutz rather than them both. Either way, unsatisfying, but we’re going to call Morga the exception and not the rule. 

Because Lucio did not fulfill his end of the bargain with Vlastomil, the plague continued to spread, following Lucio as he traveled the continent. This is also the point where the beetles appear - more on them later. 

The implication in the game is that the disease reached other countries and areas, but the next canon mention of the Red Plague’s spread occurs in Portia’s route, book X - Wheel of Fortune. A map is discussed where dates, places, and sightings of the plague are noted by Julian in his study of the plague - the Painted Fields, Blue Mountain Ridge, and Annyala Gate are all names that arise. 

Nasmira recognizes the name of Annyala Gate and points out that Nazali was at that battle, in which a band of mercenaries was sighted - and their leader needed an arm amputated, which is confirmed to be Lucio. Nadia states that Lucio came to Vesuvia not long after that battle, and the next time the Plague was seen was in Vesuvia. 

It is never seen again outside Vesuvia, and this brings us to the three years before the game, where Lucio’s ‘death’ heralds the end of the plague, and it is never seen actively again in the Arcana world. 

The headcanons I have are to help establish a solid timeline. Dawn of the Grub tells us the deal is made on Lucio’s 18th birthday, and I personally believe that Lucio’s death occurred on his 40th birthday, giving us about 22 years of time for us to work with for the spread of the plague. 

Some more headcanons mixed with canon:

Lucio is newly titled Count in the tale Travel at Night. Based on personal age headcanons, this tale probably occurs at minimum 17 to 18 years pre-canon, putting Asra at (at most) 10/11, Muriel at 14/15, and Lucio at a startling 22/23. It could occur later, as art style can influence perspective on age, but Muriel and Asra really don’t feel like they could be much older than that. 

During his mercenary days (sometime between the ages of 18 and 22/23) Lucio was contracted by the former Count of Vesuvia, Count Spada. This battle occurs at Annyala, mentioned above, and is the battle where Lucio 

At a certain point, Lucio was contracted by the Count of Vesuvia at the time, Count Spada, for a battle where he "made a name for himself." Story implications indicate that this was the battle during which he lost his left arm. It was amputated by Julian to prevent his death from blood loss. After he won the battle for Count Spada, he became friends with the Count and privy to secrets about Vesuvia and the Palace. Spada would eventually name Lucio his heir, and upon his death, Lucio earned rulership of Vesuvia. 

The plague eventually appears and ravages Vesuvia’s population

Plague patients are sent to the Lazaret away from the city and cremated, then scattered on the beach. 

Lucio contracts the plague and defies the average lifespan of those who contracted it by lasting a few months rather than 3-10 days.

Lucio dies on his birthday, not of the plague but as a result of the ritual he was attempting to gain a new body.

I tried to map most of that out here, and wow, what a sad little diagram. Nix Hydra, y’all are cowards for not going hard on this. I, however, am not, and I am about to go more apeshit than I already have. 

The Spread

Cracking my knuckles on the history degree, baby, I’m borrowing some real life inspiration from across multiple time periods to tie all this together. 

I personally think the whole “Oh, the plague arrives wherever Lucio goes and disappears when he leaves” thing is a copout, and we’re drop kicking that out a window. 

I do believe, as canon states, that the plague follows Lucio. It spreads obviously to regions he visits, but I don’t think it just disappears when he leaves. I really, really want to believe someone would have been smart enough to see the connection if the plague suddenly appeared and was later yoinked out of existence as soon as Lucio left town every single time it cropped up somewhere way sooner than it was noticed in canon. 

I don’t think the plague was as isolated as the game implies, and when it was in Vesuvia, it was probably also elsewhere. The epicenter was Lucio, of course, so Vesuvia faced the worst of it, but I think there would have been pockets with much smaller numbers in other parts of the world. 

Earlier I mentioned a few locations cited in Portia’s route as to where the plague had been before Vesuvia - the Painted Fields, Blue Mountain Ridge, and Annyala Gate. I think once these areas were hit with the plague, it would have continued to spread even after Lucio left. Across multiple routes, it’s made clear that the only ‘cure’ to the plague is Lucio’s death, which is why Julian had intended to kill Lucio after making his deal with the Hanged Man. The lack of Lucio’s presence would have kept the plague from continuing to escalate, but in these regions, it probably would have spread when the region’s people attempted to relocate, or ceased when the population died out. 

Annyala Gate, or the Great Gate, is a location I can dive a little deeper into. It’s the last location the plague was sighted before Vesuvia, and because it ties into my OC Zelda’s storyline, I have many a thought. 

Lucio is in Annyala sometime between year 1 and year 4/5, though I believe it’s on the later end of that spectrum, so let’s say year 4 to clearly predate his title as heir to Vesuvia. For reference, here is a map of the Great Gate as provided by the art book: 

Jeebus. Terrible photo quality. Ah, well, on we go. 

The Great Gate is situated between the Sea of Persephia (left) and the Salty Sea (right), and as the map currently stands, is the only point on land that gives access to the southern part of the world map. In this area in particular, I feel like a number of factors would have kept the plague alive long after Lucio left. 

Narrowest point on the world map for transport of goods between ports and seas, which would be a more efficient route than traveling around the continent to reach the same point

As previously stated, this is the only known access point to the south, and travelers heading through this area could possibly be carriers of the plague or catch the plague from the area 

The only way for the plague to stop would be with the death of Lucio, so once it was inflicted upon this area, it continued to spread and infect the population in adjoining areas 

The game repeatedly has emphasized the proximity of the Red Beetles (known harbingers of the plague) to water, such as the Nopali village in Asra’s route and the red stains attributed to them in Julian’s route, and we receive further confirmation in Portia’s route that the water supplies are contaminated during the period of the disease

Fun bit of trivia from Nadia’s route - in the Strength book, Nadia mentions that she remembers the beetles, and that once they had been used as part of a pigment used to dye fabric crimson, which was all the rage in Vesuvia. Should this trend have continued, people wearing fabrics dyed with this beetle pigment most likely would become infected, and thus, the cycle continued. 

I will also point out here that pigments have been used in makeup across history, and I’m sure applying some beetle-laden makeup would have really fucked some people up. Eyeshadows, blushes, lipsticks...contact with any of these areas, particularly the eyes and mouth, indicate a possibility of infection. 

This does, however, leave a fifteen year (ish) period where the plague would have been active in this region until Lucio’s death. Historically, diseases can last such broad swathes of time. For the sake of displaying precedent, I will point out some examples here:

The Black Death, lasting 1346-1353

The third cholera pandemic, lasting 1846-1860

The third plague pandemic, a major bubonic plague like the Black Death, lasting 1855-1960

The HIV/AIDS pandemic, which has been ongoing since 1981 in the US

However, some of the most devastating plagues have lasted only a few years, which I will touch on later when I discuss Vesuvia’s case of the plague. All of the diseases listed above are additionally categorized with death tolls over a million people.

(On a side note, if you would like to contribute to programs searching for a cure for HIV/AIDS, I will suggest donating to organizations like amfAR, the Black AIDS Institute, or the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, all of which are linked accordingly and deserve your support if you are capable of making a  contribution)

Remaining question: if the last place the plague was seen was in Annyala, more than fifteen years before it was seen in Vesuvia, what the fuck happened during that time beforehand?

Vesuvia - Before the Plague

Here’s the thing. The timeline given by the devs is a fucking mess. So, what I’m going to propose here is almost entirely theory, and I ask that you keep that in mind. 

Lucio ascends to the title of Count by the time he’s about 22 or 23. Spada dies, presumably, and there’s no noticeable mention of his death via plague or the establishment of the court. 

For some fascinating lore on how the government in Vesuvia works, I’m going to point you to this post by @sunrisenfool​, who has one of the biggest brains and is gracious enough to allow me to reference their work a little for this one. 

I don’t think the court as we know it existed when Lucio became Count. I agree with sunrisenfool here that Valdemar has been the Palace’s cockroach for a while - which was actually also confirmed in the Star book of Portia’s route, in which we see Count Prospero (founder of Vesuvia) summon Valdemar and ask for their aid in creating a city that will never die. The remaining courtiers would be gradually established as time continued on, all demons who struck bargains with the Devil in one form or another placed into positions of power alongside Lucio. We also cannot forget Valerius, who made his own deal with the Devil, and played his own role in this scenario.

We know that Lucio was also a pawn, later on, in the Devil’s agenda to bridge the gap between the main world and the Arcane realms. The ritual discussed in Portia’s Star book is described as a vessel to do just that - 

“...every 777 years, the physical and magical world will collide...the laws of magic will no longer be immutable, and the world will bend to our will...So long as the Countship and canals remain whole, so shall the power to reshape the world. You need only await the conjunction. Perform the ritual and lead the city to glory heretofore unknown. I, Count Prospero, first of my line, declare the founding of Vesuvia. The city eternal. My legacy.” - Count Prospero

It’s confirmed after this scene that the ritual, using the canals as a conduit, opened a ‘door’ so to speak to the Arcane realms. It’s also said there is a three year window to perform this ritual, and that at the time of game canon, we are at the end of that three year window. 

So. Borderline conspiracy time. 

Circling back to the lovely sunrisenfool’s work, I’m going to pull a particular excerpt here:

...the Consul of Vesuvia is the second most important/powerful political figure in Vesuvia, directly after the Count/ess. Aside of the political and civic duties I have already explained, the Consul acts as a “protector” of Vesuvia, albeit not in a paternalistic politically-conservative way (which is how paternalistic policies would be understood in our world). Instead, the Consul is meant to rule the City if the Count is absent or incapacitated, therefore being the subsidiary depositary of the secret of the foundation of Vesuvia, and the importance of it’s Canals.

Lucio makes it pretty clear he doesn’t know much of anything about the ritual during Portia’s Star book, but he was told about it by Spada before his death as it was a secret kept close to the court. That gave him something of leverage, even if he wasn’t aware of it, 

My thought as to why the plague did not spread in Vesuvia sooner is that Lucio had knowledge of this ritual, however minimal, and the Devil needed him alive to eventually use the ritual for himself. So, as Vlastomil (the wyrm of pestilence who granted this curse) was established in Vesuvia as Praetor, the plague was kept at bay for the time being while the city came under the full control of the Devil’s demons. 

I cannot imagine the only person who knows about the ritual is the Count, because that feels like a woefully flawed plan, so I do believe the Consul would have also been privy to such a secret in case the Count was in a position they could not share it due to absence or incapacitation. Basically, a rehash of sunrisenfool’s point, but I digress. 

As the window drew nearer for the completion of the ritual and it became clearer that Lucio knew next to nothing about the ritual and how it worked, the Devil decided to take a different approach. The plague was unleashed once again by Vlastomil, with the goal that Lucio become infected and eventually die, and that Valerius take over the Countship. Lucio no longer was useful to the Devil, and should he be removed from power, someone like Valerius - who knew the purpose of the ritual, who was under the Devil’s bargain by this point - would be an ideal candidate to finish the task at hand. Leverage, it works wonders. 

I don’t think the ritual performed to gain a new body could have been mere chance. I think Lucio knew more than he let on about the canals and the magic in Vesuvia from Spada. Yes, I know the first three were written before Portia, but come on, the timing is insane. He’s no magician, and performing something that complex and magically charged right at the beginning of the three year window when the ritual is supposed to be performed feels far from coincidental. Fight me. 

But, on to what happens in Vesuvia once the plague is free to spread again.

Vesuvia - During the Plague

The first sighting of the plague is in year 20, and I personally believe the plague lasted about two years or 24 months. The period is divided into three ‘waves’ - the first six months, the year leading up to Lucio’s death, and the six months following Lucio’s death. 

The First Wave

The first wave begins when the first known case of the Red Plague is confirmed, and in this period, the spread is rather slow.  

Here is the introduction of the Lazaret, which I do believe is a building that existed before the plague - this is personal thoughts, but the odds of this being the first major disease Vesuvia experienced feel pretty slim, and I do think this was a previously established quarantine that was renovated/expanded for the Red Plague outbreak. In an effort to get ahead of the disease, the space was designated a quarantine, largely staffed by volunteers when the palace seemed to not acknowledge the growing situation. It would slowly begin to increase until the plague boomed at the six month mark, heralding the beginning of the second wave. 

The Second Wave

This is the ‘bad period’ of the plague. I say that loosely, because it’s all bad, but I digress. 

I headcanon that the apprentice dies in the beginning of the second wave, when spread of the red plague rapidly begins to increase and the call goes out for researchers to search for a cure. We know how that story goes, so moving on to the details of this wave. 

There were two groups at this point in the plague - those assigned to research, working out of Valdemar’s dungeon/lab/carnival of horrors studying the plague, and those assigned to the Lazaret, caring for the sick and dying and maintaining the facility. 

I’m going to focus more on the Lazaret for this, as the research aspect is pretty well covered throughout Julian’s route and conversations with him in other routes, and this post is already getting long. 

The Lazaret was home to the dying, where they would be cared for in their final days and eventually cremated. My thought is that the remains of the patients were carefully catalogued in the beginning, returned to families willing to claim them, and those left unclaimed were scattered on the beach at the Lazaret. Later on, as more and more people died, less remains were claimed, leading to the black beaches that still mark the shores of the Lazaret in canon. Often the staff here were a mix of healers, doctors, apothecaries, anyone willing to try anything to ease the pain of such a disease. 

The staff at the Lazaret began wearing layered masks - the plague mask with its herb-stuffed beak, another facial covering beneath for an added layer of protection, and a head covering that sealed the gaps between the mask and the face. They were also required to wear gloves, tight-fitted sleeves tucked inside, and their pants tucked into their boots to reduce the risk of infection through contact. Their days would start in locker rooms on one end of the facility, removed from the patients, and suit up for the day while leaving belongings in the lockers. The end of the shift consisted of showers and disposal of garments to be sterilized, they’d return home in the clothes they came in, and by the time they returned a new uniform would be waiting for them. 

Lucio caught the plague during this period, most likely halfway through. He lasted several months, but the exact length is unknown, aside from he ‘lasted longer than most victims of the plague’ who died between 3-10 days.

I don’t think the averages are entirely accurate. There were most likely some who were asymptomatic until the plague was in very late stages, or those who presented symptoms very early on and survived for long stretches of time. All would die bearing the red sclera, veins, and other symptoms depicted above. Basically, this disease is claimed to be unpredictable, and I think that would also stretch to the duration at which each patient had it. Those who were physically frail likely would have died sooner than those who had been in oprtimal health before the plague, making the times vary rather drastically. I’d suggest perhaps a month at the longest, a few days at the shortest. 

Policy wise - during this period, the ports would have closed, and Vesuvia would have shut down. Nobody in, nobody out, not without rigorous inspection and quarantine before exiting to the city to avoid further spread. Often the only people allowed into the city were doctors from other regions affected by the plague called to help research, but during this year, I would estimate Vesuvia lost easily 30% of its population to the Red Plague. 

The Third Wave

This wave is the period that occurs after Lucio’s death at the Masquerade, three years pregame. I’ll touch a tiny bit more more on this in the next section, but this is where we see the gradual end of the spread of the plague, and the last cases shown in Vesuvia. It’s the end of the plague period, and I give this about six months for the official ‘all clear’ to have been given by those tracking case counts. 

The Lazaret is eventually decommissioned and now sits abandoned, a shadow on the horizon to remind those who survived what had been lost. The city mourned, the gates slowly opened, and gradually, we reach the point of comparative normalcy we see in the game set three years later. 

Vesuvia - The Aftermath

Lucio’s death would, ultimately, mean the end of the plague. Rather than immediately disappearing and all those suffering from it be cured, however, I would be inclined to say that the spread came to a halt. 

The last wave of the plague, in the six months after Lucio’s death, would have been a decrease in new cases until there were no new ones being reported, and the last of the patients who had been infected finally passed. 

The final duties of the doctors at the Lazaret, after all remains are cremated, would have been the incineration of all materials that could not be sterilized. Linens, spare uniforms, unclaimed personal affects, so on and so forth until the time came to return home. I do not remember the exact location, but I am fairly confident of a mention of the MC remembering barrels burning doctor’s uniforms and masks in the days after the end of the plague. It was, for a lack of better words, a purge - an attempt to erase the last physical memories of what the city had endured. 

Events like this are traumatic for all involved. They are painful wounds, and for the rate of death I imagine occurred in Vesuvia, the odds that someone lost no one are slim. There was likely a long period of mourning, and as noted in the present of the game, rarely is the plague spoken of outside of the context of the investigation in the primary routes. 

Many of those medical staff members who survived were those assigned to research at the Palace. The proximity of the staff to the ill at the Lazaret quarantine likely would have made the rate of infection far higher for the caretakers, meaning that often the staff would end up caring for colleagues in their final days. 

Even three years removed, the time of the plague is a raw wound for those in Vesuvia - but I do think the period is fascinating and I love exploring the different facets of it in my own world building. And, well, shameless self promo, but I am eager to write it myself when I get into Zelda’s backstory.

If you made it this far, thank you. Go drink some water or something, idk, wellbeing checkpoint bc what a long ass post