#which are all things I'm craving
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I've got serious plans to move to a different province, which genuinely feels like moving to a different country, and I'm all busy looking for apartments and jobs
#personal#I've been dabbling with the idea for a few years#to move closer to my sister my niece and nephew#I don't have anything holding me here#and my biggest struggle is not being able to see them as often#my sister's like my best friend and I love her little demons so much#I told my sister this morning I've got serious plans and she's so happy#and we found an apartment ON HER STREET below a place I literally was at yesterday#but it'd already been rented out#there's more peace and quiet there too#there's woods and so much nature#which are all things I'm craving#I'm sick of the city#the city I want to move too is busy too but it's easy to escape into nature#I just already see me bringing my niece and nephew to school so my sister doesn't have to spend thousands on daycare anymore#and go for long walks in the woods#there's a very cool and inspiring place where you can take cool art classes singing classes theater everything#and fun stuff to do with the kids#i really want this#pray for me erbody
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ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU
I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.
like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#(not me realizing that meleanor doesn't actually appear non-silhouetted until part 5 so uhhhhh. whoops.)#(i know a bunch of you read the spoiler-tagged stuff though so i'm putting my life in your hands)#revan would be the funniest one i think because it's just raven but with the vowels switched and i'd be over here going WHAT COULD IT MEAN#anyway i'm here to give the people what they crave and it's obviously references to 70s american sitcoms that spun off of happy days#mork and grimdy. i-is that anything.#the problem of course is now that i might have to actually come up with a bunch of laverne and shirley jokes#when i haven't...actually watched it in a million years#(my personal pool of media i consumed growing up is a good 60% made up of random things i found to watch at 3 am because of insomnia)#(this probably explains a lot about me) (the opinions about zorro adaptations anyway)#hold on let me marathon all eight seasons and -- wait i'm just now finding out there was also an animated series#in which they joined the army and their sergeant was a literal cartoon pig but also they went to space and fought giant gorillas?#but how does boo boo kitty factor into this
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Some Mountain and Ifrit fluff because i feel people kinda forget Mountain was also part of the Popestar ghouls and I need more of those two interacting.
Mountain's lips twitch up when the smell of cedar and caramel fills his nostrils, a second before strong arms wrap around his waist from behind.
"Hello, Ifrit. Everything alright ?"
The fire ghoul pushes his forhead between Mountain's shoulderblades with a small noise. It's an awfully warm day, everyone sweating bullets, and yet Mountain wouldn't dream of pushing Ifrit off him, as hot - in every ways- as he is, the fire ghoul's skin feeling like he laid down under the sun for hours.
Still bent over a wooden table in the greenhouse, Mountain checks one last time the state of the struggling plant he attempted to save for the better part of the day, before straightening and turning around in Ifrit's hold despite the fire ghoul's dramatic whining.
They both realize how the other is dressed at the same time, eyes raking up and down the other's frame.
Well, as for Ifrit, "dressed" is a generous word. In nothing but very short bright pink shorts with the ghost logo printed on the ass, hidding absolutely nothing, the fire ghoul looks positively slutty.
"Why are you dressed like those oversexualized characters in action movies ?"
Ifrit snorts.
"Just missing the shirt tied in a knot right under my huge tiddies, uh ? 's comfy. You're one to talk, looking like a victorian wet dream."
Mountain glances down at his brown pants, held by leather suspenders over a widely opened flowy white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and admits to himself that he does look nice.
"Point taken. Is there something I can do for you, firebird ?"
Ifrit grins, retrieving a bag he probably dropped to hug Mountain, from which he extirpates a reusable bottle with lemons and daises doodled on it. With a flourish, he hands it to the earth ghoul.
"Lemonade. Zephyr made it. They thought you'd be thirsty, working your ass off in that weather."
The bottle is blissfully cold in Mountain's hands, probably kept that way by the air ghoul's doing, but he doesn't even have time to thank anyone before a box is shoved in his arms.
"And that's from me. Cupcake. Pistacchio and raspberries. Fresh out the oven. They're still a bit hot though, so you can wait to eat them since it's like, so freaking hot already, but anywa-"
Mountain cuts Ifrit off with a kiss, tasting the raspberries the fire ghoul indoubtably snatched while cooking directly from his lips.
When Mountain leans back with a smug smirk, Ifrit just blinks at him, mouth hanging half opened and cheeks flushed.
"...what was that for ?"
Dragging Ifrit toward an old bench, Mountain huffs.
"That was a thank you."
With a wheezing laugh, Ifrit sits right after Mountain, not questioning the manhandling for a second.
"Remind me to cover you in gifts then."
The box of cupcakes is swiftly opened, filling the greenhouse with its mouth-watering smell, bottle uncapped just as quickly.
"We're sharing this," Mountain anounces.
Ifrit opens his mouth to protest, but the earth ghoul is faster, shoving a cupcake in the fire ghoul's mouth before any sound can be uttered. Only barely avoiding to drop it, green frosting smeared on his nose and upper lips, Ifrit cackles, nearly slipping off the bench and dragging Mountain with him in his attempt to keep his balance.
"You- mrgh - absolute bastard," the fire ghould chuckles in between bites.
The lemonade tastes divine in the suffocating atmosphere of the sun-drenched afternoon, the cupcakes a welcome sweetness after long hours of work, but better than anything, Mountain thinks, is Ifrit smiling soft and tender at him, eyes crinkling in the corners, his laughter bouncing off the greenhouse's glass panels.
#they are my babies i will give them nice things and make them happy#for now at least#i have good angsty ideas unfortunately#ANYWAY#i know i described their outfits for no reason#but it was important to me#so bear with me#also technically Mountain's outfit is not victorian at all#but “victorian wet dream” sounded too good in my head not to put it there#and ifrit in those cursed pink shorts#you know which ones#yummy#they're stretched TIGHT on him let me tell you#ifrit bakes btw#and he does it well#i'm craving pistacchio raspberries cupcakes now#mountain ghoul#ifrit ghoul#nameless ghouls#the band ghost
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Watching Mavis contemplate the idea of herself possibly being on the path to becoming an alcoholic is strangely cathartic after how she treated me for being an alcoholic. I'd say I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through on my worst enemy, and that's mostly true. I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through in full on my worst enemy.
So I hope her recovery goes quick. But I also hope it sucks. I hope she gets withdrawals that she recovers from, but I hope she suffers the fevers and the chills and the cramps and the cravings and the agony. I hope she learns a lesson in how she enables and encourages the way society treats the struggling, the less fortunate, the downtrodden, the traumatised, the addicted.
I hope she learns something from this and never speculates or utters another fucking word about anyone else's coping habits or addictions. I hope she learns to stay in her fucking lane and not judge people for the methods they use to cope.
I hope she comes away with the knowledge of what her own medicine tastes like, and I hope it's bitter.
#mavisposting#tacking on that you wouldn't be having cravings for alcohol after only one drink the day before so she's defo lying for sympathy points#so y'know. as always. manipulative#i do genuinely hope she gets better if she is falling into addiction tho (which she's not because she's a liar)#but i also hope it sucks the whole fucking time she's getting better (which she won't because she's a liar)#i hope her withdrawals are short but also the worst thing that's ever happened to her#even if it's just one day of withdrawals. i hope she gets all the shit i coped with for weeks when i went cold turkey#i hope she learns how fucking hard it is and she never says another cruel word to or about addicts of any sort#i don't care if i sound cruel atp. it's 12am. i'm sleepy. i'm tired of the world's cruelty#and i'm especially tired of her woe-is-me manipulative lying bullshit#the utter fucking audacity she has to lie about this shit after everything she said about my alcoholism and drug use#she can get fucked royally actually. fuck her. i don't care. genuinely one of the worst people i've ever met and that's saying something
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me when i realise that i've been thinking for, like, a good hour about how great i am and that i am actually the only one who's ever right about everything, which can only mean ✨️manic episode✨️
#im checking my lil list. yes. it all checks out#my question is: why#i wasnt feeling that great earlier#which yeah may have been a sign#well. i was just being a jerk to everyone (only in my head) by being full of myself and self righteous (again - in my head)#the only thing that's missing is craving alcohol. i'm not - i'm actually a bit queasy rn so the thought isn't even appealing#and i'm being surprisingly rational about all this#it can only mean that i will either pull an allnighter (past 1am and i'm still fully awake) or sleep n wake up fully berserk#okay i kept on checking the list and i've been thinking about dangerous sex (for me. never for others). that falls under careless behaviour#fuck.
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x if anything about this feels like it doesn't fit, that's because you don't understand the profound effect charoum and gorty have had on each other.
#'vinnie why is gortash's icon a pink crown that says 'princess' on it?'#how about we stop talking for a little while.#key points: i don't think you can want to become archduke of bg and NOT crave attention. he wants to be the specialest guy in the universe#however his desire for attention is an ego thing.#charoum wants attention because he am feel uncomfortable when things are not about him?#similarly gorty is definitely MORE cautious than charoum. but you can't be TOO cautious and also want to take over the world.#recklessness is required to accomplish big things.#charoum is overconfident and believes he can be reckless and survive so he's further on the scale than gorty#similarly taking over the world is not something a typically exhausted person undertakes. that requires energy.#kinky/vanilla TBH i don't think gorty particularly cares. he needs to be mentally engaged. everything else depends on the other person#that said i don't think he'd be mentally engaged with a person who's ideal sex life is missionary sex with the lights off. so.#also jealousy: neither of them is ACTUALLY that jealous because they have egos the size of the sun and are certain they hold an important#place in each other's lives#charoum randomly decides to get jealous when he's bored and in the mood to be annoying#gorty almost full stop doesn't get jealous at all. although he will get possessive at times and force that onto charoum#which i'm lumping into the jealousy stat#ascended astarion i GENUINELY don't think has what it takes to worship anybody.#however there's a hole in the triumvirate that needs filling. and by god if ascended astarion doesn't know how to fill a hole-#charoum
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I'm turning 18 this Friday :3
#not at all saying this to let y'all know that i am craving self-insert fics anf fanarts#which means i won't tell you that my current fandoms are the dcas pluto from nevermore eddie munson and spirou#because why would i tell you that i love hurt/comfort and canon-divergence xreaders right?#that would be reall stupid to tell you such things when i'm clearly not asking you for a fic or a fanart on my birthday#surely i would never tell you to check my best friend's account in my pinned post to ask for more details#anyways my internet friends should clearly not offer me a fanfic or fanart for my birthday#whispers from atlantis
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have realised i've felt like my art should only stick to certain niches... you know? but how i'd love to not stress it so much 👉👈 thinking i'd love to do even more backgrounds! also want to start drawing prehistoric beasts and more animals in general! also perhaps more furry art?? want to share more abt d&d campaigns, more random meme redraw bullshit etc etc. mayhaps, if i get to it all😳 MAYBE
also just rly on the verge of starting to talk more... i genuinely love minding my own business but the allure of sharing random things is starting to get too much!! (might start on twitter tho bc it's already on fire anyway... maybe i could yell about creatures and stuff there while keeping my tumblr a bit cleaner since this is my main platform... idk!!)
#rat.pov#extremely torn bc i'm genuinely super private but on the other hand really crave silly lil interactions with ppl...#and i rly mean just random rambles and commenting nice things on ppls art etc. which is like what.... most ppl just do i guess#idk why it's so scary to me lol#also i dont mean this all as in i want to stop drawing fandom stuff i just mean adding more stuff that i like :) and not being so#stuck on thinking what i can and what i can't post. just being sillier. where's my fucking whimsy
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Misc. photos from the past year or so ~
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. napping bapy boye sneeping on his own foot as if it were a pillow#2. The little primrose that I have seems to bloom sporadically all year around as long as I bring it inside and don't let it freeze#in the winter. This was a flower that came up randomly like mid november lol#3. Rainbow where you can see a little bit of a second rainbow near the bottom of it :0#4. CHILDREN.... love to see them.....#5. Halloween Candy ranking tierlist. not important enough to post on it's own. so throwing it in with one of these I guess lol#I am also not really a candy person at all and prefer bready stuff like cakes rather than chocolate bars (if I even have to have sweets#at ALL which usually I prefer savory food). I suspect the apple is controversial but.. I do love apples .... huzzah#actually am having applle and peanut butter snack right now as I'm writing this lol#6. Various bowls/cups/etc. that I got from a store at COMPLETELY different times like.. years apart from each other#yet at some point realized that they all mostly match in paint color and seem to be part of the same pattern#But I totally didnt make that connection until a few years ago when I was putting up dishes. I just bought them all invidually because it's#like 'oh cool! a cat' *1 year later* 'oh cool! a cat!' etc. lol.. I guess it must be a popular design if it's been around being sold that#long.#7. carne asada burrito and matcha bubble tea... oughhgh.... again one of my very rare meals where I actually go and get something..#probably my favorite meal currently. Something about the Chronic Anemia makes me crave beef burritos madly despite only having one#maybe twice a year or so ghjbhj.. plus the beans.... onions.... many of my Diet Forbidden foods... Also of course the little aishas#are there.... somehow they shall split the meal together even though it's like 10x bigger than their bodies.. they are also hungry#and vastly anemic... huzzah to them...#8. I've had this shirt for a long time but it fits very weird so I can never find a way to use it in outfits?? But I recently had#an appointment where a doctor needed to be able to look at my back and it's one of the only actual Shirts that I have (mostly i just own#long robes or tunics or jumper dress type of things that would be hard to lift up or etc. like... I dont even own a single normal 't-shirt'#or anyting aside from one giant tshirt that I sleep in in the summer lol.) So I wore this there.. I forget how much I love the pictures on#it.. how pleasant... little hummingbird... AND I think one of the flowers is supposed to be columbine ... !#photo diary
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I overshare online because I need constant validation that every thought and action of mine is Good and Okay and Normal. Surely this is a healthy coping mechanism
#something I'm trying to work through#comes from a hard mixture of autism (not knowing if what im doing is Normal behavior)#OCD (guilt loops that last for days weeks months on end)#ADHD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)#being raised christian (always being reminded that bad thoughts and actions will send you to hell)#and trauma from being heavily monitored as a teenager (very used to having every thought & action over-analyzed)#i have a constant craving for validation because of all of those things#which leads me to being a very self-absorbed person#i feel like if people aren't consistently telling me that im a good person then i must be horrible#im putting my emotional work onto others when i do that#making it THEIR responsibility to make me love myself#it's not healthy for you or anyone around you#you can't truly improve yourself if you're always relying on other people to verify whether or not you're okay#especially since everyone has different opinions & biases#if you never learn how to validate yourself you become completely reliant on others#and if you lose that outside validation everything will fall apart#even though i know these things i still haven't broken out of the habit#but that's another thing you have to give yourself grace for#you can't expect yourself to instantly adhere to new expectations#so you're gonna be hypocritical at times#you can't hate youself for that either it takes time to break habits#you need to find the line between self criticism and self hatred#love yourself Or Else. literally.#.bdo
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Lesbian megastar where starscream is a hyper femme she/he lesbian and megatron is a she/her (occasionally they) butch but will occasionally be femme leaning because starscream encourages her and makes her feel like it's okay to explore that part of her.
But overall she likes being butch and that's what she's most comfortable and ofc starscream is fine with that he loves Megatron regardless of how she presents
#megastar#megatron#starscream#I'm drawing them.... starscream just looks how i always draw him lmao#starscream more or less kinda talks megatron into it just because starscream himself is working out his own trauma - but when he discovered#that megatron was happy being how she was he of course just accepted her#which starscream loves her butches too#he just is working out so many problems with his own identities#like in most of my aus as a seeker he was forced to present and act a certain way because of his frame type#and while he hates that for him he is attracted to it in others#he went great lenghts to make himself have the body/presentation he desired#again she craves those specific body types in others but not in herself - it maeks her dysphoric#while craving that tho she falls into this harmful idea that she's forcing her partner to present that way#so he tries to project onto megatron that he feels that way#which megatron is not a seeker - so she wasn't ever used to that#so she has no idea why starscream acts that way until starscream comes clean#this is also just a recurring thing with all my megastar aus
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woke up to find that my rats pulled the fleece covering off of their ramp (& knocked the whole thing askew) and one of them was sleeping inside it 🥺
#v cute. also v funny.#anyway hi I'm still alive but the heat wave is absolutely killing me#my already limited energy is being drained just by existing in the heat#I hate everything rn 🙃🙃🙃#I've been lurking but like. idk I feel like I shouldn't be posting while I'm not really writing#which is silly. but my discomfort in the heat is making me even more emotional and adjgksg about things than usual I think#also haven't been sending many memes or anything bc I'm starting to feel bad doing it when I'm not answering asks/threads in return#but I am around. I'm beating my head against the wall & craving a swift death & burying my thoughts in genshin but I am around.#hopefully. HOPEFULLY. the weather cools off soon..... maybe then I'll be able to unleash my menace child from their cage......#all that said tho ily guys & I hope everyone has been having a lovely weekend 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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it's funny that anon talking about being a late bloomer sent that ask today because I just got done having a conversation about how being a late bloomer can really fuck with your brain. specifically, I think I've narrowed down why it's hard for people who aren't late bloomers to conceptualize why it can fuck with your brain.
non-late bloomers see romantic experiences in their youth as trivial because they've probably had infinitely better experiences since then. they might struggle to understand why anyone would envy that first experience, especially when they're so often... Not Great. meanwhile, late bloomers are still ruminating on when they'll get to have their first experience.
I don't think that having a first kiss as a teenager like the rest of my peers would've made me better off full stop. I do think that it would have assured me, in a real and tangible way, that somebody at least ONCE has wanted to kiss me. and the longer I go on without that tangible evidence, the more it means to me.
because that kiss could have been gross and slimy and otherwise unremarkable, but I would be reassured that at one point in time, there was a person who looked at me and thought, "I wanna kiss you." which feels infinitely better than never knowing at all.
#mjspeaks#it's less the thing taking place at a specific time and more so the reassurance that someone has wanted to do that thing with you#and when you begin to crave doing these things as a teenager but don't get that release... it does a number on your self-esteem#now that I'm in my 20s it isn't like. world-ending to me anymore. but it is a deep and unique pain#I missed out on a lot of 'typical' teenage experiences bc of my upbringing. and I make up for them everyday in adulthood#which is why I wrote late-bloomer!! bc it sucks being 'behind' regardless of how okay it is. we know it's okay. it still hurts#anyway there's nothing wrong with you if you're a late bloomer. you'll get that reassurance someday. people love in silence all the time#and you deserve someone to love you out loud!
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Bunch of poles my vines are crawling towards. Can't wait to be a social human being on the Internet again.
(send hugs. send comfort. this is an SOS)
#so many things and all i'm ever craving for more than ever#is community#one of which i feel like i don't have a tight grasp of these days because of life's circumstances#!!! please let me know you are there#alive and well!!!
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[walking around, peering into people's faces like i'm in an art exhibit] hm. nice
#just me hi#it's a give and take system and baby WHY am i standing in for the free samples cart#[dies dies]#<- irrelevant to the main body but oh man. oh mannngngnghfjs#//nice thing anyway; we're going to the beach :D#it's been like a year or so since we've been so yippee :DD#i like going to the center of the lake and waiting for the boats to make big waves lol#sure it makes it harder to get back to shore but in the meantime i get to go wheeee hfbhs#that and if you swim out far enough nobody will bother to swim to you. untouchable gfbsh#just water and water and water and oh hello dragonfly and water and that kid just fell headfirst into the shallow water and water and#:>>#//in other news too: i am like.. one 5th done with the third ref lol👍👍#it IS a bog. but at least it's a nicer bog ykno hfsh ?#//how funny would it be if they found atlantis at the bottom of like. a random lake#you know how underwater caverns are! but it would be neat hbfhv :3#i don't mean any of the great lakes either; it's completely sensical that you'd lose a city in there. why would you leave it on the coast#dummy?? the water Will eat everything#unlike the earth; which only gets aggressive cravings now and then. and that's only cuz she's doing all this moving. she's earned it hfbsh#/also question. if our planet ate another planet would anybody here have a problem with that [wide gesturing towards you]#because you would have to assume it's natural. How and Why Else would a planet be eating another planet ?? plus. what if the chances are#high that it fixes all our problems lol. 'why are you asking this' see that's a good question. and every now and then there are questions w#leave to people of a more scientific or philosophical turn of mind. not me. i'm the 'do you support mother earth eating other planets whole#questions guy :) an important role in some states of being lol#//anywho i gotta get on my things. you know. the things? and the stuffs. lotta those going on. lots of things. and stuffs :)#and i don't wanna count my tags again lol - i think i'm in the mid-twenties but let's not be too sure about that hfhvhsh#so ciao toodles. i will most likely be back with some family-answers to the planet-eating question#byyyye :3
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((Never become a Naoto writer because you will become so unwell when you realize just how bad and depressive her and her Shadow REALLY ARE!!))
#out of cards#mun stuff#((sorry not sorry to Liz who has to deal with my insane ramblings about this mentally ill detective#I keep making Naoto and her shadow WORSE THAN WHAT WE SEE IN GAME!!!#BUT ALL OF IT MAKES SENSE!!!#not only because Naoto wants to be molded into the perfect detective but she wants to remove the things that make her FEEL HUMAN!!#JUST SO HER EMOTIONS AND HER HUMANITY DON’T INTERFERE WITH BECOMING THE PERFECT DETECTIVE!!#THE ONE TO TAKE ON THE SHIROGANE NAME AND FOLLOW IN HER PARENTS' FOOTSTEPS#so getting rid of those things that MAKE you feel human need to be removed 🙃#but she still WANTS and CRAVES human connection which...I think is why her Shadow would want to keep her heart#so maybe that cold and hollow creature CAN feel something again#this is one really messed up girl here and I'm not sorry for it 😞))
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