#and you deserve someone to love you out loud!

[frostimochi]

resolutions

(logan howlett x reader)

summary: You and Logan attend a New Years party hosted by Wade. With the countdown to midnight, you both get caught up in the moment and share an intimate moment with each other.

word count: 2.4k

author's note: i unironically had a dream about this the other night, so of course i had to share with the class, days earlier than planned. this takes place a year after deadpool & wolverine. enjoy! :>

find it on ao3 here

. . .

New Years was awfully unpredictable for you. Every year seemed to bring a different mix of highs and lows, leaving you wondering whether the holiday was even worth celebrating. This year, you didn’t even plan to—until Wade showed up with an invitation to his apartment against your will, promising the "social event of the decade." Against your better judgment, you agreed, dragging Logan along as your buffer for whatever insanity awaited. After all, how bad could it be?

It turned out, predictably, to be very bad.

The party was chaotic, as expected when Wade was involved. Streamers hung haphazardly from the ceiling, balloons were scattered across the floor, and someone had already popped open a bottle of champagne—two hours early. The stereo blasted a mix of '80s rock and whatever Wade had decided was "party music," which helped to create an unforgettable experience. And not in a good way.

Surrounding the room, couples were unable to keep their hands to themselves, unflatteringly in your direction. One group of friends were drunkenly laughing as they took selfies under a sagging strand of broken lights, while others swayed together to the mismatched beat of Wade’s horrendous playlist. You watched everything unfold, while Dogpool sat on your lap, constantly begging you for more cuddles.

Logan sat on the couch beside you, opening a bottle of beer, his expression a mix of irritation and mild amusement. He never wanted to come, but you’d convinced him. And of course, how could he say no? The promise of decent company and free booze was enough to get him to tag along. And though he wouldn't say it out loud, he also secretly loved spending time with you.

As Wade danced dramatically in the corner among the rest, Logan shot you a look that said, "This is your fault."

You laughed at his expression, your hands still on Dogpool as you nudged his arm. 

"Come on, admit it. You’re having a little fun."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Watching Wade do... whatever the hell that is? Sure, a riot."

"It’s interpretive dance," Wade called out, spinning in a circle before collapsing dramatically onto the floor. "I’m expressing the tragedy of running out of nachos."

Logan rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched in a barely there smile. You caught it and grinned.

“Come here, Mary Puppins! Daddy has a surprise for you!” Wade shouted, diving toward you and grabbing Dogpool out of your lap before you could protest.

You blinked, hands still frozen in mid-air. "What the hell, Wade? She’s comfortable!"

Wade cradled Dogpool dramatically, making kissy faces at her. "Oh, but I have something better," he said in a sing-song voice. "A little treat she’ll never forget."

Logan raised an eyebrow from where he sat, grasping onto his beer bottle while watching the scene unfold. "Oh boy.”

You sighed, already knowing this wouldn’t end well. "I swear, if you try to feed her something weird—"

"Don’t worry," Wade interrupted with a grin. “I made her something special, to dedicate my first year with Puppins here, of course.”

"Let me guess," you said, crossing your arms. "You’re feeding her leftover pizza crusts and ranch dressing?"

Wade’s face lit up. "Are you shitting me? I’ve got something way better than that!" With that, he dug into the pocket of his absurdly tight pants and pulled out a tiny, half-melted sandwich. You swore that you could see a tiny bit of mold in it.

 "Behold, a hot dog sandwich! You know, for dogs, because they deserve the best."

Logan stared at the sad creation in disbelief. "That’s just a hot dog in a bun. For you."

"Fuck no!" Wade grinned, holding the sandwich up like it was the Holy Grail. "This is an exclusive Dogpool meal—made with delicate care!"

Logan let out a low chuckle as Dogpool tried to squirm free from Wade’s arms, clearly more interested in anything but what her own owner had in store for her. 

You grinned at Logan. "It’s a shame. This could have been a bonding moment for the two of them.”

Wade, completely unfazed by Dogpool's lack of enthusiasm, tried to coax her into taking a bite, which ended up with him chasing her around the apartment.

 "Come on, sweetie! You can’t say no to this!”

"Guess Dogpool's smarter than all of us," Logan muttered, taking a swig of his beer as Wade continued his one-dog food fight.

You chuckled to yourself as you watched Wade flailing around the place, bumping into others without a care in the world. Logan’s lips curled into a small, satisfied smile, something that only appeared when he knew you were genuinely amused.

"Well, looks like I haven’t completely ruined your night," Logan remarked dryly, leaning back into the couch and taking another sip of his beer. His eyes stayed on you, still holding the faint smile on his face.

You nudged him gently with your elbow. "You’re enjoying this more than you thought you would."

His gaze flickered away for a moment before he gave a small nod, the corner of his mouth twitching again. "Maybe a little," he muttered, clearly not wanting to give you the satisfaction of admitting it outright.

. . . 

As the night rolled on, a few more guests trickled in, and the energy of the room continued ebbing and flowing. Wade was missing for a bit, which kept things steady for a while. Logan stayed close to you, content to observe rather than participate. You didn’t mind; his dry commentary on the festivities kept you entertained.

You checked your watch for a moment. It was 11:48 pm. Leaning back in your seat, your eyes drifted back to Logan, wanting to start a conversation amidst the awkward silence.

"So, what’s your resolution?" you asked him as the clock neared midnight.

Logan’s gaze flicked to you. "Don’t do resolutions."

"Why not?"

"What’s the point? People make ‘em and break ‘em in the same week."

"Not everyone," you said. "Some people actually stick to them."

"You?" he asked, tilting his head. "What’s yours?"

You went into thought for a moment. You? A new year's resolution? Every time you’ve attempted to stick with one, it always ended up blowing up in your face. If there was anything you wanted more than anything to succeed in, it would probably be to get with Logan. Of course, the concept of it was foreign, but you fell for him the minute you met him. You knew that under the circumstances of what the two of you have been through, there was no chance you could tell him how you felt, or know if he reciprocated the same way.

But maybe it was time to put that all behind. A new year was approaching after all.

There was a long pause before you responded.

 "To... take more risks, I guess."

Logan’s lips quirked. "Risks, huh? Like coming to a party with this crowd?"

"Sure," you said with a laugh. "Your turn."

He shook his head jokingly. “Same as you.”

Before you could press him further, Wade appeared, clapping his hands loudly. "Alright, people! Ten minutes to midnight! Time to get your New Year’s smooch plans in order. No shame in making deals, folks."

Everyone around the room had somebody close to them for the big countdown. It made you glance back at Logan. "You got a lucky someone?"

He gave you a look that made your stomach flip, but he said nothing. Instead, he took another sip of his beer, shaking his head.

A heavy sigh escaped you as you stood up, glancing around one last time. It seemed like nothing was going to change tonight. You made your way towards the kitchen, grabbing a drink to settle the quiet disappointment that had settled in your chest.

. . .

As the countdown began, the room filled with excitement. People paired off, others grabbed sparklers from a box Wade had inexplicably found, and you felt a small pang of awkwardness as you realized you didn’t have a plan for the midnight kiss. You hadn’t thought much of it; you’d figured it wasn’t a big deal.

"Ten!" Wade’s voice boomed over the music, causing the entire room to erupt into excitement. 

People cheered and clinked glasses as the countdown began in full force. You could hear the muffled echo of it coming from every direction, but your focus remained on the drink in your hand, the sudden unease gnawing at you.

"Nine!" Wade continued, getting even louder. You shifted uncomfortably, your eyes darting to the couples already pairing up, lips ready for the tradition. It was just a kiss, right? A simple tradition, nothing more. But why did it pang your heart this much?

"Eight!" 

The countdown sped on, the crowd growing louder, more energized. Your heart rate picked up in a way you couldn’t explain.

"Seven!"

 You turned your head, glancing over your shoulder to the bar, then to the group by the windows, still holding your drink. But your mind was far from the surroundings. You hadn’t planned for this, hadn’t thought much about it until now. The idea of a midnight kiss had always felt trivial before, but tonight it seemed to matter for some reason you couldn’t grasp.

"Six!" 

You looked around for something to distract you, anything to break the tension building in your chest. But as your gaze shifted around the room, you realized that Logan had somehow made his way closer to you, inching his way through the crowd, his quiet presence unnoticed by you as you remained lost in your own swirling thoughts.

"Five!" 

The countdown ticked on, but your awareness narrowed to just the space between you and Logan. You felt a presence beside you, and for a moment, you didn’t even realize it was him until you looked up—his steady, unreadable eyes meeting yours. The air felt different, and you couldn’t tell if it was just the alcohol or something else entirely.

"Four!" 

Logan’s gaze didn’t waver. You felt a flutter of nerves in your stomach, but there was a softness in his eyes that made everything else fade. The crowd continued to cheer, to count down, but all you could hear was the steady beat of your own heart, drowning out the noise.

"Three!" 

Logan's hand brushed against yours. Deliberate, yet gentle, and the contact sent a small spark racing up your arm. You couldn’t help but look at him, a question in your eyes. Was this... real? 

"Two!" 

Logan’s face was in front of you, his hand reaching up to your face, his touch warm and steady against your skin. You couldn’t breathe for a moment, your heart racing at a pace you hadn’t expected. His thumb gently brushed over your cheekbone, a tender gesture that only made everything feel more overwhelming.

The countdown faded into the background as his face inched closer. Your thoughts scrambled, but there was only one certainty you understood. The way Logan was looking at you, the way everything seemed to quiet around you. 

You didn’t pull away. You didn’t need to. For the first time that night, you felt grounded.

“One!”

The room erupted in cheers, but all you felt was Logan’s lips on yours. Warm, firm, and completely unexpected. The kiss was brief, but it lingered, a moment suspended in time.

 When you pulled back, his eyes searched yours, an expression of quiet uncertainty mingled with something more. His lips were slightly parted, as if he was trying to process the same rush of emotions you were. Neither of you spoke. You simply stood there, close enough to feel each other’s breath, the world around you seeming to slow down even further. His gaze softened, a faint, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of his lips. But he didn’t say anything—not yet.

The noise of the room swirled back into focus, but it felt distant, like a muffled backdrop to what you both were experiencing in that exact moment. Logan’s hand was still resting against your cheek. Warm, like it had always belonged there.

"Didn’t think I’d be here, doing this," Logan muttered under his breath, his eyes still locked onto yours. There was something vulnerable in his voice, and it made your heart beat faster.

Before you could respond, he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head as though trying to dismiss the weight of the moment. "Wade’s probably gonna never let us live this down," he added, the ghost of a grin curling his lips.

You couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to lighten the mood. "You don’t have to worry about him. I’ll take the blame," you said, the tension between you easing slightly.

Logan looked at you, his gaze more serious now, though there was still a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes. "I’m not so sure I mind…”

There was a pause of silence, but neither of you moved.

“Guess this is what happens when I let you talk me into things,” he said, his voice teasing but warm.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. “I’m not complaining.”

He gave you a half-shrug, a small, hesitant smile pulling at the corner of his lips. " I’ve been thinking about this. Longer than I should’ve."

A mixture of surprise and warmth flooded through you. You could feel your cheeks flush, but the sudden honesty in his words was enough to settle the fluttering nerves in your chest.

"I’ve been thinking about it too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, the truth coming out more easily than you'd expected. "Longer than I realized.”

His thumb gently traced the edge of your jaw, a gesture both comforting and intimate, as he let out a smirk.

"Guess we’ve been a little slow on the uptake, huh?"

“Let’s leave that for last year.”

You smiled, a soft, genuine thing, and his gaze softened in return. Neither of you needed to say more. You were here now, standing close, hearts open in a way they hadn’t been before. And maybe that was enough.

As the noise from the crowd picked up again, people shouting and celebrating the turn of the new year, Logan leaned in a little closer, his voice just for you.

 “Happy New Year,” he murmured.

"Happy New Year," you replied softly, a small smile tugging at your lips. The rest of the world seemed to fade away again, the cheers and music just background noise.

 And you were right where you needed to be.

[halfgirl-halfdolll]

Self-indulgent again, also very much a vent. For the girlies who don't wanna be moms, not even in fictional settings, who kinda need some representation. Tw: angst with (almost) no comfort and self-deprecation.

You don't want kids.

You have nothing against them, really. You even like most children, think they're cute and all, but it's just not for you. You have never liked baby dolls, nor have you ever dreamed of motherhood; never had that tug of maternal instinct that most women your age felt.

And for a long time, you felt wrong. It was yet another broken part of you that you couldn't possibly fix, and that alienated you from your peers. You still feel wrong. An annoying, loud part of you still thinks you're broken, but what can you do?

You scroll through your instagram feed, seeing post after post of old classmates either with a big, round belly or with a little bundle in the arms, all bright smiles and hands entertwined and hugs.

And you think maybe you ARE doing things wrong. Maybe you were supposed to do that too. Try to conform to what everyone apparently thinks you should do, push through and endure something you know you weren't built for – maybe it'd fill the hole inside your gut, who knows?

Then you hear a baby cry – a soldier's wife was visiting with their kid – and you lose your breath, quickly approaching a meltdown as you feel your hackles raise despite how much you think it's wrong to feel this way.

You lock yourself into the nearest room.

Truly, you don't mind children. In fact, you respect them so much you know they deserve someone who has maternal instincts, and you know that you're not that someone. Not when you fucking derail at the sound of a kid crying.

"What's wrong, love?" Your eyes focus and you finally realize that you had entered Price's office without realizing. Probably your subconscious seeking the comfort of his presence.

"... Nothing." You lie, breathing deeply and waddling your way to one of his couches. The other men observe your movements with the some focus of a scientist finding a jumpy animal in the wild. Simon gets up to give you his seat on the couch.

"Yer pale as a sheet, lass. What happened? Saw a bug on yer way here?" Soap says playfully, as he scoots closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and anchoring you back to reality.

You huff out a sad, tired laugh and shake your head. You feel the familiar pressure build up behind your eyes and your throat constricts, but you close your eyes and keep breathing deeply, willing the tears away.

A few moments pass of you trying to keep your emotions at bay while the men silently watch you, patiently waiting for you to open up in your terms.

"Do you think I'm broken?" You finally whisper and Ghost is kneeling right beside your seat in the blink of an eye, a strong hand squeezing your knee.

"Why would we ever think that, love?" Kyle asks as he sits on the ground and swiftly takes off your shoes, massaging your feet.

You clear your throat, trying to ground yourself through the feeling of Soap, Ghost and Gaz touching you, all while Price stands to the side. The comforting woodsy scent of their colognes envelops you like a cocoon, but it doesn't stop you from thinking.

It is during moments like this that you can feel your heart breaking – remembering how much you ended up loving them and how much you don't deserve them at the same time.

Your mind flashes back to late nights at some hole-in-the-wall bar, all four of them in different stages of drunkenness, talking about distant dreams they have – a family. Kids running through the house. You'd usually smile and keep quiet, knowing you were drunk as well; at the danger of making some self-deprecating comment you were sure they wouldn't appreciate.

It's good, how things have to be nipped at the bud, you think. It's best to have your fantasies ruined than indulge in them and then hurt yourself later on.

You look at Johnny, a sorrowful smile on your face as he raised his eyebrows in concern. He'll be a great father, you're sure of it. All of them will. It's just sad that you will never be the one to fulfill their fatherhood dreams. You can't disrespect their dreams out of selfishness. You can't disrespect a child just because you were too greedy to breath the same air as those men.

Your breathing slows down, emptiness burrowing its roots deep inside the painful muscles of your heart and your gut.

If you're going to be miserable either way, you'd always choose the option in which you would never drag any of them down with you.

"Forget I said anything." You squeeze Simon's hand, still firmly clutching your thigh. "I'm just having a bad day. I'll feel better soon."

You lean forward, gently removing Kyle's hands from your feet, and put your shoes back on. You get up, still feeling like there's a scream stuck in your throat – something fierce inside of you that begs to be loved without needing to create life; something desperate, that wonders if anyone would want to stay with you without a child to tie them down.

Oh god, are you going to die alone?

You clear your throat as you get up before images of the 141 with other women begin flooding your mind. That would have to wait till nighttime. You could cry freely then.

You force a tight-lipped smile and nod your head at Price. He subtly narrows his eyes.

"Sorry I barged through your door with my nonsense, Captain. I'll be taking my leave now."

Price crosses his arms and watches you leave, steps slow and deliberate as if you were hanging by the thinnest thread. He's very aware of the eyes of his men boring through his head, egging him on to do something, say something. Isn't he the Captain, after all?

"Love." Price calls out for you as you open the door. You look at him with watery eyes and reddened lips. No matter how much you tried to hide how awful you felt, you always wore your emotions on your expressions.

"You're not broken." He murmurs and your eyebrows twitch. "No matter what hurts you. We would never think you're broken."

You bite your tongue, holding back any bitter protest of his words. Instead, you smile.

"Thanks, Cap. I do hope so." You say as you step outside and close the door before any of them could try to retort. You can't discuss anything right now. Not when your mind is yelling silently, desperately begging for acceptance of you as you are.

Most times, you just hate yourself too much and too loudly to be able to notice how they would never care about the choices you have made for yourself and your life, as long as you could stay inside their arms; as long as you could be their girl.

[robo-writing]

Hii. Absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE all your work

Could I request a one shot about cuddly logan with a soft but beefy fem reader?

Like I saw this post which basically said good luck trying to breathe if you're cuddling with logan and he's on top of you because his head weighs about 20 kgs (45lbs) based on the 1/7th of bodyweight estimate. And as someone who weight trains I was like thats not a lot?!?!?!?!? light weight no reaction, why stop at just the head lay your whole upper body over me I'll be fine. He deserves the love and comfort. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to hold him tight, let him decompress and make him feel safe.

“Twenty…Twenty-One…!”

He watches you from the door, leaning against the frame while you bring the iron bar to your chest. A repetitive motion that draws his eyes towards your sweat-lined arms, bulging with exertion as you count each rep out loud.

“Twenty-Two…Twenty-three…!”

He thought he was fit, but watching you is breathtaking. He has the benefit of a mutation, but seeing you lift damn near twice your weight with ease makes him that more impressed by you. Your hard-work is displayed effortlessly for him to see, and boy, is he watching.

“Twenty-Four…Twenty-Five…Logan?”

His attention is grabbed from the sight of your muscles to the sound of your voice, looking up to see the knowing look you cast towards him.

You carefully set your weights down, swinging your legs from the bench while you wipe the sweat from your brow. “Seeing something you like?”

“Seeing someone I like,” he grins, before his eyes point to the discarded bar. “That a new record?”

“Mhm,” you answer, still very aware of how intensely he was eye-fucking you. “Care to join me?”

“Nah, not in the mood to lift,” he says, furrowing his eyebrows when you laugh.

You push yourself forward, inviting him to your side with a crook of your finger. “I meant that you’d be better as a participant than as a spectator, if you catch my meaning.”

It takes a while for the gears to turn in his head, looking at you a bit like a lost puppy before it starts to click in his head.

“You…want to lift me?”

“I do,” you giggle. “What are you? 360?”

“390.”

“I can deadlift 410.”

He eyes you warily, while you sit there oh so inviting. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you, but he can’t lie to himself and say that the idea of you carrying him isn’t making his heart skip a beat.

Decisions, decisions.

“My skeleton is made of metal sweetheart, I don’t fancy driving you to the hospital,” he sighs.

“I’ll be fine! Trust me,” you plead, walking towards him with your hands together. “Please? Pretty please?”

Logan turns his head away, knowing exactly what you’re trying to do. “No means no, don’t try to convince me, I’m not cracking.”

You huff dejectedly, and he thinks he’s won—

—until he feels your hands at his sides.

“If I can’t convince you,” you grunt. “Guess I just gotta do it myself!”

“Hey—!”

You heave once, bend your knees, and suddenly his feet no longer touch the floor. On pure instinct he freezes, grabbing you by the shoulders while your hands find their way to the back of his thighs. You stand proud, his legs wrapped around your hips, holding him close while you grin like the cat who ate the cream.

“What the fuck,” he whispers, shock on his face. You jostle him around a bit, making sure your grip is secure before taking a few steps.

“See? Perfectly safe,” you muse, leaning up to give him a quick peck on the chin. “Told you to trust me.”

He’s reeling from a lot of emotions—fear, nerves, even anxiety—but underneath all that is this giddy little feeling that sits in his chest at the idea of being carried around, especially with such ease. He can’t remember the last time that happened—can’t remember the last time someone wanted to.

“I see that smile on your face,” you say, kissing at his face while he’s distracted. “You like being carried, don’tcha?”

True to your word, there’s a smile spreading across his lips, one he tries (and fails) to hide. “Just happy you didn’t break your back is all.”

There’s a lot of benefits to being your boyfriend, but this is the one thing he’ll never get used to.

[zevrra]

could u write a jayce x female or gn reader fic or blurb where the reader has major baby fever or just wants a child in general? I feel like Jayce would make such a good girl dad. idk..this request is pretty stupid but i’ve just been craving Jayce as a dad.

I LUV UR WRITING BTW!! PLS NEVER STOP POSTING! 🤍

a/n: AAAAH this was such a cute idea i couldn’t resist KSHDKH. jayce 100% is a girl dad, you can’t change my mind and i also like to think he’d want a HUGE family too. 😭 thank you so much for the request and im sorry it’s a lil shorter but i hope it makes you giggle and kick your feet at the thought of dad!jayce bc i did KSHSKH i love jayce so much omg

jayce is definitely someone who wants to have a giant family one day. wants to have as many kids, in anyway possible, as his partner will let him. he’d be so sweet talking about how one day he hopes he can show off his kids and give them everything they could ever dream about. his heart is so big and it’s just so cute.

the two of you had been together for a very long time and seeing every child recently made you yearn for your own. so when you mention over dinner one day, wanting to start a family; he’s ecstatic. he’s so happy, staring at you with wide eyes as his face lights up with that stupidly charming smile of his.

“are you serious?” he asks; as if this might be a dream and that you’re lying to him.

“no jayce, i said it just to tease you.” you respond sarcastically. laughing with a shake of your head. you manage a shy glance in his direction as your fingers play with the utensils on the table. “i’ve just been thinking about it recently. seeing all the cute babies around the city during the holidays is just making me…want to start a family.” you add with a smile towards your lover.

who still sits and stares at you with wide eyes. his mouth slightly agape, fangs flashing as his lips curl up in a warm smile. he reaches across the table to grab your hand, his pretty hazel eyes full of love as he brings your hand up to his lips; placing a gentle kiss against your knuckles.

“it’s your call, my love but i would be honored to start a family with you.” jayce hums sweetly. he plants another kiss against your knuckles before his thumb rubs across the top of your hand, soothingly touching you as he practically looks like he’s on the verge of tears. as if he’s waited for this moment for forever.

always so dramatic and you loved him for it.

“i think you’d make a great dad.” you state in a matter of fact tone, giving his hand a gentle squeeze back.

and truly, jayce would in fact make the best dad. you didn’t have to say it out loud to know it was true either; since he was already the perfect partner. you could easily imagine him with a little girl, protecting her from any harm, playing dress up, pretending to drink tea when he’s offered a plastic cup. he’s so sweet and deserves everything good in the world and you wanted nothing more than to start that next chapter in his and your own life.

[thepixelelf]

neurosurgeon wonwoo x reader x neurologist jihoon warnings: hospital stuff in general. an unnamed child patient in a life-or-death situation. I know how hospitals work even less than I know how frats work. wc: 914

love triangle au requests

[the quiet ones] "He's frozen," you tell Jihoon, eyes set on the operating table and the man at the head of it.

Jihoon lifts his eyes from the monitors to peer through the observation window. Wonwoo isn't exactly frozen like you said, but Jihoon can see the hesitation laced in his fingers. "He can't be."

"He doesn't work on children anymore. Hasn't since..."

When you trail off, an eyebrow rises behind Jihoon's hair. "He told you that?"

"He didn't mean to," you say with a sideways glance. Jihoon can tell he's not supposed to know this about the head surgeon in the operating room, but clearly, the situation is dire. "The assistants in there don't know the procedure like we do, Jihoon."

You both watch Wonwoo as he pauses again. His assistants all look up at him for direction, but he says nothing.

"I have to go in."

Jihoon stops himself from shaking his head. "Spark, you just clocked out after your ninth hour. Plus, you were the one who told me Wonwoo could do this. "

"He can, just--" You clench your fist and stop yourself from arguing. Now is not the time. "Let me take over."

Jihoon looks at Wonwoo again. You must be a prophet -- now, Wonwoo is truly frozen.

"Go," Jihoon orders.

You don't look back.

=

Wonwoo thought he was the only one who knew the emergency alarm connected to the escape stairs was broken. Evidently not, when the sound of the crash-bar doors swinging shut echoes off the concrete stairs. Even though Wonwoo can't see it from his position on the cold floor -- his knees halfway bent to his chest and his head ducked behind his arms -- he hears someone sit down next to him.

"Shouldn't you be overseeing someone?" Wonwoo mumbles.

Jihoon doesn't say anything for a few seconds. Then, he sighs. "Not sure if you've been keeping track, but it's been two hours. Spark is taking a well-deserved nap." His knee bounces in a rapid rhythm. "At least, they'd better be."

Lifting his head, Wonwoo looks at the way Jihoon glares down the stairway. His concern for you reads on his face like irritation, an expression he's seen on Jihoon more and more as of late.

He calls you Spark, and he's called you that for as long as Wonwoo's known either of you. It piqued his curiosity when he first heard it, but he's yet to find out what it means. He's never felt close enough to ask.

Stretching his legs out, Jihoon clears his throat. "The operation was a success -- not that you asked."

"No thanks to me, either," Wonwoo mutters bitterly, dropping his head again. That little girl's smile as Jihoon had walked her through the procedure yesterday shines on the inner sides of his eyelids. "I could've killed her."

"You didn't."

"Only because you replaced me with a real surgeon."

"Jeon." Jihoon's voice beckons Wonwoo to look up at him. "You're confusing real with perfect. There's no perfect surgeon, as much as people pressure you to be one. Real surgeons get tired. Real surgeons have problems. Real surgeons freeze."

Wonwoo curls his lips between his teeth. If he didn't, he wouldn't be able to stop them from shaking. He takes a breath. "They didn't."

You finished the operation Wonwoo couldn't even start.

"Sure, just keep convincing yourself that you're the world's worst fuckup. Keep telling yourself that every other doctor here is perfect and this one mistake makes you inferior. Keep thinking all of us are real while you just -- hell -- faked your way through medical school and six years of surgeries that went just fine. Yeah, that makes sense." Jihoon runs a hand through his cropped black hair. He meets Wonwoo's eyes. "Sounds stupid when I say it out loud, right? I'm not gonna bother pulling you out if you just keep digging yourself deeper."

Wonwoo shakes his head, even though he doesn't know what he's saying no to.

Jihoon lets out another sigh. "But someone will." His knee starts bouncing again. "Spark believes in you, you know? Didn't stop believing you could do it even after they took over. They were exhausted, but they still told me where to find you."

You would know, wouldn't you. Wonwoo feels the corners of his mouth begin to press into his cheeks.

"They're stubborn like that," Jihoon muses, eyes unfocused down the stairway, an unconscious smile on his face.

Something settles at the bottom of Wonwoo's stomach. His lips press between his teeth again. "You like them, don't you?"

Jihoon jolts back to the present, his brows furrowing at Wonwoo. "And you?"

"Me?"

"Are you gonna tell me you don't feel anything for them?"

Wonwoo blinks. His mouth opens, then closes. "I... guess not."

"Then that's another thing we have in common," Jihoon says, oddly calm after hearing the closest thing Wonwoo's said to a confession since high school. "Spark's always telling me we'd be friends if we tried. Calls us 'the quiet ones'."

Slowly, Wonwoo tilts his chin. "...I don't know what you're saying."

"Me neither." Jihoon gets to his feet, turns to Wonwoo, and holds out his hand. "I guess-- I can't say you're not good enough for Spark if the two things I know about you we have in common."

Wonwoo takes Jihoon's hand. "Two things?"

After Jihoon hoists Wonwoo off his ass, a shy grin spreads across his lips. "Quiet and in love. Welcome to the club."

[sparks-and-smoke]

Would it be possible to get a fic about Bucky and his GF getting caught on a date by the media. The GF is Pluse size and maybe someone makes a mean comment about her size? Cue protective Bucky who LOVES his girl so much

This is precious. And while I am almost certain you mean normal Bucky I had an idea for a popstar reader soooo. You’re getting Bodyguard Bucky. Ooops~ hope you like it anyway. 🩵

Characters/Pairings: Bodyguard!Bucky x Plus size popstar! Reader

Content/Warnings: fatphobia, body image issues, and illusions to smut at the end. Bucky is gonna be super sweet, but if this kind of thing triggers you steer clear. Stay safe, babes!

Author Note: this is written on my phone, and not beta read. So… extend me some grace :)

It was almost preternatural in a way, the way Bucky could sense when you weren’t ok. The way he seemed to know the moment he walked in your door that he was gonna have to chase away storm clouds, but it never failed. Your bodyguard always knew. And he made it his life mission to keep his sunshine girl from flickering out.

“What have you been reading.” He asked, his face stern and jaw clenched but his eyes softer then they had any right to be.

You sigh, turning off your phone screen and setting it face down, “Nothing, just an article.”

“An article about you?” He asked, tilting his head to try and see your eyes. He already knew the answer, because he followed what the media was saying. From the moment you stepped onto the scene the topic of discussion hovered around your weight more then it had any right to be. It didn’t matter that you had a voice that gave people goose bumps or that your presence on stage could light up a stadium all on your own. Because you weren’t a tiny little Barbie doll none of that seemed to matter.

You had been a beacon of positivity through it all though. Using your platform and following to promote self love and healthy habits at all sizes. Focusing on moving your body and prioritizing health over weight or measurements. Bucky adored you for it. Thought you were an angel, deserving of the world. Ans he wished everyone else thought that as well.

“Stars did an article on me.” You admitted, getting up and heading to the kitchen for some water. Not meeting Buckys eyes. “They are covering my casting in hairspray.”

“Yeah?” Bucky followed closely behind. He was proud of you for landing that role. You deserved it, you were gonna be a perfect Tracey. “What about it.”

You still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s nothing James. There just saying I’m perfect for the role.”

Jame. James?! You never called him James. He was always Bucky, sometimes Bucky baby if you were really in a mood. That’s how he knew whatever they had written had hit a chord. “Angel… what did it say.”

You just shake your head and down your water. It really didn’t matter. It wasn’t anything that hadn’t been said before. To be honest, you don’t know why it was bumming you out so badly.

Except you did know why. Because you had dreamed of being on broadway your entire life. Since you were a little girl. And now… that dream was coming true. But all anyone wanted to talk about was how the plus sized popstar landed the fat girl role because what else could she be…

“Angel. You’re thinking awfully loud over there. You gonna tell me or am I gonna have to pull it out of you?” He stepped in closer. His smoky sweet aftershave wafting around you, pulling your eyes up to look at him. His glacial blue eyes were begging, pleading you to talk.

“They-“ you sigh, shoulders drooping. “They got a picture of me coming out of rehearsal. I’m in sweats, it’s unflattering and the whole article is about how I’ve put on weight for the role. Which I haven’t, if anything I’ve lost some from constant practices. But that’s not the point..” your voice cracks.

“I’m tired James. I am tired of having to be put together all the time or the paparazzi makes it all about how I let myself go. I finally reached what I concider to be a highlight of my career-” You voice cracks. The damn that had been slowly cracking inside your chest finally breaking. “And all anyone wanted to to talk about is how my thighs look in my sweats!”

Bucky was already moving. Pulling you into his arms. Tucking your eyes up under his chin as you shake with anger and frustration. Smoothing your hair from your face and kissing your temple with a lingering touch. “There we go, let it out.”

He lets you rant. Pushing down his own anger and frustration. You were the most beautiful person he knew. Inside and out. He had worked for a couple different celebrities over the years and none had the same golden heart as you. None. “I’m so sorry Angel. It’s a load of shit and we both know it but I know thy doesn’t make it easier.”

He closed his eyes. Kissing your hair. “You are beautiful. Every inch of you. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes. I hope you know that.” He pulls back to look into your red rimmed eyes. Cupping your cheek. “You are talented and charming and you draw people to you like flies to honey. And everyone with a brain can see it. I promise. Whoever wrote that article was poking at low hanging fruit that anyone of substance doesn’t care about. You are perfect.”

His voice drips with sincerity as his eyes roam your face. Pads of his thumb wiping away angry tears. “I think you need to put down your phone for the day. Why don’t you give it to me or to Alice and we’ll focus on things that actually matte today ok?”

You blink away tears, considering it. You could hand off your phone. Let your assistant answer your phone for the day, she will let her know if it’s something she needs to answer directly. But, unplugging was hard-

“Come on angel, we will go punch some stuff at the gym. And then I’ll take you for froyo at that boba place you like.” He tucks your hair behind your ear. “And then you can shower and I’ll help you unwind before you have your go practice tonight. How about that.” His voice was laced with promise. With sweet dark temptation as he leans forward and whispers the thing he could do to help you feel better. And you bite your lip as you know he will follow through on every one.

“How about we shower first?”

Bucky smiles, guiding you back toward your room as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt. “Whatever you want princess, let me show you how perfect I really think you are~”

[wintfleur]

𝓛ITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

aka heathers profile

━━━ ❛ cause she’s that kind of book you can’t put down

ꪆ୧ BASICS .ᐟ

name: Heather Elise Hughes 

nicknames:

tiny (close friends) 

sunshine (everyone)

elie (parents & willy ) 

sweet girl (ellen) 

hattie (brothers) 

heath (jack) 

princess (joe) 

honey (joe) 

petal (joe) 

birthday and zodiac: May 14th 2001, taurus 

age: 23

birthplace: orlando, florida 

location: 

michigan (former)

vancouver, canada (former) 

cincinnati, ohio (currently) 

ꪆ୧ APPEARANCE  .ᐟ

eye color: blue 

glasses? heather prefers to wear her glasses, only really wearing contacts when she just doesn't want to deal with her glasses, usually when she goes out. 

hair color: medium blond 

hair styles: heather likes to keep her hair down at mid-back length, with curtain bangs that frame her face. to keep her hair out of her face and up, she likes putting it in a ponytail or a lower bun, or in two braids. 

skin tone: pale ivory 

height: 5’4 

scars: has a few scares littered across her hands from years of being in the kitchen.

piercing(s): two in both of her lobes 

tattoo(s): none 

face claim: sabrina carpenter 

ꪆ୧ ABOUT  .ᐟ

personality: anyone who knew heather or knew of her, would always describe her as being the ‘sweetest soul’. ever since she was little she's always tried to look for the best in people, treating everyone with kindness and fairness. Heather has a very warm personality, kind, friendly, enthusiastic and she loves showing affection emotionally or physically. Heather is soft spoken but can get a little loud/giggly when she feels happy/comfortable. A lot of her friends have said she has a nurturing personality, and just someone you want to be around and have in your life. Despite her soft spokenness she is very protective of the people she loves, luke likes to joke about her being like a ‘mama bear’ 

good traits: kind, honest, loyal, creative, family oriented, comforting, passionate, grateful 

bad traits: self critical, emotional when tired, an overthinker 

quirks: very affectionate, rants/rambles, nods when she listens to people talk, fidgets with her glasses, is always putting on chapstick, fidgets with her or joes hands when nervous, bites her lip when she's focused 

likes: christmas, animals, boats, cuddling with joe, skating with her brothers, conspiracy theories, her nintendo switch, journaling, singing, natural sunlight, snoopy, trying new recipes, cloudy weather 

dislikes: rude people, scary movies, spiders, being put on the spot, being taken advantage, bad manners, mansplaining  

hobbies: art, reading, gardening, jogging, singing, pilates, hockey, drawing, scrapbooking, knitting 

fears: losing her family, tight spaces, being buried alive, clowns 

strengths: her kindness, time management, her generosity, organized, her intellect 

weaknesses: her kindness at times, doesn't realize when people are using her, gives to many chances to people who don't deserve them, her anxiety, tends to overwork herself, gets headaches easily 

languages spoken: english (fluent) french (learning)

occupation/profession: owner of her own bakery, pastry chef, florist & influencer/singer 

ambition/dream: to have her own family 

current concern: how to convince joe that they should get a puppy 

currently listening to: lovebug - jonas brothers 

ꪆ୧ RELATIONSHIPS  .ᐟ

parents:

Jim hughes 

Ellen Weinberg-hughes 

sibling(s):

Quinn hughes

Jack hughes 

Luke hughes 

best friends: cole caufield, william nylander, olivia grace lennox, sophie carter, elora smith, mark suh

friends: most of her brothers friends & teammates, ja’marr chase, kennedy walsh, joe’s teammates, hailee steinfeld, justin herbert

love interest: joe burrow 

pet(s): a male white cat, named snoopy 

ꪆ୧ MORE .ᐟ

scent: in the words of her closest friends and family ‘warm and comforting’ she either smells like flowers or fresh bread / pastries or her signature perfume Gucci flora. Her scent is very welcoming and warm, and it lingers. She's often thought about when people smell fresh flowers or fresh bread. Her scent isn't overwhelming at all, it's very welcoming and comforting, some associate her with the smell of christmas. 

outfits: a few stable items in her wardrobe is;  her sweaters, her skirts, and tights. Heather loves clothes so she has a large wardrobe. She will wear all different shades of clothing, as long as she matches, she likes to look presentable. her day to day clothing consists of skirts, low rise or mom jeans, sweaters, baby tees, long sleeves or short dresses with tights under them. If she wants to be more comfortable, she likes wearing a pair of loose jeans and a big sweater. Heather is a big boots, platforms and Mary Jane girl, she has a few pairs of sneakers but they don’t normally go with her regular outfits. She likes experimenting with clothes! 

accessories: Heather is a big fan of accessories, she has many different pairs of prescription glasses so she has a lot of options for outfits. She loves wearing hair clips, thick hair bands, ear muffs, berets, bows, sunglasses. for her bags she likes having smaller ones for when she goes out, cute tiny keychains on them, for her more practical bags she likes having keychains on them as well. 

jewelry: heather loves jewelry! But she honestly doesn't wear it on the regular, it usually gets in her way as she bakes and it's just more sanitary if she doesn't wear it at all. She does wear her gold arden diamond promise ring that Joe got her every single day, always putting it in a safe place if she's baking. But for the days she's not baking, she likes wearing a few rings at a time, she doesn't care if it's gold or silver. She’s not a fan of necklaces, but she almost always wears her matching locket that she has with her mom. She owns a few bracelets and always goes back and forth between them. 

makeup: Heather's day to day makeup is usually just some light concealer, some mascara, eyeliner, lipgloss/lipstick, she likes to keep it very light. But on days where she wants to wear more, she likes doing some highlighter, eyeshadow, and sometimes her eyebrows! 

sexuality: bisexual 

health issues?  heather has severe anemia 

ꪆ୧ FAVORITES .ᐟ

food(s): tortellini, carrots, asparagus, steak 

drink(s): hot chocolate, coffee, ice tea, lemonade, dr pepper 

color(s): earth tones, pinks, yellow 

animal(s): dogs, cats, bears, horses (literally all animals) 

bands and artist: ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, florence + the machine, faye webster, beach boys, five seconds of summer

show(s): gilmore girls, yellowstone, outer range, gossip girl 

movie(s): nightmare before christmas, princess diaries, lord of the rings, harry potter 

person: joe and luke 

ꪆ୧ BACKGROUND .ᐟ

heather and alongside her older twin brother jack – by 18 minutes, were born on a bright and sunny monday. 

heather was 6 when she first made her first cake by herself, she often helped her mother in the kitchen and that made her realize her love for baking. 

when Heather was 7 she started figure skating, quitting when she was 17. She was naturally talented at the sport and could have gone pro, but that’s not what she wanted to do in life, 

in elementary school heather was in her first school musical, finding her love for singing. 

heather graduated high school at 16 

from age 17 – 19 (2019 – 2021) heather lived in Vancouver with quinn, for college. 

In January of 2022 Heather moved to Cincinnati, Ohio to fulfill her dream of opening up her bakery/flower shop. 

ꪆ୧ FUN FACTS  .ᐟ

heather started a YouTube channel in 2020 during the pandemic, at first, she only posted baking and singing covers, but she now posts vlogs as well, she has over 6 million subscribers. 

heather has been planning on releasing her first album soon!

heather has modeled a few times

heather along with her two best friends, sophie and elora have a podcast together, it has over 3 million subscribers. 

heather is an extrovert, she's definitely a people person 

heather was very popular in school, having friends in every ‘clique’ 

heather is a very creative artistic person! She loves showing her creativity in everything she does 

heather is a very motherly friend, caring, supportive, comforting, and protective. Not just with her friends but also with her family. 

despite having a busy childhood - teenage life with all her hobbies and studying, she was a very helpful person, helping her neighbors, volunteering, babysitting, or tutoring. 

heather’s two major love languages is physical touch and cooking for people!

heather never does a half ass job. No matter what she's doing, heather is putting in her all! 

heather is extremely close with her family, her family means so much to her, she talks with them everyday

heather had a really bad breakup in early 2021, her and her now ex-boyfriend had been dating since early 2020. At first the relationship was great, but it had turned toxic with the way he was treating heather. Heather was the one to break up with him after he went too far. 

heather had her first relationship when she was 15 for 9 months with her first girlfriend, they still keep in touch with each other. 

heather is easily flustered, something her close friends and family love to tease her about 

heather is very loved by the nhl and nfl world, the fans, media, commentators all love her 

heather was always at the top of all of her classes, she took her education very seriously 

heather obviously has her Bachelor of Science in baking and pastry arts 

besides figure skating and hockey, she is very clumsy with other sports 

heather is only competitive with board games and baking! Other than that, she's not really competitive

her dream is to have a family of her own, she's always wanted to have a son and daughter 

heather was voted for three things in high school, best smile, most creative, and most caring. 

heather loves puzzles, doing them whenever she gets stressed. 

whenever her iron is low (her severe anemia) heather becomes very tired and emotional, she tries to stay cheerful, but you can tell that she’s struggling. 

heather loves shopping! 

Heather loves planning parties and get togethers, she loves getting the people she cares about together and enjoying a great time with them. 

Heather is a very festive person, for every holiday! She loves decorating and dressing up 

Heathers three favorite sports are, hockey, football and f1

lots of people get cuteness aggression with her 

heather has her very own bakery/flower shop called ‘petals n pastries’ 

It's a very warm and homey place, she has a very diverse customer base, from students of all ages, families, people of all ages, etc. But it's mostly college students who order and stay in the bakery. 

The front of the place is where the bakery and seating are held, there is an entrance to the side of the place that leads to the back where there is an outside patio where you can find all the flowers! 

It is a very popular and well-known place despite being a few years old. It's often talked about its delicious pastries, beautiful flowers, the warm and comforting ambiance and the kind and friendly staff. 

Heather never wastes any of the food, donating it to homeless shelters and local food banks, and even fire departments. No flower is wasted as well, donating them to nursing homes, cancer support centers and women shelters. 

Heather is often called a workaholic for how much she works, but she really just loves it, her bakery and flower shop is her dream, and she just wants it to thrive. 

Heather is a chaotic drunk, she always wants to have fun! She’s very giggly and clingy, but she’s the type of drunk that you always have to keep your eye on, because one minute she will be standing there the next she’s climbing something!! she’s definitely the life of the party

heather has three Instagram accounts, her personal one is @/heatherhughes and her private Instagram is @/hattiehughes and her Instagram for her bakery and flower shop is @/PetalsNpastries

Her private twitter, which is basically like her diary, is @/heathhughess

ꪆ୧ POSTS N MORE .ᐟ

heatherhughes just posted !

📍Cincinnati, Ohio 

liked by nicohischier, matthewknies, teehiggins and more

🏷️ soph_carter , joeyb_9

🎵 : suddenly I see - kt tunstall

heatherhughes  ☀️

view all comments 

haileesteinfeld pretty girl 🤩

lahjay10_ joe can definitely see with those big ass glasses 🤣

joeyb_9 bro 😐

heatherhughes BAHAHAH 😭

elorasmithsss cutest girl 😚

elorasmithsss soph really is just cheesing 🤗

heatherhughes our smiley girl 😚

jackhughes please get a dog, I want to live my dog parent life through you 😔

heatherhughes I’m trying to convince Joe 🙏

lhughes_06 snoopy ☹️

heatherhughes he misses you! (pls come visit)

colecaufield oh? back to the guitar era? let’s goooo

heatherhughes my fingers HURT.

_quinnhughes I miss your baking please come back 😪

heatherhughes just my baking?? what about my personality hmm??

justinherbert so I’m gonna need that pie ☝️

heatherhughes I just so happen to be selling that pie…

username the life I want to to live

username her outfits are always so pretty 😵‍💫

username drop joe!!

username how is joe pulling that???

soph_carter the outfits? slaying! the face card? Never declines! 😻

heatherhughes me?? Blushing! 🤭

markSuhhh it’s not fair that my dog loves you more than me :(

heatherhughes no….he loves snoopy more than both of us 😣

joeyb_9 blessing my feed petal 😻

joeyb_9 but why that pic 😭

heatherhughes my handsome nerd 🤓

𝓻oro’s note. oh heather hughes my sunshine girl ☀️ i really hope you guys like her!! she’s so dear to me :( this au is interactive so please send in as many asks as you want!

𝓭ie 𝔀ith 𝓪 𝓼mile m.list

you can find everything for this au under this tag #⭐️ ꞌꞋ ࣪ _ 𝓭ie 𝔀ith 𝓪 𝓼mile 𐙚 . ꒱

˖ ་ taglist : @winterbarnesblog @toasttt11 @iceflwers @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs

©️WINTFLEUR ; you can't copy, translate, reproduce, repost my fic, use my plot or layout.

[lazyjellyfish300]

YEARNING HAS REACHED FULL CAPACITY 😩😭🥹😩💕🥺

Rahuuuuuuuuu 😩😩😩

The angst hit me just right!!! Ohhhh I loveeee comfort fics. 💕🥹

"You will burn for him. You will swallow this agony for him. You will partake of this pain until you grow and grow and spread your incorporeal body across the horizon, too large for this flimsy room to contain. You will grow larger than the sun, even, swallowing all of his pain, even beyond the limits of any threshold you have known, because you - "

<- love him? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 OMG Rahu you mastered at channeling such a selfless love. An unconditional love. Loving to the point of self sacrifice. Kento is always putting his life before his, fics like these are sooo medicinal because we give him what he always deserved, someone who'd do the same for him.

"in spite of this fact, you know that there is a furrow carved in his brow. Even without touching him, you can feel tension radiate from muscles that are always ready to react. Those earnest eyes, always reflecting the dappled shade of a forest in the springtime, taking you in with a scrutiny that would produce the inevitable conclusion."

<- to be known is to be loved. You managed to encapsulate the intimate tenure of a relationship so well here 😩 knowing him so well that you can see him without seeing him. His face his eyes his brow. And the dappled shade of a forest in the springtime 🔥🔥🔥 suchhhh a poetic and creative description for the color brown. Spun from pure magic 🥺

"Oh, to be wrapped in this steady rhythm forever, to listen to the pulse of the resilient muscle beneath the cellular fabric that forms this man you love above all others. How could your mind still creep back to that hellish place when this was laid out before you, the banquet of his all-encompassing embrace?"

<- GODDDDDD and this is where my yearn-o-meter begins to beep at unsustainable levels. 😩😩😩😩This love that runs so deeply you feel it on a molecular level like he's woven into you.....my heart.... You also capture the aftermath of a nightmare SOOOO vividly. That fear that clings and lingers after you've just woken up where you're paralyzed, despite someone as comforting as Nanami right beside you. 😭😭

"You continue, voice loud in the hush of this room, the night so very, very still. Kento's heartbeat is the exception. It pounds with rebellious vitality under your palm." <-

OKAYYYY now I'm starting to go a little bit insane 😩😩😭😭 bc I love him and this writing so very much. He is alive. Fuck the canon. Kento Nanami lives. He lives because we say so. TY RAHU💕💕💕. TY WRITERS. He lives in all of us. Rebellious vitality. Ughhhhh. So gorgeous.

"If what you dreamed about really happened, and I was in a place you couldn't reach, then I would make sure that I would only ever think of you. If the man in your dream couldn't face you, then he wasn't me. It's that simple."

<- and once again I'm here wondering why someone who has never existed stirs my heart so deeply like this. 😩😩 He always knows just what to say. Nanami comfort is a whole different breed of comfort. I wonder if it's due to the tragic theme of his character, because it is so the opposite of his canon story. Idk. But I'm gonna simply bask in it. 💕💕🥰🥰

"A brave sun."

"Brave?"

"To try and outdo you."

<- standing ovation. 😭😭😭 I felt the love. Comfort, tenderness, feeling depth and emotion all wrapped up in the blanket of Rahu's writing. YOU DID THAT MADAM. YESSSS JUST YESSS 💕💕💕💐💐💐

Synopsis: (Reader x Nanami) In the aftermath of a disturbing dream, Kento enfolds you in the solace only he can bring.

Rated: T

Contents: Angst, Suspense, Romance.

Banner artwork: She Did Not Turn - David Inshaw (1974)

Dividers by: @rookthornesartistry

You dream that he is standing in a dried out field, far removed from anything familiar. The alien sun encroaches with terrifying proximity on the horizon, a red collosus, but you feel none of its warmth. It is as if no atmosphere exists around you here, nothing to carry minute traces of sensation from your skin to his across the quivering, paper thin stalks that stab through the earth.

Kento.

Yes, it's your voice, but you have no mouth with which to speak his name. Your presence is a muted one. It doesn't carry any weight here.

He stands, back towards you, and in spite of the chilling distance between your form and his, you can make out the tender part of his hair, which you've run your fingers through countless times when he lays his head in your lap. You can see the way he leans slightly to the left, his straight posture now and then giving way to an old knee injury that plagues him. You watch his hands clench and unclench, reflexively, as he does before setting his mind to a new task, a small gesture of readiness, of his eternal sense of duty.

Kento. What are you getting ready to face?

And why alone?

The stillness of the air is beginning to awaken a restless rebellion in your body. You need to be closer to him. You need to touch him, or that hungry, hungry sun will swallow him up, leaving no trace of him on this fallow ground.

No mouth. No fingers. No legs to carry you to him.

But isn't this how you've always felt? As if you're a powerless spectator, watching as the man you love above all others marches with steady inevitability towards a seething horizon that blows apart under any kind of scrutiny?

How fragile is the human form? How tender is the flesh? You can't help but think of such things, even when enfolded in the vital strength of his arms, even when the sweat of lovemaking cools on your skin and his, and the substantial weight of his body sinks against you, drawn in by the crushing gravity of your embrace.

At those times, you hold him close and wonder at how easily his strength could be shattered, at how frail the connecting web of bone, muscle and blood, everything that made up your Kento, truly was.

Was it monstrous to think that way? Was it so taboo to voice your fears, when you should be dwelling on the sunlit wash of his presence in your home, your bed, your arms?

Forward, forward, you must go further. Push yourself to your limits, as he always does.

The landscape is resolving into harsher shapes around you. Details creep along the edges of your vision, sinuous. There are floorboards beneath your spectral feet. You feel no sensation, but you know that the sun has hardened and bleached them with the same reverence it bestows to the bones of unknowable animals in a flat expanse of desert.

You are viewing Kento through a window, a stark rectangle in the wooden wall, framed in splinters. He is not moving, out there in that dry, dry field, and you wonder how he can bear the heat of that gigantic sun.

A terrible thought strikes you.

What if he is already gone? What if the skin has already been burned from his flesh? What if he cannot move as his muscles shrivel and scorch under that stupendous heat? What if he cannot turn to you, one final time, because he wants to spare you the sight of bone protruding from the remains of charred tissue?

No. No. You cannot let it be. You cannot watch him -

Tangible. Tangible is what you have become, through sheer force of will. You weave your own body into existence, because you must save him, you must reach him.

Kento hasn't moved, but the sun seems closer. It is closer. You have to do something. You have to act, and your helplessness will be no excuse when he is beyond your reach and that of everyone else he knows and cares for -

Your arm, or some half-formed semblance of it, plunges through the window. Something shatters. Sensation floods your mind, synapses flaring to life, their signals propelled with all the reckless fury of a charge on foot against cannon-fire.

It burns, it burns, it is pain, it is beyond anything you have ever endured, but endure it you will, because -

The answer comes to you, spoken somewhere in still-water depths that no sun can reach.

You will burn for him. You will swallow this agony for him. You will partake of this pain until you grow and grow and spread your incorporeal body across the horizon, too large for this flimsy room to contain. You will grow larger than the sun, even, swallowing all of his pain, even beyond the limits of any threshold you have known, because you -

Air enters your lungs in a frigid rush, and you sit up, chest heaving. Your thin nightdress stretches uncomfortably across your skin, and something trickles from your brow down across your eyelid. It stings, blurring your vision. You blink, once, twice.

Someone is calling your name.

There is a hand on your back, firm and grounding. Fingers sweep along your brow, removing the moisture that has collected there.

Kento.

You can barely summon the strength needed to turn and look at him.

There he is.

No scorched flesh, no red, cavernous eye sockets, the gleaming, white sanctuary of his ribs still encased in clean, undamaged tissue.

In the darkness of your bedroom, you can't make out the finer details. No otherworldly sunlight casts his features in stark lines on living canvas.

In spite of this fact, you know that there is a furrow carved in his brow. Even without touching him, you can feel tension radiate from muscles that are always ready to react. Those earnest eyes, always reflecting the dappled shade of a forest in the springtime, taking you in with a scrutiny that would produce the inevitable conclusion.

He doesn't ask you outright; he doesn't need to.

Instead, a hush descends over your senses as his arms come up and draw you close, so close, disregarding the sweat that still dampens your clothes.

Oh, to be wrapped in this steady rhythm forever, to listen to the pulse of the resilient muscle beneath the cellular fabric that forms this man you love above all others. How could your mind still creep back to that hellish place when this was laid out before you, the banquet of his all-encompassing embrace?

No fear can touch you here. No enemy can lay siege to him in this place, protected by the irrational and incontestable vow of sanctity that you have imposed on these four walls.

"Do you want to tell me what that was about?"

His voice stirs gently though your hair, each word laced with infinite tenderness. It almost breaks your resolve to retain control of yourself.

"I had a dream that you ... were far away."

His grip across your shoulder tightens. Kento has seen enough death and despair in the line of duty to fill in the shadowed spaces of that distant landscape himself.

You continue, voice loud in the hush of this room, the night so very, very still. Kento's heartbeat is the exception. It pounds with rebellious vitality under your palm.

"I had a dream that you were standing in a wide, open field. And that there was a giant ... sun in the sky. And it was about to burn everything up, including you. And me."

There is a heavy pause in which the tick of the clock on the nightstand strikes each second with a steel-clad fist.

When he does eventually speak, Kento's voice is low, his words unhurried, as if the reassurance he offers will embed itself in the eternal strata of his world and yours.

"And was I facing you, in this dream? Was I close to you?"

"No. You were ... turned towards the sun."

"Hm. Then that dream means nothing."

"Tell me why."

"If what you dreamed about really happened, and I was in a place you couldn't reach, then I would make sure that I would only ever think of you. If the man in your dream couldn't face you, then he wasn't me. It's that simple."

You can't help the way your lips curve secretly, hidden against the firm heat of his chest.

"Just a dream, then?"

"Hardly worth a single thought."

"Then it was a strange one. Especially that sun."

His head turns, lips pressed lightly against your forehead.

"A brave sun."

"Brave?"

"To try and outdo you."

[agent-44mc]

a mission of liberation. 1995. part one

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Red Guardian

Warnings: none, so far.

Summary: Four years after meeting the Winter Soldier, Alexi Shostakov finds himself face to face with the man he once knew. SHIELD assigns him the mission to find and liberate him.

Word Count: 1k

notes: I don’t know where exactly this is going, I usually don’t do this, but I’m so excited about this ship I had to do something. I'm shrugging right now but in a way that i definitely know instead of what the shrug implies. tee hee. because it's so clear they should fuck so it will happen, trust. also this is unedited. i don't have time for that.

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

Alexi had a good life, doing what he loved. A nice house, a dog, a job that he loved more than anything in the world, students that maybe hated him, even a potential girlfriend. Everyone knew him to be a kind spirit, maybe annoying at times with his loud personality, but after he walks through the doors of his beautiful house, feeds his dog, eats his homemade all american meal, and lays down to sleep in his goose feather bed, he thinks of someone he misses so dearly. 

Someone he knew as his best friend. 

And it didn’t feel good to think about him , like Alexi would die for it to be. His chest eroded anytime his existence was uttered by his subconscious while his mind was at rest. His “good life” kept the thoughts of him at bay, but every night, the guilt only made it worse. 

A smile shouldn’t haunt a man. Often, when the Red Guardian thought of the brutal brainwashing his lost friend had been subjected to, he couldn't help but think of his smile when he resisted it. 

The worst part, somehow, was that he didn’t even know his name. Neither of them did- but at least “The Coney Island Hero” wasn’t subjected to remembering that someone had given him that nickname. Alexi was left to suffer that. 

But there are many distractions from this- one being that he now leads a double life, working for SHIELD, doing hero-work, an umbrella term to describe anything from shutting down Nuclear Cold-War weapons and saving people from burning buildings- sometimes even cats. The bastardly things. 

Until one day, on a mission, he saw someone he’d been dreaming about. 

Alexi never went a day without seeing the shadow of The Coney Island Hero, which is why he almost brushed it aside, but then, he slapped him right in the face- which proved nothing. He was seeing The Winter Soldier now. The Shadow of The Coney Island Hero laid in him, even if he might not remember it. 

There’s one who does though, and Alexi knew that this time, he wasn’t going to lose him. He was going to liberate him, in a true American fashion.

 Brainwashing goes both ways. Alexi was going to brainwash the winter soldier back to the man he knew. The man that deserved to live a life free. 

And for reasons unknown to him, there was something deeper stirring under the surface of this fundamental belief. Something… personal. 

MISSION REPORT. 1995. 

“Get that crying baby out of here, I’m trying to talk to the woman,” Alexi ordered, slamming a fist on Peggy’s  desk with a scowl. “This is important, little girl!”

The baby mirrored his scowl. “I’m thwee,” she said, sticking out her tongue and holding her Dad’s hand a little tighter.

“You are a  very cute baby, I cannot stay angry for long,” Alexi gave in, waving as she walked out, grinning ear to ear at the sight. “Goodbye baby.”

Silence wavered between them as Alexi smiled silently, staking in the sights of the stuffy brown office that overlooked the streets of New York City, various noises fading into white noise as he let himself drift away to another place. It was subconscious at this point. 

Coney Island. He’d been there several times hoping to run into its hero. 

He stayed there until a British accent woke him back up. “Alexi, you came here very passionate about something, would you like to… elaborate further on what you saw?” 

“Uh, what?” Alexi stuttered, “oh, yes. The Winter Soldier. I saw him there, Agent Carter. I knew him, yes I knew him well. He liberated me.” 

“The Winter Soldier? He’s a myth.. An urban legend. What makes you think you know him?” Peggy inquirered, grabbing her reading glasses from the desk in front of her, holding her files out far enough to see. 

Alexi laughed. “You cannot fool me, Agent Carter. I know you know what you say isn’t true. You may be the supreme leader of SHIELD, but I was a supreme leader of the Red Room. I knew of the Winter Soldier. But then, I knew him. He didn’t know himself though.”

She looked at him through her glasses. “Alright, fine. He does exist. But you aren’t supposed to know that. It’s what we’d all like to keep a secret.” Peggy became somber, setting down her files. “What do you mean he didn’t know himself?” 

“I mean,” Alexi began. “We bonded. He got us French fries, we had jokes, and I tried to help him remember what his name was. The best he could do was Coney Island. That means he was the hero, no?” 

“The hero? I doubt he was ever a hero. I don’t know who-“

“But he doesn’t remember. He used to be someone! Someone who is no one wouldn’t remember Coney Island,” Alexi said in confidence, his eyes traveling to outside the window once more. “Even if he wasn’t, he deserves to live free.”

“You’re saying that the Winter Soldier was brainwashed?” Peggy asked, practically in disbelief as her soldiers squared, only slightly looking down at her feet when Alexi earnestly nodded his head. 

She got up and walked around the room, seemingly deep in thought about something, in such a manor that made him twist his fingers anxiously in wait for whatever she was going to say next. Perhaps “you’re crazy, we’re taking your job and your money.”  or worse, “there’s nothing we can do.”.

 Finally, she said, “Alexi, I’m giving  you a mission.”

Alexi shot up like lighting to his feet, turning around the face Peggy, who had her hands neatly clasped behind her back, a serious look of final determination on her aged face. 

“Yes ma’am?” Alexi asked, his heart practically breaking through his ribs. 

“Find and free The Winter Soldier.” 

[devilfic]

it's funny that anon talking about being a late bloomer sent that ask today because I just got done having a conversation about how being a late bloomer can really fuck with your brain. specifically, I think I've narrowed down why it's hard for people who aren't late bloomers to conceptualize why it can fuck with your brain.

non-late bloomers see romantic experiences in their youth as trivial because they've probably had infinitely better experiences since then. they might struggle to understand why anyone would envy that first experience, especially when they're so often... Not Great. meanwhile, late bloomers are still ruminating on when they'll get to have their first experience.

I don't think that having a first kiss as a teenager like the rest of my peers would've made me better off full stop. I do think that it would have assured me, in a real and tangible way, that somebody at least ONCE has wanted to kiss me. and the longer I go on without that tangible evidence, the more it means to me.

because that kiss could have been gross and slimy and otherwise unremarkable, but I would be reassured that at one point in time, there was a person who looked at me and thought, "I wanna kiss you." which feels infinitely better than never knowing at all.

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[crystalslucky]

Crystal listened intently as he gave his thoughts on the situation, nodding along to look as though she was taking it all in. "Death or mass abduction is our only options here? The only way I see mass kidnapping making sense is…aliens. Though, I don't know if I'd give up on the afterlife theory just yet." She had been out in the lake in the middle of the night after all, either death or alien abduction made sense to her as an outcome for arriving here.

"That is kind of weird huh? You get this big group of people and then randomly one offs come around to join the party? You'd think would whoever brought us here just have us all show up all at once and then nobody else, otherwise what's the point of bringing the whole group if you've got a few stragglers every few weeks that you forgot about."

But what did she know, right? That seemed like something that would take way too much time and energy to figure out. Especially when she would much rather focus on Tej than some mystery. At least she might get actually somewhere with Tej, at least she hoped so based off the way he looked at her and licked his lips. "I'm glad you agree. You do strike me as a guy who likes to have a good time though so it looks like I waved down the right person. Maybe you can give me a tour and show me all the best spots on this beach."

Crystal did love the paint splatter effect that his gem seemed to have, from the parasocial knowledge she had of him, it seemed like it suited him. But she wasn't going to say it out loud so instead she posed it as a question. "You into art? Big on paint? Or do these little accents have a deeper meaning than that?" Her own gem, she wasn't entirely sure of. The only blue gems she knew about were sapphires, and it didn't have any special touches like his did. "I don't know. I think it's lovely though. And I do like the idea that I could make someone jealous. Not like I have any control over what I got."

She hummed softly, shrugging at his remark about sneaking into pools. "Maybe. It's also very good when you want some alone time." which in a way was true. Wanting that time to be alone and self reflect, until she ended up here. Then a question meant to be more heart wrenching. Did she really miss anyone? Maybe her parents, despite everything they always did their best to be there for her. But…it was incredibly difficult for her to think about anyone truly special enough to miss. Crystal looked down at her feet dangling in the water, clasping her hands together in her lap and letting out an almost wistful sigh. "I don't really have anyone back home to miss. People in my life are either already gone or don't deserve to be missed. What about you? Feeling homesick?"

Any other concerns? In this moment Crystal didn't think she had any right to have any concerns. Even if her dramatic lore drop caused a shift in the mood, she was still on a beautiful beach with perfect weather, chatting up a hot guy. She was having a great time. "That's about it for now. I don't see this getting dull for me any time soon, I'm a simple girl, easy to please." she answered, giving him a coy smile. "I've met a few other people but not too many yet. Though, you know what I did see that there's that list of everyone's phone numbers hung up. I thought that was so cute and thought it would be fun to text a few numbers to say hi. So there's some I've met just not in person."

"There's actually one," she started, chuckling in amusement to herself as her brain already started to twist the events that took place. "It was kind of funny, kind of weird, I think his name is Zaid? That's what the name was on the sheet next to the number. I think he really misunderstood me and thought I was hitting on him over text. Like, ok, ego much? I was just being nice and all of a sudden he invited me over for 'dinner'." she put emphasis and air quotes around the word, as if he hadn't offered up the information to her that he was a chef. "I don't know what that's all about. But I don't think I'm going, especially if he's some kind of weirdo."

Why were they there. A frost filled his chest, an ice cold spring of dread. Those rows of bungalows did not house as random of a sampling as it seemed. Not when Tej knew a few of them, or discovered being separated by a degree from another. A self-centered view but then again how could he not think that way?

"Yeah," he started. "See, I dunno. Thought maybe I bit it, you know. Died. We're all dead." Tej thought about it enough after Inika, so maybe his wish was granted. "Too obvious, the dead thing? It'd be an elaborate mass kidnapping otherwise, yeah? But, ah. Not sure how long it's been. Months now. Woke up with a big group of people. The first group. Or, first ones in awhile."

Why waste time asking unanswerable questions. Tej wasn't sure he was the type to accept the unknowable or wander blindly through it. However, that did not matter in the moment. Hell, didn't even care if she was real or a figment of his imagination. The anesthetic of grief deadened the nerves for so long, but now they began to feel again. "Enjoying ourselves, yeah." He wet his lips, gaze in a quick sweep over her again. "When you put it that way, it's almost impossible to resist."

She kept his arm in place to admire the stone. "I'm just special, hm. It's nice. An opal, I think. Reminds me of paint. Little splattered specks of the stuff." He did the same to her bracelet, reached out for Crystal's wrist and brushed the pads of his fingers over the blue stone. "Gotta wonder what these mean. Everyone's is different. What about yours. It's bright, clear. I'm sure someone will envy it."

Tej eyed the calm in front of them. Imagined Crystal alone in a pool with only the glow of the water reflected on the walls (the same color as her stone). "Sneaking into a pool? Thought that's reserved for skinny dipping with friends." In a public pool? Nah. He wondered if Crystal was in the community one at Barretto park but decided not to pursue it.

"Fine, not a black out. I might've seen a light. Barely remember now." His chin lifted. "Missing anyone back home?"

Tej thought nothing of the smooth slide from tacos to pizza. Tej nodded with a sliver of a smile. "Everyone's got their favorite place for a slice, but there's not really a bad one in New York, yeah?"

At the word cuisine, Tej sat a little straighter. Shoulders stiff, smile faded. Everything came back to Zaid, and it was infuriating. A star chef probably could whip up a delicious rival pizza using the processed dregs in the warehouse, no problem. Fuck Zaid. "Yeah, shit out of luck food wise. Well, you've seen the warehouse? There's packaged and tinned foods in there. Nothing fresh. Some people are doing the hunting and foraging thing. There is a fishing hole too. Fish jump right into the baskets. If you find a stand or food truck, lemme know."

"Got any other concerns aside from an empty stomach, Crystal from NYC?" Perhaps the easy air she seemed to move through this horror show with should be unnerving. It kind of wasn't. A temporary relief, more than anything. A chance to shut his mind off to the seriousness around him. "It's not gonna get dull dipping your toes in the water every day? Staring at the same crowd. Have you met anyone else?"

[theheroand]

I feel bad blocking my friend on this blog. but she can't see this anymore.

[thisismyworldyeah]

.

[cubot]

I get alone with my thoughts for one second and then my brain goes to the VN love interest route I beat yesterday and I go, "jesus fucking christ what the fuck."

[thegempage]

eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.