#which I very possibly might I love what they did
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no-144444 · 1 day ago
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risotto- l.norris
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summary: brazil was shit.
pairing: lando norris x fem! reader
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Brazil was his chance, and he fucked it up. He’d never been the best wet-weather driver in the world, he knew that. Going from pole to p6, effectively ruining any chance at the title didn’t exactly make him feel very good. All he wanted was some rest, some sleep, some good food, something to take his mind off his potentially fucked career. But you wouldn’t even be home, too busy overseas to even text him after the race. Not that he was mad, but he wished you had been there, even just in Monaco so that he could come home to you and your famous risotto recipe which was definitely not diet-approved, but it made everything ok again. He would kiss you and you would smell like you, maybe you’d even tell him he did a good job. 
When he opened the door to his apartment, he did not expect to hear slow Frank Sinatra songs playing from his speakers, the smell of butter and parmesan in the air, and his beautiful girlfriend humming along to the lyrics as she soft swayed to the music. 
“You’re home,” you smiled gently, making your way over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Well done on getting through the weekend,” you whispered and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 
He teared up slightly, dropping the bag in his hand and tightly wrapping his arms around you, holding you as close as possible. He burrowed his head into the crevice of your neck and sighed, pressing a soft kiss to the skin there. 
You let him hug you for a moment, hugging him back. He was broken, exhausted, and probably way too in his head about it all. You’d seen him do this before, putting too much pressure on himself until it was too late. You patted his back, letting go of him as his arms fell away. “Risotto is 3 minutes away, go get changed into some pjs, yeah?” you instructed. He nodded, yawning and sulking away to his bedroom as you started plating the food. You set it on the table and sat across from him as you both ate in silence. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. “We don’t have to.”
He shook his head. “I’m kind of tired, I might just go to bed,” he explained. “How was your weekend?”
Deflection, he was good at that. You indulged him anyway. “It was fine, boring,” you admitted. “Just a bunch of collecting samples and testing them. The drug trials are going well though. I missed you too much though, so I decided to come back early.” 
A ghost of a smile graced his lips and you felt your worry lessen. “Boss let you off early?”
“He understood the circumstances,” you nodded. Lando chuckled lightly. 
“I love you,” he confessed. You giggled, taking his hand. 
“I love you too,” you smiled. “Now, let’s get you to bed, yeah?” 
“But the dishes-” “Can be done in the morning,” you finished for him, taking his hand and intertwining them with yours. You dragged him into the bathroom to brush his teeth, where he leaned on you from behind the entire time, making the both of you laugh. He even got his camera out and snapped a few pictures, ‘capturing your beauty’ as he would always say. When you both finally got into bed, he wrapped his arms around you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck once more. Everything was right with the world, you two were together, and once Lando had you, he wasn’t too worried about what the outside world had to say about him.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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cupoteahatter · 3 days ago
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I do personally think that like, Evan and Sam are on a slow burn path but in the way of, I don’t think either of them have realised or started to contextualise yet that they’re feeling something alongside that deep profound platonic love for each other.
Now hang on before anyone yells at me hear me out- to start with Sam, we’re witnessing her coming back to this group of people who all love and adore her after being surrounded by people who might adore her, but don’t know her and don’t make any attempts to know her, she’s reuniting with people who very specifically make her feel accompanied and known and it’s not just a text message check up or phone call or an origami bird, she has them in person again for a good period of time after not having them physically with her, so she’s going to stick to “I’m with my friends again, I’m with people who know me and that doesn’t need to change right now.”
(Which is not to say she didn’t feel their love and support even when they weren’t together, that always exists, it’s just more present than before.)
And I don’t think Evan has sat still long enough or without a distraction long enough to truly start to consider it, especially since he and K did break up and that potentially means he’s not thinking about or considering anything other than platonic feelings but one thing about Evan is that nowadays even when he’s alone he keeps that love his friends have for him in the forefront of his mind- Even when he gets insecure about it -these are his friends, they love and they support him so he will do it right back, aggressively. But I think as a result of that he’s staying solidly in a platonic mindset for all of his relationships as it currently stands.
What I do think is that both of them are starting to wake up to the possibility of it, especially with those I Love Yous that suddenly seem to have a double meaning, but neither of them wanna sit still nor have the time to sit and really think about why they’re different all of a sudden, even as they verbally affirm that they’re attracted to one another.
And honestly? That’s the slow burn baby and I am fucking OBSESSED!
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Dear Students,
Miss me? It's been awhile hasn't it. I've been building up the gossip as well as the announcements, thanks to all of the messages I've received from you all. Suck it Quibbler, bet nobody dms you.
Anywho let's get into our announcements for the week as well as congratulate Gryffindor on their win in quidditch this past weekend, as well as a big good luck to Ravenclaw when they go against Slytherin next week.
Of course in good Hogwarts fashion, Gryffindor will be hosting a celebratory party in the common room this weekend, all are invited so make sure to dress up and let the drama unfold ;).
On another note I have been alerted about a surprise exam professor Sprout is planning on assigning her students so make sure to study, but only after the party of course.
As everyone knows winter season is approaching quickly which means Madame Pomfrey will be packed with sick students. The woman is already stressed enough with you reckless gits so please wash your hands and cover your mouths this year.
Now onto everybody's favorite part of this newspaper, the gossip:
Onto relationships, Congratulations to Pandora Rosier and Lucius Malfoy on their new relationship, the two are very cute together. However, has anyone else noticed the amount of flirting Lucius Malfoy does with other girls? If I were Pandora I’d keep an eye on my man.
Now the amount of messages I've received about Emmeline and Mary being, and I quite “SO gay for each other” is honestly insane. I mean, it's so obvious to everyone but them they're in love. Did you see the way they were whispering and giggling to each other at the firework show? Mary couldn't keep her eyes off the girl.
Now onto James Potter. The star quidditch player and prankster is well known around Hogwarts of course as well as his beautiful girlfriend Hestia. However a little Birdy has told me the loving boyfriend might not be so loyal. A lot of people have been suspecting the boy is in love with another. He disappeared the night of the fireworks to go get “snacks” by himself, refusing company and the only other person missing besides himself was none other than Regulus Black.
I have even received an interesting direct message for Mr Potter I will send out after this of course.
I've also been alerted of a possible tension growing between Marlene and Hestia, my supplier lacked on what type of tension so you take your pick. Do you think it's romantic or are the two girls about to give Hogwarts the best fight of the century? Let me know what you think.
Now back to Pandora, it seems as though she's made an enemy? The girl was recently questioned about a kiss between her and Xenophilus Lovegood. The girl immediately denied the rumor, her own boyfriend standing up for her, but he wasn't the only one. Xenophilus Lovegood also stood up for the girl, I suppose he is her friend but could there be something more? Lucius himself has even spoken of concern for where the girl's heart lies. Could a love triangle be brewing?
Onto some more exciting news, James Potter is handing out invitations for his mother's Christmas ball. This wonderful event is sure to be nothing but magical so if you receive an invite consider yourself lucky.
Oh and Remus Lupin's middle name is John.
Now before I sign out I’d like to say a little something. The Quibbler may be fun for little facts about creatures but it's hardly anything if the spelling is incorrect. Xenophilus Lovegood, it's best if you check your spelling and check it twice.
Thank you for reading this week's copy of Hogwarts Confidential and I will see you all next time. 💋
@emmelineandhervans @wormy-loves-ch33se @james-the-amazing-potter @marls-mckinn0n @andromedashoax @little-king-official @severusprince-snape @the-queen-bellatrix @thehotteststarr @lifeofthe-barty @mary-mcdeal @looneymoonyy @lilyevansoffical @xeno-graphical @pandoras-nox @oxxen--free @cas-not-the-band @flowers-of-narcissus @alicethekindone @malfoy-lu @mystical-magical-me @hjonesworld
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thefaithfulnightwriter · 11 hours ago
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𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐀 ~ Chapter One
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Summary - 𝙄𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 the High Lord of Night Court Rhysand and Y/n meet during cruel dark times. During Amarantha's ruling over Prythian. Finding each other during such a time the two secretly fall deeply in love with one another. Both having a rare bond tethering them together... a mating bond. A bond that they both cherished and held close to their hearts. Though they loved each other dearly there was something that was missing. A missing piece they could feel deep within. It caused the two to grow a longing feeling within. It didn't deter their love for one another. But they just knew there was a blank space in their bond. After so long the two mates finally find the missing piece... another mate.
Pairing - Rhysand x Female!Reader x Feyre Archeron
Universe - pre acotar - acowar [it may go into an au after acowar not sure yet though]
Warnings - Gore, Death, Blood, Characters may be a bit OOC, Mature Themes, Semi Smut or Smut NOT Sure Yet, Violence, Language, Abuse, Mention of Past Abuse, Mention of SA and SH (but nothing descriptive), War, Things Will Be Changed Sort Of, Fluff, Angst, Some Sensitive Subjects, Mating Bonds, Poly. Relationship MxFxM, More Will Be Added If Needed.
Disclaimer - I do not own the series ACOTAR - ACOWAR. I do own certain characters, and I own my mc. I do own somethings that are made up. And i own my writing and whatnot you get where im going and what i am saying lol.
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Shaking her head she found herself able to wake up. A groan escaped her lips at the pain in her head and the pain that traveled all over her body. But then a whimper escaped her soon after. Opening her eyes slightly she was met with the ground beneath her moving slowly. Her vision was still blurry. She then felt two strong grips on her arms holding her up. Along with cuffs  around her wrists and a collar around her neck all connected to chains. She then realized that she was being dragged somewhere. Feeling the ground scraping against her legs.
Opening and closing her eyes rapidly she tried to clear her vision. Once cleared another whimper escaped her as she tried to get away from the two holding her. But it was no use because she was too weak. But a cry escaped her when she felt someone suddenly yank at the metal collar around her neck. Causing her to gasp and cough. It seemed there was someone behind her. 
“You better stop. You know Amarantha won’t want a possible new pet to be banged up too much by us. We already did enough when catching her. She’d want to do the rest herself.”  
She heard one of the males dragging her say. After he spoke they were all soon laughing at his words. She was now confused and terrified. But hearing the name Amarantha she realized where she might be now… Under the Mountain. A place she dreaded and wanted nothing to do with. 
She remembered being in the Spring Court with her family. All of them were getting ready to leave the Court together. Seeing that the Spring Court was being watched more closely than the others by the new cruel ruler of Prythian… Amarantha. Her ruling having been for ten years now. They wanted to get away from the constant searching and persistent eyes. They wanted to stay safe and keep hidden.
They had to stay hidden… well more so herself then anyone. Her family wanted to keep her hidden and out of the public's eye. Being she was something or someone very rare. Someone very rare that hasn’t been seen in many centuries. Something rare but also powerful. And it seemed the people knew as well now. As they dragged her through the dark halls and to a room. 
Now closing her eyes, she began to think about it. She could remember what had happened. She was playing with her younger brother Evrin in the forest behind their cottage when her mother and father came running. They had heard that people were coming to take her to Amarantha herself. They wanted to run. But it was too late. Their cottage was raided not long after. Which led her and her father to fight. While her mother and brother ran to hide. As they fought they almost killed her father but she was able to hide him away from them before they could. But as she did at that moment she was captured. 
She just hoped that her family were together and safe. Her mother, father, and younger brother. She knew they most likely would be at their meeting point. A meeting point on the edge of Spring Court leading into Summer Court. But it broke her heart just thinking of it. That she wouldn’t be meeting them. Because she was in the hands of Amarantha now. 
It caused tears to fall down her cheeks knowing that she was in her hands. She knew how cruel she could be having heard of her through the whispers in the winds. She could hear the cries and prayers to the Mother at times. Then hearing of her from the people in the Spring Court, hearing the rumors and stories. She was scared. No, she was terrified.       
She had soon jumped hearing the loud opening of the large doors leading into a vast room. There were many people in the room. As she looked around with tears in her eyes. She saw many with smirks and grins with their gazes on her. But as she looked to the throne in the room there she sat… Amarantha. 
Seeing her causes her to shake in fear. She was quick to look at the ground. Not wanting to meet her eyes. But a yelp escaped her when she was thrown roughly onto the floor at her feet. Her chains clicked on the ground. Which caused many to laugh at her pain. On shaking hands she forced herself to sit up. 
But she didn’t care about their laughter. At that moment she was too scared. She didn’t look up; she kept her eyes on the ground in front of her. Too scared to look up. It was then she heard everyone quiet and then movement. The clicking of heels moved closer to her. It was then she saw black heels come into her view. 
“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing.”
She heard a female speak. She knew that it was Amarantha. She just knew it was her. It caused a whimper to escape her lips as she kept her eyes on the floor. But soon she felt fingers tangle their way into her long hair and then a yelp escaped her. As her head was forced back. 
“So, tell me little fairy what is your name?” Amarantha questioned her with a grin. As she ran her fingers from her hair down to her cheek. Then up to her longer than average fae ear that was pointed. A gasp left her lips hearing Amarantha call her ‘little fairy’. This meant she probably knew what and who she was and that scared her even more.
But she kept her mouth shut not wanting to give her name. Which Amarantha didn’t like. She was then grabbing her sensitive ear and pulling harshly. Causing her to cry out. But she didn’t speak her name. Leading Amarantha to raise her hand and slap her harshly against her cheek. So hard she fell to the floor with a sob. It led many to laugh.
“Oh shut up! Now I am only going to ask this once more. And if you don’t answer me I’m going to cut off one of those cute ears you have. So, what is your name?” Amarantha threatened before asking again. Reaching a hand out she was quickly given a sharp dagger. Sitting up again she didn’t know if she should tell her name. She was contemplating if she should. But she seemed to have taken too long because Amarantha was kneeling again. She then had a harsh grip on her ear and began to drag the sharp pointed dagger harshly on her ear. 
“Y/n! I - It’s Y/n,” She cried out in pain, her ear now bleeding. She knew it would leave a scar. Amarantha was then letting her ear go and grinned, satisfied with the answer. She still had her eyes on Y/n. Who still had yet to meet her eyes. She didn’t seem to care because her eyes were focused on Y/n. She then muttered, ‘hmmm I wonder’ to herself. 
She was then grabbing her cream colored dress and was soon cutting the back of it. A cry was heard from Y/n as she tried to get away. She didn’t want her to see. She had to keep them hidden. But before she could crawl away she was grabbed by the chain on her collar around her neck and pulled closer to Amarantha. Who continued to cut and rip at the back of her dress. As she did, markings were soon revealed and seen. Black lines and curves were marked on her back and the back of her arms. They seemed to be the markings of wings.
“There they are. I guess they were right. A little spy told me that you are a rare powerful creature. A very rare elemental fairy,” Amarantha laughed. But many gasps were heard from the crowd who were looking at her. Seeing the markings on her back. She didn’t know what to do besides trying to hold the front of her dress up. 
Trying to keep herself covered. And holding her bleeding ear. As many more tears fell down her soft cheeks. She was supposed to keep what she was a secret. She was supposed to be a secret… but not anymore. Everyone now knew and many more would know. But a whimper escaped her lips at what Amarantha said next.
“But now you're my new pet,” Amarantha taunted with a grin. She chuckled as she grabbed the front of the collar around Y/n’s neck pulling her closer. She tried to pull away again not wanting to be anywhere near her. But it was no use. She wished she could be anywhere else. But she knew she wasn’t going to get what she wished for. 
“Get her cleaned up and take her to my guest chambers. Oh and don’t try anything with that magic you have little fairy. Those cuffs and that collar will stop it and it will backfire. You will only be able to use them if I see fit and if I give you permission,” Amarantha demanded as she stood up pushing her away. But still with a grin upon her lips. Soon a guard was walking forward and grabbing her arm and dragged her away once again. As someone a female followed after them. A sob escaped Y/n as he dragged her away. 
But there were a pair of violet eyes on her never leaving her. Having felt a pull towards her like no other. Which they knew and understood what it was instantly. They were trying to hide their pain, awe, and shock behind a mask. Trying to hold themselves together and hold back from running to her. Wanting to have her in their arms and to take her far away from this place. But they knew they couldn’t. It took everything in them to keep their emotions in check and hidden to keep their mask in place. Because they just realize they may have found their mate. 
Rhysand the High Lord of Night Court just realized he just may have found his mate. And he couldn’t do anything to take her away from this horrible place and that broke his heart.   
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It had been a few days now and she was stuck in a room, a sobbing mess. After a night with Amarantha doing anything she wanted with her. But just thinking about what had happened caused her to let out another sob. As she curled into herself, hugging herself tightly. She wished that she could be anywhere else and that she didn’t have to go through such things. But it had already happened and there was nothing she could do. And she knew it would happen again and it pained her.
She soon saw flashes of moments of what happened. Feeling Amarantha’s hands on her and more. Seeing the marks she had left on her skin. She was then sitting up quickly. She then started pulling harshly at the cuffs that were still on her and the collar. 
She remembers trying to use her magic while Amarantha touched her. But all it did was inflict pain on herself and made Amarantha laugh at her attempts. Before she threatened to search for her family and end them if she didn’t stop. Which led her to stop fighting and to let her do as she pleased and did as she was told. Not wanting anything to happen to her family. She would make sure nothing happened to them.
Another cry escaped her lips as she made an attempt to use her magic. But all it did was inflict pain on herself. Right now it took to burning her skin. Crying at the pain and memories. She didn’t know what to do besides keep pulling at the cuffs. As she kept using her magic not caring if it hurt her. Not caring if it left marks on her skin. She didn’t care. She just wanted them off and to be somewhere else. She wanted to be with her family. She didn’t want any of this. And at that moment she was so lost that she didn’t realize that someone had entered the room. Opening the door quietly sneaking into the room. But seeing her they were quick to move to her. 
She jumped when strong large hands came into view and grabbed hers. Careful of the cuffs on her wrists digging into her now damaged skin. Making sure not to touch them. But quickly stopping her from pulling at the cuffs on her wrists and from using her magic. A cry escaped her once again as she tried to pull away. But they kept a gentle but firm grip on her. As she looked at the one who stopped her she gasped just as they did. 
Her eyes clashed with violet ones. 
Both looked perplexed at each other. Because as soon as their eyes met unexpectedly a golden bond formed slightly stronger between the two. That was now noticeable to the two. A rare bond that they could feel in their chest… a mating bond. But looking at him taking him in, she knew who he was instantly. 
He was Rhysand the High Lord of Night Court. He was truly handsome. The stories and rumors didn’t do him justice. But as she looked at him he looked at her with awe. Yes, he knew she was probably his mate a few days ago. But now he knew it for sure… she was his mate. And he couldn’t help but look at her in awe. He couldn’t believe he really found her.  
Y/n though was stuck in thought. Having remembered hearing the rumors about him. And she didn’t know what to think. She didn’t even know what to say. She was frozen with her gaze on him. He was her mate. She didn’t know how to feel. She didn’t know if she wanted to wrap her arms around him or pull away. But she soon shook her shocked state away when he let her go gently. Not wanting to overwhelm her anymore than what she already was. He didn’t want to do that to her.  
“Sorry. You were… hurting yourself. I - you shouldn’t do that,” Rhysand said after clearing his throat. After stumbling over his words slightly. His eyes still on her taking her in. She was gorgeous. But taking in her state and the scent lingering in the room he knew what had happened. He knew what Amarantha had done to her, his mate. 
It led him to clench his jaw in anger. It was such a strong emotion that washed over him. Which caused her to flinch feeling such a thing through their new bond that they shared together. But she shook it off seeing Rhysand send her a small smile that said ‘sorry’. She after a moment couldn’t help but look at him and say it. Still in a state of shock that he was her mate. She couldn’t help but voice it.
“You’re m - my mate,” she whispered, afraid to say it louder. More so stating a fact then asking. Not taking her eyes off of him. She couldn’t believe she had just found her mate. Nor could she believe that he was the High Lord of Night Court. And now as she looked at him he didn’t seem like the one from the rumors she had heard from people. He seemed kind, vulnerable even as he looked at her. But she soon remembered what the winds had whispered to her about him. She watched as a small smile washed over Rhysand hearing her say such a thing. 
“Yes I am. But can you come with me, my flower? If you want,” Rhysand cooed. Reaching out a hand for her to take. Waiting for her to reach and take his hand in hers. Giving her the choice to come with him. Looking from him to his hand she was hesitant. But after a few seconds she shakingly grabbed it. She didn’t know where he was taking her. But part of her wanted to follow him, her mate. She thought he wouldn’t hurt her right. So she did follow after him. As she kept a close watch on the bond they shared. Taking notice of slight emotions flowing to her from him. Shakingly she began to crawl her way out of the bed. 
As she got off the bed she almost fell but Rhysand was quick to catch her by her waist. Keeping the blanket in place that covered her bare body. Sending her a smile before removing his hands from her waist but kept a hold of her hand. He then began leading her to a door that led to a bathroom.
When they entered the room, Rhysand moved her to stand near the sink. As she stood she watched him move so gracefully and with purpose. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. She watched as he filled the large tub with warm water then added oils and what not. And after he was done she then watched as he held out a hand for her. Looking at his hand she took it again. He then moved her to the tub and took a step back. 
“I will be out in the room if you need me. So we can talk when you are done. Take as long as you need. I will wait,” Rhysand informed her, about to leave the room wanting to give her privacy. But before he could turn and leave she stopped him. Keeping a firm grip on his hand. Leading him to look at her with a slight tilt of his head with curiosity. It was then he saw she now had a fearful look upon her face as she looked up at him. 
“You’ll actually stay right? You promise,” she asked softly but with a shaky voice. As she kept her gaze on him, her eyes never leaving his. She didn’t want him to leave her. Not after she just found out that he was her mate. She didn’t know exactly how she felt about it. But she just didn’t want to lose him so soon. A part of her wanted him close and near. She just wanted her mate. Seeing her look at him in such a way caused him to send her a small meaningful smile. 
“I promise I won’t leave you. There are things we need to discuss. Plus I just found you… I’m not leaving your side unless I need or have to,” Rhysand soothed. Bringing her hand closer to him he pulled her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss upon it. Careful of the cuff still around her wrist that no longer had chains connected to them as they did when she first came. As he did such a gesture he sent reassurance to her through the bond. Which led her to sigh in relief. 
Nodding, she watched as he released her hand gently and left the room. Giving her privacy as he closed the door gently behind him. Sighing again she turned to the warm steaming bath. Taking in the scent and bath caused a small smile to wash over her. Thinking he did such a thing for her. She shook it away and allowed the blanket to drop and stepped into the bath.        
As she sat and started to clean herself. She began to think about her mate… Rhysand. Many thoughts came to her mind. Remembering what she had heard from the winds about him. Then hearing the rumors that fae said about him. A sigh escaped her lips not knowing what to think of him. But then a thought came to her mind causing her to freeze.
Would he even truly accept her as his mate or reject her? Thinking it caused a soft gasp to escape her lips. Before worry filled her. Would she survive such a thing… rejection? Would she survive him not wanting her as his mate? Taking a deep breath she soon released a tired breath. Before hugging her legs to her chest and leaning her head on her knees. Closing her eyes she took deep breaths trying to keep her tears at bay. Then another thought came to her mind.
How were they even going to go about this bond in such a place if they were to accept each other as mates? If they did they would most likely have to keep it hidden. And soon many more things came to her mind. Hitting her like a crashing wave in the ocean almost drowning her in the depths of dark waters. 
Many bad and horrifying thoughts washed over her mind. But she was quick to try and shake her head. She tried to calm herself but found it hard. That is until she felt reassurance flow to her. Starting from her chest and flowing throughout her body. She knew it must have been Rhysand through the bond she has yet to really fully grasp. She couldn’t help the small smile that now washed over her. It caused her to sigh again before she started to wash herself once again. 
In that moment she stopped her motions as she remembered one of the things her mother always says to her. 
“Take one step at a time. Take it minute by minute, day by day. We have long lives ahead of us. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time with certain things. So there’s no need to worry so much all at once.”
She remembered her mother saying to her once. And repeating such a thing on more than one occasion. It caused her to smile thinking of her mother. It felt like forever since she last saw her mother. She just hopes that her family is safe after everything. She then shook the thought away trying not to overthink about them. Not wanting to sink into such worry and thoughts.
After she was done washing she soon made her way out of the bath. Grabbing the towel that was already out. Drying herself off, she looked at the mirror to find herself staring back at her. Her eyes didn’t have their usual bright glow. Her skin was paler without having a certain glow. Her body was littered with marks and scratches. Then there were the collar and cuffs on her that were very noticeable. She could see the red marks that were under them.
But she was quick to turn and move her long hair over her shoulder to look at her back and arms. The black lines and curves and marks were still there and intact… her wings. They were still there. But there were a few marks causing her to sigh. Her back was and always would be sensitive along with her long pointed ears. Which led her to reach to her ear that now had a long scar on it. She didn’t like it but she would have to live with it. She would have to live with everything causing her to sigh in defeat. 
Shaking her head of such thoughts. She soon tightened her grip on her towel around her frame. Looking at the sink she found a dress neatly folded with undergarments. She wondered when they appeared but didn’t think much of it. Knowing Rhysand must have used his magic to make them appear for her. It made a light blush appear over her cheeks thinking of it, about him. 
But she didn’t linger on the thought long. Not wanting to go down that path. Not yet anyway. Not without talking to him first. To see where they stand. Reaching out she was quick to put on the clothing and then made her way to the door. But she stopped in front of it for a moment.
Listening, she could hear the flipping of pages and the sound of a soft heartbeat that seemed to quicken sometimes. She knew who it was… Rhysand, her mate. She could feel how close he was through the bond they shared. With the mating bond they share she didn’t know what was going to happen between them. All she could do was hope that all would go well. Soon she was gathering up the little courage she had. She then took a deep breath and opened the door. So she could face what was to come with her now having a mate. 
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moonspirit · 3 days ago
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Why do people hate Annie? Is it because she’s a complex character, or do they lack understanding? Do you think Annie tried to manipulate Mikasa in episode 83 or 84? If so, what did she hope to gain from it?
Hello again!
I think the bulk of the reason has already been covered by @annawayne in her excellent answer to you here, so I thought I'd just simplify mine and instead elaborate a bit more on the role Annie reprised before she crystallised.
The very thing that made Annie such a formidable shifter was in the fact that she expressed quite a bit of "sadism" (for lack of a better word) in her killing of the Vet Scouts - and that pissed off a lot of people. Zeke wasn't a known character at the time (and who, by all means, was far worse, with even the intent to show for it) so there was no measure for comparison. But it's easy for a first time watcher to go through this scene and think Annie enjoyed that, when in fact, she very much didn't, and was just playing her role of being a dangerous enemy.
She was taught to be this.
I honestly think that the effect of Annie's upbringing that translates into why she is the way she is, is missed by many people. All of the warriors had terrible childhoods with shitty parents, but Annie's father is a special case. I'll deal with that in another post, but it's very important to keep in mind that no child is "like that" just because. Annie's father made her into the kind of person she believes herself to be in large part. She has not known love. She has not known what it means to be held gently. She has not known genuine connection. She has not known compassion. In her time in Paradis she experiences many of these for the first time, including the chance to express these to other people, but it is not enough to undo the years of abuse she went through as a child.
Like Anna said, she is a child soldier sent to war as a tool just like Reiner and Bertholdt, but unlike Reiner, who had substantial screentime to reveal his past, and unlike Bertholdt who was rather meek and more a "follower" than a leader, Annie disappeared for a long time, and even when she came back, her cold pragmatism didn't really serve to help public perception swing to her favour.
But her cold pragmatism has a reason to exist - and that, imo, is because of why she is the way she is.
She's a genuinely amazing character, and her motivation to live is also very simple, i.e return to her father, which is, honestly, far far more realistic than something grand and larger than life, for example. Is it selfish? Yes. But can we relate to it? Also yes.
Coming to Mikasa, do you mean the scene around the fire in Night of the End? I don't believe Annie was manipulating Mikasa there. Mikasa is an emotional person, far more prone to being reckless than Annie for example; if either Armin or Eren is at risk, we've seen her lose her marbles. Annie isn't like that. Annie prioritizes what's important, distances her feelings and actions from each other, she's more calculating and realistic than Mikasa is. Imo in that scene she was just pushing Mikasa to consider the possibility that negotiations with Eren might fail, considering the Rumbling that he'd already initiated at that point, and on a much larger scale than Armin had believed he'd do.
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slimejugular · 2 days ago
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Did you see episode 14? Did you see Deep Bite's theme video on youtube? Deep Bite saying something towards Red Blitz like "This guy secretly had feelings for me? He's cute!" Is making me want to explode. I've been eagerly awaiting seeing your thoughts towards ep14 lol
yes to all ^_^ I'm genuinely piqued someone is eager to see my thoughts on MCB, so you get a LARGE chunk for your appreciation.
Sort of disorganized and not proof-read, apologies.
For Deep Bite's theme video:
Did he really say Blitz was cute? I mean. I want him to have.
On YT, the auto-translate was along the lines of Deep Bite thinking him soft-hearted. Nonetheless, still wanting-to-explode-inducing for me too…!
I swear, his commentary mentions Red Blitz multiple times. Stop talking about him, sheesh. Joking.
For episode 14:
• Red Blitz noogie-ing Deep Blitz all scathingly is silly BUT,
if you consider that IRL sharks have super sensitive noses, no wonder Deep Bite 180'd in attitude and transformed in SECONDS. Red Blitz must have been overwhelming the hell out of the sensors concentrated there.
Or not! Discrepancies between alt-mode and robot mode, possibly there are no sensors at all, just a fun assumption on my part. But he does get awfully heated quick, it is suspicious.
• Red Blitz switches between calling Deep Bite 물고기 'mulgogi' (living fish) and 생선 'saengseon' (fish you eat) which is funny /sob
• When Red Blitz is downed during that one part, with Deep Bite raising an optic, the dialogue from him there is amusing…"is it already near your bedtime, you baby" something-something. I love the teasing dynamic going on here. Pretty Please pettily insult each other more in the future, guys
• Musclehyde and Blue Cop being a combination of curious and confused—by the trope of fighting for friendship—is a nice detail. I find it interesting it's not a rite of passage on Machina, considering how bots are rather eager to fight instead of discussing matters.
• I was confused as to why Deep Bite was able to move around Red Blitz in his alt-mode, or. It's that his systems interpret the steam from their clashed attack as "being in the ocean". He does not float around past that particular scene and only hops (in my defense).
• Rock Crush's giggle is so gosh-darned cute 🥺🥺🥺and the tape-on brows Peruru pulls off later ugh. The mole analogy being stylistically animated was lovely on the team's end
• Directly quoted from my IMs
"-sad that the first thing deep bite does when he finds out people aren't afraid of him is that he goes in for an affectionate touch"
"…touch-starved"
"Instantly clasps a hand on the shoulder of a stranger"
(self-explanatory)
Also, Deep Bite taking on the guise of an outlaw, and for Glober to have befriended him somewhere at that point in that time, has. many implications. you can ponder.
Maybe, Glober is the only person that Deep Bite has had affection from…a tragedy that I hope fan writers for the show will touch on, too delicate to be handled by me ahaha :(
Another thing. I was amused by the fact that he laughs for so long—no one's even laughing with him after a while—but you know what? It might have been because he's finally found a WHOLE group of people willing to accept him for him and he's exhilarated with the alien idea and thus expresses it by being so awkwardly upbeat for first meetings. I am miserable.
• Why is Blue Cop recording HAHA??>? This play is too important to Jun to not be captured. His first installment in theatre directing.
• Musclehyde's horns with the capability to pop off make me think of Chiyo Mihama pigtail shitposts. He should swap them out to celebrate Christmas, pretending to be one of Santa's 12 reindeer. It's also stylish? If you think about it?
• Deep Bite is specifically very handsome @ when the force of him pulling the crane, causes Red Blitz and Blue Cop to flip upside up?!!!?#R(U! Sigh.
• Deep Bite's tail language…When Red Blitz walks away, it droops a bit together as he groans (in likely disappointment), but THE TAIL WALIGNGGG WHEN RED BLITZ ACCEPTS HIM????! UUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok he's so cute he's also making little like. Chuffing noises here omg. Omg.
And Red Blitz' tsundere attitude. Turning his back and everything and the hands on the hips, caught red-handed when someone bugs him about being dishonest. Astonishing.
Cough, also if only Dexter's scoop was animated to show off emotion like this.
• I really do value the voice work Red Blitz' VA puts out. His voice has this roundness, it's snarky, it's nasally, it's naive, and sometimes even a bit intimidating. I'm biased. I'm not sure of the exact Hangul, though the way he was saying hurry(?) is something I enjoy; it fits his characterization well!
• Deep Bite being the second guy to peacefully submit to Jun 🥺the 잘 부탁해 'jal bu-tak-hae', "please take good care of me" AUGHHHH!!!!!
Overall. Loved it. 10/10 all characters got a pleasant spotlight.
Thanks for your interest ^_^
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raeofgayshine · 11 months ago
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Best decision of my life was spending my Christmas money on an art commission of the silly little au Tim I’ve been building with a friend. I got the finished piece today and just keep staring at it and it makes me so incredibly happy to see him and it’s helping give me the motivation to write (and the courage! I hit such a block with feeling like my writing isn’t good enough but this makes me want to do it anyways) and I just adore it. I can’t stop smiling. And fuck now that I’ve done one piece I can tell you now, I am already waiting for my birthday money so I can commission something else, though I still have so much time to decide what.
Art make me happy! Art of my fucking funky little guys makes my day, I’ve covered my room in fan art I’ve bought from redbubble, and now that I got over the initial scaries of my first commission, I am ready to reach out and get something else that will bring me joy.
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transmascutena · 9 months ago
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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thesauce8 · 6 hours ago
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dude, i know this is crazy, but i promise i only found you here by accident. this is funny. anyways, half of what you said i didnt say or you misunderstood, but you blocked me before i could clarify. tt format is very unhelpful when you need to flush things out, so i probably didnt properly articulate my point over there. i told you i wanted to help you understand (or for you to help me understand your point), but you were having none of it. when we were talking, i kept citing my sources for my beliefs through quotes but you refused to cite yours and just retorted that i was wrong. i cant exactly look back at my comments, but if i started out rude or judgmental, i apologize. that was immature of me. ive seen a lot of misinterpretation of obito, so i tend to assume the worst.
i didnt say that obito didnt love rin (and if i did, it means i phrased myself very poorly, but i remember clarifying this in a later comment), i said that the romantic aspect of their relationship was completely unrelated to the conflict obito faced with kakashi (post-accident) and the world because your video and caption phrased it in a way that made it seem like you thought the conflict was breeded from it. obito and rin being besties is the important part that a lot of people ignore in favor of painting obito as a simp and diminishing the depth of their bond. the crush and any contempt derived from it towards kakashi was only relevant pre-accident, which i said because you stated in your caption something about obito needing to accept rin chose kakashi when referring to her death.
i am willing to hear you out on obito blaming kakashi *if you cite your sources!!* please give me a quote or something because thats what i use to form my opinions. the reason i dont think obito blames kakashi is because right after rins death, he says he didnt kill kakashi because he didnt care about what happens to him since he’ll see the real him in the IT. he didnt know rin killed herself, but he also didnt seem to have a particularly strong (or existing) hatred towards kakashi. if you give me a quote that shows he did hate him, i wont be stubborn.
i also dont know where you got me saying kakashi and obito werent friends? i said they werent best friends; rin and obito were. they had a rivalry and cared about each other, but their relationship was a little rocky, and obito states that they were just starting to get along right before his consciousness faded after getting crushed by the rock.
obito trying to kill kakashi doesnt mean he hates him (sounds crazy, i know, but its not impossible). obito dissociates and sees this kakashi as a “fake”. he tries to kill and mocks kakashi because of practicality. killing is what you do to those who oppose you (when youre a villain lol) since they’re problematic. mocking him throws him off his game, which makes it easier to kill him. the real kakashi is gonna be in the IT, and he’ll see him there. this kakashi is also a connection to his past self, which may contribute to his desire to eliminate him.
its the same reason he kills so many people despite wanting everyone to live in a world free of pain and suffering. to him, these people are imposters, and the real them (and him) will exist within the infinite tsukuyomi. this kakashi is scum, he himself is scum, everyone who isnt scum will become scum. he didnt experience a change of philosophy when he offered kakashi peace in the IT because he didnt call kakashi scum out of hatred. he knows that the world forced kakashi to become scum, so he doesnt blame him for rins death, and thats why he feels this world is a hell. it forces everyone to either become scum or dead.
as you can see, a whole essay was needed for me to explain my thoughts, which might explain any poor delivery on the app that heavily limits the amount of characters you can use in a comment. i still think its hilarious that this came up on my home page. its possible youll block me here too, but at least my thoughts have been released in full.
sooo chat apparently obito never loved rin, obito & rin we’re only best friends, apparently obito never blamed kakashi at first (before he got over it and told him he STOPPED blaming him), apparently obito & kakashi never were friends at one point or got along until the tree incident. 🤷🏽‍♂️
as if obito didn’t hate and blame kakashi for the entire incident at first and tried to kill bro buuuut okay! :))))) those are the kind of comments I’ve been getting on TikTok for talking about the kakashi obito rin situation xDD but no none of that stuff happened (being sarcastic).
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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months ago
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“least favorite” isn’t anywhere close to bad. it just shows how damn hard the competition is going, but we’re talking about gold medals all around for each actor i’ve seen portray the doctor so far.
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homosociallyyours · 7 months ago
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ereborne · 8 months ago
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Song of the Day: March 26
"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan
#song of the day#you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll)#they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs#I love them. I adore them#'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable)#'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain#Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain#they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain'#what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy#anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/#I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times#which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is)#but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful'#and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday'#and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--'#and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning'#and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--'#and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about'#so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both#which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything?#it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/#(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better#and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it#hmm maybe yeah)
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cementcornfield · 3 days ago
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actually, posting this reply here because EXACTLYYYY @chasedeys
i remember talking to nacs and maybe some other people about this when the first Incident™️ happened lmao. where 2 years ago in vegas, ja'marr first said A. that he was the one who dragged joe out to vegas in the first place because 'he's a great person who deserves to go out and live his life' but then B. the next day said they never hang out or talk outside of football and like!!!
it has to be just basic insecurity lmao. and the context of everything....ja'marr did a lot of interviews that first day and EVERYONE was asking him about joe's contract, and sweet naive ja'marr just answered his thoughts honestly on what he thought might happen, which of course caused a huge media storm of everyone trying to interpret what he said and if it was all actual fact and what it would possibly mean for Joe Burrow's Contract, so i imagine he may have had to deal with a bit of backlash about that. PLUS if i recall correctly, that night, there were a bunch of pictures of joe hanging out with the bosa brothers and other random 49ers at some fancy dinner....ja'marr nowhere to be seen 😭
so like, those two factors leading to the next day where he gets YET ANOTHER QUESTION about joe (who he thinks maybe might be mad at him for talking about his business, and who didn't go out with him the previous night but went out with a whole bunch of other dudes instead) and he's just like ACTUALLY WE DON'T HANG OUT WE'RE NOT FRIENDS I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM WHATEVER 😤😤 is one of my favorite theories about why ja'marr is Like That sometimes.
then you factor in joe recently saying that ja'marr tells him his feelings through media!!! like joe seeing that interview all confused like ??? we went to vegas together?? love love love the fact that joe DOES watch/read all these insane interviews or at the very least has His People tell him about whatever the fuck ja'marr is saying.... oh i love them WHAT a dynamic!!!
the thing is like. joe is stoic and reserved and private, but he's actually very Uncomplicated in his love for ja'marr. the amount of times he's come straight out and said ja'marr is one of his best friends over the years... meanwhile ja'marr will say ten thousand conflicting things about if they talk, if they hang out, etc. but joe's just out here like, yeah that's my best friend 😌
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lith-myathar · 9 months ago
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#so#here is the thing#when you've spent most of your life in a very happy relationship with fantasy#the idea of having a relationship in *reality*#well that may not be very happy. might result in feeling like your heart got ripped out your asshole. but even ignoring that#suddenly the amorphous idea of a partner (which can be anything) takes the shape of an actual person#which can very much only be one thing. this feels like doors closing. feels like getting trapped#part of the difficulty here is that i have difficulty not thinking in the long term (this is a defense mechanism apparently) so#even allowing the possibility of being with someone feels confining#because what if the reality is painfully disappointing (like everyone keeps telling me it will be#bc nothing can measure up to the fantasy) and then im trapped between a lifetime of disappointment and breaking somebody's heart#like. fantasy and Yearning leave one empty to a degree but they've kept me *alive*#and how could the reality ever have that same emotional high while also being Safe and in control#also it doesn't hurt anybody#my over the top desire for intensity feels like something nobody's ever going to want to match. too big. too much. unhealthy prolly#even if they did it wouldn't necessarily be a good thing#so. better maybe to quarantine myself to fantasy.#the Rewards of Being Loved tho. i want those.#realistic and rational part of me knows that Those are the Real Good Healthy Thing that will help the pain#but damn if im not attached to my little pet torments#what if i don't want to be healed? does suffering and trauma just sort of get you addicted to the intensity of emotion and then you're jus#chasing that forever? is anything healthy ever going to feel like Enough???#like how do you just ask somebody ''hey do you want to crawl inside each other's rib cages and take everything way too fucking seriously#so we can attempt to maintain a perpetual state of Desire and the subsequent altered state of consciousness until we both die?''#''but in like a chill way?''#like that's *insane*#im insane. is there any way to have both???#ugh. anyway. don't get crushes this sucks.
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muu-kun · 1 year ago
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Speaking of fashion, I will eventually have the appropriate amount of time to dedicate myself to a proper attire headcanon post. For now, I only have examples for silhouettes pertaining to dresses gathered. Which at this point can ultimately be narrowed down in explanation as Muu holding preference for a bodice that does not require even just a modest breast size.
Although he does wear bralettes (which is not out of gender dysphoria or euphoria on any account actually. Instead, it is more so like a running joke with himself at this point due to the fact he's actually had an infatuation with wearing them since he was a sixteen year old boy that found a bra lying in the street) he doesn't do so with the intent of applying padding to them-- especially when considering the fact he has some minor gynaecomastia due to stubbornly persistent baby fat going on. He can deal with those, but he definitely doesn't want to even so much as imply he has "real breasts."
He also isn't one to gravitate towards those built around the necessity for breasts due to the fact that he does not wish for the attire adorning his body to appear as though something (or somethings) is missing. Which is also the given reason why even in his decision to wear what is considered women's underwear underneath the dresses similar to above, he does not engage in the act of tucking. Yes, that does come within treacherous territory per the fact that he is then advertising himself as a flamboyantly youthful individual with an occasionally visible (and not incredibly well endowed, mind you) genitalia outline in his attire. That's not even to mention the detectability of his disabilities on establishing conversation with him.
Beyond that, he's not too partial to much else. Length and material is otherwise irrelevant as long as he can freely move within it to accommodate an in-between active and sedentary lifestyle. He would also best appreciate those that are not overwhelming to the senses in one manner or another-- this includes itchiness, heaviness, lack of breathability, and so on. Textures usually aren't too worrisome to him, however, as he has been raiding the closet of his female friends (such as Hannah of @kannojo predominantly) for years, so by now he knows what he does and doesn't like with enough ease that even unexpectedly finding something is unappealing to him van be easily remedied without any fit.
The bottom line with all of this is while Muu strictly wears what is primarily marketed as women's clothing, he does not do so out of the desire to be a woman. In fact, he's asked that question within himself many times only to come up with the same conclusion each time: He is simply an aged up boy caught up in having to navigate too many things at once, therefore eccentricities intended to lighten his load have transpired. Being that 99% of abusers have been men throughout the years, and women his sanctuary from them, it became sensible at some point for him to cease one struggle for favor of mirroring his safety while he sources through another. Muu has no idea even how to be a person yet, let alone a gendered one.
That is also not to say he wishes to abolish entirely in favor of utilizing they/them pronouns. In fact, it still remains quite the opposite. At this time in his life, he's not looking to be othered more than he always has acquired for himself. Being gridlocked into a perpetual state of regression in his present has been isolating enough as is that he doesn't wish for more beyond that. It also has intriguingly been almost beneficial in keeping some of his identity centered, though, as being so interwoven with his inner teen provides connection with the perspective of character held back then.
When he was sixteen, he was very self assured in nearly all aspects in life until led to second guessing the bulk of them. Of those is one of which where he was well adamant that he was a boy with a preference for he/him pronouns to demonstrate that. And while he's been able to find appreciation for femininity that he'd have otherwise mocked in his youth, that is as far as it goes for the time being. Working beyond the semantics of that just isn't on the table at this time in his life.
Where he might go with it during Pride Month is still up to him, but, really, his focus is far more centered on fulfilling and answering other aspects of his person at this time. Generalized comfort and safety are of the utmost importance to his emotionally led manner of living. Once that is established, whether or not he opts for reintroducing what is considered men's attire back into his wardrobe is completely up in the air.
#; ♡ ; headcanons#muu doesn't even necessarily actively consider himself nonbinary due to the fact that he's open to the possibility#that he will feel centered in his identity as a man just as he was with boyhood once he is no longer Terrified to exist as is#identifying as genderflux in some aspect is definitely a cluch for him in regards to#when you've heard from people your whole life that you are not a man for aspects relating to maturity and physical appearance#you eventually may find yourself going I'm not a man maybe!! Out of safety and hopefulness that doing so might make people be kind to you#socially he definitely feels abandoned by masculinity and blocked out of spaces by his peers#but being a woman has never fit right in his head either as he genuinely knows he does not Want to be one#what he wants to feel included and wanted with so the bulk of muses who've so far made him feel that way are women#and only really a couple men at best with fran at the top of the list#women wise he has neff who he has commented even himself to be the only person not including his canon wife#to love him unconditionally#and suki who after one stint or another involving sully and calix was the only person to ask him how he was feeling#I'm also including lyla per the fact that she is one of few he can be fun and funny with which may not sound like a lot#but when you carry the burden of holding a notoriety for being melancholic it is actually really an act of kindness#to be considered something other than that even just once because he did used to be very cheeky back in the day#nowadays he just spends so much time worrying about what characteristics of himself must be so grotesque to others around him#that he's lost the ability to even breathe too loud around another person let alone take up space and time beyond that#which is actually why I find it very fitting he wears women's clothing because which section of the binary has gone centuries being told#to stay out of sight and out of mind for their own safety ??#not to mention the fact that can one really be too surprised that someone deeply in need of nurturing spaces#would then decide to dress like a woman because of the connection with motherhood#being that moms are usually the poster parent for unconditional love which is a whole mixed bag I'm not getting into today#nonetheless the bottom line is still that muu does not identify as either transgender transsexual or even as a crossdresser as#none feel applicable to him at this time and instead he's solid in being people's eccentric friend who happens to be#both feminine and jovial and most Definitely sensitive all while he figures out all else beyond that
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timeisacephalopod · 2 years ago
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On one hand my one sister is Big Stupid and pregnant again, which I wouldn't care as much about if this wasn't the fourth kid with the fourth shitty fucking father who will do nothing but cause even MORE pain and suffering to my sister's life, and on the other hand my other sister keeps sending me apartment ads which is very sweet because she ALSO just had a baby (in August and also her situation is stable, I'm very proud she managed to pull off what she did considering where she's come from. Her boys, especially Older Nephew were SO excited for the baby and I love listening to Older Nephew talk about his sister, it's so heartening to see him so happy and excited. Something tells me my other sisters 3 girls won't be nearly as impressed, especially not Oldest Niece and it's gotten to a point where I feel somewhat compelled to try and mentor this poor kid but I don't know SHIT about kids and don't want to let this poor kid down like everyone else has, she deserves better than that).
Granted my whole life I've preferred Apartment Sister to Making Poor Life Choices sister but also recently Making Dumb Choices has made some serious improvements to her life, very impressive ones too, so it's just disappointing to watch her backslide especially into the same bullshit she's been doing since she was 18 and is now 32. But at least I'm not the only one apartment hunting 😂😂 her efforts are super appreciated given that she just moved herself as well, plus having a fresh baby (very cute baby too). Now with any luck my OTHER sibling will get her shit together hopefully before we're on child number six with father number six with all the same fucking personality flaws and mental health problems not one of these men take even remotely seriously because that's exhausting to me let alone my damn sister.
#winters ramblings#its very sweet that my oldest sister keeps sending apartment ads sometimes im reminded that they care in strange ways#but i like to keep that in the noggin for bad mental health days so if i feel like everyone hates me i can remind myself thats not true#now if only my OTHER older sister would stop making the worlds SHITTIEST choices and grow up thatd be great#i cant imagine doing the same shit at 32 as i did at 18 and bringing a CHILD into my stuoid fantasy thats utterly detached#from ANY known reality. she wants what my oldest sister has i guarantee it but oldest sister GOT that way#because she did the WORK to get there. went to therapy figured out how to make better dating choices for her and her kids#and now shes engaged to an AMAZING dude who loves the hell out of her and her kids. my other sister isnt gunna find that#with her present situation and it pisses me the hell off that we need a FOURTH kid to suffer through her fucking bullshit#before she MIGHT learn getting pregnant with bullshit dudes kids isnt gunna turn them into prince charming#prince charming doesnt exist and CHILDREN won't make him appear either. hard work and looking for men that DONT SUCK#is the way to go. getting therapy is the way to go. or at least SOMETHING self improvement that isnt a self improvement cult#because at this point i would not out it past her to decide to improve her life but do so in the most toxic way possible because it seems#she does not have the emotional skills and tools to do better. which is EXHAUSTING to watch. i love her i do#but oh my GOD how MANY times do you have to make the SAME mistake over THIRTEEN YEARS before you learn?!?!!!?!#and to drag FOUR children into your nonsense fantasy where It Works Out This Time. it WON'T WORK OUT#this man shes back together with for four seconds is a fucking tool who cant even pay his rent and keeo the shit in the apartment#he list that MY SISTER HELPED HIM GET. this man isnt even willing to take care of HIMSELF because he 'doesnt care' W H Y have a kid#with shit like that. itll do nothing but cause that kid pain let alone the three existing kids and i don't know why i seemed to have put#more thought into hakf this shit than she has. im nit kidding when i say ive out INFINITELY more thought into getting a DOG#or another cat than she put into having ANY of her going to be four kids and im baffled that people do that#because CHILDREN arent a joke theyre WHOLE PEOPLE who deserve better than what shes going to give them#like my oldest niece got shipped to her grandparents for being too much to handke like 7 months ago and youre adding a FOURTH??#unbelievably irresponsible and also an amazing way to tell my niece shes replacable and when the going gets tough SHE gets going#no 13 year old should EVER have to deal with this shit. which is why i feel kinda compelled to step in#but i dont have OR want kids i just see this poor girl struggling and appayfeel for her more than anyone else does#like thats not 100% true i KNOW my sister loves her kids but on the flipside shes totally fine to fuck this kid up#in all KINDS of ways i know shes not intending to but fuck. YOU chose this kid how DARE you ship her out when she gets too much#AND THEN CHOOSE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE LIKE THAT WONT BE DETRIMENTAL TO LITERALLY EVERYONE
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