#even allowing the possibility of being with someone feels confining
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lith-myathar · 10 months ago
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#so#here is the thing#when you've spent most of your life in a very happy relationship with fantasy#the idea of having a relationship in *reality*#well that may not be very happy. might result in feeling like your heart got ripped out your asshole. but even ignoring that#suddenly the amorphous idea of a partner (which can be anything) takes the shape of an actual person#which can very much only be one thing. this feels like doors closing. feels like getting trapped#part of the difficulty here is that i have difficulty not thinking in the long term (this is a defense mechanism apparently) so#even allowing the possibility of being with someone feels confining#because what if the reality is painfully disappointing (like everyone keeps telling me it will be#bc nothing can measure up to the fantasy) and then im trapped between a lifetime of disappointment and breaking somebody's heart#like. fantasy and Yearning leave one empty to a degree but they've kept me *alive*#and how could the reality ever have that same emotional high while also being Safe and in control#also it doesn't hurt anybody#my over the top desire for intensity feels like something nobody's ever going to want to match. too big. too much. unhealthy prolly#even if they did it wouldn't necessarily be a good thing#so. better maybe to quarantine myself to fantasy.#the Rewards of Being Loved tho. i want those.#realistic and rational part of me knows that Those are the Real Good Healthy Thing that will help the pain#but damn if im not attached to my little pet torments#what if i don't want to be healed? does suffering and trauma just sort of get you addicted to the intensity of emotion and then you're jus#chasing that forever? is anything healthy ever going to feel like Enough???#like how do you just ask somebody ''hey do you want to crawl inside each other's rib cages and take everything way too fucking seriously#so we can attempt to maintain a perpetual state of Desire and the subsequent altered state of consciousness until we both die?''#''but in like a chill way?''#like that's *insane*#im insane. is there any way to have both???#ugh. anyway. don't get crushes this sucks.
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eggonthemoon · 9 months ago
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Alien Stage Round 6 Character Analysis and Lyrics Breakdown
Okay so obviously spoilers, don't click Keep Reading if you haven't watched Round 6.
God fuck it's so fucking beautiful, where do I start?
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I don't even know what is going on with those rapid shots of what I assume is some form of experiment that Till was involved in. I have no clue what the goal was or if it succeeded but somehow (for no real reason other than that one image of Luka standing behind Till ominously) I feel that Luka is involved with it.
Was this an attempt by Heperu's (Luka's guardian) rival to make a human capable of going up against Luka? Till being the youngest and Luka being the oldest also means that Till's guardian could have caught on to what Heperu was planning to do with Luka and then start experimenting on humans shortly after and it would still somewhat line up with the timeline.
But I'm getting into conspiracy territory, back to suffering!!
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Allow me, to the tips of your fingers
Allow me, to the ends of your feet
Dissolve me in your gaze
I don't want to let you go
Oh this hurts. Seeing him look so defeated and exhausted, you can tell that even though to the public it's not certain whether Mizi died or not it doesn't matter to him. Because she's still gone away from his world, where he is unable to reach her. He wants to dissolve and die but he also doesn't want to let her go if there is even a sliver of hope that she lives.
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Please, leave me scars
Please, hurt me so that
Not a single drop of me remains
Let me drown in you
The footage that plays to these lyrics really show how defeated he is. He refuses to sing, his passion for the art completely dead and buried. And (his guardian I assume) when someone shoves the fact that Mizi is gone in his face he lashes out and punches one of the aliens near him.
Until these falling stars
Are buried in the blur of time
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However his heart isn't entirely in it and is quickly apprehended.
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He is beyond exhausted and doesn't even protest or put up a fight while (the same alien he punched btw) another alien runs their fingers through his hair.
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On your icy lips
Read my soul
Yes, my soul
He hopes that even if Mizi is dead that her spirit watches over him, seeing his soul and by extension, Him, for all that he is. Every thought and breath until he falls asleep is for Mizi.
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But didn't we already know this is how he'd be like? Time for something juicier~
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Even if your cold words
Carve scars beneath my eyes
May they linger on your tongue
You can break me apart
God this is heart shattering. Even if Till doesn't care for him, even if Till throws hurtful words his way, Ivan will still lie awake at night, cherishing what sliver of attention he is given. It doesn't matter if Till hates him, because as long as he is on Till's mind Ivan is happy. He is entirely in Till's hands, capable of being build up or torn down depending on how much (or how little) he is perceived by him.
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Notice my pain
And mend me right now
To quiet my fears
I'll drown in you
He wants so deeply to be seen by Till, noticed. Till who doesn't let anything hold him down and always picks himself back up became a pillar of hope and strength to Ivan. It didn't matter how or in what context he gets to be seen, so he went out of his way to provoke him just to get Till to look at him even for a moment.
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This was mentioned a while back on VIVINOS Patreon but the entire incident where Mizi and Till got attacked by that hound monster was orchestrated by him. I feel like there is two possible reasons for this depending on when in the timeline this takes place.
Either he wanted to test Till's resolve in hopes of being proven wrong about his courage (after all your hopes can't be dashed on the rocks, if you never had hopes to begin with) only for his obsession to end up growing even stronger than before.
Or he tried to let Till get roughed up enough that he'd be transferred (solitary confinement? emergency room?) somewhere else away from the others at Anakt, so they could escape together.
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But we all know how that turned out.
Either way what Ivan wants isn't freedom, he's long since given up on that. There's no point in his freedom if the person that inspired him to yearn for it isn't by his side. He needs Till there, his very presence to reassure him that no matter what Till won't falter. But he failed to take account of the one thing that weakens Till's resolve.
Mizi.
Mizi is to Till what Till is to Ivan. And so without Mizi in his world Till crumbles. Since Till will only go where Mizi is and Mizi already gave away her heart to someone else, it's impossible for Ivan to be free while keeping Till in his world.
And so he follows him, resigning himself to a life without freedom.
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Sick of these nights to come
To be engulfed in silence
But the distance between them is killing him, and each and every day they come closer to their inevitable doom.
It doesn't matter if they believe the lie the aliens told them, that if they die singing they will be blessed. Because what is the point in that? How can going somewhere far away from the people they love be a blessing?
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In your gaze where I am seen
Consume me
Yes, me
His desires mirror Till's. He wants his soul to be seen by him, recognized for his undying love for him. He wants Till to see that he can give him all that Till yearns for in Mizi and more.
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To this everlasting melody
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Face to face we dance
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And yet Till still refuses to look Ivan in the eyes.
Things get a little unclear but since they aren't shown singing here and there's no flashback to accompany the lyrics, we can assume that at this moment Till most likely gave up on singing.
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With our story
Lost in forever's embrace
I'm not sure if Ivan intended this from the start or if it's a decision he made then and there but one thing is certain. If Till stops singing then that would mean he forfeits, he'll lose. Till has never once given up. Even when he went back for Mizi that night, he never intended to leave her in the first place. But now without her he crumbles.
And Ivan can't let that happen, not like this.
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Moral grey area aside, this scene is so deeply moving to me
And I don't say that in a romantic context, absolutely not. This is something much deeper than just love. This is the culmination of everything they've been through, all those moments lead up to this.
Because this isn't a kiss.
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This is Ivan throwing his life away for Till.
Till was going to loose, the only thing that could overturn that is if his opponent attacks him. The kiss was to distract Till and keep him from catching up to what Ivan was planning.
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Just look at the contrast between their first and second kiss. As soon as the score board shows Till is in the lead, he gives him a gentle peck on the lips. The contrast is stark and full of meaning. This was the genuine kiss, hidden behind a smokescreen of aggressive bravado created from the previous one.
And it worked. Till was completely convinced that Ivan's intentions was to kill him, and he was fully intent on letting him.
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I know a lot of people doubted his intentions. Because he didn't let go of Till's neck the minute he saw their scores, a lot of people assume that this was Ivan trying to drag Till down with him.
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But the minute he coughed up blood what does he do?
He smiles.
and let's Till go.
He's only human. He might know logically that Till has won the match. But emotionally he refuses to let go until he is certain.
Until he knows for a fact that he is the one bleeding and dying he'll keep up his charade.
And then.
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And only then.
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Till truly sees Ivan.
As he dissolves in his gaze.
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auroracalisto · 5 days ago
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the way i want you.
benedict bridgerton x fem!reader, 1.4k words summary: the reader is one of eloise's closest friends... and madly in love with benedict bridgerton. at a ball, he reveals his true feelings to them. a/n: the only mention of the reader being female is the dress and corset they are wearing. so. if you pretend to not read that, it could be gender neutral. this was an old draft with like two paragraphs that i started looking at. idk why it’s written in lowercase but the vibe is there and i'm not changing it. GIRL I JUST CHECKED AND I STARTED THIS IN APRIL OF 2022. bye. absolutely insane. (thank you past me, i actually really appreciate the inspo)
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if there was anything you knew for certain, it was that you were madly in love with your dearest friend’s elder brother.
being near him made your heart thunder against the confines of your chest, threatening to be loud enough for all to hear.
your hands began to tremble, your voice began to waver.
the love you felt for him was so very obvious to everyone, it seemed, save for benedict.
eloise poked fun while penelope scolded her (for she, too, understood what it was like to love a bridgerton who didn't love her back). but deep down, eloise knew you would love her brother like no other. marriage might have been a fine prospect for benedict, but if he were to marry you, he would never wish for someone to love—you would be everything that he would need.
eloise had even quipped a time or two, teasing her brother and goading him into thinking about you. not that she would tell you, of course.
but love was a fickle thing. it worked in the oddest of ways, and quite frankly, it was hard to tell who benedict truly loved, if he loved at all.
he loved himself, and he loved his family. but eloise’s friend? the girl whom was just a few years younger than he, the one he saw blossom into a woman after several years of puberty? how could he possibly love her?
you wished he did. oh, it was a wish you made on the stars above more often than not. at any point in time, when you saw the first stars dot the sky, the wish would leave your lips.
let him love me.
please let him see me.
please let him know.
was it odd? perhaps. but in this world of expensive balls and beautiful debutantes, it didn’t seem too farfetched—especially when you loved someone. it would hurt to see them go off and love another, would it not?
your heart wasn't kind.
time wasn’t kind.
neither was your father or the corset you wore or the ballgown that seemed to itch in every crevice possible.
of course you had to choose the worst dress of all the ones you owned for this accursed ball! a repeat dress, to say the least. someone would snitch—you were sure it would be raved all about in lady whistledown's next pamphlet.
your mother was nowhere to be found while your father mingled with some of his military friends. eloise was hiding somewhere, most likely with penelope or by the buffet, and most of the bridgertons’ that had come to the ball were out in the ballroom floor, including anthony and colin.
but where was benedict?
you wouldn’t ask him to dance, despite your dance card being blank. you just wanted to see him—see his handsome face, his pretty smile.
lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize a man was creeping up behind you until a hand found its way to your back. you nearly dropped your flute of champagne, wide eyed as you looked back at the culprit. champagne splashed by your gown, and you said a silent thank you to whatever the universe had done to prevent your repeat dress being ruined by none other than the very man of your thoughts—benedict bridgerton.
“what on earth are you doing?” you asked, quickly turning to face him.
“just coming to see my sister’s friend,” he said, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. “am i not allowed to come and talk to you anymore, miss y/n?”
your eyes widened a bit. “you—of course you’re allowed. i will not tell you what to do. but to scare me like that? what if i had spilled this on you?"
“oh, i beg your pardon,” he said. “i didn’t know you were so jumpy. had i’d known, perhaps i would’ve tried to actually scare you.”
“you are a fiend, benedict bridgerton.”
he grinned. “and you love me for it, do you not?”
your cheeks burned in embarrassment as you looked away. you cleared your throat, avoiding what you truly wanted to say: yes. “why aren’t you dancing?”
“hm. well, i was, but when mother wasn’t looking, i slipped away.”
“she’ll get onto you.”
“perhaps,” he said, scrunching his nose. “but if i’m talking to you, she will excuse it.”
you rolled your eyes. “and why is that?”
“you’re eloise’s friend. she’ll excuse it.”
you purse your lips. right. just eloise’s friend. you let out a soft sigh and nod, looking out at the ballroom floor. the song was soft and light and the party-goers danced slowly with their partners. it was a sweet song, if you had to admit to anything that night.
you wouldn’t admit your love for benedict. you couldn’t. you wouldn’t. not now, not ever.
something catches benedict’s eye and he would have up and left had he not been thinking. he cleared his throat as he looked down at you.
“come with me,” he said.
eyebrows furrowed, you glanced at him. “what?”
“you heard me,” he said. “come with me.”
you do as you’re told. you follow him, and he leads you in to a hallway. there are a few other patrons, so you are not alone with a man (oh, god, imagine the scandal), but he specifically leads you to a painting in the middle of the hall.
“a painting?” you asked.
“not just any painting,” he said. “look at it. what does it remind you of?”
you shift where you stand, looking up at it. the oil pastels are beautiful, yes, but it’s a simple painting of a beautiful woman. what’s it to remind you of?
“it looks like your sister,” you said.
he snorted softly. “no,” he said. “it’s beautiful, yes, but that’s not what i wanted you to look at.”
he pointed towards the background. just beyond the portrait of the woman lay a field of beautiful flowers, each one meticulously painted by whomever the painter had been. it looked like it must have taken a painstakingly long time to paint each individual one.
“it reminds me of all the time i do not have,” you simply said.
“oh, you are no fun, y/n!” he said. he looked down at you and smiled. “they remind me of you.”
you blinked slowly. “what?”
“beautiful and yet so unattainable, hm?”
you blinked again. “i beg your pardon?”
“look at them,” he said. “each one unique in their own way, each one hand painted by someone with enough gumption to keep on with it. whoever did it wanted their painting to be utterly beautiful and difficult to recreate. all the fine detail makes the painting that much more extraordinary.”
“wait, wait, benedict, unattainable?”
“right. well if i wanted to recreate this, it would take me some time, wouldn’t it?”
“benedict. how would something like that remind you of me?”
he smiled at you for a moment before he softly said: “you’re eloise’s friend. i couldn’t do that to her.”
“do what?”
“have you the way i want you.”
it’s simple—those seven words seemed to change everything, and it was one of the most simple things you had ever heard.
your lips part in mild shock and you took a slight step back, looking at benedict in confusion. “are… are you—“
“yes. i am in earnest, y/n.”
“why did you—“
“not say anything sooner? have you seen how aggravating eloise has been recently? i did not need to fuel her ammunition.”
“since when did—“
“for some time now.”
“will you let me—“
“no, i will not,” he interrupted again.
“i swear to the lord above that i will—“
“no swearing,” he said. “just self expression, hm? like the painting?”
“what? benedict, you’re not making any sense.”
“maybe not.” benedict smiled down at you. “come. we should head back. perhaps fill in your dance card for once.”
you frowned. “what will eloise say?”
“i do not care,” he said. “it seems to me that you care far more than i do. besides, do you not hear how she speaks to me? i think she'd be honored."
he’s right—perhaps he’s yet to say anything because the way his life had been. perhaps he hadn’t said a word because of everything he and eloise had talked about. there was always timing, and sometimes, it was just a bit off.
whatever it may be, he was here, and he was true to himself. he wanted you, and he would have you, heedless of your thoughts and what eloise wanted from either of you.
oh, the scandal, dear reader. but as long as the two of you plan to marry, whatever scandal could there truly be?
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pomefioredove · 8 months ago
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Hiii! I adore your writings especially the vill fics thank you for blessing us vil fans 😭🙏💕
Can you please write soulmate au with vil and the perks of being soulmate with him? Thank youuu
thank you so much, that's so sweet!!! and OHHH soulmate.... so good
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summary: soulmates type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, FLUFFY, lovesick vil forever
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Vil Schoenheit had always deemed the existence of "soulmates" to be a thing confined in the lines of a poem.
Ever the rationalist, Vil hadn't even entertained the fantasy of meeting his "perfect match", if such a person even existed. His life was not that of a cheesy movie script he'd turn down.
Finding someone who could cope with his strict lifestyle would be a miracle in and of itself.
...And if you had asked Vil Schoenheit what his image of the perfect partner would be, he would say exactly that.
Someone beautiful, intelligent, responsible, with the dedication and discipline to keep up with him.
Spoken with a sardonic smile and honeyed words, Vil knew that his chances of actually finding someone to meet his standards, to keep up with him, were slim.
He couldn't have possibly imagined having to keep up with you, instead.
You were like a shooting star; swift and bright, moving faster than he could fathom, cutting through the dark parts of his life like a hot blade.
Something for him to wish on.
Beautiful.
Like nothing he could have ever imagined.
There was a radiance in everything you did, one that made your skin glow with or without products, a certain warmth that so contrasted the refined and elegant image he'd grown to associate with beauty.
Vil would eagerly tend to your every need. It was a dream just to touch you, to have the honor of pushing your hair out of your face.
He would savor every second of grazing your skin, of tracing your features with delicate fingertips, if only just to cleanse your pores after a long day.
With you, every simple action is beautiful.
Vil enjoys pampering people he cares for, and thus your life is full of high-end products, the best groceries money can buy, and his personal advice from the very second he sets eyes on you.
He would gladly do your personalized skincare routine with you every night and every morning if time allowed it.
2. Intelligent.
In such a way that makes him eager to understand you.
Really, it's your insatiable curiosity that draws him in.
He could spend hours upon hours simply listening to you talk. Your interests begin excite him just as much as they excite you, your passion for learning and creating capture his attention with ease.
There's never a dull moment between the two of you.
What others might consider useless conversations about trivial matters, Vil holds to the highest regard.
It comes to the point where he begins asking you for opinions, even if he knows he'll disagree with your answer, just to hear your perfect voice, just to watch your expression change in the way it does when you're thinking.
He's infatuated with your thought process, with the way your mind works.
Understanding you is not a labor, but a privilege.
3. Responsible.
To where all he could ask for is you and your gentle touch.
You care. Whether you're aware of it or not, you care so deeply about the people in your life, it almost puts Vil to shame.
Paired with your determination and resilience, and your ceaseless sense of independence, it's absolutely irresistible to him.
Vil is so unfamiliar with the way you treat him. Tenderly, and softly, like he's something that needs to be taken care of. You don't put him on a high shelf like a trophy, but carry him at your side, like a beloved doll.
He's never been at the receiving end of such consideration.
On the days where it feels as if the world is coming undone around him, he has somewhere to go. A place to hide, where he can forget all that he's supposed to be, and just simply be instead.
You are a home to him.
Vil knows that the both of you are perfectly capable (exemplary, even) at minding yourselves, though that's exactly what makes this tenderness you share all the better.
Independence is a gift, though one that he'll gladly set aside for a time, to be alone and soft with you.
4. Keeping Up.
Some days, it feels as if he's hanging onto you for dear life.
Afraid that if he looks away for even a moment, you'd vanish, leaving him alone with all of his naive, shallow thoughts on what his soulmate should be.
You're a dream to him. Far better than anything he ever could have asked for, or even imagined. He would be a fool to let you get away, he knows as much.
And perhaps he doesn't have the words to express it yet, perhaps he does. Perhaps these thoughts of his are tucked away in a journal, imbued in the lines of a poem, or in the color choices of a floral arrangement. Perhaps he whispers them to you in the early hours of the morning, still caught in that dreamlike space between sleep and wake.
One thing has become clear to him, though: Vil could never adequately describe all that he wants in a soulmate.
You're far too complex to put in a single sentence.
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explicit-tae · 1 year ago
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Hey can you write a jk fic about a world where people can't express anything like they can't laugh,cry or feel any type of emotions and they don't know about these and then jk feels something after seeing oc like that ...
Actually I don't know how to tell you 😭😭
Since there's not really a lot to go off of, I just did what I could with what you gave me 😅 hopefully its similar to what you were intending to say 🫶🏽
Cosmic Balance
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Every universal realm has a positive and negative - good or bad. Jungkook manages to cross the portal from his dystopian world to your utopian one and decides that he'd do anything to stay with you.
Word Count: 8.786
Warning: dystopian world, sex-work/brothel, protected/unprotected sex, mentions of cheating, kissing, virtual reality sex, nipple sucking, oral sex, riding, creampie, slight dirty talk, fingering,
Alternate Universe
“Just try it…” is all Jungkook can hear in his mind. His eyes flash to the large digital clock flashing outside his window - he was supposed to be asleep now, as was everyone in his world. “It’s a portal to a whole different world. Just make sure you’re back by 6 am.”
Jungkook’s hands tremble as he grasps the cover on his mirror. It’s one - of many - forbidden rules, completely unforgivable. He never questioned why all reflected areas should be covered as night came, but then again, it was a question that should never be answered.
Jungkook’s world is dark and dull - gray. He was raised upon these rules - he and millions of others. There were rules that were meant to be followed and going against them meant dire consequences - death always an option. 
Jungkook removes the cover quickly and swallows the lump in his throat. He stares at his reflection - the terrified look in his eyes and his heaving chest. He licks his lips, the thought of his breaking a forbidden rule has the hairs on his skin rising.
Jungkook looks closer at his reflection, his finger reaching out to touch. There’s a rippling effect in the reflection that when Jungkook touches, he visibly is horrified when his hand falls through the mirror.
Jungkook snatches himself away from the mirror and quickly covers the mirror with the cover once more. He falls onto his bed, heart thumping that they were right - his friends were correct. There was a whole different world besides the one he’s in now and the thought scares him.
Jungkook often wished that there was a different world he could live in. A world where there weren't strict rules for being excited - he could laugh freely in public when something was funny and not risk being arrested and fined.
Was there truly a world that allowed their people to be free - where the atmosphere was carefree and loving. Did the other world allow their people to laugh, smile - even cry - in public and not the confines of their own room. Did the other people only arrest those who were actually committing heinous crimes, and not because they were a minute late on curfew?
Did the other world allow their people to love and marry whoever they wanted? Jungkook thinks how in a few years at the age of 28 he would be married to whoever his government chose - based on status - and he would be expected to have a child no later than a year. Women who couldn’t bear children would be forced to be alone and provide for themselves. They were encouraged to be whores and work in brothels - “it’s not like you could bear a child anyways” is the harsh words the government would speak to them.
Men would oftentimes be ridiculed, losing job opportunities and their status in life lowering. 
Jungkook thinks how his life would be if he was in another world where he could love who he wants to and not who he was chosen to.
It’s what Jungkook thinks when he sees you, the same work attire as his. You were soon destined to marry someone else just like he was and he knows that he could never have you. There was always a possibility that you would be chosen for him - but Jungkook doesn’t allow himself to think about it. He isn’t an idiot and he understands that you were going to be taken away by some other man and married - and you’d have that man’s child instead.
Your eyes meet Jungkook’s for a moment and he glances away. He was staring again, he thinks. You’re a smart woman and you know how he feels for you and understands that he could never act upon them. You weren’t a barren woman - and a relationship - sexual or not - prior to marriage to an unbarren woman is one of many forbidden rules.
“Still looking at Y/N?” 
The seat beside Jungkook is taken by Taehyung. His friend opens the laptop and begins to type, continuing his work. He speaks in a low tone to not disturb the peace - doing so could lead to arrest.
“She could report you for harassment.” 
You could, Jungkook thinks. Women have reported men for harassment all the time - harrassment being even glancing their way if they didn’t appreciate the act. 
You could, but you never did.
“Have you gone to the brothel? Maybe you need to let off some steam.” Taehyung glances his way a bit, his typing not ceasing. “Staring at her isn’t going to make things easier.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond - because he knows Taehyung is correct. The last thing he did want was for you to report him for harassment. He could go to the brothel, sure, but there was no real connection there. He could fuck for as long as he desired, but there was no true connection to the women he was fucking nor did he ever know what these women looked like as their upper and lower body are separated. 
Sex shouldn’t be so quick nor easy - so one sided. Jungkook wants to know did these women feel the same as he did - even if it was a quick high. Did they enjoy the way he fucked them or did they want him to be slower - or faster, go deeper. 
“There you go,” Taehyung murmurs, his fingers typing fast. “in your head again. Did you do as we told you?”
Jungkook sends a e-document and shakes his head. “Freaked out.” he murmurs. 
Taehyung snorts quietly. “I knew you would.”
Jungkook sighs. “It isn’t that easy.”
“How so? You walk through the mirror during an in-between and make sure you’re back on time.” Taehyung shrugs. He glances at you for a moment, noticing how your eyes are upon them - mainly Jungkook. You appear to be surprised that Taehyung catches you and quickly, you turn away. 
“What are you afraid of?” Taehyung murmurs.
What was he afraid of?
There was a lot to be afraid of. He had never broken a forbidden rule before - uncovering a mirror after hours  was an unforgivable one, and now he understood why. There was a whole different universe out there that was seemingly different than his own - he wouldn’t know how to navigate it. His friends had told him stories that appeared to be just that, stories. Something fictional and unbelievable. 
Jungkook was afraid that if he went to this world, that he’d never want to return to his own.
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Jungkook is disgusted with himself - disgusted in how he finds himself in the brothel.
Not only Jungkook - but many unmarried men starting at the age of 21-27. This was the only place where it didn’t matter how loud you were. You could scream, yell, curse - hell, cry. You can display any type of emotion inside the brothel.
The brothel had color and life to it - not the sad beige and gray of the outside world. It appeared to be like a dream - was this what the other world was like? Colorful? Cherry? Maybe that’s why his friend visited at night. It was like a vacation away from the reality in which they lived.
“Kook!”
As arm wraps around Jungkook’s shoulders. 
“Not surprised to see you here after the way you acted at work.” Taehyung says loudly, his natural state booming inside of the brothel. “You’re late. We have to all be gone in an hour.”
Jungkook knows this - he never intended on coming until the last minute. It feels like he’s doing the walk of shame coming inside the brothel, but no one cares. All of these men inside of here were looking to get away; to let off steam from the world they lived in.
“You look depressed.” Taehyung snorts. “You know we don’t judge here.”
“Exactly, Kook.” Jimin places a hand on his shoulder, seemingly appearing from thin air. “I think you should try virtual reality.”
Jungkook scoffs. “It’s bad enough I’m in here.” he murmurs.
“Tae told me the way you were looking at Y/N.”
Of course Taehyung did.
“She’s a fertile woman. Meaning she will be married off to whoever the government chooses as would you.”
Jimin was never the one to sugar coat anything. Jungkook could only respect it.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t pretend.” Taehyung slaps Jungkook's back. “I’ll pay for it.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened. “That’ll be expensive.” he says with a shake of his head.
Casual sex was free and paid by the government. At first it’s weird - surrounded by men who were all taking turns on fucking multiple girls in the wall that you couldn’t see. But after a while it got easier and Jungkook only was there to cum and go.
Virtual Reality, however, was not free. It costs to have a private room, a girl and the virtual contact lenses to alter reality. You could choose whatever reality you desired for a price - and Jungkook already felt shitty enough about coming here.
“You’re never going to have Y/N unless fate is on your side.” Jimin says. “And fate is on no one side in our world.”
Meaning, Jungkook had to give up on having you chosen as his partner; an act he already gave up on. 
“But just for an hour, you can pretend to be with her. It’ll feel good. I promise.”
Taehyung’s words ring through his ears. He’s done this before, Jungkook thinks. He only has a few months left until he’s set to be married, the woman he once wanted far from his reach.
“Okay.” Jungkook murmurs sullenly.
Jungkook is disgusted with himself already - and even more so. But he was a man and he couldn’t hide what desires he had for you.
All the desires he did have for you were taken out on the woman who’s name or face he did not know - he moaned for you. He called you pretty and beautiful and in his mind, he was fucking you.
Jungkook likes to think that in another world, he and you could be together. That you and he could talk freely without others speculating he was harassing you - a fertile unwed woman. But as of right now, he would pretend he was fucking you and not another woman in the brothel during virtual reality.
Jungkook’s eyes watch the way your face contort with pleasure as he fucks deep into you. There was only an hour until he had to leave and he took full advantage of it. He isn’t sure how many times he came, filling the condom he wore completely - but he never wants to stop. 
Jungkook doesn’t want this reality with you to end - even deep down he knows that this wasn’t real. Those weren’t your moans nor was it your reaction to him but it’s what he has to deal with to feel closer to you.
“Ah, look at you.” Jimin smirks as he eyes Jungkook exiting the room. His eyes are slightly red due to having to remove the contact lenses. “Feel better?”
No, Jungkook thinks, but he only nods his head. 
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 “What are you afraid of?”
Jungkook places a hand towards the mirror, his eyes widening as it begins to go through just as it did the night prior. He has to coach himself to do it - this was okay. He could do it - he could make it through the portal just fine.
As long as he was back before 6 am, he was good. No one would have to know that he was committing a crime that could be punishable by death. 
The portal sucks him in completely - it’s dark and cold. Jungkook’s mind races and he opens his mouth to scream, but he can’t. The feeling is as if he’s jumped from a high surface, gravity completely taking a toll on him.
Jungkook falls onto the ground with a thud, his hands not able to catch himself. He releases a low groan at the impact he’s faced crashing to the floor. He grumbles and pushes himself off of the ground. 
Jungkook’s eyes open and it’s then he realizes that he isn’t where he should be. This isn’t his room - even if it was nearly identical. The room had personality - not like the dull one he had back in his world. The ceiling was just as high as his back in his world but the bed is larger. He notices that the headboard - block - has a strange glow behind it and beneath the bed. It glows multiple colors that Jungkook finds fascinating. The large window - where outside displays a large digital clock for not only him, but for the surrounding homes to see - is covered by a long, dark curtain, blocking out the outside world. The closet is on the far right of the room and Jungkook’s curiosity peaks - his world, clothes weren’t expressive. They were bland and more of a uniform that most citizens wore.
Jungkook gasps, having strolled towards the closet and opened it. Even the clothes in this world had personality - different colors and textures. Long, short, tight or loose - it amazes him how people in this world could express themselves freely. 
“Does your girlfriend know you have me here?” a voice sounds from right outside the door that Jungkook leaps into the closet and hides, only sliding the door close a bit to see.
Jungkook is flabbergasted upon seeing himself - or, this new world version of him. Did this man have the same name as him, or was it just a look alike?
“Y/N’s not going to be here tonight.” Jungkook hears his voice and he stiffens. “She’s out with her friends.”
Y/N.
You.
You were in this universe, too. 
You and him - could Jungkook call this different version of this man “him”? Regardless, you and he were together.
You were his girlfriend in this universe.
And he was cheating on you - Jungkook wants to faint at the revelation alone that in this universe he had you. He had you - the person he wanted. There were no rules on sex outside of brothels here - nor did it appear that a government was controlling every aspect of life.
Jungkook had you in this universe - and he was cheating on you.
Jungkook couldn’t stay here any longer and watch himself be with another girl. He wouldn’t notice himself creeping out of the room - it's dimly lit and the only lights are that of the changing colorful ones. He’s slow with opening the door and closing it discreetly behind him.
The rest of the home is just as amazing as the bedroom - full of this version of him. There’s artwork displayed on the walls that catches Jungkook's eyes, but he doesn’t have the time to stop and appreciate it like he wants to because something else catches his eye. It’s in the hallway as he’s walking by.
A picture of you and him - together. You were smiling, arms wrapped firmly around him, your cheek pressed against his own. You looked beautiful; happy. He did, as well.
Jungkook touches the picture - were you different in this universe? Is this why he was cheating on you? There had to be a reason as to why this version of him would go against everything he wanted for one night with a woman when all he wanted was you.
Jungkook hears a muffled voice and his head snaps down the hall where his front door would be. He contemplates running, but he doesn’t. The door opens and his heart stops.
“Kookie.” you tilt your head and offer him a smile and then a confused look. “You’re still up?”
Jungkook doesn’t know what to say and it’s like his breath was taken away. You’re in front of him - you’re speaking to him.
You called him Kookie.
Your clothes are something he’d never see you wear in his world. Your dress is dark and tightly fitted and it shows a great amount of cleavage. Your skin looks so smooth and soft and his hands tremble to feel it beneath his palm.
“Are you okay?” you take a step forward, your heels clicking against the floor. You reach out to touch his forehead and Jungkook knows now that he isn’t okay. “You don’t feel hot-”
“Y/N.” Jungkook says, and this is his moment. He touches your face fondly, thumb pressing itself against your lips. 
You snicker. “What’s gotten into you?” you ask. “I know I said I would be out all night but I wanted to come home to you.”
Jungkook releases a shaky breath at your words. You wanted to come home to him - but not him, your version of him. The same Jungkook that was cheating on you now and expecting not to see you.
Jungkook doesn’t want that for you - even if this was his last time seeing you in this world. He doesn’t want to be the reason for your pain. “Let’s go out together.”
“Together?” you knit your brows. “Dressed like that?”
Jungkook looks down at his own attire - basic black t-shirt and jeans that would only be acceptable for him to wear at home back in his world - but maybe in this one it was exactly that; basic. 
“I just want to be with you.” Jungkook murmurs truthfully and you smile - a bright smile that causes his heart to sink. He would have to go home eventually, and he wouldn’t be able to see it anymore. 
“Okay.” you nod slowly, taking his hand in yours. “You hungry? We can go to Late Night Slice.”
Jungkook is shocked to see how crowded the streets are. Back in his world, no one was allowed outside past 9 pm. Even during the day, citizens had to walk in a straight line, no more than three people standing side by side. 
It was past curfew but yet here everyone was. People were laughing, littering the streets without a care in the world. There was a melodic tune playing, something he’s never heard before. 
“You act like you’ve never heard music before.”
You say it as though you can read him, Jungkook thinks.  “Music…” he murmurs, trailing off. 
There wasn’t any music where Jungkook was from, and now he’s realizing that his world was Hell compared to this. It was night time but yet, everything was so bright. The laughter from everyone surrounding them, the music - the atmosphere in general. 
Jungkook feels his skin erupt with goosebumps.
“Come,” you yank him lightly to get his attention and you fully have it. You take him to a small shop where only a few people were inside. The smell makes Jungkook’s stomach rumble and his mouth salivate. “I ordered ahead already, so it should be done.”
Order ahead? Jungkook wants to ask what you meant, but he doesn’t want to appear any more dumb than he was when it came to you and this world.
“I can take that.” Jungkook says as you go to grab a large tray of pizza - it smells as delicious as it looks and Jungkook cannot fathom how someone can be open and cook amazingly this late at night. 
“I’ll go get our drinks.” you smile at him brightly that it nearly causes Jungkook to drop the tray of food. “Go find us a table, okay?”
“Yes.” Jungkook nods, licking his lips. He wants to hurt himself - not really. Hurt this version of him. As you and he sit here and eat as a couple, he was cheating on you with another woman - one not worthy of his attention. 
Jungkook finds a table farther from everyone else and sits down, placing the tray of pizza onto the table. He watches from afar as you come back with two drinks in your hands and his lifts form into a small smile.
“What’s funny?” you ask him as you sit down across from him, placing the drink in front of him. 
“I’m not laughing.” Jungkook knits his brows. “You just look very beautiful.”
Jungkooks cheeks are red as he speaks.
You’re taken aback by the compliment. “Ah, really?” you snort. “You only ever call me beautiful when you’re fucking me.”
Jungkook’s throat tightens at your words and his breath hitches. You can speak so freely in this world, he thinks. There doesn’t need to be a hidden conversation of whispers or hushed murmurs. “I-I…” he doesn’t know what to say. On one hand, the thought of him being with you outside of virtual reality has him excited - but the other part of him finds this version of himself highly selfish. He cannot think about only calling you beautiful when he is intimate with you - especially in a world in which he doesn’t have to hide his love. “...You’re very beautiful to me, Y/N. Even outside of…sex.”
You blink a few times, watching Jungkook intently. Slowly, you begin to smile. “Thank you.” you say softly. “I think you’re beautiful, as well, Kookie.” you say teasingly. “Now let’s eat!”
Jungkook never wants to go back to his world. He doesn’t want to leave you behind with the version of him that doesn’t love you. You and he eat and it mainly consists of you talking to him while he listens closely - he isn’t sure of what you are talking about. He isn’t from a world where “clubs” or “bars” are normal - but they seem fun. 
Jungkook takes a sip of the drink you gave him and he immediately coughs. 
“Kookie? You okay?” you rush to place a napkin in his hands.
“W-What is this?” Jungkook smells the clear drink and his eyes widen as it begins to fizzle.
“Sprite…?” you tilt your head. “Does it taste funny?”
Funny wasn’t the word - it tasted strong. He hasn’t tasted anything like this before, the taste feels as if it’s stabbing against his taste buds and fighting against his throat.
It was a weird taste that Jungkook liked.
Jungkook begins to chug the rest of the drink entirely, his body shuddering at the amazing taste. It brings a rush through him.
You watch wide eyed as Jungkook slams the cup down against the table and burp. He places a hand over his mouth at his crude actions. “Excuse-”
“You’re so cute, Kookie!” you laugh at his actions, a sweet melodic laugh that he wants to hear for the rest of his life.
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Jungkook finds himself never wanting to leave you, but needing to each time he’s visited and coincidentally managing to not come face to face with himself while doing so.
The first time he had to go through the portal, there was a longing feeling holding him back - the euphoric sense that this new world was better. It was colorful and full of life - returning back to his world left him with deep sorrow. He was coming down from a serotonin high and he realized that each time he did so, he was growing more and more depressed.
But Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to care. He would go through the drop of serotonin if it meant he could see you every night - and each night he did. He would visit you, somehow managing to avoid himself, and have an amazing time with you in this Utopian world. Each night was something different - you took him to midnight festivals that played “music” - an amazing tune with people singing and dancing and it’s something you forced him to do with you.
And Jungkook loved it - he adored dancing with you. He enjoyed being carefree and not feeling judgmental eyes upon him. He tried different foods that his world would never allow, drinks that caused his taste buds to go crazy and such sweet snacks that at times would cause his teeth to hurt.
This utopian world was amazing and each time he would return home, he hated it. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep but wouldn’t stop from returning the next night because it was worth it to get away from his world and to see you.
On his 12th day of returning to the Utopian world, Jungkook isn’t alone. He hears screaming coming from further into the home. He ventures outside of the room stealthy to see what’s wrong - mainly because he hears your voice. It’s strained and filled with pain - as is your appearance when his eyes catch you. His heart drops when his eyes catch your face - you’re crying, a black streak streaming down your cheeks. It’s makeup he now knows, having watched you put on the products and astonished when it enhances your beauty even more.
“Where are you planning on going, Y/N?” Jungkook hears his voice say, his tone far too aggressive for his liking. “You live here. With me.”
“You had another woman in the same bed that I sleep in Jungkook.”
Jungkook sighs to himself, his heart falling once more. It was a matter of time until you found out, he thinks. It wasn’t something he wanted to happen for you - you were someone he loved, even if he wasn’t from this world. He wanted you to be happy and live an amazing life, even if it wasn’t with him but with the version of him that didn’t deserve you.
Jungkook watches you push him away with a huff when he tries to bring you closer to him.
“Fine.” Jungkook then shrugs with a scoff. “I’m leaving. If you want to pack everything and leave then you can. But I’m not forcing you to go.”
You snicker with a shake of your head at the audacity of Jungkook.
“You’re going to throw everything away because of one mistake?”
“Was it only once?” you ask him with folded arms. You’re waiting for him to respond to the question you know the answer to already. “Your silence tells me everything I need to know.”
You feel Jungkook’s eyes watch you storm away. He bites back a remark and instead decides to let you cool off. You weren’t going to leave him - where would you even go? You didn’t have anyone but him.
Jungkook watches himself leave out the front door, slamming it behind him as you’re making your way towards the bedroom. Jungkook saunters back inside the bedroom and hides inside the closet, a sense of deja vu coming through him.
You slam through the door and fall onto the large bed. You’re crying again and the sound makes Jungkook want to hurt this world's version of him.
An affair wasn’t allowed in his world and it’s a punishable offense. Of course, very few men loved their wives that they’re set upon and vice versa. Only few come to love one another - but it’s rare. He had to look at his own parents as evidence of this. As he and you would walk the busy streets the past weeks, he noticed people of all ages and genders together - two older couples sitting side by side enjoying one another's company. Two men holding one another while taking pictures - it’s nice to see and experience.
This version of Jungkook didn’t deserve you or this world, he thinks - he took it for granted.
“Y/N.”
You flinch at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Your eyes widen at him, not hearing him come in. “W-Why are you in the closet?”
Jungkook swallows.
“And when did you change…?” your words trail off, hands wiping your tears.
“I’m sorry that he hurt you.” Jungkook murmurs, his tone lowering. His eyes are sad, you note, sad for you. He comes closer, his demeanor soft unlike the cocky and narcissistic one of that prior.
You stand to your feet and tilt your head, your eyes focusing on his face. “You just got a piercing earlier.” you murmur, more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Where did it go?”
Jungkook stiffens when he feels your fingers on his lips. His hand reaches up to touch yours on his face and he sighs. “I hate the way he treats you, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Your head is spinning at Jungkook’s choice of words. You’re confused at how he’s wording everything - as if he’s a third person in this situation.
“Kookie…?”
Jungkook kisses your fingers then your hand. “I wish I could stay here with you. Forever.”
You aren’t sure how to feel, your emotions are spiraling. Jungkook speaks as if everything that went down between the two of you hasn’t happened - and your mind is beginning to fog; contemplating if it did or not.
“I’m not from here, Y/N.” Jungkook speaks once more, lowering your hand to your side and entangling his fingers with yours. “I wish I was so I could treat you better than him. I wouldn’t take you or this world for granted.”
You don’t speak, unable on what to say in response. You aren’t crying anymore, your cheeks stained with tears and puffy.
Jungkook tugs you deeper into the room and towards the mirror by the closet. You’re unsure what’s going on and where he’s getting at.
Jungkook’s sure he might regret this - that you would be freaked out to the point that you wouldn’t want to talk with him anymore, but he had to show you.
Jungkook stops in front of the mirror and turns towards you. He lifts your hand that’s holding his and slowly, brings it towards the mirror.
Your eyes widen in shock when your hand sinks into the mirror, a cold, windy feeling causing your hand to tremble.
“J-Jungkook-”
“I’m from a different world. I was just as scared as you are right now.” Jungkook says, bringing your hand out of the mirror and letting it go. His hands grasp your face. “I came here and everything's so…euphoric. It’s nice that everyone is accepting. There’s no strict rules enforced by the government to control you all.”
Jungkook’s thumb rubs along your lips.
“You…in my world you and I can never be together. Not unless the Government allowed it and I’m positive they aren’t. You are free to be in love with whoever you want here, Y/N. And I’m sorry this version of me is taking you for granted.”
Your heart is beating at an alarming rate. Your eyes are wide with shock at his words.
This Jungkook was not your Jungkook - not the man who cheated on you and left without as much as acknowledging your feelings. This Jungkook came from a different world - and as unbelievable as it sounded, it was true.
“Why can’t we be together?” you murmur, still unsure if this was reality or a dream - everything felt real at this point.
“The Government chooses who we marry based on ranking and status.” Jungkook explains. “You’re a woman who can bear children, so you’ll be married to someone of their choosing.”
Your eyebrows knit. “Why does it matter if I can bear children or not?”
Jungkook smiles sadly at you. “Barren women cannot be married.” He recalls wishing that you and he were both barren, then maybe the Government would see the two of you as useless and allow him to marry you - but life wasn’t that cruel to either of you.
“It must be a cruel world.” you murmur, and Jungkook agrees. “How long have you…”
Jungkook knows what you’re speaking of. “Close to two weeks. I’ve been coming to you every night.”
Your eyes widened and now, everything made sense. How Jungkook - well, not the one before you, but the other one - would be confused about the night prior, but you’d just thought he was either faking or too tired to. But no, you and this Jungkook from a different world were the one spending it together.
This is why the connection between the two of you suddenly has changed. It became bearable to be around Jungkook. He smiled and laughed more. He was willing to hold your hand wherever the two of you went and would sneak kisses at random times. He took more pictures with you and appeared overall happier than before.
But it wasn’t the Jungkook you know - it was a different version of him.
You snicker, your eyes swelling with tears.
Jungkook shakes his head. “I-I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, Y/N. Please don’t cry-”
You hand your head. “I’m not upset with you, Jungkook.” you say, blinking away the tears that are forming. “I’m upset that you and I can never be together because you aren’t from this world.”
Jungkook’s chest tightens at your words.
“And I…I can’t go to your world, either.” You didn’t want to, Jungkook thinks. He doesn’t want to see your demeanor and personality change if you went to a world so different from this one.
“I’m sorry-”
Jungkook is interrupted suddenly by your lips on his. He’s taken aback by your sudden actions, but he doesn’t push you awake.
“If there’s a world,” you remove your lips from his for a moment. “that is an alternate realm where you and I are in, that means…he can’t die.”
Jungkook isn’t sure where you’re getting at.
“Jungkook can’t die because then you’ll die.” you say, your hand caressing Jungkook’s cheek. “I-I don’t think you and he can be in the same world, either. It would probably cause some type of unbalance.”
Jungkook nods. “The in between opens at 12. I make sure I’m back before 6.”
You nod slowly.
“I want you to stay with me, Jungkook.” you murmur to him, as if it was a secret that only he can hear. “Wouldn’t you like that?”
Jungkook nods his head, doe-like eyes widening. “I do,” he admits. “but I don’t think-”
“SShh,” you peck him on his lips once more and Jungkook melts into the kiss. “we have a few hours before we can figure out what to do. I just want you to stay with me.”
Jungkook nods.
Kissing you had to be his favorite thing to do. And touching you, feeling your smooth skin against his palm.
Your back hits against the bed, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. This Jungkook was different from the one you’ve known. He was gentle and kind. He cared for your feelings and truly wanted what was best for you.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Jungkook manages to push himself away from you just as your hand dips underneath his pants. “You’re already hurting from what he’s done to you.”
“You aren’t like him.” It’s weird to speak of a different version of himself as if it was a whole different person with a different face. “I want to be with you.”
Your hands do make their way into his pants and you proceed to grasp his hardened length. Jungkook hisses. “O-Okay.” he nods hastily with no other argument. He caves far too easily - but he’s wanted you for so long. The virtual reality he had was an embarrassing moment he wanted to forget - but now he was going to have the real thing. The real you.
“I-I want to pleasure you.” Jungkook’s cheeks are tinted as he speaks, but it’s like a dream of his. Coming from a world where pleasuring a woman (before marriage) isn’t a priority, he wants to do this - especially with you.
Jungkook kisses your neck, inhaling your sweet scent that starts to drive him wild. His hands roam your body, grasping the hem of your shirt and lifting it over your head.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” Jungkook murmurs, his lips kissing down your collarbone to between your breasts.”So beautiful and all mine.”
Jungkook doesn’t want this moment to end - he wants to savor every bit of it. He wants to sit and stare at the beauty that’s your body for hours if the universe would let him.
You feel Jungkook's hand dip behind your back to unclasp your bra. It’s left discarded, his hands roaming your back entirely. He shudders.
“You look scared.” you teased with a hushed tone. “As if you have never done this before.”
“I’m not married, so no, I have not.” Jungkook speaks. “Every man goes to the brothel but that isn’t pleasurable for the woman. I don’t even see their faces.”
You swallow, your eyes widening slightly.
“My friends often come here, too…” Jungkook begins, his hands slowly gripping your breast in the palm of his hands. “...and they told me how free it was here. What they’d do when they were pleasuring women here.”
Jungkook’s friends - you ponder if it’s the same friends in his world that Jungkook has in this one.
“And I want to try it.”
You yelp when you feel Jungkook’s mouth wrap a nipple into his mouth entirely, suckling as if his life depended on it. You weren’t complaining, enjoying just how needy Jungkook appeared. Jungkook groans in your breast, his free hand gripping your breast entirely while he sucks on the other. He’s unsure why he appears so stuck on your breast - or why he enjoys doing so. They didn’t have a particular taste to them - it only tasted like skin.
Jungkook’s positive that it’s your reaction to him doing so. Your moans - so sweet and velvety. The way your legs wrap around his waist a little tighter and your hand rests on the back of his head.
There’s a string of saliva connecting your nipple to his lips when Jungkook finally comes up from them. He licks his lips, eyes dark and full of lust.
You eye Jungkook has his lips place warm kisses upon your skin, dipping down to your stomach. His hands reach your shorts, tugging them down just as he gets lower and lower.
“Y-You don’t have to do that.” you say, embarrassed when Jungkook pulls down your shorts entirely.
Jungkook looks up at you for a moment before down at your exposed underwear - purple and cotton. They were cute, he thinks, especially as he witnesses the slight wet spot directly in the middle of them.
“Why not?” Jungkook places his fingers on your clothed clit, rubbing gently.
You swallow back a moan, thighs twitching. “Y-You never have…not you but. The other Jungkook.”
Jungkook wants to shake his head. The audacity of this other version of him - if he had the chance to ravish you at every given moment, he would. He didn’t understand why this world took everything for granted - being allowed to roam the streets after 9 Pm was a luxury alone that this world provided.
“But I want to.” Jungkook hooks his fingers between your panties and pushes it aside. He licks his lips at your wet clit and he hums. “So beautiful.” he murmurs.
Jungkook lowers himself to your heat and your eyes widen - he was really going to do this. You don’t have time to react, either. His tongue pokes out of his mouth and it’s already swiping along your clit.
“S-Stop…!” you yelp, jerking at the unfamiliar feeling.
Jungkook catches your legs just as they were about to crush him. “Relax, Y/N.” he laughs gleefully. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”
You bite your lip but nod. Your legs are trembling with nerves and slight embarrassment at how close Jungkook was to your sex - vaginas couldn’t look that appealing for him to appear ready to risk it all at just a taste of it.
But to Jungkook, it was. His nails dig into the skin of your thighs as he holds you into place, his tongue flat and his head shifting from side to side.
Your stomach bubbles with tension and pleasure. You aren’t aware that something like this could feel good for you - you imagined it whenever you went down on Jungkook, but there was a difference between the two genitalia.
Now, it was like Jungkook was getting rid of an itch you never knew was there. You couldn’t contain your moans any longer, nor did he want you to. There was no pleasuring any women from the brothel and in the end, even after he came, he could never feel truly satisfied with himself.
Now, it’s different. It’s more intimate - pleasuring you the way he wants to. His demeanor changes entirely from that of the soft man she’s come to love to be around - to a man hungry for what's between her legs.
“K-Kookie!” you yelp once more at feeling fingers pierce through your entrance. Even then, he doesnt stop sucking your clit.
Jungkook hums, the vibration felt throughout your lower region. His eyes dart up at you and it causes him to groan. So beautiful, he thinks. The look of pure bliss on your face, eyes fluttering closed as pleasure shoots through you.
Jungkook leans back to watch intently at the way your pussy tightens around his fingers. He pumps in and out, your juices coating not only his fingers, but down his palm and to his wrists.
“I wish I can stay here with you forever.” Jungkook says, adding another finger to fill you even more. “I would treat you better. I would never make you cry.”
Jungkook is such a smooth talker, you think . But even so, you believed him. His eyes are much softer and even now as he’s fucking his fingers inside of you, he’s still so loving.
“Kook - shit!” Jungkook connects his lips back onto your already swollen clit and is determined to make you cum.
Your hands grip along the bedsheets, your thighs trembling. It was all too much to handle right now. Each time your hips would buck, Jungkook would just push you back down onto the mattress and plunge his fingers even deeper.
“I know you’re about to cum.” Jungkook purrs, then goes back to lapping your clit, his eyes watching your every emotion. His fingers are hitting your spot so sweetly that you can’t hold it back anymore, releasing the tension from deep inside of you with a shriek.
Jungkook’s chest is soaked entirely, but he couldn’t care any less. Instead, he removes his fingers from inside of you and licks them clean.
Your thighs are trembling even more now, your eyes closing and your chest heaving in an attempt to catch your breath.
There was no way Jungkook never done this before. Even from a different world, Jungkook had to have some similar characteristics of the other Jungkook - determined to make you cum regardless if it was never his mouth or tongue, not stopping until he had.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks you, kissing your lips gently. You tasted yourself on him.
You hum a lazy response.
“So cute.” Jungkook smiles. “Are you tired? Hungry? “ he tilts his head for a response. “I can go get those sugar things you like with the chocolate filling-“
“I want you to fuck me before we think about eating.” you sigh, tone serious. Your eyes flutter open until they’re no longer blurry.
Jungkook’s cheek flush at your words. “You don’t even look like you’re capable of-“
Jungkook’s left stunned when you manage to flip him on his back, hovering right above him. “Just needed a few seconds is all.” you say to him. “I really want to taste you, too but…I’m really impatient.”
Jungkook nods hastily as you go to remove his pants.
“I will next time. Promise.”
Jungkook isn’t upset about you not returning the favor - he didn’t expect you to. Having the opportunity to do anything with you was what he truly desired.
“Don’t we need some form of protection?” Jungkook asks when you’re hovering above him, ready to bring him into you entirely.
“I’m on birth control.” You shake your head with a giggle and Jungkook only appears more confused.
“What’s that?”
You tilt your head. “There’s no birth control in your world?”
Jungkook shakes his head slowly, trying to ponder how anyone can control something like-
Jungkook gasps, feeling you entirely. You’re so warm and wet and his mind is going crazy at feeling you entirely raw.
“The chances of getting pregnant are low when on birth control.” you explain, placing both of your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. “So it should be okay.”
Jungkook was going to take your word for it. His hands find your waist and it holds on it for support.
Your hips begin to rise and fall at a rhythmic pace, wet skin slapping against his own. Soon moans filled the room, both yours and his - and Jungkook wasn’t going to hide how good you were making him feel.
“Feel…so…good…” Jungkook huffs with each bounce on his cock. His eyes fight to focus on something for longer than a few seconds, but he can’t. Your breast bounces in his face and he tries to catch a nipple but fails a few times. Your face is so beautiful, contorted with pleasure as you take him.
“Does it?”
You lean back, your palms on his thighs. Your feet are pressed firmly onto the mattress and you continue your bouncing.
Jungkook hisses, the next position allowing him to go a bit deeper in you. You knew what you were doing, knowing exactly how to pleasure him just right. Jungkook wants to harm the other version of him - how could you go elsewhere when everything he needed was right here?
Jungkook opens his eyes to look at you and he grunts all over again. Your pussy is dripping all over him, creaming his cock so lovingly. There’s a white ring around his cock, evident of how much you were loving this.
“You’re so-“
“Beautiful?” you finished the sentence for Jungkook, giggling. You clench around him and Jungkook hisses.
“It’s true. You are.”
Your heart swells at his words - they aren’t just sex words. Often he would tell you how beautiful he thought you were and of course you were smitten. You thought it was your Jungkook, not this new Jungkook from a different world.
Jungkook allows his hands to roam your naked skin, goosebumps running along his arms. He hisses with a slight shake of his head. “You’re too g-good at this.”
“So were you.” you giggle, grinding against him. “Surprised you never pleasured a girl before.”
“I learn fast.” Jungkook licks his lips, pressing a thumb against your swollen clit, satisfied when you flinch.
While Jungkook's right hand plays with your clit, his left places itself on your ass and squeezes.
Jungkook flickers his eyes up st your face to find that you’re already looking at him. He gives a slight grin - the thrust upwards.
“Fuck, s-stop!” your body flushes with heat. “I was supposed to make you cum this time!”
“You are.” Jungkook hooks both of his arms beneath your thighs and then on your hips to keep you steady. “This birth control means I can cum in you?”
You bite your lip and nod and that's all the confirmation Jungkook needs.
Jungkook begins to pound into you, his pace entirely alarming and there's no build up to it. All he knows is that he’s wanted you for as long as he could remember and in this world he had you - you and whatever birth control was.
Soon the room is filled with wet squelching of your pussy being stuffed so full mixed with Jungkook’s grunts and your whimpers. Your arms wrap around Jungkook’s neck for support and this has Jungkook peppering your skin with kisses.
Jungkook doesn’t stop his pounding, not even when you're trembling and scratching along his back. He only snickers at your actions, far too enthralled in this moment that he doesn’t care what pain you might cause him.
“I-I don’t think-“
“Sshhh,” Jungkook presses his lips on yours to silence your whining. His teeth clap on your bottom lip, tugging slightly. “I know you can take it, baby.”
You came - an embarrassing moment for you. You didn’t hold in the shriek as you do so and it was entirely Jungkook’s fault - his insane stamina, his soft kisses on your skin and the dark whisper of a pet name.
Jungkook groans, your cum dripping out of you and onto him entirely. He could never get enough of you and each thrust has him hating the version of him that left you here crying.
“Gonna cum,” Jungkook huffs, kissing your face entirely. Your eyes are closed tightly and a few whimpers are releasing from your lips due to the overstimulation.
You clench around him as tight as you could to get Jungkook to cum and it works. A few sloppy thrusts and a deep moan later, Jungkook’s cumming deep inside of you - a wave of emotion shudders through his body.
You fall limp against Jungkook while your eyes flutter close. “So tired.” you murmur.
Jungkook places a kiss upon your forehead. “You don’t want those sugar things with the filling?”
You grumble, “It sounds like you want them.”
Jungkook does.
“I’ll put an order for them to be delivered.” you lift yourself and sigh. “How about you just take my phone and go get it? You remember the way?”
Jungkook nods his head and soon, you’re sleeping soundly on the bed.
Jungkook licks his lips as he gets dressed. Currency was different in your world. Though he worked, there was only a certain amount he could ever earn from his job, the rest went towards whatever the Government saw fit - funding the brothel and new technology to advance the world. Even being able to go somewhere and eat was a luxury - it was something the Government also controlled; when and how they got their food.
Jungkook opens the door to the room and stops dead in his tracks.
Jungkook blinks at the familiar face of himself. There’s a piercing on his eyebrow and lip and it causes Jungkook to tilt his head at it.
“What the fuck-“
Jungkook reacts entirely too fast, even before his mind can think of what to do. He watches as the version of himself falls back and holds his nose, blood pooling from his hand.
“You don’t belong here.” Jungkook murmurs , his voice dangerously low. “You don’t deserve her.”
Jungkook is surprised that you don’t awake - maybe you were that exhausted. He doesn’t stop punching until the version of him is unconscious and he’s covered in an alarming amount of blood.
Jungkook huffs. He grabs the versions of him arms and begins to drag him inside the room. He glances at your sleeping figure and feels an emotion go through him. He wants to love you the way you deserve - to care for you like he should be able to.
And with this Jungkook here, he never could.
Jungkook pushes towards the mirror, the ripple effect telling him that there was still time.
There’s a moan - he was waking up. Jungkook curses mentally to himself and pushes as hard as he could to this world’s Jungkook until he’s fully through the mirror.
Now, all he had to do was wait until it was time for the portal to be closed.
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Jungkook’s eyes open, shooting straight up. His eyes look around his surroundings - where the fuck was he?
This wasn’t his room - no, it couldn’t be. It was so dull, dark. Plain - where were the lights he had on his bed? Where were the mirrors he placed up?
Jungkook’s eyes the large window outside, noticing that lights were peaking through. There was a digital clock flashing red numbers. He shakes his head. “What the hell…?”
Jungkook turns towards the mirror in front of him, eyes wide as it begins to crack. He shields himself with his hands as mirror pieces begin to fly on him suddenly, the mirror breaking out of thin air.
Jungkook releases a deep breath, hammer in hand. His chest heaves, the mirror shards surrounding him entirely.
“Kookie?!”
You run inside the room, head flailing around to see what the commotion was. “How did the mirror…” your eyes glance down to the hammer in Jungkook’s hands.
It was now 6 A.M, Jungkook notes, and it was time for his world to wake and go on with their lives - without him.
“I thought you said you were gonna go shower?” Jungkook drops the hammer and turns towards you. “Sorry if I disturbed you.”
You sigh, shoulders relaxing. “It’s okay.” you say. “Is…is the portal gone?”
Jungkook nods his head, for now at least. He’s positive there was a way for him to return through a different mirror - but he had no intentions to. As long as the Utopian world Jungkook didn’t know how to return, he was satisfied.
“Good.” you smile at Jungkook, a genuine smile that warms his heart.
Good - it was good. Now Jungkook could have you like he always has - no strict rules, no Government forcing him to marry a woman he didn’t want.
Just you and him - you & this Jungkook - forever.
@seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @babycandy111
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ddejavvu · 1 year ago
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you’re probably sick of animagus reader fics but if you’re up for it i was wondering whether you were in the mood for some remus x fem reader?
maybe r is a dormouse or smth and just practically stays tucked inside rem’s sweaters or the inside pockets of his robes/blazer. r possibly falls out his sweater is a really crowded corridor (can’t change back) and rem panics cause he doesn’t fancy his girl being flattened <3
You make a mental note, while fleeing the shadows of impending doom that cascade onto the chilled stone floor around you, that you need to make sure Remus never buys another pair of pants with such shallow pockets. You typically cling to the inside of his sweater, but he's bundled up a little too warm for your taste today, and you'd tucked yourself into the linty confines of his corduroys instead.
It had all been going well, until someone had bumped rather aggressively into his thigh, the one that you were pressed worriedly against, and you'd darted to your left to escape the pain. Unfortunately, left was the direction of the pocket's opening, and the fall to the stone tile beneath you had been a monumental one for your small size.
Thankfully, you hadn't splattered against the tile, but you're running for your life now, and you seem to be swimming upstream no matter which direction you turn. There's always feet working against you, feet close to trampling your tail, feet threatening to squash your lungs, and you yearn for the solace of Remus's plush pocket once more.
Remus only gets a few steps away from the spot where you'd tumbled unceremoniously to the ground before he reaches his hand into his pocket, intent on scooping you out and discreetly moving you to his sweater. But there's nothing in his pockets save for a button that had fallen off of the inside of his book bag, and panic seizes his chest in its heavy, unforgiving claws.
"Uh-" He flounders, steps hesitantly stuttering over the floor as the ebb and flow of students around him becomes suffocating. Now, all of a sudden, he's not a part of the crowd, he's what they're fighting against, and he pats down his other pockets in case you'd just moved addresses.
You haven't.
Dropping to his knees is rather difficult amidst a stampede, and it's not only his weary joints that ache, but his hands as disgruntled students hoof over them. He ignores the way his pinky smarts, twinging pink with a pained flush beneath the toe of a third-year, and ducks his head to the ground to see if he can spot you scampering amongst the students.
There's movement all around him, but none if it is your size. Black and red and green and blue and yellow blur through his vision as students of all houses flood the halls, and each second that he doesn't find you alive and well worries at his heart with panic's mangled claws. He thinks he sees you to his left, but- oh, that's a cat, and that's worse, so he ducks even further to the ground, and redoubles his effots.
Thankfully, you've noticed the deviated path the students are now taking, annoyed grumbles about the idiot stooped in the hallway. That's your idiot, you think, and you scamper as fast as your tiny legs allow to meet Remus where he knees.
He sees you coming, his pretty eyes flood with a relief so palpable you can feel it in your own chest, and just before you can scurry into his outstretched hand, you feel something heavy land on your tail and trap you in your place. You feel a puff of breath against your back, and the snare of cat's claws against the meat of your tail, but before the beast can lean down and devour you, Remus lunges for your body, cupping his hand over your trembling form and swatting the animal away.
"Absolutely not, thank you." Remus snaps at the cat, and a second-year gives him a rather apprehensive stare as she hurries around him, "Darling, are you okay?"
You're not very articulate in mouse form, but you manage a thankful squeak, one that Remus smiles fondly at while straightening up.
The cat doesn't look very happy with him, but Remus isn't afraid of a few more scratches on his arm, and you nestle securely into his palm when he straightens, limbs limp with confident exhaustion, that he'd let the cat claw open each one of his scars ten times before he ever let it get a shot at you.
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fuzzyautumninmetal · 4 months ago
Text
Loving Husband pt 5
Olderhusband!Price 🤝 YoungerWife!Reader 🤝 Slight angst
I lowkey kinda made myself cry writing this also writers block sucks ass!!
Cw - slight mention of birth, being cut (not self harm!)
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Part 4 Part 6
You and John had been living in your new home for three months now, the excitement of moving and setting up your life together still fresh in your mind.
At six months along, you look and feel like you're ready to pop any day now. The doctors have told you to take it easy, and John has taken this order to heart. You're only allowed to walk, nothing more strenuous than that. It's frustrating, being confined to such a limited range of motion, but John's dedication to your health and the health of your unborn children is unwavering.
It's this selflessness, this love, that makes you fall in love with John all over again. You had no idea when you married him that he would be such a devoted husband and father. But here he is, taking care of you in every way possible, always putting your needs above his own.
Standing beside you, John watched as you carefully moved around the house. The pregnancy glow suited you, highlighting the curves of your body and bringing out the softness in your features. Even when you were irritated by the restrictions placed upon you, he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you.
There was a time when he thought he'd never find someone who could handle the rigors of his life. Someone who could deal with the constant danger, the long periods of separation, and the stress of being married to a soldier. But then he met you, and everything changed.
Seeing you like this, so vulnerable yet so resilient, made his heart ache. But it also filled him with pride. Pride in knowing that he had chosen well, that he had found someone who loved him despite all his flaws.
As you walked around the house, you couldn't help but notice the way John looked at you. There was something about the way his blue eyes took in every detail of your body that sent a thrill through you. "You're staring darling," you smiled at him as you waddled towards the sofa.
Following you to the couch, John couldn't help but let his gaze wander over your form once more. The sight of you swollen with his children was enough to make his heart race.
"Can't help it, sweetheart," he said with a shrug, sitting down next to you. "You're looking even more beautiful these days."
His hand hovered near your belly, tempted to touch the bump where their babies were growing. But he resisted, instead choosing to content himself with watching the gentle rise and fall of your stomach as you breathed.
"How are our little angels doing today?" He asked softly, his voice filled with paternal concern.
You saw John's restriction when he came to touch your swollen stomach, it made you chuckled honestly. "You can touch my stomach you know" you smiled softly as you grabbed his hands to place on your stomach.
"They're kicking up a storm today" You replied with a smile. "I think they're going to be just like their dad. Always full of energy"
Feeling the subtle movements beneath his palm, John couldn't suppress the swell of emotion that welled up inside him. His kids were alive, thriving, and already causing trouble.
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Full of energy is good. Keeps them strong."
He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your stomach before pulling away. The sensation of those tiny kicks against his hand was enough to send shivers down his spine. "Are they going to be as stubborn as their mum?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Your cheeks flushed slightly at his words, but you couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped your lips. "I am not stubborn" you said with a grin as you grabbed his chin to bring him in for a gentle kiss.
Caught off guard by your sudden move, John felt a jolt of desire course through him. The kiss was sweet and tender, making him wish that he could pick you up and carry you to bed, where he could worship every inch of your body. But he knew that wasn't an option right now, so he settled for the kiss. "Mmm..." he hummed against your lips before pulling away. "Still stubborn, I see."
After the kiss, you pulled back with a smirk on your face. "Maybe a bit" You murmured as you pulled him for another kiss.
Caught off guard by your sudden forwardness, John found himself responding to your kiss eagerly. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer into his chest. His hand slid down to cup your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"But I love you anyway," he whispered against your lips before kissing you again.
You pulled back from the kiss with a grin, "you better!" You kissed the tip of his nose before propping your feet up onto the coffee table, "will you massage my feet please, they feel like balloons." You chuckled as you looked at your swollen feet, so swollen you have to wear crocks when you go out now. Fucking crocks.
With a chuckle, John obliged, taking one of your feet into his large, calloused hands. He began to gently massage the arch of your foot, applying pressure to the sensitive spots.
"Gladly, love," he murmured, focusing on the task at hand. Despite the situation, he couldn't help but admire the softness of your skin under his rough palms. "It's hard seeing you like this," *he admitted after a moment, "but I wouldn't trade it for anything else."
You sighed softly as he massaged your feet, feeling the tension leaving them as he worked on each toe individually. "Just thinking of the 3 beautiful children we'll have" you replied softly as you closed your eyes enjoying the massage.
Continuing to work on your feet, John couldn't help but marvel at the changes that pregnancy had brought about in you. Your body now rounded and lush, carrying the fruit of their love. "It's strange," he mused aloud, "how something as miraculous as childbirth can also be so terrifying."
As he massaged your feet, you closed your eyes letting out a sigh of relief. "You're telling me," you said with a small laugh. "You're not the one that will have to push them out....or get cut open to get them out" you couldn't help but laugh slightly again as John began messaging your other foot.
At your laughter, John's own chuckle rumbled deep within his chest. He couldn't deny there was some truth to what you were saying. "But don't forget who will be there by your side when it happens," he reminded you, switching to massage your other foot. "Who will hold your hand and tell you everything will be alright." His fingers traced over the sole of your foot, finding all the tender spots until they reached your toes.
You let out a contented sigh as he continued to massage your feet. "That reminds me. I have a midwife appointment tomorrow for a check-up, I can't remember if you're on base or not tomorrow." You asked with a smile as you wiggled your toes.
Hearing about the appointment, John's expression softened. He loved these moments, listening to the heartbeat of their unborn children. It was almost magical, in its way.
"I'll be there," he assured you, his tone firm yet gentle. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." His fingers continued to work on your toes, giving them a gentle squeeze before moving back up towards your heel.
You smile at his answer, feeling happy knowing he would be there with you. "Good," you say, "I'd hate to go without you." You smiled lightly as he moves to your other foot, the massage feeling amazing, and you find yourself sinking deeper into the couch.
Once John finishes massaging your feet, he parts your thighs slightly so he can kneel in between them. He gently places his hands on your swollen belly and rests his forehead on your stomach. He lets out a soft sigh, one sign that something is wrong.
"I know you John. What's wrong?"
"This job," he begins, his voice low and thick with worry. "I'm going to miss so much, I might miss their first steps, their first laugh, their first words…" John always acts strong, he has to being a Captain, but you know him. You know him better than himself.
"I knew what I was getting myself into when I married you," you say, your voice firm but laced with love. You cup his cheeks with your hands so John would look up at you. "Our children won't mind anyway. You want to know why?"
He lifted his gaze to meet yours, his blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The vulnerability in those eyes only made you love him more. "Why?" he echoed, a hint of curiosity mixed with a heavy dose of scepticism in his voice.
"Because," you continue, your voice softening, "they will know that their daddy is a hero. They will know that he's out there fighting for the world, fighting for their future. They will be proud."
John nodded slowly, his grip tightening on your hips as he took in your words. There was a part of him that wanted to believe you, to take comfort in the thought that their children would understand. "And what about you?" he asked quietly, "How will you explain it to them? How will you tell them that their father wasn't there because he chose to be away?" Even though he knew it was a rhetorical question, he needed to hear your response.
You place a finger on his lips silencing him momentarily. "I'll tell them the same thing," you say, "that their daddy is a hero. That he fights for people he doesn't even know. And that while he does that, he thinks of us. Always."
"You're my hero John. I've never doubted that. And our kids won't either."
He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes as he savoured the warmth of your finger against his lips. In that moment, he felt like the luckiest man alive – to have found someone like you, who could see past the uniform and the rank.
"Damn, I love you," he murmured against your skin, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than anything else in this world." He then placed a gentle kiss on your belly, his affection for the three little lives growing inside you evident in every movement he made.
Your heart swells with love for John as he whispers his love for you. You reach down and run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to your body. "And I love you, more than anything else in this world too."
You kiss the top of his head, inhaling his scent. You are both silent for a moment, just enjoying each other's company.
The weight of your love pressed down on him, grounding him in a way nothing else could. His arms tightened around your waist, holding onto you as if you were the last piece of sanity in an otherwise chaotic world.
He looked up at you, his blue eyes shining with a mix of love and admiration. "You know, I sometimes wonder if I deserve you." There was a hint of self-doubt in his voice, something he rarely showed, especially not to you.
You tilt your head, looking down at John with a small smile playing on your lips. "Why would you ever think that?" You ask, genuinely confused.
He shrugged, his brow furrowed in thought. "I mean, here I am, off fighting wars, missing milestones, while you're here carrying our children, preparing for their arrival..." His voice trailed off, as if he was unsure whether he should finish what he started. But the truth was, he had plenty of reasons to doubt himself.
"It's not fair to you," he finally said, his voice low and sincere. "You deserve better than a husband who's always away. A husband who can't give you what you need..."
You gently grabbed John's cheeks to look at you. "Don't," you whispered, your thumb stroking his cheek. "Don't say that."
He sighed softly, leaning into your touch as if seeking comfort from your hand. He closed his eyes briefly, savouring the sensation of your thumb against his skin.
"Don't what?" he asked, opening his eyes to meet yours again. "Tell the truth? Because it's the truth, sweetheart. You deserve a husband who can stay home, who can be there for you and the babies..."
As your trembling voice whispered, "Shh," silence enveloped you. Your breath hitched, tears threatening to cascade down your cheeks. "I want you, John."
John's glassy eyes held a mixture of pain and longing. "You deserve better," he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.
"No," you protested, your voice a feeble plea. "I don't want better. I have you." Warm tears escaped, trailing down your face. "You're not just my husband. You're my best friend, my lover, my partner...my everything."
He watched as the tears rolled down your cheeks, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. He didn't want to cause you pain, but he also couldn't deny the truth.
"But I'm not there for you, sweetheart," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Not like I should be..."
You shook your head, wiping away the tears with the back of your hand. "You're here now," you said softly, reaching down to cup his face in your hands. "That's all that matters."
He let out a shaky breath, feeling the warmth of your hands on his face. He gazed up at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion* "But I can't help but feel like I'm failing you. Failing our family..."
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his. "Stop it, John. Please," you whispered. "You're not failing me. Failing us."
He exhaled deeply, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging within him. The weight of his duty was heavy, but the love he felt for you and the unborn children was heavier still. "Sometimes I wish..." his voice trailed off, the words dying on his lips before they could fully form.
He hesitated, clearly struggling with his thoughts. After a long pause, he continued. "Sometimes I wish I could leave it all behind - the war, the danger, the constant uncertainty. Just so I could focus on building a life with you, raising our children together..."
His gaze drifted over your features, committing every detail to memory. The way the light danced in your eyes, the curve of your lips, the softness of your skin beneath his fingertips...
"But that's not reality, is it?" he asked, his tone tinged with resignation. "Reality is me being called away, leaving you to handle things on your own...again."
You grab his hand, pressing it against your stomach. "But it will be in the future," you say, your voice firm. "When you retire. We'll be together finally, you can chase our children around the garden, spoil them rotten. Finally treat yourself to that bike you've always wanted." You chuckle, the sound light and carefree.
John's eyes flicker to your face, a ghost of a smile forming.
"But not yet dear," you continue, cupping his face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. "You're not done saving the world, you're not done being the hero everyone needs."
His face softens, his gaze melting into yours. The weight of the world is there in his eyes, but so is love, a deep and unwavering love that knows no bounds. You know he's fighting a battle, a war within himself, but you also know that he'll choose you, always. He will come back to you, your haven, your love. He will come home.
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he listened to you speak, your words washing over him like a soothing balm. He knew you were right - he wasn't ready to retire just yet. There was still work to be done, lives to save, threats to neutralize.
"You're right," he conceded, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not done yet. Not by a long shot." He paused, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. "But I promise you this, sweetheart - when the time comes, I'll be here. For you, for our family. Always." He sealed his vow with a tender kiss, pouring all his love and devotion into the simple gesture. "I love you more than anything in this world. Never forget that."
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bwabys-scenarios · 1 year ago
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Hello first timer here, Can I request for hcs for Gojo, Nanami and Choso wherein their frail darling manages to escape but not so far because they end up getting a fever from all the stress
No Escape
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
REQUESTS: OPEN
warnings: obsessive behavior, kidnapping, delusional mindset, choso breaks your leg
taglist:
If you would like to be added to the SFW Yandere!JJK taglist, please comment a ❤️(red heart emoji). You must have your age in your bio and have a tagable/mentionable blog!
Yandere Prompt List
Gojo
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-He doesn’t keep you too locked up considering you’re not very strong, even a bit frail.
-You are usually left alone in his home when he’s busy, just with the front door locked. He’s already made you well aware that no matter what you do, he’ll always find you
-Unfortunately, you’re tired of being imprisoned and want to go outside. It wasn’t your attempt to escape really, you just wanted some fresh air and time in the sun.
-You didn’t expect it to be so cold. You only had on a pair of socks and slippers, along with a tshirt and pajama pants. As you walk around, you notice how out of the way your “home” is. Even if you wanted to run to someone for help, you couldn’t. If you did happen upon someone, Gojo may just kill them for trying to help you.
-After walking for 30 minutes, you collapse in the snow from fever. It doesn’t take long once Gojo comes home for him to find you. He’s nearly distraught with worry, taking you back to his home and calling Shoko to come take a look at you.
-When you wake up, instead of a punishment or yelling, he pulls you into his arms. This is the first time you’ve seen Gojo cry. “Please… never worry me like that again. I was terrified that I lost you…”
Nanami
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-Now, even despite your condition, Nanami is much more careful keeping you confined and safe. It’s almost obsessive with the way he fawns over you, making sure you’re comfortable yet also being gator you’re not very capable of escaping.
-Even though you’re treated well, being locked up is boring. One day, you decide to attempt an escape, wanting your freedom.
-You don’t get very far before you collapse, your frail body and midn too stressed to continue. When Nanami finds you, he picks you up as gently as possible and carries you home.
-for your bad behavior you’re now forced to wear a chain on your ankle when he leaves, but to nip the problem of your boredom in the bud, he allows you to watch TV and buys you new books to keep your mind occupied. Nanami isn’t evil and he knows what he’s done to you is wrong, so he tries to be understanding and keep you comfortable.
-He is more cautious and paranoid for the next few weeks though, barely leaving you home alone for more than thirty minutes. It’s not that he thinks you’ll actually have a successful escape attempt, no, he doesn’t want you to get yourself hurt from over exertion.
Choso
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-You are very much infantilized by Choso. He treats you like a sickly child, trying to feed and bathe you when you’re feeling tired. He never thought you would even think of escaping his grasp. In his mind, you desperately need his care and attention to survive.
-So when he finds you collapsed in the middle of the woods a few yards away from the small cabin he put you in, let’s just say he goes full on insane with worry and stress.
-He carries you back of course, making sure your fever is down before he settles on what he’s going to do. Choso’s delusional mind has been confronted with the fact that you’re not as innocent and frail as he thought. He’ll need to take drastic measures to insure you don’t get out again.
-he has tears streaming down his face when he breaks your leg, sobbing out apologies while you scream in agony. “So sorry princess, it’s for your own good, I promise. Shh, shh, don’t cry. It won’t hurt for much longer.”
-He has always called you princess, but after breaking your leg you are treated like one more than before. He does everything for you, making sure you take your pain medicine and eat well. Choso even bathes you, and is glad to see your need to escape vanish once you’re all healed. He only has to remind you of this experience when you’re being bratty once for you to fall in line.
-Choso hates that you fear him, but he’s happy you’re more compliant now. It means you’re safe, and if he has to be the villain to maintain your safety, so be it.
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ozzgin · 1 year ago
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Various Predators x Predator! Reader (IV)
@avaleigh16 asked (a very long time ago, sorry for the wait!!) for a fourth part to the Predator saga, where Reader is brought to Yautja Prime. Therefore I bring a potential sequel that focuses on Predator culture, depending on who you’ve chosen as your partner!
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Horror Masterlist]
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Feral Predator
As promised, your new home didn’t stray much from your expectations. Feral Predator is from a different hemisphere, of a drier climate. The imposing, sprawling megalopolis of Yautja Prime is but a distant outline, fading before the marvels of raw, unforgiving nature this place has to offer. Tribal architecture and interminable tunnels are the prominent features of these ancient cities. One has no need for advanced technology. In a way, it does remind you of Earth, of your modest countryside roots. Communities are made of small family units, so days are spent hunting or training in the company of your partner. Feral Predator is a patient and caring father, guiding his offspring and showing them the ropes of survival. There will be frequent visits to Earth as he, too, favors its wilderness, especially when it comes to honing one’s skills. While he treats you as an equal, he does hold you in significantly high regards as the mother of his children.
Elite Predator
With great status comes great responsibility. Elite Predator has been eyeing the Elder status for some time now, in order to provide you with one further reason to be grateful for choosing him. That implies, naturally, that he is often on special missions to teach or rescue Young Bloods, or clear out Alien infestations. Your offspring will go through Spartan training as soon as they can crawl their way around: it would be shameful if his own younglings end up weak or devoid of skill. Although he does not worry about such outcome. He hasn’t picked you out of random chance. Only someone of his level could’ve made it as his mate, and he was certain of it from the moment he saw you. Hopefully you, too, can tell that this outcome was fated to happen. You most certainly won’t regret your life with him, he will make sure of that.
Fugitive Bad Blood
If you were hoping for an idyllic, peaceful life in a humble hut with ocean view, I have some bad news for you. Even settling on Yautja Prime is an optimistic stretch when your partner is a criminal on the run. You’ve unwillingly followed in the footsteps of your parents, watching your child grow from within the confinements of a ship, sailing through space with no ultimate goal. Not all is grim, however. Despite his ruthless nature, the Fugitive has kept his word when it comes to being a fitting partner for you. Your wish is his command and he will not allow anything endanger his family. To your great shock, he’s even willing to take risky detours on Earth whenever you feel particularly nostalgic. He will stare at you incredulously; why the hell would he have gone through all the efforts to court you if he didn’t want you as a partner? Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with already? Whatever your heart desires, he will make it possible.
Berserker
The Super Predator cannot wait for his younglings to be old enough to begin their hunt. He lives to kill and one can easily tell from his impressive collection of trophies he has gathered from all across the Universe. Truth be told, you’re somewhat afraid to see the outcome of your copulation. Berserker Yautja are much larger and much more aggressive than your species. You’d assumed his first choice for a mate should’ve been from his own kind, but for reasons unknown he’s preyed on you instead. The Berserker seems to have a fervent attachment towards you and will even growl at his own sucklings if they show any sign of disrespect. There’s not much space for freedom and sometimes you feel like you’re trapped under the suffocating affections of a savage animal ready to defend its territory. From his point of view, you should enjoy the privilege of belonging to the superior Predator. There’s no one out there that could go against him.
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bloatedandalone04 · 2 years ago
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Cosmic Love
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➪the one where you break anakin’s heart after he unknowingly broke yours.
Part 2
Warnings: angst af, emotional cheating (kinda ?), insecurities, self deprecating thoughts, anakin slipping to the dark side and being oblivious half the time, quite possible that the reader is depressed without knowing it
Word Count: 4k
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3
You weren’t sure when things went wrong. You weren’t sure what happened. 
You were in love, you were sure of it, and so was he. The feeling of love still filled your every vein when you thought about the dark haired Jedi, so you knew for a fact that you were still in love with him. 
Anakin Skywalker.
Even his name had your heart racing. 
You couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t in love with him. It was clear that your feelings for him ran deep and had for a long time, long before you even knew what these feelings meant. 
It was only as recent as two years since you had labelled those feelings as love, and ever since then you two had been inseparable. 
Until now. 
The Jedi temple was large and had countless hallways and passages. It was easy to get lost in if you didn’t know your way around the place. It was also easy to walk in on things you maybe weren’t supposed to see. 
Like the way Anakin’s fingers brushed against hers as they greeted each other. Or the way his smile was bright, charming and kind, while hers was shy, genuine and showed the words she didn’t say.
He was slipping away, you feared. 
Or maybe you were.
Maybe you were giving her the chance she had wanted for years to slip in and steal the heart of the man you are in love with.
The man who was in love with you - is in love with you, right? 
Perhaps. 
You felt pathetic for the first time in a long time. Anakin never allowed you to feel anything negative about yourself as he put your worries to rest and helped you fight your insecurities. 
Whenever you felt that sickly feeling of unworthiness creep into your skin, he was right there next to you. He made sure that you always knew just how important and needed you are.
You had a connection and he felt it every time you became stressed or worried about something, and he was always the person who talked you down, both verbally and mentally. 
Was your connection fading?
Is that why you have begun to feel unworthy again, much like how you felt when you first allowed yourselves to fall in love? Is that why he hadn’t seemed to notice your mood that was rapidly declining and the way you would berate yourself in your head?
You weren’t sure anymore. You didn’t know where you fit into his life anymore as he seemed to be thriving every time he left the confines of your secret shared room. 
That room was just a placeholder for what your future plans were. Anakin had mentioned that he had been looking at apartments in the city for the two of you, a place you could call your own, a place where you two can just be together without a care. 
Without the prying eyes of the Jedi or the suspicious glares from the Masters. Without the possibility of falling for someone else. 
You missed him when he ventured outside the walls of your room. You missed him when he was right next to you. He was there, by your side, yet you still missed him. The distance that was steadily growing between you was present every time you were together, something he didn’t seem to notice.
Anakin was clueless of what was going on around him, he was powerless to stop the doubts and accusations that swam in an endless pool inside your head. To keep it simple; Anakin’s entire world was falling apart in front of him, yet he had no idea of the damage that was currently being inflicted on his relationship with you. 
He was oblivious to the ache you felt whenever he was deep in conversation with Padmè, the way your heart deflated bit by bit when he showed off new devices to the Senator, and the dull stab that pierced your being whenever he slipped up and told her stories that he had only meant to tell you.
In all honesty, the man was blind to how his actions were affecting you.
You wished you understood the feelings that overtook your body whenever you caught the two together. It was a heat nearly as hot as fire, a taste as bitter as anything else and a flicker of the thought of not being enough for the man you had been in love with for many years now. The same man who had only been yours for two years.
Though, to Anakin, he had been yours since the minute he set eyes on you.
You were fourteen when you met him, and he was sixteen. It was a few years later when the secret glances and wishful stares just weren’t enough anymore, and at the age of twenty one he had asked you to be his. Your nineteen year old self was ecstatic and clueless to the consequences that would come with forming a relationship with the Jedi, but at the time you didn’t care.
Now, at the same age he was when he confessed his feelings for you, the weight of your actions was finally catching up to you. 
You didn’t regret all that had happened in the last two years, no, not at all. In fact, they were the best years of your life. You just wished you had realized how doomed it was from the start.
Anakin was the brightest and most well-presented Jedi. He wasn’t allowed to form bonds or connect with people in the ways he has with you, yet that didn’t stop his heart from falling for yours when he was just a teen.
With that being said, the relationship had its issues from the beginning, back when the two of you were just relieved at knowing the feelings were mutual. It was never supposed to last.
That much was certain as you sat completely still on the bed, your legs crossed and your hands tucked away in the gap between your thighs. Your robe hung loosely on your form, the silk doing very little to stop the chills that grazed against your skin from the night air that creeped in through the open window. 
Your heartbeat was slower than normal as you tried to push away the negative thoughts that had plagued your mind for weeks now. Closing your eyes tightly, you thought back to past memories of your time spent with Anakin, back when you felt needed and wanted and desired. 
You thought back to your first kiss, the way his lips pressed to yours in a way that told you it was the first one he had ever shared. He had waited years for you, pushed away countless attempts to be the first person he experienced physical love with, all so he could say that you were his first.
His first love.
His first kiss.
His first time.
You remember that night like it was yesterday. Anakin was nervous but never allowed himself to show it as he was far too concerned with making you feel as comfortable as possible. His hand never left yours as his hips rocked into you for what felt like hours, the two of you being completely done for as your sounds mixed together to create a song that only belonged to you.
The night was full of love, need and warmth. Something you had been craving since the second your insecurities came spiralling back to you. 
The door opened, followed by the one that led into your bedroom. 
Anakin froze in the doorway, his gloved hand still on the knob as he looked at your tense form. He debated on whether or not to turn back around and apologise later for interrupting your meditation, but when your eyes opened to meet his he knew he was too late. 
So, instead, he closed the door, set his lightsaber onto the dresser next to it before crossing the room and reaching for the window. “It’s cold tonight,” he said as he pulled the window shut and covered the glass with the dark curtains. When you didn’t respond to him, and didn’t even look at him, he walked the few steps towards the bed and reached out to you. “You must be freezing-”
His words die on his tongue when you involuntarily flinch away from him, his dark brows coming together in a furrow. 
“What’s wrong?” He questioned, forgoing his original plan to dress himself in his sleep attire before joining you on the bed. Still covered by the long clothes he had been wearing all day, he sat beside you and tried his best to get you to meet his eyes. “Talk to me, my love.”
Your bottom lip quivered as you refused to look at him, your hands moving to rest on your knees. “I can’t,” it came out as a whisper and the lack of your usual cheery voice had Anakin’s eyes narrowing in worry.
“Why not?” He wanted to touch you but he also knew your limits. Right now you were well past the point of being completely closed off and he wasn’t sure what he would trigger in you if he were to take your hand in his, like he wanted to.
Keeping your eyes glued to the floor, you turn your head just slightly as a sinking feeling takes over your chest. “I fear I’ve fallen ill,” you say quietly, tears gathering on your lower waterline as you finally grant him the gift of making eye contact.  
“What’s wrong?” He asked again, his left hand coming up to gently rest against your forehead. You hate how easily you lean into it. “Are you hurt?”
You nod and close your eyes again, causing a few tears to spill down the length of your face. 
Anakin felt his heart drop at your movement, his hand falling from your head to rest on your shoulder. His fingers gently press into your tense muscles as he asks, “Where does it hurt?”
Not being able to answer him with words quite yet, you bring one hand up to rest against your chest, just over where your heart was beating rapidly now. 
He shakes his head as a quiet sob takes over your body and he quickly wraps his arm around you. Pulling you into his side and running a comforting hand through your hair, he tries to make sense of what little information you had given him. “I don’t understand, angel,” he nearly whispers, not wanting to upset you further as you were clearly in a very fragile state of mind at the moment. “What do you mean your heart hurts?”
Taking in a shaky breath, you pull away from him and miss the look of hurt and confusion that flashes across his achingly beautiful face. “I don’t feel like myself anymore,” you murmur, your words muffled due to the build up of saliva in your mouth. “I don’t feel loved anymore.”
If there was a sure way to break Anakin’s heart, you had just done it with your words. He shook his head quickly, eyes squinting as he looked at you. “How could you ever feel that way?” He asked and placed his hand on your knee, his brows further furrowing when you pulled away from him. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”
“Because,” you whimpered, wrapping the robe around you tighter and bunching the fabric up in your hands. “It hurts, Anakin.”
He reeled back in surprise, your words having completely caught him off guard. “What are you talking about? I’ve touched you many times before, you’ve never acted this way then,”
Shaking your head, you watch as a tear slips from your eye and lands on the sheets below you. “I don’t think you could ever hurt me with your hands,” you trail off, further confusing the poor man beside you.
“Baby,” the nickname was one he rarely used and you knew he was beginning to feel scared, nervous and frustrated all at once as it rolled off his tongue without a second thought. “Talk to me, please.”
You repeat your earlier words, “I can’t,”
Your words and the way you had become so closed in a matter of seconds had his heart beating cautiously in his chest, its way of protecting itself and preparing him for the ache he had a feeling was approaching fast. “Please,” he begged, desperate for anything at this point.
He didn’t know what happened or what was going on in that head of yours, but he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You weren’t giving him much to go off of and it was driving him wild, his head coming up with various outcomes of this conversation, none of which ended well.
When you didn’t answer him or show him any form of comfort, his body betrayed his mind as it seeked out a sense of normalcy and had his arm reaching out once again, this time his hand wrapping tightly around your wrist when his frustration became too much. 
You turned to him, your teary eyes meeting his scared blue ones. “I don’t see a future with you anymore,” you mumbled, keeping eye contact. Anakin reeled back again, his hand pulling away from your arm as it no longer rewarded him with the sweet feeling that always came when he touched you. 
“What?”
You swallowed harshly, your eyes looking down at the curve of his lips before settling back on his blue orbs. “I’m worried you’ve given your heart away to someone else. Someone who I don’t compare to,” you looked down at your shaking hands, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes to regain a sliver of strength back. “Padmè is a true gem, Anakin. I can see why she captivates you so much.”
Anakin couldn’t let you go on, not when he had no idea what you were talking about. “I don’t understand,” he shook his head, putting a pause to your compliments of the woman he considered a friend and that was it. “What is this about?”
You give him a little shrug, guilty eyes meeting his. “I’ve been feeling lonely, I guess,” 
He looked down as he tried to find the right words to say. A million questions swam around in his head, all of which he had no answer to. 
How had he not noticed this?
How long have you been feeling this way? Lonely, left out, neglected.
Why hadn’t he realised that you were lost and needed him to help bring you back?
He had sworn to both you and himself that he would never leave you alone to the point where you would begin to question his intentions and the meaning of your relationship that he held so closely to his heart. “Why haven’t you told me this?” He asked, then regretfully added, “What does Padmè have to do with all this?”
He wished he didn’t ask about that last part.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her. Seems like the two of you have gotten quite close,” you answer the question and continue, “I haven’t seen you much lately, not alone, anyway. Every time I went in search of you, I’d find you with her, talking about the things you have only ever shared with me.”
Maybe you were selfish, but you pushed away all thoughts to keep him by your side. In reality, it was you slipping away from him, not the other way around like you had thought it was. 
Unbeknownst to you, the type of person you are is one who needs reassurance and guidance. Not all the time, not even often. Just every once in a while would suffice. The fact that you hadn’t had a heart to heart with Anakin in months, and the fact that he was MIA half the time, mixed with the return of your past worries only left you feeling abandoned and not needed. 
“I fear you’ve bonded with her without even realising it,”
“No,” he shut that down quickly, his legs moving before his brain could catch up with them. He lifted himself from the bed and stood in front of your shaking frame from your place on the edge. “No. No, stars, how could you say that?”
Your words felt like they were causing him physical pain and he didn’t want to hear anymore. 
You were the light of his life, the reason he fought so hard whenever he was sent away on missions, and the sole purpose of wanting a better future. In all honesty, Anakin couldn’t see a future without you in it. You are by far the most important person in his life and the one he couldn’t live without. It worried him at first when his feelings for you went beyond anything he had ever felt, but you whisked away his worries by peppering his face with kisses whenever he returned to your shared room after a long day and filled his heart with an almost overwhelming amount of love.
Your hands tore away any stress he took home with him in gentle caresses and your smile made any bad and dark day seem a bit brighter. 
Without a doubt, you are the love of his life, and he hates that you have begun to question that, as well as your importance in his life. “I can’t help it,” you say quietly, your voice shaking slightly. “The doubts have come back, Anakin. I can’t fight them on my own anymore. I tried, but I keep failing to feel that sense of belonging like before.”
Anakin fell to his knees before you, his hands reaching for yours and pressing kiss after kiss to the back of them. “Let me help you, please. I can fix this, I can save us, you just have to let me in…just like before,” he felt like a poor excuse of a lover at this point, his failure to realise that you were a shell of your former self now weighing heavy on him, but that didn’t stop him from getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. A second chance. “Please, my love..come back to me.”
Your eyes shut tightly as more tears rushed down your face and you could no longer look at him. “For months I’ve been wanting to hear you say that,” you trail off, still not opening your eyes and further closing yourself off. “Now that you have….I still don’t feel any better.”
He was too late. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before grazing the back of your hand against the side of his face as he stares up at you. “I’m here. I’m still me and we’re still us.”
Even though it was clear you no longer believed that. 
His words should’ve been enough. You should’ve been reassured by now, but you weren’t. You weren’t sure why his words went right through you and you didn’t want to find out just how far you’ve slipped from reality. How far you’ve slipped from him.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he tried desperately to get you to meet his eyes. “My heart is yours, angel. It always has been and it always will be. There is no other person in the galaxy who will ever get me in the way you do. We’re meant to be together, my love. I know we are, you know we are. Why won’t you let me in?”
Your head shakes as you open your eyes, your hand turning in his grip and softly caressing the side of his face, something that never failed to bring him comfort. As soon as he felt his heart start to heal from your touch, all was dulled again as you murmured the words that will haunt him forever. “I’m sorry, Ankin,” you whisper, pulling your hand away all too soon and standing up, making his other hand fall from where it was wrapped around your waist. “We tried.”
Walking past him, you open the door to the room and make your exit. Anakin stands up quickly, his heart beating loudly in his ears as he follows you out like a lost soul trying to find its way back to its person. “Please, please, don’t do this,” he begs as the first of many tears leave his eyes. His hand wraps around your wrist and due to his strength, he successfully puts a pause on your escape. “I love you, more than anything else. Please.”
You tense under his heart broken stare and allow him to place your hand over his heart, where you could just barely feel the quick beats against your fingers. 
“Please, don’t leave me,” he whimpered, pressing your hand harder against his chest. “Please, it hurts.”
The thought of losing you had manifested into physical pain as he watched everything he ever knew be ripped away from his grasp. He was ashamed that the continuous stabs he felt to his heart were the same ones you had been feeling for months, causing you to suffer in silence behind closed doors. 
You hold back a sob as you bring both hands up to caress his face, pulling him down just slightly so his forehead was pressed to yours. Anakin resisted the urge to close the distance completely and kiss you with everything he had in him - his last resort as clearly his words weren’t effective at all - and show you that he really could not function properly without you. 
Instead, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and he pulled you into him so your chest was pressed to his. “I don’t wish to cause you any pain, Anakin,” you whispered, basking in your last moments with him. With a chaste kiss placed to his temple, you ignore the quiet whimpers that left his lips. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
You pry yourself away from him and quickly open the door, fleeing into the empty and dark hallway.
Anakin cried out, his hands reaching out for you until your smaller frame used its advantage of being much quicker than him and disappeared from his sight. He stumbled around the dark room, everything feeling a lot quieter and heavier now that your presence was fading away. He fell against the wall, his body giving up and causing him to slide downwards until he hit the floor with a painful thud - a pain of which didn’t register very well as he had become lost.
His head had seemed to dissolve any and all happy memories he shared with you, only being met with the few arguments the two of you had shared during your years together. They hit him harder than they did when they first occurred, something that sent jolts of pain to his entire being.
He would give anything to have this just be the result of another disagreement, one that left the both of you frustrated and angry, but still together. One where, despite your harsh tones, you were still each other’s person. One where you were left with the reassurance that everything would eventually work itself out, as long as you didn’t give up on one another. 
And Anakin Skywalker will never give up on you, even after you had just broken his entire soul and left before he got the chance to pick himself back up and fight for you some more. 
His eyes stay fixated on the tall window, his pupils dilating just slightly as he feels a particularly sharp stab to his heart, followed by a sudden urge to turn everything that surrounds him upside down in hopes to dull the emptiness that had formed within him. 
A darkness circled around him and it was something he had never felt nor seen before. All he knew was that it felt so inviting, so warm and as though it would provide Anakin the comfort he hadn’t felt since he returned home.
-
First time writing for Anakin <3 I'm in my Hayden era (for the 987th time) and currently resisting writing for his other characters.
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peppermint-monster · 6 months ago
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Rengoku Kyojuro. X Chubby Reader!
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Warning: Dirty Talk, Handjob (solo), Petname (Little Flame), Fingering (Female Receiving), Spanking, Caught, Oral sex (female receiving), Rengoku being a tease. Basically, NSFW. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Also, be mindful that I didn't really mention much of the reader's appearance (besides, she's a female) since I wanted to keep it vague for everyone to relate as much as possible, though it is definitely for the more voluptuous side of ladies. 😊
Please be mindful that the photos are not mine, but the making of the collage is.
MINORS DNI!!!! 🔞🙅🏻‍♀️If you're not comfortable with this, please ignore!
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Rengoku X Chubby Reader!
Rengoku Kyojuro was definitely the golden retriever to her black cat; he was radiant, positive, and motivated compared to her aggravated, gloomy, apathetic demeanor. In all honesty, he was odd. Nonetheless, he was her master, and she was his apprentice, someone she admired and looked up to but secretly craved.
He was the sweetest man she had ever met. 
Treating her so well that he made up numerous training exercises that were much easier for her, also allowing her to train graciously by his side, whipping her into proper shape. Though being a Demon slayer was no easy task, it was mentally and physically draining, often leaving her body sore and her fingers cut with callousness. Afterward, as a celebration, he would take her to eat, saying his signature phrase, “Umai!”
His unexpected, amusing outburst caused her to discreetly smile at herself while taking a bite of her rice.
When he finally took her to her first mission, Master Ren~ was there every step of the way. He supported her in every way until the demon they were hunting got the upper hand, catching her off guard. The demon was about to strike her, but a sudden thump seemed to pause that. 
That thing was the demon's dismembered hand, which caused them to scream in anguish. She was so caught up in thinking about what her mentor had done that she didn't notice him moving in front of her in a battle stance. “Don't worry, I got this.”
Okay, so…her first mission wasn't the best. She even apologized for almost getting them both killed, bowing over with her face heating up in embarrassment and tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
“You’re right. That was reckless of you, but it was also irresponsible of me to think you were ready.”
“I'm sorry.” She failed her Master's.
“But with how things could have gone, I could say you did better than expected, and that counts.” He sighed, placing his hand on her head and patting it.
Why was he so nice to her when he should be lashing out? She doesn't get it but can't help her heart from beating fast.
Despite her reluctance, they are now at Butterfly Manor, per her master's directive. Miss Shinobu insists that she be confined to bed rest for days to recuperate and avoid overworking, while her mentor has gone on a solo expedition, leaving her feeling disheartened.
Thanks to the help of the sweet caterpillar triplets, she was able to heal correctly, much to her relief. With such happiness, she wanted to get back on track and improve her training with her mentor. 
For that to happen, she needed to let him know she was okay.
Despite being under house arrest and having only seen Master Rengoku once, she couldn't resist the urge to visit him upon learning of his return. Even though she knew it was wrong, she sneaked through the dark corridors and stood directly in front of his chamber.
With nerves building up inside, she lightly knocks on the sliding door.
Knock
Knock
A moment passed of dead silence. No noise coming from the inside can be heard.
Feeling intrusive and not wanting to bother the man, she turns to walk away but stops mid-step when she hears faint sounds coming from his room. Overthinking the worst and believing Rengoku had been injured during his assignment or had perhaps drawn an intruder his way, she bursts through the sliding door, expecting to see her mentor hurt and struggling to bandage himself up or someone ready to strike. 
Instead, she was met with his arms, keeping his upper body upward as he lay, there the gracious Flame Pillar himself, Rengoku Kyojuro, was in bed, desperately stroking his heaving member.
In disarray, the iconic uniform worn by all Demon Slayer members was noticeably absent. Instead, leaving him draped in a robe, slightly ajar, with his majestic naked body fully exposed.
Unveiling every scar she’d fantasized about feeling, running her hands down his chest and to his leaking member- though back to this embarrassing encounter.
Her lips parted, and a gasp escaped before she could contain it, expressing her surprise.
Catching the lustful gaze of her dearest mentor.
"I-I'm sorry," she blurted out before she could stop herself once again.
Before she could allow Rengoku to cover himself fully, she turned around and dashed out of the room. However, she barely made it a few steps before the baggy pajama pants she was provided caused her to trip and fall to the floor, further embarrassing her.
“Ow..” She mewled, rubbing her forehead while sitting in a W position.
Unfortunately, the situation has taken a turn for the worse.
"It seems that we've caught someone trying to sneak a peek into things they shouldn't be."
A harsh voice looming over her sent a shudder down her spine. 
Her breath seized as she saw her dream guy; his formerly spiked-up hair was now unkempt, with bangs falling low and obscuring those fiery eyes that used to stare into her soul, now appeared to be undressing her with his sinful gaze and faint smile he always seems to wear.
Trailing her gaze more down, she saw his robe was still unfastened, exposing his well-built body. Continuing lower down his happy trail, Rengoku appeared to have some dignity by putting on a fundoshi, much to her relief and dismay.
The moment that sliding door closed, Kyojur was at his wit’s end.
He treats his curvy apprentice like the goddess she is, worshiping her mind, body, and soul and never once treating her anything lower than that standard. However, being the man who must train her so she could someday become a Demon Slayer has its moments where he has to be tough and rough with her so that she won't get killed if a scenario were to come.
Much to his dismay, it just happened days ago with that infuriating Demon. He expected much better from her but was caught off guard and almost killed in front of him. If Kyojuro didn't interfere, he was certain his beloved flame would have died.
So when the opportunity came to protect her, he took it, forcing her into house arrest to “Heal.” Even then, he couldn't handle that and went on a mission to distract himself from what had happened.
But even that couldn't help him.
The metaphorical leash he’s tightly held was slowly loosening from his grip.
“You are in serious trouble.” Kyojuro’s hands roughly grabbed her ass, kneading a handful of her cloth skin as he could fester, making her whimper.
“Such a bad girl, my sweet flame.”
“Whatever.” She huffed out, rolling her eyes. “It’s not my fault. I knocked multiple times, but no response.”
Kyojuro was irritated and annoyed by her sassy behavior, and he needed to take a deep breath and not let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him.
She backs away from the tall man, trying to walk away from him, but is stopped by a big, surprisingly warm, rough hand that grabs hold of the back of her neck, bringing her close. She let out a gasp, and then he took full advantage by slamming his lips down on hers.
Her arms instinctively pressed against his nude chest as her heart beat loudly on her own.
“Such lies your speaking.” He mumbles against her, grabbing her hair and pulling her head to the side to give him access to her neck.
As though sensing her need to defend herself, Kyojuro kissed her again, still hungry and desperate but more gentle than before. 
“Admit it, you're a voyeur.” He whispers in her ear with a sly grin.
"What!" She whisper-shouts, her cheeks burning from shock and humiliation.
He shifts his hand from her neck to her waist, drawing her in against him while he pushes them back and toward the bed's edge. This causes her to fall back onto the bed, with one arm supporting her while Kyojuro leans over her.
She looked up at him with those dough eyes and plump lips sinking between her teeth.
That’s it, Kyojuro finally snaps.
Finally, he let go of the subconscious leash, liberating himself from the subconscious restraints.
Bringing himself forward, Kyojuro sat at the edge of his bed and took hold of one of his beautiful flame’s ankles, bringing her close to the edge of the bed to undo her pajama pants and pull them down her legs.
He took a sudden deep breath, feeling his breath catch at the astonishing sight before him.
“You’ve been naughty, my sweet blaze.” Kyojuro guided her to stand before him, resting his hands on her waist to keep her still. She rested her hands on his shoulders while staring in a longing gaze.
“I think you need a punishment.”
His hand firmly comes down against the curve of her ass, and she gasps at the contact—a slap ringing through the room.
“One!”
He smirked at her reaction, seemingly satisfied at the dark handprint quickly revealing on her skin.
“Keep count for me, k?” He softly caressed her ass with his other hand while grinning and repositioning the one that was holding her hands behind her back.
Before she could say a sentence, his free hand roughly met her ass again. The full force of his strength struck her left ass cheek more aggressively than she anticipated leaving her crying out.
“Two!”
Another slap landed on her other cheek, slightly lighter than the first two but still hard enough to take her breath away and anticipate more.
“T-Three.” She hesitated for a moment, nearly losing track of the count, but she quickly regained composure before her devoted master could take further action.
Another slap landed on her ass.
Then another.
And another.
There was a brief pause, Kyojuro letting go of her restrained hand while also allowing the throbbing soft flesh of her ass to have a break from its punishment. Rubbing a hand over the darker shade he had left, feeling the warmth it brought and much more.
“What’s this?”
Seeming to notice between her spread buttocks was a damp patch on the front of her panties. Dawning on him that his curvy beauty was getting off on this.
“You like this?” He murmurs under his breath.
Curiously, Kyojuro slips her panties halfway down her legs, caught between her lower thighs, his thick, calloused fingers spreading her folds. It's sinful how hot her wet heat is; squelching noises filled the room. “Should’ve known you'd be like this since you're a voyeur.” He chuckles to himself.
Shudders of embarrassment ran through her body. She squirmed on Kyojuro's lap and buried her flushed face in the mattress, muffling her whimpers and soft moans.
“K-Kyo…”
Yet he was stronger than her, keeping her in place as he slapped her cunt. Making her arch her back as she cries out.
His fingers bully their way inside her, and Kyojuro chuckles, feeling how her gummy walls immediately tighten around him.
Leaning down to face his sweet, precious flame, he whispered in her ear, “Looking for something bigger? Hmph~ You’ll take what I give you, whore.”
She tilted her head to the side, looking at his radiant gaze. Lust could be seen through his lidded gazes.
Scissoring her warm heat, her juice splashed with every deep thrust dripping down her thighs and to the ground.
“Ooooo~” Her mouth formed an "O" as tears welled in the corners of her eyes. Her legs trembled while she pitifully tried to hump his fingers. 
“Gonna cum?” He hummed against her.
“Ugh, yessss…”
At the edge of her orgasm, about to cum so beautifully around his thick fingers, which were speeding up and sloppily beating her g spot, Kyojuro pulled his fingers out and rubbed her lower lips before he slapped her throbbing clit for good measure. Standing up and off the bed, he removed himself from his sweet, curvy beauty, quickly wanting to get rid of his undergarments.
Revealing his once again long and hard cock, springing free and in his hand, moved down to give himself much-needed friction pulling on the heaving rod.
She whines, throwing a tantrum under his gaze.
“How dare you! This is so not fair!” She pants out. Pouting at the sight of her master stroking himself in front of her, making her feel ever so desperate and needy, her warm heat once again feeling tingly and in want to finally cum.
That her right hand slowly started to make its way down to her throbbing clit, but the Flame Hashira was fast enough to grab her once again ankle and bring them upward, sliding her legs apart, keeping a firm hold on her parted thighs, and he brought his body forward and between her legs.
His sharp stare kept her in a trance.
“Don't you dare touch yourself unless I tell you to,” He growled lowly and demanded as she gasped from the sudden sensation of the tip of his member probing at her slick entrance.
She bit her lip to keep herself from moving her hips, shuddering at the restrained.
“Do I make myself clear?” He fixed his gaze, concentrating intensely on the sweet flame in his hands.
She quickly nodded her head. At this point, she couldn't go against him as much as she wanted to fight against him. She was willing to go along with whatever he wanted just to feel her sweet release.
But against her better judgment, her hips disobeyed her and moved against her will. Moving against him, his tip slid along her slick folds. One of his hands quickly went down to her doughy hip, pinning it down as he furrowed his eyebrows, his mouth hanging slightly as he inhaled sharply.
“You’re so despicable. Such a needy little slut that can't stop herself. Just want me to lay everything down and just slam my dick inside you, huh? Have your juice all over me, hmmm?” 
It was only for a moment, just a moment, that he allowed himself the pleasure of his tip dragging along her throbbing bud as he spoke those sinful words to her as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.
Though only for a moment.
“But you don't deserve that. This is a punishment, after all.” That set her off, whimpering for him to continue, edging him on to continue dragging his length along her, but she was stopped by the tightly held hand on her soft hip.
Rengoku quickly yet dreadfully pulls himself off her before going down on his knees, bringing her lower half to hang off the bed and onto his shoulder and his hot breath hitting her core.
Suddenly, sniffing noises emerged from the room, shyly having the curvy beauty cover her face in embarrassment.
“You smell sweet~,” He says before placing a hand on the top of her lower stomach and the other spreading her lower fold, allowing him to kiss her pussy, causing her to whine.
“No…” She timidly sought to encourage him to move away from her lower half, reaching for his shoulder in an effort to pull him away, but he remained stubborn.
Licking her pussy and sucking on her folds, causing her to cry out and squirm under his grasp. Instantly bring her thighs together to ease the bliss she was feeling.
"Nah-huh" He fumbles to speak, too preoccupied with covering her cunt and repeatedly creating the number eight on her delicate clit, all the while firmly placing a hand over her thigh to keep them apart.
The feeling of his warm breath hitting her core and his tongue making swirls around her clit before slipping past her slick fold was a feeling she had never felt before, making her hands move to his hair, holding onto the spiky strands for her dear life.
That was his cue to nip at her delicate fold, for always trying to break him apart from his feast, causing her to let out another lewd moan.
Each touch has her gasping and her inside clenching around nothing as her legs begin to shake from the sweet torment. His strong hands on her body felt as if she was on fire as she tried to grind down against his lips, but his grip only tightened around her doughy thighs, sinking deeper into the soft flesh, and her sweet moans only seemed to grow loud at the sight of his biceps flexing.
Instinctively bringing a hand behind her to clutch onto the sheet as continuous kitten licks and sudden sloppy kisses on her pussy sent her feeling once again her sweet edge as the knot formed in her stomach and her back began to arch, catching Rengoku’s fiery stare.
While all this was happening, not once did he allow himself the pleasure of touching himself. legs knees under him with his thighs spread wide, visibly showing his weeping hard-on.
The throbbing flesh was hot to the touch, ready and dripping with pre as it twitched with every thrilling pretest and moan she dared muster in an attempt to run away from him.
He waited for the right time. The right moment to finally give the heaving rod a few strokes right as she was about to cum, wanting them both to climax at the same time. 
He smears his pre around the head, encouraging him to continue around the length and down to the base.
Kyojuro slowly stroked himself, following the same rhythm he had set with his greedy mouth. Imagining his cock being the actual one doing these things. His stroke became pumps, sweeping his thumb over the tip, swallowing her with his heated eyes as she watched him intently, barely blinking.
Groans escaped his already parted lips, deep and clear rumbling through her lower half. 
He was on the verge of his release as he squeezed his tip. He could feel her shuddering on his shoulder, and he used it as a sign to pick up on his rhythm for both him and her.
“I’m gonna, I’m gonna…” In a moment of desperation, she lets out a weak cry, her eyes half-closed and rolling back as she runs her fingers through his hair. In her agitation, she tugs at his hair as she reaches her breaking point.
Milliseconds before Kyojuro moaned out loud.
He shot ropes of hot cum onto the ground, momentarily closing his eyes and losing himself devouring the sweetest juice he ever tasted.
Finally, after minutes had passed, the pounding in her head made her hyper-aware of his breathing, so shallow and deeper than she ever heard it.
Pulling away and resting her lovingly on the bed, Kyojuro stood from the ground. Pins and needles ran through his legs, yet he didn't seem to care. Finally allowing himself to open his eyes, he stared at the beautiful beauty he towered over, pupils dilated and plump lips enticing, all spread out on the bed with only her pajama shirt on.
He was the first to move before she could lean up to kiss him. Crawling into bed and hovering over her with his arms supporting his weight on either side of her head, he leaned down and kissed her.
His captivating kiss carried the familiar taste of her, drawing her close to him by the neck, molding her into putty in his hands.
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divine-crows · 3 months ago
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🎨✨️Art Magic✨️🎨
Uses, Forms of it, and Why I Think Everyone Should Try it at Least Once.
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Foreword
Right before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I had been trying and failing to rekindle my flame for magic work. No matter what I tried to do I just couldn't get back into my studies and I was reaching a point where I was convinced I lost my spark and was doomed to live an empty life. Then it all changed when a YouTube Channel challenged how I thought about everything: Molly Roberts. That's when I was opened to the possibility of art magic, and I'll now share my love of it with anyone willing to read on.
What Is Art Magic?
A means to utilize art for spellwork, raising magical energy, or for exploring your magical subconscious. It encapsulates multiple different types of art and is generally not confined by conventional expectation (unless that's what you prefer).
You can utilize art magic by. . .
Using traditional art methods
Digital art methods
Collages
Music composition
Jewelry making
Embroidery
And much more!
How do I know if Art Magic is Suitable for Me?
There isn't a specific thing that'll indicate this form of magic is perfect for you, however I have some anecdotes from my personal experience as both a witch, and a regular artist that form a sort of idea on what could denote this being perfect for you!
First off, craving freedom from personal restraints was a big factor that pushed me towards blending my craft with my passion for art. If you want to run from the monotony of life, if you feel trapped by the social construction of boxes, or if you simply want to challenge your own mental restraints... then this idea might resonate with you.
Challenging yourself with a new form of magic, similarly, can also be a good enough reason to try. I'm the type of person who loves to constantly learn new things and I unfortunately get bored really quickly if I can't get new source materials. Using Art Magic has proven a fun challenge for me that allows me to explore a lot more topics you can't just open a book to find.
For those that may not be able to safely perform a lot of traditional style spells, this form of magic provides a discreet way to practice witchcraft. Most people wouldn't really question someone if they picked up the hobby of making art, and even if they did there's plenty of reasonable excuses out there.
How you prefer your spells to manifest themselves can also affect if this journey is a good idea or not. I find that Art Magic is really good when it comes to subtle spellwork that is more longform (though depending on how you construct them you can definitely create a spell that's the opposite).
Catalog aspects of your magical journey. Imagine a grimoire filled with pages of drawings, each one telling a story of something you experienced or learned as a witch. This especially may be more beneficial for visual learners.
You could use it as a means of meditation, sometimes art can be calming and it can open the door to your mind (so-to-speak). Especially if you're like me and struggle with staying completely still while trying to clear your mind, this may be helpful for you.
Trying to better understand archetypes, deities, types of entities, or even your own self can also be a big part of this. I've used art magic as a way to embody the "energy" of something before so I could better understand it. Especially when you're trying to seek knowledge that isn't often written on, it can provide a great way to explore more.
How Can I perform an Art Spell?
I have a step-by-step process that can give you some insight on how you may approach it:
1) Think of the intention you want. I like to close my eyes and meditate on it for about a minute then I write down if my mind wandered to any specific imagery or ideas.
2) Think of visual symbolism and colors that can help you capture the mood you want. Perhaps you need a warm color palette to invoke positive feelings, or maybe there are specific objects or animals you can include on the composition that represent something.
3) If you feel it fits your composition, you can include sigils, symbols of significance, and include shapes that have certain associations. It doesn't even have to be obvious either. You can use a circular composition to convey something endless for example, or a triangular composition to show priority over something.
4) In general follow what your heart tells you. This is a little cliche, but ultimately follow what seems best to you. Art isn't about boxing yourself in and my guidelines are just general ideas for anyone who's lost!
Why do I think that everyone should try it at least once?
From my experiences as a witch, I find that a lot of paths to be followed are quite rigid. By no means am I implying that a rigid structure is bad-- it creates a foundation from which we can work upon. I myself am exploring rigid, 'traditional' (for lack of a better term) ways of working magic. Art magic pushes you out of your comfort zone in a safe way. It makes you consider how you associate things. It makes you create new sigils and makes you research new symbols you previously wouldn't have used.
So next time you're lost on a spell, or you've lost your way in your Craft and you don't know what to do, think about maybe giving Art Magic a try. I hope my guide was a helpful starting point for anyone interested in the topic!
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Hi! Could I request full HCs for MC getting in trouble/arrested for something they didn't do, but nobody believes them? Eventually they're proven innocent but maybe even the M6 might have a little flicker of doubt for a moment?
The Arcana HCs: MC gets falsely arrested
Julian
If you've ever worried that he can't relate to you in the past, he certainly can now! He's been in handcuffs plenty of times -
On a more serious note, he's not giving up on you for a second. Every moment that he's allowed to be by your side, he's there, and he's taking the best care of you that he possibly can
He doesn't doubt you for a second (he remembers what it was like) but he does doubt himself
What if this is secretly his fault? What if he did something he doesn't remember doing, and you got mistaken for him? What if he made someone angry so they framed you to get back at him?
Will suggest lying to take your place multiple times and might actually try it if you and Portia don't stop him
Might also suggest actually committing some kind of legal infraction of his own so he can at least join you in there
So relieved when you're acquitted that it's all he can talk about to everyone he meets for the next two months. Rubs it in the face of every friend who ever doubted you
Asra
They're annoyed, more than anything. And shocked. But mostly annoyed
Not at you, of course! No, he's annoyed at the fact that you're being confined somewhere that he can't be for you and that you're being treated so poorly
When you tell them the charges against you aren't true, they believe you completely, but truthfully they're less concerned with your innocence and more concerned with your wellbeing
Can and will attempt to break you out regardless
Would much rather blip you out of where you're being held and start a completely new life from scratch somewhere else then let the process drag on and on, watching you be silenced and doubted
Never misses a single visit
Never lets you feel like things are out of control. As long as you want to subject yourself to this, it's your decision, and as soon as you choose otherwise, say the word and you're both out
Immeasurably proud of you when you stick it out and are acquitted
Nadia
Furious. Absolutely furious. Seething with rage
A person of your character? Who holds the trust of the Countess herself and the admiration of the city?? Accused so recklessly???
Absolutely unacceptable
That said, she remains completely calm on the outside and allows things to proceed. She's been a fierce advocate of establishing a new, effective justice system, and she intends to see this through
Does her best not to extend her influence far enough to count as making the process unfair, but still ensures she gets to visit you at least once a day
There is a point as the evidence is assembled that she does find herself wondering, for a brief moment, if you really are guilty. If you forgot, if there were extenuating circumstances you can't tell her
And she hates herself for it as soon as she sees your face again
So smug when you're exonerated that the people who argued against you nearly make a run for the hills
Will make a point of publicly proclaiming your innocence after
Muriel
Triggered. Triggered. So. Very. Triggered
Hadn't heard anything about the incident itself until you were arrested, so he didn't know what to think until you told him you were innocent. Once you did, though, he believed you
He knows when someone's lying and when someone's telling the truth, and he needs to make sure that others can see your honesty
He also knows that he's not the person best suited to publicly helping you. Regardless of his circumstances, he has his own history in the cells that still make his stomach turn to walk past
He'll talk to Asra. He'll talk to Nadia. He'll put himself through hours of conversation with them and whoever else is determined to exonerate you, supplying every detail he has
And he'll brave the personal hell of seeing you live out the daily misery of his worst memories, behind the same bars, staring at the same stone walls, to be with you as the hours drag by
Beyond relieved when you (and he by extension) are freed and he can hide away in the woods with you to recover
Portia
She actually assumed the charges were true until you told her otherwise - you're her partner in crime for life, she's just wondering what pieces are missing to justify you and why she wasn't included
Until you tell her you're innocent, and she's furious
There is NO WAY you're getting falsely imprisoned on her watch. She will march to hell and back and drag whoever she needs to with her to get you out
Pushes nonstop both to have you acquitted and to sway public opinion about you. It feels like a hopeless task at first, but she doesn't give up and she has enough friends to pull it off
Might miss a visit or two, but never goes longer than a day without stopping to see you and always smuggles treats and comforts past the guards for you no matter how often you tell her not to
Actually manages to stage an impressive protest in your favor the day the decision is made
Takes you home and dotes on you nonstop afterwards ... and then victory marches you all around town to thank the helpful friends
Lucio
He tries to help you. He really, really does
He argues with the guards, screams at the people who sent for you to be arrested, and makes the racket of a lifetime
Which, unfortunately, only makes things worse
(Neither does him admitting to all of his own criminal history, in his attempt to argue that if he got forgiveness then you should too)
He's relieved when you tell him you didn't do it, and he clings to that belief like his life depends on it. You're the good thing in his life. Nobody takes away or denies him that good thing
All that pent up frustration needs an outlet of some kind, and that results in him hounding the assigned investigators instead into letting him help them
And help them he does - not with the books and papers, but with long nights and rabbit trails until the true culprit is found
One can imagine how proud he was to drag them by the collar to where you were, shaking the confession out of them and leaving with you. He deserves so many kisses and cookies for this -
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ghoulsbounty · 7 months ago
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OMG IM SO EXCITED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO’LL WRITE BOYD CROWDER.
Can I request some fluff about going to sleep with Boyd (like actually sleeping lol), like him and the reader have a fun and flirty relationship and she knows about his criminal enterprises (S4 vibes with the pocket watch UGH). Maybe he comes home late or something and is just all over the reader but not in a sexual way, just like a missing and wanting to be close to her way.
Out Of Time
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Boyd Crowder x GN!Reader
Warnings: slight spoilers for season 4, a little angst if you squint but just pure comfort and fluff (Boyd is in love)
Word Count: 2K
A/N: Anon, thank you for my first Boyd request and simultaneously igniting a burning passion within me to write more for this man. I kept the reader GN because there wasn't really any need for gender descriptors, and yes I did make that gif just for this fic 🫡 I’d love to know what you all think to this, and feel free to send me more requests 💌
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Boyd sat silently on the edge of the bed, his gaze lingering on your tranquil, sleeping form. The mattress creaked softly under his weight, causing your steady breathing to hitch momentarily before settling back into a gentle rhythm. He brushed his fingers across your cheek, a surge of longing filling his heart. He had missed you. Those brief moments in the mornings, stolen before you left for work or he had to attend to his business, were never enough. Yet, he cherished every fleeting second, treasuring these quiet moments when he could simply watch over you.
He knew you held no resentment towards him, not even when he returned home later than promised, body weary and mind burdened by his actions, like tonight, and countless other nights. He understood that you wouldn't pry, wouldn't demand every detail of his whereabouts, because that wasn't your way, and for that, he was deeply grateful. It meant you could stay just a little bit safer. You never asked for more than he could offer, only requesting that he come back to you when he could, to reassure you of his presence, to let you know he was still breathing.
Of course, he would. He'd move heaven and earth, and blow the top off that damn mountain just to fulfil his promise to you. No matter the challenges, he would find his way back to you, and you'd greet him with open arms, washing away his sins and soothing his wounds with tender kisses. You'd offer him everything a man like him could ever desire, and he knew deep down he never deserved it.
He didn't allow himself to linger on the thought of not being worthy of you. You'd never insinuated it, not even during the fiercest arguments. You never stooped to using his vulnerabilities against him. It was evident to all that Boyd's Achilles' heel was you, yet you always made him feel invincible, as though he could stand against any adversary in Harlan County. And there were many, especially with the Oxy trade dwindling with the arrival of the new preacher and the drastic measures Boyd had to employ to protect not just his business, but your shared future together.
You often credited Boyd with rescuing you from a life confined to cleaning tables in seedy bars, but the truth was far deeper: you had saved him. Boyd harboured no illusions about his criminal past; he knew the trajectory it set for his future. Yet, it was you who prevented him from plunging too deeply into the shadows of his upbringing. The thought of returning home to you, regardless of the hour, was the sole beacon that guided him through the gruelling days of battling for control over Harlan County. He fought not just for the people or for himself, but for you, and for the possibility of a family you might one day bless him with —that was what made every struggle worthwhile.
You stirred beneath his touch, your lashes fluttering as your eyes slowly opened, bleary and seeking. A smile graced your lips as you spotted him, reaching out to rest your hand on his thigh, as if confirming he was really there.
"Was wondering when I'd see you," you murmured, your voice husky with sleep. Leaning in, he pressed a tender kiss to the tip of your nose.
"Time ran away from me," he confessed, his gaze soft as he regarded you. "I'm sorry, darlin'."
You studied him for a moment, the urge to inquire further tugging at your thoughts before you decided to let it go. "Time can be a tricky thing."
Allowing him to guide you up, you melted into his embrace as he held you close. His gentle fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, smoothing the fabric of his shirt that you wore to bed each night under his touch.
"I left dinner for you in the fridge," you reminded him, pulling back slightly to meet his eyes. "I'll join you."
He shook his head, drawing you back into his arms. "Not hungry," he murmured, planting a soft kiss on your neck. "Didn't mean to wake you."
"Well, you failed miserably," you teased, a playful chuckle escaping your lips as he shook you in his hold around your waist. You could feel his smile against your skin. "How could I sleep with you hovering over me like a ghost?"
He chuckled, releasing you and gently nudging your shoulder. You settled back against the pillows, observing him as he rose from the bed.
"You'd scold me if I didn't kiss you goodnight," he remarked, a fond smile on his lips as he removed his pocket watch and set it on the bedside table. He held your gaze as he began to unbutton his waistcoat. "You ask every morning."
You hummed in agreement, running your thumb over the smooth surface of the brass watch. In the early days, you had made it a habit to stay awake during Boyd's late nights, eager to be alert in case his dealings took a dangerous turn and he needed to be patched up. It had occurred a few times, though not recently. Boyd Crowder was the sharpest mind in Harlan—few managed to outsmart him.
Your new job had demanded more from you, and though you had offered to resign, Boyd had insisted that one of you must earn through legitimate means. He had encouraged you to attend training school, funded the evening studies through unconventional channels and sang about how this new role was going to be a step in cementing the future you'd both dreamed of. Nevertheless, it had taken a toll on you, and you found yourself less vigilant than you were before, despite the anxiety that had kept you alert during those initial months, worrying about his safety. 
He didn't mind, of course. He reassured you that he was simply grateful to return home to you, for the comfort and warmth you provided him, and for the graciousness with which you welcomed his associates, despite your reluctance for your home to serve as a meeting place during desperate times. He never made you feel inadequate, even when he was out risking his life to carve out a brighter future for both of you.
You had both settled into a familiar routine, one that left you both yearning for more but ultimately grateful when the day ended and you found solace in each other's embrace.
As the covers shifted, a chill swept over you, but Boyd swiftly slid beneath them, now dressed only in his underwear, and nestled closer to you. He gently retrieved the pocket watch from your hand, leaning over to place it back on the table, before wrapping his arm around your waist. You lay on your back, gazing up at the ceiling, your fingers tangling in his thick hair as he nestled against your chest, finding comfort in your embrace.
A myriad of thoughts raced through your mind, a multitude of questions that remained unspoken as you focused on the steady rhythm of your shared breaths. Sometimes, you felt the urge to uncover everything, to strip away all secrecy and confront the raw reality of what Boyd endured each day. Yet, you quickly reminded yourself—that wasn't your place. Your role was to support him while maintaining a certain level of ignorance. It was crucial, Boyd had insisted, in case you were ever questioned about him. Which you were, often, if not by nosy neighbours from the holler then by your lawman colleagues. You had been prepared for every instance though, it was Boyd who had thrown you into the belly of the beast after all. 
You loved Boyd deeply, trusting him with your life because you understood it was the thing he valued most. If he required you to play a part, then that's what you would do. You'd remain silent, tend to his wounds, and hold him close, serving as the anchor he needed to prevent him from drifting too far out to sea.
His lips traced a tantalizing path over your collar bone, up your neck, and across your chin until they met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. A contented sigh escaped you as you melted into him, his hand exploring the contours of your body, caressing your side, gliding over your stomach, and tracing down your thigh. He grasped, stroked, and savoured every inch of you, his tongue intertwining with yours in a passionate dance.
Your hand slipped from his hair, instead cupping one cheek as the other tenderly stroked his jaw, rough with the stubble that grazed your thumb. He moaned against your lips, a sound laden with desire and need, but reluctantly pulled away, pressing one final kiss against the corner of your mouth before meeting your gaze with weary eyes.
"How long do I have you for?" he inquired, his voice heavy with longing, and you glanced over to the clock beside the bed. The red digits stared back at you, marking the finite moments of your togetherness as you let out a resigned sigh.
"Four hours," you replied, meeting his gaze once more. He nodded, a solemn smile touching his lips as he sank back onto the mattress. Extending his arm, he invited you to snuggle against his chest, and you accepted, finding solace in the warmth.
"What if you didn't go?" he murmured, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty, his fingers tracing soothing circles on the top of your arm. You chuckled softly, tightening your embrace around him as the notion settled into your mind.
"I'm not sure the Harlan County Sheriff's Department would appreciate their employees playing hooky," you replied with a teasing grin. "Even if it's just a lowly trainee like me."
"Oh, I'm sure Mr. Parlow could manage without you for one day," he replied with a playful smile, then his expression turned mischievous as he looked down at you. "Perhaps I could persuade him, given our history."
You shook your head, a glint of amusement dancing in your eyes. Boyd always teased about using his influence to manipulate your work schedule—leaving early, extending your lunch break—but you were adamant about keeping your relationship with him separate from your professional life, regardless of his hand in it. You knew he could pull strings if you asked, but it was important to maintain a sense of independence.
"You did mention we needed to keep Shelby on our side," you reminded him with a playful smile. "I'm pretty sure that's how I ended up agreeing to those early shifts in the first place."
He chuckled softly and leaned in to press another kiss to your nose. "You've got me there, darlin'," he admitted, his voice tinged with affection. "Just wish I had more time with you, is all," he whispered, his thumb gently tracing along your lip before stroking down your chin.
You bit your lip, weighing the possibilities and outcomes in your mind as you gazed up at him. "Perhaps just the morning wouldn't hurt. I'll bring them coffee to make it up—do you think that'll help? Maybe Shelby won't be too upset," you proposed, searching his eyes for reassurance. His gaze softened, a bright grin spreading across his face.
"Oh, baby, I don't think anybody could stay mad at you," he declared in wonderment, and you couldn't help but chuckle. He wasn't merely being sweet—being Boyd Crowder's partner came with its perks as well as its drawbacks, one being that those who didn't want to cross him tended to steer clear of you. It seemed that extended to the Sheriff's department as well.
"I'll call in the morning," you decided, determination firm in your voice.
You rested your head back against his chest, snuggling closer into him as his arms enveloped you, his chin resting atop your head as he spoke softly. "I do believe this'll be the best sleep I've had in a while."
You smiled contentedly against him, feeling the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. Closing your eyes, you surrendered to the embrace of sleep, your dreams filled with the promise of the morning ahead, shared with Boyd, where every moment, no matter how seemingly ordinary, was something to look forward to.
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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 1 year ago
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The Great Below
Pairing: Ettore (High Life) x f!reader Warnings: DEAD DOVE; DO NOT EAT. Violence, dub/non-con, oral sex (f receiving and allusions to m receiving), smut, dark themes. Word count: ~1.7k
Summary: When the ship lands temporarily on a habitable planet, she is relieved to have a taste of freedom. For Ettore, it's an opportunity for him to make his move without prying eyes to observe.
Author's note: Day nine of the Smuffmas prompts - "swimming and face fucking". No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.
It had never been part of the plan to land on a yet undiscovered planet, and despite Dr. Dibs’ protestations captain of the ship, Chandra, had insisted it was worth the risk. The ship needed repairs, ones that couldn’t be performed while in flight - they would lose lives, and the ship would remain damaged if they were to attempt it. This is their best shot at survival.
There are mixed feelings among the crew regarding wanting to explore. Some don’t want to take their chances in an environment that could potentially be hostile, where the air may not be breathable, if there’s air at all. Others are eager to escape the close confines of the ship, it has become as much a prison to them as the bars they found themselves stuck behind on earth.
Monte is the first to venture out. He volunteers, claiming he is disposable, and if he returns safely it will be an indication that they can step out to complete the repairs without any detrimental effects to their health, and gather resources if there are any available. His first expedition sees him clad in one of the onboard beige and blue spacesuits, and when he returns there is no apparent damage to it. He reveals the planet is much like earth, it has a gravitational force, and a rich, clay-like substance makes up its surface, there is even water, vast expanses of it.
When he ventures out a second time, he dares to remove the helmet of the suit and excitedly informs the crew that he is able to breathe. He’s monitored for twenty-four hours afterwards, and having shown no signs of illness, the rest of the crew are granted permission to explore if they wish.
She is among the first to take up this offer. It seems irresponsible to allow a ship full of convicts the freedom to roam, however, there is the sad realisation that they aren’t really free. Where could they possibly run to? If they don’t return to the ship then they will face certain death without shelter, food or safe drinking water.
Despite this, she is grateful to feel the texture of earth beneath her feet once more as she steps out. She has refused the use of a suit, wishing to feel natural air upon her skin, and when she is far enough away, she removes her shoes and socks, grinning as she wiggles her toes in the softness of the soil. She had almost forgotten what this feels like.
She rolls her eyes when she catches sight of him in her peripheral vision. Ettore. He lopes down the ramp after her, moving slowly, purposefully. He isn’t wearing a suit either. 
She has managed to avoid him so far on board. He sends shivers down her spine with how he behaves. The intensity of his stare makes her feel as though she could be crushed beneath the weight of it, and it always seems to be directed at her.
It is likely the result of being trapped on the ship, it’s enough to test the limits of anyone’s sanity, and everyone’s frustrations manifest themselves in differing ways. However, no one else’s expression of displeasure makes her as uneasy as his. Were it not for his frequent use of the Box, she is certain he’d have attacked someone by now, probably her.
She hopes that a fleeting taste of freedom, and the opportunity to explore a new environment will be enough to distract his focus from her, and other crew members have begun to make their way out now too. There is safety in numbers, so she does her best to ignore Ettore’s presence, picking up her shoes and venturing forward.
Eventually she reaches the bank of a large body of water, similar in size and shape to lakes back on Earth. She stares at it hesitantly. Monte hadn’t drunk from or swam in the water he’d found here, so she has no idea of the harm that this could potentially do to her, it seems foolish to waste the opportunity though.
Tentatively she dips in her toe. The surface ripples around it, the sudden coldness causing her to gasp. However, beyond a slight chill there don’t appear to be any immediate negative effects. It has been so long since she swam, or lost herself in the sensation of being immersed fully in water - the showers aboard the ship just aren’t the same.
Fuck it, if I’m going to die, better to go happy and doing something that brings me joy, than stuck aboard that floating prison cell.
She tugs off her scrubs, dumping them in a pile on top of her shoes at the edge, and steps in. Her skin prickles into gooseflesh at the coldness, and the water gets deeper as she slowly moves forward, the surface rising against her body as her feet move up onto their arches as the riverbed becomes more difficult to stand on, until she is no longer able to touch the bottom at all.
Treading water, she smiles to herself.
Deep enough to swim.
She pushes outwards, stretching her limbs out, as each rotation of her arms propels her body through the water. For a moment there is no ship, no death sentence, nothing; just the cooling breach of her arms and legs against the lake’s surface, her mind quieter than it's ever been.
When she reaches the middle, she rolls onto her back, allowing herself to float, arms spread out either side of her, with her legs parted, staring up at the sky.
It’s only when she sees the murky greyness of the atmosphere of the solar system above her that she is reminded she’s not on earth, she’s not free, and she is hit by the hopelessness of it all. It makes her stomach sink.
No use in pretending, I’ve been served a death sentence.
The novelty of her swim loses its charm, and she paddles her way back towards where she had discarded her clothes, her heart lurching when she sees Ettore standing there, watching her unblinkingly.
She climbs out, and he doesn’t back away, he would force her back into the water if he were to step forward. She shivers, acutely aware of how her nipples pebble against the soaked fabric of the ship’s standard issue cotton bra, chilled by the cool of the air against the dampness of her skin.
Protectively she wraps her arms around her chest, drawing in a shaky breath as her eyes flit nervously between him and her clothes by his feet.
“Going for a swim?” She tries to ask casually, hoping a sense of normality will help to diffuse the situation, whatever that situation is.
His gaze drags downwards, from her head to her feet, before travelling back up again, and for a moment she thinks he means to ignore her.
“No,” he says eventually, a dangerous glint in his eye. “Just watching.”
She scoffs in disgust, stooping to grab her clothes and pushes past him, eager to be away from him as quickly as possible.
“Not so fast, you little cocktease,” he tells her, grabbing her arm to stop her.
Before she has time to think about it, she allows the explosiveness of her anger to guide her actions, dropping her clothes and swinging her fist towards his face. It makes harsh contact with a dull thump and he lets go of her, staggering backwards.
She stays rooted to the spot, chest heaving and eyes wide as she watches Ettore’s hand lift to his mouth, wiping away the thin trickle of blood from his split lip.
Cold terror swirls in her chest, as his eyes lift to meet hers, filled with malevolence.
“You fucking bitch, I’ll make you regret that.”
Faster than her legs can carry her away, he’s tackling her to the ground, knocking the wind from her as her back makes hard impact with the soft earth.
“Ettore, stop!” She screams, attempting to kick him away as his large hands grasp at the waistband of her wet underwear, dragging it down her legs.
He is stronger than her, bigger than her and he easily keeps her in place, the force with which his fingers indent into the flesh of her thighs as he wrenches them apart will surely leave bruises behind.
She lays back, breathing ragged, closing her eyes and resigning herself to her fate. Better to let him do what he wants and wait for him to be finished, than attempt to fight back and make it worse.
Her eyes snap back open when she feels the swipe of his tongue against her folds, her breath catching in her throat he licks sloppily at her, before he moves upwards to suck harshly at her bud.
An involuntary moan escapes her, shocking her almost as much as the fact that she’s enjoying this. He has taken her by force, but she reluctantly admits to herself that it feels good to be touched in this way after so long without it. The Box could never compare to the shockwaves of pleasure that Ettore sends rippling through her.
Her fingers snake their way into his short hair, pulling hard enough to make him groan against her cunt, the reverberation making her throb, and she grinds herself wantonly against his face. She pushes hard against him, rocking her hips as he laves at her, guiding his movements with the grip she has on his hair. Every upwards buck of her pelvis causes his nose to swipe against her sensitive bundle of nerves, making her clench around nothing.
He grips her thighs harder, tugging her against him and she pushes back with equal force, fucking herself against his face, pushing herself towards the apex of her pleasure.
She comes hard, her body trembling with the force of it as her walls contract almost painfully with the intensity of her orgasm, and she emits a choked cry, feeling boneless as she pants and collapses backwards.
Not giving her any time to recover, Ettore pulls himself back to his feet, grabbing her by her hair and forcing her to her knees. She looks up at him through dazed and pleasure drunk eyes. His mouth is bloody and shiny, a twisted combination of his blood and her arousal. The blue of his eyes is eclipsed almost entirely by the dilation of his pupils, as he frees his hard cock, tapping it against her lips.
“My turn.”
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televised-uhhh-nerdistry · 8 months ago
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currently thinking about how ages ago my friend sent me a long-ass explanation about why saltburn is an adaptation of the myth involving theseus, the minotaur, and the labyrinth.
nobody asked but here’s some of the fun proof that exists of this:
first and foremost, icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun. during the party scene, it is evident that felix symbolises this poor ill-fated youth, and the symbolism here is potent. he flew too close to finding out what oliver truly is. he discovered something he shouldn’t have, and dressing him up in icarus cosplay is the perfect showcase for his fate and his mistakes. it’s also brilliant in terms of what icarus actually did to “deserve” death. realistically, he was told not to go too high or too low, but in actuality, such cryptic instructions were difficult to follow mid-flight, and it resulted in catastrophe. felix is trying to navigate the responsibilities of being a good friend with his baggage as someone in a family of rich pricks. it’s hard, and in flying too far away from his background, he “flew too close to the sun” and discovered things he shouldn’t have. as a small nod to further the icarus imagery, felix’s body is discovered under bright and direct sunlight as he lays motionless in his winged costume.
secondly, saltburn is in the center of a labyrinth. the labyrinth lore runs deep in this movie, because not only does the labyrinth function as symbolism, it has lore that runs adjacent to the lore of the actual labyrinth. in theseus and the minotaur, the labyrinth is a construct of greek architect and inventor daedalus, who was conscripted by king minos to create the maze. in saltburn, the labyrinth is constructed upon special request from james catton, the owner of the estate, and a very wealthy man (almost like a modern day king).
the labyrinth (in the original myth) is dangerous to all characters that reside within it. it keeps all in within a chance for escape, and those that get close die tragically. in saltburn, the labyrinth functions as an ode to the ways in which riches and fame poison those that reside in the walls, keeping them locked within its dangerous talons, or in this case, cleanly trimmed hedges. it’s suburbia on a larger and more internal scale. even those that do not have riches themselves, namely farleigh and annabel, do everything they can to remain on the estate and in the good graces of those on the property with immense money. it affects how they act and how they are expected to act. farleigh, as a good example, is very stuck on the particulars of rich people’s behaviour. as mentioned above, those that try to leave the maze die tragically, and icarus is a prime example. felix, in his attempt to be better than the riches of the estate socially allow, flies too close to a possible escape from the confines of the labyrinth and is murdered as a result.
in the story of the labyrinth, it is unsolvable, unless you are clever and quick witted (manipulative), which theseus luckily is. the same is true for oliver. oliver, like theseus, gets into the heads of multiple characters, manipulating his way to the top of the food chain. the scene where oliver views the wooden counterprt of the maze through the head office in the estate, he is told that he shouldn’t be there, and a sense of ominous foreboding takes place. we feel that he has seen something that will change him. however, i believe this is simply symbolism for the fact that oliver has figured out the secret to the maze: a secret that he, an outsider and a poorer, less sociable man should not be aware of, as he is a representation of theseus, a character who has no right being king.
thirdly, oliver is juxtaposed with imagery if the minotaur during the party scene, and though this costume doubles as a reference to the changeling in a midsummer night’s dream, it is still highly important. in the original myth, people are sacrificed to the minotaur on a yearly basis. at first, felix fits the profile for the minotaur: a rich, wealthy man in a labyrinth who is regularly described as going through friends the way a young boy would go through toys. it is also true that the minotaur has often been seen as a controversial figure, one that begs the question “is a monster just a tormented creature fated to behave according to the will of the gods?”. felix’s behaviour, or namely, his attempted deviancy from the behaviour he is expected to show, is a major prt of his character arch. we expect oliver to be the victim of felix’s behaviour exactly because of this. but he isn’t. an easy explanation is that oliver is the minotaur, going through the family members as though they were victims in a maze. however, oliver is NOT the minotaur, as the myth is a lot more complex than the minotaur being the bad guy. despite what we expect, director emily fennel is leaning into the concept that the minotaur’s storyline is that of fate versus free will. the minotaur is cursed by the gods to fall into certain patterns and to be punished for its behaviour, despite it doing exactly what was expected. felix attempts to deviate from what is expected, but ultimately he fits in well with the rich and social, and his death is a punishment at the hands of a sort-of theseus who believes he is more deserving. rather, oliver is also seen to be theseus, who famously invaded the maze, manipulated its dwellers in order to navigate it, killed the minotaur, and then manipulated his way into becoming king as a result. sound familiar? it is because of this that the imagery of oliver as the changeling is particularly important. the horns can be evocative of the minotaur, offering us a red herring, where he is truly disguised as the opposite. it’s a fake out.
fourthly, king minos (owner of the labyrinth) did not die directly at the hands of theseus, he did eventually meet his downfall and was boiled to death in a bath. james catton, head of the estate, dies of a supposed suicide, also not directly by oliver’s hands, but still implicitly connected to the events of the story, much like king minos’ death.
the lore in this film is incredible, and though emily fennel has not said that the film is an adaptation of greek myth, the parallels are deliciously undeniable. saltburn is fascinating, and truly one of the best films of 2023. there is so much stuff jam packed into it, and it’s one of those films that takes a few watches to fully grasp its depth. i love it!
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