#which I prefer greatly to be honest

[astars-things]

Spill Your Guts Quadrant edition 

Warning- throwing up 

Lando had been planning this video for months, He was excited, practically bouncing off the walls the morning of the shoot, running through the set-up, the line-up, and the nasty food items with the kind of excitement only Lando could muster. soon his phone dinged 

"sorry Lando I have a 105 fever and won't be able to make it" he read out, "What are we gonna do now?” Max groaned, leaning back on the couch as he scrolled through his phone. "We’re one man short." Lando glanced over at you. You were curled up in the corner of the couch, peacefully sipping tea and minding your own business, until you felt his gaze.

"No." you spoke not lifting your glance from your phone "You don’t even know what I’m gonna ask!" "yes I do" "Babe," he whined, walking over and dropping onto the couch beside you, resting his head dramatically on your shoulder. "Please? Just this once. I promise it’ll be fun."

"I’ve seen your videos, Lando," you raised an eyebrow. "You literally made Max eat a sardine smoothie last time."

"Okay, but you wouldn’t have to drink that one." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Unless you don’t want to answer my very juicy question…"

You sighed dramatically, staring up at the ceiling. "You really know how to manipulate me." "I prefer the term charm," he said with a smirk, kissing your cheek.

So here you were sitting at a table with Lando, Max, Ria and Ethan, with gross-looking food in front of you and Lando holding up cards with questions on them. Three cameras were pointing to the table and ring lights all around to get the best lighting possible. 

Lando had done the intro for the video and kindly introduced you, which in your head you were planning how to get out of this, Ria sat across from you with a sly smile. "Alright, Y/N. Since it wouldn’t be fair for Lando to ask you these questions, I’ll be the one torturing  I mean, interviewing you today." Ria spoke bringing you out of your thoughts 

"Alright your question is, What’s your biggest ick in Lando or eat this lovely dried roach," Ria asked Lando had straightened up in his chair and the rest were laughing while you thought if you should answer the question or eat it. You stared at the roach. Then at Lando. Then at the roach again. "No comment," you said picking up the roach holding your nose and eating it 

"No way" Ethan spoke "So I do give you the ick" Lando spoke shocked "Oh my god, she actually did it!" Max yelled. You coughed, eyes watering "That wasn't too bad", Soon it was your turn again, and after hearing some of the questions you were scared 

"Okay y/n you ready," Ria asked you shook your head "No" "your question is where was the weirdest place you and Lando have had sex or drink the clam juice." "OH MY GOD," you groaned, hiding your face completely now.

"C’mon, it’s just a question," Max teased. "Surely the answer isn’t that bad…" You slowly lifted your head, squinting like you were reconsidering all your life choices. "Ria. Be honest with me. Did he put you up to this?" Ria just held up her hands, all innocence. "Hey, I’m just the messenger." Lando grinned mischievously. "You know, if you answer it, I think we get a million more subscribers." You glared at him. "I think we break up." "Oof," Max winced, reaching for the clam juice. "Better drink up, then."

so you did as soon as it made contact with your stomach, you started gagging, tears welling up in your eyes you bolted to the nearest toilet, letting all the contents spill out, Lando knelt beside you, one hand gently pulling your hair back, the other rubbing soothing circles on your back.

"You’re okay, love," he murmured softly, his voice low and comforting. "Deep breaths. You’re alright." all you could do was groan back, once it was over Lando handed you some gum which you greatly took, once you were on your feet Lando picked you up, with your legs around his waist and your head in the crook of his neck 

he carried you back to the set where the boys and Ria immediately paused, staring at the two of you. Max raised an eyebrow. "Do we even bother asking what happened?"

"Nope," Lando said simply, settling back into his chair with you still curled in his lap, your face hidden against his neck. "Just know she’s a warrior."

[cheekytv]

Can I request a fic with Chrismd? Something that's angsty and ends in fluff and smut pls <33

hiii, here you go <3 i hope this is to your liking!!

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

synopsis: you feel neglected by your boyfriend. so, you take matters into your own hands and he makes up greatly for the hurt he caused you. word count: 2.4k genre: angst, fluff, smut MDNI! warnings: chris comes off as a real bad bf in the beginning i apologise lol, mentions of breaking up, mentions of feeling neglected smut warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering, marking, praise, slight dirty talk (like one line fr), unprotected sex, creampie this was beta-read by the lovely @lovetaroandtaemin, thank you ally dearest <3

dating someone like chris was a challenge sometimes.

not because he wasn’t sweet or kind or wonderful. 

no, chris was all of these things. sweeter and kinder and more wonderful than anyone you had ever met before.

it was just that, sometimes, he wasn’t really present in your relationship. he was on shoots most days, was playing football with his mates, was not home when you came back from your “normal” nine to five. 

you missed him. a lot. and he just wouldn’t listen to you. whenever you brought up wanting to spend more time with him, he would always make up a new excuse as to why he couldn’t - at least not this week. but soon, he’d promise. 

as much as you wished you weren’t, you couldn’t help but be fed up with him and his constant apologies that weren’t any. fine, he’d send flowers to your office or leave a sweet note on your bedside table for when he was doing an overnight shoot for a new footy video. 

it wasn’t enough. no matter how hard you tried to deem it such, you just couldn’t.

which was how you ended up here.

chris had his preferred football field booked for the whole day, and you had decided to look for him there. since he wasn’t coming to you, you might as well go to him. 

it wasn’t chris who spotted you first, but george, his eyebrows shooting up. all of his friends knew you, but none of them had ever really seen you around sets before. 

“y/n?” he jogged over to the fence where you now stood with your hands in the pockets of your warm coat. 

“hi george. uh, any chance there is a break soon and you could call chris over?” you tried a small smile, but failed. george checked your face, trying to see if he could somehow figure out what was going on, but when he couldn’t, he nodded and told you to wait just a bit. 

shifting on your feet, you went over the words in your head again. you hated doing this. hated giving him an ultimatum. you hated him putting you in this situation much more, though. 

“babe?” not even five minutes later, chris hurried over to you, worry spread all over his face. you wished his presence didn’t immediately put you at ease. it would be so much easier if you did not still love him so bloody much. 

“hi. sorry for interrupting your shoot, i just- i really needed to talk to you.” 

chris nodded slowly, finally coming to a halt in front of you, his own hands buried in the pockets of his sports jacket. 

“is everything okay? you’re worrying me, love.” 

you swallowed down the urge to simply tell him you missed him. 

“chris, i-,” you took a deep breath, averting your gaze from his handsome face to the floor, “i don’t think i can go on this way.” 

“what do you mean?” chris’ worry turned into confusion, honest and raw, and you hated it. obviously, he would never even think of you breaking up with him. but then - were you really breaking up?

“i mean, chris, that i can’t do this anymore. not like this. i love you so much, but i rarely ever see you. you aren’t home when i’m home, and you don’t make time for me when i need you to. i miss you every single day, and you- you just,” you sighed, finally bringing yourself to look at him, “and you just continue doing whatever you want and don’t even take a second to think about me, about us. i feel like i don’t matter in this life of yours, that i am not a priority and i- i can’t do that anymore, chris, i can’t feel like this anymore.”

it was safe to say chris had not expected this. his face fell and his heartbeat rose, the cold air around him suddenly suffocating. 

“fuck, y/n.” he breathed out, pulling a hand through his blonde hair, “fuck, i- i’m so sorry, i-,” he didn’t even know where to begin. he wanted to go on his knees and apologise, wanted to turn back time. never had he ever wanted to make you feel this way. he knew he was busy with work, knew his youtube channel was his main priority - but so were you! but, apparently, he had failed at showing you just how much he loved you.

“i don’t want to do this, chris, but i- i need you to change, i need you to put me first, put this relationship first. you told me you want to spend your life with me, so please, spend it with me, chris.”

tears were now welling in your eyes, and chris took one big step, his hands finding their familiar place on your face.

“oh my love, i am so fucking sorry,” he wiped away the first tear that spilled with his thumb, shaking his head, “you’re right, i wasn’t- i wasn’t the best or even a good boyfriend these past few months. i took you for granted. i took us for granted, my love, and i am so beyond sorry. of course i want to spend my life with you, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” his thumbs caressed your cheeks and the sincerity in his eyes just made more tears well up. 

“chris,” you sniffed, interrupted only by him leaning down and pressing his lips against yours.

“i’m sorry. i will do better; i promise i will.” 

he kissed you again, and you felt relief wash over you. while it did still hurt a little that it had to come to this for him to really understand, you gladly accepted his words and kissed him back, your cold fingers finding their way into the curls at his nape. 

kissing him felt like home, felt like warm honey in ginger tea, felt like a blanket wrapped around you on a cold winter day. chris was your everything, your heart and your soul, your now and your forever. 

“let me tell the guys i’m taking you home. we were almost finished anyway.” he parted from you, his eyes sparkling, and you nodded, smiling lovingly up at him. 

“okay.” you said, slightly giggling when he pressed another kiss to your cheek before hurrying off to his friends, telling them the shoot was gonna end earlier. all of them were happy to go home, and chris’ team was kind enough to offer packing everything by themselves so he could be with you. apparently, they had all kind of seen the spectacle. 

chris and you went home then. the whole way, your fingers were intertwined. and even when he unlocked the door to your shared home, he wouldn’t let go. 

you didn’t let the possibility of him acting this way just for tonight cloud your mind. you felt it, felt him realising what he could lose if he didn’t put more effort into your relationship. 

when he kissed you, his fingers were still laced between yours. just that his other hand was now on your cheek, cradling it lovingly as the kiss deepend. his tongue carefully entered your mouth, licking against your tongue. electricity shot through your body right then, just like it always did. chris’ touches still felt like they did the first time; exciting and new and addictive. 

your arms found their way around his neck, knowing this kiss wasn’t going to end anytime soon and would most likely transform into something the two of you hadn’t done in quite some time. 

being this close to him again, feeling his heart beating against yours - it almost brought tears of happiness to your eyes.

chris’ kisses wandered from your lips down to your neck, and he led you into the bedroom, your shoes and coats left by the door. you let out a whine when he sucked on your skin, when his fingers dug into your nape. his only response was a chuckle. if anything, chris was a tease, but right now he was eager to get you onto the bed, eager to get your clothes off and to show you just how much you actually meant to him. how sorry he was and how he was going to make it all up to you. 

even without the words being spoken, you knew the second you were on your back with your boyfriend kissing down your body, your sweater and shirt and falling off your body and onto the floor. next was your bra, his lips worshipping your bare breasts, your nipple stiff against his nimble tongue. arching your back against him, his hands shoving down your jeans and panties in one go, leaving you naked and waiting for him to take what was his. 

“you’re so beautiful, you are perfect, and you are mine.you  will forever be mine, love.” his breath was hot against your belly, and you could only respond with a moan. there was nothing that could ever come close to the feeling of chris between your legs, of him tracing his fingers along your sensitive skin, the inside of your thighs becoming his canvas and his lips becoming the brush. marking you the way he did when you first got together as if to make everyone aware you were his - even when he was the only one who saw them. 

“oh chris,” your fingers found the top of his head, nails slightly digging into his scalp when he leaned down further, his lips still on your skin, sucking until you cried out, another breathy chuckle hitting your core. you were aching you needed him to touch you, to love you, to-

his tongue licked against your swollen bundle of nerves, your hips jerking forward and a gasp escaping you. chris wasn’t patient today. not anymore at least. he licked over your folds, nose bumping against your clit, his forefinger finding its way to your dripping entrance. 

“missed this so much.” his voice was raspy, feeling heavenly against your folds as his finger pushed into you inch by inch. oh, how much you had missed him, missed his touch, how he felt inside of you. how he instantly knew what to do, where your sweet spots were. chris was your perfect counterpart in every way.

chris continued to fuck his finger into you, slowly at first, but with every passing second he sped up, opening you up for him. his tongue licked circles around your clit, leaving you a breathless mess on the sheets. both your hands were clawing into his hair and you let out a deep moan when he pulled his finger out, only to push in with one more. scissoring them inside of you, knuckles deep and right where you needed them. your tummy tightened, toes curling, the delicious feeling of release suddenly so close. 

“are you gonna come for me, darling?” chris kissed your bud, smirking up at you, his own arousal getting more and more pressing. while he watched you nodding desperately, he moved his free hand to shove down his own trousers and briefs, freeings his erection. 

“god, chris, don’t stop.” your hips were basically riding chris’ face by now, chasing your first high of the night. chris was more than willing to give you anything you wanted. and when he pushed into you the next time, you felt the tightness within you snap, a flush of pleasure washing over you and cries of chris’s name leaving your lips as you enjoyed every second of the intense orgasm. chris led you through it, fingers hard at work and tongue licking over every bit of cum you had gifted him. 

“so good for me. my perfect girl, i love you so much.” chris’ lips moved up, fingers leaving your still throbbing core. he trailed kisses up your body, over your tummy and chest and finally back to your lips, a heated kiss erupting between the two of you. your own taste was on your tongue, and you pulled him closer, hands eagerly moving to the hem of his shirt. he was quick to rip it off, his bare defined chest making you bite down on your lip.

“i missed you so much.” your words made his heart break a little again, reminding him of the pain he caused you. he dipped forward, kissing you again with every bit of remorse he felt. oh, how badly he wanted to take back the hurt he caused you. how badly he wanted to heal the wound that had opened up between you two. he loved you so much, and he hated how he had treated you.

“i love you, i love you so fucking much.” 

his hand grabbed his cock, jerking it off a few times before aligning it with your cunt, pushing in quick and perfect as your legs wrapped around his waist. the long moan you let out was like music to chris’ ears. 

his first thrust was slow but deep, and your whole body tingled. nails dragged along his muscular back, his hips beginning to move fully now. slowly, deeply. driving you crazy. all while his lips chased yours, tongue and teeth and spit mixing together, making both of you feel hot all over. your breath melted into one just like your hearts did and with every second that passed, chris lost more and more of his control. his thrusts became quicker and harder, and both of your moans stopped you from kissing. 

“want you to come inside me, chris, will you please?” 

“fuck, of course i will. whatever you want, baby.” 

fucking you even quicker, his head thrown back, chris knew it wasn’t going to be long until he fulfilled your wish. when you clenched around him, his name like a prayer on your lips when his cock threatened to bring you over the edge any second - that’s when chris felt his own release. burying his cock as deeply into you as humanly possible, he let it wash over him - ropes of white hot cum released within your clenching walls, your second climax hitting you hard, milking chris’ cock for all he could give you. 

“i love you, i love you so much,” he kept on whispering into your ear as he fucked both of you through the highs, finally collapsing on top of you. chests heaving, you let your fingers caress his slightly marked back, feeling a sense of pride when you felt the traces you had left. he was yours. forever and always.

“i love you too, chris.” you finally whispered back, and when he kissed you this time, you fully believed everything was going to be okay.

[drdemonprince]

sorry for the longpost.

i only just now read your essay "be jealous. make demands. want more." and greatly enjoyed it and related to a lot of the things you described as far as your feelings about mainstream polyamory. to me it often feels very manicured and not honest or natural, which has been a turn off in seeking connections with other poly or ENM people. i'm pretty slow at processing, and dont have a lot of dating experience anyway, so just the prospect of being asked upfront what i want and desire and prefer just doesnt mesh with me. that's not how i get to know myself and not how other people get to know me. i like to do things first, then survey myself and circle back on what can be done better.

even before i read the essay i saw you posting about it, saying things like "be jealous, be audacious" etc. and i really took that to heart. over the past few months i've been working on communicating my feelings and needs to people rather than bottling them up and just adapting to the environment until i cant adapt anymore and i snap. i still find that, sometimes, an emotional outburst is rhetorically advantageous for me because it communicates the degree to which i've been neglected, i guess, and also it feels good to be needy when i'm used to taking care of everything and everyone else.

i sent very emotional emails to my managers at work, i've cursed a few coworkers out here and there, and i straight up walked out during a conflict. i still have my reputation as hardworking and nice and easygoing, but now it's known that i won't tolerate certain mistreatment against me. people are being kinder and friendlier to me. i'm not embarrassed about being emotional in front of other people. it had the intended impact. now i can survey how i feel each day and be more mindful of when something bothers me without giving into my reflex of compartmentalizing until i "forget" (but secretly keeping tally until i have no more space for tallies).

i wrote a super heart-on-my-sleeve love letter to a man who we took turns ghosting each other due to our mutual shit communication and avoidant behaviors, and before i had the chance to send it he told me he met someone. i still told him how i felt. i got this far in practicing speaking the fuck up, by god i'm not letting anything steal this opportunity from me lol. it took me a few days to figure out how to do it, and now i'm waiting for a response (or waiting until i figure it's been long enough that, this time, he probably is ghosting me lol). but i feel the most relief from the fact that i did it. i hate the feeling of regretting not saying anything. been there, done that, time for something new, see if that yields any results i like.

every time i've been needy and audacious, i haven't always gotten exactly what i wanted, but at least i no longer resented myself for being complicit in my own hurt. all along i secretly knew that being quiet and polite was only adding to how much other people could push me into boxes they liked but it was so hard to stop that habit.

anyway "be needy and have the audacity" is probably the best advice i've ever followed. tbh i first learned this from the perks of being a wallflower, but it has taken years to really practice it and reap the benefits. glad i am here and thank you for being part of that

wow. i find this so inspiring. thank you for sharing this.

[overlysour]

#CRYO CHARACTERS♡-THEIR VOICELINES ABOUT YOU

Includes: Kaeya, Shenhe, Ganyu, Mika, Rosaria, Qiqi, Chongyun, Layla, Ayaka, Eula, Freminet & Diona.

Kaeya

About [Name]:

“Oh, [Name]? Yes, they’re my significant other, why? You’re not taking a liking to them, I hope. Of course, with such a personality, I’d have to fight off many people but I’d prefer if it weren’t you, traveler.. Hah, just joking with you! But yes, [Name] is indeed my lover.”

Shenhe

About [Name]:

“You’re asking about [Name]? Oh, I see. They are someone who I always feel comfortable with, much like yourself but more intimate. They have always seen me as human, despite my upbringing, and approached me very willingly, asking me if I was okay.”

Ganyu

About [Name]:

“Oh! My opinion on them? Well, they’re wonderful! They’re someone who always helps me take breaks, someone who always asks if I’m okay and mostly importantly, someone who I care deeply for..”

Mika

About [Name]:

“[Name] is a reliable teammate and person in general. No matter what situation either of us get in, we always help each other!”

Rosaria

About [Name]

“I don’t see why you’re asking me about them but [Name] is someone who’s trustworthy, I’m completely sure of that. Huh, are we friends?.. I guess you could call it that”

Qiqi

About [Name]

“Mm? Oh, [Name]?.. Much like an older sibling…”

Chongyun

About [Name]

“I greatly admire [Name] and I have nothing but respect for them! They often save me from Xingqiu’s antics whilst somehow not falling victim to them, I’m not sure how they manage, to be honest..”

Layla

About [Name]

“They’re definitely someone you can go to when in need of help or maybe even just a chat! [Name] always helps me with my sleeping problems, I’m often quite unsure how to pay them back for it…”

Ayaka

About [Name]

“Oh, you don’t know them? That’s a surprise, I was under the impression most people aquatinted with me did! Well, how do I say this… [Name] is my lover so most people close to me know of them”

Eula

About [Name]

“You wish to know about [Name]? What is your reason for such, are they in trouble? .. They’re not? Good then.”

Diona

About [Name]

“[Name]?!…. Y-you know them? They’re always telling me to go easy on the wine industry, which is totally annoying, but I guess they help me sometimes.. Agh, no, I do not think they’re cool!!”

Freminet

About [Name]

“[Name] often waits above the water whilst I’m diving, they sometimes even join me. ..Do I look forward to it? Ah, well, yes..!”

[elysiansparadise]

Hi! I'd like to know more about Mars square Saturn in synastry if you're up to it. Thank you.

How to deal with Mars-Saturn square in synastry?

The square between Mars-Saturn can cause differences when it comes to taking action. One may be more action-oriented, while the other tends to think too much before doing something. Their approach when implementing an idea can be very different, creating irritability or frustration depending on the occasion. One party may constantly feel 'held back' by the other. 

As for practical approaches, I can mention the following:

🤍Accept your differences: Through acceptance, complementation can come. You two are a team and having different approaches can make them an excellent one, mixing the ability to act of one and the ability to plan of the other can lead to not only achieving success, but to being a very strong and lasting couple in the long term. Understanding that differences are not necessarily a bad thing and keeping an open mind by recognizing the good side of these traits in the other can help you create a healthy and supportive environment.

🤍Identify friction and come to agreements: Talk about situations where you feel like you are clashing with the other [for example, money, responsibilities, time together]. This step creates a foundation of mutual understanding and allows you to anticipate future problems. To avoid recurring frustrations, it is essential that the couple work on conscious agreements about how to act in situations of conflict or making important decisions.

🤍Honest and constructive conversations: Don't be afraid to tell your partner how you feel or if you see it as optimal for both of you to make changes. It is important that both seek the well-being of the other without this meaning demotivating them or offering destructive criticism, you can disagree without harming the other person. Tact is a crucial part, but it requires honesty for it to be positive and useful. You need to talk about your feelings, needs, preferences and dislikes.

Some aspects in astrology that can help with this are the following:

🩶Aspects between Mars/Uranus and Moon not only create a happy, positive and comfortable environment in this couple, but both can help each other get out of their comfort zone by reassuring the other that they will be there to make the process smooth and positive for the other. There is a strong camaraderie between them and they work together to ensure that the relationship progresses and does not feel tense.

🩶The aspects between Mercury-Saturn can give you tact to say things. You can help each other through advice to shape or give more structure to your partner's ideas [in the case of Saturn person], or provide greater productivity and guide to action [in case of Mars person]. Constructive criticism, support and ease of sharing your projects, ideas or ways of thinking with your partner without feeling attacked.

🩶The harmonious aspects between Mars-Venus greatly favor sexual and romantic compatibility, and of course, a pleasant and comfortable coexistence for both. Promotes complementarity, the ability to connect in a calm, patient and loving way with your partner and seek to move forward and grow from love and affection.

🩶When we find harmonious aspects between Mars and Jupiter, it not only creates great sexual chemistry and makes it easier to maintain a lively and positive coexistence, but it also favors the resolution of conflicts. This couple seeks to find ways so that both benefit from the decisions they make together, they seek justice and what is right for both of them. Likewise, these aspects create this ease to see a future together in which things look brighter.

🩶When Jupiter is making a conjunction, trine or sextile with Saturn gives the couple that willingness to work on the relationship, the maturity to solve issues calmly and in a practical and beneficial way for both. Likewise, making this couple last over time. The commitment they feel with each other does not feel limiting, since both can guide each other and grow together.

🩶The harmonious aspects between Uranus and Saturn reinforce commitment without the relationship becoming suffocating, since the spark of the unexpected is maintained and refreshes the dynamic. This can be key to alleviating any feelings of stagnation. It is a mix of fluidity with stability, which can provide a supportive and long-term oriented environment.

🩶Your Mars falling in the 6th, 9th or 10th house: With these Mars overlays, the Mars person can help your partner feel more motivated, energetic and able to achieve things. Both will have an energizing effect on the other. Mars in the 6th or 10th does the task of 'shaping' the other's ideas very well, giving them realistic and more achievable perspectives without demotivating the other, support and a way to act and achieve things in the long term. And Mars falling in the 9th house can bring new perspectives and encouragement to your partner.

🩶Mercury falling in the other's 1st, 3rd, or 4th house can be of great help, since any of the previous mentioned helps them connect very easily. Not only in terms of getting to know them well, but also creating a strong intellectual connection in which they feel that they are in tune with what someone else really thinks or believes. The conversations are fluid and they feel that they can be open with each other without being judged.

🩶Honorable mention to: If you and/or your partner have mutable Moon, Mars or Mercury. Pluto-Jupiter trine or sextile. Sun-Mars harmonious aspects.

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Spy Family | ateez x reader

Pairing: spy!ateez x spy!reader

Genre: spy, action, a little romance

Word Count: 1223 words

Summary: You’ve been seeing Ateez for a year, and you’re wondering, can you actually break their hearts?

a/n: I still don't know how I feel about what I've written here but I've had this in my drafts for a YEAR and it's time that I finally complete it! this is a short series of 4 parts so I won't have a taglist for it, all the parts are drafted, it just needs editing so I'll publish the next parts as soon as I finish editing it! :) Enjoyyyy and let me know your thoughts! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 1

As you watched Wooyoung prepare dinner for everyone, the feeling of remorse sat heavily on your shoulders as the culpable feeling of regret gnawed at you from within. Every time you thought about what you were doing, your stomach twisted and churned with guilt.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

It was supposed to be a simple payback but now that you thought about it, nothing about it was simple from the start. It had almost been a year since you began your relationship with Wooyoung that had spilled over with the rest of the boys. Initially, you heard about them from your best friend whose younger brother was dating Wooyoung’s sister. Then you saw them around the Institute occasionally, since like you, they were spies in training. They joined a sister organization adjacent to yours and so, you would work alongside each other from time to time. Although, you were never on the same team for missions.

But perhaps it would have remained a professional relationship - if only Wooyoung’s sister didn’t break Beomgyu’s heart the way she did.

If only she was loyal and honest, maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation today. First, she lied and cheated, then she proceeded to humiliate him at the inauguration ceremony for new spy recruits. You remembered that evening vividly. Beomgyu had always been shy so it took a lot of courage to confess how much she meant to him that night. As everything unraveled, you were seething with anger alongside your best friend Ara. Before you knew it though, Ara was already on the other side of the hall, grabbing the girl by her ponytail and slamming her into a table before dunking her into the fountain. It took six people to get her off the girl.

That should’ve been enough revenge.

But for Ara, it wasn’t. She seethed in animosity and fury for months and then in sadness as she watched her sibling drown in heartbreak, humiliation and pain. Then she approached you. She snooped around for more information about the girl and discovered she had a younger brother - Wooyoung.

“An eye for an eye.” she claimed.

You could have said no. There was no need for you to get involved. But you considered Beomgyu to be like a younger brother so you agreed, albeit apprehensively. So now here you were - semi-cohabiting with all eight boys and they were nothing like what people had described about them. They kept to themselves and hardly interacted outside of their established circle so most claimed they were stand-offish and haughty. But in reality, they were kind, sweet, thoughtful and friendly.

Hongjoong, Yeosang and Jongho weren’t big fans of public displays of affection but rather preferred showing their affection in the safe spaces that were their rooms. On the other hand, Seonghwa and Yunho, who would seem intimidating because of their height, were sweethearts who didn’t mind small gestures such as either holding hands or being back-hugged in public unless it resulted in both of you tumbling down a hill…which happened only once. Meanwhile, San and Mingi were in-between because of their shy nature, while Wooyoung didn’t mind letting the whole world know how much you meant to him.

You couldn’t break their hearts.

So, you made another plan. In the next few days you had an upcoming mission that was out of the country and that would last a month, with perhaps a few weeks extra spilling over into the next. In that time, you would be unable to be in contact regularly so slowly, you would begin to distance yourselves from them. You weren’t going to tell them when you’ll be back and hopefully soon enough, the message would be clear.

As you replayed your foolproof plan in your head, Wooyoung draped himself over you while the others chattered amongst themselves as the evening wore on and dinner concluded. He ran his fingers through your hair and prodded your head with his nose to seek your attention as he swayed the two of you back and forth.

“You okay?” he whispered.

As you snapped out of your thoughts, you looked up to see the sweet, tender look he gave you - one that was filled with adoration and so much love. You nodded sweetly with a soft smile that you hoped was convincing before melting yourself deeper into his embrace, tracing circles on his forearm. He welcomed the gesture warmly and pressed a chaste kiss to your temple.

“I love you so much.” he murmured in your ear.

Everything inside you felt like it was frozen in place as you processed his words. Wooyoung said he loves you and though you tried to convince yourself that what you were planning was the best decision, you couldn’t ignore that bubbling feeling of warmth and tenderness that rushed in your veins when he said it - you felt the same.

On the way home, you were lost in thought. Your heart ached at the idea of never talking to the boys again. Each of them in their own way had left an impact that made your heart flutter and cheeks turn red. And after Wooyoung’s confession earlier and his sneaky kiss that may have turned into a small but passionate makeout session in a corner of the hallway right next to the elevator, you were distressed. It was unexpected like his confession. You were almost to the elevators when you felt a hand grab you and suddenly, you were being pulled into the cozy corner. Startled but aware of the familiar presence, especially by the bracelet on his arm that was identical to yours, you turned your gaze to find Wooyoung once again, staring at you with so much love and adoration before he pressed his lips to yours.

Arriving at your organization’s headquarters, you bumped into another figure who stood up to greet you but you didn’t see. It was Beomgyu. You both looked at each other with a sad smile, one that didn’t need any questioning because you both knew what it meant. The two of you strolled into the lobby in silence before Beomgyu turned to you and finally spoke.

“I’m sorry I’ve put you through this.” he laments.

“No,” you answer tiredly rubbing your face, “It’s on me. I agreed to it with Ara.”

“Still, I should’ve stopped you both.” he mumbles, “But…I also wanted revenge. At the time it felt so right.”

You couldn’t fault him, at one point, it seemed “right” to you too. 

“It’s okay, I’ll figure it out.” 

Before he can continue, you both hear a tick that raises alarm bells in your minds. The two of you turn around warily, unsure of what it is and where it's coming from, but before either of you can react, the wall explodes. Beomgyu grabs and pushes you under him to the ground behind a wall to protect the two of you.

After a few minutes of you trying to catch your bearings and soothe the unrelentless ringing in your ears, you look towards the debris and notice a small paper neatly rolled and tied with a gold string right in the middle of the floor, untouched by the rubble. Picking it up to read it, your blood runs cold with the three big words sprawled out in red.

“You’ve been warned.”

[ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash]

Sfw and nsfw headcannons for mayuri with a fem but he actually loves her plz

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Mayuri Kurotsuchi SFW and NSFW Relationship Headcanons

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Random:Bleach

Rated: 18+

Genre: sfw and smutty headcanons

Warnings: slight mention of cnc roleplay

Admin Harmony🐯: I hope you enjoy this!

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✿-Mayuri first met his s/o, he had little to no interest in them.

✿- I mean he had little to no interest in dating in general.

✿He doesn’t have time to date, he is busy doing too many experiments all at once.

✿- So, in order to somehow attract him you have to have a very interesting personalty.

✿- He is strictly a personalty kind of guy, he doesn’t give 2 shits about looks. 

✿-You could look like the weirdest gremlin in the whole soul society and he would still think his s/o is attractive.

✿- That being said, once you do catch his interest dating him would be interesting.

✿He would really enjoy someone who is also into science because they both have something in common. But, it’s okay if his s/o isn’t into it either. As long as they are interesting  in some way or another it doesn’t matter.

✿Once you two start to date people can slowly start to see him act differently around his s/o than with others.

✿ we know that he generally has no regard over most others, but with his s/o it’s different…

✿He doesn’t want to do any experiments (or at least any, dangerous ones.)  especially if his s/o lack the same views and or interest in them.

✿If his s/o has no interest in science or experiments then he would prefer for his s/o to be completely separate from it.

✿The most his s/o would be  is just hanging out in his lab (He even has a nice chair or love seat for them to sit in, and yes, people have question it to him.)

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✿I feel like in general he doesn’t really have a high sex drive.

✿but when he does want to have sex ooohhh boy.

✿He is a very kinky person ngl.

✿  He is into roleplay, you can kind of guess of the roleplay he is into.

✿Also into doctor/patient roleplay as long he can “use” his crazy tools on his s/o and especially if his s/o enjoys it.

✿Definitely more of dominate, and he also loves degrading his partners. 

✿ he is both a sadist and a masochist at the same. (Sadist leaning)

✿Enjoys someone who is a huge masochist.

✿He likes very messy sex, he enjoys all of the slobber, tears, and bodily fluids.

✿HE IS A TEASE and he loves to edge his partners to the point of them crying and begging for them to let him cum.

✿When he is domming, he loves brats, just more fun ways for him to “torture” them.

✿Favorite place and probably the only place for you guys to have sex is in his lab since he is always in there.

✿But every once in while you guys can take it in his office or his bedroom it just really depends on his mood.

✿Enjoys face fucking, and sloppy blowjobs, and “forcing” his s/o a blowjob.

✿I’m going to be honest, this is a heated opinion but I think he would low-key be into cnc roleplay.

✿ONLY IF HIS S/o LIKES IT. CONSENT IS IMPORTANT!

✿Sometimes he has his makeup on during sex, it’s mainly equal parts.  One day he will, one day he wont,

✿does do after care with his s/o because he cares about them greatly.

✿when he is feeling soft (which is a treat) he will praise them, and caress them gently.

✿Enjoys skin on skin contact.

✿Either way, no matter who is s/o he still loves them and will do whatever he can to make his s/o comfortable during sex.

[yandere-fics]

♡ Their Darling Has A Bad Habit ♡

(assigned everyone with a darling with a different bad habit to keep things unique.)

♡ Miriel would probably cry to find out her darling smokes weed, it's not really the weed bothering her, but can you please stop smoking it? For her? She knows you prefer the way it feels compared to something like edibles but please it smells abhorrent, the smoke is now getting in her lungs and making her feel ill when you do it too long, and the smoke is not good for you, can't you just let her get you those edibles or something? Plus whenever she smells smoked and fire she has flashes back to the few times there was a fire in the forest she grew up in so you're also triggering her anxiety every time you smoke. Eventually she'll just give you an edible in the morning's instead and hide all the real smokable weed and find ever bong or pipe you have to get rid of them. If you want to get high, it has to be edibles even though you do try to explain to her how edibles feel like a much different experience, she's not having it. ♡

♡ Eliza was very confused to hear her darling's stomach growl whenever she hung out with them because she never went long enough without eating that her stomach could growl and when you explained that sometimes you would forget to eat until you were really hungry, she was even more confused. That's just the silliest thing she's ever heard puppy. Don't you worry, your wolf will hunt and feed you, you need to be full to have her pups. She won't believe you in the future when you say you're not hungry and even when you're completely full, could not eat another bite, there she is with the food so you don't forget to eat ever again. No is not a word she understands when it comes to feeding you, she's trying to breed you and that would be very difficult if she doesn't make sure you're always entirely full. ♡

♡ Selene didn't realize when she met you the first night that you drinking wasn't just a one off thing but a constant in your life. Sure a drink is okay occasionally for her mate, she's a hypocrite and doesn't consider that she was a raging alcoholic before but you are her mate and she doesn't want you like that all the time. Your drinking will be monitored and greatly reduced and if you really need that feeling there's certain things that supernatural's give to their mates to keep them high and compliant that are healthier than an alcohol so you can just have that instead. She also just feels uncomfortable looking at you drinking alot because it's like looking in a mirror of her own bad habits before meeting you. ♡

♡ Coffee really is a no no for her mate in Kassien's mind, like maybe one of two cups a day but she won't let you have overwhelming amounts of caffeine because you're her sweet soft mate so there's really just nothing you should be doing that would require having that much extra energy. Just relax at home, you don't have to work ever and I think she would completely lose her patience if she found out her darling was drinking mass amount of coffee like eight cups a day, you would have to move in with her, sorry but it just can't continue and she will force the water down your throat you damn brat. ♡

♡ We all know Nikki loves to sleep, she would sleep all the time if she could so having a mate who very rarely sleeps is not ideal for her, she would prefer you sleep just way too much if she's being honest. Even her soothing abilities barely manage to make you sleep an extra hour, she's going to have to start drugging you if you don't let her get in her allotted nap time with her mate hours. Humans don't usually have this much energy to never sleep so why are you just always awake? When she finds out you do feel tired, you just simply want to stay up, she'd be a bit irritated and definitely drug you.

♡ Runa already has to go into her three day comas which means there's a chunk of the week you already can't spend together but adding to that you sleep all the time? That just won't do it for her, if she's up for four days out of the week and sleeps for the other three then she's making you get on that schedule so you have more time together. At first she might let you keep your same pattern cause she's a pervert and so she can do things to you while you sleep but after awhile she prefers to have you awake and thus begins boot camp to get you on her time. ♡

♡ Nora had been told by the boss on your file that you'd had some bad habits but she hadn't expected your apartment to be a complete mess which is when she decides she has to kidnap you so she can have you living in a cleaner living environment. She will overwork herself to get this done even if you're sloppy and toss things everywhere or leave trash on the bed and she comes home to you napping next to a pizza box cause you were eating and randomly felt tired. Eventually she may even tie you up because the way you're taking care of your own needs is inefficient to her. ♡

♡ Sawyer loves when her mate uses her money to treat themselves so having a darling that doesn't buy anything and keeps everything even underwear until it is a single thread is a nightmare to her and eventually she'll call for an intervention, by that I mean you come home to everything thrown out and forcibly replaced with new items and are force stripped so she can put you in new clothes and get rid of the old stuff and this is what she'll just have to do from now on, along with forcing you to go out on shopping date wit her, if you won't pick things yourself, she will get them for you herself to break this habit. ♡

[penkura]

I feel like I annoy you. I am so sorry if i do and feel free to ignore it.

After you wrote feverdream so beautifully I was so overwhelmed. (Ofc i do love all of your work)

Tbh Penguin with a dominant side lives free in my head. Especially if he maybe isnt too fond of reader during a miscommunication (or other scenarios). I am weak for an enemy to lover trope. Even so we know that our boy is mostly totally sweet and most likely to become friends with everyone in an instant.

So if you are interested in it or find inspiration I would love to see the result.

Otherwise if you prefer pure fluff. It would surely be funny for either Penguin or Law tonget hit by a truth fruit kinda power. So they have to be completely honest for a short period of time and i can totally see them going to hide so they cant spell their true feelings towards you.

Either way have a fantastic day and i sure hope work will treat you good and you can take a break soon ❤️

Since you've been doing the Truth Truth Fruit posts, I'll do the first prompt! 👀 I got an idea that I hope is to your liking, and everyone else's of course!

More Penguin prompts please I love him sm

Penguin doesn’t get you at all.

He’s tried, every day since you joined, to be nice and accommodating, he tries to include you in group card games, attempts to help you with whatever chores you’re assigned, and stays up to sit with you on night watches. The problem, though, is you, how you don’t even talk to him when he tries to speak to you or anything really. If he calls for you, you stare at him with your eyes slightly wide, which confuses him greatly. If he has something for you or Law needs you, all you do is nod in response and leave, not even thanking him.

What the hell is your problem, what could he have done to make you act so coldly towards him? He just wants to be your friend, even when Shachi tries to suggest it’s more than that is what Penguin wants, but he just rolls his eyes at his lifelong friend. There are zero ulterior motives, he’s just trying to be nice and a good crewmate, that’s all it is.

If only you would talk to him, let him prove he’s not a bad person, but he’s just so frustrated at this point that he’s given up, Penguin has started to ignore you just the same as you’ve done to him. He only speaks to you now if Law needs something from you, he doesn’t even ask you to join in cards night or to go with him and Shachi into towns anymore. If you do hang out with everyone on game nights, you’re more inclined to sit off to the side with Law and watch everyone, mostly talking to your captain.

Penguin has mostly given up, you won’t talk to him or anything. You must dislike him, that’s the only thing that makes sense, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s it. You don’t like him. He can’t make you like him, so he won’t try anymore, he won’t bother. He stops talking to you entirely, even if someone else needs you. He just gets Shachi or Ikkaku to talk to you.

It does annoy your crewmates, to see the two of you at odds and not wanting to talk to each other for…what was the reason again? Shachi isn’t sure, but he’s tired of it just like the rest of them.

It's why he brings up the idea of leading you and Penguin into one of the supply closets, separately, before locking you both in and setting someone as guard to prevent anyone from letting you out until you’ve talked about things. He’s lucky that your crewmates are willing to help, Clione easily leads you in and the makes an excuse that he needs to ask Law something. In reality he went to get Penguin with the same excuse of needing to look for something, pushing the older man into the closet and causing him to nearly knock you over, before the door is pulled closed and locked from the outside. Penguin really tried to open it, for several minutes, before he sighed and gave up. You’d already decided to sit in a corner and let him be, even while he kicks an empty bucket out of frustration.

“Stupid, all of them.” Penguin sighs and sits across from you the best he can, though it’s still close enough that your shoes are touching.

You don’t say anything, you’re confused why you and Penguin have been locked in the supply closet. You know he doesn’t like you, you’ve known from the start, believing he’s always pretending to be nice when he invites you for games and the like. You were used to that, from men and women, but you’d come to trust Ikkaku and Clione more than anyone. Shachi was working his way into your circle, but you felt like Penguin was just messing with you all the time, even when your crewmates swore he wasn’t like that and he really did want to be your friend. It’s hard for you to believe that, even harder to accept it despite your growing feelings for Penguin.

Part of you wonders what you did to develop a crush on someone who doesn’t even talk to you anymore.

“…any idea why they locked us in here?”

Penguin shrugs, ignoring the fact this is the first time he’s heard your voice in the last few months you’ve been with them.

“Probably trying to make us talk or something. Bet Shachi came up with it.” Another sigh whole he takes off his hat for a moment to brush his hair back, barely taking note of how your eyes widen a little and you look more nervous, “Just cause we’re on the same crew doesn’t me have to like each other…”

“Oh,” your shoulders drop a bit but you nod, you figured he didn’t like you after all, “Yeah…I guess so…”

Odd, he didn’t think you’d sound so disappointed. If you two are locked in here though, he might as well try some small talk. There’s nothing else to do unless you want to make a supplies list.

“Can I ask you something?” Penguin has to think of how to word it when you nod, even as you keep your eyes off him, “Why don’t you talk to me?”

It takes you a few minutes to come up with a response, Penguin thinks you’re not to answer so he doesn’t hold his breath for one. It stands to reason, you don’t talk to him normally anyway.

“My last crew, well, just a couple of them, they’d invite me to do stuff then go without me or tell me it was a joke,” you sigh a little while Penguin watches you, seeming to understand a little more, “I guess I just let that get to me when you started being so friendly, I was expecting the same things. I should—”

“I wouldn’t do that to you. I wanted to be friends with you.”

“Shachi told me that but I didn’t believe him…I’m sorry, I should’ve trusted that you weren’t like them.”

“…I probably should’ve taken things slow, sorry.”

You both stay quiet for a bit after that, not sure what else to say or talk about. It feels so awkward, you hate this kind of forced small talk. Penguin eventually stands up, holding his hand out to help you up, and not letting go after you’re on your feet, giving you a slight smile.

“Let’s start over, yeah? We’ll pretend the last few months didn’t happen, and work out a friendship together.”

“I think I’d like that, Penguin.”

You two will move past this, you’ll become real friends and spend more time together, especially after Shachi lets you out of the closet and Penguin chases him down for it, threatening to lock his friend in their next. The next time Penguin invites you to play cards with everyone, you join and end up beating him during a far too long game of poker. He’s shocked but the grin on your face makes his heart feel weird, and he can’t help the smile that comes across his own face.

Man…maybe Shachi was right and there is more here…

[videnrambles]

JJK Time Travel AU

After the whole Sukuna war Nobara, Yuji and Megumi meet up to fight a curse and all 3 of them are sent back in time into their bodies like a month before Yuji first swallowed the finger. 

Notes:

They all have their memories

They are in there younger bodies, there are no doubles running around

They all basically wake up on the floor of their old houses panicking because how tf am I here, I haven’t been here in years?? Why do I feel younger? After a few hours they calm down and each starts to come up with their own plan. 

Nobara remembers Megumi’s old phone number and calls him up to see if this is actually real? Do you remember me? What happened? The two of them panic at each other over the phone for ten minutes trying to figure out what's going on when they remember Yuji.

Ofc neither of them can call Yuji cause his broke ass uses a landline at this point in time. 

After another hour Yuji manages to call Nobara and after some weirdly coordinated communication. (Yuji is unable to join group chats or group calls so Nobara is sending Megumi voice notes while reading aloud his texts to Yuji) they decide to meet during the weekend at Yuji’s house. 

Yuji buys a cheap flip phone so that they can text n shit

During this week we see many emotional scenes

Megumi starts being much nicer to Gojo which scares him greatly

Yuji tells his Grandpa everything and spends way more time with him

Imma be honest idk anything about what Nobara doing so we’ll assume she’s tryna remember lotto numbers

etc.

When they meet up many hugs and tears are exchanged, they all have separation anxiety from the war. They begin planning on how to stop everything from going down. Megumi stole Gojo’s black card so they are having this discussion in a private room at a cat cafe.

Key points for the talk:

Yuji still has all his techniques and cursed energy from the future, while the other two don’t. 

Megumi suggests that Yuji apply to join Jujutsh Tech but Yuji admits he does not want to attend and would like to work on stopping things that happened outside the school. 

Nobara and Megumi agree to this and are a bit sad until Yuji tells them that he plans to try and get an apartment in Tokyo so that they can visit each other.

They all agree that outside of Yuji’s grandpa, they shouldn’t tell anyone about the time jump. 

Yuji will still take the finger but keep it on his person so that he can easily pass it on to Megumi when the time comes

Megumi buys Yuji a new phone, “It’s fine Yuji you know he won’t notice” “It's the principal Megumiiii”

Eventually Megumi needs to leave as Gojo keeps messaging him wanting to know where he is. Nobara decides to stay with Yuji while she waits for school to start. That night they video call with Megumi while scrolling through apartment websites and watching movies. Yuji also looks for part time jobs he could take near the apartments.

His grandpa is gonna leave him a big sum of money so he doesn’t need to worry too much, but he would prefer to not blow it all immediately

Eventually the day comes where Yuji is able to grab and pass off the finger to Megumi with no trouble and they say their goodbyes. Wasuke who has met Yuji’s friends at this point tells him how proud he is of him, how glad he is to have a chance to see what the boy he raised will become. There is no curse to help people, Wasuke tells Yuji to live his life how he wants to, he’s already lived for everyone else now it's time to live for himself.

A few days later Yuji and Nobara board a train to Tokyo, and all too soon they arrive at their stop. They both get off together quietly talking, Yuji looks over and smiles at Megumi before walking off into a crowd waving goodbye at Nobara. As Yuji disappears into the crowd Nobara takes a deep breath and joins the student teacher duo waiting for her.

I have like little ideas for what they do after this but I don't feel like writing all that shit out

[xjulixred45x]

Can you do ROR request? A Family headcanon of Thor x Sif! Reader?

(you can include this or not to, if you like? Thor & Sif's children, mostly probably in Norse mythology:

Magni: God (of Aid, Brotherhood, Loyalty, Physical strength,& might). The one who lift the giant to save his father at age of 3 days old. Probably, Son of Thor & Jarnsaxa, Stepson of Sif. Resembles more on Thor.

Ullr: God (of Archery, Hunting, Winter activities, like Skiing). Son of Sif, possibly stepson of Thor. Resembles more on Sif.

Modi: God (of Berserk, Brotherhood, Courage, Fight, Kinship, strength, Wrath).

Thrud: Goddess (of Battle) or Valkyrie (in ROR, She's one of the 13 Valkyries, Volundr of Raiden Tameemom) )

okay!

Thor x Sif! Reader: Children

Again, this is more of an answer than a request. Sorry, my motivation for many fandoms is dead.

I can't see the Thor of Record of Ragnarok having children before Sif. Partners? Sure, we all experiment, and Thor did have partners before his wife, but he never settled down with them (most likely his partners ended up leaving him due to his stoic and "unemotional" nature. Honestly, not many people can read Thor easily, and to be honest, it's not like Thor was really affected by it).

The same with Sif. She was isolated from the rest of the gods precisely because they disliked the Aesir/giants. Even if some were understanding enough to have a relationship, they were never enough to put aside their differences for Sif (which may or may not have contributed to her isolation even more).

Let's just say that all the children you mentioned are Thor and Sif's children when they marry, for simplicity's sake.

Thor is definitely a somewhat harsh father; he wants his children to know how to navigate the world; they are gods, after all. Although he's also a protective father, he watches his children like a hawk when they're younger, holds them like glass, and definitely keeps Loki away from them at all costs. He's a present father, but he definitely struggles to open up emotionally to his children; he speaks more through actions.

You mentioned that some children are more like one father than another. Thor probably tends to be harsher with children who resemble him (unintentionally, he tends to be harsh on himself, and that sometimes passes on to his children) and softer with children who resemble Sif (not that he thinks Sif is weak or that his children are, it's like a reflex). Incidentally, there are definitely children who prefer spending time with Thor than with Sif.

Those children would be Modi and Magni, who fit better with their father's more violent nature. They follow him everywhere, looking for a worthwhile fight. Thor doesn't complain about it. Some people say it must be annoying to have the two boys chattering away when he's out, but honestly? It's good for him to know he's not alone. Besides, someone has to keep either Thor from destroying everything in a fight or the kids from attacking someone without thinking. Bad tempers run in the blood.

Sif is definitely the most emotionally intelligent mother and the heart of the family, the glue that keeps it together and happy. Because let's be honest, children with Thor's blood couldn't communicate their feelings if their lives depended on it, so it falls to Sif to make sure her family doesn't kill each other over silly fights, and they all respect her for that (Thor and Sif's children aren't so naive as to believe their mother is easier to deal with than their father; if anything, it's the opposite).

Ullr is the one who spends the most time with Sif, even as an adult, precisely because they share some roles as gods. Not only do they have the most in common, but Ullr also greatly admires his mother. You could say he wants to learn all her harvesting secrets and techniques, but at the same time, he's far below her level. He respects her greatly and helps out in any way he can when times are tough during the harvest.

Thrud LOVES spending time with her mother! She's one of the few people who makes her feel like a powerful warrior, like a lady. Sif reminds her how beautiful she is inside and out, and Thrud is thrilled every time she hears Sif's sweet words. For this reason, she's more than willing to break the bones of anyone who even speaks ill of her mother (they all are, but Thrud is the one who gets even the most).

In short, they're a rowdy, wild, and very, VERY happy family.

_________

(ESPAÑOL)

De nuevo, esto es mas una respuesta que un pedido, lo siento mi motivación para muchos fandoms esta muerta

No puedo ver al Thor de Record of Ragnarok teniendo hijos antes de Sif. ¿parejas? Seguro, todos experimentamos y Thor llego a tener parejas anteriores a su esposa, pero no llego a asentarse con ellas (lo mas probable es que sus parejas terminaran dejándolo por su naturaleza estoica y “poco emotiva” honestamente, no muchos pueden leer a Thor fácilmente, y siendo honestos no es como que ha Thor le afectara realmente).

Lo mismo con Sif, ella estuvo aislada del resto de los dioses justamente porque le tenían rechazo a los Aesir, aun si alguno fue lo suficientemente comprensivo como para tener una relación, nunca fue lo suficiente como para dejar de lado las diferencias que tenían por Sif (lo cual pudo o no contribuir a su aislamiento aun mas).

Vamos a decir que todos los hijos que mencionaste son hijos de Thor y Sif cuando se casan, por simple simplicidad.

Thor definitivamente es un padre algo duro, quiere que sus hijos sepan como manejarse en el mundo, son dioses después de todo. Aunque también es un padre protector, vigila a sus hijos como un halcón cuando son más pequeños, los sostiene como si fueran de vidrio, y definitivamente mantiene a Loki lejos de ellos a toda costa. Es un padre presente pero definitivamente le cuesta abrirse emocionalmente a sus hijos, habla más con acciones.

Mencionaste que algunos hijos tienen más parecido a un padre que a otro, probablemente Thor tiende a ser más duro con los hijos que se parecen a él (de forma no intencional, el tiende a ser duro consigo mismo, y eso a veces se pasa a sus hijos) y ser más suave con los hijos que se parecen a Sif (no quiere decir que piense que Sif es débil o que sus hijos lo sean, es como un reflejo). Dicho sea de paso, definitivamente hay hijos que prefieren pasar tiempo con Thor que con Sif.

Dichos hijos serian Modi y Magni, que encajan mejor con la naturaleza mas violenta de su padre. Lo siguen a todos lados en busca de alguna pelea que valga la pena. Thor no se queja al respecto, algunas personas dicen que debe ser molesto tener a los dos chicos parloteando sin cesar cuando el sale ¿pero honestamente? Es bueno para el saber que no esta solo. Además alguien tiene que evitar que 1-Thor destruya todo en una pelea o 2- que los niños ataquen a alguien sin pensar. El mal carácter viene en la sangre.

Sif es definitivamente la madre mas emocionalmente inteligente y el corazón de la familia, el pegamento que la mantiene unida y feliz. Porque seamos honestos, niños con la sangre de Thor no podrían comunicar sus sentimientos ni aunque sus vidas dependieran de ello, por lo que cae en las manos de Sif asegurarse de que su familia no se mate entre ellos por peleas tontas, y todos la respetan por eso (los hijos de Thor y Sif no son tan ingenuos como para creer que su madre es mas fácil de lidiar que su padre, en todo caso es lo opuesto).

Ullr es quien pasa mas tiempo con Sif incluso como adulto, justamente porque comparten algunas funciones como dioses, por lo que no solo tienen mas cosas en común, sino que Ullr tiene una gran admiración por su madre. Podrías decir que quiere aprender todos sus secretos y técnicas para la cosecha, pero al mismo tiempo esta muy lejos de su nivel. La respeta mucho y ayuda en lo que puede cuando llega una época dura en la cosecha.

¡Thrud AMA pasar tiempo con su mama! Es de las pocas personas que la hacen sentir tanto como una guerrera poderosa, como una dama, Sif le recuerda lo bella que es por dentro y por fuera, y Thrud se emociona cada vez que escucha las palabras dulces de Sif. Por lo mismo esta mas que dispuesta a romperle los huesos a cualquiera que siquiera hable mal de su madre (todos lo son, pero Thrud es quien mas se desquita).

En conclusión, son una familia alborotada, salvaje y muy MUY feliz.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT AND A POSSIBLE MEDIOCRE WORK😭 I KNOW THIS IS NOT WORTH THE WAIT.

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gold rush | cole walter

cole walter x female mc

summary: gracie has never been in love. she thinks. though, the enigmatic cole walter seems to have invaded her thoughts and infected her in every sense. she's completely enamored. too bad every other girl is too.

word count: 3.5k

author's note: i thought we could have a little haley james tutor moment and it was so much fun to write

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

When we are little, our mothers always tell us to never stare at the sun. That the brightness is too much for our delicate irises. It's hard to imagine that something so essential to our lives can be just as harmful. We count on the sun to rise, as much as we count on it to set. It's a constant in our lives, the kind of thing that feels comforting because you know that no matter what, it will never leave.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I startle as the bell pulls me from my thoughts, the ramblings of my calculus teacher going in one ear and out the other. Truly, I try to pay attention in class. But it's hard when he's sitting right there, not knowing. Not knowing that I would do anything to have the privilege of loving him.

I've always wondered what it must be like to grow up that beautiful. With the kind of hair that falls into place like dominoes and the kind of eyes that captivate a room. I've never been anything special. Not like Cole Walter. He's enigmatic, pulling everyone in and willing us to look in his direction.

Standing from my desk, I take my books into my arms and beeline for the lockers. I've got work after school, and we just got a new shipment in, meaning I get to spend my time reading the backs of the covers and creating a mental tbr. I force myself to forget Cole, hating how much of my thoughts he seems to consume when he barely knows my name.

Sure, we've been in class together since grade-school, but he's always hung around Dylan and Erin. Never me, not that I've even tried to be his friend. I'm not good at that kind of stuff. I much prefer to keep to myself, silently admiring him, because it's comfortable. He'll never know how much he consumes me, but that's okay. He doesn't need to. My crush on Cole Walter is as steady as the sun that rises each day. The sun never thinks about me, it just simply exists, and the rest of us revolve around it.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

The next week, my calculus teacher asks me to stay after class. To be completely honest, I was confused, since I was doing well in his class. I had even aced the last test.

"Gracie, I wanted to ask you a favor. I have a student who is really struggling in this class and I think that he would greatly benefit from your insights. Of course, you would get volunteer hours, but I was wondering if you could offer your time to tutor him?"

My brows furrow, Mr. Henry leaning against his desk, his arms crossed in front of him. I've tutored kids before, but it was always through the tutoring center at school. A teacher has never explicitly asked me to tutor one kid in one subject.

I don't really have the time, working at the bookstore, being on the volleyball team, and balancing my other courses. But I would hate to let Mr. Henry down, since he's one of my favorite teachers. And the people-pleaser in me can rarely find myself saying no. Which is why I nod, holding tightly onto the straps of my backpack.

"Yeah, of course. I'm free seventh period, so if you could just send him to the tutoring center then, that would be great."

Mr. Henry looks relieved, sending me a smile of approval.

"Perfect, thank you so much Gracie."

"Mhm." I nod as I begin to leave the classroom, "See ya, Mr. Henry."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I feel like a little kid again, like at any moment I'm going to be scolded for looking at the sun for too long. But it's kind of hard not to stare when none other than Cole Walter walked into the tutoring center.

He's holding a green slip of paper, his blond hair gracefully falling into place. A simple grey t-shirt clings to his torso, his tanned arms seeming to shine as if he wasn't even from this world. A smirk adorns his lips, as his eyes connect with mine. I swear I feel my heart stutter in my chest.

"Gracie?" He lifts the paper in my direction.

I don't know if I can do this. I don't want him to be real. I'm perfectly fine with him being a figment of my imagination, a projection of my personal life. He didn't know me. He didn't need to. We would graduate and my silly crush on Cole Walter would disappear as if it were a hummingbird in the spring. There one minute, gone the next. And I was okay with that. He was never supposed to be permanent. But I'm afraid that if I get to know him, one of two things will happen.

He is nothing like my brain has projected onto him, and this daydream of mine is inevitably ruined.

This crush of mine becomes something so permanent that I fear I will never be able to scrub it from my brain.

Either one sounds like hell.

I realize that I haven't responded yet, and Cole is giving me an odd look that I can't quite decipher.

"Oh yeah, hi." I scramble to say, standing up from the table and holding my hand out like an idiot.

Cole's eyes glance down at my hand before bouncing back up to my face. Reluctantly his palm slides against mine and he gives it a good shake before pulling away with a laugh.

"So formal."

He pulls the chair out next to mine, throwing his body into it and leaning over to reach into his backpack.

"Sorry." My cheeks heat with embarrassment as I sit back down.

His scent immediately intoxicates me, and I can't tell if it's cologne or just him. The woodsy notes fill my senses and I can't help but wonder if he knows how enamored everyone is by Cole Walter.

"So, Mr. Henry seems to think that I need some help with calculus. Can you help me, Gracie?"

I give him a soft smile, not daring to look him in the eyes. They're the most inviting waters, though I would hate to feel like a sinking ship.

"I suppose I could, Cole."

He pulls his last test out of his folder, sliding it in my direction for me to look it over.

"Do you tutor a lot?"

I hate the way that his voice fills me, making my whole body flush just from his proximity.

"Um, not as much anymore. I'm kind of busy recently."

My eyes scan over the pages of his test as I nervously tap my fingers against the fabric of my jeans. In all honesty, Cole has a pretty good grasp of the concepts, he just struggles with using them.

Cole's silent for a moment before speaking again.

"Hm. Busy with what?"

I ignore his question, finally pulling my eyes up to look at him.

"I think this is fixable. You're not bad at calculus, Cole. We just need to work on applying the stuff you already know."

I don't want Cole to know things about me because I don't want him to become real. The more distance I keep, the more comfortable I am. There nothing I would hate more than for him to realize that I'm just as obsessed with him as every other girl. It's pathetic, really, the way that he just pulls me in without even knowing.

But I don't want a gold rush. I want something real, tangible. Cole Walter is nothing more than the kind of hope that humans hold on to. It's too good to be true, and I would much rather be looking at it from a distance than get to close and realize that it's all been a lie that I've been telling myself.

Cole seems a little caught off guard with my deflection, his eyes flicking between mine as if deciding whether to call me out for it. He doesn't, going along with me instead.

"Sure. Teach me the art of integrals, Gracie."

I work with Cole on correcting his test for the next hour, determined to focus on something that makes sense to me. Calculus. When the hour hand of the clock reaches three, I write down a list of practice problems for Cole to work on at home.

"Alright, these are for you to work on, and we'll go over them at our next session, okay?"

I start to put my textbook into my bag, standing to leave.

"Okay," Cole draws out, still sitting at the table.

He looks like heaven sitting there, the evening light hitting his skin in an angelic way. It seems as if even the sun herself can't resist Cole Walter.

"Okay." I breath out, giving him a curt nod before leaving the room.

I feel as if I can finally breath again as I step into the parking lot, allowing the fresh air to fill my lungs and clear my head. Heading toward my green Jeep, I halt when I hear someone call my name. I turn around, hand pausing on the handle of the driver's door.

Cole is walking in my direction and I think for a moment that I forgot something at the table. When he reaches me, he leans his arm against the hood of my car, taking a moment to admire my biggest pride.

"Nice car." He gives me a smile that allows dimples to form at his cheeks, and there's something so human about it that it makes me dizzy.

"Thanks."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, and I turn my head to scan around the parking lot, confused.

"Did you need something?"

I probably sound like a bitch, but I have work at 3:30 and I don't want Mary to be upset with me.

"Oh, uh yeah. I can't do seventh period for our next tutoring session. Taking my sister to her football practice."

"Oh. Well I have volleyball in the morning and work after school- I can't really do any other time."

"You could come to my house after work?"

The question catches me so off guard that I swear I almost start to violently cough.

"I couldn't- I get off pretty late and I don't want to make you wait for me. We could just wait until next week."

Cole seems amused at my rambling, tilting his head while my eyes fight to look anywhere else but him.

"Nah, it's cool if you're okay with it. I really want to do good in calc. Here, give me your phone."

He holds his hand out and I don't even hesitate before putting the cream phone case into his palm. Cole adds his number to my phone, texting himself to set it up.

"Okay, just text me when you get off and I'll send you my address. See you tomorrow, tutor girl."

I feel like my body is frozen in place as he backs away, waving at me before getting into his truck.

Cole Walter just put his number in my phone. My. Phone. What the fuck.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I think that my favorite thing about the sun is that it holds our entire solar system together. Its gravity is so magnetic that it keeps all of the planets orbiting around it in a constant rhythm.

It provides all possibility of life for us, while not harboring any of its own.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

The next day, I feel like my shift at the bookstore lasts a million years. Time moves slowly, inching by as I dread going to Cole's house. Like I said, I don't like that he's becoming real. And even worse, I hate that I almost like him more now that I've been around him. This is absolutely dreadful.

I hold my chin in my hand as I watch the minutes tick by, my body shielded by the register. Today's been pretty slow, though I did see a new paperback release from Emily Henry that has me wanting to buy it immediately. When it reaches 7:30, Mary wanders to the front, letting me off. My stomach drops with butterflies when the reality of seeing Cole Walter's life outside of school settles in. It feels wrong, in a way.

Reluctantly, I type out a message to Cole, praying that he remembered the fact that we were supposed to meet after I got off work.

Gracie: hey, it's gracie! i just got off work if we're still good for tutoring

Cole wastes no time sending me his address, about ten minutes away.

Cole: See ya soon, tutor girl ;)

I ignore the way that heat flushes my cheeks from his text and drive to his house, admiring the way that the sunset paints the sky with the final light of the day.

When I pull up to the ranch house, the pale yellow home seems to tell a story. The final streaks of light disappear beyond the tops of the aspen trees, and the moon peeks over the horizon. I text Cole to let him know that I'm here before grabbing my backpack and closing the door of my Jeep.

Cole meets me at the front door, swinging it open as I walk up the porch steps, the dark wood creaking beneath me. He flashes me a smile and I notice his eyes scan me up and down before settling on my face. I'm wearing a pair of baggy low rise jeans with a simple black tank top, a white pair of sneakers on my feet. My hair is in waves, the dark hair cascading to the middle of my back.

My lips lift softly in his direction, as he leans against the doorframe. He adorns a worn broncos shirt and a pair of grey sweats, looking so effortlessly beautiful. My hands clutch onto the straps of my bag as I stand in front of him, needing something to release the pent up nerves.

"Hey." I rock uncomfortably on my heels.

"Hey," he nods his head toward the house, "here, come on in."

I follow him inside, kicking off my shoes at the entrance before glancing around in the house. Warm wood encases the surfaces, the walls covered in photos and artwork. My home is nothing like this, almost sterile in comparison.

I hate how much more real it makes him feel.

Cole heads up the stair case and I follow, my eyes scanning each image, trying to understand how a family could have this many photos. He waits at the top, watching as I pause on a couple of the pictures, admiring the large smiles that grace the Walter boys as they grow.

"There's so many." I breath out at the top of the staircase, Cole twisting the handle of his door.

"Yeah, we get that a lot." Cole laughs.

"No I mean, there's so many pictures. I think my mom maybe has five pictures of me as a baby."

Cole gives me an odd look, and I realize that I just told him something real about me. It's something that I didn't realize was that weird until I started visiting my friend's houses growing up. That the parents saw their kids as their biggest accomplishments, rather than a burden to take care of until I move out. Though, I've never known anything different, so I don't think it really bothers me.

"Anyway," I work to change the subject, resting my backpack against the corner of his bed frame, "did you finish those problems?"

He doesn't say anything for a second, before internally shaking himself out of it and clearing his throat.

"Yeah, all except one. I didn't know where to start."

I nod, placing my textbook on the floor next to his bed and sliding myself to a sitting position, knees pulled to my chest.

"How was work?" Cole asks, handing me his problem sheet before laying on top of the bed, head close to mine.

"Slow. But we got in a new book I really want to read so that's fun."

Cole's head is next to mine as we both scan his paper, and I give him corrections as well as a starting point for the problem he was confused on. His proximity has my chest tightening, my whole body feeling like it's in fight or flight mode. I can feel his breath warm against me, his heat radiating like a phone you've been using too long.

I play with my fingernails as Cole works on the problem. It's so weird being in his room, seeing the posters he hung up as memories of his childhood. His fascinations and all the little things that make Cole Walter, Cole Walter.

"Done." I startle at his voice and the feeling of his arm as it brushes against my shoulder to hand me the paper.

My eyes catch on a bookshelf, filled with worn paperbacks.

"You like to read?"

I turn my head to catch Cole's eyes, and he's a lot closer than I expected, our faces merely inches apart.

"Yeah. Mostly just the shit that my dad buys for me at garage sales, though. Bet that's pretty funny since I'm kind of shit at school, huh, tutor girl."

I roll my eyes playfully, a smile involuntarily taking over my face.

"Okay, first of all, you're not shit as school, Cole. And second of all, stop calling me that."

"Or what?" His voice drops, shivers covering my spine.

I gulp, my mind racing to convince myself that this isn't real. It's another daydream that will disappear as soon as I wake myself up. Cole's too close, and he's looking at me in a way that I can't understand.

Gold rush, I remind myself. He's not real.

"How have we never talked before, Gracie?" His eyes don't leave mine.

The Sun, being a dynamic star, is constantly changing. At least, that's what NASA says. And I believe them for the most part. For so long, Cole has been this comfortable force in my life, something just out of reach, but always there. As much as I never want that to change, I can't help but think that this is worth the risk. Because just as the Sun, we are also constantly changing.

Cole is propped up by his elbow, his chest in my direction. His scent, as always, is intoxicating and now I'm certain that it's just him.

"I don't know. I guess I've always been too nervous." I confess.

"That's such bullshit. You're like a billion times more interesting than me."

"Cole. You have no idea the effect you have on people." I breath out, blinking slowly as he scans over my face.

Cole's head dips slightly, and he's suddenly close enough that if I were to lean slightly, we would be kissing. His hand reaches to my cheek, my breath catching at the soft touch.

"Gracie." He whispers.

All I can do is nod, answering the question he seemed to be asking.

He brushes his lips against mine, softly, before leaning in fully. And it doesn't feel quite real, that Cole Walter is kissing me. Eighteen years of life, eight of them spent consumed by him when I was so sure he didn't even know I existed. I'd dated, but Cole was always there, a place in my mind just for him.

My eyes flutter shut as I lean into his touch, our lips molded together in a dance. He increases the pressure, tilting my head back with his thumb against my jaw. Cole's tongue teases my lips, and they part to allow him access as he moans softly against my mouth.

I'd never felt like this before, not even with my ex-boyfriend who I had dated for two years. This felt electric, something so overwhelming that my whole body was on fire.

I pull away slightly, needing to remember that it's not real. When Cole goes to kiss me again, I tilt my head toward the floor.

"I- um. I should get going. I'll send you the practice test for the exam next week, okay?"

I stand up and swing my backpack over my shoulder, stepping toward his door and swinging it open.

Part of me feels bad, but I don't want to be another girl on Cole's roster. It's just another crack breaking through the delusion that I've been convincing myself of for years.

Cole's eyes are soft on mine when I raise my head to look at him again.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yeah, I'll see you around, Cole."

I walk out, trying to keep my head held up until I climb inside my car. My forehead rests against the steering wheel as inevitable tears escape me.

It's best to let him go. I would hate to fall for him, only to be crushed when I reach reality. Because falling is magical until that final bone crush, when everything hits at once.

[painted-bees]

Since I've been rotating Raf's mental illness in my mind this month as a way of smoothing my own brain, I've been thinking a lot about the ways his PPD and CPTSD symptoms interact, and how it affects his behaviors.

Firstly, Raf's paranoia isn't commonly accompanied by narcissistic traits. That is to say--he's not especially prone to believing that people have him on their mind all the time. If he walks past two people laughing, it's not his gut instinct to think that they are laughing at him. However, it is certainly his gut instinct to assume that they are laughing at someone.

But, unless they deliberately pause to regard him in an off putting way, his brain isn't gonna jump to the conclusion that he's the topic of their little chortle.

In fact, Raf rarely feels like he is being deliberately belittled by honest remarks when they are simply worded poorly. In some ways, he greatly prefers being called a jackass, to his face, in flat tones--than to receiving sweet, placating platitudes in a kindly tone. No matter how genuine the kindness may be behind the latter, Raf generally tends to interpret it...poorly. It gives him a really bad gut feeling, like they're buttering him up, mincing their words in a shallow attempt to gain his good opinion...all so that he won't suspect them later. Suspect them of what? Who knows. Something bad, something exploitative, something abusive. To him.

Raf doesn't suspect that everyone is out to use or exploit him. He fully believes that most people are capable of not thinking about him at all--even if he is physically present around them, such as in a busy train station. However, he does suspect that everyone who goes out of their way to interact with him, and especially everyone who wants to get to know him only do so in order to use or exploit him. And his basal understanding of human behavior is, generally, that kindness and good manner are most frequently used as tools of manipulation for personal gain rather than as an expression of genuine love and care. And he recognizes that this is only possible as a successful tool of manipulation because, just like him, everyone else wants to be genuinely loved and cared for.

Even his uncle, whom Raf does genuinely loves and trust, is suspected of being as kind and accommodating as he is to Raf only because doing so soothes his uncle's guilt and gives him a moral leg up over the rest of Raf's family. And part of Raf's initial willingness to trust his uncle is that his uncle never really...denies that this is, at the very least, a part of it. And--if that's all Uncle Bill really wanted outta Raf, then that was a perfectly livable arrangement.

Raf's CPTSD, on the other hand, generates the shame that serves as the crux for a lot of his self-critical introspection. Even before his diagnosis, he was harboring a sense that something was really, deeply wrong with him--like he wasn't a real person. And so, it felt radically audacious to assert that he deserved to behave as a real person; which included the right to feel and act upon anger and sadness--and to have those emotions received and treated with any level of respect by those around him. Until his final year at Juilliard, he was kind of in a placid(listless) state of learned helplessness. He'd do what ever he had to do to meet the expectations of his peers and instructors (namely, amphetamines. So much amphetamines.) It was just baaarely enough to get him his degree, and it ran him ragged and beyond resentful. He fully left Juilliard with the mindset of "I'm entering my villain era, I'm fully committed to being a Bad Guy, I am ok with everyone hating me now". And the "bad guy" behavior was just...saying no to stuff he didn't want to do, self-isolating, and outwardly expressing/lashing out when something viscerally upset him.

Which...thanks to the personality disorder, meant he became prone to yelling at people and accusing them of hurting or betraying him when they, in fact, did not. Especially...almost specifically the people closest to him, who cared the most about him and whom he cared the most for. And that's quickly what lead to his diagnosis, which kinda put an end to his 'villain arch'. So now he's back to reckoning with that sense of "something is really, deeply wrong with me", but at least now he has a growing understanding of what that is. And also the notion of "I have the 'bad person' disease--I am a Bad Person if I act on my core suspicions and beliefs, I cannot fucking trust myself, I can't trust my own perception of people or events." And now he's gotta balance that with whole "I deserve to feel safe, comfortable, and respected" alongside the critical notion of "but so does everyone else".

He hates it when people try to get to know him, he is fundamentally mistrustful of people. But at the same time, he has a lot of difficulty balancing his boundaries against the infringement of other people's boundaries--and the root understanding of "Something is wrong with me, I'm the problem, the fact that I think other people are the problem--is part of the problem that is me." is what motivates him to delay acting upon his negative impulses as much as is is able to, and to exercise kindness even when it feels like he's walking directly into a fire.

So, his overall kinda...thing is "I don't trust any of these guys, they clearly want something from me, and if I let them get close enough, they won't care if they have to hurt me to get it[PPD] but I'm a fundamentally busted person with a fucked up perspective and thus it is actually safer if I prioritize their comfort over my own[CPTSD] within certain parameters[therapy]"

and, idk...the big flashing red "ISOLATE, ISOLATE, ISOLATE" sign shows up in there on a frequent enough occasion that he just...has no real friends, despite a billion "good" acquaintances.

Despite all his mistrust and suspicions, the feelings of being fundamentally unlovable for willfully/protectively limiting the range of his 'usefulness', his terminally pessimistic outlook on the nature of human beings--he craves so tremendously to be loved and cared for and held and reassured in such a way and to such an extent that could never be fully sated, I am sure. But he couldn't stand to receive it from someone he can't believe in.

Margie accidentally hack speedran his CPTSD coping mechanisms so hard that she clipped through his paranoia until the collision error launched her into Trusted Person status. And he's just mostly confused and a bit anxious over how it all happened so fast.

[that's a joke...kinda]

[princelylove]

To be honest with you Your Highness, I have always felt afraid of Bruno for some reasons. When I rewatched part 5 with my best friend, they kept commenting how hot he was and all, I tried to imagine him but he scares me. I feel like he hides so much that sometimes it slips away, I would be totally afraid of staying near him even if he was smiling

Your fear is warranted, but displeases him greatly. It stresses him out, I should say. He's never displeased with his darling amore, but he'd much rather have you welcome him with loving arms than freeze when he so much as breathes in your presence.

The foundation of Bruno- of Bruno Bucciarati- is the fact that he is a good man. End of sentence, end of thought.

He's just trying to help. He loves you, he's just trying to take care of you. The rest of the team loves Bruno- he's great! They wouldn't be here if it weren't for him- he's not the type to do some crazy shit randomly, you're probably just mixing reality and whatever nightmares you're having from joining the mafia.

You like Bruno, the husband, but dislike Bucciarati, the mafioso, surely. Bruno's true self- the mix of both, Bruno Bucciarati- is not something easy to figure out at a distance, because he doesn't like the idea of his darling, or anyone else for that matter, looking into him beyond how he presents himself.

You're not really encouraged to look into mafiosi in general. Especially not a capo. Don't snoop, for your own safety's sake.

Despite strongly disliking liars, Bucciarati can lie through his teeth and sleep soundly at night. Bruno, however, feels a sort of discomfort in lying to those he holds in high regards- it's sort of cruel. The least he can do is be honest.

Most of the time, he is. Bruno is not a quick thinker, nor is he innately creative, making him a just-alright type of liar. His lies have to be thought of in advance- he wishes conversation was more like combat. Combat is easy, you survive and you protect, at all costs. Conversation is a mental battle he never trained for- he's a sociable man, but he's been surviving off of letting other people fill in the gaps for him. There's also the fact that the people Bruno finds himself interested in aren't to be lied to.

Bruno has a type, actually. I think most yanderes that fall into Bruno's niche (Jotaro, Risotto) would want someone that needs them. Someone smaller, someone weaker, someone that isn't capable of living without someone else. Of course you don't have to hit every box for Bruno to take interest, he could fall for someone taller, but he can't help but think the size difference with a smaller darling is oh-so-adorable. He has this habit of getting as close as possible and looking down at the both of your shoes, which, he could always just be checking his footing, but it's apparent he's gauging your size difference when he's only doing it with you.

Bruno prefers someone that is only pretending to be independent, or is just openly dependent. Bruno can only survive if he feels needed. Being loved is debatable, you'll always love the hand that feeds you, in a way. You can fall in love down the line once you get over these fears, Bruno's willing to prove that he's the safest man you'll ever meet.

Of course, if this isn't mutual, it's creepy as hell. The real reason that Bruno frightens you, besides from everything else I've described as off about him, is the fact that he does not, and will never, respect your boundaries. He's constantly pushing, whether you want it yet or not.

Bruno is not a man that will ever bend or break. There's nothing that can deter him once he has his mind on doing something- he shares such logic with plenty of other yanderes, but Bruno is a special case, because of his willpower.

Bruno lost his willpower before canon takes place. He has no motive to move elsewhere within the famiglia, his main motivation to get out of bed in the morning is caring for his little family- his famigliola, as he's tried to tell you- and honestly, majority of them are independent types and too old to be coddled. And even then, they're kind of odd, his youngest acts like the oldest and his oldest acts like the youngest, he has no idea how to handle them sometimes. Fathers are only good for spoiling and disciplining, not really any of the actual raising part. You do fun things with daddy, he doesn't make sure you're eating actual good dinners- that's where his darling comes in!

To Bruno, fighting meeting Giorno was like getting a second wind. He was in a massive rut emotionally, and was losing the sense of justice he clung to. Meeting his darling, after that. . . it was like breathing air for the first time. Regaining his soul.

So he can't just fold. It isn't over until it's over, and it's only over when he goes back to dust.

Bruno doesn't really understand what he's doing wrong. He has everything he needs to be appealing. He takes care of himself, he knows how to speak to people, he can provide both financially and emotionally, really, what is it?

When Bruno finds himself starting to feel agitated instead of hopeful you're coming around, then you may be afraid. Perhaps a little fear is good for you, long-term.

[shu-box-puns]

I never would have given you to them; not for anything

(Tsu’tey x Reader)

Part 1 -> Next Chapter 

If you prefer to read on Ao3, you can find the fic here!

Summary: The RDA unknowingly revives a traitor through Project Phoenix. 

Word Count: 11,251

Reader uses they/them pronouns.

NOTE: The term 'Zaza' is a gender neutral way to address a parental figure.

Connecting to the Tree of Souls was always bittersweet for Tsu'tey.

Eywa was a kind mother. For a few short moments, he could be reunited with everyone he had previously lost. He could ask Eytukan for guidance on being Olo’eyktan, or speak with Sylwanin when his grief threatened to overwhelm him.

And other times, Eywa would gift him a glimpse into a vision that could’ve been his reality, if events had played out differently. 

The phantom of HomeTree was booming with life. Those who lived there were distant and concealed from view by the colossal roots of the great tree or simply occupying the foliage beyond its shade. Tsu’tey found himself sitting upon a log, his knife in hand which he was using to shape an arrow head.

A fire roared at his feet, meat cooking over the flames whilst the joyous yells of children darted to and fro behind his turned back. He couldn’t help but smile softly to himself, reminded of the early years in Spider’s development when the boy had finally grown large enough to comfortably fit into an exo pack. Tsu’tey had been delighted, eager to take his son from the confines of the demon compound and let him loose on the clan.

Spider took to the outside like an ikran to the sky. Staring in wonder as Tsu’tey carried him into the heart of the village. Na’vi of all stations had cooed at him, offering Tsu’tey honest congratulations even if their eyes had held poorly concealed hesitance at the toddler giggling against his chest. 

Within the hour, Spider had become fast friends with Jake’s children - Eywa help him - and was gleefully dirtying his loincloth as they tumbled and played. 

“He has grown significantly.” A voice to his left suddenly commented, ripping Tsu’tey from his private musings. He made to turn to whoever was sat with him, but some untold force kept his gaze glued to the arrowhead he was carving. 

“Children tend to.” Tsu’tey responded easily, the English falling thick and accented off of his tongue. 

His secret companion merely hummed, leaning into his side. Tsu’tey caught sight of blue skin in his peripheral. Five fingered hands falling to demon style clothed knees. His expression tightened. Confusion swirling beneath his skin.

“A mighty warrior in the making.” The stranger praised, undercurrents of pride lacing their tone. “I am glad his aim has greatly improved.”

Tsu’tey lifted his gaze from the arrowhead as the words registered. His questioning response was halted by the sudden absence of the clan chatter and the crackling of the flames at his feet. His eyes flickered, expressing softening as he realised the scenery had changed.

Now, he and his companion sat on a tree branch overlooking the Omaticaya flight range. Targets lined the far perimeter, whilst na’vi of all ages stood in uniformed rows at increasing distances from the targets, their bows drawn. Tsu’tey’s gaze immediately zeroed in on Spider.

Here he was about twelve, Neteyam alongside him as the two practised in companionable silence. Despite being a full year younger, Neteyam easily towered over the older boy, his frame lean and long, whilst Spider had grown strong and thick in the shoulders. His son held his bow with ease, the strain long having lessened with hours of practice.

The presence at his side had shrunk somehow. The warmth no longer reached his shoulder. A soft brush of skin to his lower bicep indicating that the na’vi who had sat with him had shrunk to a more human stature.

Tsu’tey could not place who this was. They did not sound like Grace Augustine who possessed both avatar and human forms on the off chance she visited him in the tree. Nor had he befriended any of the scientists who possessed avatar bodies.

A celebratory whoop drew his attention back to Spider, who was receiving awed high fives from Neteyam. Glancing to the target, Tsu’tey swelled with pride at the three perfect bullseyes. 

He blinked, and he was in the old shack. Although in his present the stolen compound was overrun with wildlife and had fallen into disrepair, here, it looked well preserved. As fresh and disorganised as it had been the night the humans left for good. 

It looked homely. 

Lived in. 

He was sitting on a bunk much too small for his large frame with a baby carrier strapped across his chest. His son was nowhere to be seen in this particular vision, but as always, he felt no sense of panic within Eywa’s care. He simply observed the small room around him, noting that the presence at his side had disappeared with the flight range.

The messy sheets he sat on told of a good night’s rest. The military boots neatly lined up by the door and the camouflage jacket hanging on the back of it, reassuring him that whoever he was visiting was close by. 

Tucked under the window, the desk was a mess of coffee stained reports and various pens. Even from the other side of the room, he could make out the shakily written na’vi phrases repeated over several pages. He’d never seen his language written out before, since his people had no use for it, but somehow he instinctively knew the phrases.

Oel ngati kameie.

I see you.

Three words his mate had been practising behind his back. A secret he was very much aware of, but content to allow them to figure out. 

The sound of the door opening drew his attention from the desk, and he found said mate looming in the doorway, their son cradled to their chest. They looked exhausted but proud of themselves. Spider was sound asleep, nestled into their tanktop, with one chubby fist clenched tightly around the courting necklace Tsu’tey had presented them with several moons ago. 

“I finally got him to drop off.” His mate sighed happily as they stepped further into the room and quietly pulled the door closed behind them.

Tsu’tey could only hum. Greedily drinking in the sight of his mate and son. Gazing at the face that had been snatched from his too early, and the youth and innocence of Spider. He was sixteen now, years past infancy, but still Tsu’tey’s little boy. Whilst his mate was frozen in time. Forever held by Eywa.

“You good big guy?” The use of that ridiculous nickname snapped him back to the present. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

His lips stretched into a tight smile. The irony. 

“I am fine.” He insisted. His english heavily accented and rusty from disuse. Since Spider had become fully fluent in na’vi, he hardly ever had to use the demon tongue. But somehow, Eywa always switched them back to that language, despite having learnt plenty of na’vi through him.

Their proud grin dropped a fraction, their eyebrows drawing together. “Are you lying to me?”

He scoffed. “Olo’eyktan’s do not lie.” He said simply.

“You aren’t Olo’eyktan here.” They argued. Approaching him on quiet feet. 

Feeling called out, Tsu’tey had to work hard to keep his ears from flicking back in guilt. Instead, he chose not to respond as his mate stepped into his space. Their scent wafted over him as they expertly manoeuvred the slumbering infant into the net tied across Tsu’tey’s chest. The motion was practised; familiar in a way his mate hadn’t had time to master.

Spider went easily. Instinctively curling into his father’s warmth and finding something new to latch onto. This time, Tsu’tey was not fast enough to keep his son from grabbing onto one of his braids. Even in sleep, Spider yanked hard on the braided lock of hair, making Tsu’tey wince. His mate chuckled softly, reaching up to carefully untangle Spider’s fist, to which the infant immediately curled his fingers around their index instead. 

The scene was domestic. Something he had mourned when his mate had passed.

“You look tired.” His mate stated, those eyes studying his expression. 

Tsu’tey could only nod. What use was lying to a memory anyway?

“I am.”

“You should rest.” 

They titled their head, and Tsu’tey knew this was a battle he had no hope of winning. “Spider is waiting for you.” They said.

Carefully, they raised their free hand to hold his cheek, their expression worried. He leaned into the touch, savouring the warmth of their tiny hand against his cool skin.

His words were slow to come back to him. But they waited patiently, idly tracing the stars of his freckles as he gathered himself, his breathing uneven. “No. I want to stay here, with you.” 

There was a power behind their words now. A greater knowledge they should not be privy to. Tsu’tey knew this wasn’t his mate speaking to him anymore. Despite looking and sounding like his human, this was Eywa gently nudging him. Reminding him that he had responsibilities to attend to and a son waiting beyond her realm.

He followed his mate’s nod towards the window where he found a sixteen year old Spider standing patiently at the treeline, looking longingly towards the compound. He knew without looking down that the infant was gone from the sling at his chest. His son wore his exopack and was wringing his hands, head darting too and fro in search of someone. Rocking on the balls of his feet as often did when unsettled.

Tearing his gaze from his son, Tsu’tey found and held eye contact with the Great Mother disguised as his lost mate. “Will you allow him to visit today?” He asked.

“He will See soon.” Eywa replied in their voice, untold power building behind every word. 

His mate’s hands were small but strong as they took him by the wrists and helped him rise from his seat on the bed. “He is waiting.” They informed him, gently guiding him away from the desk littered in papers and towards the closed door. Tsu’tey’s heart ached at the familiar gesture. This part was always the hardest.

“He misses them.” He told Eywa and she could only nod in acknowledgement. “He watches their video logs.” He insisted, stomach sinking at the thought of his mate not knowing how badly Spider loved and missed them. That they might believe they had faded from the child’s memory, when in truth they’d always played such a crucial role. “He asks about them, always. Demanding memories, facts. Anything.”

“He will See soon.” Eywa repeated, and Tsu’tey knew she understood. 

They squeezed his hand and he realised he was standing before the door with the boots neatly lined up beside it. He glanced at them one last time, absorbing all their little details and committing them to memory. His mate smiled at him one last time, before they dropped his hands and stepped back. 

“I know.”

“You will See soon.” Eywa assured him, but Tsu’tey was no Tsahik and did not understand how to interpret the phrase. So he simply nodded.

>_&lt;

They said no more as he raised his hand to push the door open, and in kind, Tsu’tey could only nod as his words got lost in his throat. Instead of responding, he turned and stepped out of the bedroom into the hall. 

The sounds of the forest came back to him slowly. He felt the change of the humidity as Eywa gently returned him to his body. He sat crossed legged under the glowing vines of the Tree of Souls, his heartbeat still pounding in time to the gentle pulses of the ancient tree. Animals moved in the bushes behind him, uncaring of his presence and content to go about their evening. 

He felt the familiar dry, flaky sensation of mourning paint running from the top of his brow down the line of his nose to his chin. His bullet scars felt stiff against his skin with every deep breath. Whilst a body leant into his side. Small and warm in a way that na’vi were not. 

Slowly, Tsu’tey peeled his eyelids open and glanced down to find Spider curled into him. His exopack was digging uncomfortably into Tsu’tey’s ribs, but he didn’t care. Now sixteen, his boy leaned into his side and had dragged Tsu’tey’s arm out of his lap to rest across his back. Keeping him safe and secure whilst his father communed with the ancestors. 

His tail swayed happily at the adorable sight. 

Sensing a shift in him, Spider groggily raised his head from Tsu’tey’s rib cage. His eyes were unfocused as he lifted his heavy head, only to find Tsu’tey already looking at him. He blinked slowly, drawing in a deep breath as he stretched and sat up. 

<”Who was it today?”> Spider asked in fluent na’vi, his tone heavy with sleep. 

Tsu’tey felt the corner of his mouth stretch upwards into an adoring smile. His boy was so precious. <”Zaza.”> He replied simply, to which Spider returned his smile. 

<”It is late.”> Spider agreed, to which Tsu’tey playfully ruffled his braids, ears pricked at the boy’s mischievous grin. Carefully, Tsu’tey reached up and disconnected his kuru from the tree, sending a prayer of thanks to Eywa for her gift.

<”And where did you end up going?”>

<”The old shack.”> Tsu’tey replied simply, reaching up to disconnect his tswin from the Tree of Souls. <”They were trying to convince you to go to bed.”>

<”We should return to the village.”> 

<”Only if you carry me.”> Spider stated, lifting his arms expectantly to Tsu’tey who rolled his eyes.

<”You have been hanging around Lo’ak too much. So whiny.”>

<”You are old enough to carry yourself.”>

<”But it’s late!”> Spider retaliated. 

<”Don’t let him hear you say that or he’ll become ten times worse.”> Considering the boy was Jake’s son, Tsu’tey didn’t doubt it. 

>_<

The last thing you remembered was lying down in a link unit. 

The smell of silicone had been poisonously strong in the tight space as one of the scientists closed the lid on you with a firm click. Your heart had been pounding, your plan to escape and meet up with Jake plaguing your mind. Distracting you from the half assed explanation of why Selfridge had ordered all military personnel into the link rooms.

You weren’t sure if you made it out of Hell’s Gate that night, let alone if Trudy had managed to drive you to the secret compound. If you’d been caught, or if your squad had noticed your absence. 

Not that any of it mattered now, considering you were in outer space and the Battle for The Tree of Souls had ended fifteen years prior. 

Now, you stared blankly at the pre-recorded video of yourself in that same laboratory. In the video, you were decked out in your usual, military attire and were horribly explaining what was going on. Floating in zero gravity, your hand - now blue and much, MUCH bigger than you were used to - kept you in place before the monitor with an unnervingly tight grip.

The you of the past wasn’t focused on their task. You could tell from the shift of their eyes as marines moved around them behind the camera. In a similar situation, your nerves were also all over the place. Your eyes were constantly darting around the small bunk room as your tail thrashed. So many enemies in such a small place.

It had been a fucking shock to wake up disoriented on a small hospital bed with a heart monitor beeping away in the background. Only for a massive, blue forehead to dart into your line of sight, dragging with it, a pair of large, unblinking eyes. You screamed, flailing weakly at the enormous bald head of Lyle Wainfleet.

You recalled blinding rage in your most recent memory of this man.

He had grinned at you, yelling loudly, “morning Private!” 

You had punched him, that past anger carrying over as you shoved him away with an additional well placed kick to the stomach and a ferocious hiss. Movement in the corner of your vision kept you from following him down, intending to choke the life out of his stupid, grinning face.

Alexander had been quick to grip your bicep, holding on tightly. He was smiling at you. And it was fucking disorientating to see his face on a na’vi body, his eyes too far apart and his nose flatter than you were used to. It stunned you into stillness.

On the floor, Lyle had chuckled good naturedly and complimented you on your improved strength. 

You hadn’t responded, your eyes widening as you took in your reflection in the one way window. It was you, but it also wasn’t you staring back. 

On the monitor, the human version of you scratched the back of their neck, clearly reading off of a script to the side of the camera, blurting some bullshit about the RDA storing your memories and implanting them in an avatar embryo. Your expression remained neutral as you glanced down to past-you’s throat. 

Mostly hidden beneath the hem of their camouflage shirt, you caught sight of a pretty little choker, the polished beads catching the laboratory lights. It was simple in design, layered three times tall with long, brown beads as the centrepiece, framed either side by carefully selected circular red beads.

Subconsciously, your blue hand reached to your own throat, frowning at the naked skin only for your fingers to catch on the metal chain of your dog tag. It sent a stab of phantom pain through your chest, which you were quick to rub away.

You remembered who had given it to you. What he had been to you. But you didn’t know how it had ended. If the RDA had resurrected you for this stupid little project, then chances were, the human version of you was dead. 

You had no idea who had died during the Battle of The Tree of Souls - clearly a lot of you judging by the number of recoms the RDA had paid for. There was no solid knowledge on how far the RDA had won, or how much of Pandora they had destroyed. For all you knew, everyone could be dead. The Omaticaya clan wiped off the face of the planet. 

The windows of your little bunk room overlooked the vast embryo tanks of the recoms. As you half-listened to the video, you watched a trio of three scientists carefully extracting the body, of who you recognised to be the na’vi version of Mansk, from the closest tank. They took great care in cleaning the embryonic fluid from his airways before flying the body out of sight through an open door. 

/Remember Private,/ the video stated, drawing your attention back once more, /the mission is not over./ There was something unreadable in human you’s eyes, their rage momentarily broadcasted across the screen. /Fight hard. Make me proud./ 

They couldn’t see you, but you found yourself nodding anyway. 

Those words gave you a direction. Past you didn’t believe the fight was over, so you just had to pick up where you left off. And to do that, you needed to get back into the forest.

>_<

The RDA had made special uniforms for all the recoms and required you to be dressed and ready to move into the base upon landing. Their first mistake was willingly handling you a gun. Evidently, they had never recognised you as a traitor. You’d died with them still believing you were loyal. Now, you would exploit that weakness.

For now, you decided to play nice until they willingly unleashed you into the forest. You made jokes with Lyle, established yourself as one of the team. Laughing with the other recoms about escaping death, making wild accusations about what you’d do the next time you saw that traitor; Jake Sully. 

It was easy. As it always had been. 

As if nothing had changed. Like you were back in school and you’d all come back from the summer having had growth spurts and been up to god knows what.

As a squad, you fitted together effortlessly. Falling into a routine of sleeping in the dorms, getting up early for drills and training, only to spend the evenings goofing around. The recom bodies were years younger, practically brand new, so the energy required for such shenanigans was effortless. 

Within a week, it felt like nothing had changed. The squad was blissfully unaware of what you had done in your past life behind their backs. To them, you were still their comrade. 

Initially, you’d attempted to keep your distance.

The forest called to you. It’s pull even stronger now with the additional na’vi instincts, and the small hallways of Bridgehead that were clearly not built with you in mind. You felt out of place in its tiny, box-like layout. 

Your comrades weren’t too sneaky in trying to ease your nerves and welcome you into their chaotic escapades. 

Lyle had always been an overbearing extrovert, chomping at the bit to challenge you into pushing yourself harder and harder during drills. 

Mansk, in his own quiet way, insisted on dragging you to the kitchen every mealtime to assist him with cooking. He stated that he had no idea what to do with the new Pandoran ingredients required for their recom bodies, but you could tell he was bullshitting you to keep you out of your head. It worked; mostly. 

Whilst Z-Dog had taken it upon herself to make sure your shooting skills were up to scratch - they were. And had sparked many competitions out in the shooting range.

Even the colonel seemed to have caught on. And that man was in no form of the imagination a family man. He was a leader. Your boss. The man you had to impress or risk getting killed. But recently, he’s been acting like some weird version of a father figure. Offering silent nods and backhanded compliments in his usual condescending tone whilst observing your training with your comrades. It would always be paired with a playful smack to the shoulder or a rough ruffle of your hair whilst the squad sniggered.

It was easy to remember why you’d stuck with them for so long. Because despite their missions and the people they killed, they had been your family on Pandora since you’d woken up from cryo sleep. A reluctant one. A ragtag bunch of trigger happy idiots, but they’d always watched out for you.

You also knew that they would kill you if they ever found out about your little personal mission. They made you feel safe within Bridgehead, but you knew they would turn on you instantly. 

Lyle wouldn’t hesitate to cuff you and drag you to the colonel. Whilst Quaritch would go real quiet, ordering you to hand over your gun which he would use to shoot you on the spot. Z-Dog would make it look like an accident, whilst Mansk would hide behind his sunglasses and deal with business himself, stealing your dog tags to take back to the colonel.

It was imperative you remained vigilant. If anyone remembered or found out, you were fucked. So you had to get out. Fast. At the first opportunity. You could figure it out from there.

>_<

The moment the samson chopper landed in the undergrowth of the rainforest, you leapt out. Lyle was hot on your tail, peeling away from your side to secure the perimeter as the helicopter finished landing. 

You didn’t bother pretending to be scoping the landscape. 

The hum of the forest had grown steadily stronger throughout the trip, and now it slid through you like a melody. Calling to you more strongly than you’d ever felt. You took in greedy lungfuls of the damp, humid forest air. The scents of dew and vegetation invaded your nose, a world away from the canned air the recoms were forced to breathe in Bridgehead. Your ears swivelled towards every little sound, tail swaying to show content despite the mission ahead. Pandora was as gorgeous as she had ever been. The dappled sunlight peeking through the trees as the exotic fragrance of the plants filled the air. 

As a human, it had never been this pretty. Behind an exo pack, you had never been able to smell the world, whilst the sights had been smudged by the acrylic screen. 

This was freeing on an entirely new level.

Someone smacked you upside the head, abruptly shattering the nostalgia of finally returning to the forest. You choked, spinning in place and immediately stood to attention under the Colonel’s unimpressed glare. “What are you playing at Private?” He barked.

You could see the rest of the squad pretending not to look your way. Z-Dog and Walker had promptly turned their backs, clinging to each other as if it was the funniest thing in existence. 

“Apologies sir, I got excited.” You replied sheepishly. "Needed to stretch my legs."

“Focus!” Quaritch stressed with an eye roll. 

“Yes, sir.”

He nodded once before motioning to the others and leading the way into the undergrowth. 

You fell into line, gun aimed on your surroundings as the squad moved further and further away from base. 

Within the hour, the squad stumbled upon a broken AMP suit collapsed in front of an abandoned compound. The building looked like one of the remote link compounds the scientists used to use during avatar exertions. What it was doing so far away from its assigned location, you had no idea.

Quaritch immediately issued orders for the site to be secured. Whilst Z-Dog investigated the building, the rest of the squad fanned out into the clearing. Half went to search the undergrowth, whilst you remained nearby, eyes more focused on the compound than the forest.

The colonel and Wainfleet remained close to the AMP suit, quietly analysing the corpse impaled within the ribcage of the dismantled robot. 

You swept close on your return pass, ears pricked as Quaritch glared daggers at the skull. Peering over his shoulder, your eyes widened at the pair of na'vi arrows jutting out of moss covered bone and the scar of a viperwolf scratch carved into the skull.

Quaritch's corpse.

And whoever had got him had been merciless in finishing him off.

The sight made you uneasy. Reminding you of the threats Pandora possessed. You were glad when a shout from the forest and the call for backup drew you from the suit.

No one knew how long the kids had been there. Whether they’d gotten curious and followed from the moment the samson touched down, or if they had been lingering around the shack. Either way, the petrified scream of the youngest girl had drawn the rest of your squad to the scene. 

There were three na’vi kids in total, and one human child. All held hostage by a recom, whilst Quaritch interrogated each of them. You watched the scene from the sidelines, assuming Quaritch would decide they weren’t worth it and let them go. 

But when the na’vi boy swore at him and Quaritch grinned with a simple, ”you’re his.”

Jake’s, you realised. 

Your heart began to pound as you rounded the rear of the group, eyes narrowed as you took in the side profile of the boy. His too small eyes, the slope of his jaw, the fifth finger on each hand. At a glance, a full blooded na’vi. But you’d been around avatars long enough to pick out the little imperfections. The broader set to his shoulders, the lower position of his kuru that indicated human blood somewhere in the line. 

Quaritch was precise in his motions. Taking the kid’s kuru in hand to begin interrogating him. The colonel was rough with him. Spitting sharp commands before yanking his knife from his thigh strap. The boy’s eyes widened a fraction. You saw the raw fear swimming within them as he stared blankly up at the snarling colonel. Refusing to back down. Refusing to waver. 

Quaritch’s expression tightened as he raised the knife a fraction. Logically, you knew the first strike would be a fake, to scare the boy into spilling information with minimal effort. You were lurching forward half a step, ears fanning wide in alarm before you could stop yourself. 

The motion of that knife froze mid air, a testament to the Colonel’s reflexes as his burning eyes flickered to you. You made an effort to smooth out your microexpressions, hands limp at your side instead of reaching for a weapon like you so desperately wanted to. Something in the kid’s face had made something tight and protective flare up between your ribs, and the Colonel had noticed. 

Quaritch’s gaze was stern as shook his head in disappointment. “Don’t go getting soft on me, Private.” He reminded, grasp shifting on the kid’s kuru. “I know you had a soft spot for them back in the day, but none of that bullshit now.”

“Sorry sir.” You grit out, but didn’t retreat. He glared at you, you maintained steady eye contact until Wainfleet pulled Quaritch’s attention to the older na’vi girl. He had her fingers splayed for the colonel to see, chuckling at her five fingers. 

Their conversation quickly dissolved into the back of your mind as Quaritch handed the na’vi boy off, putting blessed distance between the kid and his knife. 

Tracking the Colonel’s movements as he approached the older girl, you found your attention drawn by the human boy. You blinked at his intense gaze, at the storm of unexplainable emotions swimming behind his eyes that you felt dizzy just looking at him. Despite his face being locked away behind an exopack, his gaze was no less piercing. He seemed to see you. 

The squint of his eyebrows seemed to suggest he saw you. Not a soldier. Not a recom. Just you. As if he could see beneath the scientifically created body to the memory chip beneath, to what remained of your soul.

But that was probably just you projecting.

To distract yourself from the tightening of your chest, you also studied him as your comrades kept interrogating the children. Their voices grew distant as you inspected the blue stripes painted across tanned skin. The traditional Omaticayan weaving style of his armband as well as the songcord attached to the hem of his loincloth. 

Your eyes caught on the necklace at his throat. A style that matched the one your human body wore in the video. Down to the brown and red beads. The familiar weaving style. Even at this distance, you recognised Tsu’tey’s handiwork. 

And whilst it reassured and relieved you that he was still alive, that somehow, in some way, this child had a piece of him, you were confused. How had he gotten his hands on one of Tsu’tey’s pieces?

Then he steeled himself. Quaritch’s bulk warmed your back, his shadow falling over your left arm. In a shockingly gentle tone, Quaritch asked for the boy’s name, and surprisingly, he gave it.

”Spider Socorro.” He blurted in strained english. 

Your ear flickered back at the colonel’s sharp inhale. “Miles?” 

Spider straightened, chin lifted in defiance. “Nobody calls me that.”

Quaritch’s expression was unreadable. He didn’t bother to respond and stepped away to talk into his neck piece. He didn’t go far and simply turned his back, speaking to Ardmore as the squad shifted uneasily. 

The kids hissed as the recoms began moving them towards the compound where the shuttle would more easily be able to let down the ropes. Your stomach tightened at the thought of dragging them back with you. To know how they felt and be unable to offer sympathy.

Quaritch motioned to the children. ”Keep hold of ‘em. Shuttle will be here in ten.”

Your stomach dropped. Not the shuttle. Not yet. You couldn’t stomach the idea of going back to Bridgehead after this. After such a short taste of freedom. 

”Colonel.” You said loudly, making the man pause midstep. He levelled you with an unreadable look as you struggled to find your voice. “These kids are useless to us.”

As soon as the words left your lips, his expression visibly shut off and you knew you would not be able to get through to him. “I’m not gonna repeat myself, Private.” He snapped, pulling rank to put you in your place. You squared up to him. Chin lifted.

A distant bird call had your ears pricking. It was short. A burst of a sound. It had the kids straightening, all their ears fanning towards the sound. 

The bird called again. That one note echoing through the trees.

Shifting uneasily, your eyes followed the direction it had come from, momentarily breaking eye contact. Quaritch smirked as if he’d won a great battle. “Take the na’vi boy.” He ordered, motioning to the kid who was promptly handed over, and then raised his voice to the squad. “Into defensive positions!”

The group fell into formation as the sun began its nightly cycle behind the moon, bringing with it a rain storm. The boy’s neural whip between your fingers quickly grew saturated, making your weak grip slip with every sharp movement he would make. That bird call did not grow distant or stop. In fact, you could’ve sworn it was getting closer.

There was a moment of stillness. The forest holding its breath as the recoms kept whispering to each other, kept moving noisily through the undergrowth. Blind to the silent warning. 

You held your breath, going unnaturally still as the boy in front of you did the same.

There was a cut off shout. An explosion of movement near the main body of the group.

Keeping your position, your head snapped towards the sound. Mouth going dry at the na’vi arrow protruding from Fike’s skull. It had embedded itself into his eye socket, almost straight through.

Whatever was making that sound had clearly found the squad. And it wasn’t pleased.

As the group erupted into chaos, you saw your chance. Loosening your grip on the kid’s kuru, you slowly stepped back, praying the steady movements would not draw that hunter’s eye to your form. The kid spun to face you, wrists bound, looking wide eyed and terrified. 

You raised your hands in surrender, head dipping. <”Get out of here.”> You hissed, nodding to the trees. 

His ears fanned wide as a satellite. Momentarily frozen in time. Eyes studying your own for the trick.

A gun went off at his back, snapping him out of it. More arrows were fired and more recoms died. 

He turned his back to you, and with a burst of speed began shepherding his little sister towards the treeline. The girl went easily, grabbing at his bound wrists and dragging him away. 

You kept your attention on their backs, hand hanging close to your gun in case someone turned their attention on you. 

The recoms were dying in disorganised clusters. The smart ones like Wainfleet and Z-Dog had already taken cover behind trees as the onslaught of arrows threw everyone else out of formation, causing them to scramble for cover. It gave you a sick sense of satisfaction. 

A shout drew your attention. 

Walker had the older girl by her kuru after she’d tried to make a break for it with Spider. She struggled as she yanked her back, her gun useless in her focus on keeping hold of her. 

Your gaze narrowed. Your rifle was in your hands before you could think to check if anyone was looking. The trigger was smooth under your finger. And with a light squeeze the machine roared to life and shot a hole through the tree to her left. 

Walker shrieked, hand spasming in fear as she instinctively let go of the girl’s neural whip. Spider was quick to grab her arm and run away, whilst an arrow found its mark in the recom’s chest. She collapsed in a heap. Dead on impact.

You grimaced. 

The rain muffled your footsteps as you carefully retreated into the shadows of the trees. Thankfully, the squad was too preoccupied to notice your silent escape. 

You felt like a traitor for withdrawing into the forest quietly. Which was funny considering that’s what you were. Your ears were pricked and your body low. Eywa must have wanted you to succeed because no arrow pierced your back. 

The screaming from the small clearing had begun to die down now, but was quickly replaced by the sound of a machine gun going off. Definitely Mansk’s hand, he had always been quick to react in any situation. You quickened your pace, knowing the distance those things could reach. 

The aim was to get as much distance between you and the squad as possible. Then, you’d tear off any and all equipment that would hinder your survival out in the forest until you stumbled across a clan and could ask for uturu. The word and its meaning came to you from a distant memory. A simpler time when Grace had been ranting about some new discovery she’d observed out in the field whilst you’d simply been trying to microwave your dinner. 

One of the explosions went off a little too close to you. Making your pace falter as your head snapped up to watch the branches above burst into flames. You squinted as a figure got thrown clean off by the blast. They seemed to collide with every branch and bush in existence on the way down, screaming the whole way.

<”SPIDER!”> Yelled the older girl from before, appearing over the lip of the branch but not daring to jump after him.

Instinctively, you leapt forward, gun falling back on its strap as your arms came up to catch the falling kid. He crashed into your embrace with a punched out wheeze. Blood oozed from many cuts, whilst his back was warm to the touch, not burnt, but still caught by the flames. 

Another explosion went off, spurring you back into motion. You tried to set the kid down, but he groaned painfully, clutching at your bullet proof vest as his legs failed to hold his weight. 

“Shit.” You cursed under your breath. Glancing back to the branch, you realised the girl was still there. Still watching your every move. And still way too close to Quaritch and his squad. To the inbound airship. 

Shifting the kid so he was supported by one of your arms against your body, you strained to relieve your feet of the heavy duty avatar boots. The laces were slippery from the rain, slithering out of your grasp and making you growl lowly to yourself. It felt like hours, but it could’ve only been seconds before you were barefoot, your shoes and socks discarded in the undergrowth. 

”Hold on tight!” You instructed the kid, who dutifully wound his shaking legs around your ribcage and hooked his arms around your neck. You supported his back with one arm whilst you scrambled to begin climbing back up the hill he’d just tumbled down.

The soil was loose from the rain. The bushes offering no firm support due to your weight, their roots easily giving way if you dared hold onto them for support. 

You hadn’t climbed anything in this body yet. With the base possessing stairs, and your memories of climbing trees locked away in a past life, there was no real need to. And yet, it came easily to this body. As if it had been born to scale the trees of the Pandoran rainforest despite being grown by aliens in a test tube. 

The girl was quick to grab the back of your bullet proof vest once you were high enough. Heaving you up onto the branch with her whole body thrown back. Curling your toes into the uneven bark, you swayed in place, tail compensating for your shit balance. ”We need to move.” You insisted, once again readjusting your grip on the shivering child in your arms.

She nodded dutifully. ”This way.” You kept a hand on her bicep to steady her as she took off down the branch, leading you away from the gunfire. 

With practised ease, she reached the end of the branch and smoothly dropped to the forest floor before scrambling away. You were slower in following, your body protesting the intense movements before your knees groaned at the sloppy landing. To his credit, Spider didn’t complain as the jerky ride, his eyes half closed behind his mask. 

You pushed through the bushes to find the three na’vi kids waiting by some ikran. Eying the beasts wearily, you slowed your pace, listening to the older girl reassure her siblings with soft words at your approach.

You needed to be quick. The owner of those arrows would be returning for their kids soon. And whether or not it was Jake, they’re bound to kill you on sight without checking your face.

”He’s wounded. You must get him to the Tsahik quickly.” You explained as you approached, dropping into a crouch to set Spider down gently at the kids’ feet. He protested again, putting up a valiant fight to keep a hold of you, but you were stronger than him. Your touch was firm as you removed his limbs from you and sat him down.

Kiri was quick to drop to his level, frowning hard at his bloodied appearance. Feeling sorry for the wounded kid, you dared to take a couple of extra seconds pulling out a knife from your belt to cut him free.

He pouted as he rubbed the circulation back into his wrists. Those piercing eyes darting all over your face.

You turned to leave, but the youngest kid was quick to waddle up to your side, her bound wrists extended. ”Can you cut me loose too?”

”I /really/ need to go.” You reply softly, before cutting her loose anyway.

You shifted back, only for the older pair to immediately extend their arms expectantly. You audibly groaned, before reaching for the boy since he was closest. 

”Zaza?” Spider croaked, making your brows furrowed at the odd word. Around you, the older kids had gone unnaturally still. <”Is that you?”>

”Zaza?” You repeated, finding the word felt odd on your tongue. It sparked a distant memory, of a late night sprawled on a bunk with someone beside you. Someone tall and distracted. The memory brought with it a sense of dread; a distant threat. You discarded that train of thought before it could distract you for too long.

<”It can’t be.”> The na’vi girl commented, and now it was her turn to begin studying you. 

”I don’t know what that means.” You pleaded, hands frozen in time, the knife still poised. A headache was beginning to form between your eyes, and your stress levels were incredibly high, but no one was giving you a straight answer. All you knew for certain was that you didn’t recognise this boy, and yet, he looked at you as if he knew you. 

<”Holy shit.”> Was all Spider replied with, slumping against the forest floor. 

<”No way.”> The na’vi boy agreed with a laugh. He was grinning hard, ears perked. 

His younger sister looked as confused as you felt. Whilst the older girl was inspecting you in a way similar to how Grace used to look at something that deeply fascinated her.

Out of nowhere a large, calloused hand wrapped around your shoulder, yanking you back and away from the kids. The hand moved with the momentum, throwing you off balance to land hard on your back. You gasped loudly, your knife flying away into the bushes. The kids were already yelling as you struggled to gather your bearings.

The barrel of an old model RDA rifle came into focus, inches from your face, making you gulp loudly. Following the line of the weapon, your gaze travelled up a blue arm to a scowling face that you hadn’t seen in decades.

<”JAKE DON’T!”> Spider yelled. Despite the frantic edge in his voice, he remained unmoving. His eyes as large as the moon as he stared unblinkingly up at the na’vi’s turned back. 

<”DAD! NO!”> The oldest girl shrieked, clumsily shoving her bound hands into the na’vi’s stomach, her eyes wide and pleading. 

The boy was quick to jump to your defence. <”They helped us escape Dad- SIR! Don’t!”> 

<”DADDY!”> The youngest shrieked, joining in at her older siblings’ reactions. She promptly latched herself onto his leg, clingy tightly and making his strong stance waver. If you weren’t seconds from dying - again - it would’ve been a comically domestic scene. 

You shifted your gaze back to the man in question. Jake looked different. He was older now. Tired. Blue. Very fucking blue. His expression was aged, his hair in dreadlocks. You barely recognised him. 

Movement over his shoulder brought your gaze to yet another kid. Older than the others, he shared the same hard expression as his father, an arrow notched and reading in his bow. Clearly, there was no chance of escape. If Jake missed you by some miracle, that boy would finish the job for him. 

Jake hadn’t lowered his gun. He was still studying you, blatantly ignoring his kids as his narrowed eyes swept over the planes of your face. The weight of the stare was heavy as his frown deepened. 

Somehow, you managed to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, terrified but fucking estatic that he was alive. ”Long time no see, marine.”

No reaction. The gun didn’t lower. His expression didn’t change. Remaining cold and closed off. 

Your smile faltered as you realise he probably didn’t recognise you. You expected the gun to be shoved back against you, for a bullet to shoot through your body and for you to die again. 

Nothing happened. 

Then something seems to click. ”Impossible.” Is all Jake said, and he lowered his weapon. The kids collectively breathed out and moved out of his way. 

His brow was furrowed now as he dropped into a crouch. Jake loomed over you, his shadow blocking out the moon as his arm shot forward to grab at the front of your bullet proof vest to yank it down. You jerked, instinctively growling at him as his large hand grabbed your dog tag chain and pulled it out of hiding. The chain pulled taught as he dragged you in by the neck, in turn, Jake stooped lower, eyes squinting to read the printed metal in the pathetic light of the forest. 

He sucked in a breath. <”What kind of sick-”> He cut himself off with a swear, dropping the tag like it had burned him. His eyes shone with a dense swirl of emotion when he caught your gaze again, his voice punching out of him in a yell. ”You should be dead!”

Your expression furrowed. ”Sorry to disappoint?”

He cursed again. <”Kids, get to the ikran. Your mother should be waiting for you.”> None of them moved. Jake growled. <”Did you hear?”>

You could make a break for it right now. Roll onto your stomach and dart off into the forest whilst he was preoccupied. The boy with the bow had loosened his arrow when Jake had dropped the gun from your face. But there was no guarantee he wouldn’t put a bullet between your shoulders for your hard work. 

In another life, you had been friends; comrades. But now, he was a stranger. And you were decked out in enemy gear. 

The heat of the jungle was getting to you now. Causing sweat to bead on your brow and moisture to collect under the heavy, bullet proof vest clutching tight to every movement of your torso. The military grade trousers clung uncomfortably to your legs, your boots long gone but your feet weak and vulnerable against the rough terrain of the jungle floor. 

In contrast, Jake was in his element. Adorned in traditional Omaticayan attire and walking around barefoot without an issue. 

<i>Private!</i> Quaritch’s calm voice over the com sent chills down your spine, making you stiffen. <i>Private! Do you read me?</i>

You dared not respond. Jake was still studying you. Those unnatural glowing eyes pinning you in place.

<i>Y/n! Dude, you alive!</i> Lyle’s loud voice had you wincing. Jake’s head snapped down at the sound, ears fanning wide as Lyle kept trying to coax you into responding. Making your insides twist tighter and tighter. 

You’d been hoping for a clean break that would spare your conscience. They weren’t supposed to have noticed your absence yet. 

Fuck, Quaritch was gonna kill you for getting cornered by Jake. That is if Jake didn’t kill you first.

You were so caught up in your musing that you didn’t notice the man in question had moved, until a hand clamped hard around your queue, snapping your head back from the harsh yank. The sound you let out could never have been produced by a human. It echoed through the trees, making your ears flatten.

Jake paid you no mind as he harshly dragged you to your feet. 

”Jake!” Spider yelled at him, eyes hardened. 

The marine waved him off as you struggled to comply, your balance all thrown off and mud clinging to your ass and back. His movements were sharp, making you gasp. In one swift motion, he dug his finger under your earpiece and tossed it away into the undergrowth. 

”Jesus, you’ve gotten cranky in your old age.” You complained, struggling to relieve the pressure on your kuru.

Jake let out a surprised burst of air that could’ve been a laugh. ”Glad to see whatever they’ve done to you hasn’t dimmed your humour, Private.”

”Fuck off with that military shit.”

He kicked at your calf, tripping you into walking faster. Snapping your teeth at him, you followed the sound of the kids retreating into the undergrowth. Jake’s grip was painful on your kuru, but he was no longer using it to guide you along like a misbehaving horse, so you would take it.

”You started it.” He blurted in that typical knee jerk reaction of his. You huffed at the familiarity of it. ”Now start walking.”

”You’re not seriously considering taking me with you? Are you?” He didn’t respond and you let out a bark of laughter. ”You’re being an idiot.”

“I’m sparing your life.” Jake replied sharply. ”Usually, people are grateful.”

You saw the ikran first. They weren’t as big as you remembered, but still scared the shit out of you. 

<”Ma Jake, what are you doing? Kill-”> Neytiri hissed from beside her mount. The youngest girl cradled to her chest. The woman stepped away from her ikran’s side, bow slung over her shoulder and her expression thunderous.

Jake pulled you up short, startling a second shout of pain from you. ”Dude! Ease up. Come on!”

Neytiri suddenly appearing in front of you had you stiffening. Her gaze pierced through you, studying your face with a hunter’s precision. She recognised you much faster than her mate.

“Would you quit whining?”

”You’re being an asshole!” 

You could only watch dumbly as her eyes widened, mouth dropping open whilst her ears fanned wide as the membrane of a frilled lizard. The hand not cradling her daughter flew to her mouth as that expression morphed into one of fiery rage. 

”What did they /DO/ to you?” She shrieked, the sheer grief in her tone making you flinch. Her breath stuttered, glancing at Jake before finding your pained expression again. “Eywa took you home.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that fact. 

The kids shuffled on your peripheral. Unsettled by their mother’s blatant grief. Neytiri drew your attention back.

”How is it that you stand before me now?!”

Her cry echoes through the trees, bouncing back to your bent ears with the same gut wrenching emotion as they had had leaving her mouth. You stared blankly at your friend, feeling all sense of hope and joy at being found drain away.

She was looking at you like you were a ghost or some kind of illusion. Waiting for you to evaporate or cease to exist at any moment. 

Your presence had unknowingly opened an old, festering wound that had barely healed the first time.

This wasn’t the reunion you’d been expecting. This wasn’t the open arms and tears you’d been praying for whilst you planned your escape. This was everything you didn’t want. 

“I’m sorry..”

>_<

Jake’s grip was unforgiving as he hauled you off of his ikran at High Camp. Your arms strained against the vines they’d used to bind your wrists, fingers failing to keep you on your feet as he forcefully yanked you down off of his ikran and onto the uneven cliff edge. One hand still grasped your kuru, whilst the other bit imprints into your bicep. 

They’d stripped you of your gear before wrestling you onto a banshee.

Now, your weapons, bullet proof vest and any form of communication with the RDA lay soaked in rainwater somewhere in the forest. You didn’t mourn the loss of the devices, since the RDA could no longer track you without them. But you did miss the false protection of the knife and the warmth of the vest against the frigid mountain air.

Goosebumps erupted up your forearms as you were dragged further into the heart of the camp. Tents had been erected inside the cave system, made homely by the cooking fires within and the decorative rugs lining the cold, stone floors.

You glimpsed a compound on one of the rocky rises. The shining metal stood out like a sore thumb against the wooden structures of the tents and the warm glow of the fires.

Jake kept you walking, guiding you through the gathering throng of clan members. Some you recognised, many you didn’t. They all stared at you the same. With pinned back ears and judgemental eyes. 

It was a relief when you were shoved between the flaps of the largest tent so far. The atmosphere was tense inside, with a fire burning low in the centre and various belongings stacked up against the walls. Herbs dried where they hung from the ceiling, whilst a hammock hung suspended against the back wall where two figures crouched over a map.

Your heart leapt into your throat. The rest of the clan and Jake’s unforgiving grip on you fell away as your eyes widened. 

The years had been kind to Mo’at. She still wore her red beaded shawl, but had updated her headpiece and decorative necklaces, one of which appeared to have been made by a child. Her intelligent eyes snapped towards you in the small space, the weight of the years portrayed in the heavy crow’s feet and bags pulling at her cheeks. That expression did not change as she studied you. 

Tsu’tey shifted at her elbow, looking as handsome as he always had. White paint ran down the line of his nose, from forehead to chin, standing out brightly against the soft blue of his skin. He carried himself with an undeniable sense of authority, chin lifted as that razor sharp glare cut you down to your very core. He no longer wore the necklace that had matched the choker your human body wore, but the rest of him had not changed. He studied you wordlessly, his lips dragged down into a frown as if he’d already analysed all he needed to know. 

Your eyes caught on the bullet scars that adorned his left shoulder. They were old, faded with time but obvious. Your stomach tensed at the thought of what he had been through in your absence. 

Wordlessly, you watched as Spider - who had slipped in behind you - skirted the fire and walked straight for Tsu’tey. “Dad.” The boy breathed, barely loud enough for you to hear. The hunter immediately opened his arms for the boy to fall into, his tail swaying anxiously as he whispered inaudibly to the young boy. Spider finally lost the tension in his body, whilst your stomach clenched painfully. You hated to imagine what their closeness meant. 

Neytiri burst into the tent behind you, making your ears shoot up and your body jerk. She paid you no mind, kicking at the back of your knee to force you to kneel. You gasped as Jake’s grip left you and Neytiri took his place. Her nails digging crescent moons into your scalp as she grasped the back of your neck with unforgiving tightness.

<”Daughter, what brings you here with such rage in your eye?”> Mo’at asked carefully. Her familiar voice sounded so calm, so familiar. You squeezed your eyes shut at the sudden weight behind them. 

<”The Sky People have found a new low.”> Neytiri declared loudly to the silent tent. Mo’at hummed. 

Somewhere behind the canvas of the tent wall, you heard small feet shift. Glancing to the side, you saw a tiny eye peering up at you from the gap between the material and the floor. Those unnaturally large eyes bore into your soul, making your tail thrash with nerves.

Neytiri’s fingers turned into claws in your hair, snapping your attention back to the situation at hand as she grasped a fistful of hair and yanked. <”They have begun to resurrect the dead.”> Your head snapped up from the motion, causing your neck to crack and warm pain to deep down your spine. Your mouth opened wide with an involuntary, pained gasp.

Mo’at didn’t move. 

Tsu’tey was scowling hard at her side, Spider wincing in sympathy at your treatment. Two sides of one coin. An odd pairing in appearance, but even in the short time you’d seen them together, you knew there was a bond there. Probably years old.  

With the crack in her daughter’s voice, Mo’at rose from her seat. On silent footsteps, she rounded the fire. ”What are you called?” 

You could tell that who you were still hadn’t clicked into place for Tsu’tey from the way that his ears flickered in uncertainty. Still looking confused, he composed himself, sitting back on his hunches to look at Neytiri. <”What is the meaning of this? Why have you brought this puppet to High Camp.”>

<”It protected the children.”> Neytiri returned easily. Making it sound like you were a pissed off thanator that had by some miracle, spared her offspring. <”It recognised us.”>

”Neytiri-”

<”You do NOT speak here.”>

Your name sat frozen on your tongue. The reactions of your previous two friends made you not want to reveal yourself. Neytiri shook you painfully by the kuru, letting out a warning hiss.

You spoke your name, eternally grateful that Mo’at’s towering form blocked Tsu’tey from view. 

More humming from Mo’at as she reached for the tiny blade concealed within the sheath of her head dress. You eyed her wearily, held still by Neytiri’s hand in your hair as she pricked your shoulder. She pulled the bloodied blade back, tasting the drop of blood. 

Her ears pricked at the taste, staring at you with a newfound revelation. ”It is you.” She confirmed, and something seemed to unwind in both Jake and Neytiri. ”But altered. You are not as the Great Mother intended.”

She motioned to her daughter, expression pinched. Neytiri tried to protest, but at her mother’s stern glare, her hands retreated from you. Your posture immediately slumped, relieved tingles echoing across your scalp and down your back.

”Explain.” Mo’at boomed, commanding your attention once more.

That finally got a reaction from the hunter still crouching over the map. 

”The Sky People grew this body as they grew the avatars.” She nodded along to the simple explanation, sharing glances with Tsu’tey over her shoulder. You swallowed. ”They uploaded my memories into it. This body is me.”

Jake sidestepped, putting himself back into your line of sight. ”So you aren’t linked up?” There was something unreadable in his eyes. You almost mistook it for hope.

You shook your head. That body was long gone. ”This is my body now.”

Spider had sat down on the mat beside him by now, and shifted uncertainly as the man wordlessly rose from his couch with the authority of a king rising from his throne. Mo’at stepped aside as he took slow, menacing steps towards you. Swallowing hard, you dared to meet his burning gaze highlighted by the soft white paint. The vibrant grief and rage swirling within those gorgeous depths was startling to behold.  

His hand went to the knife at his waist, wrestling it free with the practised song of the blade against its bone sheath. Your fight or flight threatened to kick in as you recognised the same hunter’s stalk he had performed the morning Neytiri and Jake had officially mated. 

<”Olo’eyktan?”> Mo’at asked, eying him wearily. 

He ignored her, storming past her fast enough to have her braids dancing. That gaze was narrowed; honed in on prey. 

His arm drew back. 

Your eyes widened. 

With a yell, he took a swift swipe at your head which you barely managed to dive out of the way of.

<”DAD NO!”> Spider yelled from across the tent. He was on his feet in minutes, scrambling forward, only for Mo’at to hold him back with her arm.

Neytiri tutted at the poorly aimed blow, her tail thrashing on your peripheral as you cowered in the dirt, your arms still bound and braced against stone. Vulnerable skin tore on uneven rock as you scrambled away, kicking yourself for turning your back, but knowing distance was more important.

At least Jake seemed to have your back.

<”Tsu’tey, what are you doing?”> The marine asked, immediately jumping in to stop him from striking again as you scrambled to get your feet under you. With your hands bound, it was a struggle. Your tail thrashed, attempting to aid your balance as you scrambled away.

Tsu’tey was like a man possessed, shoving Jake off balance and making another stab at you. His ears were flat on either side of his head, eyes wild and manic. You’d never seen him so pissed. And certainly not so quiet whilst being so angry. It was somehow more terrifying than if he were screaming at you. 

Jake scrambled to stay on his feet, his arms wrapping around Tsu’tey’s waist and yanking him back. Causing the knife to fall short of slicing through your side. The Olo’eyktan shrieked, a noise you had never heard a na’vi make before as his nails clawed at the man’s arms, failing to tear him off. Your ears flattened at the heart wrenching sound. Eyes not quite leaving the knife still in the Olo’eyktan’s grasp. A knife which he was quick to recall and hurl at your head. 

“Jesus FUCKING christ!” You swore, ducking again. “Calm down!”

He hissed in retaliation, ears pinned back from the ferocity of the sound. You stilled at the glint of water staining his cheeks, the redness of his eyes. ”I mourned you!” He cursed. Still struggling. Still trying to close the distance and kill you. 

Scratch that last part. Seeing him cry and begin to break down was far worse than anger.

”I buried you.” He screamed, the shout echoing around the tent and no doubt chasing itself out into the main cavern. ”I visited you in Eywa!”

Numbly, you took a step back. Towards the tent flaps. 

This had been a mistake. Coming here was a mistake.

”I have made my peace with your passing! What purpose do you serve? Why have you returned to haunt me?” There was so much anguish in his tone, you would’ve preferred a punch to the jaw. ”WHY!?”

”I couldn’t stay there.” You breathed, straightening your shoulders when you realised you’d curled in on yourself under that venomous glare. ”I couldn’t stay there!” You repeated, louder this time. Needing to be heard. Understood. ”With them.” Your throat was uncomfortably tight. ”I wanted to come home.”

”THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME, DEMON!” Tsu’tey was quick to snap back. His expression shattered, the rage giving way to a tsunami of grief so strong it made you sick. ”LEAVE!”

But you were frozen in place.

Tsu’tey took it as a challenge. With strength that made your eyes bug out, he stomped on Jake’s foot, shot his arms back, grabbed the marine by the weapons belt and yanked him up and over his shoulder. Jake hit the stone floor hard. With a wheeze, he collapsed in a heap, momentarily stunned. 

You gawked. 

Spider seemed to come back to himself. In your peripheral, you watched the kid expertly duck under Mo’at��s arm and dart around the fire, with the ease of someone who’d been doing it his entire life.

Tsu’tey’s form blocked him from view. His muscles were bunched like a thanator preparing to pounce. 

”GET. OUT!” Tsu’tey screamed again. He made to step over Jake, only for the man to grab his ankle and yank, causing the hunter to crash at your feet. You leapt back as his hands shot for your ankles. 

Spider was at your side in moments. ”This way!” He yelled, grabbing at your bound wrists and dragging you towards the tent flaps. You obeyed, but your eyes remained glued to Tsu’tey. To the hands that would drag you down and gladly wring your neck. To the twisted expression on his face, so alien to you and causing the white paint to bunch and flake. 

Mo’at tutted at his back. <”You do not think clearly.”> She narrated, stalking around the fist fight now commencing on her tent floor. 

”Come on!” Spider urged, tugging sharply on your wrists and tearing your attention from Tsu’tey and the rest of them. ”We have to get you out of here.”

<”Give me a head start?”> Spider joked with a hoarse laugh, the furious screams of Tsu’tey biting at your ankles. 

Neytiri appeared at your side, yanking aside the tent flap and helping Spider shove you outside. <”Take the ikran.”> She urged the boy, her expression icy. <”They cannot remain here.”>

You had FUCKING GATHERED THAT MUCH!

Neytiri nodded sharply before barking out loudly, <”Neteyam!”> 

A flurry of movement by the side of the tent revealed the older son from before. His expression was painfully neutral as his gaze slid from his mother to the teenager holding you hostage by your bound wrists. 

<”Take the demon to the forest.”> Neytiri stated. She didn’t wait to see if he acknowledged her command before promptly ducking back into the tent. The flicker of a memory tickled the back of your mind at her sharp cursing as the ruckus within the tent continued.

The boy, Neteyam, barely spared you a glance before heading back the way you’d been dragged into the camp. Despite being dragged all the way here for the Olo’eyktan to pass his judgement, the Sully family were doing a spontaneous job of doing the opposite of his will. You had no doubt that Tsu’tey would have gutted you regardless of his knee-jerk reaction. 

You were lost in your musings as Neteyam hollered for his ikran, three bursts of sound that had the magnificent beast dropping from a higher level of the cave system to stand before its rider. The boy was quick to form Tsaheylu, before fluidly mounting up.

<”Where are we headed?”>

<”The old village.”> Spider replied simply, guiding you towards the back of the mount with firm pushes. 

Part 1 -> Next Chapter 

[elysiansparadise]

Dear Elysian, since your blog is so insightful, I hope you can help me out: What is the best way to deal with moon square moon synastry? I know so many Scorpio moons (I'm a Cancer rising with Scorpio 5th house) but my natal Leo moon almost always squares their moon. Maybe there are some Synastry aspects that can smoothen this energy? I would love to hear your thoughts about this. On the other hand, I‘m really excited for your upcoming posts! Keep up the great work and good luck! 🍀

Sure, I would love to help you dear! 🥰💗

How to deal with Moon-Moon square in synastry?

First we have to understand what this square usually indicates. When Moon squares Moon in the synastry there may be different emotional needs, lifestyles, ways of feeling and/or expressing feelings, dynamics with the family or different opinions regarding the formation of the home.

As for practical approaches, I can mention the following:

🤍Good communication always helps. Openly express what things make you feel comfortable and what don't. Establish boundaries and make sure you listen to and accept each other's boundaries. Let each other know how you like to be loved to avoid misunderstandings. Talk to each other about how you deal with your emotions, do you like to have your space when you are upset or sad? Do you prefer physical comfort? Do they just want to be heard? Talk about it.

🤍Empathy is the foundation of a relationship and a perfect way to deal with Moon squares. Trying to see things from the other's perspective and developing empathy can help to ease tensions. It’s important to remember that both have valid ways of feeling and reacting, even if they are different.

🤍Find a middle point. Do not wait for the other to change into what the other wants, instead of insisting that the other adapt completely to your own needs, find a middle ground where both feel seen and heard without needing to feel that you cannot be yourselves with each other.

Now, as far as aspects of astrology are concerned, I have a couple in mind:

🩶Conjunctions, trines or sextiles between Sun-Moon can help a lot, because despite the initial square, these aspects help both of you to have greater empathy with the other and feel that despite your differences, you can be yourself and feel appreciated, loved and supported. The Sun is our identity, so when the Moon aspects positively, there is genuine affection where sympathy, care and appreciation for the other awakens.

🩶Mercury-Moon positive aspects can be an excellent tool, as they will be able to talk more easily about insecurities, emotions and what they need from the relationship. The fluid aspects between these two planets help the other feel heard, favoring that disposition of truly wanting to understand the other and validate what they feel.

🩶When the Moon aspects Jupiter positively, it causes both of them to grow together and learn a lot from each other. These aspects greatly favor a peaceful coexistence in which both look up to the other and are amazed by the other. The theme of teamwork, mutual support, affection and attention to others are of great help to counteract the initial square.

🩶The trine or sextile between Moon-Saturn makes both of them focus on creating the foundation for a lasting relationship. The Moon person shows empathy, understanding and a lot of validation, while the Saturn person is open to knowing how to best meet the other person's needs, be reliable, as well as patient and delicate. Both will support each other and seek to meet the other's needs in their own way.

🩶The positive aspects between Venus-Saturn give a lot of commitment between the natives, they will want to do things well with the other and provide love and understanding to the other. 

🩶Mercury positively aspecting Pluto or Saturn can also be of great help, as both may feel that they can talk about the more serious aspects of the relationship. It greatly favors long-term planning and makes both feel that they can be very honest and clear with the other. They will not be the type of couple that is afraid to address some topics; on the contrary, they may find it very easy to do so due to the foundations of trust and reliability of the relationship.

🩶Planets falling in the 1st house can help you find similarities between the two and can help you feel more empathy between them. Understanding, similar experiences and in general similarities on issues related to the planet that falls into the house. Sun for example makes them have similar personalities and makes them feel admiration and happiness with respect to each other. Mercury can make you both have similar opinions and ways of communicating. With Venus, your perception of love or similar love languages and so on.

🩶Planets falling in the 4th house can create this feeling of comfort with each other. No matter the differences or experiences they have experienced, both can feel understood, protected and cared for by the other. Moon falling here, for example, can talk to us about that feeling of being able to better express your feelings without fear of being judged. Jupiter falling here tells us about this immediate boost of serotonin, the presence of the other makes you feel happier and understood.

🩶Planets falling in the 5th house also help a lot, as both make each other feel happy, loved and very motivated by the other. They feel that they can be lighthearted with each other, that there are no pressures, expectations or stress, being with each other is fun, easy and leaves them with a feeling of warmth in their chest. Moon falling here makes you more easily expressive of each other, romance, authenticity and compatibility.

🩶Planets falling in the 7th house greatly favor compatibility, good coexistence [especially if you plan to be with this person over the long run], and a willingness to understand their differences. Sun, Moon or Rising falling here are a great indicator of compatibility between both of you and the house person can even develop this ease of reading the other like an open book.