#whew that was a lot of words

[angel-in-your-basement]

Hi, i Hope to not disturb you, but I'm discovering new things about me with your blog, the problem is that I always feel guilty, and disgusted by myself even if i find It okay or attractive when other Person share It.

Any advice on how to deal with this senseless emotion? 🤡

Thanks to you in advance even if you don't answer, love your writing and your blog, big hug if you are comfortable with them <3

Hi!

Sorry I wasn’t able to get to this sooner! This is gonna be a long one, so I’m gonna put it under the cut. Let’s talk about one of my favourite topics: kinks & shame/guilt/disgust 🥰

So in my experience, over time your brain will get used to the ideas, and the disgust level will go down naturally - especially if you talk about it with other people who are into it, because that helps to normalize it.

But that’s not an 100% fix, so let’s talk about some things you can do to actively manage the icky feelings.

First of all, guilt + shame + disgust are all feelings that are intended to protect us from doing bad things & being bad people. When you start doing or wanting to do something that you’ve been told is “bad”, it’s normal to feel bad! It makes a lot of sense, actually - it’s our brains trying to keep us on track with our values & maintain our relationships.

But, of course, what we’ve been told is bad is generally not objectively bad, it’s heavily influenced by opinion, unprocessed emotion, politics and a whole bunch of other shit. So what we want to do is identify what we’ve internalized, and whether that actually fits for us.

The single best thing you can do is to get curious & (gently & non-judgementally) question those thoughts.

So here’s some questions to get you going & explanations to go with them:

Why is this kink “bad”? Where is that idea coming from? Do you 100% agree with this? Why or why not?

Often, it’s something very black & white like “hurting people = bad”, but when we actually unpack it, there’s a LOT of nuance to it. Like, what counts as hurting? Emotional? Physical? Is someone being hurt always a bad thing, or is it sometimes necessary in order for us to learn/hold boundaries/etc.? What if someone wants to be hurt? Is there any situations hurting someone might be okay in?

What do you feel like it says about you that you’re into it?

Generally, this comes down to something like “if I am into this, I am a bad person”. So I would question again: what’s a bad person? How do you know if someone is one? What is the exact criteria and cut off point for being “bad”?

One particular point to mention here is that it is my very strong belief (guided by research + my job + personal experience) that thoughts, feelings, urges etc. are not “you”, and they are not bad. Where we get into “bad” territory is in how you deal with them. I am a big supporter of identifying the core needs behind your thoughts & urges, and meeting them in healthy ways, like kink! Which leads us to…

What are you getting out of this kink?

For instance, a lot of my kinks, both sub and dom, come from my need to be wanted, and exploring the extremes of that (what if someone wanted me so bad they would do anything to have me? What if someone wanted me so bad they would do anything I tell them?). Other common themes are control, exploration of insecurities, exploration of shame/taboo, and so on.

Do you want to be okay with this kink? If yes, what boundaries do you need in place to help you feel better about exploring it? If no, why not?

This one is important because you don’t HAVE to be okay with a kink. You don’t have to engage with it, even if your horny brain thinks it’s a good idea. If you don’t want to engage with it, set out a plan outside of horny time for how you will hold that boundary. If you do want to engage with it, what parts are most uncomfortable? Do you need to engage with them in order to engage with this kink? Again, if you DO want to be okay with stuff, ease yourself into it. Go slow.

And most importantly: connection

Nothing helps more with shame than to talk about what you’re ashamed of with someone who you know will be kind, non-judgmental and can relate to you. That’s what kinky friends are for!

One final note:

If you are worried that you are a bad person, it’s extremely unlikely that you are. Bad people don’t sit around worrying that they are bad.

[thegreatgremlingang]

*Rage post may delete later*

just went and saw a meta about Jiang Cheng being underappreciated for getting Wei Wuxian out of the Xuanwu cave and stuff and I was scrolling through the comments being like "awwwww" "yeah that's right" 'damn straight" "yeeeheeahhhh" and then I just saw this FUCKING COMMENT being like "eeerrrmmmm that still doesn't excuse what he did to wwx he's such a nasty ass human being omg" and idk why but it just flipped some sort of mental rage switch in me and HRRRRRNGH like the little smile was WIPED OFF MY FACE and my intestines crackled from the sudden rise in blood pressure and like jc antis can you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE chill and leave us the fuck alone

I don't want to die young from health complications

my entire dash was full of jc metas and ofc discourse and this fucking comment just pushed me over the edge

jc antis PLEASE PLEASE leave the stans ALONE and go drink some orange juice or something please do something productive you've got better things to do that shitting on jc and the people that choose to like him

even if he's straight up evil (he isn't) that's not your fucking problem isn't it people can stan literal villains in other fandoms and nobody cares so why do you guys have to be such control freaks

I don't see the xue yang antis and Jin Guanyao antis behave in this rabid ass sort of way just CALM DOWN and stop trying to make us argue with you on whether Jiang Cheng beats Jin Ling on a daily basis or if he puts emo teenagers in wood chippers or something

what even is the purpose of all the shit you get up to? Is it going to make Jiang Cheng hear you through the fourth wall? Is he going to drop to his knees and apologize to Wei Wuxian? NO! Is it going to make us stans see the "errors of our ways" and go hate on Jiang Cheng with you? NO! Is it going to summon Wei Wuxian so he can host a fan meetup and give you a hug and his autograph and his eternal friendship? NO!!! Is it going to drive Wei Wuxian to put Jiang Cheng in a wood chipper? NO!!! Is it going to make Jiang Cheng become real so y'all can put him in a wood chipper? N O !!!!!!!!!!!

Listen. Just like how we can never convince you to stan Jiang Cheng, you can never convince us to do whatever is your endgame. So I suggest you go to your own little corner of the fandom, stop bothering us, let us be "delulu" in peace, and get a fucking life.

phew!

Now I feel much better! Thanks for coming to my Ted talk and don't forget to tune in next time! bye bye!

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Sunday Sentences 4/7/2024

hello hello hello friends and thank you so much for all the tags already today from so many people I'll put under the cut

Even though I've been suffering from major bi-weewoo-confirmed brainrot, (a related wip has been started) I've managed to squeeze out a little more of the taynick coachella fic.

Nick follows Taylor into his bedroom and looks around. The walls are covered with photos of him smiling with his friends and family. He has a framed photo of his younger self on his nightstand – he can’t be more than seven or eight years old – and there’s already some clothes spread out on the bed.  “What’s all this?” Nick asks as he gestures to the bed. “Honestly? I didn’t think we’d find anything at your place so I pulled out a couple options before I came over.”  “Thanks for the bode of confidence, you little fucker.” 

tags from: @duchessdepolignaca03 @wordsofhoneydew @onthewaytosomewhere @sunnysideprince @nocoastposts @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @getmehighonmagic @magicandarchery @littlemisskittentoes @thinkof-england @captainjunglegym @firenati0n

some no pressure tags: @sparklepocalypse @anincompletelist @eusuntgratie @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @cha-melodius @heysweetheart-writes @affectionatelyrs @happiness-of-the-pursuit @lostcol @onward--upward @sheepywritesfics @groversimhadri @taste-thewaste @cactusdragon517 @inexplicablymine @dreamsinthewitchouse @doublecheekeddiaz @fivequartersoftheorange @oxfordslutphase

[cerise-on-top]

Haiii! I love your work :D

Could you possibly do a gaz x reader? When him and reader are celebrating their anniversary:), that would be really cute :’))

Hello! Thank you, I hope this is enjoyable as well! I went with a more fluffy route this time, I just wanna see Gaz happy and healthy and as far aways from any and all danger as possible! This request was really cute, I love Gaz! I'm glad there are several of us who do! Though I think I went a bit overboard with this, but how could I not when people are requesting best boi!

Celebrating Your Anniversary with Gaz

For the sake of this request, we’re gonna go with the idea that Gaz was able to be with you during your anniversary and didn’t end up being somewhere in the world, having to fight tooth and nail for his survival. We’re gonna go the fluffy route with this!

His memory is really good, Gaz would never forget something as important as your anniversary. Doesn’t matter if you’re together, doesn’t matter if you’re married. He has it memorized, he wrote it down on his phone, he noted it on several loose papers lying around just about anywhere. Trust me when I say he’s the last person to ever forget something like this. Although he would appreciate it if you remembered as well, he’d probably love it even more if, just once, you forgot about your anniversary, that way he could properly surprise and absolutely spoil you rotten. He wants to make your anniversaries days you can remember, so he will tailor them to your liking. You like going to arcades or amusement parks? A bookshop date? You just wanna go to McDonald’s? It’s all yours, and don’t you dare even think about paying, your wallet will not be strained on such a holy and sublime day.

The day would start off simple. You’d sleep in, if you can, cuddling for as long as possible, until one of you needs to get up for whatever reason. He’ll nuzzle into you, holding you as close to him as possible. He wants you to feel his warmth, how alive you make him feel, he wants you to feel how his heart beats for you and only you. Gaz has a beautiful voice, it’s fairly low and very calming to listen to. He’d hum your favorite tune that’s a bit calmer. He wants you to be as relaxed for him as possible, maybe even fall asleep in his arms again, even if he definitely wouldn’t mind you staying up to chat a bit with him as well. He’s gonna be all over you, making sure to touch you wherever he can so you feel secure with him. And when you’re drifting off to sleep again, that’s when his plan begins.

Gaz will plant a kiss on your neck or your forehead, whatever he can reach as he excuses himself to the bathroom. However, this sly dog will actually head for the kitchen to make you some breakfast. He’s a good cook, so whatever it is you like, he’ll make it. French toast? Scrambled eggs? Eggs and bacon? Your wish is his command, even if you never uttered a single order. He just hopes you won’t wake up or, even if you do, will at the very least stay in bed. This breakfast isn’t for you to enjoy in the kitchen or the living room, you’re to eat it in your bed. He even got you a nice tray so he can carry it to you without making a mess. Orange juice and all. You will be spoiled.

It’s then that he’ll wake you with another soft kiss to your temple, maybe shaking you awake a bit, so you can enjoy your breakfast together. Might even feed you a bit, just to be embarrassingly cute while he’s at it. The more content you look, the better. Afterwards, he’ll leave for the kitchen again, putting the tray away and decorating the living room a bit. There will be the most gorgeous roses you’ve ever seen in a vase, alongside several other flowers, each of which tells of a different kind of adoration. And when you finally follow suit and spot the flowers, he’ll just smile and claim that they looked very pretty. If you understand flower language, then you can tell he just really wanted to say he loved you in as many different ways as he could.

It’s then that he’ll ask you to get ready for the day, to brush your teeth and hair, and put on some clothes. You don’t need to look particularly fancy, he wants you to be as comfortable as you could possibly be. This is when he’ll take you to a place you like which, as mentioned before, could be just about anything. Waterpark, roller skate rink or just a lovely walk in the park, he’s open for everything. You will be accommodated accordingly. Those places are where you’ll be spending the majority of your day, grabbing something simple to eat for the time being, such as some fries or maybe some toast at a good cafe or pub.

When day meets night, he’ll take your hand in his, taking you to a fancy restaurant you’ve been to a few times. Preferably one where the both of you can look down at the city and see all the beautiful lights it has to offer. You’ll spend another two hours or so there. At the very least, you’ll be there until it gets dark, eating good food, having a good drink, maybe some wine as well. It doesn’t matter what you choose, all Gaz wants is to see the twinkling city lights dance in your eyes afterwards. When the evening is starting to roll over into night, he’ll take you to a ferris wheel. A big one where you can see the entire city from.

He’ll watch you as you excitedly look everywhere, taking in as many sights as you can, hoping that the ferris wheel stops at just the right time. Ideally, that would be right at the top. But he won’t be too picky if it’s somewhat to the side as well. As long as he gets to see your mouth agape at all the pretty lights, he’s content. While the ferris wheel stops, he’ll shoot his shot. If you’ve been together for a few years but aren’t married yet, he’ll propose to you. If you’re already married, he’ll still get down on one knee, take your hand in his and kiss its back tenderly, like a knight in shining armor. It’s embarrassingly sweet, but he knows no one but you is going to see it, so he does it anyway. You’re royalty in his eyes, you’re his to protect and care for, and he needs to show his loyalty however he can. Once he’s done kissing your hand, he’ll get up, holding your hand still and pulling you up with him, just so he can hold you close once again. Another tender kiss to your lips, and then he’ll get out a small box. Either the proposal ring or, if you’re married already, he’ll gift you a lovely little necklace made of pure silver. Something you can wear that will always remind you of him.

Once you’re down on the ground again, he’ll take your hand in his and lead you home, conversing with you about how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you in his life and how he hopes he gets to spend many, many more years like that with you.

If it’s not too late yet, you might watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. But you’ll likely both be tuckered out after today and just snuggle up in bed, ready for the next day.

And this is how Gaz’ ideal anniversary would go.

[rosylamb]

You’re beautiful, I wish I could spoil you so much.

My friend . . ! ! ! ⊹ ｡⋆ ��� 🎀

I was so surprised by this I almost didn’t know what to say :’)

Thank you so much for your kind words !! ♡

You don’t need to though, cus I already have a lot to be grateful for!

Like even today I had blessings — there was enough money left over for ice cream and snickerdoodle cookies !! Yay !!!

*Plus* it’s also good enough weather for me to go outside tonight to see the pretty star cluster that’s gonna be next to the moon! ♡

(The fall & winter months always have the nicest stars & constellations out! I love stargazing this time of year, cus it’s so much fun !! You should try it if you do not already!)

I’m just so happy today hehe :D

What about you? Are you happy, too, my friend ?? If you are not then I pray that you find a reason to smile soon, my friend c:

Sending hugs, hearts, *and* one of my snickerdoodle cookies or another flavor if you don’t like that one !!

Please take care, stay safe, and have a really really fun day ~ !! ୨ XOXO ୧

💛 🎀 ⊹ ｡⋆ 🧸♡ ⋆˙⊹ 🌼 🧁

[quinloki]

When you have a hot second, can you give us the birthday kink updated list? Like what's done, in progress, etc.?

The last few have been 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Sure! - Wait, what's done?!

... 😮

39 gifts are what's done so far. O_O I'm trying to think if there's a relatively easy way to list all of them...

Ahem, what's LEFT from the original list I posted a while back are: Kyros x AFAB reader dom!Ace x cisfem!reader Marco/Law x cisfem!reader Kaku x cisfem!reader Hongo x afab!reader Sasaki x cisfem!reader Law x cisfem!reader Heat x blank reader type Izou x blank reader type Heat x afab!reader Rosinante x cisfem!reader Sub!Eustass x Dom!cisfem!reader Sabo x nb!reader X Drake x cisfem!reader Doffy x afab!reader Akainu x afab!reader (whew this will be a challenge)

Added to that are: SuperSubbySanji x F!Reader (I might have to trash this, idk that I have the actual ability to write this as requested, but I mean to try) Softdom!Beckman x blank reader type Ace x Law x cisfem!reader Rayleigh x cisfem!reader Rayleigh x Shanks x cisfem!reader [Spoiler threesoms] x blank reader type Dom!Buggy x cisfem!reader

So that's what there is to look forward too.

For what's written:

I have it as a "book" on Wattpad just because it's so painfully easy to toss it up there.

Everything - I've triple checked - is tagged with "birthday request event" here on tumblr so you can follow that tag and read them.

I honestly might be doing these into September (Which is fine by me) I'm taking care not to burn myself out on them, and still work on my multi-chapters too. (plus work, D&D, etc.)

I'd list out all the combos.. but T-T that's a lot of typing. so have some referential screen shots of the chapter list off of Wattpad XD

[kylos-starlight]

Changed my icon because HOW COULD I NOT!? HULLO!?

[inkykeiji]

my boyfriend got some new aftershave that smells like sandalwood so he’s basically bmb tomura now~

[chatdae]

Robert Redford as Jay Gatsby was really good at expressing different sides of the character. Sometimes Gatsby seems really mature and distant; other times he seems really adoring and earnest, yet still mature; other times he seems completely starry-eyed and naive. A lot of this comes from the script and visuals but still, I think Redford is a big part of it. By the end of the movie, Gatsby really seemed like a dreaming teenage boy in a man's body

Special nod to the way Redford delivers "Loved me...too?" during the argument at the hotel. It was palpable just how pitifully incapable Gatsby was of imagining Daisy in a way that wasn't absolutely perfect

[t00thpasteface]

when i'm writing any kind of marcien anything i have to be very careful to make sure lucien is still a bastard with fucked up morals, and martin is still a little bit of a morally gray nihilist, lest i cross what i refer to as the Superbat Event Horizon

[wickedhawtwexler]

unhinged moron behavior (affectionate)

[bornforbvrning]

From the ask game :

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

May I add and why? (Loving how they sound is a perfectly acceptable answer)

Three different words came to my mind and they are definitely among my faves from my native language. Please keep in mind they’re not useful though 😅

1. Nietoperz (a bat) - aside from the fact I tend to be, well, batshit crazy about bats, this word actually comes from old Slavic for “night flyer”. I totally understand it why for example French or German include the word “mouse” in their words for “bat”, but I do find “night flyer” both more badass and cuter, if that makes sense

2. Kombinować (to think of solution/to make your way through something/ to come up with a smart solution) - translations are a veeery big stretch here ‘cause there is no exact or precise word in other language, really. This word can also mean that you come up with a solution that is smart but not always safe or fair 😂

3. Dziabąg (it can mean any small/weird/unidentified creature, I use it synonymously as “little devil” and for example I’ve called my cat like this on multiple occasions)

[unboundbnha]

I’ve started *gags, chokes* writing….again….*spits out blood, gasps and gurgles as I fall to the ground*

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅ ⚅— @petitprincekiryu —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

The question got a raucous laugh from the barista, and remembering well what he'd ordered last time he started on repeating that order again. "Oh, no, I have done some very stupid shit since the last time we talked. Absolutely, I've been a dumbass. But hey, ya learn from that sorta stuff, right? And alla the folks I hurt, I've had the good fortune to make amends with them. I'll never forget what I did, but I think it's alright now."

His cafe had made some changes as well. There were new items on the menu and new blends, things that he'd been experimenting with and perfecting. And since it was getting around the season, he was putting out the pumpkin donuts and coffee (though the coffee wasn't actually on the menu, a secret item for certain sweet-tooth customers), and there were even more posters and art pieces on the walls. The music of the district had settled considerably as well. The Composer and Producer both had been going to therapy, and though it had largely sacrificed their relationship, they were both in a much better place now.

Hands worked as seamlessly as before, and if he hadn't said it outright it might have been difficult to tell anything had changed with him at all. Aside from the anxiety that no longer weighed heavy on his shoulders, he seemed just the same as any other counterpart of himself. Careless and happy, full of life and light in his element here in the shop. And excited for a visitor he hadn't seen in such a long time.

"And that is to say, I'm working hard to make sure I don't make the mistakes I did in the past. I hurt a lotta people in part because of my own trauma and insecurities. I'm actively working on myself now, trying to learn how to work with the things I struggle with. I won't go into too much detail since it concerns from friends'a mine, too, but ya know. I apologized and I did what I could to fix the damage I had caused. They've forgiven me now, and I don't want to forget it or the actions leading to my growth, but I'm trying not to talk about it too much to respect the privacy of the other parties. You understand."

[pomefioredove]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do the Dormleaders' reactions to Yuu who, given that they're from another world, is immune to any and all magic spells.

Example: Riddle's 'Off With Your Head' doesn't make a collar on their neck, 'King's Roar' doesn't affect them at all, 'It's A Deal' doesn't take anything from Yuu and acts like any ordinary contract, etc.

However, this means any healing spells has no effect, forcing Yuu to heal on their own.

Thank you for reading this!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ magic immune reader

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

out of all the dorm leaders, Riddle would be the most annoyed

...not that 'Off With Your Head' would've done much, anyway

you have no magic to take away

but... it's the meaning!

it's symbolic!

even a plain old collar would be punishment enough

but he can't even do that!

hopefully, you're not the type to misbehave, so he won't have to worry about it

if you are...

...expect to spend a lot of your week trimming the hedges around Heartslabyul as punishment

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona doesn't even know until his overblot

...well...

until after his overblot

everyone keeps going on about how lucky you are

(personally, he doesn't see what's so great about being magic-repellent, but sure)

he's... glad you're okay

not that he'd ever admit that...

just don't let it get to your head, alright?

being immune to magic means both bad and good spells

and he's not going to be sanding you again anytime soon

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul is PISSSSSED lmao

all that work he's put into his latest business venture

and for what??

you're not even BOUND by his contracts!

he has a hard time saying goodbye to Ramshackle...

what a nice cafe it would have made...

but, still

there's got to be some way he can use this to his advantage

he's an adaptable man

and he's always looking for a new assistant

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Kalim is only a little disappointed

first, you can't even cast a spell

now you can't have any cast on you?

you're missing out on all his great party tricks!!!

but... oh, well

he thinks of it as an adventure, or a fun challenge

magicless parties sound kinda cool, right?

and Jamil says it's probably for the better, and Kalim trusts his judgment

(...for now, at least, cough cough)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

not counting the... VDC incident, Vil doesn't care

unlike your annoying friends, he has no reason to curse you

and he can certainly think of many magicless punishments should you ever misbehave

so, no

not really something that crosses his mind

even when you're unwell (because, of course, he's the first to tend to you), he prefers using natural remedies before magical ones

to him, it's just another piece of the strange puzzle that is you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

honestly what is Idia going to do

open the gates of hell on you?

nah

even boring spells would be too much effort for a guy like him

he does find you kinda interesting, though

I mean, being immune to magic in this place is a total buff!

imagine a group of NPCs firing magic at you, and you're like, wham! whew! zoooom!

...in his own words, anyway

(it's not actually that cool)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Malleus...

where do I even start?

he's so reliant using magic that he can almost sense there's something different about you right away

one on hand, it's a good thing

he worries about you, you know? the students at this school can get... unruly

on the other hand, knowing that you won't respond to magical healing is... worrying

he tries not to think about it so much

his overblot is a different story, though

if he can't put you to sleep, what can he do? trap you at NRC with him forever?

actually... I take it back, he'd totally do that

[underfeddemonboy]

Hello you mentioned in your most recent post that you are hacking your metabolism by eating very small intermittent meals instead of one meal a day. Can you elaborate on that? I want to get better at this. My biggest fear going on T is getting big and fat and ugly. Thank you.

Hello!

So, what I mean is - I have my allotted calories for the day, right? Like for example, right now I’m restricting to around 1000/1200 a day (disclaimer: that’s what works for me for a sustainable, slow but steady weight loss, I’m just saying that to give an example, that number is different for anyone and being super honest, eating this much before t would’ve made me gain weight lol so just substitute that with whatever number you’re personally comfortable with), and I just kinda plan my day of eating around that - I try to never go more than three hours without eating something (usually more like two tho lol), even if it’s just something small like a handful of nuts or a single biscuit or a piece of candy or a fruit! This server the purpose of 1. Keeping my metabolism active by telling my body it’s gotta burn any food it gets because more will come as soon as it’s done using that up and 2. Keeping myself in a state of that empty, hungry feeling without going full into ravenous/starving (I /hate/ feeling full, it makes me feel gross, but I also fucked too much with heavy restriction when I was a young teen and now I can’t go to that level of hunger without it leading to an involuntary binge), for that reason I always have some type of snack on me at all times lol - it doesn’t have to be a prepackaged snack, it can literally be some nuts you put in a bag, a slice of bread in plastic wrapping, a fruit, whatever you can get away with wrapping up and stuffing in a bag/backpack/pocket. Either way, I do that because ideally, I have a schedule I like to keep to (a hearty breakfast, depending on whether I’m waking up early or late some kind of light snack after, then lunch around 12am to 1pm (research says that the “no lunch after 2pm” rule is bullshit but… I personally am terrified of it lol), then after that I try not to eat anything until my 4/5pm snack (sooner or later depending on when lunch was), and then I’ll probably be grazing on something small all the way until dinner, which I keep at around 7/8pm - honestly if you’re staying up very late I’m pretty sure you can get away with after-dinner snacks as long as the timing and quantity is right, I just personally have a rule to not eat anything after dinner not just for ED reasons, but also because I have very bad GERD and I like to make sure my stomach is fully empty before I sleep so I don’t have acid up my throat all night) and if any of it gets disrupted in any way because life's just like that sometimes, I can still have something on me to fill that "put something in you once every three hours" gap and give me more time until i'm able to actually eat what i had planned to.

I get that snacking can feel daunting, but if you prepare your snacks beforehand and already know the calorie amount of the whole thing, and add that up to your daily intake and gradually pick at it through the day, as long as you stick to that it will be fine - honestly I personally enjoy this a lot more than eating something whole in one go, because that way I can enjoy it for longer, I don’t get the gross “full” feeling that makes me feel guilty after, and I know it all serves to keep my metabolism up.

Last thing I’d say is, like I mentioned I keep my meals sliding scale - aka, I generally try to have the most food at once earlier in the day, and as I go through the day slowly decrease (after all, if food is fuel, what do you need it for if the day is almost over? I think of it kinda like tipping up a fuel tank, you wouldn’t put in more than you need but you need to stay in this sweet spot where the body doesn’t think it needs to save fuel for a famine, so if you want to have a cheat meal/food, earlier in the day is best since that will still act as fuel), and like I said if you pick from the same pre-portioned snacks you already know how much it takes up in your caloric intake, but if you add any extra you can just remove a little bit from your next meal.