#whew that was a lot of words

[angel-in-your-basement]

Hi, i Hope to not disturb you, but I'm discovering new things about me with your blog, the problem is that I always feel guilty, and disgusted by myself even if i find It okay or attractive when other Person share It.

Any advice on how to deal with this senseless emotion? 🤡

Thanks to you in advance even if you don't answer, love your writing and your blog, big hug if you are comfortable with them <3

Hi!

Sorry I wasn’t able to get to this sooner! This is gonna be a long one, so I’m gonna put it under the cut. Let’s talk about one of my favourite topics: kinks & shame/guilt/disgust 🥰

So in my experience, over time your brain will get used to the ideas, and the disgust level will go down naturally - especially if you talk about it with other people who are into it, because that helps to normalize it.

But that’s not an 100% fix, so let’s talk about some things you can do to actively manage the icky feelings.

First of all, guilt + shame + disgust are all feelings that are intended to protect us from doing bad things & being bad people. When you start doing or wanting to do something that you’ve been told is “bad”, it’s normal to feel bad! It makes a lot of sense, actually - it’s our brains trying to keep us on track with our values & maintain our relationships.

But, of course, what we’ve been told is bad is generally not objectively bad, it’s heavily influenced by opinion, unprocessed emotion, politics and a whole bunch of other shit. So what we want to do is identify what we’ve internalized, and whether that actually fits for us.

The single best thing you can do is to get curious & (gently & non-judgementally) question those thoughts.

So here’s some questions to get you going & explanations to go with them:

Why is this kink “bad”? Where is that idea coming from? Do you 100% agree with this? Why or why not?

Often, it’s something very black & white like “hurting people = bad”, but when we actually unpack it, there’s a LOT of nuance to it. Like, what counts as hurting? Emotional? Physical? Is someone being hurt always a bad thing, or is it sometimes necessary in order for us to learn/hold boundaries/etc.? What if someone wants to be hurt? Is there any situations hurting someone might be okay in?

What do you feel like it says about you that you’re into it?

Generally, this comes down to something like “if I am into this, I am a bad person”. So I would question again: what’s a bad person? How do you know if someone is one? What is the exact criteria and cut off point for being “bad”?

One particular point to mention here is that it is my very strong belief (guided by research + my job + personal experience) that thoughts, feelings, urges etc. are not “you”, and they are not bad. Where we get into “bad” territory is in how you deal with them. I am a big supporter of identifying the core needs behind your thoughts & urges, and meeting them in healthy ways, like kink! Which leads us to…

What are you getting out of this kink?

For instance, a lot of my kinks, both sub and dom, come from my need to be wanted, and exploring the extremes of that (what if someone wanted me so bad they would do anything to have me? What if someone wanted me so bad they would do anything I tell them?). Other common themes are control, exploration of insecurities, exploration of shame/taboo, and so on.

Do you want to be okay with this kink? If yes, what boundaries do you need in place to help you feel better about exploring it? If no, why not?

This one is important because you don’t HAVE to be okay with a kink. You don’t have to engage with it, even if your horny brain thinks it’s a good idea. If you don’t want to engage with it, set out a plan outside of horny time for how you will hold that boundary. If you do want to engage with it, what parts are most uncomfortable? Do you need to engage with them in order to engage with this kink? Again, if you DO want to be okay with stuff, ease yourself into it. Go slow.

And most importantly: connection

Nothing helps more with shame than to talk about what you’re ashamed of with someone who you know will be kind, non-judgmental and can relate to you. That’s what kinky friends are for!

One final note:

If you are worried that you are a bad person, it’s extremely unlikely that you are. Bad people don’t sit around worrying that they are bad.

[bardass]

see, i thought this was the case as well until my therapist contested it. because while getting over that initial task initiation procrastination barrier is helpful and actually doing the scary thing does make me feel a little better sometimes…there’s always going to be more tasks. it isn’t healthy to be living in a constant reactive state where you’re always putting out fires as tasks come up. you need to be proactive. it’s your mindset about the tasks that is going to determine how you feel about them. it isn’t the problems that are the Problem, it’s how you approach and deal with them.

how my therapist explained it is that you need a robust toolbox of various coping mechanisms that will make it easier and less stressful for you to deal with issues on the day to day. because things are always going to come up, but if you have enough supports in place—therapy, medication, friends and family, exercise, healthy sleep, nutritious diet, time spent in nature, meditation, mindfulness, adaptability, self-confidence, etc.—then the tasks won’t seem so big and scary because you’ll have the tools and faith in yourself to handle them.

you can stop stressing at any time, actually. you can achieve inner peace in any situation. you can be the serene eye within the storm instead of getting swept up in it. i’m not saying it’s easy, it takes a lot of time and practice to even remember to look at the bigger picture—to see that things usually aren’t as big of a deal as you think, or that things will be okay if you just breathe and stop holding on to that fear and anxiety so tightly. but it gets easier. sometimes you just need to take a step back, and tackle things one step at a time.

TL;DR: If every task is stressing you out, maybe it’s not just the tasks, maybe you need more coping skills to support your general state of being

[thegreatgremlingang]

*Rage post may delete later*

just went and saw a meta about Jiang Cheng being underappreciated for getting Wei Wuxian out of the Xuanwu cave and stuff and I was scrolling through the comments being like "awwwww" "yeah that's right" 'damn straight" "yeeeheeahhhh" and then I just saw this FUCKING COMMENT being like "eeerrrmmmm that still doesn't excuse what he did to wwx he's such a nasty ass human being omg" and idk why but it just flipped some sort of mental rage switch in me and HRRRRRNGH like the little smile was WIPED OFF MY FACE and my intestines crackled from the sudden rise in blood pressure and like jc antis can you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE chill and leave us the fuck alone

I don't want to die young from health complications

my entire dash was full of jc metas and ofc discourse and this fucking comment just pushed me over the edge

jc antis PLEASE PLEASE leave the stans ALONE and go drink some orange juice or something please do something productive you've got better things to do that shitting on jc and the people that choose to like him

even if he's straight up evil (he isn't) that's not your fucking problem isn't it people can stan literal villains in other fandoms and nobody cares so why do you guys have to be such control freaks

I don't see the xue yang antis and Jin Guanyao antis behave in this rabid ass sort of way just CALM DOWN and stop trying to make us argue with you on whether Jiang Cheng beats Jin Ling on a daily basis or if he puts emo teenagers in wood chippers or something

what even is the purpose of all the shit you get up to? Is it going to make Jiang Cheng hear you through the fourth wall? Is he going to drop to his knees and apologize to Wei Wuxian? NO! Is it going to make us stans see the "errors of our ways" and go hate on Jiang Cheng with you? NO! Is it going to summon Wei Wuxian so he can host a fan meetup and give you a hug and his autograph and his eternal friendship? NO!!! Is it going to drive Wei Wuxian to put Jiang Cheng in a wood chipper? NO!!! Is it going to make Jiang Cheng become real so y'all can put him in a wood chipper? N O !!!!!!!!!!!

Listen. Just like how we can never convince you to stan Jiang Cheng, you can never convince us to do whatever is your endgame. So I suggest you go to your own little corner of the fandom, stop bothering us, let us be "delulu" in peace, and get a fucking life.

phew!

Now I feel much better! Thanks for coming to my Ted talk and don't forget to tune in next time! bye bye!

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Sunday Sentences 4/7/2024

hello hello hello friends and thank you so much for all the tags already today from so many people I'll put under the cut

Even though I've been suffering from major bi-weewoo-confirmed brainrot, (a related wip has been started) I've managed to squeeze out a little more of the taynick coachella fic.

Nick follows Taylor into his bedroom and looks around. The walls are covered with photos of him smiling with his friends and family. He has a framed photo of his younger self on his nightstand – he can’t be more than seven or eight years old – and there’s already some clothes spread out on the bed.  “What’s all this?” Nick asks as he gestures to the bed. “Honestly? I didn’t think we’d find anything at your place so I pulled out a couple options before I came over.”  “Thanks for the bode of confidence, you little fucker.” 

tags from: @duchessdepolignaca03 @wordsofhoneydew @onthewaytosomewhere @sunnysideprince @nocoastposts @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @getmehighonmagic @magicandarchery @littlemisskittentoes @thinkof-england @captainjunglegym @firenati0n

some no pressure tags: @sparklepocalypse @anincompletelist @eusuntgratie @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @cha-melodius @heysweetheart-writes @affectionatelyrs @happiness-of-the-pursuit @lostcol @onward--upward @sheepywritesfics @groversimhadri @taste-thewaste @cactusdragon517 @inexplicablymine @dreamsinthewitchouse @doublecheekeddiaz @fivequartersoftheorange @oxfordslutphase

[rosylamb]

You’re beautiful, I wish I could spoil you so much.

My friend . . ! ! ! ⊹ ｡⋆ 💛 🎀

I was so surprised by this I almost didn’t know what to say :’)

Thank you so much for your kind words !! ♡

You don’t need to though, cus I already have a lot to be grateful for!

Like even today I had blessings — there was enough money left over for ice cream and snickerdoodle cookies !! Yay !!!

*Plus* it’s also good enough weather for me to go outside tonight to see the pretty star cluster that’s gonna be next to the moon! ♡

(The fall & winter months always have the nicest stars & constellations out! I love stargazing this time of year, cus it’s so much fun !! You should try it if you do not already!)

I’m just so happy today hehe :D

What about you? Are you happy, too, my friend ?? If you are not then I pray that you find a reason to smile soon, my friend c:

Sending hugs, hearts, *and* one of my snickerdoodle cookies or another flavor if you don’t like that one !!

Please take care, stay safe, and have a really really fun day ~ !! ୨ XOXO ୧

💛 🎀 ⊹ ｡⋆ 🧸♡ ⋆˙⊹ 🌼 🧁

[quinloki]

When you have a hot second, can you give us the birthday kink updated list? Like what's done, in progress, etc.?

The last few have been 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Sure! - Wait, what's done?!

... 😮

39 gifts are what's done so far. O_O I'm trying to think if there's a relatively easy way to list all of them...

Ahem, what's LEFT from the original list I posted a while back are: Kyros x AFAB reader dom!Ace x cisfem!reader Marco/Law x cisfem!reader Kaku x cisfem!reader Hongo x afab!reader Sasaki x cisfem!reader Law x cisfem!reader Heat x blank reader type Izou x blank reader type Heat x afab!reader Rosinante x cisfem!reader Sub!Eustass x Dom!cisfem!reader Sabo x nb!reader X Drake x cisfem!reader Doffy x afab!reader Akainu x afab!reader (whew this will be a challenge)

Added to that are: SuperSubbySanji x F!Reader (I might have to trash this, idk that I have the actual ability to write this as requested, but I mean to try) Softdom!Beckman x blank reader type Ace x Law x cisfem!reader Rayleigh x cisfem!reader Rayleigh x Shanks x cisfem!reader [Spoiler threesoms] x blank reader type Dom!Buggy x cisfem!reader

So that's what there is to look forward too.

For what's written:

I have it as a "book" on Wattpad just because it's so painfully easy to toss it up there.

Everything - I've triple checked - is tagged with "birthday request event" here on tumblr so you can follow that tag and read them.

I honestly might be doing these into September (Which is fine by me) I'm taking care not to burn myself out on them, and still work on my multi-chapters too. (plus work, D&D, etc.)

I'd list out all the combos.. but T-T that's a lot of typing. so have some referential screen shots of the chapter list off of Wattpad XD

[cosmic-ships]

Changed my icon because HOW COULD I NOT!? HULLO!?

[inkykeiji]

my boyfriend got some new aftershave that smells like sandalwood so he’s basically bmb tomura now~

[chatdae]

Robert Redford as Jay Gatsby was really good at expressing different sides of the character. Sometimes Gatsby seems really mature and distant; other times he seems really adoring and earnest, yet still mature; other times he seems completely starry-eyed and naive. A lot of this comes from the script and visuals but still, I think Redford is a big part of it. By the end of the movie, Gatsby really seemed like a dreaming teenage boy in a man's body

Special nod to the way Redford delivers "Loved me...too?" during the argument at the hotel. It was palpable just how pitifully incapable Gatsby was of imagining Daisy in a way that wasn't absolutely perfect

[t00thpasteface]

when i'm writing any kind of marcien anything i have to be very careful to make sure lucien is still a bastard with fucked up morals, and martin is still a little bit of a morally gray nihilist, lest i cross what i refer to as the Superbat Event Horizon

[wickedhawtwexler]

unhinged moron behavior (affectionate)

[colourmeblood]

From the ask game :

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

May I add and why? (Loving how they sound is a perfectly acceptable answer)

Three different words came to my mind and they are definitely among my faves from my native language. Please keep in mind they’re not useful though 😅

1. Nietoperz (a bat) - aside from the fact I tend to be, well, batshit crazy about bats, this word actually comes from old Slavic for “night flyer”. I totally understand it why for example French or German include the word “mouse” in their words for “bat”, but I do find “night flyer” both more badass and cuter, if that makes sense

2. Kombinować (to think of solution/to make your way through something/ to come up with a smart solution) - translations are a veeery big stretch here ‘cause there is no exact or precise word in other language, really. This word can also mean that you come up with a solution that is smart but not always safe or fair 😂

3. Dziabąg (it can mean any small/weird/unidentified creature, I use it synonymously as “little devil” and for example I’ve called my cat like this on multiple occasions)

[sideblog505]

I think that when you go looking for answers and try to be objective about everything, you can end up going kind of crazy bc most things don’t make sense. And most people don’t. Not everything is connected or means more than what it seems. Things aren’t as orchestrated as they seem. People are what they seem to be. Most people are just as unaware of their own intentions and actions as we feel we sometimes are. Because we never do the things we do for the reasons we think we are doing them for. Even when we are so sure, we are to some extent, oblivious to our own motivations. Maybe we are exactly what we think we are not. But who knows right? As dumb as it sounds to state something so obvious, that’s been hard for me to grasp I think

See I’m not even sure what I’m trying to get at here

Like is this the kind of mess you end up in when you don’t live intentionally?

[unboundbnha]

I’ve started *gags, chokes* writing….again….*spits out blood, gasps and gurgles as I fall to the ground*

[strawberista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅ ⚅— @petitprincekiryu —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

The question got a raucous laugh from the barista, and remembering well what he'd ordered last time he started on repeating that order again. "Oh, no, I have done some very stupid shit since the last time we talked. Absolutely, I've been a dumbass. But hey, ya learn from that sorta stuff, right? And alla the folks I hurt, I've had the good fortune to make amends with them. I'll never forget what I did, but I think it's alright now."

His cafe had made some changes as well. There were new items on the menu and new blends, things that he'd been experimenting with and perfecting. And since it was getting around the season, he was putting out the pumpkin donuts and coffee (though the coffee wasn't actually on the menu, a secret item for certain sweet-tooth customers), and there were even more posters and art pieces on the walls. The music of the district had settled considerably as well. The Composer and Producer both had been going to therapy, and though it had largely sacrificed their relationship, they were both in a much better place now.

Hands worked as seamlessly as before, and if he hadn't said it outright it might have been difficult to tell anything had changed with him at all. Aside from the anxiety that no longer weighed heavy on his shoulders, he seemed just the same as any other counterpart of himself. Careless and happy, full of life and light in his element here in the shop. And excited for a visitor he hadn't seen in such a long time.

"And that is to say, I'm working hard to make sure I don't make the mistakes I did in the past. I hurt a lotta people in part because of my own trauma and insecurities. I'm actively working on myself now, trying to learn how to work with the things I struggle with. I won't go into too much detail since it concerns from friends'a mine, too, but ya know. I apologized and I did what I could to fix the damage I had caused. They've forgiven me now, and I don't want to forget it or the actions leading to my growth, but I'm trying not to talk about it too much to respect the privacy of the other parties. You understand."

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Doting

Tags: jjk men as dads, tooth-rotting fluff, comfort drabbles

Synopsis: How the JJK men treat you while pregnant (spoiler warning- they dote on you.)

An: This is my formal apology for writing Nanami angst on the “Baby’s first words” post 😔 it will never happen again (can we stop with the death threats now?)

SATORU • SUGURU • TOJI • SUKUNA • NANAMI

SATORU

Oh, your loving husband is all over you while you’re pregnant. He genuinely has such a cute fascination with all the changes your body is going through. He seriously thinks you’re so strong for carrying his heir.

He loves rubbing your bump. In fact, he will always be touching it in some form or fashion while you two are together. When he’s away on missions, he has you send him pictures and updates on your pregnancy as if anything major has changed in a couple of days.

You best believe he is ready to indulge you on your every craving, no matter how strange. It’s three a.m and you’re crying because you need that specific brand of chicken wings and a can of whip cream? He’s heading to the store immediately to fetch whatever you tell him to.

He genuinely worries about being a good dad. Many nights he lays his head on your bump and talks to you about how teaching didn’t come naturally to him. He wasn’t born knowing how to meet people where they’re at. He use to expect people to be able to meet him on his level. He worries that he may inadvertently put a lot of pressure on his kid, and that’s the last thing he wants due to how he was raised. He just wants his kid to be a kid.

He’s the best, most loving and compassionate dad to your baby, more than you could ever hope for. Even if teaching didn’t come to him naturally, being a father did.

SUGURU

He’s such a “sit down and let me do it for you” while you’re pregnant. He cooks, cleans, works, and tends to you completely throughout your pregnancy.

Suguru gets hyper fixated on your health during pregnancy. He only feeds you the yummiest and healthiest foods while you’re pregnant. He encourages for you to sit on the yoga ball and do (very) light exercises. He just wants the best for you and his baby.

Whenever I said he tends to you, I genuinely mean he tends to you. He’ll gently brush your hair at night time, rub your back when your belly is becoming heavy to carry around, serve your breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, carries around emesis bags and breath mints for if you get morning sickness while you two are out.

This man is the king of enforcing your boundaries to people when they don’t listen. That really annoying family member that insists on being there for the birth even though you’ve already explained to them that you want this to be an experience for just you and Geto? Yeah, he’s made it very clear to them that they will not be at the birth if they want to be in your kid’s life.

He is absolutely not afraid to hurt feelings if it means his wife and future child are safe and cared for. He really don’t give a fuck who anyone else is. You and his child are first priority.

TOJI

Toji is definitely the type to express his love and devotion for you in other ways than the most conventional methods.

He is so incredibly gentle while you’re pregnant. He doesn’t rile you up as much or play fight with you anymore. He constantly reminds himself that you’re carrying another life inside you and that you have enough on your plate.

This man… whew does he love seeing you pregnant. Toji’s the type of man to feel so feral when he looks at you heavily pregnant with his kid.

He adores your body. He’ll rub lotion all over you and oils to help your skin accommodate to the stretch of carrying a kid. He massages your body and absolutely worships it while he’s rubbing the lotion and oil on you.

Your breasts are sore? He’ll gently massage them until they feel better. Your back hurts? He’d be the type to lift your bump up and take the weight off you for as long as you ask him to so you can feel relaxed for a few minutes.

And look this is probably TMI but like, if you got a clogged milk duct due to breastfeeding, Toji would unfortunately be the type of man to fix that issue with his mouth. i’m sorry but he would.

Final thing is, you better believe that he doesn’t allow anyone to get too close to you. He is so unbelievably protective over you while you’re pregnant. If he could, he’d lock you up at home to prevent anyone from getting close to you.

SUKUNA

On the outside, he acts very nonchalant and unbothered by your pregnancy. On the inside, he is constantly plagued by the thought that your body may not be able to carry his heir. The thought of losing you or his child haunts him.

He will secretly observe and take notes on your body and how it is changing. If he catches you expressing any sort of short windedness, he will immediately send you off to bed rest. Though, you’re usually able to convince him to take you off of it by the next day.

The only servant he trusts to tend to you is Uraume. No one else in his court is allowed to be anywhere near you unless he gives specific instructions. Still, he hates leaving you in the care of Uraume. He trusts them, but he wants to be the one to take care of you.

He loves holding your body close to him at night. All four arms are wrapped around you and holding you closely. Since he doesn’t need much sleep, he will stay awake rubbing on your tummy all night long. One time, he felt the baby moving in your stomach while you were asleep. He was so intrigued that he woke you up and told you to “make them do it again”.

Now, he will randomly approach you at any given time while you’re heavily pregnant and hold his hand out so he can feel his baby moving around inside of you. It soothes his worry.

During birth, Sukuna was a complete mess. The amount of blood lost during birth fucking terrified him. He was panicking and yelling at anyone to do something to save you, even while everyone was assuring him that you’re okay and this was natural.

After 9 long excruciating months of extreme worry and constant fear, he finally feels peace when he’s cradling a newborn in his arm and a sleeping wife in the other arm. All of his hard work to protect you paid off he thinks.

NANAMI

Oh, to be pregnant by the king of domestic love himself.

Nanami is the type of man to immediately start working on a nursery for you as soon as you reveal to him that you’re pregnant. He immediately changes the guest bedroom into a nursery that you design for your little baby.

He reads up on all the parenting books and articles. He’s constantly compiling things to either do or to not do during pregnancy and even while raising a kid.

Like Geto, he tends to your every need. He is a total house husband all while working 40 hours a week. When he’s at work, he is constantly calling and texting you to make sure that you’re okay and taking care of yourself, but let’s be fr he literally did everything for you before he even left for work (meal prepped for you, set out your clothes for you, put out all your self care items in case you want to bathe).

When you express concerns of your body getting bigger to him, he does everything in his power to show you that he loves and respects your body for creating life. He literally cherishes and worships your body for hours if you let him.

Like Toji, Nanami is protective over you. He constantly has an arm around you if you two are in public, and he watches everyone who dares to get close to you like a hawk. If he gets a bad vibe about anyone, he’s immediately stepping in front of you and taking over the conversation.

Nanami is the best partner to have during birth. His reading of articles during your pregnancy really paid off. He is supportive without being overbearing. He listens to your needs and tends to you without question. Constant praise and encouragement while you’re giving birth. The moment he gets to snuggle with you and the baby is the moment he realizes that he cultivated the life of his dreams. He has the family he always wanted.