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iammarylastar · 7 years

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Warning: racist content, violence and blood.

Chapter 4: Troubles

“Awww! What a gorgeous baby you have there! Boy or girl?”

The lady of the immigration service who was in charge with them couldn’t stop babbling, a wide grin taped on her face.

“She was meant to be a boy. She’s a she!” Stefan showed off, his precious baby girl in his arms.

“What a drop dead gorgeous lady! How old are you Princess?” She dropped her pen to reach out and stroked the fatty calves of the wiggling baby girl.

“She will hit 6 weeks in a few days. She was born on board!”

“She is a beauty! Congratulations and ̀ welcome to Australia!” She nicely said. Australian seemed to be very nice and welcoming people.

“And what’s your name, little angel?”

“Miss Lizzy Gibson! You’re not paid to talk rain and good weather with migrants but to register them.” Her boss coldly called her to order.

Blushing furiously to be scold like a child, the young woman adjusted her glasses up her nose, grabbed her pen back, cleared her throat and asked, a serious frown between her eyebrows:

“OK. Name?”

“Courtney.” Stefan proudly announced, lifting the tiny girl up to tickle her chubby cheek with his nose.

“Well. Your first name Ma'am?” She conscientiously wrote down the precious information.

“Mieke.” She answered, making the woman stop writing.

“Jewish?” She quirked an eyebrow. The woman nodded shyly but kept her eyes straight on hers.

All the Jewish people who disembarked here in Sydney usually looked exhausted, frightened and lost, averting their gaze down to the floor, trembling in fear to be beaten to death or worse while confessing their religion. They’d often lost everything : family, friends, house, honour and dignity. But not those two. Three. The young couple seemed happy and blessed, together with that cutie pie the man held lovingly against his chest.

“You?” She asked the man, suddenly hit by his stunning blue gaze, her mouth getting dry before such an handsomeness.

“Stef… Stephen.” He hesitated. And got obviously uncomfortable. Weird.

“And where are you from?” Her job was also to find out traitors or Nazis. Her hierarchy’s instructions were to send any suspicious case to the upper stage, where strong men would roughly get the truth out of them.

“London, England.” The woman firmly uttered.

That made sense, their accent sounded European’s. Most of the candidates to exile came from this troubled part of the world. The man, as handsome as he looked, was still acting suspiciously, nervously stroking and patting his newborn’s back, shifting from one foot to another in a too fast pace.

Nonetheless, she couldn’t resolve herself to denounce his strange behaviour, promising him and the whole family to the hell of policy questioning, demand in custody during what could be a months-long investigation.

“And I guess you lost your identity papers… whilst the destruction of your house?” She started, her long, meaningful look inviting Mieke to complete the story.

“Yes. An air raid destroyed all the��area where we lived. These two suitcases are all we have now. And her.” Mieke spoke, subtly shoving back in her pocket the false documents she had been fiddling for the beginning of their encounter. Covering her husband’s hand with hers, stroking both her man and child, she threw a begging stare at the woman.

“I’m so sorry to hear about such a tragedy. Thanks God you’re safe. And your daughter will have a good life here.”

“Again welcome to Sydney Mr and Mrs Courtney. I wish you the very best, for you and miss… Jesus I forgot to note it!”

Stefan opened his mouth, the woman obviously misunderstood what he had said, but Mieke cut him off.

“Brittany. We thought it could be a nice reminding of where she’s from. It’s out little Bree.” She lied with such self-assurance Stefan thought for one second it was true.

Plus he liked how it sounded. A hint of Brandt, a hint of their past. The perfect name for their baby girl. The perfect mix of their past to start to build their future. A brighter future for them all.

“Owww! How beautiful name you’re wearing darling!” She rambled in awe again, while writing the name down the precious paper. She checked all the items were filled then stamped the three copies, and handed one to Mieke.

“You have me disturbed from my task, little doll. Sorry I can’t resist to kiss her, may I?”

She was already up her chair, walking around her desk. She stopped near Stefan, waiting for permission. He nodded though he felt like she was playing tricks to take his daughter from him and throw him in jail for misspelling his name or caught in the act of lying.

He relaxed a bit whilst crossing the genuine shiny gaze with which she looked at his offspring. Lightly patting the baby girl’s back, she attacked her chubby cheeks, stroking and kissing every pieces she could.

“Ohhh little princess you’re so adorable!” She glanced at Mieke, both women had a large grin taped on their faces. Women. ..

“I’m already fond of her! ”

“Miss Gibson! ” the boss barked from behind them. “Contact with migrants is totally forbidden, so have I to remind you the consequences of disobey an order?”

Startling, the woman squeezed quickly Stefan’s hand and rushed back to her desk, apologizing to her grumpy boss, her look on the floor.

Sitting down, she gathered the papers spread on her desk, mumbling to the couple.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Was worth the reprimand.” Then spoke louder the usual speech “Welcome to Australia Mr Courtney. The authority will study your case and you’re waited next month with wife and child to finalize your identity papers and immigration file.”

She wrote down the date and time of the appointment on a squared paper and reached out for Mieke to take it. Miss Gibson winked at the couple, placing her forefinger on her lips to seal whatever secret she wanted to keep from her boss’ ears.

Stefan grabbed then yanked at Mieke’s wrist, making her face and bump into him. Stealing her lips in a searing kiss, he pinned her roughly against the wall of their new flat.

Gasping for air, Mieke whispered whilst being nipped and licked along her neck.

“Stefan, what’s that for?”

Not that she was complaining, but it has been a long, stressful day and she craved to test their bed.

They had walked across the whole town, seeking after an address miss Lizzy had scrawled in the back of the appointment note.

128 Kookaburras Street, Sydney. Ask for Cora. Good luck. Lizzy Gibson.

They had finally reach the street, exhausted and soaked in sweat, Mieke’s arms burned and hurt for holding miss Courtney, Stefan’s shoulders and hands dead for lifting the two luggage for miles. Both had worn their heavy woolen coats all the way, under the hard sun of the Australian summer.

Cora was Lizzy’s cousin. She lived in a small house which had an extra tiny flat to rent next door. She was as in love at the first sight with baby Bree as Lizzy had been and more than happy to have that lovely couple as neighbours.

The two floors furnished flat was cozy, there was just a kitchen and a water closet downstairs and a bedroom upstairs. No bathroom here but she nicely offered them to use hers as often as they needed. Plus a free babysitter whenever they want or need to entrust the little girl.

Bree was soon asleep, they manage to make a crib with a blankets and a big basket they borrowed to Cora. Time to settle down and enjoy their new home. Mieke would happily crash down their bed and sleep for the next three days.

The way her husband grinded against her thigh made her realize they could test all their new bed’s potential.

He grinned against her skin, teasing her:

“I just can’t wait to start our honeymoon babe. ”

“Honeymoon?" It must be the Australian thick air, they’ve been married for 6 months already and had enjoyed a long, sensual, suave and Earth-shattering honeymoon in London.

"I’ve never got to make love to my new wife.” Lifting her up swiftly from the ground, he walked her towards their bedroom, which he intended to fully take advantage of.

“Come here, Mrs Courtney, let’s have some fun in there.”

Unfortunately, all the money they had saved wasn’t worth that much then. Untoward side effect of an economy being in war. Marvin provided a job on the docks to Stefan, they needed arms to unload the cargos down the ship. After only three days of getting up at the crack of dawn and lifting too much heavy stuff till sunset, Stefan had to forfeit, the wound on his stomach hurt like a bitch and he got fever, which had Mieke worried to death.

Marvin worried too and strictly forbad Stefan to come back to work. He promised him to find a job more appropriate, like truck driver or foreman but in no case he would want to see Stefan lifting heavy boxes.

That stubborn German insisted to leave the bed and have his job back. He had to afford the rent and refused to see Mieke forced to leave their daughter to work herself to death.

“I’m not the one who’s dying for working my ass off.” She snapped at him when he wretchedly fell on the floor, too weak to stand up straight.

“Stop scolding me woman. You’d better bring your little ass here and give me a hand to get up.” He laughed when she wiggled her ass before his nose, pretty sure it could help him to get better.

Pulling on his hand, she managed to have him up, letting him lean heavily on her shoulder. Stefan stumbled back, hooking his arms around her waist, making them both tumble on the bed. He rolled over her, hissing from some pain coming from his abdomen.

She laughed out loud when feeling his not-weak-anymore member which was grinding against her belly.

“Let me practice you once or twice. It will help to recover faster.” He teased in her ear, biting on her neck.

“Word.” She just uttered, before being kissed roughly and hearing her panties torn and thrown to the side.

* They got up early that day. They were expected at the Immigration department to get their official Australian documents as political refugees. They were registered as English citizen and with a job and respectable situation, it won’t be long before they got their Australian citizenship. Technically, Courtney -damn her name is Brittany now- could be considerate as an Aussie, like they say Down Under, the boat she was born on flew the Australian flag. To tell the truth, none of them really cared. As long as they were together, a roof over their heads, happiness filling their plates.

New name, new start, new life.

They celebrated that day by having one of the best sex they’d ever had, laughing between their sighs of pleasure, him tickling her sides while she was purposely leaving marks on his neck.

Had he been aware it was the last time he was making love to his wife, he would have made it last longer. He would have been more careful to record her slightest moans, the feeling of her lips on him, the softness of her skin and curves. Every line of her beautiful face.

Wails coming from the crib forced them to get out of bed, and get ready for their appointment.

Knock, knock.

Stefan quickly put a shirt on and walked downstairs to open the door to this unexpected visitor. Probably Cora, their neighbour, who was used to bring them extra veggies or bottle of milk she had. Or someone turned angry by their loud screams of their latest ecstasy. He chuckled at the thought as he grabbed the doorknob.

“Mr Stephen Courtney? " Two men all suited in seriousness and black uniforms were standing on the threshold, papers in hand.

"Yes?”

He thought Australian authorities were so kind to bring them the documents at home. It would keep them from a long walk across the city; Rain was beginning to fall, and he wouldn’t want Courtney -Bree, he wasn’t used to call her that- to be soaked and grumpy. He drew a filthy smirk on his face; he could put the baby back in her bed and Mieke back to their.

“Does a certain Captain Stefan Brandt mean something to you, Mr. Courtney?” The man asked.

His heart stopped. His mouth got dry. His grip tightened on the knob, his knees getting weak for a second.

“No.” He curtly replied.

Mieke popped up behind him, and stopped the baby talk she was singing to Courtney. Bree.

“We were talked a German SS officer by the name of Stefan Brandt had arrived by sea with wife and kid, and tries to hide behind false name here in Sydney.”

Despite the stabs in his guts, Stefan -Stephen!- stood up straight, poker face.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m afraid I can’t accept your answer Mr. Courtney. The sailor who spit out the information was pretty clear: a tall dark blond male with blue eyes and a damn pretty brunette who gave birth in the ship to a lovely baby girl, about 6 weeks ago. How old is your baby girl Mr Courtney? If I’m not mistaken, you told the immigration service lady she was born on board.”

Connor.

This stupid Irish was almost dumb with an empty stomach, but completely unable to hold his tongue after three drinks.

Stephen clenched his teeth, and didn’t answer.

Staring coldly behind his shoulder, the man continued :

“Does that pretty lady of yours know about that?”

“No. She doesn’t.” He cut him off.

“If I may, I’d love to hear it from her.” He insisted, one step forward.

“No, you may not." Stefan stepped back to protect his wife and child.

"Now if you would excuse us, we’re expected.” Stefan grabbed Mieke’s hand, interlocking their fingers together. No. Nobody would divide them.

The man stiffened and reached his arm out, preventing them to walk further out.

“I’m sorry but you’re not going anywhere. You’ll follow us to the police station where we’ll proceed to an official interrogation. I’d like to clear some things up about who you are. Or who you pretend to be.”

Mieke crushed her husband’s hand, holding her breath. No. Not that curse again. She bit her lips which were going to whisper her husband’s name. She wouldn’t risk making a mistake and jeopardize his chance.

“Baby…” she tried.

The tense filled the air around them and Brittany started wailing, her cries getting louder despite her mother’s attempt to calm her down. Losing battle.

The man in black grinned devilishly. “Think wise, Mr. Courtney or whatever your name is. We ’re empowered to use the force if necessary and there are things nobody here is willing for your wife and your adorable child to witness. Aren’t we?”

Stefan clenched his teeth, jawlines sharp. He could feel Mieke trembled. Following these guys was the smartest thing to do, they had repeated their story again and again, to be ready for a moment like that. They had just pictured they would be settled in an office of the Immigration Department building, not here, on their own household. He nonetheless couldn’t resolve himself to let go off the knob he was pulverizing.

No. He won’t leave his house. He won’t leave his wife. Or his daughter. No way. He won’t allow anyone to jeopardize his family, his happiness. He couldn’t stand to figure out his baby girl growing up without her dad. Never let his devastating childhood happen again.

The man was not known to be patient. He was the head detective of the Sydney police department, in charge with the possibly ‘alien enemy’ cases. He was very skilled to detect the cheaters, he got nose for lies and inconsistencies in the stories that are a complete fabrication. He could worm the truth out of the toughest guy, beating up those rats was his favorite part of his job. He had some Nazis or deserters on his list of prides, and was craving to add this one. As cute as his little family seemed, he wouldn’t fool him. A German wuss and a Jewish princess, he shivered in disgust. He would never allow bad blood invade his country. Australia deserved the best of white, honest people.

The cries of the ashamed mixed-blood baby started to piss him off and the brazen faced standing still in front of him wrecked his nerves. He was the law, he was mandated by the Australian government to take that man for questioning. He had to submit to his authority.

“Please, follow me.” He ordered.

Stefan didn’t even move a finger, but tightened his grip on Mieke. He glanced at her, to snap once again to her gorgeous face, which was wasted by terror. She was clung to her screaming daughter, petrified by the situation.

Couldn’t they just be happy? Left alone, just the three of them?

“Now!” The man barked, grabbing Stefan’s wrist.

Game over.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Stefan yanked at the man’s grip. He knew he was wrong -oh yes he was- but he saw no other options.

Though the man was short and skinny, he was quick to strongly punch Stefan in the face, then in the guts, obviously used to fight.

Mieke screamed as she witnessed his husband crashing down the floor, grunting loudly as he wrapped his arms on his stomach.

She jumped forward to grab his husband, the baby roaring out in her other arm. The man bluntly pushed her backward, purposely crashing a foot on Stefan’s hand as he poorly tried to roll on all four.

“Bastard!” He growled between his teeth, the taste of blood invaded his mouth. “Stay away from her!”

The man bent over his face, pressing his heel harder on Stefan’s hand, eliciting a loud rumble from the back of his throat.

“Are you giving me orders, Mr. Courtney? Do you think you’re allowed to open your mouth? I gave you the opportunity to talk lately but you just screwed it up.” He lifted his heel just enough to crash it violently back on Stefan’s hand.

Stefan howled in pain, curling his knees under his chest in a desperate attempt to stand up.

“Down!” He yelled at Stefan, kicking violently in his side again. “You’ll stand up only when I decide you could.”

“No!” Mieke screamed out, kneeling down near him.

The man kicked her roughly in the shoulder, making her fall hard on the floor. Tightening her grip on Courtney not to let her down, Mieke shrieked both in fear and rage.

“FUCK YOU!” Stefan shouted , tugging at the sleeve of the man who was threatening his family.

“Don’t you dare!" The man lost his nerves and hit Stefan like his fist was a hammer, again and again until his knuckles got red. Stefan could only glance at Mieke who was soaked in tears, hugging Courtney safely against her chest, rocking her to make her stop crying.

Then the man started kicking relentlessly on Stefan’s belly, smirking at the crack of his ribs. Gasping from a flash of pain, Stefan threw up, breakfast and blood, while hearing in the distance, his brain getting dizzy and confused:

"And consider yourself lucky I won’t throw your Jewish wife and spawn in a camp. They’re all full of rats and black beetles. I don’t want to add more garbage out there.” The man said in his ear, throwing a threatening glance to Mieke.

“Mieke…” Stefan weakly whispered.

The man viciously smirked in contentment. He had warned him, he was the law. He had power of life and death on strangers, mostly traitors to their countries. He doubted for a second that the guy was a soldier, a captain. He was so weak, despite his large frame and bulging arms.

The woman was still crying , the baby screaming for her little life.

“Shut the fuck up!” He growled at the two females, walking across Stefan’s body, a threatening fist over his head.

Mieke crept back against the wall, hiding her baby girl with her arms. The palm violently hit her face, making her head jerk to the side. Crouching down, the man wiped the tears that soaked her face, letting trails of blood, Stefan’s blood, on her bruised jaw.

“Look at you, poor lamb. Sometimes I feel like the Führer is right. Jewish aren’t better than those dirty natives. You’re even not able to find someone strong enough to protect you.” Narrowing his eyes to scrutinize her face and swollen cheek, he snorted.

“What a shame, you’ve got a damn pretty face. Stay hidden until the bruises disappear and then you could hook a bit to save money. Pretty Jewish princesses like you make good whores on the docks.”

She averted her eyes from his disgusting lustful stare and locked Stefan’s beaten face. Clenching her trembling jaws not to let a sigh or a sob out, she silently cry watching the waste that was her husband.

Stefan couldn’t move a thing, turning his head to witness that bastard hit his wife was already a miracle. Tears flowing down his face, blood slipping out from his cut mouth, he made a lame attempt to reach out his hand towards her.

“Mieke..” he barely whispered, bubbles of blood spitting from his mouth and nostril.

“DAMMIT! This vermin is hard to knock down!” The man left Mieke to face the nearly unconscious body of that so-called Mr. Courtney.

One last kick in his abs, one last punch on his jaw, one last heart-rending scream from Mieke calling his name covered by his daughter’s cries. Then nothing.

Black out.

@tigpooh67 @jaicourtneyseyes @kenziKen @bookwarm85 @beautifulramblingbrains @jaihardy @badassbaker @pathybo @jojuarez

@singingpeople @pernilleals @beltz2016 @captstefanbrandt @writingismyhappytime @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @jaihardi @ashtotes @muremlinchen @anditcametopass

@societalfailure

@red-diary

#the exception #troubles #chapter 4

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nebris · 5 years

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In the future, will the English language be full of accented characters?

Here's something to think about as you sip your latté (or your piña colada) while listening to Beyoncé (or Mötley Crüe): Just how important to the English language are accented characters? And will they withstand the test of time?

We've included accents in some words for a long time; after all, we like to steal words from languages such as French, Italian, and German. But they're not an official part of the English alphabet, partly because they weren't so easy to type or typeset, and partly because … well, they're not English, are they? But the letters w and j and q weren't English originally, either. Nor was the apostrophe. And the letters þ and ð were English until we got rid of them. So is the accent on its way out, or is it seeping in?

Technology has long influenced our use of letters in language. For example, English has always had the sounds we now spell with the letters th, but we used to be able to write them with þ and ð. When printing presses arrived from Europe, their sets of type didn't include those characters, so those characters disappeared. On the other hand, it wasn't until more recent centuries that English speakers (and writers) found it useful to have an official distinction between v and u and between i and j (before then, Julius was just another way of writing Ivlivs) or decided we had a use for the letter w that came from Europe. And we didn't really need q, but it looks so ... Latin! So, the sets of type for our printing presses included those letters.

In other words, we adopt letters for a handful of reasons: usefulness, aesthetics, and because, well, we simply can. We abandon letters when it becomes too difficult to write or print them out.

The apostrophe has a similar history. It was invented in Italy, introduced into French in the early 1500s to indicate a dropped letter (something French does a lot), and then borrowed into English later in the same century to indicate the same kind of thing: I'm, 'tis, can't. It also indicated a dropped e in the possessive, so Shakespeare's play Love's Labour's Lost was originally Loues Labour's Lost because the e was dropped from Laboures but not from Loues (remember that u and v weren't separate characters yet!). But the idea of using an apostrophe before s in all singular possessives — and after s in all plural ones — caught on over time, partly because it helped make some useful distinctions, but also because it made the speaker seem smart. And it was part of our sets of moveable type.

So what about accented characters? If English didn't steal words from everywhere, we probably wouldn't have much use for accents. We could use a mark to distinguish between, for instance, the noun and verb forms of protest (prótest versus protést), but we've gotten along for centuries without it. The New Yorker, probably unnecessarily, lets readers know typographically that it understands how to pronounce coördinate. But when we need to distinguish between rose and rosé, divorce and divorcé, expose and exposé, or resume and résumé, accents start to look very attractive.

They also have a certain exotic charm. As Emmy J. Favilla says in her BuzzFeed style guide A World Without "Whom," "I'm partial to using accent marks any chance I can get, because they are cute." Benjamin Dreyer, copy chief of Random House, makes his opinion clear in Dreyer's English: "Sojourning in a chateau can't be nearly as much fun as sojourning in a château." We have a lot of weird silent letters in English spelling (as in people, isle, phthisis) for no other reason than to display where we pillaged the word from, so we're certainly going to want to keep that extra soupçon of éclat on the façade of jalapeño. Otherwise we would look naive — sorry, naïve. It's no accident that so many accented letters are found in food terms; we take savory delight in what seems exotic.

And yet we just don't see them as truly essential. We no longer put the circumflex on rôle or hôtel. We often implement accents incompletely, rendering carménère (a type of red wine grape) as carmenère, Ångström (a very small unit of measurement) as Ångstrom, and résumé as resumé. And sometimes we add them where they didn't even exist in the source: latté, for instance, from Italian latte, which has no need of the accent because in Italian you always say the e; maté and animé likewise add an accent as acupuncture to rouse a final e that we might otherwise treat as silent, though the source languages had no such need.

Certainly they can be fashionable. The double-dot crown named variously the diaeresis and the umlaut (a name taken from the sound change it signifies, just like accent) is especially popular in branding, where it almost never indicates any difference in pronunciation. Branding expert Nancy Friedman maintains an ever-growing collection of decoratively umlauted names, starting with the band Blue Öyster Cult, progressing through Häagen-Dazs, on through Freshëns and Yogen Früz, and on to Söfft, Melōränge, and iögo.

But, as Friedman has pointed out, "The diacritical marks may make for spiffy logos, but they have a downside: They don't show up in the web address, and they're rarely reproduced in newspaper stories." In fact, accents are against the rules for newspaper stories: The Associated Press Stylebook says flatly, "Do not use any diacritical or accent marks because they garble for some users."

Obviously not everyone agrees with this. The New Yorker would not coöperate with anyone who wanted to take away its precious diaereses. The Chicago Manual of Style, the leading guide for many book publishers, plants its flag squarely in the accent camp: "Words, phrases, or titles from another language that occur in an English-language work must include any special characters that appear in the original language." And, technologically, Chicago is more with the times than the AP: We are not on typewriters anymore; Unicode has made a huge variety of accented characters widely available, and even smartphone users have the means to add every accent you'll find in almost any European language.

But as long as accents are for words "from another language," they're not really part of English. And that means accented characters aren't officially real in this language. At least not yet.

In the end, though, the gatekeepers of orthography are the editors. And the views of future generations of editors, who not only enjoy good typography, but tend to believe in getting things right, are more likely to favor the accent. And those who flatly scorn them risk being passé.

https://theweek.com/articles/843837/future-english-language-full-accented-characters?utm_source=pocket-newtab

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docholligay · 8 years

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News Of The Day

So I told you the Patreon was off for March (and it is. It’s automatically set to go on hiatus, and Patreon assures me you will not be charged, and, if it is, I will call and have it all refunded.) This is because, in this year of me and Jill preparing to settle down and have a baby, I am going to Europe. I’ll be gone between March 6th and March 31st.

Doc, that sounds like the worst possible way of settling down. Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up.

When I was a girl, going to Europe was my dream, and it was a dream that was like going to the moon--I come from a relatively poor background on both sides, particularly when I was young. No one in my family had been to the east fucking coast when I was a girl, I saw the ocean for the first time when I was 18 and only because I made it happen. But Europe, you see, was never going to happen, no matter how many avenues I tried, I was still a girl from the middle of nowhere who, regrettably had never been born into wealth.

I was talking to my boss about how it was something I’d always wanted to do before I had a baby, and I was sad that it was pretty clear that wasn’t going to work out. Jill had wanted to send me, but we just couldn’t make it work. It was a thing she really longed to do for me before we had a baby, but the truck broke, and we need a new water heater--the banal things of life. It was disappointing, but it was a dream I was going to let die.

My boss is a complex man, a rich white dude who nonetheless has a sense of compassion and generosity that occasionally strikes like lightning. So he gave me the money for plane tickets, train tickets, and a month off (unpaid). If you’re going to go once in your life, he said, try to make it count. SO I AM. I was originally going to go by myself, as I don’t have much trouble doing that, and actually enjoy a certain amount of solitude. I live in my head a lot. But ever since my Mom divorced my Dad she’s had a pile of money and weeks of vacation sitting there doing nothing, so I invited her to come along, and I thought she was going to cry with excitement.

The Patreon has been an amazing help, and is going to cover my bills while I’m gone. But since it’ll be off that month, and for some of you who have always wanted to toss a couple bucks my way, but don’t want the month to month thing, I decided to set something up specifically for this trip. I want to add that I don’t expect anything--y’all have done enough for me, frankly. And I’ll still be able to borrow money from Mom to make it work, so you’re not ruining my life. Basically, I’m just asking you to help me out with a lifelong dream I’m getting out of the way.

But there’s rewards! SHINY, FANTASTIC REWARDS. I’m not just asking for money, I want to do stuff for it. And when I say any character, I mean it. (Though, if I’m totally unfamiliar with even the property, you’re taking your life into your own hands) Want a postcard from Bill Cipher? PRETTY SURE I COULD KILL IT, ACTUALLY. A letter from Bastion? The most soulful beep and boops you’ll ever read. Usagi goes to the Paris Catacombs? DONE, WITH LOVE AND TENDERNESS.

So here’s the breakdown:

Any level: a photo post thanking you personally with a picture of me doing the thing!

Tier One: a postcard of the country, from either me or your favorite character! Mailed from Europe.

Tier Two: a two page ficlet of your fav character experiencing whatever you got me, or a two page letter from me about it. Mailed from Europe. Example of how I write about food here.

Tier Three: I buy you a small souvenir from said locale, and wrap it up with a letter from your favorite character or me. Mailed upon my return, I can’t figure out the post offices THAT well.

Tier Four: don’t do this, but if you want to, convo me first and we’ll work something out.

How to do this, if you want to:

Message me with what you want to sponsor and your email address. I’ll send you a request via paypal! And let me know which character(s) you’d like your letter/postcard from!

Again, I have no expectation of anyone doing this, so no worries. I thank you anyhow! You’re all amazing. This is a dream I never thought I would fulfill, and all of you have had no small part in making it a reality. I wish I could tell you how much it means to me, and I look forward to all the new shades of adventure we’ll have together.

THERE’S A LOT OF FOOD. I TRUST YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH ME.

Things that don’t cost anything are, obviously, not on here, so if you’d rather have a photo shot of say, Saint Chappele, and you get me a glass of wine, we can totally work that out.

London, England

Tier One

A pint in a pub! [$5, two available] I feel like this needs no description, and yet. Mom and I are actually making an informal tour of East End pubs for Very Important Research Purposes. Lena wants you to buy me a drink.

Fish and chips on the street [$12] Fish and chips is one of those things that’s iconic, and it may be terrible (lol just kidding fried food is amazing) but I feel honorbound to finally have a proper try at it.

Bubble and Squeak and other Breakfast Atrocities [$15] Occasionally, I plan something just for the secret knowledge. I need to know what the hell bubble and squeak tastes like. You need me to know what the hell bubble and squeak tastes like. So I found a traditional British place to show me!

Highgate Cemetary Tour [$15] There’s something that seems right about me wandering around in a park dedicated to the most beautiful ways of representing the mortality of humankind, do you think?

Oysters and Bubbly [$15] Ever since I read Tipping the Velvet, I feel like this is a quintessentially British thing, and I love the sea saltiness of oysters and the prickle of bubbly.

Tour of Winston Churchill’s War Rooms [$20] Help me get tips for the underground bunker I’m going to need to build when the gays declare war!

Tier Two

Tower of London and Crown Jewels [$30] All my favorite things! Murder, torture, imperialism, and tacky jewelry.

Afternoon Tea at the Ritz [$50] This is an exceedingly fancy little adventure, with delicate teacakes and a goddamn harpist, and I’ve always wanted to do it. I will FINALLY get to wear my special occasion dress.

Paris, France

Tier One

Glass of wine in a cafe [$7, five available] Again--when in Paris, drink like Parisians do. I would say Amelie wants you to buy me a drink, but I think we all know that’s a bold lie

A trip to the boulangerie next to our place [$12] I am well aware than in Paris, you can throw a rock and hit a bakery, but I’m still charmed by the idea that we have one so close.

Tour of the Paris Catacombs [$20] It’s a tunnel full of beautiful death. I belong here.

Fancy French chocolates [$20] There’s so many fine French chocolatiers, and we found a few near our place! This will get us a couple fancy chocolates to eat by the Seine

Lunch at a bistro with wine [$25, two available] There’s almost an overwhelming amount of food that looks good in Paris, and I am taking suggestions, but we found this little place that basically looks like cave that serves wine, and I’m all into it.

Tier Two

Lunch at Disneyland Paris at BILLY BOB’S WILD WEST BUFFET [$34] There is no way you don’t want me to share with the class French Disneyland’s understanding of the American West.

Dinner at a slightly nicer place, but also with wine [$40]

Tier Three

Day at Disneyland Paris [$70] One of my life goals, however shallow, vain, and foolish, is to go to every Disneyland/world before I die. This will make it two down and two to go and I think we all want to see my girlish excitement.

Tier Four

Cooking Class in Paris [$95] A cooking class with a professional chef! ANd we get to go to the market and selct stuff and make a four course meal and I have never taken a cooking class in my life so I am thrilled.

Zurich, Switzerland

Tier Two

A TRIP TO THE BIERGARTEN DOWN THE STREET WHERE NEITHER OF US HAVE ANY CLUE OF THE LANGUAGE BUT BY GOD I HAVE A PHRASEBOOK [$40] (beer and food both)

Munich, Germany

Tier One

Tour of BMW factory [$9] YEAH ME AT THE BMW FACTORY. I am completely overwhelmingly excited for this, and you want to hear about it.

Drink at a swanky rooftop bar [$16] Yeah this is A COCKTAIL, but we’re mainly going there to be Kaiohs for a moment in time, so I promise to savor it. Any excuse to wear my fancy dress!

Traditional Bavarian Food with a traditional Bavarian [$20] I confess I have no idea if I can even eat traditional Bavarian food, but by god I know the German word for pork and I have no fear.

Trip to Neuschwanstein Castle [$22] This also includes the little castle next to it! IF YOU THINK I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE AN EICHENWALDE JOKE, STOP YOURSELF RIGHT THERE.

Tier Two

Dinner at Hofbrauhaus: Sauerbraten of Alpine Oc, Dampfnudel, and a beer yes I already know what I’m ordering shut up [$31] Remember when I was liveblogging Bake Off and I said “Wtf is a dampfnudel? THEY HAVE THEM HERE. I WILL FINALLY KNOW.

Zagreb, Croatia

Tier One

Swanky cocktail at Hotel Esplanade [$12]

Drinks at THE HOBBIT PUB [$14] Oath assures there are many magical Croatian liquors that I have never tried, some of which may have me believing that I am, in fact, Gandalf by the end of the night.

Tier Two

Room service for swanky Sailor Moon Night [$30] There’s two here in case someone wants to buy food for Oath, too. or there were, but Jet’s bought Oath’s and told em to get my fucking own.

Dinner at Traditional Croatian restaurant [$33] I admit to having pretty limited knowledge of what Croatian food actually is, and assuming Oath isn’t just playing a massive trick on me and we’re actually performing some sort of fear factor for her amusement, we’re going to find out!

Wine Pairings for the fine dinner! [$55] The wines are specifically selected by a sommelier for each course, I’ve never had anything so fine and I can’t wait for the shade it brings to each course.

Tier three

12 course plated dinner in a fine restaurant [$77] You may have noticed a theme of doing Shit I Can’t Afford In America. Y’all, I am so excited for this, it’s the kind of meal one might find at the 400 dollar level or higher in the states. I have never, ever been able to afford something like this, and I am so excited.

Tier Four

Rental of a box at the Croatian National Theatre for Swan Lake [$100] Getting dressed all tony for our private box! Please believe that I am trying to get some tiny opera glasses, to complete the effect.

Night in a 5 star suite for Swanky Sailor Moon Night [$220] Oath and I, in a fancy hotel suite, Kaiohing it up and watching Sailor Moon over various Croatian liquors. THERE’S WIFI IN THE HOTEL YOU KNOW YOU’LL BE MISSING MY DRUNKEN POSTS BY THEN.

Tallin, Estonia

Tier One

SOUP BUFFET [$5] I love soup like I love few things on earth, and in Estonia it is apparently a THING, and we’re going to a great soup buffet for lunch

Soup and Pie at a restaurant owned by an adorable Russian couple [$6] My friend recommended this place to me specifically, because she knows any place I can get pie and soup is a place I love.

Drink a Western bar called “Tombstone” [$5] I MEAN COME ON

Tier Two

Trip to a whiskey and cigar bar [$16] A glass of whiskey and cigar is something I am going to be missing HARD by this point, I assure you

Tier Three

Dinner at Medieval merchant restaurant [$72] I’M GONNA EAT BEAR. This restaurant is the intersection of history and food, which you may note as one of my favorite things, and the meal we’re getting has a COUPLE kinds of game I’ve never experienced before.

I am also taking suggestions! And remember, I have meetups planned in London, Munich, and Paris! So let me know if you’d like to come.

Again, thank you so much for even bothering to read all this! I love you all!!

#holligay annoys the entire european continent

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gguktastic · 8 years

Text

Never let go.

I wrote this fic inspired by Nazi Germany and The Holocaust (I actually did research, people) and did research on what actions were actually crimes back then. Obviously, a German marrying a Jew and having some Sexy Times (ahem) with one is illegal, because it makes the child a, well, a Mudblood, if you will. It was also illegal for a German to support and give refuge to Jewish people in Nazi Germany. I hope @danhowellficsandimagines likes this fic that I wrote, and I’m hoping to be picked as their new admin! – Genre- Fluff. Pairing- Dan Howell x Reader. Narrator- Phil Lester. Setting- Nazi Germany. Warnings- Death.

–

The snow sprinkles down from the sky and onto the cold, hard ground. It looks hypnotising, and it is- I’ve been sat here, staring out at the snow for almost half an hour now. I am captured by its beauty, the pure, white snow falling to the gravel streets.

I nestle back even more into the crease I have formed on the backrest of my armchair, which was formed by the countless hours I sat in it, back pressed up against the rest, so that a spine-shaped crease had been formed into it. The gentle flames in the fireplace warm my cold feet, it’s steady crackling a lullaby. Breaking out of my hypnotised reverie, my attention is caught by a familiar laugh.

I sit up straight. Was it her?

'No, it couldn’t be,’ my mind whispers. 'She’s already gone, she’s never coming back.’

Being a 70-year-old, I had long ago learnt never to pay heed to what the tiny voice inside my mind said. Again, not caring what the little portion of my mind that was realistic said, I slowly rose out of my armchair, and set off in the direction of which the merry, twinkling sound of laughter came from.

Her laughter could brighten up the darkest room. The merry, tinkling and pleasant sound of her laughter put the wind chimes to shame. Her eyes, one could get lost in them. The way they would dance and twinkle in the light, they easily rivalled the beauty of the stars. Her hair made silk seem like the most coarse object on Earth.

It was such a hard job being her brother, having to protect her from the hormonal teenage boys that always tried to take her into their bed for one night, which they would then boast about to their friends.

I open the door to the her room, faded photographs tacked to the walls. It smells like her, her vanilla shampoo, which I would often use after running out of mine. I remember her always teasing me when I did borrow her shampoo for smelling like a 'woman’. I smile, remembering her mischievous grin as I groaned, exasperated.

I look around the room almost thrice, not trusting my eyesight to see her on the first go.

She wasn’t there.

Not even in the fourth time, she still wasn’t there.

But I heard her laugh come from here, didn’t I?

'You’re going crazy,’ said the little voice inside my head. 'You’re a loony old man. She’s gone, and she’s NEVER COMING BACK.’

I have had it. I sit down, heavily, on her made bed, and, as the first few tears fall down to the dusty, wooden floor, I don’t try and staunch their flow.

I start to sob.

I lay down on her bed, holding the fleece blanket close to my chest. I looked around, thousands of photographs flying past my gaze, when a particular photograph made me reach closer and pluck it off of the walls.

I felt like an intruder, disturbing the dust settled on it, and for ruining the shrine that I now treated her room as. I wiped the photograph on the leg of my trousers.

It was her, with Dan. She was grinning at the camera, her braid having come partially undone. Her left hand rested on her swollen belly, her right hand entangled with Dan’s who, for once, looked genuinely happy. I was going to be an uncle in just two months, [Y/N] and Dan parents.

Suddenly, I fall into a reverie as the dam restraining my memories breaks open, those moments swirling around in my head, begging to be remembered once again; to be cherished once more.

I oblige. // “Phil, go get the door,” [Y/N] mumbles, immersed into the plot of a new book that I had just bought her the other day, teeth slowly chewing on a honey-roasted cashew nut. It had been raining heavily, I wondered who could have knocked at this time.

“No, it’s your turn. I opened the door this morning when the postman came with a delivery for you, so it’s only fair you get the door now,” I say, immersed into the story of the newest sports scandal.

“Please, Phil,” She says, making me look up at her. She was pulling her 'please-do-what-I’m-asking-you-to-because-I-am-so-adorable’ face, under which my will crumbled. I sighed and got up from my armchair, the back rest beginning to mould itself into the shape of my spine because of the countless hours I spent sat in it.

I was, to say the least, immensely surprised to see a bloodied, 20-something man standing outside, shoulders hunched, his arm bent at a seemingly impossible angle.

“C- could you please grant me shelter? J-just for tonight, kind sir,” he says, his chocolate-brown eyes boring into my eyes, a kaleidoscope of colours, begging me to say yes.

“I- sure, come inside,” I say, opening the door wider for him to enter. His eyes turn from pleading me to being graciously grateful for my kindness. As he limps inside, the old floorboards creak, distracting [Y/N].

“Who was it, Ph- oh, oh my God!” She cries out, seeing the bloodied and injured man. She springs up to her feet, briskly walking towards him.

“Oh, dear, what has happened to you? Oh, you poor thing, come, have a seat,” she says, gently pushing him towards the armchair she had been seated at, him stretching out his feet onto the ottoman.

“Phil, please go and make some chicken soup for him, I’ll be right back,” she says, voice laced with concern, and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. There is a moment of silence, in which all we could hear was the opening and closing of drawers upstairs, when the young man breaks the monotony.

“Your w-wife?” He asks, voice husky. I grin at him.

“She’s my sister, dummkopf,” I say, and he chuckles.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that she’s very beautiful, and immediately thought that she was taken, because that’s what happens every time, doesn’t it?” He says, glancing towards the staircase. My gaze hardens, and my fists curl into a ball.

“Now hear me,” I say, my tone colder, grabbing his attention. “Whatever your name is-”

“I go by Daniel, but you are welcome to call me Dan.”

“Okay, so listen here, Daniel, we have granted you our hospitality, but that doesn’t mean that you try and take advantage of it by trying to get my sister into bed with you and then to boast about it to your friends like a typical German fellow. My sister is a respectable-” He interrupted me for the second time.

“I’m a Jew.”

Three words. Three words were all it took for my mouth to drop open. Without saying another word to him, I dashed up the stairs. My sister was kneeled down by the chest of drawers in my room, probably looking for some aid supplies for Dan.

Breathless, I said to her- “He’s a Jew.”

She froze. Then, without even looking at me, she said- “I don’t care whether he’s a German, a Jew, or even Adolf Hitler in disguise, we are going to protect him.”

Saying so, she walked down the stairs, various aiding supplies in her hands, soon disappearing out of my sight.

I could’ve never won that argument. I shouldn’t have even started it. // It’s been three years since Daniel James Adar Howell knocked on our door, that stormy night in the July of 1939, begging for shelter. In these three years, everything has changed.

For one thing, [Y/N] and Dan are married, meaning my beautiful sister is no more [Y/N] Adalicia Lester, she is [Y/N] Adalicia Howell. Her husband, Dan who, for the neighbours, was Daniel James Adalard Howell, was undoubtedly a bit scared of me, meaning he stayed well behind his boundaries when around me.

I had somewhat started to detest Dan after I saw him kiss my sister as she carried on her regular check of how his wounds were healing. She had just been about the bandage a small cut on his left cheek when he swiftly moved his face, cupping her cheeks with his abnormally large hands, and placed his lips upon hers. To my bitter surprise, [Y/N] kissed back. Later, as I sat reading the newspaper, they both walked up to me, hand in hand, and told me of their relationship. A year later, they got married. Another year, and [Y/N] was eight months pregnant, her and Dan preparing to be parents, while I was determined to be the best uncle a child could ask for. // “Phil, you’re finally here! Come, I want to have a whole family photo with you, Dan, and little Baby Boo here,” she said, patting her swollen belly with one hand, while she tugged me along to where the photo would be taken with the other. As soon as we took our places, a blinding flash went off and, when it subsided, all we could see were men in uniforms of the Nazi Party. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling someone push me, praying that this was all a hallucination, but when I next opened my eyes, I was sitting in the back seat of a black car, my wrists cuffed behind my back. I looked out of the tinted windows, and saw a sight that broke my heart.

My beautiful sister was pushed to the ground, but was held up by Dan before she could fall. It was Dan’s turn to take a blow, and he fell to the ground, a large bruise probably forming on his jaw from where an officer had punched him. [Y/N]’s carefully applied eyeliner smeared onto her cheeks as her face quickly turned red and blotchy from sobbing. She was being harshly pushed into a similar car, one like I was in, but the officers were stopped by some women taking a stroll on the near path, who appeared very upset after witnessing the harsh way the Nazis treated a heavily pregnant lady. The women talked to an officer and then, probably understanding the situation, gently helped [Y/N] into the car, and gave her what appeared to be a sad smile from what I could see. Dan was pushed into the same car soon after. // Three hours of waiting later, I was finally told that I had been sentenced to 15 years in prison for assisting and providing refuge to a Jew. I was almost ecstatic at the news - I wouldn’t be sentenced to death! Perhaps, after a good argument we could prove Dan to be German. [Y/N] too would escape with 15, or, if the court was very severe, about 20 years of prison time if we failed to convince them of Dan’s nationality. If we did fail, Baby Boo would just have to grow up without knowing his true, biological father. I would never let them take my [Y/N] away from me. Never.

But that night, when I was served dinner in my cell, I heard a piece of news that split my soul into a million pieces.

“Did you know, that [Y/N] girl, who used to help cook food for prisoners when she was a little one, is being sentenced to death for marrying a Jew and being pregnant with his child?”

“When is the execution?” Someone asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” a third voice replied. “ The Jew was going to be sent to the Auschwitz concentration camp, but when he heard that his wife was being executed, he pleaded the court to let him die with his wife.”

“It’s a shame that the baby has to die, don’t you think?”

“Yes, it sure is. Poor thing didn’t get to pick its parents, did it? It isn’t it’s fault.” The voices slowly faded away as the guards walked further down the hall, but my the sound of my heartbeat grew louder, its pace quicker. I stopped the judge as he slowly walked past my cell, probably looking at the new faces he had pushed behind bars.

“Sir, am I allowed to attend the execution tomorrow?” I ask. Realisation dawned in his eyes and he nodded.

“You are her brother, no? The girl who married a Jew?” He asked, and I nodded in response.

“Ah, it is so unfair, even my daughter was executed for having an affair with a Jew, so I understand how the heart aches. Normally other prisoners aren’t allowed to watch their fellow prisoners’ execution, but for you, I’ll make a special exception. I’ll send a guard to wake you up at 3 in the morning, that’s when they will be led to the guillotines. Remember to look away when the guns are fired, it helps,” he said, kindly smiling at me, and walking away. I slumped back against the wall; there was no way I could stop this now. // My tears froze on my face as the cold air whipped my face mercilessly while [Y/N], along with Dan and Baby Boo, was marched to the elevated podium on which they were to stand.

They talked in hushed voices all the while the shooters marched into the compounds, and I read their lips form words I’ll never forget.

“[Y/N], I love you and Baby Boo. You know that, don’t you?” Dan had said.

“Dan, darling, I want you to hold my hand. Now, when the guns fire, when we die, every time, I want you to be there with me and Baby Boo, holding my hand.” [Y/N] had replied, as the shooters nervously got ready to shoot on the count of five.

“Never let go,” he said, as he tightened his grip on her hand, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

“Never will,” she said, as I looked down at my shoes.

The deafening sound of a hundred bullets followed and, along with Dan and [Y/N], the remains of my soul, too, crumpled, collapsed, and died. // They say that letting go of a person’s memories, the moments you shared with them, after they die, makes it easier for one. But I, oh, I will never let go.

–

I worked damn hard on this. Also I am so proud of myself for the title YAAASSS.

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thefilmfatale · 8 years

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Moonlight (2016) [Movie Review]

Never has a movie been so quiet and yet so profoundly moving as Barry Jenkins’ Moonlight, the critically acclaimed adaptation of a play by Tarell McCraney. The coming-of-age story, about a young black man discovering his sexuality as he grows up in a broken home amidst a rough Miami neighborhood, is uniquely intimate yet at the same time achingly familiar. Moonlight immerses the audience in the experience of a boy beleaguered by questions about who he is and how he fits in the world, opening a window into a young life filled with neglect and isolation, but also hope and tenderness. While Moonlight’s story is, admittedly, hardly new, what’s absolutely certain is that no one has told it quite this way before. Jenkins steers this story gingerly and gracefully, assuming a protective, almost steward-like role in ensuring that Chiron’s story unfolds in a respectful yet evocative way. And he succeeds. Moonlight is quite the moving masterpiece, pulling viewers in with its commanding performances, haunting score, and arresting cinematography.

The story of Moonlight is told in three acts, each corresponding to a stage of Chiron’s life: childhood, adolescence and, finally, adulthood. We begin with Little (played by Alex Hibbert), who appears on screen with his perpetually pursed lips and somber expression, fleeing from a horde of rambunctious boys who chase him all the way from school into a ramshackle housing project, where he seeks refuge. Little (whose nickname was given to him by his peers because of his diminutive stature) stumbles around the decrepit apartment, observing the remnants of its former occupants: crumbs of furniture, broken liquor bottles, and drug needles. In a short sequence, Jenkins vividly paints the picture of the world Chiron (Little’s given name) lives in: a neighborhood plagued by drugs, violence, and absentee parents. But while the film touches on these big picture issues, its focus is ultimately on the child caught in the middle of this storm. This painstaking attention to our protagonist’s plight is what firmly grounds Moonlight, allowing it to address serious problems like poverty and the dangers of drug use in a subtle yet provocative way that is never sententious. But at the end of the day, what makes Moonlight compelling is its subject matter: growing up as a gay black man, something we’ve never seen on screen before. There’s tremendous responsibility in taking that on, yet Jenkins rightly opts for a subtle touch, not a heavy hand, in unpacking this story.

Little meets Juan (played by House of Cards’ Mahershala Ali), a drug dealer with an imposing demeanor and a heart of gold, and forms an interesting bond with him. With no father figure around, Little is drawn to the paternal doting that Juan shows him, although he never says as much. The boy says very few words in the film, despite Juan’s prodding. But when he finally breaks his silence, his words reverberate through the film in such a powerful way. There is a particularly poignant exchange in the film where Little quietly asks Juan, “What’s a faggot?” To which Juan, shifting uneasily in his seat knowing the weight of the question just asked of him, slowly replies, “A faggot is... a word used to make gay people feel bad.” It’s perhaps the simplest yet most succinct definition of the slur I’ve ever heard, and that scene exemplified a master class in how to talk to a child about the complicated, ugly matters of the world. The thoughtfulness in Juan’s response and the fact that he indulged a child’s innocent question about something so controversial shattered the stereotypes many hold about the types of people who become drug dealers. There was a humanity in that depiction, a rejection of the tired, one-dimensional trope of the boorish thug we’ve seen so many times on screen before.

Little’s relationship with Juan enrages his mother Paula (played by Naomie Harris), a working mother who also nurses a drug habit. She reacts to Juan bringing her boy home with anger and suspicion, knowing full well who he is and not wanting her child to be wrapped up in drugs like she has. While viewers will quickly realize the hypocrisy in this, Moonlight is careful in the way it chooses to paint Paula. Instead of dismissing her as one of those mere neglectful parents, Jenkins instead chooses to make her a symbol of the insidious effects drugs have on the people we love. One moment Paula is protective and nurturing of Chiron, the next she’s like a woman possessed, clawing at her teenage son’s pockets for money so she can buy more drugs. Paula is a woman whose self-image is wrapped around her being a mother, but her addiction hijacks her control. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to see a child witnessing their only parent - the one who is supposed to care for them unconditionally and provide unflinching support - slowly come undone. Moonlight highlights that sense of betrayal that we feel on behalf of the children who have to go through ordeals like these, but never in a way that seems cloying or hyperbolic.

Naomie Harris portrays Paula with the brilliance of a true artist, completely disappearing behind the sunken eyes and broken spirit of a woman with a history too tragic to even begin to unravel. Harris’ performance was one of complete abandon. The audience saw how much she surrendered herself to the material. The way her eyes flew open wildly as she spat profanities at Chiron, or the way her hate seemed to envelop her completely...Jenkins borrows a bit from German expressionism in his use of lighting to portray the duality of Paula’s character. One scene shows Paula standing in the middle of a hallway bathed in red light, her face contorted into an expression of complete disdain. It seemed to me that this was Jenkins’ way of relating to the audience what it feels like to be on the receiving end of an addict’s wrath. Harris commanded the audience’s attention and really served as the emotional tip of the spear for the film.

In the second act of the film, we meet a teenage Chiron (Ashton Sanders), who is struggling to navigate the battlefield that is high school. Chiron is constantly hectored about what is perceived to be his effeminate manner. His classmates leer at him, while he elicits the unhelpful pitying glances of his teachers. At this point in the film, the audience has an inkling that Chiron is going through some pretty conflicted feelings in his quest for self-discovery. He knows he’s different; hell, everyone in his school treats him that way. But Chiron lacks clarity in the way many kids who are unsure of their identities experience every day, and it’s tearing him up and driving him deeper into his shell even more. But there’s a bright spot in this cruel chapter of high school: Chiron has a friend in Kevin (Jharrel Jerome), whom he’s known since he was a child. Kevin has a soft spot for Chiron, acknowledging his awkwardness playfully instead of being mean-spirited like the other kids were. In the beginning, Chiron seems to be envious of Kevin’s confidence and popularity. But this quickly dissolves into a sense of admiration, then into a shy crush.

A scene that exhibited Jenkins’ masterful restraint as director was the beach rendezvous between Chiron and Kevin. Since it was a pivotal point in the film - precipitating Chiron’s sexual awakening - this could have gone so many different, more sensational ways. Jenkins chose to treat the scene tastefully and tenderly instead, positioning the camera behind the actors so that the viewers weren’t participants in this act of intimacy but, rather, wallflowers. With the use of deliberate editing and careful mise-en-scène, we became witnesses to a pivotal, tender moment instead of a mass of ogling, peeping toms. It’s decisions like these that cemented Jenkins as an auteur with a very distinct point of view and a subtle, but provocative touch. Few directors have exhibited the restraint necessary in telling intimate stories like these. Jenkins is one of them.

The sweetness of the beach encounter is almost instantly snuffed in the events that follow. Chiron gets into a school brawl that sends him to jail, a story that is unfortunately all too familiar for young men growing up in neighborhoods like these. We are transported to nearly a decade later, where we meet an adult Chiron (now dubbed Black, the nickname Kevin gave Chiron). Black is a completely transformed Chiron. Gone is the lanky, awkward youth, replacing him is a muscled man sporting a golden grill, driving around in a fancy car. Black is the new Juan, and he’s now running the streets of this small Miami town. Prison time obviously contributed to this transformation, but viewers know the hardening of this once meek young man was due to a betrayal from Kevin. In Black we see the cyclical nature of life in these streets, how children of drugs go on to become drug dealers or drug users, passing through the revolving door of poverty and misfortune. And on and on.

Black gets an unexpected call from Kevin, who is now a chef at a diner a few miles outside of town. Kevin apologizes for being involved in the brawl that sent Chiron to prison, and it seems like too little too late. There’s so much tension in this scene, you could cut it with a knife. Black is a mixture of confusion, hurt, anger, indignation, but in tried and true Chiron, he is speechless at this surprise reconnection. Kevin is unchanged, the same ebullient and self-assured person Black knew in his younger years. But Black...he’s not the Chiron he used to be. He’s changed now; he’s more imposing, commanding attention and even fear. But hearing from Kevin makes Black feel like that awkward, mumbling teenager again, unsure in his own skin and always struggling to find the words. Kevin extends an invitation to drop by his diner and Black jumps at it, driving miles to see his childhood friend. The way this interaction plays out is full of gentle tenderness. It’s in these few final scenes that Jenkins reminds the audience that while Moonlight is at its core a coming-of-age tale about the troubled childhood of a gay, black man, it’s rooted in a love story that spans ages. We instantly feel that tinge of unrequited love as we watching Black and Kevin gaze longingly across the table at each other to the jukebox tune of Barbara Lewis’ “Hello Stranger”. Watching this scene beautifully unfold was a reminder that there isn’t anything out there quite like Moonlight.

It’s no easy feat, to tell a story rife with so much emotion and turmoil, and yet Barry Jenkins accomplishes just that with Moonlight. In a single story, he managed to highlight the struggles of the impoverished, the drug-addled and the world weary, all through the lens of a young, black gay man. Moonlight addresses important social issues, but what makes it effective is that it’s firmly rooted in a deeply personal story that everyone, regardless of race or gender, can relate to. All men can relate to that feeling of growing up with images of masculinity shoved down their throats; men grow up learning to bottle their emotions because they are told men don’t cry, or men don’t express themselves because that’s what women do. Anyone who’s ever grown up with drugs as a constant in their household can attest to the pernicious effect they have in destroying families and dooming children to a life of poverty and crime.

Moonlight takes all of that on, yes, but at the end of the day, it is best summarized in the scene where Mahershala Ali’s Juan is teaching Little how to swim. The water is harsh at first, even unforgiving, but as soon as Little trusts his body enough to let go, he starts to float. A child with the world seemingly on his shoulders, feeling completely weightless in the vast ocean...floating was a gift. The swimming lesson was an act of compassion from someone who understood what it means to be young and unsure of your way. It was a temporary reprieve from the burden of carrying secrets or nursing old wounds. Moonlight is a jukebox melody dedicated to those out there who are still waiting to float, a song for the black gay men out there who are still trying to find their way. It’s for the gay men and women who never saw themselves in any images on television, who grew up without fathers who could answer their gnawing questions, who have yet to experience the weightlessness to be free to be yourself.

#Moonlight #Barry Jenkins #Movie Reviews #mahershala ali #naomie harris #Tarell McCraney

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hermanwatts · 4 years

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Guns of THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT

Chris L. Adams

I love movie props; it seems like I have always had a fascination with the bits and bobs utilized by film crews to create that aura of reality on the business end of a camera. There’s something about the things worn or carried or held by the actors that is almost magical. I find myself studying the sets and props nearly as much as I watch the action and listen to the dialogue. Who wouldn’t love to own a coveted pair of Dorothy’s red slippers, or have a vintage 1977 Stormtrooper helmet sitting on a shelf? Many Burroughs fans enjoy seeing props from ERB movies when they come available; I’ve seen several items in recent years from the movie, John Carter that I’d love to have sitting next to my stacks of Burroughs novels.

The costumes and props are essential, really, to effectively tell the story that the writers, actors, directors, key grips and gaffers, etcetera are trying to convey. Without them, it’s just people talking. But stick a fancy costume on one, a sword in the fist of another, or toss a cool-looking, vintage currier’s pouch over the shoulder of someone walking along looking otherwise normal? Now we’re talking. Now, it’s getting interesting.

Original production props are able to put us in touch with a movie in a tactile manner that one doesn’t experience just by watching the movie. Watching Glen Larson’s 1978 Battlestar Galactica series with an original, life-sized suit of Cylon armor standing in the corner would make for a far different experience than that of sitting in the living room floor in your pajamas watching with a coat rack in that same corner, am I right?

In a continuance of the theme I utilized for my article in ERBAPA #143, ” A Message in a . . . bottle?” –where we examined the German gas mask canister utilized by Bowen Tyler–I thought it might be interesting to dive into the prop guns utilized in filming the 1975 film, The Land that Time Forgot. Although the film is replete with the brandishing of arms and the spitting of rapid-fire lead into various rubber dinosaurs, there aren’t as many different models as one might think.

[Note that I won’t be discussing the sub’s torpedoes in this article as they would be considered more a projectile than a firearm. Although, technically, I suppose the torpedo tubes might be considered barrels! Still, we won’t dive into that, although it sounds fun.]

The Deck Gun

The biggest gun brought to bear in the film is obviously the submarine’s deck gun. Deck guns on submarines were mostly intended to shoot down aircraft (spotter planes were the bane of subs in the days before the invention of sonar) and therefor are typically of an anti-aircraft design. But, they were also utilized to defend the sub when top-side from enemy vessels, or to finish off a wounded, enemy ship–saving the limited number of torpedoes in the sub’s arsenal for bigger fish.

But in the case of the U-boat U-33, we see this weapon being used in a role that might be unique to the movie adaptation of the story written by Edgar Rice Burroughs–that of blowing away a pair of horned and frilled Styracosauruses that should have long been extinct. It’s an unfortunate scene, actually, given that these herbivores weren’t threating anyone and is probably akin to shooting elephants with Howitzers. Good, ole Hollywood, though; gotta love it.

In researching this deck gun, I find that there are some movie-gun nerds who believe the cannon used in the film was an actual German 7.7cm L/35 Flak 16 anti-aircraft gun, built by the firm, RheinMetall who are renown for many famous firearms designs. But I’m not so sure. To me, the barrel on this cannon looks a bit too long, although the conical pedestal looks right.

Still others posit that it was instead a British 3″ 23 Caliber deck gun that was used in the film. This makes more sense to me, as the film was shot in the famous Shepperton Studios of England. It seems more likely to find a source for a movie gun of this sort in the same country where the movie was being filmed, versus a rare piece from a different country, in this case, Germany. But not impossible, I admit; it’s feasible that a museum loaned a German L/35 to the studio.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to run down any solid information on this piece. The scenes of the deck gun in the movie are either too dark or too far away for me to be sure.

The Burp Gun

Germany has the distinction of being the first to field a “burp” gun on a battlefield with their famous Bergmann MP-18 (Machinen Pistole Model 1918). The design of this early submachinegun was so ahead of its time that its influence can be found on models up into the 1960s. When Hugo Schmeisser began his ground-breaking design he chose what was, at the time, a relatively new cartridge which had only been around since 1902–that being the 9mm Parabellum (9×19) of Luger fame (more on the Luger later). This cartridge has proved to have a greater longevity than even the Mp-18 as it is still with us today, being the most popular cartridge, I’d say, in the entire world.

The choice of placing a submachinegun that wasn’t fielded until 1918 in a film that takes place in 1916 is, of course, an anachronism. But, this is Hollywood we’re talking about (I use that word figuratively; literally, I’m referring to the entire movie industry). For those who know of the MP-40 (Machinen Pistole Model 1940) they might recall that this equally famous machine pistol was used in the opening scene of Indiana Jones, which takes place in 1936 — four years before the MP-40 was introduced. Movie magic! Still, it looked cool–which was the goal, after all.

Note the “snail drum” magazine sticking out of the side of the Bergmann. This was actually borrowed from the Luger (yes, that name keeps coming up, and we’re getting to it–I promise!). This is a 32-round magazine developed for the P.08 “Artillery” Luger to give it a bump in round count. It was actually quite brilliant to adopt both the Luger’s magazine and cartridge during the development of this little sub-gun.

The Revolver

As the British wait near the sub’s hatch, Bradley can be seen holding a revolver whose name is steeped in British tradition–the famed Webley top-break revolver. Referring again to Indian Jones, most might recall that Indie was fond of these British top-breaks.

The Rifle

The U-33 is also fitted out with an arsenal of Mauser Gewehr 1898 rifles. It is an example of one of these work horses of the German forces that Bowen Tyler brings to bear against everything from t-rexes to cave men.

A shame, that last! Mausers are nice rifles; built with that old-world style craftsmanship you just don’t see nowadays. I’d love to scour the cliff tops of Caspak for Bowen’s rifle, and set it next to his German gas mask cannister, should I happen upon it.

The Luger

Finally! There are many various models of the Luger pistol, some rarer than others. The four-inch barreled “Infantry” model is perhaps the most common, while the “Navy” model is on the scarcer side, most of these latter possessing a six-inch barrel. Somewhere in the middle of the scarcity barometer we have the famed “Artillery” model which had an eight-inch barrel and came standard with a removable butt-stock/holster combo and is often found with the aforementioned snail drum magazine (which had its own leather holster). It is this latter with which we find the crew of the U-33 armed to their veritable teeth.

In the movie, these were all equipped with the standard 8-round, wood-bottom magazine instead of the 32-round snail drum as seen below. Note the board stock, with attached holster. This is kicking it old school, folks. They just don’t make ’em like this anymore. I’m guessing that the studio was able to round up a couple of these for the film after not having any luck scavenging up Naval Lugers, which would have definitely been more accurate.

Although still a rare bird, P.08 Artillery Lugers are found in many-more times the quantities of the Naval variety (the Model P.04). Below is an example of what the crew of the sub would most likely have historically been armed with. Alas, these are so rare because so many of them went to the bottom.

Thank you all for allowing me to ramble about my fascination for military history and small arms. Hopefully, this has replaced some of the mystery with a little bit of historical knowledge.

Guns of THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

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68ejgppd-blog · 5 years

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nadiafayrosemelham-blog · 7 years

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I’d like to say I’m generally a lucky person. Nothing too misfortunate has ever happened during my 23 years of existence, I try to stay an honest and good human as much as possible, I don’t tempt the devil too often, and I’m a big believer in karma. What goes around comes around right? I’m basically a Buddhist.

Let me just go back to the first sentence of the last paragraph there, where I’ve written ‘I’m generally a lucky person’, and finish this sentence with, in Cambodia I was NOT a lucky person! My Buddhist belief is slightly wavering as I sit on my plane that can’t leave Cambodia quick enough, and think to myself… surely I’ve don’t nothing TOO dramatic to deserve THAT?

At the same time, I’ve recently adapted a new life motto thanks to one of my favourite people in life, the inspirational Lisa Wiltshire. It started out a few months back as ‘live a life worth writing a novel about’ and currently stands a little closer to ‘live a life worth writing a series about’. So on the other shoe (not currently wearing shoes because who keeps their shoes on during a flight), I also believe everything happens for a reason! Very firm firm believer in that one, not questioning this motto at all!

So let me tell you about my memorable trip to Cambodia. I’ll also point out that I’ve used the word memorable, because memorable is a word you use when it wasn’t great, and it wasn’t shit, but you just won’t ever forget it!

It started very innocently with my time in Siem Reap. I took a visit to the Angkor Wat Temples which are absolutely amazing, and wandered around the night market in the evenings. It was drama free and very chilled. I think the starting point in my series of unfortunate events begins with my night bus from Siem Reap to Sihanoukeville, where I was then due to board a ferry to the picturesque island of Koh Rong.

The night bus was a weird hotel bus where you literally share a single bed with a stranger (word of warning you could NEVER travel SEA if you are overweight.. sorry to crush any hopes and dreams but there are just too many tight spaces to deal with and it ain’t gonna happen). I was lucky enough to be put next to a nice young Canadian gal and we both pretty much slept the whole way. At one point I woke up to the bus driver changing the front tyre (NOTE: I think this could be where the series of unfortunate events begins). Not sure how long we were there for but obviously a while as the bus arrived late and I managed to miss my ferry to the island.

I headed to the Buva Sea Ferry office to get on board the next, and seeing as Asia is just organised chaos anyway, I chicken scratched the ferry time off my ticket so I didn’t have to pay more. I had already mentally blamed the receptionist from the hostel for this if anyone was to question my ticket. Soon enough I was on the list for the 11am ferry and was waiting eagerly by the pier. By 12.30 a substitute ferry finally rolled in to take us to the island, as apparently seas were too rough for our small speed ferry.

Sitting front and centre in the ferry, I was dreaming of the white sandy beaches I would soon be lounging upon. As I gazed ahead into the blue sea, I could see waves the size of Africa, which were soon met with the sound of the motor cutting. One giant wave came over the front of the boat and under the front doors into the cabin. Straight after the first wave, a second GIANT wave came rolling over the front of the boat, in through the windows, and absolutely SOAKED the front two rows including lil’ old me. Just to clarify I’m talking a tsunami style wave, and a whole ocean of water inside the boat.

Now has anyone ever told you to make sure you keep all your valuables close to you when travelling? Of course they have, it is absolutely drilled in to you by anyone who cares, and yes of course I had all of my valuables with me including my new MacBook Air and my IPhone 6. I quickly headed straight to the back of the boat where I pulled out my laptop and phone. Water pouring out of both, I wiped them down with a cloth of some sort but my hopes had pretty much been washed away with that wave.

After arriving to the island I managed to buy 2 kilos of rice off an elderly woman for $2, based on the promise that I would eventually return it to her to use for her cooking. Needless to say I was not eating at her restaurant during my stay in Koh Rong. I briefly attempted to save the electronics but the laptop was 100% fried, and the phone only half touch responsive. I held out hope that I could get the phone fixed when I eventually landed in Phnom Penh.

On the ferry, I met a few other girls who were also headed to a secluded hostel on the island called ‘Suns of Beaches’ which was apparently so super chill that you had to take a long tail boat to get there. After climbing off the ferry slightly defeated by the rough ride, we soon found out that there were no boats running to this part of the island due once again to the rough waters. So now I’ve got a fried laptop, a phone that barely works, I’m feeling like a broken woman from the rough ferry ride, AND I can’t get to my hostel (which I’m secretly happy about because I don’t want to look at another boat). I was the first to cut my losses, and soon enough we all decided to check into a hostel in the central area of the island.

We went out for a few drinks to soothe our souls, and eventually headed to bed in our dorm room. I buddied up with a lovely German girl, who I will here on refer to as Germany, not in a racist way, but just because I like that name (her real name was Mirjam). She would be my new partner in crime over the coming days. The first hour of attempted sleep in my dorm bed involved itching, rolling around, applying insect repellant, and giving up on the cause. The following hours of my night involved finding a late night restaurant to sit at and make use of their wifi (on Germany’s iPad that she had so kindly let me borrow because remember my electronics hate me). By the time morning came around I had lodged my travel insurance claim, googled fancy hotels to stay in, had finished my book, and managed to photograph the sunrise! Maybe things weren’t so bad after all!

That day Germany and I enjoyed the gorgeous beaches, and found a double room next door that was clean and perfect for $10 a night. On our 3rd day Miriam convinced me to hike to Suns of Beaches (the hostel we were meant to be staying at), which was about an hours walk from the main village. The first 45 minutes were so beautiful that I wouldn’t even call it a hike. We were just wandering along the beach bare feet with huge backpacks on our back.

In the last what should have been 15 minutes however, things took a turn for the worst. We came to the final section of the hike where you walk through a trail in the jungle. Part way in the trail split in two, and as we stood there wondering which way to go, Miriam said left and I said right. Left we went, as I’d decided I didn’t always need to be right (excuse the pun)! The path started to look super dodgy and I questioned the decision endlessly as we pressed forward under Germany’s lead. After climbing over fallen trees and manoeuvring over boulders we came to a second path, which also split both left and right. Once again Germany chose left, and I chose right. Germany pulled out her frozen map and convinced me once again that left was the way – don’t trust a German with a broken map.

As we wandered down the dry path, about half an hour later we sighted a wooden hut in the distance. That must be it we shouted for joy! But as we neared closer it was actually just a locals house surrounded by chickens, stray dogs, week old garbage and with an entire family perched up on the front verandah. We tried to ask for directions but needless to say, we were soo far out of the tourist zone that their English was definitely not permitting. We stood there for about 10 minutes while a pre-teen boy gave us false hope, staring into his phone in a manner that turned out to be aimless. ‘Maps’ I said pointing to his phone, hoping he would pull up a google map and show us where we were, but that would have been wayyyy too good to be true. He just shrugged his child sized shoulders and gazed up at us with lost eyes.

At this point I took charge as I looked around with no sign of anything marine. ‘We’re going back to the second fork in the path and headed right’. Miriam hesitantly followed me back along the long path we had wandered, and we continued to the right. Did I already point out that we’re in Cambodian heat carrying our entire life on our back? Well we were… but soon enough we came to the waters edge, and simultaneously to a sign that read ‘SUNS OF BEACHES’. Thank the bloody lord for that!

Stumbling up to the hostel check-in area, we told the young Scottish chap we were there to check in and stated our names. Miriam had been emailing them on our behalf during my unplanned technology cleanse, and she had informed them know we would be arriving. Good ole Scotland sat perched up behind the counter and exclaimed ‘I’ve got one bed for Miriam, and no beds for Nadia.’ Ohhh.. perfect! So you’ve got no beds then? ‘Nope, no beds tonight. But your welcome to sleep in a hammock for free. Or go head to toe with Miriam!’ Oh wonderful, the curse of Cambodia continues.

That night we went swimming with the bioluminescent plankton once the sun had set, and watched the water light up around us as we splashed about. What a gorgeous sight it was, and one of the reasons I was determined to go to the island. Once bed time arrived we ended up settling for the head to toe option, and arranged ourselves on the bottom bunk. At about 4am I awoke feeling pretty ‘shitty’ if ya know what I mean, and vomited my life away. Each hour I awoke to visit the bathroom, then resumed head to toe positioning. Of course I had managed to pick up a bug or gastro or whatever it wanted to call itself as it slowly consumed me from the inside.

When morning came I took the first long tail boat back to the main village area, where I would stay a final night back in the double room to sort myself out before the traumatic ferry ride back to the mainland. That morning I’d put on fresh clothes in an attempt to make myself feel wonderful, and tried to convince myself I would make it through the long tail trip without pooping my pants. After heading down to the boat, I soon discovered it was anchored 30m out to sea, and we had to wade over to it with our bags above our head. By this point I really would not have been phased if I dropped my entire bag in the ocean. In fact I probably would have just left it there if I had. But nevertheless I made it to the boat with my fresh clothes soaked and my belly hating life, and my bag made it too.

Soon the boat took off and I realised that once again, I was actually sitting at the front of the boat. Wonderful! I warned the lad next to me that sitting there was probably a terrible mistake as I was currently a series of unfortunate events, and he laughed it off with a slightly scared look left on his face once he realised how serious I was.

I made it back to the main village, and again waded through the breast deep water with my bags above my head. I checked back into the double room and came across the pals I’d made a few days ago, ready to entertain them with my stories. Andrew (aka. England) got a real kick out of my misfortune, and showed me a little sympathy by allowing me the share his laptop and indulge in a movie for some entertainment in my sick state. He fetched me water and noodles, and kept me entertained with his dodgy English humour. Did I mention that on this afternoon I also managed to disable my phone by tapping excessively at the screen to work and entering the pin incorrectly one too many times? So my phone now says ‘connect to iTunes’, but I can’t do that because my computer is fried isn’t it! So the comforting thought of still having the contents of my phone is now shattered as I realise I will have to factory reset the phone after fixing the screen. WHAT-IS-TECHNOLOGY?

The next day I sat at the dodgiest pier of the four on the island with my stomach feeling just as dodgy. England had come along to send me off, and we joked about how the tiny boat that looked like it held two people at the end of the pier would be my boat. Safe to say that god damn boat was indeed my Buva Sea Ferry. On board I climbed, or rather leaped as the boat bounced around everywhere, and stood there trying to calculate which seat would be best to sit in, in the case of another rogue wave.

The boat took off and I can 100% say it was the most outrageous experience yet. It would be no exaggeration to say that I would pay a lot of money at Sydney Harbour to experience that same boat ride. The only difference is that I would receive a life jacket and a seat belt, and the boat would be labelled ‘The JetSpinner’. I sat there gripping at the handles tighter then mum used to grip the car handles when I was a learner driver, and thinking to myself, it’s been a nice life! I think I made eye contact with every single person on that boat, just to check if they were filled with the same fears as I was. My previous dramatic ferry ride had taught me that when the motor cuts, it is NOT a good sign, and by the time I could sight land in the distance I think the motor had cut about 16 times and we had become proper airborne at least 5 of those times. There were 2 vomits, 12 shaken passengers, and 24 wobbly knees onboard.

I sat at the cafe I was due to be collected from, and recovered from the experience whilst mentally preparing for my bus ride ahead. As pickup time came close I confirmed with a few too many waitstaff that I would definitely be getting collected from that cafe. A feeling in my belly told me things were not improving, and I asked one final person about the pickup, who responded ‘Oh, the driver has already been and collected everyone!’ Of course he bloody has! With a few minutes to spare, I hopped on the back of a motorbike and headed for the bus departure point, where a phone call had been made to ask the driver to wait for me. Finally I was on the bus, and NOTHING ELSE COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

I made it to Phnom Penh, where I continued to suffer gastro from my Koh Rong visit. I took my phone to the night market where it was fixed within 15 minutes, and then managed to lock myself out of every bank account and email account I own by entering incorrect passwords. Touch recognition on iPhones is a blessing and a curse, as if I would remember the 9 million different passwords I’ve got for each account.

To be fair apart from the above, Phnom Penh was mostly drama free – and I was soon headed to the airport to take my flight to Indonesia and leave this cursed land of Cambodia! Very conscious of how my luck had been panning out, I decided to leave for the airport excessively early. I sat, waiting for the check in counter to open, and when it did, I jumped in the line. After about a 40 minute wait to the front (and after feeling very content in the line about my luck improving), I was faced by a Cambodian man. He asked for my departure flight details from Indonesia and I informed him I was yet to book a flight, but was only staying a week or so. The kind sir proceeded to tell me that he was unable to check me in for the flight until I had a departure flight FROM Indonesia. So let me just clarify this for you quickly… I’m due to fly Cambodia to Indonesia, with a layover in Malaysia, and this dude cares about my DEPARTURE flight from INDONESIA?…. Excuse me, but why on God’s earth do YOU Cambooodia, care when or as a matter of fact, IF I ever leave Indonesia?

I’ve learnt mostly by observation that you will get absolutely nowhere by arguing or back and forth-ing with anyone in Asia, so I accepted defeat and stepped to the side in order to book my flight leaving Indonesia. I had one hour to book the flight which seemed easy enough, but of course with Nadia’s lucky this wasn’t the case. I could feel myself floating further and further up shit creek with a dodgy airport wifi connection and a ticking clock staring me in the face. Time passed and the check-in line slowly disappeared. I literally had 4 minutes left to check in, and I looked at the Cambodian man with the saddest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen in your life, thinking to myself he is for sure a dad or an uncle or at least has a bloody soul! He took a look at my eyes slowly filling with tears from the past two weeks, and said ‘Well, you did TRY to book a flight so I’ll check you in. But just make sure you book a departure flight before you get to Indonesia or you might have trouble.’ I thanked him one too many times not really knowing what the hell for, and sprinted to my gate to get on that god damn plane.

I was pretty much the last person to board, and I could see my row up ahead with two people filling the seats next to mine. In front, row 25 sat entirely empty from A through C, and I said to myself “Fuck it!” I sat in that row all by myself and spread out across the three seats absolutely stoking the blazing fire that was my fate whilst the wheels smoothly lifted off the tarmac. I could practically feel the Cambodian curse being lifted as we ascended further into the air, and I could finally rest easy.

Summary of unfortunate events:

Bus arrived late to Sihanoukeville and missed my ferry

Managed to board a later ferry involving tsunami waves, wet bums, and fried electronics

Couldn’t get to secluded island hostel due to rough seas

Bed at substitute hostel filled with biting bugs = sleepless night

Got lost in the Cambodian jungle with no ocean in sight in attempt to find original hostel

Caught a gastro bug after swimming with the plankton in the lush Koh Rong water

Bounced around for an hour on return ferry ride to mainland as surrounding passengers chucked up and winced around me

Missed pick up to deliver me to my bus to Phnom Penh

Just about missed my flight out of Cambodia due to weird Cambodian airport regulations that I still don’t understand

(Hold tight for my next post, to see if the Cambodian curse really had been lifted, or if it was just the altitude playing havoc on my senses.)

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3one3 · 8 years

Text

The Sequel - 785

Family Planning

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea players, and random awesome OC’s

(okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

Juan showed up as scheduled, and he wasn’t dressed appropriately for some night of devious behavior either. He was in matching sweats and comfy tennis shoes, and sort of looked like he’d lived three entire days in the hours since she left his apartment. Christina got a one-arm side-hug when she let him in, and a mildly savoring forehead kiss. Something was definitely wrong. Wine was declined, beer was accepted, popcorn was made, and an incredibly important but seriously depressing Bertolucci film was selected. The player sat on the couch by himself while his host cleaned the pot she used to make the popcorn and drank his Stella. The pot could have waited. It could have sat overnight with some soap and water to make it easier to get the popping oil out. She needed a couple of minutes to plan how to get him to open up and share whatever was plaguing him. The strategy she came up with was blunt interrogation. There was no way he could pretend nothing was wrong. He would have to address it in some way. Christina figured if she could at least approach it with a little humor, maybe he wouldn’t immediately try to shut her out. Part of her hoped the whole reason he was there was to do the opposite of that- to confide in her. Sometimes he just wanted company when he was down or had things on his mind though, not an ear to borrow.

“You didn’t break up with Taylor again, did you?” she inquired with caution upon taking her spot next to him- André’s spot, really.

“No. I saw her tonight though. She knows I had sex with someone last night. I don’t know how. Maybe I look a certain way,” Juan shrugged absently. “Or maybe she went sniffing the bed sheets. I don’t know. She doesn’t get to be upset about it, so it doesn’t matter that much. I was a little afraid she would ask me who. I don’t want to lie to her. I obviously can’t tell her the truth.”

“I’m sorry, Juanin. I didn’t want for-“

“That’s not the problem, cariña,” he assured with the most meager of smiles. “Don’t get yourself all worked up about that. I have things on my mind. She’s not one of them. And neither are you,” he added when he saw Christina gearing up to interject.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I want to watch this film. This girl in it is crazy. I think that terrible one you made us watch with all the sex and drugs in Paris was supposed to be like an update on this. You can’t update Bertolucci though. He made this genre.” The Spaniard got up from the couch cushion for a second to select the flattest of the throw pillows from the other end, and set it on his ex’s thigh, on top of her blanket. Then he lay on his side to put his head there and have the best view of the TV. He reached for the popcorn bowl for her and blindly wedged it between his pillow and the back cushion on the side of the corner, also in her lap, so that she could get to it without having to lean over him, or obstructing his view. He even drank from the beer bottle like that. He couldn’t be pried open even with the best can opener. The rider knew she would have to wait him out to find out what was bothering him and damping his usual good spirits and sense of humor. She ate the garlic-butter popcorn with her left hand and kept the right one grease-free to pet his head.

That was something she really relished. Juan was different from André in a myriad of ways, and perhaps none more disparately than how he dealt with feeling down, or stressed out. The German didn’t think twice about getting into Christina’s lap in some way, or putting himself somewhere that forced her to pay attention to him, or hold him. He could even say “pay attention to me” and make his face sad and implore her to dote on him- to play with his hair, or rub his back, or even just hold his hand. His old Chelsea teammate wasn’t like that. She could count the number of times he expressly asked for that kind of affection on one hand. And she liked when it happened, because it meant she could give back a small amount of what he gave her in abundance all the time. Obviously his sadness or preoccupation didn’t make her happy, but she also liked that she was the person he chose to help make it better. He once told her that ministering to her affection needs- being the one doing the holding, playing with the hair, massaging- did the same for him as being on the receiving end. Ministering to her was how he helped himself feel better, and relax. She did her absolute best when whatever was on his mind was too difficult for that to work.

“This girl is beyond crazy. She’s so annoying. And her hair- my god. I would not have survived the 70’s with my sanity intact. I couldn’t look like that. I couldn’t survive with that level of forestation between my legs either,” she remarked after seeing the lead actress undress for the second or third time. Last Tango in Paris is all about a young girl’s weird sexual relationship with an older American guy who has just lost his wife, who was having an affair with another guy he knew, and her relationship with her young fiancé, who is also making a movie about her. It is not an action film, or even all that heavy on plot, but it is emotionally intense and engaging, and the direction has long been considered artwork. Marlon Brando’s performance as the American has been similarly fabled.

“Do you ever let it grow? I’ve never seen you with anything more than a little fuzz.”

“Never like that. That’s like having a beard around your vagina. First of all, how do you keep that clean and the skin nice? Do you shampoo it? Condition? Can you put regular body lotion on it? Second, that skin goes wasted when it’s covered in fur. It’s sensitive. It feels good to touch it, but not if you can’t even feel it,” Christina argued. “I love touching that skin when it’s waxed or just shaved. Especially when it’s...wet,” she laughed. “I freely admit the first thing I do after shaving is molest myself. And she’s got it all over the place too! That would stick out of my underwear! Eww.”

“I love that skin too,” Juan told her casually as he turned onto his back and looked up from his pillow. He was smiling. Her fingers never stopped opening and closing on his scalp. The hair on his head was much nicer to touch than the pubic hair they were discussing.

“It’s still available for touching and/or kissing if you decide you’d rather do that than mope.”

“Remember I told you a while ago that my dad is thinking of opening a restaurant here?” The player got a silent nod, and also a piece of popcorn offered above his mouth, which he shook his head to decline. “He had an experienced manager lined up to be a partner, and a chef they wanted to work with. They put everything in motion, started buying the equipment, leased a property in Soho. Now the others have backed out to do other projects. He wants to talk to David- You remember my friend with the restaurant in Oviedo, yes? I introduced you? We went to his place? You said we should make a restaurant here? He wants me to get him involved, but I don’t know if I should. David would jump at the chance. I think the other people backed out because of my dad, though. He can be hard to work with and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I don’t want my good friend to get involved and have it go badly for him, and I don’t want him to get involved and have it mess up our friendship. But I also don’t want to have to say, “Hey Papa, I can’t help you with David because I think your restaurant will be a disaster for him”. I’m not moping. I’m thinking.”

“Man, this one is sooooo easy,” Christina teased. “I respect that you’re so used to having to hear and deal with my crap that you feel a need to manufacture some drama in your life so you feel like you’re participating, but this is not a big problem, my dear. Tell David your pops wants to pitch him on this restaurant thing but forewarn him that you don’t think it’s a good project yet and he should respectfully decline.”

“I don’t want to sell my dad out,” her friend countered. “It’s possible that with David the restaurant becomes a big success.”

“Well you always tell me to let you make up your mind about what is or isn’t good for you. You don’t trust your friend to make a good decision for himself?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.

“Then...I don’t know either.”

“Let’s have a baby.”

“What?”

“Leave him and have a baby with me.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” the rider laughed before stuffing a handful of popcorn in her mouth. Juan appeared completely serious, but he could do that. That’s why he was funny. He was good at acting.

“Great. I like the name Olivia. Would that be okay for our daughter?”

“Did you steal narcotics from the hospital?”

“No. I left there wishing I had someone to love the way those parents love their kids. Someone healthy, God willing,” he said without breaking. That was when Christina realized it was so easy for him to look serious because he actually was serious, sort of. His eyes tracked hers. Wherever she looked, they followed. There was very little lag in the process since he was just looking up from her lap, and she felt like he was even predicting which way she’d avert her blues while she digested his words. Her own expression probably showed that, and when she responded it was with a “nothing” comment- a time buyer.

“Oh. Ohhhhhh. That’s why you’re here to be petted.”

“Yes.”

“Juanin...why don’t you just end your silly charade with Taylor and go find a woman you could have a family with?” Buying time didn’t really help her come up with something considered to say, because she had a more impulsive reaction practically bursting out of her. It was much, much easier for her to be decisive and conclusive about other people’s lives than her own, and especially those she was close to. For her entire life, whenever a friend gave her a chance to really give feedback on a personal situation, a lot came out, and usually with a sense of the frustration or disbelief Christina had over it for a long time. Usually it was Christina lecturing Jill about some worthless guy she was seeing, or some nice guy she was using instead of being serious with.

“Do you say that because you think it’s the right answer, or because you hate Taylor?” The Spanish footballer didn’t seem wont to give her judgement much credence. He just smirked at her.

“I don’t hate Taylor. I hate that you’re with a girl you don’t really love, and don’t tell me you do love her and it’s just that you love her less than me, because I know you, you jerk, and you would not treat any woman you love the way you treat her. You just wouldn’t. You stay with her because you’re afraid of falling for someone else who might take you away from the future you think you have with me. You’re afraid you’ll meet someone who needs what you save for me, and that you won’t know what to do. You’re as stuck between two futures as I am. You pick this crappy middle-ground between me and her instead of a third person who could give you everything you want because you’re afraid, just like I’m afraid to choose just him and cut you out, or to choose just you, and tear my family apart. I pick this in-between thing instead. You and I are so awful for each other, Juan. Just awful. What are we doing?” Christina’s rant went from mildly defensive and condescending to plaintive and sad, and her voice began to fail her again. The rasp and crack made the sentiment of her words all the more harsh and stark. It wiped the smirk right off the face below.

“Don’t get all upset,” he suggested without a smile of any sort. “Take a deep breath.”

“How long are we going to keep ignoring this? You know it’s true. You know it would be better for both of us if we weren’t close. I’m not even going to be here soon. You should dump Taylor and ignore me and go meet a nice girl who can be all yours and treat you well, and who you can commit to completely.”

“Is that what you want? You honestly think your life would be better without me in it?” he asked plainly while scratching under his jaw.

“Not better, but easier.”

“Is it what you want, cariña? Answer that question.”

“No.” The rider’s admission was just sad. Her eyes tried very diligently to get away from his but he was committed to following them. “I want out of this uncertainty though, and I want you to be happy and have what you want. Trust me, having a kid is not something you’re going to want to wait until you’re old to do. They’re exhausting. Don’t wait until you’re too old and tired to do a good job.”

“I wasn’t serious! I have no interest in becoming a father in this moment.”

“You were not just making a joke. I know you! You think I don’t know you mean what you say when you’re 9 inches from my face?”

“You think I really asked you to have a baby with me right now? Come on,” Juan scoffed, finally breaking eye contact just so he could roll his eyes. Their conversation was more like bickering than the serious and contemplative thing it had become before that. “I would never.”

“Just because it wasn’t literal doesn’t mean it’s not serious.”

“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to be the person who stays with you when you’re upset and lonely, and who sleeps with you when you feel like it, or do you want me to start a family with someone else? You can’t have both. Pick one.”

“It shouldn’t be my choice! You have to decide what is right for you. We’ve been over this. But don’t keep choosing Plan A if you’re having thoughts and cravings for...spreading the seed or whatever. I don’t want you to look at me in a couple of years and hate me because you kept putting off your life for me.” Christina put the popcorn bowl on the table behind the couch and folded her arms, trying to summon some indignation, or just some emotional distance from the topic at hand. I don’t want to lose him as what he is for me, but I don’t want him to hurt himself either, and honestly it would probably be good for both of us once we got over it. It would be hard. It would hurt a lot. But then he can move on and have a normal relationship with someone and I can have a less complicated one with Schü, she reminded herself while she waited for the boy staring at her to respond.

“You only say it’s my choice because you don’t want to tell me to take Plan B.”

“You only try to put it back on me because you’re stubborn!”

“Cariña I have exactly what I want for myself right now. Honestly. I am happy with what I have. “Some days I wake up and I don’t want to do this. It’s not the work- I’m not afraid of work. I just don’t know if I even care.” That’s what you said the other day about your career,” the Chelsea creator recited very calmly. “Some days I want something different in my life too. This time of year I see my family, I go meet these kids and their parents, and I think I want to start my own family. I don’t have to act on a temporary feeling. Some days I want to blow off football and go all the places I’ve never been. I don’t do that. How long did you feel like you wanted to have a baby before you started trying?”

“Three months.”

“So if I feel for three months like I do today, then I worry about changing my life.”

“Why is everything so simple for you? Why are you never uncertain or unsure about anything? It’s so annoying,” Christina grumbled with her arms folded above his head. And why do you remember every god damned thing I say? I didn’t even say this one! I tweeted it! Stop reading my tweets, Juanin.

“I don’t know. You used to be the same. I miss that about you, to be honest.” He raised a brow at her and then sat up straight, perhaps not wanting to see the flicker of hurt in her eyes that always came with his assertions that she’d changed over time. He reached to the side of the couch behind and used his feet flat on the cushion to hoist himself up so he could move back and sit on her thighs the way she always did to André in that spot. The two dogs sleeping between her calves lifted their heads to express irritation at the disturbance.

“Why are you sitting on me?”

“Just trying it out.”

“Are you ever going to set me free?”

“Ask yourself, not me.”

“Well can’t you be mean to me?”

“I have. You always take me back,” the player smiled. He then put both hands on her face and bent down to smooch her pouting mouth. “And I’m not in the habit of giving up on things I want,” he added more quietly.

“You’re so annoying.”

“Yeah, I am definitely the more annoying between us.”

“I like when you smell like beer.”

The thing about Juan- and a difference between him and André in that moment- was that Christina could move in and out of deadly serious conversations with him with ease. They could joke about nothing and debate major life decisions at the same time. He calmed her down. He took her down from even great emotional heights. Her husband struggled to do that recently. He could only make the discussion even more heated until she eventually brought herself down, only when she did so it was without letting go of the negative emotions. She just shrank away from the elevation to protect herself. She would still feel upset inside. For some reason she couldn’t quite understand, that didn’t happen with Juan. She could get all worked up one second and he would say the right thing to diffuse her building explosion, or even to clean it up immediately after it happened. He could halt the panic attack in its tracks, when it suited him. Sometimes he wanted her to stay upset. That was the selfish thing he alluded to the night before. He wasn’t going to be selfish on Thursday and force her to keep thinking about hard decisions and hard situations. He took her from the brink of screaming and crying about her essential life problem to near-calm explanatory conversation to casual sarcasm and banter, and then she took herself somewhere completely different. “I like when you smell like beer” wasn’t sarcasm, or even a joke. The Blue didn’t take it like one either. He leaned down to kiss her again, but the open-mouth kind.

“When I smell like beer or when I taste like it?” he asked after withdrawing his tongue from hers.

“Both.”

“Am I sleeping here?”

“I don’t know. Are you?”

“I don’t know. What time are you giving your top 10 secrets to success?”

“My wha- Oh! Shit I keep forgetting about that. I think the lady and her videographer come at 1. You have training in the morning?”

“Mhm.”

“How do you feel about breakfast smoothie bowls with a bossy toddler?”

“Positively to very positively...” Juan’s answer shrunk in volume and definition as he leaned over even further to free one of his friend’s breasts from her tank top and cover her nipple with his mouth. Christina got the chills the way she did when she was actually unbearably hot and her skin tried desperately to cool her off by sweating profusely all at once and giving her a false sense of cold on its surface for a split second.

“Even if I put chia seeds and spinach in them?” she asked.

“Mhm,” he verified without removing his lips from her.

“Can you lick while I suck?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you wanna help me shave first?”

“Mhm.”

“Can you take your mouth off the boob long enough to go upstairs?”

“Yes,” the player smiled once he sat up. Then his eyes narrowed. “I thought you don’t like giving and receiving at the same time?”

“I don’t. You do.”

“When are you going to let me fuck your butt?”

“Literally never.”

“Why?”

“It’s gross.”

“It doesn’t have to be. I can make sure it’s not. What if you actually enjoy it?”

“I won’t.”

“How do you know if you don’t try? Not even for me?” Juan snaked his arms around Christina and tried to cozy up to her, like that would change her mind about anal sex. He was so disingenuous about it that it had no chance of working. It just made her laugh.

“We’re sleeping together again for one day and you’re already making this pitch? Damn, Juanin,” she chuckled.

“Okay fine. What if we take small steps? We can work up to it,” he offered in a way that suggested he thought he was being very generous. At least I don’t have to worry about him coming here because he’s all troubled and emotional and then wanting to have emotional remedy sex, the rider mused to herself. That would be concerning. That would be a sign of a coming problem. But no, he’s busy wanting to put his dick in my ass. What could be less emotional than that? Except for the part where I suffer from emotions such as mortification, humiliation, extreme pain, and disgust. “You’ll see how you like-“

“Juan Mata Garcia, if you stick a finger in my butt it will be the last time you put anything anywhere.”

“What about my tongue?”

“Ewww! Why would you want to put your tongue someplace like that? I know girls pretend that girls don’t poop, but I have news for you: we do.”

“I have news for you too,” he laughed back. “You put your tongue in places that get touched by poop too, or did you think it gets ejected at an angle like-“

“Okay stop.” Christina covered her mouth with her hand and concentrated very hard on not letting the popcorn and wine in her stomach try to eject itself. She was always willing to lick areas she considered “butt adjacent”, and she only allowed herself to do that because she was convinced they were “cleaner” than an actual anus. There was a standing rule about not putting her mouth on anything that wasn’t shaven, so André kept those areas well groomed. The Spaniard was too lazy to do that often, but he also so enjoyed her service that she frequently used to break her own rule. He didn’t forget that.

“The hair also-“

“Stop! You are one word from not getting sex of any kind.”

“What are you doing on the 14th, 15th, and 16th?”

“Not having buttsex with you.”

“I’m serious. What are you doing? Want to come to the beach?”

“I’m gonna go to Dortmund probably because Schü has a few days off when he gets back from camp. You should take Taylor down with you and have a buttsex marathon,” she suggested while navigating her breast back into her shirt in the most smug way possible. Juan pulled her closer to kiss her left temple. His lips touched her as if to just give a fond peck, but then they lingered.

“Let’s go make you bare,” he said against her head before pulling his lower lip up to meet the stationary top one. “I want to lick that spot you talked about, and make it wet.”

“K.” He’s so addicting, she whined internally. He’s like a toy you don’t want to put down until you’re absolutely sick of playing with it. No Juan for at least two weeks after this, the rider resolved.

#more of what no one is asking for

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