#whether they fucking like it or not.

[mymarifae]

i just think it's funny that my fanfics are like "extremely lighthearted silly romantic comedy with only slightly deeper themes of learning to love yourself" and then you go look at my original works and it's like "girl haunted by the rotting corpse of the leviathan god her guardian tried to artificially engineer and abandoned beneath the earth when it started refusing to talk to him" and "protagonist cursed with a form of immortality that doesn't prevent death but simply resurrects them a short while afterwards, and so they die close to 100 times throughout their story and are forced to contend with every corner of the afterlife and limbo and also they're kinda sorta being hunted by a wretched incomprehensible beast from deep space that hates them personally"

[collgeruledzebra]

the thing about trying to recommend fiction podcasts to someone who isn't familiar with them is that not only are so so many genres represented but also the level of production can fall anywhere from "basically an audiobook" to "major motion picture minus the pictures"

[exdivine]

has anyone seen that woman on tiktok who’s mother was in a BDSM dom/sub relationship?

her mother wore an “eternity collar” around the children, engaged in non-sexual BDSM behavior around the children (getting on her knees to serve water to her “dom” is just one example), and even explained the “rules” of her dom/sub relationship to the children.

this woman is explaining how being exposed to BDSM as a child negatively affected her, and the comments are like “but not all kink/BDSM people” like???

[fareplay]

You try to escape from the home of the monsterperson that's been keeping you as a breed toy. You try to crawl through the dog door but get stuck halfway as your belly as swollen too big to fit. You try and squeeze yourself through again and again but the pressure from the door combined with your straining causes your labor to be triggered. Your toes curl and stomach clenches as you start birthing right into your panties/right onto the floor if they didn't so much as allow you to wear pants. The eggs spill out against the wall and fall slowly trailing thick fluid. You adjust and raise your rear in the air as another wave ripples through your belly making you cum hard and pour eggs behind you. Your breasts swell too pillowing your head and the nipples begin to leak sticky milk. Your body has completely prioritized itself over your mental will to escape. After almost an hour you collapse exhaustedly with your legs splayed out behind you. Just as soon as you catch your breath, you're out of here. Unfortunately, the monsterperson has been watching the whole ordeal from the other side of the door and is now completely flustered. It's taken everything they have to stay off of you this long and finally they can't take it anymore and hop behind you on their knees,straddling you and your clutch, ovipositor firm and ready to breed you all over again. They hump your helpless little rear end like a dog in heat. Looks like you're not going anywhere for a while.

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

[lucabyte]

Different standards

[newgroundstier]

untapped humour potential with these guys i think

holy fuck ref 4 the unaware ⬇

[cubbihue]

In the aftermath of Peri's tantrum, the Leisure Court Fairies discovered that nearly every Pixie within close proximity of Poof were completely drained of magic.

Fairies are presumed incapable of stealing magic-- not unless they are a bonded pair, where magic is shared. Therefore, the underlying reasons remain uncertain to this day. Cosmo had been the only Fairy to remain conscious during the blast, but researchers were unable to extract much information from him.

Thankfully, all Pixies, including Timmy, made a full recovery- with all their magic intact.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

Instability: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[lazycranberrydoodles]

transfems your wangxian

[lindamccartneysstrap]

by "real" use whatever criteria you think appropriate. "i think they had feelings for each other but never acted on it" "they had a casual thing/situationship" "they were together but broke up" "they were secretly married in canada and have 6 kids together and their wives are beards". or maybe "they gave each other handjobs but platonically or something" or "one-sided unreciprocated feelings" wouldn't count as "real" by your judgement.

feel free to say your ship/opinions if you reblog. or dont idc im not your mom.

[mr-ribbit]

ladies, do you hate shaving? you wish you didn't have to go through all that work before every date night? want to wear shorts or a swimsuit or just exist in public without it being a whole ordeal of exhaustion, self harm, and emotional stress? do you put yourself through hell solely to keep up the illusion that you have zero body hair? great news, we have a solution!

"is it to surround yourself with people who don't care about body hair?"

no!!

"is it to improve my personal stigma against body hair by accepting its beauty on others?"

no!!!!!!!

"does it involve me getting to stop shaving at all?"

of course not!!!!!!!!!! ITS AN INSANE ALTERNATIVE SHAVING PRODUCT! ITS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN RAZORS, TAKES JUST AS LONG, AND AND ITS WEIRD! BUY OUR HANDHELD LASER POWERED PINK TAXED MAGIC LEG SHAVING THINGIE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS!! USE IT TO GET RID OF THAT UGLY LEG HAIR YOU HIRSUTE FREAK! YOURE NOT NATURAL YOURE NOT NORMAL IF YOU DONT LIKE SHAVING THEN YOU *NEED* TO USE THIS BRAND NEW THERAPY WAX TWEEZER BEAM RADIATION BLISTER WAND PROCESS!!!! YOU HAVE TO CHARGE IT! IT'LL GET RID OF THAT HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HAIR WITHOUT ALL THE CUMBERSOME STRUGGLES OF HAVING TO SHAVE - THATS RIGHT, THIS PRODUCT GIVES YOU BRAND NEW CUMBERSOME STRUGGLES TO ADD TO YOUR ALREADY JAM PACKED MORNING ROUTINE OF SHIT YOU HAVE TO DO TO YOUR STUPID WOMAN BODY BEFORE YOU LET ANYBODY OUT IN THE REAL WORLD SEE IT

NOW WITH ESSENTIAL OILS

[puppyeared]

Alex and my farmer Cosmo (he/him)

[raiiny-bay]

Love, Dhes

Parker,

It's unfair how time with you feels so short. How the last 10 years have felt like no time at all. I like to think there are other versions of us out there, somewhere. Maybe in another timeline, another universe. I like to think we find each other no matter where we are or what we're doing. That we're together and happy and I get to love you in a dozen different lifetimes. That's what I hope, anyway. And I hope when this lifetime ends, we get to start over and do it all again. Because once just isn't enough. Not for me. Not with you.

I hope the next 10 years pass slower.

Love, Dhes

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[star--nymph]

Vivienne's fear being 'becoming irrelevant' isn't something that's linked explicitly to her pride, no matter what Solas says about her (and the irony of Mr.Pride himself saying that should not be lost on you), it reveals what and who Vivienne truly is.

She's a survivalist.

Because we don't spend as much time in the Free Marches or Orlesian circles, we don't get to experience what being a mage is in these cultures. In Ferelden and Kirkwall, a mage is a lesser being without freedom no matter what they do--but in the Free Marches and Orlais specifically, mages are commodities that are given freedom so long as they play an entertaining enough role. They can explore the world if they have a noble patron, if they catch the right person's eye. They are, in a way, two sides of the same coin--refusing mages agency and forcing them to relay on higher powers. Vivienne lucked out, as sad as it is, when Bastion fell in love with her; she found someone who was contrarian enough to recognize her as a full person and also someone with power that could help her rise through the ranks. This is not to say that Vivienne on her own wasn't an exceedingly talented and intelligent individual--by nineteen she was already the youngest full fledged mage in Circle history and she was skilled enough to make herself an enchanter. But, I can not emphasize this enough, none of that matters if she didn't also play the Game and impress enough people.

Vivienne could have been the most brilliant mage in the history of Thedas and it means nothing if she was overlooked by nobility.

So when Bastion made her his mistress, she gained not just a lover but also a means to an end. Now she can use her magic to protect herself. Now she can roam where she wants and not be question for it because she's Madame Vivienne. Now, she can walk into the Orlasian court and belong there.

And what happens? Celene notices her and makes her the Court Enchanter, a position that has always been the equivalent of a jester. Vivienne took that title, ignored that it was essentially a glorified insult to who she is, and made it a position of power. She made the Court Enchanter into an advisor, a political rank. She had done the impossible and made mages an actual political entity in the Orlasian Court, something that wasn't seen outside of Tervinter (not counting what players can do under very specific conditions if they made mages in DAO and DA2).

All that, however, only continues as long as the court recognizes her as something worth their attention. Vivienne needs to maintain her act as Madame De Fer, The Lady of Iron, the Court Enchanter, The Jewel of the High Court, because the second she just becomes Vivienne, it's over for her. The assassins coming raining in, her name gets devoured by rumors and gossip, and she'll be found dead at bottom of the stair case with a dagger in her back if she's lucky.

So of course when the Circles fall apart during the Rebellion, she clings to that Loyalist Mages to maintain that structure--of course she moves her pieces to the Inquisition, knowing that if the Circle DOES fall, she at least as another place for herself and mages latch onto--of course when she hears that Celene replaced her with a new Court Enchanter that appeared out of no where, she grows to resent Morrigan.

Like, Morrigan literally pops up out of thin air, makes herself invaluable to Celene, and then plants herself in the place Vivienne had to claw her way up to and create so she could survive. Would you not be resentful when your life's work is usurped by some random witch of the wilds because she happened to charm the Empress? Everything Vivienne strived for all whisked away because the court find a gem who glimmers ever so slightly more than Vivienne.

So yes, Vivienne fears becoming irrelevant because the world has made it so that irrelevance for an Orlesian mage means death.

[wyrmwright]

bro he does NOT want to hear you practice your villain monologue