#the deeper themes i work with for my stories are also always love and healing and the inherent good and beauty of the world and life itself

[mymarifae]

i just think it's funny that my fanfics are like "extremely lighthearted silly romantic comedy with only slightly deeper themes of learning to love yourself" and then you go look at my original works and it's like "girl haunted by the rotting corpse of the leviathan god her guardian tried to artificially engineer and abandoned beneath the earth when it started refusing to talk to him" and "protagonist cursed with a form of immortality that doesn't prevent death but simply resurrects them a short while afterwards, and so they die close to 100 times throughout their story and are forced to contend with every corner of the afterlife and limbo and also they're kinda sorta being hunted by a wretched incomprehensible beast from deep space that hates them personally"

[jgoddesstarot]

Pick-A-Pile: What Does Your Perfect Summer Romance Look Like?

👑Check out my masterlist to see all of my pick-a-card readings😊

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🔮Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are based upon my intuitive interpretation of the cards and about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

🔮How I read: I use a mix of tarot cards, oracle cards, along with my intuitive abilities of claircognizance, clairaudience, and clairsentience.

🔮How this works: Close your eyes and take deep breaths, pick the pile you are most drawn to. If you aren’t drawn to any pile then that’s okay, these messages aren’t for you.

Pile 1

Tarot Cards: Death, 3 of Swords, Judgement, Knight of Cups, 4 of Swords -- Bottom of the Deck Energy: 10 of Swords

Oracle Cards: Emotions, Universal Energy, Love

Alright, my Pile 1's, let's dive deep into your perfect summer romance. Your spread has a lot to say, so grab a cup of tea or coffee and get cozy.

Firstly, the Death card as the beginning of this story signifies transformation and profound change. Your perfect summer romance might very well start from a place of ending or closure. Perhaps you’re coming out of a challenging relationship or a period of personal transformation. This is not a bleak beginning; instead, it's an invitation to let go of the old to welcome the new.

Now, with the 3 of Swords, it appears there might be residual heartbreak or unresolved feelings from your past. This doesn't have to be about a past lover. It can be any pain that hasn’t been fully healed. Remember, our romances often reflect what’s going on inside us. If you're holding onto hurt, it can manifest in your relationships. However, my Pile 1's, this card coupled with the Death card, is a strong indication that you're breaking these cycles and moving towards healing.

Judgement speaks to rebirth and heeding a higher call. There's a realization in you, a kind of spiritual awakening. In the context of romance, this can mean recognizing true connections, being honest about what you want from a relationship, and leaving behind the superficial. Your perfect summer romance will challenge you to be your authentic self and to grow spiritually.

Then we have the Knight of Cups, the romantic dreamer of the tarot. This energy is one of a person or a situation that sweeps you off your feet. Following the themes of transformation, heartbreak, and rebirth, this Knight brings forward the beauty of a summer romance that's deep, emotionally satisfying, and dreamy. It's the kind of romance that feels like a soft, enchanting tune playing in the background of a warm evening.

The 4 of Swords is a reminder to take things slow and allow for moments of introspection and rest. While summer romances can be whirlwinds, this card suggests that your perfect romance is also filled with quiet moments, deep conversations, and time to relax and connect on a deeper level. This pace ensures sustainability and might even extend this summer romance beyond the season.

Now, peeking at the energy beneath it all with the 10 of Swords from the bottom of the deck, there's no sugarcoating that it’s a heavy card. This is the energy of feeling backstabbed, defeated, or reaching the end of the line. But remember, endings always make way for new beginnings, and in your spread, this ties back to the transformative energy of the Death card.

As for the Oracle cards: Emotions, Universal Energy, and Love — these three cards provide a broader theme for your reading. Emotions underline the importance of understanding and working through feelings (reflected in the 3 of Swords and 4 of Swords). Universal Energy suggests that the universe is conspiring in your favor, especially with the Judgment card resonating with being attuned to higher frequencies. And of course, Love being the central theme, emphasizes the Knight of Cups' energy, ensuring that this romance is filled with genuine affection, care, and passion.

In summary, my Pile 1's, your perfect summer romance is a transformative journey, one that brings about deep emotional healing, encourages spiritual growth, and offers both intense passion and moments of rest and reflection. Embrace the changes, work through past pains, and open your heart to the Universe's blessings. Your summer romance will be nothing short of magical. 🌞❤️🔮

Pile 2

Tarot Cards: The Hermit, Page of Wands, 2 of Wands, 2 of Swords, Page of Cups -- Bottom of the Deck Energy: Knight of Swords

Oracle Cards: Self-Esteem, Stability & Security, Presence

Welcome, my Pile 2's! I see some intriguing energy here as we explore what your perfect summer romance looks like. So, let's dive into the mystic realm of love together.

Starting off with The Hermit, this tells me that you've been doing some soul-searching or maybe taking some time away from the dating scene. My dear Pile 2's, it's like you've been on a personal quest, figuring out what you truly want in love. This introspective energy sets the stage for a romance that's deeply aligned with who you are and what you desire.

Now, the Page of Wands leaps in with fiery enthusiasm. After all that contemplation with The Hermit, you're ready to venture out into the world of romance with fresh eyes and a sense of adventure. The Page of Wands is about new beginnings and exploration, so you may find yourself drawn to someone unconventional or experiencing love in a way that’s exciting and different from the past.

Pairing this with the 2 of Wands, I see you taking control of your romantic destiny. You're no longer just dreaming about love; you're actively making decisions to manifest it. This card indicates a path opening, one filled with potential and possibilities. Your perfect summer romance isn't just a fleeting thing; it's an essential part of your journey.

But, wait! The 2 of Swords shows a moment of indecision or a crossroad. Don't fret, my Pile 2's. This could be a moment where you have to make a decision about the direction of your love life, possibly choosing between two suitors or paths. It's a delicate balance, and you'll need to tap into that wisdom you gained from your Hermit phase to navigate this.

The Page of Cups brings in a dreamy, emotional connection. Think heartfelt conversations, poetry, or maybe even a love letter or two. This card reinforces that this summer romance will not only be about physical attraction and passion (though the Wands have that covered!) but also a deep emotional connection. There's a tenderness here that adds to the beauty of this romance.

Now, let's glance at the energy beneath all of this, the Knight of Swords. This card is about swift action, determination, and sometimes a bit of impulsiveness. It’s like a gust of wind pushing you forward. Coupled with the Page of Wands, there's a strong sense of not letting fear or doubt hold you back. This summer romance may come on quickly, but that doesn't mean it's not genuine.

As for the Oracle cards: Self-Esteem, Stability & Security, Presence — these themes tie everything together beautifully. Self-Esteem aligns with The Hermit's energy, emphasizing that your self-awareness and confidence are key to attracting the right romance. Stability & Security resonate with the 2 of Wands, reminding you that grounding your choices in what truly matters will lead to a fulfilling connection. Presence underlines the importance of being in the moment, fully engaged with this romance, whether it's during a passionate night out or an intimate conversation over coffee.

In a nutshell, my Pile 2's, your perfect summer romance is one of self-discovery, adventure, choice, and emotional depth. You’ve done the work on yourself, and now the universe is ready to reward you with a connection that's both thrilling and soul-satisfying. Trust in your journey, be bold in your choices, and let your heart lead the way. This summer holds the promise of love that resonates with the true you. 🌻❤️🌟

Pile 3

Tarot Cards: 4 of Wands (in reverse), 7 of Cups (in reverse), 4 of Pentacles, 7 of Swords, 3 of Cups -- Bottom of the Deck Energy: The Hanged Man

Oracle Cards: Physical Body, Finances, Dreams, Relationships

Alright, my Pile 3's! Let’s unpack what the cards have in store for your perfect summer romance. Your layout is quite a blend of energies, but I promise you, there’s a story here that’s just waiting to be told.

Kicking things off with the 4 of Wands in reverse. Normally, the upright version of this card screams celebration and stability, especially in relationships. But in its reversed position, there might be some hesitations or delays when it comes to the solid foundation of a romance. It’s like you're awaiting that magical moment where everything just feels right. Don't be disheartened; every story has its own pace.

Next up, the 7 of Cups in reverse. This card upright usually indicates a dreamy state with too many choices or feeling overwhelmed by fantasies. But reversed? You're gaining clarity! After perhaps a phase of confusion or daydreaming, you’re now having a better idea of what you truly desire in a summer romance.

Moving on to the 4 of Pentacles, it's clear that security and holding onto things tightly is essential for you. This might mean that when you find someone special, you value loyalty and commitment. Or, it could also hint at a need to let go a little, to not hold onto feelings or past relationships too tightly. Given the context of the 7 of Cups in reverse, it feels like once you gain clarity on what you want, you're very determined to protect and keep it.

Ah, the 7 of Swords. This card often hints at stealth, deceit, or maybe just feeling like you need to go it alone. Perhaps there’s a bit of baggage from the past or a fear of being vulnerable. It’s crucial for you, my Pile 3's, to ensure that you're stepping into this romance with openness and trust, leaving behind any energies or patterns that don’t serve you.

Celebration time with the 3 of Cups! This card suggests that your perfect summer romance will be filled with joy, celebration, and maybe even a touch of friendship turned romantic. Imagine those endless summer nights filled with laughter, dancing, and genuine connection. This energy perfectly counterbalances the previous cards, hinting that while there might be some hurdles, the reward is genuine joy and connection.

Peering into the bottom of the deck, we have The Hanged Man. There's a sense of waiting, reflection, and seeing things from a new perspective. This energy ties the whole reading together. You’re being nudged to shift your perspective on love, to perhaps break free from old patterns, and embrace a new way of experiencing romance.

Now, let’s sprinkle in some Oracle magic: Physical Body, Finances, Dreams, and Relationships. These cards really do add depth to your reading. It seems that your summer romance will be intertwined with some significant aspects of your life. Your Physical Body card suggests the importance of physical attraction and perhaps even working together towards physical activities or goals. Finances might indicate that the two of you might embark on some joint financial ventures or dates that involve managing budgets. The Dreams card aligns well with the 7 of Cups in reverse – your dreams are becoming clearer, and this summer romance is very much part of that journey. And of course, Relationships ties back to the importance of connection, not just as lovers but also as friends (hello, 3 of Cups energy!).

Wrapping it up, my Pile 3's, your summer romance seems to be a blend of self-reflection, gaining clarity, letting go of past baggage, and embracing the joy of genuine connection. Remember to stay open, trust the journey, and allow the universe to work its magic. This summer promises moments of growth, joy, and a romance that resonates deeply with who you are. Cheers to that! 🌞🥂🌹

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[matan4il]

Hi, I’ve seen some gifs of that Thai show, but are those two actors together in real life too?

Hi lovely Nonnie!

Oh wow, I did not expect an ask about Kinnporsche The Series / Mileapo, but I probably should have since I went off a bit in the tags of that gifset reblog, didn't I? XD Please never take me too seriously whenever I claim two specific individuals have invented love, I'm just joking around. Unless I'm talking about David and Jonathan, because they totally did. ;p

But if I'm to try and answer seriously, I would say that officially, the last time either Mile or Apo have addressed the issue of their romantic status, they both said they're single (Mile in Aug 2022, Apo in July 2021 if I'm not mistaken). Of course, that's also the response I would expect from them if they were together. Because just like there are opposite sex couples who meet on the sets of movies and TV shows, and fall in love or just have an affair, there are same sex couples who go through the same thing. The difference is that society (and the entertainment business even more so) is still so homophobic, that these same sex couples often can't come out. I mean, if opposite sex couples sometimes feel they need to keep it to themselves, and we only find out about their romances decades later, like in the case of Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve (if we find out about them at all), then imagine how much harder it is for same sex couples who fall in love as co-stars... (or even when there's a same sex celebrity couple, period)

Other than Mile, Apo and the people they trust, no one really knows if Mileapo actually are a couple and have to be closeted, or if they're just truly the best of friends who bonded so much as co-stars on the set of KPTS that their behavior is hard to distinguish from the way lovers act towards each other. We also have to take into account that they're from Thailand, and the cultural norms for how men are allowed to interact can be very different. Especially when we remember that they starred in a BL (gay themed show) together, and the norm for that is heavy fan service. I AM convinced that even then, their bond runs deeper than fan service, especially since the original production of KPTS was canceled, and the production company that was set up instead explicitly said it would not require fan service. Plus, this company was co-founded by Mile to save KPTS and give Apo his second chance to shine as an actor, after he had been previously bullied by homophobes into leaving the acting world. So yeah, I have every reason to believe their connection is real.

And the fact that this is a part of their unhinged story (that they met briefly as models 7 years before they auditioned for KPTS, that they obviously thought the other one is an attractive man and remembered each other all of these years, that Mile watched Apo's shows, that they re-connected at the auditions and seem to have been inseparable since, for over 2.5 years now, that they fought together for KPTS to be made and then gave us on screen an astounding love story, that they chose to go on working together on their next projects, including the upcoming queer film Man Suang, and continue to hang out even outside of their busy schedule together) brings us to what is most meaningful to me about them. Whether their bond is romantic or platonic, it's clearly so deep that I wouldn't hesitate to call them soulmates. They love and care for each other, support one another, and I think they healed each other in ways that make me feel soft and happy to know that such love exists in the world. So I'm going to continue rooting for them, and possibly joke about it like I know that they're a couple, because in a very profound sense of the word, even if it's not romantic, they are.

This was probably way too long, my apologies. Okay, have a Mileapo being in sync gif just to make it a bit better...

Have a good day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[marshmallowprotection]

From all game timelines... In terms of writing, do you have a favorite Rika?

Oh, hands down?

If you're asking me for the most compelling arc that not only forces her to take accountability for her crimes from the very beginning, but also helps her get to a much-needed point of self-actualization where she can work on herself from prison getting the very help she needed from the start? Then, I'm going to tell you the Rika I enjoy the most is in Ray Route and the After Ending's Normal End.

The reason why the RAE's Normal End is Normal is because Rika is the one who makes a stand against Saejoong, rather than MC who's helping Saeran get the story behind his father's life so he can process what he needed, a deeper understanding of himself and pain so he's able to move on the way he wants to.

Rika taking a stand to say to tell Saejoong what she's thinks of him and HERSELF is one of the most poignant and powerful moments for her as a character. She tells Saejoong like it is, owns her shame and grief, admits that she needs help and to face punishment for a laundry list of atrocities she's committed. She tells him he needs to pay up an face his sins as well. She doesn't mince words and to see Rika Kim own everything she's denied is cathartic.

I stand by my statement I've always said. I want Rika Kim to take accountability for her actions.

I want her to face the prison sentence she deserves for everything she's done wrong, but I also want her to have self-actualization while she is facing her punishment for the rest of her life. She has to live with what she's done, and while it is just viable to hope that she lives in discomfort for the rest of her days, much like Saeran, I want her to find some peace over what she did suffer in life at the hands of those awful adoptive parents and the pastor who did unspeakable things to her.

I want her to live with what she's done. I want her to stay awake at night and think about all the awful things she has done to other people, and I want her to understand the depth of pain that has been inflicted on people because of her actions. But, I also want her to have the opportunity to heal from what she could never heal from to begin with. She needed a therapist who would be committed to her emotional needs rather than ignore the problem at hand and treat only surface level issues.

She still needs someone to talk to about her guilt and shame over Sally, her years spent feeling like a monster as a child until she took ownership of being called the devil to fight back against her pastor and her parents, and how devil and angel themes grappled with her on the inside for years as she struggled to find a sense of self outside of masking. She deserves the opportunity to talk to someone about those things. 

Having that chance doesn't excuse or erase her actions, because cool backstory and motive doesn't equate to an excuse for crime. I can't I have to point that out but narratively speaking, Rika is hated for a lot of justifiable reasons but for the people who think she's an interesting person and want to see her find some peace while facing DESERVED PUNISHMENT FOR HER CRIMES shouldn't get kicked over and over to hell and back for saying they like her in any capacity.

That really has nothing to do with your question, I just feel the need to say it because anytime I answer a question about her or Jihyun in a capacity that talks about their crimes, sometimes it gets twisted up as people think liking a character somehow equates to justification of their crimes.

Seeing Rika Kim own up to being a criminal was cathartic to me as a victim. Sometimes, you want that person who hurt you to own up to what they've done and walk right where they deserve to be. Like my love Saeran, I hope she finds some peace with her trauma, but I don't want to see her again after this moment, and this is the end to Rika's involvement in our lives as far as I'm concerned with my timeline with Saeran Choi.

For the people who haven't played the RAE Normal Ending or aren't particularly interested in doing so, I'm just going to paste this down below for you to look at. 

[sincerelystesichorus]

astarion, anne carson, & autobiography of red - small character study blurb

In which I've written 40k words of Astarion character analysis fanfiction and I'm definitely still normal.

Astarion used to be blue, but ever since that night two centuries ago, he was reborn red. And he had spent at least the past century thinking that red was irreplaceable. It was – red, it was in his blood and the little blood Cazador would let him wring from rats, corroded and stained. His very life force. He was Cazador’s, his spawn, his jewel, his ruby. There was no cure for red. Not until you became the successful means to an end. He had been sure of it. Being red wasn’t good. It made everyone who wasn’t red, and that felt like most everyone, stare at you like you put off a certain aura… like they knew you were a monster that could only act off of instinct and emotion. And it was so frustrating, because parts of Astarion were blue still, knew what was better, but they were nothing in comparison to the suffocation of red. The emotions, and especially anger, fear, came on so strong. It was hard not to act on them, to test out what the boundaries of pure action were. Astarion knew the color and impulse all too well.

I expand way more on the idea of people as colors within my writing than Autobiography of Red does, where Geryon is the only one who is red. This further pushes Geryon's feelings of being separated from humanity in his narrative, but there's a lot of inherent evil and fucked up things within Faerun so I felt expanding on colors and specifically shades/hues was a better way to communicate this for Astarion.

Geryon's red is tied very instinctually to emotion though, and so representing red as a chaotic force of emotion in my fic didn't feel like too far a step. I took a lot of inspiration from Magic: the Gathering's color pie lol. While you never get an exact description of what's wrong with Geryon, you get a lot of the symptoms, reminiscent of some sort of innate childhood mental illness, on top of the obvious trauma present in his story.

Back to Astarion, though. I've just never not been able to code him with CPTSD, I think that's obvious, but I also know that poor bastard has a personality disorder skffkjdf. The game always hammers in he has no sense of self outside of his looks, which he can't even be sure of because he can't see himself. Astarion has to work his confidence and self-image off of memories of his body and face from two centuries ago, and from his master's word. Cazador has assigned him to this seduction role (or, I feel its at least implied that Astarion was ultimately forced into it because he was seen as the Szarr runt, he was pretty and easy to push around, and I'm also pretty sure Petras has a line about getting to eat dogs now and then?) and Astarion fulfills it because it's all he can do. All he feels good for. His actions aren't his own for two hundred years, and in a morbid way of coping with constant sexual trauma, he functions off of "Well, at least I'm pretty," but even that assumption comes from Cazador's rule.

Astarion had decided he was mostly pure red, splashes of black and blue coming in, bright and visible. The remnants of his past and an even deeper level of Cazador’s corruption, bruising his psyche.

Carson is again sparing with other color imagery as to fully emphasize Geryon feeling like this big red monster, but I love this little excerpt on fearful anger.

Black/shadow is already a strong force and theme within the game so it was easy to work with, acknowledging it as a sort of staining evil. Astrion has his later lines about how he never stopped viewing himself as Cazador's slave, and I think showing that corruption is obviously important. He's hurt but can still heal (as opposed to an ascended Astarion... who I have little if any hope for sdfkjdskf).

Cazador had spent the last two centuries branding it into his skin and mind, breaking his psyche to the point Astarion was worried there’d always be little cracks that remained. That he’d always be Cazador’s wilted poppy, ashamed and folding in on himself, his neck miserably drooped aside for the taking. 

Cazador is Astarion's Herakles, and I think that metaphor works even better considering that whole little side lore with Vellioth in the ruins. Herakles kills Geryon because he must, Geryon is a way for Herakles to ultimately reach a life free of consequence, but it's not like Herakles is innately malicious in the act. He is hardened after already facing so many labors and the trauma that was forced on him by Hera that induced his journey in the first place.

Cazador wants power, some part of him is probably truly convinced he's easier on his spawn than Vellioth was to him (a lot of insults to Astarion are about his feelings and "whining", Cazador feels vindicated in his trauma and is far gone), and sacrificing Astarion is simply a part of that journey. There is no world where their destinies do not intertwine. Geryon will always be pierced by Herakles, and Astarion wouldn't be the Astarion we know without being pierced by Cazador (and without his ultimate decision to finally separate himself from him, or to become him.) Astarion, understandably, will never not feel some sort of shame or agony over this moment, from natural emotions and I'm sure years of Cazador victim-blaming him. He consented to Cazador's help that night after all, didn't he? (And we simply won't acknowledge the coercion.)

Astarion’s attempts to prolong the inevitable were shattered by thick layers of stone suddenly slamming in front of his face, muffling sound and casting him into a void. He could hardly hear Cazador’s foul laugh as he departed. Astarion waited all night for Cazador to return. And then all of the next day, and the next one after that. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Astarion started to agree that dying would have been easier. More peaceful. He had pondered hundreds of ways to attempt to kill himself while stuck in this abyss, the voices that had started developing only giving further inspiration, but it was impossible. He was sure.  All he could do was wait. Beat and claw at the stone around him. Curse. Repeat. Sometimes he'd wonder. If he'd ever get out of here. If Cazador would remember after forgetting. If this would be his forever. The voices began to recite to him again. Just how long eternity can be.

I think this is the greatest and most obvious similarity between these two, within Carson's retelling. Geryon feels somehow trapped and doomed by the narrative from his early childhood, and receives some blunt confirmation of it when he faces early sexual abuse. This affects his entire life, his early relationships. Geryon can't be older than ten in this excerpt, but knows the pain of isolation because of his trauma and for feeling different.

Astarion was plucked up by Cazador right out of law school. While for us it's not all that young, for elves he was fiercely immature, basically just starting to come into himself at his first big-boy job. Astarion was likely raised with a lot of privilege that also made him a bit more naive, his book smarts not meeting street smarts, which has him meet his end. In his undeath, that basically flips, Astarion plays his manipulation games and indulges in petty crime and seduction, unable to dedicate himself to studies. He reads and he's witty, but can you imagine the Astarion we know as a judge? It's giving Divorce Court. It's giving Judge Judy. (Honestly maybe that's what got him whacked in the first place.)

Astarion is already constrained to what Cazador lets him be as a slave. He's less than a person, and his own body is one of his greatest trauma sources.

All of this, to be punished so supremely when making an act of slight self-preservation. Astarion wanting to maintain some of his principles and let someone go. It becomes his greatest regret, his worst and most defining punishment. It's how Cazador breaks him.

I restructure some of the circumstances within my fic, as to better tie in the main romance, but it still functions as a punished act of self-preservation for Astarion. I'm also sure most people are familiar with the pain that solitary confinement can bring, but if not, it's genuinely inhumane and dehumanizing. Lack of stimulation is extremely damaging to the psyche, I wrote in Astarion breaking into psychotic episodes while enclosed, but even in game, he speaks about going catatonic. I'm sure minorly from exhaustion after fighting, but also from the isolation. His mind likely just drifted and dissociated beyond belief, and I can't imagine it. This is my favorite piece of Astarion's story we are given, it really is just so pivotal and heartbreaking, to be punished for having freewill in the most objectifying circumstances.

In summary to Astarion Ancunin I just sorta feel like this I guess...

ddfsdfdk but yeah just emo about my poor boy feeling so weird and disconnected yet so drowned in his own emotions you know...

[my homage to autobiography of red, fic series page, my ao3 page]

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

OC Nina Cerasus deep dive part 2.

Meet my OC from my Star-crossed story. (She is a young woman living in her early twenties on Naboo. The time period is before the Phantom Menace.) I already made a short list about her. This is a little more deeper and collected. I hope you enjoy knowing her and like her as much as I do. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. I made a mood board about how I imagine her, the pictures are from Pinterest.

have they / would they dye their hair? she is a natural dark chocolate brunette, maybe she would add some colorful highlights 

do they maintain eye contact when talking? definitely

what is their tell for lying? a small movement, she picks her right pinky finger.

do they have an accent? she speaks in Nabooan dialect, also, she has a raspy seductive voice. People often ask her if she has a sore throat. Sometimes she sounds out of breath because of her illness. 

what languages do they speak? basic, binari (droid), kenari, 

what kind of music do they listen to? alternative/ acoustic/classic piano, also I think she would like Lana del Rey, Hozier and Mitski

describe them in one word. What could happen to make them the opposite? Abandoned. / Stay by.

do they have any ghosts? yes, her mom died, her dad left, and Maul broke her heart 

what is their worst fear? left alone, die alone, being forgotten

what is a secret they do not tell anyone? she has a few:

That her relationship was with Maul (in my Star-crossed fic)  

She was there when her mom died. 

She was the one who unveiled her fathers frauds and thefts and sent him to jail. It's her revenge. 

what motto do they live by? Ad astra per aspera. - Through hardships to the stars.

if they were a famous figure, who would they be? she was inspired by many characters from movies or books, also from my own life, but if I have to say some concrete examples it would be Amal Clooney's and Dakota Johnson's dressing style, a lot of inpo comes from Ellie Saab and Zuhair Murad gowns. And Sofia Bush's voice.

Also she got her name from my highscool bff called Nina. (She passed away a few years ago sadly due to a car accident.) So it's like a memorial thing to name my oc of her. A few of her personality traits, her freckles and silly moments also given to my character that remind me of my friend. And the green eyes my oc has is coming from me.

personality: the constant fear of being abandoned, having trust issues and the feeling of never being good enough. And she is trying to be the best version of herself by working hard and passionately. She fears to show out her real emotions or build connections, especially romantic ones. 

what great moment shaped them to be who they are? Have they lived through the moment yet? 

discovering her heart disease

when her mom got sick her dad left them and made his own family

Maul choose revenge over her and left in the Phantom Menace, she thinks he just left and used her, she never knew he was the sith assassin till my Heavenbound fic

her grandma’s first accident, then her hospital rest time

Wolffe’s love changed her, healed her and made her trust him and believe in love

what is their fatal flaw? fear of abandonment and trust issues makes her make bad decisions

how do they feel about jewelry? painted nails? she likes celestial themed or rare, personalized dainty jewelry

she gets her nails done soft almond shapes, and always decorated with stars and moons and use sparkly nail polish

what kind of art are they? astrophile as a hobby, art deco as a style, romanticism as paintings and mythological in sculptures and a femme fatale archetype in movies/novels

do they play a sport? weekly pilates lessons and dancing in clubs

do they have a speech impairment? how would that translate across paper? she is well spoken, and intelligent. Also her voice is raspy but in a seductive way.

what could you do to betray their trust? lying 

what makes them smile? acts of kindness and gentleness, paying attention to her little things, also the starry sky, and her loved ones

if you had to choose something to make them go all john wick, who would it be? to protect her loved ones

do they swear? in what language? yes in basic mostly

how comfortable do they feel around strangers? she tries to seem calm and collected being in charge of the conversation, but she usually assesses and judges their gestures and researches their back intentions

are they extraverted or introverted? introverted 

do they stand straight? what is their posture like? straight and hard like a ballerina's posture

what is their sleep schedule like? when she has time after work on mini power naps on rare occasions, she’s more insomniac workaholic

would they consciously invade someone else's body space? even a stranger's? always holds a decent distance, except when she flirts

how do they feel about contact with other people? do they flinch? she doesn’t like touchy people and only hugs her loved ones

are they the first to hug? never (exception if when she hugs Maul)

what would make them kill / stop them from killing? her morals, she wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose and she avoids physical harm

how do they smile? do they have dimples? yes she has smaller dimples, and in her apples and on her chin, and it makes her diastema visible

what about their teeth -- braces? sharp teeth? dentures? yellow teeth? what about spots? hers are white and straight but she has diastema (a big space between her two front teeth)

how do they get others' attention? clear their throat? punch them? clears her throat,

do they talk with their hands? sometimes

what is their final goal? building her home, having a family and feeling safe

how would they describe happiness? being with the people she can trust and love, under the bright starry night admiring the comets

what is their biggest conflict? it doesn't need to be big for everyone else, only for them. 

she needs to learn to let others in and be open for love

it’s hard for her to understand that Wolffe is loves her and doesn’t have the intention to leave her

also letting go Maul, she never knew who he truly was and her ideal about him got shattered in my Heavenbound fic, she had a hard time learning the truth letting her feelings go and having a closure, after she meets him on Mandalore

how do they react to death? seel super sad, and isolate herself 

do they cry? how do they cry ? in silent tears, or sobbing and screaming in pain, but she is not a crybaby. she suppresses it and have “episodes” of panic attacks she refers to as“inner storms”

how do they react when someone else is crying? can they comfort a stranger? she tries to give some sort of solution or comfort, she is empathetic

how are they around pets? are they allergic to any? she is allergic to tooka cats, she loves wolves 

following up, do they have allergies? to some pollens, and tooka cats

do they take off their shoes going into a stranger's house? would they offer to do the dishes? she offers to help cleaning up

do they call strangers by their first name or title? she is a professional lawyer so she calls people on their title/ titled name or accost

how do they show fear? trying to hide it? shaking? etc. she tries to hide it and acting calm and collected, try to show out her fearlessness, her voice is tremble and she shake's lightly

what is their impact on other characters? she usually gives the impression of a beautiful, clever, well spoken intelligent women who is very elusive and cunning

how could any of these change by the end of the story? we can see her softened up and warm hearted true self in the end of Heavenbound, she heals her traumas from Starcrossed, lets go of her past and builds her own family. She learns to trust and she dies while she is defending others. 

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

let me know if you would like to be added!

[harmonyhealinghub]

Here We Go, Year Two of Harmony Healing Hub Blog! Shaina Tranquilino July 24, 2024

I can hardly believe it—Harmony Healing Hub is celebrating its first anniversary! A full year of writing, sharing, and connecting with all of you has flown by, and I'm filled with excitement as we embark on this second year together. Reflecting on the journey, I am deeply grateful for the encouragement, suggestions, and engagement from this amazing community. Your input has helped shape the direction of this blog, and I’m thrilled to share what’s coming up in the next couple of years.

Continuing My New Year's Resolution

One of my most fulfilling endeavours this past year has been my New Year's Resolution to donate to a different organization every month. This resolution has connected me with incredible causes and people, broadening my perspective and deepening my commitment to making a positive impact. I will continue to blog about these monthly donations, sharing insights into the organizations I feel called to support, their missions, and the difference they make in the world.

Diving Deeper into Tarot

Tarot has been a personal passion of mine for years, and I’m excited to dedicate more space on this blog to exploring it. I’m planning a special Tarot Blog Edition where I’ll delve into the meanings of each card, both upright and reversed. This series will be a journey through the Tarot deck, offering insights and interpretations that can aid in your personal and spiritual growth. Whether you’re a seasoned tarot reader or a curious beginner, I hope this series will inspire and enlighten you.

Sharing My Poetry

Poetry is another passion I hold dear, and I’m eager to share more of my work with you. Currently, I publish my poems on Instagram as TheTwilightTalesmith and have a few poetry books available on Amazon. This blog will become a new platform for my poetry, where I can connect more intimately with my readers and share the emotions and stories behind each piece. Expect to see a variety of poems that touch on different themes, emotions, and experiences.

Short Stories and Monthly Themes

A friend recently suggested that I share my short stories on the blog, organized by monthly themes. I loved this idea and am excited to incorporate it. Each month, I’ll choose a theme and post short stories that revolve around it. This approach will not only keep the content fresh and engaging but also allow me to explore different genres and styles of writing. From romance to mystery, fantasy to slice-of-life, there will be something for everyone.

A Realistic Approach to Blogging

While I initially considered dedicating one year each to tarot, poetry, and short stories, I realized that life doesn’t always adhere to such a strict schedule. Inspiration strikes unpredictably, and creativity flows best when it’s not confined. So, instead of rigidly sticking to a theme per year, I’ll go with the flow and write about whatever comes to mind that day. This approach will keep the blog dynamic and authentic, reflecting the natural ebb and flow of my creative process.

Thank You for Your Support

As we step into this second year, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to each of you for your support, feedback, and engagement. Your presence has made this journey incredibly rewarding, and I’m excited to continue sharing my stories, passions, and reflections with you.

Thank you for being a part of Harmony Healing Hub. Here’s to another year of creativity, connection, and growth!

With love and gratitude, Shaina

[theredcapeofk]

20 Questions More

A deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks @fazedlight for the tag!!

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

I have three main sources of inspiration:

my own brain where my ship and fandoms live rent-free.

tumblr: other people's works keep the passion alive and new ideas coming

discussing the ships and fandoms with other fans

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

So many of you guys do inspire me for so many different reasons it's hard to make a list.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

I love to have Eliza around she brings a sense of calm and reassurance to my scenes. I also love to have Esme, she's so cute and I like having her melt everyone's hearts from sheer cuteness.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

Writing and reading fanfics have taught me that my views tend to change on ships and tropes. So my never today could inspire me tomorrow.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

I don't know about a writing process... I get an inspiration and start writing. Sometimes I outline longer fics and sometimes the stories cannot be outlined so I let it write itself as I go. Of course I make the whole thing coherent.

If that wasn't cursed enough, I'll just add that there are times where my brain just won't English so I have to think my writing in French and translate it.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

The outpour of inspiration that makes me write until my eyes/fingers hurt

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

I honestly don't remember. But every research I ever make for a fic is a fall down the rabbit hole. You start by a word research and two hours later you end up watching a tutorial on how to comb a Giraffe's hair...(It never actually happened, but you get my point lol)

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

Sometimes all of the above plus typos and the sequence of tenses? This used to never be a problem, but the further I get from my English classes the blurrier sequence of tenses become.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

Fight scenes and action scenes. Like how am I supposed to describe who does what and how...?

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

Very often. In Change my Direction Kara was supposed to heal a lot faster. And then she didn't and here we are lol. In My Eyes are Up Here Kara was supposed to spill the secret sooner but she couldn't. And in a project I'm still working on on the rift era, Lena was supposed to cave in sooner but she's stubborn lol

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Definitely Kara and Lena. I have so many questions and I would love their take on what canon left unsaid. I would also like to speak to Brainy and Cat. I would pester Brainy about the 31st century to know the extent of Kara's and Lena's legacy. I'd ask Cat how she managed to create Catco and also what finally gave Kara away.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

Kara and Lena are always idiots in love in my fics and when they do admit their feelings to each other, they only live for one another.

As for themes, I tend to come back to the rift era because canon created a tension that needed solving and their version only broached the surface. And this conflict brought so many things to the surface for the characters there are so many alternate answers to be given I feel that it's an exploration that keeps on giving.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

My phone. I've been writing mostly on my phone for years and I love the flexibility it gives me. I can carry it around with me and write whenever inspiration strikes.

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

You guys actually have strategies for that? Hahaha. What I tend to do, is highlight words or sentences as I go along. Then, when I'm done with a chapter, I put the fic away for a few days and then I start re-reading the chapter from the start. Best-case scenario I take the highlights off, worst-case scenario I highlight more stuff lol. As some words need translating I try to do this step incrementally because I know how long or hard the language check can be.

When I get stuck to a point where I can't move on, I beg my English speaking friends for help. @lenaralanvers has helped me so much since 2021

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

The summary is always my absolute nemesis

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

I think I define it from the hits.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

I do have a playlist for Supercorp and it's always growing. There's a lot of Celine Dion and Greek pop songs in it. There's something about Celine Dion's voice and late 90's and early 2000's songs that just screams Supercorp to me. The Greek pop songs have a special way of expressing pain and regret that fits perfectly with the rift era.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

If I had to pick someone, I would commission them :). maybe 2024 is the year I finally do this.

And if anyone wants to create fanart from any of my fics please feel free to.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

Phew...tough question! I don't have time to actually count them all, but I'd say twelve? out of the top of my head. Some will be one shots, some will hopefully become multichapters.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

If you want to write fanfic go for it. Don't let anything or anyone stop you from ever writing. Never plagiarize anyone and if you get your inspiration from someone, always give credit.

- - - - -

Tagging (respectfully and without pressure). If you've done the game before, feel free to send me a link to it ;) @chaotic-super, @lenaralanvers , @inkedroplets , @fyonahmacnally if you want some rapid-fire q's thrown your way. But also anyone who'd like to do this!

[divinepriestesskokomi]

Oh my god, Emilie's quest was SO good. I have so many thoughts about it. Spoilers undercut of course

One of the things I really enjoy about Genshin is the way they explore such deeper relationships between a person and their field of work/study. Like with so many characters, there are also so many different jobs they have, a lot of which I had honestly never given much thought to before. Like obviously I know that there are people who are very passionate about their jobs, but in a lot of cases I never really understand why. For example, Kaveh and his views on architecture are things I don't think would have ever crossed my mind before, but now I have a much greater appreciation for.

Now we have Emilie and perfume. Before this I never really gave perfuming any thought, but the way this quest explores the relationship between scents, emotions, and life and death, I honestly feel like I have a much greater appreciation for it now. I just found it really thought provoking.

Now as for Emilie herself, I absolutely adore her. She's so fun intelligent and sweet.I love how calm she is, yet she's so in tune with other people's emotions. She's seen so much death and grief that she's able to really empathize with people and understand the struggle of human emotions. I still need to listen to her voice lines and read her lore, but I adore her so far, I hope we get to see more of her.

I really appreciate seeing such different views of death being explored. Obviously it's a dark subject that is difficult to discuss for many people, so characters like Emilie and Hu Tao who have such a unique view of death is so fascinating. I can't put all my thoughts into coherent words right now but you get the idea. And can I just say, this line? I had to pause and just think for a bit cause oh my god.

And you know, obviously as a Tighnari girlie I was very excited about him being in this quest. We just keep getting more and more content with him that like, supports my head cannons about him. He really does have a knack for making friends with so many people, bro has guest starred in 3 character story quests (not counting his own) and 2 hangouts. He also continues to be so supportive of all his friends, bro is always gassing them up. Anytime his friends are too humble or self conscious he's just like "no you are downplaying your own intelligence and abilities and I won't stand for it." I love him so much omg. Look at his smile I am in love with him

I also think the parallels between Emilie and Tighnari are so interesting. They both have flowers as their motif, but they kind of have a life and death theme going on. Tighnari uses his knowledge to help promote growth and healing in nature, while Emilie uses hers to lay those who have passed to rest. It's an interesting dichotomy.

And don't even get me STARTED on Collei's part in this quest. I was so excited when she showed up, and she did NOT disappoint.I am SO happy to see them acknowledge her past, even in a vague way like this. The way she personally empathized with Kirya's desire for revenge and how he feels consumed by anger and hatred because she knows what that feels like. The way she couldn't help but wonder if she would have ended up like him if not for the people who helped pull her out of that dark place. This shot in particular gutted me. Even more so after finishing the quest and realizing that she's saying this in front of the man in question.

God it was SO good. It's nice knowing they haven't forgotten all about Collei and her lore. I'm really hoping that her inclusion in this quest could maybe be a sign that they are going to explore her past more in game (since we really only get to see it in the manga). I hope they will finally give her a hangout, my girl deserves it.

Anyways sorry for how long this was, idk how to end this post, bye.

[hamliet]

Hey!

I saw your ask in the tag about loving qaf questions so here's one for you.

What are your thoughts on Justin/Ethan's relationship during britin's breakup era? I know that a lot of people don't like that time but I love it. Not so much watching Justin with Ethan lol but it makes an otp for me when they have a breakup era - all the sexual tension, angst and pining. Also I can't really take Justin/Ethan seriously because it's kinda cringe for me and tbh there's some scenes I haven't watched because of the second hand embarrassment 😅.

I think they kinda did Ethan dirty when they had him cheat on Justin the way that they did. It would've made more sense in my opinion to capitalise on the fact that Ethan was asking Justin to lie about who he was. That keeping it a secret especially after what Brian and Daphne said about it started to play and affect Justin's mind. This then would cause tension between them, arguments etc. So that when Ethan does go off to play his concert and cheat on Justin it would've made more sense than just cheating on him the first time he's away from him. They could've played with that narrative more and also made the intern/boss arc longer before reuniting britin.

P.S Please pet your cute dog for me he's adorable!

Hello! Thank you for the ask! I have petted the puppy. He says thank you. (Also, I'm realizing half the gifs I use for metas are made by you? You're amazing!)

My thoughts on Justin/Ethan's relationship is that it needed to happen for the story, for the themes, and for both Justin and Brian to develop as characters. So, I'm in the same boat as you! I kind of love what it does for the story even as I'm obviously not out here like, rooting for the relationship to succeed.

I liked that they had Ethan cheat on Justin, but I do agree with you that they could have done more with the "hide who you are" plotline to make it resonate more. (That's generally my complaint about QaF's weaker plotlines--not that they inherently don't work for the characters or story, but that more could have been--and in some cases needed to be--done). For Justin/Ethan as a plotline, it still works in my opinion even without the deeper dive, though it is less rich than it could have been. I definitely saw it coming because of what Ethan represented in the story: Justin at his very worst.

So why does this work so well as a symbolic (Ethan=shadow Justin) plotline? Well, each QaF season had Justin and Brian’s arcs acting as mirrors or parallels, because their arcs and relationship always embodied each season’s major theme. 

Season 2 had Brian going out of his way to hide his best self:

never telling Justin he visited him every night in the hospital;

pissing on Justin's drawing of himself as a superhero;

literally pushing Justin into other peoples' arms (the hustlers for his birthday even before Ethan).

Brian's self-hatred is at the core of his arc (thanks to his abusive parents). Hence, despite being a supposed hedonist who goes after what he wants, he doesn't go after love or belonging, because he doesn't feel as if he can have those. He stops at sex because he doesn't believe that love, if it exists, could be for him.

His self-hatred bubbles over and spills onto Justin: he spends season 2 in some ways trying to make Justin become more like him instead of more like Justin. Not manipulatively or with awareness, of course, but he does so anyways. Hence, it fits in an ironic sense that the first time Justin breaks the rules of their open relationship he does so by literally imitating Brian in their first sex scene, and when Justin cheats with Ethan, he tries to apologize using the same vague terms Brian earlier used. By trying to get rid of the art of himself as a superhero and pushing Justin into others' arms, Brian was also trying to deny one of the best parts of Justin--Justin's capacity to love wholly and unconditionally.

Loving Justin is part of Brian's healing--learning he can be loved and can love, and of course, loving the hurting inner child who was abused in his past. Hence, Season 3 forces Brian to accept the best parts of himself (hence why it climaxes with him literally sacrificing everything to save others, and Debbie telling him that he has innate goodness like every other person).

So why am I talking so much about Brian instead of Justin and Ethan? Because while Brian is going through this arc, Justin goes through a mirrored arc: facing the worst in himself. Throughout Justin and Brian's relationship, Justin was kind of the light (sunshine being his nickname). I've talked about Justin being a classic Jungian inner child before, and the danger here is that he could have been pigeonholed as a symbol of innocence. But, like all characters in QaF, he's human and human beings are much more complex than any kind of symbol or ideal. Thus, it made sense Justin fuck up to put them on more than an even plane.

Ethan was very similar to Justin: passionate about art, very romantic, very free to declare he loved someone. But he was also a liar, a cheater, and prone to fear (like wanting to pretend he was straight). Fear isn't an unsympathetic emotion, but it certainly doesn't lead to good things in QaF. Think about how many times Justin ran away from or avoided people who confronted him about--anything. There was:

Jennifer when she asks if he's gay;

Brian after the robbery during which Justin steals his credit card and waits for Brian to find him;

Daphne after they have sex;

Brian when he offers to help him with school.

This isn't to say Justin didn't have good reasons for being afraid or that Jennifer or Brian were entirely in the right in said moments (they certainly weren't). It's just to say that this is a flaw Justin has... but you can't run away from your worst self. You have to accept it if you ever want to grow up.

But yeah. Ethan was all of these things in a person, and Justin needed to experience all of these--and to find himself the one who needed to ask forgiveness. But he knows that he has worth even though he has flaws, which is why he tells Brian:

I know I've made some mistakes, but I think you'd be making an even worse one by not giving me another chance.

This also contrasts Brian’s philosophy, as is demonstrated in the same episode when he fires Justin by telling him “you fuck up, you’re gone.” No one can live or grow by those standards. Brian loving Justin despite his flaws helps show Brian that he can be loved despite his, and Justin meeting his worst self and coming out of it an even better and bolder person was so important to both their relationship and their respective character arcs.

Love means loving all of someone--their worst flaws, their best potential, and encouraging them to grow. It doesn't mean disguising flaws or hiding the best traits (Ethan telling Justin to hide their relationship while also calling Justin his "muse"). You can't love someone if you aren't honest with them about who you are, and accepting love from someone who doesn't know all of who you are isn't really love. That's why it's important Justin meet his worst and Brian meet his best, so that they can see both in each other and find an even deeper, more real love with one another.

I also liked Justin/Ethan in the sense that it emphasized QaF's perspective on love: love is a verb. Brian isn't the only one who went "on loving" Justin (as Justin himself says) after Justin left him. Justin went on loving Brian, as shown through him proving the nephew lied. In contrast, if you compare Justin and Ethan's relationship, it's all about emotions and grand ideals, no practical action. Justin is Ethan's "muse." Ethan wants him to pretend he's straight and his cousin. Justin being worried after seeing Ethan with another guy "just goes to show how much I love him," as Justin literally says to Daphne. There are no actions to back this up.

In contrast, during the internship arc, Brian literally tells Justin:

Oh, that is so like you! You don’t hear what you want, so you leave. Try standing up for yourself for a change? Have some balls!

Firstly, oh look, a callout to Justin’s tendency to run. But Justin’s response is an action, not more words: he kisses Brian. And Brian kisses him back. He can lie in words/run away himself in avoiding saying certain words, but he can’t lie in action. 

[curetapwater]

Shadow for the bingo meme?

Skdhshshs love himmm

For a lot of reasons. Like on a surface level he's just really cool!! His design is awesome, both badass yet adorable at the same time! Imo he neither feels out of place in super serious nor lighthearted settings.

On a deeper level, I adore the themes of his arc regarding healing from trauma, breaking free from cycles of toxicity, and actively choosing to make the world a better place despite it all. I have a particular thing for characters who were specifically created for certain purposes, only for them to explore personhood outside of just being a tool. It's why a lot of my favorite stories feature some form of destiny as a heavy theme. Shadow has that going for him multiple times over!! With various people and factions effectively pulling him in all directions and him ultimately deciding to follow his own path.

I also think his power set is so cool! He can wield weapons, he's basically a wizard with all those Chaos powers, he's got a set of space-age rollerblades!!!!!! I am staunchly of the belief that he doesn't NEED the air shoes to go as fast as Sonic, he just wears them because they're cool. He looked at a motorcycle and said "I can figure this out" and he was right. One time he like. Rode on an eagle or something and it didn't feel out-of-character. I'm pretty sure he flipped a truck with his non-dominant hand once.

And yet he's so vulnerable!! He's just a kid and all this is happening to him!!!!!! I mean, that's true of 90% of Sonic characters lol but I mean Shadow tries So Hard to make you forget he's ultimately a child who's working on himself. A super cool, super-powered child but a child nonetheless. I've heard people say his current English VA sounds like a "tryhard" but imo that's part of his appeal. Honestly I adore Shadow's specific flavor of "I'm trying so hard to be cold but my giant gooey heart keeps seeping through."

I remember when I was really little and I'd watch my older relatives play Sonic Adventure 2, and at first when I saw Shadow I legitimately couldn't categorize him into "good guy" or "bad guy." (I also couldn't follow the story because I was a toddler lol) His design and boss battles with Sonic told me "bad guy" but his flashbacks with Maria and the way he patted the Chao's heads muddled the waters for me. So I also appreciate him being a gateway into more complex ways of viewing characters.

With all of this that we've been given, he's a very interesting character to see pieces of oneself in. For one example that's close to me, it's basically canon that he's mentally ill (in SA2 he displays PTSD symptoms and in his title game there are pathways where he expresses symptoms of depression) and also has a lot of external trauma happen to his brain (multiple cases of brainwashing/memory altering/mind control plus blunt force trauma so bad it gave him amnesia) that makes it hard for him to distinguish what's real. So as a neurodivergent person it delights me to see this character honestly, legitimately struggle with not only everything placed upon his shoulders but his own brain chemistry on top of it. He doesn't always make the best choices (to say the least) but in the end he makes a conscious effort to do right by the world and I think that's incredibly inspiring. His character song Never Turn Back lays out this facet of his character perfectly.

I put a halfway cross on "didn't get enough screentime" because in the 2000s he got a lot of attention but in the 2010s not so much. It seems that might be changing soon and I sure hope it does!!!

I put another one on "got done dirty by the fans" because I feel it's less so fans and more other people that make Shadow out to be a far less compelling character than he really is. I also don't appreciate how he's used as an avenue to bash goth and emo teens who are just trying to enjoy themselves. "Lol who are you, Shadow the EDGEhog" like is that an insult to be compared to such an awesome character???

I put a cross over "I'd be scared of them irl" but that only applies to those times he went oopsie daisy and tried to destroy humanity. Otherwise I'd actually feel very safe in his presence. I'd give him a cookie and trade anime recommendations with him.

[accioxreparo]

ink stains

synopsis: soulmate au in which every mark that appears on your body also appears on your soulmate’s body including, as you discover one day, drawings. Needless to say you’re determined to make your soulmate smile, even if you haven’t found them yet.

pairing: George Weasley x ravenclaw!reader

warnings: none

a/n: Hi I’m late to the party but @thoseofgreatambition is doing a soulmate theme night and I’m a ho for soumate au’s so hopefully mine is decent enough lol also I may or may not be writing one for fred too but it’s taking me ages so 

tagging: @the-hufflepuff-of-221b

~~~~~~

When you were six years old you woke up one morning to dark stains splattered all over your face and arms. You were confused and quickly grew panicked, absolutely positive that you had contracted Dragon Pox overnight. It had taken an hour for your dad to calm you down enough so he could explain with a small grin that your soulmate must’ve spilled an inkwell on themselves. 

“What do you mean?” You had asked with wide, curious eyes.

“Well,” Your dad had reached for the bedside table and picked up a quil. “Everybody has a soulmate, Y/N. One day you start being able to see the marks that appear on your soulmate's body, permanent or temporary. For you, that day happens to be today.” He dipped the quil in a well filled with bright blue ink and handed it to you. “Why don’t you give it a try? Write your soulmate a message.”

“What if they don’t write back?” You had frowned then, suddenly worrying that maybe this mystery person on the other end would want nothing to do with you. 

“Well that’s okay,” Your dad had been quick to reassure you. “They might not be able to see the marks yet. But one day they will and I just know they’ll be ecstatic to know you’re here.”

After that day there was a constant stream of doodles all over you. Vines snaking up your ankle. Twisting patterns winding around your fingers. Planets and stars littering your collarbone area. Stripes of random colors all over your palms as you mixed new colors. The most detailed pictures were always on your left arm though, that was where you practiced new drawings. 

Occasionally you wrote a message but mostly you drew. Then one day you bought a book about charms to cast on drawings in Flourish and Blotts and you begged your dad every chance you got to cast them for you. After that at least a few pictures were always moving up and down your body.

When you got your very own wand at the age of eleven they were the first spells you practiced. By the end of your first year at Hogwarts you had mastered the whole book. Since then there was always a constant supply of different colored inks in your bag and pockets. The array of multicolored moving pictures that changed every day was your one connection to your soulmate. 

They had yet to write back. 

It had been ages since you first found your connection to your soulmate. You’d dealt with scars and bruises and occasional scribbled reminders but never once had you ever received even an acknowledgment of anybody seeing your drawings. 

You tried not to let it bother you, you really did. But it seemed like every single person around you had known their soulmate for years, in one way or another. Some days the smile you wore wasn’t quite genuine, the longing you felt growing a little deeper at times, but never once did you fail to decorate your limbs with gentle reminders that you were there for your soulmate to find on themselves. 

Not until that day. You were set to leave for school the next morning and your father had taken the week off of work to see you off. The two of you, your older brother, and your younger sister were probably too focused on the quidditch match you had going against each other in the backyard of your house. So much so that the bludger hit your way completely blindsided you. 

The match ended with panicked shouts, a trip to St. Mungos, and your left arm wrapped tightly in cloth bandages as it rested in a sling while your bones healed. 

It was only when you were sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express that the strangest thing happened. Words scrawled in letters that weren’t your own had appeared on your right arm. 

Nothing new today? 

As you stared at the writing with wide eyes, more words appeared underneath those. 

I’m sure this is bending the rules but I had to know. Something’s wrong isn’t it?

Frantically you dumped out the contents of your bag, scattering them all over the floor of the compartment. You dug around the mess you had made until you found a self-inking quil. Just as you were about to write your response you caught sight of the bandages on your arm and gave a defeated sigh. 

“Would you like some help?” 

You looked up and saw Luna, a friend of yours a couple years below you, watching you with an amused smile. The two of you would always sit up late in the common room together, swapping theories and stories about anything and everything. 

“If you don’t mind,” You gave her a sheepish look and she only smiled before moving to sit next to you. 

“What would you like me to write?” Luna asked as she took the quil out of your hand. You smiled and told her, watching as she took your arm and wrote out your words for you. 

What makes you think something is wrong?

It was seconds later when you received your response. 

Not once in the six years since I’ve been able to see your drawings have you let a day pass where you don’t add new ones. What’s wrong? 

A smile graced your face and Luna was kind enough to help you continue the conversation happening on your arm. 

I’m fine. Just a Quidditch injury. I’ll have the bandages removed by tonight, don’t worry. 

Take your time. I don’t want you to hurt longer than you have to, love.

You were sure it was cheating, talking to your soulmate by writing messages on your arm. But if whatever soulmate forces were out there didn’t want you to talk to them then there shouldn’t have been such a simple loophole. 

That’s what comforted you late that night, now gently scrawling messy words quickly on your arm that had been broken only the day before. Never before had you been more thankful for Skele-Gro. 

Can I ask you something?

The print you wrote with was small on purpose, trying to keep as much room available as possible. It didn’t stop you, however, from doodling new little pictures on the back of your hand. 

Go for it.

Why haven’t you ever said anything before? Why now?

You stared at the words you had written for a few moments before sighing and heading to the bathroom that was connected to your room. Only after staring at the words covering both arms now for a minute or two did you start washing away the ink you had put there. 

For a minute you thought that you shouldn’t have asked. You stood in silence, watching as the remainder of the ink, the part written in your soulmates handwriting, was slowly washed away leaving only faint ink stains. Then to your relief a response came after it was all gone. 

I was worried. And let’s just say I’m not as artistic as you are, my talents lie in other places. 

For a second the writing stopped but then more words appeared, quicker than they had before. 

Also I may have missed seeing you draw new pictures for me a little too much.

You beamed at the words and walked back to your bed. After the curtains were pulled around it you lit the end of your wand and picked up your quil again. 

Do you like them? The pictures. 

The response was almost immediate. 

I love them.

***

“Miss Y/L/N.” 

You jumped in your seat at the sound of a voice calling your name. Slowly you looked up from where you were taking notes on nonverbal spells. Professor Flitwick stood only a few feet away with an exasperated look on his face. Meanwhile both of the Weasley twins sat at their desk looking quite satisfied with whatever they had just done. 

You’d been correct to assume they were behind whatever loud noise had been going on only minutes before. The desk the twins were sitting at was now charred and the other Gryffindors surrounding them were chatting excitedly about whatever it was you missed while your nose was buried in your charms book. 

Neither Fred or George Weasley missed the fact that you were trying and failing to keep back an amused smile.  

“You’ll be getting a new partner to do your project with,” Professor Flitwick lifted his wand and with a single flick a bag and a pile of unused textbooks was flying across the room and into the empty space next to you. “Mr. Weasley.” 

Both boys stood at the same time wearing matching smirks and chorused, “Yes, Professor?” 

You covered your mouth with your hand to stifle your laugh when Professor Flitwick sighed and shook his head upon realizing that he really should have seen that coming. “Mr. George Weasley. Come meet your new partner.” 

Oddly enough said person didn’t look disappointed by the new assignment at all. Instead he grinned as he approached you, sliding into the chair beside you easily. 

You could count the number of times you had spoken to George Weasley on one hand. The first time had been during potions when he’d asked to borrow some foxglove for a pompion potion. It wasn’t the potion you’d been assigned to brew but you hadn’t questioned it. The second time he’d walked up to you and your friends after a quidditch match to congratulate Ravenclaw on their victory against Slytherin despite the fact that none of you were on the team. And the third time was only a few weeks before when he asked to borrow a spare quil in transfiguration. 

You doubted he remembered any of that though. 

“So partner,” George leaned on the desk, head resting on one of his hands as he looked at you. “What do you know about,” He reached over to look at the piece of parchment you’d been taking your notes on. “Nonverbal spells? That’s our topic?” 

“It is,” You nodded and reached for your notes, hoping he wouldn’t flip over the parchment to see the drawings you’d absentmindedly doodled during the lecture. “Is that a problem?” 

“Not at all,” George’s smile turned softer then as he stared at you, a fact which you noticed. You turned away quickly as you felt your face burn, hoping silently that it wasn’t too noticeable. “On the contrary. From what I hear you’ve already mastered a few nonverbal spells yourself Y/N, dearest.”

You froze then, not sure which revelation surprised you more. The fact that apparently you had developed a reputation without you knowing or the fact that George Weasley of all people knew your name. 

You tried your hardest to fight the temptation to ask how he knew you and why. 

“Class is almost over,” Your words came out rushed and a little too loud to sound natural. It wasn’t a complete lie. In just ten minutes you’d all be dismissed and that was hardly enough time to make even a small dent into your project. “We should meet sometime before our next class to get started if we want to have it done by the due date.”

“You’re so...ravenclaw,” George spoke after a few moments. When you looked at him again he was still giving you that same soft smile, a different sort of glint in his eyes than the one you were used to seeing every now and then.

For a second your thoughts drifted to the words scrawled on your right arm and the pictures on your left. They were covered up by the sleeves of your sweater as they usually were but you could picture the words you and your soulmate had written to each other earlier that day clearly. 

“Is that a bad thing?” You found yourself asking, for some strange reason not being able to bring yourself to pull away from George’s gaze. 

“No,” He shook his head gently almost immediately. “It’s perfect.”

***

You had to give credit where credit was due. When it came down to it, George Weasley could in fact step up to the plate. 

Even now, an early Sunday morning the day after a trip to Hogsmeade, he sat right in front of you. 

You knew for a fact he had been up late the previous night causing his usual mischief alongside his brother. One of the Ravenclaw prefects had been patrolling the halls and you overheard him complaining about having to send the twins back to their dorm for the fourth day in a row when he entered the common room.

It had made you smile. 

You’d spent at least a couple hours each day alongside George for the past two and a half weeks. Some of that time had indeed been spent on your project but you found it easier to talk to him than you thought it would be. You couldn’t even begin to count the variety of tales he told you just to hear you laugh.

That, however, meant that the two of you had developed a tendency to avoid your work resulting in you being behind. The next day the two of you would have to present in front of the class. You had already gotten away with postponing the presentation twice. 

The first time you had told Professor Flitwick that you needed more time to gather as much information as the topic deserved. The second time George had eaten one of the products he had told you he was working on, one he called a nosebleed nougat. It had worked like a charm and the moment you left the classroom with him he ate another candy and it stopped.

It was the only reason the two of you had woken up at that godforsaken hour of the morning on a Sunday. There was simply no other option now.

“I think all of our research is done and I can write up some notes for us to remember during the presentation,” You reached for another roll of parchment from your bag to do just that before dipping your quil in an inkwell filled with bright blue ink. “But we still need to practice some nonverbal spells for the practical demonstration. What do you think we should -”

It wasn’t until you looked away from the pile of books in front of you and at George that you realized he had dozed off.  His head was resting on his arms which were crossed on the desk in front of him and he looked almost peaceful for once. 

The corner of a piece of parchment was sticking out from under one of his arms and suddenly you couldn’t help yourself. Slowly you leaned forward until you could reach the parchment and you began to sketch a field of flowers on the paper in various ink colors. 

You didn’t notice your own smile as you did so. 

Then the end of your quil brushed across George’s face and he almost immediately bolted up in his seat. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes once more he looked over only to find you biting your bottom lip to keep from laughing. 

“You look suspicious,” George narrowed his eyes at you playfully when he saw the look on your face, still not noticing the addition to his parchment. 

“Do I?” You smiled then as you leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms in front of you. 

“You do,” He leaned forward on the desk again and the grin you’d come to see on a regular basis returned. “May I ask why?” 

“No reason at all. I’m just excited to learn some nonverbal spells is all,” You laughed as you stood from your seat, squinting a little at the late morning sun shining through the windows. “Speaking of, I’m gonna go search for some books a friend of mine recommended with some spells we could use.” 

“Do we not have enough of those here?” George said as he glanced at the pile of no less than seven books, none of which he could remember anything about. 

“Those are all on history and theory. We need something on practical application.” 

“Right,” George let out a sigh as he reached for one of the unopened books. “You’re lucky I like you. I can’t remember the last time I did this much reading for a project.” 

You hummed and then shook your head, a soft smile playing on your lips. “Don’t I feel honored.” 

“Just get on with it,” George glanced up from the pages of the book he’d been flipping through and at you again, this time with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Faster we finish with this, the sooner we can sneak into the kitchens for a late breakfast.” 

You were quick to agree. George watched as you disappeared behind one of the bookshelves. It was only when he was sure you were gone that he rolled up the sleeve of his sweater and reached for a quil, quickly scribbling a message to his soulmate on his right arm. 

When he was done writing the message he caught sight of the flowers that you had drawn on the corner of his parchment and he grinned. Almost absentmindedly he started drawing flowers around your own, albeit a little simpler than the designs you had made. It took a minute for his eyes to widen, quil falling out of his hand, realizing that the flowers you had drawn on the paper he had already seen dozens of times before. In fact, a variation of them sat on his left arm now.

***

Finally four hours later you and George sat in the kitchens which you’d found surprisingly empty. Breakfast and lunch had come and gone and the two of you had gladly accepted a variety of foods from a couple of the house elves. 

You were completely oblivious to the way George was studying you closely, trying as hard as he could to see if he was right. 

“Puddlemere United,” He said when he caught sight of the patch sewn onto the jacket you were wearing. “I take it you’re a fan?” 

“I sort of have to be,” You laughed a little when you saw the confused look flash on George’s face. “My dad is Puddlemere’s captain.”

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not, promise,” You smiled as you shook your head. Without hesitation you pulled off your jacket, flipping it around so the back was visible, and pointed to a navy blue crest with the Puddlemere United logo and the word ‘captain’ across it in bold, golden letters. “Has been for a few years now and here’s your proof.” 

But when you looked at George he wasn’t looking at the jacket at all. Instead he was staring at the variety of words and pictures covering your arms. You could see his eyes darting back and forth and quickly pulled your arm away and under the table. 

“Wait,” He reached across the table and took your hand in his, slowly turning your arm around so he could see all every single stroke of ink. You could only watch as he gently traced the designs with his free hand. 

The moment was soft, intimate in the purest way. You swore you could hear your own heart thumping louder each second that passed. It reached its peak when George placed your arm on the table in front of the two of you only to pull off the sweater he’d been wearing. It was then that the breath you were holding in left you. 

Every single ink stain on your arms was perfectly reflected on his. Now that you looked closer you wondered how you hadn’t recognized his handwriting right away, you’d spent the last few months writing back and forth after all. You’d been so focused on the drawings and the writing that you hadn’t noticed what, or rather who was right in front of you. 

“I knew it was you, you know.” 

Your laugh was light when you finally dared to look at George once more. He was looking at you with pure and utter adoration and you were positive you wore the same expression. “Did you now?” 

“I did,” George grinned as he took your hand again, more confident than he had previously been. “Remember our first year when I asked you for that foxglove? I was supposed to nick it from one of the shelves but you had your sleeves rolled up and I swore I saw the edge of the stars you had drawn earlier that day. I went to get a closer look but they were covered again.” 

“And I suppose it was the same thing in transfiguration a month ago?” You shook your head with an amused smile as you thought back to the encounter. It all seemed so obvious now.

“It was. Same thing with the quidditch match a few years ago too,” He leaned forward as if what he were about to tell you were a secret. Suddenly it was like he couldn’t let you go, not that he’d ever want to now that he’d finally found you. “What made me almost certain though was the little drawing you left on my parchment earlier. I knew I’d seen those before.” 

“Well I suppose it’s a good thing you’ve kept your eyes open unlike me apparently,” You were beaming as you glanced down at the matching pictures present on both of you. “What do we do now?” 

“I’m glad you asked,” George immediately stood, pulling you up with him. He grabbed hold of your jacket still sitting on the table and started pulling you out of the kitchens. “Now that we’ve found each other we’re going to make up for lost time.” 

“By doing what exactly?” You asked, eyebrows raised questioningly and a slight smirk on your face. 

“Head out of the gutter, love,” George laughed as the two of you walked back up the stairs still hand in hand. He looked down at you with a wild grin on his face. “We’re going on our first date if you’re up for it.” 

You agreed instantly and happily followed to wherever it was George would take you, just as you knew you always would from that moment on.

[writeblrcafe]

Digital Interview with @melodiesandwords​

A. sits down at a table in Writeblr Café and orders a beer. We start talking about their writing. They write poetry, prose and any thoughts or feelings that linger in them. They also write fantasy and romance!

What got you into writing?

"It's such a hard to believe story, but one of my friends gifted me a beautiful diary and it was through that diary I inculcated the habit of writing everything down. With time, I developed a love for writing on any possible thing."

What inspires you to write?

"My heart, the constant state of living makes us go through so much and that so much is what makes us feel, think, act and I just pen that all down."

Which are recurring themes in your writing?

"My writing majorly reflects the depth and dimensions of emotions, feelings and our thoughts which gives it a theme of depth.“

How would you describe your writing style?

"I write what I feel so for me my writing is half my heart being described in the beauty of words, but the style I write in always has a deeper meaning to it, which further resonates with people like me who are lost, healing, trying and living.“

How do you deal with writer's block?

"I write mostly when I feel a lot or just to say when I'm falling apart. I frequently post on my Tumblr blog and whatever I post resonates with some people in the Tumblr community."

Have you already published your writing? Include a link to your published work so we can share it.

“No.” But you can read more of their work by checking out their blog!

Get interviewed by Writeblr Café!

Any writer can participate. Just fill in this form. Maybe we will host interviews in an audio format if you are more interested in listening to an interview than reading it.

[osleyakomwonkru]

Octavia as The 100′s Jesus Figure, Part 4: Bardo, The Crucifixion and Second Coming of Octavia Blake

So we’re back for a fourth part of this series, which I started after season 6, because wouldn’t you know it - there’s more to be said.

In Part 1, Origin Story and the Meeting of Two Saviours, I discussed Octavia’s origin story as the Dark Saviour and her relationship with the show’s other Saviour Lincoln, and how with his death he invested her with the mission to save all of their people.

In Part 2, Saving Humanity and the First Passion of Octavia Blake, I talked about Octavia finally accepting and understanding her mission as the Saviour, redeeming the sins of humanity, and her first Passion narrative, which was left incomplete, and thus she lived.

In Part 3, Planet Alpha and the Second Passion of Octavia Blake, I wrote about Octavia’s second Passion narrative on Planet Alpha, which led to her road to Golgotha at the Anomaly, from which she is resurrected (the Crucifixion narrative still remaining a mystery) and then meets those she knew once again, before her ascension as the Anomaly reclaimed her in the last seconds of the S6 finale.

So now, Part 4 - Here we will get into that missing Crucifixion narrative, as well as the events that come to pass with Octavia’s Second Coming, the Judgment of Humanity, and how things may have played out differently had it been Octavia who walked into the glowy ball of light instead of Cadogan, Clarke and Raven.

From Dark to Light

Before we return to that missing Crucifixion narrative, which takes place on Bardo, Octavia, along with Diyoza and Hope, land on a different planet for ten years. This planet also has its purpose in our Saviour narrative, because while the show starts on dark themes, and thus needed Octavia as a Dark Saviour, in season 7 it began to shift to a theme of light and transcendence.

Enter the appropriately named Penance.

Octavia spends ten years on Skyring/Penance/Planet Beta, healing from her pain and darkness, and thus is no longer the Dark Saviour the narrative needed her to be before to bring salvation to her people, now she can be the Light Saviour who will save all of humanity.

Her new demeanour - though I hesitate to say new because it was born of ten years of peace, plenty, family, and healing, it wasn’t new to her, merely to those who used to know her for whom time had been much shorter - is evidence of her new Light. It confuses many, because they hadn’t had the same time and healing as she had, but it is evident in every move she makes. Rather than the tornado of righteous fury that she used to be, now Octavia is the steady and calm voice of reason - to Echo, to Hope, and especially to Clarke.

But back to that crucifixion narrative.

Every Noble Crown will be a Crown of Thorns

Her peaceful world torn asunder, Octavia is taken to Bardo, and thrown into M-Cap at the first opportunity. Others have mentioned how the M-Cap headcap looks like a crown of thorns, and they’re quite right - this is where Octavia’s Crucifixion narrative comes to fruition. No one spends as much time in that crown of thorns as she does.

She fights it, at first, but when acceptance is what will provide salvation to her people (or person, in this case, being Hope), she accepts her fate and faces her past - brutal days of reliving her history as the Dark Saviour, to firmly close that chapter of her life (a symbolic death rather than just her regular baptism-rebirth cycle).

She’s freed from her crown of thorns when Hope comes. Hope, the symbol of her new Light, and the Light that she will carry with her as she returns to Sanctum to be resurrected among those she once knew, those who had believed her to be lost, but who dearly needed the Light she was to bring them.

Revelation and The Second Coming

There are a lot of different moving pieces involved in the apocalyptic scenarios of Revelation, and how these come to play in season 7 of The 100 isn’t any different. So let’s take a look at some of the other key players and how they connect to Octavia’s story.

The False Prophet, The Dragon and The Beast

Now, in my Part 3 of this series (written after the S6 finale), I predicted that Bellamy would have a large part in the revelation of Octavia’s Saviour narrative. Obviously, that part didn’t come to pass, because of Bob’s absence from the show, but you can still see hints within the narrative that suggest he would have been a part of it before Bob pulled out (most notably, the Hesperides flashback in 7x04 - this flashback is pretty pointless in the context of Hope telling Echo and Gabriel that story, but if you imagine Bellamy being there to hear about how his sister raised Hope in much the same way he raised her - then it becomes way more meaningful).

But the narrative as it played out also presents interesting Biblical allusions, by casting Bellamy in the role of false prophet, fighting on the side of the Beast (Cadogan), instead of on the side of Christ (his sister).

The false prophet is said to be the second beast to rise in Revelation 13, who has “two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon” (Revelation 13:11) who is given the authority to speak on behalf of the first Beast (Cadogan), to deceive the people so that they will worship this Beast. The false prophet having the appearance of a lamb is relevant here, because Jesus is often referred to as the Lamb of God - thus, the false prophet (Bellamy) resembles the true Saviour (Octavia), not coincidental since they are in fact siblings and thus do bear some physical resemblances.

So who is The Dragon - that is, Satan? It is easy to say that the Dragon is Sheidheda, for it is the Dragon who is imprisoned, only to be released to deceive and wage war before being finally defeated. But it goes deeper than that - The Dragon is the dark side of the Flame itself, Sheidheda’s only the last prophet of that darkness. It is the Flame that gives Cadogan, the Beast, the power he needs to rule over his people - the glimpse of the idea of Judgment Day as something for the Disciples to work towards - “The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority” (Revelation 13:2) - even when the good side of the Flame, the Humanity that Becca believed so vital, wanted to keep it from him.

The Children of the Kingdom of Heaven

Jesus says “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Octavia’s always been tied to different children throughout The 100 narrative, first as the child herself, and then others such as Gavriel, Ethan, Madi, Rose and Hope. But the important children for the purpose of this post are the three that are the “next generation” so to speak of the leading trio of the show, and their important roles in the final battle.

There’s Jordan, the Head-centered, who takes over Clarke’s role as John the Baptist, the prophet who bore witness to the Light (Jesus) so that others would believe. His testimony shows that the Final War is instead a Test, and he’s instrumental in making sure that Octavia can stop the war and pass the test to grant humanity eternal life instead.

There’s Hope, the Heart-centered, who takes over Bellamy’s role as Saint Peter, the disciple who becomes the leader of the church after Jesus’ ascension. Hope is Octavia’s grounding force, her new rock, and her love gives her strength to continue her journey.

And then there’s Madi, the Soul-centered, who is Octavia’s next generation counterpart. It’s made clear from the start of Madi’s introduction in season 5 that Octavia is her favourite, that Octavia is the one she looked up to, and even in season 7, these parallels are there, as Madi is ready to sacrifice herself to save the others, and in more peaceful ways too, like when she’s hiding in the reactor with her two new friends, reminiscent of season 1 Octavia and her friendship with Monty and Jasper. Madi, too, meets her Crucifixion in the M-Cap chair, in an even crueler and more vicious manner than Octavia did. But when Octavia saves humanity, this liberates Madi’s soul and grants her eternal life as well.

I am the Way, The Truth and the Life

Wonkru falls apart in Octavia’s absence. There’s no other way to say it. Wonkru crumbling in 7x03 is made even more conspicuous by the fact that they don’t even mention Octavia, because they’re still denying her, despite everything she brought them. They don’t realize that she’s the one to save them all, they don’t realize that, as Jesus says, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 4:16) - something that they will finally come to understand in the climax of the final episode.

But it isn’t time for that story yet. First we must turn to Revelation to see what happens to Wonkru and the others on Sanctum while they’ve chosen to deny her and follow the Dragon and the Beast instead.

Here we see the different plagues that strike the unbelievers - both in Revelation 8-9 and 16.

The first to come are “ugly, festering sores [that] broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast” (Revelation 16:2) - the radiation sickness that is a marker of the broken nuclear reactor in 7x03, which claims as James as one of its first victims. If you don’t remember who he was while watching that episode, look back to 6x02, where he’s one of the people attacking Octavia in the Eligius IV mess hall. He breaks faith with her, and here suffers the consequences of that.

The second and third plagues speak of both the seas and the rivers turning to blood - references to the rivers of blood created by Sheidheda’s massacres, first of the Faithful and then of the Children of Gabriel.

The fourth plague, the sun scorching people with fire, takes us to the eclipse in 7x13, where the sky is red with the eclipse. This leads to the fifth and sixth plagues - the kingdom being plunged into darkness as Emori kills power to the reactor to bring down the shield, which makes it possible for “locusts [to come] down on the earth” (Revelation 9:3) and devour those “who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads” (Revelation 9:5).

It is only the final plague - “rumblings… and a severe earthquake… [where] the great city split into three parts” (Revelation 16:18-19) - that strikes where Octavia is, with “a loud voice from the throne, saying ‘It is done!’” (Revelation 16:17). This line from Revelation calls back to what Octavia says to Hope in 6x13 before her Ascension - “Be brave, tell him it is done” - a sign that Octavia is needed elsewhere again. And soon enough she does depart to Bardo, alongside Clarke. Meanwhile, the survivors remaining on Earth have to reunite the three groups split in the bunker - those in the rotunda (Hope, Jordan, Gaia, Indra, Miller), those in the rec room (Raven, Murphy, Emori, Jackson) and those in the bunkrooms (Echo, Niylah) - to prepare for the final war and judgment.

The Fall of Babylon

Before Octavia can bring light to the world and grant humanity transcendence, there is still one more key part of Revelation that must come to pass, and that is the fall of Babylon: That is, in this ‘verse, Clarke.

Throughout Biblical narrative, Babylon stands in opposition to Jerusalem and its righteousness, just how in The 100 narrative Clarke and Octavia have always been set as foils to each other. Now, Clarke isn’t evil per se, but she’s always been set in her ways and doubles down when questioned about her past deeds - as we see both in how she faces the Primes in 6x03 and the Judge in 7x16. She doesn’t learn, and so she fails. Clarke, like Babylon, is locked out of heaven for not learning the patience and humility that Octavia did: “For her sins are piled up to Heaven, and God has remembered her sins. Give back to her as she has given, pay her back double for what she has done.” (Revelation 18:5-6).

With Clarke fallen, it is now time to begin the Final Judgment.

Final Test and Judgment

After Clarke’s fall, someone must step in to advocate for humanity, to guide the Judge’s gaze to the righteous, to the Saviour - Raven steps through the glowing orb to do so. So which figure in Revelation is most suited here? None other than the writer of Revelation themselves, historically considered to be John of Patmos, who is given these visions by the angels as a warning for humanity.

Raven bore witness to a number of the plagues, and while not always a believer in Octavia - in fact, out of all characters around for all seven seasons, they’ve shared the least screentime with each other - but they’ve still fought on the same side. Also of relevance here is that Raven’s been granted visions in the narrative of the show, like John of Patmos has in Revelation - though hers came as a result of ALIE.

While the Judge takes Raven to the battlefield in Bardo to prove humanity to be unworthy, this battlefield is instead where Octavia proves humanity to be worthy. Indra and Wonkru follow Octavia’s lead, finally recognizing that their only way to salvation was through her (see John 4:16 above), and after the Disciples too laid down their weapons, humanity is deemed worthy and the Judge grants them eternal life in the form of transcendence - rising to the heavens in the manner of the Rapture, “We who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air” (1 Thessalonians 4:17).

Where is the Judgment of the Dead?

Now, one thing missing in season 7 compared to the Book of Revelation and Jesus’ Second Coming is the Judgment of the Dead and welcoming those worthy into the domain of Heaven.

A longstanding phrase in The 100 has been “May We Meet Again”. This is part of the Traveler’s Blessing of Skaikru, and one that they use frequently with one another even in non-death contexts. So with that phrase, a lot of people expected that the dead would also be able to be part of transcendence somehow, and that beloved characters would then also be present on the beach in the final scene as they rejected transcendence to live mortal lives.

I believe, given everything in the past posts about Octavia, that had she been the one to go into the ball of light to face the Judge personally, rather than saving humanity on the battlefield, that this would have happened.

While logically I believe the best form for the Judge to take for Octavia would have been Diyoza, since Diyoza was her greatest teacher, her mind would be more likely to choose her greatest love, Lincoln - who, if we go back to Part 1 of this series, we remember is the other Saviour of this show’s narrative.

That would have been a reunion even more epic than the Clarke and Lexa reunion that the show gave us, for Lincoln and Octavia were far closer and together for far longer. And if the Transcendents possessed the powers that they do - instant genocide by crystallization at the wave of an arm, transcendence through the blink of an eye, restoration of healthy and whole bodies if those souls reject transcendence - then surely raising the dead would’ve been a simple task.

The only reason that couldn’t happen was extratextual - there was no way Ricky would work with JRoth again, and so this extra dimension, this aspect of the narrative that could have made things so much sweeter and less bitter, had to be put aside.

Now, that doesn’t diminish Octavia’s Saviour narrative in the least - she did still save humanity. She did still bear the sins of the human race, she was still mocked, cast out and sent to her crucifixion by those who denied her. She did still return from that symbolic death, resurrected, then ascended. When she faced Wonkru again - remember, that battlefield in 7x16 is the first time the bulk of Wonkru has seen her since 5x13 - it was in her Second Coming to bring the Final Judgment to them. The trials they’d faced in Sanctum in her absence showed them the truth - that they had to believe in her again to achieve their salvation.

She was the Way, the Truth and the Life of The 100 universe, and no one would have reached transcendence except through her.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Prompt: You and Roman have been together for 7 years now,and on the night of your 5th year wedding anniversary,you have a new way to demonstrate your love for him

Word count: Uh girl,grab a snack ‘cuz this one is long!

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut,cursing,slight self-degradation,fluff(at the end),a lot of intimacy and Tantric Massage(yes,you’ve heard it right 😉)

A little disclaimer,before we continue: Tantra is a middle eastern (more precisely Indian) philosophy and spiritual path,the tantric massage itself is a wonderful experience that DOES NOT involves any sort of sexual interaction such as penetration or masturbation!Yes it does involve yoni/lingam massage(vagina/penis massage) but the whole goal of it it’s not orgasm/ejaculation.It can happen of course,’cuz we’re humans but if it can it has to be delayed/controlled since that’s not a goal to be reached,it’s a full body experience and a deeper self connection and healing journey.So if someday you reach out a PROFESSIONAL for this especific massage,keep all this things in mind,please.The only reason I’ve included sex on this it’s because the characters in this story are married and got carried away(also because,it’s Roman I mean,who wouldn’t?). Also they don’t live the Tantra as a philosophy or spiritual path at all! It’s just a new way of working they intimacy together as a couple.It is NOT my intention to degrade ANY form of philosophy/spiritual path from anyone’s beliefs,this is for entertainment purposes only,and also a new way for me to write about new/different themes(or personal study topics of mine) for my stories. I have a deep love for middle eastern cultures and an even deeper love for studying different types of philosophy/spiritual paths.

Tag: My soul sister @ziasaph

Notes: Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.

Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

Today’s my 5th year wedding anniversary with my lovely husband,Roman.We’ve been together for 7 years now.The first time I met him,I gotta say, I hated him! There was something about him that screamed trouble.He was too good to be true,I mean,he was incredibly handsome,polite,thoughtful,kind,loving,funny,intelligent,respectful(a true gentleman really),the best kiss I’ve ever had and don’t even get me started on this man’s bedroom skills...No man ever fucked me like that,no man ever cared much more about my pleasure than with he’s own,no man could make me feel like a goddess the way he could..you see what I mean?He couldn’t be an honest good man right?!And I knew better!Oh I really did..I’ve always had a “rotten finger” when it came to my men choices.If you putted me in a room with two guys,a truly good man and a shitty asshole,I would’ve had 100% chose the latter.Maybe for the “fun” of it or even just to prove my Freudian fate,who knows?

But when I decided to finally give in to the Samoan’s charm and accepted to finally officially date him,I discovered why he smelled like trouble,because as soon as I found out I was in love with him I knew I had lost my whole heart to that man!And if you came from a emocional troubled background,like I did,you know that that’s the worst case scenario one could ever have.But funny enough,despite my deepest fears,he changed my whole world,he dragged me out of the shit pit I’ve always lived in and pushed me into the light beside him,making me forget everything bad that ever happened to me,transforming my reality into the fairytale I could never had imagined.If you told me,7 years ago,that right now I would be here telling you this same story,I would have have bitterly laughed at your face and asked you to give me a hit of whatever it is that you had.

But here I am,finishing to set up one of our guests room for the surprise I had in mind for my husband.I’m sure that this will never repay him for the way he always made me feel,but at least I hope he can have a bit of a glimpse of how much I truly love and care for him.

I was lighting up the last pair of candles when I heard the front door open,his deep sigh and the loud thump of his bags dropping on the living room floor.

“Y/N,baby girl? You home?” That voice alone could bring the biggest,truthful smile upon my lips.I put the lighter on my jacket’s pocket,carefully closing the guest room door and I ran downstairs to meet my redemption in form of a man.

“Roman!” I squealed while I preceded to jump on his arms and wrap my legs around his waist,kissing him like I would never see him again.

“Wow!” He chuckled “I see someone missed me those 3 weeks,huh?!” Still laughing,he wrapped his big arms around my waist and retributed my kiss vigorously.

“Of course I missed you baby!You’re my Samoan Prince Charming,how could I not miss that?!”I laughed.

“Prince Charming,huh?!”He chuckled “You wait ‘til you see what I wanna do to you...I’m pretty sure you’re gonna change your mind from prince charming to tramp real quick!”He smirks and I can already feel my panties getting damp with excitement.

“Oh really,big guy?! Well I’m sorry,but I’m about to piss in your yard and ruin your dreams!’Cuz I already have a surprise for you,and that took a lot of prep time too,so as much as I would love to see what you have in mind that will have to wait,at least ‘til later.”

“Piss in my yard?!Oh baby girl,always so delicate with your words!”He laughed

“What? I’m expressive,you know that!Also if anyone here is the well mannered,polite and posh one that’s you,I’m just you know,rough street trash”.I bitterly said

“Hey!Don’t say that,please.You know that I don’t like when you degradate yourself like that.You’re not trash,you’re my everything!And let’s be honest here baby, I love your rough side..”He squeezed my ass,to prove his point.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna get all worked up,and you’re going to ruin my surprise...” I whispered

“Ok,ok.I stopped!”He chuckled,then gave me a light peck on the lips before lowering me down to the ground.”So what do you have planned?”

“You know it’s called surprise for a reason right?!”I said.

“Oh c’mon Y/N! Not even a little preview baby?” He gave me those beautiful puppy eyes,and the bastard knew that I would give in.

“Argh,you’re the worst!”I faked an annoyed face,but he knew I was pretending so he just smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.”Ok the only,ONLY thing I will tell you is that it involves a large amount of intimacy..I’ve never done that to anyone before..and it’s an incredible experience.That’s all I’m saying!”I proudly huffed.He stared at my face for an eternity before he slowly smirked at me saying “You do realize that you said you were going to tell me just ONE thing about it,but you ended up telling me THREE instead,right?!” He started laughing when I poked his broad chest saying “Shut up! You know,you’re lucky I love you,because otherwise I would just kick your ass right now.”I tried to hold back my laugh,but that soon was forgotten when he kissed my lips so slowly and sweet and said “I don’t have a doubt you could kiss my ass at anytime baby.” He lazily smiled at me,before his expression turned more serious. “I love you Y/N so fucking much!” He caresses my face before continuing “I’m so happy I could take a few days off to be with you,to celebrate the 7 years we’ve been together..and the many more years yet to come” He pecked my lips lightly “I could never have asked for a better woman,wife,best friend,lover,supporter..my own personal safe harbor.” He shyly smiled at me and pressed our foreheads together,and I couldn’t help the tears escaping through my eyes.

“Oh baby girl, I didn’t meant to make you cry!” He said

“Those are happy tears I promise!” I sighed “Besides,I feel bad that I can’t say such beautiful things to you,I’m sorry baby,that you got the product made with a broken mold” I sadly sighed.

“Hey,I already told you to stop saying those bad things about yourself! Also you don’t have to apologize,I know everything you went through and it’s normal for someone in your position to be a little careful when showing your fellings,and trust me babe, I don��t need your words to know that you love me,your actions already do the job!” The smile he gave me was so sincere that reached his eyes.And I really hope that my actions tonight will prove his statement to be right.

“So,when do you plan on giving me my surprise?” He asked with a sparkle in his eyes.And I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well the first thing I need to know is if you’re already fed?”

“Yep! I stopped by a cafe on my way home and ate something light,like you asked me to”. He responded

“Good!Now I’m gonna need you to take a shower so you can wash away the tiredness of your flight,towel yourself dry,but don’t put any clothes on I’m gonna need you naked for this.” He maliciously smirked at me.

“You need me naked,huh?” He licked his lips “Ok,sounds like a great surprise so far..”

“Yes it is! And if I were you, I would hurry up..”

With that he ran off to the bathroom like a little boy,and a few seconds later I could hear the water running.

As soon as I finished stripping the last piece of clothing off my body,I heard the bathroom door open and Roman call for me.

“I’m in the guest room.The one near the stairs.” A few seconds later, I see him entering the room.

“Wow,this looks beautiful!” Since we never used that room as a guest room,it didn’t had a bed(which helped a lot) I just cleaned the hardwood floor,placed a big extra thick(about 40mm) yoga exercise mat in the center of the room,a lot of candles(some were sandalwood scented,but not many,so it doesn’t get too nauseating.Just enough to give that relaxing feeling),some rose petals around the floor, a few cozy cushions around the yoga mat and a little low table with one massage candle and a large thermical water bottle(to keep the water cold and fresh).It wasn’t much but it did look cozy and spa like.

“Did you like it?”

“If I like it?Baby girl it’s perfect!”Then he looked at my naked body and added “Perfect indeed” as he slowly lowered down to catch my lips in the most romantic kiss. When I broke the kiss(‘cuz if it was for him,we would stay there for hours) I begin to explain to him what my surprise was.

“I was thinking what I could give you for our 5th year anniversary that wasn’t bought from a store,but had more of a deep sentimental value” He slowly nodded

“I was talking to Sarah and she told me that Lisa,her new girlfriend is a Tantric massage therapist and had given her a tantric massage one day,she said it was the best experience she’s ever had.So I got curious and decided to make an appointment with her and babe” I sighed “I’ve never had in my life,such an amazing experience! The feeling is...I can’t describe,you have to feel it to understand it. My point is,Lisa told me that tantric massage can be used by couples as a form of bonding,like a deeper connection. It can be used to strengthen they’re intimacy.” When I saw the confused look on his face I said

“What I’m trying to say is that I love you so much” He smiles “I love you too baby girl” I smiled back,continuing my explanation “And I know that you’re the best man I could’ve ever had asked for myself!Even too good for me,but my point is that,it makes me upset that I don’t tell you as often as I would like to how much you mean to me,so I asked Lisa for some advice on how to perform a tantric massage on you and thought that,maybe it would be a nice way to show you how I truly feel,through this” I pointed out to the set up in front of us,smiling shyly.

“I-I..baby girl, I don’t even know what to say...This is all so beautiful, I mean, you didn’t need to make all this to show me that you care or love me babe,I know that regardless” he touched my face softly and quickly added “But that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about your surprise..In fact I’m quite excited to see what this is all about” He has a evil sparkle on his eyes and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok big dog,I gonna need you to lay down on your stomach for me,okay?”

He smiled and did as I asked.

I kneeled down on one of the cushions beside the yoga mat and said

“Alright baby,now,I need you to close your eyes,relax and just focus on my touch upon your skin ok?” When he nodded I grabbed the massage candle and started by dripping some of the wax into his ankles and calves,lightly spreading the melted wax up,until it reaches his back thighs.

I remembered that Lisa told me that this should not be a relaxing massage,in the sense of quizzing in the muscles to bring relief,but it was more focused on the touch it self,so I had to keep a very lightweight touch and make sure that only my finger tips(and occasionally my finger nails if I wanted to) touched his skin lightly.

When I reached his back thighs I notice Roman shifting his weight ever so slightly.

*Oh thank God,I’m doing this right!* I thought to myself relieved.

I dripped more wax,now,onto his perfect round ass and lower back.As I begin working out the wax and spreading it I heard a deep,low,almost inaudible,growl leave his lips and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.I let my finger nails just lightly roam his ass,lower back and side hips.I was so lost in the action that I was caught by surprise when a loud moan left Roman’s lips.

“Y/N..”

I grabbed the candle again and repeated the same process but now on his middle and upper back,shoulders,in the back of his arms and forearms,the palm of his hands,his fingers,neck and ears.

When I reached his head,I lightly dive my finger tips through his hair so I could reach his scalp and begin lightly massaging it,as if I was washing his hair,when I very lightly scratched his scalp I heard a very familiar sound

“Mmmmm fuck,oh shit...Mmmmm”

*Hold on..did he just? Oh I know THAT sound,I think he came!* I thought to myself

I lightly tapped his shoulder twice(a sign for him to turn onto his back) and when he did I could see that I was right,as there were evidences of his cum not only on his stomach but also on the yoga mat,and his deliciously thick erection resting on his belly.

I placed a cushion under his hips and one under the back of his head before I repeated the same previous actions.Starting from the soles of his feet,working my way up his shin,knees,thighs,lower abdomen,hips,abdomen,ribs,chest,nipples,side of the neck,face,front shoulders,biceps,forearm and the front of his hands.

Once I got up and placed myself on the mat,between his legs, I looked at him and I could swear that in 7 years,I’ve never seen that man with such a wild,primal,raw,luscious look on his face.

“Ro?”

“Hm?” I’ve never heard his voice so rough before

“We’re going to the last step now,ok?”

“Mhmm” was all he answered with his gaze glued to my face

I dripped some wax onto my hands and rub them together to spread it.

I took his length into my left hand,lightly squeezed the base of his cock and started to pull my hand up towards the head until my hand slides off,just so I could grabbed it with my right hand and repeat the same steps.

“Oh my fucking God” He rolled his eyes to the back of his head “ Sweet fucking Christ,Oohhh fuuuck” He moaned with a raspy voice.

I took the opportunity to massage the head of his cock in a orange juicer motion.

“Argh” He deeply growled,snapped his eyes open and look at me with a deadly look on his face “Fuck me Y/N! I need you to fuck me right now! Come here and ride me nice and hard baby”

“But Roman,I’m not done ye-“

“I don’t give a fuck!” He gritted “I need you,and I need you right now! Just come here,and put my cock inside that sweet tight pussy baby” He smirked in an almost demonic way and I immediately straddle his hips.

Once I lined his cock to my entrance he quickly thrusted inside of me,making me gasp.

While he gave sometime to adjust he said

“Oh it feels good to be home!” He chuckled

“Baby girl, I don’t know what you did or how,but we’re definitely gonna be doing this more often!” He smiled deviously before he holded my hips in place so he could fuck me like a maniac.

“Oh Ro,fuck”

I’ve never felt him so thick,so deep and so hard inside of me.He was fucking me at a pace so brutal that it was almost deliciously painful.

He grabbed my wrists from his chest and rapidly tugged me down so our chests were glued to each other’s,he took the opportunity to ferociously kiss my lips while he preceded to fuck me brutally.

“Ro,baby,I’m gonna-“

I couldn’t even finish my sentence,because my orgasm hit me so hard that I couldn’t even breathe properly.

“Oh fuck me baby! So fucking tight...so warm...” He gritted “So insanely wet”

With that I could feel his cock throbbing and the hot spurts of his cum inside of me.

When he released his last spurt,we look at each other’s eyes and shared the most passionate loving kiss.When we broke the kiss I said

“I love you Ro,so much”

“With your heart,body and soul?” He lightly smiled,remembering his own words said to me on our wedding vows.

I smiled back before answering without a doubt

“With all of my heart,my whole body and my only soul”

And it was in that moment that I knew I couldn’t have picked a better surprise for the owner and of my heart,body and soul.

[life-rewritten]

Giants of Thai BL AKA The MOST ANTICIPATED  THAI BL SHOWS FOR 2021

It's weird to think that the year 2020 has ended. This has been a journey in the past year, on the surface everywhere you looked it looked like there was no place to be happy and excited because of all the things that happened. It was suffocating at times, tiring at best, and it was just astonishing how many things could go wrong in only one year. That being said, one genre/demographic that grew even stronger this year, took some time to impress and improve on its tropes, its ideas and concepts and that's BL. Which also took some of us by surprise, for the ones who've been watching BL since the first oldies, to the new people who joined and also became in love with the genre and have stayed since then. BL has been an incredible, interesting journey, and I am so happy to say that it looks like 2021 isn't letting go of that energy. So to celebrate entering 2021, a year hopefully for a release from all the worries in 2020, a year to restart, refresh and keep getting better, here are the Giants of Thai Bl making their way in 2021. We have so many insane ones, from more mafia dramas to new unique non-university storylines, to og actors, and new powerful ones, to interesting pairings and new channels producing shows for 2021 to many many more countries joining the fight to be the top of our affections and energy. Thai BL is not going anywhere, and you know what that's perfectly fine with me.

GMMTV

I already did a whole squeal about the shows upcoming from GMMTV here: But after careful consideration here is my top 3 most anticipated: Enchante, Not Me, Bad Buddy. I know Enchante beat out ATOTS, but for me, I'm obsessed with the way the writer plans secrets and meta to unveil, and I keep repeating it's by Theory of Love director and production team. I'm so excited. I just hope they put in the same energy and effort they used in theory of love for this you have so many potential incredible actors that can take over this genre if you give them a good script and hard work. Hopefully, GMMTV intends to do so for not just their royal couple shows but also for rookie actors because Book and Force in this trailer? Looks fantastic.

Studio Wabi-sabi

When I hear about Studio Wabi-Sabi, you see two juxtaposed reactions from me, one you see anticipation and excitement from seeing my most loved actors off-screen; however, you also hear a groan from me. I'm sorry I didn't use to be this way, I used to be so ready to embrace every show directed and created by New Siwaj; in 2020, New was one of the directors I kept having headaches about because of all his shows in 2020? What exactly happened? Why did they flop so hard? Why was he so slow? I'm hoping that it's because he had too many projects to handle at the same time since fair enough LBC was filmed same time as GMMTV My gear and your gown and maybe that was too much to handle? But the reason why I like News choices usually are because they're emotional, impressive with their plot lines and have good character arcs and couples we end up falling in love with. He could be an iconic director because he has so much talent in his company, so I'm hoping he uses his lessons and grows and becomes better in 2021.  But Let's get to the shows announced so far for 2021 because they both have the potential to take over 2021. I said what I said.

Between Us

Genre:  Friends with benefits, Romance, Comedy, PTSD, Angst, 

Ahh, this is incredible. I'm so happy. Win and Team are from a great tv show already with Until We Meet Again and not going to lie, but seeing Buon as Win and Prem as Team? Perfection. Like guys I actually fell so hard for this couple despite their low screen time. Buon stole the scene each time he appeared, with his little smirks, and mischief, with flirty bad-boy energy and their relationship, was precisely what I live for passionate and full of chemistry. They're great, which is why it's so exciting to see that Between Us is getting its own show, the show based on these two love story in a parallel timeline to Until we meet again. I screamed. The book sounds interesting; we're getting some conversations about PTSD, some healing relationships, and angst and more passion.  I'm so excited about this since I first saw BuonPrem. I knew they were going to get known enough to bring their own show. And they deserve it, let's hope we get an interesting script that keeps us invested, enough opportunities for these two to have softer and profound moments whilst still holding on to their passion, and let the drama not be stale but addicting. Please New, don't let this show also be slow-paced, I'll lose it if another show is ruined by directing from you. 

Ratings: 4/5: BuonPrem, they leap off the screen, their chemistry is that great. From hearing about the plot I'm also excited to a more in-depth look into Team's insomnia and his past and psychological scars, and I'm hoping to see a deeper reason for why these two should be together.

Love Mechanics 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends with benefits, Unrequited love, 

That's the thing about Wabi-Sabi; they have amazing actors that steal our hearts away. This shows cast is no different, it's YinWar and it's a collab with Channel 3. Like What? It's everything. YinWar from Love Mechanics trended with millions of people obsessed and wanting the show to be extended and actually appropriately done. In came Channel 3 and we have this gem coming on April. No words. YinWar on screen is thrilling; War is just outstanding as Mark, his nuances, his glares, his looks of pain and longing, man I was absorbed into it. Although LM's writing is toxic and really left me feeling confused and uncomfortable with the details pushed aside, it was hard to ship VeeMark when Yin's character made terrible decisions and was awful even in the book. I'm the queen of analysing damaged flawed characters, and I don't run away from toxicity as long as there is a growth and change later on, as long as there's a good reason we needed to see that. For Vee's character, his actions were unnecessary for us to know about his character; they were just messy and upsetting. That's why I think seeing more depth for his actions and seeing Mark regress and also make mistakes like him will even out their relationship and make me feel more understanding about how these two flawed characters came to be and why they should be together.  Let's hope with funds from Channel 3, more effort and energy put into the show, it'll be great because with actors like War this show can be just as big as it was when it had errors. Maybe even better. 

Ratings 3.5/5 Love mechanics messy storyline makes me worried about this, but I think I might have a great time watching and analysing Mark's revenge after being heartbroken. The angst and drama of it all just sound interesting.

Channel 3

2020 brought a new surprise with Channel 3 deciding to invest in BLS. BLs have always been not on mainstream channels, so seeing Channel 3 in Thailand decide to make their own shows, a collab with other companies, and bring some directors and writers and actors known in the BL world already, shows they are serious. This may be because of the success of 2gether and other breakthroughs in 2019 taking over the scene. But I can see that Channel 3 did not come here to play, they are researching, looking for ways to make a great BL with the information provided on the past BLs and they want to make it big. And you know what with shows like GEN Y showing up last year, I want to believe that Channel 3 is a competition for GMMTV and others. They invest in funds and have longer minutes for their episodes, and they also pay attention to international fans by streaming on new places like Iquiyi and others. It's exciting. Channel 3 has already dipped their toes with Love Mechanics, and in 2021 they have even more shows to give us:

Teddy Bear Miracle

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Fantasy,  Mystery, Lakorn

What a weird title for a show. What an odd premise. What a bizarre book. But you know what I'm so excited about this; this is meant to be a lakorn series that is BL. Like wow, it has a good cast, known faces in the Thai acting scene and a director/screenwriter who has won awards for his own script. That's even more exciting. But the best thing about this is that it's a fantasy and has supernatural themes, yep it's weird we're dealing with a magic system where teddy bears come to life, and other inanimate objects talk? But I'm so excited to see what this brings; we have a man transformed from a teddy bear with amnesia who's searching for his past and how he ended up as one and his owner who's not yet ready to let his comfort go. It's so interesting, with family history and drama and of course, a romance that will probably touch my heart. I'm excited for this zany, wacky and dramatic show. Normally, I shy away from the crazy because I don't like crack humour, and it just means a bunch of many irritating sound effects and editing choices. But I want to trust the whole team from Channel 3, from the behind the scenes the show looks great, the couple has chemistry, and I'm excited to delve into the mystery at play and see what this story is meant to become. So excited honestly.

Ratings: 4.1/5 The wacky magic system scares me not going to lie, but I have faith for some reason in Channel 3, so I think this might shock us all. I think we'll get good acting, and perhaps good directing too. The mystery might also make me want to analyse. We shall see.

Lovely Writer

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Acting/Writing Industry, Haters to Lovers,  

Did you say Kao and Up and P'Tee the director of TharnType the series? Sign me up I'm there; I've been screaming a bit since I heard about this series. From the first time, it was announced that Channel 3 was turning the book into a show, I was like this sounds unique again? And it has an interesting plot, I guess, and it's also going to have drama. I'm hopeful then. When I heard about the whole team and watched the trailer, I got into it even more. Lovely Writer sounds right up my alley, to be honest, we have this introverted writer who is determined to write a masterpiece and stop his company from making him produce BLs for the hype only for his next project to be a BL show which leads him to his new sneaky, sly, wolf in sheep's clothing roommate. Kao played his roommate from Until we meet again who won my heart as Korn and made me cry buckets. So, of course, I'm excited, Nubsib (Kao) may have some tricks up his sleeve to get next to Gene, but I think things will be more complicated than he thought, I'm ready to explore the world of the film industry and dating scandals that Gene and Sib will fall into the more they fall for each other. The angst and drama. Can't wait. Also, TharnType is one of my favourite series, and one of the reasons is because of Tee so... That's even more reason to see Gene and Sip's love story develop. Will it be as angsty, passionate and filled with plot twists? From what I hear maybe. 

Ratings: 4/5 I just think this is an excellent team for a BL backed by Channel 3 and also has an exciting plot filled with ups and downs. I'm excited to see what happens and from the behind the scenes they released in the new year I think it'll be right up my alley.

NADAO

It had to be mentioned that I'm still in shock that Nadao is investing more into BL's. I don't know why, it just feels too good to be true, after giving me show after show that's perfection and quality I'm starting to have high expectations and hope for more, despite my weary heart not wanting to trust that this is real. I'm dramatic, I know. Anyways Nadao has gifted me twice with two shows that have shocked me and made my jaw fall in awe. I'm just like wow, they really did that. Every single piece of work that comes from them is art. Every single script is exceptionally written. Every single show is acted beautifully, and every single director and producer makes me inspired by the way they create. This is when focusing on their BLs because Great Man Academy and I told sunset about you are masterpieces in their own way, they deserve to be praised and never forgotten. It's just incredible that with a company like Nadao, everything falls into place, even when we think it won't because of past experiences. Nadao has shown up and decided to create unique pieces each thoughtful. Deep and breathtaking. Why won't I be over the moon when 2021 announces that we're getting another part from them with I told sunset about you getting a sequel. You bet I haven't stopped screaming and looking at the time to hurry up, so we get to March 11. I'm serious.

ITSAY PART 2

Genre: Romance,  Angst, Drama, University, Coming of age

And that's because of what ITSAY was to us in 2020. It was something that can't be explained concisely. It was everything. To hear that we're getting the second part of the story of Oh and Teh, I feel like I am already preparing my heart and mind for another invasion, last time I was a mess because of this show, I was all over the place because of this show, and I was incredibly happy for a moment because of this show. To relive that again would be everything. It's slightly worrying that Teh and Oh finally getting together and fighting through the odds to stay together will run into more obstacles. Are you kidding me? After all, we went through to see them together?? It makes me worried, I have this real distrust for sequels of BLs, and it hasn't changed despite 2020 producing some okay follow-ups. Sequels never meet the expectation set; sequels are always reduced in quality because the focus is now on popularity and fame, sequels lose their integrity of the characters we've come to know and love and sequels hurt. They make me sometimes give up on a show that is my love, and it hurts. It's a painful realisation that I can't take away or forget the sequel events, so these characters are now ruined infinitely for me—looking at Together with me next chapter. It's scary. But Nadao hasn't failed yet, I mean it when I say their scripts are like works of art, I mean it when I say you can tell they put blood, sweat and tears to create their shows, why would ITSAY part 2 be any different? These two shows I mentioned before are coming together because the director of GMA is joining the team of ITSAY to produce whilst Boss becomes the producer. As long as he's there, I'm fine, as long as we still get hard work, energy, effort and thought put into it. I'm fine. Because it translates on screen, I'll try to lower my expectations, but I can't wait to see BilkinPP as TehOh again. I can't wait to fall in love with the show all over again. Let's hope we all end up satisfied. 

Ratings: 4.5/5 The being a sequel is what's deducting the 0.5. I can't come here and be a fool; I must guard my heart against disappointment somewhat, despite failing already to do so.

Other Affiliates

We have our other shows. These were a pleasant surprise. With all the growth of new BLs, it's starting to get crowded and saturated, but as much as it's hard to see which shows stand out above all the noise,  some make you see it. These shows are the ones that stand out for me out of the rest in 2021. I don't know what companies they're from, all I know is the information given to me and past experiences.

KinnPorsche

Genre: Romance, Mafia, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Bodyguard trope

AHHH. Can you hear me AHH. Okay, I'll calm down. But no really, KinnPorsche is finally preparing for filming and the cast has been set and I'm screaming. KinnPorsche was the book in 2020 that was announced as the most coveted; I remember so many fandoms wanted their actors to be chosen as the main cast. The reason? Because this is meant to be the first Mafia/Crime BL. Yes, you heard us, no more universities and engineers we're doing bodyguards and spoilt gangsters. I'm... But just knowing this, you just know that the show will also have angst, angst angstttt for days, drama, and a romance that probably involves haters to lovers, passion, and character development. We're coming in with guns blazing, with many side couples that look just as good and interesting, and many actors that look perfect for their roles. I cannot wait for KinnPorsche, especially when one of my favourite actors is going to be in it as a second lead Jeff Satur! Have you seen the posters, the character introduction, who they're casting for the rest of the show? This looks amazing, it seems well put together, and the whole team looks determined and ready to give us a great show. I'm honestly so excited, but I've also heard things about the book that I will have to wait for the show to be a judge of before saying. All I can say is quality of a show also includes the themes in the script, we're trying to evolve past the toxic plots and ideas in BL, so I'm hoping if there is any we cut it real quick and change that part. It's the producers and directors' choice to keep parts in that could be edited or removed. I haven't read the book, so I'm going to be wary about it for now, but from the whole cast, teasers, and posters I really think this show could be a favourite if appropriately handled. 

Ratings: 4?/5 The question mark is for the rumours I've heard about the book. I can't lie that I want this show to be great and become one of my all-time favourites but with angst and violent personalities and passion comes leeways to toxicity and more and that's just not cute or needed.

My Engineer Season 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Unrequited love,  University,

Okay, this is it, folks. My Engineer came in 2020 and knocked our socks off; it's the most underrated great show in 2020 (apart from why r u) in my opinion. It was brilliantly constructed with enough screen time and plot for every couple of the show. My Engineer is a great show; it didn't make it to my favourites because I had issues with the main couple, but it was my most enjoyed when it came to the side couples. Because we had KingRam, TharaFong, and MekBoss. (Sorry to BohnDuen Fans). These were some of the most exciting, heartfelt, loving couples in 2020, KingRam was just chef kiss. And to hear that we're getting a sequel based on them? Well you know what I did, I screamed. I loved both KingRam and TharaFrong they were done so well, acted so well, and they made me laugh and laugh and then squeal and blush. They were too cute. The ending of my engineer left both these couples on a cliff hanger; we had a depressing bro zone with TharaFong as Fong came to realise his feelings, we had a wait what moment with Ram telling King he wasn't drunk when the kiss happened which is essentially a 'we need to deal with this new situation' text. And it's got me so excited to see what happens next. The first part of this was excitement. The second part is sigh, sequels. I told you didn't sequels are just urgh. I couldn't stop my excitement about KingRam, and I went to read the novel, and I usually don't mind it, but I don't think if the sequel is based on their story that I'd like them in season 2. And that's ridiculous because they're finally the main couple of season 2, and TalayPerth is impressive to see on screen. Sigh. I wasn't happy when reading the book; there are specific actions and choices made that just shifts the dynamic of the first season into the opposite. And I'm not particularly excited to relive those moments. Let's just say I still have high hopes for My engineer mostly cause I don't know what's happening to the other couples; I really hope there's a change in the script, maybe more information, more reasons for the characters to act the way they do, more depth? Because I want to like this show, I want it successful, but I'm not a clown I can't pretend it will be if it's based on the books. We'll see if I'm proved wrong. I hope I am.

Ratings: 3.5- Why did I read the book why?? I should have come into it blind I would have given it a 5/5 just for KingRam. Sigh

Love Stage 

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Gender Bender, Friends to Lovers, Childhood friends,  

This was a shock. Thailand has started to remake mangas from Japan, and it's all the most loved ones. In 2021 we already have Antique Bakery being remade by GMMTV (Read my GMMTV Giants of 2021) and now we have Love Stage which is also getting a Japanese Movie remake out in 2021. It's a great manga, anime and it's going to be a fun show. I enjoyed the characters, and I liked the storyline. But what I'm the most excited about when it comes to this is Kaownah and Turbo finally, after years of waiting have a new series. YES. Kaownah plays Long in TharnType our villain, and he was incredible in that. I heard he and Turbo were meant to be in the show My Umbrella, but it was cancelled and forgotten which was disappointing. These two are so cute, they're known for their fanservice and their chemistry and friendship. And I like them a lot. I can't wait to see Love Stage. I think they'll kill it. Can't wait to hear more about it let's hope this time it sticks and comes through on our screens. 

Ratings: 4/5 It's a fun storyline, and it has an excellent acting couple. I'm excited.

If 2021 already sounded brilliant because of GMMTV 2021, 2021 sounds even more exciting with these new shows; there's so many coming out, so many breaking stereotypes, so many unique plotlines, and so many great actors showing up. It's going to be a great year. I'm just glad BLs are growing, things are changing slowly, things are starting to have meaning and improve, international fans are being listened to, LGBT voices is also being listened to, we are getting there, not yet there but closer, every single time someone makes a choice to create a great plot and story that is more than just two guys making out, a show filled with heart, messages and essential representation with the good actors that also want the shows to mean something or are willing to put their all in it, every time someone chooses to make a good BL, you're paving the way for change and for the meaning of BL to change as well, for it just to be seen as something more in media. And that's needed for so many people who want shows like this to be respected and created for voices that need to be heard and displayed. Let’s see more with excellent quality in 2021.