#whether it be for sticking together and keeping track of the other or just. getting to feel that they’re there

[merakiui]

How do you think Riddle would get into a friends with benefits relationship? Also, how would a relationship with him like that work anyway? Would it be something everyone’s aware of yet refuses to acknowledge? Would his dorm have more respect for you for calming the his tiny tyrant? I feel like ironically he would be a lot calmer around you and it would be a healthy start of a relationship for you two. But I’d like to hear your thoughts please.

I like to imagine Riddle was raised with the idea that you should only date for marriage and that marriage must always be the end goal in a relationship. No such thing as loveless "friends with benefits" or flimsy "situationships." Very traditional ideals ingrained in his head, courtesy of Mama Rosehearts. >_< so it's baffling to him when he's at NRC and learns about all kinds of different relationships. Hook-ups, fwb, complicated situationships, rebounds... there's just so much to keep track of and it's all so new.

Maybe it starts from a drunken mishap. Of course there's going to be alcohol at college parties, whether on campus or off campus. Maybe it's Deuce who mixes up the drinks and hands Riddle something alcoholic, or maybe Riddle himself decides he'll have alcohol that night. Maybe the two of you share a few kisses and some wandering hands in the corridor. Or maybe the two of you regularly spent time together and one thing led to another and... :) either way, there's a physical shift in your relationship together and Riddle isn't the type to let things hang up in the air.

Perhaps it's just for stress relief and pleasure. Nothing more. And perhaps it's curiosity or chemistry or something, but it doesn't sound terrible. It's Riddle's first time in this sort of relationship, but he won't deny that what the two of you did was enjoyable, even if you were both mutually intoxicated to remember most of it. ^^;;; regardless, so long as you're comfortable and okay with this, he wouldn't mind turning this into something. He's not sure how he's meant to feel when you say everything is no commitment and that you're just friends and that all of this is just casual. Riddle is a very committed guy who is so far from casual even though he's trying his best to be more lenient with himself and everything in his life. But those words are the best ways to describe all of this. Perhaps it's why he adds "no kissing" to the list of rules because kissing is a very romantic thing to him.

He's very meticulous, so naturally he makes sure to establish clear boundaries and rules. You go over what's on the table and what's a no-go. What the expectations (or lack thereof) should be. And for the first time in his life he's echoing the complete opposite of what his mother would lecture him about. No marriage. No dating. No romance. Just sex. It's friendship, but with benefits (as the name implies).

Funnily enough, I feel like he tries to set aside time for these things, but then who pencils into their schedule when they're going to have sex??? T_T maybe it's all spontaneous and impulsive, and at first it's a huge shift from what he's used to. But it's fun. He's never experienced anything like this before and you're just so...perfect. You're everything.

You'll witness new sides to Riddle the longer you spend with him, getting to know the guy beneath all of the stringent rules. Your friendship definitely strengthens during the times you spend with him, and Riddle is trying not to expect anything. Why would you or he stick around after sex? And why should he fret over his appearance and what he wears when you decide to go into town together? It's not a date. It's not romance. It's just sex. He has to remind himself of this when the two of you wake up curled into each other. That's just...biology. The human body needs warmth when it's cold. That's just normal. Aaaaa he's falling and he's not sure he can stay strictly casual and no commitment anymore.

As for who knows,,,, definitely Trey and Cater. Riddle goes to Trey about all kinds of stuff because they're friends and Trey is a good voice of reason, and it doesn't take a genius to understand what's happening. Trey won't say it outright, but he does try to poke at the issue to gauge where Riddle stands: "Well, if you like (Name) so much, what do you have to lose?" And poor Riddle is so frazzled because everything, Trey, he could lose everything if you don't feel the same way!!!! And Cater's been knowing LOL. He probably knew the day of the party that there was a vibe. >:)

There are so many hurdles and bumps to your relationship, but I do think it's very sweet if and when you and Riddle officially become a couple. And if not,,, perhaps Heartslabyul can push the two of you together because you're just the cutest, most cammable pair on campus right now (Cater's words). <3

[ectoplasmer]

MOST NORMAL THING EVER but like… holding your f/o’s hand… running your thumb over their knuckles and feeling the dips and rises of their bones… resting your fingertips in the spaces between their knuckles and feeling like you’re completing them, filling in the empty spots… pressing your palm together with theirs and feeling the way they slide into place perfectly and the warmth that radiates from their hand over time… aaaaaa

[hitoshiyoshi]

~ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐑 / 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇

synopsis ↬ the mha boys reactions when learning you have a secret admirer

pairing ↬ gender neutral!reader x mha

characters ↬ izuku, bakugou, shouto, kirishima, shinsou, sero

+ MIDORIYA IZUKU will become a nervous little broccoli. He'll probably realize that you have a secret admirer way before you even notice; his detective skills are strong. He's not afraid to confront this person if they're making you uncomfortable because if it is a problem for you, it is also a problem for him as well. Terrified that you would actually leave him for this person and can't help but feel insecure. He'll compare all of his attributes with them and will probably easily feel inferior. Of course, you reassure him that you would never leave him and give him a huge confidence boost please reassure him. If you don't, imagine him being extremely anxious and shaky every time he sees that person around. Will politely tell that person to leave you alone if they are bothering you too much since he doesn't want to be rude.

+ TODOROKI SHOUTO pretends to be unbothered but is actually really bothered and insecure as well. He won't tell you too much about how he feels about it, he's mostly concerned whether you are uncomfortable with it. Like Izuku, he would find the identity of this person pretty quickly. Neglects his own personal thoughts on this person which probably causes him to spiral into a battle with his self-image and confidence. Although he's very pissed off about this, he silently tells this person that you're taken by being close to you all the time. Does a few death glares in their direction if he notices that person staring at you. He probably isn't too big on PDA and you quickly take notice of his changes. Unhappy and very sulky every time he sees this person around you. He'll eventually spill his feelings to you and apologize like he always does for keeping his emotions inside.

+ BAKUGOU KATSUKI would be the most bothered out of all of them. He probably isn't too obvious that you two are dating, people naturally put two and two together. When he finds out that you have a secret admirer, he's highkey offended. Wasn't it obvious that you two were dating? Well, no... Now, he goes out of his way to make sure everyone knows that you're in a relationship. Sticking to your hip, his arm around your shoulder, holding hands, eyeing up anyone that steps too close, and other things until people know. It would get annoying to others after some time, but he doesn't care. Somehow manages to track down your admirer and curses them out until they leave you alone. Destroys all the gifts and useless stuff that they've given you.

+ KIRISHIMA EIJIROU also acts unbothered but seriously hates it deep down. Instead of acting nonchalant, he would convince himself that it isn't a big deal and you won't leave him. Unfortunately, doing this is harder than he imagined. He also has an unwavering feeling that you would leave him for this person because he wasn't good enough or couldn't take care of you. Competes with this person for your affection and will do the most chivalrous manly acts to prove his love for you. Gets so uncomfortable when he sees the gifts or other presents this person gives. He probably won't go out of his way to confront them, but if he catches them leaving notes or gifts for you he'll just announce himself as your boyfriend and proceed to ask them to leave you alone.

+ SHINSOU HITOSHI observes and watches your interactions with this person very carefully. He's so wary that this person has other motives with you, more concerned about your wellbeing than anything else. He doesn't seem like the type that would be jealous but rather looks at things rationally. Randomly stumbles across them leaving love notes and gifts for you and gets so uncomfortable just from watching. He is not afraid to brainwash this person if they bother you too much; doesn't care if that sounds bad. If brainwashing doesn't work, he would just intimidate them into stopping. And if that doesn't work, he would bluntly tell them to leave you alone in the harshest way possible.

+ HANTA SERO is the king of being unbothered and actually IS unbothered. It's not that he doesn't care, but he trusts you enough to know that you won't leave him for someone else. He has no reason to be worried about this person unless he's given one. Communicates his feelings very well, doesn't hide anything. In fact, he's pretty blunt about how he feels about it even if it sounds harsh. He also doesn't actively try and figure out who you're admirer is because he could care less about that person. Only values your opinion and offers to help once he realizes it's going too far. Proudly displays himself as your partner until this person finally understands that you're taken and stops.

[catboyieejeno]

.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・゜゜・★

cw: mark x reader x hyuck, threesome, very little plot, unprotected sex, a lot of mentions of cum, so much cum... this shit is filthy... npr

18+ minors do not interact !

[ 11:44pm ]

it's unclear whether the heat that radiates off of you is due to the alcohol that swims in your system or the pair of mouths that kiss and lick across your body fervently. you can't keep track of all the sensations you feel, mind blurry as you moan and pant, writhing restlessly between your two best friends. kneeling on the mattress in front of you is mark with one hand pumping his flushed pink cock, the other squeezing your boob—the one that isn't in his mouth. his eyes are half-lidded and staring into yours, watching the way your face contorts each and every time hyuck slips a finger into your impossibly tight cunt.

the younger of the two boys who sits behind you, presses his swollen erection to your ass. meanwhile, his fingers are lost in your panties, thick digits alternating between pumping into you and rubbing your pulsing clit. your grip on his wrist tethers you, nails digging into his arm whenever something feels a little too good.

the night had started much differently: a movie night had dwindled into banter after hyuck's complaints that the movie mark picked out was awful. defeated, and knowing it was practically impossible to argue with hyuck, mark proposed that you guys get some wine and just talk instead, which was fine... until each of you were about three glasses in.

mark's fingertips began brushing your thighs, higher and higher, following the hem of your skirt that at some point, you stopped pulling down. hyuck's lips were whispering teasing comments in your ear, his arms snaking around your waist—something he usually did sober, except this time, with much less restraint.

you weren't oblivious; slightly past the point of tipsy? yes, but never oblivious. you leaned into their touches, giggled and blushed at their flirty passes, batted your eyes as your thighs pressed together...

just as you noticed the bulge in mark's pants, hyuck's wine-stained lips were on yours.

"d'you like that, baby?"

"yes," you reply so quickly that it's almost pathetic, letting your head fall forward and onto mark's shoulder. your eyelids are squeezed shut as your hips roll, grinding down into hyuck's hand and back against his dick.

he lets out a grunt, sliding his free hand all the way up your spine until it wraps around the base of your neck. he pulls you back up to him then moves to hold your throat, pressing his chest against you and attaching his mouth to your shoulder.

you whine out when he withdraws his fingers from between your legs, using your slick to rub his tip in circles. as he teases himself, he breathes hot air onto your skin where his tongue swirled just seconds before.

thankfully, you don't feel empty for long because mark scoots closer, looping his index finger on the strip of your cotton panties that covers your pussy. he moves it aside and guides himself towards you, sliding his length between your lips and coating it with your arousal.

"so wet," he mutters to himself, rubbing into you a few times.

"mark.."

he doesn't reply; instead, he guides himself side to side between your folds in order to stimulate your clit. your jaw slightly drops as you relish in the feeling.

"i need you," you whine.

"i know, i know," his reply doesn't sound convincing in the slightest. you can tell he's distracted watching the way his cock glistens from your juices, and your cheeks flush red in embarrassment as you open your mouth to protest once more.

"'need you to fill me up, baby, please," you plead in a small voice, but he only smirks and raises a brow at you.

"yeah?" he asks, "want me to stretch you out, sweet girl?"

from behind you, hyuck growls, "if you don't stick your dick in her right now, i'm going to."

unwilling to push hyuck's withering patience, mark scoffs and disappears between your folds in one smooth motion, pushing the head of his dick into your walls with almost no resistance. both of you sigh out in relief. your hands claw at his shoulders, grip tightening when he bottoms out inside of you. a moan rumbles in mark's chest and he leans down to capture your lips in a kiss.

he's so close that he's pressing his hips completely to yours, pelvis flush against your clit, the pressure so delicious on the needy bud. he swallows every last moan you feed him, only pulling back from your kiss for air.

mark takes his time finding a pace, observing how you react to each thrust. he takes note of both your expression and your clenching cunt that flutters around him when he slows down or picks up speed.

every time he pulls out, his eyes look down to where your bodies meet, obsessed with the way you suck him back in.

"fuck," he breathes, "this pussy's so good. s'tight, so warm,” he’s babbling incoherently, unable to suppress his moans when you swivel your hips. he stills for a moment, letting you pleasure yourself on his cock. you feel unreal, better than he could’ve ever imagined (and boy, did he imagine this quite a few times in the years he’s known you).

"move, please,"

"always so polite," mark teases and snaps forward. you cry out, and he does it again, quickly finding a rhythm that has your head spinning. he’s long and you’re so wet that if it wasn’t for how tight you are, there would be no push back at all. the stretch is delectable, like nothing you’ve felt before.

"you're such a good girl, taking mark so well,” hyuck sticks his thumb between your parted lips and rests it on your tongue, “i bet you love being used like this. you do, don’t you, baby?”

mark sucks in a breath when you bring your hand down, spreading your folds with your fingers, “you’re doing so good for me,” he says, eyes locked on the sight.

their praises go straight to the bundle of nerves between your legs, your orgasm building in the pit of your tummy. you can only hum around your best friends finger, head bobbing up and down in agreement with his filthy, yet nonetheless true, accusation.

the tip of mark’s dick kisses your cervix repeatedly, slipping through your sopping folds at a pace so eager that you’ve started to melt. if it wasn’t for both boys holding you up, you’d have become putty in their arms.

all of your senses have started to blend together, starting with the salty taste of hyuck’s thumb that he finally withdraws and drags down your front, rubbing your saliva around your perked up nipples until they’re coated and gleaming. his dick couldn’t possibly be any harder, standing prominently up and constantly poking at your backside. you’re pretty sure he’s been leaking pre-cum, too, because there’s a wet spot on your lower back where the draft hits slightly different.

mark’s hands that grip and squeeze the flesh of your ass to pull you to meet his thrusts, suddenly lift up to land a slap on each cheek. your eyes are locked on his glossy ones, though you can’t see very clearly through the pooling tears that gather and blur your vision.

you’re close, so fucking close that you’ve started moaning out shamelessly, rambling nonsense, “i’m gonna—it feels so—ng, fuck! mark, please don’t stop, please, please–“

mark’s head falls into the crook of your neck, lips right by your ear as he chants encouragements in low whispers, just for you.

“come for me, baby. yes, just like that." his voice strains as your pussy squeezes him, "take my dick, take it.”

you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers tangling and tugging at his dark strands. your orgasm hurdles towards you, and it only takes a particularly deep thrust for your breath to hitch in your throat, the coil snapping in your tummy.

mark’s coming too, before he even realizes it. his lip is clamped between his teeth as he tries his absolute best to keep a steady pace, so desperately wanting to make you feel as good as he does.

he empties himself inside your walls with a raspy, dragged out groan, chest heaving in pleasure. his toes are digging into the bed, abdomen flexed and dick twitching. there are beads of sweat trickling down his chest and he swipes away at them, leaning back to watch your fucked out face as he finishes. this is one of the best orgasms he's ever had, he decides; still, his high ends before yours.

in fact, his tip is screaming with sensitivity by the time he peeks his eyes open and realizes, you’re still coming. god, it’s fucking hard to keep up, regardless of how bad he wants you help you ride it out. it's nearly impossible when your gummy walls are so warm around him and your release is gushing out, dripping down your thighs.

“shit, y/n,” hyuck moans your name out loud, fucking his fist shamelessly.

he watches as mark scrunches all his features and picks up his pace just enough to amplify the end of your climax, the sound of his skin slapping against yours a little louder. your cries are louder, too.

he finally slows down once your thighs start trying to clamp shut, and you've started shaking from overstimulation.

"holy shit, mark. i've never come like that before," you whimper, reaching between your legs as he pulls out to feel just how wet you are. mark leans back on one arm, cupping his balls in his palm.

he looks over at you and laughs softly at the way your pupils are blown wide, "me either," he agrees, cheeks and chest flushed red from effort.

"let me see," hyuck insists, huffing, "lay back,"

the moment your back hits the mattress you wince, the burning in your thighs suddenly very evident. hyuck hushes you sweetly, gently parting your legs and leaving a few open mouthed kisses on your stomach. when he pulls away, it’s to gawk at the silky white mess of cum between your legs.

“we should’ve done this long ago,” mark jokes, but there’s a glimmer of sincerity in his eyes.

you nod, propping up on your elbows to meet him halfway where he leans in giving you a slow, wet kiss. his tongue swipes at yours, the shared air growing warmer between you. there’s a few hushed noises coming from both of you, and the kiss lasts until you feel something fill you up again.

you pull away to find donghyuck, two fingers shoved into your hole, tucking away any of mark’s cum that tried to seep out.

when your eyes meet, there's a pout resting on his lips as he whines, "pay attention to me, baby… he had his turn,”

you laugh and nod, “you’re right, hyuckie. i’m sorry,”

situating himself between your thighs that rest on his own, hyuck takes a moment to steal a kiss for himself. it’s paced and sensual, and the pretty noises he makes when your fingers disappear into his hairline leave you winded.

“wanna make you feel really good,” he mumbles against your lips. there’s a warm weight that rests on your stomach as he says this, and it takes a moment for you to put two and two together.

when you look away from his soft, brown eyes, you realize his cock, thick and swollen, is resting on your tummy, sizing up how far it would be inside you.

he’s less lengthy than mark, but undoubtedly thicker, his prominent head staring back at you, dribbling pre-release on your skin. just when you didn’t think you could get any needier, he presses against you more, and his heavy balls brush right up against your clit.

“hyuck, baby,”

“tell me,” he whispers into your chest, “i’ll do anything you want, just say the word,”

you squirm against him, “wan' you to fuck me,”

swinging one of your legs up, hyuck picks up his cock from your tummy and directs it toward your entrance.

“m’gonna fuck mark’s cum deep into you, okay? then i’m gonna fill you up with mine,” then, he presses in, brow furrowing at the feeling of you enveloping him.

mark’s cum is practically serving as lube, but even then, you can fucking feel the difference in girth. he hisses, letting his head fall to the side to rest on your calf that sits on his shoulder. instinctively, your hands paw at his chest. he isn't even all the way in yet, and the stretch is already surreal. you take your lip between your teeth and hyuck cups your face, letting his thumb graze your cheek.

“i’ve got you, princess,” he soothes, flicking your clit with his other thumb, rubbing slow circles on it.

"keep doing that, please," he nods at your instruction, gazing at you through his eyebrows in search of your approval. your face says it all, eyes rolling back and puffy lips shaped into an 'o'. the back of your head digs into the pillow as he enters you fully, then he drags his dick all the way back out until only his tip is sheathed, before doing it all again.

beside him, mark's eyes are glued to your core, specifically to the white ring at the base of hyuck's cock. he identifies it as his own cum, and his balls tighten. it's a mess, but the lewdness is enough for him to get hard all over again.

hyuck maintains his slow pace, making you shudder impatiently. "hyuck," you start. he hums attentively, "faster.."

"you want me to go faster, baby? already?"

you nod yes quickly, "i want you to fuck me stupid."

in less than a second, his fingers are digging into your waist and he's rocking you up and down, drilling his cock into you just as you had asked.

you moan out and he slaps your thigh, swiping his tongue at the bit of drool that threatens to slip from his bottom lip. between his brutal pace and the attention he's paying to your bud (and how sensitive you were from having come once already), your climax starts approaching rather quickly.

hyuck can tell, too, because you've started to squirm and shake under him. your back is arching off the mattress, and the sheets are clenched between your fingers as if you'd float away by letting go.

"am i doing good? does that feel good, baby?"

"yes!" you all but sob, clasping a hand over your mouth.

you're still slightly dizzy from the wine, so when you come hard for the second time tonight, you become so light headed that dark spots burst all over your vision like some visual effect. you gasp and cry out when hyuck slaps your clit before continuing to rub it mercilessly, his fingers soaked through with juices that spill with every thrust.

the bed creaks beneath you as he refuses to let up, even when your moans have gone up in pitch to become broken whimpers.

he'd give you anything you ask for, he told you so.

as you come down, you open your eyes just in time to watch hyuck's face shift, hips bucking wildly after his own finish. it doesn't take much longer, and in seconds, he stills, burying himself deep inside of you as he pumps you full of his load.

at some point while bystanding, mark had started touching himself again, letting out a long sigh as he grips his head tight and paints your folds with his second round of seed. some of it slips onto hyuck's base, and some of it mixes with the bit hyuck's cum that had poured out the sides of you, even despite his thickness.

"what a fucking mess," mark laughs as he catches his breath, "sorry about your sheets-"

"s'fine," you grab his hand, grinning, "it was worth it,"

"remind me to buy us that bottle of wine again," hyuck mutters tiredly, making sure he brings your leg down gently as to not hurt you. he still hasn't pulled out of you, though, allowing himself to grow soft within the warmth of your pussy.

the two boys watch wide-eyed as you reach down, using your index finger dip into both of their releases (surely, yours too), and bring it up to your mouth for a taste.

"i don't think we'll need the wine next time."

⋆ ★

sidenote: this is the nastiest shit i have ever written … thank u to my babies @mingyuonthemoon and @m-arkmywords for giving me some inspo to write this

also ... hi... i am glad 2 be back

[slightlypossessed]

Synopsis – Steve let's someone take care of him, for once in his fucking life

Who? – Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

18+ content – MDNI // handjob, thigh riding, marking and kissing.

4.05k – 17 mins

words are lost on him

it's not that there are none coming to mind — they are, they're just not sticking: light flash-bangs that don't last enough to know if he's really seen or imagined them.

the words are too quick for him to grasp onto, nerve endings fried as they spark alight with every stroke of your hand.

The movements you so torturously inflict on him are gentle, yet cruel. ministrations calculated and precise to ensure the most damage to his mind and fragile, vulnerable, state as he lies bare beneath you.

Body bare and soul rested on a silver platter for you, laid prettily at your feat for you to take as much as your heart, and lust, desire.

"Baby..." his whisper is husky, voice wrecked and all scratching-on-metal as he tries not, but fails, to beg.

Cognitive dissonance is a killer thing, Steve decides as you give a particular rough tug to his straining cock, more so than he's realised now that he's in the deep cusps of it. On one hand he's trying to hold himself together, trying to be man — in his mind, he's made to please, to be a caretaker — it's why he puts up with the bloody kids that he knows will make his hair go gret by the time he's 32, it's why he's there after every argument max has with her father, every time dustin feels lonely, every time Lucas has a falling out with the rest of the boys — always there, an invisible hand on the back, guiding, cautious, caring.

And it's why it's typically the other way around with you two than it is now. Steve's gotten comfortable with the unintentional routine: you beneath him, mouth and sex hot as you beg and scratch while he wrecks you piece by piece. He's your boyfriend, he's yours, and it's his job to please you. He's gotta care for you, for your pleasure — because he's your man, and because he goddamn wants to.

But as his darned luck would have it, your hands feel too good on his cock for him to push you away: far too gentle to push him over, but determined to press all the delicate parts of him, your fingers deft and rubbing down the areas you know to be sensitive — just enough times with every stroke to keep him constantly on edge.

He's lost time, how long it's been: maybe five minutes? ten? fifteen? maybe just the one? a torturously slow minute of pure ecstatic and exhilirating agony? He's doesn't know, all he knows is that he's at your mercy to grant him what he most needs.

And right now he needs more of what you're giving, just – god, please, more – enough to quiet the voice in his head telling him he's failing... something. Your pleasure? His supposed boyfriend duty? he doesn't know, but he wants it quiet — you've already told him you want to take care of him.

However long it was ago, his brain is half-mush and he can't quite remember, you took in your arms mid make out session and told him you wanted him, your tone different than every other time you've said those words, your hold on him more tender and enveloping.

"let me take care of you," you'd whispered against his lips, your hands on his chest and steadily caressing lower, "please."

He couldn't say no to you then, can't say no to you ever — his sweet girl, whatever you want, you'd get — and he's decided then that he'll be most compliant for you, he'll relent underneath you as you take care of him, in whatever way you'd wished to do that.

and fuck, he wasn't prepared – doesn't think his brain has relaxed ever since you pushed him against the headboard and straddled his legs and fucking told him to just relax.

How can he? when the prettiest girl he's ever seen is on top of him looking so pretty with earnest eyes tracking every emotion and expression that passes over his face. You're so keen, attention completely tuned in on him.

Nerves firing blast rapidly, blinding white light behind his eyes, whether his eyes are closed or not.

He's not even sure anymore if they're open or closed, there's just glimpses of you, and he's not even sure if his short-circuiting brain is catching up a moment late, doesn't know if by the time he's caught to the beautiful sight of you as you stoke more heat in his belly, he might've already drifted in another mini ecstasy and closed his eyes again.

Fuck, he needs more — he's not sure he can handle it — so much going on in his brain, so much pleasure emitting from your soft hands on his hard cock, but he needs more. Maybe it'll quiet his mind, maybe it'll ramp up the frequency to a million, maybe he'll completely lose it and go insane by your hands — but he craves what you give.

"Please," his voice is foreign to his own ears, broken and pleading. If he were to really think about it, you haven't even done that much to warrant his half-wrecked state. But he's there, and he seems relenting to the idea of you completely breaking him.

Maybe the idea of you taking care of him has done more to him than he thought it would.

A low moan escapes his throat as his hand previously gripping the sheet moves to anchor itself to your hips.

"Fuck," another broken sound, "please, honey, more." He isn't sure more what, faster? harder? both? he just needs your hands on him and to forget all his thoughts before he even has them.

"shh," you soothe as your hand tightens around the tip of him– and by god, you're evil, a wicked little thing— you know he's most sensitive there, and if you'd had any doubts about that, they were now for sure quelled by the debauched moan that escapes his throat. "I've got you, sweetheart, just relax for me."

But he can't relax, oh god, what are you doing to him?

Evil, he's decided.

Heavenly, his heart argues, as you lean down to give him a saccharine kiss on his parted lips, your tongue swirling with his.

Deep down, you're aware that your torturous and slow pace over the last few minutes has built him yet kept him consistently at bay, kept him all achy and squirmy underneath you – all because of you, for you.

He whimpers quietly, the sound low and vulnerable against your lips, and you pull back to hear his sweet sounds better – and immediately he gifts you another desperate sound as he chases your lips.

Usually, hand jobs are quick business in your relationship. Quick things done in foreplay before Steve's putting his tongue on you and making you cum a few times as he gets hard again to fuck you – sometimes he's even pushing your hand off him before he cums, choosing to sink himself deep inside you instead.

But it's been on your mind for a while now, this urge to just take care of him. You're brain constantly wandering to how he'd look like, sound like, if lets himself loose and handed over the reigns of his pleasure to you. He's stretching himself too thin everyday — acting as a brother, a father and a friend to a group of 15-year-old kids united by other-worldly trauma. He's the perfect boyfriend 24/7, small gifts every now and then, dates every week, fucking you silly almost every night – and on top, he's got a full-time nine-to-five.

You want to do something for him, get his mind of off everything for a while. And maybe this opens the door for more later – it's not that Steve doesn't let you take charge often, but even then he's still very much a giver rather than a taker, and this time you want him to just take and be as selfish with you as he'd wish to for once.

And so you stroke him faster in your hand again, your grip tighter this time.

A low groan sounds from his throat when your hand squeezes him at the base. Electric shocks from the centre of him to his brain.

You can't deny him what you want, can't ignore his pleas for more pleasure, not when he's so pretty underneath you, face red and flush, and his hair a mess all over a place with a few strands down his forehead.

Beautiful, in every sense. Debauched facial expression: eyes heavy-lidded and mouth agape, heavy pants in and out.

So pretty, and so you really can't even think to deny him what he aches for. Your hand moves faster without meaning to, just wanting to see more of him in this state. He rewards you with another groan, his hand tightening on your waist.

faster and faster, the sudden change of pace makes his back arch of the headboard bringing his chest closer to yours and he can feel your hardened nipples from beneath your thin shirt. The feel of it makes him shudder and he feels the need to be closer to you.

He can't think to even lift hands to take the shirt you're wearing of you, feel you closer to his skin, his heart – but he can lean his face up towards you and hope you understand his polite request.

And you do, instantly, because you were already halfway down to laying another kiss on his soft, pink lips.

Your lips meet his, gentle and tender as you feel his soft lips between your own. Your hand moves even quicker now, your thumb pressing down on the on spot you know makes him keen — and his reaction is instant. His mouth opens mid-kiss as he moans unabashedly against your lips as you continue to press over that one spot over and over again.

He's going to go insane, by god, you're going to drive him to the crazy house, because the things you're doing to him are effectively frying his brain.

You leave his mouth, and choose to kiss his exposed neck instead.

He's welcoming of it; without meaning to, he tilts his head to give you more access to suck and bite all kinds of marks along his neck – and he'd wear them with pride, let everyone now how good his girl takes care of him, how good she makes him feel. Fuck, he just wants you all around him, your soft lips on his neck and hands on his cock. He can feel your thighs against his, your calves rubbing against his knees – with every brush of your skin against his the fire in his belly grows warmer, moving from his core and spreading to his chest, his head, his limbs – rendering him tingly all over and loose beneath you.

Your hand move down as you caress his balls in slow circles as your other hand moves to continue stroking his cock.

And Steve keens, whimpers uncontrolled rolling out of his lips. And you time your hand encircling and tightening against his taut balls as you bite down on his neck, your lips suck on the tender flesh of his neck, suck and bite on a tender point on his neck.

And Steve? fuck

Steve's mind goes blank.

No thoughts, no words, nothing.

Just pleasure.

White, hot, blinding pleasure.

He feels it deep within him, a feeling like hot, melted honey so visceral it moves along from his center to spread all over him in intense waves.

In a haze, he's aware his thighs have begun to shake, his sartorius muscle clenching and rippling underneath his skin as the feeling begs to claw out of bones and release.

He's keening, hot moans and whimpers flowing through his lips in a steady flow. You can feel the sounds before you hear them, your lips still pressed to the length of throat.

Both of his arms are now gripping your hips hard, urging you closer to him. He wants– no, needs you closer. There's some part kf him that feels like he can't handle anything else, that if you were to repeat the same movements you've just done, of you were to press down on that spot along his tip, he might just go insane. Maybe lose all cognitive ability as your constant infliction of pleasure fries his nerve endings.

But these thoughts don't last, nerves frayed and through barely able to keep grip as your hands continue to jerk him quick8and quicker, unaware of how intensely you've just wrecked him.

— it's quiet and yet he can't think.

"Please," a voice he doesn't even register as his own, "please, baby, I lov- fuck, love you —oh – fuck, oh, honey–"

He's not sure what words he's saying, not even sure if he's speaking or thinking them, but the desired effect comes anyway.

The precum on your fingers help keep your movements quick, and you continue to move your fingers up and down as your other hand massages his balls.

On one particularly hard jerk, his legs twitchs beneath you, resulting in his thigh rubbing hard against your center, brushing your clit the way you've been abstaining of doing for the past god knows how long now.

shit, you might just come from this slight touch. You hadn't even realised how hot and wet you've become over the duration of pleasuring your boyfriend.

He's always been so hot to you (to everyone really, if his reputation so implies), and one look from him would've been enough to have your underwear ruined.

But, god, he's given more than just a look. He's given you his pleasure, his bare form against yours – he's given you his moans and mewls, his vulnerability. He's given you full control over his body and his pleasure – hadn't even tried once to flip you over and switch roles (not that he'd even be able to with how week in the knees you've rendered him)

So, how can you not be all hot and bothered by this? by the lascivious site of him beneath you as he desperate and weak cries fill the room around you?

Without meaning to, your hips rock against his thighs, moving in tandem with the rhythm you've set with your hand against his cock.

The feel of your dripping centre against him weakens him further, his eyes closed and head burying in the pillow. To know that his pleasure affects you that much makes his cock twitch in your fingers, makes his heart swell with an affection that is so foreign to him.

He's felt it before with you, with his tongue on your center and fingers buried deep – he's cum many times as he ate you out, unable to control himself from letting go as your pretty sounds spurred him on.

But it feels weird for the script to flip, for his immense pleasure be reason for your own, even as you remain untouched above him.

Your lips move from one spot on his neck to the other, biting and sucking as you go, feeling the vibrations of his throat down to even your core as you steadily grind yourself back and forth along the thick expanse of his muscular thighs – feeling every bulge of his muscles, every twitch of his form against the folds of your pussy, the curve of your clitoris.

His voice gruff and broken as he whimpers for you.

And despite the oath you took to only focus on him tonight, you can't stop your hips from moving even faster, motivated by lewd noise he makes.

You are human after all, and the intimacy of the atmosphere around you can't be ignored. The sight of his heaving chest gone red from blush of pleasure tempts you to feel him against your skin – to feel more of him as you make him (and yourself) cum.

You can feel it now, the shift in the atmosphere as your fingers keep moving and your hips keep rocking – it's all coming to a crescendo.

Maybe when your done milking him till you're both reasonably satisfied, you'll kiss him stupid as he recovers and then ride him till he's coming inside of you — maybe he'll sound even prettier then, cock deep in your cunt as you bounce up and down the length of him. You'll kiss his pretty neck all over then, too, feel the whimpers as they form his throat and kiss his lips as he moans for you.

or maybe you'll let yourself go now, core molten against his thighs as he cums for you spurt after spurt.

You can already feel yourself growing weak and weightless with euphoria, filled with a fever-like weakness that pulls you lower and lower to the throes of passion.

Before you can register your movements, you're pulling your hands away from Steve and ripping his shirt that still on your body off you.

The moment of reprieve, or perhaps frustration, shocks Steve, and he mewls against your throat for more.

"so close, bab– oh god–" his pleas are cut short as your hands resume their earlier position, moving faster and harsher now, more determined to get him to his high before you lose it yourself.

Your thumb drags over his slit and down to his pleasure points, up and down gripping the base. Up and down and a squeeze to his balls. Faster, gentler, more – Steve can't think, can't hold it together anymore. It's too much, please, oh please– too much yet he needs more, needs that final push to euphoria. Needs it, fuck– wants it and can't take anymore.

You lean down to kiss him on the lips again, and your nipples bush against his chest – the feeling making you both keen against each other. The soft curve of your breasts rubs against the peaks of nipples. Each rock of your hips against his thigh moving your body against him, electrifying touches all over his body and your chest rubs against his.

You bite his lips as you kiss, taking his plush bottom lip between your own and awarding it a slight tug, before letting go and soothing his tender lips with your lips.

You pull back a moment to admire your handiwork. His lips are red and kiss-bruised. His eyes are heavy lidded and you can see the dreamy and half-present look in the crescents of his eyes. He pants against your lips and tilts his head upward to kiss your lips and intertwine your tongue with his own. You watch his eyes fully close before your own do and you kiss him back.

And it appears that Steve's torture has gotten the best of him, because beneath you his chest hitches as his back begins to arch the way it always does before he cums. The sounds escaping his throat and vibrating against your lips are sporadic and disjointed. He's less kissing you now, more letting you kiss and suck at his parted lips.

His muscle tense and twitch against you, and you know all you need to do is just give him a little more, an extra nudge, and he'll topple over.

Your thumb presses against his slit as you jerk him, and your other hand massages and circles his balls just a tad bit harder.

And Steve feels himself fall.

He's not sure if the sounds he hears are his own or yours — pitches and tones melting into one, sounds coming in and out of focus as his eyes roll back and his body breaks out into tremors.

The feeling is intense, hot and burning and too much, spreading from his cock to his guts to his chest and head.

Steve shakes beneath you, body vibrating as shot after shot of hot cum fills your fist and releases over your hands and onto the sheets.

His abdominal muscles twitch as you milk him for all he's worth, your hands continuing to move as he experiences his high. Your hips rock harder and harder against his thighs, clit brushing faster as your wetness soaks his thighs.

You only slow your hand when Steve begins to thrash beneath you, his silent scream turning to aching cries.

"Steve," you moan against his lips as you rock harder, electricity filling you as your head begins to buzz and your eyes roll.

"Fuck," his whisper is quiet and rough with use, "cum for me, baby, come on," his hands, despite weak with euphoria, grip your hips with all his might to help rock your hips faster against him. "cum, honey. I love you– come on."

Steve, despite barely able to even blink his eyes open or keep his head straight, moves a hand to the back of your head to bring you closer, granting you the same intimacy you'd given him for his own orgasm.

He pulls your face to his lips, biting your plush lips in the same manner you did to his lips moments prior.

Despite the fact that Steve's brain is so euphoria-riddled that everything he experiences feels as if through a haze, he's completely and acutely in tune to your pleasure – to the hitch in your throat as your whimpers grow breathier, to the jerk of your hips against him, to how you seem to burrow yourself closer to him as you approach your own high.

Desperate and nerves frazzled to meet your own high, your hand moves to your own centre.

You bow your back as you begin to circle your clit, using Steve's sticky cum to intensify the feeling.

As your hand moves, Steve pulls back from kissing your neck, tilting his head to watch you make yourself cum with his own spend.

"oh, steve– I love you, fuck, baby–gonna cum fo'you," your words are just ramblings, breathless and desperate as you near your high.

A whimper releases from his throat as he watches your fingers circle your clit – one, two, three tugs before your body tips forward, tremors and twitches racking through your body. Your front presses against your boyfriend's chest as soft, gentle pressure fills your core and your body, leaving you weightless and pliant in the aftermath.

Those gentle waves of euphoria render you speechless against Steve, your limbs are jelly as you melt against your lover.

If Steve wasn't so spent, if his head wasn't already far too high in the clouds of venus, he might've gotten hard all over again and fucked the mix of yours and his cum deeper into your cunt.

But that'll wait, maybe a few minutes, or an hour – maybe...

His eyes are already closing.

Bone-deep euphoria induced exhaustion pulls him deep into a restful slumber.

He'll clean you both up later. You know he'll repay the pleasure you've given him with a hundred acts of care and praise. But for now you'll let him pull you down again him, let him bask in the intoxicating feeling of intimacy that comes after your love making. He settles you close, his hips against your own as you lay over like a weighted blanket.

A soft, comforting, supple blanket.

His hands fumble next to him as he reaches for the tissue box on his bedside and hands you one to wipe your fingers, eyes still closed. The rest of you can be cleaned...later, in the shower, or with his tongue; he'll decide later.

Right now, he just needs you against him.

As a final act of love before he's out, his hand moves to the back of your head and kisses your lips one last time, slow and tender, and another against each eyelid, before coming back again to your lips.

"Steve..." you break the kiss to whisper against his lips, "you gotta let me take care of you often." your words barely even a slur. Despite your love-drunk state and sensitivity, you already know that you want a repeat of this night; of the gratifying feeling as you give your lover pleasure.

Before you can respond to his weak chuckle, you're both out like light, his arms wrapped tight against you as yours rest around his neck, keeping him close to you as you bask in the post-euphoria quiet intimacy.

Like it? >> Give this a go

A/N – wasn't really sure how to end this. It's been almost two years since I've written anything at all so it feels great to get back into it. Feel like I've forgotten how to describe things??? but oh well Feedback is always wanted and appreciated

Requests are open <3

[misc-obeyme]

Mer!MC Headcanons - Younger Brothers

All right, here are the rest of the brothers. I don't think I'm gonna break them up like this again, even if they are getting stupidly long lol. I like having all the bros together, I think.

Anyway, here we are with mer!MC from the human world randomly showing up in the Devildom. I quite like how these turned out, which surprised me. While I might do the side characters on my own, I am easily persuaded by a single comment/tag/ask lol.

read the older brothers here and the side characters here

GN!mer!MC x Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, & Belphegor

Warnings: none

Satan

Satan wanders after a cat and ends up in the farthest reaches of the Devildom forest. He loses track of the cat, but he finds you instead. You're sitting beneath a small waterfall in a fresh water pond. The moment you catch sight of him, you duck behind the sheet of water. He keeps his distance at first, not wanting to frighten you. He's curious about how a merperson like yourself ended up all the way out here. The cat wanders back around, so he sits on the bank with it, petting it quietly and waiting for you to come out of hiding.

You can't resist the pull of a cute little cat sitting there, just waiting for you to pet it. You venture out, finding yourself less wary as Satan smiles at you. He lets you dry your hands on his sweater before you attempt to pet the cat, just in case it doesn't like water. It purrs happily as you scratch under its chin.

He takes the moment to ask you about yourself. When he finds out that you're from the human world, he frowns. You don't belong here in the Devildom. He knows that, but he also doesn't know how you got here or how to get you back. From that moment on, he returns regularly to the forest. The cat sticks around with you so he brings it treats and brings you books. You get hooked on them, reading every one he brings, but your favorite thing is when he reads to you. He discovers you're especially fond of pirate stories and poetry about the sea.

Satan debates with himself about whether or not he should help you find your way back to the human world. In the end, he asks you directly. And he believes you when you say you want to stay with him. It's a relief and he didn't quite realize how nervous he was about you leaving. Won't you allow him to sit here beside you every day, MC?

Asmodeus

Asmo is doing a beach side photo shoot for a swim wear company, but takes a break to walk through the waves for a moment. He's far off from the group of demons he's working with when he notices the flash of your tail in the sparkling ocean. He's mesmerized almost instantly. What beauty! He wants to get closer, so he wades out quite a ways. He's so entranced by the shimmering glimpses of you that he loses his footing and gets pulled beneath the water.

He struggles, knowing he's too far away from the others for them to have seen him go under. But then he feels arms around him as he's pulled above the surface. He gasps in heavy lungfuls of air as he feels himself being carried. He manages to rearrange himself in your arms princess style as you swim him back to shore.

Asmo takes a minute to recover himself, but then he's staring at you with wide eyes. You're halfway out of the water, the waves lapping gently against your beautiful tail. He can't stop himself from touching you - gentle fingertips across your cheeks, through your hair, and lingering on your scales. He stops thanking you only long enough to tell you how gorgeous you are.

He comes back to the beach without the photo crew and he always finds you waiting. He brings you trinkets and his heart soars when you present him with a handmade shell necklace. He wears it whenever he returns. When he finds out you're from the human world, he sighs. The humans wouldn't know how to appreciate something as beautiful as you, MC. Won't you stay here and let him admire you a little longer? Every time he comes back to see you, he's flooded with relief that you're still there, waiting for him in the glistening waves.

Beelzebub

In an attempt to shake up his usual routine, Beel adds swimming to his workout regimen. He's been doing laps in the RAD pool, but he notices that there's something unusual going on. He can't quite figure it out, but he feels like someone's watching him. Eventually, he sits on the steps that lead into the pool and just asks out loud if there's anyone there. He's surprised when you surface from the deep end. You've been hiding in the shadows of the deepest, darkest part of the pool.

Beel waits for you to come over to him on your own. You do eventually, cautiously. He finds out you're from the human world and that you have no idea how you ended up in the RAD pool. It was likely some witch's spell gone wrong. But you're here now. And he can't stop staring at you. You're beautiful and strong and even if you're a little shy at first, you open up to him soon enough.

He comes back every day, of course. And you impress him by beating him in every swimming race. He can't keep up with you and while that's to be expected considering you have a tail and all, he's still amazed. You tell him about the world you left behind, details of the human world he never knew. If he starts to look sad because he thinks you miss your home, you splash him with water. Things quickly devolve into a splash fight, both of you laughing as the water flies around you.

Eventually, Beel realizes that you can't stay in the pool forever. It's too small and he sees the way you gaze off out the windows of the gym forlornly. He brings you to the ocean, carrying you himself, placing you gently in the waves. You get to choose if you'll stay at this Devildom beach for a while or if you'll swim off into the horizon, never to be seen again. Whatever you choose, MC, he will always cherish your time together.

Belphegor

After hearing about how clear the skies are out on the ocean, Belphie rents a boat and goes sailing. When he's far out to sea, in a place where the waters are relatively calm, he stops his boat so he can look up at the sky. He's so focused on the constellations that he doesn't quite realize where he's stepping and he backs right into the railing, nearly falling into the water. He catches himself, but finds he's staring down at the dark ocean's surface. He sees the watery reflection of a few of the brightest stars, but there are two that seem too bright. As you come closer, he realizes that he is looking into two shining eyes.

Belphie backs away as you emerge from the water, resting your arms around the railings so you can see him clearly. He didn't think he would see a merperson out here. A few questions reveal that you're from the human world, uncertain of how you found yourself out here in a place of eternal night. Your tail flops up on the deck and it's like a mirror, reflecting back the brilliant pinpoints of the stars.

He sits with his legs dangling off the side of the boat and traces the constellations on your scales. He's pleased with the way you shiver at his gentle touch, the way you listen to him tell you about the constellations and their stories as if his words were keeping you alive.

He purchases his own boat and keeps it docked nearby so he can take it out into the depths to stargaze with you nearly every night. You never express a desire to return from the world you left and he never brings it up. He wants you to stay here with him. He can't stop thinking about the stars that are your eyes, MC. He dreams about them when he sleeps. You've embedded yourself into his heart, like you've made your home there in the Devildom sea.

older brothers | side characters | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[generalsmemories]

THE MILESTONE EVENT REQUEST (LOVE THE IDEA BTW):

Fluff sentences 6+8

AND ..!

Fluff scenario 2

WITH IL DAN HENG + GN! READER

Good luck (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Intertwined

✧ Imbibitor Lunae!Dan Heng x gn!reader

✧ prompts used: "you're so warm." "i hear you, but we really need to get up, love." + "youre going to get sick if you keep coddling me" "and you're just going to get worse if i don't..." + playing with their hair until they fall asleep || 1k event

✧ content: established relationship, fluff, humor, sick!fic, the reader is the one sick here, mentions of other characters (astral express family), personal headcanons for dan heng (literally only the fact that his blood runs cold)

✧ a/n: crank the fluff meter up cause everything i write about dan heng whether in his IL form or normal form is just fluff. thanks for joining the milestone event anon! i hope this was a comfortable read - not beta-read as well yeehaw.

Dan Heng can feel an added weight on him - a weight that wasn't there the previous evening when he went to bed. He can also feels the unusual warmth of the hands splayed on his back. The sudden weight and difference in temperature on his normally cold skin makes him blink his eyes open.

The only sight he's greeted with however, is the top of your head as you rest on top of him. Your hands had wormed themselves underneath his shirt to seek solace against his cool skin - It's not unusual for you to sneak into the archives to sleep alongside him, mostly on the claim that he was the perfect temperature to hug since his body temperature was naturally cooler in his real form. However, his ears twitch a bit when he hears your low groan when he tries to maneuver the two of you around, Dan Heng stopping in his tracks to actually take a good look at you.

There's a slight flush to your face, and while you look relatively peaceful right now, your eyebrows furrow everytime he tries to move - snuggling closer to him whenever he tries to pry you away from his body. The action makes him let out a defeated sigh, bringing up a hand to gently brush the hair that's been sticking to your face due to sweat away before pressing his palm to your forehead.

The effect is almost immediate, the furrow in your brows receding from his cool touch - but Dan Heng's own eyebrows knit together in concern when he feels how hot you are. He retracts his hand while looking around the futon in search of his phone, but the twists and turn of his body eventually manage to wake you up, "... Dan Heng...?" you murmur, and the Vidyadhara stops in his tracks to focus his attention back on you, "Good morning, how are you feeling?" he asks in a low whisper, maneuvering his hand to rest on the back of your neck which makes you shiver from the difference in temperature.

"I could be better," you say with a laugh, dropping your head back down on his stomach after Dan Heng manage to wriggle you further down his body so he can at least sit up on the futon, "You're so warm, so I was able to sleep better," you utter, words muffled from having your face buried in his shirt.

"... Yeah, you're really sick," Dan Heng confirms once he hears the one comment about his temperature - because you out of everyone should know the fact that his body temperature ran colder than an average human, "But we need to get up, love. Or more specifically, I have to get up to grab something for that cold of yours," he tells you, gently prying your arms away from his waist so he can stand up, but you weakly try to wrap them back around him with a low whine, "No," you protest meekly, eyes still too hazy to comprehend what you're doing, but still firm in staying close to him.

"Don't act so stubborn now, I'm only going to be away for a couple of minutes at most," he reprimands you, already having wormed himself away from you and standing up, but you still manage to meekly grab at his tail before he can scurry off, "... Then take me with you..."

Yeah, that's not happening.

"... Fine I'm not going anywhere, just lay back down for now. You move more than this and you're just going to get worse," he reminds you, pushing you softly aside so that you can lay down on his futon properly, summoning his tail so it can wrap around your waist - a small giggle leaving your lips when the you're able to grab the end to hug, letting a sigh of relief at the cooling sensation against your own heated body.

It doesn't take long before you doze off again, which lets Dan Heng fish out his phone from underneath the pillow you're currently laying on and sending a message to the groupchat.

The Astral Express Family

[Dan Heng]

[Name] is sick and they won't let me out of their sights. Can anyone grab some medicine and come in here later with some food? There's also some medicine Bailu helped me make when I was visiting the Luofu in the medicine cabinet if someone could grab that as well - should help with general fevers.

[Himeko]

I'll ask Pom-Pom to make some congee, how are they doing?

[Dan Heng]

Could be better, they're just a bit out of right now. Some medicine and good rest should be enough.

The Vidyadhara puts the phone aside after informing everyone before leaning over to assess your condition. Your breathing is still shallow, and your temperature is still hot - but at least you're not waking up from sudden movements from him.

Dan Heng eventually settles himself down beside you, propping his elbow up to rest his cheek against his closed fist. His free hand coming up to brush through your hair to help you sleep better.

There's a knock at the archives door around an hour later, and Dan Heng merely utters a quiet, "Come in," before the door slides open and Welt walks in with a sympathetic smile and a tray, "You've really become their cuddle pillow," he comments upon entering, placing the tray by the desk.

In the hour that he waited, you had woken up from your slumber and without a single word leaving your lips you had merely untangled yourself from his tail, gestured for Dan Heng to sit up before sitting on his lap, arms wormed around his waist with your face pressed against his neck.

"Can't say I'm surprised really, thanks for bringing the food in, Mr. Welt."

"Of course, text the groupchat if you need anything else, Pom-Pom would be ecstatic to help again - they haven't moved so fast in a while after all."

Dan Heng lets you sleep a bit longer before he brings a hand up to rub your back, ducking his head down to whisper into your ear, "[Name]? Wake up, try to get something to eat so you can drink some medicine, okay?" you groan in response, rubbing your face further into his neck, "... 'm not hungry," you utter.

"You are. And even if you're not, it's still best for you to eat something. Just a few bites and then you can go back to sleep, okay?" he coaxes, leaning away from you to cup your cheeks so he can look at you, "Come on, for your own sake?" he asks, leaning in to peck the corner of your mouth.

You're only able to get a couple of mouthfuls in before you twist your head away from the spoon, reaching for the medicine laid out before you and gulping it down before letting yourself fall down back on his futon.

It doesn't take you long before you turn over and reach your arms for him, wriggling your fingers to get him to lay down with you - and Dan Heng knows from experience that the more he denies you, the more you will try.

So he merely sighs, laying down before wrapping his arms around you - the content chuckle you let out makes him smile a bit, "You know you're going to get sick if you keep coddling me like this," you muse, and Dan Heng merely rolls his eyes at that comment, "And you're just going to get worse if I don't, so where do we go from there?" he utters back, to which you only make a sound of acknowledgement.

"Can Vidyadhara's even catch these sort of colds?" you ask, pushing yourself up from his hold to instead rest on the man himself, Dan Heng letting out a small grunt at the added weight, but his tail nonetheless worms itself back around your waist to keep you steadily on top of him.

"No, we don't," he confirms, and you give him a cheeky grin, "So I can still kiss you while running a high fever?" you question while leaning a bit closer and he merely raises his eyebrow at you.

"At least I know your fever is going down with how you're joking around like this," he comments, reaching a hand up to cup your head and gently pull you down towards him, giving you a small peck. Your eyes widen in surprise at the notion, and Dan Heng lets out a quiet laugh at your shocked face, "What? Didn't expect me to actually kiss you?"

"... To be honest, no. Not with how you like to keep things clean."

He huffs out a laugh, "I can make a few exemptions for you," he says, reaching a hand behind your head to pull you down to his chest, "Now go sleep. The sooner you get better, the less I have to worry."

"Mmm, thanks for taking care of me."

naru and her struggle with ending drabbles hits again yeehaw.

[edenmemes]

arcane (s2) sentence starters

ep1 - 6. warning for spoilers !

❝ everybody wants to be my enemy. ❞ ❝ you’re our leader. they follow you. i follow you. ❞ ❝ i've seen miracles spring from the hands of mages many times, but so often, they turned to horrors. ❞ ❝ why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? for love. ❞ ❝ in my experience, no one in power is innocent. ❞ ❝ this will have consequences. ❞ ❝ i don't wanna hear another word out of your mouth. ❞ ❝ i keep telling myself that you're different. but you're not. ❞ ❝ i haven't insulted your intelligence. do not insult mine. ❞ ❝ if you see the opening...take the shot. ❞ ❝ it's me. your vile villainess. the author of your nightmares. ❞ ❝ you have no inkling what family is to me. ❞ ❝ our paths diverged long ago. it was affection that held us together. ❞ ❝ i'm done blaming myself for your mistakes. ❞ ❝ your talents can be used to build, instead of destroy. ❞ ❝ no beast is more savage than man. ❞ ❝ the dirt was on both our hands. ❞ ❝ stick your head in the dirt if you want, but this fantasy you've been living out here, it's not gonna last forever. ❞ ❝ now people avert their gaze when i roll by. ❞ ❝ still giving me the silent treatment, huh? ❞ ❝ you think it's so easy? to turn your back while your city looks to you for salvation? ❞ ❝ playing coy doesn't suit you, love. ❞ ❝ is it bad that i'm making friends with my demons? ❞ ❝ can i do the right thing for the wrong reason? ❞ ❝ ever since you dropped into my life, it's like i put on glasses. ❞ ❝ jeez, lady, you crazy? talking to dead people. ❞ ❝ that's a past life, kid. and it was about as sweet as last year's milk. ❞ ❝ why is peace always the justification for violence? ❞ ❝ haven't i done you enough favors? ❞ ❝ i must say goodbye to this place now. to you. ❞ ❝ you got that look in your eye again. what are you planning? ❞ ❝ people have lost their heads for less. ❞ ❝ everyone in my life has changed. promise me you won't change. ❞ ❝ wrath must be met with wrath. ❞ ❝ what you've stolen…is more precious than any gold. ❞ ❝ i apologize for the intrusion. i was attempting to sneak in. ❞ ❝ address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut. ❞ ❝ this is what you asked for. heavy is the crown. ❞ ❝ and then what? you take what you need, hang me out to dry? ❞ ❝ do you realize how easy it was for me to track you down here? ❞ ❝ awful, isn't it? losing a loved one. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i’m not comfortable trusting our fates to chance. ❞ ❝ oh, spare the sympathy. ❞ ❝ uh, you do realize code phrases don't work when you make them up on the spot? ❞ ❝ you think it's so easy? to turn your back while your city looks to you for salvation? ❞ ❝ whether i'm pulling the pin or not, everyone who gets close to me dies. ❞ ❝ you walk along the edge of danger and it will change you. ❞ ❝ your youth betrays you. patience is a product of age. both of which i possess in abundance. ❞ ❝ we gotta choose right now whether we're gonna throw in the towel or make a stand together. ❞ ❝ i had a different name back then, you know. ❞ ❝ when will you admit that this is just one of your fantasies? ❞ ❝ my arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle. ❞ ❝ such force must be a final resort. ❞ ❝ in my experience, only guilty men answer accusations with silence. ❞ ❝ every time it seems like we might catch a break. ❞ ❝ you're a monster. why? why do all this? ❞ ❝ i must ask you to surrender your weapons. this is a place of peace. ❞ ❝ i still think it's a dumb idea. but i guess you won, and a deal's a deal. ❞ ❝ it’s nice to know there are still good ones left. ❞ ❝ i promise, it's the last offer you're gonna get. ❞ ❝ no matter what i do, i just can’t seem to die. ❞ ❝ maybe i underestimated you. maybe you have the strength i do not. ❞ ❝ you don't actually need my help. you haven't for a long time. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry i haven’t been around. ❞ ❝ like it or not, we're in this mess together. ❞ ❝ compassion. hate. two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. you’re not gonna like it. ❞ ❝ come closer, will you, babe? ❞ ❝ i'd feared i wouldn't have the chance to speak with you again. ❞ ❝ you here to finish me off? ❞ ❝ i thought you were on our side. ❞

[junekissed]

happy ending

member — husband!junhui x f reader genre — angst, fluff, hurt/comfort word count — 6.6k synopsis — a pointless argument escalates until both of you need some space, but it couldn't come at a worse time. warnings — female reader, planned pregnancy, there's a big argument but i tried to not make it too toxic (jun and reader have a happy & healthy relationship i promise), swearing, there is a happy ending lots of fluff !! notes — requested by anon — this has been sitting in my drafts for months bc every time i look at it i get shy and wanna change my mind but i'm proud of how this turned out so i'm posting it finally! i know pregnancy fics aren't everyone's favorite but this was honestly very comforting to write so i hope anyone who chooses to read can find comfort in it as well <3 also the last time i proofread this was like april and if i try to proofread it rn i'll get shy again and chicken out so if there's any mistakes pls ignore! i hope you enjoy :)

you sat on the bathroom floor, trying to comprehend the weight of the news you held in your hand. you couldn’t believe it. you could? you couldn’t. 

after many months of trying to start a family with your husband, you had finally succeeded. the slim plastic stick with two tiny pink lines was the last piece of evidence you needed. it had been months of carefully tracked cycles, fertility doctors, and new positions that seemed too weird to actually do anything. but now, everything was finally falling into place.

you don’t know exactly how much time you spend sitting on the floor and staring at the pregnancy test; thinking, planning, and thinking some more. but when you finally stand up and place the positive test on the counter with shaking hands, it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet what’s happening. something you’d wanted for so long, and finally it was all right in front of you.

what do you do now? no— you know exactly what you need to do, and it’s a long list of things. the real question is, where do you begin?

you thought back to all the videos you’d watched over the last few weeks. somehow every social media algorithm knew exactly what you wanted to see, and it had given it to you in abundance; baby showers, gender reveals, those “get ready with me - new mom edition” videos. all getting your hopes up before you could confirm whether or not it had finally happened.

with your hopes high and expectations even higher, you were already beginning to plan how you would break the news to junhui. as your husband and your soon-to-be baby’s father, of course you wanted him to be the very first person to know, so you couldn’t wait too long to tell him. you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

maybe you’d get a little gift box and give the test to him before dinner. but, then again, it was literally a piece of plastic you’d peed on. surely you could give him… something a little nicer than that.

maybe you could buy a baby outfit and wrap it up for him. but you remembered he’d mentioned so many times about how excited he would be to pick out clothes once you got pregnant. you would want him to have the honor of picking out the very first one, going to the store together and looking through the whole section before finally settling on the perfect one.

what else was there you could do? bake a cake? make a crossword puzzle? buy him a t-shirt that says “dad-to-be”? so many ways you could do it, but none of them seemed perfectly right.

from the other room you hear the door opening, and hurriedly you stuff the test into a drawer, not wanting to tell him just yet. you need a plan first; waiting another day or two couldn’t hurt, so you’ll just have to figure out how to tell him later.

you flip off the bathroom light and stride into the hallway, barely able to contain the grin on your face. you’ve always been terrible at keeping secrets, and with news as big and exciting as this you have no idea how you’re going to be able to hide it from him for more than a minute.

but luckily you don’t have to wonder about it for long, because as soon as you see jun you can already tell he’s in a sour mood. 

you know it’s usually best to let him have some time alone when he’s upset, but not for too long because he starts getting frustrated with himself and won’t stop working until he’s exhausted.

but you’re still on a high after everything today, so you decide on being a little bit sweeter to him in the hopes that your happiness will be contagious and that it’ll lift his spirits, despite what was probably a really awful day at work.

you find him sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, long fingers pressed against his eyes trying to block out the light.

“hey, junnie,” you call out, sitting down in a chair next to him. “bad day?”

“yeah,” he answers shortly.

“i’m sorry, baby,” you hum, putting your hand on his shoulder, but he flinches and your hand falls away in surprise. he’s never done that before. weird. you try something else. “um, any requests for dinner?”

“not hungry.”

“alright. well, i guess i can cook up some veggies and leave them out, you can heat them up whenever you get hungry.”

he moves his hands away from his face and onto the table, sighing as he leans back in his chair. “can you just— leave me alone for a while? i’m sorry.”

you nod and stand up. “no, it’s fine. i get it. i’ll bring you some tea later then, maybe. text me when you’re feeling better.” you reach out and gently touch his hand before walking away, leaving him alone at the table.

it’s definitely one of his worser days, you note, so you retreat to your bedroom to watch more videos on your phone, trying to bring back your excitement from earlier. hopefully later he’ll be more open and you can sit down and eat something, and maybe by then you’ll have come up with a good way to tell him the news.

an hour passes and you come out of your bedroom to look for jun, having a question from one of your friends about the dinner you’d arranged to have together next week. but he’s no longer in the kitchen, so you peek your head into his office room and find him exactly where you expect him to be, trying to work himself to death.

you clear your throat before you enter, not wanting to startle him again. “hey, junnie, i know you’re in a bad mood, and i’m sorry to interrupt, but—”

“what do you want?” he snaps, never turning around from his desk. just from the way he’s hunched over his computer, he looks like the most stressed you’ve ever seen him, and your chest tightens with worry before your brain registers what he’s just said to you.

“i— excuse me?”

“i said, what do you want?” he repeats, still facing away from you.

you resist the urge to glare at him, knowing he’s probably under a lot of pressure, and you aren’t trying to add to it. “you don’t have to be rude, jun. i just came in here to double check about next weekend, minghao’s texting me.”

he finally lifts his head, slamming his hand down on the desk. “i’m really trying not to snap at you, but— jesus, you make it so fucking hard sometimes.”

you raise your eyebrows in disbelief, your voice lifting in tone. “well, i’m so very sorry to inconvenience you then, but i really don’t appreciate you talking to me like that, jun.”

“and i don’t appreciate you talking to me like i’m a child! when will you get it through your head?”

his comment stings, but you brush it off. “well, maybe if you’d just talk to me like an adult instead of throwing a fit and hiding in your office then i wouldn’t have to treat you like one!” you’re starting to get tired of how he retreats in on himself every time bad shit happens. all you want to do is let him know he doesn’t have to do it alone, and he’s just… exploding at you for no reason, so you don’t try to hide the snarkiness behind your words.

he scoffs angrily and stands up, towering over you at his full height. “oh, grow up! you’re so moody all the time and you expect me to just put up with it! as if i don’t have enough other shit to worry about, i have to worry about what you think of this and that and everything all the damn time!”

you’ve never seen him get so angry like this, and it’s almost scary how completely different this jun is from the jun you know and love. “okay, jun, fine, i’ll just—”

“no, don’t fucking “jun, fine” me. it’s like you’re doing it on purpose at this point, you act like everything is just so perfect and then when it’s not you act like it’s your job to fix everything! you can’t fix everything!”

“i said fine! just forget it, i’ll leave you the hell alone like you always want!”

he pushes past you and crosses the room in two strides, grabbing his keys off the hook by the door, his hand already on the doorknob. “i need to get some air. i’ll be back later.”

you fold your arms over your chest, trying to look unphased but inside your heart is breaking. “you’re really gonna walk out like that? you’re just gonna run away from this? real mature, junhui.”

he spins around, and the look in his eyes is cold. “if i don’t get out of this house right now i’m gonna say something i actually regret.”

and in a flash the door is slammed shut and jun is gone. you can hear his car starting up in the driveway, and seconds later everything is dead silent.

you stand frozen in front of the door, unable to move. you can’t believe it. you can’t. what just happened?

jun has never just… walked out like that.

his words ring in your ears; though your argument wasn’t very long, a lot was said in a very short time and you can’t even begin to think about how to process it as it starts to hit you all at once.

say something he actually regrets? what the hell does that mean? so he’s saying he doesn’t regret everything else, the cursing and the anger and the pointed words that were clearly meant to hurt you?

minute after long minute passes and you realize he’s not coming back anytime soon. finally you drag yourself away from the door, dropping down on the couch in a daze.

there’s never been a time where you and jun haven’t made up immediately after an argument. sure, maybe you take a little bit to cool down in your own space, but neither of you like letting the tension sit unresolved for very long. so what was it this time that made him leave without even a goodbye?

so many reasons, so many excuses, so many words you could’ve said instead. you shouldn’t have reacted like that, you shouldn’t have kept it going, you should’ve just left him alone. would that have made him stay? if you’d backed down sooner and just let him work through it on his own?

despite all the what-ifs and the doubts in your mind, your conscience won’t allow you to let him worry about everything by himself without at least offering your help. you’re a team, husband and wife, and you’ll be damned if you let him forget that. maybe you trying to help actually made things worse in the end, but at least you know you tried… right?

it’s not until you check your phone and realize that jun’s been gone more than half an hour that you finally let yourself cry. you’d been so focused on worrying about where jun was and whether he was okay that you’d barely even thought about what might happen after this.

will he just… come back and pretend nothing happened? will he come back and still be angry at you? it would almost be worse if he was calm and acted like everything was normal. would he even apologize? would you even apologize? of course you would. both of you said things that were fucked up, and you’ll be the first to admit it if it means this whole thing can be over. right now all you want is to have junhui back.

the tears keep falling but you don’t even feel yourself crying, your face rigid as the tears continue to stain your cheeks.

after an hour you force yourself to get up off the couch and move somewhere, anywhere around the house to try and get your mind off things. but you can’t erase his voice from your head, the look in his eyes as he walked out the door and the way his shoulders hunched from anger mixed with exhaustion.

you find yourself back in your bedroom and you fall onto his side of the bed, wishing you would wake up to find that this has all just been a very bad dream.

it’s after 10pm when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand and you sit up in a panic, scrambling to see if it’s something from jun. your eyes sting from crying so much, and you blink away the remaining tears as you unlock your phone with shaking hands. your heart drops even further when you realize it is, in fact, from jun, but not the news you want to hear.

you let your phone slip out of your grasp, tumbling to the carpet with a thud. when he’d said he’d be back later you had assumed that meant he’d be coming back tonight. clearly you thought wrong.

tomorrow seemed so far away; too much time to spend alone in a house that was supposed to be filled with happy memories, but now all you felt was pain. you felt it in your chest and in your stomach and in your head and everywhere. the whole room was suffocating, heavy weight crushing down on you from every angle.

you slide to the floor and pick up your phone. you don’t text junhui back. you’re not sure anymore if he’d even read your message. 

instead you type in your friend seokmin’s phone number, listening to the line ring as you wipe the back of your hand across your eyes.

as soon as he picks up, he can hear the anguish in your voice and he’s begging you to tell him what’s wrong, but all you can muster up is a soft, “can i stay with you tonight?” because you can’t bear to be in this house another second without junhui. 

and of course he says yes, and of course he’s immediately on his way over to pick you up. and of course he stops at mcdonald’s on the way back to his house to buy you something to eat, because you haven’t eaten and even though you don’t particularly have much of an appetite right now, seokmin would rather die than let you skip a meal, especially on a night like tonight when you could really use something to keep you going.

you throw your overnight bag on the floor of seokmin’s living room with a small sigh. in a haze you’d tossed in whatever items you thought you might need; a toothbrush, pajamas, something to wash your face with. 

he gives you space for a while as he pulls out the folding bed part of the couch and brings out blankets and pillows for you to sleep with. you don’t say it, but you really appreciate his help. he’s been one of your best friends for so long, and you don’t know what you’d do without him. 

you hadn’t thought about it while you were packing, but as you stand in seokmin’s bathroom you think about the cleanser you’d grabbed; your favorite one, the one jun had gotten you for your birthday last year and you’d never switched to another brand since. 

every single thing reminds you of him, and you push down a fresh wave of emotion as you scrub the foam into your skin, trying to wash away all your tears.

when you’re done getting ready for bed you find seokmin in the living room with a pot of tea. he was just trying to help, but unluckily for him, he’d made green tea. it was your favorite… but it also happened to be jun’s favorite.

and this time you can’t hold back your tears, and seokmin is sitting wide eyed and bewildered, wondering why you’re crying over tea, but he doesn’t ask. he just reaches out to let you hug him, and you squeeze him so tightly you know it must hurt, but he doesn’t say anything, just lets you hug him as hard as you can and lets your tears stain his t-shirt.

it takes another half hour for you to calm down enough to talk. you’d spent the time watching whatever was on tv, not really paying attention and instead playing everything back in your mind. seokmin had just sat next to you, quietly keeping you company until you were ready.

“jun and i… had a fight,” you say finally, interrupting the commercial playing on the screen.

“i figured,” he says, offering you a comforting smile as he mutes the tv. “do you wanna talk about it?”

“i don’t know. there’s not much to talk about.” you take a shaky breath, remembering it all one more time. “we both said some awful things that we didn’t mean. at least, i know i didn’t mean them. then he just… left, and he texted that he’d come home tomorrow. that’s it.”

you don’t tell him about the pregnancy test. you’ve mentioned once or twice that you and jun had been interested in starting a family, but you’d never gone into detail about it and you weren’t going to now. you still wanted jun to be the first person to know, even though you didn’t know when that might be anymore.

you tell him about other things instead, about your day at work and your plans for the weekend. eventually you finish your tea, and seokmin retreats to his own room and shuts the door with a quiet click, leaving you alone in the quiet of his living room.

it takes you a long time to fall asleep, but soon your exhaustion catches up with you and you let yourself rest, physically and emotionally drained. at least the silence here isn’t as bad as the silence at your house.

across town in his friend seungcheol’s guest bedroom, jun can’t stop tossing and turning. he’s fucked up, he knows he fucked up, big time.

why did he leave? he shouldn’t have left. you had been absolutely right, he was running away from everything and it was stupid and dumb and immature. but in that moment all he could think about was what the next awful thing he might say to you was, and he knew if he had stayed for any longer he wouldn’t have been able to stop what came out of his mouth. he was out of control, and immediately he knew it.

not even the worst day in the world could make you deserving of all the things he said to you. you were the only thing that wasn’t bad in his life; even on shitty days like today, all you did was care about him. and all he did was hurt you.

jun barely sleeps that night, finally forcing himself out of the extra bed at dawn. he’d been too anxious to sleep, too frustrated with himself to do anything other than think about everything he did and wonder if you were okay without him.

he’d already gotten an earful from his friend last night, and he knew he was still in big trouble. the things he said wouldn’t just go away overnight. in fact, they’d probably gotten worse by leaving them to build up overnight, and again he’s kicking himself for ever leaving in the first place.

he packs up his things as quickly as he can, eager to get home and see you again. on his way out the door, he thanks seungcheol for letting him stay the night and he apologizes for bothering him so late.

“i’m not the one you need to apologize to. you better figure out how to fix this, jun.”

with a straight face he nods, bowing his head as he closes the door.

in his car, jun takes the long way home, trying to find an open grocery store. he knows it won’t make up for how he acted, but the very least he can do it buy you a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

he walks through the aisles, basket in hand, trying to think of something else for you. maybe he’ll get the ingredients he needs to make your favorite dinner tonight; he hadn’t eaten last night, though you had offered to cook for him and he’d shot you down.

he feels another pang of guilt at the thought, remembering yet another kind gesture you’d tried to give him that he’d brushed off like it meant nothing. it meant everything to him, and in the middle of the frozen vegetables aisle he swore he wouldn’t ever do it again. 

he’d taken you for granted, and he was so lucky that things hadn’t ended worse than they did. he could’ve said something truly unforgivable, or he could’ve even lost your relationship altogether. but he was still yours, and you were still his, and he would just have to work extra hard to make sure you knew how sincere he was.

he’d been a little worried that you hadn’t texted him back last night, seeing that you’d read his message but never responded. you were probably still hurt, and he didn’t blame you; still, he’d hoped you would say something back.

with grocery bags loaded full of ingredients for dinner and the special things he’d bought for you, the drive back home feels a little more hopeful.

he plans out everything he’ll do in the car. he’ll bring the groceries in and put them away quickly; it’s still fairly early in the morning, so hopefully you won’t be awake yet. he’ll arrange your flowers all nice in a pretty vase, and he’ll come in and wake you up with the best apology of his life and hopefully a really big hug. after the last 24 hours he really could use a hug, and he’s sure you could too. and then he’ll explain how sorry he is and how he didn’t mean any of it and then everything will be better again. yes, everything will be okay.

the first part of his plan goes perfectly. he sneaks into the house and when he’s met with silence he continues putting everything away, quietly so he won’t wake you up in the other room. then, he puts the flowers in a vase and with everything in place, he walks down the hallway to finally face you.

but when he twists the bedroom door handle, the bed is made and the room is empty. you aren’t there.

he frowns, leaving the room and poking his head into the bathroom, then his office. he calls your name loudly, hoping you’re just in a corner of the house and you’ll come out once you hear him. but no reply.

he goes back into the living room and sets the vase down on the coffee table, trying to think. you aren’t usually up this early, but maybe you hadn’t been able to sleep and you’d gone out for a walk, or maybe you’d gone to the store to get more cereal? 

a sinking feeling rises in his chest, and he walks back into the bedroom to confirm something, sliding open the closet door to check. your overnight duffel bag is gone.

he ducks back into the bathroom to check something else. your toothbrush isn’t sitting in the jar like it usually is. he slides open the bathroom drawer to check one more thing, and—

his hand freezes on the knob, staring at something in the drawer that wasn’t there before. he’s not sure it is what he thinks it is, but either way there it is, clear as day in front of him: a little white piece of plastic, sticking out from underneath a tissue. 

gingerly he pulls it out, holding it up to the light to see it better. when he sees the two pink lines he nearly drops it in shock, but he stops himself, setting it gently on the counter instead.

this is something special, something precious, and he knew he had to take care of it. you’d saved it for a reason; you could’ve easily just thrown it away once you knew the results, but you had kept it instead. were you going to give it to him?

he covers his mouth with his hand, still staring at the stick sitting on the edge of the sink. it was just a cheap piece of plastic, but to him it was the most important thing in the entire world.

he deflates when he realizes you’d probably been planning on telling him last night, before he’d blown up at you. if he’d been paying attention to anyone other than himself, he would’ve noticed your mood was happier than usual, your face glowing with contained excitement. he should’ve been paying attention.

there’s a sense of urgency in his stride as he dashes around the house, looking for any other sign of you, but it’s clear you weren’t there. there were so many places you could be, he can’t even begin to think of where to look. your parents, friends, family; hell, you could even have stayed in a hotel, alone and upset. he should’ve been there. none of this should’ve ever happened.

immediately he presses the speed dial for your phone, but of course– no answer. he calls again, and again you don’t pick up. he curses, resisting the urge to slam his phone down on the table in frustration. no, he has to stay calm. that’s what got him into this whole fucking mess in the first place.

he remembers that your parents are out of town on vacation, so you probably wouldn’t have gone there. you wouldn’t have gone to a hotel because you always lecture him about the importance of saving money “just in case”, so you wouldn’t have paid to stay somewhere. your sister is still in college and shares an apartment with three other people, so probably not the best idea either. 

that narrows it down to one of your friends’ houses; seokmin, who lives a couple blocks away, or joshua, who lives on the other side of town.

he figures seokmin is his best bet, so jun takes a deep breath and finds the contact in his phone.

“what do you want?” seokmin’s usually cheery voice has an edge to it today, and jun knows he’s picked right.

“is she there?” he asks anxiously.

“she is,” he confirms, and jun exhales, letting out the breath he had been holding in. “but she’s asleep still. i’ll let her know you called.”

“wait,” jun adds quickly.

the line is silent for a moment, and he’s afraid seokmin’s already hung up, but finally he gets a response. “what is it?”

"can i–are you sure? please," jun pleads. if he could just talk to you, just explain what happened and that he's so fucking sorry—

“hold on,” seokmin says, and the phone goes quiet again.

jun’s heart is in his throat as he waits for a response, and he stops when he finally hears your voice. “hello?”

he breathes a sigh of relief. “sweetheart. i’m so sorry.”

you don’t reply, so he continues.

“i’m glad you’re okay,” he starts, trying to put the right words together. “i shouldn’t have said any of that last night, and i shouldn’t have left. i didn’t mean it. i’m sorry.”

“thanks” is all you say, and he hates how small and sad your voice sounds. it’s his fault you sound like that.

“i found your test,” he bursts out, unable to hide his excitement any longer.

“oh." you pause, swallowing. "so… you know.”

“yes, i do know, baby. i’m so sorry, if i had known before—”

you cut him off, your tone suddenly rising with anger. “‘if you had known?’ so you won’t yell at me if i’m pregnant, but you’re just fine with yelling at me when you think i’m not? is that the only reason why you’re even apologizing to me right now?"

“no— fuck, no, of course not. i shouldn’t yell at you, period. and i’m not going to ever again.” jun pauses for a second, rubbing his hand over his eyes. he’s done nothing so far but make everything worse. “i really messed up, honey, and i’m sorry. i can’t say it enough. but— please, come home. i don’t want to talk over the phone.”

you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall again. you don’t want to cry about this anymore. “okay,” you say finally. “i’ll be home in a little while.”

“thank you,” jun says, and the way his voice breaks makes your heart sink. you can tell he feels awful about everything, and you do really, really miss him.

“…i love you," you add, changing your mind at the last second.

“i love you, too!” he says immediately. “i love you, too, honey. text me when you’re on your way.”

“i will.”

he says “i love you” twice more before you end the call. you sit in silence for a second, processing everything before you stand up off the couch and head to seokmin’s room to give him back his phone.

"can you take me home now, please?" you tell him softly, and immediately seokmin stands up and hugs you, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

"of course. let me know when you're ready."

half an hour later you find yourself in the front seat of seokmin’s car once again, this time sitting nervously in his driveway as he puts your bag in the trunk for you. you're still not sure if you're ready to face jun yet, but you know you have to.

reluctantly you unlock your phone and open your text messages with jun, your eyes landing on the text he'd sent last night that had gone unreplied. with shaky fingers you type out that you're leaving seokmin’s house, and jun replies almost instantly with a long string of heart emojis.

seokmin gets into the car and starts it, and you exhale and set your phone in the cupholder.

"are you okay?" he asks, turning to look at you. "because you can always let me know if you need anything. anytime, day or night."

"i'm alright," you say, taking a deep breath. "i'm fine. but thank you, seok. i really appreciate everything."

he smiles, shifting the car into reverse. "of course. it's no problem at all."

the second he hears the car pull up outside the house, jun jumps up off the couch, smoothing his shirt down anxiously. through the window he watches seokmin hand you your bag and close the trunk, giving you one last hug before he gets back in the car. he doesn't drive away until you're at the front porch, and with a deep breath jun swings open the door, before you can even knock.

you both stand there in silence for a second before he blurts out another apology. "i'm sorry," he rushes to say. "i'm really sorry."

you give him a weak smile. "can i maybe… get in the house, first?" you ask quietly, motioning with your free hand at the doorway.

"yeah, i— yeah, shit, of course," jun says as he practically jumps out of your way, holding the door open for you to walk inside.

you set your bag on the floor by the couch as he closes the door behind you. the sound of the lock clicking seems too loud in the uncomfortable silence that settles over the room.

"can… can i give you a hug? please?" he asks, and you stay quiet but nod. 

he closes the distance between you in one stride and wraps his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly and holding you close to his chest. "i'm so sorry, honey. i didn't mean any of it. i promise."

"i believe you," you finally manage, your voice a little muffled from how he's pressing you against him.

he doesn't say anything more, just holds you and holds you, and it feels so good to be home where you belong. there's a lot that needs to be said, but for right now you don't need any more words. you're just glad to be back together again.

after a while you pull your head away from him so you speak. "i'm sorry."

"why are you apologizing? you didn't do anything wrong, baby. i'm the one that needs to be apologizing."

you shake your head. "no. i said some things last night, too. granted, not as bad as you, but…"

jun breaks out into a grin at your joke, and you feel your mood start to lighten. "…which is true. and i'm sorry."

"jun, you can stop apologizing now. i get it, you're sorry. you don't have to tell me a million times," you say, trying to laugh a little.

now it's his turn to shake his head. "well, i'm going to anyway. because i am sorry." you look away from him, feeling embarrassment start to boil up, but he continues talking. "i'm serious. i'll say it as many times as it takes to make it right."

you turn your head back to him, struggling to keep a straight face. "why did you leave, jun?" you ask softly.

he takes a deep breath, and still trapped in his arms you can feel his chest expand with the breath. 

"it was stupid," he says finally. "i left because i didn't want to stay and risk hurting you more. but i realize i did that anyway, by leaving. i was just… i needed some air. but i shouldn't have stayed away, and i'm not gonna do that again. i won't do it, ever again."

"i just don't want you to leave me," you manage, trying and failing to hide the crack in your voice as you feel your eyes start to well up with tears.

he hugs you tighter and one of his hands comes up to cup the back of your head, gently smoothing your hair with his thumb. "i know, baby, i'm sorry. i'm not going to, i promise."

you don't respond, but you know he's telling the truth. the last 24 hours have been hell for the both of you, and you don't doubt he means every single "i'm sorry" he's said.

"so…" jun starts, and you tilt your head up at him.

"so?" you know what he's going to say next, and despite the excitement you had yesterday you feel yourself dreading this part of the conversation.

"you're pregnant?"

you sigh, looking down and avoiding his eyes. "yeah."

he hums. "but you don't sound excited?" he asks.

"well, i was, last night."

"i'm sorry," he winces. "do you wanna tell me now and i'll pretend this didn't happen and i don't know about it?"

you shake your head. "no, it's fine. the moment's kinda… ruined, already."

he sighs. "yeah, i know. i'm sorry i ruined it."

"i said it's fine, jun."

"no, it's not fine," he says firmly. "it's one hundred percent my fault. this is important to you, and to us, and we should be celebrating right now. last night should never have happened."

"jun, it's in the past. it was messed up, but i forgive you," you say, lifting you head to look at him once more. "it's not a big deal. we're okay now."

"i just want you to be happy about it," he says with a sniff. "we've been trying for so long, and finally…" he trails off, staring at you with watery eyes. 

you smile at him. "i am happy about it, junnie. i'm so happy, you can't even believe."

"did you tell seokmin?" he asks, and his brows furrow when you shake your head no.

"no, i didn't. i wanted you to be the first i told," you say shyly. "i knew you would want to be the first to know."

"i love you so much," he says, still hugging you. he's never going to let you go, never again. "do you know how far along?"

"no, i didn't go to the doctor. probably like two or three weeks, though, if i've been counting it right."

"wow," he sighs, a smile on his face as he stares off into the distance behind you. "i can't wait."

you watch his eyes, practically able to see the thoughts running through his head. 

after a while he loosens his grip around you, moving to swipe at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand. "well—anyway," he starts, giving you an awkward chuckle. "i bought stuff for breakfast. if you haven't had any, yet. and i'm making dinner tonight, too."

before you can even respond his eyes widen, like he's just now remembering all the things he had planned, and he lets go of you, bounding into the kitchen. he returns seconds later with a huge glass vase full of flowers, practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to hand them to you. "and i got these for you, too. sorry they're not the best, it's all the store had this morning."

"junnie, if this is the best the store had, then i don't think i wanna see their best," you laugh, holding the flowers up and admiring the dozens of bright blooms. "this is gorgeous, but you really didn't need to get me anything."

"but i wanted to," he counters, still running around the room to grab the gift bag sitting by the couch. "consider it an 'i'm very sorry' slash 'congrats you're having a baby' gift."

you set the vase down on the table next to you and take the bag from him, pulling out the tissue paper and crumpling it into a ball.

"i didn't have a whole lot of time to look this morning, but i found these," he says nervously, waiting for your reaction.

from the bag you pull out a miniature plastic hanger holding a set of tiny pajamas covered in little kitties, attached to a matching set of striped orange socks.

"i wanted to be the first person to get you baby clothes," he explains as he fidgets with his hands. 

"i knew you would," you smile at him, setting the empty bag and the clothes on the table along with the bouquet of flowers. "and they're perfect. they're so… you."

you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him back in for another hug. "i love all of it. thank you, jun."

he grins, rocking you back and forth in his arms and leaving kisses all over your cheek. "i love you too, baby. i missed you so much. i won't ever do that again."

"i know," you smile. "now… you promised me breakfast, isn't that right? because i'm starving. crying is exhausting."

he laughs. "no crying anymore. and i did promise you that, so tell me: do you want blueberry waffles, or strawberry?"

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[paintedkinzy-88]

Have a big ol’ info dump about Spirits and Ghosts in the Flicker AU! To get my thoughts organized mostly. It’s super long because these two classes are the foundations of pretty much everything else ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Think of this like looking into a bit of Donnie’s research, cuz this would basically be most of what he learned from Drax or at the mystic library.

There are also a handful of other paranormal entities in this world… so if you want the full list, I’ll try getting that done as quickly as I can.

Spirits:

The spirit is the most common form of afterlife! They are souls that are fully satisfied with their life and don’t have any desire to stick around — they are ready to move on.

They are bound together by strong familial bonds, with or without blood relation. These bonds empower each other and create a space in the afterlife for souls to safely go to, but it also means they can still keep track of living family as well. If their bond is strong enough, like the Hamatos, they can also be summoned and visible in the living world!

On a few occasions, a spirit may come down to the mortal world on their own terms, though it takes a lot of energy. They usually have the backing of the other ancestors in the family.

Families with strong mystic connections are even more powerful, building with each generation as more ancestors are available to provide the living members that strength. (Despite the amount of mysticism in the world, this is fairly rare.) This also means the spirits can provide individual support by attaching themselves to a living person, similar to Karai’s bond with April.

Spirits in the living world are fully visible and, to a point, tangible as well. They can choose to hide themselves, or to only allow select people to perceive them, but it is fully in their control. Their appearance relies entirely on their sense of identity, manifesting into what they see as their truest self.

They can also fully see other entities, even if those entities cannot be seen by mortals.

Ghosts:

While not totally common, if you are not a spirit after death, it’s most likely you would be a ghost instead. These are souls that are not satisfied with their life in some way, whether that be unfinished business, or just a reluctance to leave the mortal world. Some ghosts know exactly why they are still around, whereas others may never know.

Ghosts are fairly weak. They do not have their full soul, as most of it is still trying to move on. Because of this, not only are they left with an empty, unfinished feeling, but they are not at all visible to the naked eye. Only the ones with a connection to death can see them, such as mediums or other dead beings. Some yokai will have the ability to sense their presence, such as skeletons… but otherwise not know who or what it is.

Certain crystals or spells can also provide mortals the ability to see/hear the dead, though they are very hard to come by.

They also do not have much control over the physical world. Touching objects can take a lot of energy and practice, as trying too much can drain them to exhaustion. However, though a bit trickier to get a hold of, messing with electricity is far less tiring, meaning lights, appliances, computers, and anything of the sort are all much easier for a skilled ghost to interact with!

Similarly, ghosts can easily manipulate small flames. They are the easiest thing to interact with, though only to an extent. Blowing out candles was always a yokai’s first reliable sign of paranormal activity.

Other signs are as follows: cold spots, moving objects, flickering lights, air movement, knocking, or, eventually, staticky screens, appliances beeping/malfunctioning, music, and even messages/emails/notifications.

Due to their lack of soul, a visual form is also harder to control. Where spirits are seen as their truest self, a ghost can only appear as how they were in the moment of death. For many, that may not be much of an issue, having died unexpectedly in their sleep or from an inner sickness. For others, such as Leo, it is a far more gruesome look.

A ghost can move on to become a spirit, if their needs/wants have been satisfied. Most do. Some never will. Others will transition into a different class, such as phantoms, specters, banshees, or poltergeists.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: not every sign of paranormal activity is ACTUALLY a paranormal being. Some yokai have the ability to turn invisible. Some yokai are cruel and mischievous. You cannot always rely on physical means of confirmation, such as ghost hunting technology or Ouija boards. Mediums or spirits are the most recommended source, but spells and crystals can also do should you need visible proof.

[nanowrimo]

How Finding the Right Writing Community Can Support You as a Writer

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Novlr, a 2023 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is the world’s first writer-owned creative writing platform, built by writers, for writers. Today, professional writer and Novlr Community Lead Pamela Koehne-Drube shares some of the benefits a writing community can provide:

I’ve been a storyteller since I first learned to speak and a writer since I first held a pen. The writing journey is an emotional roller coaster, and no single day is ever the same. 

There are moments of delight, like when a scene I’ve struggled with finally comes together, or the satisfaction of building a character who comes to life on the page. There’s the sense of accomplishment when my first draft is finished and I get to read my completed story, and the nerves of putting those same words in front of readers for the very first time.

There are lots of silent rooms, the soft tapping of keys, or the scribble of a pen. Sometimes the isolation gets too much, and that’s when I grapple with writer’s block, wrestle with stubborn plot holes, or have to slog through edits I’m just not in the mood for.

In my years as a working writer, the most important thing I’ve learned is that while only I can do the writing, I don’t have to go on the journey alone. A writing community can make all the difference in keeping me motivated. 

What is a writing community?

Writing communities are as diverse as the writers who are part of them. Every writer will have a different need from their community, but what they do share is giving writers the opportunity to interact, share knowledge, and provide mutual support.

Some communities come ready-made. NaNoWriMo is a prime example, where diverse writers all rally together to achieve a common goal and support each other along the way. It has been one of my biggest encouragements over the years. And at Novlr, we’ve built an entire writing workspace around the idea of community, not only offering a virtual space for writers to come together and share their wins, struggles, ideas, and techniques but also giving our writer-owners a real say and influence in how our platform grows and develops.

Why are writing communities important?

Writing communities are a lifeline for many of us, offering a nurturing environment where we can learn, grow, and find kinship. Whether it's seeking feedback, gaining inspiration, or just breaking the isolation often associated with writing, they play an invaluable role in any writer's journey.

Encouragement

Sometimes, as a writer, all you need is someone telling you you’re doing a good job. Positive affirmations and encouragement can make all the difference, not only to your confidence but also to motivate you to stick with it. Being able to share ideas, troubleshoot plot holes, and celebrate even the small victories with people who get it is the perfect motivation.

Accountability

Being part of a writing community that openly shares its goals and commitments is a surefire way to motivate you to follow through. Again, NaNoWriMo is a perfect example of this; announcing your intention to the world and to the wider NaNo community makes your 50,000-word draft more than just an idea you have. It makes it real.

This accountability works for smaller goals too. Just sharing them with people makes them a tangible thing to work toward, keeping you accountable and on track to achieve your writing goals.

Become a better writer

Writing groups offer the perfect opportunity to get real-time feedback on your work and expose yourself to diverse and unique perspectives from fellow writers. Not only can they learn from you and your experiences, but you can learn from theirs by championing supportive and constructive criticism.

Rediscover the joy of writing!

There’s something truly special about the collective joy and camaraderie of sharing your writing journey. Writing groups help foster friendships where you can celebrate your shared successes. The challenges of writing become less daunting and more like puzzles to be solved together, and if you involve group activities, like writing prompts or collaborative projects, the process of writing becomes much more vibrant and enjoyable. 

What types of writing communities are there?

Writing events

Writing events foster writing communities where each member shares a single goal or focus. NaNoWriMo is, of course, the biggest and most well-known goal-focused event in the creative writing space. I have lifelong writing pals I’ve met over NaNoWriMo, and we still regularly get together for critiques. Last year, I even did a 24-hour novel challenge where we took the NaNo goal of 50,000 words but tried to fit it into a single 24-hour period. It was one of the toughest writing challenges I’ve ever done, but the community that came from it is amazing.

Similarly, online communities, like our Discord, that host regular writing sprints, often attract goal-focused individuals who enjoy the thrill of time-bound writing challenges. 

In-person writing groups

In-person writing groups meet at a dedicated time and place, like a local coffee shop, library, or someone's home. I host a writing group at my local pub on one of their quieter afternoons, and there’s a handful of us who get together, exchange ideas, play writing games, provide real-time feedback, and just generally share our work in the spirit of improving our craft. 

The value of personal contact can't be underestimated, as it does allow for more nuanced discussions about works in progress and provides a structure that many writers, myself included, find beneficial.

Critique groups

Critique groups, as the name suggests, focus primarily on providing constructive feedback on members' work. These groups are all about sharing drafts and receiving detailed criticism about your writing — anything from accuracy to style and accessibility.

Peer critiques can offer a variety of perspectives on your writing. It’s a great way to find plot holes, character inconsistencies, or stylistic improvements that you might have overlooked early on. Furthermore, by critiquing others' work, you learn to sharpen your own editing skills and gain fresh insights into the writing process.

Writing retreats

Writing retreats are designed to provide writers with a break from their everyday environment and immerse them in a space dedicated to their writing. These retreats can range from weekend getaways to month-long residencies and are often situated in inspiring locations, from country houses to beachfront cabins.

The tranquil and focused atmosphere of a retreat is designed to spark creativity and reduce distractions, allowing writers to concentrate solely on their craft.

Online writing communities

Not everyone lives near other writers or is comfortable seeking out strangers in person. Online writing communities offer a digital space for writers to interact and learn from each other, extending the possibility of collaboration regardless of geographical location.

Platforms like Reddit, Discord, and the NaNoWriMo forums are popular for hosting vibrant writing communities, providing a dynamically interactive space that keeps writers connected, inspired, and motivated in their writing journey, even if they can’t be with other writers in person.

Social media

Social media channels offer various ways for writers to connect, exchange ideas, and foster communities. On Twitter and Tumblr, writers can follow trending hashtags like #writingcommunity, #amwriting, #writeblr, #writingtips, or #NaNoWriMo to engage in conversations, share inspiration, or get advice. TikTok has also recently emerged as another hub for writers, with the #BookTok and #WritingTok trends really taking off. 

To sum up

Writing communities come in many forms and serve different purposes, but each offers unique benefits to support and enrich your writing journey. They provide the encouragement, accountability, feedback, and camaraderie needed to navigate the often solitary path of writing. It may be your journey, but you don’t have to take it alone.

As you seek to join or create a writing community, consider what you want from the experience and explore various options that align with your needs, preferences, and schedule. Remember, writing doesn't have to be a lonely endeavour. In the company of fellow writers, the journey becomes a shared experience, making the process less daunting and far more rewarding. Happy writing!

Novlr is free to use. However, for those who need the extra bits, there’s a 40% discount on Novlr Pro for 12 months for NaNoWriMo writers. Simply add the NANO23 coupon code when subscribing at Novlr.org. Offer expires December 31st, 2023.

Pamela Koehne-Drube is all about building creative writing communities where imagination thrives and writers achieve their goals. As a professional ghostwriter and editor, Pamela has first-hand experience in the book trade, from supporting fledgeling writers all the way through to working with the Big Five publishers. She’s an expert on all things writing. In her role as Writer Development & Community Lead at Novlr, you'll find her organising challenges and chatting about writing in Novlr’s Discord and building a repository of amazing writing, editing, publishing, and marketing resources for the Reading Room.

Top photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash.

[barkly-523]

About Dutch van der Linde

Hello tumblr rdr space! I do not go here, but I post on tiktok sometimes and have a dear buddy of mine who ive been talking to about some posts on here!

I will post a proper introduction at a later date, but for now I would like to put my own two cents in on some stuff ive been seeing recently, about Dutch.

Dutch is an incredibly COMPLEX character, and I feel that some people really horrifically miss that point sometimes. whether it be "Oh, he bonked his head!" or "Oh, this man is a monster!" both points are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I believe they greatly miss the overarching theme of his character and who he is, and was, as a person. To merely dismiss all of his actions by saying "oh, hes just a monster, abuser, groomer, thats why hes the way that he is" shows nothing above a surface level understanding of his character, nor the characters of the people around him and those who choose to work with him. These characters were designed to have depth, to be studied, and understood on a deeper level. Why take such a basic explanation? I am not here to say Dutch is not without flaws (because he has alot of those), but I AM here to say that calling dutch a "groomer" or some sort of "cult leader, master manipulator" is just, factually incorrect.

Firstly, with the grooming point. This is an incredibly stigmatized word nowadays, so its crazy to use in general here, but by no means were people "groomed" into being outlaws. These people had flaws of their own, took bad paths, and ended up crossing paths with Dutch. Why did they cross paths with him? Well, I went through every "how they joined the gang" story I could find, and its about a 50/50 split between they tried to rob or kill dutch, Or that they were on the run and dutch gave them a safe place to stay, with some exceptions. The odds of these people bumping into someone far worse, in all cases, are exceptional. Most of the gang were in bad places when dutch found them, and they were getting desperate. Its incredibly possible they wouldve bumped into someone who wouldve killed them instead. John was saved from being hanged. Had Dutch and Hosea not been there, he wouldve died. Arthur outright says "dutch saved me, saved most of us." and although things did not turn out right at the end of the day, to believe that dutch was nothing more than a power-hungry manipulator is shown to be incorrect in the media itself. Colm exists. Hes literally right there. An antagonist who; doesnt know the names of the men in his gang, is shown to hit Kieran, who cares more for numbers than connection. Their feud goes back YEARS, and it all seems to stem from a fatal disagreement about how things were being run. When they split paths, Dutch keeps a tight knit gang of people who he considers family, Colm continues to grow his gang in numbers. At the very start of the game, dutch makes it clear that hed prefer the gang doesnt split up, that they stick together so *he can be sure everyone is okay.* He shows sympathy for Sadies situation, and takes her in to help her. Not once is it stated shes obligated to be there, in fact, its stated that she can stay as long as she needs to, to get back on her feet. She has the final say on whether she stays in the gang or not. The reason so many people stayed in the gang until it was actively collapsing, is not because dutch was forcing them to stay. They saw him as family just as he saw them.

Its why his character arc is so interesting. Its why watching his downfall is impactful. he ISNT a bad man, he does bad things out of desperation towards the end of the game, just as other gang members did in the very beginning. Dutch had bad tendencies, but he had people there to help him stay on the right track. His beliefs were good, its why he had people who stuck with him. They believed in what he taught. He had incredibly intelligent people in his gang, I'll use Lenny and Hosea as my examples for now. Lenny was taught by his father to judge peoples character, and even if his time with the gang was short he absolutely wouldve picked up on dutchs behavior if he was hiding behind some sort of mask. and HOSEA, has been with the dude for 20 YEARS. You cannot fake something for that long, and hosea is far from stupid aswell. He is a conman by nature. If dutch was trying to con everyone, surely he wouldve noticed. Arthur still regards dutch incredibly highly for a good majority of the game. He sees the man as a mentor and is clearly deeply affected watching dutch spiral and do bad things as the game goes on. At the beginning, when told Dutch had shot a girl on the blackwater job, his first response is to say that it "doesnt sound like him". Dutch is shown to have remorse for his actions, although he chooses to rarely talk about blackwater, and avoids the subject when its brought up, he explains to hosea, with shame, that he "really messed up" in blackwater. Micah had egged dutch on (as stated by John in a camp interaction) and dutch is shown to be regretful, that job really put everything in motion, but I truly believe micahs manipulation is what changed dutch.

Micah fed into his impulsive side, and tried to reassure him when things went wrong. When Arthur was kidnapped by Colm, Micah explained that Arthur was the type to wander, and surely, theyd see him back at camp. Dutch, ONCE AGAIN, shows regret. He shouldnt have put Arthur in such a position, and knows it. Dutch has impulsive tendencies, he has paranoid thoughts. This is shown in multiple camp interactions and even stated in one of the games first journal entries about the land they were going to settle on before the ferry job. To simply blow off all the depth of his character by saying "oh, hes bad" is so,, lame? Why focus on dutch specifically to say he did all of these bad things on his own accord when micah is, right there. Dutch literally goes crawling back to him in the epilogue. Partly for revenge, since seeing arthur on the cliffside was able to briefly break him out of the funk hed been in for the last few months (albeit far too late), but also partly because I dont think he knows how to be alone. I dont think he can handle it. Hosea and Arthur had been by his side the longest, and he had to watch both of them die. Late game conversations between dutch and arthur have always been fascinating to me, and even in Guarma dutch is still set on going back to keep the gang together. Thats his family, and he cannot lose them too. He outright states he'll do whatever it takes to make sure they survive. Arthur is startled by this, as dutch has been shown to be deadly and irrational, he isnt processing things well, and cannot handle the pressure on his shoulders, and it certainly doesnt help that Micah is in his ear telling him that Arthur and John are betraying him. He clearly doesnt want to believe it, but he cannot wrap his head around hoseas death, and assumes that the only way it couldve happened was if someone ratted, completely overlooking micah.

Dutch is not a smart man, and truthfully, he should have never been in a position of power, but he is not evil. He was desperate, and he was trying to keep his family together. Although I do not agree with the "Trolley Theory" for reasons stated above, I highly doubt him bashing his head like that helped with his mental state either. Dutch is desperate. Dutch does bad things, but he is far from a bad man. He helped the people in his gang, and although the found family turned sour in the end, they mattered to him, and it mattered to the gang. Dutch, CANONICALLY, was not always "bad" either. Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea robbed a bank, took what they needed, and gave the rest to the local orphanage. Dutch scolded Arthur for robbing someone who was "too poor" and said that doing that made them just as bad as the system they were fighting against, Dutch helped Hosea get on the right track and stopped him from stealing just about anything he could get his hands on. Dutch is a man who had good ideologies, and wanted to help people in his own way, but the pressures kept adding up and it broke him. Dutch, in RDR1, is a more objectively "bad" character, But look at how they fleshed him out in rdr2. Was the cliff scene nearly as impactful before the release of rdr2? absolutely not! Playing as john, we were thrown in with a baseline knowledge of their history, and now knowing the full story makes the cliff scene quite the harrowing experience if youre able to grasp the intricacies of dutchs character, to look at him as more than "just a villain".

This turned out to be far more ranty then I wanted, but I am so tired of seeing so much mischaracterization and demonization of a character with literally days worth of content to look at and study that shows some of the points I see from people to just be blatantly wrong. Lol

[mlbigbang2024]

Big Bang Etiquette: Tips for Writers & Artists Working Together

Sometimes it feels daunting to start talking to someone you don’t know on the other side of the world, particularly if you’re a little shy. Here are some tips to make your Big Bang experience fun and productive!

After all, it’s in everyone’s best interest to finish the fic and artwork. So we have tried to come with a handy guide. Hope this helps you!

For Writers:

1. Be Clear with Your Vision: Share your story ideas early. Let your artist know about key scenes or vibes that inspire your work.

REFERENCES, REFERENCES, REFERENCES: These are key to make sure that the artist understands what you are envisioning.

Pinterest boards can also be your friend.

Share your outline and your chapters as soon as possible so that the artist can start planning!

2. Respect Artistic Freedom: Trust your artist’s interpretation. Their unique perspective adds depth to your story.

Be Open to Surprises: Your artist may come up with ideas or visual elements you hadn't considered. Embrace their creativity as it often leads to a richer final product.

Constructive Criticism: If you’re unsatisfied with a piece, don’t be scared to speak up, but do so respectfully. Frame your feedback in a way that’s encouraging and helpful, like suggesting adjustments instead of outright rejections. 

3. Deadlines Matter: Stick to agreed timelines. Your artist is working around them too!

Plan Ahead: Keep track of all deadlines and set internal checkpoints to ensure progress is on track. If you anticipate delays, communicate early to find a solution together.

Be Reliable: Consistent and timely updates build trust and show your commitment to the partnership. If you meet your deadlines, your artist is more likely to do the same.

For Artists:

1. Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to seek clarification on characters, settings, or moods. A little detail can spark the perfect illustration.

Dig Deep: Ask about character motivations, the tone of scenes, or any specific visual details the writer envisions. Even small things like the color of a character’s eyes or the style of clothing can make a big difference.

2. Share Progress: Show sketches or drafts early on. Feedback from the writer can steer your work in the right direction.

Step-by-Step Updates: Share your progress in stages—initial sketches, line art, color blocking, etc. This allows the writer to give feedback at each step, preventing major overhauls later on.

Encourage Input: Invite the writer to share their thoughts openly. Remind them that it’s easier to make changes during the sketch phase than in the final stages.

3. Be Flexible: Sometimes the story evolves. Adapt if needed and stay open to adjustments.

Offer Solutions: If a requested change seems challenging, suggest alternatives that stay true to the writer’s vision but might be easier or more effective artistically.

4. Respect the Story: Your art enhances the writing. Keep the narrative in mind and aim to complement the writer’s vision.

Stay True: Your art should reflect the mood and style of the story. Whether it’s lighthearted, dark, whimsical, or intense, align your artistic choices with the writer’s narrative goals.

For Both:

Communicate Regularly: Check in often, even if it’s just to say everything's on track.

Be Considerate: Life happens. If something’s going off course, let your partner know ASAP.

Celebrate Each Other: Acknowledge each other’s efforts. This project is a team effort—cheers to collaboration!

Ways To Get Conversation Flowing:

1. Artist

Ask the writer what inspired the story or how they come up with ideas

Tell the author your favourite scenes. The creation process takes a long time, and some writers miss getting the in-flow of kudos and comments from Ao3 for motivation. During this phase, you are their source of motivation!

2. Writers:

Ask why the artist why they liked your idea.

Tell them about yourself, anything from the Timezone you are in to help with communication or to what inspires you.

If you have something big coming up, like a holiday or an exam, let your artist know. Who knows you might find out you have similar interests!

3. Both: 

Talk about anything and everything! Compare head canons, your favorite episodes, maybe even your favorite fics!

Provide regular updates! Ask for feedback. It doesn’t have to be a complete work. You’re just providing each other reassurances that there’s progress!

Remember this is more than an event, this is FANDOM! And we are here to have fun and make new friends! 

[obxone]

All In My Head (Part One)

Edited-ish. ~1.3k words.

“Rafe?” You call as you enter Tanneyhill, the front door being left unlocked, and the law littered with empty cans, bottles, and cups already confirms your suspicions. Rafe had a party last night to celebrate his newfound power as head of the Cameron estate. “Rafe? You here?!” You call louder as you wander through the main floor and enter the kitchen. You pause as your eyes land on a dark-haired girl in one of his t-shirts sitting at the breakfast bar. “Oh.”

“Hi!” She smiles before taking a bite of her yogurt. “Are you looking for Rafe?”

“Yes.”

She puts her spoon down before clasping her hands together on top of the counter. “He stepped out. Said he had some business to take care of.”

“Ah,” you muse, glancing around. The inside seemed untouched by the party. “Okay, well thanks.”

You turn to go, your mind putting the puzzle pieces together without him.

“Umm…” she stands quickly, and you turn back to look at her. “Rafe said he’ll be back in a bit. Do you want to leave a message?”

“Sure.” You nod and cross to grab the notepad that you know is in one of the kitchen drawers. You scribble down the note and fold it before passing it to her. “Thank you, that is very kind of you.”

“Sure!” She smiles, tucking it with her yogurt. “I’m Sofia.”

“Y/n.” You offer before leaving. You exhale, the sting of your new reality setting in for you as you close the front door. You look up to the sound of a bike pulling up the drive, and it is none other than Rafe.

The urge to stay and fight it out is there, but with his new arm candy present, it would be pointless, and you know it as you cross the lawn to your car.

“Hey!” His voice carries across the lawn, and you glance over to see him getting off his bike. His helmet is removed as those beautiful blue eyes track you across the lawn. “Hey! Y/n!”

“I have to go!” You call back as you unlock your car and get in. He is racing across the lawn to you. His long legs close the distance in a heartbeat, and his hand closes around the door before you can close it. “Let go, Rafe.”

“What are you doing here?” He asks, those blue eyes searching over your face for any indication of whether you know who is inside that house.

You school your features and shrug. “Came to check in, but no one answered.” You gesture to the closed glass door. The lie comes surprisingly smoothly from you. “I have to get to work, Rafe.”

He tips his head, but you keep your expression neutral.

“Umm… will you come back?”

“Sure,” you smile weakly. You would not, but Rafe did not need to know that. “I can come by once I get off.”

“Cool,” he smiles, sticking his hands in his pockets after he lets your door go. “We can talk about this. I miss you.”

“Sure, Rafe.”

“Okay,” he says and his smile brightens. “See you soon, Baby.”

“See you,” you whisper as you shut your car door and leave the driveway. The tears do not come until you are turning onto the main road through town. The sting of his betrayal magnifies with each sniffle as you wipe at your cheeks.

Without intending to, you pull up to the Chateau. You put the car in park and press your forehead to the steering wheel as you try to get your emotions under control. Rafe had cheated on you, and you would never be able to forgive him. You could not, not after everything you had watched your mom go through with her roster of ex-boyfriends.

A light tap of knuckles on your window has you lifting your head to see JJ staring at you. You frown and try to wipe at your cheeks again. A scowl etches across his face before he pulls the handle of your door and opens it before reaching for you.

“What happened, pretty girl?” He whispers, letting you sink into his arms as you cry. “What happened, huh?”

“Rafe… cheated,” you sniffle before glancing at the house. “Is anyone here?”

“Just us, come on,” he murmurs and guides you towards the house. You follow him inside and curl up in the depths of the dusty old couch while he busies getting you something to drink. He returns and passes you a glass of water. “Drink up.”

“Thanks, Jay,” you mumble before sipping some of the water. You exhale, dropping your head onto the arm of the couch. “It is that bartender, the one that works for the kooks. The pretty short-haired brunette.”

“Damn.”

“Yep.”

JJ paces, hands on his hips as he watches you. “Did you go see your mom?”

“Can’t find her,” you mumble, wiping at your cheeks again. “She likely has a new beau and is off with him somewhere.”

“Damn,” JJ mutters with a shake of his head.

“I know. I’m all alone.”

“No, you’re not.” He says, his tone carrying an edge to it. “You’ve got me and you’ve got the rest of the pogues.”

You sniffle, attempting a faint smile for him. “Two lost souls barely hanging on, huh?”

He smiles weakly. “That’s us, pretty girl.” He looks around quickly before grabbing a blanket for you. “Will you stay here? You can stay here and wait for the others, okay?”

You nod, chewing on your bottom lip for a second. “If you need to go, please go. I can stay here and wait for the others.”

“Okay,” he nods, scrubbing his hand through his blond locks. “I’ll be back, okay? I just promised John B I would help with something.”

“I’m good. We’ve got to save Uncle John, right?” You reassure him, and he goes out the door. The screen door slams, and you hear his dirt bike until it fades out as he leaves you behind.

Crying yourself to sleep had not been the plan, but you wake to Rafe kneeling in front of you. His worried expression makes your heart squeeze as he gently strokes his thumb over your tear-stained cheek.

“Hey, Baby.”

“Rafe?” You mumble and sit up, looking around in a panic. “What are you-?”

“I got your note,” he murmurs, his fingers moving down your neck. “'Thank you -y/n.’ That’s all I get?”

“I panicked.”

He looks away before clearing his throat. “Sofia is…”

“It’s okay, Rafe,” you shrug and look around. “I get it. We weren’t sure where we stood. I was silly to even think we could come back after everything that has happened.”

“No, no… don’t say that.”

Tears threaten again and you look down at your hands as you fidget with the frayed edge of the couch. “It’s true. We aren’t the crazy young lovebirds that felt like they could take on the world anymore. Those two people are long gone.”

“Baby,” he murmurs, moving closer. His hands wrap around yours and bring them to his lips, where he presses kisses across your knuckles. “No… I made a mistake, okay? I made a stupid mistake.”

You give him a sad smile as you pull your hands free. “I forgive your mistake, but I can’t do this anymore. You have to let me go.”

He looks away, and you can see the tears welling in his own eyes now.

“I love you, Rafe, but I can’t be with you anymore. It’s time, Baby. You have to let me go.”

He clears his throat and stands. His hand swipes over his face, wiping away the tears that threaten to well over. “Please don’t do this. I can’t lose you.”

“You already have.”

“No! Please, I can’t… I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I’ve already forgiven you,” you murmur, looking down at the frayed threads of the couch again. “You should go, the pogues will be here soon.”

He seems to snap out of whatever thought trail he is on at the mention of your friends. His shoulders straighten as he stares at you. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

He turns and goes without another protest, and the screen door slamming shut makes you flinch as silent tears flood your vision.

(Part Two)

[thebibliosphere]

Fellow adhd writer, how do I stick with a single topic and finish it? I could always manage my academic papers well enough but I’ve been trying to write fic for the last few years and can’t ever seem to finish one before another idea grabs me and I keep following one idea after the other

So, the way I manage that, is I often have more than one project going on at once. Being able to alternate between them provides my shiny crow brain with enough stimulation and variety to prevent me from getting bored.

I also keep a word document of "random thoughts that won't leave me tf alone," where I scribble things down to get the idea and impulse to follow it out of my head.

If I still can't stop thinking about it, I'll start planning it out. Devoting that level of attention to something will do one of two things for me. One, I'll have the outline for my next WIP done, or two, my brain will go, "aw, you want to make this into work?" and drop it like a hot potato.

To make progress on current projects, I set small daily goals. On average days, my minimum creative word count is 500.

Which, by the way, is often on par with the goal professional, award-winning writers set for themselves. Being able to write tens of thousands of words in a day sure is a thing some people are capable of (I am when I'm hyperfixating), but it's not sustainable, and you may be setting yourself up for burnout--especially if you try to maintain it longterm.

On bad days, I will reduce it to "okay, let's do a half hour and see how far I get." If I'm able to trap my attention, great. I'll keep going until I meet my goal.

If I can't, I accept that today is a low-attention day and acknowledge that I likely need more sleep, food, or stimulating recreation to give my brain both a rest and a boost. I do not consider these lost or failed days. They are all part of the productive, creative cycle and necessary. This is true whether you are NT or ND.

Body doubling can also be very helpful for those of us who work better with others present. I do body doubling with friends or people in my Discord sometimes. (Starting that up again soon, folks, just as soon as I get the okay to start working more from the eye doctor!) So if that sounds like something you'd enjoy, try asking friends if they'd like to set time aside to write together. Shared productivity can be beneficial for keeping ADHD and other flavors of ND on track.

If you lose all interest in a project. Shelve it and follow one of the other WIPS. Sometimes you need to be in a better place to work on certain things, and that's okay.

Some people thrive with a stricter structure than that, but this is what works for me. Small goals, allowing myself the time to follow diversions (while also trying to meet daily goals), and taking the time out to ensure I'm getting enough good stimulation in other ways. Took me a while in therapy to figure out a healthy work-life balance, but that's mine.

I hope that helps or provides a greater sense of solidarity.

[cinnamonic-thoughts]

@ crane wives and marauders fans:

The parallel between Tongues and Teeth

and Never Love An Anchor

feels so significant when applied to the Black brothers' situation. Both Sirius and Regulus came out of their ancestral home with the feeling that everything they touched would rot just because of the exposure to their darkness, approaching relationships the same way. That's the same mindset that the singers of both Tongues And Teeth and Never Love An Anchor possess.

The singer of Tongues And Teeth goes into detail about what they think will happen with their potential lover with them from the start, warning them of the danger of just Existing near them. The song is from the present tense of the situation, as they're in the middle of making the decision to give in to indulgence. They jump into things, impulsively and headfirst. They can't hold back, even though they know the consequences. If it's okay with their new lover, it's okay with them.

Meanwhile, in Never Love An Anchor, the singer talks about the situation from far in the future, if they had instead decided to stay away. If the singer had never given in to the temptation, and had let their "rotting" mindset keep them on that track. It talks about the grief you feel over the knowledge that loving you only brings awful things, and that staying away is the kindest thing to do even though it hurts so much. The situation is long over, and the singer is left wondering if they're hated, or even remembered.

Tongues and Teeth is written about the same kind of experience that Sirius has in every goddamn Wolfstar fic, and there are so many unrequited and avoiding love Regulus Black fics that Never Love An Anchor feels like an obvious fit, especially with Jegulus. Tongues and Teeth represents Sirius in that he lives his Life like this song. He can't hold back how much he wants and feels, so he talks back to his parents, gets sorted into the house his parents absolutely Hated, he constantly verbalizes his hatred for his family and all of the darkness they represent, I could go on and on. At the same time, he feels that he is stained by that same darkness and that he can't ever escape its presence in the lives of those he loves. He just doesn't want to have to hold everything back, so, just like the song, "if you're fine with that, can be mine like that," he'd want to have it like That. Him and Remus are so often characterized in fanon as being so magnetic to each other, causing them to clash just as often as they come together. They think they'll ruin each other because of the darkness they possess, but Sirius especially tends to put Remus on a pedestal of goodness, like the singer does to their potential lover.

Regulus Black's name is somewhat synonymous with tragedy in fanon. Whether it's the "no beta we die like regulus black in the cave" tags for shock value, the black brothers angst in everything from major fics to tiny headcanons, or the unrequited love for either James or Barty that permeates most Regulus Black media, he's a character that doesn't ever really get a break. Never Love An Anchor and the grief it represents feels relevant to him when the subject is Sirius or James, but I'll stick to James (keeping it romantic with the Wolfstar/Tongues and Teeth comparison). I'm a Choices coward (couldn't make myself finish it, I got too sad), but the "person on the dark side can't leave it but can't stop loving someone they have to protect from it" trope is still pretty common amongst Jegulus fics. Whether or not the love is requited, it doesn't change the mentality that Regulus always uses to approach it. "I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel." His darkness is the reason he never lets himself get close. In the cases where he does get close, he cuts it off to avoid inevitably hurting the one he loves, the epitome of Light and happiness that he thinks he doesn't deserve, James Potter. Honestly, thinking about the two of them while listening to the last bit in the lyrics (scroll back up to read) is a painful experience but it just fits so well.

I think both songs apply to their respective Black brothers very well individually, but it's also such a good comparison to see how their upbringing affected them. Sirius was always the impulsive, headstrong one so Regulus wouldn't have to be, and this is a direct result. They have the same beliefs about themselves but it manifests so differently because of how their environment shaped them.

I've been having brainrot about these two songs and how they relate to the Black Brothers for over a month at this point, so I hope somebody else appreciates how much I've thought about this thank you <333