#where the fuck are my tags ugh
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all of these arcane s2 teasers feel so overwhelming after having a content drought for like 3 years lmao
#i cant sleep fuck me lmao#my brain is half functioning at this point lmfaoook#its very fun but also im not used to it anymore lmao i remember the olden fandom days where it was weekly content#it feels like a giant wave of content for like 3 months in this streaming era now lol#ugh i need to sleep#night arcaneblr#personal tag
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She wails as though a part of her has died.
oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days
there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy
#theres already PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs in my partners dms over this freaking thing but like listen to me (jingle jingle) PAY ATTENTION#i feel like i have to add that visual novels arent really something i take interest in at all this one jus JUMPED me#i actually played the side piece (our cinderella) first + was so in love with the writing i went to check out the main story. worth it#and i DEFINITELY won't be able to fit everything i want to say in the tags but its so refreshing to read/play thru a novel where the protag#are regular ass adults. like middle class thirty year olds barely breaking even. and that still get sappy unapologetically.#need more stories like this fr#that aside it's been fucking crazy to look at iggy's character arc through his eyes considering yk.. everything.#theres no universal asexual experience or anything but sometimes there'd be a line in there that made me like. sit up and go damn what the#i did that. i do that.#it's. i cant explain it in depth in the tags its about the way topics are skirted around and the realization that something is#uncomfortable in a way you werent expecting it to be. or even on your radar. theres so much#ugh. im unwell. anyways.#dewdles#our wonderland#gidget bordelle#iggy maxwell#genzou#genzou ichihara#cecil- does cecil have a last name??? cecil.#blood#injury#ask to tag
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i hate doing this but long story short, my last job stiffed me on my paycheck so i have a whole month of bills that have gone unpaid.
anything helps but i specifically need ~$50 by the 24th or else my car insurance policy cancels.
i have adopts in my ko-fi shop, but if u just want to be kind u can donate to my ko-fi ;w;
im also open to doodling for donations so if u want a doodle lmk as well
(if ur feeling super generous i also need $400 for rent.
doordash has been slow lately and ive used all the adoptables money so far for rent, but every single day is another $10 late fee. i got it down to just 300 but its back up to 400 now because of late fees.)
#adding more info in the tags:#i filed a wage claim with the dwd. legally my old workplace has til the 27th to pay me bc in wisconsin employers must pay their employees#at least once every 31 days#i start my new job on friday. but yall know u dont get paid immediately :/#i also owe rent and electric and internet and phone bills and such#so probably upward of $1000 that i would need for Everything.#but thats a rly high goal and i hate asking for money#late fees are sooo fucking evil dude.#and then i owe 400 for the phone bill and idfk where ill get that#plus all the debt i already owe....ugh.....
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it's so fuckin funny to me that one of the devs was like "oh the combat in veilguard will be ACTUALLY FUN" like... bitch i LIKED the combat in origins and 2! it was actually fun for me! the issue was that you fucking CHANGED it for inquisition, and now you're changing it again! it doesn't even feel like dragon age combat anymore! what is wrong with you
#origins was my favorite but da2 combat was still like... tolerable at least#and i still managed to enjoy it y'know#but inquisition completely dumbed down tactics to a point where i couldn't actually effectively strategise#and i fucking hate how they handled the mage skill trees#ik archery was better in 2 and inquisition than it was in origins but like#they could definitely have improved archery without taking away from the mage abilities!#“oh yeah let's completely remove the entropy/spirit/healing trees and expect everyone to be fine with it” please just go die in a hole rn#origins skill trees were my fucking favorite they were so versatile while still being well-organised and the mage abilities were the GOAT#ik some people didn't like origins combat but i think for veilguard bioware could've made like#a standard mode and an advanced mode for tactics and by default it would be set to standard but for those of us who like tactics#we could like go in and toggle the advanced mode and it would be completely separate from the difficulty settings so that if we just want t#have more control over the tactics we totally could. y'know. instead of bioware comepletely overcomplicating the combat#but then only giving us THREE (3) FUCKING SKILLS TO HAVE EQUIPPED AT ANY GIVEN TIME LIKE THE FUCKING DUMBASSES THEY ARE.#LIKE THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF VEILGUARD COMBAT HAS STRAYED SO FAR FROM DRAGON AGE COMBAT IN THE FIRST PLACE. UGH.#oh yeah that's right i got carried away but i do still need to tag this as dragon age lol#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#datv
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Some more Crackle :)
#art#yep#arty art#making this page made me a lil sad at myself but. ugh whatever y’know?#finals are kicking my ass#crackle flame#Elijah#dnd oc#Eli is based on a real friend that I have had since ‘choldhood’ so to speak#I traveled too much to actually keep my childhood friends#but anyways some minor explanations of Crackle and who they are for me#they’re the slightly cooler more in line with future dreams of myself - my ideal#so they are me yes but only one part (hence the aspect part)#the aspects#<- that’s where this tag comes from (it also includes any other drawing of ‘me’ or other sonas)#also too sweet is a fucking banger#anywho#ocs#digital doodle#digital sketch#colored sketch#sona#sona art#yuh
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no okay i gotta rant. the changes Tumblr is making / is going to make Fucking Suck! they do! they clutter the site, fuck up perfectly fine button placements and such, and just mess with stuff that wasnt broken to begin with but certainly is now!
and the shit with like... collapsible reblog chains... all because they want to cater to people joining Tumblr from other sites. like??? excuse me?? they're coming to Our House. you dont completely remodel your home just because a new roommate is moving in. newcomers adapt. the site shouldn't unless it's to improve. absolutely fucking ridiculous.
i really dont wanna lose this site, its the only one i can handle using and i actively Enjoy using it because its unique. @staff please for the love of everything Leave It Be. let newcomers adjust and learn how to use our site as is. if yall kill tumblr for such a bs reason...
#of this site actually tanks like. what the fuck would i do lmfao#cant stand twitter. cant stand instagram. there arent really any good reliable alternatives#cant exactly do discord cause im shit at group chats. they intimidate the fuck outta me#tumblr is my safe place. my getaway. its one of my only sources of happiness as pathetic as that sounds#but they seem hellbent on fucking it over#all the little changes and the constant just... ugh#like why did they change where the tag button is??? it was fine where it was???#NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE. ITS UPSETTING EVERY TIME#fix the shit thats actually broken instead of ruining what was perfectly fine#i like the site's simplicity. i like the uniqueness of it. please leave us be#please resist... desist... cut it the fuck out... other synonyms#absolutely unprompted#tumblr update
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Clip used is old atp but I wanna share this. Because I didn't share it before ????? anyways Stress is one ofmy favorite songs fuuuck
#artings#funnies.png#jarl night funkin#undescribed#me#fnf#friday night funkin#not bothering to tag beyond that im gna be real#IM SO CLOSE TO BEING ABLE TO PERFECT STRESS ITS FUCKING INSANE#ugh too theres just one part in ugh that i always fuckn. flop at but i havent played a lot of ugh recently i miiight be able to get it soon#stress i think i can read for the most part it just also has this part in the chart where my brain 😦 yarknow but the grind persists
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If I had a nickel for every time I shipped a sad, self-destructive alcoholic with a dry-witted no-nonsense lieutenant with a gun want to dismantle the militant non-democratic government they work for set it fantasy Europe... I'd have two nickles but it's weird it happened twice
#also theres a scene where one of them holds the other while they bleed out#and one of them is a fantasy East Asian guy who grew up mostly without his parents#the lieutenant is often misinterpreted as cold/mean/emotionless by fans but actually cares deeply despite trying to hide their emotions...#im onto something here....#disco elysium#harrykim#fullmetal alchemist#royai#history repeats itself#time is a fucking circle#also roy is bisexual because I say so. him and harry can be fucked up bisexual cringefail guys together <3#riza and kim would absolutely be friends... I can see it so clearly#this is such a specific post idk if it resonantes with anyone else but LOOK#I HAVE THOUGHTS#ugh its so long since ive had to use all of the fma tags on my posts.....#fma#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#OH ALSO#the fantasy asian guy has a silly little moustache at some point <3
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You know my life loves to orbit around inconveniences and I think it would be so funny if Veilguard was released on September 13th because that’s my brother’s wedding which I’m being forced to go to (I don’t like my brother and have no desire to go)
#I’m in the middle of my 20s my mother is still forcing me to do shit wow that’s kind of sad of me#ugh I just wanna know when it comes out#I also don’t want it on the third of September because that’s when I have to fly back to the states never to return to where I am now#September still count as summer doesn’t it???#Ideally for me it’s August 21st but that’s a month away and there’s no way they’re doing that#The 21st is also the 10 year anniversary of Inquisition#Which would be fun#ugh this sucks I wanted it to be before I have to move back in with other people#Selfishly I wanted after October 24th because that’s what my Visa expires#Even though I’ll already be in the states for several months at that point#it would make the move hurt less#sorry guys I’m rambling I’m sad right now#I really don’t want move back#Like it was rainy all day here and it was wonderful#You know what the weather was like in California? Over 100 fucking degrees fahrenheit#I’m going to be miserable#sorry sorry!! thank you if you read these tags
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THIS IS HUMANITIES 11TH HOUR I THINK KIAN WAS RIGHT. THERE WAS SO MUCH HE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER BUT HE DID IT FOR GREAT REASON. THEIR RELATIONSHIP MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. EVEN THE ECHO OF SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND THE ECHO OF YOU LOVES THEM TOO. they COPIED A HUMAN DOWN TO THEIR BASIC CIRCUTRY AS A SURVIVAL INSTINCT AND THE VERY WIRES STILL LOVE YOU. ITS THE ATMOSPHERE. ITS THE DISCORDANT AND SAD YET YEARNING CORDS IN THE AIR AS THE SKY REDDENS. ITS A WISH FOR SOMETHING MORE, PRESSING AGAINST INEVITABLE GLASS, CLEARLY NO HOPE OF CONTINUING OR BLOSSOMING. A PAINTING OF A MEMORY THEY WANT TO BE MAKING WITH NO CONCLUSION.
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi blood in the bayou#jrwi bitb spoilers#jrwi bitb#jrwi fanart#AAUAUGHGHUHHGHH SO IM RELISTENING TO THE THIRD EPISODE RIGHT. THATS WHAT THIS PAGE WAS DRAWN FROM.#AND IM AT THE PART WHERE. YKNOW. THEYRE ON THE SEXY MOTORCYCLE AND GOING TO THE TREE. THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH. FUCK YOUUUU IM WEEPING#ALSO I MIGHT ASWELL SAY HERE. i remember listenign to the first episode at midnight. i was heading to sleep bc i had work in the morning#and i remember hearing rolan n im like awww hes such a babyyyy lil baby giiirrrl#and then i saw his official art the next day n i was like. no WAY thats rolan he looks way too cool and chill in that.#AND THEN. and tTHEEHHEHEEENNN HE GOES AND DOES. WELL. YKNOW. N IM LIKE DAAAAAMAMNNN HELLO SIR!!!! FUCK IT UP MAN!!!! YEAHAHAHA I LOVE HIM!!#OHHH and yknow what lemme say some shit about RAND!!!!!!!! 'i love you man' 'i promise i love you man' HE CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS SO FUCKIN#AAUUUHHHH RAAAANNNDDDD HE WAS SO READY TO DIE. HE WAS PLANING TO DIE. UGH.#ALSO I STILL LISTENING N I JUST GOT TO THE PART WITH KIANS SONG TO BECKY. SOBBING SOBBING WEEPING IM SO EMOTIONAL ABT THEM#RUN AWAAAYYYY OOUHHOOOOO JUST TAKE MY HAND AND RUNN AWAAYYYYY EHEEEM HEEM WILL BOY YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING!!! U SHOULD BE RUNNING!!!!#HEY hey cmere. cmere n listen. im workin ona lil music video. right. been chippin away at it for the last few months#its supposed to go along with tha song 'am i in heaven' by king gizzard n the lizard wizard#go find it. go listen to it. see my vision.#HEY HEY IF U REBLOG THIS. RAMBLE ABOUT BITB N SHIT IN THE TAGS PLEASE I NDEED TO HEAR OTHER THOUGHTS. GIVE ME UR BRAIN#ALSO JUST GOT TO THE KISS SCENE BTW. ITS SOO FUNNY TO HEAR BEBO FREAKING OUT LIKE NOOOOO NNOONONO N MAKING SOUNDS. HES RIGHT#'do you want me to take anything off?' DSHUT UUPP BECKY I LOVE YOU. WHATEVER.#OKAY okay im nirmal now (lying) imm gonna go cry. alot. hope u do too. pls enjoy myart
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not to sound like a cunt but i swear like 2 jokes about something will get passed around and then a load of dipshits will start twisting that everyone is so Utterly Vacuous... god forbid if every post you post to your tumblr blog is not an indepth reflection of your thoughts and feelings. for your tumblr blog is reflective of your Inner mind and soul and you must summon yourself to the Calling of crafting the most perfect and eloquent analysis of the video essay that dropped 2 fucking days ago .
#egg.txt#this is about the hbomberguy shit soirry lol#like i see one or two jokes abt haha he took them out )#and then suddenly its like: THE WHOLE CONVERSATION IS JUST ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MISSED THE POINT#DUDE its like a 2-3 ppl on tumblr who made joke posts that got traction#not to mention yes: ive seen MANY ppl posting abt how sad and unfortunate this all is#but those posts arent gonna get traction bc theyre quiet fuckin reflections on a topic for now#as such yeah bro the tag is dominated by jokes that really arent that serious.#idk ugh sorry to be such a twist im just soooo sick of the vibe everyone brings of like:#i see lighthearted jokes in this tag. HOW DARE YOU ALL DO THIS. YOU ARE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID AND YOU TAKE NOTHING SERIOUS.#like yes its a serious topic but again .... TWO GOD DAMN DAYS AFTER THE VIDEO DROPPED NO LESS... the thing thats gonna ALWAYS float to the#top of a tag is quick jokes.#and besides its like if you WANT to have those conversations thats great??? like cultivate them bro??#WHY not cultivate them instead of dominating the conversation with how stupid everyone is and how above them you are?#idk man its not just abt this#its abt sooooo much with the fuckn culture some ppl foster on this website#its the exact same with sillier shit like media#where some ppl think that u reblogging jokes abt a show / sth is like THE ONLY THOUGHTS YOU HAVE ON SOMETHING#blah blah blah you have such a superficial opinion of the characters and so forth#like relax. i just prefer to have discussions abt things not on my blog#jesus wept some ppl are desperate to think everyone is stupid
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It's been well over a week now (maybe two??) but I'm still plugging away (ever-so-slowly) at this vignette about Zara and Rook. Zara's POV is a lot of fun to write, now that I have a better sense of her character. Writing this has really solidified in my mind the kind of person she is and how she acted when she was Rook's captain and mentor. She's very calm and collected in comparison to Rook, even when under a lot of stress.
Anyways, have a little snippet that I'm proud of from today, featuring the origins of the coin trick!
Pacing back and forth across her cabin floor, she rolled the coin back and forth over her knuckles again and again. The motion was easy, almost mindless, more muscle memory than real intent. The coin trick had been her favorite way to soothe her nerves for years now. She’d picked it up out of idle curiosity after watching a street performer dining in a tavern in Bon Largo, who had chatted with her for over an hour as she fretted about something mundane, never once dropping the coin from their fingers. The same performer had later tried to steal her coin purse and ended up with nothing but a new scar for their trouble, but Zara had learned two important things from the encounter: Not to trust a warm smile and a pretty face, and that keeping her hands moving kept her mind from dwelling too much on worrisome things.
one-time tagging @space-writes because they commented on my tags about Rook learning the coin trick from Zara in one of my other snippets from this piece.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd#dnd writing#oc: Zara#<- I guess she gets a tag now#dnd vignettes#morrigan plays dnd#ngl this vignette is the first thing that I've written in MONTHS that wasn't the product of a single session of manic typing.#so I'm very very proud of myself for that.#it's currently 4001 words long which is a decent chunk!! And there's parts at the beginning that I skipped over at the time but want to go#back and add to at some point.#plus I'm still not at the end of it yet.#there's more I want to get to.#but anyways: I wrote 231 words tonight and I would have written more if not for the DM of Rook's game finally replying to my messages.#who know maybe I'll still write some more before I go to bed. though I probably shouldn't.#the street performer annecdote was probably 20+ years ago now... probably close to the same time she got her tattoo.#(yes Zara has a tattoo. It was an impulse decision when she was young and she regrets it now. Her crew doesn't even know it exists.#it's of a mermaid sitting in a clamshell and it's on her thigh. Very much a stereotypical silly sailor thing that she got without thinking.#She definitely regrets it and wishes it were gone. But thanks to magic ink that never fades it still looks brand new. So... RIP.)#don't ask me why I know so much about Zara. The funny thing is that I don't even know her backstory. The DM is keeping it from me until we#get to the town where she is. That she somehow became the mayor of????? All I know is that she has some kind of history with Wolf.#from well before Rook ever joined her crew. And that Wolf took Rook to get back at her for it. Whatever it is.#and I have no idea how the fuck a former pirate captain became mayor of a port town lmao. In some ways it makes sense in others it doesn't.#I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.#ugh I don't wanna wait though. I've been waiting to meet Zara ever since I made Rook's character over a year and a half ago.#patience Morri. Patience.
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man growing up without any privacy is a fucking trip what do you mean i'm scared my mom found my imagine dragons CD it's imagine dragons for fuck's sake why would i get in trouble for that
#i want to buy a bunch more cds too#but if my mom looks too closely at my music i think i'll die#since she has a history of being weird about it#okay sorry i discovered my chemical romance when i was twelve#it was a decade ago#am i allowed to listen to sad songs now#or songs where they say “fuck”#any time i want to buy something i evaluate in my head if it's okay for me to have first#the way i triple thought before buying mayday parade merch when i went to their concert#because of fear#and it's more than just music#i chat on discord so she never finds my messages#exclusively use it on incognito so i can close out at a moment's notice#because she went through my text messages#i don't keep a diary because she'd read it behind my back#i hide my sketchbooks because despite being a medical student i worry she will be weird if i know too much anatomy#she was weird abt me not drawing a shirt on a bust drawing#that didnt even include shoulders#like jeez#anyway#sorry for venting in the tags lmao#sometimes i forget that people actually read my posts#and im not just existing here lmao#erm close your eyes im fine#i really want more cds tho#sour#collide with the sky#scoring the end of the world#folklore#ugh just so many
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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Hey this just in? Ptsd sucks balls
#Oversharing on the internet times#Ptsd#-10/10 don't recommend#Ugh#Need my brain scrubbed and shaken out#I would like a new one please and thank you#I promise I won't let this new one be tortured I'll be extra careful#Love how my subconscious has decided that I'm just the worst person on earth all my dreams lately are like#Hey what if you were monstrous? What I'd you personally committed horrific acts against other human beings?#Let's explore that reality in hd#These aren't even the fun nightmares where I can convince myself I'm not seconds from throwing up they were so bad and can decode them#And do dream work with them#Those nightmares always end up having really cool symbolism and are helpful in deeply deeply meaningful ways#I am willing to suffer those nightmares I have made my peace with them it's like a game almost#These ones just shake me up for fucking days and become a never ending spiraling cycle ugh ugh ugh#It's like my intrusive thoughts were made I to a TV show fuck#Me: slightly rude to my gf#My brain: what if you were the same level as evil as rapist#Me: great I'm going to throw up and claw my skin off and have a panic attack thank you brain that was super fucking helpful#The way that my brain is convinced that I'm evil actually is sure is....#Well. It. It seems like my brain learned to abuse myself that it's doing the work of my torturer for her ten years down the line#Mm. Hate that thought a lot actually going#....I was actually going to keep these tags fairly short I wanted this post to be a vague haha ptsd sure is something post and not#Spill my guts in the tags again but what else is new have done this for years so whatever
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i was talking to my therapist last week about how i'm kinda excited but also equally apprehensive about starting grad school this fall because yes, i so so desperately needed a gap year otherwise i think i literally would have killed myself and/or had a breakdown big enough to land me in the hospital, and even beyond that i just needed to figure out a more concrete plan of what i'm going to do with my life in general -- while all of that is true, and i'm glad i took the gap year for it, i'm also apprehensive because i genuinely feel like an entirely different person than i was even at this exact point in time last year, nevermind anything earlier than that. it's only been a single year of me being out of school but my life has changed so dramatically, mostly for the better, and my whole personality has flipped on its head, it's just going to be so fucking weird going back to the same school, the same campus, potentially seeing my old friends around. augh
#sorry i was trying to find a post in my music tag in my archive and i scrolled so far back i got all the way to april 2023#where i referenced sitting in a dining hall#and its like. DINING HALL ?!?!?!#im going to be sitting in the fucking dining hall again in just like four months. UGH#brot posts#it's almost similar to the separation between high school and college. where i feel like hs me was completely different than college me#and now only a mere year later i feel like. post-undergrad me is completely different than undergrad me#although now that separation is exacerbated by how short a time it was and just HOW drastic a change it was#like . a bitch goes on antidepressants suddenly theyre a whole new person.#like im lowkey excited to see my old classmates and friends again#but i also am dreading it bc like hi. hey. i have the same name and face as the person you knew but i'm someone else now. sorry#and also just the persistent fear that i'm going to regress or at least even just /feel/ like im regressing#just by being back in that environment again?#even if i'll be on meds this time and actually going to therapy and overall having so much more support than i did in the past#so as nostalgic as i am to be on campus again it's also like. hard to separate the present from the past#like despite it all. this bathroom was still the very same place i went to have a mental breakdown weekly#this bench outdoors was the place i sat by myself to eat lunch in the blistering cold bc i couldnt eat indoors during covid 2020-2021#this bench indoors was where my friends had an intervention with me and forced me to call the on-campus mental health services#just . idk. feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and also being haunted by bad memories#oh the woes of going to grad school at the same place you got your undergrad. While mentally ill#but alas i need to save money by commuting and having instate tuition
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