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abundantchewtoys · 6 years ago

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HS Epi Meat, p5 reaction

Meat Page 5.

We might be due another perspective switch - unless the plot stays with John until he's assembled all his friends.

When John goes to pick up Rose, it’ll probably be on LOLAR. Terezi might still be there, if she hasn’t gone clownhunting just yet.

If so, perhaps we’ll get to see whether Rose ‘n Terezi’s migraine was really due to the substance abuse + caleidoscopic colours of LOLAR + glitches… Or whether it was due to the GO timeline “supposed to” have gone differently, with John’s current retcon being the thing missing to happen. It takes a bit of effort, remembering what everyone was exactly up to on this part of the GO timeline and what would be a fortunate time for John to take it off the rails. For Kanaya, that might very well be the moment Jane set up her literal shop on LOFAF, selling her all those blood potions, for instance.

For Dirk, it might be before his conversation with Arquiusprite.

I'm getting the feeling that John might be jumping to exactly those moments in the scenes where the characters were at their lowest, self-esteem wise. Giving them a literal second breath. ;)

Not sure what we can expect from the ghost side of things though. I think they might not be duplicated, leading us to meet up with (Vriska) as we knew her, punk cut and all. Even though GO Terezi's ghost will be there with her too.

I'm half convinced Calliope will get copied somehow, but not entirely sure. The only 'real' duplicate Calliope had already, besides Alt Calliope, was her dreamself. He could snatch the body, but I was under the impression Caliborn consumed it in a literal sense to establish his dominance over the body.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me to that Andrew Hussie (the author avator) will make a comeback, probably a background cameo. I've only now realized that he's a literal ghost writer of his own story right now, in-canon. While outside of canon, he’s more becoming like Stan Lee, executive producing stories using characters he designed.

Anyway, let's start this up.

---

"The stands of the Cantown Memorial Arena" Okay, my first thought was this takes place on the meteor, but yeah, it's a building named presumably after the literal Cantown WV build in his station, back on Earth. Or the Exile Town that Bec Noir massacred. Though, does this indicate a perspective switch back to Roxy... Or is the CMA where Rumble in the Pumpkin Patch is recorded? Probably the latter, meaning the perspective is switching back to Dave! Uh, the alpha version, I guess I should call him? Post-canon, adult Dave?

"His shit eating was so brutal that no one, except maybe Jake, cares that he’s taking a phone call in the middle of a live broadcast." So, was it staged, or did Jake really get a power boost, coming into his role as the Page?

Also, I feel like if Karkat's run for president gets announced by Dave on live television, "and the crowd goes wild" will apply here.

"Dave takes a seat on the couch, right in Karkat’s butt groove." Okay, so he's not going just yet. ... Karkat's butt groove is available because the latter absconded the fuck out last we saw him, hahah.

"a piece of absolute garbage." Callback secured.

"DAVE: while the beatdown you just received was as thorough as it was humiliating im afraid as usual the solution to this problem should probably not involve your decapitation" While Dirk might be the one to keep this beaten dead horse of an in-joke going, Dave isn't going to be the one to cut its head off and end its misery. :P

"DAVE: jake just kicked your ass DAVE: thats really all there is to say on the matter" AWWWWW yessss, hahahahah. Dirk's laid down, on the ground, on his smartphone, just like Dave was after his beatdown by Bro. Awesome callback.

"DAVE: its really amazing how this meme we have going here continues to be exactly as funny as the day it was established DIRK: Isn’t it always though? DAVE: yeah" That's Strider Irony at its finest for you. You never can be entirely sure non-sincerity is what's taking place here.

" DAVE: how DID you get your ass kicked so bad DAVE: jake sucks and his raps are fucking awful" Oh, scratch that thing about his power level, then. ... The rapbots didn't join in to beat Dirk down, did they? ... Though I would like to see either them or their zilly versions again. :P

On the TV, Dirk makes an elegant hand sign that once might have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but now has been utterly divorced from its cultural context here on Earth C." Is it a sign associated with... the ICP? Yes, I guess whatever 'references' the kids make get picked up as divine decree...

"The camera pans away from him and over the crowd. It zooms in on a young crocodile wearing an oversized T-shirt with Jake’s highly marketable ass plastered over it and the phrase “Tally ho” written in big bubble letters." ... including stuff that was already dated when the gods were still actual kids. (By which I mean the phrase, not Jake's marketable ass.)

"DIRK: Holding back a little to achieve certain results doesn’t necessarily mean you’re participating in a farce or rigging the event. DIRK: We do this all the time. We hold back our thoughts, our true feelings, our full potential. We disguise how much we know about what and when, for many purposes. To ease relations, to let others behave naturally and make up their minds without undue intervention. To wait for the right moments to show our hands, to pick our battles. " Dirk is still overthinking things. :P He's also still a schemer, even though he's grown more mature. I think in this case, he might be trying to keep up Jake's taste for adventure and hone his skills? That might be related to the fact that he's one of the few in the know of what John is up to (also a thing he's withholding right now), and he might be trying to get Jake battle-ready in case he needs to be. ... In case he doesn't believe they'll stay irrelevant to the plot.

"DAVE: my dog you are full of some SHIT today arent you DIRK: Absolutely." It's a good thing Dave can see Dirk typing, otherwise I might have asked whether Dirk may have reinstated an autoresponder to answer when he's busy. :P

"DIRK: And when it comes to theater, there are just as many reasons for restraint. To build tension. To set the stage. To give the people someone to root against." Okay, that's actually kind of meta. Also, in-story, it might mean Dirk is deliberately trying to come off as weaker, to get people to boo at Jake so he can play hero?

"DAVE: i can see you on tv DAVE: theyre booing you dude" Okay, never mind.

"The excitable salamander manning the camera switches to a fish-eye lens for some unfathomable reason, giving the whole exchange an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglasses distort and stretch to dominate the entire screen." I'm all here for NPC races doing menial labor half-way competently. :P Also, I feel like there should be some sort of visual callback to that image of Dirk's sunglasses. Something to do with the black hole from Problem Sleuth expanding to suck the entire universe up, which was reflected in the Stiller shades, and the event in itself is being called back to now, in the Black Hole sucking up the Furthest Ring!

"JAKE: What about the agitated rabble? Theyre starting to throw things. DIRK: I don’t know. Do a dance or something. Sing a song. DIRK: They love anything you do. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Ok sounds stupid but ill try." Using Jake's charisma as crowd control? Dirk, you beautiful mastermind.

"Jake tips an imaginary hat toward center stage and begins doing the Charleston." Hah, right, this might be a callback to that other Page dancing old-time dances, hahah, Tavros after he assembled the ghost army.

"Just as Dirk predicted, the crowd immediately loses its shit, except for a single carapacian in the front row, who continues to glower at Dirk with an expression of absolute and total contempt." If Jack hadn't remained in the session, I would've designated this guy as his great-whatever-grandchild.

"DAVE: why do you want people to hate you so much DAVE: its fucked up DIRK: You’re reading way too much into it." I don't necessarily believe that.

"DIRK: If I wanted another round of embarrassingly indulgent and mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I would have called my daughter instead. DAVE: hm DAVE: do i need to point out how fucking weird what you just said was or can that start going without saying at this point" This. This is Homestuck. This entire exchange.

" DIRK: The point is, playing myself up as a villain figure in this hacky rap pageant has nothing to do with getting people to dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good villain. When they boo, they don’t really mean it." That has me thinking of Thog, a villain from Order of the Stick, actually. But yeah, Caliborn, Condy and others were really good villains. Doesn't mean we didn't mean it when we cursed them, though.

"DIRK: I think you’d be surprised by how popular I actually am. DAVE: i dunno man" At some point, playing the villain stops being a role, if you're too thorough in antagonizing the crowd. Dirk may have gone overboard here - in his role in the pageant I mean, I don't think anyone loves their god any less. Just one more way to show that, victory state or not, their original issues still come into play and challenge them to grow.

"DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma. DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital. DAVE: political capital" ... Oooooh! Thinking three steps ahead of everyone again, nice going Dirk! I think Dirk might even have foreseen Dave rallying Karkat to stand against Jane, but I wonder which side he'll be choosing!

" DAVE: what the fuck are... DAVE: ok how long have you known about the jane thing DAVE: i mean is this something you have been planning for like DAVE: a long time or DIRK: Planning is such an intense word." Oh, he's trying to pull the strings again, is he? What game is he playing then, what policies does he want to instate, if any? ... Is Dirk a supposed xenophone too, or just playing to the tune of the largest group of swing voters?

" DAVE: jane is a shitty candidate dude DAVE: shes going to be so shitty DIRK: I thought you’d feel that way." ... Pfff I just realized Dirk wasn't typing, since this was a phone call. He's saying this all out loud! Typing's the old way of conversation, we discarded it for the most part, everyone has their Gift of Gab now. Well, hopefully at least Dave's part isn't being recorded and broadcast.

"DIRK: I respectfully disagree. DAVE: i get shes a good friend of yours and all but even you have to admit how far up her own ass she is DIRK: Of course. I consider it to be among her best qualifications for the job." Dirk might just be thinking: a self-absorbed candidate won't notice being pulled around. Even though she's, you know, his dear friend and all, he's still planning on manipulating her. :/ Old habits and such.

"DAVE: christ DAVE: ok if nothing else have you at least taken into account the DEVASTATION to the economy this will cause???" Strider Irony(tm).

"DIRK: Dave, I think if you search your soul, you’ll come to the same conclusion I have. Jane is just what this planet needs. DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition. DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place." Oh, cool, so Dirk was acting on the same things Dave noticed, just having drawn different conclusions. Guess there's more to playing god as a winner of Sburb than sitting on your butt all day long, huh?

"DAVE: i know that DAVE: which is why actually i think it would be cool to have a president that is good instead of bad DIRK: He’s not as great as you think. DAVE: what" See, I know Dirk'll say Karkat, but I kind of wish he'd say Obama. :P

"DAVE: who DAVE: obama?? DAVE: how dare you" XD PFFFFFffffhah, okay, should've seen that coming.

"DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly." Like, I understand where Dirk's coming from, we know how unbalanced Karkat is at his worst. But Dirk's seems to be the conservatist route, while the current status quo is so unbalanced someone with at least a little liberal thinking should try changing policy, little by little. ... Okay now Homestuck has me doing political discourse. Hussieeeeeeee! ... Why am I now picturing a Homestuck AU about the climate change truant student marches of Europe?

"DAVE: wait DAVE: how do you even know hes entering the race DAVE: we like just decided this DIRK: A competent political operative has his ways. DIRK: Besides, it was always pretty obvious to me you’d react this way the moment the announcement was made." Okay, not ruling out entirely Dirk has something spying on Dave, but that would verge too much on what Bro would've done in his place. He probably just cold-mindedly assessed his potential response.

"DAVE: cause if youve already got jake on your side then i guess we might as well just fucking quit DIRK: I wouldn’t worry about that. DIRK: He and I don’t quite have the rapport we once did. DIRK: He’s “over me” and doesn’t spare opportunities to make ostentatious demonstration of this claim. DAVE: um DIRK: Basically he doesn’t like being told what to do. Especially not by me." Cool, okay, so... Jake is needy in his own way, in showing he can fend for himself, at least that's how Dirk sees it. Guess they still hang out a lot though, just no longer "like that". That must be a letdown for the shippers, but a boon for the people that felt betrayed at seeing Dirk & Jake back together in the Credits. I like that middle road, actually! And hey, the versions of Jake & Dirk in the New Game Plus timeline, or whatever we should call it, are still fair game!

"DIRK: So it’s fair to say as of now, he’s still fully in play. DIRK: Not that I should be encouraging you, really. DAVE: you are one doubletalking son of a bitch you know that DAVE: i cant tell if you dont want us to run or are reverse psychology mindfucking us into running" Very true, that. Why would he share the truth about Jake if he wants to win, unless he wants fair competition? Best not to dwell on it too long on this neverending stairway of hidden intentions, lest we fall down it.

" DAVE: not like i can just stand around and wait for president crocker to like DAVE: write fucking grammar laws into the constitution" Pfffff, yes, I had forgotten about Jane's grammar practices, hahah. Guess she has a good running mate in Dirk for that, at least, capitalization and everything in order when he's not rapping.

"DIRK: Sorry to cut this short, but diapers are starting to come down pretty hard right now, and some of them haven’t even had their babies removed. DAVE: what" what. I hope it's at least consort babies, they're arguably the most resilient, as semi-sapient animals.

"DIRK: That was a joke." Ah.

"Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

There is something implacably magnificent about Dirk Strider, Jake thinks, untamed like a wild game beast of incredible size and strength." ... Well then! I didn't think the narration would offer us this view from the perspective of Jake, thought it would be reseverd for John! Not entirely sure how I feel about the privilege of seeing Jake pine for Dirk, though. :P At least it clarifies where the allure is in it, for him. It's an extension of his taste for adventure and his upbringing on an island full of terribly powerful beasts.

"Of course, their history together is never far from Jake’s mind, however many years it’s been since their last tussle of an amorous nature. The old dramas and triumphs in the days of Sburb. Dirk’s companionship has been taxing to the heart, to say the least, and yet he’s taught Jake so much—about combat, philosophy, life, love." Okay, that is just such a Jake thing to phrase it like this. I'm glad we get to see he's not so oblivious or un-elloquent in his mind as he presents himself to the outside world, consciously or not.

"But sometimes, despite their checkered and problematic past, Jakes wishes that he could seize Dirk by the proverbial horns and wrest him bodily into becoming a much more agreeable fellow." Heheh, so Jake actually would like to impose on Dirk some manners. At least with him it stays with desires, while Dirk really did try to impose on Jake when they were together.

"DIRK: How about you kick off the next round? DIRK: I bet this crowd will settle its shit right down the moment you drop the latest rhymes you’ve been tinkering with." This is going to be painful to read, isn't it? ... If we're going to read them at all. ... I swear, this might just lead into them having "the xest rapoff in the history of Earth C".

"Jake’s face lights up. He composes himself, adjusting a bow tie, although he is not wearing one, and making a vague gesture like he’s twirling one end of that mustache Dirk has not yet let him grow. Dirk lets him go with a gentle smile, like the sort you’d give to a dog for performing a trick adequately. Jake responds to the signal like an Olympic athlete hearing the starter pistol. He was born for this." All the best and worst aspects of Dirk & Jake as a couple are basically summarized here. I mean, Dirk is not even WITH Jake and vetoes some of his choices. Then again, Jake really does have TERRIBLE (but hilarious) taste in mannerisms.

"JAKE: Tally ho its me, jake mcgee! JAKE: Popping my pistols off, two shots and a kiss JAKE: My aim is tops, i never miss" ... I'm not disappointed, this really IS almost physically painful to read, as expected.

... Okay that was actually a very amazing rap. Well thought out, good use of the vocabulary, dated though it is. I liked "jake-eng's" and "jape-slings" in particular, especially since that was what Vriska dismissed him as, a joke, a jape.

"The crowd, as Dirk rightly predicted, has settled its shit right down. This is not due to any accidental brilliance on the part of Jake English, but rather due to an abashed but loyal brand of pity, the kind a devoted fan cannot help but feel when they see a beloved celebrity make an ass out of themselves during a live broadcast they have waited two and a half years in line to buy a ticket for." I think this might be Dirk's POV. Not everyone's tastes in rap are as dignified as his, after all. :P Consorts in particular might love this. Then again, we saw John embarass carapacians not too long ago, they're not immune to pitying people. But hey, on the brightside, maybe some of the audience <>'s Jake now. :P

"Dirk’s phone begins going off again." Unless it's something more ominous, this is probably Dave having the last quip.

"With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat. A chorus of boos rises up from the crowd like groundwater. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene troll fluid to field yet another very important personal call." ... Did Dirk actually use a Crockertech tranquilizer on his co-god? What the hell, Dirk? Guess all is fair in the ring.

And I suppose it's not Dave then that is calling him this time, if he takes such drastic measures.

"DIRK: Yo Rose, what's up?" Oooh, if we get to see this, that would be early we get to see Rose again! Dirk and Rose'll probably be planning their next move now that John has left. (Which I take Rose to already know about, through her Seer powers, or a call with Roxy.) ... Maybe some of their plans only could have worked IF John left, if they wanted to regain some measure of relevance through them.

#homestuck #upd8 #reaction #spoiler alert #dirk strider #dave strider #jake english

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domina-alba · 7 years ago

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Domina Alba

Hey Everyone, These are the chapters that were initially posted to Ao3 and FFN so if you’ve already read Domina Alba feel free to skip! If you haven’t read Domina Alba you can find information about the fic Here

XVIII When Domina woke up there was something pink laying next to her. She blinked, her mouth felt dry and actually she felt like she had slept for quite a while. She laid there in a bit of a daze, mind almost completely empty and feeling warm. Then the pink thing moved. Domina frowned and realized she could hear people talking.

“Dude is she still asleep?” Amethyst asked “It’s like noon.”

“She was really tired, she didn’t even wake up when I turned on Crying Breakfast Friends, or when Lion tried to lay on her.” Steven said, the two were standing somewhere else in the house, by the kitchen maybe.

“I sleep heavy.” Domina said, she sat up and stretched, right as the Pink thing opened its jaws in a yawn to reveal a maw full of sharp predatory teeth. Domina yelped and quite literally flew off the loft landing on her back on the floor between the couch arrangement and the kitchen. “What in the stars is that!” Domina asked.

“Oh that’s lion, it’s ok he’s harmless.” Steven said. He offered her a hand while Amethyst laughed. Domina took it and got to her feet. The house was empty other than the three of them, the temple doors were silent.

“Yo, so P and the G squad are out on a mission. Me and steven were going to go to the Barn to hang out with Lapis and P-dot. You wanna come?” Amethyst asked. Domina blinked and took a moment to parse the Gems meaning.

“Oh, uh, I really should get some work done I’m probably more behind than normal. How long did you say I was asleep?” Domina asked.

“Like twelve hours” Steven said. Domina blanched then rubbed the back of her neck, and glanced up to where Pearls gem still sat on the bed.

“I haven’t done that in a century and a half.” She muttered, then louder said. “I really should get some work done then.”

“Aww come on...” Steven said, his eyes getting big and pleading. “It’ll be fun, besides who knows when you’ll be back on earth.” Domina felt her heartstrings tug a little bit.

“Well I want to be here when Pearl regenerates.” She attempted to protest.

“Dude just bring her with. It ain’t no thing.” Amethyst said. Steven nodded enthusiastically. Domina sighed and looked between the two of them, then back up at where Pearl was.

“Fine, but I’m bringing my visor so I can get something done.” Domina said. Steven whooped.

“Just let me get cleaned up.”

The Trio left the house via warp pad about twenty minutes later, to arrive at the same location where Domina had warped in the first time she had met Steven. She hung back slightly as they walked. Steven and Amethyst were chatting up ahead, while Domina approved or dismissed transfer orders, requisition requests and building permits. Pearls Gem was sitting in the breast pocket of the multi colored shirt that Lars had given her, the sleeves had been just a tad too short so they were rolled up above her elbow. She had much more in her inbox than usual, yet another reason to miss Pearl.

They walked up to a large building surrounded by cultivated plant life, the building itself was largely red but was very eclectic in design.

“Is that what one of these is supposed to look like?” Domina asked.

“Nah.” Amethyst said.

“Peridot and Lapis did some redecorating.” Steven said going up and pounding on the door.

“I see..” Domina said smiling ever so slightly.

“Peridot! Lapis! We’re here!” Steven called into the structure.

“Come on in!!” Peridot shouted. They went in and inside the Barn was possibly even more eclectic, There was a giant tank of water with fish swimming inside set into the wall, cans and leather gloves hanging from the ceiling, and in the corner there was a stack of Toilets like the ones from Stevens bathroom. Domina frowned slightly and was still taking in the barn when Peridot, still without her limb enhancers floated gently to the ground atop a dome shaped piece of metal. “Is White Diamonds ship f- Oh my stars!!” Peridot jumped off the metal and fell backwards before scrambling to her feet.

“Steven you didn’t tell me you were bringing White Diamond with you!” She said in a tense, forcefully cheerful voice. Domina shifted uncomfortably. Being around Gems who were unfamiliar with her was always slightly awkward for the first decade or so, and really there was no reason for her to attempt to connect.

“I can just go, really steven I’ve got stuff to work on.” Domina said.

“Yeah don’t want to slow down the empire.” Peridot said still forcing a smile.

“Relax P-dot, she’s not here to be all diamondy.” Amethyst said. Domina chuckled slightly.

“I read your report, on the cluster.” Domina said.

“You did?!” Peridot said.

“Yes, it was in amongst the files on earth.” She said. “Out of curiosity how did you neutralize the cluster.”

“We bubbled it!” Steven said. Domina frowned.

“You bubbled it? Wait. explain.” She said

The explanation consisted of several dramatic demonstrations by Steven and Peridot, along with some comments from Amethyst, by the end of it Domina couldn’t help but laugh, which seemed to put Peridot at ease.

“Yellow just thinks it failed to emerge.” She said. “Oh man, this whole thing is...” She shook her head. “It’s crazy.”

“What do you mean?” Steven said.

“Well,” She gestured at the three in front of her. “A group like you just wouldn’t work together this closely on homeworld.” She said “I mean, even just working daily with each other is odd, nevermind building a drill out of scrap.”

“I have mentioned before that the Crystal Gems methods of operation is very unorthodox, however It seems to give positive results.”

“Wait so do like gems on homeworld never work with each other?” Amethyst asked.

“Well not necessarily.” Domina said “It’s just.... Rubies work with quartz’s, or Topazes, Nephrites work with and around other gems, but.. It’s always for a purpose.” She remembered what her mother had said about the flexibility of homeworld during the rebellion, or rather the lack thereof.

“It’s different out in the colonies, but not by much.” Peridot nodded.

“Exactly, but that’s what’s so great about earth! I mean back on Homeworld in a thousand years I only ever worked with 1 lapis. But that one was an Armenus.”

“Well there are only so many Lapis’, Was it the Armenus that did the work on Porlex-5?” Domina asked.

“I believe so, she liked to do these weird arches in kindergartens, completely structurally unsound and always stripped the manganese of the area.” Peridot said. Domina made a face.

“Armenus’ are always a little cracked.” Lapis Lazuli’s voice said from above. Domina jumped and looked up at the gem who was sitting on the lip of the barn loft.

“I’ve found that too.” She said. “You did the work in the Alpha colonies didn’t you?”

“Woah really lapis?”Steven asked. Lapis pursed her lips but nodded.

“Yeah that was me.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen those.” Peridot said.

“Eh, they’re alright.” Lapis said.

“More than alright.” Domina turned on her visor and quickly pulled up pictures and turned them to face the group.

“Woah!” Steven said leaning in to see closer. Peridot was less interested in the pictures and more in the visor.

“What are those?” She asked. Domina logged out of her account and passed them to the peridot.

“Their a modified version of the screens Zircons use, with some tactile additions to get around the fact that my body’s not hard light.” Domina said. Peridot dismissed her visor and put on Domina’s.

“This is fascinating.”

“Keep it.” Domina said.

“WHAT!?” Peridot said flailing her arms slightly. Domina shrugged.

“I’ve got another set, and really seeing a peridot thats not nose deep in a screen is just plain weird.”

“Your brilliance I-”

“Please please don’t call me that, I never go by that.” Domina said. “Just call me Domina.”

“But I-”

“Please, take them.” She said crouching to Peridots level. Peridot stared at Amethyst and Steven, then at Lapis, all of which looked slightly taken aback by this conversation.

“Wow.” Peridot said “Thanks.”

#Steven Universe #Domina Alba Chapters #White Diamond #Pink Pearl #Fanfiction #Vulgaris Adamas

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