#where the doctors spend like 2 hours with you and do all this testing and only take on a limited amount of patients

[thedisablednaturalist]

spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.

[love-anddeepression]

Everything is fine -2

A/n: aaaaah thank you so much for waiting for part 2! sorry it's been so long im having fever and i had electoral campaigning to do so i've been so busy :DDD enjoy some revenge and a moment<3 not proofread so please excuse any mistakes

Part -1

The house is quiet when you enter. Spotless. As if it’s been frantically cleaned and the dust has been swept under the rug. You want to laugh. The bedroom door swings open but this time, he’s awake. He’s reading a book, his bottom half covered by the blanket. He looks up as you close the door and place your tote on the desk.

“Hey, baby.” he smiles and you let the corners of your mouth lift a little.

“I need some air.” you say and draw the curtains, unlatching the window and pushing it open. The night breeze is cool and the air in the room seems fresher. You stick your head out a little and breathe deeply, looking down.

You’re known to have the most absolute, shit eyesight, but even you can the the glow of red eyes a floor below you. You smile and draw back, Taking a towel from the cabinet and heading to the bathroom without a word, leaving your husband confused.

He can hear the shower turn on, and a few seconds later, the singular lamp in the roo switches off, leaving him in complete darkness. 

Miguel swears in frustration and huffs under his breath. His eyes come to focus as he gets used to the dark.

The only sounds are the rush of water in the shower, yet he feels the silence is eerie. The wind picks up, it’s almost howling, It sounds like a wail. His breathing quickens a little, and his eyes fall to the little expanse to the outside world.

He freezes. There’s something outside.

On the 18th floor. Staring at him. It’s eyes glow a deep red and he can see claws gripping the window sill. 

He wants to shout, to scream, to fucking move. But he can’t. 

The bathroom door swings open and he looks at you, then back at the window.

There’s nothing. No one.

“What’s wrong, honey?” your voice is soft and breezy, “It’s just the dark.” 

He looks almost manic, hunched over as he looked between you and the window, “There w-was something there. With red fucking eyes and it was staring at me.”

He looks at the window again and that’s when he shouts, “There!” he points and jumps off the bed, “Right there!”

You look to where he points and in the dark, you know he won’t see your smile. But Miguel will. 

You tilt you head, “Miggy, there’s nothing there. Are you okay?”

“Wha- how can you not see that?!”  he sputters and you walk over to him, turning his face away from the window, “Calm down, love. I think we should go to a doctor. In fact, I’ll make an appointment tomorrow, it’s the weekend anyway.”

 He takes your hands off his face and sighs, “I know what I saw.” he hugs you.

Your eyes flit to the window and you see one of the scarlet eyes shut in a wink. And then they disappear.

Your hand smooths his hair down, “We’ll be just fine.”

—---------------------

“I think it’s just stress, Miggy.” you say as you drive back from the clinic. He’d been subject to a number of tests by the doctors trying to find something wrong with one of the head scientists of the corporation that funded their work. Of course, they found nothing, but they did advise him to rest,  “After all, you spend so much time at work.” you shake your head in pity, “I’ll take off for a few days.”

“No!” he winces when you turn to look at him with an eyebrow raised, “I mean, no, you don’t have to. I’ll be alright. It’s just stress. You dob’t have to sacrifice your work.”

“Oh nonsense.” you wave him off, “It’s not a sacrifice to take care of the man I love. Unless, you want me to stay out of the house.” you chuckle, “You want me to stay out, honey?”

“No.” his voice breaks, “Of course not.”

A ting! Sounds from his phone and you peak at the notification thats from Dana.

“Is Dana coming over?”

He double takes, “How- nevermind. Yeah, she said she’d be visiting in an hour or so.”

You hum, with a small smile and swerve to the right, and he jerks and almost hits head on the window. You park, “Could you bring the groceries in?” you gesture to the shopping you’d gotten done when he was at the clinic. You smile and get out, leaving him behind.

He sighs and gets out, shutting the front seat door while opening the back one and taking out the paper bag. He notices a man standing opposite the car with his back turned to it.

He’s wearing the same clothes that Miguel’s wearing. And when he turns around he takes his shades off and he stares at him with red eyes. Miguel draws ina sharp breath.

If you ever see someone that looks identical to you, run away and hide.

His phone rings and he looks down at it and cuts the call. When he looks back him, the figure has disappeared. Shit. Shit.

Run away.

Hide.

He looks to his right, to where the entrance to the building is and he doesn’t even take a step before pain blooms across the back of his head. He doubles over with a groan but is pulled back by his hair and he can feel a sharp pain at his neck.

Then, darkness.

—-----------------------------------

“Miguel, I swear to god.” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “This wasn’t the plan!  How do I explain how he magically arrived here after fainting downstairs? You know the plan was that I dru-”

“Tell him a tall, nice man helped you.” he snarks and you resist the urge to throttle him. You settle for a glare that makes him chuckle.

“Relax, Sweetheart. He’ll believe you. Now I've healed the puncture with bacta spray and the wound is gone.” he gestures to the man currently spread out on your shared bed, “I need you to wake him up, tell him he passed out from exhaustion. I’ll take it from there.”

You look up at him, “Thank you. For wasting your time on this.”

His hand comes to rest on your shoulder and it tingles, “No time wasted, I assure you.” he nods reassuringly, “Now wake him up.” He rolls his shoulders and settles down on the plush couch you have that faces the bed.

You flick some water from the bottle you keep on the bedside table onto your husband’s face and when he wakes with a start, you fall into the role of the worried wife.

“Oh my god! Miggy! You’re finally awake!” you cup his face, “I was so worried! Are you okay?” His widened eyes look inyo yours and his furrowed eyebrows soften.

“I-I blacked out. There was this guy who looked like me and-” his gaze travels behind you to fall on the couch and he freezes at the sight of the menacing man staring at him with those fucking red eyes. 

Run away and hide.

“Baby.” he looks back at you, “Do not  look back.”

The room is silent. You can see Miguel in the reflection of your husbands eyes. Like the snap of a branch, the doorbell rings and youre forced to turn around, much to your husband’s protests. 

You lock eyes with Miguel and look back at your husband with incredulous eyes, “Miguel, are you crazy? There is nothing there!” 

“Can you not see that?” he stretches his hand out to make a point and Miguel scowls.

“I can see absolutely bullshit!” you raise your voice.

The bell interrupts whatever he was going to say and take a deep breath. 

“I’m assuming that’s Dana?” you raise and eyebrow and he nods, “I’ll get it.”

“No! Don’t leave me with that fucking thing!” he points to where Miguel sits and then at you. You groan.

“Then you go and open the door!” 

“FIne!” he storms out, wobbling just a little. You hear the door open and your stomach drops when you head Dana’s voice.

“Hey.” Miguel says and you look down, “You’re going to be okay.”

You nod, “I’m going to be fine.”

He gestures to the door and you steel yourself before stepping out, a smile making its way onto your face as you spread your arms and greet Dana who replies with her high pitched voice. Even your husband seems to be in a better mood and you can’t help but remember the hologram.

“I love you” he kissed her neck softly and she giggled.

“Hey!” Dana says your name, “You okay?” 

“Youre going to be okay.”

You snap out of you daze, “Yeah, sorry. Long day.” you smile again and she pouts almost condescendingly.

“Awwww, I’m sure you’ve had a tiring day. Writing is such a hard profession.” she says airily.

You grit your teeth, “Tea?”

“Yeah honey, I think we’d like that.” Miguel smiles.

As you walk to the kitchen, and get out the ingredients, Miguel recounts the events of the day to Miguel and she scrunches her nose and laughs. She, too, says it’s just stress. Only this time, he listens. You swallow hard and go back to boiling the tea.

The apartment is built in an industrial style, and very much an open plan. The design is such that Miguel can see you from the bedroom. He can see your hands flying to open and close cabinets and crushing cardamom and washing tea cups. Living a life so different from the one you live with him.

The teacups clink as you place the tray on the coffee table. They take the cups and sip the tea with relish, like they always do. Miguel sighs contently and Dana groans with satisfaction.

“Have fun.” you grin, “I gotta shower. I’ll see you in a bit.” you whip around to speed walk awkwardly to the bedroom. Cursing at yourself inwardly because really? That’s the best excuse you could find?

Paces away from the bedroom, your eyes meet Miguel’s. The variant of your husband. This variant who had patched you up, and got you food and held you and was currently waiting for you and wasting his time on your petty revenge.

You breathe from your mouth so they can’t hear the sniffles you’re trying to hide as you shut the door.

```````````````````````````````

The door shuts with a click as you step in and in five seconds, Miguel curses his stupid enhanced hearing and winces. You give him a sad smile and he moves to wrap his arms around you. Your hands go around his neck and you look up at him. After a few moments, his head dips, and he’s so close. So close that the both of you are breathing the same air. Noses nuzzling each other, cheeks rubbing against the other and lips leaving their light feather touch on the other. 

He can hear the small sniffle you try to hide and he does the only thing he can think of to make you think of anything else. His head hides in the crook of your neck and he breathes in your scent. He relishes the small sounds that leave you. He lets them envelop his senses, so he doesn’t have to hear whatever is going on in the next room. His hands travel the expanse of your back, fingers teasing under the hem of your shirt.  It’s a messed up dance you’re both in. He knows that. But, god, you’re so soft and-

Oh.

He breathes out a moan. Your lips are on his neck, gently mouthing at flesh. Your eyelashes leave whispers of kisses in their wake that make him lurch forward and pick you up. Your legs wrap around his waist like it’s an instinct.

The windows bathe you in the setting sunlight. And you look ethereal.

But. You’re not her. You’re not his love. Her smile was different, her hair shorter. Her eyes are softer. His head wracks with guilt but then he looks at you again. You’re doing the same. 

He can hear the laughter from outside, but it’s like time stands till as the both of you look at each other. Searching for what is missing. Using the other for their own comfort.

Like a reverent follower, he gazes at you. Like you’re his saint. He wants to say the words. To tell you to use him. So that the both of you can have some semblance of comfort in each other. Your head dips down and your lips brush his and his eyes shut. Succumbing to the feeling.

Two thuds are heard and you pull back, “That was fast.”

“Wait, you used the drug?” his eyes widen and you smile.

“Well, what’s left now but to take them to HQ?” you chuckle.

The hall is silent. There is no laughter.

He smiles.

[agi-ppangx]

💭let me help you

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

word count: 806

tags: non!idol au, gn!reader, angst, fluff, pre established relationship

warnings: hospital, broken leg, a bit of crying

author's note: hiii, i hope yall are doing fine!! wrote this pretty quickly and its totally not proofread, so please dont mind any typos and mistakes </3 feedback and reblogs highly appreciated 🫶🏽

you tried calling your boyfriend several times now and finally, after what feels like forever, you heard his voice. "channie! hi, um… look, i'm really sorry, but we have to cancel our date tonight…" you said with a pounding heart. you felt guilty, knowing that today was one of rare times when chan could wrap up his work earlier and spend some time with you. "everything alright? you sound worried" chan asked, concerned about your well-being. you started to panic a bit, not wanting him to worry about your problem. "yeah, it's nothing, i swear it's just-" "y/n, what's going on?" he interrupted you, clearly lost in your rambling. you sighed and mumbled "i'm at the hospital right now. but it's fine! really, i'm fine, just won't be able to go to the movies later". chan didn't respond for a while, but you heard rustling and the door closing. "which hospital?" he then asked, his voice shaking. you knew it was useless to argue with him and you told him the address. "i'll be there in 20, wait for me, okay?" chan stated and you hummed, ending the call.

you and chan have been dating for a little over 2 months and throughout this time you weren't able to go on many dates, since chan's job was quite time consuming and your schedules collided every time you wanted to go out together. and today was one of the rare times when you could meet up. you two planned everything a week in advance, chose a movie you were going to watch and the restaurant you were supposed to eat dinner after it. but you had so much to do today before the date and in a rush your feet slipped on the stairs, causing you to fall down and break a leg. you were in a hospital for a while now, nervously waiting for your doctor to carry out essential tests and put a plaster on your leg. it felt like hours and you didn't know how long it would all take.

chan arrived pretty quickly, bursting into the emergency room and looking nervously around it. when his eyes finally met yours, he sprinted to your side and took a better look. "what happened?" he asked, his voice quiet and unstable. "i… fell down the stairs this morning" you murmured, ashamed that a grown up person could be that clumsy. "i'm really sorry channie, i wanted to run errands before our date and i just…" you sighed, pointing to your leg resignedly. you mumbled a quiet "i'm sorry" once again and looked down to hide the tears that gathered in your eyes. after a while, chan finally spoke. "y/n, you don't have to be sorry, you did nothing wrong. i was just really worried about you and for the whole drive here i was praying for you to be fine" he said, placing his hand on your cheek and wiping the tears from your face. "does it hurt?" he then asked softly, although he knew the answer. "it does, so bad, and i don't know how long i have to wait for the doctor" you whispered, sounding defeated, and more tears ran down your face. he kissed your forehead and then got up. you didn't know where he was going, but soon you saw him talking to the nurses and to your doctor. you didn't hear the conversation, but you saw that chan was impatient, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he was speaking. he returned to you after a while with a smile and a soft "they'll take care of you now". then everything happened really fast, the nurse taking you to examine you and within an hour you were ready to leave with a plaster on your leg.

chan offered to give you a ride, helping you to get to the car. "you'll spend a few days at my place, okay? i'll take care of you" he stated and you looked at him. "chan, you don't have to, i'll be fi-" you started but he interrupted you, "baby, you know your place is too cramped and complicated for you to get around with crutches. please, let me help you". you sat in silence for a while when you suddenly asked "baby?". it took you off guard, being in a fresh relationship you two didn't really use affectionate names yet, but you liked it a lot. you saw chan's face become red like a tomato and you giggled to yourself. "fine, let's go to your place, baby," you grinned. chan smiled to himself and then there was a pleasant silence between you. you wondered how you got so lucky to have chan in your life - someone who treated you with care and love and was there for you for good and for bad.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Ghost!Robin Arc 2 Part 2

Ghost!Robin won this week's poll as well! So have a little bit more of the fic for WIP Wednesday. *resolutely ignores the clock that informs me midnight was an hour ago so it is clearly Thursday*

Check out this week's poll if you want a say in what I post next.

Story Summary: Everything changed the evening Jason met Jazz's brother. Danny introduced him and his entire family to the ghost that is, apparently, haunting him. The ghost of the Robin he had been.

The ghost of the person everyone he's ever known wishes he still was.

All he wants is to make it go away.

First, Previous

Word Count: 1.2k

-----

Jason did not sleep that night, spending his time beating up a punching bag instead. What sleep he did get was laid out on the mats in the workout room. Even that was plagued by nightmares.

So it was with The Joker’s laughs still echoing in his ears that he finally dragged himself to the kitchen to start making breakfast.

Danny was no where to be seen—probably sleeping—but the ghost was. He was staring out the window not doing anything.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” grumbled Jason.

The ghost did the head motion every Robin learned to indicate they were rolling their eyes. Can’t he signed.

Jason grunted. He…probably should have figured that one out. “Well go read a book or something and don’t bother me.”

The ghost gave him a very deliberate look before flying to one of the bookcases and reaching for a book. Only for his hand to go right through it. He glared back at Jason.

“Oh.” Jason did not feel bad for the creature. He was the interloper here. But the silence in the room was not helping anything. Not with his nightmares so close to the surface. He hooked his phone up to a portable speaker and pulled up his audiobook library. Today was the sort of day for an old favorite.

Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence…

Jason hummed in satisfaction and turned his attention to the fridge. What to make for breakfast? He resolutely ignored the ghost who’d settled in his living room.

A few hours later, Jason was finishing the homemade fruit sauce when arms wrapped around his stomach and a head rested against his back.

“Mmmm, smells good,” mumbled Jazz, her voice rough with sleep.

Jason patted her arm. “I remember you liked the strawberry topping. Figured we could have it over pancakes. Batter is in the fridge.”

“Best boyfriend ever,” she said. She rested her head against his back and Jason felt himself relax in a way he hadn’t since he’d stepped out of the dining room and saw the ghost. “You left early.”

His stomach sank. Of course she noticed. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Jason,” she said flatly, a hint of warning in her tone.

He sighed. “I just couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts going ‘round my head.”

“Hence the Austen?”

He chuckled. “Hence the Austen.”

She yawned and pushed away from him. “I’ll go brush my teeth and get Danny up.”

“He was up pretty late himself; might need to sleep in.”

She groaned. “Of course he was up, too. Well too bad. He could’ve gone to bed earlier and I think we need to have a talk about what to do next.”

“He said something about doctor yetis and a place called the Far Frozen,” Jason said. He stirred the strawberries and lifted a spoonful to test it’s consistency. Perfect. He turned off the burner.

“Oh. And you agreed?”

Jason shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice if I want that”—he jerked a thumb at the ghost—“gone.”

“Jason…” her voice had gone soft and he winced.

“I know,” he admitted to the stove. “I know it’s gonna be more complicated than that.”

She was silent for a moment before sighing. “I love you, Jay,” was all she said before walking away. Presumably to the bathroom to get ready.

Which meant he had to start the pancakes. He pulled out the griddle, added a wad of butter, and turned on the heat.

By the time Jazz and Danny returned, Jason had made a pile of pancakes large enough to satisfy a speedster. Next to it sat the strawberry topping and a jar of syrup in case that was Danny’s preference. On an impulse, he grabbed the chocolate chips, too.

Chocolate and Austen, the perfect combination for a crappy day.

Unfortunately, breakfast passed much too quickly for his tastes and soon enough they were packing away the leftovers in the fridge.

“Jazz, you’re so lucky you found someone who could cook,” commented Danny.

Jason had to laugh. “Yeah, not one of her skills, is it?”

“Not one of either of our skills. Has she told you about what our kitchen was like growing up?”

“After your knife comment last night, I feel like she may have left some things out.” Despite everything that had happened since, he hadn’t forgotten that little tidbit. Jazz was so tight-lipped about her childhood that Jason made a point to horde every detail she let slip.

Jazz groaned. “Nope. I’m full of delicious food and happy. I do not want to have to remember the hell that was the Fenton kitchen.”

From the corner of his eye. Jason could see the ghost looking at them with interest. He glared at him; the ghost glared right back.

“That’s enough, you two,” ordered Jazz.

Jason broke eye contact and stared at the floor to mumble and insincere apology he knew wouldn’t fool Jazz.

Luckily she took pity on him and didn’t push. “Danny, Jason said something about you taking us to the Far Frozen?”

Danny nodded. “Yep! Frostbite might be able to tell us what happened and have some ideas on how to help them.”

“Well, Jason, Robin,” started Jazz and Jason had to force himself to not wince at the way she addressed them both. “When do you think you want to go?”

“Now,” said Jason immediately. “Or as soon as possible. I want to know what’s going on.”

The ghost nodded his agreement and made more of those chirping noises that Danny seemed to understand.

“Then let’s get going,” said Danny.

Jazz sighed again. “Hold it, Danny. Jason, you and I should go get changed. There’s a reason it’s called the Far Frozen.”

Jason took her advice and dug deep in his closet for the heaviest winter gear. Before too long, Jazz declared them both dressed in enough layers to satisfy her. They returned to the living room.

“Do you need us to do anything?” asked Jason.

“Nah.” Danny raised his hand and made a slashing motion with his fist. “That’s all it takes. There’s some benefits to being the Ghost King: my ring can open portals anywhere.”

Following the motion Danny had made, a tear formed in the very fabric of the universe. Though it, Jason could see a swirling sky of Lazarus green. Over his years as a vigilante, Jason had seen many strange and impossible things. But that tear unsettled him on a more visceral level than most. It reminded him of the pits, he wanted to run away. It felt like home, he wanted to run forward. Instead he stared, transfixed by the way the bit of sky—was it sky?—through the portal appeared to flow like water.

Jazz grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

Danny didn’t hesitate and flew right through, transforming as he did. The ghost followed right on his heels. Both turned to stare at him and Jazz.

“Come on,” she said. “We’ll be perfectly safe.” She walked forward and Jason followed, half a step behind.

His conflicted feelings got stronger with every step, but he kept pace with Jazz until they were through. No ground existed wherever they were, but he and Jazz were able to float in place.

Behind them, the portal disappeared. Taking with it his only hope of retreat.

-----

Next

They've made it to the Infinite Realms! And Jason still has Feelings™️ about the ghost that's following. (Do you notice he never refers to Robin, even mentally, as anything other than "the ghost"? That's a very deliberate choice.)

The strawberry topping is a thing I make semi regularly. I will sit there and eat it with a spoon it's so good. But over pancakes? Absolutely decadent. (The recipe calls it a pie filling, but eh. I'd rather just eat it with a spoon. Or over ice cream. Or pancakes.)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Poor people pay higher time tax

Doubtless you’ve heard that “we all get the same 24 hours in the day.” Of course it’s not true: rich people and poor people experience very different demands on their time. The richer you are, the more your time is your own — not only are many systems arranged with your convenience in mind, but you also command the social power to do something about systems that abuse your time.

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/10/my-time/#like-water-down-the-drain

For example: if you live in most American cities, public transit is slow, infrequent and overcrowded. Without a car, you lose hours every day to a commute spent standing on a lurching bus. And while a private car can substantially shorted that commute, people who can afford taxis or Ubers get even more time every day.

There’s a thick anthropological literature on the ways that cash-poverty translates into #TimePoverty. In David Graeber’s must-read essay “The Utopia of Rules,” he nails the way that capitalist societies generate Soviet-style bureaucracies, especially for poor people. Means-testing for benefits means that poor people spend endless hours filling in forms, waiting on hold, and lining up to see caseworkers to prove that they are among the “deserving poor” — not “mooches” who are defrauding the system:

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/

The social privilege gradient is also a time gradient: if you can afford a plane ticket, you can travel quickly across the country rather than losing days to the Greyhound or a road-trip. But if you’re even richer, you can pay for TSA Precheck and cut your airport security time from an hour to minutes. Go further up the privilege gradient and you’ll acquire airline status, shaving another hour off the check-in process.

This qualitative account of time poverty is well-developed, but it’s lacked a good, detailed quantitative counterpart, and our society often discounts qualitative work as mere anecdote and insists on having every story converted to numbers before it is taken seriously.

In “Examining inequality in the time cost of waiting,” published this month in Nature Human Behavior, public affairs researchers Steve Holt (SUNY) and Katie Vinopal (Ohio State) analyze data from the American Time Use Survey (AUTS) to produce a detailed, vibrant quantitative backstop to the qualitative narrative about time poverty:

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-023-01524-w

(The paper is paywalled, but the authors made a mostly final preprint available)

https://osf.io/preprints/socarxiv/jbk3x/download

The AUTS “collects retrospective time diary data from a nationally representative subsample drawn from respondents to the Census Bureau’s Community Population Survey (CPS) each year.” These time-diary entries are sliced up in 15-minute chunks.

Here’s what they found: first, there are categories of basic services where high-income people avoid waiting altogether, and where low-income people experience substantial waits. A person from a low-income household “an hour more waiting for the same set of services than people from high-income household.” That’s 73 hours/year.

Some of that gap (5%) is attributable to proximity. Richer people don’t have to go as far to access the same services as poorer people. Travel itself accounts for 2% more — poorer people wait longer for buses and have otherwise worse travel options.

A larger determinant of the gap (25%) is working flexibility. Poor people work jobs where they have less freedom to take time off to receive services, so they are forced to take appointments during peak hours.

Specific categories show more stark difference. If a poor person and a wealthy person go to the doctor’s on the same day, the poor person waits 46.28m to receive care, while the wealthy person waits 28.75m. The underlying dynamic here isn’t hard to understand. Medical practices that serve rich people have more staff.

The same dynamic plays out in grocery stores: poor people wait an average of 24m waiting every time they go shopping. For rich people, it’s 15m. Poor people don’t just wait in longer lines — they also have to wait for understaffed stores to unlock the cases that basic necessities are locked behind (poor people also travel longer to get to the grocery store — and they travel by slower means).

A member of a poor household with a chronic condition that requires two clinic visits per month loses an additional five hours/year to waiting rooms when compared to a wealthy person. As the authors point out, this also translates to delayed care, missed appointments, and exacerbated health conditions. Time poverty leads to health poverty.

All of this is worse for people of color: “Low-income White and Black Americans are both more likely to wait when seeking services than their wealthier same-race peer” but “wealthier White people face an average wait time of 28 minutes while wealthier Black people face a 54 minute average wait time…wealthier Black people do not receive the same time-saving attention from service providers that wealthier non-Black people receive” (there’s a smaller gap for Latino people, and no observed gap for Asian Americans.)

The gender gap is more complicated: “Low-income women are 3 percentage points more likely than low-income men and high-income women are 6 percentage points more likely than high-income men to use common services” — it gets even worse for low-income mothers, who take on the time-burdens associated with their kids’ need to access services.

Surprisingly, men actually end up waiting longer than women to access services: “low-income men spend about 6 more minutes than low-income women waiting for service…high-income men spend about 12 more minutes waiting for services than high-income women.”

Given the important role that scheduling flexibility plays in the time gap, the authors propose that interventions like subsidized day-care and afterschool programming could help parents access services at off-peak hours. They also echo Graeber’s call for reduced paperwork burdens for receiving benefits and accessing public services.

They recommend changes to labor law to protect the right of low-waged workers to receive services during off-peak hours, in the manner of their high-earning peers (they reference research that shows that this also improves worker productivity and is thus a benefit to employers as well as workers).

Finally, they come to the obvious point: making people less cash-poor will alleviate their time-poverty. Higher minimum wages, larger earned income tax credits, investments in low-income neighborhoods and better public transit will all give poor people more time and more money with which to command better services.

This week (Feb 13–17), I’ll be in Australia, touring my book Chokepoint Capitalism with my co-author, Rebecca Giblin. We’re doing a remote event for NZ on Feb 13. Next are Melbourne (Feb 14), Sydney (Feb 15) and Canberra (Feb 16/17). More tickets just released for Sydney!

[Image ID: A waiting room, draped with cobwebs. A skeleton sits in one of the chairs. A digital display board reads 'Now serving 53332.' An ogrish, top-hatted figure standing at a podium, yanking a dollar-sign shaped lever looms into the frame from the right. He holds a clock aloft disdainfully, pinched between the thumb and fingers of one white-gloved hand.]

[grison-in-space]

sorry I know this was not your point in the intersex post but I was wondering how you deal with your facial hair? I'm a cis woman and have lots of chin and facial hair (not to mention absurd body hair, as well as progressive hair loss on my head) and it's been pretty devastating for my self esteem. I have never been a beauty and now that chronic illness and age is catching up to me I have a hard time not feeling subhuman (the debilitating anxiety does not help).

My doctor insists I don't have PCOS and that my hormones are normal after multiple tests and 2nd opinions I've gotten have said the same. I tried laser and it seemed to make it worse, and I liked electrolysis and did many sessions over six months but it's not affordable to me at the moment and it seems it's all grown back? But it's been a few years so maybe it's just new growth. I am hoping to restart the electrolysis if I ever get close to having a comfortable financial situation again lol.

I find shaving it feels awful, the stubble is painful and I have a five o clock shadow like 2 hours later, but spending 30 minutes plucking every day is also not fun. Waxing just always rips off my skin and misses enough hairs to be annoying, even when I've gotten it professionally done.

It's absolutely driving me mad but it feels like I have no options to do anything about it.

I am so sorry, Anon: the chin and neck hair hits me in a bad sensory place as much as or more so than the visual side of it, so I compulsively pluck it as it appears. (I pretty much ignore everywhere else.)

My experience with laser hair was that it at least lightened and softened the hairs that were produced where I had it as a teenager, which makes plucking feel less necessary. Occasionally I contemplate one of those at home laser hair kits, but I've never actually gotten around to grabbing one.

That said, the level of androgenization you're describing is absolutely high enough to be worth seeking care for. Check whether your insurance has provisions for gender affirming care. You may also be a good candidate for spironolactone (for the thinning hair) or HRT, particularly if you're post menopausal. You're probably still going to be grappling with hair until you can do another electrolysis or laser session, but those should help you with keeping facial hair from coming back.

Have you seen a dedicated endocrinologist? It's also worth seeking an expert opinion, because the specific suite of symptoms you're describing certainly do sound like something unusual is going on whether or not it's PCOS.

[bangrychannie]

College AU Stay Kids Fanfiction Recs

Hello! You all voted for college AU for my next rec list, so here it is! I just compiled all of my bookmarks into a spreadsheet for easier recs, and I have 31 under college AU (just shy of 1 million words of fanfic omg). I will not put all of them but I'll make a part 2 at some point. Lots of pairings here but mostly Minsung. I tried to do a mix of explicit and non explicit ones.

My other fanfic rec lists:

Misc

Time Loop

Angst free

Demons

love, friendship, and other complications by flying_dream (Sungbin | 1/1 | 18,363 | Teen and Up)

Jisung has never had a date for Valentine's Day. Never. Never. Naturally, as his best friend and number #1 bro, Changbin steps up to the plate and volunteers as tribute. Yeah, this is definitely going to be one for the books.

Classic idiots to lovers. Obsessed with this one

Attachments by bitsori (Minsung | 1/1 | 16,423 | Teen and Up)

“You can do the 24-hour handcuff challenge!” Felix suddenly suggested, and the gears in Jisung's head immediately began to turn. “It's perfect for you and Minho-hyung, and your viewers would love that,” he added. Jisung took pause; he had to admit that their idea could make for amusing content. He and Minho always had fun when they were together, and he knew that his subs love to see him with his best friend. in which Jisung and Minho spend an entire day literally attached to each other, and certain revelations come about.

Youtuber Jisung, dancer Minho, teensy tiny bit of angst I love it

36 Questions to Fall Out of Hate by leebitcore (Minsung | 1/1 | 15,719 | Explicit)

Images of Lee Minho’s stupidly smug face flash through Jisung’s brain as he marches out of the dining hall to go to the faculty building. He can already hear his condescending voice, arrogant as he teases Jisung about them being partnered up. Something along the lines of “Happy to see me? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we do well.” or, Jisung and Minho are paired together to test the 36 Questions to Fall in Love for a school project. There’s only one problem – Jisung can’t fucking stand him.

Enemies to lovers/academic rivals Minsung what more could you ask for

Sure Strike by falloutgirl (2min | 1/1 | 27,963 | explicit)

Minho's eyes trail down Seungmin’s shirtless body, his toned arms, his lithe form, the bit of lean tummy that Minho has been imagining biting into for weeks. His eyes follow the sweat dripping off Seungmin’s hair and down his chest, rolling down his abdomen as it pools against his bellybutton. His gaze sinks lower, lower, and he sees all of Seungmin, in nothing but the tightest pair of white boxer briefs Minho’s ever seen. A strangled breath breaks its way out of Minho's throat. There’s nothing left to the imagination.

One sided enemies to lovers where Minho is incredibly down bad for Seungmin. Obsessed. The smut in this is insane so make sure to read the tags lol

eight hugs a day (keeps the doctor away) by tuanpark (Seungjin | 1/1 | 20,879 | Teen and up)

Seungmin didn’t want to argue. “Look, can you help me or not? I’m just trying to relieve some stress here, man.” Hyunjin seemed deep in thought. “I can’t help you if you don’t want to hug… But tell you what! We can work up to it. Start small and work our way up to one. Free of charge!” Or Seungmin is a stressed college student, and Hyunjin is a self-proclaimed hug therapist.

I like this one bc Hyunjin is odd af and Seungmin has no clue how to deal with it lol. Very cute

the long game by floraii (Hyunsung | 1/1 16,045 | Teen and Up)

“Anyway,” he continues, voice still sultry, “I’ve been seeing you in class, and I was just wondering—” he moves his hand to curl around a strand of his hair. “Could I get your number?” Han Jisung’s big brown eyes blink again. His gaze darts to his lips, then to his notebook, then up to his eyes. “To study?” “Yeah,” Hyunjin blurts without thinking. What the fuck? Study? What is happening? Why is he agreeing?

Hyunjin has a type. It’s not usually shy boys in his Intro to Statistics class with big round eyes and glasses, but Han Jisung is different.

Nerd Jisung and jock Hyunjin yippeee

reply hazy, try again by mrehk (Chanbin | 1/1 | 14,951 | explicit)

Changbin’s calculus tutor is Bang Chan. Smile wide, eyes shining, curly hair wild around his head. He’s got his backpack slung over one arm, those fuck ass chino shorts with a five inch inseam that make Changbin’s mouth water— and, goddamn, he’s wearing a fucking cropped t-shirt. Jisung and Seungmin are going to string Changbin up and have their way with public humiliation when they hear about this. (OR: solving for the derivative of l+o+v+e)

Changbin drooling over Chan was super funny, I loved this. I don't think mrehk could write something bad though haha

pretty boy, don't you want me to? by sunshinedozing (Seungsung | 1/1 | 11,938 | Explicit)

“You’re cute.” Seungmin says bluntly. “And I kind of want to take you home with me. My shift’s over in thirty minutes, if you feel like waiting.” Jisung blinks at him a couple times. “Really?” He asks incredulously. “Wow, okay. Yeah I’ll um, I’ll wait.” Seungmin grins, and he lets a little sharpness slip into it. “Great, I’ll see you then.” Jisung gulps. “Yeah, see you then.”

Jisung kind of wants the hot librarian who keeps distracting him to take him home and fuck him stupid. Luckily, the hot librarian wants the same thing.

sunshinedozing is also a fantastic writer! love this one, loser Jisung is like the best thing ever

peaches and cream by stellalunar (Minsung, 2/2 | 49,793 | Teen and Up)

Jisung truly doesn't mean to spend his Friday night holding someone else's sopping clothes in the laundry room of the dorm building while said someone else stares at him with an expression that's a mix of amusement, confusion, and pity. But here he is, standing in the laundry room of the dorm building, holding the sopping wet clothes of a very amused college student who's valiantly giving his best effort not to straight-up laugh at Jisung. - Or, in which Jisung's dumb, sleep-deprived self accidentally steals Minho's clothes and then Minho shows up at Jisung's door with an impish grin and a needed favor and accidental feelings ensue.

Jisung is so awkward in this one and it's super cute

falling thru the cracks by liknow (Seungbin | 1/1 | 6862 | Teen and Up)

"Friends don't kiss," Minho says, eyes narrowed. "Uh, sometimes they do? I mean, we're really good friends..." Changbin tries to defend. "Really good friends don't kiss either, idiot."

in which: Changbin and Seungmin accidentally make a habit of making out at parties, then start going to parties just so they have an excuse to make out, then realize that isn't normal.

another idiots to lovers so funny

Ok so that's all for now haha, I will definitely post a part 2 for college AUs but fake dating will be next! That is a much shorter list unfortunately so if y'all have good ones that you think I'd like I wouldn't mind if you sent them over

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 55 (Major Mom Guilt)

Heather waited to tell Malcolm about Ash's accident until they returned from the hospital the next morning. She usually texted, but this time she phoned.

She fidgeted through several anxious rings before he picked up. "You never call. What's going on?"

Her heart jumped into her throat. "It's Ash," she choked out. "He's okay, but he...he had an accident."

"What kind of accident?" Malcolm surprised himself with how quickly he lost track of his surroundings, toppling a stack of papers he'd been meaning to ask someone to file for over a week. "Where is he?"

"He's at home. He was playing at daycare yesterday and hit his head, but doctors cleared and discharged him this morning."

Malcolm was quiet. "Why didn't you call me last night?"

"It wasn't on purpose. I couldn't think straight about anything. It was late when the doctor said he'd be fine, so Conrad and I stayed at the hospital all night and we got back five minutes ago."

"I...I had an interview but I'll get one of the other reporters to cover it. I want to come see him."

Heather didn't expect Nancy and Malcolm to drop everything and drive all the way from San Myshuno, but later that day they came to see for themselves that Ash was okay.

He'd been cheerful and talkative before they arrived. But in front of his father and grandmother he whined about his head and said he was hungry, even though he'd just eaten.

Nancy chastised Heather while she and Conrad tried to make dinner. "He doesn't eat. He spends all day at a cut-rate daycare in this half-baked town that almost left us planning a funeral, and you work all day, every day, at the clinic you love so much. Maybe if you cut the asparagus spears smaller, Ash could eat them."

"He eats," Heather insisted. "He's testing boundaries and he knows you and Malcolm will both give him what he wants if he whines."

"My son and I discussed transferring him to a private preschool in the city on the way here. They're much more exclusive and have better childhood educators than the glorified nannies at his little daycare."

"They need the same qualifications in Brindleton Bay as they do in San Myshuno," interjected Conrad, continuing the meal as Heather's stress level forced her to temporarily step away from her knives. "It was an accident."

Nancy ignored him. She liked Conrad a lot less now that he was with Heather, but she didn't have it in her heart to hate him outright. "We started the application but we can't submit it without your signature," she said, placing the coiled booklet on the kitchen table in front of Heather. "We think it would be good for his education."

Heather said nothing, getting up to check the food Conrad had placed on the stove while he tidied the kitchen.

Malcolm could feel the tension when he came down the stairs. "Ash went down a lot easier than he does at the penthouse."

"Thanks for helping get him back to sleep. The hospital bed wasn't the most comfortable for him," said Heather. She braced herself, glancing at the onions she was chopping to add to the meal. "Did you and Nancy want to stay for dinner?"

Malcolm shook his head. "I'm glad to know he's okay, but we should head back. My mother can still make her corporate ski trip in Mount Komorebi if we get on the Simmerloop before rush hour."

He glanced at the table and spotted the half-completed preschool application. He looked up again to find Heather studying his expression.

"What are you thinking, Malcolm?"

He glanced between his mother and his ex, both headstrong in their own ways. "I want what's best for my son."

Heather waited until he left with his mother before she tossed out the application with the trash.

"I swear I could fight her, but I feel horrible enough already."

"I know she's...intense. But I think she's as shocked as you are," said Conrad.

"Nancy has a right to be upset? I have a right to be upset!"

"Of course you do! I just mean, don't pick a fight with her over the application. It's gone now, right? Hopefully she'll calm down and won't bring it up again."

Heather scowled. "Private preschool! The second Nancy gets her hands on my son's education, she'll ship him off to boarding school in Champs les Sims, just like his father. I'll never allow it!"

"I love you, and I'm only saying this because I love you, but maybe Ash needs to go back to his old daycare. It was a freak accident, no one's fault."

"They weren't watching him!"

"They were, but they looked away for one second. Do you know how many cases I've dealt with where something happened in the blink of an eye that changed everything? Ash is lucky, but you can't dwell on what might have been."

"I'll take him to work with me for a while, until I know Dr. Serra was right and he's okay. He loves the animals."

Conrad shook his head. "It's not going to be stimulating enough for him and you know that. And you can't do your best work watching him over your shoulder all day."

"I have to keep him safe!"

"You do keep him safe. No one keeps him safer than you, but if you hold on too tight now you'll end up holding on too tight forever. Like Nancy."

That was all she needed to hear to force her to swallow her pride. Despite her fears after his accident, she knew he needed to spend his days with kids his own age and made plans to send him back to daycare.

Heather's busy work life would continue to compete with the needs of her family, but she was determined to find a way to manage both. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

[medstudentblues]

it's the first day of my new rotation -- community of family medicine! i just accomplished my outside rotation. the last two weeks have been lighter compared to our 1 week in a public hospital somewhere in pasig, but the hospital i just rotated in came with its own challenges.

i was decked in ward 4 (onco/hema) ward where there are lots of leukemia patients (as mentioned in this post). then ward 8 where i stayed longer. ward 8 is the surgery ward where i was decked with a notorious resident who was rumored to throw a test tube at a junior intern but we were good when we worked together. we became close she bought ice cream for us and even asked for perfume recommendations. it wasn't so bad!

ward 8 was also full of interesting cases. i was able to handle neonates with omphalocele, gastroschisis, hirschsprung disease etc. it wasn't as depressing as the oncology ward, but it was humid (as the doctor's quarters weren't airconditioned). there is more room compared to the oncology ward so the relatives either sleep on the floor or beside the patient. i heard that some patients code (meaning, we have to resuscitate/revive them), especially neonates with multiple congenital anomalies, but there weren't any during my shift. some children came in just for the surgery (inguinal hernia, ruptured appendicitis) then was discharged after. some didn't stay long compared to the onco ward children who spends their life in hospitals.

i was excited during my pedia surgery ward rotation because i love surgery, i love scrubbing in surgical cases. i was waiting for an open heart surgery but i was on night duty when they had an operation scheduled :-( i was able to scrub in, however, in a bag insertion in a patient with gastroschisis. it was interesting.

my rotation ended with me being pulled from neonatal ICU to the hema/onco ward again. i was pulled out because a kid with myelodysplastic syndrome need to be monitored. she was on DNR (do not resuscitate). she was grunting, had high fever (Tmax 41C), and was seizing every now and then. when i got there at 8pm, everything was up (her temperature, heart rate, and respiratory rate). we advised tepid sponge bath to the mother after ordering an antipyretic, to which she complied, and had units of platelet concentrate standby. in the past few days, this kid was receiving platelet concentrates because her platelets were consistently, extremely low, to the point that she already had intracranial hemorrhage. this kid has polydactyly (with extra fingers) and trisomy 8. her mouth was red from the mucosal bleeding.

at 2 in the morning, she expired. the mother called me because her breathing seemed slow so i ran to the patient and immediately checked her heartbeat. my adrenaline was up, thinking of all the possibilities that could come after (basic life support sequence), but then i remembered that kid was on DNR, and that made me melancholic. i listened to the heartbeat and from 164 just an hour ago, it was 64. i checked the radial pulse and it was really thready, almost next to nothing. after a few more seconds, i listened to the heartbeat again and there was nothing i could hear. i informed the parents that their kid just expired and informed the hospitalist (junior consultant) on duty that the kid just died.

this time, i wasn't on the verge of tears like the last time a kid died on my shift. this time i was rational, i was thinking of what came after -- the papers that had to be prepared and submitted and the doctors i had to inform. i offered my condolences to the parents and left them to grieve. there is only so much i could do.

the hospitalist told me, "you don't have to monitor a kid hourly now," and i did not say anything. for me that kid was not an hourly monitoring hurdle for me. that kid's initials was A,D. that kid liked soup and stew. she was born with trisomy 8, myelodysplastic syndrome, and had polydactyly. her mother told me she was a good kid. and she just left this world, and a hole in her parents' heart.

[hillbilly---man]

Random Tumblr Ask Question:

What would you do if you went into your kitchen, and found a living clone of yourself?

Context: This person is YOU from this morning, but instead of doing the tasks you did, they were in the kitchen. For all other purposes, they're you. They're not an imposter, they have your memories etcetc.

This is such an interesting question!

I think after trying to figure out HOW it happened and also verifying somehow that it's real, the two of us would have to sit down together and figure out how we were going to work this out.

Putting it under a cut bc it got really long lmfao

Assuming that the other me is here to stay, we'd need to come up with some way of differentiating ourselves. It would be really arrogant to act as if I'm the original (I'm sure the other me feels the same way), so something like Jessica 1 & Jessica 2 wouldn't work. Maybe we color code ourselves?

We would have the logistical challenge of basically existing in two places at once. We only have one social security number, one car, one bed, one job, etc. Obviously I'd tell my friends and family about this, but it could get complicated when it comes to official things. We'd probably have to legally continue living as one person.

And share the bed, unfortunately. (There's a guest bed but it's not as nice as my bed lmao)

I'm tempted to be like.. "we can take turns going to work!" But it would be difficult. I have a hard enough time keeping track of shit at work as it is .. I don't need to be literally absent half the time too. Maybe we can take turns on a quarterly basis. One of us would probably spend time doing a side hustle of some sort while the other is at work. It couldn't be a full second job (with a schedule) unless the hours were outside of my own work hours; it might look suspicious/fraudulent. The additional income would help pay for the increased food/bills/etc.

On a ... More unfortunate note, we'd have to share medication. Most of what I take is no big deal. We'll let the one working in the office have the vyvanse. We'll supplement the prescription vitamins with OTC stuff. I guess we'd alternate doses of the MS medication (and other stuff) and cross our fingers that nothing bad happens from being under-medicated lol. We'll alternate MRIs and doctors appointments too. Hopefully nothing happens to one of us medically that makes our records inconsistent; if that happened I guess the affected one gets to keep going to that doctor

When it comes to social engagements, I think we'd have to take turns. I think I'm probably kind of dull sometimes and annoying at other times, so I wouldn't want to subject my friends to two of me at once. Not to mention that a lot of things cost money, and it's not always in my budget to pay double for stuff.

I guess we'd have to come up with some system of deciding whose turn it is for things. Coin flips, random number generators, tests of skill? Not only for events and stuff, but also for stuff like who gets to keep the cell phone and who has to buy another one. Who gets to keep the Tumblr account and who has to make a new one? I wouldn't mind y'all knowing, but sharing an account would probably get confusing and people might confuse us for a DID system (which to be clear isn't a bad thing, it just wouldn't be accurate)

Big decisions would have to be up for discussion. Are we applying for a new job? Are we trading the car in? Where should we move to? I imagine it would be kind of like being married, but to a more controlling extent than I think would be healthy in a marriage. We'd need to agree on tattoos, piercings, haircuts, hair dye...

Oh, we'd also have to start discussing our days and try to keep records so we can keep things straight

Actually, it might just be easier to buy a fake identity off the dark web or something. This is complicated

Thanks for the fascinating question to ponder!!

[baconpncakes]

Amber Lives AU - Part 2

(read part 1)

Amber survived the bus crash! House found a way to save her but still feels responsible for her injuries, so Wilson and Cuddy guilt him into helping her get back on her feet.

Please accept the following vignettes of silliness and genuine human connection between characters who deserve it. Also lesbianism.

~

House comes into Amber's room to check on her while his team runs tests.

Amber: "What's wrong with your patient?" House: "Well, she's got a case of terminal bitchiness." She rolls her eyes. A: "Your other patient." H: "My team has a case. I am playing babysitter." A: "C'mon, House. I have a concussion. I can't work. I can't read for extended periods of time and I'm banned from screens. I know you're as bored in here as I am." H: "...Patient is thirty-five years old. Presenting with-"

~

Amber: “I don't blame you, you know.” House: "....." A: "It was my choice to go pick you up. My choice to follow you onto the bus after you told me not to." H: "...." A: "You weren't driving that truck, House."

~

House: “You’re moping. What’s the matter?” Amber: “I’m not moping. I’m bored.” H: “Bored in a hospital? And you call yourself a doctor. I’d have you do my clinic hours if I thought we could get away with it.” A: “I would love to see Cuddy hunt you down after finding me down there.” H: “But seriously. What’s the mood about?” A: “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you care.” H: “You’re acting weird. I’m curious.” A: “Can’t figure it out on your own?” H: “Probably could. But your life is terrible for a lot of reasons right now and I don’t really feel like narrowing it down.” A: “...I haven’t had any visitors.” H: “What are you talking about? The team came.” A: “Out of pity! Because they'd feel bad if they didn't come. Nobody here likes me and that's fine. I don't need them to." H: “......”

~

House sits by Amber's bedside, brow furrowed, chin and hands resting on his cane, deep in thought. He’s looking at Amber’s leg, as if he can see her stitches through the sheet.

Amber: "...My leg is going to be fine." House: "What?" A: "I know that's what you're worried about. You think that you've crippled me. You think you've ruined my life and turned me into you. Well, you haven't. Even if my leg never fully heals, it wouldn't ruin my life." H: "......Guess we aren't the same after all."

~

House is alone in his office, his mind is clearly worlds away. Cuddy enters.

Cuddy: "Are you okay?" House: "One patient is dying and I don't know why and the other one is a doctor, notoriously the greatest people to treat. I'm totally psyched. Can't you tell from my radiant smile?" C: "I know we said that you should help Amber-" H: "No. You guilted me into keeping her company." C: "-but that doesn't mean you need to spend all of your time here! For god's sake House you've barely left at all since she woke up." H: "I have two patients. You should be thrilled I'm spending so much time here." C: "I'm worried. You can't keep going like this House. You're still recovering." H: "The stimulation didn't do any damage. I'm fine." C: "House." He looks at her. C: "You were on that bus too." He keeps looking. She repeats herself, softer this time. C: "Are you okay?" He looks away.

~

House sits down at Wilson’s lunch table.

House: "Does Amber have any friends other than you?" Wilson: "Are you doing that thing where you confuse yourself with Amber? I have to say it's getting old. Don't you have any new material?" H: "I'm not kidding." W: "Neither am I! The gag has run its course!"

~

Thirteen sits in Amber’s room, reading a book. Amber stares at her. There’s no indication of how long this has been going on.

Amber: "Why are you here?" Thirteen: "I thought you could use some company." A: "Out of everyone here, you have the most right to hate me." 13: "Well I don't." A: "But you don't like me." 13: "You tried to make me question my sanity by taunting me with reminders of the patient I killed. To get a job.” A: "You won in the end. I got fired. You got to stay." 13: "So that makes it all go away? I won, you lost, so we'll call it a wash?" A: "I didn't say that! ...Like I said. You have every right to hate me." 13: "And like I said. I don't." A: “....” 13: “Besides, you’re the one who told House that you hated me.” A: “Spirit of competition. You should be flattered that I considered you worthy of my hate.” 13: “Of course, my mistake.”

~

House: "So. You tried to pick a fight with Thirteen." Amber: "She told you?" H: "Nope! But I know she was in here earlier. And after our conversation earlier it doesn’t seem like something you’d just let slide." Amber nods, relenting to his point. H: "You don't like pity. I get it. But if you think that’s what they’re doing, you’re wrong." A: "Please. Why else would they come here? You sure as hell didn't tell them to. And I'd like to think James is more subtle than that." H: "Obligation maybe. That's what it is for Taub and Foreman at least. For Kutner, I think it's genuine concern. For Thirteen? My guess is curiosity. Could be concern. Maybe even this empathy I've been hearing so much about." A: "Since when are people allowed to have pure motivations?" H: "...Did even half of those motivations sound pure to you?" Amber looks at him for a moment. A: "You are hellbent on showing me that it's not pity. You want me to think they're good people, because you believe that they are. You need me to think that they don't pity me and that they don't hate me, because if they don't hate me or pity me after all I've done then there's a chance they don't hate or pity you either."

~

H: "Wilson must be the worst boyfriend ever. Why am I spending more time in here than him these days."  A: "Very funny. He's just taking some space. He still visits, because of course he does, but I don't exactly blame him for not being here every second."  H: "What are you talking about? You almost died. Doesn't feel like Mr. Needy would want to be away from you after that."  A: "Oh shit. He hasn't told you."  H: "Hasn't told me what?"  A: "..." H: "Oh my god. You guys broke up."  A: "Yes."  H: "After all of this! You break up? What the hell happened?"  A: "Dying changes everything. I was dead, House. Legally, medically dead. And it made me realize some things. I love James and I always will. But he's not what I need."  H: "You really are a cutthroat bitch! Do you have any idea what he sacrificed for you?"  A: "I do. And I know how much that hurts you. Because it is you. And you are everything to him. He was willing to sacrifice everything for me! And even then I still didn't feel how I should!"  H: "What does that even mean!"  A: "Oh my god, House! I'm gay! I'm a lesbian! I can never love James as much as I should because he's not a woman!"  H: "...Give me a minute to process this before I start making jokes about the best relationship of Wilson's life being with a lesbian." A: "I should send a warning before you leave. Give him a chance to prepare himself.”

~

It’s late. House solved the case and his team started the treatment. House went to tell Wilson that his failed lesbian relationship solved the case and is now going to Amber’s room to tell her the same thing. Only when he enters, Thirteen is already there.

Unlike earlier, where she was in a seat a few feet from the bed, lounged back with a book in her hands, this time she’s sat right at the bedside, leaned forward, actually engaging with Amber.

H: “Didn’t realize you were double-booked.” 13: “Sorry, I was just updating Amber on the case.” H: “The case that I solved.” 13: “That’s debatable.”  H: “My epiphany.” 13: “That I had six hours ago before you dismissed it.”  H: “It was stupid six hours ago. If you really believed it, you would have defended it. Which you couldn’t.”  Both women roll their eyes. Amber addresses Thirteen. A: “As entertaining as this is, you better check on your patient.” House cuts Thirteen off before she can start talking. H: “Nope. Kutner is monitoring tonight. Thirteen is off the clock.”  Amber blinks in surprise and looks to Thirteen as if to confirm that House isn’t lying. Thirteen squints at the stupid grin on House’s face and then looks away and shrugs. 13: “Just wanted to drop by. But I probably should get going.” She turns to Amber. 13: “I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe by then you’ll feel well enough and stay awake long enough to read something.” Thirteen picks up the book that she was reading earlier and places it on Amber’s bedside table. She gives her a small smile and leaves. House watches Amber watch Thirteen leave. Amber realizes that she’s being watched. She scoffs at House. A: “It’s like you think she’s the only bi woman in the world.” House nods at the book beside her. H: “People like you.”

[mbrainspaz]

remembering why I stopped going to the doctor years ago. So far it's gone like this: I went to a doctor someone recommended, they gave me the inhaler I needed at least (wish I could've just gone and bought myself the meds I knew I needed but nooooo), diagnosed another issue I needed help with, and referred me. The next doctor cost more money to tell me that the first doctor was right, but that I needed to see another doctor to confirm. That doctor said actually the last two doctors were wrong, but didn't have a clue what was actually going on. "Like idk maybe try CAT scans or something? Doctor no. 2 will call you back to follow up." Dr 2 has not called. Oh, and let's not forget the third doctor did a bunch of tests that hurt like hell and they had the nerve to interrogate me about 'why I was so down.' I hate it when doctors ask me that. I DUNNO BUB maybe I hate wasting all my time and money being processed like a slab of meat by scammy medical institutions that never actually help me?! Also I filled in your stupid form and admitted I had depression—what did you expect? They don't even read those damn things I swear. So now I've spent over $200 and wasted a total of about 10 hours running around town just to be exactly where I was before I talked to a doctor. It's so goddamn useless. Last time I spent $600 to get told I had bad knees and needed a surgery I couldn't afford. I already knew that! Now I've got another appointment this morning and I called the office (wasted 10 minutes just getting past the answering robot) to ask about the fasting the doctor told me to do for bloodwork—only to be told this wasn't an appointment for that. no no, this is just a 'follow up'. WHY?! So she can double check that I didn't die of an asthma attack in the meantime? I swear if I drive through houston traffic for 2 hours and pay another $25 just for this person to ask me how I've been breathing lately I'm done. I'm done. I'm dropping the whole thing. I'm just gonna accept that it's my lot in life to live like a 14th century peasant and hope I die of natural causes. I'll find some leeches in the creek and take some weird herbs and hope for the best. I don't even know what's going on with the insurance company because they emailed me asking me to pay another $25 copay for an appointment I already paid $50 for in person, so now I've gotta waste time and precious energy calling them to make sure there wasn't a stupid mistake, and if they say there wasn't then I just have to accept the extortion. And I've gotta keep signing all the stupid forms every time saying I'll pay I'll pay I'll pay. For WHAT? If I can never get actual medical care that fixes or alleviates the problems I'm dealing with what the hell am I paying for?! If I went to any other business and paid for a service and they failed to provide it I could demand to have my money back! But these hacks get to be like "well if you don't want to sign over your entire bank account enjoy your free human right to suffer and die lol." My elbow hurts like hell from writing this and half my hand is numb but the gods only know why. Anyway, here I go, off to spend another 2 hours and at least $25 but probably more than that on some more bullshit.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

since i have started this whole therapy/unmasking thing i have had the worst time getting myself to focus on work and get done what i need to get done

it’s like a switch has flipped and one minute all i ever do is work and try to get caught up on work and stay on top of everything to where now i just had to finish up what i didn’t get done during the week because i just...could not

i even the other day tried to set aside the first half of my day just so i could focus on work and get all the important stuff done, but by the time i finished all the work from yesterday that absolutely needed to be done plus the work for the next day it was almost 2 in the afternoon

still, i stopped and took a break, did a little work out, took a shower, all of that and naturally as i’m like, “see, now we can just take the rest of the day nice and easy and still get everything done without stressing” i see an email that’s like, “oh, btw everyone needs to be logged off by 6:45 pm today, IT needs to do something”

so then i had to scramble to get shit done instead of being able to take my time and ended up getting all stressed out again anyway

i’ve heard a lot of people say that while going through this process they take time off work for a while and i really wish that i could, but i just don’t know how, i already have to be a week ahead on all my charts just to take a week off, i can’t imagine how much work i’d have to do to take two weeks off or even a month

my last vacation was spent being so sick i could barely even walk so i really, really, really could use some kind of break i just feel like i haven’t even had a second to stop and think about it

and on top of that, i think my dad’s getting sicker

one of his doctors is really concerned about his test results lately and wants him to make these urgent appointments with his other doctors for next week so i guess we’ll see what comes of that, i’m hoping it doesn’t end up being, “yeah, so the cancer’s starting to win now, sorry” but we were already playing with borrowed time as is, i guess so i’m just mentally trying to prepare for that

and while all of this is just...happening, yesterday i’m sitting outside trying to enjoy a little sliver of free time, turn my brain off and just not have to think about anything, i hear my parents calling for the dog

and normally that’s not too unusual, sometimes when he’s outside he’ll run a little too far and they have to yell for him to come back, but he always does

this time, though, they just keep calling and calling and calling so i go downstairs to see what’s up and he’s missing. the dog is missing.

i’m trying to ask like, “where did he go missing, did you see him run off? front yard or backyard?” but nobody knows, he just took off while they were outside apparently 

so...awesome.

my mom’s been drinking and my dad’s too tired so i have to get in my car and drive up and down the road looking for him.

i’ve got my windows rolled down, squeaky toy out the window calling his name and trying to lure him to me to no avail

i go back to the house and we spend some more time yelling for him and walking all around the property for him, but nothing

we finally go back inside and something tells me to just check his crate. seems like a long shot, but just check it

so i do and you’ll never fucking believe what i found in there!!!

the dog!!!

the dog we just spent well over an hour looking for!!!!

the dog who was there the entire time just snug in his bed, all settled in for the night

i’m not sure who put him to bed, my dad swears up and down that he didn’t, but my mom clearly had no recognition of having done it, but someone did because i know it wasn’t me and he can’t get himself in there and close it on his own soooooooooooooooooooo

i think she probably did it and with everything going on (plus drinking, of course) she didn’t remember and as much as i’m sure i should be like...i dunno, mad about it or at the very least frustrated i just feel tired

i feel really, really, really fucking tired

everything is so fucking exhausting all the time and nothing ever stops and i just want it to fucking stop

i’m trying to basically re-learn myself and what my limits are for just existing which is so fucking hard because i feel like i don’t know anything anymore

but i think the cherry that really is sitting on top of this bitch ice cream sundae, though, is that i had made a post on facebook a week or so ago, i think, basically just like, ‘hey, i’m autistic’ and this guy i went to high school with messaged me because he just found out too a couple of years ago so did i want to be friends and i was like, “yeah, of course!”

how nice, y’know, someone who’s just been through this process sorta offering a helping hand and i’ve isolated myself pretty badly so sure, let’s make a friend!!

now, maybe i’m being unfair here because i’m clearly going through a lot but i just get the impression that this is exactly like every other time i get randomly approached by some guy i went to school with where it’s like, “hey, i’m having a tough time but you’re a woman so can you take care of me??’

because he keeps dropping all these hints like yeah, he used to have a girlfriend who was really good about helping him understand all this stuff and yeah, it’s just been kinda hard lately and now he’s just sending me videos of what i’m guessing is his kid and i’ve just completely tapped out at this point

again, maybe i’m being unfair and even outright mean, but it really does seem like every single time i’m going through something hard in my life here comes some fucking guy holding emotional baggage in one hand and a baby in the other going, “Hey, do you want to listen to me talk about myself at great lengths while skimming over the things you say and can you also take care of me? Thanks!!”

No!!!!!! I can’t!!!!!!

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can barely take care of me anymore and still have so much other shit on my plate and i have no idea when i’ll ever get a break from any of this, please stop!!!!!!!

i want connection with other people and i know that’s important and i know i should be trying to foster it as much as i possibly can whenever given the chance but i just feel right now like i’m curled into a ball on the floor screaming, “please stop!!!” and yet there are all of these hand continuously reaching out at me and pulling at me and i don’t know what else i can possibly give, i feel so fucking empty

i want to be able to pour back into other people and be fun and generous and kind and all of those amazing things and i have tried to approach this whole thing with a big smile and optimism that does not naturally occur anywhere in my being because i thought maybe if everyone saw how i hard i was trying while trying to be a good sport about it all that maybe the universe would finally give me a fucking break but no!!!

my therapist gave me the warning this week that as i continue on through this process that it’s likely going to get harder simply because the more relaxed and at peace i feel, the more my mind is going to want to go, “okay, hey so now that we’re in a safe place i have some things i’d like to go over with you”

we even discussed what potential sleep meds i might need to go on because of sleep terrors and shit like that, so like...i’m trying to be as brave as i possibly can be about it and put this shit off for the longest because i was so fucking scared of it and now that i’m finally doing it, it’s like, “hey, did you want more bad things? it seems like you want more bad things, is that right? and more responsibility? wait, did you want both or...y’know what, you can have both, how’s that?”

i hate it and i want it to stop

i just want a fucking break, that’s all i want

[wellmedcenter061]

7 Natural Ways to Combat Back Pain in Bahrain Without the Need for Medication

Almost everyone knows someone who is affected by back pain. It's possible that you've experienced it yourself or may encounter it in the future. Recent studies highlight the widespread issue of work absenteeism due to back pain. Additionally, back pain can significantly impact your daily activities and overall well-being. For those in need of back and neck pain treatment in Bahrain, seeking professional care at trusted facilities like Wellmed Center can make a significant difference in managing and alleviating pain.

Back pain can persist anywhere from several days to weeks, often forcing you to pause your active lifestyle. As time goes on, you may experience recurring bouts, especially if you've had back pain before. However, it's possible to manage and prevent back pain early on by yourself. Learning how to naturally treat back pain can be incredibly useful.

In today's busy world, it may be difficult to seek professional help for back pain. Balancing remote work and household responsibilities can put additional strain on your body. Addressing the issue sooner rather than later can prevent much discomfort. Although your body has the ability to heal itself, there are several strategies to support recovery from back pain. Here are 7 natural ways to ease back pain:

1. Watch out for your posture

How you sit, stand, move, and work significantly impacts the health of your spine. Holding the same position for extended periods places uneven stress on the muscles and intervertebral discs surrounding your spine. Prolonged postures are also a common cause of back pain. Here’s what you should do to protect your posture:

Take regular breaks

Taking frequent breaks helps prevent unnecessary strain on your back muscles. Try taking a 5-minute stretch every few hours throughout your day. These brief pauses can significantly contribute to keeping your back pain-free.

Reorganize your workspace

Take note of where you spend the majority of your time each day. Reflect on whether you're able to maintain an upright spine for extended periods. If not, consider adjusting your workspace to ensure you're practicing proper posture while working.

Support your back

Maintaining proper posture all day can be challenging. Back supports can be easily used to help position your body correctly. This will assist in keeping your posture aligned and prevent any strain on your back.

2. Keep your body moving

Treating back pain involves strengthening the muscles surrounding your spine to alleviate pressure on your back. Staying active ensures your spine has the necessary muscle support. Activities such as jogging, swimming, yoga, or Pilates can help you stay fit. Focus on exercises that target and strengthen your core muscles to support your back better.

3. Eat well, live better

Maintaining a balanced diet at regular intervals helps prevent various lifestyle-related diseases. These conditions can sometimes hinder your recovery from back pain. Adopting healthy eating habits contributes to a better quality of life. Additionally, you can enhance your bone health by incorporating supplements into your diet. Consult with your doctor to recommend any bone and joint supplements that may be necessary, based on testing and your specific needs.

4. Rest well

Adequate rest is often overlooked when treating back pain. Failing to give your body enough rest between tasks or not getting enough sleep can significantly hinder your healing process. Aim to sleep for 7-8 hours each night. Taking regular short breaks throughout the day will help prevent overstraining your back.

5. Turn your lifestyle around

Back pain can impact every part of your life, from your professional duties to your recreational activities. Effectively treating back pain involves making several small yet significant adjustments to your lifestyle. Here are a few of those changes:

Mindful living

Practicing mindfulness can help manage back pain without the need for medication. Meditation, pain management strategies, and behavioral changes are valuable tools for effectively treating pain.

Tackle stress

Stress can provoke back pain when it is left unchecked. Tackling stress can help you control your back pain to quite an extent.

In conclusion, managing and relieving back pain requires a combination of mindful practices, lifestyle changes, and self-care strategies. By maintaining good posture, staying active, eating well, resting adequately, and managing stress, you can significantly improve your back health. For those in need of back and neck pain treatment in Bahrain, seeking professional help at trusted centers like Wellmed Center can provide additional support in your journey to recovery. Taking proactive steps early on can prevent future discomfort and help you lead a pain-free life.

[kayleafeon]

What to do when:

depressed

no motivation

have test on wednesday, midterm on thursday, quiz on friday that haven't studied for

have philosophy paper due friday already got week extension for haven't started yet

have computer science assignment due friday haven't started yet

can't start computer science assignment until past 4 completed, only done one so far

been sick for a week and and an extra weekend

mental health is trashed

completely torpedoed personal life a month ago over something really stupid

too anxious about everything to make progress on anything

also too anxious to talk to profs about struggling

can't even tell the whole story of why personal life torpedoed because of sensitive topics involved

no therapist and waitlists are 6 months+

have to go home and deal with family from friday evening through to wednesday morning next week, knowing they'll poke about personal life but not being able to explain fully because sensitive topics again

only real community you have is in the university city but not at the university and very far away from hometown with family

so overwhelmed you just shut down

can't stop deflecting and avoiding responsibilities

probably going to fail out of program

can't even care though because everything is meaningless and i don't even want to be in this program anyway

only reason i'm still here is because i like the program's student society and the ring that i get if i graduate

been spending money on lottery tickets instead of anything useful because the scratching noise is the only thing that calms you anymore

know that in posting this your sister and your ex might see it but don't know where else to go

could go to advice reddit but post would probably be removed by mods and/or people wouldn't give helpful advice

everything feels pointless anyway with world as it is atm

feel bad for not feeling worse about that and just being numb to it

also feel bad for not trying hard enough to make it better or to do better myself

kinda just want to stop existing but only to the point of somewhat reckless carelessness not any actual ideas

just need to write everything out somewhere because otherwise going to scream

also have doctor's appt next week that will change nothing because the family doctor is retiring and can't be bothered to switch medications, just increase dosages

which we've already tried twice and isn't helping btw

and this is how i'm feeling while on the antidepressants and adhd medication

only thing i actually want to do is sleep and kinda strangely donate blood but i can't do the latter for another 2 months

sounding increasingly unhinged as post continues

oh i guess i also want to play league but i've managed to stick to my conviction of not allowing kernel level anticheats on my laptops for almost a year and it's kinda the only thing i've got going for me at this point

missed out on the one community i enjoy's events for two events in a row because sick

writing this all during a cs lecture because i can't even pretend that i am focused or understand what's going on

know that this is probably enough info to doxx me but can't bring myself to care

kinda hope one of my classmates or profs find this

feel bad about eating out a lot because of public speaking presentation from yesterday

likewise about not exercising because of my own group's public speaking presentation from last week

need to respond to people who were going to play pandemic legacy campaign with me to say it's cancelled because im too depressed

also need to read stuff for philosophy class in <1 hour but can't be bothered

might just talk to my philosophy prof about everything because she's pretty chill and it's a small class and it's not required for me to graduate so i can always drop the class if needed

also really don't want to fail the term though because it would fuck up scheduling with the few people that i actually know and i would just be even more alone

wish i could just start on things before they were due but can't even manage that after failing two courses last term

why can't i make my stupid brain learn

i want to just live at home and sleep and do nothing all day but living at home is even more stressful because my mom is always making me clean stuff if i'm "not doing anything important" and gets mad if i say that i'm too mentally exhausted from existing

could just leave and go sleep at the park nearby but then i'd be too out in the open

esp seeing as that park is very interlinked with my trauma

but also just don't want to have to deal with any people at all whatsoever

desk leaving angry red marks on my forearms while i type but can't be bothered to change my position

wanna go back to before i had awareness of the world around me and/or quarantine times when staying home doing nothing was normal

hate hate hate adult life i don't want it why can't i just be a child of a billionaire who is set for life in terms of money but doesn't have to talk to anyone including parents

why can't i just motivate myself like everyone else

realize i sound very much like an angsty 14 year old and hate myself even more for it

how does everyone else manage

actually found myself staring at the kitchen knives at a convenience store and thinking about how relieving it would be to run the edge of one over my skin and let myself bleed just a little bit before realizing how fucked up that is and forcing myself to walk away from the aisle

don't understand how my mental health has gotten this bad, it doesn't make any sense

why is it worse now than when i figured out what had actually happened was traumatic i thought i had processed most of it why now why now why now it doesn't make sense

i just want everything to stop, just for a moment, please

If you have any advice please share because idk what to do atp.

[all-about-china]

Chinese Education

China has educational hierarchy that starts with the basic education tear. It is law that all children go through basic education for at least 9 years. Basic education is composed of 3 years of pre-school starting at the age of 3. After that, there is primary education which is 6 years. The third part of basic education is called secondary education which is another 6 years. After the basic education, they are usually around the age of 18. But unlike an American high school, the secondary education portion is split into two possible routes. After 3 years of secondary, teens go into the last three years which are these listed two possible areas of focus. A test determines which route the students will go.

Route 1: Specialized technical school: 2-4 years of training for the field that one is placed in.

Route 2: Academic 'senior' secondary education: 3 more years of academic schooling. After this, students can either take a National Higher Education Entrance exam for higher education. If they choose to leave school, this is also another plausible exit point. If students continue on to higher education, they'll go to a college institution where they can get a four or five year degree. Pursuing more education after a baccalaureate program, one could go into a doctoral program or post-doctoral program.

Public schooling in China is free, however supplementary material that Chinese parents often seek aren't included with the schooling. The uniforms, extra curriculars, and tutoring is not included.

What does the typical school day look like for a Chinese student? They spend from around 7:30 am to 5:00 pm. They have a two-hour long lunch break each day. The school week is central to the work week, so Monday to Friday is spent in school. However, Saturday is spent with tutors or exam prep classes to prepare for the several entrance exams. Sunday is the rest day from the academics. Comparing American school system to the Chinese school system, China's is more rigorous. There is great societal and parental pressures on the child to do well on each college entrance exam. 

According to a 2022 world statistics study, there is 36 million university students in China, half doing a short-cycle education and half doing a four-year undergraduate degree. In 2022, there was 9 million students who graduated from public universities. Over half, around 51% of these students are female, which is similar to United States college and university proportions. When posing the question of who goes to college in terms of urban and rural areas, I've found that if a child lives and works on a farm, they're expected to continue on with the family farm.

-AL