medstudentblues

[medstudentblues]

12.20.24

currently in what turned out to be our favorite cafe!!!! life is good. 🎄 having breakfast here before I go back to the hospital at around 9am. I’m thriving this week! been working out regularly and studying. and I am still in love with internal medicine.

[medstudentblues]

11.22.24 Slow Days: A Quiet Escape from the Chaos of Medicine

Sometimes, the best moments come in the smallest of pauses — those rare times when you can step outside the rush of your everyday life and simply be. Today was one of those days.

After a canceled conference and a nap to recover from a lingering migraine, I spent the afternoon trying to reconnect with myself outside the hospital walls. My partner and I had an impromptu lunch instead of our planned dinner, an easy choice since I was already feeling hungry. We ventured to a hidden bar in a quaint spot, but the noise quickly became overwhelming for me. I realized how much I value quiet spaces, and we decided to move to a cozy cafe upstairs. There, we sat with a beautiful view of the cathedral — a place that always feels like home, with its timeless architecture. Churches have a way of grounding me, reminding me of something bigger than the chaos around me.

Over lunch (which was Japanese food and Coke — simple but satisfying), my partner shared an interesting podcast he’d listened to about the dangers journalists face today. It got me thinking. If I weren’t a doctor, maybe I’d be pursuing journalism, exploring the world with the same curiosity and urgency. It was a bit of a ‘what if’ moment, though my thoughts felt scattered and disorganized in the midst of everything.

We ended up taking a walk to a historic site — the place where our national hero was imprisoned the day before his execution. The air wasn’t too hot, though my feet ached from walking, I found solace in the slow pace of the day. I took plenty of photos, trying to reclaim parts of myself that have been buried in the busyness of medicine. I miss my hobbies, the simple things that used to bring me joy.

The evening wound down by the Pasig River, watching birds glide over the water. It wasn’t the perfect end to the day, but it was meaningful. There’s something peaceful about taking time to just sit, observe, and let the world unfold at its own pace.

I know that I want more days like this in the future. Days that are slower, more reflective, where I can live in the moment without the weight of constant urgency. I want to practice medicine, but I also want to live. And perhaps, in time, I’ll find a way to do both — even if that means being somewhere else, somewhere I can strike that balance.

For now, I hold onto today’s quiet moments, grateful for the peace and clarity they bring.

[medstudentblues]

Would you be willing to talk more about what you called "neuro rotation" a post or two ago? It sounds interesting and like it might be helpful

i hope you find my latest post helpful 🙏🏼

[medstudentblues]

what’s the app you used in your last post for studying?

ypt!! :)

[medstudentblues]

11.21.24

can it be really 1 week left before december? time just keeps passing by. i live day to day, measured by how well i’m doing clinically, how well i did life things - did i workout this week? did i eat well? did i journal? did i study? if not i tell myself it’s okay. my job and schedule are inhumane. it’s a miracle i’m doing so well. it’s a miracle my peers think i’m great - but i’m feeling so exhausted. i have to always tell myself to slow down, to relax, to just breathe.

so how have i been lately?

after my OB rotation which was tiring in itself, i did my LO (coordinator - liason officer) job and it was crazy in its own. i tried my best to make it most fun, but we were exhausted. i really enjoyed neurology though despite its toxicity. i love localizing the lesion in the brain, i love the thinking. we had a case of ischemic stroke and was there within the golden period of giving altaplase (something to lyse to clot) and from being almost dead-like, not moving, i saw her the next day alive, walking, just having finished her bath. and it felt good, you know? a miracle. with just a medication, a sister, a mother, a grandma, was alive and kicking, ready to face another decade or so of her life. neuro was surely something, but it was exhausting. we were overbooked. we were spent.

and now here we are in our psychiatry rotation. where the schedule is so much better and the workload is very light. it’s the emotional aspect that it’s heavy but we are managing. lately we had been getting ER calls, college students, some with suicide attempts. some from abusive backgrounds. it’s just. it never ends. but we have to move on. this is our only time to breathe before yet another grueling major rotation in Internal Medicine. we have to make do. so i spend my days studying, working out, and spending time with my beau and dog.

life is okay so far. i hope i survive.

[medstudentblues]

11.20.24

current rotation: psychiatry

currently studying!!! i was from PM duty last night (7pm-7am) and had to stay until 12PM today due to conferences. this is the only thing i hate about being a doctor — the inhumane schedule. i had a take out when i got back, showered, and ate it on bed while i watched game of thrones!!! i fell asleep after. now i’m just studying before i sleep. the cleaning can wait tomorrow.

psych rotation is for recovering, gathering one’s self. perhaps i’ll talk about it more in a post. i want to be more active here despite my schedule (re: study, thoughts on rotations) because i got msgs asking about my rotation and i’m sorry i haven’t replied yet!!! i have just been so insanely busy. i will get to them, yes yes.

but for now i shall study, and maybe watch another game of thrones episode before i sleep!

[medstudentblues]

sometimes the tragedy of distance is very simple. i want to get groceries with you

[medstudentblues]

The beauty of living in a walkable city is that when you feel sad you can just walk and walk and walk till you stumble upon a place that makes you feel better

[medstudentblues]

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1988)

[medstudentblues]

11.09.24

I’m slowly getting back my life this neuro rotation. I swam this morning. got a haircut!!! and then now I’m studying before I go to the hospital later for my PM duty.

[medstudentblues]

11.08.24

a little study session today since I’m off!! was also able to workout and that makes me happy. I’ve also been binge-watching totally spies, my fave childhood cartoon, in youtube

[medstudentblues]

“Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made.”

— Tyler Kent White

[medstudentblues]

José Olivarez, from my therapist says make friends with your monsters

[medstudentblues]

[medstudentblues]

10.13.24

happy sunday!!!!! i am very happy i am off today. tho i have to go to the hosp for malignancy teaching rounds. but it’s fine!! all for the learnings. for today i will just do laundry, workout, rest, and study.

[medstudentblues]

10.10.24

i can’t believe it’s already october 10th. days are just passing by!!! but !!! i love love where i am. i’m happy where i am even though sometimes i’m tired. i attended a pre-op conference this morning and i got asked lol. thankfully it was just a simple question: the indications and contraindications for vaginal birth after CS that i was able to answer.

then i had breakfast with my beau in a nearby café. i did my journaling there. was hoping i could study but the envt isn’t really conducive for studying. i prefer to study these days at home. now i’m on my bed, about to do my anki cards 💀 hopefully i’ll nap before my PM duty!

[medstudentblues]

i’ve accepted that i won’t be able to nap anymore… so i just did my daily journaling, sipping my protein drink, enjoying the sun in my balcony, and i’ll probably iron my clothes soon and prepare for PM duty 🎀

10.05.24

i just finished doing anki for hours (quite a load to catch up to because i studied a lot yesterday) and now i want to nap before my PM OB ER duty. i’m happy and grateful, despite the toxicness of every duty. despite our emergency OR yesterday that lasted until 530am. i really feel like i’m in the right place.