#where one of the parents does the noble sacrifice for the child

[thedisdainfullysilentvisitor]

If there had been useable magic in storybrooke in the S1 finale and it was possible to transfer the sleeping curse, Emma would've done it for Henry in a second, and Regina would have let her. And then she'd have erased Henry's memory of everything.

[madamealys]

Imagine Aemond and Aegon Targaryen take you as their wife. (+21)

***

The king is on the throne room, listening to the babbling of his nobles. Today’s topic concerns the marriage of his sons. Since the queen only delivered him boys, Viserys is not inclined to search for a bride that is not a Targaryen. And despite the strong protests of his wife, there is a good solution for it that might also appeal to his brother, Daemon, as well as that follows the Targaryen tradition: betrothing his daughter to Aegon.

In the meantime this occurs, whilst the solution is agreed between the king and the council, no one can foretell what a simple arrangement might result. And so whilst they are leaving in discussions concerning Aemond’s betrothal, let us take a look at what is happening outside these quarters.

Notwithstanding the fact that you are the daughter of the feared and powerful Daemon Targaryen, who took residence at Dragonstone with his sister-wife Rhaenyra Targaryen, you are everything he is not.

Sweet tempered, gentle, kindhearted and good. Your wit is as sharp as any sword, your tongue, when provoked, cut as hard as any iron. You are patient, often tolerant to others flaws. This makes you a great companion to all.

As the only daughter of Prince Daemon and Princess Rhaenyra, it does surprise to those who know them for a long while that you came up with a different personality. Regardless, they spoil you and only want the best for you. And Daemon knows that by the time of your marriage age, he is not marrying you to anyone. Perhaps your father is aiming higher than you know.

You’ve grown close to your brothers: Jace being close to you in age has always been your twin. But you were also close to Luce, a sort of mother to Joffrey, Viserys and Aegon. Being the only lady amidst these men also meant that you were very protective by them.

Now years went by and you are a well formed women, whose uncle requested you to spend some time at court—probably in ignorance of the plans arranged for you between him and your parents.

Your oldest brother, Jacaerys, is already married to his cousin Baela Velaryon, all the whilst Lucerys is married to her sister, Rhaena. Joffrey is betrothed to Sara Stark, and even Viserys and Aegon are about to be betrothed to some good noble lady. You remain unmarried, though.

This idea does not occupy your thoughts for many times since you prefer to spend your time helping your mother, with whom you are very close, and flying your dragon, Dreamfyre. Due to your introspective and intense nature, it is in the air where you feel mostly… free and wild, a side you like to keep to yourself.

But ever since you’ve been summoned by the king, you suspect your liberty and wilderness are about to be end. Resigned to your sense of duty—for duty means to sacrifice who you are, or part of it anyways—, you speak nothing of the matter.

“Remember, my daughter, who you truly are”, your mother, who is carrying another child in her belly, speaks to you in the day you are departing to King’s Landing next to your father. “A Targaryen, no more, no less. Equal to all.”

You understand that she and the Queen Alicent do not always see eye to eye. The subtle warning is there, but you too have your share of pride. You smile.

“I shall not disappoint you, mother.”

“I know you won’t. You are my daughter, every bit of me is in you.”

That saying, Rhaenyra kisses your forehead and you are finally ready to leave.

***

Aegon is waiting impatiently for his betrothal. With Aemond by his side, both brothers can only conjecture about the cousin whom they last saw when everyone was a toddler. Both recollect you differently: Aegon judged you as a child who had weird interests; but Aemond understood you as someone who had a very interesting side underneath a gentle demeanor.

“I hope you do your duty well, Aegon”, muses Aemond thoughtfully.

“How else should I do? I am the heir to the Iron Throne. I am not allowed to forget that”, and then Aegon shoots an amusing glance to his younger brother. “What a shame the crown cannot be shared with you, though.”

Aemond limits himself to a roll of eyes, but Aegon knows he agrees with his sarcastic remark. But soon they are distracted of their small talk for the heavy iron doors of the Red Keep are about to open, with the King’s herald announcing your name and your father’s.

Every sound dies before such announcement, but what matters is how you are seen by your betrothed. Aegon looks astonished by the woman you’ve blossomed to. Your silver locks tied in perfectly braid seem to reinforce your heart-shaped face, whose intent lilac eyes mirror innocence.

Your rosy lips open shyly in an inviting smile, and Aegon cannot help wonder what it would be like to kiss you. It doesn’t really help that your black gown reinforces your curves.

Aemond too cannot help lingering his gaze on you. A damsel in every sense of the word, you are like a character of the novels he used to read as a child. Fond memories of the time spent together in this period rush in the back of his mind.

Lovely as always, he thinks to himself, suddenly aching for the idea of never having you. But… he cannot help himself either, can he? Must Aemond be the second in everything, a shadow of his brother?

“Greetings, niece!”, King Viserys smiles down at his brother’a child. He leaves the table to greet you properly, and Daemon is smirking proudly in response. The rogue prince is more than aware of the attentions you caught, specially of two royal princes, which only fuels his ego.

His ambitions will fruit, he knows.

“Your Grace, my uncle”, you dip to a curtsy. “I appreciate your warm welcome.”

“Soon we will be united as one once again. Tradition shall follow like has always been dictated since the days of Old Valyria”, boasts King Viserys. “Y/N is such a pearl, brother. How on earth did you manage to produce a lovely daughter?”

“A question I often ask myself, brother”, says Daemon, proudly. “She is my only girl, very precious to us. We don’t expect a marriage that is below of the prize she is.”

“Father!”, you protest shyly.

“Don’t be too humble, daughter. It’s the true”, he smirks at you, gently ruffling your hair. “We must always be aware of who we are.”

“Then let us celebrate this union. I notice our sister hasn’t come. What happened?”

“Rhaenyra is heavily pregnant, in due time to labor now.”

Whilst they exchange amenities, you are heading to your seat when Aegon comes to greet you. This tall, handsome man, whose looks mirror yours, astonishes you with such a charm that your knees go weak.

It doesn’t really help your case that Aemond is promptly joined by his side. You blush.

“My lords”, you curtsy graciously. “I appreciate the warm welcome.”

“My lady”, greets Aegon, pompously. “How different you look.”

“Forgive my brother”, subtly Aemond meddles in the conversation. “He lacks gallantry when it comes to words. You have grown to a beautiful woman, cousin.”

You detest how the presence of these two men affect you. Worse, that not only your betrothed allures you, but so does his brother.

Aegon flushes, irritated with how poetic Aemond is towards you.

“How could I when a beauty like our dear Y/N stands before us? A mortal could not voice out the most proper form to express such an awe.”

“Oh, please. I am unworthy of these praises though I deeply appreciate them. Shall we enjoy the rest of the evening together? I have missed the company of you both for a while.”

You smile. And soon subtle rivalries dissolve. How could they deny you anything?

***

It’s been a curious, unspoken agreement that you arranged with Aegon and Aemond. The mornings are spent with the latter and the evenings with the former. The evening you spend by your soon to be mother-in-law, whom you manage to charm.

Today, you are flying with Aemond. You come to figure out how you two have lots in common: the same taste for history, philosophy, art and even politics. Not to mention, dragons, of course.

“You are nothing like your father”, muses the quiet prince, once you two land the dragons somewhere nearby a lake, out of the people’s sight.

“This is something I hear often”, you smile at him, eyeing his handsomeness even though part of you admonishes for desiring a man who is not going to be your husband. “But we have some traits we share. Like the taste for wilderness. We are not easily tamed.”

“I’ve always sensed you had something of the sorts in you, Y/N. You pose as the good lady, but are you?”

“I am dutiful”, you say. “I do my duties. Never claimed or aimed to be perfect.”

“Neither have I, even though my dutiful performances have been somewhat misinterpreted”, he snorts.

Before you know, you take his hand in yours. Unconsciously, fingers are laced.

“I think you’ve been misunderstood for a very long time, dear Aem. And I wish so many of us saw that.”

Silence hangs for a while. You and him share a long gaze. You find yourself wishing he kissed you, but Aemond knows his place. He looks away and withdraws his hand. Never before you felt so cold. So you sigh.

***

All the whilst you engage in conversations with the Queen, learning queenship from Lady Alicent herself, Aegon finds Aemond in the corner of the court, observing you with a mix of admiration and distrust.

“If this was about to any other man, I’d have him hanged for looking at such a manner to my wife”, says Aegon, amused.

Aemond has the decency of blush and look away.

“Pardon me for prying, brother.”

“What is there to be pardoned? She is a handsome woman, I give you that. Like honey, too sweet to avert the gaze away”, says Aegon, encouraging his brother to share. “Rumour has it that Aegon shared Visenya with his Baratheon brother.”

Aemond scoffs.

“Visenya wouldn’t play this part, surely. You must be mistaking to Rhaenys.”

“Either one, they shared her, didn’t they? And like my namesake, Aegon was no jealous man.”

The one-eyed prince turns his head to his older brother, intrigued by the subtle suggestion.

“What the fuck are you trying to say, Aegon? Straight to the point if you may.”

Aegon smirks at him.

“I think that, since she likes you too, we should both take Y/N as our wife.”

***

Aegon awaits you this evening in his privy chambers. He’s been anxious for this moment, even though with his mother’s strong presence at court, he didn’t have any moment alone with you aside of public courtship.

A knock of the door is heart, taking away of his thoughts. The prince of Dragonstone stands, concealing his unusual insecurity. When he opens it, he is struck at the thought of you.

So beautiful in the green color, your full breasts almost out of the tight gown you purposely chose to reinforce your curves. The desire alight in Aegon’s eyes makes you dripping wet in your legs, but you know this is the farthest you go to tease him.

Right?

“My prince”, you dip to a curtsy as you walk inside the door, shivering when hearing the click that locks it behind you.

“My princess”, he then takes the chair for you to sit and makes sure to pour red wine in your glass before serving you himself.

When earning you a smile, Aegon forgets that he one day was the charmer, never the charmed.

“You look gorgeous, cousin.”

“I could say the same about you, lord. Thank you. I’ve been looking forward to hearing more of you, out of the prickly ears of the court”, you tell him.

“Indeed. Formalities are not my thing, I’m afraid. But at least the king has been noticing me”, Aegon doesn’t usually open himself this way and when noticing what bursted out of his tongue, he prefers to occupy himself with wine.

You do notice, though, and try to captivate him by sharing something about you.

“Despite being close to my family, I was raised to be somebody else’s wife. I know I was not allowed to choose my heart, even if my parents did.”

Aegon reads you, you spot some early distrust despite the mutual attraction. You feel eager to please him, but you hold back yourself. Eventually he settles.

“I do lament that I am your groom and not Aemond.”

You blush, but do not fly away of the subtle accusation.

“Well, I was always closer to Aemond in age and in interests, my dear, but this does not mean I regret that you are the one I will espouse.”

His slander fingers play on top of the table, and you find yourself holding your breath. When does this tension suddenly come up?

The stare he gives you pierces your soul and you know that, if he wanted you to, you’d be on his knees before him, pledging innocence. But why does the mere image of you in this position arouse you?

“I am hard to love”, muses Aegon, resented. “I am by no means jealous of you and Aemond, but…”

And your anxiety takes your best, of course. You rush to his side and take his hands into yours, surprising him by the urge of your usual composed manners.

“My prince, my liege, you are no hard to love. Your smile enchants me, your eyes read my soul like no other. Your jokes bring a smile to my lips, your good manners give me the certainty that I am not marrying a monster.”

“How can you be certain of this?”, Aegon inquires, puzzled.

“We are lights and shadows. I saw both of them in you and I still choose you.”

He knows you speak the truth, so he lifts you and pinning against the wall, Aegon kisses you. You realize you’ve been longing for this kiss, wishing to feel the taste of his mouth, to pair your tongue with his.

Your husband to be is as sinful as you are a saint. And yet you let him have his way with you. Soon, his mouth is on your neck and sounds start to leave yours.

“My beautiful princess”, Aegon works to kiss your chest, almost ripping your gown with his teeth to get into your breasts.

“Calm down, lord. I need to get to my chambers in whole state”, you smirk at him.

And it’s when you are surprised by how easily he slips to his knees, his lustful eyes wiping off your smirk.

“L-Lord…”

“I want to hear you call my name, Y/N”, he lifts the skirts of your gown, caressing your paled thighs. “I want you to sleep thinking of me doing this to you. Rewarding for being such a good princess.”

And he at first inserts his finger in you, getting you aroused. You are surprised to find yourself so wet, as well as he.

“Never before untouched?”, Aegon asks you, sounding too anxious.

“Never”, you moan, eyelashes barely lift as you search support in the wall. Your hips begin to follow his finger, and you get scandalously louder as his finger finds deeper ways to get to your core.

Aegon watches you in awe and lust, ignoring the bone he has for being the reason you are coming undone—and not Aemond. Though he wills to share with his brother, he knows that ultimately the prize of having you like this is his.

“Let me ruin you”, he groans before replacing his fingers with his mouth.

His tongue dives into your womanhood, twirling around your clot before sucking it skillfully. You are breathless, burning, aching for this prince. Your mind goes blank and all you can think is of this blissful experience of being ruined by this man to whom you are expected to marry.

He drinks every juice he can of you, not stopping until you are about to release. And when you think you do, he removes his face away and stands in absolutely composed.

“Aegon!”, you protest, vexed to be left this way.

“You don’t think I’ve noticed how you teased me?”, he smirks, approaching to you. “We will fuck you, my lady. My brother and I. You wait and you will see.”

Never before you got so pink before.

And when Aegon smiles devilish to you, you are surprised by your own thoughts of wishing this to be true.

***

Aemond is practicing his sword this day when he spots you at a corner, unaccompanied. The one-eyed prince, who happens to be shirtless in this lonely practice, tosses away the sword to greet you in a gentleman like manner.

“My lady Y/N”, he doesn’t mind to get a shirt and dress when you stare at his perfect abs, which makes him smirk. “To what do I get the honor of your presence?”

“Aegon has departed to Citadel to visit Daeron”, you tell him, trying to control your impulses. “The queen forbade me to follow him. She said I’m under your charge, lord.”

Aemond moves from the yard to get to you. You find yourself holding your breath at the proximity of him. Suddenly both arms lock you against the wall.

“Are you now?”, and here he lifts your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Are you playing with us, my lady? Have you been instructed to turn me against my brother?”

Though he sees he’s offended you by the suggestion, Aemond does not take back what he said. And even though you are annoyed by these unflattering words, you don’t run from a fight either.

“You may call me many things, my prince, even though I judged you to know me better than this. But I am no home wrecker.”

And here he pins you against the wall, much to your dismay. He begins to unlace your gown, completely not fearful of being caught. And you barely protest, already dripping wet by how he presses his knee against your womanhood.

“Who am I to judge?”, he lowers his gaze to your mouth, your neck and your breasts. “These are lovely nipples, Y/N.”

You’d have decency covered them, but guessing your moves have Aemond hold your wrists above your head. You are at his mercy and he knows it.

“My brother told me about the gowns you wear, aware of how they reinforce each. But he did let me take a look at them before him.”

A sensible person would have been horrified for being in this position, but you feel aroused by this. To know they wish you like you wish them makes you warm.

As if he reads your mind, Aemond starts to caressing your right nipple, pleased to see you horny.

“Aemond…”, you moan.

Naughty that he is, underneath that dutiful demeanor he puts so well to the public, it’s this prince who speaks dirty to your ear.

“You will be fucked so well, my love, that you shall not have to choose, I promise you. Aegon and I have always shared what we loved the most”, and saying so he bites down your ear. “I will fuck your pussy until you burn and you will feel it with my being. The first born son will be mine, though. I know it.”

And then his indecent tongue paces around your lips only to get to your neck and then…

“Aemond!!”

Like a thirsty prince, he sucks each nipple, biting it, craving it desperately. You want more, you are doomed, you know well. Your pious conscience accuses you of whoring, but nothing is stronger than giving yourself to this prince.

But of course Aemond has to interrupt it.

“We best not get caught”, he whispers, smirking victorious before the protest you shoot him in a gaze. “I thought you liked it, no?”

You pull him for one long kiss, though, and every lust is carefully put aside as Aemond, albeit hesitantly, kisses you back.

Not long after that, the rogue prince realizes that he left more than lust in the taste of your tongue.

***

The marriage, albeit scandalous, happens. Fortune rises underneath tradition. Some might say this is Aegon and his wives in other forms, back to the flesh in another version… certainly a good omen for those who believe in old stories.

Feasts and tournaments are thrown by the king and his brother to celebrate this unique union, never before seen until the day Aegon espoused his two sister wives.

“I hope that you know what you are doing”, says Rhaenyra at this day of your marriage. “These are wayward boys, one of whom nearly got into a fight with Lucerys.”

“I remember that night well, mother”, you try not to sound so irritating at your mother’s grudge. “This is not the time to speak of what has long been buried in the past. If I recall well, they have amended their relationship and all is well, as it should be.”

“I only worry over you, my daughter.”

You gently place a kiss over your mother’s face and smile at her.

“I aim as high as any Targaryen would in my position.”

“As ambitious as your father”, so chuckles Rhaenyra.

“I am his daughter too, after all.”

And you two smile in confidence.

***

Later that evening, bedding ceremony begins. You want both of your husbands there in your chamber. And when they show up, you cannot believe your eyes.

“Lady Y/N, you are beautiful”, says Aegon, already partially naked. He’s the one to pull you, making sure you stand between him and Aemond.

You feel Aemond’s cold hands rest in your hips, giving you shivers.

“We have all been longing for this, haven’t we?”, he murmurs in turn.

You turn your head at him, barely blinking as he is about to kiss you but this moment is stolen by Aegon, who plants his lips against yours. It’s a slow kiss, peppering for what’s coming all the whilst Aemond slowly lifts your nightgown, caressing gently your tits before removing it over your head.

“I am too fortunate, I’m afraid”, you whisper before stroking Aegon’s face. “Such handsome men.”

You kiss him back before breaking it to do the same with Aemond. Now Aegon leans to kiss your neck, whilst his brother plays with your tits.

You get hornier and naughtier, moaning softly before these teasings.

“There’s no need to play the good girl anymore, Y/N”, says Aemond, biting down your lip.

“Indeed”, and here Aegon pulls back your hair as his brother inserts his finger in your womanhood. “We will ruin you, won’t we, Aemond?”

You gasp as Aemond fucks you with his finger, trying not to lose control as Aegon kisses your neck and plays with your tits again.

“We will, indeed. But I need a reward for all this waiting…”

“We both need it”, agrees Aegon. “Show us what you are capable of, Y/N.”

So indecently you go down to your knees. Your eyes spark bright when looking at each erected manhood, unsure what to choose first until you start to caress Aemond’s all the whilst giving the privilege to Aegon’s.

You come to agree with both of them. You are hardly a saint, or divine by any means. You lust after each, and you devour these cocks with devotion. Pausing in between, you let them guide you.

It’s indecent, it’s sinful, but you like this. And so do they.

“Let us treat our princess kindly”, says Aegon, leading you to bed. “Not sparing my seed in these red lips…”

And here he uses his two fingers to play with your mouth, which you promptly devour. Only then he inserts them into your womanhood. Oh, how condemned you are. Such is the price for loving these wayward brothers.

“You may go, brother. I will watch”, says Aemond.

His voice purrs something in you and you find yourself a beggar. Where has your pride gone to? Oh, nowhere to be found.

“My lord!”, you push Aegon to your lips, so you kiss him fiercely and passionately. “Please!”

Aegon smiles like a lion, aware that he has the prey he wants under his power. Thus it is he finally makes way to penetrate you, deflowering his beautiful flower after years of repressing his desire for you.

In the meantime you and Aegon consume this flame, Aemond burns alone, touching his manhood before the scene he watches, which in turn wakes in him darkest desires. He wants to possess you, to make you his, to dispute over your flesh, to hear you call his name.

But there is something powerful in delegating this to Aegon, submitting to his brother’s will even here.

As Aegon collapses over you, he doesn’t let his brother to waste his seed. Though your womanhood is sensitive, you ache for more. They know you are as hungry as they are.

Aemond doesn’t need to be summoned. He crawls over your body, and here with no eyepatch to cover his eye, you stare at old wounds, at his taunted gaze covered by a beautiful sapphire.

“Fuck me”, you mewl under his powerful stare. “Aemond…”

He is gentle at first. Slow is his touch over your curves, taking his time in holding your face, drinking on your pleading eyes as he cups your nipples, touching each until they are hardened enough to make you beg. Only then he bends over you, kissing you passionately, prompted to release his fire.

It’s indeed a very wild evening. Soon Aegon comes to dispute you. Suddenly all of the three are sitting in bed, and you are in heaven. Standing in between them, your husbands’ mouth devour your exposed skin, and new levels of pleasure are disclosed as you are under their power.

Neither part dares to stop what’s been doing however until you throw your head back at Aemond’s shoulder and let a cry out.

“The dragon lady has burnt”, so whispers Aegon in your ear, watching as Aemond kisses you softly.

What a night. Oh what a night indeed. And you couldn’t have been happily married, could you?

***

Epilogue.

What has started as a lustful game between the three parts soon results in a successful partnership. You do love each brother and they love you in turn.

To a general astonishment, this works like in Aegon I’s days. You rule court, playing your part well. Welcoming guests with your smile and good manners, much of which you’ve learned from the former Queen, who actually cares for you like a daughter she never had.

All is well. You are Daemon Targaryen’s daughter after all. Peace is established successfully and familial relationships are restored. Soon, your brothers are back to frequent court with their wives whom you delight to call sisters.

In due time, you prove to be as fertile as your lady mother. You produce fifteen children, not many of which come to adulthood. These are:

1. Jaehaerys II, who takes as his wife his sister; had offspring of their own.

2. Rhaenyra, wife of Jaehaerys.

3. Maegor, lord of Harrenhal; he first took as espouse his sister, Daella, but she died in childbirth; then he contracted a new marriage to Minisa Tully.

4. Maekar, lord of Summerhall: took as wife his sister, Rhaena.

5. Rhaegar, died in infancy, known as Prince of Winter.

6. Rhaena, Lady of Summerhall; wife to Maekar.

7. Baela, lady of High Garden.

8. Daeron, became a Maester at Citadel.

9. Aerys, lord Hightower; married lady Gaena Tyrell.

10. Helaena, lady of Winterfell.

11. Mariah, died in infancy.

12. Visenya, lady of Casterly Rock.

13. Daenys, lady Arryn.

14. Viserys, ward of the West.

15. Alys, Viserys’s twin and wife.

***

“You are still as gorgeous as ever”, whispers Aegon in your ear.

It’s late evening and both of your husbands are found in your arms. You still shiver at how King Aegon speaks to you, how he plays with your tits. You purr lightly.

“Oh Egg, you know not what you speak”, you giggle quietly. “Despite my efforts in looking elegant to you and Aemond, I gave birth to fifteen children.”

He plants a kiss over your forehead, careful in not waking Aemond, who sleeps against your left breast. From certain perspective, you three are engulfed in one another.

“I maintain my word. When did I ever look out of our bed, wife?”, says he, once very familiar amidst brothels before marrying you.

You turn at him with malice in your eyes as you speak.

“No whore does what you taught me to do to you”, you smirk.

Aegon sighs heavily, sinking into your lips again.

“Always restless.”

You chuckle.

“Not always”, you lean against his chest. “But I have been blessed, that is for sure.”

As you stroke Aemond’s hair, you slowly drift to sleep, glad that Aegon is looking after you.

“Haven’t we all?”

Chroniclers maliciously say you’ve married Aegon out of duty and Aemond out of pleasure, but what do men know of a woman’s heart? You love them both, with no difference of affections. And you are more than pleased to know they are not jealous when it’s about you.

It’s how it works. Tradition, power, yes. But love and confidence too.

You sleep this evening like you slept many others in the former twenty moons: as the luckiest woman of the Seven Realms.

[slackerlifewhere]

Involving kids in battles

There are a lot of opinions about Cale Henituse, formerly known as Kim Rok Soo. Some readers love him and some readers don't. Some find him funny and some think he's annoying. Some see his selflessness and some judge him as selfish.

He's a very complex character that is just tired of the bullshit the gods did to a lot of people including himself.

But the one thing that some readers do not like about him is how he includes kids in wars and battles against multiple powerful threats.

I've made a post about female characters that slightly mentions this. It can be found during On's part in the post if you're curious.

So here's the thing about the kids in TCF, or rather, the kids in Cale's group. They're strong in different ways.

And most of them, excluding Lily and Basen, are not humans.

To understand why I think their presence in battles are okay, let me first bring up Kim Rok Soo's past to understand the way he thinks.

As we all know, at least the ones who finished the first book, Kim Rok Soo did not have the best life. His parents died from a car accident when he was young and he was left to his abusive uncle. He was mostly alone with no connections to other people (for reasons you need to read about if you haven't yet) until the apocalypse (when he was a young part-timer) happened where he had to survive by himself until he became a member of a team with different abilities. He was a member who had to fight and watch people die when he was young until he's 36 years old.

He doesn't have a normal life and childhood.

'Kim Rok Soo had once had to starve in the past. He did not enjoy seeing children looking so skinny. Although Lock had always looked feeble and his tall height made him skinny from the start, he seemed even thinner now.' - Chapter 234: Something Obvious (3)

So if a person who grew up under these circumstances is suddenly thrusted into another world where anyone can die easily, what would he do?

Basen and Lily

His first reaction to the idea of Basen being sent to the plaza where Cale knows a tragedy might happen, is to agree with Deruth's idea of replacing Basen, knowing full well that his younger brother will not come back completely fine, especially since he's a normal kid. He chose to sacrifice his safety for a brother he barely knows since he recently just got transmigrated in this strange world. Basen is more fit to help in their territory than to fight in battles. And he does not see this as a weakness.

When Lily asks for a sword instead of a normal toy a child of her age would normally want, he easily agrees. This is a kid who wants to learn how to fight. He knows that there will be war coming to Roan Kingdom and their territory will be the first to face this danger. So the idea of her learning how to fight, with the mindset of someone who survived in an apocalypse, made him agree without complaints.

Raon Miru

Fast forward and he gained the trust of three children who are harmed by a tribe and a cruel noble. He pities them but also understands their pain at the same time, especially after everything he went through. He knows coddling them would not make things better since they already know how harsh the world is.

Raon is a baby dragon but he's stronger than all of the people in his group, except Eruhaben. He's a kid who easily talks about destroying the world if Cale doesn't wake up after fainting. He's a kid who wants revenge against Venion and he never let go of that anger even when he was freed by Cale and his group. He knows he's stronger than Cale and does not want to leave this "weak" human despite the strong enemies they face.

But Cale, even with this thought of "putting him to use" at first, told him to hide himself in all battles and when around strangers.

Even though he knows Raon can fight, it's obvious the little dragon will face potential problems if everyone knows there's a dragon in the group. Arm would do everything to get Raon and bring him to DHB, the nobles would probably become greedy, a lot of people will rely on him for things he shouldn't even need to do, and Raon will never be truly free from all the expectations placed on him.

He could leave Raon with Elves and Eruhaben but considering what Arm did to the elves, Eruhaben's lair, and Olienne, there are no safe places to leave him.

Cale gave him the freedom of choice. He can live freely as a dragon without trusting a human. He was fully confident that Raon will not follow him. But he did. So Raon is his responsibility now.

I made a post about liking both Cale and Reigen Arataka and I can honestly see their similarities in this part. They know the kid with them is stronger than them but they also know that fully placing all the responsibilities and expectations on this kid will ruin them.

He, like Reigen, tells his kids that it's okay to run when facing a strong opponent. That it's okay to rely and let the adults handle the hard part of the battle. He respects and relies on them when necessary and pulls them back when they face real danger.

When the White Star first appeared, Cale's first instinct was to hide Raon in his arms and to defend themselves from the man. He was also prepared to fight until Eruhaben appeared. No matter how much Raon wanted to fight, Cale kept hiding him and was genuinely scared for the dragon.

So yes, he cares for the kids in his own way but doesn't treat them in a patronizing manner.

On and Hong

Like I've mentioned in my other post, On and Hong also did not have a great childhood. They were chased from their tribe who wanted to kill them because they're "useless" and mutants.

They did not trust anyone until they met Cale who says one thing and does the opposite. They placed their trust on Cale who may appear indifferent and cold but seems to care for them by giving them bread, medicine, and meat without having expectations from them.

Some readers might find it distasteful but it's obvious that they want to be useful, no matter how small their contribution is to the fight. I think the term "useful" makes it cruel but for them, it's something to be proud of. When he first uses this term, it's when they were saving Raon. But his next instinct was to check if they're okay after infiltrating the cave.

Is it bad to let these kids fight after they escaped death? Yes and no.

They should be safe, away from harm or danger. That's normal to think about children and I agree they need safety like normal children. But once again, these kids aren't human and they are in a different world from us. They grew up in a tribe that expects them to be strong so in every opportunity, they look for ways to be strong.

That's not exactly a normal kid's way of thinking.

And again, Cale's initial indifference to everything around him is the extension of what his former life did to his psyche. He's not a normal person either. None of these characters are normal. Oddly enough, the most normal are Litana and Valentino.

And in all honesty, knowing how he thinks and respects someone's needs and wants, if they want to stay away from danger or stop fighting, there is no doubt he would accept their wishes and let them hide somewhere far away from Arm. But like Raon, they want to fight back against the tribe who wants them dead. In a sense, they also want revenge and to prove everyone that they've become strong.

Lock and the Wolf children

Lock is still a young boy, no matter how much he shoulders after the death of his tribe. I still see him as a kid like Basen.

When Lock was having troubles during the war, Cale did not scold him. Instead, he encouraged him to eat since he noticed how Lock hasn't been eating since he first learned he can't use his berserk form. He told him that he did not need to fight. His only role was to stand and protect Raon. Simple but it made Lock feel relieved and happy that Cale didn't get angry at him for being weak.

I see it as Cale just wanting him to step back and get stronger, to rely on the rest of the adults and to not worry about regressing. I can only imagine what Kim Rok Soo went through to be so wise about this kind of situation.

This part is one of the most memorable to me because of what happens at the end of the battle,

'I am the adult.

I am the guardian of these two children.

I need to take full responsibility since I chose to take them in.

I need the Super Rock's power.'

Cale, despite all his inner complaints and initial reluctance about how he's suddenly involved in a group of children's safety and protection, finally admitted how important it is that he takes full responsibility of those he took in. And the way he does it is by "sacrificing" himself.

When Lock finally overcome his fear and was about to protect Cale, Cale got annoyed and said,

"Children grow up so fast" with a pat on Lock's head.

He sounded like a father or an uncle who was proud of Lock for overcoming his obstacles. This one scene among multitudes of others made me recognize how much he cares for these children. It's happening mid-battle but it doesn't detracts the emotional value but only increases it. It was another reason why I find Cale Henituse so interesting and mesmerizing.

Conclusion

Cale Henituse, for all his self-hatred and low self-esteem, does not bring down a child or person's confidence. He gives them the choice to become strong and protects them when they're weak.

He does not force them to do anything they can't or don't want to do. He knows what he went through as Kim Rok Soo is bad and he doesn't want them to go through the same thing.

Reading between the lines made me see that there's something deeper than what Cale shows.

___

I'm not gonna lie, I sound like Clopeh at some parts whenever I write like this. I felt the same when I was writing about the female characters lmao

I'm sorry if this is so long 😅 I became too passionate about this topic. I understand the people who are worried about the kids but this is still my opinion about it.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

This one guy I talked to on AO3 said that Emilie shouldn't be brought back because Adrien has already moved on from her death, but I'm not so sure about that. Other people think she should be revived so she can be her own character and not just someone else's sad backstory, and so Adrien has one good parent, of course. What do you think?

I think that it depends on the story you want to tell. There are cases to be made for bringing her back and cases to be made for letting her die. In the context of canon, I find not bringing her back to be fing stupid because it makes everything feel pointless. We obviously don't know the wish yet, but why let Gabe make the wish at all if he's not going to restore Emilie? Making a different wish isn't him being a good guy at the end. It's still him playing god, he's just now using his god powers to abandon his son for no logical reason. What loving father happily leaves his son an orphan???

Yeah, Gabriel saved Nathalie. I don't care. Nathalie chose to use the peacock to support Gabriel in his plan to terrorize Paris. That wasn't some noble sacrifice on her part! She didn't deserve to be saved any more than Gabriel did. Of the three dying/dead parental figures (I really don't know Emilie's status) Emilie is the only one who was never tempted by the dark side if we ignore the uncomfortable implications of how they got the peacock in the first place/Adrien's childhood isolation and just embrace the canon narrative that Emilie was a good and loving mother who was Too Pure For This World.

Meanwhile, Nathalie was a terrible mother figure! She supported Gabriel's awful treatment of Adrien for four seasons and then spent all of season five gently prodding Gabriel to change/tell Adrien the truth while leaving Adrien completely in the dark to everything that was happening. If Gabriel hasn't won, then Adrien would have lost both his father and Nathalie who knew that they were dying, but never gave Adrien a chance to say goodbye because Nathalie never stopped putting Gabriel first in almost every way that mattered. Adrien still doesn't know that he could have been allowed say goodbye to his father because Gabriel's death was entirely predictable.

Along similar lines, I don't think that Nathalie was wrong to undo Gabriel's senticommands, but it is deeply messed up that she was happily doing it in secret and never once considered giving Adrien a chance to consent. A loving parent should find the idea of controlling their child deeply upsetting. She should have been tempted to tell Adrien the truth, especially since she knew that she was dying, but we never see her consider that.

She also does nothing to get Adrien's slave collar away from Gabriel or to stop Gabriel from terrorizing Paris even though we have a scene where she literally pins Gabriel to a table. Her turn to "good" did nothing but maintain the status quo because she continued to support Gabriel in all the ways that truly matter. She never really protects Adrien. She does not deserve to be Adrien's new mother. #BringEmilieBack!!!

All of that is assuming that Gabriel's wish saved Nathalie while sacrificing himself and Emilie. If so, then that is literally the most boring way to go about letting the wish happen. You could have just as easily had Gabriel lose and have Ladybug know a way to save Nathalie via Guardian magic. The end result would have been the same.

If Gabriel had chosen to give up on the wish entirely? Then Emilie not coming back would be a satisfying ending. I personally really like Gabriel being defeated and the heroes then bringing Emilie back. Very much a spite move for me, plus it's a nice way to lessen the sting of Gabriel's defeat. Adrien losing his father, but gaining his mother feels really satisfying to me, especially if Emilie gets to serve Gabriel divorce papers. Got your wish, old man. Now suffer for it.

No matter the case, saying that Emilie shouldn't be brought back because Adrien has moved on is bad logic as it implies that Emilie is only worth bringing back if Adrien say he wants her back, as if she's a beloved childhood toy that someone broke long ago. It also implies that Adrien wouldn't want her back just because he's accepted her loss. Those are two very different things. Imo, one of the show's failings is the fact that Adrien is denied the right to grieve as if that makes him a better person. A better show would show healthy grief vs unhealthy grief (Adrien vs Gabe). She's been gone less than a year when the story starts. Everyone processes grief different, but that's really fast to move on from the death of a parent.

[iamdarkness]

About Brave Alfonse!

People I am so happy about Brave Alfonse!! He is everything I hoped and dreamed of and even more. Not only the art is gorgeous but the chosen attire is the best they could have gone with.  And his voice!

But what what is even more important to me is what it means for his mental health. Alfonse has finally healed his father and that makes me so happy for him. They even gave us the material to see for ourselves  not only in his lines but in the forging bonds. Especially the one with Lif, because Lif being who he is has yet to come to terms with that problem. Well he does have a lot more issues than Alfonse and no one to help him with them.  I am so glad as someone who still have this problem to solve and not much support to see that my boy had the support and help he needed. I wanted to make this post after I saw all of his lines first and separate my own feelings and traumas to canalize his growth.

  Alfonse has spent years healing his father and has come a long way. I remember when Gustav was introduced how Alfonse would nit call his parents “father” or “mother”. The respect he had for them was not familial but that one that comes from the relationship any noble would have towards their leaders. At least it looked that way to me. Alfonse felt cold in his respect but admired their work with the kingdom. After all Gustav and Henriette are great leaders and Askr is prosperous because of their continuos work. It all changed when Gustav gave his life to save Alfonse. Although one could argue that Gustav did this because he himself was sick and about to die any way. You have to see the evidence as well. Gustav was a sentimentally constipated man and a workaholic too, but it does not mean he did not love his children. He did of course, in fact he loves them so much he gave his life for Alfonse. Gustav could have gone on as king not caring if his son died and just chosen Sharena who is a more obedient child as heir.  

  Gustav did give Alfonse a hard time but remember that Gustav and Henriette are not normal parents to begin with and they live in a place and time where royalty and nobles did not even take care of the children themselves. This is important because Alfonse and Sharena have lived in a circle of nobles that find it normal to not interact with their children. Sadly the children living this way may not form a familial bond with their parents but at least the trauma of seeing other children with their parents as a norm will not let them think that their parents do not love only  them. What I mean is that our trauma of hearing other kids talking about how they interact with their parents and our parents no doing the same ( the norm) for us or with us is not going to affect them the same.

Alfonse is also a rebel and it grated on the relationship he had with his father which was already weak. Alfonse tell us himself he does not behave like a prince should and that he went against some people’s wishes to get into the Order. I am pretty sure those were his parent.  

 In later forging bonds where parents and children happen to cross we can see a change. Gustav’s death could have made Alfonse fall because of gilt but it helped him understand his father. Perhaps not in a “ He loved me so much” way but in a “ Now I understand why he  did not want me to be in danger” and a “ Now that I am next to rule I understand my responsibility towards the line.” This leads him to see the responsibility his parents have and the sacrifices they have had to do to serve the people of Askr. Alfonse interact more with Henriette and starts calling her “Mother” and while talking about Gustav he starts calling him “father” instead of “the King”.

In his forging bonds with Anna we see that he has been training with the axe not only as a weapon to use in memory of his father but as he said, it is because he wants to understand him better. As he says in his line to Lif :“ Father’s ax is very heavy, it is more so for the burden it represents..” (My game is in Spanish and some of his line may sound different as I translate them) This means that now he understand why his father did what he did. He had a great burden to carry and he was sick to boot. Gustav had ( like many parents) to sacrifice time to do more for the better good. Some people are just bad at time management and it does not mean they do not love their kids.

 Anna has been  not only his teacher but his support in this journey. And Anna has not been the only support he has had to help him heal his parents as we can see in the forging bonds with fallen Lumera and Henriette; but with his line  “The trust and the  support the heroes have given me have forged the person I am today.” lets us see all the help he has had and how far he has gone from “I don’t want to get close to the heroes” to “ They have helped me and supported me.”

But  it is one of the last lines he has told his dark side Lif that gives you the best proof. “ My father told me once that…’ A king has to harden his heart when when he has to make decisions for the good of the Kingdom of Askr’ but  I will not harden my heart to the point of ABANDONING those who suffer before my eyes.” With this he is telling Lif and us that he understands his father did what he did for the kingdom and that he ( Alfonse) will do better.

Any way. Al our pal has grown in many ways and he seems happy and strong and nothing would make me happier than that. At least this is my humble opinion.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Aleksander Morozova rambling

Aleksander, as a child, saw and lived in a vastly prejudiced society toward his kind, which unsurprisingly had a large effect on his choices as an adult. Grisha were, and still are in the timeline, hunted for sport by otkazat'sya (namely Fjerdans). Not to say they were a united front against this bias, take Annika's ruthlessness as an example of that. She was his friend, or perhaps posed as such, yet willing to carve out his bones for the sake of her own power. She was the one who died young in the end, Ulle's son as well, Aleksander thought to use the cut on himself and frame a otkazat'sya village nearby. This was likely the first act taken against him as an individual from other Grisha, nevermind children.The two were afraid, unmistakably so, and therefore thought it justified to sacrifice, as I'm sure they would've considered it, another living being for either of their benefit.

The problem is, each of them, Aleksander especially, had the same experience. How does it feel when your parents bring into the world knowing they can't protect you from the dangers? Dangers posed from their own blood, mind you? Aleksander set out to create a sanctuary where no Grisha child would suffer like he once had. It was a noble vision, but a poisoned seed, as they say, grows to a poisoned plant. Those with power consistently crave one thing: More power. Aleksander Morozova is simply another victim of this pattern in literature.

The Darkling mantle, and those which came before it (e.g Black Heretic) are dehumanising, to say the least. The Grisha soldiers under his command aren't meant to see him as human in any case, to them he appears as an untouchable figure. I suppose that's important; when a god tells you to do something you rarely doubt his word.

Aleksander was fighting a war. Not the war those under him fought meekly with guns, though that literal war accumulated many losses and sacrifices as any does. His struggle was for power, as you'd expect and though it landed him in the throne eventually that's not the prime aspect. As I said before, the thing with powerful men is that they're ravenous, dangerously persistent in their hunt for more power. A single life lost is not a tragedy. No matter who the victim is, noble or poor, young or old. A single life lost in favour of a greater picture, is a sacrifice, a martyr. Alina says it herself, so many saints are martyrs.

I’m not saying Aleksander is a saint, despite The Starless Saint being a wonderfully poetic name. I’m merely suggesting he set out on a road to become one. I mentioned that a poisoned seed always grows into a poisoned plant because that’s nature. That’s the way things occur, nothing to fault or blame. I believe his idea was a poisoned seed, of sorts. The unfortunate truth is the most exquisite plants often turn out to be toxic.

His vision to create an oasis for Grisha was pure, but does that excuse the unavoidable bloodshed to afford it? Is there a meaning behind those losses? It was war after all. War ruins lives, that is no secret. Aleksander brought peace, and The Little Palace was, in some form, a direct result of that peace. The Little Palace and the second army were established, a sanctuary for Grisha and an Army for the king. A fair trade?

Is this trading lives like crops? Ten otkazat'sya for one Grisha?

Aleksander’s new system still had a hierarchy, despite it almost being flipped from the previous version and more complex. Before otkazat'sya were considered top of the food chain, and Grisha, orderless, below them. In that time, if Grisha had any use it was as weapons, which didn’t expressly change once the Shadows came into rule. Once Aleksander got his way, Grisha stood above those who had once tortured them. Still, even within them there was yet another hierarchy.

While all Grisha Aleksander considered to be below him except for the Sun Summoner, he had his favourites in Corporalki- Healers, Heartrenders, later Tailors-, preferring his guard to be made up of many Grisha within that order. Etherealki, which Shadow Summoners are also considered to belong to, remain as prominent figures in many battles as well. Materialki- Durasts and Alkemi-, while powerful, were not considered fighters during Aleksander's reign. They were not given physical training until Alina took control, which was an intelligent move on her part especially since we know what kind of accuracy Durast sharpshooters can achieve. A mistake on Aleksander’s part.

In conclusion, Aleksander did what he thought necessary. To him, every loss is a sacrifice, willing or not. Still, it’s the rule of man. Some people are always going to want to feel better than others. As Genya said, be careful of powerful men. The choice to have every otkazat'sya tested for Grisha power was to find The Sun Summoner and to build numbers in the first army. The problem is that many of these children, who were being brought to a supposed sanctuary, weren’t in need of one. In fact, by definition, a sanctuary isn’t a sanctuary if you aren’t in need of one.

One thing didn’t change from Aleksander’s childhood: Otkazat'sya feared Grisha. What did change is how they reacted to that fear. The reaction was an instinctive move to destroy what wasn’t known. Once Grisha were known to the public in Ravka, the fear may have grown, yes, but the willingness to do something about it shrank. These people who live their lives quietly in a town aren’t going to suddenly pick up a knife and throw it at someone meant to protect them. Even if they don’t believe that protection is necessary or possible.

[mikuchan]

my Tavs😊

@gaeldricge the deep lore lol

Findingway - wild magic sorcerer

I made her just to run through the game again as research for Something to Play For, but I really like her. She was born to a family of respectable and scholarly wizards in Baldur's Gate -- no one will confess to who made a deal or slept with a devil, but she suspects her mother. Either way, her appearance + her uncontrollable magic made her the odd duck out. She has a troubled relationship with her family.

At boarding school she met & became close to another tiefling student. He told her how some tieflings choose their own names based on who they are, or who they want to be -- and so 13-year-old Wilhelmina James, desperately trying to figure out where she fit in the world, became Findingway instead. Actually I took the name Findingway from the FFXIV Lopporit because I thought it was cute and didn't expect her to become more than a research vessel

She is a control freak who bottles everything up until she explodes and does something dumb, and/or makes a stupid power grab. She's eaten every tadpole, got the hag eye + ate the skin piece, exploding blood, etc etc and is mad none of them fixed her situation. Try as she might, she's chaos on two feet.

She has I think 23 Charisma and can talk her way into (or out of) aaaanything, but she's not very smart. She's not evil, but is closer to amoral than pure good; she puts herself first. She's romancing Minthara.

She hoards gold and food. It makes her feel important. She has about a million bottles of wine right now, and her future plans are to open a wine boutique in Baldur's Gate.

Yrollam - Dark Urge high elf barbarian

Yrollam woke up in a crashing nautiloid with no memories, but luckily there was this super cool necromancer there to help her. Now it's Yrollam's job to carry bodies and books for her new BFF Elberos (my husband's Tav), and she does it with pride.

She's very much a 'pleeease let me bloody my hands for you' type. Eager to please and with very few limits.

Before the game, she was scholarly and unethical, more of a mad scientist vibe. Currently, she is struggling with controlling her Urge. She's romancing Wyll while Elberos romances Minthara.

I drew her AU where she didn't meet Elberos and she went with Auntie Ethel instead

Sabine - drow druid. I put her at the end even though she's my favorite, since her info runs longer

She was born the third noble daughter of a very low Menzoberranzan House. Seeking Lolth's favor, her parents thought she would make a worthy sacrifice, so they left her as a toddler at the entrance of a giant spider nest. However -- the spiders were sentient but not Lolthsworn, leading to Lolth taking offense at their waste (leaving a precious noble girl out for random spiders? really?) and rejecting their clumsy 'offering.'

Lolth punished her parents instead with a cave-in (killing both her parents, and spelling doom for their now-leaderless House) which also cut off the heretic spiders from her city. The spiders, however, found the drow child, took her in, and raised her as their own.

Sabine is the closest name in Common to what the spiders call her, which is itself a bastardization of the drow name her parents gave her (Z'brnn) - so it's the name she uses aboveground. After reaching adulthood, she left to learn more about drow, figure out where she fits into the world, maybe find a new way into Menzoberranzan... she can wildshape into a spider, but she's uncertain whether she wants to do that permanently so she can return home and fit in with her family, or -- now that she's found so many friends and loved ones -- stay a drow and remain aboveground (more or less - she loves her spider fam, and will visit them whether spider or drow!).

I changed her hair when she got to the city + added some age lines.

She was the Tav I made in early access + again in my first runthrough. I'm going to restart her because I couldn't recruit Minthara back then. Also, she romanced Astarion/Halsin but I think she would be a better fit with Gale (very curious woman + excited infodumper) so I'm changing that on her new playthrough.

She was excited to meet the drow prostitutes. She hired them for several hours just to sit and talk with them about drow culture.

Her Dream Visitor took the appearance of her (bio) father, who she only vaguely remembers.

There's an AU where she was not taken in by the spiders, but by a different House who followed her parents to the edge of the city. They killed her parents in Lolth's name, destroyed their House, and took Sabine (Z'brnn in this canon) + her older sister. She's a Lolthsworn ranger in this timeline, traveling with my husband's Durge (who was redeemed in his playthrough, is evil in this one).

Bonus, Elyon (Ellie) - Dark Urge assassin rogue (based on my neighbor's kitten who went HAM on a pigeon outside...), but I lost heart in her. She was going to be my super-evil playthrough but I don't want to kill Isobel, so she's just stuck in Act 1 forever

[1dont-really-know]

Having thoughts of my good and bad timelines and Malva and hhhhh

°•°•°•°•°

Malva, as a child, hated being under anyone's control. She still does, to a degree, but has since matured enough to accept that sometimes it's necessary. She wants to make a difference. She doesn't want to be queen and never will, but she still wants to make the lives of her people better somehow.

Hence why she decided to become a healer.

This way, she can distance herself from the Senate and their rules, since healers follow their own set of codes and rules, far separate from those of the long-dead noble fae.

But ever since Maleanor's death, not only does she lose her sister, she's also forcibly pulled back from the life she so loves and forced back under the control of the Senate. By this time, Maleficia has lost quite a bit of fight in her, and Malva is left frustrated and grieving, trapped in her own bubble.

It didn't help that Lilia got exiled. The only other person that she could trust and understand her, ripped away from her in front of her very eyes.

And a part of her will always resent him for just going along with it and leaving.

For those long, long years, she never left Malleus's side. Her work was put on hold indefinitely, all to provide her nephew with the love and magic he needs to hatch. It ended up not being enough, of course, and Lilia had to be called.

She had thought that this would mean that he would stay. She had thought that this would mean that finally, finally Malleus could hatch with the love of someone who loves his parents so deeply.

But of course, Lilia had other plans.

And though this time she understood where he was coming from, it didn't make it hurt any less.

Still, with neither Lilia nor Malva being alone, it took 150 years for Malleus to hatch.

Malva wasn't there to see it. No, she had gotten sick and tired of Lilia always having to leave, and was fighting tooth and nail for him to be allowed back into the Capitol. By the time she realized what had happened, the Senate was already taking Malleus, still with bits of his shell on his head, away from Lilia's arms.

They announced that she was the one to hatch the Prince. Not Lilia. They announced that her magic saved the Prince. Not Lilia, whose lifespan has been significantly decreased as a result of his sacrifice.

They had framed her as the hero, and him as an insignificant, disgraced, speck of dust that didn't even deserved to be mentioned at all.

Perhaps that was why he wasn't around Malleus as much as he should have been.

A fact that grew more and more prevalent as time ticked by, chipping away at Malva's patience along with everything that came with being back in the castle again.

Until one day she had enough.

Words were exchanged that day. Hurtful words, ones that neither of them should have said but did anyway.

"Perhaps had you only used your Unique Magic, Maleanor wouldn't have died and neither of us would have had to go through this."

And here's where the timeline splits.

In one timeline, Malleus is oblivious as to what happened, and was in one of his classes the entire day.

Lilia went back to his cabin.

Malva was left alone with her thoughts.

This– everything– was the Senate's fault. Malleus would have hatched faster had they not exiled Lilia. Malleus wouldn't be this lonely had it not been for the Senate. Malva wouldn't be this alone had it not been for the Senate.

And the Senate... Well, they're spirits, aren't they? Spirits of dead nobles who couldn't accept that their time in power has passed.

Malva's a noble. A Princess, at that. She just needed to figure out what makes the Senate so special, and then she can infiltrate their ranks and make them do what she wants. And when everything is said and done, she'll find a way to revive herself and everything would be fine.

She has some Foxglove in her garden. Some Nightshade as well. She can use them on herself to separate her soul from her body.

Maleficia was busy with her duties.

Malleus was in his classes.

Lilia was back in his cabin.

It was only hours later, after Lilia had sneaked back to the castle to see Malleus and entered her room to try to apologize to her did he find her body, already cold and stiff from rigor mortis.

That is the bad timeline.

In another timeline, Malleus sneaked away from his classes and decided to pay his aunt a visit.

The Nightshade was mere centimeters from Malva's lips when Malleus bursts the door open.

He made her play with him, and when Lilia came back to the castle, he made him play with them as well.

Things were never quite the same, of course, but they were together in this timeline, at least.

[tea-cat-arts]

(Disclaimer incase some of y’all don’t have the “Honkai spoilers” and “Genshin spoilers” tags blocked: This post will contain some pretty major spoilers from both games. Also this post is more of a repeat shower thought of mine than a proper analysis)

Something I find… disappointing about Mihoyo’s writing is that it only ever seems to be people who are already in positions of power and authority who get redemption arcs, where as characters who were genuinely just forced into these terrible situations will get villainized and killed off.

Examples:

Ei, leader of a nation and a god, hunted down poor and middle class vision holders (technically a minority group) and stripped them of their will or killed them if they resisted, but the story goes out of its way to show us her grief and hardships, which are supposed to make her worthy of redemption

Dr. MEI, main leader of her era, committed way too many war crimes to list here (main one being experimenting on soldiers and sending them to their death without their consent) and defunded or distracted at least two of the leading scientists working on alternatives, but the story frames her actions as noble and a necessary sacrifice

Otto, part of a ruling lineage and leader of a government party, also committed too many war crimes to list here but we’re gonna focus on the part where he kidnapped and tortured children for science, was given a story the centered around showing us his humanity, motivations, and good intentions/ outcomes

Sirin/HoV one of said children Otto kidnapped and tortured, lashes out and attacks the ones responsible for her pain and those who defend them. Killed off

Kevin, literally just some guy pulled off the street who stepped up when nobody else would, took on a task that was way too big for him to handle, watched almost all his friends die, watched as he was powerless to stop the world from being destroyed, and went along with a desperate and incredibly dangerous plan that he hated, but thought was the only way to prevent what he already lived through from happening again. Deemed a monster that has to be killed

La Signora, a young village woman who’s lover died in a pointless war between gods, had her home destroyed, turned her body into liquid fire, and joined the side that was looking to take down the people who caused her all this pain. Presumably killed off probably not gonna stay that way though so we can come back to this one in a couple years

Some potential exceptions to this trend/ less straightforward examples:

Fu Hua and Kujou Sara (arcs handled similarly, so I’m lumping them together). Though they are both technically leaders, they aren’t by any means the one in charge. Their motivations, reasoning, and potential for redemption is established incredibly early on and the story is quick to show us that even though they’re on the bad guy team at first, they have noble intentions. They also spend the majority of their time in the story actually doing the leg work to prove they’re a good guy

Scaramouche. Though he is technically the child of a god, he’s still a parental abuse victim and the story repeatedly puts him in positions of powerlessness and servitude. He also spent the majority of his life living in poverty. Though he hasn’t exactly been redeemed for his war crimes yet, the story is giving him a chance to work for it

The grand sage. Example of a corrupt person in power we actually did get to take down. Though it should be noted that the story frames it as though that power was never rightfully his in the first place

Idk, it’s not enough for me to go and try and accuse Mihoyo of anything, nor am I trying to say that all these stories were handled poorly (and yes, I’m fully aware that a lot of my descriptions were oversimplifications of the canon). It’s just a pattern that I’m side-eying Mihoyo for. A trend that does make me straight up go “hey, Mihoyo, what the fuck-“

Why is every scientist tampering with human biology and evolution depicted as some puppy-kicking lunatic? Why does the story focus so heavily on demonizing their areas of research and acting like those are the problem, not the fact that they’re committing several OSHA violations? I know I’ve ranted about this point before, but I just find it incredibly strange

[rahleeyah]

i have so many feelings about the end of ted lasso. personally, i’m glad ted and rebecca remained friends, though i would have been totally cool if they were more. ted leaving felt so shitty because there is nothing good for him left in kansas except for his son, really. his friends, his support systems, dr. sharon… it isn’t clear to me if ted has friends other than beard and it breaks my heart.

honestly, it feels almost like a step backwards cause ted isn’t moving on from richmond, he’s just going back to kansas where… what job does he even have?

idk, i get why the show ended the way it did. i think that any other ending would have felt too happy-go-lucky-unrealistic but i’m still sad about it

(though to be clear i’m not mad at the ending, i just am sad on behalf of ted)

That's the sticking point for me, is that Ted is left with nothing, and he doesn't even look that happy about it. Now, the argument is that he has the one thing he wanted most, the chance to be with his son, to be part of his son's day to day life (which is a time sensitive desire, there's a clock running on Henry's childhood and Ted can't wait and be there later it has to be now or never, and he also will never have the chance to do that again), to love his son and not leave his son with the same wounds he grew up with as a result of losing his father. Ted has sacrificed everything to make his son's life better. A lot of parents can relate.

While Ted has my dream life in London, he is not the ultimate decision maker for his son; Michelle has to be on board with whatever choice he makes, too. Now if I'm Michelle, and Ted is willing to help financially, me and my baby are on the first plane out of the states, but that's me. Michelle may have stronger family ties. Michelle and Ted may want those family ties for Henry, and not want to sever him from them. They may want to raise him in a less high pressure environment than in a big city like London.

And that's the thing is bc Ted's decision was so rushed they didn't have time for any of that. We can guess at why Ted won't hear of taking Henry out of Kansas, but we don't really know - it's not like it was impossible, given Ted's salary, people move internationally, it is not some pie in the sky impossibility, unless there is a reason. We just don't know what that reason is.

Sorry I'm all over the place but the thing is like. Parents make sacrifices for their children. That is absolutely true. That is an insurmountable obstacle for sure. But our last image of Ted is so hopeless. All he has is Henry. That's it. He gave up everything, and he doesn't even look all that happy, and we know he's struggled with anxiety and depression, and what good is making all those sacrifices for Henry if in the end he's unhappy, unfulfilled, lonesome? Henry will sense that. Henry will ultimately be hurt by that.

There isn't like a best answer here, which I think is interesting. If he stays in London sure he can see Henry over facetime and in person periodically but that is not enough to sustain a relationship with a child who is changing by the day; time will put a huge barrier between them. They will not know each other. He may not be getting that much day to day time with Henry now that he's back in the states, who knows what the custody arrangement is, but he can coach Henry's soccer team and see him so much more often and really maintain that relationship. He needs to be where Henry is to have a relationship with his son, and bc he's unwilling to consider relocating Henry, that only leaves one option. And that's best for Henry, and maybe it's best for Ted, bc he won't feel guilty about abandoning his son, and it's so noble, all this sacrifice. It's noble in a way that leaves a bad taste in the mouth, though.

And it's interesting to me bc as I sat here wondering about how, ultimately, Ted was always going to have to leave bc of how the show had established his priorities and concerns, I was wondering about how they could have ended it without doing this, and I find myself thinking what if they hadn't ended it at all? What if they'd left it open, not definitively said Ted was going or staying, not definitively said "Ted's London family will thrive without him and he will never see them again" (he wasn't even at Beard's wedding, if in fact that wedding happened), but ended on a moment of a decision suspended, hope still in the air, a question left unanswered? The ending was pretty ambiguous imo but a little more ambiguity might have been more palatable.

But palatable was not the point. My personal desires and opinions weren't the point. Fathers and sons, forgiveness, selflessness, love for others, these things are central to the plot of the entire damn show, and I guess they were always gonna bring the point home.

Sorry for the ramble it's probably full of typos but I need to do my job now lmao

[ell-vellan]

Ellawyn Enansalla Lavallen

(portrait by @ib-gomes, balcony art by @oxygenforthewicked-art )

An overview of my Lavellan, a continuation of my "elfy" worldstate

Ellawyn grew up surrounded by love and simple joys, the only child of doting parents, she had close relationships in Clan Lavallen. She was a quiet, gentle, and obedient child, and loved nothing more than halla -- spending so much time at their pen to the point the halla-keeper was happy to take her under her wing as a future apprentice even at a young age.

Then, one winter at age 11, she was sent to recover a lost halla in the woods and was captured by a runaway templar. Alone, terrorized, and certain she was bound for a slaver's ship, she summoned lightning for the first time and burnt her would-be kidnapper to ash. After rescuing herself, the lost halla appeared to take her home.

For this, she earned the second name Enansalla, halla-blessed. It is the name her keeper calls her, and no one else.

Everything changed after that. As the only mage child born in the clan, she was immediately declared the First, and began leadership and magic training with her keeper. With her magic obviously tied to outbursts of emotion, she was kept somewhat apart from the rest of the clan until she was safe to be around them; her keeper drilled into her stringent lessons on self-control so as to avoid misfiring her magic. She was set apart from her friends, and from then on had difficulty fitting in with the clan as she did before, everyone knowing who she would one day grow to be. The weight of responsibility settled heavily onto her shoulders, but she bore it with the self-sacrifice her keeper advised her was needed to be a leader of the People.

When she came of age she chose Ghilan'nain's vallaslin, believing the halla that appeared at the same time as her magic was a sign that she had been set down this path, and she would walk it willingly, even when it veered away from where she would rather go.

Young, untrained, tightly wound, diplomatic to a fault, full of self-doubt and a crushing need to do enough, be enough, she is utterly out of her depth in the human world. When she is declared Herald, she accepts the role as an inevitable sacrifice on the journey she was chosen to take. She grows to detest the song and dance she must perform as Inquisitor, bending to nobles who almost certainly committed acts of violence against her people, but still gives no complaint and allows the pressure of the role to beat her down until there is almost nothing left but the figurehead. In giving more and more of herself to the saving of the world, she loses more and more of herself.

Whenever and wherever she can, she helps the common people in need, but does not shy away from the pride of where she comes from -- emblazoning Skyhold with Dalish heraldry so that no one may forget that the "chosen" of Andraste is both elven and a mage.

As a knight-enchanter she becomes reckless in battle, throwing herself into harm's way, desperately seeking some kind of relief from the stress of her day to day -- to the point she narrowly avoids death again and again and ignores proper care of her wounds.

She sides with the mages, and whenever possible, follows her heart to find just punishment for the war criminals she captures, typically some third alternative to death or imprisonment. She never invokes the Rite of Tranquility.

El maintains a strictly professional relationship with everyone in the Inquisition, taking her role as leader and demi-god seriously and performs that untouchable facade those under her command. She allows no elves to be her servants, and goes out of her way to use her power and resources to help every elf she can.

Even her inner circle are but coworkers; she shares her doubts and true inner self with no one, performing a display of otherworldly strength that she does not possess in order to appear the leader she believes the world needs her to be.

She, literally and figuratively, never takes her hair down except when alone. She works herself half to death in a sort of sacrificial clinging to duty, to fulfill her purpose. To protect her people and make them proud.

She becomes friendly with Solas and Dorian, both of whom help expand her knowledge and skill over her own magic. But is sorely lacking of anyone who can relate or understand the toll it takes to constantly play a role -- until Iron Bull.

She shares a kiss with Solas in the Fade, momentarily believing their friendship and camaraderie of being the only two elves in the Inquisition meant more than friendship. But when Solas gently tells her later it was a mistake, she is embarrassed and ashamed, and quickly agrees to their relationship being strictly platonic. She continues to care about him, admire and respect him. Her crush fades until she thinks perhaps it was not a crush at all, simply loneliness. Certain later events make her suspicious of where he came from, and if he is truly trustworthy, but she allows him to dissuade her by drawing on their shared identity and past affection.

El reunites Briala and Celene, though she trusts neither -- but Gaspard even less.

She will try to save Solas from himself, but is prepared to kill him if need be. Even if it will haunt her forever.

She believes herself to be too soft-hearted to be a good leader, and begins to question everything after Here Lies the Abyss -- that perhaps nothing in her life has been pre-ordained by any gods at all, and what she thought was a divine commandment to sacrifice herself for the good of the world was truly just...a collection of random unlucky events. It upends her worldview and sends her into a tailspin.

The Iron Bull is perhaps the least likely person in the world for her to fall in love with. But she does, quietly, secretly, from afar. She sees the innate self-sacrificing goodness beneath the vulgarity and bluster, and admires his courage, strength, and confidence, all of which she believes herself to lack. But he -- and his reputation -- are far too intimidating for El, who has never had time for any sort of relationship, and too busy, and is wound much too tightly to ever relax enough for one. Or so she tells herself. They are complete opposites, after all. Quiet to his loud, knowing little of the world compared to his vast experience.

But Iron Bull sees much even with his one eye, and realizes when perhaps no one else does that El is going to break under the strain unless someone intervenes.

He, of course, volunteers.

Anyway I've written nearly 200k of hurt/comfort character study smut about Ellawyn and Bull, and the way their very different stories converge, so I'll leave it here.

Art thanks to @thegoblinwitchqueen !!

[anxiouslittlepossum]

(heavy inspo from the comments, everyone there is brilliant)                                  ((this is also littered with headcanons sue me they make me happy))

Oh it starts at one kid, sure. A child of Hermes, to be precise. About three weeks later, though, a new kid arrives. Quickly pulled aside, they are informed by their peer of another god, who speaks kindly with Mr.D, Chiron, Hestia and Apollo when he is there. Who is chthonic, and who resides at the camp. But he is on a mission right now, away when you arrived. The newcomer thinks this has to be a prank. He doesn’t believe. At least, not until two days later, when He returns. Freshly claimed as Hypnos’s son, standing and staring beside his friend, as a boy who radiates power stepps out from the shadows. The two are amazed to see the robes, and especially the crown. Definitely a god.

A mere five days later, a daughter of Iris arrives, and the two companions are quick to inform her about the deity, who doesn’t seem to wish to be called a god, who uses the mortal name Nico, who is in love with the camps head counselor and healer. She is quick to believe, the proof standing right before her eyes and beating Mr.D at pinochle.

The three come to the conclusion that new campers are expected to figure it out on their own. It is, after all, quite obvious. Still, the trio agree to tell all incoming campers, regardless of anything, just to be on the safe side. It’s the kind thing to do, look out for their fellow campers to ensure there are no mistakes. Can never be too careful, where gods are concerned, can you?

So they, and every new camper from then on out Know. They Know of the god who does not share his name, who becomes soon engaged to Will Solace, who favors so many heros. They do not quite know his domain, but they still pray to him. He’s here willingly after all. He helps to train them. He’s their sparring teacher for crying out loud. He must wish for them to succeed, to become great. 

All the campers from that point on send most of their sacrifice to their parent, and a little bit to the god. Most of the children of Aphrodite and Apollo in this number pray to their parents that Will Solace will be made immortal. Two lovers, so alike but so different, for eternity. Think of it Mother! Forever the Nurse of the gods, your son assisting you and in love with your friend, for all time. Wouldn’t it be wonderful, Father?

Almost as quickly as it spread through the newcomers of Camp Half-Blood, the probatio of Camp Jupiter soon came to know that the ambassador of Pluto was more than he first claimed. A shy god. Odd, but not unwelcome. The prayers quickly grew in number upon their return to California.

New campers come and go. Nico and Will stay, for the most part. They lead and help new campers, they heal and are an ambassador. They marry, Joyfully.

The entire camp soon believes and prays to the god know only as his presumed epithet, or mortal name; nobody is quite sure. Nico. “Victory of the people”. If the rumors are to be believed, the son of Hades is the God of Noble Sacrifice, Patron to All Heroes, Psychopomp of the Heroic and godly protector of Camp Half-Blood and (slightly less-so) Camp Jupiter; when he is not away performing duties of course. And if further rumors are to be true, his husband will join him in immortality, only after he dies. One sacrifice, all for love. The love will exist forever more, they only have to wait a bit. He is the friend of this ages greatest heroes, the likes of Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang, Leo Valdez, Piper McLean, Reyna and Thalia of the Hunt and former Jason Grace. He is the demigods’ teacher, their leader, and for those brave enough to speak to him, their friend.

And one fateful winter, so similar to his first at the camp, the Man grew feverish. He Burned. And he was man no more.

As the Fates deemed it, all the rumors were to be True.

I know we all love the god/deity Nico. But just consider. Nico mistaken as a god.

Why? Because srsly, just imagine it.

You’re a new camper. You’re 8,9,10,11—idk, and your siblings are giving you a tour around Camp. You guys reach the Big House, and there’s Chiron, Mr.D, and then him.

This kid - not so much older than you’re - who wears all back, a sword by his hip, a distinctly powerful around him, sitting at the same table with Dionysus and Chiron. They have been talking when you arrived. He greets you with a silent nod.

Later that day, you see him again at lunch/ dinner. Still sitting with Dionysus. His plate is empty. They talk through out the meal. Perhaps he doesn’t need to eat.

You notice he has a private house all for himself, not so close to other cabins. Maybe he doesn’t like others trespassing in his place.

He’s also the quiet and reserved type, you figure.

He doesn’t talk much. But when he speaks, everyone listens. Whatever he has to say is usually impactful.

He usually sits with the goddess Hestia during the campfire. Rarely someone joins them. Will Solace does sometimes, probably bc the guy’s friendly with just everyone.

You see him in the Arena. His power is absolutely terrifying. Like. God-tier.

You take note of the fact he sometimes leaves Camp for days on a mission or an errand. Something about ghosts and Underworld. As far as you know, no one else in camp does that kind of task. And you absolutely didn’t expect the Underworld to be so easily in and out of. Not for a demigod, at least, because even the mighty Percy Jackson dislikes going there.

He talks about Cerberus and the Furies and Charon and calls Hades “dad”. He must be a chthonic deity. That explains his attire.

And the name di Angelo. It certainly sounds someone to take souls to the afterlife. The name Nico should be the equivalent of Apollo’s Lester.

When another god, Apollo - or Lester, comes visit. You see how the Olympian playfully jokes around and laughs with the Kid. In response, the Kid acts completely relaxed around him, despite not being one of Apollo’s children, whereas you’re there being like Omg it’s a God!. You figure that’s how fellow gods treat each other.

Nico di Angelo must be a God, right?

[itsmaferart]

Every comedy stems from fear. Part 1

After the last chapter of the Spy x Family manga, a rare stir started the fandom. Where it is suggested that Eno strategically uses the comedy and love of a false family as a kind of convenient illusion to attract the audience, as a deceiver attracts a naive to fall into his trap.

Are we really so blind not to see everything that history throws at us? Or is comedy so hilarious that it makes us forget the tragedy that happens in the context of history?

From the beginning of the story we are given a brief introduction to the universe where we meet: After a war between two neighboring countries, the "apparent" peace came, however there are agents of evil working from the shadow with the desire that the war continue for their personal benefits.

This is the engine that leads Twilight, our protagonist to be assigned by WISE (the agency) to have a family.

From then on, we can see that each person is a byproduct of war in one way or another. They are the result of side effects:

Twilight lost his family, his friends, he became filled with hatred for anyone who came from the other side. Then, he understood by evil, he suffered a second loss to understand that "war and ignorance" are sins that drag many people. Twilight has had a lot of "life experience." But this has only been lived under the "I'm a spy" filter. The trauma that carries on his shoulders, added to a job whose success is achieved "not involving his emotions" have made all his bonds a farce. Twilight doesn't really know it's "family love," or "being genuinely in love." He only understands these emotions as an easy vehicle to manipulate others. (Since that's what a spy does) And they've made him unable to recognize his (obvious) feelings to his family. Therefore, in unknown situations he feels so confused and trapped. Since in such circumstances, being a spy is not "the solution." And that's when his real "me" usually comes momentarily. It's too late to notice, though.

Yor, for her part, lost her parents (In causes we still do not know, but we assume it is because of the war). The only thing left with her was her younger brother, maybe she ran with more luck in this regard. But he had to sacrifice herself completely in order to give him a happy future in the midst of a world full of dirt. We don't know how it happened yet, but Yor makes it clear to us the vulnerable situation she was in. The reason I took that job was to "keep her brother," to see that he rewarded her with enough money to meet their needs and to give little gifts of happiness to Yuri in her childhood (such as books or sweets). That is why the real reason for being a murderer was to "protect the peaceful life of your brother." Yor clearly received indoctrination from "garden" and his philosophy of work. "Cleansing the world," though, we do not yet know how true this is and what its true ends are. The way his first instinct is to "murder," and his social ineptitude are clear signs that Yor could never experience a normal life of a girl or teenager, be able to have fun and think about developing in other aspects of life. Clearly, she is very corrupted despite her noble and sweet nature.

Anya is the product of an experiment. Surely caused by war, perhaps in order to create weapons (Background history of which we do not know much yet). A child in search of love from a family. Therefore, she is so affected by the mere possibility that her parents will distance themselves or that the mission will end and Twilight will end up abandoning them. And she must experience abandonment again.

Despite having three such tragic pasts, the product of unfortunate circumstances. The series shows us that these three characters can have salvation. The love of a family "is not perfect," often you cannot premeditate, or control the actions around you, your family may be strange and peculiar. But love can accept us, with our flaws and encourage us to be better.

The union of Twilight, Yor and Anya is so perfect because the three of them accept each other (hiding their identities, of course). But at the same time they can see their virtues and their flaws, they can be themselves.

Ania knows her parents' profession: She knows how cold, calculating and hard her father can be with his high expectations in his missions. Thus, as Yor's crude mind can see with horrendous fantasies. But she loves them and accepts them like that. Because she knows that apart from that, her two parents are amazing, they are people full of love, willing to protect her and guide her along the way always.

In the same way as Yor and Twilight are an incredible couple. Both support, encourage, appreciate, recognize their strengths and understand their weaknesses. It doesn't matter if they are the best in their areas, they always manifest their insecurities in one way or another, and the other is always to listen to it and to say "you make it unbelievable, in your own way."

Unknowingly both have the same purpose, and the same desires. A world where others do not have to suffer what they suffered. And they are willing to fight for it

[vigilskeep]

heyyyy what did you do w connor? im trying to actually make in-character decisions for my current playthrough but i dont want alistair to yell at me LMAO

minerva saves both connor and isolde! i actually vastly prefer the other two outcomes, i’m pretty sure i’ve seen the writers refer to this as a cop-out they regretted and i agree. it’s lame that there is actually just an everyone wins option with no consequences. (they should’ve had damage done because you wasted time going to the circle and back, like maybe in your absence connor kills teagan or something.) however minerva sets jowan free and tells him she never wants to see him again, which is the only way to keep him alive and free of the circle, and that means you can’t do the blood magic ritual. and minerva a) in character would never kill connor if she had another option even a risky one and b) for my plot logistics needs to get into the fade on that quest so she can learn blood magic

anyway some quick potential characterisation reasoning for you to peruse:

for killing connor: your character doesn’t trust jowan and thinks he has ulterior intentions. your character is absolutely set against blood magic (worth especial consideration for anyone of an andrastian background or also a mahariel, considering mahariel’s own clan’s response to blood magic in da2). your character has already done the broken circle quest and now fears the fade and the consequences of blood magic. your character knows nothing of magic and would rather choose a simple fight than play with forces they don’t understand. your character has had someone sacrifice themselves for them and believes connor will regret it as much as they do

for the blood magic ritual: your character is absolutely dead set against killing a child (understandable!). your character empathises with jowan’s wishes to help and redeem himself. your character does not come from a background where they were taught to fear blood magic. your character blames isolde for the situation and thinks it’s fair that she should sacrifice her life to solve it. your character dislikes isolde, whether for her orlesian background, her noble background or her past treatment of alistair, and doesn’t see this as a great loss. isolde’s pleas to save connor struck a chord with your character, perhaps because it reminded them of their own parents’ sacrifices or because it gave them a glimpse of family love and care they never had

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 5 - zuko x fem!reader

I can go anywhere I want, I can go anywhere just not home

part 4 | masterlist | part 6

a/n: this was hard to get going but once i got to the end the words just flowed. ive come to the conclusion that writing dialogue with katara is my favorite thing to do

warning(s): nightmare at the beginning, survivor's guilt from y/n, some internalized homophobia :-( but aside from that its mostly fluff

wc: 3.6k

chapter title comes from my tears ricochet by taylor swift!

She was trapped.

It was a prison of never ending hallways in some kind of infinite void, complete with the rank stench of death and an innate feeling of hopelessness.

Y/N knew this place. It had been the subject of her nightmares on countless occasions, because it was where she was supposed to be. She had no choice but to start down the pathway of cracked stone — she knew what awaited her, but it was the only way out. She had developed some sick sense of awareness in this nightmare and it didn’t do her any favors.

She began to walk hastily down the path, the itch of paranoia already plaguing the back of her mind. Countless times she had been here, and yet it never got better.

Before Y/N knew it, she had reached her unwanted destination. The first tangible thing in what felt like miles was a prison cell, and she pushed forward despite knowing what awaited her. It was the only way.

“It wasn’t the only way.”

She froze, inhaling sharply as the dreamscape seemed to pull her thoughts out of her mind, and she forced herself to take another step closer, the inhabitant of the cell now visible.

“You did this to me.”

It was her mother, but… not quite her. Her voice strained and stiff, a gaunt appearance with cruel eyes, hunched over in a prison cell. Any sign of the woman Y/N knew her as was gone, and it was her fault. She was the reason Kura was gone — a mother’s ultimate sacrifice because her daughter was too stuck in her head.

“How could you do this to me?” she asked. “How could you be so selfish?”

Y/N tried to respond, but she couldn’t. It was no use anyway — her words would’ve come out in broken, pleading rambles to someone who couldn’t hear a thing. She knew it was fake, she knew this was a nightmare, but it still hurt all the same.

She had imagined her mother saying those words to her so many times they had found their way into her nightmares despite knowing that Kura would never utter a single syllable true to her fears. She had all but killed her mother, and instead of remembering her for what she had done for Y/N, she appeared in her nightmares.

She was a horrible daughter.

She heard footsteps and whirled around, instinctively taking a step back and wincing as her back slammed into the bars. A tall, dark figure creeped towards her and her breath caught in her throat — as it came into the light, she recognized him as the Fire Lord.

He chuckled coldly as he neared ever closer, the path he walked turning to flames behind him. Her eyes darted around for an escape only to find that everything was on fire. It was suffocating, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, and when she turned to look for her mother she was gone. Everything was gone, her dark void now a prison of flames.

She turned around once more and Ozai was right in front of her, the fire in his hands glowing red hot and a cruel smile on his lips.

“Did you really think you could get away that easily?”

-

She shot up in her bed, a scream on the edge of her lips but just barely managing to hold it back. Ragged breaths were ripped from her chest, her eyes shooting around wildly as she attempted to find anything at all to ground her. It took a few minutes, but with repeated mantras of it was just a dream and you are safe, she was able to calm down.

She pulled her knees to her chest and exhaled long and deep before pulling herself out of bed. It seemed that her day was going to be starting much earlier than planned.

Four years had passed since her arrival at the Northern Water Tribe, but the nightmares never ceased. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself she had done the right thing, that it was what her mother wanted, that if she stayed she would’ve died — she was constantly haunted by her past actions and memories of the Fire Nation.

She hasn’t taken off the necklace since her mother gave it to her, no matter what she does. It’s almost become a part of her now — a memory of Kura and her selflessness that knew no bounds, as well as a grim reminder of what it cost to get her here.

The Northern Water Tribe itself held countless memories of her mother — after all, it was where she had spent the first eighteen years of her life. Her name was well known throughout the tribe with nobles and elders alike, and it amazed Y/N to no end the impact that her mother left everywhere she went. She loved hearing stories about her mother and what she was like as a child, but it was always bittersweet.

She always carried an inherent sense of guilt with her because of who she lived with — her mother hadn’t been lying when she said that the necklace would get them to help her. Kura’s parents still lived in the tribe, and they had taken Y/N in after she revealed who she was. They loved her unconditionally and never made her feel like a burden, but Y/N would be lying to herself if she didn’t think they blamed her for the fate that befell her mother.

After all, she did.

She had never told anyone the full story of why she ran though. It was one thing to leave her mother behind for certain death because of the Fire Lord’s rage, it was another thing to admit that it was wholly her fault because she had fallen for a prince.

Zuko.

Not a day went by where she didn’t think of him. She still held the hope that she would see him again someday, but in lieu of travel she turned to letters.

Y/N had a shelf full of unmailed letters addressed to both Zuko and her mother — it was a way to get out her emotions whenever she was feeling particularly homesick or hopeless, and it did help at first, but after four years it had become something born out of habit rather than necessity.

She still wrote them though — Y/N had learned to hold onto any form of hope she could muster up, no matter how small, and in this moment she needed some.

She opened her shelf and rifled through piles upon piles of letters, some finished, some hardly started, and some crumpled from fits of rage, and her breath caught in her throat when her fingers brushed something different. Y/N pulled the material out and nearly started crying right then and there.

It was an unbelievably simple patch of fabric, but it meant the world to her — something that she had bought during her last night with Zuko, and one of the only pieces of material to have survived her journey to the Northern Water Tribe. She was forced to sell the rest of the fabric she had brought with her in order to make some easy money while on the run, but she had kept this as a memento. She could almost be brought back to the final sunset they shared if she looked at it for long enough.

Y/N bit down hard on her lip to stop the tears and shoved it back into the drawer before closing it and leaving her room in a haste. Sometimes she wasn’t strong enough to handle the memories.

She made her way to the living room and let out a sigh of relief when she noticed the silence. Y/N had never told her grandparents about the nightmares, and right now she just needed some time to herself. Never before was she so thankful for her grandmother’s gossiping nature and her grandfather’s work than she was in the mornings where she just wanted to be alone.

She sat down on the floor, not even bothering to get a cushion, and stared at her hands. Once smooth and untouched by the world, they were now rough and calloused with wrapped bandages resting just below her wrist. Permanent memories of what it took to get here. The ever present reminder that nothing came without a cost.

This morning seemed to be one full of yearning for the past. Y/N tried to shake her feelings off and got up once more, contemplating some steamed sea prunes before deeming it fruitless. Her appetite was lacking after her trip down memory lane.

She walked back to her room and got dressed hastily then ran out the door, but not before plucking a gift from her shelf. Today marked the birthday of a certain princess, and Y/N had to go fast if she was going to get it to her before class.

She was immediately hit by the frigid air of the North, pulling her anorak tighter around her frame as she began to run to the canals — one could always find Princess Yue there in the mornings — doing her best to avoid anyone else walking.

Y/N saw Yue just about to board one of the boats and sped up, waving one of her arms as a signal. “Yue, wait!”

She turned and her face immediately brightened up at the sight of Y/N, raising her open palm so the boatman would hold up. “Y/N! Would you like to join me?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

Yue’s nod prompted a shrug as she dropped down carefully into the gondola, taking extra care not to drop her gift, and took a seat next to her friend.

“This is a nice surprise,” Yue smiled as the boatman began to waterbend, effectively moving their gondola through the canal. “But if I might ask, what brought you here so early?”

Y/N laughed, thinking her reason for coming here obvious. “It’s your birthday, princess! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come to wish you well in person?”

Her smile grew even brighter, the corners of her eyes creasing up in the way that made some kind of warmth blossom in Y/N’s chest. “Thank you! That’s so sweet — I’m especially honored that you woke up early just for me.”

“Of course.” Y/N brandished the gift she had been doing her best to hide, unable to do the same for her own smile. “And here’s your gift! I sewed it all myself.”

Yue gasped as she took the creation, giving it a slight squeeze and a thorough investigation before absolutely beaming. “You made me an otter penguin— oh, you know how much I love these!”

She wrapped Y/N in a tight hug before pulling away, but it was just long enough for the heat to rush to her cheeks. “Thank you so much, really. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Y/N beamed at the praise and nodded, shifting a little in her seat. “Oh, it’s nothing. I’m glad you like it so much.”

The two girls grinned at each other then turned their gaze to the horizon, content to spend the rest of the ride together in comfortable silence.

Her friendship with the princess of the Northern Water Tribe was something that Y/N cherished with all her heart. She could confidently say that Princess Yue was her best friend, and she hoped it was a notion that Yue shared. As beautiful as she was kind, the princess always had a way of making her feel better on the hardest days — Yue was the only one who knew the whole truth of what happened in the Fire Nation, and she offered nothing but sympathy.

Y/N honestly didn’t know what she would do without Yue. She had been her rock during the whole process of getting situated in the tribe, always lending a helping hand when she stumbled in class or was completely oblivious to something in their culture, and she never made her feel stupid, or unwanted, or less-than for what she had come from.

The only thing that confused her about Yue was the feeling she got whenever Y/N was around her. The rushes of heat to her cheeks, the warmth blossoming in her chest, and the unusual happiness she felt anytime Yue smiled at her. The most peculiar of it all was the strange tug of jealousy any time a noble boy tried to flirt with the princess, and nothing but disinterest whenever they tried an angle on her instead.

She didn’t know what any of it meant, but she had the sneaking suspicion that it was wrong. So Y/N did the only thing she could and suppressed it.

Soon enough, though much to their chagrin, Y/N had to leave. After some exchanged hugs and one last wish of happy birthday, Y/N took off for her morning healing class. But as she hurried down the icy paths, she caught sight of the most peculiar thing.

A giant flying bison was being led through the canals with a team of waterbenders, three kids that couldn’t be any older than her on its back. One had an arrow on his head and sported orange and yellow robes, while the other two looked to be of Water Tribe descent.

Her interest was irrefutably piqued, but she didn’t have any more time to waste with gawking. So she began to run once again, apologies spilling from her lips as she maneuvered through the groups of people all just as awestruck by the strange arrival as she was. Y/N made a mental note to ask Yue about it later, but for now she was running very late to her healing class.

-

Sure enough, a few hours later, Y/N was able to get the answers she had been craving. She met up with Yue outside of the palace, and during a short walk, she learned that the boy was the Avatar. He had come to the Northern Water Tribe to master waterbending, and the two kids with him were his companions from the Southern Tribe — much to her excitement, the girl was a waterbender.

Needless to say, Y/N was even more enthusiastic than before, and Yue made her day by confirming that they would be coming to her birthday celebration that night as honored guests. She had already talked to her father about allowing Y/N to sit with her and he had said yes, which meant that she would get to meet him and his friends in person — it just served as a reminder that Y/N had no idea what she would do without Yue.

After what felt like hours of passing the time with lost games of Pai Sho against her grandfather and failed attempts at finishing her homework, it was finally time for the banquet. Once she arrived at the front of the palace she bid goodbye to her grandparents and went to find the seat that Yue had secured for her.

She settled down in the empty spot next to what she assumed was Yue’s — it was her birthday after all, so a dramatic entrance wasn’t out of the question — and nervously glanced at the three visitors, trying to figure out how to introduce herself.

Thankfully, she was saved when the girl met her eyes and waved, offering a friendly smile. “Hi! I’m Katara; this is my brother Sokka, and that’s Aang.” She gestured in their direction with her head when she said their names and they both smiled and gave her polite nods.

She returned the sentiment gratefully. “I’m Y/N— I’m one of Princess Yue’s friends. Welcome to the Northern Water Tribe!”

“Thanks!” Aang said. “We’re here to find a master so Katara and I can master waterbending.”

“Well, you’re in luck. Master Pakku is one of the best there is, and even though he’s a total jerk, he’ll be able to teach you everything you need to know. And Katara, we have some amazing healing teachers— I can bring you along to my class tomorrow if you’re interested!”

Katara’s eyes lit up. “You’re a waterbender too?” When Y/N nodded, her smile grew even bigger, though slightly wistful.

“I’d really appreciate that,” she admitted, though her brows knit together. “But I’d like to learn from Master Pakku as well.”

Y/N frowned, about to correct her, when the distinct sound of drums began to echo throughout the hall. Her displeasure immediately disappeared as she grinned at them all excitedly, gesturing with her head towards the action.

Chief Arnook stood up from his spot and their table, his low voice booming. “Tonight, we celebrate the arrival of our brother and sister from the Southern Tribe. And they have brought with them someone very special, someone whom many of us believed disappeared from the world until now… the Avatar!”

Y/N’s own applause joined a symphony of others clapping and cheering as Aang waved bashfully, and once it died down, Arnook continued. “We also celebrate my daughter’s sixteenth birthday. Princess Yue is now of marrying age!”

She grinned as Yue walked out alongside her attendants — she would never get used to her beauty. Y/N noticed the way that Sokka’s eyes widened as he stared at her, and her stomach twisted at the act for some unknown reason.

“Thank you, Father,” she said. “May the great Ocean and Moon Spirits watch over us during these troubled times!”

Arnook smiled at his daughter and directed his attention back to his people. “Now, Master Pakku and his students will perform!”

She could tell that Katara and Aang were enraptured by the bending, while Sokka’s attention was already on Yue as she walked over to sit between Sokka and Y/N.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Yue exclaimed, greeting her friend with a short embrace.

Y/N gave her a sideways smile. “If you think that I would miss your birthday and a banquet, then I’m afraid you’re out of practice on Y/N trivia.”

The princess laughed and nodded amiably then turned her attention to Sokka, ever the diplomat.

“Hi there,” he grinned. “Sokka, Southern Water Tribe.”

Yue returned the sentiment and gave him a slight bow. “Very nice to meet you.”

As their conversation went on, Y/N found herself tuning out a bit. For whatever reason, she had to actively stop herself from rolling her eyes at Sokka’s flirting, that same feeling in her stomach coming back. She made a mental note to see a healer about her issues.

“Hey, Y/N!” She snapped out of her self-imposed trance at the sound of Katara calling her name as she gestured for her to come over. It looked like Aang had gotten up to converse with Master Pakku and Chief Arnook, so she took the invitation and switched seats.

“I can’t tell you how nice it is to finally be here,” Katara said once Y/N had settled next to her. “Back home, I’m the only waterbender. Here… it’s like paradise. It almost feels too good to be true. I mean, even seeing you is crazy — I’ve never met a waterbender my age.”

Y/N smiled, though not without a hint of sadness. “I’m sorry that it’s taken so long for you to be able to experience this. How are you the only bender left down there?”

Katara was silent for a moment, a flurry of emotions warring on her face, before she answered. “The Southern Tribe hasn’t fared half as well as the Northern Tribe during the war. We don’t have one big, huge capital like this, we’re all split up into small villages. The Fire Nation has just been relentless with their raids, and without support from the North and a lack of communication between our sister tribes in the South, they were able to wipe us all out. Except for me.”

“Spirits, Katara…” Y/N set an amiable hand on her shoulder and squeezed, hoping that her softened expression could say what her words couldn’t. “My village was invaded when I was young, too. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.”

She nodded pensively but managed to meet her eyes with an appreciative smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry about your village as well.” Her gaze drifted off, once again taking in the view around them, and when Katara met her eyes again she seemed better. “But we’re here now, and I’m planning to take advantage of everything I can, starting with all this food. Which one of these is your favorite?”

Y/N grinned as Katara pointed at the platter of various dishes in front of them. “Oh, you’ve got to try this. See that giant crab up there? That’s what this is, and you have not lived until you have tried Northern crab.”

Conversation flowed just as easily through the rest of the night between the two girls, occasionally switching to include Sokka and Yue and eventually Aang once he returned. Between the swells of pride whenever they laughed at her jokes, getting to learn about all three of them, and the almost palpable euphoria in the air, Y/N was sure of one thing:

This was the happiest she had felt in a long time. She could only hope it would last.

-

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[layer-of-slayers]

#one of these days I will write a 'the watchers council is a slayer-centric death cult' meta post #as the audience we have a certain perspective because the entire narrative portrays the slayer's mission as Necessary and Right and Noble #if I was a regular loving mom I would be like forces of darkness be damned my kid is not doing this my kid does not deserve this #and the reading of Giles as a perfect supportive father figure is /wild/ in the context of him being someone who > #is constantly requiring Buffy to sacrifice herself literally and figuratively #in terms of sacrificing her life and dreams and personhood for a Good Cause #and even if you want to read it figuratively that is a Certain Kind Of Parent #who we cannot say /genuinely/ has the best interests of their child in mind even when they believe they do #even when they care deeply and believe it's right #and it's so deeply complicated because it's happening in a world where the Slayer is necessary #where the lore says the Slayer is necessary and the sacrifice is necessary #and Giles himself is deeply indoctrinated to believe it's necessary #and Giles himself deeply indoctrinates Buffy and every person in her life to believe it's necessary and the only way #but I feel like people completely miss the implications of the way the series ends #and that it takes Buffy wrestling with this for /so long/ to understand her role in it and how bogus it all is #to say 'no this isn't right and there has to be another way' #and I have a really complicated relationship with the solution that is found #that anyone who can be a slayer will be a slayer #but I choose to believe that more slayers mean those slayers will actually get a /choice/ #I choose to see that in the concept of 'potentials' and that never again will being a slayer in /practice/ be forced upon someone #(note that I am not familiar with any of the post-series canon with how this actually plays out) #but the bigger point is that it makes me feel /sick/ that it's never be suggested #that up until then? nobody says 'actually there has to be another way and a better way' #but as a parent? that's damn well going to be my instinct #y'all are gonna have to find another way because my kid will not be your sacrifice (tags by @harbingrs)

I guess I'm running the risk of sounding like a broken record at this point, but I don't think I'll ever not be deeply depressed by the way so many people on here talk about Joyce Summers.

I mean, I'm just thinking out loud here, but.  Maybe the reason that Giles was much more immediately accepting of Buffy's identity as the Slayer than Joyce was might have something to do with the fact that Giles has been training to be a Watcher for over three decades when he first meets Buffy? That his family sat him down and explained to him that vampires were real when he was a child, and that he's had over thirty years to get used to that fact? And that he is in fact literally paid to train Buffy and mentor her and prepare her for being killed in the Cruciamentum after she turns eighteen and he helps rob her of her powers her destiny? 

Whereas Joyce learns about the reality of vampires and Slayers and the supernatural for the very first time while in a state of extreme emotional distress, only hours after discovering that her daughter is wanted by the police for murder, and in circumstances such that Buffy simply has no time to sit her down and explain things in more detail in the manner they would both want?  Which is a turn of events that can be attributed in large part to the fact that Giles himself repeatedly told Buffy that she couldn't possibly tell her mother about vampires, even after (1) a vampire attacked her in her own home (in Season 1's Angel) and even after (2) the vampire Buffy had been dating, who had a standing invitation into her house, lost his soul and started going after the people closest to her, people explicitly including Joyce. (And note that Giles never offers a better argument for not sharing this potentially life-saving information than Xander's "the more people who know the secret the more it cheapens it for the rest of us".)

I mean, I know you're all pretty wedded to the popular competing theory that it's because *checks notes* Giles is a perfect dad who Buffy should have been much more grateful and sympathetic towards while Joyce is an evil bitch who never once did a good thing for her daughter (and Buffy must be stupid for ever thinking or saying otherwise), but the problem is that that theory is … uh, bad, actually.  Really incredibly cartoonishly bad. And dressing it up in pseudo-progressive language doesn't make it any better.

Wringing your hands over how poorly you think the show writes middle-aged women as if there's simply nothing to be done about it except conclude that they are indeed horrible people (and maybe give them some completely new flaws the show never did), while at the same time you write endless hagiographies and apologia for the show's canonically terrible (and often just as badly under-written) men is definitely a choice though.

And yes, it is definitely true that Giles matters more to the story of Buffy the Vampire Slayer than Joyce does. It is clear that the writers care about him more as a character than they care about Joyce, and that he is consistently used in a metaphorical way that Joyce normally isn't. At best you can perhaps argue that Joyce exists to vocalize and reify Buffy's own lingering desires to be seen as respectable and 'normal', but I don't think this is a reading the show ever commits to in the systematic way it does the Mind/Heart/Spirit reading of Giles/Xander/Willow. But on a less metaphorical level, thinking about the different characters of the show purely as distinct people in their own right, nothing Buffy says or does ever suggests she cares about her relationship with Giles more than her relationship with Joyce. Quite the opposite, in fact.