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signanothername · 3 months ago

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saw your recent post about Nightmare's room for Dream, and it reminded me of a fic, where due to Dream still physically and mentally being 6 in the stone, Nightmare was preparing for what to do now as the 'older brother'

which made me wonder

I'm betting Ink or someone from the Omega Timeline found Dream first when he was freed from the statue

What would've happened had it been Nightmare? When faced with this small six year old who is nothing like he remembers, would Nightmare's true self and corruption be mentally first fighting on what the hell to do?(The mental image of this is a bit comical)

Aw that’s adorable dhhxhxhxh

So funny enough, I kinda already made 2 comics that explored what Nightmare’s reaction will be to a small 6 y/o Dream before, just under completely different circumstances

But here’s the thing, while i have explained before how Nightmare’s corruption works in my eyes, I don’t think I was really clear in my explanations, so I’m taking your ask as an excuse to explain it better >:) (i’ll get back to your main question I promise hdhdhdh i just wanna help you connect some dots when it comes to Nightmare’s behavior)

So something to keep in mind is how Nightmare’s mind isn’t truly strong enough to fight off his corruption/corrupted thoughts from controlling him and guiding his actions, and while Nightmare is in absolute control of his mind, his corruption has shaped it in its own twisted way, that’s why he’s an absolute fucking bitch, that’s why Nightmare can be extremely cruel to those around him

Think of his corruption as a parasite, it feeds off Nightmare’s own pain and in turn it’s what makes Nightmare feel that pain (and his own emotions) magnified times a thousand

So when say a normal person who isn’t corrupted feels anger for example, they would feel that anger through stages from it being a mere mild frustration that turns to anger and then full blown rage (depending on the situation of course), but even then a normal person would be able to control that frustration so it doesn’t escalate to anger and in turn never turns to rage, or even if this person were to immediately jump to rage, then they’ll be able to calm themselves down by venting that anger a bit

Nightmare on the other hand,

A- doesn’t go through those stages for his emotions, he immediately experiences the most intense form of them

and

B- those feelings never go away, they linger and fester inside him like an infestation as it is what his own corruption feeds on

He feels angry? That anger is a full blown rage inside him, he feels sad? That’s crushing depression for him, he feels hate? That hate is nothing but raw loathing for everyone and everything around him, he feels fear? It’s fucking paralyzing to the point Nightmare seeks power so he won’t have to feel afraid, he feels happy? It’s tainted by his now sadistic behavior as Nightmare finds sick satisfaction and glee in hurting those around him

Of course, how he deals with that changes as he grows and learns and adapts, so such emotional intensity/ instability is extremely apparent on him as a newly corrupted 6 y/o who feels all alone and lost in the world while it shapes his personality and who he becomes as an adult with a lot more control over his actions/reactions (corruption + bad experiences that shapes his mind = Mean Girl Bitchmare)

What I’m trying to say is that his corruption contributes to his emotional instability, and that corruption knows what to feed on exactly, it makes it so Nightmare feels dependent on negativity so he won’t have to experience what it’s like to feel powerless again, it feeds on his fear, pain, anger, hatred and it extends to Nightmare’s sadistic cruel actions that in turn brings more negativity, which in turn makes him stronger and by extension the corruption stronger which contributes to magnifying his emotions even more, which leads to more cruelty and so on, it’s a never ending torturous cycle that no one is aware Nightmare’s in.. including Nightmare himself, Nightmare is as much of a victim to his corruption as those poor souls who have to deal with Nightmare cause of it

The corruption magnifies Nightmare’s emotions too much for his mind to even be able to process them let alone regulate them, (and Nightmare already has problems understanding his own emotions to begin with) and in turn that corruption only got to his mind as well

Imagine it this way, Nightmare’s mind is plagued by his now corrupted thoughts, he can’t truly think clearly through the thick suffocating corruption, trauma, and horrifying experience in his first 500 years of corruption, it’s like looking through a broken mirror, the pieces of the mirror are still there, and they still show his reflection, but they’re too distorted and messy to form a clean and clear reflection, Nightmare looks at himself in that mirror, but all he sees is scattered pieces of who he used to be (he can no loger recognize his reflection) and so as Nightmare keeps trying to put the pieces back together, it’s more and more clear that not only do they now show the reflection of he used to be, but also who’d he become, the shattered mirror pieces reflect both his corrupted and passive self in a distorted messy way (that’s who Nightmare is now)

Ok if that’s the case, how come Nightmare has kind moments that contradicts his own corrupted state of being? Cause despite his corruption, he’s still Nightmare, I can never emphasize that enough

Despite the cycle he’s in, despite the state of those shattered pieces of who he used to be, those pieces that has his passive self STILL EXIST alongside his corrupted pieces, Nightmare’s own mind, thoughts, emotions and identity beyond that corruption still linger inside him, even if if in a sort of a limbo state

Ok with that all in mind, what the fuck does that have to do with a 6 y/o Dream? Everything

Just like I showed in the comic before, Nightmare would be too blinded by his own pain and hatred (that’s magnified by his corruption) to actually slow down and realize that Dream is 1- literally still a 6 y/o in mental and physical capacity, and 2- is just as in much pain and with such as much trauma as he is

Nightmare hates Dream with a passion

But the thing is, as I showed in this comic here, apart of Nightmare still deeply cares about Dream, even when Nightmare’s in absolute denial about it, I dare say Nightmare doesn’t even realize how much that lil part of him cares

And that would reflect on how he deals with Dream, Nightmare would be conflicted alright, but his corruption would win first and foremost and as such, he’ll deal with Dream with cruelty (that he later realizes was a mistake)

I will not lie, I’ve yet to decide on what I love to think happened to Dream as a statue, but allow me to say that it’s one of 4 options, I like to believe it’s either

A- Nightmare kept him in Dreamtale beside the corpse of their mother

B- took Dream with him to his own castle where he kept him in a safe space

C- left him in a remote part of the multiverse in an empty universe devoid of life (which later got populated)

D- a combination between A and B and C in a linear timeline (i think option D is my fave so far, but I haven’t made a final decision yet :’D)

That being said, the moment Dream breaks out his stone prison, I believe Dream would be too confused and scared to understand what’s going on, hell, would probably think the Apple incident happened just yesterday, not that 500 years passed (you can imagine Dream’s shock later) only to start frantically searching for Nightmare and when he does find his twin? Nightmare doesn’t look like Nightmare anymore, where’s his golden crown? Where’s his tunic? Why is he so much taller? So many questions, and Nightmare’s not in the mood to answer

Nightmare would definitely be shocked to see Dream out of his prison, a big part of him hates that Dream escaped it, Dream doesn’t deserve to be free, another part of him (the one that cares) is relieved cause turning him to stone was never the plan, and then the more dangerous corrupted part of him is sadistically gleeful, he could finally get a proper payback and to have the golden apple from such a weak, small and helpless child

Dream would start talking about how he wants Nightmare back and you can imagine how pissed Nightmare would be at Dream’s daring audacity to bring up the apple incident

Their first interaction after Dream is finally freed is not at all pleasant (the fact Dream is still a 6 y/o physically and mentally doesn’t deter Nightmare’s cruelty)

Nightmare eventually realizes he should’ve been a lot more merciful on his twin when he first broke out his prison, yet that sadistic gleeful part of him can never be quelled (unbeknownst to Nightmare that the glee he feels at Dream’s misfortune is just his trauma shaped in a twisted manner due to his corruption, he feels like Dream hadn’t suffered like he had, so Nightmare will make Dream suffer himself)

And the rest is (kinda) history :)

#anothers ask #anothers art #dreamtale #nightmare sans #dream sans

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redhoodinternaldialectical · 1 year ago

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I don’t think Jason has ever hated Tim

I recently revived my Jason Todd hyperfixation from its torpor and realized I had... Means and Ways of reading as many comics as I want for free, so I made the transition from Fanon Only to having read Lost Days, Under the Red Hood, Teen Titans #29 (where Jason fights and beats the tar out of Tim), Hush, Red Hood and the Outlaws (the majority of both runs), Red Robin: The Grail, Batman and Robin: Streets Run Red, Green Arrow #70 - #73 (where Jason kidnaps Mia), Battle for the Cowl, and a smattering of other bits and bobs, all within the last month.

I have come to the conclusion that the idea that Jason hated Tim before slowly learning to be okay with him is completely backwards.

Jason starts respecting Tim as a fellow combatant after basically their first meeting, and was sympathizing with him even before. Fandom talks a lot about how Jason repeatedly tried to kill Tim, but I think there’s a good argument to be made that actually Jason has never tried to kill Tim, and there’s a better argument that Jason has never tried to hurt Tim out of a dislike for him.

Tim is the one who feels viciously betrayed by Jason, hates his guts, and depending on if you blend in the New 52 either learns to begrudgingly like him or just stays hatin.

Obviously I need some proof here, since this goes completely against the grain of every relationship interpretation I’ve ever seen for them, so approximately seven miles of character analysis under the cut lmao

I’m gonna try to go in chronological order of the characters’ history here, which means we’re starting with Lost Days, and Jason’s first reaction to finding out there’s a new Robin:

This does not look like anger to me.

Lost Days is only six issues long, and this is the entirety of the pages devoted to Jason’s feelings on Tim. Jason succeeds in a plan that would have almost certainly killed Batman if Jason had gone through with it. Jason undeniably has Joker dead to rights at one point, but lets him go. Jason at no point in this story attempts to harm Tim at all.

Now for Hush.

Context for fanon only folks: this is where the “throat slitting” bit happens.

Context for a lot of confusion: I don’t know if Jason is the one who holds Tim hostage or not.

In the original Hush plot line this is only Clayface; Jason isn’t here at all. It was later retconned in Under the Red Hood that Jason was actually in this fight for... some amount of time. It’s highly unclear to me when they swap out. Probably because originally, they didn’t swap out. Oh well! In either case, it’s now canon that Jason coached Clayface on his acting, so for the purposes of this essay, Imma hold Jason responsible for the throat damages and the words said regardless of who did what!

Right off the bat: this is a hostage taking, not a murder. Yes, Clayson Jayface does nick Tim’s neck and absolutely makes the threat of murdering him to Batman, but it’s clearly a threat. Like, look at this panel:

He is talking a lot. This isn’t an attempt to kill Tim, it’s an attempt to screw with Batman. No matter who this is, they have every reason to expect that Batman will stop them before they do any permanent damage. Can you see that little, blurry, half-hidden line of red? Lets look at what the damage was later on:

The bleeding was stopped by a bit of cloth, some pressure, and he’ll need stitches eventually, but they can clearly wait, and Tim doesn’t seem alarmed. That’s enough to scar, and enough that it is perfectly reasonable for Tim to assume that he would have died if he hadn’t been rescued.

However, Jason being deeply protective of kids is a reasonably consistent character trait. “You really think I’m gonna bring the pain to a ten year old?” Even at Jason’s most villainous, he is willing to put himself in danger in order to protect his own sidekick Scarlet. I think it would be very out of character for him to have gone through with it. Combined with Jason’s later actions and the general fact that a hostage is pretty useless dead, I come to the conclusion that Jason was bluffing.

It is ambiguous though, and I admit that this is probably the weakest link in the “Jason never tried to kill him” chain.

But enough of that, was he angry with him? Is the hate there?

I argue no, and that really there’s no emotional investment in Tim at all. In terms of hard numbers the pages Jalay Toddface spends holding Tim hostage is 3 and the number he spends fighting Batman is 13 and the number of times he even so much as LOOKS at Tim is ZERO, like actually, literally ZERO TIMES. He does not spare poor Timmy a SINGLE GLANCE.

Now make a special note here because those three pages of no eye contact from someone who might not even be Jason are the ONLY times that Tim is called Pretender or Imposter.

I’m relying on this research done by Kiragecko: https://kiragecko.tumblr.com/post/128411908944/bat-sibling-interaction It only goes up to Battle for the Cowl, (as does this essay it turns out, I just don’t know how to bridge between that and the New 52) so it isn’t every interaction ever, but it’s still excellent research, go leave a like.

According to them: “Comments: Tim thinks about Jason a lot while he’s first training. He imagines the former Robins giving him pep talks, and uses them to fight off fear gas. When Jason comes back, though, Tim’s really nasty, especially in his head. Jason, however, is somewhat respectful. He usually calls Tim ‘Tim’, and seems to kind of like him. ‘Pretender’ and ‘Imposter’ are things that CLAYFACE said, not Jason.“

How many times are those said? Once. Each. That’s it. As a comment under the Jason and Tim post done by Kiragecko points out, “Replacement” doesn’t even get used.

Under the Red Hood is basically THE Jason Todd comic. To my memory he doesn’t interact with Tim in it. However, it does contain that aforementioned reconning! So we get to see his reasoning during this encounter.

And it very very clearly isn’t at all about Tim.

Moving on to Titans Tower, which is indisputably focused on Tim: When he fights Tim, he is absolutely violent and over the line, but he’s NOT out of his head. Jason is clearly very lucid and careful about what he’s doing.

Is he angry? Of course! He’s angry at the Titans who in his mind cared about him way less than their other members, and accepted a replacement robin as though his life, his whole flesh and blood self, was something that could be so easily forgotten and swapped out.

But I think it would be a mistake to assume that Jason’s at all mad that he isn’t Robin anymore.

A very interesting direct parallel to this fight is when Jason kidnaps Mia, Green Arrow’s sidekick Speedy, fights her, appeals to their commonalities and encourages her to solve crime his way rather than Green Arrow’s way.

In both scenarios Jason engineers a way to isolate a sidekick and attempts to teach them something through combat. He makes a direct appeal to them against their mentors, and seems genuine about what he’s saying. He also lets both of them live, and with Mia is honestly pretty damned polite about it all. At least, as polite as a guy can be about kidnapping you and encouraging you to try to kill him in your high school gym that he definitely should not know about.

The plain fact of the matter is that Jason knocked Tim out, had time to paint his whole ass name way up high on a wall, and did not kill him. This is the same Jason who just prior to that took out all of Tim’s allies non-lethally. The same Jason who kept Mia’s protector’s busy non-lethally. The same Jason who cuts Mia free and gives her weapons back and starts slow in their fighting to make sure he doesn’t hurt her too badly. The same Jason who seems to feel very strongly that killing, trafficking, or selling drugs to kids is an unforgivable offense and very clearly sees Tim as a kid.

Quite frankly, this reads not like a murder, and not like a jealous beatdown, but an attempt to convince Tim that he’s going to get himself killed and needs to get out while he still can. In Jason’s mind before they meet, Tim is purely A Robin, a kid who deserves better than to be put into danger against the same monsters over and over again until he finally slips up and dies.

Is this a hairbrained and back asswards way of doing that? Yes! But it does track for someone who tries to do all of his talking through his actions, which do speak louder than words, but unfortunately C-4 loudness is not actually a significant boon to nuanced communication.

If you want to put it in a less charitable way (and maybe we should, this is a bonkers asshole move on Jason’s part no matter how you slice it) then we can say Jason is testing Tim, trying to see if this one has what it takes to be better than he was, to survive where he couldn’t. Personally I think it’s a mix of both, and for this end of that emotional mess: Tim passes the test.

Jason leaves while talking about Tim in present tense, showing that he has every expectation of Tim being alive, and praises him in the process:

Did you know that the fun panel of Tim kicking Jason in the nuts is actually from the same comic run, about twenty or so issues later?

Did you know that the argument they were having starts with Dick and Tim wrestling with Jason and accusing him of a murder he did not commit, and in fact tried to save the victim from?

Did I mention yet that the death in question was of Duela Dent, aka the JOKER’S DAUGHTER, whom Jason caught attempting to hold a young woman hostage for ransom? And that Jason repeatedly shot her getaway balloon instead of her and then tried to save her life immediately afterwards despite the fact that she was going to let the hostage plummet to their death? And it is implied that part of the reason he’s so easy on her is because of “Once a Titan always a Titan” loyalty, with this being our first clue that Jason isn’t the one shooting at her anymore?

Did I also mention that he comes to her funeral in part to be around Donna (the starry leotard lady whose statue he smashed) because it’s nice to be around people who understand being displaced by their own death? And that the one who sticks up for him in this scene is Donna?

At risk of negating my own thesus here, I’d say it’s reasonable to think that maybe Jason feels rage-hate for Tim in this “kicked in the dick while Dick grins smugly” moment.

Lets go now to Robin #177 at the tail end of the 1993 to 2003 run - Bruce has “died” and Tim hasn’t yet gone on his epic quest to find him. Tim finds Jason unifying street gangs with the intent to bring them under control and solve the current crisis. He appeals to Tim for help with this, in fact he comes off as almost puppy dog eager to work with him, and seems really sad when he says fuck no.

This is one of the first fights in which Tim really holds his own against Jason, and I am very proud of him, yes :3

This gets Jason arrested. Then Tim actually goes through with a heavily modified, less violent version of Jason’s plan that Jason didn’t think could work. A few issues later, when Tim decides that he’s going to try to honor what Bruce would have wanted by springing Jason out of jail, Jason makes note of that.

Jason is pretty damned civil at their next meeting, even though Tim makes it pretty damned clear he doesn’t want him around.

And now... we have to talk about Battle for the Cowl.

I’ve seen it described as a masterclass in how NOT to write Jason Todd, due to it portraying him as being an absolutely off his rocker anger murder violence man. I am inclined to agree.

In this three issue comic Jason Todd has been dRiVeN mAd (in the most bullshit comic sense of that word) by Bruce’s will... telling him to go to therapy. Yeah. So uh, he dons a Batman suit to shoot people in AND pretends to be Black Mask so he can enslave a bunch of villains Amanda Waller style, and like it gets weird from there. It is an extremely jarring transition from that last scene to GUNS BAT HATE MAN.

He still does not hate Tim in it. I really, seriously thought I was going to have to make a lot of excuses for this portion but then the more I read of it the more vindicated I was cause let me repeat: One of the most unhinged with Bat hate and crazy juice versions of Jason ever put to print does not hate Tim at all.

Hell, he likes Tim! He compliments him!

And on top of that, even though he is MUCH more lethal against his fellow robins when they attack him - Jason straight up shoots a ten year old Damian in the chest. It’s fucked. - There is still evidence to suggest that Jason deliberately didn’t kill Tim when he had ample opportunity.

Jason first of all never hunts Tim down. I’ve heard Battle for the Cowl described as Jason tracking Tim down or kidnapping him or going after him to force him to Be His Robin, but that’s just not how it goes.

Instead he waits for Tim to come find his Batcave, disorients him, and goes for a ton of surface cuts. He only actually goes for a real body blow after Tim picks up a crowbar and beats Jason across the face with it a few times.

(Again, proud of you Timmy)

After the stabbing, Jason doesn’t just leave Tim there; this isn’t a matter of hurrying on before he could check. He’s seen dragging Tim off. When Nightwing later comes to rescue him, Dick is downright certain Jason is lying to him about Tim being dead because Jason is refusing to show him the body and Dick figures it’s because he knows there’s no body to show (if in part because he can’t let himself believe Tim is dead without hard proof).

Tim himself wonders about this, noting that the batterang was rusted and shattered on his armor.

Sure, Tim used playing possum to make his pulse slow to a near stop for a while, maybe that fooled Jason, but keep in mind that BRUCE taught Tim that skill, and if there’s one thing these comics have established, it’s that Jason is dangerous precisely because he is so intimately familiar with the techniques of the Bat. Jason even makes specific note of the fact that Tim being trained like Bruce and fighting like Bruce would be his downfall at the beginning of their fight.

The whole comic leaves me wondering just how much of what happened went completely according to Jason’s plan. I really would not put it passed him to engineer a ‘death in the family’ recreation for the next Batman in line! As much as I agree that this is garbage characterization for him in many many ways, I do think Jason makes a fantastic villain. I love to see him run rings around the Bats in some places, and make lemonade out of getting his ass kicked in others.

No matter how we interpret the stabbing here though, what does seem very clear to me is that Jason makes the Be My Robin offer to Tim first and foremost because he thinks pretty highly of Tim! He’s been rejected by Tim at least three times over but keeps holding a hand out for him. This does not seem like Tim hater reaction hours here!

Also that whole thing about kids being dragged into this vigilante life irresponsibly? Yeah that’s still there!

I have TRIED to find evidence that Jason hates Tim at like literally any point here. I have gone through the shit people point to. I have looked at the context around those and dug up more obscure interactions for second and third views. Everywhere I look I just see more instances of Jason complimenting Tim!! It’s driving me nuts!

The only conclusion that I can come to is that people read this stuff and just trust that Tim is right about Jason. Tim’s internal view waaay more closely resembles fandom interpretation. Tim assumes that Clayson Toddface would absolutely have killed him in cold blood, that Jason beat the shit out of him purely to prove he was stronger, that he’s a brute, a moron, an active danger to society, and that every bit of leniency given to him will result in betrayal and death.

I don’t have clearer proof for it, but I also don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Tim probably believes Jason has it out for him and holds him responsible for his replacement.

So yeah. As a fascinating reversal of my expectations going in: I don’t think Jason has ever hated Tim, but boy fuckin howdy has Tim HATED Jason.

#jason todd #tim drake #character analysis #jason todd and tim drake #jason todd & tim drake #jaytim #jason todd/tim drake #robin #red hood #red robin

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angelstate · 10 months ago

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“Broken People, Broken Things”

Broken!Simon x Kind!Reader

In times of need it's difficult for him to speak up, a nagging feeling on his chest, a sinful voice in his mind that tells him he doesn’t deserve the help he needs, that after going through so much in life he should've learned to not ask for help.

an alack sentiment filling his head, a loss of hope so profound that makes him feel hollow, no amount of soil can fill the hole in his chest. is terrifying, the absence of himself on his body, as if he can only be the shell of what he once was.

a stray dog who bites the hand that tries to feed him used to be hurt rather than helped. He knows it’s not all his fault, that life wasn’t kind to him from the very start but guilt still manages to spill through crevices, straining his sanity.

it doesn’t matter how much you try to pull him out of his self-depreciation state, his already too far gone into his own head, thoughts of self-hatred already engraved for him to be eaten alive in the middle of the night.

it’s a cannibalistic situation, being the consumer and the consumed, harming himself until he’s bleeding then wincing at the pain, licking the blood of his wound like a harmed animal, self-sufficient and self-destructive, infecting himself with more pain than he already was in, a cycle of torture with no easy ending to relieve him from the pressure in his chest.

in a world where people's opinion of you controls the way your life plays out, he understands clearly why he didn’t amount to anything worth praising, he can recognize that his life was meant to start and end in one painful motion, surrounded by nothing but despair.

He finds it comical, how life pulls his strings and leads him to suffering when he hasn’t recovered from past wounds, like the universe wants to see how clever he can get to salvage his worthless life, how badly he wants to survive despite having no motive to live.

“Are you listening to me?” you speak, voice soft and kind, pulling him out of his thoughts, like being pulled out of the ocean by a kind stranger who saw him struggle to swim, being helped to fill his lungs with air and not water. he looks down to meet your gaze, your doe eyes always holding a warmth to them, your smile of understanding and patience he doesn’t think he deserves.

“Sorry, I got distracted for a second” he answers, voice low and gruff, tongue rolling with a heaviness created by his thoughts, he should’ve listened to you speak rather than lose himself in his mind, you are the only normality his life still has, the only thing he doesn’t associate to a bad memory.

“s’okay..it’s late either way, I should let you go to sleep” you reply, sounding apologetic as you always do, looking down with what he can only guess to be embarrassment, you shouldn’t feel that way, you should never feel ashamed, he knows you never mean any harm, only acting on love and friendliness.

“I’m not tired yet” he lies, he is tired, his body is aching and begging to rest but his mind feels more active than ever, two entities disconnected and acting on their own accord, he wants to lay down and rest but he doesn’t want to leave, not yet…please, not right now.

He remembers when he was a kid, not older than 4 years old, and terrified of the night, fearing something was hiding in it, waiting for the perfect moment to attack, to kill him. His father's screams in the other room and objects crashing against the walls only fueled his fear, that when the sun goes down, the world knows no peace, that monsters come out and are searching to kill him, to kill his mother.

He never grew out of that, he knew monsters as he believed before weren’t real, but that doesn’t mean that a similar evilness isn’t around, a sort of plague, a parasite that spreads every time he blinks. nights for him didn’t get much better either, something about the quietness didn’t feel right, a wave of doom he couldn’t escape on his chest, he could only stare at the door of his room while waiting for the sun to rise, only then being able to sleep.

“I thought you would be tired, you worked so hard today” you comment, it had been mere seconds that passed until you spoke but it felt like ages, like the time slowed down, once again the universe toying with his sanity.

you always acknowledge his efforts, his actions, and his reasoning even if you are far off of what he intended, you’re always so nice to him, pretending the rumors and whispers about his past and intentions don’t reach your ears, that you aren’t aware of them when he can’t begin to remember the amount of times he heard about them, too many to count, that’s for sure.

“it was nothing…don’t worry” he answers, but oh how much you worry, concern filling your mind every time your eyes land on him, the tiredness in his eyes evident, his heavy steps a clear sign of his body tired of carrying his weight around. you wish you could lure him into his room, put him to sleep, be able to grant him a good night's rest.

Does he want to rest? Does he deserve to rest?

he feels numb at times, something lacking in his brain, stopping him from fully connecting and experiencing his feelings. It doesn't get any easier with every passing day, hours blend together and before he knows it he’s back by your side, your praises for working so hard and doing things he doesn’t find enjoyable for the sake of everyone else around him.

“Want a cup of tea?” you offer, tilting your head to the side, voice softer and sweeter, like one that people use to lure an animal close, trying to capture him and give him a home. It’s unsettling to him how good you make the idea of being welcomed in a home and not being terrified by the people living in it, like that’s a possibility, like if he lets you put him in that cage he won’t regret it.

“would appreciate it if you made me one” he replies, hesitant and doubtful even if you have never shown a sign of evilness, but anyone who offers him something must want something back, he knows it, he was taught that was how it worked. he doesn’t know what you want, what he can give you, and that terrifies him more, he doesn’t want to owe you anything.

“Okay” you say and leave the room with quiet steps, he doesn’t dare to move from his place, eyes focused on the place you were standing a few seconds ago, he’s alone in the room, being able to hear you open the kitchen door and move things around.

he knows you’re only a few feet away, in another room, the door open and your movements are skilled and soft, but you’re still a person in another room, and he is standing alone, in the darkness remaining because the lamp on the corner table does nothing but illuminate the objects that resting on the surface, everything else is dark.

everything else makes him remember when he was a kid and he was scared, he doesn’t want to be scared anymore.

He stumbles for a second, his foot taking a step back before he can realize he is moving, losing his balance and regaining it quickly. It feels like he’s falling apart from the inside out, a pillar inside of him deteriorating to the point he isn’t able to stand the weight of his past.

He doesn't know what to do, why it affects him so much your kindness and why now out of any other time he feels like he can’t stand the fact you’re in another room, you’re not his father, you're not dangerous, you’re not his mother, you’re not in danger. So why is he so worried he feels like suffocating?

you affect him in ways he doesn’t like, it makes him feel self-conscious about everything he's gone through in his life, he doesn't understand why you bring that out of him, you are not linked to his past, you’re part of the fresh start he created for himself because of guilt.

maybe you remind him of the kindness he was denied, you remind him of what he could've had if life had been any kinder to him when he needed it when he was just a kid, when he feared his father would kill his mother and him one night, in the middle of the dark with no one to save him.

God, you shouldn’t be kind to people like him, who know nothing but to tarnish everything and everyone around him, he is poison and you’re too pure to even associate with him, your kindness shouldn’t be wasted on him he doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t deserve you.

He hears something shattering and follows not even a second later a scream of pain that could only come from you, his eyes dart towards the door, the hallway dark and the winces of pain continue.

For a second, a small fraction of a second he doubts the legitimacy of your injury, thinking his memories are getting to him, making him imagine something that isn’t at all happening, then he hears you fall to the ground, sobs ripping through your mouth and he knows it’s real.

He leaves the room with heavy steps, he’s adjusted to the darkness of the place but moves around, turning lights on with a freakish fear, wanting to have a clear vision even though he’s going straight towards his fear.

He reaches the kitchen and enters, his eyes moving around until he spots you on the floor, curled into yourself, hand bloody and burned, the broken cup and hot tea not even a meter away from you as you sob, holding your injured hand out as to not further damage the wound.

the image brings back memories he doesn’t allow himself to indulge in, moving around till he reaches you, grabbing the wrist from your injured hand with a sudden move, making you scream for a second before realizing is him who grabbed you, his eyes are strained on the wound, your skin looks irritated and half of your hand is soaked in blood.

“What happened?” he asks, tugging at your wrist as if the pain will make you speak any faster, he isn’t the kindest but he doesn’t mean to be harsh either, the panic is just too much on his bones to not let it out somehow, you’re the only person he knows is able to stab yourself with his sharp edges and survive to forgive him.

“I slipped and the cup fell on my hand…tried cleaning it but I cut myself” you explain through sobs and whimpers, trying to get your hand out of his grasp but every movement makes the pain of your wound stronger.

It’s stupid, how you managed to get yourself to fuck up something as simple as a cup of tea, it wasn’t a hard task, the floor hadn’t been mopped since hours ago and yet you still slipped and injured yourself like a baby deer with unstable limbs.

you shake your head, embarrassment once again plaguing your mind, he doesn’t differ with you, he doesn’t think you shouldn’t be ashamed of your mistake, you should be, you are ashamed and he agrees with you but for different reasons.

He thinks you should be ashamed of not calling out his name for help, for sitting on the ground and crying instead of asking for his assistance, you deserve to be helped when injured, and you deserve to be taken care of despite having made this mistake before.

you can make the same error again and still deserve to be forgiven and aided.

Because you’re human, and most importantly you are you, the woman who rescues everyone from their troubles like they are trapped in a burning building, you do everything and anything to make sure the people you love are safe and happy.

He can begin to understand why you think he’s worth the effort, maybe it’s pity, maybe with just one look at him and his reputation you can make out everything there is to know about him, every past trauma, every scar, every emotional issue he can’t let go of.

“It's fine…we’re going to be fine” He says, looking into your eyes, a silent promise you can’t decipher, you nod, pretending that you didn’t notice he aligned himself with your struggle, making himself a part of the situation so you wouldn’t be alone.

he doesn’t want that sort of faith for you.

He softly guides you to stand up from the ground, moving you towards the sink, standing behind you as he turns on the faucet, holding your injured hand and letting the cold water wash away the blood and cool off your irritated skin.

his breathing brushes on your neck, and the warmth of his chest spreads across your entire body as traps you between the counter and himself, it doesn’t have any malice in his touch nor does he mean anything sexual by it.

It’s the worry that has his body glued to yours, the need to surround you so you won’t get injured again, as one hides with their siblings somewhere in the house when your parents begin fighting again, it’s something natural that comes to him, used to protect and preserve the people he didn’t want getting hurt.

“I'm sorry for screwing up your tea” you apologize with a soft whisper, eyes focused on the blood washing away, it doesn’t hurt a lot anymore, just a small sting that lingers a bit uncomfortably, tolerable but not ideal.

you’re truly apologetic, you knew he didn’t get much sleep, that resting wasn’t something he usually did so you had tried to help him but in the end, it seemed you only caused more panic in his soul, his pupils still blown out as he assisted you with cleaning the wound, as if he was doing it for more reasons than just kindness.

maybe he was, you don’t know his full story after all, maybe you remind him of someone, of something he had buried a long time ago that you brought to the surface again and left him with anxiousness on his chest and worry in his mind.

“s’alright… it’s too late for tea either way” he comforts you the best he can, the best his words and feelings will let him right now, he isn’t upset about the mistake you made, anyone can fall, anyone can break a cup, he didn’t care about that, messes get cleaned up, a cup of tea isn’t as valuable as your health, you should know that.

It's too late for tea, and it’s too late for the amount of tears that continue to pour out of your eyes even though the pain isn’t overwhelming anymore, this time is your feelings, your physical state has nothing to do with the tears falling out and you’re too ashamed to admit it.

“I wanted to help you…I'm sorry Si” you speak again, a small hiccup interrupting your words but you don’t let that stop you from telling him how sorry you are that you managed to mess up one of the only things you knew he liked, tea.

“wanna make another one then?” he asks you, offering to let you try again, a second opportunity he knew you deserved and wanted, and even though he wasn’t in the mood for tea or anything at all, he was going to drink what you want to make him, even if it’s the last thing he does.

you shake your head, sniffling as you close the faucet softly with your noninjured hand, looking down as neither of you moves away from each other or makes the attempt to gain some distance. You didn’t want to make it again, didn’t want to risk embarrassing yourself and making the same mistake, this time in front of him.

“don’t want to screw up again” you answer him, voice low and full of shame. He understands you, maybe second chances aren’t always appreciated and he accepts that you don’t want to try again tonight.

He sees himself in you more than he wants to right now, more than he thought he ever would actually. He guessed that even someone like you could come from a not-so-pretty background, one where making mistakes is a sin that cannot be let go of without punishment.

different houses, different torture, same ending.

because of that, some part of him has to care for you, you deserve that, he cannot believe it enough even though he won’t say it out loud, don’t want to be caught by other people and have you end up being a outcast like him, you don’t deserve that, you don’t deserve that ending.

He makes you turn around softly so you’re facing him, his hands wiping away your tears with a gentle touch, he wished he could do more, turn back time and help you make the cup of tea, or go even further and stop whatever made you believe making a small mistake was such a high offense.

“Are you alright?” he asks, aware you aren’t but it feels cordial to make the question either way, giving you an opportunity to express more than you normally would, he knows you don’t talk enough about your feelings and it’s time you do.

“It’s not fair that you suffer so much and I can't even do something to help you” you reply and his heart stops for a second, the blood on his vein also coming to a halt as he feels himself being delirious of your words.

you did not hold such sentiment for him, nobody did, nobody has and nobody will. That was his life, a never-ending cycle of being looked down upon and having to do everything by himself because why would anyone want to help him or even try to? it’s stupid, you’re being stupid.

“Don’t say that darling..” he shushes you softly, his hands moving to caress your hair, he shakes his head, not wanting to believe you actually care, not wanting to get hope out of lies, it wouldn’t be pretty if he did and you broke his heart in the end.

“years of pain always lead up to isolation, you don’t deserve that” Captain Price once told him after a tough mission, and the words replay in his mind as he has you in his arms, the water mixed with droplets of blood on your hand staining the kitchen floor as he holds you gently.

He's living like his dead, and he doesn’t like it, doesn’t like he drags you to that same misery every time you’re around him but he doesn't want to let go of.

what is not devotion but to become a better person for the one you love?

“I appreciate your intention sweetheart…” he says as the silence from you eats him alive, wanting to make the ache on your chest disappear, he had never wanted to make you suffer, even unintentionally.

he is ready to repair everything broken so you won’t get harmed ever again, he’s ready to repair himself for you.

He had never wanted to become what he hates, a lover, a sentimental person, and yet as he finds himself becoming all of that and more, he can’t help but enjoy it, especially if it means never letting go of you.

Love wasn’t something he knew much of, never got the chance to learn when he was a kid and for a very long time he thought it wasn’t real, a mythical feeling everyone lied about existing so they wouldn’t be alone for the rest of their lives.

Your existence and kindness prove him wrong, your persistence in trying to make life easier for him, the way you laughed, the way you acted, your personality, your likes, and dislikes, everything about you showed him that love was real and he was experiencing it with you.

even if it took a lot of time for him to realize it he did now, and he loved you a lot, more than he would ever let on, more than any piece of literature could ever describe.

Tomorrow is a new day, and another cup of tea can be made, you cannot cry for what was never lost, and his gaze never falters from you so you don’t have to worry, he will always help you, you’re his air and he is yours.

Love cannot easily be tarnished and he swears he will never let anything happen to the one the two of you share, even if that is the only thing he does with his final breath.

(little reminder: I'm taking requests if you guys want me to write about something specific xx)

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fire-fira · 10 months ago

Note

I am not sure how much you are into analysis but I want to ask. Do you think raph isn’t as good of a fighter compared to his brothers? because I have a feeling either he’s holding back when sparring with them over fear of harming them or he’s not as good as them.

Anon, you just made my day because this gives me an excuse to nerd out at length. (Though apologies that it took me so long to get this fully written out and posted.)

Disclaimer before I launch into it in full: to fairly compare Raph to his brothers I'm going to do a brief run-down of the three of them before breaking into the full details on him. A lot of this is built on extrapolation from details in various canons and at times might edge toward headcanon territory, though I'll be trying to stick with what's actually present.

With that out of the way--

Comparing Raph to His Brothers

So to start with, I can only fairly do this deep-dive by briefly touching on each of his brothers before getting to Raph himself. I'll say upfront that I think it's less a question of which one is the "best fighter" and more that they're each different types of fighters, each with their own strengths and weaknesses and which might land any of them in the position of "the best" depending on the circumstances.

Leo

Strengths: This is an extrapolation based on various iterations (2003, 2007, 2012, 2014/2016, ROTTMNT, 2023, Batman vs. TMNT, and a little bit of the IDW comics), but Leo strikes me as a tactician-- as the guy who can extrapolate to fifteen different possibilities for the outcome of a fight and fifteen steps ahead of everyone else on each of those possibilities. At his best he knows how to play to his brothers' strengths, put them where needed, and let them go to do their own thing. He's also persistent and willing to put himself through his paces over and over again until he 'perfects' what he wants to learn how to do. As a "traditional" (romanticized) example of a warrior, he is the golden boy of the family. Rise Leo might be a little less likely to get every step 'just so,' but most iterations of him aim to be as flawless as possible in terms of his combat skills. In his ideal world, he will never have a misplaced swing of a sword or inflict any damage he doesn't intend to. That depth of knowledge and highly-trained skill can be damned terrifying for his enemies if it's taken to its fullest extreme.

Weaknesses: His perfectionism and desire to get things 'just right' is a double-edged sword. In the 2003 series it got wrapped up in his PTSD and the need to never make a critical mistake again (which... didn't work out well for him-- hi, shades of Raph at his worst); in the 2007 movie it led him to think his efforts to learn how to be a better leader weren't "good enough" and kept him away from home for two years; in the 2012 series it led him to ignore critical injuries and try to bully himself into being 'better' (when realistically what he did during the farmhouse arc probably would have permanently destroyed one of his knees); in the 2014/2016 movies it led him to temporarily damage his relationship with his brothers by spilling over the worst of his internal perfectionistic vitriol onto them; and in Rise it at times has turned him into a showoff who'll act without letting the others in on his plan (which can backfire horrendously in a worst-case scenario) because if he does it without telling others what he's going to do, then he gets bragging rights if it works out like he planned. Underlying all this is what could turn into an unmanageable case of anxiety depending on the version of Leo and how personally stable he is, as well as how susceptible he is to ruminating over where he feels he went wrong. To say nothing of how many versions of Leo have a GIANT self-sacrificing streak when it comes to their families. Under the right circumstances-- and if someone really intended to make it hurt-- they could easily play all that against Leo and get him to freeze due to overthinking. (Though getting him to that level would take an extreme case and some severe emotional damage to weaponize his guilt.)

Speed: OKAY. Here's where things get a little more cut-and-dried in my opinion-- if a fight is down to just speed anyway. Leo might be pretty neck-in-neck with Raph in terms of speed, maybe just a touch faster due to (generally) being more lean-built than Raph. Leo's not a tank; yes he can fight in close quarters or mid-range and hold his own, but if he can then he tends to be 'slippery' about it. He's not going to batter away at an enemy if he can spin out of range before darting back in and dodging whatever hits he can. If it's just a matter of speed without any other factors involved, then there's a good chance Leo will win in a fight against Raph. If it's a question of strength and endurance though... Well, I'll expand further on that when I get to Raph.

Adaptability: This is something that is absolutely dependent on which version of Leo we're talking about and how hung up that version is on his plans without taking the general chaos of life into account. 2012 and 2014/2016 Leo both are guilty of getting so hung up on the idea that their approach to a combat situation is the right way that they fail to plan for the fact that their brothers' ways of doing things isn't their way of doing things. Which blows up in their faces spectacularly sometimes. IF it's a version of Leo who's more likely to fail to take into account his brothers' differing styles, then Raph might easily play that against him and deliberately do things Leo would find unpredictable (though probably not as much as Mikey, lbr). For versions of him that are better about knowing that his own approach isn't the only/'best' approach, then Leo would be better able to roll with whatever Raph throws his way, within reason.

Combat Style/Approach: Mid-to-close-range, tactician, and definitely NOT a grappler. Yes, his skills and training have him moving with muscle memory when he needs to, but even so, there's a split-second awareness of what his opponent(s) could do and instinctively reacting based on what he's met with. A lot of that means he has to be free to move and avoid getting held in place, or things might go bad quickly.

Donnie

Strengths: No matter which iteration of Donnie you're talking about, you're generally talking about an engineer who's able and willing to casually heft up and carry around a car engine with his bare hands. And considering (with a quick google search) it looks like the average car engine weighs anywhere between 300 to 700 pounds, that alone is proof enough that no one in their right mind would ever want to be punched by Donnie. And considering there are instances where he's able to temporarily support the weight of himself and his brothers (a couple of scenes in the 2003 series are what immediately come to my mind, but that's just my favorite iteration showing itself) it's proof that he has that strength not just in his arms. To give you an idea of just how much weight that implies he can lift, here's a size and weight comparison of some of the largest turtle species currently living.*

Notice anything? Like how... Oh... I dunno... a 4-foot-long Loggerhead sea turtle can weigh up to 400 pounds? Or a 3-foot-long Leatherback sea turtle can weigh 550 pounds on the light end? (Note: this is not meant to be snarky or condescending, just a simple statement of fact that all signs point to these boys are fucking HEAVY.) And that huge amount of weight relative to their body size seems to be pretty consistent among turtle species from what I've seen with my digging around. Which logically implies that the same holds true for these boys, and if we play fast-and-loose with the idea that we can roughly translate length to height... well... For general weight of the boys, I tend to assume at least 200 pounds, at least for those under and up to about 5-foot-tall. For the 2014/2016 set I might even suggest somewhere between 400-500 pounds-- but roughly comparing weight to size with that table of large turtle species, I'm probably severely underestimating their weight all across the board. Being generous, hypothetically saying all four of the 2003 turtles are about 240, that then means there are moments in the 2003 series where Donnie is temporarily lifting around 960 pounds, including himself. AND THAT MIGHT BE A SEVERE UNDERESTIMATION. Terrifying, right? So yes, Donnie is unquestionably strong as hell and maintains that strength by working on his various projects, and a full-force hit from him would land someone in a hospital-- if they're lucky. The other main thing working for him is that he's a tech genius. No, he's typically not as rigid or disciplined in his training as Leo is, but if he has access to tech and distance then he has a whole host of weapons and traps he can bring to the party (something which Rise Donnie excels at in spades). Raph's a much more physical direct-confrontation fighter, but Donnie has the capacity to turn entire environments against his enemies, depending on the means he has at his disposal.

Weaknesses: For better or worse, Donnie's primary personal strength-- the one he leans on above all else-- is his intellect and being able to puzzle things out. And again, he's an engineer: yes he can lift and move that terrifying amount of weight, but he's usually not doing it at speed. (Because let's be real, moving heavy and potentially very breakable machinery is not something you want to do quickly when you want to be able to use or repurpose said machinery.) He's not a slouch when it comes to his ninjutsu training, but there's a reason why the concept of Donnie pulling the 'I'm too busy to train right now' is a widespread fandom concept. It doesn't necessarily mean that he's not 'as good of a ninja', but more that he's not a 'traditional' ninja and has had to adapt things to his preferred methods. Yes he has a lot of physical strength, but he prefers to keep a distance from his opponent(s) if possible. Doing so, having that distance, gives him more time to plan and respond-- because unlike Leo, a lot of iterations of Donnie don't have that ingrained ability to read the possible actions their opponent(s) might take and respond on a dime (or at least not to the same level). Raph's tendency to brute force things-- something which Donnie technically could do but clearly does not like to-- might be somewhat unpredictable for him, especially because that puts Raph in close and doesn't give Donnie as much time to respond as he would like. All that said, Donnie could technically win a fight against Raph without his tech if he pretty much said to hell with fighting and decided to do an imitation of an octopus. At the very least he could probably hold him in one place if he was quick enough and managed to get Raph's arms pinned. And somehow kept him from walking. (It wouldn't be a dignified win, but it might still technically be a win.)

Speed: I'm gonna be honest, I do not think speed is on Donnie's side in comparison to his brothers. If he really makes an effort (rather than just going his own route and pursuing his interests) he'd probably be able to keep up with the others going at full tilt for a little while, but he'd probably tire out first. A lot of the work he does due to his areas of expertise is fairly sedentary, and frequently he needs to move with slow and deliberate precision. There's a lot of fine muscle control involved in that kind of work (especially if it involves maneuvering something heavy), but being able to consistently do that doesn't automatically translate to being able to do something similar at high speed. But that's okay, because if he has the distance and varied means of attack he needs, then he doesn't have to worry about keeping up with his brothers for an extended period of time-- it just has to be long enough.

Adaptability: If it involves tech or computer systems, Donnie's ability to adapt to a situation is unparalleled. Give him unrestrained access to an unfamiliar and shiny (and incredibly pervasive) system and he'll be able to make it seem like a tech apocalypse is targeting one specific person if he wants to. If it's a head-to-head physical fight though, it really depends on how desperate he is or how much breathing room he has (or both). If he's frazzled and panicky then there's the possibility he'll miss several opportunities or potential tools and, in a worst-case scenario, he might freeze. (An extreme example of this is how Rise Donnie gave up fighting the crab men when his tech failed, after all his brothers had already failed in that fight.) If he has time and space to think then he's practically unstoppable, but if he doesn't have that breathing room then chances are things won't end well for him.

Combat Style/Approach: Distance fighter, brain-over-brawn, could be a grappler if necessary but uncomfortable enough with it that it might work against him, might as well dub him a 'trap master' for the little surprises he might leave in his wake if he's feeling spiteful. He's a schemer, but not a chess master.

Mikey

Strengths: If there's one thing that can be said for Mikey it's the fact that most versions of him are innately gifted at picking up kinesthetic knowledge, to say nothing of the fact that he tends to be the most spiritually gifted of the brothers. In fact in several series (2003 and 2012 off the top of my head, though I'm certain it may have popped up in others) it's briefly mentioned that if Mikey really buttoned down and was completely serious about his ninja skills he would outclass Leo-- which means that he can naturally slide into the level of skill Leo has worked for years to achieve without even really thinking about it. If he wants to. And most of the time he doesn't want to. (Too much responsibility being that serious, so who can blame him?) However, his not constantly going at the equivalent of Level 99 in a videogame in fights isn't necessarily a detriment to him, because he has other ways to stay true to himself while giving himself an edge. Like being annoying on purpose. And knowing how to aggravate the hell out of his opponents until he tricks them into getting sloppy. Until he tricks them into giving him easy openings they should REALLY know better than to give him-- and would if he hadn't deliberately torn their nerves to shreds. If it's not obvious, I'm saying versions of Mikey like to play mind-games, and if they really want to they can be vicious about it and make it HURT. (Though again, most versions of Mikey are more invested in goofing off and playing around than being outright vicious or serious.) The point is, if he finds a mental opening that sticks, then how invested he is in winning the fight will dictate how serious he is about exploiting that weakness. To say nothing about how creative he can get when he really wants to be.

Weaknesses: The downfall of a lot of Mikeys is how distractable a lot of them can be. (I won't say this is a universal fact because I'm a big fan of there being variation among different realities, but a lot of Mikeys definitely being ADHD doesn't help. How well said version is able to compensate probably also varies.) So depending on the circumstances and the environment, Raph might be able to play that distractibility against him. (Buuuut that would require Raph to play mind-games, and most Raphs aren't the 'mind-game' type.) Plus, for better or worse, it takes a LOT to get most versions of Mikey to the point where he's ready to say 'Fuck everything' and throw everything he can into ending a fight right that second.

Speed: Mikey is, in my honest opinion (and based off most of the series and movies I've seen), the fastest of the brothers-- bar none. Which means if he tore off at full speed with the intention of skipping a fight entirely and just making Raph chase him, Raph probably would never catch him. Until after he wears down anyway. But if he zipped off and found a good enough hiding spot, then he could probably avoid Raph for a while. In a fight, because of his speed, there's a good chance that Mikey might be able to get in more hits than Raph, but that comes with the risk of getting in close to Raph-- and that can easily work against him in very short order.

Adaptability: Mikey's adaptability is through the roof. Most versions of Mikey, you can throw damn near anything their way and they'll roll with it in such a way that they land on their feet while their brothers are still scrambling for stable footing. There's also the fact that he's a very lateral thinker and able to apply concepts from seemingly unrelated sources to scenarios many others wouldn't even think to combine-- and he does so to his advantage. So yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, given enough room and space to work with (and not panicking), then there's a good chance Mikey's going to catch Raph off guard with something he'd never expect.

Combat Style/Approach: Close range, flighty, dart in-range to hit and then dart back out of range, mind-games and making his opponents angry to the point of getting sloppy seems to be his preferred tactic. He could be the most terrifying to go up against in a fight if he went absolutely stone serious, but 99.9999% of the time he does not want to and would much rather slip in some fun where he can. (If you don't believe me on that last point, consider that in the 2003 series I'm reasonably sure he has the highest body count of all the brothers, in the 2012 series he killed a kraang and wore the dude's skin on his head multiple times, and in Rise ALL of Dr. Delicate Touch and the frothing maniacal rage he has when angry. 'Nuff said.)

Raph

And here we come to the turtle in question himself, Raph. Hamato Raphael, Raphael Splinterson, Raphie-boy, take your pick.

Strengths: Raph is a TANK. Barring '87, this boy in most iterations pretty much makes it his mission in life to be the strongest of him and his brothers. He's also stubborn as hell and WILL NOT give in if he thinks it's important to stand his ground. Which means he can and will hold his ground and dig in long past when his brothers each have to retreat or fold; he can take the hits they can't and come out the other side still kicking. And what's more, if he feels the need to and is able to get up and be mobile, then he WILL hunt you down for as long as it takes and damned near nothing will stop him-- he is that. damned. STUBBORN. Let's be real, that combination is terrifying. Of course, naturally, this brings up questions of just how physically strong he is. I pointed out up in Donnie's section that Donnie is ridiculously strong, but just how strong is Raph? To answer that question, the infamous scene from 2007:

Just how much psi does it take to snap a katana? WELL, it turns out that finding out that information is really difficult (at least when I was nosing around and trying to find out). When I was doing my initial searching I found a video on facebook examining an anime scene (at the time-- back in September-- it was literally the only thing that remotely came close to answering my question that popped up) that claimed it would take at least 20,000 psi. Being that the person who posted that video didn't include any sources for reference, I'd take it with a grain of salt (especially since despite my best efforts I'm having a hard time finding that video again), but still. If-- for the sake of argument-- we assume that the 20,000 psi measurement is accurate for what it would take to snap a katana, that would mean that our boy Raph is capable of exerting that much force with each hand. And not just a brief spike of getting there either. No, for him to be capable of the force in that 2007 scene (again, assuming the number is accurate) then he has to maintain that force for longer than a second or two.

I don't know about you, but that makes this scene just that much more dangerous and intense in my eyes. It's not just that Raph could have killed Leo by stabbing him; it's also the implication that he could have easily torn Leo apart with his bare hands if he wanted to. So yeeeeeaaaahhhh, if Raph is able to get his hands on any of his brothers and is able to hold on, they're probably toast.

Weaknesses: Whoo boy. In most iterations, point blank, his biggest weakness is his temper. If he gets set off too thoroughly or if someone knows how to play it against him, his temper can make him get sloppy and lead to his defeat-- regardless of how ridiculously strong he is. It also means that, unless it's a version of him who has worked his ass off to keep himself in check, there's a good possibility that he might wind up doing things he'll regret when he's angry (and if someone really wants to twist the knife they can play that guilt and self-blame against him). If you go by 2003 and 2012 there's also his bug-phobia which can be played against him. (Even though 2003 Raph covers it with 'KILL IT WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE'.) If you go by Rise, then you DO NOT. EVER. WANT THAT BOY TO BE ALONE. And on a much more brutal note, going back to his stubbornness which is also one of his strengths

...there's a good chance that this boy might try to push himself past the breaking point if he feels it's necessary.

Speed: I've said before that I think Raph is pretty neck-in-neck with Leo when it comes to how fast he is, Mikey has them both beat in the speed department hands down, and Donnie is most likely to be the slowest moving of the four of them. If Leo has to deal with heavy weights while trying to move at speed however, Raph will have him outclassed due to having more practice in that department. For Raph to have a hope of keeping up with Mikey going full tilt in running away, Mikey would have to be carrying enough to weigh him down considerably. And while Donnie might stand a chance in trying to grapple with Raph, Raph having more experience in moving heavy weights at speed would probably mean Donnie would be better off trying to glom onto Raph like an octopus rather than outright grappling. So Raph's not the fastest, but he's not a slouch either.

Adaptability: As much as I love my boy, Raph is a tank, he's bruiser, he's a bulldozer who freely makes use of sharp and pointy things he can use to stab people with. Adaptability-- barring variation between sneaking in and out versus barreling in as loudly as possible to cause mayhem and destruction as a distraction-- is generally not in his wheelhouse. Given time and learning how to play mind games (and I don't doubt that an adult Raph could pick up and use the skill when he needs to) he'd probably become more flexible, but with where he's portrayed to be at in most iterations he hasn't gotten there yet.

Combat style/approach: Close-range, grappler, brawler, TANK. He WILL hold the line, he WILL dig in and hold his ground, he WILL be the wall and PROTECT with everything he has if he has to. He's also not above being outright brutally destructive when he feels it's warranted. And that "when he feels it's warranted" is key.

Details that affect the outcome:

Raph has a protective streak 500 miles wide. A lot of iterations try to be the wall for his family, the last line of defense when needed. He would sooner see himself hurt than anyone he cares about.

And it's not just his brothers, father, April, Casey, anyone-he-considers-family that he's protective of either.

Seriously, if someone pushes the protective button on this boy and his sense of right and wrong kicks in, he WILL get involved.

Raph cares and feels deeply; to him, family is everything.

You

have

NO IDEA

how much

this boy

LOVES

HIS FAMILY

or how much he'd tear himself up if he ever seriously hurt any of them. So the chances of him ever actually going all-out against any of his brothers is slim. (And the few instances in various iterations where he's come close it's seriously screwed him up emotionally every time. Like 2003 and the pipe incident, 2007 and the after effects of his fight with Leo, the implied guilt Rise had after he snapped back to his senses after reuniting with his brothers after he'd been alone, etc.) He might fight with his brothers, he might disagree with them from time to time, but overall he comes off as someone who firmly believes you don't ever deliberately hurt someone you should care about if you can help it. Which is backed up by instances of him panicking in various iterations where his decisions might result in his family's deaths, as well as the fact that he only really turns on any of them (think SAINW) if they cross the line of not being there for each other like he feels they should be. Some iterations might threaten to run off a lot, but he never will without a damned good reason because he loves his family too much to ever want to do that to them.

Final Assessments

Raph vs Leo: If it's in close and is just down to strength-- Raph wins. If Leo has the time he needs to scheme and play Raph the way he needs to-- Leo wins.

Raph vs Donnie: If it's in close-- Raph wins unless Donnie pulls off an imitation of an octopus and gets all of Raph's limbs pinned and holds on for dear life. If Donnie has the distance, time to scheme, and the means to set traps to his heart's content-- plus tranqs, no one wins against tranqs-- Donnie wins.

Raph vs Mikey: If Raph can get his hands on Mikey and keep him in one place-- Raph wins. If Mikey plays Raph like a fiddle with his mind games and stays out of reach-- Mikey wins.

Raph vs the three of them together: Well shit, that'd be a losing proposition under the best circumstances unless the goal was to try to out-stubborn them at something. 10/10 if he had to, Raph would keep dragging himself along even if all three of his brothers were hanging on to him to try to keep him from reaching his goal. (And if Raph hasn't exploited that fact during some wild-as-shit game of theirs, then Casey Jones is the queen of England.)

Raph vs his guilt if he actually seriously hurt them: Instantaneous loss that Raph would probably have a hard time ever forgiving himself for.

So do I think Raph is as good a fighter as his brothers? Yes.

Do I think he's holding back so he doesn't hurt them? Also yes.

Do I think anyone he went up against if he didn't hold back would be thoroughly screwed? Emphatically YES.

-----------------------------

*The site I got the turtle size table in Donnie's section is [here], if anyone wants further details on sea turtles.

#Raphael #Leonardo #Donatello #Michelangelo #TMNT #TMNT 2003 #TMNT 2007 #TMNT 2012 #TMNT 2014/2016 #TMNT & Batman #TMNT IDW #meta #this is SO DAMN LONG

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matan4il · 2 years ago

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Buddie 614 meta

What I find to be the loudest about Eddie’s arc here is that the whole ep is meant to show us everything that can go wrong when people try to live up to others’ expectations, and how much better it is when people are looking in and figuring out what’s right for them, which means they’re performing for and as themselves. That’s the context for Eddie’s date and story. He needs to figure out how to want a romantic relationship again without feeling like it’s a task he’s performing just to please others. That’s the place he gets to at the end of the ep, which is a good place for him to be. ~~

And this is essential to Eddie. Based on how little people talk about it, maybe many in fandom aren’t aware of how 911 implied back in 217 that he only married Shannon because she got pregnant. Eddie said explicitly he didn’t think he was ready to get married at the time, and he brought this up in the context of Shannon and him having Christopher. So I think it’s very meaningful that here, when his aunt wants to set him up, he jumps straight to the (wrong) conclusion that he’s expected to marry Vanessa. He was under this pressure to perform for others before, he knows how disastrous it can turn out, and you know what? Trauma totally triggers this kind of reaction. It tells us where he’s at emotionally, that there are still things he has to deal with. ~~

Speaking of trauma, another symptom of it can be denial, and we do see a bit of it from Eddie during this ep. Remember how he claimed he doesn’t panic back in 501? Right to a doctor’s face while she’s diagnosing him with panic attacks? He did it again in this ep. The thing is that healing isn’t linear. He was advancing with some things, but in 614, faced with his aunt’s ambush, he feels cornered back into a place he’s been in before, a place that left its scars on him, and Eddie regresses. Which is okay! But that’s one step back in order to take two steps forward. Before the ep ends, he will figure out that it’s better not closing himself off completely to the idea of getting into another relationship, even if Tia Pepa’s surprise blind dates are not the way to go about it. ~~

As a side note, I loved Bobby basically trying to trick his subordinates into giving him a review, and poor Buck stepping right into that one. I saw it coming and I almost choked laughing. This show is damn brilliant with comedy, too. We don’t give it enough credit for that! But it's also a moment when I was really proud of Buck. If Eddie's panic caused him to take a step back, we got to see his husband, who grew up so unloved that he needs every bit of approval he can get, being mature and able to point it out when Bobby was over-praising him in his evaluation. And you know what's more? Bobby knew it would go like this. He has seen Buck's growth and he knew his surrogate son would do the right thing and correct this. Bobby's set up wouldn't have worked otherwise. Excuse me while I get emotional over this. ~~

Fitting for an ep where 911 flexed its comical muscles, it was embarrassing how hard I laughed at Buck’s reaction to Eddie’s romantic woes. Remember when Buck heavily implied how hurtful it was to be ghosted by Abby, saying in 502 that he had been in Ana’s position, of being unwanted and led on instead of getting a clean break up? Well, look at how quick Buck was to suggest ghosting as a viable option for Eddie this time! It’s almost like Buck doesn’t even notice that he will offer whatever it takes to keep his husband away from these potential Love Interests, even if it contradicts stuff he has said in the past himself. The way Buck could be so calm making this suggestion, and take the “threat” in stride, because duh, he knows his husband wouldn’t want these LIs intruding on their marriage and family either, and it’s absolutely legit to just ghost this girl if she doesn’t get the memo, was hilarious. And honestly, who can blame Buck? He’s defending his hot man. ;p ~~

Which brings me to my weekly gif set, that I dedicated this time to Buck pointing out on Eddie’s failure to let Ana down easy. I mean, it already IS canon that these two talk about everything, it IS canon that Buck is someone who gets to hear all about Eddie’s romantic woes. But this proves that Eddie doesn’t just fill him in using broad strokes, stuff like just letting Buck know that he indeed broke up with Ana. No, they get down to the finer resolution as well, and Buck gets to hear every detail about how Eddie did it with the delicacy of a bull in a china shop. And clearly, Buck wasn’t about respecting either Ana or Eddie’s pain during that break up, at least not enough to stop Buck from teasing his husband about it. XD It’s so funny how naturally Buck’s staking his claim on his husband even while they’re discussing going on dates. I see you, Buck, and am totally with you! ~~

One last “made me laugh” point. I’m tempted to snicker about Pepa telling Eddie he should be shopping for antiques. I’m queer, so please excuse my dumb queer humor, but ummm. That’s not a very straight suggestion for your nephew, Tia. Or maybe that’s deliberate, maybe it’s implied she is trying to set up Eddie with anyone, girls or guys? After all, she did use gender neutral language during this ep... So we can’t know for sure, but something tells me Pepa just wants Eddie to officially have someone, and if she learns that Buck actually IS her nephew’s other half? (I can’t call either of these morons ‘better half’, sorry) Then she’d be the first one to throw them a party! And I love that, and I love her. Because after all, she’s not just a sassy queen, she’s not just incredibly loving and caring with her nephew, she was also willing to sacrifice her own image in his eyes, she was willing to be seen as herself, and not as what he expects, in order to help remind him that even if his first marriage failed miserably, he can find the courage, move on and re-commit himself to someone else. And soon maybe Eddie will realize and Pepa will find out who is that someone else that Eddie can have a beautiful committed r/s with...

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you so much for reading and for any reblog, like, comment or supportive tag! I really couldn't keep doing these without knowing people want to see them. Also, my eternal gratitude as always to @whosoldherout. I'm always in awe of your giffing!

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boots-with-the-fur-club · 7 months ago

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Another angst prompt, someone stop me from getting random ideas from crazy places.

17. Accident.

@that-0n3-shr00mi3-guy

@daboyau

Raph sits up in a panic. He puts his head in his hands to try to get a grip back on reality. The nightmares have mostly subsided, but every so often he gets one that leaves him unable to sleep for the rest of the night. Whenever this happens, he leaves his bed and goes to make sure the contents of the dream didn’t happen.

First, he goes to Mikey’s train car. Raph opens the door and sees him curled up in his hammock. A blanket is hanging off the side. He picks it up and wraps it around him. Mikey snuggles into it, making Raph smile before he leaves and shuts the door behind him.

Donnie is next. Raph makes doubly sure he’s not passed out somewhere in his lab before checking his room. He’s happily surprised to see him actually there for once. Raph closes the doors once and again and goes to Leo’s train car next.

His heart nearly stops at seeing the doors already open and the bed being empty.

He tears apart the room as if he’d find Leo under Jupiter Jim comics or a basketball. His brother shouldn’t be up about. The injuries he got are still healing. Raph’s brain finally starts working and he races off to check the other parts of their home.

Raph eventually gets to the living room where he sees glowing blue. Ever since that day, the one where he thought he allowed his brother to end his own life, he hasn’t been able to see it the same.

He’s unable to think about anything else when he sees the back of Leo’s arm and body partially sticking out. Raph grabs his wrist and pulls him back. The anxiety and stress he’s feeling gets to him.

“What are you’re doing!? Using portals again when you’re not even supposed to be out of bed!? Did you even think at all before you-!?” Something suddenly slams into his face.

He stumbles back, still not letting go of Leo. Raph uses his other hand to try to wipe it off. There’s….icing on it? Something crumbly….cake?

Raph looks back at Leo and immediately let’s go this time. His brother is trembling, badly. He’s clearly fighting back tears which means that Raph has messed up catastrophically. Leo only ever cries for two reasons, dramatic effect, and when he’s so upset he can’t control it.

Leo drops to his knees, eyes focused on the dropped pieces of food on the ground. The tears start coming. Raph’s heart shatters into a million pieces. Leo looks so fragile. It feels like he popped an orphan’s balloon then kicked his puppy for good measure.

Raph shakes off the rest of the cake on his face and kneels down.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! I can get you another cake! A better cake! You want a blue one? One shaped like a basketball!?” He tries to reach out, only for Leo to flinch.

Raph’s world almost blurts when he realizes what might be going on. He grabbed him and yelled so suddenly, did he….did he think he was kraangified again?

Or maybe he could just never fully trust him again.

He’d always be scared

Raph didn’t mean to be so rough. It was an accident. He was just so scared and worried. He didn’t want to lose Leo again. Maybe he already did in a way, though.

Leo suddenly starts crying a lot harder.

“I-I’m sorry! I just….I just wanted to get you that cake…..it wasn’t for me….!”

Raph frowns deeply. He didn’t know he could feel so bad so very quickly. It’s painful.

“Why….were you getting me cake?”

Leo’s tears drench his gloves as he tries to wipe them with his fists.

“Your birthday was two weeks ago and nobody remembered because you were busy taking care of me! You didn’t even remember! It was your birthday!”

Raph blinks in surprise.

Everything has been so busy for so long he could hardly tell what day of the week it is, let alone the date.

“….Leo, buddy-“

“And now I can’t even get grabbed without it feeling like I’m going to die because I got smashed into a wall! I hurt you! I saw it in your eyes! You think I’m afraid of you when I’m just a coward!”

“Leo, you went through a lot, this isn’t your fault-“

“You only roughhouse with me! It was our thing! You already feel like I’m going to break! And now you’re going to be scared that I hate you! Blame you! When am I going to stop taking things from you!?” He sobs.

Raph takes the absolute most care he can to be as gentle as possible as he pulls Leo into a close hug.

“You don’t. You don’t take anything. You give me so much. You’re here. That’s all I need. I’d trade every birthday, all the wrestling, even my bears to have ya. That’s a promise.”

Leo clings to him and keeps sobbing until he passes out in Raph’s arms. Raph lifts him up, placing his head on his shoulder. He takes him with him back to his room and sits on the bed.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He knows that things wouldn’t magically be better in the morning. He knows that his legs will cramp up and that he won’t be able to move for a long time.

It doesn’t matter.

At all.

Leo’s there.

That’s more than enough.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #2018 tmnt #rise of the tmnt #tw angst #rottmnt angst #rise fanfiction

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soodoonimin · 2 months ago

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I have had this idea for a story rattling around in my brain. I’m thinking a Soulmate AU where the weapon plus program happened much much earlier in history and Wade was born much earlier too:

And Wade gets his healing factor/powers kind of like he did in the comics but instead of him getting it as an adult he gets them as a kid (Logan is also experimented on as a kid during the same time) the two only know about each other bc they’d see each other briefly before every surgery

(The one time they’re able to talk is when they confirm that they are soulmates bc of the name on their wrists but while Wade seems excited about it Logan (James) is ambivalent at best. Wade just thinks he’s scared because of their situation.)

Anyway, Logan escapes but doesn’t save Wade (bc he’s trying to save himself) and it’s bc of this that Wade grows up a prisoner of the weapon plus program & grows to hate Logan

Wade eventually escapes on his own, and the first thing he does is hunt Logan down. He finds him pretty early on and sees that he has a life w/o him and has basically forgotten him (he’s hurt)

Wade starts a fist fight with him at a local bar and it’s only towards the end of the fight that Logan realizes who he is. He stops fighting but he doesn’t know what to say to make Wade feel better. He isn’t going to leave his life behind and he knows he made a mistake he should have saved Wade but…but what? It’s too late for that now.

Wade thinks he wants to avoid him but he can’t help but want to check in on Logan from a distance ofc, even if he’s happy with someone else. One of times he checks in on him, he’s gone. So Wade has to track him down on his own bc not only did they capture Logan, they killed his wife.

At some point Logan got captured by the weapon plus program again and Wade debates if he even should save Logan bc it serves him right

But he ultimately decides to go and save him. And when they fully escape he realizes that they wiped Logan’s memory and not just that but they removed his soul mark. Wade is devastated not just because Logan doesn’t remember him and not just because they’re technically not soulmates anymore but also because Logan doesn’t even remember he had a family that was killed. (He doesn’t know where this selfless thought came from btw)

He decides to stay with Logan who for his part thinks Wade is annoying but doesn’t really know their history and so he kind of lets Wade take care of him even if doesn’t fully trust him

Logan slowly starts to remember and this is when he realizes he might have feelings for Wade (he doesn’t know why though) but he doesn’t know how to tell him bc they’ve been “friends” for so long

Logan does ask about people’s soul marks and he asks why he doesn’t have one (Wade tell him) but he lies to Logan and tells him that his soulmate rejected him a long time ago and he absolutely refuses to let Logan see his mark

“The fuckers in that lab didn’t just ruin your life, peanut. That’s why I’m taking care of you. I know what’s it like to lose yourself and someone you care about.”

One night Logan comes back from chopping wood and something about Wade’s words finally break free that one memory of what they are to each other.

He comes back home:

“I thought you hated me?”

And Wade is replies “No I don’t hate you, what would give you that idea?”

And Logan answers “I don’t know, maybe I didn’t save you. Because I left and tried my best to forget about you until…” He holds up his blank wrist, “Be careful what you wish for right?”

And that’s when Wade knows this is *his* Logan. He doesn’t even hesitate to kiss him and he is SURPRISED that Logan kisses him back

There are still big chunks of Logan’s past that he’s missing and he doesn’t know how much of that he wants back. So he and Logan decided that for now it’s best they think about the present.

Bonus: one could maybe say they’re kind of like soulmates but whether that’s a natural thing or an artificial bond created by the weapon plus program, not even they know but it doesn’t matter.

Let me just finish my cute little dancing one shot (I should have it done by Friday) and I’ll get right on this fic lmao bc I fucking love soulmates and I LOVE tragic soulmates more than that! And who is more tragic than these twooo??? (Okay I lied I know two others who are maybe a little more tragic but you get my point)

#poolverine #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool #logan howlett #wolverine #wade wilson #wade x logan #fic idea #idk if this ship is ready for my soulmate ideas

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aamy2100982 · 2 days ago

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Something I don't like so much about the latest Venom comics is the sudden victimization of the symbiote regarding their decisions in life.

This thing about Symby never wanting to do anything bad and almost putting all the blame on Eddie for the events in which they were Spiderman's villains

This whole "If we didn't do it, Eddie was going to die, It was my responsibility" thing. When we know that in the early comics the symbiote didn't give a shit about Eddie.

I believe you that at first Symby didn't necessarily want to kill Peter. But after that, any chance Spider-Man gave the symbiote to come back to him, Symby was willing to abandon Eddie in the middle of the street, naked and likely to die or try to kill himself again.

Until, of course, they realized that Spiderman didn't give a shit about them and decided that they wouldn't fall for his traps anymore and would stay with Eddie "permanently".

We understand it now, and we think it's beautiful that the symbiote felt a responsibility to help Eddie. But that's the current writers changing the story to make the symbiote look like a white dove and not what it is. An effectively bad and toxic person.

That many times is willing to kill and/or manipulate others in order to obtain a perfect symbiosis. Like when they manipulated Eddie into believing that he had cancer or when they tried to kill the priest of that church because he told Eddie that no one can force you to do things you don't want to do.

And this is not just an attitude they had with Spiderman. But also with Eddie himself.

I understand the whole point of the symbiote's redemption. Realizing that they past actions are wrong and wanting to do better in the future. My problem is how the writers are handling it.

It's not like Eddie's redemption, where he realizes that he as a person is wrong for everything he did. It's more taken from the perspective where Symby almost blames Eddie for his destructive attitudes against Spiderman. When it's evident that the symbiote tends to seriously hurt those who don't follow things the way they wants them to go.

I feel like the way things are put is right... but wrong. I read it and feel like something is off, like it doesn't feel the way it should feel.

Because we get a “I never really wanted to do any of this,” and then we get a “I don’t like fighting Eddie... am I?” Which tells me that the symbiote isn’t really giving up on itself, because it’s doing the same thing it always does. Trying to kill a host and then attaching to it when it gets the chance to come back. What changed then?

What was the point of this whole emo phase where the symbiote sought to end its own life? Did something change, or is Symby just wallowing in self-pity like Eddie did when he was Anti Venom and Venom and any other phase of his life xd

Maybe they are made for each other. I love Symby, but they've been trying to excuse it's past actions for a while now, and I can only watch the symbiote lying in the dirt while waiting for others to tell them "it's not true, you're not bad, you can still change."

And the symbiote pretends to believe it as it goes and repeats its past actions to the letter.

#eddie brock #venom comics #spiderman #venom symbiote #anti venom

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orionsangel86 · 2 years ago

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The Problem With Thessaly

I’m sure plenty of fans would agree with me that there are certain elements of the Sandman comics that are going to be very difficult to adapt for television. I don’t envy the mammoth task Neil and the creative team on the show have ahead of them. But one element in particular which has been on my mind frequently is how they are going to introduce Thessaly to our screens.

It’s not just that she’s a TERF. It’s that she’s a cold, cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate bitch who only ever thinks about herself. Oh yeah, and she’s a huge TERF. There isn’t a single likeable element to her.

And yet.

We are supposed to somehow believe that our main protagonist, idiotic as he may sometimes be, depressed and seriously down on his luck as he is, will fall head over heels in love with her.

Sorry. But it ain’t happening. Something has gotta change. So here are my thoughts on how they could fix the Thessaly Problem.

Under a cut for comic spoilers (and its a bit long)

I kinda get the reason it happens in the comics. Kinda. I can’t remember the exact quote, or where I read it, but Neil explained it as “two people who you know are absolutely not right for each other and no one who knows them can understand why they are together.” He purposely wrote it to be a really weird match that didn’t make sense.

From Dream’s perspective, at this point in the story he has just had some of his biggest romantic disasters slapped in his face (at one point literally) all within a very short space of time for an entity as long lived as him. First Calliope, then Nada, and then Alianora, and he is hurting from all of them. Having to face his romantic failures one after another within the space of a few years AFTER having to go through 70 odd years of relentless suffering trapped in a glass prison has GOT to mess with your head. So I think Thessaly is basically the worst rebound in history. They are only canonically together for a few weeks but he somehow falls head over heels for this plain, dull, horrible person. 100% this is a rebound. He’s messed up. So yeah, I kinda get it.

From Thessaly’s perspective it seems she just really liked the idea of being the object of someones attention and desire even though she never returned his feelings and left him the minute he stopped devoting all his attention to her (god she really is a bitch).

So why don’t I think this will work in the show?

Because the show is a kinder universe than the comic. Dream is different in the show. He is already more thoughtful, warm, compassionate, and has a better self awareness when it comes to his shortcomings. He’s also a far more romantic character in the show, which is probably thanks to Tom Sturridge’s excellent performance and likeability and absolutely maddening sexual chemistry with literally every character he interacts with (his pretty face doesn’t hurt either). You just have to look at his scenes with Calliope to know that they are playing up the romance and kindness there when in the comics Dream is extremely cold to Calliope throughout their very short interactions.

Given the news that the writing team on Game of You will include trans writers specifically to cover the sensitivities of honouring Wanda, I don’t know how they will adapt the transphobia she suffers at Thessaly’s hand, or whether they will include that at all - personally I think they should remove it. Not to make Thessaly more likeable, but because it reinforces a really wrong view of witchcraft and magick that modern witches and pagans are working extremely hard to reject. Not to get too deep into these topics, but transphobia is a fucking plague in those communities and the last thing we need is more people thinking everyone who practices witchcraft is a fucking TERF. The comic even goes so far as to imply the actual MOON is transphobic. Like WTF? The moon isn’t fucking transphobic and “womb magic” is stupid. If I ever have to read the words “divine feminine” in a witchcraft FB group again I’m gonna scream.

Anyway my point is that I don’t think those scenes in the comic are necessary and there are plenty of other ways to adapt that story without resorting to transphobia.

The other issue is that if they do keep it in, they somehow have to deal with the fact that their protagonist is seemingly totally cool with dating a transphobic murderous bitch. Um. Yeah, not cool Dream. I think the show is going to do everything it can to make Dream MORE likeable and based on what we have seen so far I definitely think that’s the route they are taking.

So yeah Dream won’t be falling in love with a TERF in the show, that I am sure of.

The thing is, the best way they can deal with the Thessaly problem is also the simplest - Don’t include her. Just don’t write her into the show. Simples.

Because we already have a character in the show universe who technically doesn’t exist in comic canon, who knows magic and the occult, and who is MUCH more likeable and kind whilst still being a bit messy and selfish and totally a terrible match for Dream... Oh, and who also happens to be played by possibly the most well known actor on the shows main cast list.

Johanna Constantine.

Jenna Coleman is a fairly big name and one of the primary stars for the show. At least Netflix seemed to think so since her face was all over the marketing and she was included in basically every cast interview, even though her character only turns up in 1 and a half episodes. She is also playing a new version of an already well known character in pop culture and I am convinced Netflix is already considering spin off options for her. So there is no way they aren’t going to include her in future episodes of the Sandman.

Except thats where Netflix has a problem if it wants to stick to comic canon. Lady Johanna Constantine only turns up in one more Sandman story, and John Constantine doesn’t show up again at all in the comics.

So my piece of speculation that I’m almost 90% certain will happen, is that they will bring back modern Johanna Constantine in an extended or adapted role based on another character.

My money is on Thessaly. Remove Thessaly, replace her with Johanna.

I’m not just saying this because I think Johanna and Morpheus hooking up will be hot (it will be, don’t deny it. My bisexual ass knows a hot couple when I see them). But because it makes sense.

Yeah okay we have that pesky little rule about the Endless not dating mortals - but that rule currently doesn’t exist in show canon either, so theres no reason why they can’t just also scrap that for the sake of some sexy, messy, and definitely disastrous bi4bi action.

All jokes aside, with only a few tweaks to the story in a Game of You, you could seemlessly fit Johanna into it. She can be in New York for a specific case, hell, maybe Barbie and the sudden appearance of Martin Tenbones on a busy New York street IS the case she’s investigating? She can still find a way to break Hazel and Foxglove into the Dreaming AND when Morpheus shows up they can have another tantalising showdown like they did in episode 3. It works better with Johanna tbh. She actually cares about people, the motivation is there for her to want to save Barbie and protect people from supernatural sources. We can just make the storm and the collapse of the apartment block be caused by George or the cuckoo or something (or not have it happen at all since I am also practically certain that Wanda is NOT going to die in the show).

This ALSO means that much later on, when Lyta is having her breakdown and destroying the Dreaming, having Johanna being the one to protect her from Morpheus rather than Thessaly also adds a more human element to it. Morpheus has never been a killer, but sometimes his duties demand it. He goes to kill Lyta to prevent the Kindly Ones destroying the Dreaming. If it is Johanna blocking him instead of Thessaly, their motives align. Johanna would protect Lyta for the simple fact that she won’t let a supernatural creature harm a human (as much as she can - sorry Kevin), and Morpheus, being hesitant about killing anyway, would be easily talked out of it by Johanna. “Find another way to save the Dreaming, I won’t let you harm her.”

It just adds an emotional weight that isn’t there with Thessaly, who only protects Lyta because she made a deal with the Kindly Ones in exchange for more centuries of life - an ironic request when Morpheus (and Death) are keeping Hob Gadling alive simply so he can be Dream’s BFF.

It just works for me. Scrap the “no mortals” rule and you can have them have the messy disastrous relationship that doesn’t work out. It is far more believable that Johanna Constantine could break Dream’s heart - she’s already a known heartbreaker in the show (sorry Rachel). It’s a doomed love story a modern audience can get behind, makes sense, the actors already have insane sexual chemistry, and it could definitely hit all those story beats needed to get the show to a version of the Kindly Ones whilst also actively improving it.

I may first and foremost be a Dreamling shipper, but talking in terms of canon I very much want Morpheus to have a passionate short-lived heart breaking affair with Johanna. Fuck Thessaly. Keep her relegated to comic canon. Morphanna all the way.

And THAT is how we fix the problem with Thessaly.

#The Sandman #sandman meta #the sandman comics #sandman comic spoilers #dream of the endless #morpheus #Sandman speculation #the sandman netflix #Johanna constantine #thessaly #morphanna #johanna constantine x dream #a game of you #my sandman thoughts #what does everyone else think about this?#do you also want thessaly replaced?#I just don't think there is any way she fits in the show universe #she's too awful #and I don't personally think we should be making terfy characters likeable either

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theromanticrationalist · 9 months ago

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My Thoughts: Young Sheldon 7x02 A Roulette Wheel and a Piano Playing Dog

Look how cute he is! Cute as a button! 😙 Awwww! Baby! It is so difficult for me to watch Sheldon struggling. Imagine being a fish out of water your entire life where your one socially acceptable trait is your intellect, which surpasses everyone’s, only to be thrown into A WHOLE OTHER COUNTRY, taking the fish metaphor to a whole other level, only to discover THE one quiver in your arsenal is utterly moot.

Damn. My poor baby string bean! But he handled it so well. He pushed through! I am proud of my Shelly! It is the aspect of why YS is better than TBBT because they allow for Sheldon to be a more complex individual and don’t treat him like a child, even though he is literally a child. The show allows circumstances to push against him, to make him stronger, and the narrative isn’t constantly belittling him as if he can’t handle life at all. It is actually quite a big deal that Sheldon was able to keep his mouth shut and humbled himself under an authority in order to learn what he needed to. And he did this by HIS choice! He listened to what those around him where telling him, and chose the wiser path. He didn’t have to be coerced, manipulated, or browbeaten into it, which was often the route TBBT took.

Well, his tutor DID use physical reinforcement, but a wrap on the hand is good for the boy. 😁

Which brings me into my next thought, I don’t think this moving back and forth from Texas and Germany is going to work really well for the storytelling. I want to see how the whole Cooper family is doing, of course, but I am primarily watching this show for Sheldon! I don’t feel like they are able to spend the amount of time necessary to really explore this experience he is having. It feels so rushed. I don’t like it. I want more time to process Sheldon’s life lessons here and how he is feeling about it. It is the same old story! This is literally one of the biggest problems with American media.

They. never. give. enough. time. to. the. story. EVER. !!!!!

🤦‍♀️ Why are you the way that you are, American Media. I hate so much everything that you choose to be.

Anyway, I did love the heart to heart chat between Missy and Georgie this episode! That was so sweet! They are learning what it means to have responsibilities and that growing up requires so much thankless sacrifice. I love the bond that Missy and Georgie have, and I am glad we got to see them process this experience together. And way to go Missy for not only stepping up, growing up, and being so mature and on top of things, but she also is learning about boundaries! Damn girl! 🔥 I know Mary Cooper loves serving her family so I love that aspect about her, but the boys definitely shouldn’t leave all the house stuff to the women folk, as if they have to be served and waited on. Missy is killing it! 💪

Missy and Sheldon, two sides of the same coin! I hope to talk more about that later! 😉 Now it’s time for...

My Favorite Sheldon Cooper Quotes: Sheldon: "And they laughed at me for not knowing something they knew! Who does that?!" Mary: ". . . you do." Sheldon: "This is no time for a teachable moment! Your child is hurting." Mary: "Sorry." *pats him on the arm* "There there." Sheldon: "I guess that'll do. Now how about a hot beverage?" Mary: 😑

Sheldon: “Oh! I see the problem! This is stupid! You can’t just invent dimensions. There is this one, this one, and this one.” Mei-Tung: “You forgot the dimension of time.” Sheldon: . . . Sheldon: *holds out his hand* Mei-Tung: *slaps it with a pencil* Sheldon: “Ow! . . . Thank you." Sheldon Prime: "I wanted to give up and runaway. But I had read enough comic books to know that heroes don't quit. Instead of running I decided to stay and face the biggest challenge I've ever had: keeping my mouth shut. This turned out to be a pivotal moment in my life. By being open to people smarter than me, I grew as both a man and a scientist. Humble. Brilliant. I really am the whole package!"

#and the boy's not wrong #sheldon cooper #young sheldon #my thoughts #my sheldon cooper thoughts #I loved the piano playing dog reference #although the dog reference is unfortunate #I hated when TBBT compared him to a dog #but this is more contextually relevant #iain armitage #missy cooper #the cooper family #7x02 #A Roulette Wheel and a Piano Playing Dog #yes I used an office reference in a young sheldon review

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mar64ds · 2 years ago

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trying to be better

(ID: A comic of 6 pages about Papyrus and Flowey from Undertale. In the first panel, Papyrus is looking up with a concerned look on his face. He says 'Flowey, we were worried about you! And now... I'll admit it, it's cool that a human soul let's you be taller, but that's besides the point. You can't really believe this is a good idea. Hurting people that aren't your friends it's still hurting people'. In the next panel, we can see that Papyrus was talking to Flowey, who has acquired a human soul, changing his appearence a little bit. He is bigger now, his petals are pointy and he has a human soul in his left palm. He looks slightly confused and replies 'I care about... you guys or whatever... but who cares about someone I don't know? Besides, they won't even be permanently hurt!'. Papyrus then tells him 'Do you really believe that?' Flowey smiles an evil grin and says 'Heheheh, why is it so hard to believe? Maybe I want to be cruel again! I'm at least good at that! I know how to be awful and terrible, being nice is way too hard. Maybe I should just accept who I am instead of keep disappointing people'. In the next panel he looks up to a save point, like the ones they show up in the game and says 'Besides, I miss all the power, all the fun, all the possibilities! Being a god! Why would I want to give that up?! Heheheh!' Papyrus looks skeptical, he stays quiet for a second looking at Flowey, then says 'I don't believe you. I don't think you miss being like this'. Flowey asks 'What?', confused. Papyrus then explains what he means, 'I think you are scared and you want to go back to something familiar. You think it might be easier to be cruel than to be nice and feel guilty when you make mistakes' Flowey is taken aback by this, he is nervous and looks away from Papyrus. He tries to deny it and says 'That's not-' but is interrupted by Papyrus who says 'But Flowey, this isn't you'. Flowey replies with 'This is me, this is who I really am'. Papyrus tells him 'This could be you, but you can choose not to be. You can be this Flowey or you can be the Flowey that likes spending time with his friends, the Flowey that takes care of other flowers, the Flowey that gets annoyed when he loses in a videogame, the Flowey that apologizes when he makes mistake but tries again the next day' Flowey is quiet after this, he looks at his hands with a sad look on his face. 'Why are you always so nice... Hahah...' he says. We can see that the left hand has the human soul, while the right hand has the red ribbon Papyrus gave him a while ago, he still kept it even in this form. He keeps talking, 'You know, I was really scared of any of you seeing me like this... I thought it was because I was worried you would try to stop me'. Tears fall from his eyes and land on his hands, he sobs and says 'No, it wasn't that, heheh...'. Flowey takes the human soul from his palm with the right hand with the ribbon on it, and returns to his regular form. Flowey looks down and cries quietly while offering the soul to Papyrus, knowing it will be safe with him and he will find a good place for it. Flowey sniffes and says 'Here it is...', Papyrus smiles at him and replies 'Hey it's okay you made the right choice'. Flowey says 'Well, the right choice hurts'. Papyrus then asks 'Where did you get this soul anyway?'. Flowey explains 'I don't know, I just... found it. I saw it the other day, just laying there. And... I don't know' In the next panel, Flowey is holding the soul with an upset look, he continues 'I was upset that day and the idea just came to me. I could just take this soul and no one would notice. I could have my powers back. That sounded fun, even if I felt sick just thinking about it, it sounded fun.' Flowey gives the soul to Papyrus while he keeps talking, 'Maybe if I hurt someone else that aren't my friends, this could work. That's what I told myself. There are so many people in this world now... and besides, I could just reset everything again, so I'm not doing anything bad, right? It still didn't feel right but... at least it was something I knew. Maybe it was the familiarity of cruelty, or the familiarity of hating myself. But it was familiar' Flowey looks upset but is hiding part of his face with his petals, he finishes with 'So for a second, I wanted to go back to something like that. But then you found me and...'. Papyrus looks at him concerned and tries to change the subject to make Flowey less upset, 'We were worried about you, Flowey, you were gone for a couple of days. The others are looking for you too. You can talk to us, just don't run away like that, okay?' Flowey doesn't reply, he seems lost in thought, and suddenly he cries. 'What is wrong with me? Why would I try to do that? I'm so disgusting...' he tells to himself. Papyrus sits down next to him and says 'I'll admit, it wasn't a good idea, but you didn't do it'. Flowey is trying to dry off his tears but he can't stop crying, he says 'Only because of you...'. Papyrus continues, 'But you made the choice. You didn't want to do it deep down'. Flowey isn't convinced, 'But I was going to anyway'. Papyrus tries again, 'But you didn't! You should be proud of that! You...', he sighs and continues, 'I get it, you feel guilty. I'm not saying you should feel okay about this or that you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes guilt is necessary, it helps you realize your mistakes, it helps you grow' Flowey doesn't say anything, he keeps crying quietly, but he seems to be concentrated on what Papyrus is saying. Papyrus continues, 'Flowey, don't run away. Don't make yourself miserable and hide from everyone else, that's not going to help you or me or anyone. But you know what would? Being there, and try being better, no matter how small you might think your acts of kindness are. And if you make mistakes? You learn from them, that's all. That's what would really help' Flowey sighs and stays quiet for a second until he says, 'Okay'. Then he looks at Papyrus with a sad expression, 'Papyrus... I'm really sorry'. Papyrus only smiles at him and says 'I'm proud of your decision, Flowey'. Flowey smiles at him after that and says 'Golly, you always know what to say, huh?' and Papyrus replies with 'I'm a wise skeleton'. / end ID)

#deltaruneundertale #my art #safeutdr

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jitterbugjive · 11 months ago

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So, some people may have noticed this but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to bring attention to it and I wanted people to just assume it was someone theorizing. But it appears someone from my ex friend circle whom I had trusted with certain details of how Discord Whooves would end decided to stoop to a lower than low level and ruin the ending for anyone who stumbled on their posts that had been made on a blog made specifically to post spoilers and tag them with common tags Discord Whooves uses. I’m sure it was out of sheer spite towards me and the people who dared to support my work.

Saying bad things about me and things I’ve done and said, okay that’s justifiable. But going out of their way to take something I once trusted them with because I thought we were close friends, and then throwing it out for the world to see out of revenge against me and anyone following me? That’s just petty, immature, and a really low blow to make. Even if I really hated someone, I would never reveal their harmless secrets to the world just to get back at them. There’s a chance to be the better person, and at least have some code of ethics to know when it’s going too far. I deserved to be called out. I didn’t deserve to have my 12 years of work undermined by a vindictive person who can’t move forward, and my fans didn’t deserve it either because they are not even involved in this drama.

There is a point where revenge goes too far and one crosses over into just being villainously cruel.

It’s sad, and really pathetic that someone thinks they have to do everything in their power to screw me over in some way instead of trying to actually recover and get past the point of obsession over wanting to get back at me all the time.

I’m sorry the whole world isn’t against me like you want it to be. I’m sorry a lot of people believe in recovery and the fact that I feel terrible enough already about my shitty actions in the past and am doing everything in my power to avoid anything like that happening ever again. I’m sorry I’m not being bombarded by hoards of angry people calling me names and telling me to kill myself. I’m sorry my feeling horrible isn’t enough to satiate you and all you want is to see me suffer.

It’s been years now. YEARS. For the sake of your own mental well being, just cut me out of your life completely and stop obsessing over me. You already won. I am constantly in a state of panic thinking of this shit and how else it’s going to come and bite me in the ass. I lost the comic website I depended on, I’ve lost a huge chunk of my readership and no longer really have my ‘popular’ status. (very rarely get fan art, not being bombarded by asks constantly, no longer receive fan mail, original projects aren’t catching on very well) Selling commissions has gotten increasingly more difficult. My insomnia is worse than ever and I have to take heavy duty sedatives just to sleep because my mind won’t stop spiraling about this stuff. I cannot go a single day without feeling guilt, regret, self hatred, and doubt and wishing hopelessly that I just never did those things. I have severe trust issues and have almost no one I can feel comfortable enough sharing anything personal or story related with which was just made even WORSE by these recent actions, and I haven’t been able to form new bonds with anyone in years either.

I know I hurt you badly, I know what I did was incredibly wrong and irresponsible, and I don’t know how it’s affected you over the years but this rage and anger is not good for anyone. I don’t hate you. I just want you to be able to move on and learn to be healthy and happy and no longer stuck thinking about me and how much you hate me and want me to fall. I don’t want to be hurting you by just existing and trying to move on with my own life, and I wish there was something- ANYTHING I could do to bring you peace.

But the only one who can ultimately bring you peace is yourself. So you can keep on trying to claw and bite and drag me down with you, or you could be the better person and try to just move forward and put the past in the past where it belongs.

I’m not mad. I’m just incredibly disappointed. I would have thought you were better than this, but I was wrong. I was wrong to ever even trust you as a friend, and I wish we were never friends to begin with, or even ever met, and I’m sure you feel the same way.

#vent #drama

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camsthisky · 3 months ago

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you wanted tmnt requests? tbh your post earlier about leo always patching mikey up is still spinning in my head like a microwave and if you wrote smth where mikey realizes how bad leo freaked out when he got hurt? and they get a little bonding moment and mikey gets to reassure him

this is written with 2012 turtles in mind, but it’d probably work with 2003 or early idw, too.

——————

“I’m sorry,” Leo says after patrol one night.

Mikey, who had been fiddling with one of his comics while Leo stitches up the cut on his calf, tilts his head back from where he’s sprawled out on his plastron. Leo isn’t looking up, but there’s a twist to his face. Mikey wants to sit up and throw his arms around Leo’s shoulders, just to get rid of that torn expression.

He doesn’t. On top of Leo being in the middle of literally sewing up his leg, Mikey has a feeling that Leo wouldn’t appreciate the touch just yet.

Gotta get through the emotional talk before he can get to the snuggling, Mikey thinks.

So, Mikey hums thoughtfully. He probably won’t get away with dismissing Leo’s apology. Maybe he can make Leo see that his line of logic is kinda skewed? That would work, probably.

“Unless you touched the toaster without permission, not sure what you’re apologizing for, bro,” Mikey says with a smile aimed back at his older brother.

Leo’s eyes flick up and back down, hands never faltering.

“You got hurt,” Leo tells Mikey’s stitches. “It was my fault.”

“Pretty sure it was the footbot’s fault, actually.”

“It was my plan,” Leo insists.

“It was your plan to have a footbot stab me in the leg?” Mikey asks. “I mean, I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to the planning stuff, but I’m pretty sure I’d remember that.”

“I’m the reason you were there in the first place.”

Mikey pauses, taking in his oldest brother’s hunched shoulders.

There’s not a lot of things Mikey doesn’t know about his brothers. He doesn’t always have the best attention span, but Mikey is pretty in tune with the emotions and tensions that run through his home. And Leo’s need to take responsibility for the team is something that Mikey thought he’d clocked.

Maybe this is deeper than he thought, though, because Leo looks genuinely distressed.

“Whoa, dude,” Mikey says before he can think better of it. “You really think that this is your fault.”

Leo’s frown deepens into a scowl. He finishes the last stitch. “I made you bait.”

“Yeah,” Mikey says, blinking in bewilderment. “Okay. So?”

“You got hurt.”

This time, Mikey does sit up, not caring that Leo is going to get on him later about not letting him wrap the stitches.

Predictably, Leo yelps and tries to stop him. “Mikey, wait—”

“Alright, Leo,” Mikey says, making sure he’s channeling his no-nonsense tone. “I’m not the smartest turtle in the sewer, but I’m not dumb enough to think that you hurt me.”

Leo’s eyes sharpen and meet Mikey’s gaze. “You’re not dumb, Mikey.”

“So not what we’re talking about,” Mikey says, rolling his eyes. “Why the heck do you think me getting hurt is your fault?”

Mikey can only watch as Leo sighs, dropping his face into his hands—which, dude, probably not the best idea since he’d literally just been sewing Mikey’s leg back together.

“Mikey, you don’t get it,” Leo says quietly.

“Then make me get it,” Mikey says, fighting to keep his voice even as something angry bubbles just under the surface.

Mikey doesn’t let himself get mad often, but one thing that always seems to set him off is anyone being genuinely mean to his brothers, even themselves. Hearing Leo beating himself up for something that was an accident that could have happened to any one of them isn’t something Mikey is going to stand for.

“This is the third time you’ve gotten hurt this month,” Leo says, his voice hard as he looks up at Mikey again. “The third time I’ve had to patch you up this month. Because I keep putting you in danger. I should be able to come up with a way to keep you out of danger.”

“That’s not fair, and you know it,” Mikey bites out. “You can’t plan for everything. There’s that saying about plans and the enemy, or whatever.”

“I don’t want to be the reason you keep getting hurt,” Leo says.

“Will you listen to me?” Exasperation clings to Mikey’s voice as he scoots towards his older brother. “You’re not responsible for every little scrape I get. I’ve gotten worse while skateboarding.”

Leo’s shoulders droop even further. Mikey wants to fix it. “I don’t like seeing you hurt. You’re my little brother.”

Mikey sighs, white knuckling his anger back into the cavity it tends to live in when he doesn’t want to feel it anymore. He gives into that earlier instinct and throws his arms around Leo’s shoulders, digging his face into the crook of his oldest brother’s neck.

“We’re a team, Lee,” Mikey says quietly. “I don’t like seeing you bros hurt either, but that’s why we have each other’s backs. It’s no one’s fault that it happens, just the nature of being a super rad ninja turtle.”

Leo’s arms slowly come up to wrap around Mikey’s shell. He says nothing, and Mikey’s like half sure he hasn’t quite convinced Leo of anything, but Mikey doesn’t think one talk will change Leo’s mind if this is something he’s been holding onto for a long time.

That’s okay. Mikey’s going to be here to make sure it doesn’t stay that way forever.

#tmnt #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt mikey #tmnt leo #how the heck do i tag turtle prompts #camryn writes #cam answers #prompt

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