#whenever i avoid i do have a genuine problem. but i am always having problems so they're usually not worth staying home over

[doberbutts]

See the thing is that I do really like fantasy and as a result I am so very aware that fantasy as a genre has been white dudes' playground for a very long time. And as a result even entries that I find incredibly engaging in other ways tend to fall desperately flat in terms of racial diversity, and so I am usually happy to snap up whatever I can get.

But.. it is also quite noticeable, these days, when there are no black people present. I have been (slowly) working my way back through Children of Morta which I very much have been enjoying. And, there sure are people of color in the various NPCs that need rescuing. But the family in itself? Is entirely white.

Now I can forgive it a little when it comes to being a family thing if only because as a mixed race individual I am so very much aware that people will not think about the possibility of a mixed race family unless they are forced to or unless they themselves are mixed race. So the mom, dad, and three children plus the grandma and uncle? Yeah sure fine whatever.

But then we're joined by the uncle's estranged son who is a hulking giant. And then we're joined by a "tribal woman" shortly after. And, you know, I understand hesitating to have either of those be people of color due to then falling into some pretty fraught stereotypes... but then my next thought is that you could have avoided fraught stereotypes being your only POC depictions by simply having the family... be people of color.

This is furthered by the devs stating that the Bergsons have a "non-specific ethnicity". That is all well and good. But why does opting out of stating ethnicity always look so... pale? If you mixed every single person in every single country in the entire world all together, the majority of what you would find are various shades of brown, not white. It is really very few countries that your average person is so specifically a peachy color, and those countries have very specific ethnicities as the dominant group.

This is especially true when other characters are not pale skinned- but they are (largely voiceless, as the unseen Narrator voices all of their lines) NPCs that exist only to either sell you things, be saved from oncoming doom and destruction in the form of various brutal monsters, or enemies in their own way especially in the incredibly sandy and Agrabah-ish levels which is its own problem.

Which means there was an active choice to make the playable good guys only family characters white, when the rest of the world is so varied in color, and when there are enemies who are decidedly less so. And saying that they have "no specific ethnicity" does not fly when ethnicity is clearly depicted elsewhere within the story.

I have to be clear that I do really like this game, and that it is a visually stunning masterpiece with a wonderful story, and I'm enjoying the journey.

But it is something that I notice whenever it comes up, game after game after game. At some point, it gets exhausting. This family could be black, and there would genuinely be no difference in any of these characters. So why make the choice for their non-specific ethnicity to still be a white one? Why continue to make white the default?

[numberonekrisfan6453]

Its genuinely so hard to ship Krusie with how the shippers act

+ ranting about some other major problems in this fucking fandom and fandoms in general

No im not talking about Suselle shippers, from my point of view their actually the ok ones. But some Krusie shippers genuinely are so ignorant. Especially with the Cuckelle memes, most people who are also joining in the joke dont even know what a cuck is and the ones who do, are the ones who are spreading it. Its not even only sexualizing Noelle, but also Susie and Kris. And every time I try and enjoy a Suselle video theres some comment saying "Krusie better"/"I dont like suselle", NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK!!

And im a Krusie shipper too, I love their sweet little moments and diving into their relationship. But the fandom has ruined it abit for me because whenever im trying to enjoy a Krusie video, theres just people disrespecting Noelle. Talking about 'cuckelle', saying how Noelle gets in the way of the relationship and also hating on Suselle.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that most of this shit comes from peoples inability to comprehend well written feminine women. And maybe I am thinking into this too much but every fucking time theres a 'ship wars', its always a soft feminine woman getting disrespect or ignored by people who ship a more masculine presenting couple more, i.e. Uraraka, Sakura, Eleven, Amy, Nami, Mikasa, etcetc. And though both Susie and Kris arent males (like how the other examples get hated by because theyre 'in the way' of a mlm ship), its more the fact that people hate femininity and see it as lesser. And this is why alot of people rather masculine ships because thats the only ship they can decipher as "deep", not caring about learning and understanding feminine characters. (Again, not everyone. Just a fair amount to make it a big problem in fandom spaces)

Also the ragebait in the community is getting very high, you cant go in a tiktok video about Kris without someone calling them a he. And the way people are sexualizing minors is just weird. Not only the 'Cuckelle' memes but im also disturbed at 'Cracking ralsei' and 'The Girthening' memes of Berdly. THERES ADULT CHARACTERS, WHY ARE PEOPLE TARGETING MINORS WHO WE LITERALLY GO TO SCHOOL WITH. Yes, teenagers their age can be sexual. But we really shouldnt be publicizing teens in a sexual light because its something still private to them and making people think its ok for anyone on the internet to be sexualizing them.

The way people draw Susie is also somewhat an issue, I do believe they are older teenagers 15-17 years old so theyre obviously more developed, but its still abit distasteful whenever someone draws susie with very obvious sexualized manhwa curves. I know theres some artists who have a hard time drawing different body shapes but you do need to improve on that aspect especially when drawing minors cause then the comments are about "Susie having allat" which is something you need to avoid to stop people from normalizing sexualizing minors. Susie being curvy is fine, but drawing her in skin tight clothes and having an adult like body is very obviously sexualizing

The fandom has become increasingly more toxic, im hoping after the deltarune hype goes down the fake fans will leave but it will definetly remain a issue, especially Kris's pronoun situation and shipping wars.

[cantareincminor]

Fandom Eras in an Ongoing Canon

Something I've been thinking about recently, as I've been writing SxF fic for about one year, is the inherent uncertainty of writing for an ongoing canon as the characters evolve gradually with each new arc Endo creates.

For example, Twilight. We can joke about how the man is taking forever to acknowledge he loves his family, and the slow slow slow burn of Twiyor. But after 100+ chapters, he is indeed different from where he started. Chapter 1, he was willing to return a poor little kid to the orphanage like a defective toy when he realized she might not be a prodigy as he originally thought. He also left her at home alone and literally barricaded the door to keep her there.

Later, he acknowledges the trauma she must have faced as an orphan and becomes hyper-sensitive to little signs like how she arranges the sand table in his office (even if he reads her completely wrong).

By the time exams roll around, he avoids criticizing her for the Tonitrus bolt in math and gives her a genuine smile for her achievement in classical language, appreciating how she worked really hard.

With Yor, when he initially met her, he told himself he would figure out a way to trap her in the marriage if needed for the sake of the mission. Luckily he didn't have to do that, but the fact he remains that he was theoretically willing to. Then every ten to twenty chapters or so, Yor does something to surprise him with her kindness and strength and unconventional understanding of the world, and he grows to trust her and care for her wellbeing, to the point of taking a bullet for her and sparing Yuri.

In another 100 chapters, or by the end of the manga, whenever that will be, how much more will Twilight change?

As fan creators, how will our imagination of these characters change by then? Will we remember how we viewed season 1 Twilight? The fics we wrote and the characterizations we gave him? How about season 1 Yor, who had an obsession with knives and tended to imagine murder as the solution to any problem she couldn't solve immediately?

My main frame of reference is the ATLA fandom and how the characterization of Zuko and the flavor of Zutara fics changed over three seasons. Fics written during season 1 sometimes characterized him as a dark brooding villain with the trope of capturing or threatening Katara, mixed with uncomfortable power dynamics. Fics written during season 2 cast him as more vulnerable and uncertain, imagining how he might join Team Avatar, as we started to see him as the immature teenage dork he was all along. By season 3, immature teenage dork took over much of his fanfic persona as he finally joined the good guys in canon and added a fresh dynamic to the team. Fans wrote lots of friendship and redemption fics, diving into how he reconciled with Katara and won her over as a friend before pursuing her romantically.

I haven't participated in the ATLA fandom for a long time, but I imagine that few writers now will write fics based on season 1 Zuko, at least not with the fan-imagined version of him that was popular back then. Too much has changed about his canon character to make that palatable.

So, I wonder what it'll be like years from now when Twilight and Yor and other characters are notably different. What will it be like to look back on fanfics written in 2022-2025? Will we still enjoy them easily, or will we have to suspend disbelief as they'll feel like AUs with OOC characters?

Part of me feels sad about this, but I suppose this is always the risk of writing for an ongoing canon! At least I am not the only one risking so much of my own time on creating these stories out of love for these characters.

[ashton-sano]

Hi hello there! Really like your works, I was wondering if you can write a Feitan x fem!reader who’s really blood hungry? Like, she’ll drink her own blood if no one wants to give her some type of hungry.

It’d be funny seeing Feitan be questioned for his blood every day. No pressure!

of course, amazing anon ^^

"Take another bite, big enough to chew~"

Now Playing🎼♬ ♪ ♫:

Feitan with a s/o that is blood hungry >:3

A/n: I love the request, lovely. Feel free to ask for more; your brain is very wrinkly, and I appreciate that. However, I am in no way condoning these acts in real life. Mental disorders like this should be addressed properly and not played down by any means. Avoid self-harm, everyone, even if it isn't with s*icide or things of that nature in mind. This is fictional and should be treated as such. I am not promoting anything written below.

With that being said, enjoy this one.

TW: Blood, Violence (kinda), mental disorders, self-harm, mentions of murder and open wounds

-Not sure if you wanted the s/o to be a vampire or not, but for the funnies, let's just say they’re not and are just freakishly into blood n stuff

-Dealing with blood was nearly Feitan's whole job description; capturing, torturing, and killing were what he knew best. Along with the troupe, said routine was his home.

-Meeting you was pure chance; to this day, he's unsure if that was a good thing or not. 

-When he was still wary of you and such, it would confuse him why you always tinged of blood when you bore no open wounds. He wrote it off more times than not since it’d be hypocritical to criticize

You had a problem.

-Well, that's how they’ll put it when asked

-The ‘they’ in question was a lot of people, people who simply didn't understand it

-From a very young age, you had an irregular ‘obsession’ with blood. So much so that you’d go far enough to seek it from others when you grew too light-headed to drain yourself

-You can't remember when it started, only that everyone was convinced you were insane. Any physician, doctor, or medical professional would deem you a masochist and stuff pills down your throat to keep you sedated

-As if you were an animal, freakish. 

-They said it was Hemomania, but you never liked that word. You weren't acting manic, how could it possibly be? You’re of sane mind, even psychiatrists know that. 

-It just felt normal. To drink blood. No trauma to it, no religious nonsense to justify it. You liked doing it, that's not crazy

-If only other people saw it that way

-When you stuck around Feitan, you could always smell blood on him. It was rarely his, but that didn't stop you.

-You tried to avoid drinking off of near strangers, but he was just too delightfully weird. He never questioned your behavior; you liked that. 

-Usually sucking your blood was enough, you liked the taste just fine. You don't make friends often, even less than let you have your way

-When you get agitated or desperate, you might swindle some asshole and take blood that way 

-When you guys end up dating, thats when it becomes clear to him

-Whenever you’d grow tired quickly or eat often, he chalked it up to your quirks. It's when he wakes up from his light slumber to you gnawing the blood from the veins on your wrists that he clocks it

“Hm? What. doing?”

-His tone wasn't accusatory like it usually would be around others. He tried to avoid that with you. On the off chance that he spoke more than a few words at once. 

-You don't flinch under his gaze, only pausing to respond

“Drinking my blood.” 

-It wasn't and will not be the weirdest thing he's heard or seen 

-He doesn't entirely get it; he didn't get many things people did. He was no gauge of what ‘normal’ was supposed to be

-A small part of you worried about his response. You didn't like people who made slight of your ‘problem’

“It good?” 

-He looked curious, genuinely. He tilted his head as if to make sense of it. 

-You simply nod, continuing your ministrations as he stares at you for the next 15 minutes silently

-You licked at the wound when you were finished, scooting back next to him 

-He didnt comment further on it, he saw no point to. He simply pulled you in and shut his eyes once more

-After a few days when he returned from a mission and found himself sitting with you on the couch, he randomly blurts

“That. Why. Always tired?” 

-You nod. 

“Is that weird to you?”

-He blinks. Twice, then three times. His eyes were still a dead black, but not disgusted

“I kill. Blood no big deal.” 

-He meant that. Feitan was no good at comforting, just honesty. It tended to aid you more times than not. You didn't need placation or people looking at you with pity; there wasn't anything wrong with you

-You weren't broken, just odd. 

-The same couldn't be said for Feitan. He was certainly broken; anything less would simply incorrect. He knew that

-He extended his arm to you

“Here. No good. Pass out.” 

-He didn't like how the blood loss would make you weaker, it troubled him in a way he couldn't describe

-He’d never think to tell you what you do is wrong, but he believes it makes more sense to inflict pain on others instead of yourself. Pain barely registered to him; this wouldn't be different. 

-This just enables you; he's a terrible influence. Not that he cares

-Now that he gives the go-ahead, you don't even ask. You simply expose his flesh and nibble. He’ll stop wherever he is and won't move till you stop. 

-For reference, you don't get off on the pain nor inflicting it on anyone else. Blood just has good texture, smooth in a way you like.

-Now, Feitan, he's the real freak. The guy most certainly likes it. The slight tinge when you bite down, how it makes his head swirl for a moment. All of it is oddly intoxicating to him.

-You guys are sillies together, very cute, much wow. ^w^

This feels kinda short, feel free to ask for a part two to this anon, I'm happy to oblige -> Property of ©ashton-sano; Don't post my content on any other platform without credit; much love^^

[cripplecharacters]

Can people with flat/blunted affect mask and if so how common is it for people with the symptom to be able to do that?

Hi!

I'm assuming you mean an autistic person who has a flat affect?

Short answer: yes.

Long answer:

Flat affect is one small part of autism. Tone is often difficult for autistic people to recognize and reproduce. But there are plenty of things that go into masking!

Masking can involve suppressing stims, avoiding talking about special interests, putting focus into body and facial expressions, and many other things too!

Also, masking takes a lot of energy. If your character is more focused on making sure they are sitting still, for example, they may not be focused so much on their tone of voice.

Keep in mind that masking isn't widespread in the autistic community. Many of us, especially higher support needs autistics, cannot mask at all. (Personally I understand masking in theory but am unable to mask myself.)

It's certainly possible to be higher masking and have a flat or "unusual" affect, just consider how else that might affect them.

Mod Rock

Hello!

I mask almost constantly whenever I'm able to. It's a survival mechanism that I haven't been able to break out of. I also have a very flat tone and what's usually referred to as 'resting bitch face'. I'm not very expressive naturally.

When I'm masking, I don't usually mask my tone. The rare times when I do is usually for short interactions at parties/events or during job interviews; both places where it's short term and rather necessary for me (To get the interaction over with at parties and to have a better chance at getting a job at the interview).

Even when I'm masking, my tone and expressions don't always come across as natural or real. They can seem fake or superficial, at least from what I'm told.

If I had to keep it up for longer than those short interactions, it would be very exhausting and, as Rock suggested, I'd have a harder time focusing on other aspects of my mask.

To answer your question: Yes, it is possible for somebody to do that but as for how common it is, that really depends on the person. Not all autistic people have a flat affect and not all of those who do can or will choose to mask it.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

Hello,

I'm medium support needs autistic with flat tone and facial expression. While I can mask some things, I can't mask everything at once.

It's kind of like my brain is a computer, and masking different things is like running different programs. if I try to run too many at once, all of the programs start struggling. I can mask my tone, injecting what I think is an appropriate amount of emotion, but, beyond a few things that come easily to me such as a genuine-looking smile, can't really mask my expression while masking my tone. If I'm masking my expression and trying to follow what I think non-autistics would expect based on what I'm saying, I struggle to mask my tone. If I try to mask both at once, both masks start to slip. Tone and expression are larger programs, so it's harder for other programs to run while those are running. Maybe a small program, like simulating eye contact by looking at someone's forehead, can run at the same time, but trying to run too many little programs while running a big program will lead to the same problem. All of this also takes an enormous amount of energy. So while I can kind of mask, I can't mask everything at once. There are only so many programs I can run before my computer crashes.

If your character is medium support needs, masking perfectly is probably nigh impossible. If they're high support needs, there's absolutely no way they can mask. Masking is a lot harder for M-HSN people, so if your character is medium of high support needs, they probably aren't going to be able to mask at all or, if they can mask, will likely mask imperfectly like me. It'll also take a lot more effort than it would for a character who has no support needs or light support needs, it would exhaust them way quicker. And, again, a lot of medium support needs individuals may struggle severely with masking or won't be able to mask at all. High support needs individuals often, if not always, cannot mask at all.

So if your character is M-HSN, their ability to mask will depend on where they are on that spectrum and what else they're trying to do as they talk.

Mod Aaron

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being in a shared apartment too much?

🏠✨to find this again.

I (27F) have lived in an apartment (2 bed 1 bath) with the same roommate (26F) for 3.5 years. Let’s call her Jane. We’ve always gotten along well and have been (from my perspective, anyway) compatible roommates. For the past year, however, Jane has been increasingly unhappy about me being in our apartment at the same time as her. She’ll either leave the apartment just before or just after I get home, or hole up in her room, or stay out late until she thinks I’ll be asleep, or just be noticeably bummed about me being around.

We’ve talked about it once, and her response was essentially “it’s not you, it’s me”—that she just likes time to have the apartment to herself and putter around, especially after traveling or being out of town. (She will usually avoid me for about five days after coming back from a trip.) She also said that me staying in my room and out of the common areas during certain times is not enough—I need to be out of the apartment entirely. Last summer, we agreed that I would be out of the apartment from 11am-3pm on Sundays so that she has that guaranteed alone time in the apartment in addition to the other times I’m out of the apartment for work or meeting up with friends. She hasn’t told me explicitly, but this seems to not be enough.

Points of note:

- We are both graduate students with fairly flexible schedules. We’re on campus a minimum of 3-4 hours 2 or 3 days a week to teach and are usually on campus additional days for meetings or events—but (technically speaking) our job is to research and write. We’re not typically “at the office” from 9–5.

- I work from home as often as I can. When I’m not on campus to teach or attend an event, I’ll typically just come back home. We don’t get paid much, so I like to be home for meals to avoid buying lunch or paying for a coffee in order to work at a cafe. So, admittedly, I am often at the apartment for most of the day.

- For my part, I don’t mind Jane being in the apartment at the same time as me, and I honestly miss being able to chat with her during our breaks from work or study. So this is not really a mutual dislike.

- Jane is not doing anything nefarious in the apartment while I’m gone (it’s small enough that I would know if she was cooking meth or something lmao). She just genuinely wants to be alone to hang out in the apartment.

- I don’t typically hang out in the common areas for work or play, and I don’t leave my own stuff there. When I’m at home I tend to stay in my room, except when cooking.

- I have made no major life changes during the time she began to dislike having me in the apartment. Whenever I ask her if there’s any particular behavior I could change, she says there isn’t. During this same span of time, however, Jane has been under increased stress due to academic deadlines and some extra jobs, which is probably a contributing factor.

I’m graduating next spring and plan to move to live with my partner in a different city—so the problem is solved in the long term. But I’m curious whether I’m missing some key roommate etiquette.

Is it an asshole move to spend most of my time in a shared apartment?

What are these acronyms?

[theoceanoasis]

Can we get a part ii to Drift and Ratchet trying to court Hot Rod but Perceptor is blocking them/trying to scare them off? I can see Hot Rod being exasperated because he genuinely loves the two and wants to be with them.

He found Hot Rod sobbing in his room and he rushed to see what was wrong.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

He checked him over for injuries while his bitty clung to him.

"Am I ugly?"

"What? No. Who told you that?"

He looked at his bitty in shock and then anger. His engine revved and he promised to kill whoever said that to his little one.

"No one said it to me but it has to be true. I thought Ratchet and Drift liked me but now they're avoiding me."

Hot Rod cried and he gave him a surprised look. Because he didn't think they'd give up so easily. He thought they would have put up more of a fight, instead of letting his bitty go.

He felt justified about pushing them away. It was for the best after all. They gave up on his bitty and weren't willing to fight for him. Which means they clearly didn't deserve him. In Nyon people fight for their potential mates. Even if they have to fight the entire functionalist guard.

If they couldn't fight for his sparkling they were unworthy of his love and he hoped Hot Rod could find someone better now that they were gone.

Even as he said that Hot Rods cries made him feel guilty for pushing them away. His bitty obviously loved them and was hurting right now.

He held him hoping that he'd be able to move on in time and realize that he could do so much better.

Hot Rod cried himself to sleep in his arms and he laid him in bed making sure he was comfortable. He then left his room and went to grab his favorite snacks and movie.

Along the way he stopped by Drift and Ratchets room. When the two of them saw him they immediately frowned.

"I hope you're happy."

"We did what you wanted and have stopped courting Hot Rod."

"I'm very happy because now Hot Rod can find someone better."

"What's your problem with us?"

Ratchet snapped clearly annoyed.

"You don't know Hot Rod. You act like you do but you don't. I see the way you two are with each other and I know my sparkling will only end up hurt. You two will always love each other more than Hot Rod."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is. Hot Rod will always feel like a third wheel. Whenever it comes to important matters or arguments it will always be you two against him."

"We can change."

He shook his head.

"The biggest reason I didn't think you two were worthy of my sparkling is because you gave up."

"You told us to leave him alone."

"You shouldn't have listened! In Nyon mates protect each other. They fight for each other and it doesn't matter who's in their way they will always fight for their mate but not you two. He deserves better and you two know it. Which is why I think you really stepped down because deep down you knew that Roddy could do so much better and you two were only holding him back."

He walked away leaving the two of them speechless as he went to pick up the snacks and a movie. When he got back Hot Rod was still curled up in a little ball asleep and he rubbed his back.

"Soon you'll get over them and then I'll help you find the perfect mate."

[wisteriaiswriting]

https://www.tumblr.com/wisteriaiswriting/778506679921868800/hey-id-like-a-match-up-to-a-crk-character-please?source=share

Oh ok well too shy to show my name but I'll describe myself the best that I can...and the rarity I want is epics because 90% of my crushes are epics!

I am a 5 foot 2 inch woman with wavy and curly dirty blonde hair...which looks brown with a slight gold highlight I believe, I'm on the chubby side with blue eyes and speaking of eyes, my right eye is a lazy eye and my left eye is my dominant eye. I am also autistic...aspergers to be precise! I an a bit of a anomaly because despite liking to socialize and stuff, I often find myself preferring to stay home and watch YouTube and browse tumblr or talk to online friends...I really love spending times with people I love and just so happens that most of them are online which might be a reason. But put me in a social situation and I randomly go between social butterfly and just going silent because of being scared about saying something stupid or just not knowing what to say. This often gives the impression that I'm mad at someone despite it not being true.

I prefer activities that are very engaging such as preferring to backseat game with a friend rather than actually play a video game and being their little helpful second pair of eyes! I really like interactable things over stuff like books unless its comic books or history books about history im intrested in...I have a book irl telling me about the different types of faries over time and all over the world and a book talking about unicorns and their nature. I also love playing dnd and love fantasy creatures like dragons and unicorns and faries. Speaking of loving creatures, I also love animals...I like cats and dogs and find myself always wanting to pet them if said animal would let me. Ngl would do the same for fantasy creatures...if they let me pet em or approach me asking for scratches, I'm giving them scratches!

Despite being quite the chatty one...one reason is that I don't trust my own words. I'm always scared of not properly wording what I'm trying to explain so I end up doing it multiple times and sound a little like a broken record. Sometimes I might feel like I need thr other person to say how they understood it in order to feel sure I got my point across. If it's not hinted at earlier, I also have anxiety and tend to overthink stuff...and if I do something wrong, I end up getting really upset and possibly angry at myself and sometimes believe I'm stupid despite the fact my mom, dad, and actually a lot of people telling me I'm very smart (...ok i think with how I also mentally insult myself and how my mind likes to bring up mistakes of the past and i find myself always underselling myself as people say...i may have depression but its always on the inside and randomly attacks in waves or whenever i make a mistake...not gonna deal with that can of worms...also tend to avoid the mental problems about myself). Also when faced with a problem...yes I get emotional at first but I then start trying to think of a solution...finding myself thinking logically as best as I could with the information I have and offering ideas for solutions and trying to think of as many as I can.

Speaking of thinking, I admit my brain doesn't always match my body. I could be very mentally excited about something while body is just lagging so sometimes my excitement doesn't come out and other times it's bursting at the seems! Sometimes even I don't understand myself. Sometimes I genuinely don't know what's going on with my mind or body. I also tend to lag in my head sometimes and feel like my head is full of stuffing...freezing up. Pretty sure this is part of autism...speaking of that:

I also stim by making little noises or flapping my arms or feel that random burst of energy to get up and move my legs! Most of the time, the leg thing is short burst! Also tend to freeze up randomly, deep in thought but then later forget what I was thinking about...also have both really good and really bad memory...able to remember some things really well but other things I end up not remembering very well. Also, sometimes my brain just doesn't feel like processing what people say so they might need to repeat themselves or my brain randomly decides to not understand something so they'll need to explain it, possibly in simpler terms. Actually, a lot of times when my brain does that...like, another example I'd read something and not understand what it means and either the person has to explain it to me or I suddenly understand it like a while later. Also wording of things tend to do that sometimes too.

Also have a fear of being judged since brother used to make fun of me for liking stuff like mlp for example so sometimes I find myself wanting to info dump about stuff I like because of autism braincell but other times I find myself unwilling to share due to fear of being made fun of for it or them thinking its weird...so wild card with that unless they pry and are engaging. Always over think teasing so if they are teasing type they might need to tell me they are just teasing and follow that up with a hug or something playful to get us both laughing. Also jokes like to fly over my head so they might need to explain joke and guide me lmao. Also try to be as descriptive as possible when talking about something. Also sometimes when something bad happens...I wonder if it's my fault, if I did something wrong. Like the first person I start to blame is me...'was I not clear enough in my words? Did I accidently do blah to cause blah?' And so on.

I randomly switch between having low energy and high energy! Both physically and mentally! One minute I find myself bursting with energy and moving around but next I find myself chilling in my chair in my room and able to sit for hours. Just lazing around. As for mental energy, sometimes I'd find myself daydreaming all these stories and adventures I'd have with characters I love (this is the one thing I wouldn't share though unless I feel safe enough around them and they show intrest) and can be able to info dump and talk about stuff I like ans ramble for a long time but other times I just don't know what to talk about so I'm silent....other times my mind silently wanders.

Also tend to, if I get too overwhelmed/overstimulated, I start to feel all stuffy in the head and freeze up...unable to think clearly and my first thought, depending on the situation, is either to escape or try to fix it...also I don't have a fight or flight response, it's a flight or freeze response. The thing that makes me feel overwhelmed the most is loud noises so I end up needing earplugs in loud areas. Also my train of thought is easily interrupted so might have to be guided back to the original rails...I tend to get distracted easily.

Also I am not the best at taking care of myself...I do tend to forget to eat sometimes because of being distracted with fun activities, daydreaming, listening to music, and so on...I also find myself not doing chores because I end up not having the energy for it or just forgetting to do it but do randomly get the urge to do something productive so I end up doing a productive thing or two then going back to whatever I was doing before. Also sometimes things fly over my head and have moments where I think I fully heard something but half a second later, I ask em to repeat it and/or explain it.

But despite certain things I said above...the low energy and stuff...I LOVE being helpful and love being part of something, even to the point of being too helpful. Only asking for help when I really need it and/or I'm feeling really unsure and always triple checking myself and even asking the person I'm helping if I'm doing it right to make sure I'm doing it in a good way unless im feeling absolutely certain im helping in the right way. Also praise gives me a massive confidence boost! Also sometimes being overly helpful does lead to mistakes...and sometimes instinctively try to help which can also lead to mistakes and I'd instantly apologies. Speaking of apologies I tend to over apologize a lot. Even made a joke a few times with my dad where he'd tell me I already apologized enough so I'd say 'ok, I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry' or something along those lines and then I can't help but laugh after.

I never been in a relationship before but I have had daydreams about having a cookie partner and I know...I love kisses, cuddles and being tickled. I wouldn't be able to get enough of em! I'd be their personal teddy bear. I may not always know what to say when they are sad or stuff like that but I can be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent and let it all out to and someone to hold...or someone to take their day out on by letting them tickle the hell out of me. I'd also adore being held but if they feel like they want space, I'm fine with that and try my best to stay away despite sometimes wanting to show them a funny meme or joke I find online or something because of wanting to try to cheer em up...wishing I could help but feeling powerless to do so. most of the time if they need space...id just go to my room and watch youtube and try to do my own thing until they come to me.

I...don't like feeling powerless or helpless or useless...despite my mind sometimes making me helpless with sometimes, randomly, not knowing what to do in some situations. Partner might need to explain or, more likely, write in a small notebook what to do in certain situations if they need me to know anything important about them.

Also forget to mention earlier...when overwhelmed and stuff...let's just say I learned over time through daydreams and a common theme in daydreams id see...physical pressure like hugs help, especially if I can hug back...I love being touched by people I care about a lot...always a big fan of hugging my friends unless they don't like hugs but I'm also cool with fist bumps...most of my irl friends aren't a big fan of hugs so ye.

Also I tend to have have trouble well...reaching out. Because sometimes I get distracted and forget to reach out first over the phone so a lot of the time they'd have to be the first to reach out a bunch of the time but at the same time I also find myself having spurs where I'm the one reaching out a lot...possibly too much...also if I think they are upset with me or think I accidently said something wrong or something...as soon as anxiety over msg I sent or what I said kicks in, I try to bring something like a random video I wanted to show them or something positive right after. Also constantly scared of accidently hurting anyone...so randomly switch between being timid and being the equivalent of an energetic child!

Also as I said before...love engaging activities despite not being the very...active type! Like love things that really engage you and are interactive or grab attention! Also love games and would love to play games with partner and love to, when I have energy for it and we are out, follow em around like a little shadow! Heck, they could be a homebody and I'd love to laze around with em! If they prefer to go out and adventure or go battle, I'm the one coming along to help carry the supplies...

Also get jumpy around bugs...terrified of wasps, bees, mosquitos, spiders, and scorpions! If I see em, I'm gonna BOLT so partner may need to hold me if they don't want me to suddenly take off running! Also speaking of fears...I tend to get spooked easily! Sudden loud noise? Spooked! Someone knocking on my door while I'm randomly browsing my phone and I know someone is in the house with me so I should have seen it coming? Spooked! Can be very jumpy...also a strong believer of 'better safe than sorry' so always overly cautious and always triple check stuff and always bring extra as a 'just in case'...

I hope this is descriptive enough for you...if it's too much I'm sorry.

I match you with...

Mozzarella Cookie!

Even if your brain doesn’t always match with your body she somehow always knows what you mean, even if you don’t yourself. She’ll sit there while you either try to speak or show what you want and try guess, as if playing a form of charades. Unless you prefer she doesn’t then she’ll stop, but she finds it fun.

Does not mind your stimming at all, sometimes she’ll mimic some of the noises you make. While her memory also isn’t the best, she tries her best to help you out whenever you forget something, similar to above; Calling out different topics hoping that one is right. This also leads into the explaining habit, she’s more than willing to keep explaining until you get it.

She’s probably one of the least judgemental cookies, so anything you say to her are safe until the end of time. When you info dump to her there's a high chance you can get her into the fandom alongside yourself.

Definitely one of the cuddlest cookies around, seeing as she is quite lazy she has no issues lazing around all day with you. She also has the habit of just leaning on you, which leads to her constantly pressing lazy and quick kisses on your cheek. Doesn’t go out of her way to tickle you much, she does do it occasionally out of nowhere.

She is such a sucker for hugs, loves leaning on you while wrapping her arms around you. Has little shame when it comes to physical contact and pda, so if you’re okay with her almost constantly having a hand on you or leaning on you.

She is a little slow to pick up on your habit when upset, but she’ll pick it up eventually. This causes her to call you, making sure you understand that she’s not actually upset.

Mozzarella Cookie 6

Silverbell Cookie 6

Wedding Cake Cookie 6

Black Forest Cookie 5

Eclair Cookie 5

Peach Blossom Cookie 5

Latte Cookie 4

Financier Cookie 2

Frilled Jellyfish Cookie 2

Pastry Cookie 2

Cream Unicorn Cookie 1

Fig Cookie 1

Lilac Cookie 1

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 25

snarky friend anon (new), waxing anon (new), commitment anon, shy anon, confuddled anon

snarky friend anon

hi cas!

i have this friend who i don’t really know what to do with?

whenever i mention fanfic or tumblr or anything like that at all he gets really snarky and passive aggressive and it just doesn’t feel great

i know that he just sort of feels like i’ve moved on without him, because we used to have a lot of the same interests and now my interests have shifted and his haven’t

i can 100% understand how it would suck from his perspective, but it seems like i’m always walking on eggshells around him, trying to avoid certain topics

and even if i do it seems like he makes it about them anyway?

i’ve tried asking him to ask his parents for therapy (his family is very well off and he says his parents wouldn’t have a problem with it) but he doesn’t want to have that conversation, but i don’t really know what to do

his mental health is kind of shit and he worries a lot about losing friends but also he’s kind of been treating a lot of people kind of shitty (he’s a really good person, i’ve been friends with him for like 5 years) and just taking his anger out on them

if i mention anything like this to him he just spins it into a “sorry i’m a horrible friend” this and im really at my wits end

he’s not happy, and him taking it out on me isn’t making me happy either

anyway i have no idea what to do :)

Hi!

I'm so sorry, this sounds so frustrating.

Honestly though, the only thing you can do is tell him how you feel. If you've told him that you feel like he's being unfair and he just gets angry, then there's really nothing you can do.

The thing is...yeah, he might end up blaming the change in your friendship on you, but the reality is, the cause isn't your new interest in fanfic. Regardless of that, you're still trying to communicate. HE is the one shutting you out. And if he chooses to do that, he's going to lose you. You can't keep pushing a friendship that hurts you just to help him not get hurt. That's not fair to you.

____________

Waxing anon

honestly, hon, I'm not sure if hiding it is best. this might be the push you need to ask for some help, you know? I know it's so scary to admit that you need help like this but you deserve to feel happy and to not want to do these things. so yeah...I don't know if telling you how to hide it is the best idea.

__________

commitment anon

Hey Cas. Commitment anon again.

So, for context, D knows that K does not like him now, and we've had a pretty big fallout. They aren't friends anymore, but I still am with both. It's kind of confusing and hard to just try and not take a side of one story, especially when I know there is one extremely different interpretation from the other. It feels like I'm ripping myself apart trying to balance both of my friendships and my maybe-still-there crush on K.

I text with D and talk at school with K, usually. D. Knows about my crush now, and he's kind of neutral with it, but I know he feels betrayed.

D and I still talk almost everyday though. We've talked about the fallout and K a lot of the time. I usually comfort him when he has panic attacks and breakdowns, but the thing is whenever I do that it feels like a chore and I know it shouldn't. I don't even feel any sympathy or compassion or empathy. Or any emotion at all. Nothing is there and I think nothing really has been.

I've always known that I don't really feel many emotions like that, but I've thought about it and I don't think they're there at all. Like, I realized that whenever something bad happens, but emotions don't really change. The sorry's aren't really genuine, it's just. Courtesy I think. I don't feel sorry, but I don't feel selfish, or anything. It's just blankness.

I know that's wrong, too. I should feel at least a little, but I don't. I don't feel bad when I say something rude, or when someone dies, or when someone is crying. It's just fake apologies and comfort. I think I'm broken. Or something like that.

I don't even know what to do anymore and I can't tell my friends because they won't understand, they'd just get mad that I've comforted them without really feeling sorry. They'd hate me if they knew and I don't want them to.

Hi <3

I don't think you're broken and I don't think your friends would hate you. Honestly, there's a lot of reasons why someone might (not) feel like this, but it does make me think that maybe you need to talk to an adult about it. NOT because you're broken, but because sometimes when people feel like this, it could be because of something that happened in the past. I think you deserve to understand your emotions, and to do that, you might need to talk to a therapist or someone similar, you know? Are you able to do that?

__________

Shy anon

Hi cas just checking in

how're u doing?

How do you deal with blatant or underhand sexism coming from an adult in your life who you are currently unable to escape from.

XOXO

Shy anon

I think it depends. If they're someone who you rely on for something life-saving (food, shelter, etc) then unfortunately, I wouldn't push too much. Instead, focus on the future, and readying yourself for a time when you don't have to rely on them anymore.

If they're NOT someone you rely on, I'd ask questions. Like if they say women belong in the kitchen, be like "Oh, so men aren't capable of cooking?" You know, get them thinking about how stupid their ideas are.

Also congrats on your AP test!

___

Confuddled anon

Hey its confuddled anon!!

I have an update.

Drum roll please!

He.... got arrested today! That's right folks, he is about to be a felon with a count of breaking and entering ✌️💅💋🎀✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

So yah, absolutely not confuddled anymore, very much clear that I have zero romantic feelings for him. But seriously, what kind of idiot do you have to be to break into someone's house and just hang out there??

It's also really funny because while he was getting arrested I was picking up trash off the side of the road, we were literally being complete opposites.

So... yah! I'll keep you updated about what happens with that :))))

With complete clarity and disgust,

-confuddled anon :)))

Well. That clears that up. Glad you figured it out, lol! At least you know that whoever you date in the future HAS to be better than that! (I certainly hope)

[hrodvitnon]

Regarding that one ask, I heavily disagree with it and I dare say that person is completely wrong about Godzilla's intentions. Based on what these pages from Godzilla Dominion shows, as a well as Mike Dougherty's own tweet regarding this fic, it's nowhere near as one-sided as some people think it is, and as you can see, Godzilla himself remembers Serizawa's sacrifice as well as the time he lived alongside humans, seeing as his definition of home is a place where he lived with humans that loved and worshipped him.

But wait, there's more! Before certain people come out and say that those aspects have been "retconned", Godzilla is shown to be sleeping peacefully at the Roman Colosseum in GxK, and in the novelization, it flat out says that he sleeps there because misses his old temple at KOTM and that he might still have a soft spot for people. Not to mention in GxK in general, Godzilla clearly has a connection with the Hollow Earth Iwi tribe. Who are, you know, humans.

Also Monarch: Legacy of Monsters further reaffirms that Godzilla is ultimately a benevolent being who's just doing his job keeping titans and humans from harming each other.

If people can accept the idea of a giant apes being benevolent protectors with zero strings attached, then there should be no problems accepting that the giant lizard is exactly like that too, especially because there's been no real evidence to say otherwise (and again, like the examples I've shown and mentioned, they actually further prove that Godzilla is indeed a benevolent protector and that Serizawa / Monarch, as well as other people who similarly trust in him like Shaw, is right to trust in him). And if people say that it can't be the case because "rEpTiLeS cAn'T fEeL fEeLiNgS jUsT LiKe MaMmAlS cAn", well then I am sorry to say, but Mothra disproves that just by existing.

Because hey, if you make a false equivalent between these fictional giant monsters and real life animals they took inspiration from, then by that same logic, Mothra should be an emotionless thing that acts only based on instincts and self-preservation because she's a giant insect. But she doesn't, and she's a genuine protector who also goes out of her way to avoid killing (even sparing those who attack her whenever she can) and in GxK, she even goes out of her way to save humans. Not even Kong did that in the movie btw, and if anything, the movie shows that Kong accidentally kills some humans in Egypt.

But yeah. It's really exhausting how these people just keeps reducing Godzilla's more nuanced character traits. Especially since Godzilla has always been a sympathetic character going as far back as the original 1954 movie (though Heisei era is the best example of that), but for some reason, these people now suddenly have a problem with that just because Godzilla shares screentime with Kong. And in these people's logic, Kong is Good because he's mammal and therefore relatable, while Godzilla is BAD because he's reptile and therefore "not relatable".

If people in real life can compare their pet lizards to dogs and treat them with as much love as they would a dog, we can have Good Guy Godzilla (who is still a big ol' grump willing to put down repeat offenders like Scylla while being nostalgic for humans and being anxious without Mothra's presence). It's okay. We can have a Godzilla who maintains the worldly balance while still being a proud warrior beast who enjoys fighting and when he's not fighting he can even feel lonesome in some way, these are not mutually exclusive.

[wardencallings]

Okay. Let me preface this with I am enjoying this game. I like the story, pacing, and companions a lot. I enjoy the combat and the structure of the quests (mostly). But. Ugh.

Spoilers for Harding's romance under the cut (and note: I haven't finished the final fight yet):

This romance started so fucking promising. I LOVED the cute flirting at the start, the slightly awkward and nervous dynamic, and the lyrium kiss might be the cutest cut scene I have ever seen in my life. But why, if you're presenting an arc about two characters unable to touch each other, is there no on-screen yearning? Why do you leave how these characters handle this very specific problem off-screen, relegating it to an off-the-cuff banter between Emmrich and Harding? Why do I not see another kiss or point of contact between my character and Harding's beyond the final scene before she's made Hero of the Veilguard?

The romance is so front-heavy that the last part of the game makes it seem like we aren't all that in love, nor really all that close. I think what's extra frustrating is that my fiance is playing alongside me, and so I get to hear the cute banter between Harding and Taash while my Rook gets very little attention from her at this point in the game. Even the pre-final fight scene was lacking. Why can't I comfort Harding more thoroughly about her fear of one of us dying? Why, as a dwarf, can I not reassure her that I'll always be with her in some way because of our mutual connection to the stone? (Also, why, as a dwarf, do I seemingly have no resistance to Harding's lyrium while Taash can tank it fine? Hello?) That scene ends with a "Let's just focus on us tonight" sort of line, but I want to know more! What do we do? What can we do? I get leaving it up to the audience's imagination, but with so little context as to what Rook and Harding are up to in their relationship at this stage of the game, I would prefer something more concrete.

This romance would be almost completely perfect to me with the addition of one scene where Rook and Harding touch after weeks, or perhaps months, of yearning. I'm not even picky about how the scene would manifest (a goofy montage of them trying different ways to touch each other without triggering the lyrium, Rook peppering kisses on Harding's freckles to avoid long-term contact, Harding surprising Rook with her control over the magic leading to a longer, more passionate kiss, etc). As my Rook is trans, I really appreciated the line where I could tell her that Rook would love her for who she is no matter what, but give me MORE. Since Harding's romance is seemingly the shortest, there absolutely was room for one extra scene, if not more.

Also, I hate that Rook can't kiss her whenever he wants. My Rook is built different. He'll take the lyrium disorientation for even a second of contact with her. As I think many others would agree -- especially because of how charming the lyrium poisoning kiss scene is! It was right there!

All in all, I'm pretty disappointed with the lack of romance dialogue options and the sheer lack of Harding romance content after around the halfway point of the game. I still really am enjoying Veilguard, but I think it's a bummer we get more information about Taash and Harding's late-game dynamic than Rook and Harding's. I hate that it's making me resent Taash and Harding's relationship because I genuinely love Taash so much and think they're an excellent partner for an unromanced Harding! I hope the Taash romance doesn't suffer from this problem, for all you Taash lovers out there.

The silver lining: the romance is ripe for fanfic and fanart. I already have one commission on the way, and once I finish my school stuff for the week, I want to write a continuation of the pre-final fight scene for sure. And a Harding/Rook camping scene, perhaps! I also think I might be a little blinded by the initial disappointment, and once my vision clears a bit, I'll be able to appreciate it more.

[thelonelyshore-if]

this is exclusively a personal problem but as a 1. paranoid 2. completionist i always have the vague sense that im going to lock myself out of future content somehow if i dont ask every single question every single time even on replays. i dont know why i feel this way or where i got it from but its just how it is i guess. so sometimes i am going through out of duty as opposed to genuine interest/curiosity but such is life, no complaints i truly do this to myself

I'm sure you're not alone though!! Thank you for sharing because this is also definitely an aspect I need to consider.

Especially because I do sometimes include info in the choices that the player won't find out until later. Never miss completely, since I don't think vital information should be locked behind optional questions, but sometimes there are things learned sooner than they might be otherwise.

I feel like there's definitely a balance to be achieved, because I'd also like to avoid players feeling like they have to pick everything whenever possible!

[quibbs126]

Hi, I’m sorry if this isn’t any help, but do you know why you’re avoiding the real world so much? Berating yourself won’t help. If you wanna solve a problem u gotta find the root cause and take steps from that cause.

Well if I had to take a guess

Real world issues, or at least the ones I consider significant, always stress me out greatly, and I feel like I have an avoidant take when it comes to things that stress me out; namely, that I try to avoid them until they go away. Unfortunately, that’s a lot of things when it comes to the real world. Doesn’t help I’m a raging procrastinator

Unfortunately this can happen the other way around and I can miss opportunities because I simply choose not to act on something. And I recognize that waiting around probably makes situations worse, but for me, that’s just how I do thing, and I think the problem will just solve itself, so I should just ignore it

And not to mention, I basically know nothing about the real world, and how I’m supposed to interact with it. I’m 20, but I don’t feel like an adult, I think that’s still to come later after I’m done with school; I still have the mind of a teenager, if not younger. I don’t even have much of a concept of money. Talk about anything in the 1000s or higher and you’ve lost me on the specifics of how expensive that is, other than it’s expensive; $10,000 and $100,000 mean the same thing to me, other than $100,000 being ten times more. I don’t understand taxes or salaries or mortgages. I don’t understand what’s a good salary or not, so long as it’s money. I don’t understand how you’re supposed to interact with other people. I don’t even know what size pants I wear, because I don’t buy my clothes, my parents do. They take care of pretty much everything, and thus I don’t know much of anything, that’s adult stuff

And I’m well aware that I don’t know anything, and I know that you shouldn’t try and deal with areas you’re unfamiliar with, so I don’t bother with all of that, especially not without consulting my parents. I wouldn’t even make appointments for things about school without asking them when’s best or telling them that I’m doing so

I don’t want to be so reliant on them, but the reality is that I am, and that’s not gonna change anytime soon, especially not if I end up taking online schooling and I have to live with them full time again. I like my freedom to go outside for a random walk whenever, and to eat what I want and buy what I want, even if 90% of those expenditures is just food

I’m well aware that I’m incredibly sheltered. One time in college I had someone genuinely think that I was homeschooled, when in reality I’ve been publicly schooled all my life, and I went to pre-school for years before that. But I have so little an understanding of the world and the people in it that I don’t blame her for thinking that

Not to mention, I just don’t understand real consequences. They aren’t a thing in my mind. My family’s never really had to struggle, at least not to a point I’m aware, and I’ve never been punished that bad. I think my worst ever punishment is getting yelled at, and have my video games taken away until a certain point or until I do the thing I got yelled at for not doing. And so in my mind’s eye, that’s the worst that can happen, that I get reprimanded for my own actions/inaction and life continues. I mean, part of that is because I’ve never done something that bad, but still. I don’t have a concept of the consequences of failing college or not getting a degree. My parents do, since neither of them went to college, hence why they want me to, but I don’t. I don’t understand what it’s like to be poor or homeless, or how bad a minimum wage job is or not being able to pay bills. I’ve never experienced them or anything remotely similar, so I just don’t understand that these concepts exist. It’s like a video game to me, the stakes aren’t really there. And that’s not to say I want those things to happen to me, far from it, but in my head they’re more like fictional concepts. So I don’t see much point to them. I know they’re important, but only because someone tells me they are

The real world leaves me scared and stressed, and I don’t know the first thing about it. I don’t know what’s reliable information about it and what isn’t, because people will lie or just not know. And because I don’t want to make a fool of myself and I just end up getting stressed out, I avoid it and instead turn to shows, video games, drawing and fandoms

In a video game, they don’t expect you to know everything right out of the gate, and they’ll tell you. There’s no consequences to asking questions to things you don’t understand, and they’re usually not too difficult of concepts to understand in the first place. And games usually are pretty good at telling you what you need to do and giving you the knowledge to do so, I don’t have to do a lot of guesswork as to what I’m supposed to do or how to approach a situation, and if I do, then that’s usually a consequence of bad game design. And you have to rely on your own knowledge to progress, and I feel accomplishment when I do something right, and the game rewards me in some way too

And drawing is the only real world skill I have, and I’m proud of myself when it turns out good. It’s an actual skill I’ve cultivated myself and continue to cultivate, even if I forget to draw a lot or have trouble figuring it out sometimes. And it’s something I can show the world. Not much to anyone in the real world, especially not my family since I doubt they’re interested in my fanart, but I can at least show them to the Internet

And while fandom isn’t the nicest place to be, interacting on these spaces requires knowledge that I actually have and am interested in, and people actually will listen to what I say, and sometimes even agree with me. It’s one of the only places I feel an iota of smartness, even if I can’t be that analytical because my brain isn’t like that naturally and tends to see very surface level things, or deeper things I just can’t express in words

And just all in all, those things make me happy. Yeah I feel guilt at night that I favor those things instead of dealing with real world stuff, but they’re all I know and have

At least I think that’s part of the reason why. I don’t know for sure and I don’t know if I worded it all correctly

[hindiakotanga]

Hardest question to answer: Okay ka lang ba? Kamusta ka na?

My life has been a roller coaster ride for a couple of months. Minsan, I’m asking myself, kamusta ka na nga ba Angelica?

We have our own silent battles and traumas. Lahat tayo may unsaid thoughts, and unsaid feelings. Karamihan sa atin, gusto ng sumuko kapag naiisip natin na bakit sobrang daming struggles at problema, kapag pinanghihinaan tayo ng loob at nasasaktan, kapag sobra ka ng naging strong for a long time at sobrang napagod ka na. I admit that I am one of those people before. So whenever someone is asking me: “Are you okay?”, I tend to avoid the question and laugh.

But I realized something, you cannot run from your problems, you need to face it. You can hide the pain, and smile, pero at the end of the day, you need to feel it in order to grieve. Admitting that you struggle isn’t an admission of weakness. Give yourself the time to heal, forgive yourself, and appreciate all the blessings that He gave. Minsan kasi, hindi natin nakikita na mas madami ung blessings kesa sa problema natin, na mas madami ung nagmamahal sa atin kesa sa mga umaalis. God is bigger than our problems.

Whenever we feel alone, always remember that He is with us, talk to Him, cry to Him, pray, and He will always listen. Surrender it all to God. Lahat ng bigat na nararamdaman mo, gagaan. When you accepted Jesus, and chose to follow Him, you will never be alone. God's love is beyond our imagination. He isn't just loving; He is love itself. When we experience His love, we learn to love others genuinely, and because of His love, we need not fear anything.

As the bible says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.””

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31‬:‭8‬

At sa lahat ng patuloy na lumalaban sa buhay, may pinagdadaanan, nasasaktan, at nagheheal, everything will be alright in time, trust in Him. Hindi ito mabilis na process, but one day, tatawanan mo nalang ung mga pinagdaanan mo, at masasabi mo na, “Thank you Lord sa lahat. Some were blessings, and some were lessons.” You’ll find your peace, love, and comfort in Him. Iwanan ka man ng mundo, hinding-hindi ka iiwan ng Diyos.

Kapag may nagtanong sayo ulit ng “Okay ka lang ba?”, you will be confident while answering na, “Yes, I am joyful😊”

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬

“Don’t be sad! Because God sends hope in the most desperate moments. Don’t forget, the heaviest rain comes out of the darkest clouds.”

— Rumi

[bonesandthebees]

GODDDHFJSKAJDJFKFKJSKFKFJFJF I FINISHEDDD I'll probs do a reread and do a proper review bc I didn't get a chance to write down my thoughts while reading through the first time but eueuudufvjjsjdd I'm so emotional that was the perfect fucking ending for glass bee oh my gosh :(( 🫶🫶🫶

They mean sm to me I feel so ougohuhohigihoh

I love your fics so much man they're genuinely so incredible and I think they're the most unique this fandom has ever seen. Like glass and stars are both sooo<333 the world building?? The plot and conflicts?? Idk it's just crazy to me that we get to read this shit for free it's fuckign professional level writing bee. Thank you so so much for sharing it with us 🫶🫶🫶 I'm so lucky that it's a part of my life bc it genuinely is one of my fav things in it

You have a way of making me feel satisfied when I read your fic endings. Like. I hate it when stuff ends shfjfkf it's a problem of mine. I normally like will refuse to read/watch an ending bc I don't want it to end and also a lot of times??? I will just. Not like the ending. Either bc it's shit or the fact that it is an ending, but with your fics?? They've always been fucking amazing. I mean shfjgkf it def helps that there's another fic ur writing that I can read after this one's over, but for the actual ending part?? You write it so well man. It always ties up everything super nicely but not in like?? An unrealistic way where ur like "well that's just Too convenient". Like there's still enough of a question where the readers can leave it up to interpretation and come up with their own ideas, but all the major plot points are resolved and they all come together so nicely too?? And the last line is Always a banger. Ur so cool bee. Whenever I read the end of ur fic, I will literally smile bc im just like "aw man that's perfect" I SMILE!!! THAT'S CRAZY FOR ME NORMALLY IM SAD ITS OVER but with ur writing it's just like "damn holy shit that was perfect" rahhhssss I fucking love your writing Bee so so much

God and just... Glass is such a unique story too. Like ?? Cyberpunk religious trauma story?? Literally nothing I'd ever consume. I'm not the biggest fan of cyberpunk (I don't dislike it it's just not my preferred stuff to read) and as an agonistic person with religious trauma I normally avoid reading anything to do with religion LMAOODOFJFK (tho I've actually been trying to be more openminded and learn about all the diff types of religions and stuff) so I honestly was like "huh not sure what to expect from this fic but. It's bee so" And LORD I fucking??? Loved this fic??? So much??? Like I got so invested and I honestly really enjoyed the religious aspects of it a lot. It was such a fascinating topic like philosophy wise man. And oughhhfsjfk the way you used Wilbur vs Pronouns vs Pythia was genius. Like. That's such a creative tool to use?? Makes me appreciate writing sm. U just can't get this stuff in visual forms like tv/movies. It's just really neat seeing all the ways u play around with writing. It's super cool and impressive

Whenever I read ur writing it makes me feel like a smarter person tbh like. Just the way I turn my brain on to digest what you've written it's SOOO nice

And I am especially excited for rose bc I feel like my brain is gonna go haywire in that one too ehehehe also look at me go, finally reading a mcd fic (no literally bee. I haven't even read Passerine bc it's major character death. But I'm reading it for u. ^-^)

LORDDDFJFJ okay I gotta go do my french quiz now . And then I'll read rose ch2 BUT JUSR !!!!!!! UR AMAZING BEE !!!!! LOVE U AND UR WRITING SM !!!! TY FOR BEING EPIC ❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶

awww thank you icy <3 this is so kind. I just love writing and always have, and it means so much that I have a supportive audience like you guys who are willing to read my silly stories

I'm so glad you like my endings. I always try to end my stories in just the right spot, when it feels like everything that needs to be said has been said while still leaving things open for the readers to imagine what comes next. I don't have super specific criteria for my endings, I just go with my gut on what feels right and it's worked out pretty well so far.

it makes me so happy that you took a chance on the kind of story you'd never normally read just because it was mine. I knew glass was a pretty unique concept because you don't usually see cyberpunk combined with those kinds of themes, so I was definitely a bit worried how many people would tune in for it. but I was so happy to find out that so many of you guys were willing to check it out because it was mine. like that seriously means so much to me to hear. I had such a fun time exploring those themes and emotions.

when I decided to do the pythia vs wilbur narration thing it felt like I was taking a huge risk. I was very worried that it would turn a lot of readers off to the story, but when I thought about the impact it could have as a format choice I knew I had to do it even if I lost some readers because of it. I really love experimenting with my writing and trying out new things, and as I'm sure you've noticed by now I have a particular affection for themes surrounding names and the power they hold. so it just felt like such a perfect way of diving into themes surrounding names while also getting a chance to experiment with format in a way I hadn't done before. I'm so glad it paid off well.

it means a lot that you're going to stick with under the hanging rose when you don't normally read MCD. I can't promise you won't be sad, but I can promise the MCD I have planned isn't going to be cheap or just angst fodder. it'll be narratively satisfying (or unsatisfying but in an intentional way lol)

thank you for all the love you give me icy this made me so happy to read <3 so glad you enjoyed

[taralen]

⚠️visual snow ʍous ๅɐnsᴉʌ

The thoughts drop and drip out of my skull... Mad emotional ramblings ahead. Scroll to avoid. It's quite much...ha ha.

I was speaking with a friend, and the conversation came up about seeing static or "visual noise," as one might say. I genuinely thought everyone sees the world like this and that the picture-perfectness of photographs and videos doesn't reflect real vision at all. After doing a bit of research, I discovered that I don't see like a normal person at all.

I see the world through what is called visual snow. How this looks varies per individual, but it's generally when there's a bunch of crap that seems like your eyes are a screen. For example, seeing floaters often, after images of things, small lights, rainbow noise, and static. Migraines, astigmatism, and brain damage are just some of the causes of this, but in my case, I always see the world like this. I have a weak left eye, but that's not the cause.

I don't know what it's like to see a horizon and not have it be blinding and give me intense afterimages. I thought this was normal. I thought it was normal to see noise and lines, etc, constantly. I never bothered to bring this up whenever I had my eyes checked, either.

I know other people see like me, obviously, but I'm trying to come to terms with the fact I will probably never see like I'm supposed to. I tried imagining that reality, seeing the world like the photographs and videos, and it left me crying because I don't think I ever will.

I don't know how I've been an artist this long with this problem. I'm dead serious. It makes me wonder... What else am I seeing wrong? Or even hearing wrong? Tasting wrong? Feeling wrong....

"It's so weird. It's like we're teaching you how to be a person."

What's that? I only know sadness and anger. I was told those words a long time ago, by people I no longer have in my life. It's a sentence I can never forget. Do friends say this to each other? Do they? I don't know, I truly don't.

What is this feeling I have right now, then? Am I crying because I am relieved I'm not the only one in the world who sees the world through literal garbage visuals, or am I sad because I will never have a normal sight?

What is the feeling of true happiness? I can't tell you. I have been in a box so long that I don't know what it means to feel intense positive emotions. Am I happy? Or is it something more?

What do [[you guys]] see? What? I mean, it must be something nice, right? Did I make[[ you]] laugh? I mean, if I can do that much...

"We used to talk all the time!"

But I'm not a friend. I'm your subordinate, your ex-coworker. What did I do? How do you remember me? Did I make you laugh? Leave an impression? I don't know. I can't see anything without v i s u al s n o w. I remember smiling and laughing, but I can't remember who that (me) was or why why why

Noise looks so much better against a dark background.

I was born at.... 3 AM I believe.

Ambivalence. Dancing between there and then and now.

what the hell am I doing

ḩ̿̿ͮ̀͟͏̫ ̵̵̧̞ͬ̅ͣ͝e̸̴̶̻ͧ̑ͪ͝ ̧̝̆͘͝͠l̸̩ͪ̇͛̓̕͜͠ ̷̗̇͡͠͠p̶̧̛̳̏͂̄́͢