#when your illness is invisible they think your fine

[nameless5868]

[monimccoythings]

Mending each other's hearts I (Logan Howlett/ Wolverine x Mutant!Reader)

I just love heatrbreaking stories that end with happy endings, this one might actually have a part two. I have to take all of this creative rush suddenly flowing and write as much as I can before I'm back to nothing. This reader's powers are invisibility.

It really hurt. To have someone you are madly in love with so out of reach, in love with somebody else. To know that no matter what you did, he would never look at you the same way he looked at her. Jean. She was perfect, gorgeous, smart, kind, and powerful. The golden child of Xavier’s School. Truly a Marvel girl.

You couldn’t help but envy your friend, not only has caught the eyes of two men, but also was the apple of your mentor’s eye. You couldn’t say it was undeserved. As much as you adored Jean as a friend, sometimes you resented her for having it all and not seeming to notice.

It twisted your heart every time you caught one of his longing looks, or his soft smiles. You felt the burning sensation of tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat. You forcefully swallowed it down, the least you wanted was everyone pitying you over some unrequited crush. 

You couldn’t afford to tell anyone, so every time there was a big alpha male fight between Scott and Logan over her affections you quietly stayed as far as you could. Knowing that staying and hearing him fight for her love would completely break you.

That didn’t mean you didn’t quietly cry in the shower or when you were alone in bed. Those were the only places where the tears could flow freely and you allowed your sobs to wreck your body.

You once thought that being his close friend, his confidant, someone he fully trusted would be enough. That you could move on past your silly infatuation until it was nothing more than a buzzing noise in your head. Time could heal everything, you would get used to the heart ache and live normally.

However, Cupid was a resentful bitch.

It only took you being in the wrong place at the wrong time, to finally break into tiny little pieces. As you were getting some papers to grade, you realized you had left your phone back in the class. If only you hadn’t noticed until much later; maybe you would have saved yourself from watching the man who you loved the most passionately kissing your friend, his real one true love.

Your body turned cold, for once, you wished your invisibility powers kicked in and made you disappear. But you couldn’t. You felt blocked, glued to the carpet, unable to move, to think, to breathe as your entire world crashed around you. That’s the worst part of deceiving oneself, when reality comes knocking it hits you harder than any punch.

Maybe if you had stayed longer, you would have seen Jean gently pushing Logan away, with a heartbroken look in her face, quietly shaking her head with silent tears running down her cheeks. Maybe you would have seen the look of utter defeat in Logan’s face, knowing the heart of his beloved was already taken. Maybe, maybe, maybe… but you didn’t.

You don’t remember how you managed to return to your room, how you found yourself able to walk all the way without collapsing. For a second, you wondered if it had been real, an hallucination caused by the stress of being a teacher in a school full of mutant teenagers. As much as you tried to convince yourself, the tear drops staining the papers were proof that what had just happened was very much real.

It felt like something inside you had died that day.

People could see it, the light in you getting duller, your voice was starting to lose the warmth it once held. You tried to fake it, to pretend that everything was fine, that you were the same as always. But it was as plain as day how much you were grieving.

Until one day you casually took a look at yourself in the mirror. What a sorry sight.

Your skin was pale, more fitting of an ill person than a healthy mutant; your eyes looked glossy, probably due to the sleepless nights you had spent crying your heart out until you could barely feel anything; your hair, usually as tidy as you could get it, fell limp over your shoulders, unkept.

You felt sorry for yourself, pathetic, weak. That's what you were.

The only one to blame for this was looking straight at you through red rimmed eyes. This love, this bleeding twisted love, needed to go out, vanish for all eternity. You had no plans of moving, you had nowhere to go, as long as you stayed at the mansion you would have to constantly be reminded of what you so wholeheartedly desired but could never have. Unless you put an end to that.

How did that saying go? “A new worry helps to take the pain away”, Logan needed to be out of your system if you wanted to keep both him and Jean in your life. And there was only one way to do it. A good old wild night in town. Would it completely erase what you felt for that rugged old man? Surely not, but it was a great first step.

You would have loved to invite Ororo and Jean with you to have a decent girls night for once, but this was something you needed to do on your own. So without telling anybody, you took Friday off and got ready to put an end to this pain once and for all.

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There was something off with you, he could feel it. For the past couple of months you had not been entirely yourself and that was upsetting him to no end.

Your friends had tried to help you open up, out of concern to no avail. Apparently, your problems were something that you had decided you would go through on your own. But Logan didn’t agree with you. It burned him watching someone he deeply cared about lose a bit of light with each passing day, and it burned him even more not being able to do anything to help. He felt useless, doomed to watch you consume yourself more and more until there was anything left.

His pain over Jean’s rejection had left him somber and broken, but watching you slowly succumb into a pit of despair had damaged him in ways no one should have. You, his closest friend, if he was able to have something like that, his little ‘Casper’ who was always so kind, so considerate, even to an asshole like him; were suffering and he couldn’t protect you from that pain.

Logan remembered how soft your hands were, how warm your touch was and how bright your smile was. And now there was only left an empty carcass, a living shadow of what you once were. He found himself mourning over something he would never have again.

Fuck, he wanted you back. He missed you. He needed you back. It was so emotional, he couldn’t give a single fuck about it. 

He was going to get you back.

When Hank told him that you had suddenly taken that day off, Logan panicked, fearing the worst. Nearly on fours he ran up the stairs, praying to whatever deity he didn’t believe in that you hadn’t left.

And you hadn’t.

He wasn’t prepared for what he found in your room. You, sitting in front of the mirror of your vanity, applying the last touches of mascara to your eyes. Your hair was done in a very elegant way, combed and curled till it reached perfection; your eyeshadow, combined with the mascara, highlighted the color of your eyes making them shine. Your lips were painted in a red as dark as blood that was practically begging to be smeared across your mouth.

And the icing on the cake were that tantalizing red dress that hugged all your curves in the best way, and those impossibly high heels that made your legs endless.

He was speechless. So speechless he didn’t notice how you momentarily paled only to recover your composure once again.

“Did you… did you want something?” You asked, shyly. Panicking at the thought of your plan ending before it had even started.

Logan didn’t answer, too busy taking all of you in. His eyes quickly darted from one part to another. The air coming out of him in short breaths, his sturdy chest rising and falling. Fists clenching and unclenching.

“Where are you going?”His voice sounded raspy.

“Out.” You simply stated, it hurted but you had to remain cold for this to work.

“With who?” It didn’t go unnoticed to you the dangerous edge in his voice. Why would he even care about it?

“I’m flying solo tonight, hopefully not for long, if you know what I mean.”  You tried to play it cool, like you were just teasing a friend, as the old you would, but Logan could smell bullshit coming a mile away, so obviously he didn’t buy it.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Oh you knew that face he was making, he was getting angrier by the second. You still could feel the remains of the heartbreak sinking like daggers in your badly beaten heart.

“I mean that I’m not planning on sleeping here tonight, Lo.”

He didn’t like at all the ugly, primal feeling that arose in his chest at your words. That sudden urge to destroy, to tear apart your dress and lock you in your room, away from prying eyes. It must have shown in his face, because you uneasily sank back into your chair.

You weren’t going to let him scare you away from this. His big bad man act may have worked on other people, but you knew him well enough to know that was purely a façade. Mustering all the bravery and courage left in you, you picked the remaining pieces of your heart and stood up determined to keep going whether he wanted it or not. A low warning growl emanated from his body when you walked past him. “Bye, Lo.” He didn’t like how final those two words sounded.

And for a couple of seconds he just stood there, just processing what had happened. You sounded so determined, so ready to leave and not coming back it was unsettling. It was a future he didn’t look forward to.

He caught a whiff of your scent, laced with that perfume the students gifted you on your birthday. You were going out alone, dressed out like that, and possibly coming home smelling like a stranger???

Oh, hell no.

[miaoua3]

heyy can you make one for how svt would act as a bf with his gf when they are in front of other members? im sorry for my broken grammar and i love your writing

hey! of course i can, this sounds so fun to write! (and your grammar is perfectly fine sweetheart have more faith in yourself❤️)

Seventeen-How Would They Act With Their GF In Front Of The Memebers?

seungcheol: i said this once but ill say it again- i definitely think he and you would become mom and dad of the group, meaning that you two would either be more laid back, in your own world while talking quietly between each other as the others cause chaos which you two would need to break off if you don’t want coups to be paying a fine for the damages, OR you would join the other members in causing havoc on occasion, it all depends on the mood really. but one thing is for certain- he wouldn’t stop looking at you with these gentle and loving eyes as you talk either to him or to the others, he just loves looking at you so much (he gets teased for this so much by his members). not that big on pda but will kiss the side of your head every now and then and will hold your hand the entire time❤️

jeonghan: our little mischievous angel would definitely get you in on his schemes, you two are always plotting something new and new ways how to tease the other members- one time when all of you got incredibly drunk, you made dino believe that he for real was invisible, which was hilarious to the two of you until the drunk dino started crying to seungcheol and you two got scolded by him for making his youngest son cry >:( another one that isn’t that big on pda but will kiss the back of your hand every few minutes as a way to show his affections for you. if all of you are playing some type of game he most definitely will pair up with you and cheat in order to make you two win because…does he need a reason to make his queen win and be happy? didn’t think so

joshua: this might be one of the members who gets teased the most for looking at you like a lovesick puppy- he’s just staring at you the entire time with THAT smile of his. definitely glued to you the entire night, spends the whole time looking at you and telling you how pretty you are, kissing your cheek and tucking hair behind your ear- he’s just so… *dreamy sigh* he’s the most perfect boyfriend ever, he just can’t help himself that you are so pretty and good and kindhearted, he simply has to try his hardest to be the best boyfriend for you (even if it makes his members jokingly puke from how sweet he’s being to you)

jun: the silliest boyfriend out of them all, he will just try extra hard to be the funniest member that night because he doesn’t want his baby to be laughing at other’s jokes >:( pls pay ALL the attention to him, he wants you to only look at him and laugh at his silly little jokes and hug him and show him just how much you love him. the members don’t even want to say anything about how disgusting you two are being because it’s so rare for their junnie to be so opened and carefree around somebody so they just let you two be in your own world, laughing and clinging to each other the entire night. also one of the clingy boyfriends, he just loves how warm you feel like when he hugs you so he never wants to let go of you

hoshi: i trully believe that hoshi needs somebody that will match his freak, meaning: somebody who will be obnoxiously loud at times, somebody who he can be absolutely wild with, somebody who is just as clingy as he is, always hugging him and kissing his cheeks, puckering their lips while he’s being a cute and telling him “you are so cute” through a pout- he just needs somebody who he can be young and stupid with. his members definitely hate it when you two are together and when there’s alcohol around you, jeonghan is already rolling his eyes and seungcheol already feels the headache he will end up with at the end of the night but you two are so happy with each other so…how could they ever say anything? another member of the “clingy bfs” club, he will have an arm around your shoulders the entire time, rubbing his face against your shoulder- all nine yards, hoshi isn’t afraid of pda, the pda is afraid of hoshi

wonwoo: one of the most attentive boyfriends out of svt, he will cut the bbq meat for you, will refill your glass all the time, will make sure that you drink enough water if you’re drinking- he’s just so laid back yet so sweet, he just wants to make sure you’re having a really good time with his members. actually prefers it when you’re socialising with the other boys rather than staying next to him 24/7, he just wants to see his family get along well with the love of his life, but if you choose to stay by his side and quietly talk about whatever book or game or news you have, he won’t complain. unlike hoshi, wonu definitely keeps clear line on pda, holding your hand and kissing the top of your head is the furthest he will go to, he just doesn’t like rubbing his love for you in other people’s faces, so he’s definitely very low-key

woozi: jihoon never wanted to be the center of attention, that’s why he always preferred staying in the background, letting his members spew nonsense while he laughed at the said nonsense. and still, nothing much has changed since then, except that now he sometimes has you by his side to laugh together with and sometimes has you join his members in spewing nonsense. whichever the case, he always enjoys it, he always has this wide smile grazing his lips, looking at all of you (but especially you) with love-filled eyes. definitely won’t initiate any form of physical affection because he doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but if you hug him while drunk…he won’t turn you away per say, but he won’t cling to you like a certain somebody would *cough, cough* hoshi *cough*, just a little rub of the hand on your lower back and that’s the furthest he’s willing to let it go. if he wants to hug you and kiss you and shower you in affection, he will do so at home, where his members can’t see (and can’t tease him about it)

minghao: surprisingly goes WILD whenever you two are around his members, he just feels so comfortable with all of his favourite people around him that he isn’t afraid of making a fool out of himself in front of you all- matter of fact, he will drag into his craziness and make you look ridiculous too, be it that he suddenly takes your hand and makes you dance around the table, make you sing loudly and off-key with him or make you fight with him against his members as a way to prove a point- it doesn’t matter what he makes you do, as long as he makes you all laugh in the process, he deems it worth it all. of course, sometimes he just sits down with you and just talks quietly about anything that crosses his mind, but 9 times out of 10, he’s going crazy, accusing jeonghan of cheating in uno again lol. won’t go overboard on pda but will hold your hand and leave little pecks on your lips and forehead here and there, nothing too much, just a little something-something

mingyu: if you ever thought that this big baby is anything but clingy with you, you would be WRONG. seriously, he’s constantly wrapped around you, leaning his head either on your shoulder or on your head, giggling in your ear at other’s jokes. it’s somehow even worse when he’s drunk because he also starts mumbling nonsense and kissing you the entire time, will just kiss your cheek right where your ear is and will mumble “i just loooove you so muchhh” in your ear. his members definitely have a FIELD DAY whenever he gets drunk and you’re around too lmao, jeonghan takes so many incriminating videos it’s crazy. little baby has no shame, if he wants affection and to kiss you, he will do as much >:( and you better reciprocate, otherwise you will have a very pouty and very clingy gyu shaking you while whining “pay attention to meeee” until you do as much (seriously i could never deal with this man so…whoever cuffs him i wish you all of the luck in the world dealing with this 6ft tall puppy lmao)

dk: another one that goes absolutely wild, will serenade you passionately in front of everyone, probably will fall to his knees in front of you very dramatically (you better match his freakiness and cup his face just as dramatically), he’s just so silly and funny. will definitely sing a duet with him, no matter if you can or can’t sing, he WILL make you sing with him. he isn’t that touchy per say, he’s just much more forward with his affection-while the others just hug and kiss their partners cheeks, dokyeom will come and passionately kiss you on the lips in front of everyone if you two score a 100 on the karaoke machine. he’s just very open about his affection for you and isn’t afraid to show it off in front of the others. but definitely loves to hug you all the time, he just likes how soft and cuddly you feel that he can’t resist hugging you all the time☹️❤️

seungkwan: oh shit-talker 1 and shit-talker 2, again together? what a surprise, is what all the members think to themselves when they see you two walk in together (affectionately ofc). you two are literally so alike that you even react the same way to the things- which is a NASTY side eye to whoever said or did something odd, sparing no one of your judgement. you two either join seoksoo’s nonsense and are being problematic children for seungcheol or are just sitting in a corner, pressed together as you talk shit about others and giggle about it. you two are definitely the fun couple™️ of the group, always having funny stories to share, sometimes doing the bit where you two explain the same story, talking together and adding the details the other forgot, making everyone around you laugh to death. isn’t the most affectionate, he’s too busy being funny to be lovey-dovey with you, but will definitely high five you all the time and maybe kiss your cheek every time you do something funny

vernon: unlike seungkwan and his girl who act like animals who have been let out of the zoo for the very first time, vernon and you two are so…calm and collected. you two are just sitting down together, his hand on your thigh or around your shoulders, either laughing at his members or quietly talking to each other about the new movie that is supposed to be coming out in a few weeks. you two are just so chill, it makes you two look so cool and others are so envious of this. seungcheol definitely thinks of you two as his favourite children, always ready to help him ship the drunken ones back home and help him clean up a bit. loves sneaking a little secret kisses when nobody’s watching, will just turn his head left and right to see if anyone is paying attention to you two before leaning in to leave a sweet and long kiss on you soft kiss. you two are just so perfect for each other and his members are so glad that you two found each other❤️

dino: another lovesick puppy of the group. he can be wilding around and causing chaos, but the second you call him either because you need something or simply to calm down, he’s sitting down next to you and just being like “yes ma’am”. his eyes literally turn into two hearts whenever he sees you talking, be it to him or somebody else, he’s just so in love he could fly away by how easy and aloof he feels due to all the happiness you bring him. is something between a storyteller in the group and someone who just laughs uncontrollably at others, always making you join him due to his laugh being so infectious. a little affectionate cuddle bug, will play with your fingers the entire night and maybe even lean his head on your shoulder or your lap when he’s feeling a bit tired and sleepy. you two are just so cute the others don’t even have the heart to tease you two (and also because they already experienced the nasty look you gave them when they were making fun of your boyfriend ( in your defence, he’s just a little guy,little baby :())

[nagichi-boop]

Gerald’s Journal - Disability representation

I read scans of Gerald’s Journal and I have to talk about it. Not the lore or anything like that, but the disability rep. I didn’t expect to cry reading this.

Please don’t look at this post if you don’t want to be spoiled about what’s in this journal. If you do want to read it, you can find scans here. Credit to this Twitter/X thread for the images I’ll use.

I don’t have much to say about this image, but it is nice to see Maria using a mobility aid. It’s not often we get representation for an ambulatory wheelchair user.

I do wonder about Maria’s relationship with her parents. They weren’t happy with Gerald’s wish to bring her to the ARK so that he could research a cure for her, but they let her go anyways? Maybe Gerald got some sort of order to get her to go or Maria decided she wanted to go with him, but it seems a little odd to me. I’ll expand on this a little later.

Quote from right page: “[Maria] is growing into a lovely young woman. It breaks my heart that someone as bright and energetic as her is diminished by disease. There are no visible effects, and I’ve caught my fellow researchers muttering to each other, doubting her illness. It is infuriating. I find all my reason and restraint vanished when she’s slighted.”

Oh my days, I’ve never felt so seen by a piece of media and it just so happens to be my special interest video game. I am tearing up again thinking about this. Maybe that’s silly but to have a character express his frustrations about people doubting the invisible disability of his grandchild is so touching. I wish people in my life were more like Gerald. People with invisible illnesses get doubted so much because we “look fine”, but it’s so invalidating to have your struggles questioned just because the symptoms aren’t as visibly obvious.

Quote from left page: “[Maria] doesn’t know the full scope of what [Shadow] has been designed for, but she understands he will be under tremendous strain. She’s helped me conceptualize a number of accessories that will help focus his power and aid in his mobility.”

So we now have confirmation that Shadow’s air shoes and inhibitor rings are akin to mobility aids. I headcanoned this but I didn’t know they’d flat out confirm it like that. My favourite character is canonically disabled physically (and I’d argue mentally given his PTSD). I don’t have much to say about this besides being happy that my favourite character is now even more relatable.

It also makes a lot of sense for Maria to help create them because she has experience with her own disability and can offer a perspective that an able bodied person couldn’t. That and it makes Shadow’s connection so much stronger. His mobility aids were designed by Maria. He didn’t just help her with her disability - she helped with his. He wouldn’t be able to function without what she and Gerald created for him.

Quote from the right: “Back on Earth [Maria’s?] parents have been blessed with another little girl. They’re already run tech(?) and she has none of the genetic markers like to [Maria’s] condition. While this was welcomed news, the unspoken commentary was received loud and clear.”

(I am assuming they’re talking about Maria’s sister, but I guess they could also be talking about her cousin.)

So did Maria’s parents see their new daughter as a replacement? If I’m reading that correctly, it’s so sad. Do you think Gerald told Maria about her sister/cousin? If she did know about it, I bet she was excited to meet her. But I get the feeling that her parents back home didn’t really care about her anymore given what Gerald says in his journal. It hurts that much more when you consider how much Maria wanted to go home, perhaps even return to her family.

I feel like all of this makes Maria’s death more tragic for both Gerald and Shadow. For Gerald, he did so much reason and sacrificed so much in order to try and find a cure for Maria. He supported her when no one else did. And from his perspective, despite her illness and the judgement of others, including potentially her own family, she was still positive. And yet she was killed, and he only found out about her death because of a report that had her name on it (I think anyways?).

From Shadow’s perspective, she is the person who gave his name meaning. Despite most being distant and weary of her, she was immediately friendly to him and helped teach him about the world. She helped created the devices used to reduce his pain and control his powers. He quite literally carries part of him with her. She was his sole reason for existing for a long time. And despite being this super supportive, kind, loving person, she was killed. I can imagine him being mad at Gerald for messing with his memories, but I figure there’s a degree of understanding, even if he doesn’t fully agree with what Gerald did. The difference between them both is Shadow’s purpose shifted beyond Maria while Gerald’s did not. Anyways, I digress - this post is about disability rep, not Shadow lore.

I love this and Dark Beginnings for their direct and indirect disability rep. My love for Shadow and Maria has only grown and I have a deeper appreciation for Gerald. I wish more people were as understanding as he is towards people with invisible disabilities.

I don’t really have a conclusion. I just really wanted to yap about the journal entries.

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 17: kuni

There have only ever been three times you saw Scaramouche so far.

First was when you reluctantly had to watch his team's match against your brother's. He was sporting a white jersey with blue accents, representing his own university with all his glory. Though laced with tension and fatigue, his whole being still demanded attention and attraction — from you.

Second, when you met him outside your own brother's — his rival — birthday party. It was purely coincidental, how he opted to stay outside and how you were running late to the dinner. It was fate, how you both clicked despite being strangers to each other. It was all adrenaline, the reason why you accidentally gave your identity away.

And the third was today.

No more invisible strings, no more coincidences.

He was here... of his own accord.

For you.

It would've been romantic if you disregard the purpose of his visit — but still! Does he always take his friends who stay indoors to go out and see the sun? No, you don't think so.

Maybe you're a special case.

"Hey," he greeted. Scaramouche was there with his hands tucked inside his pockets, leaning against the fences surrounding your home.

'He looks so damn attractive just standing like that,' you thought.

"Hi," you smiled sheepishly.

"Let's go?"

"To where?"

"Anywhere, I guess?"

"You're the one who's taking me outside and you don't even have an itinerary?" You laughed. "How are we even going to leave?"

The man was unfazed by your bursting out. He just sighed and shook his head.

"We're commuting," Scaramouche said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. He, however, spoke again before you even had the chance to. "I have a motorbike, but I didn't want to take a risk, just in case you didn't know how to ride one."

You shrugged. "I could always learn."

Unamused, he flicked your forehead. "Stupid. Don't you ever care for yourself?"

"No need."

"What?"

"You'll do that job just fine, won't you?" You grinned at how he easily he was affected by your teasing. He wasn't flushed, no. But the way his brows furrowed, how his lips formed a thin line, and how he looked away — it was all a give-away. You have an effect on him. Somehow.

"Do you just hit on everyone you meet?"

"Oh? So you took that as me hitting on you?"

"What else would that be —" Scaramouche clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Whatever. Let's just go."

"Does your brother even know you're chatting and hanging out with me?" The boy that was sat across you uttered, having just finished sipping from his drink.

You almost choked. "Well, I would let him know if I could."

He nodded and continued sipping, but didn't bother to stop staring at you.

You looked away.

Did he really expect you would tell Kazuha about your interactions with him? If it was someone else you're crushing on, it would've been fine. You could always deal with a little teasing.

But Scaramouche? The captain of the University of Inazuma's soccer team? Rival of your brother, who was the captain of TNU's soccer team?

Kazuha would explode.

You looked back at the man.

Still staring.

"Uhh," you started off. "It's not that I'm ashamed of you or anything, it's just that..."

"Hmm?"

If the Lasso of Truth — Wonder Woman's weapon — were real, you swore you were currently binded by it. Scaramouche's expectant gaze, his slightly arched brow, and the tiny curve of his lips that he failed to hide despite his best attempt... it had the same effect on you.

It was something irresistible.

"It's just that... their image of you, in their team... let's just say, aha." You gave out an awkward chuckle. "It's not that good."

Scaramouche laughed at your words.

"Oh no, [Name]," he smirked, his tone straying away from his usual one. "Whatever would your dearest older brother do if he found out you were hanging out with a delinquent?"

"What the fuck? Scara!" You laughed.

"So? What do they say about me?"

"Rude. Arrogant. Ill-mannered."

"Ouch. But wow, that's actually fewer than I thought." He looked proud.

"Etcetera."

"Oh."

He frowned. "There's more?"

You just answered with a smile.

Your meal was filled with fun teas and hushed laughters, but it was cut short by vibrations from a phone on the table. It was Scaramouche's.

He picked the black device up, brows soon furrowing while reading the notifications he just received.

"Are you alright?" Concern grew. "What was it?"

He put his phone in his pocket. "Nothing."

You knew it had to be something.

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

previous . masterlist . next

SUMMARY — you find plenty of guys around you attractive, but there is only one you’re willing to make the first move on: the guy you first saw during your older brother’s soccer game. spoiler: he's a player from your rival university.

TAGLIST I (closed)

@kararisa @krnzysh @syriiina @unsterblich-prinz @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @youthingazi @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Sick Call

Amelia Shepherd x fem!reader Warnings: established relationship, pure unadulterated fluff, seriously so fluffy, sickfic, would that we all had someone taking care of us when we were sick I mean come on Word Count: 0.8k

Summary: You wake up sick in the middle of the night, but your doctor girlfriend won't let you go back to sleep without a full check-up and some taking care of.

You tossed and turned in the bed, head pounding. You’d tried to convince yourself it was just a headache, just allergies, just anything except actual illness. But if your aching head, stuffy nose, and chills were any indication, you were really and truly sick. You coughed and pulled the blankets up to your ears, trying to keep warm. Unable to fall asleep, you propped yourself up to look out the window at the lighted coast and the darkness beyond. Your house was too far away to hear the ocean, but you knew it was there. You fell back down on the pillow with a soft groan, pressing your fingers into your temples. Beside you, Amelia stirred.

“You okay, bean?” Amelia’s voice was gravelly with sleep as she turned to face you.

“Yeah. Just sick. Go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Amelia’s hand shot out of the dark and wrapped around your neck.

“Ow!” you exclaimed.

Amelia sat up. “Your lymph nodes are swollen,” she observed. She moved her hand to your forehead. “And you’re definitely running a fever.” She sat up and turned on a lamp.

You groaned and squinted. “Jesus.”

Amelia launched herself out of bed and strolled into the bathroom.

“Amy,” you protested weakly. “I’m fine. Come back to bed.”

You could hear Amelia rummaging in the bathroom closet. “That’s what you always say.”

“Yes, but eventually I’m always right,” you called, yawning and propping yourself up on your elbow.

Amelia returned to the room carrying several pill bottles, a wet washrag, and a thermometer. “Open up,” she said, pointing the thermometer at your mouth.

You raised your eyebrows. “Amelia. It’s the middle of the night. I have a cold. This is a little overkill, don’t you think?”

Amelia looked around the room, as if gesturing to an invisible audience that this was unbelievable. “I’m sorry, who’s the doctor here?”

You wordlessly rolled your eyes and opened your mouth. Amelia popped the thermometer in and started opening pill bottles.

“Are you gonna pull the doctor card every time I have the sniffles?” you mumbled through the thermometer.

“Yes,” Amelia said. “Now shut up so I can get an accurate read.”

The thermometer beeped and Amelia removed it, peering at the screen. “102.6,” she read. Amelia shook two pills into her hand and opened your water bottle. “Take these.”

“What is it?” you asked, swallowing the pills quickly.

“NyQuil,” said Amelia. “Drink, like, half that water bottle.” She set the bottle of NyQuil and the thermometer on your nightstand.

You drank obediently, then set the water bottle aside. You watched Amelia watching you and felt a surge of love for her furrowed eyebrows, a tell that she was working out how to solve a problem. In this case, the problem was you being sick.

“Now lay down,” Amelia commanded.

You did as you were told, grimacing as you laid your head back down on the pillow and the throbbing resumed.

Amelia leaned over you from her seat on the edge of the bed, brushing a sweaty strand of hair out of your face. She held your head gently, leaned down, and planted a kiss on your forehead. She covered the spot with a cool washrag, letting her fingers linger on your skin a bit longer.

“Thank you, Dr. Shepherd,” you whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Amelia said, walking back to her side of the bed.

Amelia pulled a bottle of hand sanitizer out of her nightstand and squirted some into the palm of her hand.

“Are you using hand sanitizer?” you said, peeking out from under the washcloth.

“Duh. I don’t want your nasty bug.”

“You don’t want to be sick together?”

“Of course not,” Amelia said, pulling up the covers. “I want to be healthy together.”

You sighed. “Fine.”

After a few moments of rustling, Amelia spoke again. “Having established the consistency of the biomarker in a fairly homogenous group of high-risk participants, the broader app–”

“What’s happening right now?” you interjected.

“It’ll take about 30 minutes for the meds to kick in,” Amelia explained. “I’m reading you to sleep.”

“Aw,” you cooed. “That’s so sweet!” You reached over to squeeze Amelia’s thigh.

You couldn’t see it underneath the washrag, but Amelia looked at you with so much love, she thought she might burst. She shook her head and picked up her e-reader again.

“Now, go to sleep and listen to JAMA Neurology.”

You breathed deeply and nodded as Amelia continued reading.

“... the broader applicability of the derived threshold from Oxford Discovery was in a multicenter cohort consisting of a heterogenous group with variable risk of developing PD or related dementia, including GBA1…”

[unadulteratedsoulsweets]

A DC X DP IDEA #1 A mother’s love stretches throughout the realms

Imagine dis…

 What if Danny Fenton is a reincarnated version of Martha Wayne (I’d like to think that she is a badass woman, not your typical rich girl) When the portal accident happened he began remembering the life before Daniel “Danny” Fenton happened. At first, he thought that these memories are nothing more than ‘dreams’, as dreams kept us all day and are often forgotten the moment we wake up but every time he woke up from each ‘dream’ he kept remembering the love and fondness to a man who has the same built to his dad. The care, protectiveness, and love that he gave to Dani to a young male that looked like him, the feeling would cling to him throughout the day. The feeling of protectiveness would amplify his own. He wants nothing more than to find that blurred young boy and make sure that they are right. His core kept aching for that two individuals.

Far worse each year on a specific day. The horror and fear crawled up his spine as well the relief and safety towards the mystery boy.

The moment Danny turned 18 he was crowned as the High king in the Infinite Realm. The moment the crown and ring are within him he is bombarded with information about the information and secrets of the Infinite Realm, he also remembered his son.

He tried to find his husband, Thomas Wayne but was saddened that he couldn’t find his love. But also felt relief seeing that he found peace in his afterlife for him to move on.

After making sure that the balance is restored throughout the realm he wishes to see his son one more time. Using the information he got when he was crowned he navigated through the Infinity realms and entered the DC universe.

He turned invisible to see his son in Gotham, but what greeted him made him fear the worse.

There lay a very injured Batman, how did she know it has his son? Never heard of the phrasing “There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart”

She knew that is her boy, and quickly turned to help his son. Learning under the teaching of the yetis, especially through Frostbite’s guidance he is able to make himself stable enough.

Pressing the panic button under his utility belt he can’t help but linger his eyes towards his boy.

His boy who has done much and given much, he who has so much to love to give, who gave all of his heart, body, soul, and mind to those he calls sons and those who he considers his kin, his boy who turned into a fine young man.

All of a sudden, he wasn’t in a grimy alley anymore but at the Wayne manor taking care of a 7-year-old Bruce who fell ill after playing under the rain.

Thomas his love, besides their son, whispers how he is handling that cold like a champ while Alfred is carrying an empty bowl of chicken soup out of the room.

He can’t help but go back to his old habits, rubbing his boy’s chubby cheeks, promising sweet words to his boy that It will be all right. While singing his lullaby for him.

The moment Nightwing appeared, a lingering cold air remained at the spot beside the man he call father.

It's been a few days since Bruce was recovered and healed up in the manor, having Dick fill in the gaps of Batman for a few days.

At the cave, Bruce is trying to recover the audio as well as the recordings through his cowl as he refused to be compromised. His children assured him that when the rest of them have gotten there he was all bandaged up and no one near could have been his savior. He refused to take the such chance.

The video is nothing more than a lost cause but the audio is clear enough for Batman to listen through it.

The situation, the faint feeling of fingers rubbing his cheeks, and the whispering words of reassurance made him remember but it was the lullaby that sealed the deal and made him freeze up

Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry

No…

There is only one person who knows that song… that night he knew he looked like a man on a mission.

Who is that person who clearly knows his mother’s lullaby to him?

Somewhere near Crime alley, Danny is thinking of meeting the rest of his grandchildren's booth that was adopted officially and unofficially by his son's booth in and out of their suits.

As well as thinking of ways to heal and avenge his second grandchild looks like Jason got his hatred on clowns.

Hey! He may be Martha Wayne at one point but he is also currently Danny Phantom who is the king of Infinite realms, Champion of Balance but most importantly hates clown with passion as well willing to beat that clown up for killing his grandson.

 PS: If someone out there wanting to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so.

[adventuringblind]

Chaotically Ill and Chronically Cute

Lando Norris x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Request: yes! I really like this one and I hope it gives you the feels you were talking about :)

Summary: Lando takes care of his chronically ill girlfriend of a flare day

Warnings: insecurities, this is short

Notes: I purposely left it as a not specified illness. I want you all to have an emersive experience. I personally have MS so it's more directed that way but I tried to make as open as possible.

Masterlist

Chronic Illness. Something that a good chunk of the population deals with. Some are visible and others are invisible.

Hers is just that. Invisible. Unseen.

She's been called many names by oblivious humans. Those who see her as lazy and unhealthy. The ones who ask her dumb questions. The people that give unwarranted health advice.

They can't seem to understand that she puts on a good face. Tries her hardest to seem fine. Walks around and goes out with no issues.

However, some days are better than others. Some days make her want to curl up in her and never come out. The pain is too bad to move. Limbs refusing to work. Her mind refusing to cooperate.

Today is one of those days.

Lando is home for the off weekend. The two are spending their time in eachothers embrace.

He doesn't care one but that her body is fighting against her. He knows she didn't choose this, and it's far from her fault. Despite that, she still ends up feeling like a burden. Lando deserves someone who can be there to support him; not the other way around.

She doesn’t say anything as her body practically gives out on her. She doesn’t say anything when the pain is so bad in the afternoon she wants to cry. She doesn’t say anything when her mind won’t let her sleep because she can’t get comfortable.

Much to her surprise, Lando had caught on. She forgets he can read her so easily.

The next morning she is awoken by Lando running his fingers across her bare skin. “Good-morning beautiful, I made you something to eat.”

He doesn’t say that he knows she’s in pain. Mostly because he knows she’ll deny it and try to prove him wrong. Instead, he just treats her like a queen.

He carries her down the stairs with ease and makes sure she has everything she needs. He tell her that she can let the tears go and gets her pain meds.

He’s quick to catch her when her limbs give out, then carries her to bed and tucks her in.

“I feel like such a burden on you sometimes.” She murmurs into his skin.

“Your not to blame for what your body does. And I don’t think it’s possible for someone so beautiful to be a burden.”

[fridgrave2-0]

We share so many headcanons for Felix and Turbo that it's actually so exciting to see someone who shares a perspective very similar to mine on their characters! I feel like Turbo while dating Felix was less grumpy and sad as a lot of people interpret him :[ like he's not a perfect person ever and he has a million flaws but he also lived as king candy for a while. He's gonna be a little silly, I think. In fact, I think he'd only get that way (mostly) bc of Felix. Like Felix saw this mentally ill guy and went, "I can make him WORSE!" And then justified it to everyone as "I don't know what happened he just went insane!" for almost 30 years. I'd bet half my money that he even coined the term "going Turbo"

YES, EXACTLY, THIS!!!!

let the guy feel happy and silly in a company of someone who's "safe". turbo cannot allow to change others' perception of him by acting out of the line (aka his constant "I'm the best" bravado), but with felix he can relax a little and have a moment of peace when he doesn't have to put on a façade so much. but in the end, the only time he didn't wear a mask was when he was all alone after roadblasters, and being apart from felix was exactly what set him free

felix can't understand anyone else's problems until he goes through something similar and it gets shoved in his face, and even tho he liked turbo a lot back in the day, he was ignorant to things what were troubling turbo. his need of attention and appreciation wasn't normal, and there's only two options: felix supported it to the point when it got out of control, or he was dismissing turbo's concerns and frustrations. I don't see turbo as someone who understands his own emotions, and felix isn't a guy who would help him and guide him into healthier ways of seeking attention because felix himself is just immature and doesn't look outside of his bubble. if he feels good and happy and that his life is fulfilled, that means everyone else like turbo or ralph or else feel that way too. "you have your game, you are a main character, you earn your rewards. what else do you need?" felix would say, genuinely not understanding how neglectful he is. and turbo, disdained by everyone but felix, cannot explain why it's so important, or give a sign how damaging it is to his self-perception and self-esteem. turbo is already shaped into someone who keeps everything to himself, and seeing that felix doesn't want and won't understand him just makes every negative emotion and every concern accumulate in him, rot and poison him until it's too late

I'm sure turbo seeked for an advise when roadblasters were plugged in, but, as always, he was treated with "you're worrying too much. it's gonna be fine. just calm down. no one is trying to take your place". the same exact place by felix's side turbo doesn't feel he belongs to anymore. the same place for which he stepped over himself to open up, made a crack in a safe shell and was met with ignorance. is this what he tried to bent himself for, to be a different person for someone who just isn't willing to understand? to expose his back to others who are waiting for him to fall?

turbo felt rejected. he was rejected. by players and by the person he trusted most. and then he lost control, let the emotions boil out. and then the games were unplugged, his rivals and his home. he felt the invisible strings tearing up, ripping pieces of him out and living a hole that cannot be filled anymore. his connection to his game, his code, his life and soul

he crawled back to the one he also called home, damaged by another crash, the damage that won't heal anymore, because his game was gone. he crawled to felix, hiding from everyone's sight, scared of seeing nothing but "we knew it would happen" in their eyes. he didn't want to prove their expectations to be right. but when he noticed felix through the cracks in the tunnels under gcs, this was exactly what he saw

"he was so jealous. he was crazy... i should've seen it coming", felix said with a glimpse of regret on his face, too small to show the loss he should've feel. instead, there was it. the disappointment — and nothing else for the long ten years of hiding. his name turned into a common noun, a scary story, a legend he never wanted to be. but still, thanks to felix and his fantasies, his inability too see further than his exes' fake façade, turbo did actually become

a legend

[lexosaurus]

stained teeth leave the aftertaste of rot (part 1)

Here is my fic for @ecto-implosion! I was soooo pumped to get an art from @antleredweirdo which you can see [right here] (plz look at it cuz im VERY normal about this art piece)

Thank you so much to @lexiepiper and @ghostlyglimmer for betaing!

Characters: Danny Fenton Tags/warnings: minor character death, gore, ghost hunger Summary: Danny was just sick. It was probably some sort of ghost flu that was making his body heavy, his stomach hollow, and his eyes burn with fatigue. There was no way he was—no, he wasn't going to think about that. He wasn't. In the darkest corner of the room, something shifted.

[read on ao3]

[part 2] [part 3]

****

Danny sat behind his desk, staring listlessly out the window with heavy, half-lidded eyes. Sun beamed down from the cloudless sky, deceptively bright against the fresh spring air. The weather would warm soon, and birds would return from their winter flight to chirp from their tiny branches, but not yet. Not this early into the season.

He tapped his finger against his chin out of time with the droning rhythm of Mr. Lancer’s lecture, the motion about all he could muster to stay awake. His elbow supported his sagging body, nearly numb from the pressure of the desk. But he couldn't find it in him to care.

When he blinked, his eyes burned with sleep. They protested when he opened them, and really, it was so tempting to let his fatigue win. All he wanted was to let his head collapse on his desk, fold his arms into a soft pillow, and rest.

But he'd promised his parents he would try to do better in school this semester. Last fall had been more than a disaster, and if he repeated that again, he would have to do credit recovery over the summer. The last thing Danny wanted—or any teen for that matter—was to do more school over the summer.

So, he forced his head to turn to face the teacher and fought each lagging, burning blink as he pretended to at least appear like he was paying attention.

Even if behind him, his friends knew that he would be copying their notes later.

It wasn't his fault he was so tired. He was probably coming down with something. He didn't think he could get human illnesses, but that must have been what was happening because there was simply no other way to explain this sort of weakness that ached deep in his bones. How despite sleeping well the past week, each day his body felt more drained than the last.

Finally, finally, the bell rang. He stuffed his unopened notebook in his bag, nearly forgetting to zip it up before he tossed it over his shoulder, and dragged his useless body and feet forward, red shoes plodding one step in front of the other as he made his way to the door.

"Man, what a drag," Tucker said, falling in step beside him.

Danny had almost forgotten that Tucker was in that class too.

"I thought Lancer was gonna go on yapping forever." Tucker nudged him with his elbow. "Thought you were gonna nap at least five times, too. Seriously, you good? You look like you’re about to fall over."

"Yeah, fine," Danny said on reflex, then grimaced, amending with, "Kind of tired, actually."

"How many times have I told you to call us if the ghosts won't let up? We're your backup, dude!"

Danny stopped before his locker, phasing his hand through his lock and popping it open. Last fall, this sort of small, public usage of his powers would have been unthinkable. But he'd long since realized that one of the benefits of being invisible in the social hierarchy of school was, well, that he was invisible.

"It wasn't even a ghost this time. I think I'm just getting a cold."

Tucker leaned against a scratched red locker, folding his arms and pulling out his brick-like phone. One of those cases that doubled as an external battery, he'd said. To Danny, it just looked like one of Skulker's projectiles.

"You can get colds?" Tucker scrolled through what Danny could only assume was one of the many encrypted files he'd stolen from Vlad on halfa biology.

"Well, I don't know what else to call this."

"I do." Tucker clicked his phone off. "It's called wearing yourself out! Honestly, Danny, call us every once in a while."

Well, Danny couldn't exactly blame Tucker for not believing him about the ghosts actually letting him sleep for once. He tried rubbing the weariness from his eyes and grumbled, "Fine."

"I mean, seriously. I get that we can't fly or anything, but Sam and I are great with a gun. You know this."

"Yeah, I know."

"What are we mad at Danny about?" A voice piped up behind him.

Danny slammed his locker shut. "Nothing!"

"The usual," Tucker answered.

"Oh." Sam popped out beside him, slugging her ratty purple spider bag over a cropped black band hoodie. She tilted her head, and black hair fell onto her shoulders. "You didn't call us for backup again? Seriously?"

"No!"

Tucker ignored him, pushing himself off the locker to tap Sam's shoulder. "And get this! This idiot tried to tell me he's getting a cold."

"That's a bad lie, even for you."

"I'm not lying! I didn't fight a single ghost last night!" His protest was slightly louder than he'd intended it to be, and he could see the awkward glances from his classmates beside him, their judgment so loud he could almost hear them thinking about what a lame weirdo he was.

Ancients, this was really not a good day.

He lowered his voice. "Seriously, guys, I'm just tired. That's all. I've been feeling this way all week."

Sam and Tucker exchanged an agonizingly long glance.

"Really," he insisted.

Then, surprisingly, Sam was the first to break the silent exchange, rolling her eyes to look over at Danny. "Okay, fine. But seriously, if you have another busy night, then call us, okay? That's what we're here for."

"Sure."

"Now, come on!" Sam spun on her heel and began walking down the hall. "If we don't get to gym on time, Tetslaff is gonna make us run laps again!"

"Right behind you!" Tucker yelled, following after her.

Danny watched them from behind, his feet too heavy to try to play catch-up. There had been a blissful minute at his locker where he'd forgotten he had gym next. But, of course, that fantasy couldn't last forever, and now it was time for Dash and his cronies to pelt dodgeballs at him, or whatever other misery they'd think of.

Great, amazing. Just what the doctor ordered.

Part of him almost wished a ghost would appear out of thin air just so he'd have an excuse to skip. But, of course, the universe loved working against him.

Students passed by him in a blur, their voices twisting and swaying into a kaleidoscope of sound that evolved with each thundering footstep, each turn around the corner of another hall. His stomach panged. Not with hunger, or really with pain, but...something else. Something he couldn't quite place.

Maybe he was getting a ghostly illness? He hadn't ever heard of such a thing before, but it wasn't as though he had a plethora of ghost friends to ask questions to. Vlad certainly would never give him a heads-up about anything that would deter Danny from needing to grovel at his feet about later. 

But he did feel weird. And considering his baseline levels were already what a doctor might call both "weird" and "extremely concerning—Mrs. Fenton, how is your son even alive—" this was very likely to be something ghostly in nature. Maybe an ecto-flu.

Hopefully.

****

"Oh yeah, and why not?" The ghost sneered, his gray skin crinkling around acid-green eyes.

"Because!" Danny threw his hands up. "I've told you! You can't just start terrorizing people every time Kitty gets mad at you!"

Johnny 13 rolled his eyes in a cartoonishly exaggerated manner as if making sure Danny wouldn't miss it.

"I'm being serious. You know this."

"Yeah, yeah." Johnny folded his arms against the handlebars of his bike and leaned forward. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do? She left me, man. And she sounded really serious this time! I can't just let some punk take my girl!"

She wasn't being serious this time, Danny knew. Ghosts were nothing if not creatures of habit. Which meant, unfortunately, they were going to be having this fight and conversation again in another month.

That also meant that Danny had answered this question so many times before, he all but had a scripted response. "Maybe start by apologizing to her?"

"I can't just apologize to her for taking care of my bike! Kitty always wants to go on rides when my bike needs a bit of attention. Don't get me wrong, I love Kitty, but I love my bike too, and I godda make sure that girl is all taken care of so that Kitty and I can go on our rides across the Realms."

"Maybe, then, you can start by not calling your bike a girl."

"No way! I'm not riding a dude."

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. Ancients, this was why he needed to stick to the script. "Well, I don't know, man. Just apologize to her anyway. You know Kitty! That's really all she wants."

Johnny 13 muttered under his breath, shifting his weight on his bike. Shadow appeared from under him—a little smaller than before, now that Danny had worn him out from the fight—and began curling up his legs and around his waist. He didn't speak, and Danny wasn't really sure if he could, but somehow, Johnny always seemed to know what he was saying anyway.

"Yeah, that really hurt by the way."

It took Danny a second to realize that Johnny was talking to him.

"You nailed my back with your stupid ice spikes."

"Well, you started terrorizing the public!" Danny shot back.

"Yeah, but I didn't try to stab anyone. Unlike you, Mr. Hero Shtick over there."

"Unleashing Shadow on a group of middle schoolers almost counts as the same thing."

Johnny raised a brow at him. "Middle schoolers? They can take it."

"Whatever!" Danny snapped. It was useless to try to argue with Johnny about what constituted a public nuisance anyway. "I didn't even hit you that hard."

"Yeah, you did." Johnny swiped a hand behind his shoulder and hissed. "Ugh—I'm fucking bleeding! You got through the leather and everything, asshole!"

Shadow made a throaty, warbling sound from beside him.

"Yeah, I know!" Johnny nodded furiously, apparently agreeing.

Shadow warbled again, and Johnny laughed sardonically in return.

Danny sighed, not knowing nor caring about whatever insult Shadow had just slung at him. He floated closer to Johnny, his tail lazily flicking under him. "Come on, let me see that."

"No way!" Johnny leaned away from Danny's outstretched arm.

They'd played this song and dance too many times before for Danny to back down now. "If you let me patch you up and go to the portal willingly, I won't suck you into the thermos. Then you'll have all day to find Kitty—who's probably in Ember's lair—and you can apologize to her and she'll instantly forgive you and then you two can go ride on your bikes into the sunset like every cheesy movie from the seventies. Doesn't that sound great?"

Johnny frowned, his blonde brows pinching together, and eyed Danny suspiciously.

But Danny meant it. He truly did. More than anything, he just wanted Johnny 13 and Shadow to go back to the Zone.

It was another win for Danny. He swooped behind Johnny and prepped some ecto-ice under his skin. He’d discovered that not only did the frost act as an adhesive to stop minor bleeding, but that other ghosts could slowly absorb the ecto-energy to speed up their own healing processes.

But then, he caught sight of Johnny's shoulder.

And froze.

It wasn't that it was a horrendous, gruesome mess that had Danny wondering how Johnny was still standing. In fact, there was hardly anything there at all compared to what Danny was used to seeing on himself. The leather had torn where an ice spike had hit him, and a small trickle of ectoplasm was leaking through.

But despite having seen the slow trickle of ectoplasm from scrapes and gashes a hundred times before, Danny still lurched back.

Because something was wrong.

The ectoplasm didn't look like ectoplasm anymore. It sparkled like a jewel and glittered like a mound of sugary syrup. It wasn't just ectoplasm, it looked...

It looked...

"Kid?" Johnny's voice snapped him out of his head.

Danny started, flushing as he realized in embarrassment, he'd begun to flair his aura.

Jesus, what the hell was that about? Maybe he really was under some sort of ghost cold or something.

"Sorry," he managed to say, averting his gaze and reaching out his cringing arm to Johnny's shoulder.

Something dark flickered at the edge of his vision. It must have been his imagination, though, because when his paranoid eyes snapped over to it, nothing was there.

"You don't have to fight the fucking ectoplasm back into my body, you know."

"I know," Danny grumbled. He felt like some toddler ghost who couldn't control its urge to establish dominance. "Sorry, I think I'm getting sick or something."

"Sure you are, kid."

Somehow, he managed to touch the wound—just barely—where he wasted not even a nanosecond before his ecto-ice was on his fingertips, coating Johnny's skin in a frost that would have given frostbite to a normal human, but to a ghost, was little more than putting a cool bandage over the wound.

"Thanks." Johnny 13 leaned away, rolling his neck.

"Don't mess it up."

"Yeah, yeah. I know the drill."

Oh no, did they have a drill?

Danny tried to avoid looking at the lingering ectoplasm on Johnny's back. "Okay, you're all good now so just go to Kitty, please? Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars."

"Sure thing, ghost brat!" Then, Johnny's expression shifted so quickly that Danny almost wondered if they were about to start brawling again. "By the way, you seriously need to recharge."

Now it was Danny's turn to roll his eyes. "Oh, jeez, recharging? I never thought of that!" He directed some ectoplasm into his eyes to make them glow brighter, snapping, "When the hell is a guy supposed to sleep when you all keep coming into Amity?"

"No, not that kind of—ah, forget it." Johnny waved him off. "You'll figure it out soon enough, anyway. Either that, or I won't have to worry about you anymore. Which, not that I'm wishing for your demise, but having you out of my way would be kinda nice."

"Not happening."

They stared at each other. Johnny, with his bemused expression, and Danny, with arms crossed and aura glistening in warning. Around the corner, sounds of children, blissfully unaware of the two ghosts in the alley, laughed as they played in the small park.

Yeah, like hell was Danny ever going to let these morons cause mayhem and disrupt innocent lives like that.

Johnny 13 was the first to break it, shrugging in that lazy way that Danny hated so much. "Well, have fun with your illness then. See ya!"

The motorcycle revving was never not obnoxious. A cloud of green ecto-smoke pillowed around them, following Johnny as he disappeared in the direction of Fentonworks.

Danny didn't follow him. Partly because he knew Johnny wasn't stupid enough to stick around. But also partly because his feet had frozen to the ground. The green motorcycle smoke was surrounding him, and he couldn't move. He didn't want to move.

It was simply too intoxicating.

When the smoke cleared and he couldn't feel any traces of ecto-activity around him, Danny finally let out a long, slow breath, his muscles releasing as he did. At his sides, his hands trembled.

But why?

That interaction was one he'd had a dozen times before. Why was he so rattled now?

What the hell had happened to him?

He must have been missing something, because when he replayed the events in his head, for a moment there, Johnny's ectoplasm...it had looked...he'd wanted to...

No.

No.

That wasn't right. No. He was misremembering it. He was sick. No. Something was off. He wasn't thinking clearly. He was a good person, he wasn't some freak who would—no, that was sick. He was just being paranoid.

He clenched his hands into fists, tucking them under his elbows and hugging his torso because he just needed to calm down. He just wasn't feeling right. He was tired.

His stomach felt empty. He must have been hungry too. Yeah, that must have been it.

But...he didn't feel hungry. Or, did he?

His body was too out of whack right now.

He needed to go home. Sleep. Yeah, that sounded good.

Sleep always had a way of fixing everything.

****

Danny lay in his bed, his stomach hollow despite the fact that he’d just eaten dinner. When he stared at the ceiling, a slight green glow reflected in the air above him.

Odd. His eyes normally never glowed in his human form unless he was upset or angry.

In the corners of the room, the shadows shifted.

He was afraid to look.

The tips of his fingers tingled.

Something was happening to him. Something that every time he tried to think about it, his brain slammed the gates shut.

So he didn't think. He kept clenching his fists. He refused to look at the shadows. He didn't acknowledge the emptiness in his stomach. He stared up, gazing past the green air to the glow-in-the-dark constellations on his ceiling. He breathed.

And breathed.

Up, down. Rest. Up, down. Rest.

For some reason, it was enough to distract him.

Perhaps, that was because breathing was human.

****

part 2 >

[akutasoda]

hello!! 🐊anon here! I'm greatly excited to see the requests are finally open!! I've waited for this moment since december jiji, can I request bsd men (you can choose them but pls add ranpo and grandpa fukuzawa) with a child!fem! Reader (platonic obv) who's like Lucy from Elfen Lied? I've just re-watched the anime but I didn't remember it so bloody O_o" anyways, if you dont know about her, i quickly explain it to you, she is not human she is a diclonius, this race has vectors, which are invisible and intangible weapons and have the shape of arms with incredible physical strength, although they only reach 2 meters. Female diclonius have pink hair with 2 little horns on each side of their head, while males... They are bald and ugly lol 😭. That would be my 'quick' explanation, ofc you can ignore the blood here blood there part, but i'd like it more if you at least describe her as 'dangerous'.

At the end of the day, Reader is not a villain, just a misunderstood girl who has been through a lot, she just wants a hug and to cry in someone's arms :c. Ah i forgot, angst with some fluff if u want :3 you can ignore this if you consider it out of the rules!! Its fine for me i have more ideas to share!! Have a nuce day ill be waiting patiently, take your time and takd care of yourself!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

childhood misunderstandings

synopsis - maybe you really were just a misunderstood child

includes - ranpo, fukuzawa, sigma, oda - all platonic!

warnings - fem!child!reader, angst to comfort, fluff, mentions of blood and violence, wc - 1k

a/n: hii! sorry this took so long but hope you're having a nice day! take care of yourself aswell <3

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪while ranpo may be outgoing, he doesn't really use that to form many relationships with the people he talks to. however he may realise how much fukuzawa's care has affected him when he finds you.

↪he is by no means an idiot, and so he can immediately understand that you aren't as dangerous as everyone made you out to be. some people really just have to do what they can to survive and so for you that meant you perhaps had to hurt some people.

↪he had no issue with offering to take you in just like fukuzawa did for him - he knew fukuzawa also wouldn't have an issue. mainly because he also knew that not many would have the same confidence to turn a blind eye and understand your situation.

↪he always thought your pink hair reminded him of the kind of pink that was on sweet wrappers - he also thought your little ears on the side of your head were adorable.

↪your combative side to your ability mattered very little to him. sure it was pretty cool and very dangerous in close quarters but he never really cared about what other people's abilities were. most times.

↪ranpo can be rather expressing, more often with people closer to him and it's not really physical contact. but he could sympathise with your situation and understand that one simple comforting hug could open a floodgate.

↪and when he does give you the biggest hug you'd ever receive, you really couldn't help but feel a sense of home in his arms (his hugs are the perfect mix of a comforting weight that doesn't feel overbearing)

yukichi fukuzawa ★↷

↪fukuzawa was no stranger to finding troubled children and taking them under his care even if a few were literal criminals - some may say he had that fatherly instinct. so when he found you in a mess of blood he wouldn't think twice.

↪of course he couldn't completely ignore the fact that he did find you in a rather concerning display of blood that was most definitely not yours, as much as he would like to. however he could happily tell himself that people always had some reason for doing what they did.

↪he thought your appearance, because of you ability, was quite lovely. your pink hair rather sweet and the small little ears on the side of your head really made him melt.

↪because of the fact that his ability helped others, that eventually extended to you. in turn making your vectors that much more controllable and therefore stronger. he could agree that your ability's more combative side was dangerous but he wanted to refrain you from using it in such ways.

↪the first time he ever gave you a hug you cried immediately. he was the first person to realise how you weren't dangerous for villainous reasons - when you realised this you grew that much more attached to him.

↪ fukuzawa practically radiates a maternal instinct and he has no problem in helping troubled children. as a result he has no problem when they view him as the father figure they might so desperately need.

sigma ★↷

↪sigma has barely lived his life. he was created 3 years ago and ever since he's been serving duties for the oda and running the sky casino. therefore, he was left with very little time to do anything else.

↪he wasn't quite as desensitized as his colleagues and so when he found you, he panicked quite a bit. the last thing he'd expect to see would be the sight of a young child surrounded by blood from what he could only assume was someone else's.

↪ although, if there was one thing that he had in common with you would be the search for a home - he barely had a past and you had a past full of unfortunate experiences. you both just wanted somewhere to be safe and feel comfort.

↪your ability with your vectors did make him wary at first, mainly because he couldn't see them. but he thought your pink hair and little ears were beautiful and unique.

↪sigma isn't exactly the most forward with any kinds of physical expression. he has probably never received a hug in his life but he would try his hardest to give you that comfort he never had. a home for the both of you.

sakunosuke oda ★↷

↪it was certainly no secret that oda loved kids - more specifically loved taking after them. even after a long day's work there's nothing more he'd like to do than visit the orphans he regularly visits. but he'd never really adopted one of his own.

↪but that all changed when he met you. finding you in a mess of blood that vaguely reminded him of how he met a certain brunette, but this time it wasn't your own. he could immediately sympathise with your situation despite probably not being in a similar one.

↪he probably had the mafia to thank for his desensitisation to anything violent and so you being classed as 'dangerous' didn't mean anything to him. to him you were a child. a child in need of proper care.

↪your pink hair and small ears were loved by the orphans that he eventually introduced you to when he couldn't let you tag alongside him - he also thought they were quite adorable.

↪your ability was the reason you were seen as 'dangerous' but he didn't care. as long as you learnt to utilise the vectors and have complete control, he wouldn't mind - he would also gladly help you learn how to control them if need be.

↪oda would be quite happy to give you a very much needed hug. if you really needed somewhere to know that you were safe and that nothing bad would happen, his arms were the perfect place.

[natasha-in-space]

I just saw your post about Zen with a disabled MC, now I can ask you to do the same but this time is MC who has an invisible disability, you can choose what invisible disability is that

Sure thing! I decided to go with two different options here :)

: ̗̀➛ It will take Zen some time to educate himself and fully come to terms with all the nuances of chronic pain or fatigue if you're someone who is dealing with it in their daily life. Though I don't think he is completely unaware of it either. As I'm sure I've stated before, he definitely has disabled fans with whom he has interacted before. It's pretty reasonable to assume that at least a few fans with chronic pain and/or fatigue would approach him or send him their letters of appreciation, detailing their lives to him.

But he will be upset for you.

The way you react to it is entirely up to you, but I do think he will go through a phase of accidentally smothering you with his worry for your well-being. Telling you to rest when you say you're fine, doing easy tasks for you that you can perfectly do by yourself, and constantly asking if you're experiencing a flare-up or not. He has good intentions. He really does. Zen truly does view you as such an admirable and strong-willed person, but it simply breaks his heart to think of you struggling with anything by yourself when you already have such a difficult battle to endure almost every day.

You will most definitely have to share many sincere conversations with him about the topic. Set clear boundaries and educate him on the specific needs you do have. It won't be picture-perfect from the get-go, but Zen loves you to the moon and back. If you thought he was hardworking before, wait until you see all the work and commitment he puts into your relationship.

With time, you two will work out almost everything, even the smallest of details in your routines. He understands what you require during a flare-up. He knows when to leave you alone and when you'd rather have him hold your hand and coo into your hair loving words of reassurance, placing kisses to the crown of your head. And he ensures that you always have all the medication you may need in easy access.

Zen learns to let you make all the decisions you need, and you learn to rely on him whenever you want.

: ̗̀➛ And if you have a chronic mental illness, it's not much easier. People often undermine just how much your mental health can affect every single aspect of your life. I think Zen may be a bit less knowledgeable here. You're going to have to educate him on your disability, and how it affects you specifically. But despite being a bit clueless, Zen is not disrespectful by any means.

He will listen to you to talk without interruption, his hands clutched together on his knees, and his eyes completely focused on you. Knowing how much you're struggling will make his heart ache for you. Especially hearing jusy how hard it can be get basic respect from people when your disability isn't immediately noticed by human eyes. You can count on him to place a gentle hand on your shoulder and promise to always be there for you when you need him.

It's not going to be simple. And both of you will face challenges navigating your relationship. Zen will especially struggle with communication in this instance. Much like him taking on a role of a caretaker as I wrote prior, he will end up making the same mistake here. Only this time, it'll be him neglecting his own emotional needs and being hypersensitive to your mood changes throughout the day. He simply doesn't want to worry you or to cause you any more stress... Especially when you are dealing with a depressive episode, for exactly. Communication is something you two are going to have to work at one step at a time.

But Zen is nothing but stubborn. And he's very much stubborn about his love for you. When he was considering giving up on himself, you have been there for him and believed in him like no one else did. He is determined to demonstrate the same level of dedication to you, if not even more so. No matter what hurdles you two face, he will always be there to hold you tight and remind you just how much he loves you, at the end of the day.

I also kind of think that you dealing with a chronic mental illness will increase his awareness of the topic of mental health as a whole. His fans will probably see him donating to mental health charities and research, promoting mental health awareness in Korea, and advocating for the visibility of chronic mental health disabilities.

[mechanoize]

First of all, I love your most recent post, he looks so elegant

Second of all, I am very much intrigued, and would enjoy a ramble, if you are up to it :)

copy pasted from my other ask.. :P

BUT.. so basically what I had in mind was…

(big fat big ramble incoming…)

prowl is a sorta crime boss,, big guy, big name, big money yk. and so there’s this big ol’ masquerade getting hosted… not by him, he doesn’t care for them, but in his name. whole buncha other big name guys are there too, ‘nd OUUUU jazz is an enforcer who specializes in undercover work. he recently got transferred to praxus yk. and this is his first real dangerous assignment.

hes done lotsa research, he’s a smart guy. and so they set it up so he’s working as a lead singer for a little live music/entertainment sector of the masquerade. he was meant to be in the least compromising position, whereas Mirage was actively invisible and snooping around the premises, and Tracks was meant to act as a distraction more than anything, keep the attention more so on her. (I need to design her so bad for this,, and ‘raj :P )

but worst comes to worst, Jazz ends up being a little bit TOO good at his job and many mecha are attracted to the music he and others are providing. causes complications, of course, but jazz is quick to reassure they’ll be fine. and they can’t really withdraw, because Jazz is too far cemented into the scene at that point.

the night draws to a close and there’s a sort of (probably traditional) dance that Prowl is kinda forced into. Not really, there isn’t many people who can force him to do anything, but a little but of persuasion from bluestreak and he crumbled. He didn’t have anyone TO dance with, and though not an inherently romantic performance, it’s still.. demeaning, in his eyes. Too much so to do it with anyone familiar.

so he chooses a partner at random, and as per protocol, many if not all the mechanisms present at least loosely knew the choreography. jazzs commlink is on fire, they think oh crap, our guys cooked. we didn’t know OR cover this. but surprise,, Jazz loves culture, loves learning. he loves dancing, music and all that stuff, and though he didn’t learn it to benefit his mission, he knew it. HOORAY!

so that’s settled, and it goes better than anyone (mainly prowl) could have imagined.

this is getting too long but Prowl is also smart. He actually is very much aware of Jazz and Track’s position, and he’s ran into his cities law enforcement many a time. he’s started threatening, yk, trying to shake them off. not because Prowl is hiding some big twisted secret, but because their enforcers are being met with increasingly harsher repercussions when caught within his vicinity. hes trying to spare them the trouble. they’ve also never even gotten close to uncovering anything beneath prowls jurisdiction so 😭 but they keep trying. And prowl is genuinely baffled that they keep sending their agents directly into danger, and this was their dumbest idea to date.

Because Prowl had known from the moment they stepped ped in the venue, and the bots present were not all dumb. And to be uncovered would result in things that not even he could stop, lest he shatter his own reputation. And that is something he’s unwilling to do; he has mechanisms of his own to protect.

so Prowls actions are all calculated, and he sorta has an idea to fake a liking towards Jazz and book him again, the following orn. Implications get twisted, yeah, but he just wants to speak to him one on one so he can relay a message to his superiors, tell them to back off cus though he is merciful many others are not.

Jazz sees this as an opportunity. and with little input, he accepts. of course, immediately reprimanded, but not discouraged. the mechs overseeing his mission see this as a needed win. a chance to finally crack down on the crime empires or whatever, starting at the heart of it all, Prowl.

ILL CUT IT SHORT NOW but !!! Prowl makes Jazz aware of it all, Jazz is like holy moly. And at that point Jazz is too involved for Prowl to send him on his way and forget so he sorta keeps an eye on him, something Jazz is more than aware of.

yaddah yaddah more interaction that i do have ideas for but are not major enough to send here 😭

+ a bonus wip sketch! very messy rn but I’ll actually render this one when i get the time LMFAO

[theredofoctober]

MANNA FIC— CHAPTER ONE: PAPRIKA

Dark!Hannibal Lecter x Reader x Dark!Will Graham fic, TW for eating disorders, noncon, abuse, drugging, mild Daddy kink (it'll all make sense).

Chronologically this is the first chapter in the series.

Keep reading after the cut

Later, when you reflect on your first meeting with Dr. Hannibal Lecter, you will marvel at the Sybilan apprehension that had wreathed the merest detail of that night: the oppressive colours of his office, grey and vermillion from window to wall, the very choice to have you see him at an evening appointment, penning you in by way of the darkness.

Yet, as you sit across from Hannibal in a low leather chair, you contain only a spiteful rancour, one foot jouncing testily as the doctor attempts to extract answers from you beyond a penchant for grudging monosyllables.

“I understand that you have seen therapists in the past,” he says, in a neutral tone.

You stare at the curtains in their dissected oblongs of red and ash, like bloodied teeth against the wall: anything but meet the eyes that seem to have already picked you apart in the mere minutes you have been before him.

“Yeah,” you mutter. “A couple of times. CBT stuff. I hated it. Doesn’t work for me.”

Dr. Lecter offers you a smile so imperceptible that he might not have moved at all.

“Understandable. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a better fit for anxiety and negative thinking— it has its place, but for patients with deeper trauma, their illness may prove too complex for it to be effective. Dialectical behavioural therapy would perhaps be more suitable, in your case.”

Shrugging curtly, you do not ask him to elaborate. There is no therapy in the book that you would warm to; you had set out tonight only to put an end to familial begging, in its absence of dignity.

You resent the nakedness of your secrets before this stranger, before anyone, your suffering made public domain. Like a brow-beaten captive, you are moved to defend your self abuse against all those who seek to extract it from you.

Hannibal watches you with a dry intensity, his gaze rarely straying from your face. He is a lean, polished figure in an impeccable red check suit, dark hair swept back from a face of meticulous and rather interesting beauty.

His brows are low, almost invisible, his eyes small, and as dark as tree flux, the nose—straight, and as debonair as the rest of him—leading down from two furrows that suggest an earnest and curious whimsy.

His air, thus far, has been both tactful and polite, unperturbed by your close-mouthed unwillingness to yield to quizzing in even the most inoffensive line. You should like him, you suppose, yet you have already branded him an enemy.

He is a man; how could you ever be expected to open up to him?

“How long have you struggled with your eating disorder?” asks Hannibal.

You cross your arms over your chest, barring him out, a theological defence against the vampire of such dreaded questioning.

“You’ve read my records. You already know.”

“Certainly, but I would like to hear your experience in your own words. Such documents may represent only the most objective truths, and reveal very little of you, or what you are feeling at any given moment. Besides, they are as fallible as the professionals that create them. If there are any inaccuracies, your answers will bring them to light.”

The implication that you may share, with him, an honesty that you have refused previous therapists bears a quiet arrogance that might have won you over, were you not set so resolutely in your hatred.

“Fine,” you say. “I’ve had it since I was a kid.”

‘IT’; the word may as well be in baleful capitals, the introduction to some eponymous beast. You will give your ailment no other name aloud, have never done so, except in clandestine internet entry, forcing the thorn further beneath the nail.

Dr. Lecter digests your simple answer, finding flavour in its enigma.

“You have no intentions of recovery without intervention. What served you in your formative years, you will continue to savour.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get better,” you retort. “It’ll always be there, so what’s the point?”

The question had shaken previous professionals into stumbling objection; not so Hannibal Lecter, whose ambiguous calm nevertheless bears the same imperceptible threat as the night.

“Would you say the same to an alcoholic?” he asks. “Many live out their lives through a succession of losses and victories, and likewise, many emerge fulfilled and content in having struck out on the path of self-betterment. Yet, by your logic, you would condemn them all in their relationship to illness.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” you object; your foot bounces so violently over the arm of the chair that Hannibal glances at it, his focus unbalanced by the distraction. “It’s different for me, okay?”

“In what regard? What prevents you from regarding your own struggles with the same grace?”

“It’s... it's not the same. I don't want to talk about it.”

Panic makes you feel almost buoyant in the room, a kite with your string cut, to be devoured by the wind.

“You have not yet reached the point that recovery seems possible, or even desirable to you,” says Hannibal, across your distress. “That is quite normal. For many individuals with eating disorders, recovery can take up to ten years to achieve— a long and difficult road, yet while there is no permanent cure, there is still reward in that destination.”

This you have heard before, in other iterations; he loses you a little, a mistake that he seems to catch in your reply.

“You don’t understand.”

“If you mean that I cannot directly empathise, that is true,” says Dr. Lecter. “I do not share your struggles. Food is a great pleasure to me. Still, I comprehend the crux of your illness— that you once seized a handhold in a rock when you were falling, and still refuse to let it go when there is earth to hold you.”

You continue to jiggle your shoe in a pattern of agitation.

“You’ll never be able to hold me.”

Hannibal leans forward and places a hand upon your foot, guiding it soundly still again.

“That remains to be seen.”

Your breath peters in your throat. It apalls you that he has touched you without asking, that his hand—so warm through the leather of your sneaker—makes you imagine it within the wet turncoat of your cunt.

Suddenly you’re standing from your seat without acknowledging the motion that led you there, like a frame scratched from an old tape.

“I’m leaving,” you say, abruptly. “I’m sorry. This just isn’t for me.”

Hannibal looks up at you, and the still, smooth planes of his features alarm you in their lack of urgency.

“Please,” he says. “Sit down. You will not be leaving here today.”

He is so slim and unassuming in his tailored suit that you feel yourself the red-capped girl of fairy tale, entering an elder’s cabin to the appetites of a wolf.

“What are you talking about?” you whisper.

Dr. Lecter leans forward, speaking with a low and graceful regret.

“I must inform you that your parents have signed a written agreement for you to enter inpatient care, overseen by myself and a colleague.”

Betrayal breaks across you in a death bed sweat: how could they? What have they done?

“No!” you say. “You're lying.”

Dr. Lecter pats a folder resting on the arm of his chair.

“I would be willing to show you the paperwork, if you insist upon it.”

“I don’t care,” you say, your voice a shrill of indignation. “They can’t just send me away without my permission! It’s illegal!”

“As guardians to a vulnerable adult, it is entirely so.”

You don’t believe him, although your parents evidently did, pressed by their earnest desperation to reverse the agonies of time.

“Whatever,” you say, coldly. “I’m not staying.”

Hannibal tilts his head at an angle of frosty amusement, and suddenly you grasp that this is no ordinary intervention, but incarceration, for reasons yet unknown.

Terror snarls through you like thunder, and you run for the door, wrenching at the handle to find it locked against you.

“What the fuck?” you cry, though you had known in your most basic, animal senses that this man—this room—would be your undoing.

Dr. Lecter has gotten up from his seat and is striding towards you, seizing your arms at the wrists, as firmly as a father; you turn your head in a feral reflex and attempt to bite him, stalled by the wool of his jacket in your teeth. He turns your writhing figure towards him, your skirt bunched up to your waist in the struggle, his palm a blacksmith’s tool on your bare skin, a scarring heat.

His expression is scarcely altered by the struggle, his breathing slow, even. You are no threat to him; he has surely restrained patients like this before, a necessary training.

You will not go quietly, as perhaps others have, before you. You bring your knee into his groin until you hear him grunt in the desired pain, but he does not lose his grip upon you, only drives you back against the door, his eyes churning with a wild satisfaction.

“You will learn not to disobey, little one,” he says, and before you can absorb the threat there is a needle at your neck, and chemical night.

You half-wake some hours later to the voices of two men, one of them Hannibal, the other unfamiliar, speaking in a curt and cautious rhythm.

“This is her?” asks the unknown man— through fluttering eyelids you see him, all rumpled hair and scowling good looks, an image from some obscure Brontë novel. “The patient you talked about on the phone? What have you given her? She looks out of it.”

“A mild sedative,” Hannibal replies, “with some additional compounds. It’s alright, Will. She will revive soon, likely in a confused state. This will pass.”

Will hangs back, his mouth an angle of uncertainty.

“Forgive me, Dr. Lecter, but I’m a little confused as to what I’m doing here.”

“Your role will be paramount to the healing process,” says Hannibal, touching a hand to his colleague’s flannel sleeve with familiar tenderness. “Together, we will each be whatever our subject requires from one moment to the next. A healer, a father, a lover, a friend—”

“All while crossing the boundaries of what could be considered valid treatment into an inappropriate relationship,” Will cuts in, sharply. “Surely that’s only going to make things worse.”

Dr. Lecter approaches you, adjusting a pillow behind your head; you are too out of it to object, unsure whether it is a chair or a bed you occupy in your prone state.

“What is appropriate is not always the most effective method of healing,” says Hannibal. “This patient requires complex support. Decisions to be made for her that other professionals would not be comfortable making.”

Will shakes his head, grimly amused.

“And you are.”

“Certainly. Over the years I have seen results from the most unorthodox approaches. I have an interest in observing how she will respond to mine.”

You watch the two men exchange glances, and blearily wonder if they are merely friends, or something more.

“Dr. Lecter, I have no idea how to connect with her,” says Will. “And frankly the idea of trying isn’t something I’m particularly enthusiastic about.”

“Your discinclination to be involved may work to her benefit,” says Hannibal, smoothly. “While my part is to provide gentle guidance and compassion, you will offer the firm hand required to leash the chaos of her disturbed mind and behaviours.”

Will scoffs in disbelief.

“The good cop, bad cop routine? That seems a little obvious for you, doctor.”

“And yet it may be precisely what she craves. Stability. Discipline.”

At this, there is a certain change in the air of the room; one day, you will know it as hunger, so many appetites contained between two men.

“Well, which one is going to come first?” asks Will, relenting. “Stability, or discipline?”

“When she is fully awake, we will know," say Hannibal. "And we will deliver it.”

[idyllic-affections]

invisible disability? it's rather visible to me.

summary. baizhu knows the struggle of maintaining a job while being chronically ill; as such, he is willing to offer an accommodating work environment for others who struggle like he does.

trigger & content warnings. angst (at first... it gets better i swear /lh), ableism, etc.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort. baizhu & chronically ill!teen!reader, qiqi & reader. 1.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. he's out of nonplayable prison ygs!!!!! can't wait to see his character stories for..... personal reasons..... anyways i want to specify that i am chronically ill. i am constantly fighting with my genetics to be healthy, its ridiculous LMAO

imagine baizhu employing a chronically ill, visionless teenager.

baizhu can easily say he's known their family for a long time, so he of course knows that they have trouble keeping a job. they often mention little things like that about their life during their visits with him. never once has he found anything wrong with them; they're always in virtually perfect health.

that doesn't change the fact that they're very clearly struggling. he's observed just how much they overexert themselves in a desperate attempt to actually keep a stable job, simply to help support their family, but all the exertion only seems to make their invisible issues worse.

also... they've been in his care for heat stroke more than once in liyue's warmer seasons. the heat is just far too much for their body to handle if they aren't careful.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

Their voice was so quiet and whispery that if Baizhu hadn't been attuned closely to them at that moment, he might have missed it. They half wished that he would have. Based on the brief glance he spared in their direction, they knew he was listening. Oh well.

"I mean... really. This is ridiculous," they murmured, knees drawn up against their chest. "Everyone thinks I'm just dramatic. I'm not. I do fine for the most part, but then it just... gets bad for no reason at all... how am I in perfect health?"

By that point in their rant, his undivided attention was on them. Though his gaze was thoughtful, musing, they interpreted it differently and winced slightly.

"...Sorry. I really shouldn't be complaining like this in front of someone who's chronically ill."

"No, it's quite alright. You shouldn't minimize your pain. Your struggles are as valid as mine. I find your trust, your ability to confide in me, quite endearing, even," he reassured, unbothered, to which their shoulders seemed to lose some of the tension they harbored. "In fact... I've been thinking about this for quite some time now. Chronic illness may show itself in a variety of forms. Sometimes it may show itself in the form of your symptoms. Would you like to learn how to manage your energy better?"

the liyuean doctor basically hired them right then and there, but they don't really realize that for the first few weeks.

in the beginning, they're just... spending time at bubu pharmacy, learning how baizhu manages his own limited energy and applying those techniques to their own life (it works shockingly well). that's all!

it slowly turns into them helping out where they can—packaging herbs, learning what exactly each one of them does, delivering prescriptions to those who cannot physically get the medicines themselves... even when people start to question if they've found a new job, they remain oblivious.

it's one day while helping mince herbs that they realize they're basically a junior herbalist.

A soft hiss left their lips when the knife nicked the pad of their finger. They were quick to put pressure on the little cut, pulling their hand away from the countertop to prevent any blood from dripping onto it.

"It's best to get rid of those herbs," Baizhu reminded, stepping away from his own work to gently bandage their wound.

A small pout graced their lips. "I didn't get any blood on them, though..."

Amusement and the vaguest hint of fondness twinkled in his gaze. "We don't know that for certain, do we, now?"

"...Wait a minute." Their eyes narrowed suspicously at him, drawing their freshly-dressed hand back once he was done. "This isn't about energy management anymore, is it? Have I been... I've been working here this entire time. These tasks are very employee-like."

"Come, now. Don't look at me like that. You were looking for a stable job, and I am more than willing to accomodate your needs."

"You could've at least said something to me. I've been doing free labor all this time, and as a child, no less! Hmm... now, I do believe that is illegal in this part of Teyvat~ It'd be shame to get Ms. Yanfei involved~"

in the spirit teaching them to manage their energy, he often takes them on house calls with him, starting off to just homes in liyue harbor and later to homes all the way in qingce village. it's a good way for them to gain stamina and get a better understanding of their job.

baizhu has a tendency to smile through his own pain for the sake of his patients.

this habit slipped by unchecked until [name] came around.

whenever they feel like he isn't doing very well, they'll take over for him regardless of what he has to say about it.

herbalist gui is very thankful for them—baizhu hardly ever listened to him, but he does take better care of himself for [name]'s sake.

(he swears that baizhu is oddly parental when it comes to them, but he wouldn't dare mention the doctor's blatant affections to his face.)

"welcome to bubu pharmacy," they'd greet with a kind smile after unceremoniously shoving baizhu towards the back of the pharmacy where he could rest undisturbed, "unfortunately, dr. baizhu is currently out of commission, but herbalist gui and i would be glad to take care of anything you may need."

sometimes changsheng can be seen wrapped around their arm! usually it's their dominant arm, which is terribly inconveniencing. still, it would be an honor to be Chosen™ by their loved one's pet... if only she wasn't so mean to them.

"Hmph. You're terrible at cutting herbs. It pains me just to watch."

"Okay? Go back to Dr. Baizhu then? I'm not holding you hostage, Changsheng. You came to me," they huffed. "Also... maybe I'd be able to cut better if you weren't strangling my dominant arm. Just saying."

It's a few moments later that they're sulking, murmuring curses as Baizhu disinfected their fresh snake bite. Changsheng completely neglected to apologize until Baizhu had prompted her to.

(They would complain that he found that incident a little too funny if anyone were to ask them. It really hurt, you know!)

changsheng bullies them lovingly <3 she bites them affectionately <33

(not that she'd ever say that, though. baizhu knows. he just chooses to let her believe he doesn't know.)

qiqi becomes very attached to them very quickly, i think. she'd like having a nice older sibling around and would address them as such without even thinking about it. "jiějiě," "gēgē"... she can't really tell what gender they identify closer with and doesn't remember to ask, so she tends to bounce between the two terms of address.

she has an entire page in her journal dedicated to little things about [name] that she deems to be important. she notes down things they seem to like, things they seem to dislike, their birthday, other important dates, defining features...

she also keeps important warning signs related to health episodes of their's jotted down, like how when [name] stands still a little too long, qiqi should urge them to sit for a moment because they're probably either dizzy or having vision issues, or how when their hands begin to tremble, qiqi should share a sunsettia with them.

she does miss these signs sometimes... she does her best, though! qiqi only wants to help the sweet junior herbalist that braids her hair and accompanies her on her herb-picking trips and hugs her and says "i love you, please stop this task, you might get hurt" with so much genuine affection that it often overwhelms her :(

it's rare, but sometimes, there will be a customer or patient that has little tolerance for their disability-induced weakness or slowness.

because their illness(es) is(/are) invisible, very few people take their struggles seriously.

some people take this as an excuse to verbally and even physically abuse them.

baizhu does not take kindly to people abusing his employees, especially not his chronically ill teenage employee. especially not them.

"Is there an issue I can help with?"

They didn't mind being the only one at reception during the days Herbalist Gui was out, Qiqi was herb-picking, and Baizhu was otherwise occupied. It wasn't a big deal, really.

At least... not until someone particularly impatient decided to make their job difficult.

Baizhu never took kindly to such incidents; this one was no different. Based on his tone of voice alone, it wasn't hard to guess that he was livid, golden irises alight with rage. Even Changsheng had hissed in their defense at the sight in front of her eyes.

He'd come back just in time to see them flinch away from the raised hand of some foreign adventurer.

"This one—"

"And who said I was asking you?" he scoffed, sliding behind the counter and checking them for wounds. They were shaking, he noted, gingerly supporting a fraction of their weight in case they were to collapse. "I was asking my herbalist, [Name]."

Baizhu was a man of patience and, really...

He wasn't all that confrontational. Despite that, any semblance of the supposed cowardice he harbored was gone in an instant.

His scarred fingers drew soothing shapes on their upper arm as he led them into the back of the clinic, guiding them to sit on one of the beds before their legs could give out.

"Are you alright?"

baizhu takes very good care of them after stressful encounters because he knows very well that such high-stress emotional experiences will take a toll on their body.

whenever a wealthier patient comes in, they've learned to overcharge them on purpose even if it's for the most ridiculous of ailments; oh? you say you have been sneezing quite a lot and are having a hard time breathing? no, no, it's not springtime allergies, who told you that? it's quite dire, in fact, and the treatment price will be awfully expensive... oh? you'll pay it? wonderful!

^ herbalist gui says that baizhu is a terrible influence on them sometimes.

in their defense, they get hefty bonuses every time wealthy people pay ridiculous prices for typically rather inexpensive herbs (like a certain ginger harbinger did one time! they still giggle at the memory of him paying so much for so little). the more wealthy people pay, the bigger their bonuses (fatui harbingers are very wealthy...).

simply put, they make more mora than the majority of their family put together because of this morally dubious behavior.

baizhu, gui, qiqi, and [name] are a chaotic found family but yk what? they all make it work <3

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[rainswhenyourehere]

also. if someone wants to help. (also btw hibi lore like. the most important part methinks)

how to "keep it casual" with. lets say hypothetically. if you came to a new school in seventh grade. and met a nice guy during swedish class and kinda connected with him immediately and. then you guys are like. best friends in your opinion and you guys hang out allll the time and you kind of have the biggest crush on him and. lets say. like. you love him so fucking much its borderline unhealthy? and like. then he starts sending you flirtatious gifs and texting you so. because youre in love. you send flirtatious gifs back and you guys basically call each other love and sweetheart and everything and !! you guys hold hands and he lets you listen to his music and gives you a plastic ring to match his and gives you gifts and treats and !! holds your hand btw !!!! and nearly asks you to kiss him during a truth or dare game like. implies it strongly . so then you !! decide to ask him hey. what are we. and he goes idk and you guys hve a littl etalk because yay communication !!!!! and hes like. so. i like you . like. thats out there now okay. i like you but i also like this other guy so um. idk so!! because youre in love and would wait like fifty million lifetimes you say okay ill wait for you its okay but then the romantic interactions disappear and its like . because you guys are in a trio right? theres this other guy too. so he starts maybe confiding in the other guy a littl enad you should not feel envious he can do whatever he wants its his life but . you do but youj also dont say anything so like. a year or smth passes idk and he goes. yknow what. tbh. i dont rly like you anymofre?? like i like this other guyu and i think ill always like him and ur kinda heartbroken and shit but you say its fine i was kinda over you anyways. so . that happnes and you stil l love him so fucking much but . you dont say it because youre happy he moved on and . youre probs not worth it anyways its fine and then a ruond a month later while ur eating at lunch hes like. haha can you go away for a while i want to talk abt stuff with person 3 in our trio and youre like. okay sure !!! and then you come back nd . find out he s in love or has a crush or wever on another guy. so . apparently he wouldnt love hte other guy forever but it doesnt rleally matter at least it shouldnt so you drop it its fine . enter grade eight your friend group grows and . theres these classes where you can pick and not everyone goes to the same on e right ??? so . the rest of your friend group goes to the musci class and you go to the . cooking class . which you enjoy btw!!! like!! a lot!!!! and you attend it with another classmate of ur s and boooom youre friends. wow . hooray like. currently youre probably closest to them which is craaaaazy liek. wow. but !! bcs u attned a diff class you get shut out of alll the fun things they do and you dont really feel like you belong and you also kinda feel dsicarded and not important and invisible because !!!! the guy youre in love with yes still kinda hate that !! treats you like air. so. then you ask him whats wrong right before you go on a month long trip on summer vacation without internet access. and when youj come back you find the messag eunread and !! you stressed abt this the whole summer btw. smth smth i dont even want you back i js want to know if ruining my sparkling summer was the goal /lyr ANYWYS. you . jask abt him awgain. on discord and he says that hes changed as a person and his interests have changed and this is fine btw!!! like. you totally understand yep. and then he says that youve beeen like . kinda really annoying recently and sometimes he feels like killing himself while hanging out with you so. that s nice and also !! not being with you has made his mental state like. get better a bunch so "thats just grand".

so. mmm. also by the way this is like. summer vacation after eight grade yeah?? well. just before the seventh grade summer vacation person 3 in ur trio asked you out. and you kinda dated them. even though you ddint really have feeling because they re nice the y treat you well and you had to get over him but then around like . a year later you cant really take it anymore and its not person 3s fault at all theyve been perfetct alllll around like. the most amazing human being ever but. you just cant . you keep choosing him over them and you can see its hurting them and this isnt working nahyways so . a round a yaer later you tell them hey. not your fault i was seeking approval and shit and im like. the jerk ehre but like. thank ou so much and its a whole essay and they go okay its fine but. now youve broken someones heart so . yay you and youre still not over him so . wowww good job.

back to eight grade summer vacation?? you dont really text anyone else except from cooking class friend and person 3 and you dont want to text in the group chat because hes the most active one and you really dont want to intrude his space and . now 9th grade is statrgint in 8 hours and you just saw a message from him . saying asking you to "keep it casual" so the teachers dont come after you guys or something. so . somoene tell me how to keep it casual?? like. do you just stand next to the other guysf rom the friend group?? are you . suposeced to interact with them ???? can you still eat w the guys?????? oh and . 9 th grad eis the most inmportant year academically so i also have to get good grades from everything and actuallly focus on studies so . theres that.

tut on how to keep it casual pls okay love u guys <3