#when you consider the type of masculine culture that they grew up in (the type that hunting very obviously embodies)

[saving-people-haunting-things]

It's really interesting to contrast how tumblr fandom feels about Sam and Dean versus how Jared and Jensen do. I'm not talking about their opinions as the actors, really, but their perspectives as men who are Sam and Dean's age who would've grown up in a culture similar to them. Like, so many people on tumblr are frustrated by how Sam and Dean never talk about their feelings or how they aren't open about how much they love each other, while Jared and Jensen have both said that they think that Sam and Dean talk about their feelings and show affection for each other and it's a highlight of the show. A part of me wonders how much of that is just PR talk or them projecting, and how much of it is just that their perspective is probably very different from that of the younger tumblr crowd that tends to complain about the boys being "emotionally constipated."

It kind of makes me want to show my dad a couple episodes and ask him about it, but he's already told me he won't watch it because he's still butthurt that Jensen left Smallville to be on Supernatural which apparently ruined an arc that had been set up??? Idk, yeah.

[theeternalwombtarot]

I want to talk about the normalization (especially in ethnic communities ) in baby mama culture including even those of us who have grown up sheltered or wealthy or are currently wealthy or considered celebrities (for example like skai Jackson, keke palmer, Halle Bailey, Jayda cheaves, etc.) and the types of fathers being chosen and fetishized.

A lot of girls within black and brown communities are not raised nor taught what it means to have high levels of self worth, standards, or boundaries which leads to a whole lot of us going out into the world when we’re ready to seek out romantic relationships and connections and connecting with men who are less than satisfactory, can’t fulfill our needs, can’t love us, are in a wounded masculine energy, and have generations of karmic cycles and trauma that would not benefit us if we were to invest in relationships with them or procreate with them. We are not taught that if we can’t find a husband in a man that he should not get a child out of us nor be in our energy, and/or finding a romantic partner in us. We’re not taught what fully healed and divine masculine men look like, we’re not even taught what you should do when we come across individuals in our lives who can’t love us, display dysfunctional behaviors, display abusive or toxic behaviors, etc.

I had previously made a point a long while ago about the suppression and demonization of femininity within ethnic households when it comes to raising little girls and daughters. My post was mostly surrounded around black girls as I grew up black so I have a first hand account of that experience. The type of suppression I’m talking about can fall into purity culture, the “too grown” rhetoric, the idea of raising girls and women in ways that highly encourage them to grow up and be home makers and serve and center men in their lives in self-sacrificial and codependent ways, etc. interest in romantic relationships and connections starts as early as middle school and you have a responsibility to your daughters to raise and teach them up in a way that will prepare them to be discerning and have high levels of self love and worth growing up and also prepare them for becoming and being a fully grown woman and a functional one at that.

There are way too many girls and women who don’t know their worth because they weren’t taught, way too many girls and women who don’t quite make that transition from being a teenager/a young girl into being a grown woman and operating as such, way too many girls and women who were never taught the ways of womanhood or what it meant to cultivate your femininity or carry it in a way that was conducive to them and their development (down to hygiene basics to etiquette and “game”)

And then we wonder why girls end up being baby mothers, end up in abusive relationships or attached and stuck to men who don’t really love them, don’t know their worth or don’t know who they are, and don’t know how to be women and operate as one in the world. Because they weren’t taught. You have to teach them.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

any tips would be appreciated, thanks! :)

hi, i was wondering if u could help me with writing a specific type of character? i have a character who’s a man with insecurity issues and he ends up acting weird towards the women around him (basically, he’s internalized the idea of “getting the girl makes you more of a man” without really realizing it). i want him to realize what he’s doing during the story and go thru a kind of “redemption arc” but how do i:

1. make it believable that he doesn’t realize what he’s doing/the harm he’s causing bc he grew up learning that message of toxic masculinity

2. make the “redemption arc” realistic and feel earned?

Hey there, fellow writer! Thanks so much for reaching out with such a thoughtful and complex character question. It's fantastic that you're diving into the nuances of toxic masculinity and character growth. This is a challenging but incredibly important topic to explore in fiction. Let's break this down and dive deep into crafting this character arc.

Understanding Your Character's Background

Before we get into the specifics of your questions, it's crucial to fully understand your character's background. This man's insecurity and internalized toxic masculinity didn't develop overnight. Consider factors like:

Family dynamics: What messages did he receive from his parents or guardians about masculinity and relationships?

Peer influences: How did his friends and classmates reinforce or challenge these ideas?

Media consumption: What movies, TV shows, or books shaped his view of male-female relationships?

Cultural context: How does his broader cultural background influence his beliefs about masculinity?

The more you understand about where these beliefs came from, the more believable his initial lack of self-awareness will be.

Now, let's tackle your specific questions:

Making it believable that he doesn't realize what he's doing/the harm he's causing

The key here is to show how deeply ingrained these beliefs are. Here are some strategies:

a) Normalize it in his world: Show other characters, especially male friends or family members, exhibiting similar behaviors without consequence. This reinforces the idea that it's "normal" or even expected.

b) Internal justification: When he acts in problematic ways, give him internal monologue that justifies his actions. For example, if he makes an inappropriate comment, he might think, "She'll appreciate a confident guy who speaks his mind."

c) Misinterpretation of reactions: When women react negatively to his behavior, have him misinterpret their responses. He might see discomfort as shyness or rejection as playing hard to get.

d) Positive reinforcement: Occasionally, have his behavior "work" in superficial ways. Maybe he gets a phone number or a date, reinforcing the idea that his approach is effective.

e) Backstory reveals: Gradually reveal moments from his past where these beliefs were instilled or reinforced. This could be a father figure praising him for "manning up" or friends mocking him for not being "alpha" enough. (I hate that word.)

f) Contrast with "worse" behavior: Show other characters behaving even more egregiously, making his actions seem mild in comparison.

g) Good intentions: Highlight moments where he genuinely believes he's being helpful or chivalrous, even when his actions are problematic.

h) Cognitive dissonance: When confronted with the negative impacts of his behavior, show him struggling to reconcile this with his beliefs. He might dismiss criticism as overreaction or make excuses.

2. Making the "redemption arc" realistic and feel earned

This is where the real challenge lies. A believable redemption arc for this character needs to be gradual, challenging, and multifaceted. Here's how to approach it:

a) Incremental realization: Don't have him suddenly "see the light." Instead, show small moments of doubt or discomfort with his own behavior building up over time.

b) Consequences: Let him experience real, significant consequences for his actions. This could be losing a friendship, facing professional repercussions, or a moment of clear rejection that he can't misinterpret.

c) Mentor figure: Introduce a character (could be male or female) who challenges his views in a way he can't easily dismiss. This person should be someone he respects or admires.

d) Empathy building: Create situations where he's forced to see things from a woman's perspective. This could be through a role reversal, a close female friend sharing her experiences, or even him witnessing clear harassment of someone he cares about.

e) Internal conflict: Show him struggling with his changing views. He might backslide or have moments of defensiveness as he grapples with his ingrained beliefs.

f) Active learning: Have him actively seek out information and perspectives on toxic masculinity and healthy relationships. This could involve reading, attending workshops, or having difficult conversations.

g) Apologizing and making amends: Show him genuinely apologizing to people he's hurt and taking concrete actions to make amends. This shouldn't be easy or immediately accepted.

h) Ongoing process: Make it clear that this is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Even towards the end of the story, he should still be learning and growing.

i) Paying it forward: Have him start to challenge toxic behavior in others, showing that he's internalized the lessons he's learned.

j) Redefining masculinity: Show him developing a new, healthier concept of what it means to be a man. This might involve exploring traditionally "feminine" interests or expressing vulnerability.

k) Setbacks: Include moments where he falls back into old patterns, but now recognizes and corrects himself. This shows the ongoing nature of change.

Tips for Writing This Arc Effectively:

Show, don't tell: Rather than having your character explicitly state his growth, show it through changed behavior and reactions.

Avoid the "savior" trope: Be cautious about having a woman "fix" him. While female characters can play a role in his growth, the work should ultimately come from him.

Balance sympathy and accountability: While we want readers to sympathize with your character's journey, be careful not to excuse his harmful behavior.

Use multiple perspectives: If possible, show how other characters perceive his behavior and his changes. This can provide valuable context and contrast.

Intersectionality: Consider how other aspects of his identity (race, class, sexuality, etc.) might intersect with his views on masculinity.

Research, research, research: Dive into academic and personal accounts of toxic masculinity, its impacts, and paths to change. The more you understand, the more nuanced your portrayal will be.

Sensitivity readers: Consider using sensitivity readers to ensure you're handling this delicate topic respectfully and accurately.

Micro-changes: Focus on small, specific changes in behavior and thought patterns rather than broad, sweeping transformations.

Realistic timeline: Give this arc the time it needs. Real change doesn't happen overnight, so don't rush the process.

Internal and external changes: Show both how his thoughts and his actions evolve throughout the story.

Example Arc Outline:

Introduction: Establish character's problematic behavior and beliefs.

Inciting incident: An event that first makes him question his actions, even if he dismisses it.

Rising action: Accumulation of experiences that challenge his worldview.

Turning point: A major event that forces him to confront the harm he's causing.

Crisis: Internal struggle as he grapples with changing his deeply held beliefs.

Climax: A moment where he must choose between his old ways and his evolving understanding.

Falling action: Actively working to change and make amends.

Resolution: Showing his ongoing growth and new perspective, while acknowledging the journey isn't over.

Remember, writing a character like this is a delicate balance. You want to show the reality of toxic masculinity and its impacts while also offering a path to growth and change. It's challenging, but when done well, it can be incredibly powerful and thought-provoking.

Throughout this process, it's important to treat your character with empathy while not excusing his behavior. The goal is to show that change is possible, but it requires genuine effort, self-reflection, and a willingness to challenge deeply held beliefs.

Lastly, don't forget to take care of yourself while writing this arc. Exploring topics like toxic masculinity can be emotionally taxing. Take breaks when needed, engage in self-care, and remember that by thoughtfully addressing these issues in your writing, you're contributing to important conversations about gender, relationships, and personal growth.

Happy writing, 📝💖 - Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[summerlinenss]

Continuing the discussion from Twitter about Taika possibly not being straight, I do hesitate to diagnose strangers with 'queer' because it's usually done by utalising stereotypes (like just him being flamboyant or the latest 'evidence' of him being at a Paris Hilton concert, he seems to go to pretty much everything.)

Without getting too parasocial, the everyone's a bit queer quote from before Thor 4 seemed different though, almost like a soft launch? The dumb backlash was unfortunately familiar to me, as someone who poked her head out of the closet, only to be met with a resounding 'we don't want you'. If he was trying to do that, I dont blame him for not trying since, I certainly havent.

Like i don't think he's a closeted gay, theres no indication that his romantic relationships with women havent been real, but he is from a generation that flat out didnt think bisexuality was a real thing. And the fact he's older and has talked about growing up in a toxic masculinity culture probably has more to with it.

I dunno, i know i shouldnt be think about strangers like this, but some things he's said feel familiar to me

(context for those not on the bird app)

i totally agree with not labelling anyone, and (regardless of how he does identify) taika seems very comfortable in his sexuality, which is all that matters. however, there’s also nothing he’s ever done to make me assume he is straight, if that makes sense?

i definitely took his out magazine interview as a sort of soft launch, as you said. especially since he followed it up with a “coming out” joke tweet. but the amount of vitriol he faced for it was absurd, and it’s still so strange to me how people instantly took his comments in bad faith instead of making the fairly obvious assumption that he was just saying “i consider myself to be part of this community.”

a quote i actually think about a lot is from when taika was on the vanity fair little gold men podcast (around 00:59:45) and got into talking about the stereotypical hyper-masculine culture of growing up in aotearoa, and i feel like it gives some insight into his feelings on this subject:

“I will tell ya, I grew up in a — a pretty macho culture and a very macho country. Where it’s like, you know, you play rugby and, you know, you drink beer, and it’s, like… kind of, life is just set out for you, and… how boring? You know? It’s just, like, you know, it’s like — people are like, ‘Well, I don’t want any immigrants here,’ and then complain that there’s only one type of food to eat. And so, it’s like… you know, that you… want to have an interesting life and you want to be able to — you want to expose yourself to art, and to — you know, to various cultures and various types of people. So for me, growing up, I… I was exposed to that from an early age through, like, on my mother’s side, especially. So it was, like… there were a lot of eccentric and interesting and weird artists and stuff in my life. Um, so it wasn’t, like, a later in life, big shock for me. It was always there. But I think I’ve realized that there are so many ways of being a man, and… and to be… just macho and to just want to be, like… just straight. Just to be, like, so determined to be straight, is… so… sad. And, like — and also is — it just feels so tiring. Wouldn’t it be so tiring just to, like, have to hold on to something that no one cares about? So — so tightly? And it’s, like, look, if you just let go and accept who — then we don’t have to have the conversation. We can talk about more important things. But the idea that we still have to talk about all of this is mad. (…) So, you know, it’s like… I would much rather have the discussions around, you know, more intense, more upsetting things that are happening to humanity than, like, who someone’s in love with.”

[joyswonderland1108]

Fanservice?

In the lights of uhm.. everyday's events because at this point there's nothing occasional about this, i wanted to talk about this one subject :

✨Fanservice✨

Or as they call it in Korean 팬서비스 . Quite honestly i'm not making this post for you know who because as much as i want to educate them they're hard headed so this is more of a general knowledge for everyone and whoever wants to add it to their Kpopictionnary.

Fanservice is literally the act of servicing the fans aka doing things that would please the fans. I know that a lot of people think that fanservice = gay activities or queerbaiting well.. It's not entirely true, maybe it's a form we are more used to seeing nowadays but fan service can pretty much be a very straight activity as long as it keeps the fans entertained.

As a kpop oldie (i'm no expert just speaking from experience) i used to listen to 2NE1 and a bit of Bigbang and these two groups engaged in fanservice mainly because both of their fans liked the chemistry between them, i remember noticing this about CL and G-dragon, yes they were friends but that didn't mean that to please their fans they wouldn't do a lil something to make it look a tad bit romantic

In more recent kpop groups, despite me not knowing them all too much BUT i know OOO (OnlyOneOf) have this one "Libido" choreography that is very.. HUM and personally i know choreographies are a form of art but i also think that it has a bit of an act of service. But then one should be able to not mix up everything cause one of the members, Rie, has a song called "because" but because of the nature of the song, what it is talking about, the MV cannot be considered as fanservice.

In other words, just because something looks "gay" to you it does not mean that it is automatically an act of service.

In general the fanservice culture is pretty well known in Kpop but contrary to the past where it somehow was a bit of a "mandatory" thing, now as an idol you either chose to do it or you don't, and many times within the same group some chose to do it some don't, as long as the one who choses to do it respects the boundaries of the person who just isn't interested in it, then they're just having their fun.

Now moving on from generalities to specifications, BTS, which i've seen a lot of confusions and misinformation going on about them and fanservice. Will i be one of those who will say that they NEVER did that? No of course not i'm not that stupid and blind, but will i just lie and say that up until this day they are still engaging in it? Also no.

Listen, kpop idols in general have a tougher starts, and BTS just like other groups had to engage in some form of fanservice which is why you'd find videos like this on YT

And yes this whole thing was an act of service, remember their lil games too? Aka when Hobi stole tae's first kiss lol well yes that was an act of service. But you know what else is an act of service? Fan meets, because whether people are ready to accept that this also falls into the fanservice category or not, it IS a fanservice, an idol basically offers the fan the service of getting to see them up close, hold their hand, talk to them, give them gifts, etc..

Now just like i mentioned above, it is a bit less tough in the recent years as idols now have a choice, which was the case for our boys. Things change, the same way personalities do, the same way our boys in the past had a certain view about what masculinity is and what their view now is of masculinity, our boys are just no longer interested in that type of fanservice since within the years they've been together they grew closer and it's easier for them to naturally tend to be affectionate.

In what i like to call their "lil skit" on PTD in Seoul Jimin made it very clear that they're not into "fake stuff", why do i think that maybe it's a skit to get the message across, it's simply because our boys do go online and they do see what people say about them and in a way or in another they always tells us what's up, so of fucking course they must've known about how some "fans" seem to downgrade their bond into just an act of service.

While some smaller groups are still a bit "forced" into that extra bond with the members, i remember seeing somewhere that some idol confessed they weren't even that close but they were forced to act like it, bigger groups like BTS don't need that anymore to push them further and yet "some people" like to still call their bond a fanservice simply because they have narratives that get humbled everytime and they're not ready to accept it.

Whatever activitiy a member choses to do with the other, this has nothing to do with fanservice whether you like it or not. Jimin attending Tae's music bank show is because he wants to support his friend, Namjikook attending and participating in Yoongi's concert is because they wanted to be there and wanted to do a surprise, any member chosing to hang out with another member or a member of a different group is not an act of service, they are human, and they have relationships with other humans which so happen to be their friends.

People need to stop putting the boys into a bubble they've created for them and anything that goes beyond that bubble is deemed unacceptable for them and titled as fanservice or "forced to do". BTS will ALL be in their 30's very soon, they are adults and very responsible for their own action, they are very big, very popular and don't need anyone to tell them what type of relationship they should be having with others.

I feel like countries need to invest in more green spaces because clearly some "fans" need to go outside and touch some grass they've been a bit too invested into the online community that they forgot that idols have lives and they can actually chose to be friends with members of their own group too.

With that being said, let's please keep supporting our boys, we shouldn't let haters ruin our mood or try to pick fights with us, the best thing to do is ignore what we can and report what is harmful. Have a nice day y'aaaall and STREAM MUSE!!!!

[ghoulangerlee]

if i could ask without it being rude. . .

what/when did you realize you were nonbinary?

lately i've been wondering if the gender binary fits for me and i was just hoping you might have some answers or guidance or something

anon this is not rude at all! i am always open to talk about my experiences with gender identity! thank you so much for feeling safe enough to come to me, I do hope my answer sheds some light on things for you.

please excuse any spelling errors bc I am currently typing with one eye open haha. (also under a read more bc i got wordy sorry I hope this helps!! I'm here for you anon!!)

So, I was about 19 when I realized that 'girl' didn't really fit me? Looking back I think it might have always been like this, but I grew up in a small southern town where the only out gay person was bullied so relentlessly that he left town and we never saw him again.

So, 19, I come across this tumblr account that centered heavily on genderfluidity, and for a while that identity felt safe to me? I've always been more masculine leaning in general, from a very young age and at the time (this was 2011) genderfluid seemed right. I would fluidly slip between masc and fem and it all felt comfortable and safe and nothing like I'd ever experienced before. Small town me finding out there was more than just gay, lesbian, bi and trans? (trans here in the sense of transgender like, trans man or trans woman).

So yeah, I think at that point for me though, I just lost my mom, I was dealing with a lot of stuff and I didn't have the bandwidth to look too far into anything beyond something that finally made sense in my brain. So while I do still stand by me ID'ing as genderfluid for a few years, it never actually felt right. And you know? That's okay. It was sort of a stepping stone for me, I think. To look more into other gender identities. Because at that time, beyond genderfluid I only knew of trans men and trans women, in like I guess the binary gender sense?

To preface this, I know that definitions of transgender has changed over the years, this is just my personal experience with all of this, which is why some of it may come off as idk outdated?

Anyway, while I ID'd as genderfluid, I went by a masculine nickname and still used she/her pronouns just because I didn't really consider using anything else. Someone once referred to me using he and that sorta felt okay? But also not...right? At the same time. Like it felt better than she, but in the sense that it was a little off to the left of better. Not a perfect fit, but an okay one.

Honestly I could probably dig deep enough on my blog and maybe find some ramblings from that time if I tried hard enough, though I can't for the life of me figure out what I'd have tagged it haha.

So, I don't exactly remember what finally brought on nonbinary other than once I told someone that I didn't really feel like a person? I felt more like a genderless blob so to speak, and that she/her and he/him didn't really feel right to me.

And that friend was like 'well what about they?'

And then someone referred to me using they and everything sort of clicked into place right after that.

My experiences with gender have been quite turbulent, in the past I've dealt with heavy gender dysphoria because I had this idea in my mind that I needed to look androgynous in order to identify as nonbinary. That I wasn't nonbinary enough if I had tits. I binded for several years and fucked my ribs up with it because I am also fat. So, in I would say 2013 is when I finally started using nonbinary? So internet culture led me to believe I needed to be thin and have a flat chest in order to be the right kind of nonbinary, because otherwise I was just a woman.

I still get called she/her in my real life, other than my husband and our friend who both use they/them when referring to me. But, I've learned these past several years that nonbinary doesn't look a certain way? That I don't have to be more masculine leaning in order to ID that way. It feels right, when people use they/them and when they call me Lee, which is why I typically introduce myself that way, other than doctor's offices, and other official places use my birth name.

It took a lot of growing for me, because I had so many negative ideas about femininity and how I could also navigate that while being nonbinary. I refused to wear makeup for the longest time because I thought that that meant I was just faking it, and being a woman.

I've always wanted to be feminine but in the same way that like, a masculine person can be feminine, I guess? So like, in a 'cis man wears a dress and makeup' sort of way if that makes sense.

And I had this idea that I couldn't do that, otherwise I was just a fake nonbinary person?

What ultimately helped me was in 2016/2017 when I worked for Home Depot, my head cashier actually lead a local lgbt+ group and she immediately latched onto me not being straight or cis. Again, this was the south so there was a little bit of growing pains, we all ended up sitting down and talking about gender identity, I talked with some older people who were nonbinary and it opened my mind to start viewing things in a way that like, helped me, I guess?

Like, yeah, makeup is traditionally worn by a woman, but because I am not a woman, wearing makeup does not make me a woman. Just as wearing traditionally masculine clothing, does not make me a man. It just makes me a person wearing make up or a person wearing clothing.

I think overall, if I would have stayed on the internet and kept listening to those people who say that you have to look/be a certain way in order to be nonbinary, I wouldn't have probably reconciled my own issues with how I perceived myself vs nonbinary.

Overall, I'd say start small, the first thing I did was use neutral pronouns, this isn't to say you can't use neopronouns if those feel right to you, or use something like he/they or she/they bc a lot of nonbinary people do that too.

It's okay to experiment with gender. It's okay to tell your friends that you want to be referred to using only neutral pronouns, or a set neopronouns, or what have you. See how that feels.

Take a step back and look at how you perceive certain things, when I was finally able to let go of the idea that things had to be gendered, and that those gendered things only fit one particular gender, it made things so much easier for me.

I stopped hating my chest. Like I'd said earlier, I binded for a while, and it was so uncomfortable, but I Felt like I had to just because of what I'd heard the uh "gatekeepers of gender" say. But now? finding a bra that fits nicely and accentuates my chest? Euphoric.

None of that makes me a woman. I am just a person, and I like things.

Living in the south, good luck with me trying to ever explain this to people around here. So I'm out, but I'm not explicitly out I guess. If people clock it? Good for them. If not? Oh well. I don't really correct people on my pronouns, just because I've finally reached a point where I'm okay with it. My sister and brother in law still call me by my birth name and that's fine too. Because in my head, my name is Lee and my birth name is just a nickname that they have for me.

And again, all of this came with time. With several years. I started this when I was 19 and I'm 31 now, so it took a decent chunk. It's important that you've got a good support system too. And honestly, I'm here for you anon. If you ever need to talk, or vent or anything, my askbox is open. If you wanna come off anon and dm me? Sure.

I can even give you my discord if you'd prefer that.

Navigating gender can be scary, but, it'll be okay. <3

[omegaverseheadcanons]

MY AU

No male or female—Everyone’s sex is either alpha or omega. They effectively replace male/female in our world.

As such, alphas are referred to with masculinising language, and omega are referred to with feminising language.

Betas are pups. All betas grow up to become alphas or omegas. In other words, “pup” and “beta” are interchangeable terms, just like kid and child. (Ex. “When I was a beta, I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up.”)

A “Vae” (Pronounced “Vay”) is a beta who will grow into an omega. A “Tau” will grow into an alpha. E.g. Boy/man and Girl/woman -> Vae/omega and Tau/Alpha. (I based this off the Greek lettering system, since alpha, omega, and beta are all Greek letters. I figured it would make sense to have gendered terms for pups using Greek letters. Although I’m trying to find the Greek lettering that sounds the best. I like Tau, but I’m trying to find what sounds best for omega pups. Vae for now.

Vaes are referred to as daughters, and taus are referred to as sons.

Omegas typically have soft bodies, while alpha have more firm bodies.

The conventionally desired omega body type is effectively an hourglass figure, while alphas want that traditionally masculine frame. Of course, most people do not live up to that ideal. But it lends itself to a lot of other insecurity on both sides.

Still trying to figure out puberty stuff, but I think Betas go through the physiological changes starting at about 14-16 but the first cycle occurs at roughly age 18-20. Historically in many cultures, the first cycle (be it heat or rut) marked the official end of puberty and the beginning of adulthood. This is because, and many cultures, you were not considered a full fledged adult until you could procreate. As a general rule, no one can really reproduce before achieving full sexual maturity (Well, not without serious health issues.) Typically people achieve full sexual maturity by 22-ish, at the same time their brains are done developing. From then on, they’re considered young adults and the life cycle goes from there.

A lot of laws are built around this age: People can vote and drink legally at 22 (but of course people do it younger) and rent cars at 22, for example. Also, marriages under the age of 23 are prohibited. You can do 22 with parental consent. Generally, people are not considered full adults who can make their own decisions without parental consent until early 20s. In other words, the age of majority is early 20s. I’ll say 23 for now, but I’m workshopping it.

Also, this AU is based on our modern world with some added stuff. So characters are still subject to the same bureaucracy, ridiculous, hypocritical laws and policies, because it’s realistic and I want that in my AU. As I talk more about it, you’ll notice a lot of very infuriating things that go on, silly holdovers in terms of law and policy and procedure and red tape, and it’ll frustrate you like it does me, but I wanted to reflect the real world as best as I can, and the real world is messy and hypocritical and complex, so this AU world is, too.

Packs were a thing back in antiquity/the bronze age/ancient times but the nuclear family structure largely supplanted it. Of course, in certain remote areas on earth, You’ll still find packs. But they are virtually non-existent in the 21st century. As such, you won’t see them in my AU.

[frankensteinsmonstergotablog]

Women's Spaces and Relationships

I gave myself a day to fully cool off and reflect before I made this post. I can not help but realize that it is far too common for young women's families to become involved in their relationships and to side with men they do not know. This is even more prevelant when the girl is being raised without her father or the father and the boyfriend are on good terms. It's tragic, and when a girl is really young or inexperienced it is a form of gaslighting. Boys lie, or at the very least skew narratives in their favor, because it's a sensitive topic. It's their love life and their first relationship too. Young people test the waters of what is socially acceptable, so of course that's what most young people will do. I'm not here to call out young boys in highschool who don't fully understand boundaries, especially given the cultual norms depicted in media and upheld by patriarchal standards.

However, the real problem with this circumstance is that society as a whole has given men way too much control in social situations, even when they are incredibly young or simply out of bounds. The ball is not in their court, and as the older person, it's up to the girl's parents or guardians to set an example. To let these young men know that this is not a place for them. Likewise, a young girl should never try to invade a young man's family home to win him back, should never try to win over his family, etc.

I understand I may have some fall out with others over this topic, especially since masculinity is a cultural performance that relies on tradions such as the chase, getting a girl back, etc. However, if you're a parent and your immediant instinct is to side with a man you don't know in your own family member's first or second relationship, you're only making that problem worse. Being part of a community, giving younger generations life long skills, it all relies on older people, specifically parents and guardians acting accordingly. I can not fathom a reason to comment or care about my future daughter's relationships to such an extent, much less to side with a teenage boy, allowing him inside a space that should be a place where a young girl can feel is her own. I've watched this type of situation play out, and it digrades the trust a young girl has with her family moving forward as well as her trust in future relationships. If a young girl ends a relationship, that should be her choice.

Additionally, taking the opposite action can aid a woman's future. All the women I have known who have had financial and academic success did not have this experience. All of them grew up with parents that did not let men get close to the family until the women were much older (late 20s, early 30s) with education and career path being first and foremost the priority. Not to say the women couldn't talk about their boyfriends growing up, or have them over, but for the boys to be hanging out with their families when she wasn't around? This was unheard of. Why bother whipping this courtship into a frenzy when it's a first try? Let it fail, learn from those failures, and branch out onto better future endeavors.

I wanted to address this topic, to form it fully outside my mind because it happened to me. My own mother allowed my first boyfriend, a man years older than me, into our family home. She agreed with him that I should quit attending my current school and go to a completly new city with him, despite me having already cut things off with him days prior. There are no words to how truly awful it felt to have be in such a situation. Had my father been alive, I still wonder if my ex would have even considered pulling such a stunt. It's a harrowing thing to say I experienced and lived through, and while I'm lucky, I can not say with full confidence how many other women have died because they tried to flee an abusive relationship and their own families turn on them. If we as a society want to fully address the patriarchy and a culture's internalized misogyny, we have to give women a safe space to return to after exploring the world, their sexuality, and all life has to offer. Virginia Woolfe's essay, a Room of One's Own, famously touches on this ideology that women's suffrage depends on not just theories and slogans, but physical spaces with which women can escape to and find sanctuary in; "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." While the female novelist indeed needs a room of her own, so does the future surgeon, pilot, and entrepeneur. No girl should feel she can not return to her home, the very pot from which her roots grew, and not feel the cards are not stacked in her favor and the gates only open on her and her parent's command.

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/9/2022: THE HIDDEN (1987)

I'm gonna say something contentious about this great movie, to my own detriment, but I think it's the truth: Boys love THE HIDDEN. I mean, I also love THE HIDDEN. Everybody who loves a good movie loves THE HIDDEN! It's a huge party with great performances, cool images, and non-stop action. Bitchin' car chases, sick guitar riffs, sci-fi weapons, fucked up parasites, and gun-toting strippers are not inherently gendered fare; they are for everyone. But I think that the way I watch THE HIDDEN is fundamentally different from the way that, say, my husband watches it. He grew up in the New Jersey suburbs in the '80s and '90s, raised with a sense that his natural, god-given culture was cool cars, hot chicks, shootouts, explosions, secret agents, alien invaders, and all this macho material that blasts out of the screen when you watch THE HIDDEN. When my husband and I watch this movie, we may experience a similar level of pleasure, but not for the same reasons. He sees a great movie, but he also sees the greatest expression of what he was raised to believe is an inherent part of his being. He gets a sense of ownership, a feeling of having his own true nature acknowledged, that I can't really touch as a cis het girl who was raised as such—and I've noticed this every time I watch THE HIDDEN with the dudes in my life. They get a sense of social patriotism from it, a feeling of unity, and an affirmation of the most basic tenants of their cultural identity. And I think that's totally great.

So anyway, THE HIDDEN is the best movie by director Jack Sholder, unless you understand that WISHMASTER 2 is the greatest movie ever made, or unless you are doing contrarian hot takes on the quality of NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2 just to point out that it's not as bad as its homophobic haters insist that it is. Without knowing for sure, I'd bet it's also the best movie from Bob Hunt, who also wrote THE BOOGENS. THE HIDDEN is a buddy cop movie in which hardboiled cop Michael Nouri and obvious space alien Kyle MacLachlachlan and hunt an intergalactic parasite with a taste for fast cars, rock'n'roll, and ultraviolence. It resembles ELM STREET 2 in its focus on male bonding and male fears around bodily vulnerability. It resembles WISHMASTER 2 in being an uninhibited, imaginative, balls to the wall good time. THE HIDDEN is fun, funny, and oddly moving, and it's basically only going to put you off if you hate joy.

It's easy to be distracted by the high octane spectacle of this movie, but it is also beautifully cast and performed. Kyle MacLachlan is typically wonderful and he has great chemistry with Michael Nouri, but the parasite also gives us a string of great performances from its hosts. My personal favorite is William Boyett, a lantern-jawed square who usually showed up in movies and shows about cops, cowboys, spies, and other GI Joe types, and his straight-laced appearance is a perfect foil for the extreme antisociality of the parasite, who totes around a boombox blasting shedding rock music on its relentless crime spree. Other standouts include Twin Peaks alum Chris Mulkey, Claudia Christian from MANIAC COP 2, and last but not least, Jake the dog from NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4.

I don't really have anything deep to say about THE HIDDEN besides the sociological observation that I led with. But, even though I maintain that it offers a delightful and, all things considered, not particularly toxic reflection of American masculinity, I should underline that THE HIDDEN is definitely for everyone. Watch it today to turn off your brain and boost your mood.

PS Here is my husband's hilarious photo of us watching THE HIDDEN on my laptop during our recent road trip. It really says how we feel about William Boyett.

[pumpkinnning]

this is such an interesting question ! i find him fascinating now but i didn't like Nico at all when i got into f1 - bc i got in via an extremely pro-Lewis part of the fandom. but also tbh i just found his vibes really offputting. thinking about why has been really interesting

i think class is a big reason why. as a French person he really reminds me of a specific type of Southern European ultra-rich douchebag, the smooth elegant tanned and botoxed to hell who winters in Ibiza kind. when i was a kid my dad's job included shmoozing a lot of these guys so we went on vacation with them and their families sometimes (which was nice, not complaining, but also really weird, gave me a crash course in my god really rich ppl can be a special kind of pathetic) and Nico fits the vibe to a T. these are the guys that non-Europeans might see as a bit gay or effeminate. but the thing is, masculinity is a construct, and a very culture/class specific one. this type of guy can wear fine italian leather shoes, fancy colorful shirts, be very charming and affectionate w his family, has his pet charity projects, loves wellness hippie shit. but he's almost always gonna have conservative opinions and wow can he say rancid shit abt women/gay ppl/immigrants when pressed. he's not being gnc. at all.

in these circles open displays of macho aggression and physical strength and showboating ala American masculinity are considered vulgar and working class. high class dominant masculinity is first and foremost demonstrated by culture there. intellect, refinement, a certain kind of genteel affect and of course, being from the right kind of background that allows you to feel entitled and look down on others. that's what i saw first when i saw Nico, even though clearly that's not actually him. i can imagine that's also valid for some EU f1 fans/media that aren’t ultra rich. 

and ofc i know f1 is full of rich people. but tbh as a French person American style billionaires and their over the top antics don't feel real to me. and that is an ideal of being rich that generally presents itself as more attainable, meritocratic. everyone can do it, we're just regular guys who got started in a garage vibe. false, but it makes them more relatable, and 'average' people a lot less angry. (useful!) old money Western/Southern European vibes that show status through culture, though ? you will never be one of them. and generally you won't even know why but they will, and they will make you feel vulgar and worthless and ashamed about it. it gets under ppl's skin like nothing else. 

of course probably a lot of non EU fans can see Nico as typical coastal/city elite liberal disconnected from "real" masculinity/life/etc too it's not exclusive i think he has the kind of vibe that is hateable by a lot of different people for different reasons

that said Nico’s family is not exactly old money, right - at least his dad, who also seems like a very down to earth guy. idk about his mom. if he grew up btw Monaco/Ibiza/a fancy international school he was probably surrounded by ppl who were a lot more old money than him growing up, though. the kind that think getting your money and prestige through sports is fun and exciting like a circus attraction but you know, at the end of the day, tacky. and hearing him talk more, he does give a bit of a social climber trying too hard vibe. which, again, this is complete speculation, but could add to the impostor complex doesn't fit anywhere vibes. and now tbh Nico seems to me more like the type who just wants to fit in and prove himself rather than the type who wants to assert status superiority (aside from on the track). 

never been but i can imagine the world of f1 is excessively full of all sorts of status posturing. lots of boring privileged types from all over the world that want to buy into the thrill and macho, risky allure of sports, the meritocratic "i earned all of this through my own sweat tears and aggressive daredevil behavior" vibes. investing in drivers and mechanics like others invest in horses. at the same time the prestige, technological advancement aspect and insane amounts of money involved in f1 keeps it classy. i also think a lot of (male, older) f1 fans have similar fantasies when they watch, getting a bit of that prestige by proxy.

and when you have someone like Nico who is trying too hard (and not in the right way) and is awkward and a bit too earnest and overthinks things and doesn't easily fit in a clear cut category...i think it kind of exposes that the whole thing is a farce, actually, and i think that's (part of) why he is so hated

bottaslicious:

what is it about nico rosberg that irks people (men, mostly) so much

overall he’s intelligent, a good driver, good-looking, considerate of fans, generally manages to avoid saying shitty things

like i could see some people hating him over the fact he’s a second generation driver and had a foot between the door automatically (which is bullshit tho, a good name gets you only so far before it works against you since you have to prove you’re worth more than your legacy) and comes from a privileged background. still, it’s not like keke would’ve been easy on him, we’re talking about a man who had to pave his own way into f1 (there was a point pre-f1 when he was both the driver and press and wrote the articles of his races himself so yeah keke literally built the road he was walking) and got shit from every possible source - a man who taught mika häkkinen the value of money by giving him allowance so there was this f1 star at the beginning of his career living in monaco in an apartment furnished with one table, one chair and a bed - a man who very clearly said he wouldn’t want baby nico to become a racing driver. so yeah, keke has definitely been supportive of nico always but there is no way he’s let him just have what he’s asked for.

obviously there’s a lot of hating him bc he’s a threat to a driver they support because what better way to love your fave than to shit on their obstacles but it’s not like it explains it all; there’s just something about nico that rubs people the wrong way, especially men.

idk how much of it is linked to nationality - it’s always easy to support your country and nico’s just not your simple bratwurst. lewis’ fave thing in the world is to say nico’s not german, lewis’ fans with tinfoil hats love to scream “NAZI” every time nico does as much as sneeze at his direction, in finland nico’s nationality is basically a question of personal preference. he’s from everywhere until someone says he really isn’t.

if you take away his nationality and the fact he’s a second generation driver he’s just like any other chump from the grid yet he seems to arouse more intense opinions, everything from total hate to very aggressive “meh i don’t feel one way or another”. so. idk. maybe it was just a really bad timing for him.

I think about this a lot tbh.

I’ve probably only talked to a handful of people in real life about F1 and whenever the subject of drivers came up they were all completely baffled when I said I liked Nico. Even the ones who didn’t care much for Lewis didn’t really understand it. It’s funny because of all the drivers I support he’s probably also the one who I find it the hardest to articulate my support for, so whenever it comes up in conversations I find myself saying things like:

- He had to overcome all these expectations growing up because he was Keke’s son and the only thing you can say in terms of preferential treatment is that he was exposed to racing at a very early age and had a dad who understood the business but that will only get you into a kart when you’re a kid, it won’t keep you in F1 for so many years and with such great results. Nico earned his stripes and he did it with humility and grace. 

- He’s very intelligent and probably even a bit too smart for his own good. Like Daniil (also a real polyglot) who sometimes seems to overthink things and drive from the head instead of the heart - which can be great in some respects but more often than not it simply isn’t enough, especially in those oh so very crucial make-or-break moments. 

- I love the idea of him working so fucking hard to get to where he is despite not being as naturally gifted as Lewis. And he isn’t. He knows he isn’t. But he has oodles of talent and even more determination and drive and I respect that and admire it so fucking much. I stopped doing so many things because I wasn’t the most gifted kid doing that particular thing at that time and it was sort of like - well, what’s the point then? This is the point, you only need enough talent to build on and idk, I think that’s so awesome. 

BUT

All the while in the back of my head I know exactly why all those points won’t convince anyone. 

Yes, he’s intelligent but he isn’t particularly funny (actually that’s the most authentically German thing about him). He’s so literal sometimes it’s off-putting. He handles everything with grace but sometimes it’s way too much grace. Interviewers do all but spit in his face and he’s still playing at being a regal diplomat - but then every so often he drops the diplomacy, like he did in the interview this last weekend when he called Martin out for saying he’s too nice when before the problem was that he’s too mean, and it’s such a fucking delight to watch. You can see it in the comments that people make about him on twitter or in forums, suddenly they love him for a brief moment. Or when he let people hear the emotion in his voice when he said he wanted to go to the end in Abu Dhabi in 2014. Whenever he lets himself be genuine people find it so easy to love him - but he just does it so rarely. 

Yes there were expectations because of Keke but when people get to know him he’s so unlike his father that even if he became champion there would still be some disappointment in him for not having Keke’s personality and panache. 

And ultimately… yeah, the nationality thing matters. It matters because it makes him seem disingenuous. 

If Nico had raced under the Monegasque flag I think people would find it easier to understand him. 

It isn’t just that he very clearly isn’t German but that he tries so hard to be. All those posts during the World Cup/Euro just felt so staged, even if they probably weren’t. He wore a black armband after the Germanwings tragedy and while I’m sure he genuinely felt for what happened there was something… idk, it didn’t seem right somehow. It felt like a conscious move and there’s something about national grief that’s like familial grief, like the grief of the nuclear family. You can feel terrible for your friend’s family, or even, say, your cousin’s nuclear family, if they’re going through a tragedy but you can’t sit shiva with them. 

Nico’s Germanness feels like it was constructed by someone who read a Wikipedia page on how to be German. Like an undercover spy trained from infancy, all to prepare him to one day assimilate into the target culture. I bet if you asked Nico about German history or politics he would know more than Hulkie or Vettel (well, possibly) but their knowledge is probably a lot more personal than simply factual, it’s based on memories and feelings and the history of their own families and towns and their friends’ families and so on. 

One of our most powerful evolutionary traits is to be able to spot those situations where something just isn’t quite right, even if we can’t put our finger on it. That’s why we have such varied accents and dialects, so you can immediately tell if someone is a stranger. It’s probably why you can pick out tourists in a crowd in your hometown even if they’re dressed the same as everyone else. And Nico… idk, it’s almost like he triggers some sort of uncanny valley response in people. 

And yes, I agree, men seem to respond to him very strongly and not in a good way. I would think that some of that is probably the lack of bravado and his body language with other men. Like the way he shows affection by tucking his head into the other person’s chest and folding his body into theirs, he’s comfortable choosing to take a submissive position and some guys see that as a sign of weakness. He “lets” people get away with calling him Britney, with saying that he’s pretty… even though you can see it annoys him. He’s still so openly affectionate with his father, he embraces his legacy instead of running away from it. It goes against the whole “every son must kill his father” thing.  

Idk, why is it that with Nico I find myself rambling on for hours but I never feel like I explained myself at all? 

[phoenixyfriend]

I know very little about GG, but my brain has decided to focus on the Stewjon GG AU. Anyway, you saying that Satine taking in the sparky clones wouldn’t work because she’s dedicated to pacifism and sparks aren’t peaceful has me wondering what Satine and Obi-Wan’s relationship is like in this au. Because like he’s absolutely going to do things that she’d find ethically unacceptable. And that’s fun. Like ok Obi-Wan might be relatively ethical as sparks go (I’m getting that impression but I might be wrong), but he’s going to idk steal body parts from a corpse at least once. And look I’m constantly fascinated my character dynamics so I’m mostly just getting excited in your inbox rn, but I’m also wondering what influence Obi-Wan might have on Satine’s ideology given they met as young-ish teens I believe. And he and Qui-Gon were protecting her I think. So, yeah apparently I’m focusing on what their relationship could be like.

OKAY so. Here's the fun thing: while the Spark is a neurotype that is characterized in large part by tunnel vision to the exclusion of ethics and morality when in pursuit of a goal, it's also heavily influenced by the culture of 1890s Europe* (which is already not great on the scientific morality front) and by the way the world has adjusted and grown with the presence of Sparks as a regular, known threat that has also encouraged the association of certain behaviors and stereotypes with anyone displaying that neurotype, much like toxic masculinity encourage negative behaviors in men that aren't naturally there.

* Primarily the regions we would know as Romania, France, and England, as those are the areas the story has passed major arcs in so far.

@atagotiak had a really fun breakdown, I think:

One fun thing about the spark as shown in GG is uh. The moral standards of even the most moral characters have been shaped by how society has been run by sparks for generations, and like, oftentimes the type of sparks that have no impulse control. And also how irl 1800’s experimental procedure is not exactly… ethical. It’s hard to tease out how much of even Agatha’s unhingedness like with the needles and stuff is inherent to the spark and how much is that this is considered acceptable-ish behaviour in her world. A Star Wars spark, especially a Jedi spark, is gonna be at least a little different and probably not perfect but def way better than the average GG spark at remembering things like autonomy and stuff because they grew up being taught ethics.

So it's not really that sparks are inherently bad at ethics, so much as that between the tunnel vision and the wider culture, they're taught that it's okay to ignore moral considerations in pursuit of Knowledge or Monsters.

If Obi-Wan stole body parts from a corpse in front of Satine, there'd be some pretty extenuating circumstances, like one of Satine's close friends is dying due to damage to the liver, and a Death Watch member with the same blood type is already recently dead from a head shot three feet away... well, the transplant will save a life! They're not using it anymore! It's not ethical, really, but it's contextually... not just 'oh hey, I'm mad-sciencing!' but weighing the pros and cons to save a life.

Another Tia quote:

She’s complicated in that she often very thoughtless towards other people. And doesn’t seem to get their pov on things. If I rewatched though that lens I could probably find a good argument that she’s somewhat low-empathy herself, and that’s part of why she’s so rigid regarding the rules of how to be a good person. Like she tries to do good but I’m not sure how intuitive it is.

So I think it's easy to say that Satine tries to understand where Obi-Wan's coming from, especially if she sees him actively toning it down whenever Qui-Gon tells him he's getting a little too intense, or someone reacts poorly to a comment.

Obi-Wan apologizes a lot, at least for those slips. He recognizes that it's a lot and can be actively scary to the people around him, and he puts a lot of effort into making sure it's not disturbing.

Satine, in turn, recognizes that this is an inherent part of who Obi-Wan is and that he can't just turn it off or 'try harder' to be a 'good person,' because he generally is a good person, just one who came pre-installed with behaviors and thought patterns that can't be unlearned and don't mesh well with neurotypical people.

(He doesn't apologize for the shouty arguments about the value of pacifism in a culture where self-defense is necessary to avoid dying, or violence must be wielded to save and protect those who cannot protect themselves, but that's not sparkhood, that's New Mando vs Jedi.)

That said, I do think that it would be enough to prevent their Tragic Romance from happening. It's not an inherent fault on either of their parts, but Obi-Wan having a heavy tendency towards concerning behaviors would put up enough of a wall that, on top of everything else in their lives (e.g. running for said lives, duties to the Jedi), the romance wouldn't happen. They'd still be friends! But I think Satine would have trouble really falling for Obi-Wan when a lot of what he does and says is inherently troubling to someone who grew up in a culture that prized violence and the destruction of others, something that involves a lot of crossing boundaries... and Obi-Wan is not great at boundaries when he's fugueing. Very few sparks are.

[theshedding]

Lil Nas X: Country Music, Christianity & Reclaiming HELL

I don’t typically bother myself to follow what Lil Nas X is doing from day to day, or even month to month but I do know that his “Old Town Road” hit became one of the biggest selling/streamed records in Country Music Business history (by a Black Country & Queer artist). “Black” is key because for 75+ years Country music has unsuspiciously evolved into a solidly White-identified genre (despite mixed and Indian & Black roots). Regrettably, Country music is also widely known for anti-black, misogynoir, reliably homophobic (Trans isn’t really a conversation yet), Christian and Hard Right sentiments on the political spectrum. Some other day I will venture into more; there is a whole analysis dying to be done on this exclusive practice in the music industry with its implications on ‘access’ to equity and opportunity for both Black/POC’s and Whites artists/songwriters alike. More commentary on this rigid homogeneous field is needed and how it prohibits certain talent(s) for the sake of perpetuating homogeneity (e.g. “social determinants” of diversity & viable artistic careers). I’ll refrain from discussing that fully here, though suffice it to say that for those reasons X’s “Old Town Road” was monumental and vindicating. 

As for Lil Nas X, I’m not particularly a big fan of his music; but I see him, what he’s doing, his impact on music + culture and I celebrate him using these moments to affirm his Black, Queer self, and lifting up others. Believe it or not, even in the 2020′s, being “out” in the music business is still a costly choice. As an artist it remains much easier to just “play straight”. And despite appearances, the business (particularly Country) has been dragged kicking and screaming into developing, promoting and advancing openly-affirming LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 artists in the board room or on-stage. Though things are ‘better’ we have not yet arrived at a place of equity or opportunity for queer artists; for the road of music biz history is littered with stunted careers, bodies and limitations on artists who had no option but to follow conventional ways, fail or never be heard of in the first place. With few exceptions, record labels, radio and press/media have successfully used fear, intimidation, innuendo and coercion to dilute, downplay or erase any hint of queer identity from its performers. This was true even for obvious talents like Little Richard.

(Note: I’m particularly speaking of artists in this regard, not so much the hairstylists, make-up artists, PA’s, etc.)

_____

Which is why...in regard to Lil Nas X, whether you like, hate or love his music, the young brother is a trailblazer. His very existence protests (at least) decades of inequity, oppression and erasure. X aptly critiques a Neo-Christian Fascist Heteropatriarchy; not just in American society but throughout the Music Business and with Black people. That is no small deal. His unapologetic outness holds a mirror up to Christianity at-large, as an institution, theology and practice. The problem is they just don’t like what they see in that mirror.

In actuality, “Call Me By Your Name”, Lil Nas X’s new video, is a twist on classic mythology and religious memes that are less reprehensible or vulgar than the Biblical narratives most of us grew up on vís-a-vís indoctrinating smiles of Sunday school teachers and family prior to the “age of reason”. Think about the narratives blithely describing Satan’s friendly wager with God regarding Job (42:1-6); the horrific “prophecies” in St. John’s Book of Revelation (i.e. skies will rain fire, angels will spit swords, mankind will be forced to retreat into caves for shelter, and we will be harassed by at least three terrifying dragons and beasts. Angels will sound seven trumpets of warning, and later on, seven plagues will be dumped on the world), or Jesus’s own clarifying words of violent intent in Matthew (re: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” 10:34). Whether literal or metaphor, these age old stories pale in comparison to a three minute allegorical rap video. Conservatives: say what you will, I’m pretty confident X doesn’t take himself as seriously as “The true and living God” from the book of Job.

A little known fact as it is, people have debunked the story and evolution of Satan and already offered compelling research showing [he] is more of a literary device than an actual entity or “spirit” (Spoiler: In the Bible, Satan does not take shape as an actual “bad” person until the New Testament). In fact, modern Christianity’s impression of the “Devil” is shaped by conflating Hellenized mythology with a literary tradition rooted in Dante’s Inferno and accompanying spooks and superstitions going back thousands of years. Whether Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Scientologist, Atheist or Agnostic, we’ve spent a lifetime with these predominant icons and clichés. (Resource: Prof. Bart D. Erhman, “Heaven & Hell”).

So Here’s THE PROBLEM: The current level of fear and outrage is: 

(1) Unjust, imposing and irrational. 

(2) Disproportionate when taken into account a lifetime of harmful Christian propaganda, anti-gay preaching and political advocacy.

(3) Historically inaccurate concerning the existence of “Hell” and who should be scared of going there. 

Think I’m overreacting? 

Examples: 

Institutionalized Homophobia (rhetoric + policy)

Anti-Gay Ministers In Life And Death: Bishop Eddie Long And Rev. Bernice King

Black, gay and Christian, Marylanders struggle with Conflicts

Harlem pastor: 'Obama has released the homo demons on the black man'

Joel Olsteen: Homosexuality is “Not God’s Best”

Bishop Brandon Porter: Gays “Perverted & Lost...The Church of God in Christ Convocation appears like a ‘coming out party’ for members of the gay community.”

Kim Burrell: “That perverted homosexual spirit is a spirit of delusion & confusion and has deceived many men & women, and it has caused a strain on the body of Christ”

Falwell Suggests Gays to Blame for 9-11 Attacks

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

Pope Francis: Gay People Not Welcome in Clergy

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

The Pope and Gay People: Nothing’s Changed

The Catholic church silently lobbied against a suicide prevention hotline in the US because it included LGBT resources

Mormon church prohibits Children of LGBT parents to be baptized

Catholic Charity Ends Adoptions Rather Than Place Kid With Same-Sex Couple

I Was a Religious Zealot That Hurt People-Coming Out as Gay: A Former Conversion Therapy Leader Is Apologizing to the LGBTQ Community

The above short list chronicles a consistent, literal, demonization of LGBTQ people, contempt for their gender presentation, objectification of their bodies/sexuality and a coordinated pollution of media and culture over the last 50+ years by clergy since integration and Civil Rights legislation. Basically terrorism. Popes, Bishops, Pastors, Evangelists, Politicians, Television hosts, US Presidents, Camp Leaders, Teachers, Singers & Entertainers, Coaches, Athletes and Christians of all types all around the world have confused and confounded these issues, suppressed dissent, and confidently lied about LGBT people-including fellow Queer Christians with impunity for generations (i.e. “thou shall not bear false witness against they neighbor” Ex. 23:1-3). Christian majority viewpoints about “laws” and “nature” have run the table in discussions about LGBTQ people in society-so much that we collectively must first consider their religious views in all discussions and the specter of Christian approval -at best or Christian condescension -at worst. That is Christian (and straight) privilege. People are tired of this undue deference to religious opinions. 

That is what is so deliciously bothersome about Lil Nas X being loud, proud and “in your face” about his sexuality. If for just a moment, he not only disrupts the American hetero-patriarchy but specifically the Black hetero-patriarchy, the so-called “Black Church Industrial Complex”, Neo-Christian Fascism and a mostly uneducated (and/or miseducated) public concerning Ancient Near East and European history, superstitions-and (by extension) White Supremacy. To round up: people are losing their minds because the victim decided to speak out against his victimizer. 

Additionally, on some level I believe people are mad at him being just twenty years old, out and FREE as a self-assured, affirming & affirmed QUEER Black male entertainer with money and fame in the PRIME of his life. We’ve never, or rarely, seen that before in a Black man in the music business and popular culture. But that’s just too bad for them. With my own eyes I’ve watched straight people, friends, Christians, enjoy their sexuality from their elementary youth to adolescence, up and through college and later marriages, often times independently of their spouses (repeatedly). Meanwhile Queer/Gay/SGL/LGBTQ people are expected to put their lives on hold while the ‘blessed’ straight people run around exploring premarital/post-marital/extra-marital sex, love and affection, unbound & un-convicted by their “sin” or God...only to proudly rebrand themselves later in life as a good, moral “wholesome Christian” via the ‘sacred’ institution of marriage with no questions asked. 

Inequality defined.

For Lil Nas X, everything about the society we've created for him in the last 100+ years (re: links above) has explicitly been designed for his life not to be his own. According to these and other Christians (see above), his identity is essentially supposed to be an endless rat fuck of internal confusion, suicide-ideation, depression, long-suffering, faux masculinity, heterosexism, groveling towards heaven, respectability politics, failed prayer and supplication to a heteronormative earthly and celestial hierarchy unbothered in affording LGBT people like him a healthy, sane human development. It’s almost as if the Conservative establishment (Black included) needs Lil Nas X to be like others before him: “private”, mysteriously single, suicidal, suspiciously straight or worse, dead of HIV/AIDS ...anything but driving down the street enjoying his youth as a Black Queer artist and man. So they mad about that?

Well those days are over.  

-Rogiérs is a writer, international recording artist, performer and indie label manager with 25+ years in the music industry. He also directs Black Nonbelievers of DC, a non-profit org affiliated with the AHA supporting Black skeptics, Atheists, Agnostics & Humanists. He holds a B.A. in Music Business & Mgmt and a M.A. in Global Entertainment & Music Business from Berklee College of Music and Berklee Valencia, Spain. www.FibbyMusic.net Twitter/IG: @Rogiers1

[samwisethewitch]

What does it mean to be pagan? (Paganism 101 Ch. 1)

That’s right, y’all! With Baby Witch Bootcamp officially wrapped, it’s time to jump into our next long term series! I put out a poll on Patreon, and my patrons voted for Paganism 101 as our next series. While not all witches are pagan and not all pagans are witches, there is a lot of overlap between the two groups. Both witchcraft and paganism offer practitioners a sense of freedom, a deeper connection to the world around them, and a greater awareness of their personal power.

I identify both as a witch and as a pagan, and I get a lot of questions about paganism. In this series, we’ll go through the basics: what it means to be pagan, the difference between a neopagan and a reconstructionist, and the role of magic in different pagan traditions. We’ll also talk about some of the most popular modern pagan traditions and how to find the right tradition for you.

Let’s start off by answering the question, “What does pagan actually mean?”

Defining “Pagan”

It’s important to remember that “pagan” is an umbrella term that encompasses a wide range of different faiths. Someone who practices Wicca, for example, will have very different beliefs from someone who practices Hellenismos. These different faiths are linked by a shared history, rather than by shared beliefs or practices.

The word “pagan” comes from the Latin “paganus,” which literally means “area outside of a city” or, to phrase it slightly differently, “countryside.” This adjective was used to describe people and things that were rustic or rural and, over time, came to also have the connotation of being uneducated. Originally, the word had no religious association, and was even used to refer to non-combatants by the Roman military.

From this definition, we can gain some insight into what makes a religion or practice pagan. Pagans feel a kinship with the wild or rural places of the world, and are comfortable waking “off the beaten path.”

But how did “paganus” come to refer to a type of religion, anyway?

To understand the religious meaning of “paganus,” it’s necessary to understand a little bit about the religion of Ancient Rome. Rome (the city) was built inside a pomerium, a sacred boundary that formed a spiritual border around the city and its people. Paganus folks were those who lived outside the pomerium and, as such, may not have been strict adherents of the state religion — they certainly wouldn’t have been able to travel into the city for every major festival. They may have gotten a bit more creative with their worship of the gods. However, as previously stated, the word paganus did not have an explicitly religious meaning in ancient times.

The use of paganus as a religious label began after the legalization of Christianity by the Roman Emperor Constantine in 313 C.E. Christianity would not be adopted as the official state religion until 380 C.E., but Constantine’s conversion and decriminalization of Christian worship paved the way for Rome’s transformation into a Christian state. It was around this time, as Christianity was quickly growing in urban areas, that early Roman Christians began using the word “paganus” to refer to those who still practiced polytheism. Rather than referring to those outside the city’s boundary or to untrained civilians, the label now referred to those outside the Church, those who were not “soldiers of Christ.”

As Christianity spread in popularity throughout the Mediterranean, Europe, and Northern Africa, the pagan label was applied to all non-Christians in those areas. The word “pagan” became a derogatory label, implying an inferior and backwards religion.

So, really, the thing that makes a religion pagan is a historical conflict with Christianity. Pagan religions are those that were suppressed or completely destroyed after Christianity became the dominant faith in the region.

This is why Norse Paganism and Kemetic (Egyptian) polytheism, which are very different, are both considered “pagan” while Shinto, a Japanese religion that shares a lot of common features with many pagan faiths, is not. Because Christianity never achieved total dominance in Japan, Shinto was never pushed aside to make room for Jesus.

In the 20th century, people who felt drawn to these old religions started to reclaim the pagan label. Like many other reclaimed slurs, “pagan” became a positive label for a community united by their shared history.

What do all pagans have in common?

This is a tough question to answer because, as stated above, paganism is a historical definition, not one shaped by belief or practice. However, there are some things most pagans have in common. Here are a few of them, although these concepts may take different forms in different traditions.

Paganism…

… is (usually) polytheistic. Most pagans do not subscribe to monotheism, the belief in a single, all-powerful divine being. Some pagans are polytheists, meaning they believe in multiple divine beings with varying levels of power. Hellenic pagans, Norse pagans, and Celtic pagans are typically polytheists. Still others are monists, meaning they believe in a single divine source that manifests itself as multiple gods. Wiccans and other neopagans are typically monists. Many pagans fall somewhere in-between strict polytheism and strict monism. We’ll talk more about polytheism in a future post, but for now just know that the idea of a single, supreme creator is not compatible with most forms of paganism.

… is based in reciprocity. This is a concept that may seem odd to those who grew up around Abrahamic religions: the idea of engaging the gods in a mutually beneficial partnership, rather than one-sided worship. When we connect with the gods, we receive spiritual, emotional, and physical blessings. The gods also benefit, as they are strengthened by our prayers and offerings. (I like to think they also enjoy the company. It has to be lonely, having your body of worshipers supplanted by an anarchist carpenter from Palestine.) The concept of reciprocity is why most pagans make physical offerings to their gods.

Reciprocity also extends to our relationships with other people. Most pagan religions have a code of ethics that includes values like hospitality, kindness, and/or fairness with others. Depending on the pagan, reciprocity may even extend to the dead! Many (but not all) pagans practice ancestor worship, the act of honoring and venerating the beloved dead.

Reciprocity may even extend to the world at large. Some (but not all) pagans are animists, which means they believe that every animal, plant, and stone contains its own spirit. Animist pagans strive to live in harmony with the spirits of the world around them, and may make offerings to these spirits as a sign of friendship.

… embraces the Divine Feminine. Paganism acknowledges and venerates both masculine and feminine expressions of divinity. Polytheist pagans worship both gods and goddesses, while monist pagans see the divine Source as encompassing all genders. In either case, the end result is the same: pagans acknowledge that, sometimes, God is a woman. (Cue the Ariana Grande song.)

Paganism also acknowledges gender expressions outside the masculine/feminine binary. Many pagan deities, like Loki (in Norse paganism), Atum (in Kemetic paganism), and Aphroditus (a masculine aspect of the Greek Aphordite) exist somewhere in the grey area between man and woman.

… is compatible with a mystic mindset. Remember how I said there’s a lot of overlap between witchcraft and paganism? Part of the reason for that is because paganism is highly compatible with magic and other mystical practices. Most pagans believe that humans have, or can attain, some level of divine power. It makes sense that this power would manifest as magic, or as other spiritual abilities. Many of the ancient cultures modern paganism draws inspiration from practiced magic in some form, so it follows that modern pagans would as well.

… draws inspiration from the ancient stories. As we discussed, “pagan” originally referred to the religious groups that were pushed out by Christian hegemony. As a result, every modern pagan is a little bit of a historian. Because paganism was pushed underground, it takes a little digging to find myths, rituals, and prayers that can be used or adapted for modern practice.

Many pagans worship historic deities that you’ve probably read about at some point. Visit any pagan pride event, and you’ll probably find worshipers of Zeus, Venus, Thor, and Isis, just to name a few. Studying and interpreting ancient mythology and archaeological evidence is a big part of modern paganism.

… is a religion with homework. If you’ve read this far, you may be beginning to realize that being pagan is a lot of work. It’s fun, spiritually fulfilling, and very rewarding work, but work all the same. Because very few modern pagans have access to temples, priests and priestesses, or an in-person community that shares their beliefs, they end up having to teach themselves, do their own research, and guide their own practice.

This is incredibly empowering, as it means you are your own religious authority. It does, however, mean that you will occasionally have to open a book or slog through a dense academic article about the most recent archaeological find related to your favorite deity. Thankfully, there’s a growing number of accessible, beginner-friendly books, blogs, podcasts, and YouTube channels to help you in your research.

… embodies a deep respect for the natural world. While not all pagans are animists, most pagans do feel some sort of reverence for the forces of nature. Many pagan deities are associated with natural forces or use the natural world to communicate with their followers. Because of this, not only do pagans respect and love nature, but they’re constantly watching it for signs and messages. (Are you really friends with a pagan if they haven’t called you crying because they found a crow feather on the ground or saw a woodpecker in their backyard?)

Some pagan groups, especially neopagan religions like Wicca, have been classified as Earth-centered religions. Personally, I dislike this term. While it is true that many pagans feel a deep spiritual connection to the Earth and may even venerate local nature spirits, to say that these religions are “Earth-centered” feels like an oversimplification. Wiccans, for example, don’t actually worship nature — they worship the God and Goddess, who they see reflected in the natural world.

… is driven by individual spiritual practice. As mentioned above, very few pagans have access to an in-person community. Because of this, modern paganism largely consists of individual practices. Even pagans who do belong to a community still typically worship on their own sometimes. These personal practices may involve prayer, offerings to the gods, meditation, divination, astral travel, performing religious rituals, or countless other practices. Many pagans have personal altars in their homes, where they worship alone or with their family.

… is a celebration of daily life. One thing I love about paganism is how it makes every aspect of my life feel sacred. Many religions emphasize the spiritual aspects of life while deemphasizing, or even demonizing, the physical or mundane aspects. This can lead to practitioners feeling like they are spiritual beings trapped in a physical body, or like their physical needs and desires are something to escape.

Paganism allows practitioners to fully enjoy being physical and spiritual beings. Pagans reach for the heights of spiritual awareness, while also enjoying earthly delights — recognizing that neither is inherently more worthy than the other and that both are needed for a balanced life.

… is only one of many paths to Truth. Most pagan groups do not claim to be the only valid religious path, and in fact several openly acknowledge the validity of other religions. This is why you rarely see pagans trying to convert other people to paganism — it’s openly acknowledged that paganism isn’t for everyone, and that those who are truly meant to practice the old ways will find them.

~~~

Hopefully, this post has given us a good working definition of “paganism.” From here, we’ll explore some of these individual concepts in more depth and discuss specific religions within the pagan umbrella. Until then, blessed be.

Resources:

Wicca for Beginners by Thea Sabin

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham

A Witches’ Bible by Janet and Stewart Farrar

The Way of Fire and Ice by Ryan Smith

Where the Hawthorn Grows by Morgan Daimler

Temple of the Cosmos by Jeremy Naydler

A Practical Guide to Irish Spirituality by Lora O’Brien

[earthstellar]

I think it definitely depends on how a person personally and otherwise may define a "fatherly figure" or "fatherly behaviours" etc.

Like in G1, in the USA, a lot of what Optimus says and does (and how he says and does it) could easily be interpreted by a North American audience as being "fatherly".

For example, the way he makes "dad jokes" here and there, or how he does casual activities with other bots (like playing ball etc.) between missions might come across as an average American 80s suburban dad coming home from work and playing driveway basketball with his kids.

However, like you mention, translation and language/culture can also factor in. If Optimus was called "big brother" in your dub, then of course, he's more likely to come across as a big brother! :)

And it's worth noting most Transformers media is very USA-centric, with implied "dad-like behaviours" that simply don't read as such to other people.

If someone is from a culture where fathers are typically depicted as very prone to displays of physical affection with their kids, then Optimus may not come across as very fatherly in most continuities, since we rarely see him hug others (although it does happen here and there in G1).

I'm focusing on G1 here, so I'm not getting too much into other continuities.

But I think another thing is worth mentioning: Time!

G1 was made by people who grew up in the 60s and 70s, and based a lot of Optimus' "dad energy" on what they considered positive experiences with their own dads and male role models in their youth.

Some staff were fathers themselves, and wanted Optimus to show good, mature, leader-like traits for kids to emulate. Peter Cullen based his performance for Optimus off of his older brother, who was an important figure in his life and captured those positive leadership traits.

As time goes on, generations change, society changes, and what is considered "fatherly" or "mature" or even "masculine" all exists on a sliding scale.

In the 80s, the fun-loving post-WW2 good natured silly but firm father was still the main Dad Archetype in the USA, even though that type of "fatherly leader" character was developed (and for some, experienced) from the 50s-70s.

Oftentimes, that archetype had evolved out of the immediately prior literal WW2 fictional depictions of strong field leaders who were "fathers to their men". Unit leaders acting as fathers away from home for young troops.

This trope was often part of "comfort stories" back home, to reassure families that commanders were looking after their sons at war. (It also helped propagandise the military and improve public perception and empathy for armed forces, coincidentally. Sigh.)

So that history of the archetype is worth keeping in mind; Father doesn't necessarily mean a dad in western (and some other regional) media tropes, but it can also refer to a good commander who looks after the wellbeing of his troops and may even engage in self-sacrificial behaviours if needed to save his troops or his mission.

And that definition of "father" makes a little more sense when thinking about Optimus Prime-- But it's pretty specific to a lot of WW2 English language media and stories which may not have been relevant or culturally applicable in other regions, although almost every country on Earth has some version of the "fatherly military man" archetype.

So compare the sillier, more open G1 Prime to TFP's Prime, made for later generations who mostly grew up with a lot less overall stability in the world (Cold War aside) and which had Gen X staff involved-- Who had different cultural and media tropes in mind, and different (but perhaps similar) ideas of good leadership qualities, etc. when compared to the writers for G1.

Optimus in TFP is about controlled (but very present) emotions, he provides a sense of stability to his team, he is always a present figure, he displays patience and politeness, and generally may embody "dad energy" in a way that makes more sense when compared to both the "father to his men" wartime trope archetype AND the 80s USA Yuppie parent style which the Gen X writers would have grown up with themselves:

TFP Optimus may be emotionally distant or occupied at times, is not physically affectionate, and is often socially somewhat distant as well, but he is professional and a good leader which the Autobots can rely on and the younger bots can look up to and emulate in positive ways.

And to the USA audience, that may come across as more "fatherly" to many people, compared to if he was more engaged. Which is probably somewhat sad, but true.

Growing up Back in the Day lol, I knew tons of kids whose fathers never hugged them and never spoke to them, but would still take a day off work and show up at school to physically fight a teacher if they found out their kid was being bullied in class.

When you grow up with that kind of thing as your social and cultural model for "being a dad", then grow up to write Transformers media, you'll probably end up putting a little bit of that into your interpretation of Optimus-- Because Optimus is supposed to be a positive mostly masculine coded figure of authority, and a lot of people will think of their dads, since that fits the description for a lot of people.

So personally I don't think of Optimus as a father, but I do think of him as a father-like figure to bots who need to see that in him, and otherwise as a compassionate leader. The "father to his men" type of military fiction archetype, rather than a literal dad.

But everyone will have a different take, influenced by a lot of things! :)

The G1 writers captured the vibe of post-WW2 American stability with more of a fun but wise and experienced role model energy for Optimus.

The Gen X writers for later shows grew up in a much more high intensity world with global and domestic politics starting to hit major shifts, so their Optimus tends to be written as a source of silent, stoic stability for the bots who are stuck without a clear future.

It's possible to read "dad energy" into any version of Optimus if someone wants to, but it will vary a lot.

Like I said, I see him as "fatherly" in the "idealised compassionate military role model" way, but for others it varies from series to series, and for others they might always see Optimus as one role or another.

Transformers stuff is written mostly in America by mostly Americans, so some of the "dad vibes" may not translate, or might translate in different ways.

Even to the USA audience, I think it's highly generational and dependent on what one considers to be "fatherly" and in what ways.

It's not that Optimus was ever explicitly written to be dad-like, but rather, what people perceive as dad-like may vary, and some TF media does lean into depicting Optimus as more relatively fatherly while other shows etc. don't.

---

I didn't talk about any other TF media here, but hopefully comparing G1 and TFP sort of helps get across what I'm trying to say! :)

Anyway my lunch break is over now, sorry if any of this is incoherent, not well stated, or repetitive; I typed this all out on my phone LOL

A popular thing I can never get behind in the TF fandom is somehow Optimus is always The Dad Figure TM? None of the continuities I’ve read/watched has ever given me that vibe. Mentor figure, sure. Older brother. That weird cross between older brother and father. The dubbed version of G1 in my country literally has the Autobots calling him “big brother” so I guess that affects my impression. 

Like honestly the closest I can relate to Dad!Optimus is the Optimus in tfp and idw, and that’s more like, a patriarch. A father in the sense kings are fathers to their people. Bayverse OP also falls a little into this category. They care a lot for their Autobots, there’s love and friendship and devotion, but they’re also distanced by the weight of leadership. The duty of Prime (and all the baggage that comes with it), always comes first, before any personal connections. 

The rest: Cyberverse Optimus is def big brother. Tfa OP is a young guy in over his head and trying to herd cats. Wfc OP is vulnerable both physically and emotionally, stubborn but in constant need of reassurance; Bumblebee’s mental state is more stable than his. 

[thebigwhatif]

Shadow and Bone: A Rant

With the new Netflix series coming out, my social media has been flooded with Shadow and Bone content. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for the show, and I like Leigh Bardugo as an author and I thought Six of Crows was phenomenal but Shadow and Bone was disappointing for me to say the least. And here is why.

Disclaimer: If you like the book and the story and I am all for that, and I am not trying to put down anyone that likes the series. I liked the magic system in the story and the world-building was really good.

But there were concrete things that as an individual who is of Russian descent and grew up with the culture, that just SHATTERED my suspension of disbelief and took me out of the story entirely. In the end, I couldn't finish the series. So without further ado, in descending order of what bothered me the most to least:

1) The character Privet.

So for a book that takes elements from the Slavic cultures and Eastern European languages using this was jarring. Privet literally translates to 'Hi' from Russian. So reading "Hello, Privet" in book two literally translated in my mind to "Hello, hi" which is ridiculous and just broke my suspension of disbelief. I tried reading through the part, but it was so jarring that I quit the book. Not even Nikolai, who I really really liked, could save it for me.

2) The Grammar of the Ravkan Language.

I can't speak for all Slavic languages, I only know Russian so I am going to speak mostly in reference to that.

So for context Russian, like French or Spanish, is a gendered language. It's a bit different from French in that it has 3 types of pronouns: the feminine, masculine, and ungendered. And depending on the gender of your object you would change the ending of the previous word (such as an adjective) to match it.

(So for example: Sky is ungendered in Russian, so if you want to say blue sky you would use the ungendered version of the word blue. )

In Ravkan, what ended up happening was that Leigh mashed different words of different genders together so it sounds grammatically incorrect. And you might say its grammar it's no big deal, but I'll counter with: "I am become a blade"

We all make fun of Mal for getting that tattoo because to an English speaker that is intuitively incorrect so it sounds bad. I got the same level of cringe every time I read Skanta Ilya Morozova.

To break that down:

Ilya is a male name.

Sankta: ends with an A so female-gendered

Morozova: ends with an A so female-gendered.

Russian last names change ending depending on if you are a male or female. So Morozov (male) vs Morozova (female); Volkov (male) vs Volkova (female) and so on.

So having this compound of Sankta (that's setting up my mind to expect a female name) Ilya (a male name. I'm thinking okay that's kind of weird but I'll go with it) Morozova (female again? So now I'm confused did Leigh think Ilya is a female name?)

Reading that kind of stuff over and over again is like getting hit with "I am become a blade" type grammar over and over again. It's cringy, it sounds wrong, just no. I ask that Leigh would take at least 2 seconds to do the basic research on this gendering system or ask a Slavic language speaker about this. It would have been a quick fix (just add or take away the 'a' at the end) and would have shown that she took the time to research and respect the language. And it would not alienate a whole group of readers like myself.

3) Kvas.

This is another thing that just took me out of the story, and considering that this happened in the first chapter that's pretty bad. In the book, Kvas was portrayed as an alcoholic drink that the soldiers were drinking to get drunk and to 'warm up' during the winter. And just...no.

Kvas is a real drink. Also, Kvas has an alcohol content of 1.5%. Sure if it stands in the heat for a while and ferments the alcohol content can go up to 2.5% but still, you would have to drink A LOT of it to get drunk and you sure won't be "warming up" from it like you would with whisky or vodka. To put this into context you can buy Kvas at grocery stores in North America without needing an ID and kids can drink it without getting drunk (kefir has an alcohol content of 2.5% FYI).

Kvas is a very popular drink in Russia, and people drink it in the summer. It's like the Russian version of America's Iced Tea.

So now she takes a real drink that exists that she had access to and just what? Makes it something else? Especially something that is so common in the Slavic countries that's virtually ubiquitous there?

This was also an easy fix: describe Kvas as it is. If you wanted them drunk have them drink vodka. If you wanted them warm to warm up but not be drunk have them drink tea (if you didn't know tea also a popular drink in Russia). Either of those would be more realistic alternatives that wouldn't shatter the suspension of disbelief for me because now I would have to take time and think "WTF? Did she really mean that or did I misread that?"

If you've read this far down, thanks for reading my rant. Once again I want to reiterate I have nothing against anyone that likes the books or the series. I think that Leigh is an amazing writer and I'm really excited for the Shadow and Bone show (but mainly because of the Crows lol). It's just that seeing these kinds of things in the Shadow and Bone book really upset me because, to be honest, Russia is always portrayed as the 'bad guy' in popular media. They are always the villain, Russia is always portrayed grey and cold and dirty and everyone there is a drunk, and growing up in North America being from Russia watching that really sucked because I identify with that culture, I'm from that country, I know the language, and often times what they show on TV is just wrong. I was excited to see a Slavic-inspired world because I don't usually see that in fantasy or other media and it was just handled so badly. So, I was a bit disappointed when reading the books. Hopefully, the show is better on that front but we will see.

[fleurlibelle]

𝕸𝖊𝖊𝖙  𝕵𝖔𝖊𝖑 𝕸𝖈𝕭𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊

@geeky-simz | Bachelorette Challenge

Hey Meg,

I’m Joel McBride. By profession, I’m the Chief Master Sergeant of the Airforce (CMSAF) in Windenburg, originally I’m from Scotland, and I grew up in the countryside. Just sending this quickly ahead, I have no issues moving to the air force base at Magnolia Promenade.  Well, what should I say about me? I’m a very ambitious man and achieved at a very young age the highest rank in the Airforce. Career is set in stone. Yes, I have a bucket list, and the next goal is to claim my lady. I’m a family man because I grew up in a big family. McBride’s are very fertile, twins are highly possible. I don’t have a twin for myself, sadly [or not “smirks”], but I have two brothers Owen and Declan, who are twins, and my sisters Addison and Pippa. I’m the oldest and a unique bean in the fam, I guess. [chuckles]. Did I mention that I’m the most handsome one in my fam? Fact.

It’s hard to copy me, you know. Of course, I know I’m handsome. Listen, I work hard for my looks: Swimming, cycling, hiking, and fitness, in general, is my thing. At some point, I also want to explore Japanese culture. Mount Komorebi is on my bucket list, too. I love to travel. Don’t worry if you can’t cook, I can cook up and bake something nice. So if you can’t make a good Ramen, how about we replace it with fresh Sushi? I’m better at Gourmet Cooking. Photography is an another passion of mine. 

Some call me cocky or arrogant, but hey, I just know my value and the lady next to me? If she’s a smart bean, she will appreciate what I have to give. I call it, let's say: self-confidence. Aaah, and look, I don’t feel embarrassed at any time. This is an overrated feeling. I don’t have time to waste on such nonsense emotions. Maybe you would like me to mention that I’ve been told to be a great kisser? [smirks] But you can judge yourself, whenever you are ready. 

Why Bachelorette? I’m ready to settle down, and I’m a very loyal soul once I have the lady next to me who is spontaneous and loves to explore the world a bit. Even with kids, my parents did that with us too. They are my role-model. Chicks out there are still not really willing to settle, but I am. Many judge me by my cover and say that I would be a player. I’m not that type of man. It’s not efficient and a waste of time to deal with too many flat characters. So I’m here, and I want to see how far I can get? 

What do you think? Can I get a step closer to my dream and start maybe a fam with you, beautiful Meg? 

If you are self-confident and if you know how to fire back? I’m in, I love that when women are confident enough to show off proud their man. Simply because I love to be proud of showing off my lady. If that feeling is mutual? I’m all yours, hun.

Oh, did I mention that I love to wear a kilt? Well, it’s a tradition in my country where I’m from. Don’t worry, babe! I’m a true man. Just wondering if you will be able to handle my confidence. As I’m blunt and honest, too. I don’t like lies. If something bothers you? Spill the beans into my face, and we will see if we can rock it together, okay?

Meg, Imagine me taking shots of you in your garden, amongst flowers, only to capture you as the most beautiful flower.

You like video games and sports? Damn lady, this is hot. Too bad, I have no clue about video games, but you can teach me, right? Trust me, in no time, I will beat you [laughs]. Are you up for a challenge? Now you know who you're dealing with. Can you tame and handle my manhood? Ready for the best time of your life? If yes, join me. *winks. And if we don’t make it? That’s life and we keep on moving, right?

Basics and personality-related must-know about Joel can be found undercut.

BASICS

age:32 | Gemini height: 6′3 Nationality: Scottish Parents: Mother: “Lauren McBride”, 50 yrs | Father: “Calum McBride”, 54 yrs. Both scottish. raised hometown: Windenburg current hometown: Windenburg Profession:  Chief Master Sergeant of the Airforce

PERSONALITY

Traits: Ambitious, Self-Confident and Athletic Skills: Charisma 10 | Photography 5 | Fitness 9 | Baking 7 | Groumet Food 5 | Aspiration: Big Family Hidden Traits: Shameless | Gymrat |  Observant | Morning Sim |Great Kisser | Fertile. Dreams: Having a big happy family like his parents. Retire soon and starting his own business as soon he earns 1 Billion Simoleons. What he wants to do? Well maybe a Photo-Studio? He saved already half a million, a hard workin’ man! Communication: Blunt, upfront, can be easily viewed as cocky and arrogant. Shameless, nope he won’t feel any embarrassment. “Whatever” that’s what he thinks and he moves on.

Loves

“Nature is wonderful, I love to inhale the air.”

“Nothing is better than fresh Orange Juice for breakfast, period”

“I love all sorts of music”

“Give me Sushi, Buffalo Chicken or Pizza and I’m a happy man [chuckles]

“In my free time, I’m mostly casual, yet I like it elegant.”

“Everything that is considered as masculine, I’m in”. I’m not gonna carry your bag, sorry, not sorry babe. [raises eyebrow]”

After I retire I would not mind to get some piercings. Lips? Eyebrows? Don’t know yet but because of my profession I can’t do this right now.

“I love to be the Alpha but don’t mind if my women is able to tame me at times [smiles]” You should be quick-witted, I’m not boring at all.

“I live by the quote “Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.”

Dislikes

“Oh prejudices, I don’t like to judge and be judged by the cover, simple as that.”

“Small-Minded People, aren’t they horrible?”

“ Raising voice when arguing. If you’re mad, talk to me, be furious, or angry but don’t raise your voice or use insults as a weapon and form of communication. I hate drama, and I will shut down and not talk to you until you realize this is not the right way of communication. I don’t need it. I understand if there is a conflict. Let’s find a solution to how we can solve it that we are both happy again. Or long-term, it won’t work with us. I was raised to respect and be respected. That’s what you really need to keep in mind if you want to argue with me [winks]” 

I don’t smoke if you do, you better stop poisoning your lunges” I need a healthy lady.

Swimming poses are by wonderful @katverse Thank you so much! They are really cool. Other poses are by MOC.

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