#when we go out in public and talk to other people they're GREAT listeners!

[crowtongued]

{--Its fan-fucking-tastic being part of a family where everyone just constantly interrupts and shows 0 respect for anything that you have to say and takes over every conversation but God forbid you tell them how rude they are and walk from the conversation so they hunt you down across several rooms just to argue about how how awful you are and gaslight and tell you how you’re the one who doesn’t know how to talk to people and show respect because “you only talk to people on the internet and everyone online is a crazy extremist and they don’t count as real people”. Like excuse the fuck out of me. Must totally be that, when the only arguments I have with people I talk to online are “No, sorry for interrupting, you go first” when trying to speak at the same time. Like wow the internet has taught me to be so rude that I sit and listen to your stupid fucking monologue about the grocery store for 2 hours and then expect to actually be able to finish a single sentence without you redirecting to something else you deem as more important than whatever I had to say, even though I haven’t said anything for 2 hours! The problem must be me!--}

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

[astonmartinii]

you gotta look out for the quiet ones | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem musician!reader

a surprise appearance from y/n in the formula one paddock raises some questions, but the rumour mill will never guess who she's there to see...

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

note: olivia rodrigo is the face claim but i'll be pulling from her music as well as taylor swift!

f1

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 2,439,677 others

tagged: yourusername

f1: there's paddock guests and there's paddock guests, y/n y/ln is here for the bahrain grand prix!

view comments

user1: MOTHER WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

user2: this is not what i expected to see this friday morning

user3: okay i've only ever heard of y/n y/ln through others but like she must be dedicated to be there for friday as well

user4: certified y/n superfan here! y/n has always said she's a massive fan of f1 - she hasn't been asked about it recently but when she was last asked about it she said she grew up loving jenson button!

jensonbutton: @yourusername i see you have amazing taste

yourusername: how could i not love the playboy of f1?

user3: okay she knows what she's talking about, i guess it's time to have a little listen to her music

user5: okay so what garage is she going to be in?

user6: ferrari 🤞🏻

user7: did we not just see this ^^^ she's clearly going to be in the mclaren garage

user8: if she has any sense she'll be in the mercedes garage with sir lewis hamilton

user9: what about the literal world champions?

user10: shut the fuck up (i would like to see max blush and stutter tho)

user11: i love how y/n said she's taking a year off of music after her tour and we're immediately seeing her here, there and everywhere

user12: living her true sports nerd life and i love that for her

landonorris: i promise that mclaren have the best hospitality xx

user13: oh brother are we about to see some lando norris snapchat u up flirting?

alexalbon: this is tragic

georgerussell63: make sure you don't tell her about the massive poster you had of her that you practiced kissing on!

georgerussell63: whoops!

landonorris: i am in your walls george

user14: well.. that was something, i don't think we'll see her in the mclaren garage anytime soon now

logansargeant: @oscarpiastri i hope you brought your vinyl to be signed

oscarpiastri: i didn't want to risk it on the plane, it's limited edition 😔

user15: wait so oscar is also a y/n fan ???

user16: not this mclaren battle for y/n's attention

user17: lets be real, there's no competition here - there's no way she wouldn't choose lando

user18: i'm tired of you people sleeping on oscar (pun intended)

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 21,309,784 others

yourusername: i had so much fun the first time round, i thought i'd come by again

view all comments

user25: okayyyy i thought the girlies on twitter were delusional but the second race in a row ... i fear there's another incentive

user26: once again, she's been a massive fan of the sport and has a ton of disposable money why wouldn't she go to a load of races?

landonorris: can't wait to see you again this weekend, i'll get you that win i promised

alexalbon: nurse he's talking to himself again

georgerussell63: this is crazy thirsting to do in front of 21 million people

landonorris: i assure you i'll be the one with the last laugh here

maxverstappen1: sure you will buddy, it's good to see you so confident

user27: are they gentle parenting lando?

user28: bro is about to get his heart broken they're actually being good friends

user29: idk i think he's still the one in the paddock with the best shot

user30: i gotta get this delusion all lando fans seem to have

carlossainz55: i think you'd look great in red ❤️

charles_leclerc: oh gosh....

carlossainz55: they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason, just sit back and watch the magic

maxverstappen1: you fucking morons do realise you're proclaiming this in a PUBLIC instagram comment section that everyone INCLUDING y/n can see?

user31: this is a mess ... keep going!

oscarpiastri: i celebrated my win here in 2021 with the release of sour - i know you're on a sabbatical but any chance of a surprise single?

user32: yall getting on lando and carlos for their bad flirting when oscar is stinking up the gaff with his attempts

yourusername: i'm so sorry to tell you this but no surprise single, but i can show you some demos?

oscarpiastri: please, please, please! good 4 u is my scream in the car song

user33: i just know oscar was streaming traitor when his DRS failed for the ten billionth time

oscarpiastri: it went platinum in my car yes

yourusername: i imagine it's even better at 200mph

oscarpiastri: i'd be happy to show you anytime

yourusername: carpool karaoke x hot laps when?

oscarpiastri: name a time and i'm there

user34: why is oscar trying so hard bro she's not going to choose you

user35: and yet he's the only one she replied to ... makes you think

user36: you guys are miserable because i'd literally do anything to see them singing in a car together

oscarpiastri

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 832,988 others

oscarpiastri: jeddah you were okay i guess

view all comments

user37: holy soft launch

user38: and right after flirting up a storm with Y/N Y/LN

user39: first of all, oscar is a fan of y/n so it could've definitely been from a platonic point of view

user40: it has to be platonic cause bro had no chance to start with and has a gf ???

landonorris: i'm sorry what is this ?

oscarpiastri: an instagram post, would hope you would know what that is if you're already on the app

landonorris: don't get smart with me mister

oscarpiastri: you got smart first 🤨

landonorris: what happened to my sweet rookie?

oscarpiastri: he's still 23 years old ?

landonorris: i need to meet this mystery woman who has seemed to give you all this sass

user41: prema girlies know that this sass has always been here

user42: but i'm glad it's coming out in f1

yourusername: okay i guess? you slayed mr piastri and i won't hear anything less than that

oscarpiastri: okay it was a bit of a slay

yourusername: a bit?

oscarpiastri: a big slay then

yourusername: stop talking down on yourself otherwise you'll have me to deal with

oscarpiastri: that is not the threat you think it is

yourusername: it's not a threat it's a promise x

user43: excuse me what the fuck was that ^

user44: i can't tell if they're flirting or if y/n just feels sorry for him?

user45: they did get coffee like once this weekend so maybe they're just friends

user46: they have to be because there's no way that is y/n in this soft launch

user47: there's no way oscar piastri could woo the y/n y/ln idk why people are even suggesting it

user48: and i think even flirting with her is a bit weird considering his teammate has made it so obvious he likes her

user49: oscar doesn't seem to be the type to step on toes but we'll see

logansargeant: if that's who i think it is i am going to fight you for not telling me straight up

oscarpiastri: i'll meet you in the parking lot i guess

logansargeant: be there or be square

user50: what does logan know that we don't ???

f1tea

liked by user52, user53 and 11,209 others

f1tea: now she's attended THREE races in a row, i think it's okay to start the conversation about her being with one of the drivers... so here's our theories!

lando: he's been on this train the longest and has the old thirst tweets to back it up. he's been spotted talking to her numerous times at races and has been camping in her comment section since bahrain

carlos: he has also been in her comments since bahrain and has been seen with her in the paddock - less than lando but y/n has worn red a couple times in the paddock so??

lewis: y/n was blushing up a storm when they were spotted together and i honestly think if the age gap wasn't so big they would be so cute together

liam: an outside shout but this guy was stuck to her side the whole time she was at red bull

charles: they have spoken a lot in the paddock, i don't think it's him but omg imagine them together

view all comments

user54: not this oscar erasure - i.e. the only driver she's actually interacted with online

user55: if it's oscar i will literally streak across the track at the next race

user56: admin snuck liam in there like we wouldn't notice

user57: idk why they think that liam is a better shout than oscar

user58: i think all the fangirling from oscar defo put him straight into the friend zone

user59: idk about you guys but i've actually listened to y/n's music and her album after her last breakup suggests that she might like someone who appreciates her craft and publicly supports her

user60: yeah but she also deserves a boyfriend that's on her level

user61: oscar is a literal f1 driver?

user60: yeah but he's not cute enough

user62: to YOU

user63: omg just say you have no taste and bounce gosh

user64: how did lando become a frontrunner in this?

user65: i think because he's liked her the longest? and has been the most insistent

user66: i hate to say this but just because you like someone and said it first, does not mean you are entitled to actually date them

user67: i will laugh my ass off if she's not with any of these fools

user68: bro took a year off of music to have some fun and now is linked to everyone and their mum

user69: unfortunately this is the way it goes although if she does become a wag (tho be real, whoever is with her is the wag) i shall be enjoying her paddock outfits

user70: carlos vs oscar i think i've seen this film before

user71: oh trust me off track there is no competition

user72: you people are so mean

user73: oscar will win again, mark my words. i'm not sure if carlos can cry to the fia about that tho

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 23,874,093 others

yourusername: getting the real aussie experience down under

view all comments

user74: AHHHHHHHHHH A MAN

user75: who the fuck wears jeans on a hammock she needs to run away from this man he's clearly a psychopath

maxverstappen1: you went to see quokkas without me??? does our friendship mean nothing ???

yourusername: it's not considered normal to invite friends to a date

maxverstappen1: boring. i will remember this when you try and get some red bull from our hospitality

yourusername: nO PLEASE

maxverstappen1: no, for this you must suffer through the piss they put in monster cans

this comment was deleted

maxverstappen1: well you should've thought more of our friendship :P

yourusername: you are impossible. no more limited edition merch for you

maxverstappen1: WHAT

user76: for all this love life speculation i am loving this max and y/n friendship

user77: but... the monster comment... it has to be lando right? monster sponsor mclaren

user78: i think this is the most confirmation we're getting right now

user79: they're so cute

oscarpiastri: i am glad the homeland is treating you well :)

yourusername: i've only had one scary insect encounter so win!

oscarpiastri: we'll have to get you some real australian delicacies this weekend

yourusername: i've heard of grandma's baking so i'm excited!

oscarpiastri: we've got a tupperware box with your name on it

yourusername: ugh i love you guys

user80: the monster comment pointed to mclaren but there's only one of them in the comments...

user81: i mean this is a soft launch so it would make sense that lando wouldn't comment if they're trying to throw people off of their scent

user82: the mental gymnastics you people are doing is insane

user83: literally just admit that your driver just doesn't have the sauce like that

user84: and oscar piastri does???

user85: STOP SLEEPING ON HIM HE'S LITERALLY GETTING HER HOME-BAKED GOODS

oscarpiastri

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,349,761 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: home win means more than you could ever know. and you can stop theorising now, i may be a nerd but i've still got game.

view all comments

user89: HHAHHHAHHAHAHAHHA THAT'S MY AUSSIE

user90: stunting his stunning gf on all these delusional fangirls

yourusername: now i can finally say it: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU

yourusername: and i'm proud of you

yourusername: forever and always

oscarpiastri: maybe i was so fast because i knew there was a literal angel waiting for me back in my garage

yourusername: oh so the other races i came to i just didn't look good enough for you to win :(

oscarpiastri: NO NO NO you're always the most beautiful woman in any room

oscarpiastri: but this time you're wearing my jersey and my name

yourusername: i guess i'll never take it off again

oscarpiastri: you might not take it off, but that doesn't mean i won't

yourusername: ehhhehehhehheeh hurry up in debrief :P

user91: oscar piastri i am so sorry i was not familiar with your game

user92: i for one had complete faith in that bumbling fool

yourusername: as you should, he may have stuttered through the lines, but he's one smooth operator

carlossainz55: that's my nickname? please stop rubbing salt in the wound

yourusername: it was better than your attempts. and better than whatever the fuck you've been doing on the track - keep your dumptruck away from oscar

user93: y/n defending oscar, consider me moved

user94: okay fave celeb couple just dropped

landonorris: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEING GOING ON? HOW LONG HAVE YOU LET ME FLIRT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND? HOW DID I LOSE TO YOU?

yourusername: watch your tone.

landonorris: sorry???

oscarpiastri: we've been together nearly a year. i didn't 'let' you flirt with my girlfriend i tried to tell you but you ignored me at every turn. you didn't lose to me, there was never any competition.

yourusername: best year of my life 🫶 and lando i tried to tell you, maybe listen to oscar for once 😭

oscarpiastri: awwwwww i love you 😘

yourusername: i love you too osc xx

user95: not them dancing on lando's dead body 😭

logansargeant: I FUCKING KNEW IT YOU SON OF A BITCH

oscarpiastri: never doubt me again eagle boy

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 35,609, 451 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: if you saw me ugly crying on live tv - no you didn't. i'm so proud of you osc, my beautiful boy.

view all comments

user96: i think y/n was all of us

user97: absolutely screaming at all of the y/n fans on twitter having a meltdown and trying to figure out how f1 works

user98: this was me, am i really going to learn about tyre compounds because y/n is dating a driver? yes!

maxverstappen1: i am very happy for you both but enjoy the win while it lasts oscar i have a score to settle after being ABANDONED on the quokka date

yourusername: once again it was a DATE which is for the two people in the relationship, not the weird third guy with attachment issues

maxverstappen1: well jokes on you i do have attachment issues and now i've latched onto you and oscar which means you're contractually obligated to come to every race now

yourusername: ok?

oscarpiastri: it's okay max with our combined powers, y/n will have to stick around she hates making us sad

yourusername: it's true :(

user99: not lando fumbling yet another lead

yourusername: he never had a chance to begin with

oscarpiastri: 😆

user100: this is another level of teammate psychological warfare

landonorris: i am a victim of a smear campaign

oscarpiastri: smear campaign being you flirting with my girlfriend after she told you she had a boyfriend

landonorris: I DIDN'T HEAR HER

yourusername: i said it multiple times 🤨 and SOFT LAUNCHED OSCAR AND YOU STILL TRIED

georgerussell63: looks like it's back to the poster now lando

yourusername: and for the record ^^ this is very creepy

landonorris: THAT WAS LIKE TEN YEARS AGO

alexalbon: that's what you want us to think ...

user101: i am screaming at them rubbing it in lando's face

user102: kind of deserved LOL but funny nonetheless

oscarpiastri: all things aside, i'm so glad you could be there for my first win! i love you so much and can't wait to spend there rest of my life with you, even if it means my teammate flirts with you everyday

yourusername: i love you too osc, i'm sure you'll win so many more

oscarpiastri: i'm counting on it ;)

landonorris: I AM SORRY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT

yourusername: you gonna let oscar have the upgrades first?

landonorris: no?

yourusername: then i will guilt you at every corner 🤨

fin. i know, i know. guilty as sin is coming but i just wanted to get this out. i had to come home from silverstone early cause of a mechanical dnf (foot stopped working and had heat stroke and a cold at the same time). but i had a great time while i was there and met a load of drivers with lando and alex signing my hat !!!!!

[foone]

Look if there's one thing, just one thing, that I wish everyone understood about archiving, it's this:

We can always decide later that we don't need something we archived.

Like, if we archive a website that's full of THE WORST STUFF, like it turns out it's borderline illegal bot-made spam art, we can delete it. Gone.

We can also chose not to curate. You can make a list of the 100 Best Fanfic and just quietly not link to or mention the 20,000 RPFs of bigoted youtubers eating each other. No problem!

We can also make things not publicly available. This happens surprisingly often: like, sometimes there'll be a YouTube channel of alt-right bigotry that gets taken down by YouTube, but someone gives a copy to the internet archive, and they don't make it publicly available. Because it might be useful for researchers, and eventually historians, it's kept. But putting it online for everyone to see? That's just be propaganda for their bigotry. So it's hidden, for now. You can ask to see it, but you need a reason.

And we can say all these things, we can chose to delete it later, we can not curate it, we can hide it from public view... But we only have these options BECAUSE we archived it.

If we didn't archive it, we have no options. It is gone. I'm focusing on the negative here, but think about the positive side:

What if it turns out something we thought was junk turns out to be amazing new art?

What if something we thought of as pointless and not worth curating turns out to be influential?

What if something turns out to be of vital historical importance, the key that is used to solve a great mystery, the Rosetta stone for an era?

All of those things are great... If we archived it when we could.

Because this is an asymmetric problem:

If we archived it and it turns out it's not useful, we can delete.

If we didn't archive it and it turns out it is useful, OOPS!

You can't unlose something that's been lost. It's gone. This is a one way trip, it's already fallen off the cliff. Your only hope is that you're wrong about it being lost, and there is actually still a copy somewhere. If it's truly lost, your only option is to build a time machine.

And this has happened! There are things lost, so many of them that we know of, and many more we don't know of. There are BOOKS OF THE BIBLE referenced in the canon that simply do not exist anymore. Like, Paul says to go read his letter to the Laodiceans, and what did that letter say? We don't know. It's gone.

The most celebrated playwright in the English tradition has plays that are just gone. You want to perform or watch Love's Labours Won? TOO FUCKING BAD.

Want to watch Lon Cheyney's London After Midnight, a mystery-horror silent film from 1927? TOO BAD. The MGM vault burnt down in 1965 and the last known copy went up in smoke.

If something still exists, if it still is kept somewhere, there is always an opportunity to decide if it's worthy of being remembered. It can still be recognized for its merits, for its impact, for its importance, or just what it says about the time and culture and people who made it, and what they believed and thought and did. It can still be a useful part of history, even if we decide it's a horrible thing, a bigoted mess, a terrible piece of art. We have the opportunity to do all that.

If it's lost... We are out of options. All we can do is research it from how it affected other things. There's a lot of great books and plays and films and shows that we only know of because other contemporary sources talked about them so much. We're trying to figure out what it was and what it did, from tracing the shadow it cast on the rest of culture.

This is why archivists get anxious whenever people say "this thing is bad and should not be preserved". Because, yeah, maybe they're right. Maybe we'll look back and decide "yeah, that is worthless and we shouldn't waste the hard drive or warehouse space on it".

But if they're wrong, and we listen to them, and don't archive... We don't get a second chance at this. And archivists have been bitten too many times by talk of "we don't need copies, the original studio has the masters!" (it burnt down), or "this isn't worth preserving, it's just some damn silly fad" (the fad turned out to be the first steps of a cultural revolution), or "this media is degenerate/illegal/immoral" (it turns out those saying that were bigots and history doesn't agree with their assessment).

So we archive what we can. We can always decide later if it doesn't need preserving. And being a responsible archivist often means preserving things but not making them publicly available, or being selective in what you archive (I back up a lot of old computer hard drives. Often they have personal photos and emails and banking information! That doesn't get saved).

But it's not really a good idea to be making quality or moral judgements of what you archive. Because maybe you're right, maybe a decade or two later you'll decide this didn't need to be saved. And you'll have the freedom to make that choice. But if you didn't archive it, and decide a decade later you were wrong... It's just gone now. You failed.

Because at the end of the day I'd rather look at an archive and see it includes 10,000 things I think are worthless trash, than look at an archive of on the "best things" and know that there are some things that simply cannot be included. Maybe they were better, but can't be considered as one of the best... Because they're just gone. No one has read them, no one has been able to read them.

We have a long history of losing things. The least we can do going forward is to try and avoid losing more. And leave it up to history to decide if what we saved was worth it.

My dream is for a future where critics can look at stuff made in the present and go "all of this was shit. Useless, badly made, bigoted, horrible. Don't waste your time on it!"

Because that's infinitely better than the future where all they can do is go "we don't know of this was any good... It was probably important? We just don't know. It's gone. And it's never coming back"

[ariaste]

I made a post a few days ago about how dire the hits-to-comments ratio is in this fandom and since then I have tried an experiment, got great results, and I am back to explain how we solve this problem as a community.

Several people made disheartened comments on the previous post about how consumer culture has finally made it to fandom (that is, people don't comment on fics as much any more because they're passive consumers of content rather than equal participants in fandom) but... I kind of think that part of this might be our responsibility as fic authors as well, and something that we as can do something about and take agency over. Because yeah, it's correct that commenting has gone down, but you know what I also don't see very much anymore??? People adding a note at the end of the fic saying "Comments give me life!" or "If you liked this fic, please let me know, a nice comment makes me smile all day" or "Comments keep me energized to write more, please let me know if you enjoyed this!" or "I would love to hear what you thought of this! :)"

The culture of a community is not something that people just know instinctively. It's something that has to be taught, just like manners and etiquette in any other context (you don't know the fish fork from the entree fork from the dessert fork until someone shows you, for example). The venn diagram of "the good old days of fandom when lots of people were in the habit of leaving comments" and "the bad old days when we had to humbly ask people to please comment if they liked it at the end of fics" is probably almost a circle. Yes, it's true that we are living in a society where we are being encouraged to be passive consumers of content and that this is probably leaking into fandom spaces. But the way that we start course-correct is to simply communicate clearly in public about what your needs and preferences are. Not in posts like this, because not everyone is going to see it and it will eventually disappear into the ether, and because one big essay isn't going to affect much change. Just... in small spaces where people will see it immediately when it's relevant, like in the end notes of your fic, or in the caption/description under your fanart post. It is not a bad thing to tell people that you like comments. You are not vain or arrogant for wanting engagement and appreciation for something you made out of love and enthusiasm, you are HUMAN. It is not a bad thing to communicate your needs. And oftentimes it is way more effective than you realize until you have actual data to back it up, like the data I'm looking at right now for this fic.

I made one change on the most recent chapter, and that was to put this at the end:

LISTEN TO ME REAL QUICK HERE, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. This fandom has the worst comments-to-hits ratios on fics that I've ever seen. That sucks. Comments are part of a healthy fandom ecosystem, and I can't tell you how many unexpected friends I've made just by telling them I liked their fic. If you don't feel like leaving a comment on this fic, that's okay with me. But you have to PROMISE that you'll leave one on the next three IWTV fics you read, ok? Give our authors some love so they'll keep writing. It'd be a really, really long hiatus until s3 without them.

Since posting this, I can only describe the state of my inbox as, "Oh, THAT'S more like it, there we go, much better!" So... try it out? Tell people that their thoughts and comments are welcome? Remind them that this is a good thing to be doing? It's not going to make everyone comment, but I bet it'll make at least a little bit of a positive difference, and the more people start doing it, the faster we'll inch ourselves back to a thriving and healthy fandom ecology. :)

Rome wasn't built in a day, and culture has to be taught, and the best and happiest kinds of communities grow when the participants are aware and intentional about it.

[ohisms]

↪ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 , ꮲꭲ 2 . (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” adjust phrasing as necessary . )

damn , [ name ] , how many cars can one person crash ?

i can't help it — when i'm behind the wheel , i'm a slave to the power of the machine .

other people worked very hard to buy those cars , and now they're mine .

why you gotta put me in a cage ?

i'm not a rat , okay ?

shut up , you don't know what you're talking about .

i am NOT joking , i don't wanna do this .

guys , we don't snitch . that's it , end of story .

will you listen to yourself ?? "jUsT tElL tHe tRuTh"

[ name ] , you snitch you die !

pretty sure that was already there when i walked up .

how is this good news ?

everyone's gonna call me a traitor , like you .

don't worry about it , it was worth it .

what are you doing tomorrow night ?

just say the words , and it can be yours .

oh , it's like that , huh ? fine .

what was that ? i can't hear you ... you can't breathe ?

you better figure something out , 'cause if you don't — i'll have to go public with this .

that's called extortion , stupid !

those guys are just covering their own asses , they don't even like you .

as easily as i can save you in this world , i can destroy you .

if anybody messes with you , let us know - okay ?

with a dong like that , you'd think he'd be happier .

do i look like i'm playing , [ last name ] ?

oh , your breath reeks of booze .

i hope you have a plan .

i was up all night watching prep school movies in preparation .

there are some real evil illuminati-type vibes in here , right ?

there was a time i could see , and i have seen .

oh , i'm just getting warmed up .

we are but food for worms , gentlemen .

whose burrito did i just step in ?

get out of here , the tv's mine .

what did you do to my shirt ??

how would you feel if i ran around stealing your clothes ?

we had to kill him cause he wasn't a team player .

no more special treatment for you .

i grew up in squalor , i am perfectly comfortable in it .

[ name ] , don't you dare !

didn't know you were gonna be so weird about it .

if you decide that you don't want me around , just tell me and i will go .

you're not the only game in town , buddy , okay ?

you don't know who i hang out with .

jealousy is the reason people hate us .

you don't have to worry about labels , just like who you like .

i hope this is some sort of emergency .

you kept me waiting , so i'm gonna get right to it .

don't make this your thing , this is [ name's ] thing .

suing is how rich white people solve their problems .

i wanted to sing and show you there's nothing to be afraid of .

i'm so nervous for you ... i want to throw up and run away .

you could have me escorted out , but you have no security .

ooh , dark scary room ! you know what they call that in prison ? they call that a blind spot . great place to catch a shiv .

what kind of operation are you running here ?

you didn't do anything wrong . i was the problem , not you .

where i'm from , the guest gets the good seat .

i drink , smoke , lie , steal ... i'm drunk right now .

i will ruin him . please don't let me do that .

i'm not the one doing whatever you guys are doing ... what are you doing ?

i'm not judging , at least he's a hot mess .

it's the wolf's job to eat the sheep , so y'know ... this was bound to happen .

i will RUIN you when we get home .

i'll give it back to you in a minute , you're gonna get it back .

the suit you destroyed cost a grand !

come on , [ name ] . i'll help you get settled .

he can't know it was my idea .

she made her mean bed and she can sleep in those scratchy sheets .

woah , tough day at the office ?

what the hell did you just say to me ?

you are right ... no matter what you say about anything .

we do this all the time , but usually there's some art to it .

this is not nearly as fun as i thought it was gonna be .

you're letting a bunch of nerds pick on you with their computers ?

why don't you just systematically destroy her ?

i can see where this is headed , so i'm just gonna hit the road .

she ripped me open , stuffed me full of devastation and then sewed me back up again .

leave me alone , this is all your fault .

why are they yelling ? are they angry cause they're bad musicians ?

i will never understand your generation .

let me have it . how bad is it ?

do you have any idea what i saw in there ?

you should come and check out what's going on outside , cause i think you'll be pleasantly surprised .

i just want us to be friends again .

it would be such a silly waste of time for someone like me to be mad at someone as insignificant as you .

the truth is , i pity you .

when the universe gives you a sign , it's not up to you to ignore it .

[ name ] gave it to me . it means i'm in charge .

i'm not comfortable with the whole arrangement . where's [ name ] ?

this is outrageous ! i'm getting passed over again ?

i don't have a problem , i'm just blowing off some steam .

you wanna get in on this ?

you deserve to take a time out as much as anybody else .

sorry , i didn't realize you were the fun police .

having money has reaaally changed you .

i've lost control ?! oh no , you dumb , dumb idiot . YOU'VE lost control .

that's a gross overreaction .

i will show myself the door in a ... graceful and classy manner .

thanks for sticking around .

look , i realize i did some questionable things in there .

i just felt like the universe was giving me a sign .

i'm the only one worthy of its power !

keep it in your pants and follow my lead .

it's no offense , i just don't know you very well .

let's go over this one more time , just so we're clear .

we've already been over the terms .

what's in it for you ?

i like the element of surprise .

wasn't expecting that . are you okay ?

i saw a burglar , i didn't know what to do ... so i SMOKED his ass !

you SHOT me ! what the hell's the matter with you ?

that gunpowder's like a hundred years old , it probably just broke the skin .

what about the police ? they're expecting a gunshot victim .

guys , we've gotta move this along , okay ?

you got it , i'll get you a pillow .

you're lucky no one was killed .

here's the thing about the bordeaux ... i drank it .

i'm so sorry that you had to keep our mansion warm .

how do you think the police found them ?

if you're done criticizing me , i think i'll head on up to bed .

you want me to do the jobs no one else wants ?

can we pick this up tomorrow ? i was shot , so ... i'm very tired .

it has nothing to do with that . okay ? now please leave .

i wanted to thank you for having my back earlier .

that had nothing to do with you . i was just trying to hurt them .

it's chloroform . i found a recipe online .

[ name ] , don't come at me with that .

i was gonna do whatever it takes . i'm not a quitter.

i wanna tell you , i really do . but first there's something i need .

oh my god , you're bailing again .

innocent people don't sneak in and out of their own home .

'cause i don't like you , that's why .

i'd rather get mowed down in a hellfire of bullets than listen to you screech .

you don't have to lie . i heard you guys .

how was i supposed to know you were gonna hug me ? i didn't even know you knew how to hug .

[caesium-55]

—everything is orange. [ ii ]

pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader

summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.

warning/s: graphic description of blood and gore, body insecurity, lando might be a lil ooc

masterlist.

God bless Jinnie Jo and her overly prepared self because you thought you’d die when you got attacked by the damn shellfish allergy in the car on the way to the hotel. It's fortunate that Jinnie happens to carry around your allergy meds. You dry-swallow the tablets without hesitation, uttering your thanks to Jinnie.

“Song Dan-ssi gave me a list of your allergy meds before we left,” Jinnie tells you. Warmth floods your chest. Manager-nim may be in another country but he never fails to take care of you. You're definitely going to buy something for Manager-nim when you return to Seoul. A jacket perhaps?

The first thing you do the moment you enter your hotel room is kick your boots off, take a warm shower, and reunite with the love of your life—the bed. The mattress swallows you whole and you let out a content sigh as you allow your body to sink in it. Not even ten minutes later, you grab your bag, which you have haphazardly thrown on the bed, take out your phone, and open the X app. You type Lando’s name in the search box.

username1: i am disgusted by the people who still support lando norris like yall really support a man who got a girl pregnant and refusing to take responsibility? i just know mclaren is lying when they said he's not the father

username2: justice for the girl that lando norris got pregnant! he should be kicked out of mclaren!

username3: that girl lucky bc her baby daddy is THE lando norris. she should tell us how he fucks in great detail

You cringe. Your fingers tap the three buttons at the upper right corner and without hesitation, pressing report. You continue to scroll down the tweets, reading them one by one as the clock ticks.

username4: what lie will mclaren tell again to protect little lando norris?

Your phone pings. A notification bar appears on the upper portion of your phone screen. You have received a message. You stop reading the tweet and open your messages app.

unknown number: hey

unknown number: this is lando

unknown number: your boyfriend?

unknown number: the fake one

You immediately save his number in your contacts. You name him Lando Norris.

you: hey there

you: do i just call you lando or

lando: you can call me baby

You snigger at his flirting attempt. Ten points for trying, Lando Norris.

you: okay baby

lando: 😳

lando: okay

lando: we agreed on hard launching each other in socmed right?

you: yah

lando: i kinda don't have a picture of you?

lando: pr told me to ask you if you can send me one

lando: i’ll send you one too

you: i have an idea

you: put me on your story

lando: yeah im planning to do exactly that

lando: have you been listening to what we talked about earlier in the meeting?

you: then delete it after a few mins

lando: wait why

you: make it look like you did it on accident

Your first mistake in your first PR relationship with another idol is that you immediately hard-launched each other on Instagram after Dispatch released his pictures kissing a guy in a bar. People got skeptical and most of them called out your relationship as a PR stunt. They called you a cover up, which you were, but they weren't supposed to know that.

You're not going to make the same mistake twice.

lando: and this will work?

you: let's not shake the confidence i have

lando: 😂

you: people are already expecting mclaren to set a pr stunt so you can gain the public’s hearts back

you: u have to make yourself look like you never needed a pr stunt in the first place, that you’re not trying to win the public back

you: people will catch up if you suddenly post that you have a girlfriend in the middle of your hot issue

you: netizens are quickwitted theyre not as dumb as most of us think

You hope you're explaining it well. You're trying to make your point as clear as possible but it's hard. You forgot the other English words you’ve learned.

lando: okay i get ur point

lando: i’ll do what u want

lando: someone has to tell pr what u planned though

lando: it's not going to be me

Fuck the PR. You're not going to tell them and let them have a field day tomorrow. That's what they get for expecting you to sign that stupid first contract they made.

You open your camera app and take a quick selfie.

No. Your nose looks too big at that angle.

Again.

Now, your forehead looks like an airport.

Again.

Your teeth are showing. The coffee stains are visible.

Again.

Again.

Again.

you: *sent a photo*

lando: i

lando: help me with the caption? my braincells flew off

you: idk not good at captions

you: just say hello loml or smth

This is the story you want to tell:

You met Lando a year after you departed from ORACLE in Australia.

You have a mutual friend—named Tori Allen—who introduced you to one another. Tori Allen does not exist. She's just the fictional side character of your love story.

You started out as friends. Lando is freshly out from a breakup and you’re just trying to live a quiet life after your fall from grace.

You talked for months because of your mutual interest in cars. Eventually, you started going on casual dates.

You asked Lando to keep it secret. He said yes in respect to you. HAN Entertainment already released a press statement regarding your mental health status after the 2021 incident so the public would assume that this was the reason why.

The relationship turned serious three months before Lando’s scandal.

Lando never got the girl pregnant. He never touched that girl. He was loyal to you.

Jinnie almost breaks down the door the next morning. You open it before she can do so. She angrily stomps inside your room and you close the door behind her. Her face is red, her expression taut.

“It's seven,” your eyebrows crease together. You make a quick glance at the phone in your hand. 7:22, the clock in your lockscreen projects. “You told me we are supposed to meet at twelve.”

“McLaren PR called me up,” Jinnie informs you. You’re beginning to get an idea where this conversation is going. “You didn't do what we agreed on.”

“And what did we agree on?” you cross your arms over your chest. You flutter your eyelashes innocently at her.

“That you’re going to choose photos to post on each of your accounts and let PR handle the captions. Norris posted something immediately without PR checking it and deleted it!”

“Did he tell you that it was my idea?”

“No, but I know that it was and it turns out I’m right. You just confirmed it.”

“Did it work?” you question.

“I can't with you!” she throws her hands up in the air, frustrated. “We are supposed to follow orders!”

“No,” you say. “You are supposed to follow orders. That's what Yoon PD-nim told you. He told me to do what I believed was best.”

You open X. Lando’s name is at the top of the trending list. You press his name and read through the tweets that appeared.

username5: LANDO NORRIS WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR

username6: EVERYONE HERE ARE THE RECEIPTS *screenshot*

username7: is this what you call the freudian slip lol

username8: I AM NOT CRAZY GUYS LANDO ACCIDENTALLY STORIED HIS GF IN HIS PUBLIC ACC

username9: he deleted it so quick too 😭 im sure the man panicked

username10: HE CHEATED ON HIS GF AND GOT A GIRL PREGNANT??!?

username11: for all we know he didn't even bang that girl 🤷 his girlfriend’s pretty hot he’s definitely not cheating on her

username10: men cheat on their pretty wives and girlfriends all the time

username12: not lando norris that man’s in love LOVE can u see his caption

username13: the caption??? lando’s pretty smooth with his words

username14: he’s taking smooth operator lessons from carlos

username15: im crazy but what if this is just a pr stunt 🤔

username16: girl he won't delete the story in a panic if it's a pr stunt

username17: he was definitely going to post it in his priv and made a mistake 😭

username18: very lando of him

username17: he stronger than me bc if my girlfriend was that pretty, her face will be flooding my instagram

username19: ignore lando, his girl tho 😳

username20: he called her loml omgggg

username21: booo luisa’s prettier

username22: fok off and move on

username23: lando can you fight? meet me at the kfc parking lot and let's fight

username24: probably not but he can run you over with his car

username25: i swear ive seen that girl before i just cant pinpoint where

username26: IT'S [NAME] EX MEMBER OF ORACLE WE HAVENT SEEN HER SINCE 2021

username27: so he bagged a kpop girlie??? lando got game dayummm

username28: isn't [name] an illegal street racer? that's why she got kicked out of the group right?

username29: an f1 racer and a street racer couple 😳 omg what in booktok is this

username30: she's not a streetracer she only watched the street race

username28: she told you that herself?

username30: her company did

username31: THEY CANT BE DATING OMG LANDO YOU CAN DO BETTER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE A WAG

username32: and u think ur better than her?

“It's working,” you state. You turn to Jinnie, raising your phone in the air and waving it. A smug smirk spreads to your lips. “It's working.”

Nobody is doubting the relationship like the time with Minhyung. This is a good start. Now, onto the next part.

“So are we really going to keep having lunch dates until your race?” you poke the shrimp on the plate with your fork. You're having pasta again. In the same place, too. It sucks but you swallow the food and smile as if you’re enjoying the meal.

For today's outfit, Jinnie chose a Valentino Garavani black midi dress paired with Jimmy Choo Antia leather sandals. Lando matched your outfit with a black silk button up and off-white pants. You’re both playing the “looking like a couple” card well.

“I believe so,” Lando says. You mentally count the days of the calendar in your head. The FP1 is scheduled to begin in two days. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask….”

“Hm?”

“The team didn't scold you a lot, did they?”

“They didn’t,” you give him a tight smile. Did he worry? For you? That's very sweet of him. “Why would they? My plan went great.”

Lando nods, “It did. You’re good at this.”

You smile at his compliment, shrugging a shoulder. I’m supposed to be good at this. I have no other choice.

“Let's show them our story,” you say. “Show, not tell. People are more inclined to believe actions rather than words. Show them the story we want them to know and we don't answer their questions early so we can keep the attention and the curiosity on us. Once the timing is right, you answer their questions, one by one. This is risky because if we don't act right, we’re done….”

You set the fork down and finally stop terrorizing the poor shrimp. It's completely obliterated now.

“But I believe we can act right,” honesty bleeds through your words. “You're lovable and you already act like a sweet boyfriend without trying.”

Lando purses his lips and averts his gaze. You see pink dusting his cheeks.

“I try.”

“Nice try,” your words come out dry. You give him a thumbs-up. “Also, I’m full.”

“You only ate half your plate,” Lando points out.

“The portion is too big. I’m a light eater.”

HAN Entertainment is partly to blame for that. You got accustomed to their extreme diets and small meal portions that you cannot even eat more than a small bowl of rice.

“Do you not like the food?” he asks, concerned.

You don’t answer the question. Instead, you lace your fingers together and rest your chin on them, leaning slightly forward.

“I have another plan. Wanna hear it?”

You still don't like having attention to yourself. The feeling of having eyes watching your every move, waiting for you to make a mistake still terrifies you. But attention, the right kind especially, is a weapon. You need a weapon to fight this war. A war to build your career again.

“Keep them on their toes,” the instructor of your PR training class once said. “Give them what they want piece by piece, just enough to keep them wanting more, but never give them everything.”

Until now, you still abide by her teachings. God bless Kim Gaon-ssi and her big brain, wherever she is now. She resigned from HAN entertainment a year ago.

It's been a few days since Lando pulled that stunt in his Instagram story and yet, the attention you're receiving from the fans is not simmering down. You didn't expect anyone to be this involved or curious about a driver's love life but here everyone was.

You wake up at seven and then proceed to spend an hour on your phone while lying in bed to push all the sleepiness away from your system. You leave your bed at nine, change out of your sleeping wear, perform a whole morning ritual inside the bathroom, and by eleven, you send Jinnie a message to get brunch and invite her to eat together inside the privacy of your hotel room. She arrives after fifteen minutes with hotel service food. You eat until twelve thirty and after eating, you begin to get ready.

The free practice session is at 5:30 PM. You can afford a bit more time to get ready so you shower again. It took you nearly two hours. In the meantime, Jinnie prepares your clothes.

You mentally thank the heavens when you see trousers neatly folded on your bed. If Jinnie forces you to wear dresses again, you’re going to lose it. You're conscious of how big your thighs look. You don't even have a thigh gap. Big thighs, small ankles, and muscular calves. They're just a few of your numerous bodily insecurities.

Jinnie pairs the Moon Choi black back pocket trousers with a Dior Toile de Jouy Sauvage silk top. For the shoes, she chooses a pair of white Fila chunky sneakers. She helps you apply your makeup and fix your hair. To finish the look, you grab your black cross body bag, smart watch, sunglasses, and a black ball cap.

Jinnie snatches the ball cap from your hands and replaces it with a McLaren ball cap. A tacky orange with the number four. You raise your brow at her. She gives you a pointed look, a look that says: don’t even try to protest. You sigh, resigned, and pull it onto your head.

She scans your appearance, dragging her coal eyes from the top of your head to your toes. She huffs, satisfied.

“You look perfect.”

Perfect is the goal.

Jinnie drives you to the race venue. She drops you off at the parking lot. She's not happy with it. Jinnie wanted to come. You told her no. You can handle this little act alone. You don’t see an ex-idol with a manager, do you?

The moment you exit the car, you slip on your mask. Figuratively and literally. You tip your ball cap upwards to scan your surroundings, searching for the way in. You carry your phone in your right hand and your paddock pass in the left. Lando gave it to you during dinner yesterday.

A racing event is crowded with people. That's a given. Perhaps not as crowded as a concert but still crowded nonetheless. A stage will not separate you from the people nor a barricade. Unfortunately. You have no bodyguard, no manager, no HAN Entertainment staff.

You're not here as ORACLE’s [Name] but as Lando Norris�� girlfriend.

Your feet lead you to a path where there are less people. You message Lando that you’ve arrived. He replies in a matter of seconds.

lando: ill come and get you

lando: wait for me

You remove your cap, fix your hair, before pulling the cap on. You spot a man with a Nikon DSLR standing a good distance. He is wearing a cord around his neck. The word MEDIA is printed in bold white letters. Your lips curl a little underneath your face mask.

It is show time.

During your trainee years, acting classes are mandatory. You know the basics. You're confident that you're good at acting. If you weren't, the company wouldn't have pushed you to act in two dramas as a side character during your rookie years. You received a reward for your performances, too.

To look lost, you have to keep glancing around you as if you’re contemplating which way to go. You have to look unsure of your actions. Hesitant. You have to constantly look at your phone as if you’re reading directions in it or texting someone to tell you where you should be going. You have to scratch your nape a few times to express nervousness. You're in a place you don’t know, it’s natural to be nervous.

Someone is bound to approach you and help you. When they do, you remove the cap but not the mask and then hope they know who you are. When they don't, well…. that's a problem for future you. You haven't thought that far.

“Hi, excuse me, do you need help?”

You perk up. Orange fills your view. A group of four girls have approached you and they all wear twinning McLaren merch. You can see that three of them sport the number four in their shirts, Lando’s race number. You involuntarily swallow.

There was a case once where a rookie actress got beaten up by her idol boyfriend’s fans promptly after the release of their dating news. Fans can be so jealous to the point of violence. It's a toxic fan culture. That's why so many Kpop idols resort to keeping their relationships private and secret. You hope you won’t get beaten up.

But also, given that they’re McLaren and Lando fans, there is a high possibility that they’ll recognize you. Which is exactly what you wanted. So you push that stupid fear aside and keep the show going.

“Hi, uh,” you remove your cap and lower your face mask until it's bunched up below your nose. “I’m kind of…lost? Do you know the way to the, uh…”

You forget what it's called. McLaren garage? You don't remember the exact word Lando used. You're still not confident that you know the difference between a paddock, a garage, and a livery.

��Wait, I know you!”

You purposely widen your eyes.

“You’re Lando’s girlfriend!”

You smile sheepishly, scratching your cheek with your finger.

The girls break out into loud and high-pitched squeals. Their voices are so shrill that you cannot help but wince. You motion for them to quiet down. Inwardly, you want them to keep being loud. Loud enough to warrant the attention of the photographer, your target.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, we absolutely have to take a selfie!”

You barely understand her rapid spitfire of words until she takes out her phone. Panic instantly swells within you.

This is not the plan. You only wanted one person to take the necessary picture. Not this.

You hastily slap your hand over the lower half of your face. You stagger backwards and stumble against a sturdy wall. Your hands fly out to your sides as you feel yourself lose your balance. Two hands grip your shoulders and you hear a surprised woah! from behind you. You lift your head.

It's not a wall. It's Lando.

His beautiful, beautiful eyes gaze down at you. The colors look lighter under the sun. His thick brows are furrowed together, his forehead creasing.

Lando spins you around so you're face-to-face with his hard chest. You squint at the multiple logos printed on the long-sleeves he’s wearing. Is this what he wears when he races? He swiftly takes the McLaren ball cap off your hand and puts it on your head. His hand remains tenderly flat on your shoulder blade, the other lays on your cheek as if he's trying to cover your face. You tug your face mask up and rub your throat.

“Hi,” Lando greets the girls sweetly. This causes the eruption of another wave of high-pitched squeals. “I’m sorry but do you mind if we keep the cameras away? Our relationship isn't out and as much as possible, we’d like to keep it that way. Can we respect my girl’s privacy please?”

He sounds exactly like a male lead in a romance Kdrama. You know it's fake, that the both of you are playing roles, but his words and the way he delivers them so effortlessly makes you momentarily doubt if he's really acting. It causes a butterfly to flutter in your stomach and your pulse to steadily accelerate. His hands are large and warm and for a moment, it makes you wonder if this is what security feels like. If this is what it feels like to be loved.

Then, you get reminded that it is all an act.

How can actors not fall in love with their co-actors when acting can feel this real at times?

“Thank you,” you hear Lando say. You miss the previous parts of the conversation because of the thoughts that invaded your mind.

“You look so cute together, oh my god. I’m going to die,” the fangirl adds. Lando’s chest vibrates as he chuckles, the sound deep and warm.

“We need to go, sorry. Enjoy the race today.”

He taps his thumb against your shoulder blade and he starts walking, his hands not detaching themselves from your skin. You keep your head low as Lando guides you away. In your peripheral vision, you see the photographer’s camera pointed towards the two of you. A self-satisfied smirk plays on your lips.

“How did I do?” Lando asks the moment he removes his helmet. He is sporting a bright grin, so bright that you're sure it’s going to make the sun envious, as his fingers comb through his damp curly hair. A few stray strands are stuck on his sweaty forehead. You feel the urge to sweep them aside for him.

You search through your mental thesaurus for the synonyms of the word amazing and have chosen: “Impressive.”

Light beads of sweat trickle down his face and neck. A McLaren staff member comes and hands him a towel to wipe them off. Lando thanks her and she leaves. He thrusts the towel towards you. You blink in confusion.

“Will you do the honors?”

“Can't you do it yourself?”

“But you have to play the part of a sweet girlfriend, am I right or am I right?” You roll your eyes at his cheekiness, rising to a stand. You place the McLaren jacket in your hands on your chair. Lando handed it to you before he climbed into the car. You don't know the reason behind his action. Nevertheless, you held the jacket for him.

You take the towel from his hands, your fingers grazing with his. Lando’s smile threatens to split in half as he puts his hands behind his back, parts his legs a little, and then bends down so you won't have a difficult time wiping his sweat for him. You're not that much shorter than him and your height difference is perfectly reasonable and comfortable but you're still grateful that he's doing this for you.

You don't wipe his sweat. Instead, you pat them out. Patting is gentle on skin. The towel will simply absorb the sweat on his skin. Rubbing the skin can lead to skin irritation and inflammation. Lando’s eyes flutter close at your actions and you swear you see him leaning against your hand.

“You raced good today,” you praise him.

You have zero idea on what happened in the past hour. The cars went around in circles. Then, they time their laps. They’re not even racing each other. You thought they would.

In all honesty, you think the entire thing is a bore. The street races you went to when you were a teen were more fun. A minimum of three drivers gets injured every race and it's highly likely someone ends up dead, which is your messed-up definition of the word fun.

You’re more interested in the special guest who decided to grace the track with its great reptile presence. A dinosaur. Kidding, it's just a lizard. It looks like it was surveying the scene and strategizing a great dinosaur invasion.

Lando's chest swells, “Well, I have to impress my girl.”

He opens his eyes and they meet yours. They're twinkling with mirth.

“Color me impressed then.” Despite your words, your tone is unimpressed.

He smiles impossibly wider, now showing his full set of pearly white teeth. He bites his bottom lip. You stop patting his sweat and lower your hand to the side.

“You don't have any more races tonight?” you question. Lando straightens.

“Later at 9 PM.”

“That's quite late.”

“It is?” Lando’s head tilts to the side a little. “Do you sleep early?”

You hardly sleep at all. You have a hard time maintaining regular human sleeping and waking hours. Like the other half of the world population.

“That's not it,” you shake your head. “I kind of just expected that the next practice session would be tomorrow morning.”

“Singapore usually holds night races. Track temperatures are low and the organizers can broadcast the race during peak viewing hours in European time,” Lando explains. “And they hold two practice races a day because it only lasts an hour.”

“That makes sense.”

“Are you hungry?” Lando questions, smoothly redirecting the conversation to food.

“I could eat.” You're not particularly hungry. You're not full either.

“I know a good place that sells these amazing wraps.”

Wraps sound enticing. You can't remember the last time you've eaten one.

“Lead the way.”

You chew on your beef wrap slowly as your eyes focus on the screen of your phone. The voices of the sports announcers live broadcasting the ongoing race fill Lando’s driver room. After buying the wrap, he brought you to his driver room so you can enjoy the privacy as you ate. You appreciate the thoughtfulness. You don't think you can eat outside. So many people can see you.

username33: LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS I AM GOING FERAL

username34: HOLUP LANDO'S GIRL WAS IN THE PADDOCK??? ON THE DAY I DECIDED NOT TO GO?? EVJSNSVSISKS

username35: girlie was hiding 😭 she deliberately went through the back of the paddock so no one can see her going to the garage

username36: my friends and i met her today! she looks like she's lost and as fellow mclaren fans, we went to help her and she was so sweet omg and so so shy too. we tried to take a pic with her but lando arrived and told us to respect his girl’s space

username36: and i quote “do you mind if we keep the cameras away? our relationship isn't out and we’d like to keep it that way. can we respect my girl’s privacy please” WHEN I TELL YOU I MELTED ON THE SPOT

username37: girl he really said that???

username38: i’m her friend and yes he really said that 😭

username39: little lando norris is not so little anymore

username37: pls tell me you backed off immediately

username38: we did!! we kinda feel bad now that we discovered she's been battling anxiety since 2021 and that she doesn't like having photos of her taken

username40: NO BECAUSE THE WAY LANDO IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HER?? THE WAY HE SPUN HER AROUND AND PULLED HER TO HIS CHEST?? THE PROTECTIVE HAND ON HER BACK?? HIM COVERING HER FACE?? WE ALL KNOW [NAME] HASN'T BEEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE SINCE 2021 BC OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AFTER HER SCANDAL AND LANDO REALLY TRIED TO PROTECT HER

username41: bae i think you forgot that he's also the reason why [name] is gaining attention again bc he accidentally storied her in his insta

username40: that's why i said tried bestie

username42: i cant believe im crying over this LANDO NORRIS U BETTER TREAT OUR GIRL [NAME] RIGHT

username43: im waiting for @hanentertainmentofficial to say smth

username44: girlie’s career flopped and now she's leeching off lando’s money smh 🙄

username45: bestie she never needed his money she’s already rich from being an idol

username44: correction ex kpop idol, her money’s probably already running out

username45: bestie she's still richer than you while you're 14 (your bio says your 14) and still living with your parents

username46: AND THAT'S VERY SLAY OF HER,, YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A RICH MAN TO LOOK AT YOU

username47: that girl who claimed that lando is her baby daddy is suspiciously quiet rn

You turn your phone off and toss it inside your cross body bag. A sigh flies past your lips as you lean against the back of the couch, setting your unfinished wrap down. Your eyes flutter close. They're beginning to sting. Too much reading.

Sleep latches its claws on you and you allow it to take you.

You stand in darkness, allowing the deafening silence to swallow you whole. Suddenly, a thousand eyes appear. Unblinking. Bloodshot. They're bulging out of their sockets. In unison, the eyeballs move and lock on your figure. Judging. Judging. Judging. Your body trembles at the weight of a thousand gazes. You can’t breathe. You can't speak.

Please stop looking at me.

Please.

I’m begging you.

Stop.

The eyes slowly became bigger and bigger. Then, they disappear. You let out a shaky exhale. You turn around and the world becomes a blinding white.

Cameras. Thousands. No, millions of them. The loud clicking noise fills your ears. Your hands stretch in front of you, trying to cover your face and your body from them. You can only squeeze your eyes shut.

Silence.

The scene changes.

You register the feeling of sand getting stuck in between your toes. Your eyes slowly flutter open. The overcast skyline and the rising tides, the telltale ingredients of a brewing storm over the horizon, can be spectated from the shore. You recognize this place. This was a place you swore you're never going to step foot again.

Jeju.

You hear your mother’s gentle voice whisper your name behind you, causing goosebumps rise on your skin and your entire body to stiffen. It's not the name you own now, but the name you were born with, the name she gave you, the name you lost when you moved to Seoul.

She calls your name again. Again. Again. And again. You ignore every single one.

She stops.

You slowly turn around and you see your mother standing there, a few steps away, barefoot like you and wearing a dress. You remember this dress. She wore it when she was pregnant with you. She keeps the photo in her wallet.

No Eun Ha looks as beautiful as she was in your childhood memories. You greatly resemble her. The eyes most especially. That's why looking at mirrors feels more like a punishment to you more than anything else.

The word “Eomma” rots inside your mouth.

Your Eomma smiles at you. It's empty, her smile. When she smiles, they never reach her eyes. That's the way it has always been. For a second, you consider apologizing.

Eomma, I’m sorry that you have to raise a child you didn’t want. I’m sorry for stealing the light in your eyes.

You don't grow the courage to say it out loud.

No Eun Ha remains smiling. You notice that the edges of her lips curl higher and higher until the smile begins to look unsettling and sinister. Then you see the skin on her cheek tear apart as her smile grows and grows. Blood drips down slowly to her neck and stains the top part of her dress. She opens her mouth into an inhumane size and you see a thousand razor-sharp teeth lining up inside it. Everything is a gory red.

You scream in absolute terror.

She says your name again, her voice this time is not as gentle as you remember.

You wake up screaming and in cold sweat. You fall from your bed and onto the floor on all fours and begin vomiting your guts out. Nothing comes up. Only saliva. You break into pathetic sobs on the floor. Terror is a familiar feeling but you will never ever get used to it.

You don't know how many hours have passed. The floor used to feel cool against your skin but now, it's never been warmer. You still don't possess the strength to leave the floor. Your body feels as if it's being anchored down giant stones.

You're exhausted. You’ve done nothing but you feel exhausted.

You want to run.

You want to run away from this pain and exhaustion.

You need a life where you're no longer exhausted.

Desperately.

A sudden shriek interrupts the silence that wraps the air. A woman's. You don't even flinch. You know it’s just Jinnie. She's the only one who has access to another keycard of your hotel room.

When Lando’s panicking face comes into view, you are shocked. So shocked that you involuntarily raise your arms and accidentally hit him below his jaw. He stumbles backwards, not expecting the blow. He let out a pained groan, hand clutching the area you hit. You quickly rise to your feet, a thousand apologies already on the tip of your tongue. This action, however, triggers a wave of vertigo. Your vision blackens temporarily, your knees giving out at your own weight. Reflexively, you grab hold of the nearest thing beside you, the mattress to soften your fall, before your shaking knees meet the floor.

“[Name]!” Lando’s voice is so loud, you flinch.

When your vision returns, his face is the first thing you see.

“Good morning,” your voice is flat and rough.

Lando hisses and his large hands cradle your cheeks. You're suddenly made aware of how large his hands are. They can cover your entire face with how big they are.

“You're pale,” his voice wobbles. “Shit.”

You want to pass out again. His hands feel so, so comfortable and so, so warm that you want to sleep with this feeling.

“Hey, hey, don't close your eyes. [Name]—” Lando hands move swiftly. One second he’s holding your face. The next second he’s lifting you up in his arms. “Jinnie, call an ambulance!”

The word “ambulance” causes you to wake up. Like really wake up.

Oh, shit.

You struggle in Lando’s arms, “Andwae! No ambulance!”

You pry yourself away from Lando, hopping down to the floor, but the man doesn't retract his hands completely. He still holds onto your forearms to support you as you try to stand.

“No. Just no. I’m fine.”

“[Name]!” Jinnie scolds. She's finally functioning again. She froze in shock when she saw you earlier.

“I’m fine!” you shout. “I’m fine! Really!”

When you get caught that you're weak, you retaliate.

You grit your teeth and clench your jaw.

“I’m. Fine.”

They don’t believe you. You can see it in their eyes. However, they're not going to argue with you. You know they won't.

“I’m going to shower,” you announce. Lando’s grip on your forearm tightens just as you pivot your heels to head to the bathroom.

“I think it's best if you stay today.”

“We all agreed that I’m going to be in the paddock from the practice sessions until the race night.”

“I’ll tell the PR team that you won't go today.”

Your brows furrow.

“Just… Rest for today, okay?”

You turn quiet. Hesitantly, you nod.

“Thanks.”

He turns to Jinnie and tells her, “Take care of her for me. I’ll visit after the qualifying.”

And like that, Lando Norris leaves the hotel room.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

One of the more interesting aspects of Stayed Gone is the implication that, prior to his disappearance, Alastor must have been producing some quality programming.

Despite it's obvious importance in the modern world, TV apparently only started outcompeting radio in Hell after Alastor vanished. Seven whole years ago. And when Al returns, Vox's first response is to freak the fuck out about whether he's gonna keep his audience.

That's fucking crazy.

And we can be pretty sure that people weren't just listening in out of fear, either. Or because Alastor was making any major effort to crush all other forms of media.

If this was purely about which Overlord was the most powerful, then Vox's verses would surely have focused on emphasising his own strength. Instead, they're all about calling radio outdated. Vox is genuinely worried— apparently based on experience— that Alastor is going to outdo him in terms of sheer entertainment value.

Which raises the obvious question: what were Al's shows actually like? (Aside from those early broadcasts guest-starting the screams of the damned, obviously.)

We get kind of a taster in the song:

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air. Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast— Sinners, rejoice!— instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast. Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Fitting between this fad and that, is nothing working? Every day, he's got a new format! Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees! And here's the sugar on the cream: he asked me to join his team! I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!”

Obviously he's doing it to music, so there's going to be some difference in the cadence of his voice from that, but still, he's talking noticeably quicker than he does in person. And he gets right to the point.

Compare it to his commercial in episode 1. There's a big difference in terms of both how much respect he's showing his audience (“well hello there, you wayward sinner!” vs “good to be back on the air”), and how much relevant information he delivers.

Alastor is a great character to watch, but most people who interact with him directly seem to find the experience either annoying, awkward, terrifying or all three.

Mainly because Al seems to go out of his way to put people off even when he's actively trying to get them to trust him, by making condescending asides or constantly dropping references to his own power. On air, however, he greets everyone politely and even drops what is almost an apology for being gone so long (“I know it's been a while”), then immediately gets to the information that he knows they're really listening for.

Alastor may not respect Charlie, Adam or Lucifer, but he does respect his audience.

And the content he's producing makes it clear why people are still tuning in. Al has the gossip. Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench may not be unbiased exactly, but they're clearly trying to provide sources for their claims and maintain some veneer of professional news reporting.

Al, meanwhile, is quite happy to provide strong opinions and baseless speculation about public figures, content that is less fitting with the professional image that Vox seems so desperate to keep up, but that is likely to attract a bigger audience.

What gets me curious now, however, is wondering what else he used to provide.

Again, radio was apparently the medium for news and entertainment in Hell until Alastor left. Implying that a) radio was at the time fulfilling many of the function that TV now provides, and b) Alastor was involved enough in this that it collapsed/got overthrown the moment he left town.

Did Alastor have an empire similar to the Vees? Did he run a bunch of channels? Did he have DJs and sports commentators and presenters on his payroll?

Given that radio seems to have collapsed completely after he left— did they all go running to Vox when he was presumed dead? Was the Vees new empire in part built on the ruins of Alastor's old one?

Or did he do the whole thing solo and just run like, a bunch of different shows. (In which case, since radio's bread and butter has always been music, Helluva Boss fans can now have fun imagining him interviewing Verosika Mayday about ‘Vacay to Bonetown’.)

[bibibbon]

I made a huge mistake in going to the MHA subreddit. The braindead takes on 427 have me convinced I'm stuck in a parallel universe where we're reading a completely different story:

"It's great seeing Deku play therapist with the LOV, but all it seems to have done is make things worse!" A) Izuku shouldn't be having to play therapist to begin with, considering he's a 16 year old kid. B) most of the LOV don't see anything they did as wrong, so idk what the fuck Izuku can do about that. Also, WHY AREN'T PEOPLE HELPING IZUKU WITH HIS OWN GODDAMN FEELINGS?!

Apparently Bakugou killed Kurogiri, and there's absolutely ZERO reaction to it both in and out of universe. So of fucking course Izuku is a murderer, but not their precious Bakugou 🥱.

"I feel like Hori's really underrated as a writer!" Horikoshi doesn't know Show Don't Tell, how to actually develop characters, and how to craft actual stakes in the narrative from a hole in the ground. Also, MHA is one of the most popular mangas worldwide, so you're not even using underrated right.

"I feel like Horikoshi sees our discussions and then implements them in the story!" This I can kind of agree with, considering how much y'all hate Izuku and worship Bakugou. But on the other hand, I really doubt Horikoshi thinks the MHA subreddit is as important as you think it is.

"Bakugou's totally going to ask Izuku to start their own hero agency together at the end!" Jesus fucking Christ, just say you hate Izuku. How would that be a great ending for him? He not only has to see the source of his low self esteem and borderline suicidal feelings achieving the dream he'll now never have, but you want them to WORK together?!

@nutzgunray-lvt 👋

Well a lot of the time looking into Reddit is always a mistake unless you're asking a very niche question and you get an answer from 9 years ago or something.

I feel like a lot of people whether that be in universe or in fandom forget that izuku is a 16 year old child soldier. Izuku is more than a decade younger than a lot of the villains in the leauge. He is a child who has been exploited by the system and abused. We have seen in 425 izuku try and talk to someone but simply get brushed aside and while I don't blame shoto or ochako for doing that as they probably didn't mean it and are traumatised themselves it kinda of shows how much this has effected izuku. Also this doesn't help BECAUSE HORI GAVE US NO FLIPPING INTROPSECTION ON IZUKU'S BIT AGAIN!! Also Iam not sure if it's just me but Izuku's eye bags are heavily prominent in this chapter especially when he is talking to spinner.

The fandom especially the lov stans side of it love babayifying the actions of the leauge and hyper fixating on the humane soft side they may have while completely ignoring the horrible actions they commited. I talk about this better in one of @palesweetscherryblossom asks

I still can't believe that bk may of killed kurogiri. I don't even know when that happend and I checked the wiki but it says that kurogiris status is unconfirmed so I will be waiting until the last chapter to fully acknowledge if kurogiri is dead or not. However this brings up the point that the fandoms is being quite hypocritical if they're calling izuku a murder but not bakugo. They both killed people but for some reason it's izuku thats put into public light and bashing instead of all the other characters that have killed in the series including villains.

Yeah sometimes it feels like hori is looking at discussions of his series and implementing ideas but I think that goes more for his Japanese fans than us to be honest because after all they're his target demographic. I remember when I first joined Tumblr one of my earliest posts talked about how horikoshi's writing decisions were heavily influenced by his fans which may or may not be true.

At this point IAM convinced that izuku isn't getting a proper happy ending. Every time I think it can't get worse it does. Just by your comment of them starting an agency together haunts me just like the possibility that bk may become the number one hero

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Public Enemy: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: Someone is terrorizing the public by taking their comfort away from them. You're trying to heal from being in prison, and Spencer helps as much as he can.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

The next morning, Spencer places the photo of the dead cop on the board where all the other victims are, and the other officers immediately become pissed.

"Those gotta be on the board, too? What's the next great bit of advice from the FBI, huh?" an officer scoffs.

"Take it easy, Gardella. This ain't the time or the place," Detective Moreland steps in.

"If we hadn't listened to them, Liddy and I would be having our morning cup of coffee."

"We profiled that he was mission-oriented, and this kill doesn't fit that pattern," Hotch says. "The murder of Officer Liddy is a significant departure even for someone as unpredictable as this unsub. This was a murder of self-preservation just to get away. This location is not his MO. It was secluded with no audience. He stabbed instead of cut."

"So?"

"This was a personal attack," you say. "He must have pissed him off somehow."

"He's out prowling the streets right now looking for another victim so the city will pay attention to him. You've been handed a list of locations that we think might be of particular interest to the unsub. We're asking you to double and even triple your surveillance in these areas."

"Keep your wits about you, guys," Detective Moreland sighs.

"Detective, we'd like to speak to you."

"Sure. That's it, fellas. Thank you."

Detective Moreland follows the team into a private conference room to speak.

"Detective, the story has become about Officer Liddy. We need to get the attention back on the unsub or we're afraid that he may lash out. Up until now, the unsub has been disciplined enough to avoid killing if the circumstances weren't right. Like an arsonist won't set a fire if there's someone there to see him leaving while smoke is billowing out the windows."

"What if we say that one of the buildings didn't burn? How would the unsub react to that?" Rossi asks.

"He'd be compelled to come back and finish the job."

"Then we pick one of the previous locations and show that the community has rallied around it, that they're not afraid of him."

"Okay, so we need to find a location with the greatest symbolism up to this point. That's easy. The church. We use the city's fallen hero as inspiration," Emily says.

"Should we get the chief of police or the mayor to make a statement? It could help with inspiring people," JJ asks.

"We've got something better. Captain Collins' widow."

This doesn't sit well with JJ.

"I cannot ask her to do that, Rossi."

"She's highly visible, and she's someone with whom the entire city can sympathize. When she tells the city not to be afraid to come back to church, the unsub can't ignore that."

"What happens if this draws the unsub to Meg?"

"We keep her with us. We'll take the bastard down."

JJ has no choice but to go to Meg and ask her to do the impossible. Meg, however, won't do it. Hotch called the Mayor to ask him for a press conference, but he too won't sign off on it.

"How long has it been since Officer Liddy was stabbed?" Rossi asks after Hotch gets off the phone with the mayor.

"Sixteen hours."

"If the unsub was going to go out on a spree, he would have done it by now. Why hasn't he?"

"He killed a cop. He's probably laying low."

"Maybe, but we've profiled this guy like an arsonist. It's the aftermath that matters, not the act."

"Do you think he's feeding off the grief of the police department instead?"

"If so, then he's found something new to get off on," Rossi shrugs.

Hotch stops Detective Moreland when he walks by.

"Detective. I need a list of establishments where your officers socialize--bars, restaurants, pool halls, everything you've got."

"Sure."

You use the desk phone in the conference room to call Penelope and the rest flock over when they hear her voice fill the room.

"Comrades, I have amassed employment records for police hangouts. What do you want me to look for?"

"White males twenty-five to thirty."

"I need more than that."

"Arsonists typically have a stronger relationship with their mothers than their fathers, so look for single-mother households with a history of abuse, bad divorce, or paternal violence," Spencer says.

"Manifestations in the son, too, Garcia like juvenile arrests, petty crimes, and a significant drop in grades," Derek adds.

"Thank you, boys. That will do. Oh, this looks like something."

"What do you have?" Rossi asks.

"Connor O'brien. His dad went to prison for... Oh, lordy... not only setting mom's apartment on fire but making it look like it was an accident so he could collect on the insurance. Then Connor testified against his father at the trial. He was ten."

"Where is he now?"

"He works at the quality cafe."

"Guys, it's across the street," Detective Moreland says.

"That's why I felt eyes on us before the profile. He's been watching this whole time."

"Thanks, Garcia."

Your team and Detective Moreland head across the street to the cafe but luck would have it that Connor isn't there. An employee says he stepped out for a smoke break but that was ten minutes ago. The officers who are supposed to be on patrol duty are sitting at the counter, and Moreland isn't happy about that.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We were done with our shifts, and Sowe poured one out for Liddy."

"Did you talk to him about the recent murder?" you ask.

"Of course. We said we'd catch the coward."

Idiots. "You pissed him off."

"I got the address," Hotch says. "1121 Admiral, Apartment 16."

"That's on the other side of town."

"Dave, you and Morgan meet Prentiss and SWAT on site."

Rossi and Derek leave the cafe and head over to the apartment where Prentiss and SWAT are. The place is empty, of course, and it looks like he isn't going back there. It looks to Emily that he is going to make this one his final stand before killing himself. Located on his wall is every article that was printed about his mother's death. He has the prayer card from her funeral and birthday cards--all of them signed by his mom, not his dad. His dad is already in prison so he can't hurt him, so he goes after places that remind him of his father. The only way he can get through to his dad is with violence.

They come back empty-handed, and you call Penelope for more information on his father. If you have any hope of finding Connor, you have to know who his father is.

"His name is William O'Brien, aka Billy. He was a connected guy who specialized in turning faulty wiring into a three-alarm fire. Because of Connor's testimony, he was given a life sentence for the murder of his wife, but it was recently reduced to the possibility of parole in five years."

"When was the sentence reduced?" Hotch asks.

"One month ago."

"There's the stressor," you say. "The killings started right after."

"Why would he do this to get back at his father if he's already in jail?" Detective Moreland asks.

"Somebody's gotta pay. He's a tough guy now."

Connor is so pissed that he already found another victim in the local library. At the news, JJ becomes upset, especially when she finds out that a baby was with her when the unsub killed the woman. You put a hand on her shoulder for comfort and she grabs your hand with a slight smile that tells you she appreciates this gesture.

"Where did it happen?"

"In a library about a mile from here. The mother was found next to her crying baby."

"Is the baby okay?" you ask.

"Not a scratch, but they haven't found the knife yet."

"It's his memento now. He won't stop until he's killed as many people as possible."

"We have to go to our original plan... Create an event he can't resist coming to. He has to believe he was unsuccessful," Rossi says. "Is the mother already gone?"

"She bled out at the scene. The EMTs stopped working on her."

"Tell them to keep trying to resuscitate her."

"She's dead."

"The unsub doesn't know that. Tell the press she made it, that she's hanging on for dear life, and we've organized a candlelight vigil for her tonight. If he's mission-oriented and he thinks she's still alive, he'll have to come back for her. We'll be waiting."

"Let the husband know what's going on so he's aware," Hotch says.

"Have the press there. Tell them to go live and to keep the focus on us as much as they can."

Meg, the military captain's wife, came into the police station as soon as she heard a mother had died. She wants to help, and JJ is more than happy to let her in on what she needs her to do. Meg agreed to do a press conference speaking about her husband in hopes it'll draw Connor out. He will be watching and he will be pissed.

"As many of you know, my husband Captain Paul Collins was murdered this past Sunday. The support I have received has been inspiring which is why I'm asking everyone to support the latest victim, Julia Vecchia, who is fighting for her life right now at St. Frazier's Hospital. On behalf of my husband, we are asking you to come together at St. Frazier's Church to hold a candlelight vigil tonight. Please, help restore this great city. Thank you."

That night, your team and Moreland's team are in the crowd of people waiting for Connor to show up. He won't have a choice. He will have to come here and ruin this experience for everyone by killing someone. You're biting your thumbnail nervously because you can't help but think about the possibility that you'll screw up.

"Do you think this'll work?" Moreland asks.

"It should. We've shifted the public's focus from Connor to his victim. That should make him angry enough to show up and try to do something about it."

Something prickles at the back of your neck and you remove your nail from your mouth and look into the crowd. You look to your right and see Connor stalking angrily towards the crowd, a knife in hand.

"Rossi, there he is. He's right there!"

"Morgan, go," Hotch says.

"Connor O'brien? Put your hands where I can see them and get down on the ground!" Connor immediately bails as soon as he sees Derek, but your friend is a lot faster than him. "Hey! FBI! Stop right there! Stop moving!" He tackles Connor to the ground and pins his hands behind his back. "Stop fighting! That's enough! It's over!"

"She's dead! There no possible way she could have survived!" he wails.

"Connor O'Brien, you're under arrest. We know why you came down here. Do you?"

"I had to make sure. She... she's dead, right?"

Derek pulls him but the smile doesn't leave Connor's face.

"What are you smiling at? You're going to jail," Detective Moreland glares.

"In jail, they treat cop killers like Kings."

"First you gotta see how we treat 'em at the station. Get him out of here."

Connor is taken away and Rossi approaches you with a small smile.

"You did really well. That's what not letting your fear control you looks like."

"Thank you, Rossi," you smile.

Rossi pulls you into a hug and you savor the moment. I did it. I overcame this obstacle. Enough is... Enou... Maybe another day. You and Spencer sit in the same seats on the plane as you were when you first arrived, and he has his arm around your shoulders. There it is. His touch. His loving and delicate touch. So comforting.

"It's hard to believe that guy was so starved for attention that he murdered all those people just to one-up his father," Emily scoffs.

"I spoke with Detective Moreland about Connor's father. He said the older police knew to give him a wide berth. He didn't say much, but when he did, people listened."

"The adult version of a bully," Derek chuckles.

"There are lots of ways that sons defeat their fathers."

"I just keep getting PhDs," Spencer says with a smile.

The others still converse about the case but you look up at Spencer with a smile on your face. There is so much love in your eyes that it makes him blush slightly under your gaze. 

"I am so proud of you."

You lean up and kiss him quickly, and he pulls you as close as you can get. Your head rests on his chest and he kisses the top of your head.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispers back.

"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when his son gives to his father, both cry." - William Shakespeare

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I posted a song kind of trash talking my parents?

👨‍👩‍👧🎵

(TLDR at the bottom)

Okayy, hear me out. I (20F) am a musician and songwriter and I tend to write about well, my life. Music is the place where I go to relax/vent, basically a creative outlet. Now, this is not my job and I'm not a big artist by any means, I just do this for fun and sometimes post it online in a public account.

My relationship with my parents (43F, 50M) has historically been not great. I'm the eldest and have often been made feel the reason why my parents didn't divorce when their marriage started failing. My father has a temper and was absent for a part of my life, and my mother also has a temper and is very critical of me. Overall, not parents of the year.

Now, a couple months ago I started writing a song about basically hating that I share traits with them and how it fucks me up sometimes to know despite how different I try to be from them, they're still my parents and live in me. The lyrics aren't outright disrespectful or anything like that, but I do complain about my relationship with each of them, their behaviours and how I at times don't feel loved or cared for.

Yesterday I finished it and I actually really like it, I showed it to one of my friends and they really liked it too, and told me I should post it so others could listen. I'd like to, but right now things with my parents have been good and while everything in the song is true, I don't want them to feel judged or antagonized. Along with this, friends and family alike have access to the place I post my songs in, and while I've vented to a couple of friends about my parental issues, by posting it I'd basically be airing out our dirty laundry to a bunch of people, which I know they'd dislike and might even hurt them. We might not be the bestest of friends, but they are my parents and I love them. But again, everything is true, and I like to think maybe if they listened to it they'd understand me more. And, it would not be the first time I post a song complaining about someone/something in my personal life, so it wouldn't be exactly off-brand.

So, idk, WIBTA?

TLDR: I wrote a song complaining about the behavior and not great relationship I have with my parents and I really want to post it, but I feel like posting it might embarrass and hurt them by airing out our problems online.

What are these acronyms?

[cbsxreader]

if ur ok with more fantastical and/or meta stuff, could i please have the mercs with an s/o who was teleported to the tf2 verse from a much more serious setting and is still getting used to their comedic surroundings?

Oooh

Mercs with an S/o who is from a different universe

Tw: (slight mention of drinking in Demo's one)

Scout

Is a bit confused, since he's used to his world and hasn't really thought of it being different in some way.

But he does kind of understand his S/o's frustration, from what he's heard from them, his world doesn't seem bad in the slightest.

If his S/o asks him about something, he'll act as if he knows all about it, but his S/o can tell that he's just a motormouth. He does say the truth sometimes, but it sounds so outrageous that his S/o doesn't believe him anyways.

"Did ya' know that I'm God's gift to women?"

"Yeah...sure you are."

Soldier

Loves that his S/o is tough and ready for anything, but is oblivious to the fact that something must have happened to them that made them that way.

Once he does get it though, he is really protective of his S/o in the way that he teaches them his infamous necksnap, how to defend themselves and how to use certain weapons.

"You're doing great, cupcake!"

Pyro

Is kind of a distraction for his S/o.

Like, both the fact that they're strangelly wholesome and that they see the world completely differently makes their S/o worry less about everything else.

Pyro holds their S/o's hand if they are in public or are feeling paranoid.

If their S/o wants an explanation for something they'll have to ask someone else, but if their S/o tells them about it afterwards, they will draw a picture of them

Demoman

He is at a loss for words at first, because he, just like his coworkers, hasn't thought about his world differently from a different perspective.

He, for once, worries about his S/o drinking their trauma away and hides his alchohol better, locking it away in safes, lockers and cabinets.

If his S/o feels paranoid, he'll bring them away from people and soothe them.

Engineer

He's honestly sorry for it, but there are times when he's more enticed about how his S/o might have ended up in his world than his S/o's world itself or their backstory.

"Did ya' temper with anything that could have caused ya' to teleport to our universe?"

"...We were just talking about how leaders in my world killed people for no reason..."

"*clears throat* oh..right, my apologies...carry on..."

But other than that, he tackles one silly thing after another, telling his S/o about them as well as providing theories to them about his world to calm them down and keep them from overthinking.

Heavy

Is willing to act as a personal bodyguard for his S/o. He always stays by their side and makes sure they're not feeling paranoid or stressed.

If his S/o asks something about his world, he tries to explain it but quickly starts tripping over his words, apologizes and suggests they go and visit Medic or Engineer.

Heavy is also a good listener and wants to know what his S/o's world was like.

Medic

He is INVESTED in his S/o's world and backstory, gladly listening to them when they feel like talking about it. He even specifically asks to not leave out the gruesome and/or serious details.

S/o: *talking about a traumatizing event that dramatically changed their life*

Medic: *looking at his S/o, listening to them carefully, hand under his chin, unbothered by the theme*

Medic lets them watch his operations if his S/o needs a bit of space to breathe from exploring his comedic world.

Would try to explain anything that ponders his S/o's mind about his world, succeeding in explaining his medical adventures and achievements.

Sniper

He tries to slowly but steadily explain how the world works and he himself realizes how silly it is compared to his S/o's home.

"Wait, wait. So, New Zealand is underwater and you're the last person from there and Australia is full of buff people with moustaches, because of a metal very creatively called 'Australium'?"

"Yea...we're all so used these things that Oi haven't even thought why they work in such ways.."

He understands that his S/o is still paranoid and helps them get used to his world by making lighthearted jokes about their surroundings as well as actually gently soothing them when they're paranoid.

Spy

Spy is a bit confused at first, thinking his S/o is crazy. But he spends more time with them and from the way they talk, act and interact with their surroundings, he can tell that they're telling the truth.

If his S/o is paranoid or stressed, he lets them use his cloak, so they can observe the chaos from aside and learn the weirdness of his world without needing to worry about them getting involved in it.

Spy also promises his S/o that he's always going to make sure they're safe and will watch their back.

"From now on, zhere won't be a time when you aren't safe."

Ms. Pauling

Finally, someone understands her!

"Wow! And they called me crazy, can you believe it!?"

Pauling is a great listener and lets her S/o talk about themselves and their world, if it makes them feel better.

Always provides her S/o with something to always protect themselves with (guns, knives, tranquilizers - you name it)

She may or may not sneak her S/o in to her office, if they're feeling anxious about their surroundings.

Sorry for the wait, anon!

[giggly-squiggily]

SQ-SQ-SQUIGGILY :D so happy to see you're back and that you're doing better, i hope the universe is nothing but kind to you in the month of the rainbow ♡♡

i watched the new demon slayer episode today and it made me think something and right after i saw you were back and i was like gasp :o so here's the thingy for you, i hope you can enjoy it a little bit <3

the infamous sanemi-tanjiro-dynamic in the modern au

quick timeline on tanjiro meeting the hashira: shinobu at 3 (him and kanao are in the same kindergarten) - giyuu at 6 (he starts going to urokodaki's dojo where giyuu trains) - kyojuro at 7 (nezuko befriends senjuro in kindergarten) - sanemi at 9 (he befriends genya in school)

so when sanemi first meets tanjiro he is fifteen years old and has every problem in the world which is a great mindset to meet him in (this is also pre-self-reflection-arc-sanemi we're talking about here so he's basically in crisis mode 24/7)

what happens is that he picks up genya after school and genya is standing there with another kid. and they're talking and seem like they're having a good time. which is weird because genya literally does not have friends.

the shinazugawa kids all struggle with being ostracized to some extent because of all the horrible gossip surrounding the drama with their dad and the bad rep sanemi usually gets which leads to his younger siblings being bullied more often than he'd like ("your big brother beat up my big brother so i'm gonna hate you forever")

so when he comes to pick up genya and sees this other kid there he's immediately alarmed because who is this kid? should i know this kid? has genya told me about this kid? why is he talking to genya? is he making fun of genya? are they laughing with each other or is he laughing at genya?

when he gets to them genya is immediately all excited and introduces sanemi to his new friend tanjiro kamado who smiles and bows and says "it's very nice to meet you!" and even tho he can't really put his finger on it sanemi immediately Does Not Like This Kid™

but then tanjiro's little sister comes running out the gate and jumps into his arms and oh. oh that's why.

because him and his siblings don't do this in public. that's what he drilled into them because if people see his innocent little baby siblings be super close to their rotten big brother? no thank you, sanemi would like them to have a shot at finding friends and being accepted. but just because it's his own policy doesn't mean he has to like it and when genya asks if he can go to tanjiro's place the next day sanemi says maybe and glares at tanjiro to make him stop smiling (he doesn't)

for the next two months or so tanjiro is all genya ever talks about and sanemi hates it hates it hates it

"tanjiro shared his lunch with me!" i'm sorry i didn't have time to make you something today. "tanjiro introduced me to a lot of other kids at the playground!" i'm sorry they all run away when i take you there. "tanjiro always protects his siblings when they get picked on at school!" i'm sorry i can't be there when they pick on you. "tanjiro always goes to visit his father's grave with his siblings!" we don't do that here. "tanjiro says it's important to talk about bad things that happened!" we don't do that here. "tanjiro says we should try to forgive so we can heal!" we don't do that here. "why not?" i don't know.

is sanemi aware that he's jealous of an elementary schooler? yes. and he does have the decency to feel bad about it and he's aware he should be happy for genya that he found a friend. because of course he's glad that genya befriended another kid but did it have to be this kid?

saving comes in the form of 17 year old tengen listening to sanemi vent about this nine year old and going "you're actually embarrassing yourself right now"

"excuse me?" - "you really wanna be pissed that genya found a friend?" - "that's not what this is." - "sure looks like it." - "fuck you, actually." - "dude, are you even hearing yourself? that kid is nine, you should be happy to see that someone whose situation is similar to yours is handling it so well at such a young age." - "oh because i didn't handle it well?" - "you're not listening to me." - "you're talking down on me!" - "you're not listening to me."

and tengen shuts this shit down SO FAST when he goes "have you ever stopped to think that genya might try to be more like kamado instead of wanting you to be more like kamado?" and sanemi's words get stuck in his throat because he does tend to forget that genya is an older brother too. and now that he thinks about it, maybe genya is a lot warmer and more attentive to their younger siblings ever since he started hanging out with that kamado kid.

"i know you're not asking me but if you ask me, that's the best kind of friend genya can have. think about it. kamado could be the shittiest older brother too and you don't want that man. because i'm a shitty older brother and if that was me hanging out with genya i would spoil him so fast. i would absolutely ruin that kid that you put so much effort into raising well, but i'm not hanging out with genya because you raised him well and he knows what a good role model looks like and how he can grow from having a goid role model. that kid is so much like you, shinazugawa. would be a real fucking shame if you didn't let him be himself too."

sanemi is a lot less hostile towards tanjiro after that and he even feels better when genya is with tanjiro because he knows that genya will be fine. and tanjiro might be a bit apprehensive towards him after he sees sanemi roughhouse with sumi, but it doesn't take him long to figure out that it's all out of love and if sanemi gets a small ego boost from hearing tanjiro whisper to genya that his older brother is really cool, no one needs to know.

that being said, giyuu brings this kid along way too often and people under 18 should be officially banned from their board game nights because if he has to sit through one more lecture from kanae about keeping his language pg 13 he's gonna do something very illegal

REY! :D I appreciate it! I wish I could say things have been sunny on Squiggily's street but if I'm being honest I've been burned a few times within the first two weeks of rainbow month akrearjkeajr But we're thriving!

AHH I LOVE THIS HOLY- Sanemi in crisis mode 24/7 bless him; and the siblings struggling to make friends due to gossip and Sanemi's actions- God my heart 😭

Sanemi going into mild panic mode like: "Who is THAT?" jajrekjrjae and instantly not liking Tanjiro is such a canon event arjeakjrkjaerjke "He glares at Tanjiro to make him stop smiling (he doesn't) KJEJKRJKeKJRJWJKRJK

Tengen coming through with his sage advice and mirror words- we love to see it! Him shutting down all of Sanemi's BS is so true and real and YES.

HIS WITTLE EGO BOOST! I can totally see Sanemi puffing up some with pride hearing that; he's grinning to himself cause 'hell yeah- I've made a good impression' but he also feels bad too cause he was so aggro towards him for his own selfish reasons in the beginning- grateful that Tanjiro didn't run at the first sight; god- who was cutting onions right now- he must have got the dish soap in his eyes somehow-

KRERJEJKRJKE Giyu bringing them all like "I got the cabbage patch kids" ajkrkjelarkjejr Kanae adores them even if she has to lecture Sanemi on language- the first few nights they've all learned new words they shouldn't be using. Sanemi eventually has to make code words to express what he's mad about eventually- no one knows what "For Flock's Sake!" means but Kanae's happy and Nezuko isn't casually dropping F bombs in class anymore so it all worked out.

This is gold; thank you so much for sharing Rey! I love this so much AHHH!!!

[twinsoftriumph]

Do you have any hc for the twins ? Regular or angst ones ?

oh man yes ABSOLUTELY. before i go on though a few Disclaimers. some of these have been alluded to in asks before so there might be a bit of repetition in that regard. and also some will be theory related and moreso going off the assumption that certain extra material is not necessarily Canon in game. also i go into more Individual headcanons later in the post. i won't go into EVERYTHING but this gets long regardless. headcanons below the cut!

concept art related stuff

i've probably brought this up at least 3 other times but it drives me a little crazy that in the concept art timeline, the TWINS are the ones present at the king's coronation ceremony. this pic sucks but it's the only one

this is the first thing that made me believe the twins would have sided with the king in the whole dark stone/light creature conflict

concept art says "The Twins used to lead ceremonial spectacle that honored the King's victories in the Dark Stone Era" which is self explanatory

it ALSO says "Amphitheater was original site of King's coronation" as well as stuff about being free from fire worship and using dark stone for defense.

another reason is valley itself being a city of entertainment even before we got dreams and performance. i'm not saying this was All there was to valley as it seems genuinely culturally rich, but it gives a very Bread And Circuses vibe (superficial distractions from serious problems)

not to mention valley having darkstone contraptions Everywhere.

and who better to lead this than two energetic entertaining athletes?

since they were labeled the "priestess" ancestor in concept art, i think that could very much relate back to the king coronation ceremony. i can see them holding religious ceremonies in the fire era or very important kingdom-wide events (and i'd go as far as to say the king's coronation is religious in its own way due to the godlike powers granted by darkstone)

but on a less dramatic note, i also like to imagine it meant they were in touch with the emotions of their people in valley, offering advice and listening to their troubles Like a priestess would

more personal hc stuff

of course i think there is a genuine significant degree of sibling rivalry, but i ALSO think they play it up for the entertainment aspect. everything in the public eye is a big performance to them

the Sibling Rivalry is a little more complicated than that though due to my belief that they split into two upon falling to the sky kingdom and at times have such insane synergy that you'd think they're the same person because in a way. they Are (i talked about this in an in-character ask once)

but anyway i think they are very smart and aware of how they present themselves to other people and of their influence

they know how to get people energized/riled up regardless of whether they're the ones competing or not. GREAT commentators who can project their voice and capture everyone's attention with incredible persuasion and dynamism

do i think they flirt with the crowd? yes.

due to them representing young adulthood, i think they have a lot of internal contradictions and conflicts that they have a hard time working through

they can absolutely be arrogant and Not in a fun way. they want to feel justified in their convictions especially when it comes to siding with the king so strongly. so basically they doubt themselves but if you doubt them you'll probably just piss them off

they feel their emotions strongly but also have an incredibly logical aspect to their emotions and will get irritated at themselves for "irrational" emotions

they care A Lot to the point of trying to distance and distract themselves from caring, especially when shit is going down in the dark stone era

they love the attention but very much value their time out of the spotlight and even away from each other.

i like imagining that valley has Fights For Entertainment (not like any sort of gladiator to-the-death thing). they'll fight each other once in a while for a crowd but their sparring in private is very different

i think they have petty squabbles over small things but private sparring is letting off steam and being open to genuine criticism. by which i mean they are there to stay sharp and help each other by pointing out weaknesses

there's no aspect of entertaining an audience but it still flows like a dance. it is, however, more... ruthless? no intentionally slipping up for drama or dragging things out or interacting with the crowd

the nicks/cracks in their masks are from each other. i also did an in-character ask for this (i hate how it turned out lmao) but i think the idea i prefer now is that they had an Incredibly rocky time orienting themselves as a split star and dealing with their identity. i dunno maybe they tried to kill each other at one point. just sibling things

at the end of the day they are ride or die

they have adhd. To Me. (<- has adhd)

individual headcanons

they have similarly androgynous voices but there are some distinctions which i am Not sure how to describe. i imagine sah to have a clearer voice that sounds more playful/teasing with a bit of an Edge. for mekh i imagine a more theatrical, regal quality with maybe a sort of... smoothness to it? (this part is especially influenced by how they carry themselves in their cutscene)

sah tends to skirt around what they mean, mekh is more blunt

mekh is slightly taller. don't bring this fact up around the twins

when it comes to theatrical productions, i think it's funny to imagine sah being invested in like. the romance and comedy like Oh my god they were roommates and for mekh to be like YEAHH RIP EACH OTHER'S HEADS OFF and very into the drama

sah roasts a mean dark crab

mekh goes to the counter and says They asked for no pickles (yes i already drew this yes im saying it again)

with other elders

i will quickly reiterate and elaborate on some stuff i've stated before

daleth: noble and gentle, always seems to understand the bigger picture. the twins clashed a lot with them in the dark stone era and treated them rather flippantly, which they regret later on as daleth gave them very important guidance when they were trying to figure out their identity. daleth eventually reached a point where they felt the twins were too out of reach amidst their glory, and interactions were resigned on daleth's part and curt on the twins'

ayin: always hopeful and kind towards the twins, but ultimately they could not truly understand each other. ayin wished to be closer to them and also helped them in designing the valley's architecture. again, with how close ayin was to the light creatures, the twins became rather standoffish and especially defensive in believing dark stone was absolutely necessary to the livelihood of their realm

teth: someone they could connect with emotionally. they had a quiet understanding of each other's feelings of self-contradiction, and teth was not one to demand conversation or vulnerability. teth was, however, someone who would not back down from an argument, so they were more prone to Heated Verbal Disagreements even if they were relatively friendlier. neither are sure they can trust the other's impulses

tsadi: trained with the twins and became protective over them at some point, maintaining a friendly and mutual relationship a decent way into the dark stone era. both feel a great deal of loyalty towards the king, believing themselves to be standing for the good of the ancestors. things eventually sour between them as conditions in now-wasteland degrade, but tsadi blames themself far more for everything that happened than literally any of the elders

lamed: very mixed feelings. lamed recognizes their sheer influence and skill but still finds them to be too impulsive. the twins really are not that shallow or oblivious to lamed's opinions, but lamed is the Genius of geniuses and can come off as condescending or above-it-all even without intending to. stiff in the face of lamed's occasional sentimentality

ok im just gonna. stop myself here because i think my brain is melting from Samekh Thoughts but um. if you made it this far congrats! i hope this was enjoyable to read!

[31nightshade]

Steven Universe AU.

It was another gathering, another one of quackitys party's to stay loved by the public and him forgotten, not that he minds much tho, he's uses to it. 

Okay almost ready, he grabs his mask and heads off. He walks down the dim hallways of stone and marble, being lit up by torches, listening to the clacking of his shoes. It felt so lonely he felt so lonely right now. His best friend (chush) is off taking care of his duty as a pearl. Missa walks into the great hall almost as soon as he walks through the door he's overwhelmed by the amount of people.

He takes a breath in and out. 'we can do this missa.' He weaved himself around the people he almost got lost until he saw roier his sweet, strong, overprotective younger brother talking to his purl cellbit. Roier spots him and calls him over " MISSA OVER HERE!!" missa walks over and greets them. "buenas tardes como has estado hermanito y cellbit." ( good afternoon, how are you little brother, and cellbit.) Roier awkwardly Chuckles. " Come on man, no need to be so proper, we are here to have fun." Cellbit is a lot calmer but nevertheless enthusiastic. " Yeah! Man, relax, Phil should be showing up soon." Roier and cellbit share a look as missa's face becomes flushed At The Mention of his purl. Not a second later he feels a tap on the back of his shoulder. " Hi mate, you good, you seem a little tense." Missa turns around to face the other. Phils eyes follow, like a bird looking for prey, yet with the kindest smile on his face.

"Yes! I am good no worries!!,es que hay tanta gente, y ¡uh!-'' phil presses a finger up to Missa lips, missa can feel his face get more red. " It's okay mate, no need to explain to me right?." Phil gives him the most goofy smile that Missa has a hard time keeping himself composed, and not bursting out into loud laughter. Not wanting anyone to pay  attention to him.

—----☆☆

Phil spots roier and greets him formily, then slaps cellbits back so hard he almost falls but roier catches him. Phil cackles his ass off at the site, cellbit nudges him back but not as hard as phil because he is his Superior.

"That hurt man ow!, any ways how has it been going?" Phil shrugs his shoulders. "Not much other than making sure everything is in line, you know my job." Phil rolls his eyes. He doesn't care much for his job. Having to Listen to Diamonds that he's not even the pearl of!!, doesn't really appeal to him. But nonetheless he'll still follow through. Roier and Cellbet  almost gave him a look of pity, he shut that down pretty quickly. " But when I don't have to do that, I hang out with missa."  Phil smiles.

—-----☆☆

Hearing his name missa Tunes back into the conversation. He looks at Phil and he gives missa a thumbs up. Missa smiles nervously looking for Qackity and Max but they're nowhere to be seen. " roier, where are our siblings." Roier turns to look for himself; he can't seem to spot them either."Uum I don't know." "Oh I can go find them!" Missa turns to go look." No you're not you are going to stay here." Roier grabs him by the shoulder, stopping him . " Roier I can go find them just fine on my own!"Missa I said NO. You will follow my order now stay here."  Roier's tone was cold, didn't get this serious often, it scares Missa a bit even though he knows his little brother would never hurt him he still stayed in place wanting to avoid a scene. 

"....ok" not raising his voice above a whisper.

_______☆☆

Phil watches the scene go down, unable to intervene in the matters of his superiors. He felt so angry he understands Roier's protectiveness over Missa after  what happened.... but did he have to be so cold about it, Missa has done nothing to deserve this. So instead of interfering he places a hand on Missa's shoulder. "I can go with him if that makes you feel better about him going?" He will just have to take control of the scene.

[mymanyfandomramblings]

Glee-cap: Episode 4x15--Girls (and Boys) On Film

The continuation of my first-time watch of Glee episodic recaps, featuring my live reactions.

Okay, Emma looks so cute in a suit with her hair done up and red lipstick. Old Hollywood styles always look stunning on her

Will meanwhile...I don't like his hair slicked back like that

"You're All The World To Me" seriously suits Jayma's voice so well. I didn't used to really like Emma's voice, but her songs in the last two episodes have been wonderful

"THE HOUSE IS UPSIDE DOWN" I don't know why I find that as funny as I do

Sugar's outfit is truly brilliant. Sugar is truly brilliant.

Sam and his impressions, my beloveds

Sue's rants. I have never felt so seen as I have with Sue, specifically and only because her sentences go on for so long and have innumerable themes, subjects and lists, broken up only with commas and semicolons

"Shout" is super fun, and I never would have guessed that Brittany's voice would sound so good with soul music. My one concern is in the 'little bit softer now' part it just sounds like they've...turned the volume down, not like Blaine's actually singing quieter. That aside, it's so fun.

Sugar lying on the table is hilarious

This is how I find out that Downton Abbey was around in 2013. Also Adam does a very good Hugh Bonneville impersonation. Sam, take notes.

I can't tell whether Kurt's tone is sarcastic when he's talking about 'She's Having A Baby', but it is funny

Also Santana. I am liking her more this season, and I guess her saying offensive things is slightly nicer when she's not doing it in a mean-spirited way (or you know, a comparatively less mean-spirited way)

Kurt's introduction of Moulin Rouge. Comedy gold

I don't always like Kurt and Blaine's harmonies, but they work here

That looks like a great hug. That was an amazing hug.

Santana loves stirring up drama, and sometimes it makes her fun, and sometimes it makes her really frustrating

Although I do enjoy her calling out Brody for being a creep. I don't like him either.

Also Santana rooting through pockets and draws--HILARIOUS. She's doing it with such intensity too.

"You guys pretend to be all accepting and stuff, but when your friend shows up, moves into your home and goes through all your stuff, you're offended?" Okay, I can forgive all of her other offences briefly, Santana is too funny in this episode for me to hold them against her

Adam's accent just makes everything he says amazing

Finn and Artie committing to the bit with the wigs

Emma's parents are so equal part funny and horrible

Adams 'yea' is adorable

I LOVE that the boys have incorporated Artie's wheelchair into their choreo. Allyship fr.

Also, I know Sam was behind 'Old Time Rock n Roll' (a song I rly like btw)

I'm not convinced the girls can top that. It was legitimately an awesome mashup

Marley looks stunning

Girl, why would you ever believe Kitty when she says she won't tell. She's an awful friend.

I feel like all the glee bullies (except Quinn) do this thing where they feel personally compelled to zone in on particular physical features when talking about and to people

Marley, I pray you do not listen to Kitty. She is an awful friend, I repeat. Also her advice has never gotten you anywhere ever

Yes, Unique lead!

Oh my, Marley's voice suits this song to utter perfection *chef's kiss*

Old Hollywood glamour will always suit everyone

Also their mashup is straight-up out of Moulin Rouge, so I'm not sure they should be counted

Adam truly shines in this episode

I cannot not smile when Finn does. The eyebrow-raise, crooked-smile, shrug combo is just so sweet

I can't believe Will got his students involved in the public serenade, but then, this is Will

Emma's nightdress is so pretty

Okay now I know why the students were involved--so we can get this awkward moment when he thanks them and makes them leave

One nice thing about this show is that they do recycle outfits--Emma's coat in this scene is from S2 Sectionals

And they're still avoiding the whole Finn-and-Emma thing. I guess they think drama is better if you let it stew.

"I'm not. I mean, I am. Just not now." Santana, I will not say this often but, I love you

Santana genuinely being very comforting. I am liking S4 Santana

Jake Puckerman and Marley Rose--ilysm.

Oh no, girl. You are not imagining Ryder instead of Jake. Unlike, the Finn/Emma thing which needs to be addressed, I would really rather the Ryder-kissing-Marley thing be dismissed as a moment of weakness from Ryder and they go back to normal, where Jarley are sweet and Ryder is a good friend.

Marley, you need to get him into a good headspace for this kind of thing, not just drop it on him when he's just finished with a Big Romantic Gesture

(one the flipside I am so glad she told him before Kitty did. Kitty's evil successfully averted!)

And the winner is...everyone. (it's obviously the boys, even though the girls looked and sounded spectacular, the boys were original and more creative)

Sugar!!! Love her!!!

Finn finally confesses and like Marley, chooses a poor moment. I do, however, like that he got it all out there, rather than just going with the select information.

Cory Monteith truly was The Actor for subtle facial expressions. He really did put 100% acting effort into Finn

Britt taking off her shoe--love it