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santa saw you reading all that gay porn

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your favorite devil's favorite arch devil

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the fact that I’ve actually had this happen multiple times when I’ve entered a new fandom is hilarious like what do you MEAN

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As an art request can you draw Fabian trying to do the yawn arm around shoulder move on Riz

the boys ever your honor

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Hello and Happy New Year \o/!

I'm here to tell you about a silly fabriz teacher au where Riz and Fabian are the Professor Brickwall and Professor Oversharer that few students know are actually married with two kids.

Riz is essentially a TA at Aguefort. There to grade assignments, proctor exams and tests, and train the rogues' martial techniques. Leading by example, none of the Rogue students know anything about Professor Gukgak. It's a feat to even find out his first name is Riz. He wears a couple of rings, but never any on his ring finger. (It’s dangerous in his line of work for anyone to know that you're happily married.)

No pictures of anyone on his desk. None as his crystal's wallpaper. Nothing. Rumour is that he never leaves the school since, once, one of the senior rogues came in early and caught him in Eugenia's office already. Looking as if he'd slept over.

And it's not like he's a offputting or anything! He seems to get along fine with the other staff members and his professor evaluations always come back with high praises. Which has led to a general consensus among Aguefort Rogues that Professor Gukgak must be a quintessential Rogue with a tragic backstory that led to him having no family or friends. Leaving them to believe that Professor Gukgak must be a very lonely man.

On the other hand, ALL of the Aguefort Dance Bard and Fighter Multiclass students know about Mr. Seacaster's (Call me, Fabian!) darling Husband and Kids. Not a class goes by where Fabian doesn't mention or gush about his absolutely wonderful family. They know that his husband is a coffee-loving workaholic detective that he's been with since high school. They know that they have two kids, Briar and Revel, but they also know that those aren't their true names because Fabian’s husband observes Fey superstitions.

Though he never shows anyone any photos (he respects his husband's want of privacy), everyone is convinced that Fabian is essentially a romance book heroine that charmed a brooding Fae Prince on a Spring Break Quest into coming back to Elmville with him and is now living his happily ever after.

Of course, hardly any students have noticed an old Senior Prom couple photo hung up in the school's foyer of a much younger Professor Gukgak and Mr. Seacaster wearing matching suits and two halves of a BFF heart necklace.

Honestly Riz is SO disappointed in his rogue students. ALL THE CLUES ARE THERE. He even kept that photo in the foyer as a hint but no-one as pieced it together yet. Hell, there's a standing assignment to find out details about his life and write up a report but NOPE, NOTHING YET.

He's usually in at school early because 1) he still doesnt sleep as much as he's supposed to and 2) Fabian also gets up disgustingly early for training.

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Jorjuj and The Gukgak

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The Bad Kids as quotes on my phone part 2

Fantastic Riz art by @rose0fjericho

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On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

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maybe it's a little trite to relate a nobel peace winning poet's work to a silly little dnd show, but this poem really is perfect for Kristen in the Nightmare Forest

(if you wanna read more of this poet, here's a free pdf of her poetry up through 1993)

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legends and lattes ☕

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Viv and Tandri

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actually i’m still thinking about it who else is doing d&d like cody walsh. he’s an ex-mall goth he swears his life and soul to every cool person he sees he's convinced he’s cloud strife he keeps accidentally stabbing himself with his own sword. he’s marrying a demon puppet chimera abomination to save the timeline because he reminded him of jack skellington he’s facing down the demon king of nightmares and he’s just nearly killed himself with his own sword again. and all he can think about is his broken fucking moped

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that's safe enough for a bad kid

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love you siobhan ‘use the gun’ thompson. adaine is such a blorbo you don’t understand. she’s a nerd, she’s got anxiety, she killed her dad, she loves her sister and her friends, she’s a hater at her core, she’s the elven oracle, she bullied the fallinel government into giving her workers rights and she wants a gun, goddamnit!

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I love that the one consistent thing across the Time Quangles is that if Gorgug is there he will have an absolutely terrible time