#when they were just babies before they got promoted and split up

[clonememesfrikyeah]

So we know Rex is an arc captain, and Cody is a martial Commander. Implying that Rex has arc training where Cody does not. If Rex was part of the 212th before it split into the 501st when Anakin was knighted, then that means young Rex would have been young Cody’s arc trooper, and since Anakin would have been the battalion’s commander, Cody would have been the captain. Therefore they would have been Captain Cody and arc trooper Rex just like Captain Rex and arc trooper Echo&Fives&Jesse.

[espresso1patronum]

i'd die for you, baby

f1 racer megumi fushiguro! x f!reader

synopsis: you and megumi had been dating for nearly an year, and he was everything you had ever wished for in a boyfriend—kind, supportive, and endlessly sweet. on top of that, he was one of the best f1 racers in the world, renowned for his incredible skill and charm. however, as his fame skyrocketed, so did your fears of losing him. his schedule was jam-packed with races, interviews, and promotional events, leaving little time for the two of you. despite his efforts to carve out moments together, it often felt like you were competing for his attention against the demands of his career. you couldn’t shake the feeling that the distance between you was growing, clouded by misunderstandings and the pressures of his lifestyle. just when you thought you had a handle on things, a series of miscommunications and unexpected events unfolded, threatening to unravel everything you’d built together.

cw: mdni, afab!reader, aged up characters, fluff, ANGST with comfort ending, cursing, JEALOUS and angry gumi, megumi is REALLYYY possessive and protective, smut!, nsfw content, pussy eating, dominant af megumi, megumi is freakyyy hehe

wc: 9.4k -gimme a chance :(

a/n: this is gonna be cute, i swear.

divider cred: @cafekitsune tysm<3

you hadn't seen your boyfriend in days, and the concern for him had started to grow. but what could you do? he was one of the top f1 racers in the world, constantly on the move, always focused on the next race.

sometimes, it still seemed unreal that megumi fushiguro—the same enigmatic, effortlessly cool man—was your boyfriend. you were just a regular girl, and here he was, a living legend, the epitome of calm, collected mystery. how had this even happened? how had he fallen for you? those were the questions that often lingered in your mind, no matter how much he insisted that you stop overthinking. he was the best at everything, but somehow, he had chosen you.

you dialed your boyfriend’s number, only for it to go straight to voicemail. then it hit you—he must be tied up with a sponsor deal today. he had a busy schedule, and you knew these commitments often meant no time for calls or texts.

you remember the first time you met him like it was yesterday. your brother had dragged you to one of his races and even managed to get the after party tickets. you were sipping on a drink, trying to blend into the crowd of flashy celebrities and sponsors when you first saw him—megumi fushiguro. he stood at the far end of the room, surrounded by people, but even in that sea of faces, he somehow stood out. you’d never seen someone so effortlessly cool, so... handsome. his dark hair was tousled just right, and his sharp, mysterious eyes scanned the room with a quiet intensity that made your pulse quicken.

and that's how you met him. he was known for being aloof and rude with people, but when you had asked him for a picture, you saw a faint smile on his face and he agreed. somehow, you found yourself talking to him for hours, and by the end of the night, you couldn’t help but think that maybe—just maybe—you’d met the kind of guy you only read about in books. little did you know, that chance encounter would change everything.

you had just returned from college, exhaustion weighing you down, and you practically collapsed onto your unmade bed, letting out a heavy sigh. your mind was still buzzing from the day’s classes, but before you could settle into the comfort of your messy room, your phone rang. the name on the screen made your heart skip a beat—megumi.

you quickly answered, trying to push away the feeling of longing that always rushed over you when you heard his voice. "love, are you alright? are you eating well? you called earlier, so i got concerned." his words were soft but laced with genuine worry.

for a split second, you wanted to laugh—or maybe cry. how could he possibly be concerned about you? he had been the one running himself ragged, hopping from one race to the next, barely getting a moment to breathe. and yet here he was, acting like you were the one who needed to be taken care of.

you bit your lip, trying to keep the frustration at bay. "gumi, how are you? you’ve been going back and forth for the last two weeks. i barely get a chance to hear from you, and now you're worried about me?"

there was a brief silence on the other end of the line, and then you could almost hear him chuckling, though it was tinged with exhaustion. "i’m fine," he said, his voice steady but with a hint of something vulnerable underneath. "i just worry about you. i don’t want you to forget to take care of yourself when i’m not there."

you almost wanted to slap him for being so selfless, so completely megumi. but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. he was always worried about you, even when he had every right to be focused on himself.

"you're impossible," you muttered, but your heart was softening. "i’m fine. just tired. but i’ll be alright."

there was a long pause before he spoke again, his voice lower, more serious now. "i’ll make it up to you when i’m back. i promise."

"gumi, i miss you. when will you be back?" you murmured, the words slipping out before you could stop them. it had been so long since you’d seen him, and the emptiness in your chest had only grown with each passing day. you had gotten used to the calls, the texts, but it wasn’t the same as having him there beside you.

he chuckled softly on the other end of the line, and for a moment, you could almost picture that small, half-smile of his. "i don't know, baby," he said. "but i promise, it'll be pretty soon."

you sighed, the sound filled with both longing and a little bit of frustration. "i just… i need you here," you admitted, not caring if it sounded too vulnerable. it was true. you missed him more than you wanted to admit, and every day without him felt like an eternity.

"i know, love," he said, his voice softening. "i miss you too. but i’ll be back before you know it, okay? just a little longer."

the next day was pretty typical. you went through your usual routine—attending your classes, zoning out during lectures, and checking your phone more often than you should have, hoping for a message from megumi. just as you were gathering your things, preparing to leave, one of your friends pulled you aside.

“hey, someone’s waiting for you in the parking lot,” she said with a sly smile, her eyebrows waggling in that way that made you curious and a little suspicious. “a special delivery, maybe?”

you frowned, wondering who could possibly be waiting for you, but you didn’t have time to ask further. you thanked her and made your way out.

as you walked to the parking lot, your mind raced with possibilities, but nothing could have prepared you for what you saw when you turned the corner.

there, parked under the fading afternoon sun, was a sleek, shiny black ferrari—a car you knew all too well. your heart skipped a beat as you saw him leaning casually against it, looking like he had just stepped out of a magazine cover.

megumi.

he looked up as you approached, a small, knowing smile spreading across his face. it was that smile, the one that always made your heart flutter, the one that meant he had a surprise up his sleeve. before you could even process what was happening, your legs were moving on their own, and you were running toward him.

he caught you easily, lifting you off the ground in an embrace that felt like a weight you didn’t even know you were carrying was finally lifted. you wrapped your arms around him, inhaling the familiar scent of him, feeling the warmth of his presence that you had missed so much.

"surprise?" he murmured into your ear.

you laughed, feeling a mix of shock and pure happiness. "what are you doing here? i didn’t expect you for days," you said, pulling back just enough to look at him, still trying to process the sudden appearance of your boyfriend.

"well," he began, his fingers brushing through your hair as he set you down gently, "i couldn’t stay away any longer. i thought i'd surprise you. you looked like you needed one."

you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as you stood there, feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

"let’s go on a date," he said suddenly, his voice light and playful, but there was something in his eyes that made you think he was serious.

before you could say anything, he reached for your bag, effortlessly lifting it and tossing it into the backseat of the ferrari. then, with a small nod, he opened the car door for you, waiting for you to get in.

"like, right now?" you asked, surprised and a little breathless. you hadn’t even thought about anything beyond his unexpected appearance.

he gave a casual shrug, his usual cool demeanor in place. “yes. unless that’s a problem for you,” he teased, as he glanced down at you.

you blinked, your surprise melting into a soft laugh. a date with him? now? how could you say no to that? you shook your head, unable to stop the smile spreading across your face. "no, no problem at all. let’s go."

as megumi slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine, he glanced over at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. he leaned over and gently tugged the seatbelt across your lap, his fingers brushing against your skin as he did. It was a simple touch, but one that made your heart flutter all the same.

"where’d you wanna go?" he asked, his voice low and steady.

you couldn’t help the cute little smile that spread across your face as you looked at him. “umm, anywhere... with you," you said sweetly, your voice carrying the honesty of how you truly felt.

megumi’s eyes softened, and for a split second, you saw that rare vulnerability in him. your smile—that smile—always did this to him. it was like it had the power to completely melt him, to make him forget everything except the fact that he was with you. his lips curved into a smile that was a little more than just a playful expression—it was genuine, and it was full of affection.

for a moment, the car was quiet, the only sound the hum of the engine and the rush of wind outside. then, megumi’s voice broke the silence, low and almost... hesitant.

"you know," he said, his gaze still focused on the road ahead, though his hands tightened slightly on the wheel. "i’ve missed you so much. these last few days without you... i couldn’t even sleep."

his words caught you off guard, and your heart softened in your chest. you knew how demanding his schedule was, how much he had to sacrifice for his career, but hearing him admit how much he’d missed you, how much he struggled without you—it meant more than you could put into words.

you reached over, placing your hand gently on his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "i missed you too, gumi," you said softly. he turned his head toward you for a brief moment, his eyes meeting yours, and you could see it—the way his entire expression softened just for you, like he was holding onto this moment with everything he had. for him, you were the purest thing in his world, the one constant in the whirlwind of his life.

you decided to go to an icecream parlor. "what flavor did you get?" you asked megumi while taking a spoonful of your icecream and savouring it.

he glanced at his cup and replied, "mint choco. what about you, baby?"

"i got strawberry!" you exclaimed bouncing a little with excitement. megumi chuckled softly, the kind of smile only you could bring out of him. "idiot," he murmured.

"want a taste?" his voice was low, teasing, as he dipped the spoon into the ice cream, the creamy swirl catching the light. he brought it to his lips, tasting it slowly before pulling you toward him. his mouth met yours in a kiss, the sweet chill of the dessert mixing with the warmth of his touch.

you gasped as his lips curved into a smile against yours, the sweetness of the ice cream still lingering between you. the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down your spine as he deepened the kiss, the world outside of this moment fading into nothing. his hand slowly trailed down your thigh, sending a shiver of anticipation through you. you gasped as you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, his kiss deep and possessive. you were lost in the moment, responding to him with equal passion and surrendering completely to his touch.

megumi's phone rang, piercing the air and bringing your intimate moment to an abrupt halt. "fuck," he muttered a curse under his breath, clearly annoyed at the interruption. you spoke up, reminding him that it could be urgent. "mmh- gumi, it could be important." but he brushed it off, his attention still fixed on you.

"nothing's more important than you, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. but the persistent ringing eventually got the better of him, and he reluctantly picked up the phone, his gaze still fixed on you.

it was gojo, his manager, on the other end of the line. megumi picked up the call, his expression frustrated. "yeah- uh huh. tomorrow? ok, fine," he grumbled, rolling his eyes as he hung up.

you looked at him, concern etched on your face. "what happened, gumi?" you asked, your eyes fixed on him.

megumi's hand still lingered on your cheek, his touch gentle and soothing. "got a race tomorrow, baby," he replied, his exhaustion apparent.

"what? you're just back, and they're making you race again?" you asked.

megumi sighed, his weariness apparent in the weary slope of his shoulders. "i know, but it's important for the season," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation.

you looked at him, your eyes filled with worry. "but you're not even rested properly," you said, your voice laced with concern.

megumi shrugged, his gaze fixing on you. "i'll be fine," he said, a reassuring smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

you knew he wasn't fine. after all, how could he be? all he was doing for the past two weeks was races, interviews, press conferences, sponsors and what not! he was very successful, yes, but this only came in the way of your relationship. it had happened before, ofcourse. but this time seemed a little too much.

you leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, your pretty plump lips lightly brushing his skin. megumi couldn't help but smile. he adored these little moments with you, when you showed your tenderness and reminded him of how much he cared for you.

every little thing you did had an effect on him. your mere presence was enough to make him smile, and seeing you in this caring and loving state made his heart race in his chest. he wanted to spend all his time with only you. you were the only one he thought about during his restless days and nights. you were the only drivin force that encouraged him to keep going and trying.

megumi was notorious for being aloof and rude to the people who surrounded him, because he was often misunderstood. his good looks had earned him hordes of fangirls, but none of them truly knew who he was. you, however, were different. you were the only girl who saw through his so-called tough exterior and loved him for who he was, flaws and all. and because of that, he loved you more than anything.

the next day arrived—the day of his race. you couldn't shake the anticipation, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you made your way to the track. you slipped into the locker room, your heartbeat quickening. the air was thick with the scent of sweat and anticipation, but none of that mattered when you saw him step out.

megumi appeared like a vision in the doorway, dressed in his red and black racing suit. the colors clung to his athletic frame, accentuating every sharp line and smooth curve. in his hand, he held his helmet, the sleek visor reflecting the harsh overhead lights. for a moment, everything around you seemed to blur. the world narrowed down to just him—magnificent, confident, untouchable.

your breath caught in your throat. Is it even legal to look this good? you thought, unable to tear your eyes away. it was almost criminal, the way his presence filled the room, his aura commanding attention without uttering a single word.

he looked at you, his lips curling into a grin as he took in the sight of you standing there, frozen in admiration. "y/n, you're here," he said, his voice warm with a hint of surprise, though it was clear he wasn’t exactly shocked to see his girlfriend.

you blinked, momentarily speechless, before you blurted out without thinking, “yes, and omg, I think I’m falling for you again, gumi.” the words hung in the air, a little too loud, a little too honest.

the chuckle that followed made your stomach do a little flip. “falling for me again, huh?” he teased, his eyes dancing with amusement.

before you could even form a response, his hands were on your waist, pulling you effortlessly closer. his touch was warm, strong, and it sent a jolt straight through you, making you freeze in place. his gaze dropped to your lips for just a moment, then back to your eyes.

"you like what you see, baby?" he asked, his voice dropping to a low, seductive whisper.

your cheeks heated up in response, his closeness sending shivers down your spine. "you can't say things like that while holding me like this!" you protested, trying to hide the effect he had on you.

"oh, you like this?" he asked. and damn, did that make you feel things.

you blushed, a slight pink creeping up your cheeks.

why were you so adorable? he thought.

just then, his manager gojo burst into the room, interrupting your intimate moment. he immediately took notice of your close embrace. he smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"ahh, lovebirds!" he teased.

megumi rolled his eyes at gojo's comment and grumbled, "shut up and get out."

gojo chuckled, still not leaving. "just reminding you, get your ass ready in five," he said, winking at you before he finally closed the door, leaving you alone with Megumi once again.

you knelt down in front of him, your hands steady as you carefully tied his shoe laces.

but then, as you tightened the knot on his laces, your gaze drifted upward, and that's when you noticed it: a cast wrapped around his left leg. it was subtle, barely noticeable beneath the fabric of his pants, but it was there. your heart skipped a beat.

“gumi, what is this?” you asked, your voice laced with concern, your eyes tracing the cast as if it might somehow explain itself. he froze for a split second, his expression flickering with something unreadable before he quickly regained his usual easygoing demeanor. his smile was a little too smooth, too reassuring, but you weren't fooled.

“it’s nothing, baby, really. nothing to worry about,” he said, the words coming out too quickly, like he was trying to brush it off before you could press further. you raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "are you sure? you never told me you got hurt, did you—"

before you could finish, he cut you off, his voice a little sharper than usual. "yes, i’m fine. i just couldn’t tell you because I was really busy, alright? i’ll tell you if i get hurt again, i promise."

but you weren’t ready to let it go. you frowned, looking up at him with concern in your eyes. “what happened?”

he hesitated for a brief moment, and in that pause, you saw a flicker of something—regret? guilt?—before he sighed and looked away. “i—i just slipped on the stairs,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as if the explanation was something he’d rather not say out loud.

you couldn’t help but feel a pang in your chest. stairs? that didn’t sound right, not for someone like him, someone who was always so careful, so composed. it wasn’t like him to let something like that slide. but he was already reaching for his helmet, the cool, silver surface catching the light as he lifted it into his hand, clearly signaling the conversation was over.

“i need to go, baby,” he said softly, his voice carrying a gentle urgency. his hand cupped your cheek for a brief moment, his thumb brushing over your skin in that tender, familiar way. then, without another word, he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

you found yourself in the exclusive bio section of the stands, surrounded by the hum of excitement and the palpable energy of the crowd. from here, the entire stadium stretched out before you—massive, overwhelming, and alive with anticipation. the sound of the crowd was deafening, a constant roar that sent shivers down your spine. you hadn’t realized just how big this event was until now. it wasn’t just a race; it was a spectacle, a culmination of everything megumi had been working for.

for the past two weeks, he had been pushing himself relentlessly, practicing, fine-tuning every part of his routine. you could hear it in his voice when he’d call you—tired, drained, but always determined. the pressure of coming first, of being the best was heavy, but he never showed it. not to you. not until now.

the tension in the air thickened as the stadium lights dimmed slightly, and the commentators' voices boomed over the loudspeakers, amplified by the vastness of the arena. you heard a familiar name ring out—megumi fushiguro—and just like that, the crowd erupted into deafening cheers, a wave of sound crashing over you.

“megumi fushiguro!” the commentator's voice was loud, clear, and electric, his excitement rising to match the crowd’s. "one of the most consistent drivers this season, and he's definitely a favorite to win today!"

you could hear the way the announcer dragged the name out with that signature flair, the way they pronounced it with such reverence and energy that it felt like the entire world was watching. megumi fushiguro. it sounded different when they said it—more like a title, a legacy in the making.

your heart skipped a beat as the crowd’s roar hit its peak, a mix of excitement, adrenaline, and the collective hope of everyone in this stadium. this wasn’t just a race—it was the race, the one he’d been working toward for so long.

you glanced down at the pit, catching a glimpse of him—dressed in his red and black suit, his face a mask of focus, as he climbed into his car. the helmet gleamed under the lights, but you could still see the determination in his posture, the way he moved with precision, as if every motion had been practiced to perfection. the weight of all those expectations, of everything riding on this one moment, seemed to settle on his shoulders, but he carried it with ease.

as the final seconds of the countdown ticked away, megumi’s gaze swept over the vip section, his eyes scanning the crowd. for a moment, everything seemed to slow down, as if the world held its breath. then, his eyes landed on you.

a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, barely visible under his helmet. but then, to your surprise, he did something you never thought he’d do—he lifted his hands in front of his chest and made a heart. right there, in front of thousands of people, in the heat of the moment, megumi fushiguro—the calm, composed, always-in-control driver—was making a heart with his hands just for you.

your heart fluttered in your chest, a mix of warmth and disbelief rushing through you. you knew him too well. megumi, the guy who would never be caught doing something so cheesy or public. but for you? he’d make that heart. he’d do whatever it took to let you know, even without saying the words, that you were on his mind.

a soft laugh bubbled in your throat, and you couldn’t help but smile back, your fingers instinctively touching your lips as if to seal the moment. it was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes. you knew—deep down—that no matter how tough or reserved he appeared, when it came to you, he’d break his own rules.

the crowd around you was still buzzing, oblivious to the quiet exchange between the two of you. but it didn’t matter. in that instant, you felt like you were the only one in the stadium, connected to him in a way no one else could understand.

as he turned back to focus on the race ahead, his posture straightened, his usual intensity returning. but a small piece of his heart was still with you, tucked away behind that mask of determination. you knew it, and somehow, he knew you knew it.

three, two, one, go! the gunshot echoed across the track, and the racers shot forward like arrows released from a bow. the roar of engines filled the air, harmonizing with the cheers of the crowd. among the vibrant sea of cars, megumi surged ahead at the front, steering his sleek red bull rb19 with precision and skill. the sun glinted off the polished metal, casting dazzling reflections as he navigated the first straightaway with remarkable speed.

the commentators voice boomed through the speakers, “we see the great megumi fushiguro from japan leading the rbr team as he pulls the car into a great curve!” the tires squealed against the asphalt, gripping the track as megumi expertly controlled the drift, leaning into the turn with the confidence of a seasoned pro.

you watched from the sidelines, your heart racing in sync with the roar of the engines. you bit your lip, nerves gnawing at you. this win meant everything—if megumi clinched the victory today, he would break into the top three drivers in the world, a dream he had chased relentlessly. the stakes were high, and the pressure was palpable.

as he exited the curve, megumi glanced in his rearview mirror, assessing the competition closing in behind him. the other drivers were fierce, but the felt the weight of every heartbeat, the way you supported him and you cheering him on propelled him forward. he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. the championship was within reach, and he was determined to seize it.

as the final lap approached, adrenaline surged through your veins. you clenched your fists, your thoughts racing alongside him. you believed in him, and he needed to believe in himself. megumi had worked too hard to let anything distract him now. the finish line loomed ahead, and with one last push, he entered the final turn, the tires screeching as he navigated it flawlessly.

the finish line was in sight. you held your breath, watching as megumi accelerated out of the curve, his car darting forward like a bolt of lightning. this was it. the moment of truth. would he achieve his dream? would he secure a place among the world’s elite?

with the roar of the crowd reaching a fever pitch, megumi crossed the finish line, the checkered flag waving triumphantly in the air. he did it! the world watched as he celebrated his hard-fought victory, a smile breaking through the intensity of the race, knowing that he had not just raced to the finish, but had also secured his place in history.

you jumped up and squealed in excitement. he wasn't an ordinary racer. he was the season's best. perhaps even one of the top racers of the decade. you could feel it now. the amount of both love and hate he'd be recieving after this. the tight packed schedules waiting for him. fuck. you were supposed to feel good and proud about this. you were, but how could you celebrate properly if you knew that him winning this meant no time for the both of you. sometimes his lifestyle was a bit too much for you. am i demanding too much of attention and love from him? you wondered.

the commentator’s voice boomed through the loudspeakers, “megumi fushiguro takes the win!” you ran towards the racecourse, your heart pounding. the moment you reached him, megumi yanked off his helmet, and in one swift motion, pulled you into his arms.

before you could even catch your breath, he lifted you off the ground in a tight embrace.

"i'm so proud of you, gumi," you whispered into his ear. "you won this."

a soft chuckle vibrated in his chest as he set you back on your feet, but his eyes never left yours, warm and sincere. “no," he said, his voice steady despite the exhaustion evident in his body. "i didn’t win this. we won this together. i could’ve never done this without you."

your heart skipped a beat at his words. you gently pressed a kiss against his cheek. his cheeks flushed slightly as he looked away. "stop being so damn adorable," he murmured as you chuckled at his flustered state.

just then he was called for the conference. "i"ll be back, alright?" he said as you nodded.

the camera zoomed in as the interviewer grinned, holding the mic out toward megumi, who had just finished a whirlwind victory lap.

“so, how was the race?” the interviewer asked, his voice sharp with curiosity.

megumi let out a slow, tired sigh, his fingers still curled around the edge of his helmet. “pretty electric,” he replied. “it was fun, honestly. the other racers did amazing as well. everyone pushed themselves to the limit.”

the interviewer nodded, clearly impressed by megumi’s calm demeanor, before pressing on with another question. “yeah, what about you?” he leaned in slightly, his voice taking on a more personal tone. “even after your accident a week ago, you drove like nothing happened. how’s your left leg now? it was a big hit, wasn’t it?”

what accident? you thought.

he shrugged, his voice low but steady. “it was a big hit. i won’t lie, there were moments last week where i didn’t know if i'd even be able to race today. but… well,” he shifted on his feet, cracking a small smile, “it’s nothing a little determination and a lot of rest couldn’t fix. and honestly, once I got behind the wheel, i didn’t think about it at all.”

the interviewer raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. “so you’re saying you didn’t feel any pain out there?”

megumi’s lips quirked, just barely. “pain’s just another obstacle. if i let it control me, i wouldn’t be racing at all. so i focused on the road, the cars, and—”

he went on.

your mind went blank. how could he lie about being injured? why did he lie to you? why did he say that he tripped down the stairs when he clearly suffered a major injury from an accident? why did he not inform you about this?

the interviewer gave a final cheerful wave, his voice ringing out as he called, “okay then, we’ll catch you later, superstar!” megumi returned the gesture with a small, easy smile before turning to walk back toward you.

but the moment he approached, he froze. his eyes widened when he saw the tears silently streaming down your face. his breath hitched, a flicker of panic crossing his features.

“baby-” he started, but he was cut off as you turned sharply, not letting him finish. he quickly stepped forward, concern flooding his expression. “wait, what happened—?”

you yanked your hand away from his as his fingers brushed against your arm. the gesture was sharp, defensive, and his confusion deepened. “how could you?” your voice trembled.

megumi blinked, clearly struggling to process. “what—?” he started again, his voice quiet, trying to reach you.

“how could you lie to me about your injury?” you stared at him, your tears betraying the pain you felt. “you promised me, gumi… you promised you’d be honest.”

“you could’ve told me about this big injury,” you whispered, the tears threatening to spill over. “i would've come. i would've—"

"i didn’t want you to worry about me, that’s why,” he interrupted, his voice strained and exhausted. he could see the hurt in your eyes, but the words just kept spilling out, the frustration he’d been holding in finally breaking free.

“but still—” your voice quivered with emotion, desperate to make him understand. “i care about you a lot. i’m your girlfriend. you could’ve told me. you were tired and—”

you were cut off when his voice, sharp and raw, filled the space between you. “don’t you see it? you’re always too worried about me. you always blabber about me this, me that. i’ll take care of myself alone for some time, alright? just stop nagging me all the time!”

the words hit you like a physical blow. your breath caught in your throat, and before you knew it, hot tears were streaming down your precious little face—uncontrolled, like a waterfall. how could he say that? how could he hurt you like that?

for a moment, megumi stood frozen, the weight of his own words slowly sinking in. he watched as your tears fell, his own chest tightening, realizing too late the damage he’d just done.

his voice cracked with regret. “i’m really sorry, baby… i don’t know why i said all that—”

but you shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping you as you wiped your eyes. “forget it,” you said, the coldness in your voice so unlike anything he’d ever heard from you. the distance between you both felt so vast now, more than just physical.

without another word, you turned and began walking away, your steps slow but resolute. every part of you wanted to look back, to see if he was following, but you didn’t. the lump in your throat was too big, and you couldn’t trust yourself not to break down entirely if you turned around.

megumi stood there, his mind racing, but his feet glued to the ground. he wanted to reach for you, to say something, anything that would make it better. but he knew, deep down, that it was too late for words now. not after what he’d said.

you did not talk to him for the next few days. as much as your heart ached and wanted to hear his voice, you just had to keep ignoring him. he felt MISERABLE. he could not bear the pain anymore. the pain that he had inflicted on you. he had seen your precious little self crying because of him. he had hurt you. he hated himself for that. though he did call and text you, you'd always reply dryly. no "gumi", or "baby". you just replied with a simple "hello" and "bye megumi". this was driving him insane.

you were in your bedroom listening to your favourite song while reading a book. oh, did you want to cuddle into his chest right now. you wanted him bad. but ofcourse, you were stubborn as hell.

you had a date that evening. not with megumi, ofcourse. your senior kashimo, had invited you to a carnival fest. you didn't turn him down. he was a good friend of yours.

you were getting ready for your date when you heard a knock on your door. you sighed, already knowing who it was. it was megumi. he stood there, holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, a note in the other, and your favorite chocolates tucked under his arm.

“what?” you asked, trying to hide your irritation.

“baby, please, let me come in,” he said, his voice softening as you nodded and stepped aside to let him in. you didn’t care that you were wearing the mini skirt and crop top he had gifted you, the very outfit you had chosen for your date with someone else.

“are you going somewhere pretty?” he asked, eyeing you with a mix of curiosity and concern.

“yeah, on a date,” you replied, a casualness to your tone that belied the tension simmering beneath the surface.

His eyes widened in disbelief. “on a date?”

“it’s just a friendly date with my senior, kashimo,” you said, trying to brush off the weight of his reaction.

he scoffed, disbelief evident in his voice. “the same guy who proposed to you last year?”

you nodded, refusing to back down. “yes, but he’s just a friend. he knows I have a boyfriend.”

megumi clenched his fists at his sides, anger flashing in his eyes. “fine, but make sure he doesn’t cross the line.”

“whatever,” you replied, the nonchalance in your voice betraying the chaos of emotions in your heart.

“whatever?” he couldn’t let that slide. “you think it’s just that easy? you’re wearing my clothes, going out with a guy who clearly wants more. this isn’t just a friendly date!”

you sighed, feeling the fight slowly drain out of you. “you’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

“i’m making it harder?” he took a step closer, his frustration giving way to vulnerability. “i thought you understood how much you mean to me. i thought you knew i cared.”

"tsk..." he mumbled. "just promise me you'll take care alright?" he said. you wanted to give in to him then and there. but you couldn't.

“sure, but it’s really not a big deal. i’ll be fine.” you said.

"just let me worry a little," he said smiling faintly. "i'll always worry about you."

he cared for you a lot. though you didn't say anything about what had happened between you guys the last time, he knew that you were pretty mad. he cared for you enough to give you your space, though it was very hard for him to do so.

the ferris wheel ride was surprisingly fun, and kashimo was a pretty chill guy to be stuck in a cage with. "you’re looking really pretty today, y/n," he said, eyes twinkling in the low light.

there it was. you were certain that he did not have feelings for you anymore. but him saying all this made you rethink things. maybe megumi was right and this not being just a "friendly date" for kashimo.

you blinked, caught off guard for a second. "thanks," you smiled back.

you hated that you couldn't stop thinking about megumi. why did you have to be so stubborn at the first place anyways? he was giving you an apology but you wouldn't take it. it was because you were deeply hurt. not because he didn't care for you, but because he had being a fucking jerk. an idiot who said things to his girlfriend without any regard. though he did not mean any of it, he shouldn't have let his frustration get the best of him. you were concerned for him and he yelled at you for that. you were pretty hurt.

little did you know that megumi was stalking you both. like a fucking creep. yes, he was embarrassed, but he couldn't let you out of his sight, not when you were hanging out with a guy who had feelings for you.

megumi was spying on you and kashimo as you sat there, waiting for your ice cream.

kashimo was standing a little too close—close enough that his hand brushed against your shoulder as he shifted to adjust his position. the touch was quick, almost accidental, but the heat from it lingered on your skin. you seemed quite oblivious to what just happened.

“about your boyfriend, y/n, i—” kashimo began, still really close to you.

you frowned, glancing up at him, confused. “what about him?” you asked, trying to keep your tone neutral, but something about the way he said it made your stomach churn.

kashimo smirked, leaning in even further as he spoke, his voice low but laced with something... almost smug. “he did amazing at the race last week.”

you nodded, a little stiff, not sure where this was going. “yeah,” you said, keeping your response short, hoping he’d drop it. but he wasn’t done.

“so... I was wondering, y/n,” he began again, his voice suddenly more hesitant, like he was testing the waters. “if you ever feel lonely… or, i don’t know, if your boyfriend is busy, you could always call me. i’m your trusty senior, after all.”

you blinked, momentarily speechless. what was he getting at? your gut twisted, but you kept your face neutral, hoping it was just some misguided attempt at humor. “um, okay? but why?”

kashimo’s smirk widened, and his next words made your heart race, but not in that way. “because… i might still have feelings for you.”

you froze.

for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. the audacity. the sheer nerve of this guy. you swallowed hard, shaking your head as if trying to shake the whole situation off. "excuse me? is that why you called me out here? to tell me that?" the words left your mouth before you could stop them, anger creeping into your voice.

kashimo’s smile didn’t falter, but there was something almost predatory in his gaze now. he took a small step closer, like he was trying to trap you in this conversation. “no, y/n. i’m here to let you know that i’m here for you. you know, with megumi being so famous now, who knows what he’s up to, if you get what i’m saying.”

the insinuation made your blood boil. you crossed your arms tightly, a scoff escaping your lips. “no, i don’t get it,” you said, your voice cold now, the tightness in your chest growing with each word. “and i thought i already made it clear to you that i don’t have feelings for you. i have a boyfriend.”

you took a deep breath, glaring up at him, not backing down an inch. “and don’t you dare talk shit about him.”

something dark flashed in kashimo’s eyes. his smile faltered, just for a second, before it turned into something far more dangerous. he clenched his fists at his sides, his jaw tightening, and for a moment, you thought he might snap.

“you have that much nerve to reject me twice? who do you think you are?” his voice was low, seething now, and before you could even react, his hand shot out and grabbed your arm, yanking you toward him with surprising force.

you gasped, your heart slamming into your chest as you tried to pull away. but kashimo’s grip only tightened. his breath was hot against your ear, and the tension in the air made everything feel suffocating.

“let go of me!” you shouted, struggling to break free. but the more you fought, the stronger his grip became, and your mind raced with panic.

megumi watched in absolute fury as kashimo yanked you toward him, his grip too tight. you were totally helpless.

without thinking, he rushed forward as his feet pounded the pavement. in one swift motion, megumi’s fist collided with kashimo’s face with a sickening crack. the force of the punch sent the man stumbling back, his body jerking violently from the impact. kashimo barely had time to react, his head snapping to the side as he grunted in surprise.

megumi stood there, chest heaving with raw anger, his eyes burning with a fiery rage. “how dare you touch my girlfriend, you fucking lowlife?” he seethed through clenched teeth, his voice low but seething with a dangerous intensity. “oh, megumi fushiguro,” kashimo scoffed, still holding his bruised jaw. “i wasn’t doing anything—just having a little chat with y/n.”

megumi’s glare deepened, his fists still clenched at his sides. his anger wasn’t just for kashimo’s audacity—it was for the way you’d looked moments before. helpless. vulnerable. he’d failed you before, but this time, he wasn’t going to let anything slide. “i don’t care what you were doing,” megumi snarled. “you touch her again, and i’ll make sure you regret it.”

you stood there, shaken, still processing everything that had just happened. megumi’s expression softened just slightly, but his gaze was still intense. without a word, he walked toward you, his movements deliberate, and before you could say anything, he bent down and scooped you up into his arms, lifting you off your feet in one smooth motion.

you gasped, wide-eyed in surprise. “gumi! what are you doing?”

he didn’t answer immediately, his grip on you firm and protective as he cradled you against his chest. he moved without hesitation, heading straight for his car. you could feel the warmth of his body enveloping you, his jacket brushing against your skin as he carried you effortlessly.

“gumi, seriously,” you began, your voice a little shaky. “put me down.”

he didn’t respond, his eyes never leaving the path ahead as he reached his car. he opened the passenger door with one hand and carefully placed you inside. as soon as you were settled, he pulled his jacket off and draped it over your shoulders, the thick fabric enveloping you in warmth. the scent of him—cedarwood, faintly of rain—clung to the fabric, and for a moment, everything felt surreal.

"i— i’m really sorry, baby," megumi’s voice cracked slightly, making you freeze in your spot, every word pulling at your chest. "for everything i said that day. i never meant any of it. i was just… tired and frustrated, and i—i said all that shit. i'm really, really sorry." his eyes finally met yours, and you saw the guilt in them, raw and unguarded. it made your stomach twist. "you have every right to be worried about me. please forgive me, y/n. i’m an idiot… but an idiot who loves you."

his words fell into the space between you two, and for a long moment, everything was still. your heart was pounding in your chest, and yet, your mind felt foggy.

and that feeling, the ache in your chest, it was all too much.

tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. you bit your lip, trying to hold them back, but it was impossible. the way his voice had cracked, the raw vulnerability in his confession, the way he was standing there, waiting for you to forgive him, it shattered everything. every wall you had built up around your heart, every ounce of doubt you’d been holding onto, crumbled in an instant.

you tried to find the right words, but everything seemed to blur together in the rush of emotion. "i-i’m scared, gumi," you whispered, voice breaking. you could feel the tears finally falling, hot against your cheeks. "hicc- i’m scared that one day you won’t love me anymore. that... that all this won’t matter. and i’ll be left alone, with nothing but the pieces of something broken."

his expression softened immediately, and before you could stop it, a sob ripped through your chest. you hated how weak you sounded, but the hurt, the fear, everything that had built up inside you over the past few days, it came crashing down all at once.

megumi’s face morphed into one of pure desperation, and within seconds, he was right there in front of you, cupping your face in his hands, his touch warm and tender, like he was trying to anchor you to him.

“no,” he whispered fiercely, his thumbs brushing away your tears, which were way too precious for him, his voice cracking as he said the words. “no, you’re not alone. you’re not alone, y/n. you never will be. i love you. i love you, so much. i— i’ve been so fucking stupid, but i’m not going anywhere. i swear. i’m so sorry, baby.”

you felt the warmth of his hands, the sincerity in his voice, and it was as if the weight in your chest had suddenly lightened. you didn’t know what to say, but somehow, you didn’t need to. you leaned into his touch, your body trembling as you buried your face against his chest, clutching the front of his shirt like your life depended on it.

megumi’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close as if he never wanted to let you go. "i'm so sorry, y/n," he murmured again, his voice thick with emotion. "i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. please... please forgive me."

the tears didn’t stop. they kept coming, but they felt different now. not out of anger or frustration, but because you knew deep down that megumi’s words were real. his love for you was real. and even when he didn’t know how to handle everything, even when he was struggling with his own demons, you knew he would always come back to you. always.

you pulled back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze, and through the haze of tears, you whispered, “i forgive you, gumi. but you have to promise me something... promise me you’ll talk to me. that we’ll face things together.”

megumi’s eyes softened, his lips trembling slightly as he nodded. “i promise,” he said, voice rough, but sincere. “i’ll do whatever it takes. i swear on everything. i love you, y/n. i won’t screw this up again. i'd die for you, baby. you're my fucking everything.”

you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of your lips, even as your heart still raced in your chest. he had a way of saying things that made you believe in him, even when the world around you felt like it was falling apart.

“i love you too, megumi,” you whispered, the words heavy with meaning.

the air inside the ferrari crackled with tension, and megumi could barely hold himself back any longer. his eyes flickered toward you for a brief moment, before he slammed the door shut and rushed around to the driver’s side. the engine roared to life as his fingers gripped the steering wheel with a mix of frustration and desire.

he didn’t even wait for you to say anything. his foot pressed down on the gas, and the car shot forward with a deafening growl. you squealed, the sudden acceleration pressing you back into your seat as the world outside blurred into streaks of light.

“you’re driving me crazy, princess,” megumi muttered under his breath, but you heard it clearly over the engine’s roar. you turned to look at him, your heart racing, but before you could even react, he flashed you a wicked grin and revved the engine again, sending the car hurtling down the street.

the sound of the engine was a constant growl beneath you, as megumi expertly weaved through the empty lanes, his focus entirely on the road, but you could feel the intensity coming off of him in waves. the speed was exhilarating, the wind in your hair, the thrill of the ride a stark contrast to the weight of the silence between you.

but it didn’t last long. megumi’s gaze flicked over to you again, and this time, there was something more in it. something raw. something dark.

“you like this, don’t you?” he said, voice low. you laughed nervously, your fingers gripping the seat as you felt the car tear through the night, the engine screaming as megumi pushed it faster. yes, he had to be a fucking f1 racer.

“gumi! slow down!” you cried out, though there was a trace of excitement in your voice that didn’t quite match the panic. “you’re insane!”

he glanced over at you again, his lips quirking up at the corners as his eyes glinted with something dangerous. “you have no idea how much you’re driving me crazy, y/n,” he said, his voice smooth but dripping with intensity.

the car sped through the streets, the city lights flickering past in a blur, but it was megumi's presence that was consuming every thought in your mind. every part of you was suddenly hyperaware of him—the way his jaw was clenched, the way his hands gripped the wheel as if he was holding onto the last thread of control. god, he looked soo fucking hot right now. his breath was shallow, his eyes flickering to you every few seconds, each glance more intense than the last.

"where are we going?" you asked breathlessly, feeling both thrill and unease stirring inside you.

he seemed pretty unbothered, his voice casual. "my place," he said, voice low, and the way he said it made something tighten in your chest.

finally, he pulled into the driveway of his house, the engine purring softly as he slammed the car into park, the sudden stop making your heart thud in your chest. before you could even catch your breath, megumi was already out of the car, moving so fast you barely had time to process what was happening. he opened your door and lifted you out in one fluid motion, his hands gripping your waist with an urgency that made your pulse spike.

you gasped, half in shock and half in excitement, as megumi’s lips curled into a smile. “told you you’d be crazy for me,” he murmured, his voice husky and low. you swore you were already wet from just that.

before you could even register what was happening, megumi had opened the door and had pinned you to the wall. his lips found your neck, and as he pressed sloppy kisses down the sensitive skin, you couldn’t help but moan, the sound echoing in the living room. “gumi!” you gasped, your heart pounding as he found that sweet spot beneath your ear, his kisses igniting a fire within you.

with a swift, unexpected motion, megumi lifted you effortlessly into the air, your body feeling weightless in his arms. his hands traveled down to your thighs, sending sparks of electricity coursing through you as he positioned you on the couch with a gentle yet assertive push. the plush cushions welcomed you, but before you could fully register the moment, a gasp escaped your lips.

he knelt down before you, he tugged on the hem of your mini skirt, pulling it down slowly. megumi smirked as he hooked his fingers in your lacy panties. with a swift tug, he ripped them away, baring your glistening folds to his hungry gaze.

"already wet for me, princess?" he asked and you moaned louder as he slipped his fingers into your already wet pussy.

"the voices you're making right now baby, are unholy, and they're doing things to me," he whispered as his fingers continued to work the magic.

"nngh-" you squealed as he pinched your hard nipples through the fabric of your crop top. "use your words, baby," megumi said, while he kissed the inside of your thighs, so dangerously close to your core.

"fuck! a-all for you, gumi," you moaned out desperately.

"good girl," he chuckled as he spread apart your thighs and squeezed them, pressing your knees closer to you.

this was the first time you were doing something so freaky with megumi. you had been intimate before, but he never crossed the line. today, there was this fire burning in him that he couldn't control himself quite like before.

"has anyone seen you bare before?" he practically growled as you shook your head.

"n-no i think this is my first time-" you said as he pinched your sore nipples again.

"you sure baby? no one else? i'm the first?" he asked as he bit your inner thigh as you yelped.

"y-yeah, i swear."

"that's my girl," he said as you could feel the slick arousal dripping again.

his mouth and tongue began to work and in seconds, you were a moaning mess under him.

megumi's tongue slithered between your folds, and your hole squelched out your sweet arousal, puddling down on his couch.

you grabbed at his disheveled hair and relaxed yourself against his mouth again, feeling his groan vibrate against your clit.

he grabbed your thighs harder as he violated your folds with his tongue, his pace faster. "i-i gumi, i c-can't," you cried.

"be my princess and stop complaining will ya?" he growled and slobbered over your folds like a hungry beast. you threw your head back at the sensation of his tongue flattening down your slit to suck at your hole. "fuck, you taste so good, baby," he licked his lips.

you choked as you moaned pathetically, tears escaping your eyes as you tried to squeeze them shut. this was music to his ears, your cute moans making his cock throb and harden as he sucked you filthily.

you shuddered as he swallowed your sweet release and licked his lips. megumi smiled and pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. his demeanor very different from what you had seen just now.

"you okay, baby?" he asked as you nodded and he patted your head. "good."

he pulled your skirt up and readjusted your top and put a blanket over your shoulders. "you can clean up baby," he said in such a calm tone that you were doubting if this was the same man who was eating you out a minute ago.

your cheeks were bright red as he chuckled at your flustered state. "go, i'll be waiting for you here," he said as he playfully flicked your forehead with his index finger.

this was your man. the love of your life. you knew it and he knew it too. no matter the fame and recognition he got as he climbed further up the charts aa the best racer, he'd love you unconditionally. he was yours and you were his. it didn’t matter how many people shouted his name from the stands, didn’t matter how many accolades he earned. as long as you were with him, everything else could fade into the background. forever. that was all you ever needed. forever. with him. always.

[monzamash]

smile you're on camera — lando norris

when miami hits different... lando norris x you (femreader) | 1.8k rating – 18+ (sex, coarse language) masterlist

“That all looked sufficiently cringe.”

Lando’s gruff laugh echoes as he slid the balcony door open for you. You had been watching him for the past half hour filming promotional content for the Miami GP, each one cheesier than the last and you couldn’t help but admire his work ethic – even if it meant watching him make a complete fool of himself in the blistering heat.

A grumbled “you’ve got no idea” paired with a deep sigh in reply was all you were going to get and a sweet kiss pressed to the back of your head.

He helped you collect the book you’d abandoned in lieu of watching him glow in the golden hour and retreat inside from the humidity, still suffocating as the sun set off in the distance. The sweet relief of the air con as you stepped inside provided a little bit of respite while Lando shuffled around the room, closing windows and doors, trapping what cool air you did have inside your hotel room.

“I have something to show you…”

Lando sheepishly declares as you splay out on the hotel bed, grumbling through a jaw splitting yawn, “What is it?” “I stole it.” That got your attention, shooting up from where you were laying down, “But I’ll take it back tomorrow… after we’ve used it.”

Sitting in his hot little hands was a camcorder that had seen better days, scratches on its lens and all. Lando watched your shocked expression fall to one of annoyance as you sat back on your hands, eyebrow quirked and scowl present on your pretty face.

“Absolutely not.”

“Aw come on,” He drawls, holding the camera up to his eye – the other squinted behind the viewfinder, “I swapped in one of my SD cards and I know you’re into this kinky shit. Admit it…”

Lando kept the camera up, the little red light that was on all of those old school recorders flashed in the dark. Your eyes were rolling when his grabby reached out for your hip, “You’re out of your mind.”

“That’s the effect you have on me, baby.”

A soft hum slips from your lips feeling the pads of his fingers tracing down the outside of your thigh, too easily convinced by the man who consumed your every thought; every desire. You missed him when he was gone, the days spent with him slimmer as the season lulled on. So, maybe having something to reference on those cold, lonely nights was excuse enough to indulge the idea. And he was right – you are into this shit.

“Just make sure you can’t see too much,” You whisper into the air, giving the green light.

Lando’s little noise tells you everything. He's excited about this; you can tell by the way he nips and presses a couple of sloppy kisses to your cheek before scurrying off to set up the camera. He was a giggly mess thinking about how fucking lucky he was to be with someone who was up for anything. Equal parts classy and devious – just the way he likes it.

“Hop up on the bed so I can frame you,” He sweetly instructs, eyes trained on the small screen lighting his dark features, ocean eyes a moody blue.

You do as you’re told and crawl up onto the comically large bed, propped up on one elbow with hair a mess. Lando smiles when he shifts focus onto you – the sheer white dress you were wearing flaunting everything he loved about your body. All curves and supple skin, pebbled nipples peaking through – the silverware you had secretly added to them as a surprise for him peaking through under the fabric.

“You are so fucking pretty,” He almost whimpers; a warm flush washing over your sticky skin. It was hot in the room you were in and the way Lando was eyeing you from behind the camera was searing.

“Can you take the dress off for me?” his voice was a lower octave than before, eyes still watching your shadowed body moving across the messy bed.

“Not sure how to make this look sexy but…” You huff, carelessly tearing the thin material over your head and throwing it to the side, “your wish is my command.”

Lando chuckles quietly and strides over to you, no longer able to keep his hands off what was his. He hopes there’s enough space on his card for what he was about to do to you – because in reality, this was selfishly for him to indulge in when you weren’t near, to feel like you were close when you’re a million miles away. You sat on the edge of the bed, eyes following his as he reaches out and presses down your hair, frizzed up by the dress sitting on the floor beside his feet.

“So cute,” He admires, “And somehow even sexier…”

He leans down and meets your craned neck halfway in a tender, reassuring kiss, “If it gets too weird just say, baby.”

His words were just loud enough for you to hear, not for the camera – just you, “Oh, you know I will.”

He laughs into the kiss, knowing that you were in full control of this situation – he was under no illusions when it came to your dynamic. It was laced through your entire relationship, the fair balance of power – of give and take. But tonight, all he wanted was to make you feel good and so he rested between your already shaky thighs and pried them apart, basking in how seduced you are by his little ploy.

“You pretend like this shit doesn’t turn you on but look at you,” He revels, one solitary finger brushing languidly through your folds and earning an impatient growl.

Lando wasn’t in the mood for teasing – the battery life on the camera and your legs wrapping tightly around his head made sure of that. He helps you shuffle back on the bed, hands gripping your hips as he rearranges the shot – you caught a glimpse of the blurry reflection of the two of you naked on the camera lens and it sent a pang of doubt down your spine, chilling.

“I hope we don’t look disgusting when we watch this back.” It was an honest thought – one you hope doesn’t kill the mood.

“You look so unbelievably hot,” Lando hums, kissing the top of your shoulder before pressing his hand to your lower back, “Lay on your front and I’ll fuck you like this…”

You raise a sceptical eyebrow, “From the back? This is getting real porny now.” But of course you do it, positioning yourself on your stomach, backside up with a playful smirk that had the man behind you grinning like an idiot.

“Might as well put on a bit of a show just in case this does get out somehow,” Lando teases, earning a swift round arm to the ribs. He grimaces in pain but you knew behind those flirtatious blue eyes, he loves it.

“Well you better fuck me good, huh? Wouldn’t want people thinking you’re a dud shag…” Now it was your turn to taunt and Lando’s reaction was the exact one you were praying for.

A hasty smack to your ass that had been brushing against his clothed cock for better part of a minute; it wasn’t a hard but it certainly wasn’t timid, either and the moan that slipped from your lips had him itching to rearrange your insides. He smoothed over the reddening mark and pressed a sweet kiss to your spine before pushing down the waistband of his sweatpants, freeing himself between your thighs.

“Don’t hold back those sweet sounds, pretty girl. I wanna hear you, okay? I want everyone to hear you…”

“Same goes for you, handsome.”

Your eyes flutter shut as you surrender to the delicious stretch he gives you. Weakly pushing back but making no head way in adjusting. A whimper falls from your mouth before the squeal when Lando lunges forward, pushing deeper with a sadistic grin lining his bitten lips. He was sweating already – tanned skin glimmering against the darkening sunset while every muscle on his stomach contracted, delving further into your depths.

“That’s it, Lan,” You sputter out, blowing stray hairs out of your face so you can get a good look at your boyfriend, “Move it just like that – yes…”

And he did, rotating your hips tantalisingly slow to begin but gradually building up his long, delectable strokes – the sounds of skin slapping and shallow breathing heightening all of the senses. In the midst of his relentlessness, you manage to slip your hand between your thighs, toying with the sensitive bud begging for your attention. Lando’s strained hum of approval when he felt your back arching sent a rush of blood to your fingertips.

“Tell me how good it feels when you play with yourself?” He asks, hunched over and kissing the nape of your neck when you opened your eyes, giggling at the wispy curls tickling your skin, “Is that how you do it when I’m not around?”

“God, yes… But wish you were always here, baby.”

“Do ya imagine me fucking you like this, huh? Begging for that pussy to come around my cock?” He probes, receiving a moan in response – your brain short-circuiting from the orgasm quickly approaching, easing you over the edge.  

You buried your head at first, shying away from the little red light flashing in your rolling eyes until Lando gently encouraged you to ‘show him your pretty face when you come undone’. It was all whispers and moans and absolute bliss when you resurfaced, pupils blown out from both sides as Lando reached over you and flipped the small preview screen around.

“Look at yourself,” He grunts into your neck, losing control of every single fibre of his being as he pumped into you.

“Fill me up, Lan. Make a mess…”

“If you say shit like that to me, you're gonna make me– fucking… fuck,” He sputters out, chanting your name, and before you can even blink, you feel that familiar twitch inside you.

The one that almost always triggers another high, extremely close to losing yourself to the white hot pleasure all over again.

Lando collapses into your slick back, his warm release pooling as he catches his breath and holds you tightly. You look up at the camera – the red light still flashing as you muster up every ounce of energy remaining and pick it up off the tripod. You hold it stupidly close to his flushed cheeks that are pressed into your skin, eyes closed.

“Any last words before I turn this off?” You ask, Lando slowly lifts his chin up and rests it next to your face. You smile at how equally fucked out and sleepy you both appear, blissfully satisfied by your work. His voice is gravelly when he tries to speak, clearing his throat before trying again.

“Um, yeah so make sure you like the video and subscribe if you haven’t already…”

“Stop!” You shout and smack him in the shoulder – Lando groans with faux pain into your neck as you turn the camera off and wriggle out of his strong grasp.

“You are unbelievable!” You jest, swatting his tickling fingertips away.

“What? I could’ve said stay tuned for part two…”

a/n – happy new years everyone x

[starlightkun]

➥ word count: 28.9k ➥ warnings: cursing, side character makes one (1) kms joke (“walk into traffic”), probable overuse of the word skeeze for a couple scenes ➥ genre: angst heavy at the beginning then fluff, science fantasy au, soulmate au (red string), speculative fiction, star crossed lovers, a little mystery-ish, artist sungchan ➥ author’s note: omg i’m sooo excited for this one! had a lot of fun with the worldbuilding and such, and as always, with characterizing sungchan. unfortunately due to tumblr’s 1000 block limit (which was created to hurt me personally), i had to do some modifications to this in order to make it fit (i was like 150 blocks over and really didn’t want to split it into two parts for no reason). if you want the authentic, unadulterated experience with original formatting and one extra scene, i highly, highly recommend reading it on ao3

To your horror, the string completed itself, connecting seamlessly to the pinky of the stranger in front of you. The young man looked at you with wonderment, a wide smile coming to his features, brightness and recognition in them. He opened his mouth, presumably to say hello, or whatever soulmates did when they met, but before he could utter anything, you dropped the book and took off at a run.

Humming along to your music, you watched the city pass by, felt the bus start and stop, and were vaguely aware of the same passengers as always getting on and off. You took the same bus every day, Monday through Friday, as you had for the past two years, since you’d been promoted and moved to better accommodations that you could afford with your new pay.

There were regulars on your commute, such as the elderly couple who got on one stop after you on the first Monday every month, and got off at the stop that you knew was closest to the art museum. They sat in the row behind you, and explained to you once that they had been passholders at the museum for years, and that was when new exhibits were rotated in. Or in the front of the bus, a pair of sisters that you had inadvertently seen grow up over the years, who got on some time before your stop, and got off two stops before you in the morning, close to a nearby private school. You could sometimes hear the older one helping the younger with homework, or making last-minute fixes to her hair or uniform.

There were of course lots of office workers as well, who all rushed on and off the bus with promptness at their stops. You recalled fondly the primary school teacher who used to sit next to you, young and always dressed in fun, colorful prints. She had blurted out one morning that she was pregnant, and you were the first person she was telling, even before her husband. She didn’t know how to tell him yet, but was so excited and had to share the news with somebody, even a stranger that she only knew for a few minutes a day on the bus. You’d watched over the months as she started to show, then told you one morning she was just going on a short maternity leave to have her baby boy but would be back sooner than you’d know. She never got back on again. You hoped her son was beautiful and healthy, and still thought of them every so often when you’d look up and pass by her stop.

And then there was you. You sometimes wondered what they thought of you, if any of them did. It would be strange if they didn’t have at least a passing opinion of you. Not because you yourself did anything remarkable on your daily commute. You got on, took the same seat every day, listened to your music with your headphones in, and got off at the same stop. But no matter how normal your routine was, how quaint your occasional conversations with your fellow commuters were, there was something that set you apart.

As signified by the strawberry red jumpsuit you donned five days a week, you worked at The Soulmate Factory. It was technically called the Bureau of Interpersonal Affairs, but everyone just called it The Soulmate Factory, even the employees. Not the most popular place to work, but the work that was done there had to be done nevertheless. All Factory employees were ineligible for matching, in order to maintain the integrity of the Bureau’s image. Your family could never understand why you’d accept a position there; never getting a soulmate of your own, never getting the one person destined for you. But you didn’t see it like that. It’s not like you could never fall in love, find a partner to spend your life with, or be fulfilled in any millions of other ways.

The bus jerked to a stop again, and the doors swung open. You stood up and hurried off. You were the only passenger to depart here, as usual. A building loomed in the distance, all flashing windows and pink marble. Following in a few other coworkers in matching red jumpsuits, you hurried up the stairs, catching up to a familiar head of hair on the way up.

“Morning, Jaemin!” You chirped, nudging his arm with yours as you fell into step with him.

“Oh, hey, Y/N! Morning!” He offered you a bright smile, stepping off at the same floor as you and walking over to your neighboring desks.

“Hey, did you ever read that book I leant you?” You asked, dropping your backpack off at your desk before heading for the breakroom together. There was always a quiet buzz in the morning that you liked, when everybody was still mellow from waking up, but excited to start the day.

He hissed regretfully, a sheepish smile already coming to his face, telling you everything you needed to know, “Well...”

“You haven’t touched it since the day I gave it to you.”

“I’m going to! Promise!”

“It’s coming up on my re-read list,” you warned him, starting a fresh pot of coffee. “I only have like four books ahead of it. That gives you like, four weeks max.”

“You need to rot your brain with some TV or something.” He shook his head teasingly, reaching up into a cabinet and pulling down a box of cereal.

“Hey, isn’t that—”

“Na Jaemin, if you value your life, you’ll put that box down now.” The stern voice of Huang Renjun cracked through the air.

Jaemin turned around, hiding the box behind his back as he offered your other coworker a sickly sweet smile. “What box?”

“Come here, you son of a—”

“Hey, let’s not commit homicide before the weekly agenda meeting, maybe?” You suggested loudly over their squabbling, as Renjun had just grabbed Jaemin by the collar. “Because I’m pretty sure if you kill Jaemin, they’ll just reassign you his work, Renjun. Might want to see what your workload is like first.”

Renjun yanked the box of cereal out of Jaemin’s hand then, holding it to his chest protectively and scowling. “Fine. You better hope that you’re on data synthesis, Jaemin.”

He walked out still clutching the box to his chest.

“He’s just going to eat it dry by the fistful, isn’t he?” You sighed, starting to pour yourself a cup of coffee.

“Definitely,” Jaemin confirmed. “And I’m suddenly really wanting to do some data synthesis this week.”

After getting dismissed from the weekly agenda meeting—during which Jaemin was assigned data synthesis, and Renjun got profile compiling—you headed back to your desks. You weren’t assigned anything because your job was the same every day. You were on a very specific career trajectory at The Soulmate Factory after showing promise in the typical six months of entry-level training for new employees. Following those six months, your fellow trainees went on to start their jobs, while you went through an additional two and a half years of specialized training for your position: matchmaking.

You didn’t sit down at your computer when you got back to your desk, simply placing your nearly empty coffee cup on it before taking off down the hall to the room in which you actually did most of your work.

Swiping your badge at the access panel, the door clicked to unlock, and you pushed it open. There were a couple of other matchmakers already in there, who didn’t offer you a single glance or any indication that they were even aware of your presence. Sitting at your station, you were face-to-face with a quaintly archaic-looking computer. Compared to the newest monitors at every desk in the main bullpen, which could display images in a resolution so crisp it was hard to tell the difference between that and real life, the small, square glass and pixelated text that was in front of you seemed so out of place. But this was the system. Pressing the Enter button on your keyboard, your screen came to life, already giving you your first match.

N!#83LPd5D4ZR$PYQ^KLT6WnY##4GYVm74v^f@96#q#hheeRYgLLf3Ft9KQw

‘Matchmaker’ was a misnomer, really. You didn’t set people up to be soulmates whatsoever. The computer gave you the results, all you did was read them. Take the seemingly random string of letters, numbers, and characters, and parse out the meaning. Your training consisted of watching other matchmakers work, then trying your hand at doing some on your own, being told that you were wrong or right, with no explanation as to why either way—until you stopped getting them wrong. And whenever it would be your turn to train a matchmaker, that would be exactly how you’d train them. Because there was no way to tell them what exactly you were seeing, or how to do it. They just had to do. The longest part was looking up the profile numbers in the program, selecting them, and sending off the match results. As soon as you submitted that one, your next match came up.

jkD%NVSC3%JCacN%vWS5#k!Z4GqGW#ZfMyqGUfc@wQT5L5vK2uWU5N*5Lg&6

Your body moved as if by itself, in understanding with the machine, the program. The matchmakers often talked about entering a sort of trance when working, becoming one mind with the computer, completely unaware of their surroundings, time, or bodily needs. Only the next match. That’s why all of your screens had to be simultaneously forced into a shut-off at lunchtime, or else none of you would take a lunch break, then again at the end of the workday.

Blinking a few times to readjust from the hours spent interfacing with the program, you looked around you at the other matchmakers slowly getting up from their seats as well. With a sigh, you stood up and shuffled out after them. Jaemin was still at his desk when you got back to yours, fervently clacking away at his keyboard. You grabbed your coffee mug, went to wash it out in the breakroom and set it up to dry, then returned to your desk. Swallowing in an attempt to wet your dry throat, you asked him, “So how was your thrilling day of data synthesis?”

“Not over yet,” he groaned, scrolling down in his spreadsheet. “Hey, wait up a minute, would you?”

Checking the time on your watch, you nodded. “My bus doesn’t come for another twenty-five. They let us out early again.”

“Yeah, I heard the Director on the phone to somebody a while ago. He sounded pissed. Apparently, there’s some concerns over the Factory’s energy usage. They must be cutting you guys a few minutes early every day to try to help since you still use old hardware, right?”

“Mm,” you hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah, could be.”

“You’d think we’d be the one agency that wouldn’t be hit with budget cuts,” he scoffed, clicking a few things before his monitor displayed the login screen again. He spun around in his chair, giving you a wide smile. “Alright, ready?”

“Sure.” You grabbed your backpack from your seat. Jaemin and you headed down the stairs, awash in pinks and oranges from the sunset streaming in from outside.

“So, I already know what the answer is going to be, but I have to be able to say that I asked, alright?” Your coworker began, making you scrunch up your face in confusion. “My sister wanted me to ask if you’ve done hers yet? Na Minhee?”

You sighed, “Jaemin, you know I don’t know any of that—” “I know—” “—it’s all just… stuff. And you’ve compiled profiles, those are completely anonymous.”

“I know, I know,” he reassured you. “I just needed to be able to tell her that I asked, and that’s what you said. She wouldn’t take my word for it.”

“She’d know if hers has already been done, anyway.” You held up your hand, wiggling your pinky finger. “Why ask you?”

“Because she’s impatient.”

“Well, I can’t help her.” You shrugged. “It’ll happen when it happens.”

“I’ll tell her that. Thanks!”

“Yeah, no problem, dude.”

“When does your bus come?”

You checked the time again. “Fifteen minutes or so.”

“You want me to wait with you?” He offered, looking around the empty bus stop. “Kind of dark.”

“I’m alright, thanks. Go break your sister’s heart, champ.” You gave him a mock punch on the shoulder.

On your own again, you took your phone and headphones out, popping one earbud in your ear as you went to choose your playlist. As you scrolled, tapped, and swiped through your phone to try to pick the perfect song, some fuzz fell from your jumpsuit onto your right pinky finger, and you absentmindedly shook it off as your focus stayed on your music library. But it was stubborn, and the red fleck didn’t budge. You wiped the digit on your pants, eyes on where you had finally gotten the perfect choice, the song starting up as you lifted your now-clean hand back up.

Except it was still there. You looked at your hand for the first time, really looked at it, and felt your stomach drop. A thin, bright red string, the same color as your jumpsuit, was tied around your right pinky finger, just above the juncture where the finger met your hand. The string hung off in the air, becoming transparent and disappearing altogether less than a finger’s length away. You turned your hand over, palm to back to palm to back, and the string moved with it, the end fluttering with each of your movements. Stupidly, you tried to grab it, as if to pull it off, but when you took hold of the silken thread and gave it a yank, it didn’t budge. For a split second, amputation came to mind, but you quickly pushed those thoughts away. There were stories of people losing fingers or entire limbs and their strings reappearing on the other hand, or in new places altogether if they had no hands at all.

You looked around for any of your coworkers. Nobody else except the two people on either end of the string could see it, but you still didn’t want anybody to be observing your behavior, and then have to try to explain said behavior right now. It was easy to explain why you were doing what you were doing—you just got a red string; but not how—you weren’t supposed to get one. Ever. The area around you was empty, the majority of your coworkers driving, taking the subway, or not having left work yet. You looked over your shoulder, at the pink marble building looming in the distance.

The squeal of brakes and hiss of compressed air as the doors of a bus were flung open made you turn around. Rushing up the steps onto the bus, you then plopped into your usual seat, keeping your backpack on your lap and instinctively tucking your right hand between the bag and your body to keep the string hidden. You didn’t know who could possibly be your soulmate now, you had to be vigilant. You didn’t relax until you were safely tucked away in your apartment, door locked behind you, no plans to see any other humans for the rest of the day.

The next morning, you kept your right hand hidden away as much as possible on your commute, in your pockets, behind your bag, under your thigh. You didn’t feel remotely safe until you were in the matchmaking room, at your station. Even then, it took you longer than normal to stop from looking at your pinky and actually focus on the first match up on your screen. Once you had, everything else faded away like usual, and you could only think about reading the matches.

vLZD%v7^XftyvnM6HcxszgUbT6EaPaza41tJtv%#HFby%5Y2rWdujYUj8X21

At lunch, you typically would’ve taken your packed lunch to a nearby public park to eat, but that was too risky. So you took it to the breakroom, sitting at the small table and taking out one of your books from your bag. A few other coworkers came in and out to use the microwave or retrieve their own lunch from the fridge, but nobody bothered you as you read. You finished your food rather quick, and found yourself a bit too distracted to focus on your book. The red string on your finger was back in the forefront of your mind. Checking the time, you saw that you still had over half of your break left. With a sigh, you shut your book and walked back over to your desk next to Jaemin’s.

The floor was pretty empty, only a couple of your coworkers left who either took early or later lunches. You turned on the desktop computer, waiting for it to start up before quickly signing on. Opening up the program where profiles were compiled to be fed into the matchmaking system, you chewed on the inside of your cheek thoughtfully, clicking around on the controls. During the basic training you’d received over five years ago, you’d been shown how to compile and enter a profile into the database, and you obviously searched them up from your matchmaking station. But these were all profiles that hadn’t been matched yet, that didn’t have red strings. You needed to get into wherever the profiles that had been successfully matched were. If they were kept somewhere at all.

After poking around some more in the application, you determined that either you didn’t have the technical know-how to access that information, the administrative access to do so, or that information wasn’t stored in the first place. Exiting out of the program with a sigh, you dropped your chin into your palm, scrunching your eyes and nose up as you continued thinking. It felt like it was right there, right on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t grab it for some reason. The weekly agenda meeting, something about the weekly agenda meeting—Jaemin was assigned data synthesis. They compiled information on all kinds of stuff regarding matched soulmates: average time to meet after the strings appear, get married, have kids, how many kids, length of time they’re together prior to death, the list goes on. That couldn’t come from nowhere. They had to keep track of soulmates somehow, right?

You quickly opened the Internet browser, going to the Bureau’s website and finding the ‘Studies and Statistics’ page. All of the things you were thinking about were there, complete with fancy little graphics. It didn’t tell you anything about where this stuff was stored internally, but this meant that it had to be, somehow, somewhere. Which meant that your match had to be somewhere, and if you could just find it, then you could—

What? Undo it somehow? It had to be possible. But first you had to find out how it happened in the first place, which meant laying eyes on the match itself, at least. You needed some kind of starting point, and that felt like as good as any.

At the end of the day, the matchmakers were let out early again, and you waited up at your desk as Jaemin was still working. He looked over his shoulder at you curiously. “You need something, Y/N? I don’t have your book, sorry.”

“No, I have a question. But you can finish your work first.”

He made an interested noise, and turned back to his screen. After entering a few more things into his spreadsheet, he pressed save, then exited out with a satisfied groan. He shut down his computer and leaned back, audibly cracking his back. “Fucking finally! If I ever have to look at another number again, I’ll walk into traffic.”

You chuckled as the two of you set off. “Data synthesis that bad?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed one of his eyes. “Anyway, what’d you want to ask me?”

“It was actually about data synthesis…”

“No!” He whined, shaking his head fervently.

“One question! One question!” You begged.

“Fine…”

“The data that you use, how do you get that? Like, where do you get it from?”

He looked at you, squinting with confusion. “From soulmates that have already been matched?”

“Then the Factory keeps records of matches after the strings have been triggered.”

“Yeah, we do.”

“Where? Is it a separate database from the one that you enter new profiles into? Or is it part of the matchmaking program?”

“I mean, it’s probably its own thing? I don’t know, I get the numbers in my data synthesis project assignments. If I need more, or something different, I tell the project manager and he gets it for me.”

“Huh.” You kept the disappointment off your face, as well as curiosity. While he didn’t know a lot, what he didn’t know actually was helpful to you. “Okay, thanks.”

“That was more than one question.”

“Right, sorry.”

“What’s going on? Why the interest in data synthesis all of a sudden?”

“Just curious, since you guys seem to hate it so much.”

“It’s… mind-numbing, to say the least.”

“Here’s hoping next week you’re on profile compiling.”

“Fingers crossed,” he sighed. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

The next few days passed without incident. Your intervals of snooping around on your desktop computer during your lunch breaks were fruitless in finding wherever completed matches were stored, and soon it was Friday evening, and the work week was over. Not even a crisis like this could make you work late on a Friday. You realized when you got home that you were out of groceries, and ordered delivery to your apartment. Can’t risk someone at the restaurant being your soulmate.

Saturday morning you woke up and left early to go grocery shopping, hopefully before most anybody would be out and about. Well, before one person in particular would be awake—your soulmate. Only problem was, you didn’t know who that was, so you had to avoid pretty much everybody. As you walked through the streets keeping your hands crossed and tucked under your arms, you kept your head down, eyes focused only on your feet. If you couldn’t see anybody’s hands and couldn’t possibly see a red string, hopefully they wouldn’t see yours.

Except as you rushed through the streets, you passed by your favorite small bookstore, with its doors wide open, and a sign out front on the sidewalk advertising a huge sale, 70% off a table of books right by the doorway. You couldn’t help but stop—just for a second—to check it out, spotting a title by one of your favorite authors that you’d been meaning to read but hadn’t yet. Picking up the book to look at the price and turning it over in your hands to skim the blurb on the back, you were barely aware of the sounds of some young men playing with a Frisbee at the park across the street, their yells fading into the din of the waking city.

That was, until the purple, plastic disc came skittering across the pavement to a stop right at your feet, and a tall man jogged up after it, still calling to his friend over his shoulder, “Nice aim, Anton! You almost took this poor woman’s head off!”

You missed what his friend said in response as you were already looking up from the Frisbee with the intent to tell him that you were quite alright, then your eyes got caught on a thin red loop around his pinky finger. Snapping your gaze down to your own hand, which was still holding the book, then back to his as he stood now right in front of you, your eyes widened with alarm.

To your horror, the string completed itself, connecting seamlessly to the pinky of the stranger in front of you. The young man looked at you with wonderment, a wide smile coming to his features, brightness and recognition in them. He opened his mouth, presumably to say hello, or whatever soulmates did when they met, but before he could utter anything, you dropped the book and took off at a run. You sprinted away, turning down streets at random, until your legs were burning and you had a stitch in your side. Ducking around another shop, you hid behind the building to catch your breath, sure that you had lost him. Your heartbeat was thudding loudly in your ears, and you habitually tried to shake off that stupid, pesky red string again.

“Look—” A voice suddenly registering right over your shoulder made you jump and scramble back. The man had found you, holding his hands out in front of him like he was trying to calm a wild animal or a spooked horse. His chest was heaving as he was as out of breath as you were (presumably from running after you). There was a bewildered, confused look in his wide eyes as he kept himself between you and the only way out of the alley you had unintentionally backed yourself into. “I don’t normally chase women through the streets, sorry.”

You stayed silent as you looked between him and the exit. The red string hung between you, painfully obvious.

“I just… wanted to talk, you know,” he continued, gesturing to said string. “I’m Sungchan.”

You shook your head, clenching your jaw tightly to avoid making any kind of sound.

“What?” He tilted his head. “You… won’t tell me your name?”

You stared at him, unmoving.

“You know what, we got off on a bad foot, and clearly this is not a good time for you.” Sungchan stepped away from the alley entrance entirely. “Bye for now.”

Taking hesitant, shuffling steps, uncertain that he was actually going to let you leave, you kept your eyes laser focused on him until you were out of the alley, at which point you promptly booked it down the road again. You didn’t stop until you could no longer breathe, your legs shook and threatened to give out any second, and you had tears streaming down your face from the wind blowing into them.

That day you looked up how to get rid of a red string. You knew it was stupid, impossible to do at home. You literally worked at The Soulmate Factory, you were a matchmaker, for fuck’s sake, you were the one giving them out in the first place.

None of it worked, of course. Not meditating, praying, attempting to light it on fire, soaking your finger in a mixture of various oils and herbs from your spice cabinet, scrubbing really hard with the coarse side of a sponge, or crying for thirty minutes straight (that last one was just you being frustrated, no Internet listicle or sketchy guru suggested that). It was still there after everything, as pristine as when it appeared less than a week ago. Less than a week ago. Much faster than average, according to the statistics that you had just looked up the other day. The average time from getting the red string to meeting was seven months and eighteen days, with some taking several years. And yours just had to be within five days. You felt like you could cry again, if you didn’t already have a throbbing headache from how much you had done that earlier.

Now, you were sitting under the spray of your shower, holding your knees to your chest, trying not to look at it. You couldn’t look at your finger, at the red string, but if you closed your eyes, you just saw his face—Sungchan.

On Monday, you continued your investigation with renewed vigor. When you swiped into the matchmaking room, you didn’t go to your station, instead you headed for the back, where there was a short flight of stairs up to an office. Knocking on the door, you waited for the familiar voice inside to beckon you in.

“Come in.”

Pushing your way in, you nodded politely to your supervisor, “Good morning, Ms. Kwon.”

“Good morning, Y/N.” She brought her hands down from where they had been poised over her keyboard to rest in her lap. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” you lied. “How are you?”

“Fine. What brings you to my office this morning?”

“I… have sort of a weird question, if that’s alright.”

She gestured to the two chairs opposite her. “Of course.”

You sat in one, making a conscious effort to keep your knee from bouncing nervously.

“What is your question?” She prompted you.

“There’s never any mistakes, right?”

“Mistakes? No, you’re all trained right.” Ms. Kwon arched an eyebrow. “Do you think you’ve made a mistake, Y/N?”

“No, not the matchmakers. I mean… the computer does whatever it does with the information it’s given, right? That we collect?” You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for what you were about to say. “What if… it gets the wrong information? Wouldn’t it all be wrong if it’s given the wrong stuff in the first place?”

“The profiles we compile are extremely rudimentary, and that isn’t all the information it uses. The computer does more than we can ever know.”

“But what if… there’s an extra profile in there that was never supposed to be in there?”

“Like a person that doesn’t exist? How would a fake person even get created in the first place?”

“No I mean like—You know how Factory employees are taken out of the program? What if somehow, someone got missed? Like, their match happened right before their first day or something crazy. So they got matched up when they weren’t supposed to.”

“I’ve never heard of that happening.” She shook her head, leaning back in her seat and crossing her legs at the knee. “As soon as we receive someone’s application, their profile is removed from the program. If they’re not hired, their profile is put back in. If they are hired, the data is permanently destroyed.”

“Where’s it stored when it’s temporarily removed during the application process, then?”

She didn’t answer your question, her face turning concerned instead of simply confused as before. “Y/N, what’s going on? Do you know of a Factory employee who’s been matched up?”

You shook your head, trying not to deny it too quickly or with too much fervor. “No, I just—Got a brain itch about it, I don’t know. Seems too… uncertain.”

“I can assure you, no Factory employee has ever been matched up. Accidentally or otherwise,” she replied smoothly, a reassuring smile coming to her features. “You can rest easy; no mistakes are made here.”

“Can you just… answer my question? Please?” You pleaded, picking at your nails to avoid messing with your pinky. “I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“Alright, to soothe your brain itch,” she agreed, sounding amused. “It’s another list in the profiles database that we import into your matchmaking program, except only personnel with a certain clearance can view, add, and remove profiles from the list. Once a round of interviews has been completed, the applicants on the list are either marked as hired or not. If they’re marked as hired, their profile information is permanently destroyed upon their first day of training. If they’re marked as not, it’s returned to the main database that everyone has access to.”

“One more thing?”

“Sure.”

“Once a match is made, where does that information go? Like, the reports, the profiles, is it stored anywhere?”

“We maintain all of those records in another program. Those with higher clearance have access to it, for security purposes, since profiles are de-anonymized in it. Data synthesis uses them for reports frequently.”

“Okay, thanks.” You offered her a feigned, relieved smile, then tacked on a quick fib, “Just wanted a little refresh, in case we got any new hires anytime soon.”

“Already looking to train, Y/N?”

“Oh, maybe…” You laughed nervously, as if shy about being caught with your eye on a promotion already and not anxious from having to discretely interrogate your supervisor.

“You always were ambitious. And wanting to learn more about the program and the Bureau… I like it.” Ms. Kwon nodded her approval. “Feel free to ask about any other brain itches you get, okay?”

“Right, thanks.” You stood up, giving her a polite bow. “I should get to my station. Thank you again, ma’am.”

As you hurried down to your matchmaking station, you easily came to the realization of what you’d need to do next. There was no way you’d be able to just wait until you were promoted to a position with high enough security clearance for the post-matched program, that sounded like it would be people of Ms. Kwon’s position and above. You’d have to get into the program using one of their access points. Somehow. But you didn’t have time to brainstorm a plan for that at the moment, you had matches to read. You sank down into the comfortable, posture-saving chair, and let your mind mesh with the computer as the first one loaded up on the screen.

The next day, you waited at your bus stop, leaning against the shelter and eating your apple one-handed. Pedestrians would occasionally pass by, but your area was mainly young families, so most residents drove their children to daycare or school, then either returned home, or went to work themselves. There was the occasional parent who would jog by with a stroller, or pulling a stroller hitched to the back of a bicycle, but for the most part it was just you and your apple, which you were nearly done with. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a lone jogger approaching, and took a step back to allow him to pass, eyes still down on your phone and apple as your bus hadn’t arrived yet. Except this jogger slowed to a stop in front of you. You followed the red string from the hand that held your apple core up to a somewhat familiar face, looking down at you in mild confusion.

He was admittedly sweatier now, pieces of hair curling and sticking to the skin at his hairline, and his t-shirt sported a damp spot starting at his collar going down the middle of his chest. But this was definitely Sungchan, as signified by the red string connecting your right pinky to his left. He lifted the hem of his shirt to quickly pat drops of sweat away from his face and took one of his earbuds out as he offered you an easygoing smile.

“Hi. Feeling better?” He asked, his tone light and teasing.

“Why are you here?” You practically snapped. You thought you’d be safe at your bus stop of all places, which you were at every day. You knew your neighborhood, the people on your bus, but he still somehow showed up. “I-I take the same bus every day, at the same time, and I’ve never seen you jogging in the morning!”

“Oh, yeah, I stayed at my sister’s place last night, she lives around here.” Sungchan casually gestured over his shoulder at the general vicinity. “So I had to take a different route than normal for my morning run. You live in this area?”

You stared at him, jaw clenched.

“Sorry, probably sounded a little weird asking you that, huh?” He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uhm, it’s just that you said you’re at this same bus stop every day at the same time, so I figured you, uhm… never mind. I’m Jung Sungchan, I realized I didn’t properly introduce myself last time. I’d offer my hand or hug you or something but I’m a bit sweaty…”

Taking a deep breath, you tried to think of how to politely phrase the everything you had to tell him, but he just kept talking.

“I’d like to uh, you know, know your name, too. Since we’re uhm, you know… soulmates? And uh—”

“Sungchan!” You cut him off, and he immediately shut his mouth. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to know my name.”

“What? What are you talking about? But we’re—”

“I’m not supposed to have a soulmate!” You gestured wildly to your uniform. “This was a mistake! An error! I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have ever happened. I’ll get it fixed, okay? I’ll figure out how to undo it, and make sure you get put back in.”

He frowned thoughtfully. “I thought the Factory didn’t make mistakes.”

“The computer doesn’t. But somehow, somebody must have put a paper in the wrong stack, or not deleted something when they should’ve, I don’t know! But I’ll fix it.”

The bus finally arrived then with its usual screech of brakes and hiss of the pneumatic doors, and you stepped away from Sungchan towards it.

“I have to go.” You told him with finality, tossing your apple core in a nearby trashcan and boarding the bus without waiting to hear if he had something else to say.

Without having to avoid the entire world now, you actually took your lunch today. But as soon as you stepped outside of the building and turned from the front doors, you spotted a familiar tall figure standing awkwardly off to the side, no longer in sweaty running gear. You made a beeline for Sungchan, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him to the most secluded corner of the open space as you could, away from all your coworkers who were heading off to take their own break.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You hissed at him, constantly glancing around to make sure nobody was close enough to hear you two.

His face did look genuinely regretful, though exasperated at the same time. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to find you.”

“Why are you trying to find me?”

He held up his left pinky. You pushed it back down. “I’m working on it!”

“No, I—” He let out a frustrated groan, rubbing his face. “Can we like… I don’t know, talk, or something?”

“Why?”

“Don’t you think I should get a say in you undoing this?”

You inhaled sharply. “You’re right, Sungchan. I’m sorry. We should talk.”

“Finally, thank you.”

Checking the time for a moment, you then offered, “I have fifty-five minutes left of my lunch break. Do you want to join me?”

“Sure, sure.”

You led him away from The Soulmate Factory, along a familiar path. There was a riverside public park nearby, and on days when you packed your lunch, and it was nice out, you would eat outside.

Sungchan broke the silence, “Will you ever tell me your name?”

“Y/N. Y/L/N Y/N,” you informed him flatly. “Happy?”

“Y/N,” he repeated, as if savoring your name. “Okay, thanks.”

The park was only a couple minutes’ walk, and you had a very specific destination in mind once you two got there.

“I packed a lunch today, sorry,” you said quietly, sitting down on the wall overlooking the river, your feet swinging in the air.

Sungchan sat down next to you. “That’s fine. I can grab something later.”

Opening your lunch bag, you grabbed your sandwich and held out half to him. He accepted it gingerly. “Thank you.”

“I haven’t figured out how to undo it yet, but I can enter a profile into the program easy, so once I do undo it, don’t worry about me putting you back in. You’ll be all set,” you reassured him, taking a bite.

“You’re still talking like this is a done deal. Undoing it.”

“I’d be fixing someone’s mistake, Sungchan. That’s what you do at work. When you see a piece of paper is misfiled, or a decimal is in the wrong place, or a typo on a presentation, you fix it, even if you didn’t do it.”

“It’s just… human error?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all that’s happened here, you think?”

“Whoever was supposed to take my profile out didn’t for some reason, and the computer got it when it wasn’t supposed to,” you confirmed emphatically.

“How does it work, the program? And the profiles, and the computer? All of it?” He questioned.

You gave him as simplified of a version as you could, “Profiles and a bunch of other data points get put into the program, which imports them into the computer. The computer spits out the resulting matches, I—we, matchmakers read them and submit the match reports, triggering the red strings.”

“So it wasn’t given any incorrect information about you or me? Nobody tampered with the system to force it to match us, or falsified a match?”

“No, you can’t do that. It’s impossible.”

“The only hiccup, in your opinion, was that it was given your data at all.”

“Yes, Factory employees aren’t allowed to—”

“Whose rule is that?”

“The Bureau—”

“So, it’s literally just bureaucracy?”

“I like my job,” you huffed, frustrated that he wasn’t seeing the blatantly obvious mistake that had happened. “It’s a rule for a reason. Factory employees are taken out of the program so the public doesn’t think employees are rigging their matches.”

“Can’t rig your soulmate if you don’t get one,” he scoffed.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“You say that like having one would be the worst thing in the world!” Sungchan replied incredulously.

“It is for me! Because do you know what would happen if people at the Bureau found out this happened?” You looked at him with wide, pointed eyes. “Just losing my job would probably be the best outcome. And who knows what would happen to you!”

“But—”

“I’m sorry, Sungchan. I’m sure you had imagined all of this, your red string, and the person at the other end of it, going a lot different. And I’m sure it will, when I fix everything.” You stood up, cutting your conversation and lunch short. “Don’t come to my work again, okay? For both our sakes.”

“Yeah, okay. Sorry,” he muttered, looking out at the water.

Back at the Factory, you finished eating your lunch at your desk, then shuffled back to the matchmaking room. After swiping in, you realized that you were pretty early, the first one back. Curious, you peered up at Ms. Kwon’s office. She was in there, of course. No way would you be able to attempt to use her computer to access the higher-clearance data. You sank into the chair at your station with a deep sigh. Drumming your fingers along the desktop, you let your eyes flutter shut. You’d have to wait for the others to get back from lunch for the power to be returned to the screens. In the meantime, you could just ruminate.

“Y/N?” Ms. Kwon’s voice came from the direction of her office. “Back so soon?”

You opened your eyes back up, turning to look at her. You nodded sheepishly. “Quick eater…”

“I feel like I’ve seen you in the breakroom with a book before. Nothing today?”

“Forgot it at home.”

“Alright, well… have fun, I suppose.” She turned to go back into her office.

“There’s no way to undo a match, is there?” You blurted out, stopping her in her tracks. She turned back around to look at you curiously as you continued, “Once we press submit on the computer, that’s it?”

Ms. Kwon cocked her head, leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs. “You should’ve been told this in training… No, there isn’t a way to ‘undo’ a match. We aren’t even matching them, just reporting on what the computer says. All the reports do is trigger the strings. The two people are soulmates regardless of the computer. We just intervene so they can find each other.”

You gulped and nodded. “Of course. I knew that… I… I don’t know. Thank you, Ms. Kwon.”

“Another brain itch?”

“Yeah, I guess,” you forced out a couple of chuckles to cover up the dread you felt on the inside.

“Alright. Remember, ‘The Soulmate Factory’ isn’t very accurate. We don’t make soulmates here, they’re already out there.”

“Right, yeah. Terrible nickname, huh?”

She shrugged. “It’s cute. Good for branding. I’ve got a few things to work on, unless you have any other burning questions for me?”

“No, Ms. Kwon, that’s it. Thank you, again.”

“No problem, Y/N.” And with that, she retreated into her office once more.

Dragging your feet back out to your desk at the end of the workday, you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating pretending to have extra work so you could stay late and try to sneak onto Ms. Kwon’s computer to access the matched profiles. But her office was behind a door with swipe access, it would log that you swiped in after hours. A digital breadcrumb trail.

“Hey,” Jaemin got your attention as you sat in your chair and stared at your screen. You spun your chair around to look at him, lifting your eyebrows in a silent question. “Who was that guy?”

Your blood turned cold. “Huh? Who? When? What guy?”

“Oh now that wasn’t suspicious,” he snorted. “The guy that was waiting for you at lunch whose ass you looked like you were about to kick.”

Oh God. Jaemin saw Sungchan. Who else saw him? You had to assume everybody. You stood up from your chair hastily, fully intent on running away. “Just—Nobody, it doesn’t matter.”

Jaemin gasped, then dropped his voice, “Y/N, you didn’t...”

“Didn’t what?” You squeaked, now ready to stick around. You had to know what he knew, which was obviously the truth.

“You totally did.” He shook his head, clicking his tongue. “Never a good idea, getting involved with people who are destined, even if they don’t have their string yet. Because one day they will.”

Of course. He thought, perfectly reasonably, that you had dated, slept with, done something with somebody who was going to get their red string someday, while you would remain without it forever. You swallowed down your sigh of relief, and instead crossed your arms over your chest, quickly switching trains of thought to follow this new cover story.

“And that’s what I told him, Jaemin, I swear,” you whispered insistently.

Your friend finished up and switched off his desktop then, giving you a frank look. “How many times, Y/N?”

“I told him like a hundred times—”

“No. You know what I mean.”

You hurried down the stairs, Jaemin right with you, rolling your eyes as you tried to think of a number that wasn’t excessive, but messy enough to possibly warrant a guy turning up at your work. “I don’t know... a few! A girl’s got needs, Jaemin!”

He chuckled and shook his head again, pushing the front door open for you. He turned suddenly, grabbing you by the shoulders and spinning you around to face the building with him, then gestured grandly up and down the entirety of The Soulmate Factory. “A whole ten floors to pick from, Y/N. No messy red strings to worry about after.”

“Yeah, just awkward encounters at work,” you scoffed.

“I heard Park Jisung on the second floor thinks you’re cute.”

“What is this? Middle school?” You elbowed him to get him off of you, ducking out from under his arm and taking off towards your bus stop at a speed walk.

He easily kept pace with you. “I’m just looking out for you. Rule Number 1 of dating with no soulmate: Stay away from people with one.”

“Uh-huh, noted,” you replied shortly. “You done?”

“Are you?”

“Yes! God!”

“Alright.” He was still grinning, clearly finding the whole scenario amusing overall. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Bye, Jaemin.”

A couple nights later found you rooting through the frozen section of a corner store. You’d gotten home from work after yet another day of getting nowhere with this stupid red string and had wanted nothing more than to wallow in misery with a pint of ice cream. Except you had none in your freezer, and your usual corner store was out of your favorite flavor, so you had to go to one several blocks over.

After paying for the ice cream and grabbing a plastic spoon from the available utensils, you hurried out of the shop. Turning sharply onto a side street to take a shortcut back to your apartment, you nearly tripped over somebody sitting on the sidewalk curb, their feet in the street. They were wearing a hoodie with the hood up, and you jumped back as you went to apologize. Then they looked at you over their shoulder, and you stopped your apologies, flabbergasted and a little pissed off at the universe at this point.

“Oh my god, again?” You stared at Sungchan, eyes bugging out of your head.

“Okay, ouch,” he retorted. He had his own pint of ice cream and plastic spoon in hand, about two-thirds of the way done.

“Sorry, I was just… I wanted to drown my sorrowsin ice cream alone.”

He turned away from you, resting his arms on his knees as he went back to looking down at the pavement. “Well, I’ve got dibs on this street corner for sadly eating ice cream.”

You winced. “Sungchan… I’m…”

Sorry? Was that it? Not for wanting to undo the string. Sorry that this all happened to him in the first place, and that he was now sadly eating ice cream by himself on a street corner? Absolutely. Even though you wanted to remove your red string that connected you two as soulmates, you still felt for the guy as a person, and you felt bad just leaving him here. In a different set of circumstances, you could see the two of you being friends. Against your better judgment, you sat down next to him on the curb, opening your pint of ice cream. He looked at you suspiciously out of the corner of his eye, and you caught a glimpse of his damp, bloodshot eyes in the light of the streetlamp above you two before he focused them back down on his own ice cream.

He shoveled a spoonful into his mouth before speaking again. “We’re going to keep running into each other, don’t you get that?”

“Yeah, I know, the string always gets tighter again. But I didn’t think our string would be like a fucking rubber band.” You shook your head, licking the lid of your container clean. “Honestly, this is kind of ridiculous.”

There was a moment of awkward silence as he ate another bite of ice cream.

“The computer doesn’t make mistakes.” He stated bluntly. “That’s what you said the second time we met. Do you actually think that? That what goes on in there is making soulmates? Finding them? Whatever.”

“I-I mean, yeah.” You carefully carved out your first spoonful from the pristine surface. “We do analytics and data gathering post-matching and… yeah, it works.”

He was quiet as you took your bite of ice cream into your mouth.

“Then we’re soulmates.”

You couldn’t swallow quickly enough, mind reeling at you tried to think of anything to say. “But my profile—”

“Whatever may have happened before the computer got our data doesn’t fucking matter, it still did all the same stuff that it does when giving you all the matches that you read,” Sungchan cut you off, and you saw a fresh tear catch the light as it rolled down his cheek. “And it figured that we were soulmates. But suddenly you’re doubting it? Suddenly it’s not right? What’s so fucking special about you?”

“I…”

“Has somebody’s profile even been through the computer twice? Ever? And you want to just stick me back in there. What if it rejects me because it already processed me once? What if I don’t get another match? What if it breaks the whole damn program? The whole fucking Factory?” He wasn’t yelling, but his voice was strong and hoarse at the same time, and you froze up as you felt the anger and hurt in him.

You didn’t have an answer for him. You always had an answer. You always knew, at work, when reading the matches, you just always knew, but you didn’t now. You had nothing, it was all blank, empty in your mind. You swallowed thickly, staring at him as he looked over at you furiously. White hot shame and guilt made your skin prickle.

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly.

Sungchan put his pint down on the pavement, then covered your hands with his. Even as you held onto your ice cream, you could feel that his skin was colder than yours. “I’m trying to understand you, Y/N, but this isn’t making any sense to me.”

“I thought I’d have a choice,” you told him shakily, slowly pulling your hands away. “I thought I’d be able to choose…”

He blinked, and his face twisted up with pain as he took his hands back. He grabbed his nearly empty carton, standing up and blotting out the lamp light as he towered over you.

“Trust me, you’ve got a choice. A big one.” He sighed bitterly, tossing his container in a nearby trash can. “I’ve said my piece. Goodnight.”

“Where are you going?” You called after him as he started down the sidewalk.

“Somewhere. When you’re ready, you know how to find me.” He lifted his left arm up and waved his hand, his end of the red string fluttering back and forth in the air with the movement.

You watched him continue to walk down the street, not slowing down or looking over his shoulder once. It was only when you could no longer see him that scalding tears welled up in your vision and stung your eyes. You didn’t bother wiping them away as they streamed down your face and fell onto your shirt, leaving dark patches in their wake. Despite the ice cream being your original intent for coming out, you suddenly didn’t have an appetite, burying your face in your arms to cry alone on the curb.

What’s so fucking special about you?

Sungchan’s words were still in the squeal of the bus brakes in the morning, and the hum of strangers’ conversations, and the shuffle of leaves as the wind shook tree branches. You stared at the grooves of the hardwood floor in the breakroom, hearing his voice in the gurgle of the coffee machine as it ran on the counter behind you. You didn’t even need your usual morning cup, still wide awake, as you had been all night. Fingers snapped in front of your eyes, and you lazily dragged your gaze up to the owner of the hand, Renjun.

“You look like shit,” he deadpanned.

You took a long, deep sigh, not even having enough in you to react to the comment as you usually would. “Do you ever think about your soulmate, Renjun?”

“Uh… no?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Because I don’t have one? Remember?”

“I know, Factory employees get taken out of the program. But doesn’t that mean that the computer is really working with incomplete data or whatever? Since it doesn’t actually have every single person in there?”

He crossed his arms over his chest as he seemed to think about this for a moment. “I guess.”

“If we were all in there, we’d get matched up with somebody. Our soulmate. We’re not all in there, but whoever we would be matched with still is. So they just… get their second-best match?”

“What is it that matchmaking lady always says? ‘The computer does more than we’ll ever know?’”

“Ms. Kwon?”

“Yeah, her.” He nodded, turning around to get his cereal down from the cabinet. He answered your question over his shoulder, “No, I’ve never thought about this, Y/N. But you have clearly been doing a lot of thinking about it.”

“Too much,” you groaned. “My head hurts.”

Your coworker’s voice was a bit softer as he offered, “You, me, and Jaemin—Drinks after work?”

After work you ended up on a rooftop bar with Jaemin and Renjun, nursing your second beer of the night as you stared out at the lights of the city. The two of them were chatting about some movie that was coming out this weekend that they were interested in, and all three of you had your feet kicked up on the ledge of the rooftop.

In a lull in their conversation, a finger poked your head from the left. “What’s wrong?” Jaemin asked.

You sighed. “It’s… ugh.”

Another finger poked the right side of your head. “Come on,” Renjun insisted. “You’ve been weird all week.”

You took a swig of your drink, then let out another deep sigh. “Why did you guys start working at the Factory?”

“What?” Renjun scoffed lightly, as if he couldn’t imagine why you’d even ask that.

“Why did you start working at the Factory?” You repeated. “I mean, accepting a life without a soulmate.”

“My parents met at the Factory, actually,” Jaemin said.

“Wait, really?” You turned to him curiously. You knew that Factory employees dating each other wasn’t off-limits, and theoretically that meant they could settle down and have lives sort of like soulmates, but you’d never heard much about it actually happening.

“Yeah, they weren’t soulmates. So it was one of those things where, I don’t know, I got to grow up knowing that there was another way to live.” Jaemin shrugged casually. “I didn’t even really think about the no-soulmate thing when I applied, they just always talked about how much they loved their jobs, it sounded like a cool place to work.”

“I applied at a bunch of different places, this is the first one that called me back,” Renjun gave his own answer.

“Why did you start working here?” Jaemin turned your question back on you.

You tapped your fingernail against the side of your bottle. “Pay’s not bad… And I didn’t… hate the idea of having a say in my love life, you know? Instead of this string showing up one day and telling me who I’m supposed to be with forever. Getting to choose on my own.”

“Sounds like you don’t think the computer knows what it’s doing,” Renjun snorted.

“No, it does! It does! I just… didn’t mind the idea of never knowing.”

Jaemin furrowed his brow curiously. “What do you mean?”

“Like… I can wake up tomorrow and have cereal, or eggs, or buy breakfast on my way into work. There could be someone new on my bus in the morning. I can get a haircut, or dye my hair. It could rain tomorrow, or be sunny, or overcast. Life is always in flux, always changing, new, different.”

“Knowing who your soulmate is, would be too… certain?”

“Some people like having that constant in their life,” Renjun pointed out. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“I don’t know, like what if you get your soulmate and they kind of suck? Then you kind of have to ask yourself what did you do to deserve someone who kind of sucks? Because that’s literally the best you can do,” you ranted, gesturing around to the night sky with your bottle. “At least without a string, there’s always a chance that there’s someone better out there.”

“Ah, you’ve got the Boy Scout mindset,” Jaemin said knowingly. “Just in case. Just in case it rains, I’ll bring an umbrella. Just in case whoever you’re seeing now kind of sucks, you can always try again.”

You crossed your arms defensively. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, since you don’t have a string.”

“Very polite way to say she has commitment issues, Jaemin,” Renjun snickered.

“Rude!” You smacked his arm with the back of your hand.

He wasn’t dissuaded by your minor battery, however. Bringing his two feet back down to the ground, he leaned his elbows forward on his knees and looked over at you, “Sounds like to me, you want infinite second chances. Just in case.”

“There’s only so many of us at the Factory, really,” Jaemin pointed out. “Wouldn’t a soulmate actually be infinite second chances? Since you know you’re destined to be with them, you can kind of mess up as often as you want?”

You frowned, thinking of Sungchan walking away from you. “You really think so? I mean, they’re still a person. Wouldn’t they stop putting up with you after so long? Even if they were your soulmate, I’m sure being alone would be better than having a shit soulmate.”

“Well, then you have to ask: What is a soulmate? Just the best you can do? Or someone who’s going to make you better? Is there such a thing as a shit soulmate?”

“There has to be, right? There’s bad people, and those people have soulmates.”

“Are they bad forever? Are they bad people to their soulmates? Or do they also have shit people for soulmates? So, relative to each other, they don’t even realize that they have a shit soulmate?”

“My head hurts again…” You groaned, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples.

A long silence passed as you three each finished off your beers. Renjun shrugged and leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grunt. “Thank God we’ll never know, huh?”

Your Saturday was spent walking. Walking all over town, from your apartment to your bus stop, to the park where Sungchan had been playing Frisbee before, to the corner store where you’d last seen him, and everywhere in between. You kept your head on a swivel, straining for any sign of his tall head over the crowd. But you couldn’t see him anywhere.

When you finally gave up mid-afternoon and went back to your apartment for a late lunch, you knew that you were actually relieved that you hadn’t found him today. If you had ran into him, you didn’t even know what you’d say, where to start, where to end, what to say in the middle. Your head was a jumbled mess, simultaneously too full and too empty. There was no way you’d be able to articulate a single comprehensible word when you yourself didn’t know a shred about anything that you were thinking or feeling.

Sunday you were kept busy with Sungchan’s lingering question. What’s so special about you?

In the moment, it felt like he was asking why you thought you were special enough to be exempt from something that everyone else experienced: getting a red string and finding their soulmate. But as you went about mindless chores in your apartment, doing the dishes, folding laundry, you thought about him.

What’s so special about Sungchan? What would make him your soulmate? And you wondered if he was asking himself the same questions about you.

Monday morning you almost missed your bus. You’d been so distracted going about your morning routine that you ran straight from your apartment building onto the bus, the doors closing right after you. The elderly couple was on today, and you plopped into your seat in front of them, offering them a breathless smile and greeting.

“Tough morning, dear?” The woman asked you knowingly.

“Oh, a bit,” you laughed. “Tough couple of weeks, honestly. But I’ll make it. What’s the new exhibit for this month?”

“It’s a contemporary artist who does large-scale mixed media collages,” the husband explained.

“That sounds so cool! Is there a particular theme for the collection on display or it more eclectic?”

“Oh, we don’t read up much before,” she said with a shake of her head. “We like to go in blind, no presuppositions or expectations, good or bad.”

You continued chatting about the museum with them until their stop to get off, and watched fondly as the man helped his wife up, the both of them bidding you farewell before departing. As the bus peeled away, you were able to glimpse them starting arm-in-arm down the sidewalk together.

After dropping your backpack in your chair, you headed towards the breakroom, where you found Jaemin hunched over something at a counter, his back to the door.

“Renjun’s cereal?” You surmised immediately.

He jumped in place, turning around clutching his chest. “Fuck! You scared the shit out of me, Y/N! Don’t sneak up on a guy like that!” He did in fact have a familiar box in his hand, clearly having been pouring some into a cup.

“I wasn’t sneaking. You just flipped out because you know you’re being a little cereal thief right now.”

He quickly closed up the box and put it away. “There. Like it never happened.”

“Why don’t you just bring your own box of cereal?”

“It just tastes better if it’s free.”

“Stolen.”

“Synonyms.” He grinned slyly, shooting you a wink as he walked out.

As you were milling about, trying to gather everything to start the first pot of coffee, Renjun entered, heading straight for where his cereal was stored. You watched out of the corner of your eye as he grabbed it, froze midair, and tested the weight of it in his hand.

“Na Jaemin…” He hissed, slamming the container onto the counter.

“Suggestion—” You announced, turning around to look at him with your arms crossed over your chest. “Keep the cereal at your desk instead of leaving it here unattended where he steals it all the time.”

“I never keep food at my desk. What if it attracts ants?”

“Padlock.”

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You may be onto something there…”

Renjun wandered out of the room, still musing over this with the cereal box tucked under his arm. You realized you didn’t really want a cup of coffee and put the empty coffee mug away.

The weekly agenda meeting was short and sweet, and you were slow to follow the other matchmakers down the hall after. You were the very last one to swipe in, and to take your seat at your station. Everyone else was already reading their matches, but you just stared at your blank screen, not even turning it on yet. At some point, two weeks ago, someone in this room, one of your coworkers—or maybe even you—had read a match result, looked up a bunch of numbers, and submitted a match report that had changed your life forever. You listened to them clacking away at their keyboards, dozens more strangers’ lives being irreparably altered like yours was.

“Y/N?” Your name was called from across the room, and you whipped your head around to look over at Ms. Kwon, standing in the doorway of her office. She gestured for you to come over. “A moment?”

“Oh, of course, ma’am.” You rushed to stand, hurrying up the stairs and following her into her office.

She closed the door behind you, sitting back down behind her desk, and offering the chairs across from her for you. You nervously took the one closest to the door.

“Is everything alright with you?” Your supervisor asked gently. “You’ve been sitting at your station for the past fifteen minutes and haven’t turned the screen on…”

“Sorry…” You winced, self-conscious as you pictured Ms. Kwon watching you stare at a blank screen for fifteen minutes. “I’m uhm… I…”

“Have something on your mind?”

“It’s worth it, right? Giving up your soulmate to work here?”

Ms. Kwon took your question in stride, folding her hands together over her desk as she answered, “It’s good work that we do here, Y/N, don’t get me wrong. Necessary. But choosing to live without a soulmate, that’s not a noble sacrifice on our part. We’re not any better than anybody else because we choose to work here and they don’t. I don’t know a single executive here who would talk about it like that.”

You could feel all façades slip off your face, your eyes widening slightly and your mouth parting, though no sound came out.

At your apparent speechlessness, Ms. Kwon continued, “We’re not... monks or nuns taking some holy vow, Y/N. It’s morally neutral. Neither good nor bad. It just is.”

A split-second of rage burst inside you. “Then why would any of you choose it? Why would anybody go without a soulmate?”

“Why did you?” She asked you calmly.

“I... was afraid to know,” you admitted quietly.

“Everyone here is sort of like that. They have some other reason. It’s usually not a good one, but they never have to confront it. Ever.”

“So the Factory... is the easy way out?”

“Y/N, listen to the words I’m telling you: It is neither good nor bad to choose to work here. It just is.”

“Is it good to have your soulmate, then?”

“I am not the arbiter of good or bad in your life. I’m just your boss,” she replied, sounding a bit tired now. “Look, you’re very smart. That’s why you were chosen for matchmaking. But I’m urging you to stop this line of thinking here. This is how you end up—”

“I’m resigning,” you declared, and suddenly all of the noise in your mind was quiet.

“That is what I was afraid of,” she sighed. “May I ask why?”

“I… have a soulmate.”

“Of course you do.” Ms. Kwon smiled placidly. “All of us at the Factory do. But quitting now will not put your profile back in to get matched with them.”

“No, I—I was matched. Somehow, I don’t know how, but… I have a red string, Ms. Kwon.” You held up your right hand, pointing to your pinky, even though you knew she couldn’t see it. You couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden lightness of your shoulders. “I have a soulmate, and… this is just a job. It’s a good job, and I love it. But there’s other jobs. I don’t have another soulmate.”

She was quiet for a moment, simply looking at you intensely. After a moment, she reached out to hover her hands over her keyboard. “Would you mind if I took just a moment to confirm? It’ll take less than a minute.”

“Sure, go for it.”

Ms. Kwon quickly typed away and clicked a few things on her mouse as you quite literally twiddled your thumbs over your lap. Just a few seconds later, she took her glasses off, rubbing between her brows as she let out a deep sigh. “So it seems you have been…” She sat back in her chair. “Have you… found them?”

“Uhm, yes, ma’am,” you nodded awkwardly.

“This is why you were so interested in undoing matches as of late, I presume.”

“Yes… but not anymore.”

She sat there for a few more moments, eyes closed, before putting her glasses back on and sitting up straight again. “I accept your resignation, Y/N. With a heavy heart, might I add.”

“That means a lot, Ms. Kwon.”

“There will need to be an investigation.”

“I figured.”

“I expect full cooperation from both you and your soulmate.”

“Oh, uh, sure, sure.”

Ms. Kwon looked at you oddly. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“We’re not… exactly… friendly… right now…” You admitted quietly. “And it’s completely my fault…”

She let out a few soft, wistful chuckles. “He didn’t take too kindly to you attempting to ‘undo’ your string, did he?”

“No, he didn’t.” You shook your head, biting the inside of your cheek regretfully.

“The string will tighten again, Y/N,” she reassured you, her voice kind. “The computer doesn’t make mistakes.”

“Right. Thank you, Ms. Kwon.”

She cleared her throat, becoming formal and businesslike again. “Provided the investigation turns up exactly what I think it will, I’ll also write an excellent reference letter for you, if you would like.”

“What do you think the investigation will turn up?”

“A mistake. Something was misfiled. A paper was put in the wrong stack. A name left off an email. I don’t think you tampered with the program somehow to put yourself back in. Did you?”

“No, ma’am, not at all.”

“There we go.” She shrugged. “Do you have anything else for me?”

“I get my severance pay and all that, right?”

“Of course.”

You stood up, set your key card on the desk, and shook her hand before leaving her office, walking right out of the matchmaking room as the others kept at it at their stations. Making a beeline for your desk, you could see several heads of your coworkers popping up to peer at you curiously before looking back down at their computers. One remained up and focused intently on you from further down your row, Renjun.

As you stopped next to Jaemin and opened your backpack at your desk, he took his headphones off to turn to you. “Uh hey…?”

“Hi,” you replied cheerily, beginning to grab personal possessions off your desk and load them into your bag.

“What are you doing?”

At this point, Renjun had stood up from his desk and stalked over to you two, eyes wide as he took in what you were doing. “What’s going on?”

“I quit!” You informed them, not being particularly quiet about it.

“What?!” “Seriously?!”

“Seriously,” you confirmed, unplugging the receiver for your personal wireless mouse, and putting it back inside said mouse, before chucking the whole thing into your bag. “Resigned. Quit. Handed in my zero day notice.”

“Why? I thought you loved this job!” Renjun sputtered out, his hands on his hips.

“Yeah! Like, I thought you were going to be Director one day!” Jaemin nodded. “What happened?”

You looked around the wide-open bullpen, still having enough tact to not want to blab about your string in front of everybody. Zipping up your backpack and throwing one strap over your shoulder, you asked your friends innocently, “Walk me out?”

They practically dragged you down the stairs, flanking you on either side, none of you saying a word until you were outside.

“What’s going on?” Renjun demanded as soon as the front doors closed behind you. “Is it something we need to know about? Should we be looking for other jobs?”

“Did you ask for a raise or something and they wouldn’t give it to you?” Jaemin asked. “Or a promotion? Or—”

“No, it’s nothing like that. You guys are fine,” you promised them, lacing your two hands together in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you admitted, “I have a red string, and I found my soulmate.”

Their jaws dropped, and they looked at each other, flabbergasted, then at you, then each other again, then stared at you. Renjun was the first to shake himself out of his stupefied state, “How did that even—”

“I don’t know, and I don’t know how much I can even say until the Factory finishes their investigation, so…” You trailed off. “Yeah, that’s why I quit. And Ms. Kwon didn’t ask me to stay.”

Jaemin’s eyes widened comically as he pointed at you accusatorily. “The guy at lunch, was he your—”

“Yeah, that was him.” You rubbed the back of your neck nervously. “Anyway, you guys can’t say anything to anybody else at the Factory, okay? Just let management handle this however they want to. Keep your noses out of it.”

“So what are you going to do now?” Renjun asked.

“Uh… try to find him? Again?” You said sheepishly.

“You lost him?” Jaemin asked in disbelief. “Like, in a well or something? How? What?”

“We kind of had a fight… Let’s just say the ball’s in my court, and I don’t know how to play.”

He patted you on the back. “You’ve got this, Y/N.”

“Thanks,” you nodded to him gratefully. “I should let you two get back to work now. Thank you both, again, for being the best work buddies a girl could ask for.”

“Hey, don’t talk like you’re going off and dying,” Renjun scoffed, poking the right side of your head.

“Yeah, we’re your real buddies, too.” Jaemin poked the left side of your head. “I still owe you your book.”

“You two have got to make sure you don’t kill each other over cereal in the mornings on your own now. I won’t be there to referee,” you warned as you took a step back, facing them.

“As long as Jaemin keeps his grubby mitts to himself, no problem.” Renjun nodded.

Jaemin grinned. “No promises.”

You laughed, going in to give each of them a hug. “Bye, guys. I’ll see you around.”

And you proceeded to walk. From the riverside park near the Factory, to the curb where you’d eaten ice cream together, to your favorite bookstore. You walked until your feet ached and your stomach growled, and even after that. You found new parts of the city that you’d never seen, never had any reason to go to before. As you came up to a street of small shops, you peered into each window carefully as you passed by. Your feet skidded to a stop all on their own and your heart leapt to your throat as you inadvertently made eye contact with a patron right on the other side of the glass of one store. The exact person you’d been looking for.

While Sungchan froze in place, you ran for the entrance to the shop, throwing open the door and ducking around shelves and displays to find him still glued to the same spot, staring out the window at the pavement where you used to be. You grabbed his left hand with your right, watching the string complete itself, and pulled him around to face you.

“Sungchan!” You said his name breathlessly, a relieved smile on your face. “Found you!”

“Y/N…” His voice was guarded, uncertain, gaze trailing over your red jumpsuit that you were still in. “Are you… on your lunch break?”

“No, I uh, I resigned this morning,” you told him, not an ounce of remorse in your tone.

His eyes widened, and his demeanor immediately changed as he looked down at you with concern. “What? You didn’t have to—Y/N, what happened? Oh my god, what are you going to do?”

A throat was very conspicuously cleared from nearby, and you snapped your head over in the direction of it, spotting a group of several guys leaning against shelves further down the store, a few trying to look busy and not like they had just been listening to your conversation. One stood at the front of them, looking directly at Sungchan.

“Oh, sorry, guys,” Sungchan waved them off. “Go on without me, okay?”

And with that, he set down the merchandise he had been browsing—which you were now seeing was a stack of old magazines; it looked as though you were in a thrift store of some kind—and pulled you out the door by the hand. Just a little ways down the street was a bench overlooking the river, and the two of you stopped there.

“I wouldn’t have been able to keep working there with a red string, Sungchan,” you explained. “If I didn’t resign, I would’ve been fired whenever they found out. I wanted to tell them myself.”

He frowned. “When I said you had a choice…”

“I chose to keep the string, and stop looking for a way to undo it. I know that’s what you were asking me.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask…” he sighed. “What made you change your mind?”

“A lot of different things, but… I think realizing that I’m not that special.”

“Y/N, I—”

“No, I mean, I kind of had this complex about working at the Factory. Thinking that it was some sacrifice for the greater good, me giving up my soulmate so I could help other people find theirs. But like… it was just a job.” You laughed at how ridiculous that sounded now, even just a few hours after resigning.

Sungchan smiled a little at that, but still looked pensive. “So what are you going to do for work now?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly, but couldn’t keep the giddy grin off your face. “That’s really scary… but it’s kind of exciting, in a weird way, right? I’ve had the same job since I got out of school, and now I can do anything.”

“We’ll find you a job. That’s like, Priority One, okay?” He reassured you. “We’ll do some brainstorming, find some job listings, we’ll figure something out.”

“We?”

“Yeah?” He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m not leaving you out to dry after all this.”

“Thanks, Sungchan.” You fidgeted with your fingers, eyes gracing over the finished red string again. “And uh, if that’s Priority One, then Priority Two is probably going to have to be the investigation.”

“The what?”

“The Bureau has to investigate how this even happened, our match. Me resigning was just the beginning, not the end. They’re expecting our full cooperation.”

“What are we going to have to cooperate with, exactly?” He crossed his arms.

“They’ll probably just want to ask us some questions. Me more than you, since I’m the one who actually worked there. Ms. Kwon—my old boss—made it sound like it’d be more a formality than anything else. I’m sure they’re already auditing all my match reports for the past two years, and looking through my key card log, and going through my computer as we speak.”

“Alright, yeah. Fine.”

With his agreement, the two of you were quiet for a moment, and you felt an air of uncertainty. You’d found each other, you were soulmates, you weren’t trying to undo your string anymore, and yet you were still practically strangers. Where did you go from here?

“So… what’s your favorite color?” You asked.

“What?” He blinked, seeming confused at the sudden change in topic.

“I don’t know anything about you…” You said quietly, feeling your skin get warm with embarrassment. “I don’t know, that’s just the first thing that came to mind. Forget it, it was stupid.”

He chuckled and answered anyway, “Purple. My favorite color is purple.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“What’s yours?”

“Pink. Uh, cotton candy pink, specifically.”

“That’s good. That’s really good.” He was still laughing, more than your awkward question warranted.

“Okay, what’s so funny? Other than me being stupid.”

“No, I’m not laughing at you, it’s just…” He reassured you, trailing off as he seemed to be trying to put his thoughts together. “There’re all these books, and magazine articles and stuff, you know. 15 Things to Not Do When You Meet Your Soulmate. 10 Best Opening Lines for Meeting the One. I Met My Soulmate and It’s Awkward: Now What? How to Get Over First Meeting Flutters. And you’re nothing like that. You’ve probably never even read anything of that sort of stuff, have you?”

“No…” You shook your head, then squinted at him suspiciously. “Have you?”

He held his hands up defensively. “Well, call it morbid curiosity—”

You couldn’t help but giggle, attempting to cover it with your hand, having the perfect image of him lying on his bed on his stomach, legs kicking up behind him as he scrolled on his phone late at night reading cheesy internet columns about love.

“And that’s funny, yeah, okay. I didn’t fool you with the… yeah.” Sungchan laughed again, this time at himself, and you were quickly starting to think that it might be your favorite sound.

“It’s cute, it’s cute!” You promised. “I’m uhm, sure me running away really threw a wrench in whatever great opening line you had planned.”

“Yes and no.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You were really pretty, and when I looked at you, I suddenly forgot every word I knew. And then you ran away, and I was just confused at how I had messed it up before opening my mouth.”

Your body burned on the inside and outside twofold from him simultaneously saying you were so pretty it made him speechless, and also the shame at how stupendously you had fucked up your first meeting. You squeezed your eyes shut, covered your face with both hands, and shook your head as you groaned out an apology, “Oh god, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, really— Helped snap me out of it, you know?” He chuckled, and you were glad he could at least see some humor in it now. “Looking back now, completely understandable for you to do that. Sorry again for chasing you through the streets, I’m sure that didn’t help.”

“Also understandable on your part,” you said. Before you could scramble for another thing to ask Sungchan, your stomach rumbled loudly, and you cringed, knowing full well that he had definitely been able to hear that. “Sorry…”

“I was supposed to grab food with the guys anyway.” Sungchan stood up. “Let’s get you something to eat, hm?”

You followed him to a small café a couple streets away, and after grabbing your food, you two sat at a table outside. “So what do you do? For work? Or are you a student? You know quite a bit about my old job, but…”

“Oh, I’m an artist.”

“What kind? Like, what medium? Is that the right way to ask that? I guess I’m asking what kind of stuff you make?”

“Don’t worry, those were all good questions. Different questions, but good.” He smiled warmly, taking a sip of his drink before answering. “I mostly focus on making mixed media collages. Sometimes I source my materials from other places, but sometimes I make it myself. Take my own pictures, paint it myself, put the clay on myself. Just depends. So I work with a lot of different materials and mediums, too.”

“Oh!” You immediately thought of the couple you talked to on the bus that morning. “You should totally check out the art museum on 2nd this month! I heard they have an exhibit showcasing mixed media collages. I haven’t been, but there’s this couple on my bus in the mornings who goes every month, they told me about it today.”

“Did they say the artist?” He asked mildly, picking at his food with his utensil.

“No, they don’t do any research before, they like to go in blind.”

“Yeah, uhm, that’s my exhibit,” he practically whispered the last two words behind a napkin as he wiped his mouth with it, looking down at his plate. His ears were bright red, and he grabbed his drink to take another long sip.

Your eyes widened. “Wait really?”

“I understand if you think I’m lying, it’s on the exhibit webpage on the museum website, but yeah…”

“Sungchan, that’s so cool!” You exclaimed, even as you brought out your phone to bring up the website. Not because you didn’t believe him, but just because reading the headline of how the museum was proud to feature ‘New Local Artist Jung Sungchan’ in an exclusive exhibit was practically surreal. He, however, still couldn’t seem to meet your eyes. “Why do you look like you want to die?”

“I didn’t want to use my real name, but my… manager thought it would be a good idea. And obviously I had to tell you.” He rubbed a hand over his face, making everything from his forehead to his neck pink. “I just hate people looking at my art and thinking they know me. They can look at my art all I want, project onto it, feel from it, call it stupid, say they could have done better, I don’t care, I just don’t want them to know it’s mine and think they know me because of it.”

“Who’s your manager that made you use your real name? Don’t artists use pseudonyms sometimes?”

“My sister’s husband. He’s good at his job, and he’s done a lot for me. I’m really thankful for him, honestly. It was more like when I was first starting out, he thought that using a pseudonym would make me seem sort of pretentious. People would like a regular guy a lot more.” Sungchan sighed. “I agreed, and have regretted that decision with every art show I’ve attended since.”

You nodded slowly, tapping your fingers on the tabletop in a rhythm as you thought. “So… why do you think you make art, then?”

“I have to,” he shrugged. “Not making art would be worse. People connecting with my art… I like that. But I don’t like when they try to assume things about me because of my art. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it does,” you assured him. “Death of the collagist.”

His face cracked into a grin. “Exactly.”

“Would you mind if I went to your exhibit sometime?” You asked. “You totally don’t have to come, I’m sure that’d be weird for you. But I’d like to go see it, and not make any assumptions about you at all.”

“It’s a public museum, I can’t stop you from going.”

“Well, yes… I don’t know, it’s still your art, and I’m not just a member of the public, am I?”

Sungchan’s eyes held a softness as he looked at you across the table, and he shook his head. “No, you’re not just a member of the public to me.”

“And you’re not just some random artist to me,” you responded.

“I wouldn’t mind if you went, on one condition.”

“Mm?” You prompted, expecting it to be something along the lines of ‘don’t tell me what you think’ or ‘don’t ever mention it to me.’ Nothing at all in the realm of what he actually requested.

“I go with you.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Wait really?”

“Really.”

“Okay, yeah, of course!”

“Then it’s a date.”

You nodded, suddenly feeling shy at him calling it a date, turning your eyes back down to your food. “Yeah, okay. A date.”

You ended up spending the whole day with Sungchan, just getting to know each other. And browsing online job listings for you—turns out he wasn’t kidding about that being Priority One.

He used revising your résumé as an opportunity to learn more about you. Education—Oh where did you go to school? What did you study? Which devolved into you two telling stories about classes you liked, professors and teachers you loved and hated, and old school friends. Work Experience—So what actually was your official title? What were your job responsibilities? Which led to you fondly reminiscing in your times at the office with Jaemin and Renjun, talking about your training to be a Systems Analytics Specialist, and his disbelief in how exactly you even did your job. It was when you got to the Skills portion that you balked a little bit. It felt like your only skills were specific to the Factory: reading the matches from the computer, inputting match reports, keeping Renjun from killing Jaemin over a box of cereal. Sungchan helped you get a bit creative with your technological experience, creative thinking, quick learning, and conflict resolution skills.

As he walked you back to your apartment after getting dinner together, you were still asking him your never-ending stream of questions. “So what were you supposed to be doing with your friends today?”

“I was collecting.” He craned his neck up, and you followed his line of vision to look up at the few specks of light in the sky that you could see against the brightness of the city. “Gathering materials for collages. Thrift stores are pretty good for old magazines, books, newspapers, photo albums, all kinds of stuff. The guys were tagging along, they wanted to get lunch and do some shopping too.”

“Oh. Sorry for taking you away from them.”

He gave you a funny look. “No.”

“What?”

“No, you’re not going to apologize for that.”

You blinked at him in confusion. “Uh… I think I already did?”

He stopped you two in the middle of the sidewalk, devoid of other pedestrians, holding your eye contact very seriously. “Thank you for finding me today.”

“Oh,” you chuckled nervously. “You’re welcome. Thank you for… everything else about today. The look on your face when I found you—I was sort of afraid that you were going to run this time.”

He laughed, continuing to walk again. “Did I really look like that?”

“Through the window, yeah. When I came in the shop, though, it was more like… you thought you were dreaming. Like you were going to pinch yourself at any moment, just in case. Or you thought I was pranking you.”

“Well, you’ll have to understand why I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high; all our previous meetings didn’t quite have fairytale endings.”

“No, they didn’t,” you agreed.

“But this time felt different. So I let myself be a little hopeful,” he admitted with a grin, nudging your arm with his. “And I was right.”

“How’d you figure that?”

“You didn’t act like finding me was a terrible inconvenience, first.”

You winced. “Mm-mhm.”

“And the smile on your face when you ran in and grabbed my hand.”

“What about it?”

“I’d never seen you smile before that.” He then added a teasing, “I didn’t know if you could.”

“Hey! I wasn’t that bad.”

He snickered, affectionately bumping his elbow against yours again. You rolled your eyes, smiling as you elbowed him back. You arrived at the main entry to your building soon, and you stopped there to say goodbye to Sungchan. He looked between the door that you were standing in front of, and the familiar bus stop just a few meters down the road, well within view.

“Oh wow, it must have really freaked you out when I jogged by your stop, huh?” He commented, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, you can imagine the ‘ready to fistfight the divine universe’ energy I had in my body at that point.”

He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Pretty sure I witnessed some of it, too.”

You looked longingly at the bus stop, holding yourself, and sighed. “It’s going to be weird not getting up and going to work tomorrow.”

“So what are you going to do tomorrow? With no work?”

You passed a bubble side to side in your mouth as you thought, then shrugged. “Sleep in?”

“Great way to start the day.”

“And then… send my résumé to some of those places we found?”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Probably read outside somewhere if it’s a nice day?”

“Ooh, sounds nice.”

You dug your toe into the ground. “I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“Sleep in, and I promised Shotaro I’d help him with this thing, but then… if you don’t mind the company, I think reading outside sounds pretty lovely?”

“What are you helping Shotaro with?”

“Taking Instagram pictures.”

You let out a short round of giggles. “I’d like to spend time with you tomorrow too, Sungchan. Just let me know when you’re done helping Shotaro with that thing.”

“It’ll be the quickest photoshoot he’s ever done in his life.”

“No, still do it right!”

“It’ll be right, just quick.”

You shook your head disapprovingly, but the fond smile on your face very obviously negated that sentiment. “Goodnight, Sungchan.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

And with that, you unlocked your building door and gave him one last wave over your shoulder before closing and locking it back up behind you. Alone in the stairwell, you let out a sigh of contentment.

The next morning, you slept in on a Tuesday for the first time in a while and didn’t put on your red jumpsuit after getting out of bed. Instead, you shuffled out to your kitchen and made yourself breakfast, which you slowly enjoyed with a cup of tea. After taking your sweet time in a nice hot shower, you got into a t-shirt and pants, and sat on your couch to start sending in applications to new jobs. As you typed on your laptop, you’d catch the occasional flash of the red loop around your pinky finger, but instead of filling you with you dread or apprehension, it now made you smile a bit, and push on with your task, knowing you had someone right there in your corner just on the other end of that string. After a couple hours of filling out applications, searching through more prospective job listings, and finding a few new ones that had been posted since you and Sungchan looked yesterday, you deemed that to be plenty for your first morning of job hunting. It was nearly lunchtime, and you hadn’t left your apartment yet. Looking outside, you saw that it was sunny, with a few passing clouds creating occasional patches of shadow, and breezes gently rustled the leaves on the trees. A perfectly lovely day.

Gathering up a couple books, you packed a light going-out bag, then headed out. As you passed your bus stop, you thought of the regulars on your morning commute, and wondered if they noticed your disappearance this morning, and if they thought anything of it, like you thought of the primary school teacher sometimes. You hoped the sisters got to school okay, and that the elderly couple liked Sungchan’s exhibit, and even that the office workers who you had never spoken to had good days at work—not too terribly stressful. As you had just arrived at your destination and picked out the perfect spot to read, your phone buzzed with a text.

[sungchan: done! with a satisfied customer, might i add]

[you: oh good! i’m done with my applications for the morning too! out reading right now]

You sent your location, then took your book out as there was another buzz.

[sungchan: omw :) ]

You were so caught up in the chapter you were reading that you didn’t realize Sungchan had arrived until he set his bag down next to you. You jumped a little bit, closing the book on your thumb as you clutched your hand over your heart, which was now beating wildly out of rhythm.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to give you a scare.” Sungchan didn’t look that sorry, as he had a clearly amused smirk on his face as he looked down at you. “I did call your name.”

“It’s alright, sorry I didn’t hear you.” You waved off his apology, then nodded to the spot beside you for him to sit down. “Lovely day out, huh?”

“It is,” he agreed, stretching out his long legs as he settled in against the large tree trunk. He reached into his bag, and you looked with intrigue at what book he was going to read for today.

You perked up with interest as you recognized the cover immediately. “Oh, I’ve been wanting to read that book! I love that author. Just haven’t picked it up yet.”

“Yeah it uhm—” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “It was the book you were looking at when we met. The one you dropped.”

“You…”

“I didn’t know how long it was going to be until the next time I saw you, so I went back and bought it. You know, sort of hoping I could learn something about you in the meantime.”

“And in the meantime, I was scheming to undo our string…” You muttered, eyes falling to your lap.

“Which you, no offense, failed at,” he clicked his tongue and elbowed you teasingly. “I’ll speedread so you can borrow it after me, okay?”

“No, read it right! That author’s so good, you’ll miss stuff!”

“I’ll read it carefully! Just also super fast.”

“Those are literally antonyms when it comes to reading!” You insisted.

“You’ve never seen me speedread then.”

You smacked your open book over your face, despite knowing that he was joking. “Oh my god…”

Two weeks later, and you and Sungchan were going to The Soulmate Factory for your interviews. You were sort of surprised it had taken them this long to talk to you, but at the same time, that it was happening this quickly. It felt weird going to the Factory not in your jumpsuit, but you knew that would’ve been possibly the worst choice. So you instead put on something nice, presentable, but not overly formal. After all, it wasn’t your job interview again. Sungchan was wearing a button-up shirt, a stark contrast to the rather casual attire you’d always seen him in before. As the two of you entered the lobby of the Factory, you could see him looking around at everything with an air of suspicion.

You stopped at the front desk, giving the attendant a polite smile and starting to introduce yourself, despite having just been colleagues a few weeks ago, “Hi, uhm Y/L/N Y/N and Jung Sungchan, here for a 9:00 appointment with Ms. Kwon?”

“Of course,” she nodded, looking between you and Sungchan with a strained smile of her own. “You… two can have a seat. I’ll let her know you’re here.”

Leading Sungchan over to sit on a settee nearby, you looked around, taking a few deep breaths as your knee bounced up and down nervously on its own. You had gotten the two of you here fifteen minutes early, so you already knew that you’d be waiting for some time.

“Why did she say it like that?” He hissed to you under his breath.

“Say what?” You whispered back, looking at her out of the corner of your eye to see if she was listening, but it looked like she was taking an incoming call.

“You two can have a seat.” He repeated snidely. “And the way she looked at us? Looked at you? Like we’re the weird ones for being soulmates?”

“I told you, Sungchan, there’s a reason Bureau employees don’t get soulmates. People will think I rigged it somehow. Even other employees.”

“You said it was impossible for you to have messed with it. Shouldn’t they of all people know that?”

“Well, with me being a matchmaker…” You tried to think of how to succinctly sum this up without telling Sungchan too much stuff that he wasn’t supposed to know right before his interview. “Even other Bureau employees don’t know what goes on in the matchmaking room. I’m sure there’s been rumors since I’ve left.”

“But you didn’t do anything. What’s the point of working here if you’re just as bad as the people who don’t?”

“They also probably think that when this gets out I’m going to give the Bureau and the employees here a bad rep, make the public distrust them for a while. Even the employees that don’t think I did anything will probably hate me at least a little for that.”

“Well I still don’t like it,” he huffed, resting an arm along the back of the furniture behind you.

“You’re allowed to not like it. I’m just saying there’s not much we can do about it.”

He proceeded to focus his hater energy on making comments about the décor being tacky, and you couldn’t help but giggle quietly and join in. You never really thought about it much before, but being called The Soulmate Factory and having a color palette of red, pink, and white was a bit much. You two also had a small game of how many “subtle” red lines you could find in the designs of decorative throw pillows, rugs, carpeting, and pieces of abstract art on the walls. Finally, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and looked up to see a somewhat familiar face. It wasn’t Ms. Kwon, as you had hoped for, but Lee Jeno, one of the executive assistants that you often saw when he was sent down from the ninth floor on important errands by his bosses.

“Jung Sungchan?” He called, looking directly at Sungchan.

“Yeah, that’s me.” He lifted his hand that had been resting on his leg between pointing out tacky décor. He ushered you up with him with the hand that was behind you on the couch. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

“Sorry, just Mr. Jung right now,” Jeno clarified with a slight wince.

Sungchan looked like he was about to argue, but you patted his arm reassuringly. “It’ll be fine, Sungchan. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

He sighed, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Alright, fine. I’ll be back soon.”

“Be good.”

“Always am.”

You watched him follow Jeno up the stairs, Sungchan casting you one last glance over his shoulder before the two of them fully disappeared from your view. It was then that you finally sat back down, and started chewing on your thumbnail.

Only fifteen minutes later Jeno came back down the stairs. Alone. “Y/N?” He addressed you more casually.

You stood up and didn’t hide the concern on your face as you looked around behind him. “Where’s Sungchan?”

“Mr. Jung has been moved to another waiting room. You’ll see him after your interview.”

Letting out a breath, you tried really hard not to shoot the messenger as you responded. “Fine. Lead the way, Jeno.”

The fact that you were going up the stairs and not to the elevator was interesting. You must not be going to his bosses’ floor, unless they wanted you to collapse on your way there.

“It’s good to see you again, by the way,” your former coworker said quietly. “I had to hand-deliver a memo to Ms. Kwon the other day and the matchmaking room was weirdly empty without you at your station.”

“Thanks.” A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. “I wouldn’t have even noticed your presence if I was there but… it’s nice to know that someone noticed my absence.”

“Well, we did our intro training together. You don’t forget those people.”

“No, you don’t,” you agreed. “Us, Jaemin, Renjun, Donghyuck in Budgeting.”

“Is it nice? Your life now? Don’t tell me anything specific, I can’t know.”

You laughed. “I haven’t lived much of it, honestly. I’ve only been gone a few weeks.”

“That’s true. There’s just been so much that’s happened, it feels like a lifetime.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“But has it been good at least? Overall, you think?”

“Yeah, it’s good, Jeno. He’s good.”

“Of course he is. The computer never makes mistakes.” And with that, the two of you stopped in front of a conference room on the second floor. He nodded politely to you. “This is where I leave you. If I don’t see you again, I wish you the best, Y/N. With everything.”

“Thank you. Bye, Jeno.” You smiled at him, knocking on the door as he pivoted on his heel and walked down the hall.

“Come in.” Came a familiar voice from within. Opening the door, you saw two figures stand up from the small conference table. Ms. Kwon, and a man who wasn’t familiar to you at all.

“Y/N, hello,” Ms. Kwon nodded to you. She didn’t even let you open your mouth to greet her back, gesturing to the man with her. “I’m not sure if you ever had the pleasure to meet AD Yang of Risk Management while you were here.”

And in one curt sentence, she had told you everything you needed to know about the situation: This was the assistant director of the risk management department at the Bureau, aka the legal department, which meant that this was serious serious, this would not be some quick interview to check off boxes, and she had only been let in because of her job title and as a professional courtesy to her, she wouldn’t be in control of the processions. But most importantly—she was on your side, for whatever that was worth. And honestly, it was worth a lot to keeping your composure as you turned to face the man.

AD Yang was deceptively young, you wouldn’t have pinned him as being as high up in the Bureau as he was just by looking at him. He only looked to be maybe ten years older than you, not a touch of grey in his pristine black hair, and only a hint of the beginning of worry lines on his forehead. He wore a suit, as all Bureau Executives did—it was only the lower level workers like you who wore the red jumpsuits—though his looked just a little too big on him, and his red tie was a little loose and slightly crooked, as if he still hadn’t mastered tying it yet. Both these things only aided in making him look younger and inexperienced. But the air of caution Ms. Kwon had about the whole situation immediately let you know not to underestimate him. You were thinking maybe his dress choices were intentional, so people would do exactly that, let their guards down around him.

AD Yang offered you a practically boyish smile as he held out his hand across the table, which your former supervisor hadn’t even done. You gingerly shook it as he introduced himself. “Please, just Mr. Yang is fine. Ms. Kwon is always so formal, you know. And I’ll call you Ms. Y/L/N, so we’re all on the same level here.”

You nodded.

“I don’t think we ever did have the pleasure to meet, Ms. Y/L/N,” Mr. Yang kept talking, his tone conversational. He then said as if it were a joke, “People usually only see me when they’re in serious trouble, you know?” He laughed, the only one to, then reassured you, “That isn’t what’s happening here, don’t worry. We’re just going to ask you a few questions, then you and Mr. Jung can head on out and off to your new life together, okay?”

You nodded.

“So, why don’t we sit, hm?”

The three of you took your seats, the two of them on one side of the conference table, you on the other. Mr. Yang took a moment to shuffle his papers, then smacked his hand to his forehead as if he’d suddenly remembered something. “I’m sorry, would you like some water, Ms. Y/L/N?”

“No, thank you.”

“Alright, let’s get started then.” He reached for a small device in the middle of the table. “I’ll be needing to record this conversation. Is that alright, Ms. Y/L/N?”

“Sure, yeah.” Not like you could really say no.

“Great.” His boyish smile disappeared as soon as the recorder clicked on. He started by listing off the date and time, then addressed you. “This is AD Robert Yang, interviewing Ms. Y/L/N Y/N. Also present is Ms. Kwon Siyeon, Supervisor of Systems Analysis and Reporting. Ms. Y/L/N, you are aware that I’m recording this conversation, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Yes.”

“A few formalities before we begin: Since I have the recording going, I ask that you let me finish my question before you answer, even if you think you know what I’m going to ask. Cross-chatter is a bit difficult to parse out when you have to listen back to it.”

“Okay.”

��I also want you to answer everything aloud. No nodding or shaking your head, or ‘uh-huh’ or ‘nuh-unh.’” He showed the motions as he did them, and you could tell he had done this spiel many times before. “The non-verbal cues don’t translate great in an audio format.”

“Will do.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat, clicked his pen a couple of times, then looked up at you to begin with his first question. “Now, can you tell me how long you worked at The Bureau of Interpersonal Affairs prior to your resignation?”

“About five years.”

“Do you remember when your first day was?”

“Of training or on my own?”

“Training. After being hired.”

“Probably… spring five years ago. May, after I graduated.”

“Okay, good, good. And so you were hired, did your six months of standard training, right?”

“Right.”

“Then what happened?”

“I did more training to be a Systems Analytics Specialist.”

“How much?”

“Two and a half years.”

“So three years of training total, then you got to start on your own as a… Systems Analytics Specialist.”

“Yes.”

“I believe the other name for that position is matchmaker, correct?”

You bit down on your tongue to keep back an eyeroll. All of you in this room had to be aware that he was feigning ignorance right now. He might as well have asked if the Bureau was also sometimes called The Soulmate Factory. “Yes, we’re often called that as well.”

“More than Systems Analytics Specialist?”

“Yes.”

He jumped topics. “So why did you start working at the Bureau?”

“It sounded like a good place to work.”

“How so?”

“It seemed like the Bureau did good work. Helping people find their soulmates.”

“And you didn’t want to find yours?”

“I was willing to give that up for something bigger than me.”

“Did you join the Bureau with the intent of manipulating your soulmate match?”

“No.”

“Did you sign up to be a matchmaker with the intent of manipulating your soulmate match?”

“No. I didn’t sign up to be a matchmaker in the first place.”

“You didn’t?” He arched an eyebrow curiously.

“No.”

“How did you become a matchmaker?”

You glanced over at your former boss. “Ms. Kwon chose me at the end of my six months of basic training.”

“Why you?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“You agreed to two and a half more years of training for a specialized position that doesn’t even recruit one new person a year without being told why you were suited for that position?”

“Yes. I was young and it paid better. I didn’t need to know.”

“When you were working as a matchmaker, were you ever asked by friends or family to manipulate their matches in any way, shape, or form?” He switched topics again. You weren’t sure if he was trying to disorient you, or if he simply decided that he was done with that line of questioning and wanted to move on with the next one.

You opened your mouth to say ‘no,’ then suddenly thought of the sisters on your bus in the mornings, recalling a day when the younger one had been crying as you got on, and her sister stopped you specifically. Tilting your head, you replied, “I once pinky promised a little girl that I wouldn’t match her with this smelly boy in her class. Does that count?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

He made a show of scribbling something down on his notes, of which he had already filled up the first page of a large legal pad. AD Yang flipped to the next page as he announced, “I’m going to skip forward a little in time. When you found out you had the string, what did you do first?”

“Went home.”

“Went home?” He repeated.

“It showed up after work. So I went home.”

“Where were you?”

“The bus stop outside of the Bureau.”

“Around what time of day was this?”

“Between five and five-twenty.”

“That’s a pretty specific time frame. How do you know that?”

“It was after work ended but before my bus showed up.”

“So the Bureau was still open, then. There were still people inside that you could have reported this to, such as Ms. Kwon here?”

“I don’t know if there were people in the building, and certainly not if Ms. Kwon specifically was still in the building, since I was outside and could not see inside of the building,” you answered frankly.

“Right, of course.” He gave you a close-lipped smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Do people usually stay after five here, at the Bureau? To your knowledge?”

“Some people, sure, on some days.”

“So, it would have been a good guess, that there would’ve been somebody inside, when you realized that you had a string?”

“Possibly.”

“Then why didn’t you go back inside?”

“Honestly, I panicked,” you admitted, closing your eyes for a moment as you thought back to that night again. “I thought it was impossible for me to get one. I thought I might’ve been able to figure something out on my own.”

“Figure something out? Like what?”

You opened your eyes and gave a half-hearted ‘I-don’t-know’ gesture with your hands that had been resting on the tabletop, despite his prior instructions to keep non-verbal cues to a minimum. “Like what happened, what went wrong.”

“And did you?” He prompted.

“No. I didn’t.” Not even a little bit.

“And is that when you told Ms. Kwon? When you gave up?”

“No.” You told her when you decided you wanted to keep the string. Not because the dead-ends had frustrated you.

“Why did you tell her? Why not continue your renegade investigation?”

“You’re asking me why I followed proper protocol?”

“I’m trying to piece together what happened. All the events that happened, and exactly in what order. What happened that caused you to tell Ms. Kwon at the time that you did? Did you even tell her? Or was it found out? I’ve been assuming, I’m sorry.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly, but consciously relaxed your face back into a pleasantly neutral expression. Ms. Kwon would have obviously had to do her own report including all of the details of your conversation with her. He should know all of those particulars. Was he trying to catch Ms. Kwon in a lie?

“Yes, I chose to report it. Because I had done some self-reflection. And I don’t think there’s anything further to be said that is of import for the Bureau to know.”

There was a moment of still air as he held eye contact with you. Out of the corner of your vision, you saw Ms. Kwon’s lips part, as if she were about to say something, then she closed her mouth again, waiting. Mr. Yang cleared his throat.

“Sorry to jump around like this, I’m sure it must be disorienting, but I’m going to go back in time now.” He was very clearly not sorry at all. “Did you know Jung Sungchan before this incident?”

“No.”

“Had you ever met, seen, or heard of him in passing?”

“Not to my recollection, no.” Sure, you could have walked by him on the street before, but you had no way to know that.

“It’s my understanding that he’s an artist, you may have seen some of his work? Heard of him that way?”

“No.”

“So there was no reason that you would have wanted to manipulate your match with him?”

“No.”

“How soon after getting your string did you meet Mr. Jung?”

Now you felt like he was messing with you. “You have that data.”

“I’m asking you.”

“The string appeared on Monday evening, we met that Saturday morning.”

“So, less than a week?”

“Yes.”

“Quick.”

“I suppose,” you replied noncommittally.

AD Yang hummed a single note in the back of his throat as he looked over one of his papers, then his sharp eyes were back on you. “How many times did you meet before reporting your string to Ms. Kwon?”

You had to take a moment to think before answering. “Four, including the first meeting.”

“I’d like to return to your job, for a moment. Now, I have Ms. Kwon here with me not only because she was your boss, but because I obviously have no clue what goes on in that room when you guys work with the computer. Really, from what I’ve heard, it’s some incredible stuff. So she’s kind of here to help me out in case I go way off the mark with what I’m asking you with some of this.” He let out an imitation of a nervous laugh, grabbing a piece of paper from his stack. He pushed it over to you, asking, “Now, can you take a look at this for me?”

It was a nearly blank piece of copy paper, except for one long string of characters printed across it.

jkD%NVSC3%JCacN%vWS5#k!Z4GqGW#ZfMyqGUfc@wQT5L5vK2uWU5N*5Lg&6

“What do you see here, Ms. Y/L/N?” Mr. Yang questioned.

You looked up from the paper, having to consciously choose not to slip back into reading it and instead focus on the conversation at hand. “It’s raw match data from the computer. This is one match.”

“Does it look familiar to you at all?”

“I mean, it looks like every other match I’ve ever read.”

“So you don’t remember reading this specific match at all?”

“No, I don’t remember reading this specific match.” You didn’t even need to look at it again. Of course you didn’t remember it, they were all just a bunch of stuff that you read practically in a trance, there was no way you’d be able to remember any of them.

He grabbed another paper from his folder to show to you, a clipping from a spreadsheet of some kind, several columns showing a date, time, and eight-digit code that was unfamiliar to you, except for the letters appended to the end of it—your initials.

“According to our audit logs, this match was read at, and the match report submitted from, your station in the matchmaking room.”

“Okay.”

“Is it safe to assume, therefore, that you submitted the match report?”

“Was it during business hours?”

“Yes.”

“Was I swiped in?”

“Yes.”

“Did Ms. Kwon see me at my station during that time?”

“Ms. Kwon?” Mr. Yang prompted her without breaking eye contact with you.

“I do not have specific recollection of this day, so I cannot say in the affirmative or the negative,” she spoke for the first time since you had entered, and you had to suppress your smile at her response.

The man lifted his arms up and then down in a sort of ‘oh well’ motion. “We don’t know.”

“The electronic data does make it seem likely that I read this match and submitted this match report,” you finally said.

“This is your match with Mr. Jung.”

You tried not to show your utter shock on your face—you knew he wanted to get some kind of reaction from you—but you couldn’t help the sudden jolt forward in your seat as you went to pull the piece of paper closer to you again, your eyes drinking in the characters once more.

jkD%NVSC3%JCacN%vWS5#k!Z4GqGW#ZfMyqGUfc@wQT5L5vK2uWU5N*5Lg&6

There was still no way for you to distinguish specifics, but just knowing that somewhere in this seemingly meaningless string of nonsense was you and Sungchan, you kept rereading it, desperately wishing for it to feel special now.

“And how do you read the matches? Walk me through the process.” AD Yang’s voice brought your focus back to the present.

You exchanged a knowing look with Ms. Kwon. “I really can’t…”

“Trade secrets?” He said humorously. “It’s alright, I work at the Bureau.”

“No, I mean, it’s impossible to describe. I can’t tell you what I’m reading or how I know. I just do.”

“Then how do you know it’s right?”

“Because it is.”

Ms. Kwon stepped in then, “Mr. Yang, I’m advising you that you are getting close to questioning the computer and the program itself, not Ms. Y/L/N.”

He held his hands up in a sort of surrender. “Well that is certainly what we are not here to do, hm? Let me just take a look at my notes, and make sure I’ve covered everything. Should only be a few more minutes of your time, Ms. Y/L/N.”

AD Yang kept you in there until you started watching the sun begin its journey downwards in the sky. At some point, you started going in circles, and you knew he was just trying to catch you in lies, or confuse you, or get you to admit more than you had before out of exhaustion, or in hopes that he’d let you out. But you gave no different answers, no contradictory or new information, and you knew he’d eventually let you out. After all, there was no proof anywhere that you had done anything wrong, because you hadn’t. The most they could really get on was not telling someone at the Bureau sooner when you’d gotten your string but what could they actually do? Fire you?

When Mr. Yang finally declared the interview over, and turned the recorder off, you had to keep in your groan of relief. Instead, you maintained your composure, standing up when they did in order to shake their hands.

“Thank you very much for your time, Ms. Y/L/N. I do apologize for taking so much of your day, that had not been my intention,” Mr. Yang once again laughed as he shook your hand. “But this was very helpful, and I promise, yours and Mr. Jung’s answers are going to help us here at Bureau improve the way we do things in the future.”

“Right. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Yang.” You nodded politely to him, then turned to your old boss, a genuine smile coming to your face. “It was good seeing you again, Ms. Kwon.”

“Jeno had something to do, so I’ll show you out, Y/N.” She informed you, gesturing to the door.

The two of you were quiet as you walked through the halls of the second floor, until you finally reached a small waiting area on the other end of the building, made up of only a few uncomfortable-looking armchairs. Sungchan was the only person there, slumped down in a chair and bouncing his leg as he cracked his knuckles. He looked up when he heard footsteps, jumping to his feet as soon as he saw you, and while you would’ve felt a little weird about running in an office, he clearly didn’t care, taking just a few long strides to reach you and wrap his arms around you.

“God, Y/N! There you are! What the hell? Why the fuck did they keep you so long? They wouldn’t tell me anything, just that you were still being interviewed and I could either leave or keep waiting. I wasn’t going to leave but—”

“I’m fine, Sungchan, I’m fine,” you reassured him, hugging him back despite the slight awkwardness you felt with Ms. Kwon still definitely being right there. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

He didn’t say anything else, just kept holding you as you turned around in his arms to address Ms. Kwon.

“Uhm, we’re good to leave, right? Do you need anything else from us?”

She was clearly fighting back a smile as she replied, “I ask that you wait just a little bit longer, okay?”

“Okay, sure,” you nodded. “What is it? Something for me to sign? An NDA or something?”

“Just a moment, okay?” And with that, she left.

“God, I fucking hate it here,” Sungchan grumbled into your shoulder. “Let’s just go, whatever NDA or whatever the hell they want you to sign is going to suck and be coercive as shit and not worth it. It probably won’t even be enforceable or whatever.”

“I can’t even tell how much of that is even good or bad legal advice. I think all of it was probably bad?”

“It’s definitely going to be written by that fucking skeeze who interviewed you for like seven hours straight, which means it’s going to be bad.”

“What if it’s stuff for my severance pay and benefits? Ms. Kwon also said she’d write me a letter of rec if the investigation went well—”

“Y/N!” “Y/N!” You were cut off by two familiar voices calling your name from down the hall, and whipped your head around to look, your jaw dropping in disbelief. Jaemin and Renjun were rushing towards you, waving all four of their arms wildly, as if you could miss them. You squealed, darting over to them and throwing your arms around their necks.

“Oh my god!” You laughed as they hugged you tightly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you guys today!”

“We were specifically not told when you were coming,” Renjun admitted. “I even got blocked out of the Executive calendars for the month.”

“Ms. Kwon just came and got us,” Jaemin said. “Though, word had already spread.”

“Are you sure you want to be seen with me?” You double-checked, looking around despite being in a rather empty corner of the building. “I don’t know what people have being saying, but based on the less-than-warm-welcome we got at reception, it doesn’t seem like it’s been good.”

“Do we want to be seen with our friend?” Renjun poked the right side of your head.

“Duh.” Jaemin poked the left side of your head.

“Yeah, I didn’t miss that.” You scowled at them.

“It’s so weird seeing you in normal clothes,” Jaemin commented, making you really look between their jumpsuits and your blouse and pants.

“It’s still a bit weird being in normal clothes,” you sighed.

“So… you going to introduce us?” Renjun nodded to where Sungchan was still standing awkwardly by himself in the waiting area.

“Yeah, come on!” You grabbed them by the arms to drag them over. Sungchan looked up from where he had been busying himself with a loose thread on his dress shirt, eyes landing expectantly on you. You let go of your friends to loop your arm with his. “Sungchan, this is Jaemin and Renjun, we used to work together. Jaemin’s desk was next to mine out in the bullpen, and Renjun was a few desks down from us. Guys, this is Jung Sungchan, my soulmate.”

You could hear your voice pitch up with giddiness as you introduced Sungchan in that way, and watched as his face relaxed into a smile as soon as you had called him your soulmate. He offered his free hand out to the other two.

“Nice to meet you guys,” he said sincerely. “I’ve heard good things from Y/N.”

“Then she must’ve been talking about a different Jaemin,” Renjun snorted.

“And a different Renjun,” Jaemin agreed.

“So, what are the wild theories about how I did it?” You asked. “Not the official one, I know you two don’t know that. But the breakroom gossip, the water cooler chat, the cereal death match chatter.”

“Rumor has it…” Jaemin lowered his voice and leaned in conspiratorially. “You were desperate to reunite with a long-lost childhood love and that’s why you applied to be a matchmaker.”

You snorted. “Cheesy.”

“I heard one about Ms. Kwon being in on it because you’re her secret daughter,” Renjun grinned.

“Ooh, that one’s good.”

“With someone with a string.”

You mock gasped. “Scandalous.”

Jaemin added, “I heard a version sort of like that, but you were Ms. Kwon and the Director’s secret daughter, which is obviously how you had enough pull to get it to happen.”

“Then how did I end up with my parents? Did they pay them off to adopt me?” You frowned, trying to figure out this bonkers drama plot of your fake life.

“Get this…” Jaemin paused for dramatic effect. “Your dad is the Director’s secret brother. So your parents are actually your aunt and your uncle.”

“I should’ve thought of that!” You shook your head, laughing.

“A lot of people don’t think you did anything, though,” Renjun assured you. “Seriously, most of the stuff I’m hearing is people being surprised that it hasn’t happened before.”

“That’s good to know.”

“PR is going to have a hell of a time,” Jaemin chuckled.

“Sucks to be Mark Lee right now, huh?” You grinned.

“Oh, I know that man has been sleeping under his desk for the past two weeks.”

You wrinkled your nose. “God, the seventh floor has got to be fucking rank by now. Please tell me Jeno and Donghyuck have at least been making him go home to shower.”

“Chenle did.” Your friends said in unison, making you burst into laughter at the mental image.

“God, I would’ve paid money to see that.” You chuckled. As much as you loved seeing your friends again, this wasn’t where you belonged anymore, and you had skipped lunch in that unnecessarily long interview. So with a sigh, you announced, “Anyway, it was so good to see you guys again, but we need to get going, and I’m sure you have work to finish up.”

“Unfortunately,” Renjun sighed.

“We’ll get drinks—dinner and drinks, the usual place—all four of us,” Jaemin declared as he went in to hug you goodbye. “Okay?”

“For sure,” you agreed with a grin. “You still need to give me my fucking book back, Na Jaemin.”

“He’s just a fucking thief!” Renjun complained as he went to hug you as well. “Bye, Y/N. See you again soon.”

The guys all exchanged a final wave and ‘nice to meet you,’ before your former coworkers headed back. You looked up at Sungchan, about to ask if he was ready to go, and saw him already gazing down at you thoughtfully.

“What?” You asked instead, furrowing your brow.

“Now I get how you could stand working here for five years.” He rubbed your back. “It wasn’t the Factory itself; it was the people you found here.”

“W-Well yeah. I liked my coworkers. But I also liked my job.”

“Yeah, but I like my job too, and I work alone at my studio. I like that. I prefer that. If I had to make small talk with a bunch of different people all day on top of doing my job, I think I’d start biting people,” he explained. “You didn’t just make small talk, you made friends.”

“I guess I’m a people person,” you shrugged, never really thinking about something that was so normal to you. “Is that weird?”

“No, it’s good. Just want to make sure you have people around that you like at your new job too.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. “Now come on, if your lunch in there was anything like mine out here, then it was approximately four saltine crackers and some water.”

“Where are we going to eat?” You asked as the two of you headed towards the stairs.

“I live nearby. I want to talk about whatever the fuck that skeeze did in there for seven hours.” His voice was tense again at the mention of the interview. After a beat, he tacked on almost nervously, “If that’s okay. We can go somewhere else if you want.”

You encircled an arm around his waist as the two of emerged into the empty courtyard. “Your place works for me. I agree, we shouldn’t talk about that out in the open.”

Despite Sungchan both picking you up and walking you home from seeing each other many times over the past couple weeks, you had yet to actually be in each other’s homes before. You hadn’t even seen the outside of his place. You knew the general area of where he lived, as he had mentioned it while giving context for some stories he’d told you. The two of you also hadn’t been this… touchy before. Whenever you saw him, it always felt sort of like you were hanging out with a friend, if you ignored the string. You didn’t hug hello or goodbye, didn’t hold hands, nothing other than the little teasing elbow digs. It never occurred to you to really bring it up to him before, that technically, according to Bureau statistics, you two were taking it slow, because that would be a fucking weird thing to say—and also, you didn’t mind. You didn’t mind doing this at whatever pace it happened at.

But now, all of this all at once, it was making you a bit dizzy. In a good way, if that was possible, but still off-kilter.

Sungchan stopped in front of the door to a townhouse in a long row of townhouses, each one with a different, colorfully painted door. His was pistachio green. When he finally opened it up and pulled you in by the hand, you immediately started looking around with eager eyes. He said he hated people looking at his art and making assumptions about him, but he said nothing about his home.

“Kitchen, living room, and laundry room are on the first floor, bedroom and bathroom are on the second,” he told you over his shoulder, taking you through a narrow entryway before emerging into the connected living room and kitchen area. You already knew his studio was at a different location from his home due to the sheer scale of the pieces he made.

His walls were all filled with art, but you immediately figured it wasn’t his. They were drawings, paintings, doodles on napkins, anything and everything. It looked like dozens, maybe even hundreds of different artists in all sorts of styles. Some professional, but most clearly not.

“Everyone who comes to my place has to pay,” he explained. “They owe me a piece of art.” Walking over to the very first wall that your eyes would see upon entering, he pointed to a piece of copy paper with random crayon scribbles on it that was displayed dead in the center. He grinned. “Not even babies are exempt. My nephew.”

“What happens when you fill up your walls?” You asked curiously, following him into the kitchen, which had even more art.

“Guess I’ll have to find a bigger place with bigger walls.” He seemed to be searching for a specific piece, then pointed to a small napkin drawing of seven cartoon heads grinning. “Sohee. Guy said he couldn’t draw then busted that out after some soju. With a pen! I know you haven’t met the other guys, but it looks just like us. Guess which one’s me.”

You hummed thoughtfully, then pointed to a face in the top left.

“Yep!” He beamed proudly, as if it had been his own drawing. He started naming all the other guys in the drawing. “Shotaro, Wonbin, Sohee, Seunghan, Anton, and Eunseok.” Then, he drew your attention to what looked like an invoice for air conditioning repair services, with a pencil sketch of an older woman in the corner of it. “A/C repair guy. Just pulled that out of nowhere. It’s his wife, they met when he went up to her in public saying she was so beautiful he had to draw her. That was before they had their strings. He said he just knew, would’ve known without the string anyway. His art didn’t take off, hence why he was my A/C repair guy.”

“So is it a piece of art every time a person comes over, or just one piece of art, and that’s the toll paid forever?”

“One piece of art per person, debt is cleared forever,” he clarified, opening his fridge to root around in it. “I’ve had some artist friends defer their pieces for future visits because they wanted to make a proper, good piece. You know, put real time into it.”

“It’s good, Sungchan,” you grinned, still looking around at more of the art on the walls. “I love it all.”

“I know, now I don’t have to worry about my furniture matching my décor.”

“Yeah, but it’s also…” You breathed in happily as you tried to figure out how to say it. “You called me a people person earlier. You are too, just in a different way.”

He looked around doubtfully. “You think so? I literally said I would bite people if I had to talk to them. I don’t know if my people skills are really up to par for being labelled a people person.”

“Your entire house is wallpapered in art from just ordinary people that you’ve met. Your friends and family, an A/C repair guy. Call me crazy, but I think you like people.”

“Huh. Never thought of it like that.” He grabbed a few more things from the fridge, then the pantry. “Anton just calls it a weird powerplay, and one time Eunseok said he thought I like ‘asserting my dominance.’”

You laughed, “Maybe you’ve just got weird friends if they think you asking them to make you art is you trying to dominate them.”

“Not going to argue with you there.”

“Can I defer my art to another visit?” You requested. “I mean… I’ll probably be over more than once, right?”

He smiled softly. “Probably. And sure, you can defer. But you’re not getting out of it just because you’re my soulmate. If anything, I think that means you definitely owe me something I can point to when people come over and say, ‘my soulmate made that one.’”

After getting a quick and simple lunch together, you and Sungchan took it to his living room to eat, as he didn’t have a dining table. You sat with your back against the arm of the couch, facing Sungchan as your legs were criss-crossed under you.

You started, “So, what did AD Yang—” “Who?”

“The guy who interviewed us? The man with Ms. Kwon?”

“Oh, the skeeze.”

“Yeah. So what did Mr. Yang—” “Who?”

You rolled your eyes, fighting to keep the amused smile off your lips. “So what did the skeeze ask you? I want to know that first, before we talk about mine. Because like, when I think about the amount of time it took Jeno to walk you up there, introductions, goodbyes, then for Jeno to take you to the waiting room, then come get me… I mean, that whole time was like fifteen minutes. So you probably only talked to them for a few minutes, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, it was just a bunch of stuff they probably already knew.” He shrugged. “When did I realize I had the string? When did you and I meet? Did I know that you worked at the Factory when we met? When did I learn that you worked at the Factory? Did I know you before the string? Did I know anybody else at the Factory who could have manipulated the match for me? Then… that was it.”

“Makes sense. You didn’t have any ties to the Factory other than me.”

“So what the fuck happened in there that the skeeze thought he needed to take seven fucking hours?”

“I don’t think it would have taken that long, except…” You scratched your head awkwardly. “I’m the one who read our match and submitted the match report.”

Sungchan’s eyes widened. “Wait, really? But how did you not— Don’t you look that stuff up?”

“Reading the matches, and looking up the profiles, it’s all anonymous. It’s not like I saw it and my brain read it as ‘Jung Sungchan and Y/L/N Y/N.’ It was just… sort of like, the impression of profile numbers, I guess? It was like any other match to me, there was nothing special about it to me.” You screwed your face up as you desperately tried to both explain the matchmaking process to someone who had never been near the process at all, and as you tried to recall anything about that specific match at all, which you of course couldn’t. “And the profile numbers when I looked them up, it didn’t show me names or pictures, or any sort of identifying data when I would do that. It’s all completely anonymous, for good reason.” When you opened your eyes again, Sungchan was still staring at you, and your stomach dropped as you realized what you had just said. “Sungchan, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not that you’re not special, of course you are, but when I would be matching, you’re sort of not yourself and—”

“Woah, woah, sorry, I didn’t mean to zone out and make you worry like that,” he apologized, setting his bowl aside and turning to fully face you. “I was just thinking… How many people get to say that their soulmate was the one who gave them their own red string? Like, that’s so cool.”

“Uh… nobody? We’re probably the only ones.”

“Exactly. It doesn’t matter if it felt special to you in that moment or not. Because it still was. I mean, did it feel special when you decided to stop and look at that book at the bookstore? In the split-second that you made the decision?”

You shook your head. “No, I just, wanted to look at the book.”

“And me running after the Frisbee when Anton missed for like the sixth time that morning didn’t feel special in that second. But both of those things were, because it took both of them happening at the same time for us to meet.”

You chewed on your bottom lip, looking down at your food, then up at Sungchan. Setting your bowl aside as well, you then asked, “Is that what a soulmate is, then?”

“What? A Frisbee nearly hitting you in the face?”

“No,” you chuckled. “I mean—Jaemin, Renjun, and I were talking one night, and we were debating about what a soulmate really was. I was in an existential spiral over our red string, they were having a fun little philosophical discussion. They didn’t know about the string yet. We couldn’t decide if a soulmate was just the best that you do, or somebody who would make you better, or infinite second chances.”

“So what do you think a soulmate is now?”

“Someone that makes all the nooks and crannies in your life special, even if they wouldn’t usually be. Just by being there.”

Sungchan absolutely beamed, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah, yeah. I… like that.”

“What do you think a soulmate is?”

“I’ve always figured every pair of soulmates needs something different from each other,” he replied. “And I think you figured out what we need from each other. To make all the nooks and crannies of our lives special just by being there.”

“Okay…” You agreed softly, a fond smile coming to your lips as he offered his hand out, palm out. You set your hand atop his, your chest squeezing your heart at the same time Sungchan squeezed your hand.

“Now… tell me everything that fucking skeeze said. Everything you can remember.”

“Oh my god, Sungchan.”

“You were in there for seven hours, Y/N!”

“He asked me the same one and a half hours of questions like five times. I was going to start biting people by hour three.”

[sungchan: omw :) ]

[you: okey!]

[sungchan: :( ]

[you: okey! :) ]

[sungchan: :) ]

Laughing to yourself at Sungchan’s attachment to emoticons in texts, you grabbed the last few things that you’d need for your date today. It was the last week that his exhibit was available at the museum, and between your hectic schedule of interviews, and phone interviews, and callback interviews for jobs, in addition to his own schedule, this was finally the day that you two had been able to arrange to go together. A few minutes later, your phone lit up again.

[sungchan: outside :) ]

[you: omw down <3 ]

You saw him start typing, but then he stopped, presumably figuring that he’d be able to tell you whatever it was to your face in thirty seconds. Rushing down, you threw open the front door already with a smile that only grew tenfold as you looked up at Sungchan.

“Hi!” You greeted him, locking up behind you before giving him a hug.

“Good morning.” He readjusted your jacket, pulling it more snugly around your collar for you. “You going to be warm enough in that?”

A cold snap had come through last night, dropping the temperature and forcing you to get your fall wardrobe out early. You raised an eyebrow, looping your arm with his to pull him over to the bus stop to wait. “The museum is heated inside, isn’t it?”

“Well yeah…”

“Then I think my biggest problem would be having to carry a heavy jacket around the museum the whole time.”

When the bus arrived, you were just a bit disoriented by there being completely different passengers—after all, it was a different time of day than your previous daily commute, and you and Sungchan went to sit in a different row. You took the window seat, always loving to watch the passing scenery, and to give Sungchan the extra leg room of the aisle. As the bus took off, you squinted, unable to see much through the fogged-up glass. Sungchan reached a hand past you, and you watched with interest as he drew a heart in the condensation on the window. You giggled and took your own pointer finger to the empty space in the heart, carefully tracing out JSC, then your initials, then a plus in the middle, feeling very much like a preteen doodling on your math homework.

When you looked back at him, you saw that his ears were pink, and you weren’t sure if it was from the cold or not, but he grabbed your right hand with his left, both of your index fingers still a bit chilly from drawing on the window. He rested your linked hands on your lap, and though you couldn’t quite see it from this angle, you knew that the string that connected your pinkies was complete. You leaned your head on his shoulder to look out the window, through the lines made with your little heart.

At the art museum, you excitedly stuck your visitor sticker to your shirt before pulling Sungchan in further by the hand. You looked up at the huge skylight in the main atrium, providing an abundance of natural light on a large abstract sculpture in a bold orange color. “It’s beautiful in here.”

“Have you ever been to this museum?” Sungchan asked curiously as you stopped to watch a cloud pass over the skylight.

“No, I haven’t,” you replied quietly, turning your gaze down to the sculpture in front of you. “I’ve lived here my whole life and it’s one of those places that I’ve always been meaning to go to but, I don’t know, I just haven’t yet.”

“Yeah, I’ve got some places like that,” he said in understanding. “Let’s make a list, both of us. And we’ll cross them off together.”

“Okay, yeah.” You smiled at him, squeezing his hand. “Together.”

Sungchan’s exhibit was in the first gallery past the lobby atrium, and you two had gone at a pretty perfect time for it to be empty of everybody except the docents. You came to a stop as soon as you entered, unsure of where to put your eyes first. When you heard large-scale mixed media collages, you weren’t sure if you had really processed how large ‘large-scale’ was. The gallery was probably fifty meters across, the longest wall being taken up entirely by one single piece. There were only five pieces total in the gallery, one on each wall and one suspended in the middle of the room. You were sure that you could spend hours just looking at one of them.

You decided to start at the one closest to you, and work your way towards the back, where the entrance to the next gallery was. There was a plaque with information about the piece and the artist on it, which you entirely discarded. You commented on things you liked or found interesting as if you were just talking to yourself, not expecting Sungchan to respond at all. And truly, you were just talking to yourself, mostly gasping and muttering all of these things under your breath with delight—after all, you were in a museum, you had to use your inside voice. He’d sometimes chuckle or hum with interest, but that was the extent of him engaging with your commentary, just following you as you slowly trailed down the pieces, then sometimes jumped back to a place that you had already looked over as you made a connection, then went down again. Until you finally made it to the behemoth piece.

Despite being the largest, it had the most fine detail, the smallest individual parts making it up. And that almost felt intentional. Part of you wanted to ask Sungchan that, but you bit your tongue. Instead, you raked your eyes over every square centimeter, drinking in as much as you possibly could. The docent who was standing in the corner switched out while you were looking over that piece, and for a brief second, you wondered if any of the employees had recognized Sungchan. It had never occurred to you that random people on the street would, but in the art museum where he quite literally has an exhibit displaying his art, under his real name… If they did, nobody had made any indication as to such.

Then your attention was sucked back in by the collage in front of you. By the time you were finished, you weren’t sure how much time had passed, only that your feet hurt. You didn’t say anything to Sungchan, only gave his exhibit one more proud look before turning the corner into the next gallery. This one had a dark, heavy curtain dividing it from the rest of the museum, and you immediately knew why. There was a sign at the beginning, the letters lit up so you could read it: ‘The Beauty of Light’

The building’s main overhead lights were completely out, so that the only light provided was from a few along the floor so you could see your step, and the exhibit itself. There were mirrors, glass panes, and colorful lights set up all around the room, refracting all sorts of seemingly impossibly arrays of colors and designs along the surfaces.

“Woah…” You breathed out, reaching out to catch a rainbow on your palm, immediately laughing with wonder.

“It’s interactive,” Sungchan informed you, adjusting the equipment making the rainbow so that there was a whole starburst of rainbows all across you.

“Okay, that’s really fucking cool.” You could feel the huge grin on your face.

“I really didn’t want to see you reacting to my art, actually. I usually hate seeing people looking at my works.”

You looked up at him, confused. “Then why did you want to come with me?”

“I knew they had this exhibit here, and I knew I had to be there when you saw it.” He moved the glass just a bit more, and you weren’t sure where the rainbows had ended up now, but he seemed satisfied as a tender smile came to his lips. “Beautiful.”

“It’s incredible,” you gushed, looking around the room at more of the cool effects being done with lights, then back to Sungchan. You held your hand out towards him, and he walked out from behind the equipment, taking your hand again. Now that he was next to you, some of the rainbows were sticking to his skin and clothes, and you couldn’t help but smile as one caught on his nose.

“Thank you for bearing through the horror of seeing somebody see your art to experience this with me,” you half-teased, swinging your linked hands. Though your words were exaggerated, your sentiment was sincere.

“I said I usually hate seeing people look at my works, but I liked watching you in the exhibit. It didn’t feel like you were performing for me,” he said with a grin. “I could probably watch you watch paint dry.”

“You’re being hyperbolic,” you scoffed.

“I’ve got some paint at my place, want to find out?”

“As thrilling as that sounds, maybe later,” you snorted. “I’m not done with the beauty of light.”

“Hey, no complaints here.” Sungchan ran his thumb over your cheek, still looking down at you with an unbelievable tenderness in his gaze. “Hm…”

“What?” You whispered, your voices suddenly sounding too loud in the empty gallery. The docent had stepped out, and another hadn’t come back in. It was just you and Sungchan in this room.

“Tried to wipe the rainbow off your cheek…”

“Let me guess, didn’t work?”

“Well, it did, kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Moved to your mouth.” He traced the bottom line of your bottom lip with the very tip of his thumb, and you felt like you weren’t breathing, waiting for him to do something, anything.

“Sounds like a problem.” You put your hand over his, pushing it to your face so he was cradling your cheek.

Sungchan was smiling as he kissed you, you could feel it in the sweet press of his lips to yours, the soft tilting of your chin up to meet his. You squeezed the hand down by your side even tighter. He broke the kiss as gently as he had started it, still smiling down at you. You suddenly shot up to your tiptoes and wrapped your hand around his neck to pull his head down so you could peck the bridge of his nose, giggling when you had released him and he stood back up with a confused but affectionate look on his face.

“And what was that for?” He asked with a chuckle.

“You had a rainbow on your nose.” You told him very seriously. “We’ve established that you have to kiss them off, obviously.”

“Well in that case—” He proceeded to kiss your forehead, cheek, hair, and mouth again in quick succession.

You were laughing, your entire body buzzing from head to toe as you leaned against him both in a bid just be closer, and also because you felt like your knees might just give out. When you heard footsteps enter the gallery again, you bit your lip to stop your giggles, and Sungchan left you with one more fleeting peck to your temple before standing up straight and bringing you over to the next area of the exhibit.

Groaning and sleepily rolling over onto your back, you were vaguely aware of the fact that you had rolled directly back into someone’s chest, and contentedly snuggled further into your position. An arm snaked around your waist, pulling your hips flush to theirs, and you smiled to yourself as you started drifting back off to sleep.

“Y/N?” Came a low rumble of your name from behind you.

You were nearly asleep again, and decided to just pretend you didn’t hear him.

“Baby?” He whispered, a little louder.

“Shh, Sungie,” you hummed. “Still sleeping.”

“Y/N…”

“Sungchan, my love, shut the fuck up and let me sleep.”

Deciding your discussion was finished, you rolled onto your front again and pushed your face into your pillow. He just followed you to that side of the bed, and you felt the pillow dip as he rested his head on it as well. Sungchan ran a hand up and down your spine, the covers dropping lower with his movements.

Realizing that he wasn’t going to be letting you sleep in today, you lifted your face out of your pillow and propped yourself up on your elbows to glare at him. “What is so important that I can’t sleep in on a Saturday when I don’t have to open?”

“You said you wanted to go to that breakfast place, and it closes in an hour,” he informed you quietly, face reminding you very much of a guilty puppy in that moment.

You looked at the time on his bedside clock, and flopped back down with a groan. “Well it’s too fucking late now. Next week.”

“Sorry, baby.” He squeezed your shoulder. “I would’ve woken you up sooner, but usually you’re the one who wakes me up for this kind of stuff. I just woke up a couple minutes ago.”

“Mm, it’s okay, Sungie,” you sighed and turned onto your back, offering him a sleepy smile to let him know that you weren’t mad at him at all. Now in a particularly lovely and warm patch of sunlight, you couldn’t imagine even getting up to go to the bathroom, much less a restaurant. “I think my sleep schedule from working at the Factory is finally gone. My body isn’t used to getting up for a nine to five anymore.”

“Oh, hold on.” He reached for his phone off the nightstand, and you immediately knew what was coming based on his change in demeanor. With a half-resigned, half-endeared sigh, you threw an arm over your face to hide it as he stood up to start taking pictures of you. He called for you with a slight whine in his voice, “Baby…”

“I have bedhead and morning breath, Sungie.”

“You can’t tell if you have morning breath in a picture.”

“And the bedhead?”

“So? Prettiest bedhead I’ve ever seen.”

“Subject gets to decide if you see her bedhead.”

He was quiet, but his pout was deafening as he continued taking pictures of you laying in the morning sunlight.

“Actually…” There was a curl of a smile in his tone as he plopped back down on the mattress. “I like it. Reminds me of those Baroque statues of Greek goddesses.”

You dropped your arm from your face and shuffled closer to be able to peer at his screen. The similarity of the pose was uncanny, but it also reminded you of something else.

“Or Ophelia…” You snorted.

“She doesn’t have an arm over her face.”

“Yeah but like, the general vibe, you know?”

He laughed, sinking into the pillows to make a few minor edits to the color toning. You settled your head on his chest to mindlessly watch him work, knowing that at least one of these photos would be printed out and added to the wall.

When you had admitted to him one night that you felt a lot of pressure over what piece of art to make him to put on his walls as part of his house rule, he suggested that the two of you make one together. So far all of his guests’ art had been relegated to the first floor, so the walls of his bedroom were entirely blank. Starting in the middle of the largest wall, above the long side of his bed, you two had begun a collage. Adding pictures that you two took of each other, pictures other people took of you two, pictures you took of places that you went on dates together, and any miscellaneous thing from your time that had acquired fond memories and Sungchan could figure out a way to stick to the wall. It had slowly started growing, and sometimes you liked to just lay in bed and look at it. One time you’d asked Sungchan what he was going to do when he moved out of this place, and he’d said cut out that section of wall and take it with him. At the time, you had laughed, but now you weren’t so sure it was a joke. Honestly, they could just put more wall in, right?

“There,” Sungchan murmured with finality, and you heard his portable photo film printer start whirring to life from his desk in the corner.

“Put it up later,” you requested, wrapping an arm around his middle and burying your face in his neck. “Don’t want you get up…”

“Fine by me.” He hugged you to him tightly, readjusting you so you were practically on top of him. “Are you on the afternoon shift or the closing shift?”

“Ahrin had her sister’s wedding today, so I’m doing afternoon and closing.”

“God, nobody else could take her shift?”

“I needed the money,” you shrugged. “Severance pay is gone and amazingly, part-time bookstore clerk doesn’t pay as well as full-time matchmaker at the Factory did.”

You’d been having a difficult time finding a job since quitting the Factory. Despite companies and organizations seemingly tripping over themselves to want to interview you, it was crickets when it came time to actually follow through after that. Even with your immaculate letter of recommendation from Ms. Kwon. At most of the interviews, you got the distinct impression that they just wanted a chance to meet the Factory employee who “rigged it,” and not actually interview you. After all, who would want such a dishonest and untrustworthy employee at their company. The only place that had offered you a job was your favorite bookstore by the park, which you were more than grateful for.

“I told you, you can live here,” Sungchan reminded you gently.

“I already practically do,” you retorted. “But I still have a lease on my place, and have to pay whether I’m here seven days a week or not.”

“Then why don’t you cut your lease? Isn’t there an early leave payment or something? That has to be cheaper than continuing to pay for the next however many months when you don’t even live there.”

“I—” You swallowed thickly, your voice getting smaller. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I mean that.”

“Me actually moving in?”

“Yes, you actually moving in.”

“Okay.” You beamed into his shirt. “I’ll look into the early leave payment.”

“Send your lease to Jihun to look over,” he suggested, referencing his sister’s husband.

“He’s not a lawyer.”

“No, but he’s got a couple. And he’s good with contracts and haggling. Bet he can get that fee payment cut in half.” You lifted your head, about to argue with asking for favors like that, when Sungchan cupped your jaw and tilted your chin so you were looking right at him. His red string hung in the air just in the corner of your eye. He held your gaze steadily. “It’s what family does, Y/N.”

“Okay,” you murmured, nodding against his hand. “Yeah, family.”

He pulled you forward and up to crash your lips together, his fingers tangling in your hair, and your hands flew to his chest to keep yourself upright. You felt your love for him filling every nook and cranny of your body, and you knew it was something special, because it was yours.

➥ masterlist

[jojo-schmo]

How did you come up with roleswap Elfilis' design? It's really cool!

Hi! Thank you so much! :D I'd love to share my thought process! Gather round the armchair by the fireplace, friends! It's story time!

I've said before that the Forgotten Land Roleswap started off as a doodle that swapped Dedede and Bandana Dee's roles as Player 2 and the Brainwashed Beast. But when I realized how fun that one little change was, how about EVEN MORE changes? That's how my one-time doodle turned into the full AU story. I swapped Meta Knight and Kirby, Clawroline and Leongar, and Sillydillo and Gorimondo- and because the story is so Waddle-Dee centric, I promoted Dedede to "Player 1" since the stakes would be higher for him as their King.

So now I had a story that had a lot of opposite traits to canon and I wanted to explore that further! When it came to the matter of Elfilin, I thought he would probably behave too similarly towards Dedede and Meta as he did to Kirby and Bandee. He'd be friendly and trusting, communicative, optimistic, knowledgeable, and cooperative. So how about providing them a travel companion who is defensive, has trouble communicating, a little wild, uninformed about themselves and the world around them, and has a bit of a temper?

But working with all these opposite traits didn't feel in-character for Elfilin anymore. So my natural next step was to swap Elfilin with Elfilis and make a new version of the Forgotten Land's lost little pup!

Enough yapping about the context behind my decisions, tho. How'd I come up with Roleswap Elfilis' design?

I see you out there, Fecto Forgo fans. Maybe somebody out there's thought, "Roleswap Elfilis does not look like them! Why not? That's what the other 50% of the Ultimate Life Form looks like! I demand justice for the angry glowing rat fetus!"

Maybe nobody has ever thought this. But I wonder sometimes lol

Your feelings are valid, friends. Please lemme explain my reasonings.

This fella, to me, is the abandoned wet specimen left to float in a jar for who-knows-how-long after a forcible physical and mental separation via spatial teleportation shenanigans. And I think part of their appearance is due to their role as the trapped and forgotten half.

The role of the half that got away fully formed his own body and inherited some traits from the complete being-

For Elfilin in canon, he got ears that are proportionally huge compared to the rest of his body, blue eyes that sparkle with the light of a thousand destroyed planets, a tiny bit of pink fur for his adorable blushies, and a really long fluffy tail. Maybe becoming a being free of chaos gave him those sweet eyes like Kirby and the Waddle Dees have.

My reasoning is that whichever half ends up escaping the Lab and fully forming their own body, they would carry the major physical traits the other wouldn't inherit.

Anyway, that left Elfilis with the horns, colorful and expressive eyes, whiskers, beige chest fluff, opposable thumbs, and pink tummy fur.

Elfilin gets the long tail in the bodily divorce so Elfilis has a short stubby little cotton tail like a bunny. Like if he ended up with just the very tip of the Ultimate Life Form's tail.

Behold this diagram above I came up with two years ago! Disclaimer: the canon Elfilin is the one in the chart. And I draw him a little differently these days lol. I ain't showing anyone how he ended up in the Roleswap yet tho!!!! >:0

But Roleswap Elfilis is more than just "baby version of the Ultimate Life Form..."

All the differences in the Forgotten Land Roleswap from canon stem from one event in the timeline. One change that I added to the events that were already supposed to take place. It's why the Ultimate Life Form split differently. Why the Beasts have different roles and aesthetics. Even why the portal took Bandana Dee and Kirby before Meta Knight and King Dedede.

How did that saying go again? The flap of wings somewhere can influence a bunch of huge changes somewhere else down the line...? What was the name of that theory again....? Hmm. Not important, I guess.

Anyway, the end!! You sly dog, you got me monologuing!!1! /lighthearted

[ashiemochi]

bestie, I ain’t gonna lie - I’m very hungover at work for reasons I’ve already told you

Can I have a comfort drabble of Leon taking care of an icky and hungover reader 😭 I’m dying

You were promoted -- and that was all it took to convince you to invite Leon for a celebratory night out with loads of drinks and snacks. Leon tried to convince you that there was no need for you to take care of the bill, but you were stubborn.

"You always buy drinks for me, so it's my turn!"

You really just wanted a reason to spoil him instead.

One drink turned to two, then to three, then to four, and then more.

You weren't shooting for that many drinks, but Leon kept going as if he didn't have a liver. You knew about his high tolerance for alcohol and his history with drinking, but it seemed like he learned how to not relapse.

And maybe he didn't drink as much as you. Maybe it was him just taking small sips and enjoying the beverage unlike you who was going all out for the weekend. You were calling the shots (and downing them) as Leon casually busied himself with his Brandy and the small cup of peanuts.

You'd ramble about random things that didn't make sense with those red cheeks of yours and those drunken and slurred giggles. Leon was just as happy as you were about the promotion -- though let's be honest, his monthly paycheck was your whole year salary.

And more.

Even when you went to dance with some friends from work, Leon chose to stay by the bar. It wasn't like he hated dancing or mingling with the crowd -- if it's with you, he'd recreate a whole Step-Up scene. If it's with you, then he'd do anything.

But from his spot, Leon sat quietly with a drink in hand, his eyes trained on your swaying form like a hawk. In both lustful and protective ways -- and love.

So, when the night ended and morning came, Leon was still there for you. Though he didn't know how someone like you could vomit that much.

"Fuck me, I'm going to dieeee..."

Leon bit back a snicker as he held your hair back, inwardly cringing at the sounds of you emptying your guts. You didn't even manage to open your eyes before you found yourself rushing to the bathroom with a pounding headache.

For a split second, you even thought you passed out but it was just your legs giving out from the sudden movements of hopping out of bed. And because you were extremely hungover, but that's beside the point.

You were dying.

"No, you're not going to die." Leon rolled his eyes lightheartedly at your dramatic nature, his hand rubbing your back, "You're just hungover. It'll pass."

"You mean... I'll pass away..." You drawled, your voice croaky and still heavy with sleep.

Leon chuckled and that made you straighten up a bit, turning your head slightly to look over at him and he cocked up a brow at the scowl on your face.

"What?"

"You're laughing at me..." You mumbled, "You think this is funny?"

"Absolutely not, baby," Leon laughed and shook his head, "I think it's very cute. You were practically drinking for the both of us last night."

"Ugh... I knew it..." You moaned, dropping your forehead to your arm that was resting on the toilet seat, "You didn't drink shit."

"I did, just not as much as you." Leon pointed out, leaning forward to press a quick kiss on your head, "C'mon. Luckily for you, I know exactly the right things to do in this situation."

"Die?"

"Not even close."

Leon was a gentleman. First things first was to get you some rest to get rid of that headache. He got you some painkillers and water, emphasizing you finish the whole cup. It was one of the few moments where he'd be stern with you.

Only during the times when you wouldn't be taking care of yourself.

Next thing was food. By the time you woke up, it was in the afternoon and you were starving if not still a bit nauseous. So, for something light on the stomach but filling, Leon made some chicken noodle soup.

A banana smoothie too for the hangover to dissipate completely.

Third, a hot shower which Leon turned it into a hot bath instead as you were a bit lightheaded still.

By the end of the night, Leon had you all snuggled up against him on the couch in your comfy clothes with nothing but some ice cream and even more water.

[808airsoftbros]

My Wives Reaction to You Getting Harrassed at Work (Haseul/Vivi/Yeojin/Nana/Miyeon)

Author: Suddenly felt inspired to write this after listening to a creepypasta story. Anyway hope you enjoy and if you want to check out more of my works do go to the Masterlist :)

Cho Haseul

You were being bullied by your co-worker and your manager was doing nothing about it since he was his son

Being the mother of the family she wouldn't tolerate such treatment for her loved one

"What?! Let me talk to your boss!"

Would confront the manager or the main corporate office no matter how much you begged her not to

At first your manager would laugh at her until he realized that your wife was a famous kpop Idol

In just a split second, he was on his knees begging her not to expose the company and what was going on behind the scenes

"P-Please don't report this! I need this job to pay for my rent! I'm sorry not only I'll fire my son! I'll give him a raise or hell even a promotion!"

In the end, the awful and useless co-worker was fired and of course, he didn't take it too well seeing his own father screwed him but she had private security on stand-by just for this particular result

However after just five months you'd quit that job and work at a bigger company but you were still grateful for what she did for you

Vivi

You were refused a raise despite all the hard work and effort you put into the company and when you just decided to work the bare minimum you were written up for being "lazy"

"What are you serious? What fucking idiot for him not to see the talent inside of you!"

Vivi would've taken a little much of different course of action to the situation

She would first consulted Haseul who's the head of the household and recommended reporting this to your boss's supervisor

But seeing that the CEO was just as useless greedy as the manager she ended up just buying the whole company

"W-What is this?! An ownership contract?!"

"Well, sir, you should've thought about this before treating my husband like shit so from now on, I'll be running this company,"

In just no time you became her secretary and it was a win-win for the both of you now that you get be at her side 24/7

Nana

You got a customer complaint from an actress whom Nana happened to once partnered up with in the past

She'd be perfectly calm about the whole situation and unlike Vivi and the others she'd handle it her own way

"Okay darling, just leave her to me and don't worry about a thing okay~?"

Confused at first but you decided to let her run the show and enjoy it from a safe distance because you know well it will get a bit messy

She'd review the surveillance footage and prove you were just doing your job enforcing the company's policies thus making the actress the guilty one

When she gathered enough evidence, she'd confront her former co-worker and obviously she denied it and made up stories that you were being rude

"Is that so? Well, mind explaining this?"

Shocked and caught red-handed, she knew her life would be over at this moment knowing Nana could just end her career in the blink of an eye

"I-I'm sorry! Please don't turn this into the media!"

Luckily for her, Nana was in a kind mood so she just asked her to apologize, and quickly she obliged

Cho Miyeon

Miss Cho Miyeon is someone you don't want to mess with especially since she is Lieutenant of the (G) I-DLE mafia

The second she heard that you were targetted by your company she wouldn't hesitate to send men to burn their building to the ground

"What is that, my dear? Are they bothering you? Are you okay? I can just send some of my guys to burn the damn place to the ground."

Of course, you begged her not to as this wasn't the first time she committed mass murder and arson

But she'd just bought the whole company and transformed it to serve the Mafia clan

You wanting to continue to live a normal life would just get hired by a different company with better co-workers and management

"Aww~ Baby are you sure you don't want to join us~?"

Sure the offer was tempting as you'd love to be close to Miyeon but it was too much of a risk having a target on your head 24/7

Im Yeojin

Being the youngest of the family and step-sister she'd be mostly concerned about your health and well-being

"Oppa, are you okay?" "Do you need some cuddles~?"

Yeojin wouldn't really do much besides just informing her mothers

"Eomma! Oppa was being bullied! It was his boss again!"

Sadly nobody would take her that seriously as she was too adorable to be intimidating

However she doesn't need to do anything as her Eommas take care of everything for her

"Baby! Eomma said that she voted the CEO out of his office so she's in charge! Isn't that great?!"

For the rest of the night, you two cuddled in her bedroom after partying

[wooahaeruby]

Chapter 32: Epilogue

Chapter Word Count: 8,360

Anything in Bold Italics are Korean/Another language.

Master List | Prev

March 2023

[Notice] Announcement of Member’s Engagement  Hello,  This is Pledis Entertainment.  We would like to update you on the status of relationship regarding SEVENTEEN member Woozi and his soulmate.  On March 14, 2023, Woozi confirmed to the company that he and his soulmate had come forth with their engagement. The two wished to publicly announce the status as they move forward with their shared life together. We ask fans for kind consideration regarding their personal lives and privacy. At this time, nothing has been confirmed for a wedding, but if the artist and his soulmate wish to make a comment, you will be informed.  SEVENTEEN will continue with their schedule regarding the comeback and promotions.  We will do our best to support Woozi through this new stage in his life. Thank you. 

November 2024

Life had been busy.

Comebacks, tours, injuries, and anxiety, there was no escape from the chaos that came with being the soulmate to an idol. You took every chance and moment with now confident and determined steps rather than the uneasy footing you once had. 

If you looked back to the first day you had met Jihoon, you would probably laugh at yourself. Back then, life was uncertain, you had a plan for what you wanted, and you were worried of the unknown when your timer ran out. You were scared but hopeful, probably the best words you could put to it.

Now…Now life looked a little different. 

“ Three days, people! Three days!” Jamie’s voice rang through the living room. 

The apartment was busy – or well, Jamie was making it busy. 

It was three days before the wedding and things were getting increasingly anxious. Your head had been spinning since the moment Jamie, Kazuki, and your grandparents stepped back onto South Korean soil just under a week ago. 

Speaking of the apartment- You and Jihoon moved, already having outgrown the space the original two bedroom apartment provided. The more the two of you got comfortable, the more items were bought and space got eaten up. 

Weeks after the October 2023 comeback and over a month before flying out for the Follow Tour in Asia, you settled into a much more spacious and newer three bedroom, two bath apartment in a more expensive part of the city. It provided you a larger shared office space with Jihoon, something you both needed since he promised to work on music at home more. The master bedroom had an ensuite with an attached walk-in closet able to house the ever expanding and ever changing wardrobes both of you had. Your favorite part of the entire house was the extensive kitchen with all new appliances where you could cook to your heart's content. The attached dining room was a perfect place to host the entirety of Seventeen at the fancy, extendable table you could lengthen into the attached living room, comfortably fitting everyone. 

The third and final bedroom was the guest room. It was mainly used for any of the guys to crash on if they didn’t want to head home after a night in the Baby Universe Factory (you totally didn’t get a custom sign made to hang on the wall over his side of the room). As of the last few days, Jamie and Kazuki had commandeered it with your grandparents and Jihoon’s parents staying at the hotel where the wedding was being held. 

Sitting around your living room, the…very large wedding party was working on wedding gifts. 

While wedding parties aren’t usual in Korea, you and Jihoon agreed to host a Korean-American wedding, mixing each of the traditions and cultures after a lot of conversations, questions, and compromises. For you, one of the main things you wanted was Jamie and Kazuki to be a part of your wedding party. This turned into Seventeen being split between the two of you, some of them having argued whose side they wanted to be on. 

Jihoon said he wanted to stay out of it, telling the twelve of them that you needed five people on your side and they could figure it out themselves. You joined him in not engaging, but it went easier than either of you expected. 97 line were happy to stand beside you, they were the closest and first most welcoming to you when you fell into the group’s lives. Joshua and Seungkwan had to play rock, paper, scissors against Chan and Joenghan, the latter two losing the spot. 

A few months into planning, Jihoon’s mom had asked if it was alright for her to wear a traditional ‘mother of the groom’ hanbok in a beautiful light blue color, showing you pictures as if she needed to convince you. That led to a perfect idea, asking if she and Mimi (after asking your grandmother what she thought) if they both could wear the traditional hanboks, seeing how much it meant to Jihoon’s mom. She was ecstatic and Mimi was happy to follow whatever you wanted or needed to make it the best day of your life. 

Mingyu whining had your train of thought cut off. 

“ I am bad at tying bows!” 

“ I literally have given you a video, a print out, and showed you!” Jamie grumbled, sitting himself on the floor beside the giant, showing him for the hundredth time.

You and Jihoon were lounging on the couch, reviewing the timeline for the wedding on his laptop when you snickered, whispering to him. “ Shouldn’t we be helping?” 

Jihoon raised his eyes from the screen then shook his head. “ I feel like if we do, Jamie will yell at us.” 

“He probably would.” 

“The cupcakes are finished!” Mimi called from the kitchen, she absolutely loved the space as much as you did. It wasn’t long before she and Papa were carrying two full platters with the cupcakes, chocolate with cookies and cream frosting and vanilla with orange creamsicle frosting. It was like watching children light up with sweets and many of the guys were on their feet instantly. The treats were passed out before they retreated into the kitchen, knowing you’d fill them in one anything later.

“ Alright.” Once they were all settled once more, Jamie scrolled through something on his phone. “ We need to…finish the gift bags, which we are almost done with, then we have to pick up the rental suits tomorrow so everyone needs to go and make sure everything fits right.” 

“ I’m out, I already picked mine up.” You gave everyone a salute, leaning back with a smirk wide on your face. 

“ Yeah yeah, and Hyeji is hiding it.” Jamie stuck his tongue out at you and rolled his eyes, refocusing on his phone. “ Anyways, then the day before the wedding we go to the hotel, we’ll make sure everything is set up correctly. Rehearsal dinner and the big day after that.” 

Leaning over to Jihoon once more, you snickering between the whispered words. “ Please tell me the guys aren’t going to put on a big performance for us.” 

Jihoon shuttered and a small disgruntled expression spread itself on his lips. “ I have no idea, but if they do…I wouldn’t even be surprised.” 

“You know, we should really expect it at this point.” 

He managed to chuckle, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulled you close to his side. “ They’d throw a fit if they didn’t add something inherently ‘Seventeen’ into the mix.”

“Things will be fine~ Maybe it will be cute.” 

“If one of them ends up on the floor, I’m blaming your sunny disposition.”

Shoving everyone in three vans to get to the tailor’s was a feat, it was loud for early afternoon, everyone buzzing with different levels of excitement. Jihoon was just lucky they didn’t need to be there at ass o’clock in the morning, but it was going to take a while for everything to be checked over. 

Jamie and Kazuki have been on top of everything – mainly Jamie – and have been amazing with communicating with all aspects of the wedding along with Ruby. The members have been great at easing stress, having used their connections to make things smoother when they originally were looking at vendors. Seokmin got an amazing package deal for a videographer and photographer for the event and an album was going to be made professionally for the wedding. Jeonghan, Mingyu, and Jun gave amazing suggestions for caterers and Mingyu found a bakery that Ruby loved to make the cake.  

This wedding was very much his own, and between working, Jihoon had placed countless hours on the living room floor with Ruby, trying to figure out what needed to be done. While it wasn’t necessary, Jihoon’s parents offered money to help pay and to both his and Ruby’s surprise, Mimi and Papa had a savings account for this reason as well. In actuality, there was very little Jihoon and Ruby needed to provide because of the money, but also due to the guys using some favors to pull strings. 

To his external denial, Jihoon was nervous, he wanted everything to go smoothly. He felt more nervous now than he did when he proposed over a year ago. There were just as many hands in the pot helping, yet the anxious pit in his stomach didn’t stop bothering him. Ruby had been pestering him that things would be fine and he was worrying over nothing, which he trusted and eased the feeling but it never fully went away. Jihoon’s father said he was just nervous for the future. Seungcheol said that it wasn’t actual nervousness, but probably anxious excitement and he simply couldn’t tell the difference. 

Staring at himself in the mirror, trying on his suit for the last check, it hit him. 

In his eyes, it was a simple tux, however the details were the parts that he didn’t realize were going to make the whole thing real. 

The simple black blazer had notched lapels with a single breast pocket over the left side of his chest and a red silk pocket square resting within it. Beneath was a plain white vest buttoned around his waist, and a matching pressed white dress shirt with a button down collar hidden behind a red tie. On the day of the wedding, a red and white rose boutonniere would be pinned to his lapel to finish off the whole look. 

“ Seeing it all together is quite eye opening, isn’t it?” The tailor flattened out the back of his collar, patting both his shoulders. Jihoon could see the older man’s smile reflecting back at him in the mirror. 

“ If I am to be honest with myself, it’s weird.” He gave a defeated smile, fixing the cuffs of his jacket. “ But it feels right.” 

“Piece of advice?” Jihoon nodded at the man. “ My wife always says that a soulmate is someone meant for you, but a life partner is someone you wish to spend every waking moment with. If those two are the same person, everything will feel right.” 

With one final check through everyone from Kazuki and Jamie, making sure every piece was accounted for, the suits were packed into one of the vans, the group once again was on the living room floor, only chatting now, lazing around with everything done in the apartment for the wedding. Boxes lined one of the walls, neatly stacked with all the important items stored for easy transport. Tomorrow afternoon, they’d check into the hotel and everything would be brought to the wedding hall and set up before the rehearsals were run through with a team from the hotel’s event coordinators. 

Ruby was nowhere to be seen, neither were their grandparents. Jihoon only assumed they were out and about for the afternoon. He had sent them a text that they’d be occupying the apartment but heard nothing back. 

It was an hour into the mindless talking, final detail discussing, and Jeonghan stealing the guest room for a nap that Jihoon felt the telltale spark up his spine and the warmth that radiated in his soul. The three stepped through the door with arms loaded to takeout bags, calling out they needed help, Papa and Ruby carried the most, but soon half the group was crowded and taking things with enthusiasm to eat. 

“Hello to you too. ” Ruby snarked at them, smiling as they placed anything not takeout related away. 

“Oh hush, sweetheart,” Mimi snickered. “You should have seen Papa’s friends when I came home with food for everyone from the diner all those years ago. Like giant barbarians.” 

“They are a bunch of barbarians.” Jihoon slid into the space beside his soulmate, letting his hand gently connect with theirs, savoring the warmth the bond brought. “Heathens.” 

Ruby laughed, nodding. “A bunch of heathens, but they are our heathens sadly.” 

“Both of you! Sit!” Jamie called across the reception hall, eyeing you and Jihoon simply fiddling with the centerpiece vases, housing fake white, black, and red roses. 

Both you and Jihoon shared a look before putting your hands up in defeat and sat down boredly. “If I knew he was going to be a wedding planner-zilla, I would have fired him day one.”

“ No you wouldn’t, because he’d start the waterworks and you’d fold faster than when Mingyu begs you to make brownies.” Jihoon sat back, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. 

“ I do not fold when he asks me to make brownies-” 

“Yes you do.” Minghao’s voice was heard passing behind you, him helping Seokmin and Jun carry a few boxes and setting them down where Jamie asked. 

“ I have no allies here.” Rolling your eyes, you stood from your seat and took Jihoon’s hand. “ I want to see the setup outside.” 

Wordlessly, he followed, lacing your fingers with his own, letting you lead him outside the receptional hall and across the long hallway towards the entrance to the hotel’s small, indoor greenhouse. 

The greenhouse pavilion was the main reason the two of you picked the hotel. It reminded you of the day he proposed and life started to make more sense overall. It was yet another chapter you two were able to get through together and add to the many more chapters to come. 

With the mid-November wedding, it was entering the more frigid temperatures and the leaves were changing outside, but life continued to bloom within the confines of the greenhouse. As you found the center of the pavilion, the cushioned metal chairs, each covered in a white fabric and a red ribbon tied around them, were already set up to seat your guests. In front of it all was a wooden arbor covered in ivy for the two of you would stand under during the ceremony. Tomorrow, vases would be placed along the aisle chairs with real, fresh bouquets of roses to match the ones inside, bringing more color to the already bright and inviting environment. 

“ It’s surreal.” Jihoon finally spoke up, walking with you until both of you were standing before the arbor. He took your other hand and stood across from you, looking about the set up with wide, wonder filled eyes. 

You cracked a smile, “ You’ve said that a lot the last few months, you know.”

He looked down, trying to hide the timid smile that graced his lips. “ Can’t seem to help myself.” 

“Now…are you going to tell me if you wrote up your vows?” 

Jihoon snorted and shook his head. “ Not a chance.” 

You feigned annoyance, dramatically slumping your shoulders and leaning into his arms. “I can’t believe you’ve done this.” 

He laughed, slipping his hands from yours and encircled your waist with his arms, swaying side to side. “ You’ll survive until tomorrow to know.” 

The sound of hurried footsteps broke you from the embrace and the event coordinator of the hotel gave a bow, motioning towards where you came from. “ We are going to start the rehearsal and discuss the full timeline.” 

While it took a good hour, the rehearsal went well. Jihoon, his parents, and all the guys practiced filing down the aisle, all smiles and whispered jokes while the coordinator spoke confidently and happily. You practiced walking down with both your grandparents at your side. There was a fake little ceremony with the woman running the whole operation so there wasn’t too much of a hassle for what to expect come tomorrow. 

The short walk back into the reception hall revealed the entire set up. When you were in the event hall earlier, the overall white backdrop spanned across the far wall, workers were still finishing on the final design. Now red and black, thinner fabric criss-crossed and tied together to form a subtle but elegant design, filling the large room with a pop of color that wasn’t overwhelming. All the table settings were placed, the assigned name cards were on a table at the entrance for guests to grab as they filed inside.

Surprisingly, to Jihoon’s suggestion, there was an open bar set up on the far right with the catering tables along the same wall. There would be proper plated dinners, however hors d'oeuvres and other finger foods would be there during the cocktail hour. When dinner was done being served, the caterers would switch things out in preparation for cake and other desserts. Things would be moving quickly, you worried if it would run smoothly , but you had faith that it would.

Once the rehearsal finished, the group of you moved to the restaurant within the hotel for dinner, having secured a private dining space as the party before the party . Drinks were moving along the table quickly, laughter and conversation abundant between ordering. You didn’t plan to drink much, and everyone promised to do the same, but that didn’t stop the energy. 

By the end of the night, you were thoroughly tired. For the first time in a long time, you and Jihoon parted at the elevator, going to separate hotel rooms with a parting kiss and Jamie fake gagging as he walked around you both.

“ Why are you all here?” You frowned, curled up on the couch in your hotel suite, watching one after another members of your wedding party filing into the room. 

“ We got breakfast!” Seungkwan and Mingyu held up three bags while Joshua and Seokmin held the drink holders of coffee or tea. “ Plus, the hair and makeup artists are coming here for us so it’s better to be here early.” 

Taking one look at the other guys showed their hands full with garment bags and other little items to keep entertained between waiting for their turn to get their styling done. The TV was turned on not long after and shuffling about the large room was making your head spin. Jamie and Kazuki were hanging garment bags in the entrance way closet, making sure the names were on displayed on them so each knew whose were which. Minghao was a quiet force, taking up space at the table with his phone and coffee. 

“It’s like two hours until-” You wanted to argue but Hyeji’s voice stopped you.

“Ruby-ah~! I have it all steamed!” Hyeji pushed herself into the room around the guys, holding the white garment bag, motioning for Mingyu to help hang it on the door. “ All ready to go.” 

“There are too many of you. ” You complained, huffing when Seungkwan sat beside you, his coffee in his hand and a hot tea being handed over, along with some breakfast pastries in a paper bag. 

“ You’d think you’d be used to this by now.” He sassed as Joshua sat on the other side of you. 

“ Honestly, Ruby-ah, you’ve spent two years with us.” 

“And I’m doomed to spend the rest of my life knowing you.” With a mumbled thank you at the food and drink, you curled up and let yourself properly wake up and adjust to the disarray your room was now in.

With the constant chatter keeping you entertained, the time flew by before the room was being filled even more with people. Multiple of the group's makeup artists were insistent on helping out and the hairstylists that were brought in were already setting up two stations in the bedroom. You, thankfully, still had a few hours until you needed to prepare for the first look with just your grandparents, but everyone needed to be ready.

Luckily, the room wasn’t small, but with so many bodies moving now that the photographer joined, you felt a little suffocated. Sitting in the makeup artist's chair in front of the wide windows in the living room area, you tried to stop yourself from holding your breath and bouncing your leg. 

The photographer was able to snap a few pictures but Minghao redirected them to the happy chaos that was the guys. He also asked (definitely scolded) the guys to quiet down and sit before he was placing a warm mug into your hands. Minghao whispered something about it being a tea to help you relax and the fact he took time out to make it was calming enough. 

When the woman working on your makeup was done, you were a lot more calm and even able to be pulled into some photos with everyone. The guys and your friends were flitting in and out of the bathroom to change shirts and pants, leaving them half dressed in their tuxedos. Mingyu was saying something about being glad the ties were clip-on because he couldn’t handle the thought of tying bow ties.

Your hair, thankfully, took a shorter time than the makeup, styled mainly out of your face, pulled back and given a slight curled style to add body and volume. At the back of your head, a red, jeweled hair pin was placed, holding the hair back and adding the pop of color you took a while to figure out. The piece itself was actually from Jihoon’s mother, saying that she was gifted the item from her father to wear on her wedding day and hoped you’d be willing to wear it to yours. You gladly accepted it as your ‘ something borrowed’ , and you were curious of the other items since Jamie stated he had plans. 

Getting dressed was a little stressful as to not mess up any of the work done. Everyone but the hairstylist was pushed out of the room to help get you ready. 

You weren’t too fond of dresses and ended up picking a white suit. The bottoms were high waisted, wide legged dress pants that you needed some heels to keep it from dragging on the floor. Next was the white silk top, buttons only coming up to your mid-sternum while the rest were just open. A matching vest was slid on and finally, the piece that really had you interested when you picked it, the jacket.

It was a double breasted jacket with pockets falling on your natural waist and reaching to the floor. Three sets of buttons were front and center, but you were only told to button the middle ones by the tailor. The hairstylist was kind enough in helping you get it on and giving it a quick lint roll. She fiddled with some hair before patting you on the shoulders, helping you into your heels, and motioned towards the door. 

“Are you all dressed?” You said through the door to the rest of the suite, the living room , before all sound ceased and you were giving confirmation. 

You stepped out, sliding your hands into your pockets, smiling wide at each of them dressed in the simple black and white tuxedos and red bow ties.  Pinned to each of their lapels were red and white roses and baby’s breath boutonniere and they all were smiling brightly at you. Each of them looked handsome, hair done and light makeup dusting their features. They stood tall, and you almost missed the shutter of the camera clicking to capture the moment. 

“ Are you ready to get married?” Kazuki branched off from the group, stepping closer.

“ Before that~” Jamie slid in, hands behind his back. “ I have one thing and they have another.” He motioned to the members of Seventeen at the second part. “ Close your eyes.” 

Narrowing your eyes in skepticism, you let your eyes slip closed. It took a moment before something was being placed and maneuvered on your head. You flinched, almost curling in on yourself as you heard a snicker from Jamie and a quiet laugh from the hairstylist. 

“What are you doing?” You sounded unsure, maybe even annoyed because you just finished getting ready and you didn’t want whatever was being placed on your head to mess everything up. 

“ Giving you a piece for your ‘something old’, hold still.” 

When both sets of hands were pulled away, you felt something brush against your forehead and cheek, making you frown in confusion. Jamie gave the confirmation for you to open your eyes, only to be met with your reflection in a handheld mirror. 

Now, atop your head held by a few bobby pins, was a small net birdcage veil. It barely passed the highs of your cheekbones and small crystal gems sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the room. It was fairly simple, yet something about it was so familiar, like you had seen this piece before somewhere. Taking the mirror into your hands, you gazed at yourself in silence, taking in the styling work and the final ‘piece’ added. 

Then the light bulb in your head lit up and you let the breath catch in your throat. 

“ This was Mimi’s veil.” 

“ It is, she wanted me to give it to you before you went down for pictures.” 

Mingyu was beaming when he stepped toward the two of you, his toothy, wide smile spread on his face. “ I have the ‘something new’ from all of us.” 

From behind his back, Mingyu pulled a white jewelry box and handed it over, watching with bright eyes as you opened the box. 

Inside was a thin, silver chain and a singular rose pendant. The stem of the flower was a small piece of silver with a ruby gemstone representing the bud of the rose. Taking it from the case, you lifted it higher to properly let your eyes run over it. You broke out in a smile but tried to hide it, your lips twisting and Mingyu only continued to brighten. 

“ So you like it?” He curled his shoulders in and leaned down closer to your height. 

“ I do.” You nodded, “ Thank you, all of you. It means a lot that you did this.” There was a small chorus from the guys, saying it wasn’t any issue and that they wanted to, but you only snickered, motioning the necklace to Mingyu. “ Wanna help?” 

The giant hurried behind you, taking the necklace and gently securing it around your neck. You shifted the pendant into the proper place at the top of your sternum and hummed, glancing down at it before looking at everyone. “ Are we ready to head down?” 

The group of you moved in formation, each member of your wedding party surrounding you to keep you hidden. Since no one was answering their phones from Jihoon’s party, Hyeji was messaged and asked to find him but you needed to get the first look done without a hitch in time. You all moved quickly, being led along by the event coordinator until you were ushered just outside. 

Not far away under a small gazebo, your grandparents stood with their backs to you, standing arm in arm. One of the photographers was following behind you, while the other was seen standing before Mimi and Papa and the videographer had set up a few cameras within the gazebo to capture the moment. The guys hung back inside, giving the three of you a moment to be together before the wedding actually began. 

Stepping up to them, you reached out to place both hands on one of their shoulders, smiling wide as they turned to you. Mimi, standing in a beautiful light pink hanbok, and Papa, in a plain black and white suit with a rose pinned to his lapel, matched your expression and took you in from head to toe. Mimi was first to reach out, gently cupping your cheeks, clearly trying to hold herself back from crying. Papa placed a kiss to the side of your head, wrapping you up in one of his arms. 

“Look at you.” Mimi’s voice quivered, fixing the veil some by ‘fluffing’ it out to not brush against your face. She took one of your hands while Papa took the other. 

“You’ve grown up so fast, kid.” Though his face was helping firm, there was a similar shake to his voice. “You look lovely.” 

Unable to voice your words with the air caught in your throat, you pulled them both into a hug, taking deep breaths to try and keep your tears from falling. Both of their arms wrapped around your and you couldn’t help the small, choked sob that left you. The three of you stayed together in a hug until you pulled back, a wobbly grin spread on your lips. 

“You brought your veil for me.” 

Mimi laughed, fixing said veil once more. “Of course I did, I promised you I would years ago. But I have something else for you as well.” 

Looking at Papa, he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a broach you��ve never seen before in their possession. It wasn’t too large, fitting easily in the palm of your hand, the main portion of the broach was a round sapphire colored gem surrounded by tiny diamonds. You inspected it closer, raising a brow at your grandparents. 

“It was my mother’s.” Mimi began, smiling down at the broach. “She gave it to me on the day of my wedding, saying she wanted to start a tradition with a ‘ something blue’ in the family. I was…supposed to give it to your mother on the day of her wedding, but since I couldn't, I am passing it to you for your wedding today.” 

It left a…uncomfortable taste in your mouth for a moment but you sighed and a sad smile shifted onto your face. “Thank you, really, I’m going to hold onto this for the future.” 

Mimi took the broach and helped you pin it to the inside of your jacket, letting the photographer snap a few more photos before the wedding coordinator broke the moment to inform you of the final placements starting for the ceremony. 

Jihoon wasn’t nervous, he wasn’t. He swears on everything that he wasn’t.

He was standing (read: pacing) in a small separate room with his groomsmen, waiting for the guests to all be seated before all of them were to stand at the arbor in the greenhouse. The wedding wasn’t too big, definitely including Seventeen staff (mainly at Ruby’s insistence), the parents and some siblings of the rest of the Seventeen members (they were his family too!) along with friends. With Ruby’s friends being many of the staff, they didn’t mind the guests being mainly people Jihoon knew. 

“ You are going to make a dent in the floor.” Seungcheol snickered, grabbing a pack of tissues and shoving them into his pocket. “ Are you feeling okay?” 

“Yes.” He cracked his knuckles, huffing out a breath before he stopped and took in the amused gazes of his friends. “ I’m getting married.” 

Jeonghan snorted before a laugh left him. “ Yeah, glad you finally noticed.” 

“Hyung- Come on…” Jihoon deflated, trying not to run his hands through his styled hair.

“ Drink some water.” Wonwoo handed him a bottle of water and motioned for him to drink but the moment he started, Jihoon chugged half the contents. “ Not…Like that, but okay…” 

He opened his mouth to speak once more but a knock at the door stopped him dead in his tracks.

“ It’s time.” Hyeji said through the door before the second event coordinator opened the door. 

As the doors opened to the greenhouse, Jihoon, followed behind by all of Seventeen and Jamie and Kazuki, walked towards the archway, each taking their places on either side. Seungcheol and Soonyoung were the first ones standing behind Jihoon before the rest stood in relative age order. It wasn’t dissimilar to Ruby’s side, first were Jamie and Kazuki before the rest stood from oldest to youngest. He looked about to the guests, keeping his expression neutral while taking deep breaths. Jihoon could feel his hands sweating, which he quickly wiped off on his pants, and Seungcheol gave him a pat on the back. 

Then…the music started, it was a simple tune, quite generic, but still lovely as the doors opened and his parents stepped through and down the aisle. The smile that easily spread on his face, seeing his parents walk towards him was a small sigh of relief. His mother looked beautiful in the light blue hanbok, walking arm in arm with his father dressed in a crisp black suit. When they reached the arbor, he stepped forward, taking his father’s hand for a firm handshake and giving his mother a tight hug. She whispered a few compliments before the two took their seats in the first two chairs on his side. 

Once they were settled, the music changed into a familiar tone, one he had heard and played before. Ruby did say they would keep a secret of what song they’d be walking down the aisle to but hearing a full piano rendition of Heaven’s Cloud had a string tugging in his chest. When the doors to the greenhouse opened once more, Jihoon’s heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. 

Standing between their grandparents, arm in arms, Ruby looked…Wow. There were thousands of words in his personal dictionary he could use but all of them didn’t seem enough to describe how they looked. It was like his brain stopped functioning and he couldn’t process words. 

The notes to Heaven’s Cloud, the way his vision focused on nothing but Ruby… Jihoon truly forgot how to breathe. The shuddered breath he managed to get in was accompanied by the unexpected tears springing from his eyes and sliding down his cheeks. For a moment, Jihoon dropped his head and turned his face away from the crowd. Soon there was a tissue being placed in his hand with some force and another pat on his back. When he raised his head and met Ruby's gaze, unshed tears were welling within their eyes as well but the smile they wore never faulted. 

Nearing the arbor, Jihoon quickly dabbed his eyes and cheeks, shoving the tissue in his pocket and stepped towards the three of them. Mimi gave Ruby a tight hug and a kiss to their cheek only for Papa to cup their face and kiss their temple. Papa reached out and shook Jihoon’s hand before inevitably placing Ruby’s hand gently in his. 

“ Hi.” They whispered as they stood before one another, hand in hand, as the officiant stepped into place between them. 

Jihoon huffed and smiled wide, shaking his head slightly. “ Hey.”

With them so close now, he was properly able to take in the entirety of them from top to bottom. 

Ruby looked…Ethereal. Heavenly. Radiant.  

Too many words that he didn’t know how to express but he wasn’t listening at all to the officiant speak until Ruby squeezed his hands tightly and he refocused on the moment.

“The two have decided to write their own vows.” The officiant hummed, looking between him and Ruby. “ Who would like to go first?” 

“I can.” Ruby spoke up, letting his hand go and reached into their pocket, pulling a small, folded piece of paper out. They cleared their throat, straightening their shoulders. “ Jihoon, two years ago today, you held me in your arms on the floor of the Japan International Airport and told me you loved me for the first time. Today, I stand before you, our friends, and our family, just moments away from making our marriage official. For the last few weeks, I was unsure what I wanted to say in my vows. I’ve redone them a thousand times but nothing ever sounded right. For a moment, I wanted to wing it but that also didn’t seem right. Today, I wish to make promises to you, promises I wish to fulfill throughout our marriage and the life we will lead together. 

Lee Jihoon, my soulmate, my love, and my forever…I promise that from this day forward, I will stand beside you, and will forever support the dreams you have. I promise that I will be your shoulder to cry on, to wipe away each tear, and the ear to listen to all your worries. I promise to always make you smile and spark joy every moment of the day. I promise to love every one of your quirks, even the horrible one of your radioactive gym bag. I promise to take care of you when you are sick, when you are scared, and most importantly, when you doubt yourself. 

I love you with every piece of my heart and my soul. While fate may have brought us together, the moment you promised to fight for me on day one, I chose to be by your side for eternity. While you might say you are the lucky one, I am lucky to have a soulmate that will forever and always want what is the best for me even when I can be stubborn, bossy, and sassy. I am lucky that I have a strong, loving, and understanding person by my side that won’t judge me for stealing his clothes or eating junk food at two in the morning. 

Although it is until death do us part, I know that we will never truly part because our souls are made for each other.”

Tears were streaming down their cheeks, dropping from their chin to the floor as their vows came to an end. Behind him, the unmistakable sound of Soonyoung crying and Seungcheol trying to quiet him with Jeonghan. One look over Ruby’s shoulder showed their side not much better. Jamie, Kazuki- Okay well everyone on their side had some amount of tears in their eyes, some shed while others attempted to blink them away. Jihoon didn’t realize he had started crying until he blinked and his vision was blurred and his eyes stung. Seungcheol was handing him another tissue while trying to stop crying himself but it wasn’t working. 

He attempted to pull a similar piece of paper out from his pocket, shoving yet another tissue in his pocket as he attempted to collect himself and steady the shaky breathing. It took Jihoon clearing his throat twice to get a grip but his voice was somewhat broken and scratchy. 

“ For a musician, finding the words to tell you that I love you was more difficult than the hundreds of songs I’ve written over the years. I tried to write my vows as I do lyrics but I messed it up more than I’d like to admit. 

The day I felt the first emotions being shared between us, my eyes really opened for the first time. I wanted to make a life for myself that you, my soulmate, would be proud of. A life where I could care for you and have every single one of your needs met. I was young, ambitious, and wanted nothing more than to know who you were. In those early days I didn’t have you by my side, I grasped every emotion you sent to my soul, even the sadness that I wanted to wash away. 

When I wake up, I think of you. When I go to sleep, my last thought is of you. My mind never stops turning back thoughts to you. I used to be scared of what-ifs. But every time I take your hand I'm more excited for the future than scared. I am the luckiest person alive to be standing with you today and to be facing life with you everyday.

Y/N L/N…You are the sunshine in my life and the thing that makes my world go round. As long as the sun shines in the day and the moon and stars shine at night, my love for you will never falter. From this day forward, I promise to never let the light that brightens my days go out. I promise that I will protect you and assure you that you are enough. I promise that I will try every experimental dish you make in our kitchen. I promise to be your guiding light in the darkness, a warming comfort in the cold, and a shoulder to lean on when life is too difficult to bear on your own.

You are my person, my muse, my love and my everything. Today I say, ‘I do’ but to me that means, ‘I will.’ I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile.” 

Each word, while broken, managed to come out just as he wrote, but Jihoon was lucky he managed to memorize everything because he couldn’t see through the haze of tears that clouded his vision. 

Something touched his cheek and when he could blink away the tears, Ruby was laughing quietly, trying to dry his face. He held back a whine in the back of his throat but he tried to shake off the fit of crying quickly because he couldn’t stand up here sobbing while the rest of the wedding was trying to go on. 

The officiant, chuckled under his breath and let the two of them collect themselves before he continued on to the ring exchange, both Seungcheol and Jamie handing the ring boxes over. He turned to Jihoon first, waiting for him to take their hand before he was asked to repeat after him. 

Jihoon let out a calming breath, listening to the officiant before repeating the words. “With this ring I, Lee Jihoon, take you, Y/N L/N, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.” 

He slid the set of stacked rings on their finger, watching the ruby and diamonds glimmer under the natural lights. 

For their turn, they took the simple black titanium ring and held his hand, waiting to repeat just as he did. “With this ring I, Y/N L/N, take you, Lee Jihoon, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.” 

The officiant hummed once more as Jihoon took both of Ruby’s hands into his own, smiling warmly to one another. 

“ Lee Jihoon, do you take Y/N L/N to live together in matrimony, to love them, comfort them, honor and keep them, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?” 

He couldn’t help the airy laugh that bubbled from his chest and he nodded, “ I do.” 

“Y/N L/N, do you take Lee Jihoon to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

Ruby’s hands tightened around his, nodding their head. “ I do.” 

“ By the authority vested in me, I pronounce you married under South Korean law.” Stepping back from, the officiant continued, shuffling off to the side more. “ You may now kiss.” 

Without any hesitation, both Jihoon and Ruby leaned into one another, kissing before their friends and family. The kiss sent warmth that shot through the bond, the metaphorical fireworks exploding behind his eyes, and the butterflies that soared about his stomach that were almost overwhelming. He nearly blocked the cheering out, basking in the feeling until Ruby broke away, face flushed but the bond overflowed with adoration. 

Hand in hand, they walked back down the aisle, all bliss and tranquility shared from the guests between cheers and applause.

It was getting to the end of the reception, things had been wild, especially with the open bar and some of your friends not knowing their limits (read: Soonyoung). The reception started out great, not that the ending so far wasn’t, but the energy was amazing and it held the entire time. 

Once you and Jihoon got yourself collected, had some time to sit together, and come down from the emotional high, the makeup artist was kind enough to come back and clear any smudges or streaky foundation. The photographer came back to get pictures of just the two of you, then your grandparents and his parents were invited back and also got pictures. There was no unnecessary begging from the to come in, getting many pictures you’d have to sort through at some point once all the editing was finished.

The first dance you shared as a married couple was to a classical song both of you enjoyed, only wanting to simple dance, get a few spins in, and stay relatively close in each other’s arms without being disturbed. 

Though you did manage to somehow shed more tears as you danced with Papa, you and Jihoon kept it together the rest of the night. Jihoon and his mother shared a mother-son dance that was heartwarming to watch from the head table. 

Dinner had flown by and the real party started instantly. The drinks were acquired, laughter was shared, and both you and Jihoon floated around the reception hall to greet people and converse. It was probably the most social either of you had been in a while but it wasn’t too draining.

To be fair, it wasn’t long until the two of you found yourselves floating back to one another, walking hand in hand about the room. Jamie and Kazuki managed to separate you with 97 line to dance, leaving Jihoon because it was a ‘ Ruby wedding party only ’ dance. That made you roll your eyes but you danced, cackling at the foolishness your friends brought to the floor. 

When you went to sit down and take a breath, Jihoon slid into his seat beside you, reaching to take your hand. He raised your hand to his lips, placing a kiss to each of knuckles silently, feeling the serene buzz coming from his side of the bond. If it wasn’t so loud, you could zone out and let yourself be wrapped up in the moment, closing your eyes and leaning into him. He had placed his arm over the back of your chair, letting you rest your head against his shoulder while he rested his head against yours. 

Seventeen did manage to be unmistakable themselves, they had gathered together with mics in hand. Seungcheol started on a spiel, congratulating you on the union. He went on to say that he was proud of the man Jihoon continued to grow into as his friend, his brother, and how he was proud to call you another member of his family. He raised a glass and many others around the room did as well, giving a cheer before music started to play, the familiar tune of Smile Flower filling the room. 

You managed to laugh, but hugged your husband around his waist, listening to the group sing, two of the other vocal unit members taking over for Jihoon’s parts. They looked as happy as you felt, the twelve of them being some of your biggest supporters throughout the hard times. They had been nothing but helpful when either of you needed it and you would be grateful for forever day moving forward.

Before your grand exit for the night, you managed to get a hold of a microphone, catching everyone’s attention. 

You gazed at Jihoon lovingly, a lopsided smile spreading on your features. “ I knew the life we were going to share wasn’t easy, but I wouldn’t change a single moment. We’ve argued, we’ve cried, we’ve laughed, and we’ve loved together. Today, we start a new chapter, turning another page in the book I want to write with him as we get out of bed every morning and crawl into bed every night. ”

Grabbing your glass of campaign, you raised it high, running your eyes about the room. “I want to thank everyone here for coming today to celebrate with Jihoon and I. Everyone here has been our strongest supporters and I don’t believe I could wish for better people. We are so fortunate to have such wonderful people in our lives, and we look forward to creating many more happy memories together.” 

The room filled with the sound of glasses clinking together and congratulations. Once more, you settled your gaze on Jihoon, sitting there, staring at you with love and admiration. 

“ To you, Jihoon. Today has been a dream come true for me, and I couldn't be happier to be standing here as a newlywed. Thank you for being my everything. I love you more than words can express, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Here's to a lifetime of love, adventure, and the memories we will create.” 

[mxlktxa]

wouldn't trade her for the world

☁️🌱🕊 modern!au pairing; abby anderson x fem!reader c/w; a/n; just like the ellie fic, i did this in abbys pov cuz i wanted to see if i could capture her behavior except abby isnt obsessive and i just wanna push out more abby content (and joel maybe idk yet) ☁️🌱🕊

What would this world be like without her? Where would I be right now if she hadn't found me on that god awful bathroom floor? Would I be alive? Would I even meet her later on? Why did she get sent my way? Whatever answers you have, I don't really care to hear them. I'm happy with everything she's given me. I wouldn't trade her for the world.

She's everything I could have ever hoped for.

"Baby, baby, baby!" Y/N yelled, running up to me, arms outstretched and smile bigger than ever, "I have the best news you'll ever hear from me!"

She's so beautiful, I damn near forget to actually listen to her sweet voice, "What's that, gorgeous?"

"Okay, okay. So, you remember how I was working hard for promotion? Well, guess what?"

"Seriously?!" I gasped, watching her nod like crazy as she jumped up and down.

"And! And I got those two weeks off that I will be getting paid for! Which means we can go on vacation."

"To Sweden?"

"Correct!"

My landed on her lips as she gnawed on them and placed her hands on either side of my face, pulling me down so she could rub her nose against mine. I chuckled at her excitement while my hands found their way to her back.

"Why do you do this? The nose rubbing?" I asked, backing away so I could look into her eyes and place a kiss on the tip of her nose as well.

"I don't really know. I mean, I always did it with my mom when I was a kid whenever she wanted to show me some love. I guess I was kind of conditioned with it, y'know?" she explained herself, rubbing her thumbs on my cheeks, "you can always ask me to stop if-."

"No! God, no. I love it, don't stop. I was always just curious is all."

Our eyes met once again. She seemed so happy and comfortable with me as if she never had never felt like this with anyone else before me. Her eyes narrowed hands sliding down to my shoulders and a devious smirk replaced her innocent grin.

"Now what's on that nasty old mind?" her voice dropped down to her familiar flirtatious tone, head tilting as she questioned my thoughts. I scoffed, shaking my head and looking away in slight embarrassment.

"Nothing, really," my voice came out much more nervously than I wanted it to, Y/N raising a brow, "I mean... Maybe a little something but... I don't want-."

"Just ask me, Abby. What do you want?"

It was like she could read my thoughts as her cold, dainty hands were sneaking under my shirt, forcing me to flex at her touch. Her eyes obviously stared at my lips, gradually making their way to my chest which was rising and falling like crazy. I hadn't even fully realized I was breathing so quickly.

"I just wanted to ask if you wanna head upstairs and celebrate your achievements."

Now, I wasn't lying about wanting to celebrate but I didn't want to celebrate like this. But ever since she had run up to me so happily, I couldn't help but want to just fuck her like crazy. I just wanted to listen to her whine and complain. It was all I wanted really.

"And you thought that I would say no to this request?"

"Sort of. We could always just go out. If you want to of course."

"Aww, how sweet," she pouted for a split second before playfully pat my ass and planted a kiss as high as she could reach to my chest, "I'll meet you upstairs, I need to do something."

"Nope, do it later, you come first. Both figuratively and literally," I joked, bending down to lift her over my shoulder and carry the damsel up the steps.

"Abigail! You're not funny!"

"You're literally laughing!"

"That doesn't mean that you're funny!"

Yes it did. She thinks I'm absolutely hilarious.

What would I do without this little angel? Where would I be right this very second if she hadn't found me? I probably wouldn't even be here if it weren't for her. Either way. She's one of a kind and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

[intoloopin-archive]

A CHAPTER: THE SHARP AND THE BLUNT (PART 1/2).

tw(s): panic attack. dubious consent (haruki is very weird and forward about initiating sex!). alcohol abuse & alcoholism. semi-smut? (there is making out). miscommunication (a warning because I personally think it's constant and frustrating). insinuation and direct discussions of sexual trauma, abuse by a past partner, abuse of workplace power and stalking. internalized homophobia (in part one, a hint). If I missed anything, please tell me! starring: Lee Hanjae. Fukunaga Haruki. featuring: Dylan Hwang / Hwang Chihoon. Their fellow LOOPiN members (old OT10, no Gyujin, a lot of Beomseok). Delilah Franco. Oh Sunyoung. Choi Sangwon. Blonde Bob Piss Girl (a serious character).

timeline: quick flashback to 2018 | early to the end of mid 2022.

word count: 13,405 words. author's notes: welcome everyone to hanruki fuckery part 1 a.k.a the most frustrating and life draining four months in Hanjae's whole entire life a.k.a big sadness, the piece split into two. this one is over 23K long, and was originally intended to be read in one go but! It Got Too Big. The conclusion will be coming out later this week! prepare for a Haruki all in par with the one in the prologue, which falls in between this mess on the timeline. this is a work of a whole month, but it's also a work of two years: a whole central plot, planned and done. title's from this song! give it a listen once you get trought the bigger picture, maybe, for catharsis purposes. stay safe! remember you deserve to be safe, always!

November 12, 2018.

Hanjae had vowed not to cry anymore when he got this job – in the same vehement way he had promised at twelve that he would no longer make a sound if he wailed after school, face buried under piles and piles of unfinished homework, to medium success, just the right amount of it to call it success.

He could still tear up once in a while, if things got though, and that was it; a clause added after his first exhausting week as a trainee. The number escalated to once every two business days after he was shoved to debut on LOOPiN, out of all the upcoming boy groups there were.

There was a story taunting the New Wave Music corridors back then. Someone did something unspeakable to someone else, and it caused an expulsion, followed by the immediate need for a new rapper, a new dancer. And there was Hanjae; a BBC trainee for three months, far removed from the Boy Of The Week gossip, who couldn’t exactly sing but had great enunciation, and had been dancing before he was even walking…

He cried now, openly, defeated. It had been an awful day for LOOPiN 2on1.

Their short lived promotions had played out like a sunset: a big golden start – so much press, so much momentum, so many views on the ‘Baby Don’t Stop’ dance practice video, where he and Haruki were using plain shirts and even plainer jeans – quickly diluting into the darkest of times – the controversies, LOOPiN first ones, and exclusively about them.

A resurrected Facebook photo of Hanjae on his graduation with a bandage around his hand, matched with the lingering traces of his poorly removed tattoo there painted him as a school delinquent; Haruki’s drop out stories reintroduced him as the big drunken failure of KArts’s international program.

They were going to stop going to music shows, the company had decided that day, and Sangwon told them on the drive back that they had just done their last one. They had gone up on stage as a duo for the last last time.

With a strong sniff, Hanjae unburied his face from in between his knees and looked at his hand, at the faint shape of a badly drawn rose on his skin. His dad had been adamant about getting it out the moment he took a look at it, still involved in protective plastic. He used the little money off his college safe to arrange a laser session that Hanjae skipped. A year later, Hanjae managed to schedule another one with the partial sponsor of MBN, the company he was stuck on before BBC. He had to do it in a shady place, at a bigger cost: bad skin scarring.

His mom had been relieved to see it fade even more nonetheless, up until the black tattoo turned into something that almost looked like a peculiar and old scar, if you didn’t give it a second glance; and no one was ever giving Hanjae a second glance.

“Let that be a lesson,” she told him, nose turned up and away from him. “Don’t jump head on into things again, Lee Hanjae. That’s no way to live. Watch yourself, watch your company. You’re not a kid anymore. Do you have no goals? Do you want nothing for yourself? Are you that selfish? Can’t you think, for once, about something that isn’t–”

Haruki was the one who found him, sitting on the floor, small and tense against the laundry machine, waiting for everyone’s clothes to be cleaned – the member’s, Sangwon’s, the cleaning auntie's aprons she had forgotten on top of the dinner table last week. Cleaning was always his scapegoat way of attending to something, even if very small.

Maybe if the company decided to drop him, he thought, Hanjae could still be around as the dorm’s janitor.

“So you’re not from Seoul,” Haruki said, leaning against the door frame with an air of mischief around him, something light on his step despite it all.

It was a statement, not an ask, because he knew this. It was one of the few trivia points they had exchanged during pauses on music shows or water breaks in between choreography practice – ‘What’s your age? What’s your blood type? How many siblings? Oh, none? You’re so lucky, Hanjae, so lucky. All siblings are demons. You aren’t missing a thing.’

Hanjae didn’t even startle; Haruki often popped up at places like that, picking up conversations from days, weeks ago like they were merely put on pause.

Without uttering a word and barely looking up, he still nodded his head no.

Haruki nodded back, a pacifying smile showing up on his face, said, “Cool. Great. How about I show you a place?”

‘The place’, he informed Hanjae, was not all that nice, or clean, and he really shouldn’t wear nice shoes or nice clothes tonight, but at least it wasn’t far, at least they had permission.

“Who’s permission?” Hanjae asked, taking the pile of clothes to the dryer, smoothing wrinkles off them just for something to do.

Haruki waved manager Choi’s front keys in his hand, and Sangwon’s horrendous keychains clanked against each other: a green pine tree and a colorful ball. “The one that matters. What do you say, uh? You’re in? Can I count you in?”

He could count Hanjae in.

[...]

They stopped by a convenience store on the way, some couple of blocks down the dorm, and by then night had already conquered all of Seoul. Inside, the middle aged lady behind the counter rushed to give Haruki a hug, a paper bag and a discount.

“He’s a street cat I found,” she leaned in to explain when she caught Hanjae anxiously looking at him going straight to the back of the store, near the freezers, near the alcohol, with the ease of someone who could do so with his eyes shut. “He’s a good foreign friend.”

“I’m not!” Haruki shouted back, but he was grinning. “Are you not watching the news?”

The noona playfully rolled her eyes, joked back, “What news? You’re not on the news!”

She hushed Hanjae to go catch up with him with an enerved wave, told him to take a look around. “It’s on the house,” she winked. “You’re both so skinny, and you must be working hard, so just take something tasty and leave quickly.”

Trailing a couple feet behind Haruki on the aisle, Hanjae picked up a package of noodles and a modest four-set of Terra cans to accompany his endless Heineken bottles, light green on light green. While Hanjae bagged everything with caution, Haruki slipped a red won note on the balcony when the owner stopped paying attention to them, and off they went again.

Haruki made them walk ten more minutes to the left, and the left, the left again, coming to an abrupt stop in front of an abandoned lot, pure dirt and weeds, the sort that seemed to have turned into an open dump for the neighborhood. It looked no different or less disgusting than the million of others around less central Jungnang; it didn’t look like it could be a spot.

Yet Haruki kept braving straight through the grass without stopping, guiding Hanjae behind him to only step where he was stepping, to keep his eyes glued to the floor and watch out for broken glass. He settled when they were deep into the lot, mere feet away from a big hill. There was a clean view of an uneven street if you looked down, he said, filled with houses that were almost all pretty. Hanjae chose to just trust Haruki’s word on that; he couldn’t dare to come close enough to the drop to peek and see.

Haruki standed the bag of drinks for him to hold, and Hanjae had to do so with both hands. From a spot behind them, he pushed two retriable chairs out of a bulk set against a moldy tree, the metal in them corrupted by rust on the edges, and set them up, sat down, tapped at the other seat with his foot in invitation.

Hanjae took a long and anxious moment to comply. Under him, the chair dangled sideways even if he stayed very, very still.

With the convenience bag back in his domain, Haruki cracked three beers open, and handed Hanjae one, kept the other two: one in each hand, a Heineken and a Terra.

“Never had this one. I heard they’re the same thing,” he said, taking a sip from each and frowning, analyzing them. Hanjae stayed quiet.

He had only drank with his dad and uncles one time, at last year’s Chuseok, and hadn’t been much of a fan of anything. Still, he took a sip of beer.

Haruki at least had grace enough to let him swallow and contain a grimace before asking, with a strange edge to it, “So are you? A bully. A problem child. Part of a gang.”

“No,” Hanjae said, too quickly, too eager. He cleared his throat. “I’m really not, hyung, no.”

“How did it get there, then?” Haruki's look was razor sharp on Hanjae’s once tattooed hand, hard enough to make him freeze. “And why did you remove it? Just to be a trainee?”

Hanjae opened his mouth, but only to take a shaky breath in, swallow a bit more of bitter alcohol. In front of his fleeting eyes, Haruki eased just as quickly as he had hardened.

“Hanjae, we’re teammates now,” he told him. “I showed you my good spot. You can’t give me one word sentences anymore. You can’t lie.”

Hanjae considered this, and considered him from the corner of his eyes. Haruki was the LOOPiN member that Hanjae had come to know best, mostly because they didn’t have a choice, but still, he made an effort, he talked to him; he didn’t let Hanjae fall adrift. And he could have easily turned into an island: from the moment he had been transferred to New Wave, he had been an outsider, a last minute solution to a problem no one would explain to him – who left? Why? Was he worse than them? Was he better?

“You’re better,” Haruki had said, when Hanjae brought it up, late at night while they had dinner alone, in the practice room, sweating and panting – a week until their debut happened. He was the only one who had bothered to tell him so. He sounded like he meant it, too. Hanjae remembers catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror over his shoulder, hair bright brown and unfamiliar, thinking even for a fleeting moment: I’m doing enough.

It was fair for him to be the first to know – the first for Hanjae to disappoint.

“I got it removed before,” he heard himself say. It was a secret, so it came out like one: whispered, slow. “Before I wanted to train. I got it with friends– my dance crew friends. It was our logo, or at least, it was going to be, one day. But I… I did a bad thing, and it stopped making sense. It didn’t fit. I didn’t fit, so. It had to go.”

The vagueness did nothing but pique Haruki’s interest. He seated more properly, then less properly; ended up putting his feet on the seat of the chair, slouching with his head supported on his knee, the exact body language of, ‘Tell me, tell me, tell me.’

“My friend– my best friend, from childhood, our team captain. He used to have a girlfriend. A girl from our class, a dancer too, someone he had been in love with forever. Later she became part of the group, and we got close, we turned into friends, and then not. Not quite that. They broke up and one hour later we got together, on the same day. We got caught. It was a mess. Everyone thought it was a shitty thing to do, that it was cheating, cheating on everyone. But I just wanted her to be my girlfriend, back then– Back then, I wanted a girlfriend more than I wanted anything...”

Hanjae felt it coming, again: the desire to recoil a bit more on himself in shame. How pathetic he had been, then; how miserable, how sad, how lonely.

He took a timid peek to the side, ready to see an irk of dismay on Haruki’s face, some justified disgust, and was surprised to not see any of that. Haruki had grown passionate and invested in the whole story, something new in his eyes, a third bottle halfway drained in his hand.

He moved his chin up, as if saying, ‘Go on’, but Hanjae couldn’t. He drained the rest of the beer.

Haruki clicked his tongue like that wouldn’t do. He shoved his chair a few inches closer so he could grab at Hanjae's arm and said, all at once, “We can not– Hanjae, look, listen, we can not be blamed for all the things, the crazy things we do when love…!” He didn't finish the sentence, just amended it into another one: “You were a teenager, you both were, and very, very brave. Very brave to tell her and date her and keep dating her even if. They were just– bad friends. Just bad friends.”

They weren’t bad friends, Hanjae knew; they weren’t the ones in the wrong. But it hurted to say it out loud, to admit what he knew was still true: how easily he burned bridges for attention, for affection, so he never did. He just knew – looked at his reflection on surfaces and knew.

He rolled and rolled the tap of the Terra until it fell off, into the can. “Did you really quit college, hyung?” Was what he asked the wind.

Haruki shifted on his seat; Hanjae could only tell because of the way it creaked. “More like college quit me,” he said, with a sad huff of air that might have been a laugh, and dropped Hanjae’s arm, drank from his bottle too.

Sadness fell over them like a veil from then on. The Terras ended and Haruki didn’t mind sharing all the other stuff he had, and the longer it went on the less shy Hanjae felt about asking. At some point Haruki said, “I guess we really fucked up, uh – with 2on1,” and Hanjae, whipping a foam mustache off his face, “Minwoo’s not talking to me,” and Haruki, almost falling over with laugher, “Oh, my, I bet not! Ha. I bet not…”, and turned reticent, fell quiet.

His eyes, Hanjae had noticed, kept darting to a spot ahead in between conversation, beyond the drop of the hill, dazed. He violently shook his head sideways everytime he caught himself drifting too far away, and ran a hand over his face, rubbing at it in a way that made Hanjae look at him in worry.

Haruki found it hilarious each time. “What is it,” he eventually said, slower than normal, harder to understand, “With you, your face?”

He got up from his chair, a sudden move that sent it falling to the floor, a loud squeak, and walked even closer.

In front of Hanjae, right in front of him, he leaned forward until he got both his hands on his face, and said, pushing the corners of his mouth up, “The mood is so– Bad! So bad! Smile! Big smile! C’mon, give me a big smile!”

There had been dirt on Haruki’s hand, and Hanjae could vaguely taste it, with how close to his lips he was pressing. He still wore his inner braces back then; he kept cutting his tongue on the same spot, never healing, never telling, and he could feel the inside of his cheeks pressing onto that sharp place, about to be pierced through.

For a moment, they stayed quiet, looking at each other head on. Hanjae was not smiling. His heart had picked up a quick pace inside his chest, was drumming – Haruki was so close, and he was so beautiful, a true magazine type beauty, all symmetry, and Hanjae knew this, but not with this much conviction, not with so much emotion.

“Ah, you know what? I like you. I decided. I do like you, now…” Haruki said, and then he grinned, bringing his face even nearer. He took a breath and Hanjae felt it on his own nose, and didn’t know what to do about it; his mind, for a moment, went static. “Nothing will happen to you, friend. I promise it. ‘Will not let it.”

Hanjae’s held breath was a painful thing to let out of his chest. “Was something– Was something going to…?”

Haruki huffed a laugh and gave his cheeks two playful taps, said, with a new found determination, “Handsome guy. Do not get sad. I will fix this for you,” and let Hanjae’s face go.

He straightened his back up and swayed slightly to the side, running a hand over his hair, fixing his bangs back into place. Haruki told him, “Late. No booze. Night over”, and extended that same hand for Hanjae to take – Hanjae who still felt like his face had gone numb, blood rushing to it.

He took the hand, and they made their way back to the dorm that way, hanging close; Like magnets, Hanjae remembers thinking, idly, and then not idly at all. Haruki’s hands were leaving behind a pressure everywhere they touched, a heat that Hanjae couldn’t shake off – he just couldn’t shake it off.

Later, when Hanjae layed in bed, sheet drawn over his entire body, he could still feel it. When he woke up the morning after, nauseated but still in the group, still safe, he could still feel it.

If he closes his eyes now, right now, he can still feel it – the sad sort of burn of a premonition misread.

January 13, 2022.

Los Angeles is sunny in a way Haegon would love to see and pretend to hate – a saddening thought Hanjae had since they landed, and that comes back to haunt him while he looks at the city passing by on the van’s window, sidewalks all golden.

Haegon’s not a loud person in his eyes, but his absence is a loud thing, pouring the life out of everyone, mostly because of the way it had been forced on them.

It had been a horrifying way to open the year: having to come forward right on the first day of 2022 to the press, headlining Haegon’s mugging and the accident, his follow up hiatus and excuse out of their ‘We Do’ promotions in the USA. And then there was having to deal with Haegon in private, angry and disappointed, not wanting to take his pain medicine, shoving his room’s door in everyone's faces, dismissing every checkup attempt with an annoyed, “It’s just a minor concussion, what the Hell! I’m not fucking dying! Get the fuck off me, I’m fine, get off, just fuck off already to the States without me! Go on! Just– just leave me already!”

They’re driving out of some media company studio around the center of Los Angeles, where they filmed two twenty minute videos in a roll, more embarrassing games than actual interviews, and Hanjae has already spent all of his ability to mend English words together.

It could have been more fun, one of their staff said, but they had to pass on the puppy interview format because of Taesong’s allergies, and Jiahang’s been dead set on pretending to be sad about it during the entire ride back to the hotel; crocodile tears and all.

Hanjae has to deal with him from the last seat on the far opposite side of the van, resting his fried blonde head against his shoulder, sighing loudly, because Dylan is also not here to amuse him – he took a bus home to Santa Monica and will stay home until they leave in two days time.

Hanjae doesn’t like provoking Taesong, doesn’t like to spoil Jiahang, but that means very little in the grand escape of the group, that goes about poking fun of Taeng like it’s a sport, that’s stuck in a position where they really can’t say no to J.J, who owns company shares; he shoots the meek figure of Taesong an apologetic look as Jiahang’s act carries on, trying to tell him: ‘I’m not a part of this, I just don’t know how to stop it.’

Thankfully, the hotel isn’t that far away, and it’s a quick torture – up until things takes a turn for the worse.

As they park and start to step out, Beomseok’s long arm blocks the door before he and Jiahang can put a single leg outside of the car.

“Stop,” he tells J.J, harsh enough to make Hanjae stumble a step back. Beomseok points a finger right at Jiahang’s face, and inch from touching his nose, says, “Stop being a fucking problem. Stop.”

It makes Jiahang livid, turns his ears bright red. He takes long stomps to the elevator, and Hanjae has to jog to keep up with him – Jiahang really has the longest legs Hanjae has ever seen on a person.

“He’s got such a stick up his ass!” He keeps on saying, barging into the room they’re both sharing with Dylan and Zhiming – angrily tossing his bag into his ‘cheap dollar store bed with the cheap dollar store sheets’ that made him go into a very similar rant last night. “He thinks he’s the only one who cares about Gon, the only one who can bother. He’s so wrong. I’m fucking worried too! I’m calling him too! I miss him! I’m more of a friend to him than that weirdo is. He’s so weird. He thinks he owns Haegon and everyone and everything, just because he’s older, just because he trained for like, one billion years! Like it’s my fault Starship thought he was too ugly to join NO.MERCY!”

“You were being annoying, Jiahang,” O.z deadpans from the corner he’s tucked in, without looking up from his manhwa.

Jiahang grunts louder. “Yeah, that was the point. Taesong knows I’m just joking around! Everyone knows!”

Zhiming lowers the comic from his face, flipping a page. His eyes have deep dark circles behind his thick glasses, marks that never go away. “Unnecessary.”

Jiahang rolls his eyes, putting his hair up on an ugly bun. He turns his back to Zhiming’s bed and mouths at Hanjae, mocking, ‘Unnecessary’.

Hanjae shrugs at him, and that annoys J.J too. He angrily puts on a movie on the tiny TV, gets a hold of his bed’s pillow and wraps himself around it, mumbling something under his breath still. The tags on the streaming app read comedy, musical. He chews on a poor nail while humming along the first song, and Hanjae tries to humor him with a tiny, “Is that Ariana Grande sunbaenim?”

It doesn’t work. Jiahang shoves his face into his pillow and says, miserable and muffled, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hang around with you, you’re so lame. I miss Dylan so much.”

“He invited you to go with him,” Hanjae says, helplessly. “You said you didn’t want to.”

“Of course I didn’t want to! I would have to sleep on the floor. In a bag, on the floor. And I don’t think his grandma would like me – I don’t think anyone in his family would like me,” he turns his face around, off the pillow. Hanjae can hear clearly when he says, “He needs time alone with them. For the anxieties.”

“The anxieties?” Hanjae asks him, very slowly.

Jiahang presses his mouth shut tight, straights himself up again. He undoes his ponytail, tosses his long, long hair from one side to the other, behind his ears.

He takes a quick look at Zhiming, and Hanjae does too, and they go by uncaught; O.z’s got his big headphones in now, eyes glued to his comic book.

Jiahang is still careful to whisper, “The rest of you don’t get what it's like, when you’re away from your home every day, when you know all the people you’re going to see aren’t all the ones you know – when you got family that’s like, old, and you know that time’s passing. You’re losing days with them. It gets scary, after a while. Dylan’s grandad will be 82 this year, hyung – that’s a terrifying number, that’s a maybe. That’s the anxiety. Mine, his– Zhiming’s, too. Foreign member anxiety.”

Hanjae nods, sharp. Jiahang makes a face at him, brighter – smiles, says like a tease, “Not Haruki’s, though. Haruki doesn’t miss Japan at all, if that’s what you’re wondering. He’s not anxious about that.”

Hanjae blinks. Opens his mouth, closes it, blinks again. “I wasn’t going to ask–” 

“Sure thing. Suuuuure,” J.J says slyly, and goes back to watching TV, and Hanjae does too. Gulps, keeps looking at the movie, tries to pay attention.

Jiahang put on korean subtitles for him, yet he keeps talking – explaining everything. It’s a nice enough movie, he says. Good songs, nice enough movie.

They’re reaching the end of it, seeing every main character gather in a protest around town, when Haruki barges into their room.

“Are any of you not gonna rot inside this hotel?” He asks, loudly, quickly. “Is anyone going to do anything? Catch some sun?”

“Hanjae’s supposed to be going out,” Zhiming tells him. He’s also watching the movie now, has Jiahang by his side, explaining to him what he missed.

“Oh?” Haruki says, and looks around the room, eyes a little clouded, until they land on Hanjae. He smiles, and it stretches across his face quick and big, like he’s actually glad to see him, like the effect is instantaneous. Hanjae can’t for the life of him look at it head on. “Perfect. That’s just perfect, I’m going with you, Hanhan, just wait for me to get changed!”

“Okay,” Hanjae says, and hops off the bed too quickly, sits back down. “I– Waiting.”

Immediately after Haruki leaves Jiahang gives him a long look over Zhiming’s shoulder, and Hanjae pretends not to see it.

“You’re too easy,” he says, with a disapproving nod of his head, and Hanjae pretends he doesn’t hear it, pretends it doesn’t sting.

It’s humiliating, being reminded that people know – that they look at him and know, and he’s reminded of it constantly.

“Hanjae’s sad, sad bisexual awakening,” was how Jiahang put it, sing-a-song in the studio, while making this very single they’re promoting now. “Worse, worse than Minwoo’s– Is that a verse? Can we put that on a song, on the album?”

Minwoo said, for the two of them, “Fuck you.”

And there that one time, the one he remembers clearly, when Seo CEO said he wanted to sit down to watch them practicing ‘Love Me Right’ before the big release, and Taesong pushed Hanjae aside, told him, “Hanjae, you– if you need to check the choreo, please look at the instruction video. Don’t look at Haruki like that, there’s no need to look like you–”

There had to be a separation, he realized; he had to get it under control.

So Hanjae made friends with the people Haruki seemed to not stand, which sometimes meant everyone, but mostly meant J.J and Beomseok – two extremes of very opposite lines. He’s built a line of separation, wrapped himself up in Haruki repellent, and he tries to live by it.

It’s a frail line, a shitty line, and it comes crashing down all the time, with the little moments; single minutes where things feel kind between them, different. A bottle of water and a perfectly folded towel passed to him backstage, a group conversation where Haruki eventually says, like clockwork, “And you, Hanjae? What do you think?”; no one else says that. There’s this lingering nearness coming from him, like there's always something Haruki wants to say or do but can’t, something he wants to check.

It makes Hanjae wonder – makes him come back to that one friendly night, hang on to it. The way Haruki had been so near, his exact tone of voice when he said that he liked him, considered him a friend, thought he was handsome, was going to fix whatever was wrong.

[...]

“So what are we doing?” Haruki asks when they step onto the sidewalk.

“Just filming my Loop Log,” Hanjae responds. “Deadline’s tonight.”

“Shit, that,” Haruki groans, taking his cap off to push hair out of his eyes, putting it on again. “I forgot all about that. ‘Haven’t filmed mine either. ‘Think I lost my camera.”

“I can help you look,” Hanjae offers. “When we get home.”

“Well, thank you,” Haruki says, and steps closer, slides an arm over Hanjae’s shoulder, tells him, “For now, I guess we’ll just have to stick tight. LOOPiN 2on1, reunited in L.A…!”

At Hanjae’s timid request, Chihoon made him a list of what he should get to ‘live his best tourist life’, what the fans might want to see him try: pancakes, bacon and eggs, ice cream, anything in the menu that looks like it could have come off a cartoon, any ‘house specials’.

They go into the nearest place listed with the camera on hand, and have to explain with their Frankenstein English that they want to make a vlog, can they make a vlog? They can, a waiter says, but only in a specific area; they get taken there.

Hanjae orders the house special, and it's a crazy looking Banana Split. Haruki settles for waffles, and they decide to start filming when the food arrives.

Any chance of small talk between them goes fully stall when Hanjae asks, right at their waiter steps away, as the opening topic: “Have you talked to Haegon?”

Haruki’s dangling hand on the table stills. He smiles weird, notices it looks weird, drops it: “Ah, no. No…” and goes silent, makes Hanjae go silent too.

The food comes, they start filming. Hanjae’s meticulously trying to extract a tiny piece of strawberry from a block of ice cream, all while only looking through the camera’s lens, when Haruki’s phone jumps to life, ringing.

He takes it out of his pocket, places it screen flat on the table without looking at the receiver once, mutes it with one hand, adds a mountain of maple syrup to his food with the other.

“Not important,” Haruki reassures Hanjae when he catches him looking at the buzzing phone, an inch away from falling off the edge. He forks the food and stands his hand across the table, says, with his Idol voice, “Wanna try?”

It’s good sweet food, all of it. The camera goes back and forth between them, hand to hand. Haruki makes him pretend they’re shooting a commercial, at some point, makes him do a different pose with every bite, and Hanjae tries to not lose control of his face with all the wooing, all the praise.

It’s fanservice, and Haruki’s good at it. It makes for good content. Everything: good.

Outside, bill paid, they take shelter from the sun and check the recording; thirty raw minutes of footage.

“Hanjae,” Haruki says, looking up after skimming the video, solemn. Hanjae leans a bit forward, eyes a little wide.“The Log will turn out very boring if this is all we do.”

It is, indeed, not the best vlog Hanjae’s ever made. Not that he’s ever been any good at them, or at anything on the media side of the job outside of music covers or choreography making. He’s seen the views on his solo variety content, Sangwon walked him through them all last month, said: nothing special.

They barely talked in 30 minutes – Hanjae didn't initiate a single conversation with him.

Quickly, Haruki’s eyes narrow as he scans the area around them, and Hanjae tries to keep up. He looks for a long moment at the barracks of food, at a man selling balloons, and finally lands far ahead, on a group of kids running on the sand. The leading one trips on air and falls face first on the ground, immediately wails, and they let out matching startled, horrified laughs.

Haruki jogs until he’s in front of him, and turns to walk backwards, closer to where the sidewalk gives into the beach.

“You wanna do that?” He arches a perfect eyebrow. “Run around on the beach with me. Like we’re in a movie.”

Hanjae steps on a stone, lands his other feet on the ground wrong. “I– No.”

“No? Well, I’m doing it! It’s what the vlog’s missing! Trust me, if we do this, it’ll fix everything,” he says, and before Hanjae can even think of what to reply, turns around and starts running on the sand, straight ahead.

Haruki’s already bent over near the ocean when Hanjae catches up with him, folding his jeans until they stop at his knees, barefoot. He insists: “Let’s go, let’s do it, you’re already here, it’s going to be fun, the fans will like it, let’s do it, let’s do it!”

With a resigned sigh, Hanjae unties his sneakers.

Haruki approaches a family nearby and asks for a beach chair, gets a yes. They place the camera cautiously on it, set it with a big zoom ahead. Haruki leaves his phone there, too, with a careless toss, and Hanjae can hear it announcing another call as he steps away, trailing exactly behind him – footprint over footprint, back near the ocean and then on the ocean.

“I thought– Hyung, I thought we were going to just walk,” Hanjae says, stopping. The salt water is a chill foam around his foot.

“Yeah,” Haruki flashes him a smile over his shoulder. He’s about to be knees deep, is taking his Hawaiian shirt off, Hanjae realizes now, with a flush. “We’re walking. Into the water.”

Hanjae catches the shirt when he throws it over his shoulder, looks at it, up at him. He takes a step closer. “Manager Choi’s– Haruki, he’s going to complain!”

“Fuck him!” Haruki tells him with a laugh. He says, with meaning: “Fuck him, fuck New Wave, let them complain, I’m going for a dive and no one can stop me!”

And then he dives, swims, disappears under the water for a long moment. Hanjae stays planted where he is, at a loss of words. When Haruki reemerges, pushing a curtain off black hair off his eyes, and walks back splashing water at him. By the time they’re side by side again, it looks like Hanjae took a dive, too.

“Are you…” He starts to say, eyeing Haruki worryingly, but then the family from before calls back to them, says they’re leaving, they need the chair back, and Haruki claps him on the shoulder, smiles widely, races him to reach them.

“Look,” Haruki says when they’re checking the footage, back on the sidewalk, showing Hanjae a clip: the two of them, a little blurry, walking. “We even got your good smile.”

“My good smile?” Hanjae echoes.

“Not to imply you have a bad one, because you don’t have a bad one,” Haruki says, and bumps their shoulders together. He has just put his shirt back on, is wearing it unbuttoned. “You just have one that’s relaxed, easy. A rare one.”

“Hm,” Hanjae responds, looking away, rolling a rock under his feet.

The walk back to the hotel is calm, windy. The sky’s cotton candy pink and it all looks like a movie, Hanjae thinks. He looks down, and their hands are loose, hanging close, like it would be in a movie.

The end credits roll when they get in the hotel’s lobby, and find Sangwon there – just right there. He catches sight of them immediately, like an alert dog; a quick jump off his seat, a stall near.

He seems to consider them like an equation, frowning: he takes in their wet hair, the wet clothes, the leftover traces of sand, solves it, fumes.

“Do you have any idea,” he says, and he’s struggling to look at the two of them, to not just gawk at Haruki – to not bare his teeth to Haruki only. “Any idea, you two, of how irresponsible this whole stunt was? You’re out on a foreign land. You know no one – no one. When I– The company, if the company calls, you pick your phone. It’s how it works. Pick your phone, immediately.”

Hanjae checks his own phone, a quick glance: no calls.

“Choi-nim,” he says, not looking directly at him, because he lost the ability over the years. Sangwon’s gaze now makes him incredibly anxious. He takes the camera out of where its hanging around his neck, stands it. “I notified– On the calendar, I added– We were just filming–”

“No need to explain, Hanjae,” Haruki interrupts, and puts a hand on Hanjae’s shoulder, steps in front of him, puts himself between him and Sangwon. “Go up. You did nothing wrong. It’s okay. Hyung’s going to solve this with the manager.” He turns straight to Choi-nim and bows, so pristine, so polite: “I take full responsibility for today. It was all me. I’m really sorry if I caused you stress.”

Sangwon considers him for a long moment, taking in the bend of his elbows, like he’s trying to measure his sincerity – there’s almost none of it, Hanjae can tell. He sighs, and then he adjusts his shirt, picks at the cufflinks of his uniform, breaths – his nostrils taking over his entire face.

“You’re dismissed,” Sangwon tells Hanjae, icely, with a corner of the eye glance.

“Sir, I–”

“Dismissed.”

“Go on,” Haruki encourages him, giving Hanjae’s shoulder a firm tap. And then he runs a hand over Hanjae’s hair, messes it up until his wet bangs are glued to his forehead, which he’s never done before; not with him, not with anyone, as far as Hanjae’s aware.

Hesitantly, Hanjae steps away, goes to take the elevator. He keeps looking at them over his shoulder, watching them trail away with growing uneasiness. Haruki keeps looking back at him until he can’t: Sangwon gets the door of the hotel open, shoves him by the shoulder out.

Up in his hotel room, Hanjae showers for a long time. There’s sand on a spot on his elbow where Haruki gave him a tap, and it takes him a while to notice.

He comes off the shower and goes straight to laying down. Zhiming, who had been awake when he came in, is also in his bed now, fully still.

He turns over once, and then again, goes back on his side. “Zhiming hyung?” Hanjae whispers. “You’re awake?”

When Zhiming finally responds, it’s with a minimal grunt, a tiny quick of his socked foot. “What.”

“Do you,” Hanjae chews on the words, “Do you think I have a good smile?”

A pause, a loud sigh. “You’re an Idol. You should hope so.”

“Okay. Okay, so what about– What about me do you think, what looks bad?”

Slowly, very slowly, Zhiming raises his upper body on his elbows. His air is a mess, recently dyed from gray to black too quickly. Without his glasses, he’s forced to squint at Hanjae, even this close, with their beds separated by a very narrow space.

“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

Hanjae takes in a sharp breath, and nods – puts a hand over his eyes, nods again. Stupid, so stupid.

“Nothing,” He says. “Nothing, just– Forget it. I’m sorry, just– Sorry.”

Zhiming goes back to laying down with a loud ‘oof’. He says, a crude whisper, “Don’t go out alone with him if it’ll make you come back like that.”

And with that Hanjae decides he must sleep, immediately, and end this day already.

It was just a day, he tells himself, rubbing at the scarred spot on his hand; a flower in eternal bloom, once. Just one good day. Drop it, forget it, erase it.

February 15, 2022.

“C’mon, you guys, c’moooon! On a scale of one to ten–”

“Na Seungsoo,” Minwoo’s voice rings out like a warning; an elastic pulled far above its limit, about to snap back into place, hard. “Shut your goddamn mouth.”

“She’s right there,” Haegon adds, equally as ultraged. “Are you dumb? Do you want to die?”

“Light up, you two. We’re just talking hypotheticals. I’m not actually gonna fuck our mananger,” Seungsoo says, crossing his arms, raising his chin high – his posture the embodiment of a practical joke about to take action. “That would be desperate and unprofessional, and I am none of these things.”

“You’re extremely unprofessional,” Jiahang laughs at him, a little mean – all his laughs have something a little mean about them, Hanjae can’t help but notice, when Seungsoo’s involved. “And extremely desperate. You just fucked our sound assistant. We no longer have a sound assistant, because you fucked her.”

“So did Jimin!”

“A fluke,” Zhiming defends himself. “Not happening again.”

“It’s never a fluke with you, Seungsoo. You’re such a man whore. A man whore for staff. Even Sangwon could have pulled you when he was around if he had a pair of tits,” Haegon notes, and Seungsoo gasps, mutters, scandalized, ‘You bastard!’, raises a fist up as if he’s going to hit him, and everyone’s laughing. Hanjae contributes with a grimace. “You’re that gross, you’re really that disgusting, all it would take–”

Behind them, Dylan begins to violently choke on a bite out of his granola bar, hard enough for the whole photo studio to freeze.

Taesong stands up immediately to check on him, and so does Jungwha, their three day old manager, Choi Sangwon’s definitive substitute and the topic of Seungsoo’s most recent infatuation: she rushes forward to aid alongside an assistant, a cup of water materialized out of thin air on her hand, like a trained lifeguard.

It’s too early for any of them to get a good read on her, but Hanjae has working eyes, so he will admit Junghwa is good looking in a mature sort of way, a bit above the ‘K-Pop staff adequate’. She’s not far from Seungsoo’s type, given the fact that he pretty much doesn’t have one. Hanjae has seen him flirt with Seo CEO’s third ex-wife, the second ex-wife, all of Minwoo’s half sisters and, in a disastrous attempt, Dylan’s mom. ("She's just so young, Chihoon! I thought she was your cousin!"

"I don't have a single cousin and you know that! You went for my mom, you animal, the least you can do is own it!")

“Holy shit, Chihoon,” Seungsoo says, tapping him on the back with one hand, fanning him with the other. “You’re alright?”

“My bad– False alarm, guys, my bad–!”, Dylan mutters, still coughing, watery eyes quick in their attempt to scan the room for something, someone.

Hanjae follows their frantic trail until they land on the quiet figure of Haruki by the coffee machine, his back to them, shoulders rigid and on display – wearing the same suit outfit Hanjae has been put on, his in a shade more close to purple than blue.

It fits Haruki splendidly, as must things do.

“Alright, boys, hey, boys!” Jungwha calls out when Dylan’s lungs go back to normal, clapping her hands one loud time. “Break’s over! It’s the real deal, now! So let’s try to have a good day at work today! Fighting!”

They’re set to scatter in trios and duos, the old unit formations, except for Haegon, who’s still on hiatus, still has stitches all over the crown of his head. He only made it because Haruki insisted, and he’s always insisting, lately: “How can we do well without our cheerleader,” he told Haegon in the morning, “Our cute, adorable cheerleader, my very favorite little brother–!”

“Hi,” Hanjae mutters, tapping Haruki gently in the shoulder. Haruki jumps, catching his breath, and Hanjae drops his hand, shoves it behind his own back. “Ah, sorry, if I– I was just going to say we should–”

But Haruki is turning and splinting in front of him before all the words are out, growing out of earshot, out of hold, entering a hallway on the left.

Hanjae, embarrassed, follows.

They’re supposed to go to room 4, but Haruki walks right past it. Hanjae calls back to him from the door, says, “Hyung, that’s not the–”, and then his voice falters, dies out.

Haruki’s already quick pace has grown even quicker, and he’s now running towards the door at the end of the corridor, the one with a red sign written ‘TERRACE’ over it – really running, to the point his body almost slams against the metal when he stops. The door handle makes a loud noise as he tries to push it open, can’t make it, tries again, harder – manages to step out with a strong shove. Hanjae goes after him, frowning, worried.

Outside, the terrace is a gray space, almost the same tone as the sky – rain’s a strong promise on the horizon, a reasonable fear.

Haruki’s standing right at the center. He tries to take in a big and loud gulp of air, can’t, makes a choking sound, lets out a hiss. Hanjae can feel the acute panic coming off him like electricity, gluing itself to his very own skin. He reminds himself to breathe.

Haruki stands an arm out and that’s the distance between them, that’s the nearest he’ll let Hanjae get.

“What’s– What’s happening, what’s wrong, what–?”

“Just,” he’s trembling bad. “Leave, I need– Leave.”

“Now?” Hanjae asks, and he’s making himself bite down on the trail of: ‘But the shoot’, ‘But the gig’, ‘But the job’ so hard, he’s actually got his teeth sinking on his lip.

Haruki nods, sharp and final, and Hanjae feels himself nodding back, frenetic. “Okay, stay– stay here, okay, you’ll leave– we’re leaving, just stay here.”

Hanjae walks back into the building with his head very low, tries to not walk too quickly to bring attention to himself, feels like he’s falling; feels like the whole world is looking at him. He holds his breath while sneaking back into the room they’re using as a closet, picks his and Haruki’s things like a thief: pushing everything into their bags without folding, eyes anxiously looking behind his back, flinching at every outside noise coming through the door.

Haruki’s phone is the last thing he grabs. He only becomes aware of it because it starts ringing. He looks at the screen, a quick run of his eyes. The contact name reads: ‘Don’t Answer Don’t Answer Don’t Answer.’

On the roof, Haruki’s sitting on the floor, resting his forehead against the wall. The back half of an air conditioner hangs close to him, and the leftover water pools near his feet, turning the hem of his pants dark.

They put on the yellow raincoats, plastic hood all the way up, and make a clumsy escape out the studio; Hanjae babbles something at the receptionist about there being equipment in the van, and the woman gives them a distracted ‘go ahead’ nod, an empty courtesy smile.

They walk without a plan, enter on the first bus that stops close: Haruki on the lead, completely reticent, Hanjae only following. There’s still a trail of glitter going down his neck, shiny with sweat, red from stress, Hanjae notices when they sit down. He’s still crying, still whipping at his runny nose with the expensive fabric of his shirt.

Hanjae looks down at his own clothes, the suit vest with no shirt under, a design piece New Wave doesn’t own – he’s wearing eyeliner, a strong smokey eye. They look expensive, and to an outsider, probably peculiar, weird. They don’t even have masks on…

Maybe, Hanjae hopes, trying to hold on to any trail of optimism possible, they could pass as very dedicated cover dancers, maybe–

The sound of Hanjae’s phone ringing makes them both jump in their seats. Haruki comes out of his state of anxious inertia to put a hand on his knee, pressing on it to get his attention. He says, through his teeth, “Do not– Hanjae, do not.”

Hanjae lets the phone ring out. He looks at the receiver: Uhm Junghwa (Manager).

Haruki’s peeking at it too. “Off,” he says, and it’s off.

It’s raining when they step out of the bus. They get maybe five feet down the sidewalk when a phone rings again – this time, Haruki’s. He comes to a sudden halt, and Hanjae bumps into his back and gets a close view of how, in an act of blind rage, he throws it hard on the floor.

“Fuck!” Haruki says, and steps on it once, twice, cracks the screen then the whole device in half. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Hanjae looks at him, wide eyed, mouth hanging open, and watches him pace around, a tense moment, until he loses all steam, goes sit by the closest wall.

Haruki stays for a long time there, one hand gripping the fence, the other pressing over his face, being rained on. Cautiously, Hanjae slides his raincoat off, squats down, close to him, and stands it over both their heads. Rain drips directly into his shoulder, makes a cold path down his neck.

“I hope your–,” a hiccup, a sniff, a faint and unconvincing attempt from Haruki of laughing them both off, “your fantasy’s still– still up.”

“My…?”

“Can you not,” Haruki says, a hiss, “Not look.”

Hanjae complies, doesn’t look. Behind them, a car runs close to the sidewalk, splashes a wave of rainwater on their backs.

“Sasaeng?” Hanjae tries, “Is it a sasaeng, or…”

Haruki lets out a bitter snort. “Imja,” he says, and it makes more sense that he means ‘owner’ rather than ‘marriage partner’; Hanjae can’t hear anything else, can’t connect anything else to something he knows and decode it.

His throat has gone dry, sandy. He clears it, and still, his voice comes off clipped. “Your…? Ah. Ah, I didn’t know– Didn’t know you have someone you were–”

“You know him,” Haruki says. “For years. You– you’ve known him. He gave you your job– Made your job happen.”

It takes a long moment for it to click, for the shape of manager Choi to come to Hanjae’s mind. Haruki’s looking at him like he’s expecting Hanjae to do something horrible: mouth set for a fight, eyes so red they look like they’ve been painted over.

“Hyung,” Hanjae breathes. His voice is an even quieter thing, afraid. “Do you mean– Are you being serious?”

“Am I! Am I serious?!”

He’s up again, quick – Hanjae loses his equilibrium and falls back on the street. Haruki doesn’t wait for him to get up to resume stomping.

It takes two street turns for Hanjae to understand they’re detouring from the dorms.

They sit on another bus stop bench, hop on another bus. A quiet and tense drive, this one. Haruki’s no longer crying, just grinding his teeth.

They go to the front gates of a tiny building, their final destination, and Haruki tells the security guard an apartment number, wais to be buzzed in. He does soon, and Hanjae, yet to be told to leave, goes up with him on the stairs.

Delilah gets the door he bangs on, and Hanjae’s stuck blinking at the sight of her, who shouldn’t still be in Korea. Haruki barges into her place like a hurricane: shoes still on, pushing her a little back, closer to the wall.

They both stare at the spot he occupied on the corridor a second ago, a held breath.

She recovers much quicker than he does. Deh tucks a long lock of her caramel hair behind her ear, greets him with an awkward, “Hanjae, hi. Hi...”, and Hanjae gets overwhelmed by too many things at once; how glad he is to see her, the shame of how they had parted. Her sad face when she told everyone she couldn’t stand to work with them anymore.

“You’re back.”

“I am! I am back!” Deh says. “How could I not! Europe’s too gray for me. The food’s too bad, and...” She sucks air through her teeth, takes an anxious look behind her, back inside. “... And all that.”

Hanjae shakes his head, agrees – agrees to all that even though he has no idea what all that is. There’s a pool of spit on his mouth, and he has to concentrate on gulping it down, has to try more than once.

“Hanjae, baby, look– I’ll send him on his way later. Maybe tonight. Or tomorrow morning. Just…” She trials off. “Please don’t tell the others we met, okay? I don’t want Seungsoo looking for me or asking around. I don’t want to see him again, ever.”

Fair, Hanjae thinks. After everything, fair.

Deh flashes him a final grim before closing the door, still awkward, and it doesn’t last. She drops it for a split second, fully drops it, looks instead concerned, anxious.

Hanjae waits a moment, then moves before he knows it. He presses his ear against the shut door, closes his eyes and hopes to catch anything. A creek of wood. A vacuum cleaner being turned off. The sound of someone channel surfing. Deh saying what might be, “Haruki, what do you want me to do? I can’t know, love. I can’t know if you don’t tell me.”

Another sound drowns everything, nearer. Someone from the apartment on the left starts to unlock their door, it’s about to walk out, and it leaves Hanjae panicking, it makes him jog all the way out of the building, nonstop.

He makes the inverse way back home, alone. His own phone is a hot thing in his back pocket. When he gets to the dorm, Chihoon is the first person he bumps into, planted right beside the shoe rack. Hanjae’s seen him in this set of clothes, short shorts and a knockoff Pokemon shirt, more than he’s seen his own dad’s face these last few years.

Dylan grabs at Hanjae when he notices it’s him, pushes him back out quickly. He puts a finger in front of his mouth – quiet.

“I’ve given you some cover,” he whispers. They’re circling the house, Hanjae realizes, going to the backyard. “Said you were not feeling well. It won’t fly with Minwoo or Taesong, so think of something. And you're not gonna get paid this month, because of the clothes. Neither of you will.” He looks around, eyes sharp in a way Hanjae didn’t think they could be. “Where is he?”

“Deh’s,” Hanjae blurts out, and remembers he promised not to speak of her, grows meek.

He’s tired, deep in the bones tired, from all the walking, all the running. The socks inside his sneakers are still wet, his fingers have gone cold.

“Good,” Dylan says, remarkably unsurprised. “That’s good enough.”

There’s a moment of silence between them. In Hanjae’s head, a pinned image every time he blinks: Haruki’s eyes, red like a bruise.

“Chihoon hyung, I think– I think there’s something wrong with–”

Dylan’s grip on his arm is steady, but no longer comforting when he says, “Hanjae, listen, yes. Yes. Something’s wrong. Too many things–” He shakes his head, clicks his tongue once, and again. “No need for you to worry about it, because there’s nothing you can really do, okay? It’s been too long, now. The time for anyone to really do anything, over.”

He looks like he doesn’t want to be saying it, like all those words taste bitter, bad.

“So just keep being nice,” Dylan concludes, and his voice breaks at the end. “Be nice with him right now, alright? And patient, and normal, just like always, and…”

Dylan doesn’t say what else. He looks down, and Hanjae follows. Near their feet, a trail of black nicotine ash and tiny bits of paper; someone’s worry, someone’s wait.Kind, maybe, Hanjae concludes on his own. Maybe kind was what he was going to say.

March 12th & a Bit Of 13th, 2022.

Sunyoung immediately strikes Hanjae as someone who’s never held a small house party before, and it’s a bit painful to see her try.

She greets them at the door, a little overdressed: Chanel earrings, Chanel bag. “Is that everyone?”, she asks, craning her neck to peek behind them, and when they mumble ‘yes’ she visibly withers.

Taesong steps in front of them to give her a gift – a flower vase so yellow Zhiming had to look away from it, rubbing at his eyes.

She stares at it for a minute, frowns hard, then composes herself, says, “Ah! Thank you so much, oppa! This is so– Yeah, thanks! But you didn’t have to! Gon, baby! I said they didn’t have to!”

“I told you they don’t listen to me,” Haegon mutters. There’s a dark cloud over his face and Sunyoung seems to not mind it. She squeezes his arm when he passes her by, smiles at him prettily. 

She checks the corridor one more time, and for a moment Hanjae thinks she looks sad; that she looks angry.

The party is a housewarming party for the brand new double storey apartment in Nine One Hannam she’s sharing with her BombShell leader Yoorim, who strongly opposed herself to throwing anything. Hanjae catches a glimpse of her looking displeased and bothered behind the kitchen aisle, and bows his head a little – she rolls her eyes, turns her back on him, disappears behind a small group of people.

Beomseok refused to come, decided to take the afternoon to go grocery shopping, the night to visit family he can’t take Haegon to see; the side that calls him a parasite. It had been a clear jab, right at Haegon’s face. Even Minwoo thought it was insensitive, and his response to the invite had been nothing but a disgusted face that spelled out ‘no’.

Hanjae watches him move through the living room, greeting some people. Haegon’s been here yesterday, and the day before that, and if Hanjae’s not cautious, he’ll stay over despite their early shooting tomorrow.

“That old man put you on babysitting duty, eh, Hanhan?” Seungsoo leans in to whisper to him, somehow with a drink in hand – white wine. The smell of his cologne is already stuck to the collar of Hanjae’s bottom up by osmosis.

“He’s just concerned. It makes sense to be concerned.”

On their first day back from L.A, Haegon had announced over dinner that he now had a girlfriend: they met last week, and had been dating for three days. The situation had driven Beomseok crazy. Haegon asked if him if wanted to meet her every day for two weeks straight, and he said: no. He eventually got around to meet her and said with even more conviction: no, break up, now.

It’s an age gap, even if very small, but she’s about five years his industry senior, he told Hanjae. And Sunyoung’s from YG Entertainment, the face of too many brands. She’s going to eat him alive, spit him out, leave him heartbroken and Beomseok is going to have to deal with it, and he doesn’t want to have to deal with it.

“She can just like him. People can just like him,” Taesong tried to intervene, high pitched, and Beomseok cutted him off right away, said, “No. No, there’s something– Be serious, Taesong. No.”

The front door dings again, and it takes a long minute for Haegon to untangle his arms from Sunyoung’s waist and let her go get it. Hanjae watches her walk across the house, a firm walk of a supermodel, of someone important, and gets embarrassed with how bad he is at this, how obvious.

Another glimpse her way, and the person with their two feet planted on the ‘welcome home’ carpet is Haruki. He also said he wouldn’t come but gave no excuse, yet: here, dressed nicely. He’s got the same convenience store from years ago under one arm, the one from a memory.

They talk, talk, talk, and he still won’t leave the entrance. Haruki makes her laugh, the most genuine thing Hanjae’s seen Sunyoung do all night. He sees her look at him, look around, then lean closer again: point upstairs and give Haruki a thumbs up as he finally makes his way in, into the stairs and out of sight.

Sunyoung’s back on the couch, to Haegon, and Hanjae makes himself look. They’re fine, they appear very fine, holding hands, he doesn’t have to watch them all night, there’s no need to watch them at all, and–

Hanjae goes up the stairs, which he knows it’s technically off limits. He tries to not let his eyes wander to the photos on the walls, the books on the shelves tucked next to an award behind protective glass, a big shiny plaque framed above it.

There’s only one door with light peeking through, right at the end of the corridor. He taps at it three times, and waits. Another three taps, slightly stronger.

“Occupied,” a voice says from the inside – a tone he knows. “All night.”

Hanjae can’t think of what to say: can’t think of anything at all, for a second. He gives the door another hopeful tap, waits more, and he lets out a sigh of relief when it creeks open. He goes in, closes it quietly behind him, and looks down.

The room’s a bathroom, straight out of a home decoration magazine, all black and white. Haruki seems to be setting up an improv bar on the floor, in the big space between the bathtub and the sink. There’s a bottle of something Hanjae can’t read, blue and half empty, tucked in between his legs like a treasure.

“Ah, you,” he waves at Hanjae’s vague direction, not looking up. “Hello, you. I’m just– Don’t mind the mess. Someone made me something once. ‘Trying to put it together.”

Hanjae hums. He can’t make his hand ease its grip on the doorknob.

It’s been weeks since they abandoned the shoot, and since then Haruki’s been avoiding him constantly. Looks at him from across rooms and seems pained, constantly, and Hanjae hasn’t had the heart to come near.

“What is happening?” Haruki asks, suddenly, and tries to land a smile. He blinks a lot and then not enough looking up at Hanjae. “Down. Down there.”

“Nothing much.”

“How is he?”

“Haegon?” Hanjae asks, and Haruki nods at him loosely, mouths the name without making a sound: ‘Haegon’. “He– Uh, he seems alright.”

“Great couple, yes or no? For our maknae, is she great?”

“I– I don’t know.”

Disappointment flashes vividly through Haruki’s face, and it lands on a sad shagrin. “You don’t know,” he says, to himself, and goes back to emptying his bag with a slouch to his shoulders.

‘Be normal’, Dylan had said that day, his only instructions: ‘Be nice.’

Hanjae lets go of the door and goes to sit in front of him, legs crossed like his are. “What’s it supposed to taste like? The drink.”

There’s no humor in Haruki when he says, “Acid.”

He offers a thermo bottle to Hanjae filled with the failed replica. Hanjae takes a tiny sip and can’t swallow it, feels like his tongue is on fire, and it makes Haruki huff a laugh. “More disgusting than that.”

He makes more combinations that demand more tasting, and Hanjae at times struggles, at times doesn’t – Haruki empties a Soju bottle and refills it with Somaek, calls it ‘Hanjae’s palette cleanser’. He also makes Hanjae go downstairs to grab things they don’t have: more cups, ice and fruit juice, if Sunyoung has any, which she does – too many options.

Hanjae comes back from the trip and sets all his findings at Haruki’s feet, then feels weird about it, exposed about it, and pushes some of it closer to himself.

The bottle opener, they notice a minute later, has disappeared. Hanjae thinks he took it with him to the kitchen and abandoned it on the counter. Worry not, Haruki says; worry not!, because he knows how to open them with his front teeth. It’s a hidden skill, a secret talent.

Haruki asks him to hold a bottle close to his face so he can prove it, and Hanjae does so, but it’s a frail grip, not good. Haruki puts a hand over his to make it steadier, makes it worse. Another hand, a shove closer until their knees are touching. Hanjae adds his free hand into the pile, the lonely hand, and Haruki looks straight at him – looks like he’s saying, ‘Bet?’

It takes a second, really. A pop and the lid comes off in the company of an enormous foam eruption. Haruki gets both his hands away, does a smiley flourish: ‘ta-da!’

“But you shook it! Too much, you–!’ He laughs, and can’t stop laughing. Hanjae’s still holding the bottle and tries to hand it to him, but Haruki shakes his head ‘no’. “For you. It is for you.”

It’s bland beer, he takes notice when he drinks it, but somehow it tastes sweeter.

From the corner of his eyes he catches a glimpse of metal in a corner, and it’s Haruki’s new phone, exiled.

Hanjae is surprised to hear himself ask him, “Are the calls– the calls still coming? The ones from–”

“Always,” Haruki responds, eerily nonchalant. “Always will.”

“It’s not over, then? You still–”

“It is. It is over. It is over the way it can be over.”

“What wouldhe,” Hanjae closes his eyes, reiterates, “If it’s over, what would he still want with you?”

“What do you think,” Haruki asks, staring fixedly at the alcohol going from one bottle to the other. A bit of it it’s running straight to the floor. “What do you think people want with me?”

It’s said– weird. Something in his uncaring tone makes a lump of sadness form in Hanjae’s throat.

“Hyung, you know that, if you everneed to talk to anyone about anything. Me and the guys, we all– We all listen. We would listen.”

“Anything?” Haruki pretends to be impressed. “Big. That is big.”

“Seriously. I’m being serious.”

Haruki looks up at him. Even more alcohol spills to the floor.

“Okay. Okay, anything. Anything…” he hums, dropping the bottles, mimicking being in thought with an obnoxious pout. His mouth is now a purple dot, and his eyes a shiny brown daze...

Hanjae often catches himself wondering if he just knows. If he looks into a mirror and just knows that he’s beautiful in a way that looks hand drawn, that looks meticulously planned: a subject of equal envy and admiration. If Sangwon ever told him that, and if so, how many times, had it come close to enough, had he used the right words to say it, did Haruki believe him when he said it, or if he didn’t – what did it make him feel? What exactly did he make him feel?

Hanjae always thought he was so mean, so bitter. He can’t remember ever hearing him say anything nice to anyone about anything.

Hanjae’s staring, he’s realized, and his eyes hurt. He makes them look down to where Haruki’s got a firm hold around the slim of a bottleneck, tapping a weird rhythm into it, impossible to decipher. He has long fingers with hard skin on them, which isn’t something you would expect. He used to paint, used to do calligraphy; used to go to a prestigious arts academy during high school, all boys.

Hanjae’s still starring, and he’s too close to drunk to properly command himself to stop. He hears Haruki huffs an unheard laugh, suddenly, short and maybe frustrated, maybe not that, and Hanjae’s head snaps up to his face to meet it.

He’s being stared at, too – is being analyzed, too.

“I thought of something. Something I want to say, a thing,” Haruki announces. The grin on his face suddenly looks very, very sharp, like there’s something tugging the corners of his mouth up. “I will whisper to you. On your ear. ‘Gimme your ear and I will tell.”

And with that he comes forward, a sudden and ungracious movement, and doesn’t stop when they’re front to front, an inch apart. He climbs Hanjae up – actually climbs him up, his legs around the middle of his body, cageing him in.

Haruki grims again and it’s lazily, in slow motion. He puts a hand on Hanjae’s chin, tips it high, says, “Not your ear.”

He turns his head to the side. His nose rovers near Hanjae’s head, and Hanjae tries to escape it in reflex, but they’re all too slow, drowned in alcohol.

Into his ear, lips touching skin, Haruki says, “I know you like me. For a very long time. Since that one time. Ever since we went out, we got drunk, that one time.”

“Sorry,” Hanjae mutters, hushed.

“‘Sorry’,” Haruki laughs again, like that’s the funniest word there is, like it’s the meanest. It rings so loud, it has an echo. “Now you sorry?”

Hanjae sinks more into the floor, almost laying down, and Haruki follows, saying, “Are you going away? This close? I am this close, and you going away?”

They’re kissing before Hanjae fully processes how, and it’s a weird kiss at a weird angle; Haruki won’t bend his body all the way down, and Hanjae has to keep craning his neck to meet him midway, his elbows pressing against the tiles, hurting.

He feels a hand slide up his shirt almost immediately, and Hanjae understands, with drunken horror, that he’s being undressed – quickly.

“Ah, wait–” He says, and then can’t get out anything else: Haruki shoved a thumb inside his mouth, in between his teeth, as he goes for the spot where Hanjae’s shoulder and neck meet.

“You smell like home here,” he says, a goosebump. He buries his face there, opens his mouth above it, bites and sucks hard enough to make Hanjae jump  – for him to know it’ll leave a pinkish mark, evidence–

It’s exactly then and there that someone bursts in through the door, says a curse loudly, startles the two of them slightly apart, knocks the air out of their lungs.

“Close your eyes! I need to pee right now, right now, close your eyes!”

It’s a tall woman, this one – Hanjae sees her quick rush to the toilet and closes his eyes tight shut.

“If any of you try to act funny and take a single peek, I’ll fucking castrate you both– Hey! Hey, you, back on the floor, don’t come near, I’m fucking serious, I’ll kill you, you fucking–!”

The door clicks shut, and it takes Hanjae a moment to take in the lack of heat above and around him, to correlate the two: Haruki’s gone, walked out, left him.

From the side, he hears an instrident, “Can you at least cover your fucking boner, dude?!”

Hanjae rolls to his side, facing the opposite wall to where the toilet is; he pushes his knuckles into his shut eyes, for good measure. He waits for the girl to finish peeing, and tries not to have an anxiety attack or a heart attack or a nerve attack about everything that happened in the last ten minutes: Haruki on top of him, Haruki no longer on top of him, having to hear a stranger peeing.

“I’m done,” she announces, and he turns back to the same position as before.

There’s little dots of light in his vision, dancing. The girl’s using the sink now, and she has a blonde bob, so blonde and so short. It follows the shape of her mouth and up, even shorter at the back.

“Not a word from you, ever,” she warns, drying her hands on her skirt, pushing it down more, back in place. She gives him a pointed glare that makes Hanjae look down at the state he’s in, at his busted open shirt, a single button in the middle holding it all together. “Not a word from me. Now get the fuck out, please. People need to use the bathroom.”

And she gets going too, without closing the door all the way. The hum of the party downstairs carries over.

Hanjae inhales, looking at the bright ceiling light. His fingers have gone pruney where they were holding him.

[…]

Eventually Hanjae has to get out of the suite, and do a walk of shame back to the housewarming party. He takes down with him all the glass and cups he can manage, not a lot of them, goes straight to the kitchen sink, and begins to wash them, it’s done with them, goes for all of Sunyoung and Yoorim’s dishes.

Around him, the kitchen has emptied out – on the front the living room, mostly emptied out, too, except for little clicks. He spots J.J right in the center of the one installed in the couch, gesticulating enthusiastically, telling someone some story until they make eye contact. He stops, excuses himself, rushes near.

Up close, Jiahang looks at him, up and down, bug eyed, and Hanjae understands he didn’t do a good job of piecing himself back together.

He got a glimpse of his face in the mirror before walking out: lips glossy, bangs far apart and sticking up, somehow, not all the buttons of his shirt tucked in the right cases.

“Hanjae, oh my God. Dylan, Dylan, look!” He calls out, and Hanjae sees Chihoon appear on his left, face slightly dazed. “Oh my God, Dylan! Hanjae!”

“You fucking animal!” Seungsoo, coming out of nowhere, slaps him on the chest hard. “Who? Who who who who?”

They’re all too close, too soon, and Hanjae can’t look anyone in the eyes for too long– he just can’t.

He catches a glimpse of Blonde Bob Piss Girl in a corner, looking bored, on her phone, and stares at her for a moment too long. Everyone follows, looks at her too, and his bandmates erupt into enthusiastic ‘Eeeeeeh!’s. Someone, proprably Seungsoo still, raises his soupy arm up so he can be given high fives, and Hanjae doesn’t know what to do – to let the lie linger or to kill it. What can he even say? What can he say if not that–

Hanjae finds himself grabbing Dylan’s sleeve and tugging at it, leaving behind a damp. He feels like a little kid that broke something, suddenly – overwhelmingly so. “Where ‘d Haruki go?”

“Dude, I didn’t see him. You sure?” Chihoon asks, and Hanjae’s not; he’s not sure.

“Whaaaaat? Haruki came? Haruki’s here?”

“Great. Another one to hunt down. We’re never gonna leave this fucking place in time,” Jiahang whines. “Yoorim noona’s going to delete my number.”

Hanjae asks all of them at once, “We’re leaving?”

“Yeah, you didn’t hear? Sunyoung and Haegon ditched,” Seungsoo says, and Hanjae’s stomach drops. “It’s her house and they ditched, disappeared, poof! Yoorim’s pissed, told everyone to leave. And Taeng’s freaking out! Someone broke his little vase, someone spilled something on him. I think he’s gonna snap. We need to get that freak home.”

“Shit.”

“Yes, Hanjae,” Seungsoo laughs. “Old man was right, after all… Shit.”

[...]

They do a small search around the apartment, the balcony, and conclude: no Haruki anywhere, so they group everyone they have to leave, go wait to be picked up on the sidewalk in front of the Nine One Hannam gates.

“You just dreamed him up, Hanhan! Wouldn’t be the first time,” Seungsoo jokes. It’s a bad joke. O.z shoves him in the chest hard about it, tells him, “Quiet.”

Hanjae looks straight ahead, not at them. In front of him J.J keeps bouncing on the wheel of his feet, saying, ‘I’m going in the front, I’m passenger seat, forget it, it’s me me me me,’ even though no one’s putting up a fight about it.

Minwoo pulls up soon enough on the curve in one of the two black company vans, and downs the window just to give them all an open scowl, then a frown. “I’m only seeing seven of you.”

J.J circles the car to get to the front door, struggles a little to get it open. “Hyung, you’re not gonna believe.”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Jiahang.”

“Shut up, you do. You really really really really do. You were–,” and then he becomes aware of the slouched figure of Hanjae trailing behind him, turns and frowns. “What did I just say!”

“No, I’m…” Hanjae looks at Minwoo looking at him, one eyebrow raised, says, “Sorry.”

Minwoo pinches at his nose, hard. “Just get in the goddamn car, Hanjae, Jesus Christ.”

Hanjae thinks, out of everyone who has a driver’s license, Minwoo drives the shittiest. He needs glasses, he never wears them, he grumbles curses at every slow driver and every rush driver and every driver, in general.

On the way home, he stops the van only once, by popular demand. Taesong steps out to vomit, and spends the rest of the ride jittery about it, cracking his knuckles even when they make no sound.

“We’re so fucked,” Chihoon says when they park inside the dorm’s garage, rubbing his eyes. “It’s 3AM. We’re so fucked.”

While everyone rushes to their rooms to piece pajamas together and form a long row to shower, Hanjae’s elbow to elbow with Dylan, going up the stairs to the second floor as quietly as they can.

He and Haruki have, by far, the best room in the whole house: spacious, with a nice window. It used to be Haruki and Sangwon’s up until he got fired – some excuse about rooming with the manager to learn Korean quicker, about making sure Haruki wouldn’t sneak beer into his room. It makes Hanjae sick now, seeing it, standing so close to it.

Dylan tries the handle once, and the door doesn’t budge, only makes a stubborn click – locked.

Hanjae dries his hand on his jeans, still wet, somehow, asks him, “Is he– He’s in there? Or…?”

Chihoon rests his head against the mahogany and sort of sighs, sort of laughs. “Yeah, definitely home. He’s the only one with the key to lock me out. Classic. Just classic.”

“Get my bed,” Hanjae says – implores. “Use mine, you can– mine, I’ll couch.”

“You’ll couch?” Chihoon looks at him with the trembling smile of someone who’s about to laugh. It falls off his face quickly when he takes in the guilt Hanjae knows he’s wearing openly on his face.

“Hyung, I–” It’s out of his mouth before Hanjae even knows it. “Tonight, something – Something has happened, and I think, think I should– say.”

Dylan’s giving him an analytical once over, and he stops at his moving hands, on his marked neck, looks at the door again – locked. 

“Hanjae,” he says his name like it’s an insult, and for a moment Hanjae feels like it really is – his name, an insult.

He crumbles. “I’m sorry, so, so sorry, we just– I didn’t mean to– It was just, just a kiss, I think, and I– I–”

“You kissed him?! ‘You think’? What does that mean? What do you mean ‘you think’?!”

Hanjae looks around and then down, behind him. “Dylan…” he manages, airy, and doesn’t know what he wants the rest of the phrase to be, where he’s trying to take it.

Chihoon’s mouth hangs open, a painful disbelief, and then slowly shuts.

“You know what,” he says harshly, but not angrily – he sounds more disappointed than anything, more tired than anything. “I don’t want to know. Not now. I’ll know, just– Not now. But fucking Hell, Hanjae, you. You just had to, didn’t you? You saw an opportunity and you just had to.”

Hanjae’s breath catches. Dylan is a figure in his eyes, growing blurry.

“I’m taking your bed,” he announces. ”Eveytime he kicks me out from this day on, I’m sleeping on your bed.”

He storms off, his bare feet on the floor a sound until it isn’t anymore.

Hanjae knocks on the door, a small tap. Nothing.

He thinks of saying it again: sorry. But no one’s around to hear it, no one’s around to accept it. There’s no point.

[novankenn]

Chp 2 - King of Kings

Yang returned to Beacon without confronting her fellow blond. Too many questions rolled about in her head. Too many inconsistencies between what she knew, thought she knew, and now knew threatening to give her a splitting headache. She said nothing as she returned to her dorm. She made some noncommittal responses to her teammates inquiries about where she had been, before climbing into the shower and then her bed. Pulling out her ear buds, she set up her scroll in her lap, and began a new search, or searches. She needed to find out more about Jaune, and she openly admitted to herself; in her mind that she was hooked. She had willing dove headfirst into the rabbit hole. The spectacle of what she had just experienced drew her in. She needed more and once she slated her desires, she would corner him.

/=/

Time quickly passed, and soon it was almost two weeks since Yang made her discovery, and now she was nearly a literal encyclopedia of Jaune related wrestling trivia; not that she had anyone to share that knowledge with. She had scoured the CCT-Net and watched years of matches, of not only Jaune but also his family. The Arc family was huge, and popular. Jaune was actually a third generation wrestler, which surprised Yang to find out that his family was so rooted in the sport, no sorry, she mentally corrected herself; Sports Entertainment. The Arcs were an actual a pillar of the industry not only with they themselves being in the sport, but also training many of the current stars.

It was almost mind melting the amount of information Yang was processing. Of course none of it had a lick to do with combating grimm, but she couldn't stop. She had forum sites bookmarked for daily visits. She used some of her Bumblebee maintenance funds to purchase a subscription to a streaming service. One that she would binge-watch all things Arc related. She had seen Jaune as a young teen. When he barely had any meat on his bones, up to now. She had seen him at ringside, supporting his father and then his sisters; before moving to actually also performing in the ring.

She knew all his moves, and trademark spots. She had seen his evolution from a high flying baby-face, to his most recent incarnation as a brutal hardcore gladiator. The extreme matches really got to her. The added violence, the hints of blood, the pure chaos of the matches. It seemed almost more akin to a real fight, just with more artistic elements. She had avoided the “real vs fake” era, and was educated enough to know that there was more going on with what happened in the ring than most fans realized. But despite that, she was impressed with Jaune. Even if everything wasn't one hundred percent real, he still needed to be hardy enough to handle the punishment. He still need to be conditioned enough to perform full tilt for upwards of twenty to thirty minutes, every couple of nights. Then of course there was the pure physical strength he had.

She had been awed, watching as he body slammed another man who supposedly weighed in at over three hundred pounds. If Yang could remember correctly, at the time, Jaune was weighing in at a buck seventy. The blond noodle had held in the air and manipulated twice his body-weight in living flesh. No one she knew had ever done something like that. She was smitten with the world and the fantasy. She was ready to face him, and get more specific answers from him. Answers she couldn't get from watching videos and reading blogs.

But first there was a pay-per-view coming up, and she needed to see what the card was going to be like. If it was more worth her while to attend in person, or watch online. She already knew Jaune was in the line-up. Apparently there was some big mixed promotional Hardcore event going to happen in Mistral a month before the Vytal Festival. His match would be a warm-up to prepare for the big night, a month and a half away.

/=/

Pyrrha's eyes narrowed as she noticed Yang close in on her partner as he waited in the lunch line. Something about the energy she was giving off as she approached him was making her wonder. Pyrrha had learned to read body language; it was a part of her training, and served her well both in and out of the combat ring. She could tell Yang was up to something, she just wasn't sure what. She shivered as a thought passed through her mind. Yang wasn't really good at hiding things, especially from her sister Ruby. It was through Ruby that everyone was warned to avoid mentioning anything about professional wrestling. Apparently Yang had become a rabid fan of the “fake sport” recently, and was devoting all her spare time to her new obsession. Pyrrha hoped that Yang wasn't trying to rope Jaune into becoming a fan of that farce.

Thinking about the possibility caused her to wince. Jaune was too nice to become involved in something so lowbrow. Wrestling was an ageless sport. A tradition in many combat art schools, yet what Yang was a fan of. What she was digesting religiously was not that valued practice. It was cheap theatrics and bad stories. Tits and Ass for the sake of Tits and Ass. She had been turned away form even watching the nonsense when she was still testing the waters of a tournament career. She had wanted to expose herself to other combat sports, but was roundly told that Professional Wrestling was not a combat sport.

Pyrrha sighed, and returned her attention to the meal before her. Even with her training Jaune, she was still struggling to reach out to him. To let her feelings be known. If only she had more in common with him. He did like his comics. Maybe she could tempt fate and reach out to him for guidance in taking up that hobby. The clatter of a metal tray crashing to the tiled floor, caused her to jump. Her emerald eyes quickly scanned the cafeteria to find the source, for them only to go wide in shock as she watched Jaune, actually physically drag Yang out of the expansive room.

/=/

Jaune: How much to keep you shut-up about it ALL?

Jaune hissed after he had dragged Yang far enough away from any potential students in a position capable of overhearing.

Yang: Hey! (Snapping at him in disbelief) I'm not after your money!

Jaune: Keep your voice down, and tell me what this is all about. If you're not looking for a handout, then what is it?

Yang: I wanted to talk. Just talk.

Jaune: Why now? After all this time, why now?

Yang: I followed you a few weeks ago, after you had one of your less stellar spars. I was going to try and cheer you up, but...

Jaune: What did you see?

Yang: You're Hardcore debut, Mr. Crown Prince.

Jaune: Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Yang: Whoa, whoa Jaune, What's the problem?

Jaune: I didn't want anyone to know, nor do I want anyone finding out.

Yang: Why?

Jaune: I'm tired of being part of a legacy. I've grown up in the industry. I lived the industry, now I want something for myself. Something different, and if people find out about that other stuff...

Yang: You think your chances would be ruined.

Jaune: Exactly.

Yang: You do realize there are others here at Beacon that think you look like someone famous. It was sort of why I started looking into you, though, until that night... I just thought you looked like him.

Jaune: Fuck!

Yang: I don't understand Jaune. You have talent, you have skill...

Jaune: I severely doubt any grimm will tap out to a Boston crab.

Yang: But Cardin would.

Jaune: Yang, what I've spent my life learning isn't going to help...

Yang: Then why? I mean, you have a life outside of this. A good life. A supportive family. You're basically royalty.

Jaune: I want to be more.

Yang: More?

Jaune: I want to do more than just entertain. I want to really help. Like my Great-Grandfather did during the War, and I can't do that running ropes and throwing clotheslines.

Yang's eyes narrowed. She was getting what Jaune was saying, but he was missing something important. Something he couldn't see because he was in the middle of it all. It was a little factoid she had stumbled on, and followed through on.

Yang: What attracts grimm?

Jaune: Negative emotions. Why?

Yang: What types of emotions do you feel when you're taking part in an event?

Jaune: Why are you asking this, Yang?

Yang: Just humour me. What types of emotions?

Jaune: Excitement, joy...

Yang: Simple answer would be positive ones.

Jaune: So?

Yang: (Sighing) You're not following. You say you want to do more, but you're not noticing or realizing you are doing more. In fact, from the short amount of time in which I've become a fan, I KNOW you're doing a better job of keeping people safe, than a huntress can.

Jaune: Huntsmen fight the grimm, how does me performing before groups...

Yang: Huntresses fight grimm, when grimm show up. We show up when things are at the worst. Yes, some are stationed in settlements, but still we are only there when things have become the worst possible result.

Jaune: But you still...

Yang: Yes, we do. But I've found out something, and I figure seeing as you are in the middle of it, you wouldn't.

Jaune: And what would that be?

Yang: So, as you know, I'm a sort of punch first kinda of gal, and I'm not an expert on grimm behaviour, yet for whatever reason I did some looking, and reading.

Jaune: Okay.

Yang: Grimm numbers drop after an event.

Jaune: Huh?

Yang: I know right? But there are studies, and records.

Yang pulled out her scroll and pulled up one of her bookmarked sites, and moved to a pinned post.

Yang: The positive energies that such numerous people radiate drive the grimm off. Even with the supposed good versus bad story lines, the joy of being a part of the spectacle is what does it.

Jaune: I never...

Yang: Neither had I, until I saw what you do; and Jaune you are good. Real good.

Jaune: Thanks. But still...

Yang: I understand. I do, and I can't say if I was in your position I wouldn't be making the same choices, but I know I would do one thing very much differently.

Jaune: And what would that be?

Yang: Put Cardin in his place.

Jaune: And how....

Yang: A Headlock is a headlock, Jaune. A hip throw is a hip throw. Yours might be more flamboyant, but in the end they can do the same thing.

Jaune: Are you trying to tell me to...

Yang: (Smirking) Yes. No one would expect you to dropkick Cardin in the face, or for you to toss him out of the combat ring like a toddler.

Jaune: But...

Yang: Jaune you have the skills, and I know you have the strength to do it. I've watched just about everything I can find on you and your family. I'm a fan...

She paused, giving him a soft smile;

Yang: and a friend.

--== Table of Contents ==--

[shokuto]

District Zero / The Boys and the Keg

“Why’d you say Spider-Man was gonna be there?!” Miles asks sharply once he and Ganke are walking through the parking lot.

He shrugs, not even looking at him. “We were losing her; we needed a hook.”

“If partying in a big ass house nobody lives in isn’t enough of a hook, why bother? It’s only one girl.”

“It’s not one girl, it’s Amala Macendale!” Ganke reasons. “It’s her, her friends, and her friends’ friends. That’s huge!”

Miles rolls his eyes. His friend’s starting to sound like a club promoter. “I don’t think she has friends.”

“Of course she does, she’s like, student body president. How’d she get voted in if she doesn’t have—“

When they finally hit the minivan, Ganke freezes; there’s a liquor store across the street, and near the front door is a scuffed up metal case bearing a steel tap at the top. He quickly taps Miles’ shoulder with the hand not holding a plastic bag before he points at it.

“Dude, that’s a keg,” he gasps in astonishment.

Miles pauses before he can enter the car, blankly looking over the hood. “Of beer?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

“…So what now?”

There’s a second where they both just stand there, gawking across the street. That’s when Ganke taps his shoulder again. “You gotta go grab it.”

Miles sighs again, already exasperated with the sudden turn of events. “Dude, no—”

“You’re the only one who can carry it!”

“That’s stealing,” he says firmly.

“So?” Ganke sets his hands on his shoulders with the urgency of a man begging a fireman to save his baby. “If we don’t have any beer at this thing, we’re gonna be losers forever! It’s one keg! They probably have a hundred more in the back and it’s only a matter of time before they bring it in!”

Miles exhales in annoyance, but considers Ganke’s warning more than he’d like. He’s split firmly between the selfish teenager his friend desperately appeals to, and the little boy inside him who’s internalized every repeated warning to not get into trouble, to follow every rule as closely as possible because there’d always be a book waiting to be thrown at him around every corner. He eyes the keg, then through the window of the store, the guy inside who presumably has to bring it in eventually.

And it is stealing.

But…

They’re throwing something big…and they’re not kids anymore. People their age going to parties don’t go to relax; they go to get fucked up. It’s all he hears and it’s all he sees in the movies.

They even got the red cups and everything now! Plastic cups Miles only now realizes were never gonna be filled with soda.

“It’s either this or we’re cooked,” Ganke pleads.

Quietly, Miles contemplates the lunch periods they’ve spent alone growing up. Every inside joke passed around set cliques that they weren’t a part of, and every classmate who ever took a shot at them or made their friendship out to be something weird ‘cause it was funny. ‘Cause guys like them were easy targets.

Some of those same people would probably be milling about the house Ganke’s mom had just closed the deal on, piss drunk on beer they brought and laughing madly beneath flashing lights they put up. There’s dozens of little jabs they’ve collected over the years, jabs that taught them it was better to keep to themselves lest they add up to even more down the line if nothing changed.

But he could practically see it all evaporate tonight, over music so loud they felt it in their bones and chants so spirited they could summon specters.

He even pictures himself sharing the tap with the pretty girl from homecoming, the one with a voice like silk and a rasp to it that reminded him of a bass string. However heartbroken he may be over Katie, he’s still embarrassingly weak for an easy smile. He’s still a guy.

A minute later, Miles is hefting a metal keg over his shoulder and bolting for the car like a fireman carrying an invalid to safety. His first ever five finger discount.

“Start it up, start it up!” He shouts.

The engine of the shabby old minivan growls to life just as Miles barrels into the backseat, immediately closing the door behind him.

Then they’re off.

“Holy shit,” Ganke gasps behind the wheel, breathing heavy like he was the one doing the running.

And despite himself, Miles feels himself joining in too. He can’t be bothered to drum up any possible theft charges, any tidbits from the stern talking to from his dad would give him if he saw. Instead, he visualizes the gated community of District Zero, lit up like Disneyland.

“This shit’s gonna be crazy,” He mutters warmly.

[fundielicious-simblr]

(Adalynn's POV)

Mason's sister Molly and her husband Elijah visited us for Easter, and whilst they were here they announced that they're moving to Willowcreek and that they're expecting a baby! They've been married for a few years now and have been praying for a baby, so we're all overjoyed for them to be on this journey to being parents. Angie says that she's had the most blessed weekend, with easter and Molly's news happening all in one weekend. Elijah's job in Oasis Springs has an office here in Willowcreek and he just got a promotion that involved them moving here. For the next few weeks, Molly and I will be pregnant together for the first (and I hope not the last) time ever.

Madelynn and Tabitha were also excited at Molly's news! Molly has gotten to know the other girls better whenever she and Elijah would visit us here in Willowcreek. Madelynn and I have been discussing the end of the school year, she sends Lester to a homeschool co-op in our area that uses the same curriculum that I use with our boys plus other supplementary ones. Mason and I have been considering the co-op as the boys get older, but for now while they're in junior school I feel like I should be in control of their education. Tabitha had her baby Ember earlier in the spring, so now she's got a toddler and a newborn to wrangle.

I feel so blessed when I think about the fact that part of our church family is our actual family, sometimes I feel bad that the boys don't get to grow up with their cousins like some of my other nieces and nephews, but seeing them play with my cousins kids makes up for that. Technically the kids are second cousins, so that's close enough for me.

Only a few more weeks to go before baby #9 joins us! Because of Parker and Lana's wedding we didn't get to do a small weekend away, but we're taking the time to soak in these last few moments with the boys before we get thrown into the cycle of having a newborn in the house again.

(AN) One last time before the baby's here, guess what you think it'll be! Last poll had a 50/50 split, so lets see what this one will be.

[kylosbreedingkink]

Zoo au characters, and if you're feeling adventurous and achieving, drama between them, please? Normally I'd want to hear about Kylo (always), but I'm struck by Hux being pedantic about beetles. Also what's Poe doing? My cousins both work at a zoo so I'd love to see what they think about all this. They're nerds too.

So animal management at the zoo is split into 2 main sections with smaller within that. Thoe are LVI & Birds, and then mammals. LVI is reptiles, amphibs, inverts, etc and stands for lower vertebrate and invertebrates. This is the first time I'm writing some of this down so there may be some changes to what i've said before. Notably I put the KoR as maintenance but not anymore. It's long so rest under the cut

Kylo: Nepotism baby got an easy zoo internship because at the time his uncle was the assistant curator of mammals and his mother headed the education department. Some people hate him because of this. Zookeeping is not an easy industry to get into and he just walked in like he was owed the world. His internship was on the mammal section, focusing directly under Luke on the large carnivores. An incredibly boring section as everyone knows the small carnivores are where the interesting things happen. All big cats have going for them is that they're big. When he finished his placement, a role was created for him as the new primary keeper of the big cats. He turned it down. He instead walked straight into a job on the LVI & Birds section under curator Snoke. Turns out he had been spending his days off and his break times with Snoke, learning aviculture, and had become enamored with birds. Luke was not happy. Hux was not happy either as Snoke is currently without an assistant curator and it seems like he's grooming Kylo for the position even though Hux has been working for him for years. With him on the bird section (There's a lot of birds. Snoke likes his birds) he has some of the knights of ren. There's more of them in spring and summer to help man the bird walkthroughs and deal with the increased workload bird sections have then. Basically there's a strange overlap between the bird keeper section and animal training, even though the birds under snoke receive little to no training (Snoke doesn't deem it necessary for husbandry). Kylo himself goes over to animal training a few times a week, but not to train any animals, and always during his lunch breaks. Ren: Head of animal training/the show. He's kinda off on his own not under the jurisdiction of either curatorship, but works with them. Mostly enjoys the birds of prey and flying those. He is never seen without his falconer glove even when he's training ducks. Flirts with everyone and anyone. Once tried to bag both Luke and Leia at the same time. Luke seemed keen but Leia slapped him. It's ok though, he had Han and Luke when Leia and he were 'on a break'. He also had that big eyed son of hers. Multiple times. The kid's clingy but he's good for getting Rens dick wet. Luke: When Kylo started his internship he was the assistant curator/senior keeper of large carnivores. Not long after the internship was finished, Luke was promoted to curator of mammals as his predecessor (Yoda) retired. He holds resentment for Kylo ruining his big plans for him, where he would be curator and in a few years his nephew the assistant curator under him. Kylo had a knack for the job and Luke thought he was genuinely interested, just for Kylo to walk right over to the other curators section without any prior warning (As far as he knew.. Selective vision, everyone else saw him helping out on the birds whenever he wasn't with the cats) Luke I have working with big cats because I really think big cat keepers are boring. Not as bad as elephant keepers, but still up there with the boring and the big ego. Luke is just incredibly boring to me. It literally won't let me post more than this which is ??? as i see other people with stupid long posts and not even a cut like all the time zzz. I'll do more in a subsequent post.

[sweet-berry-sims]

Between Acts

During the ‘timeskip’ between acts where the old friend group split up quite a bit happened. 

Cavalier and Glitter began dating while the two of them worked on their careers and gathered information on the Mother. 

Alfalfa living as Linnaeus Wilder, began working in the Vet Clinic which she discovered a love of it. She had always liked animals after all. 

Rose and Gumdrop’s dysfunctional relationship persisted after the birth of their son, Amore, to the point where Rose became paranoid of Gumdrop cheating. Secretly, Rose and Alfalfa had been in contact with each other and Alfalfa decided to teach her sister magic in hopes that doing something and having a hobby will keep her from overthinking things. Spoiler: That doesn’t work. Rose has been tagging along with Gumdrop for visits with her family out of paranoia of leaving her on her own in fear that Gumdrop will leave and just not come back. With the new baby and Rose’s work the schedules don’t match up and Gumdrop doesn’t get to see her family all that often. But Rose does decide to go on more dates and family day trips to revitalize Gumdrop from being with their infant son all day where Gumdrop admits she was planning on leaving Rose before they found out about their pregnancy. As their son grows, Rose becomes more confident in the relationship but Gumdrop has resolved to leave once Amore is old enough for daycare. 

Then Jamboree, Alfalfa, Rose, and Seashell’s father, dies. Alfalfa briefly comes out of hiding for the funeral and the sisters and their respective families see their other sister Jamberry who had left with Rhubarb when they were young again as well. The funeral is oddly idyllic in that all of the sisters get along well with each other and spend the day catching up before being forced to part ways again leaving Alfalfa hopeful that once the coast is clear for her to actually come out of hiding, she and her sisters can mend their pasts and be a real family in the future. 

Unfortunately for Alfalfa someone saw her leaving the funeral contented and a new finding in their father’s autopsy showed he did not die of natural causes. With that Alfalfa is officially wanted for questioning for her father’s murder in addition to the hit on her head from the Wizard. Since Alfalfa cannot come in for fear of her life and biased questioning, she’s forced under the radar again.

For Gumdrop, Jamboree’s death means she can’t leave Rose. At least in her mind. She doesn’t want to break up with someone whose father just died and the death also brings up memories of the death of her mother which also grates on her. Still staying makes her feel trapped. 

Rose sees Gumdrop’s upset and attributes it mostly correctly to the death of Jamboree bringing up memories of her own late mother. She decides that a change of pace is needed for the both of them and the couple decide to move within Oasis Springs. 

Moving did help lift Gumdrop’s spirits and help her overcome the resurfacing grief she was feeling. Their son growing into a toddler also helped as now she could get little odd jobs around town and being out of the house was freeing. Especially since making her own money meant that she could save up to leave. 

Rose got promoted and took over as the leader of Oasis Springs after her father. With her newfound power she began to enact laws and restrictions to keep Gumdrop by her side since she could sense Gumdrop planning to leave. 

Not long after that began, Rose discovered she was pregnant. Which she had not so subtly been hoping for. Gumdrop was initially happy at the news before realizing it meant that she wouldn’t be able to save up as much or leave as quickly with the new baby. Rose could practically see the gears turning in Gumdrop’s head and was even more joyed by the pregnancy but given the physical toll pregnancy had on her and Gumdrop she decided to spend her time more focused on enacting stifling laws since more new babies were not a viable option to keep Gumdrop going forward.

Alfalfa took her time at the clinic to make more connections with others in resistance against the mother now that she couldn’t exactly call up her sister anymore what with her being looked into by law enforcement and all. She was too busy with work and being out and about to pay any mind to what was actually happening in Oasis Springs aside from the occasional scandalous headline calling Rose “The Wicked Witch of The East” which was easily dismissed by “The Wicked Witch of the West”.

[missgoldberry]

Hi! I also just finished and was left disappointed - from all the promotional interviews I expected more, they dragged out the unhappy times, I wanted to see them happy for more! What did you think? I'm despreate to talk about it with someone

Hi! Thanks for messaging, I never get asks and I would love to talk about the show!!

Overall I really liked it, but I do have some issues with it. I do get why some people are disappointed - I think with split season there was a lot of time to watch interviews (I usually don't but I love Nicola so watched quite a few and they did very good job selling it), share theories, read fanfics, etc etc.

For me, the pacing just wasn't right. For example, one of my biggest issues with the first season is how they get together, we have some happy moments in the middle but then they're miserable until the very end, have a lackluster reconciliation without solving anything, and suddenly have a baby. This had a different vibe tbh? In the first part they got together too fast for my tastes, I wanted more pining and begging from Colin but the carriage scene was amazing, and I understand that they had a lot to resolve in part 2 so FINE. Episodes 5 and 6 were absolutely beautiful, and I understand why the conflict needed to happen, and while it took time to resolve but like. After them sleeping apart after the wedding I needed a better sex scene than that snipped we got, and I really don't like that they immediately had a baby? I knew it would happen as soon as the 'race' between the sisters started but I still hated it. I wanted to see them traveling together, or writing, or just spending time together. The scene where Colin finally accepted her and expressed how proud he is was absolutely gorgeous tho.

And like, I understand why Colin was so mad and hurt. I understand that he was conflicted, that he loved her and missed her, but just couldn't reconcile all parts of her. I think it was very well written, and very well acted. But there we were a few moments I hated, and we never really got any resolution for it. Colin saying she trapped him and was pretty much just marrying her because they had sex?? When he didn't listen to her solutions to Cressida issue and said it's not her call what they do?? I'm glad he came around, and I'm glad she saved herself and her family in the end, but like. That was horrible, and he never apologized. Again, I get that he was hurt but saying that she deceived him into marriage was terrible, and I wish they solved it before the wedding because it tainted the whole experience a bit.

Also, I'm very sorry to say this but I just don't care about other character all that much💀💀 I'm happy they're here and I will be rooting for them during their seasons but I felt like there was a lot of time that could've been dedicated to Pen and Colin instead. What was the point of the whole Mondrich arc? They're lovely but we spent so much time with that family. I'm so so glad Benedict is exploring his sexuality but he had more sex scenes than the main couple. I didn't particularly care for Lady Danbury's brother (even though I'm glad for Violet!). I know this show is like that but I was getting quite frustrated, especially in the last episode. I wanted more of Pen and Colin!!

But there were also good things!! Penelope is a queen, I adore her. Nicola is a fucking star of this show. I loved the carriage scene, I love episode 5 especially, I love Colin standing up to Pen's mom, I love his love declaration. I love HER love declaration. I love that Pen didn't just abandom Whistledown, didn't give it up for Colin, she embraced it and was proud of her work. Colin was proud of her work. I love Pen and Eloise. Pen and Delacroix. Pen and her mother. Anthony, Kate and Colin! Anthony and Kate going to India!!! Their wedding dance. That moment where Pen admitted how much money she had. The moment Colin admitted he fucked it up with Cressida. Colin calling Pen his wife, calling her a Bridgerton. Pen saying Colin is enough. The kiss in the street the night before the wedding!! THE MOMENT IN THE BALLROOM WHERE COLIN SAID HE'S PROUD JUST BEING HER PARTNER. You can't deny that it was a beautiful season full of many beautiful, tender moments; more than any previous season tbh. It just needed a bit more at the end to make it up for all that misery. And I don't think they needed to have a baby so quickly, live a bit, you both have ambitions! And I wanted to see that.