#when the prettiest being would be there
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mona-prithey · 3 months ago
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PLEASE SOMEONE TELL MY MOTHER THAT I AM GOING TO ISKCON TO STARE AT KRISHNA NOT OTHER MENN
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bacchuschucklefuck · 7 months ago
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Riz has counted four casseroles this week alone. Five, if one goes by the method of cooking, but Yelen's scary when she's crossed, and calling her burek by its proper name is important to her, so Riz does her the courtesy and doesn't include it in his mental tally.
He holds the tupperware over his head to keep it out if the way as he takes careful steps over the piles of notes in his path. The dockman case just closed, relevant documentations handed over to relevant personnels, evidences dealt with as needed; all he has lying around now is just record of the process and traces of himself thinking through it. Unsurprisingly they still haven't invented a surface more convenient for people under five feet who like to pace to put pieces of paper on than the ground.
Actual records go into the case folder with the other documents. Anything else with at least one side still blank is going to the school kids in the block - they chew through an astounding amount of paper just learning arithmetic. The rest is for the recycling basket.
Later. It's his mandated lunch break right now.
Riz sits down in front of the corner file cabinet. In an office often overrun with papers and strings and sometimes even thumbtacks, he's never really managed to clutter up this exact square of surface like every other ones. Ever since the bottom drawer rattled for no discernible reason a day long past, his eyes have always just kinda decided to slide across the space without acknowledging it.
It's years out, now. Riz doesn't know why he thought it such a big deal anymore, back then. He wasn't scared, he doesn't think. Not anymore. Maybe just uncomfortable with the idea that certain things persist despite all efforts to change.
He opens the tupperware. Dame Carabelle's experiment greets him with enough spice in the aroma alone to knock out a small mammal. When he chopped the vegetables for this casserole he couldn't really imagine the eventual heft of it, evident even through just these few ladles' worth, maybe weighing heavier for being still warm. His folk eat more through the smell and the textures and the aftertastes than the taste itself. His folk's meal is really the cooking rather than the eating. The eating is the meal's end.
"Hey," he tells the file cabinet's bottom drawer. "Um."
It's the anniversary. Riz doesn't know the exact date of his dad's death; nobody currently alive does. He and Mom both use the date of the funeral, though as he moved out to Bastion and then got more directly involved with Interplanar he hasn't really been going to Dad's grave as much. Doesn't seem like very efficient use of his time, catching a train or borrowing a car or spending a whole spell slot on going somewhere he knows Dad isn't at. They're sorta coworkers now. They talk on and off every other week between missions. When he goes now, it's just to clean up the place, keeping the landmark tidy and respectable.
Without that work to mark the date he doesn't really know what it serves anymore. But he still remembers it. Still takes note, absently or not, when it comes around.
There's not really a good way to tell the drawer that. Riz looks for another way to start the... conversation, hopefully. The question at play, he'd guess, is why he's doing this. He's been pretty content ignoring all the rattlings and the knocks from inside and the times it sits slightly ajar without him ever opening it himself; hell, he still uses the three drawers on top of it. Space is fucking precious in Bastion.
Precious enough to finally fix this damn drawer so he gets his turn to use it? Riz asks himself. Is that what we're getting to? Then he dismisses the thought - he didn't manage to fix it the times he actually tried, let alone-- now. When he doesn't really care that much to.
That's probably a good place to start. "'s fine if you keep being in there, turns out," Riz says.
The lunch hours are quiet in the block, sleepy and bright with the brief window of sunlight that manages to break through roof overhangs and extended balconies and laundry lines and climbing vines. Riz's work isn't loud here (the loud parts happen away from his office, if everything goes right), but the fragment of early summer heat reflected in the steady warmth his meal still carries compels him to lower his voice even more. It makes the words feel intimate, in a way he's never been familiar with - if he says something he just says it. He doesn't whisper. If he gives his friends something, he gives it open-palm. He's found out, along the way, that people usually don't think of rituals and courtesies the way he does.
Small voice for a diminished monster. "You know why I think so?" Riz asks. "Because almost two decades ago you kidnapped me and almost killed me, and now you rattle a drawer in my office."
It doesn't sound as much like a taunt as Riz wanted it to; the drawer has made a lot of noises again this morning when he checked the calendar, and he was definitely annoyed at it. Now, though, facing it like this after cooking the whole morning with more grandparents and peers from the block than he can count on both hands to cater for a tenant union meeting, he thinks the annoyance has morphed. Changed shape.
It has the shades of something like pity. Riz is not prone to pity, and especially not at these kinda matters. It's slightly maddening that he coheres perfectly outside of this one spot. That he commands his spaces, except for a drawer.
He puts the tupperware onto the floor between himself and the cabinet. "I know we're aware it's the anniversary," he says at the drawer. "You do this every year. You make a ruckus every time I decide to go do my job instead of mooching off my friends' aircon, and every time I get an invitation to some stupid social thing I want to turn down, and every time one of the old people tries to introduce me to a child or a nibling, because being a bachelor over thirty is weird," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I have three fucking jobs. I love doing my fucking jobs. I'm forcing funds into infrastructures. You're never leaving, are you."
The drawer vibrates lightly. It's a very, very mild acknowledgement, considering the history of reactions Riz has gotten from this thing. Riz thinks it's emanating joyous agreement, or satisfaction.
It only sharpens the pity. Riz doesn't like that, but it's how it is. That's, ultimately, the lesson he's been taught over and over and over again, just by existing as himself, turned every which way by space after space that don't see him eye-to-eye: it's not like he'd quit living over any of it. It's not like any of it can sand off these fundamental pieces of him.
He's outgrown a lot of things, he's found out. Again, and again, and again. A childhood home, a yearly trip, a monster.
"'s probably scary for you, huh?" He asks. "Because I left."
He thinks he hears joints creak that sound like you did. Probably the way a scorned lover would say it, in a movie or a yellowback. He has no more connection to the idea than he did as a kid. Less, because it doesn't even scare him.
"That's what it is, right? That it's the anniversary, and I'll never be like Dad." He raises a knee from the floor, pulls it back closer to him. Slings an arm over it. "You love to remind me. The thing is, Dad also left. He loved Mom and he loved me, and none of us wanted it to happen, but it still did. Because love does fuckall to make anyone stay on its own."
He's long past being bitter about it. It's just the facts. Once upon a time he looked into the future and the specter of his friends' happily-ever-after casted lightless, fathomless shadow over him. Love, marriage, that kind of devotion, to a fifteen-year-old with more solved cases than friends seemed so eternal. Final.
But you can only watch your friends build up apps' worth of jilted lovers for so long before getting over it.
"You know what I learned?" Riz tells the drawer. "Love doesn't make anyone stay. Project management does."
He stands up, and picks up the tupperware of Dame Carabelle's casserole, that he helped make, that he helped share with a block's worth of neighbors and members of a community he's at home with, and goes sit at his desk to eat. "Last chance to get any," he drops an offer over his shoulder as he walks away.
He doesn't eat all of his share in one go. What he's spared he leaves on the desk when going outside for a smoke break. Baron looks the exact same as when he saw them last, when he catches a glimpse; they haven't grown at all. They aren't there when he comes back inside, but the leftover has gone days-old cold, like someone's sucked the future out of it.
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dapper-lil-arts · 1 year ago
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had a hilarious thought on my hormones doctor appointment
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bookwyrm-art-stuff · 2 months ago
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I analyze fandoms the same way I analyze the media they're built around and that should concern all of you
#the MXTX fandoms are FASCINATING#They reflect their books#(SVSSS has the most‚ most creative‚ and some of the best AUs and is also twice as unhinged as the other two combined)#(MDZS has the most and prettiest art (the settings and character design cannot be matched) and most interesting dynamic analysis.)#(TGCF has the cleanest (RELATIVE) fandom and the biggest obsession with its main couple (rightly so) It also has the least shipping overlap#but they are also distinct creations of themselves- I've seen the LEAST amount of mpreg in MDZS#(desite the fact that WWX would LOVE that!)#Now why is that? let's think about it#hmm. Well‚ since they already have the juniors‚ a lot less people are making up new kids- and therefore requiring mpreg#or they're taking advantage of characters like Xue Yang who could've used a good dad or two.#very interesting!#but don't worry! this analysis is not confined to the MXTX fandom!#you ever look at how the fandom for The Song of Achilles (TSOA) reflects its books?#First of all they've got some AMAZING art#and the book has amazing descriptions#and‚ interestingly‚ this fandom has unusually well-divided attention among the parts of the book#which reflects a very nice significance everything seemed to have when I read them#we also have a majority of popular AUs that are “they're happy now fuck you‚” my favorite being them adopting Hyacinthus#and honestly? the book wanted them to be happy too#you could feel it#anyway I love analyzing shit and I will never run out of victims#analysis#fandom#mxtx#mdzs#svsss#tgcf#tsoa#ramblings
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likethexan · 6 months ago
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Oenone as a character deserved her own Medea ending, she deserves better than to die for the coward who abandoned her
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arthur-lesters-spinal-cord · 5 months ago
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Rip Noel you were just too pretty and Kayne couldn’t deal with the competition
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longagoitwastuesday · 6 months ago
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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sexynetra · 1 year ago
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Olivia Lux is collecting selfies with my favorite queens tonight like they’re fucking infinity stones
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bhaalsdeepbat · 1 year ago
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Keep thinking about the .00001% chance my Durge has a kid, and how impossible the circumstances would have to be, but also how both posh and feral a child raised by Durge and Astarion would be 😭
Like this baby is so good at using their baby charms to get everything they want but sometimes it's ridiculous shit like. You have this super spoiled child who is kind of a brat sometimes, but secretly a huge softy and is actually VERY well behaved for their parents & extended family...for the most part.
Sometimes a feral streak will hit them and they'll get the combination Dhampir/Bhaalspawn Zoomies. They're running around yelling about paving a path in corpses, Astarion is moving at top Vamp speed to keep up, Storm Sorc Durge flying over every which way trying to prevent shit from breaking/falling. But this is still just a child so at a certain point they overdo it and Astarion & Durge just fucking find them passed out with some squirrels they drained then slaughtered.
But also imagine the hunger this poor child would experience. Like they're the creation of two people with nearly uncontrollable appetites. The "Pets or food?" Dichotomy to an extreme. Living beings are literally their life source and their offering to the God whispering violence in their ear day in & day out. Cus you know Bhaal would be giving that little Bhaalspawn Special Attention. Cus he's petty af.
Like it would be so tragic, but could be such a good "resisting hunger & urges" story to explore esp with having to live their lives with both bc Dhampir Bhaalspawn baby wouldn't have Withers to take Bhaal's blood from them
#withers saw them giving Arabella REALLY bad advice and was like this child will NOT be staying here with you two idiots#she needs better influences#also this situation is so impossible#i think Mercy would have done shit to ruin their reproductive system before being lobotomized#i know it could be fixed magicallu#but they wanted to make sure everything they could do w the control they did have at the time#to end this cycle bc there is no way theyre giving more to the cult when they've already given the bhaalists#everything mercy is and more#but that isnt enough bhaal also wants their children and children's children#that being said#catch me drawing this dhampir bhaalspawn abomination#prettiest little thing with the sharpest claws and a jaw that opens up like#fuck what was that old vampire movie where their mouths opened up four directions#like their faces peeled open#i think the bhaalspawn shit would fuck up how the vampirism manifested#and make this child so fucked up looking when fully transformed but#when in their usual form theyre the prettiest little thing#the sarevok letter out here singlehandedly supporting my thought that Durge would still have some Durge Things going on#bhaal just took away their inheritance AND his ability to take over their body like a puppet was rescinded#i think Durge would still have Durge Thoughts#but it isnt their blood whispering and fighting to take control. they're#just dealing with intrusive thoughts that dont take over and cause them to black out#but they see that happening to THEIR child????#like the helplessness knowing they cant do a damn thing#astarion and durge going on a journey to save their baby#neither of them wanted the damn thing but now theyre attached 🙄#bat writes#never love an anchor
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emmafaeru · 2 years ago
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one of the things that's insane to me about terraria is it's lack of online prescence. it's the 10th best selling video game of all time. there's like 3 people who make videos about it. it's been around for 13 years. there's not even 400 fics tagged as terraria on ao3. 45 million people have played it. there are maybe 4 pieces of fanart somwhere if you really dig for them. and the crazy part is I totally agree. I have never wanted to create about terraria. I have rarely if ever wanted to consume content about terraria. this is a game I have a disgusting amount of hours in and I would give a very high rating of and I have never once gone feral over it like I have with other things I consume. terraria is this ball of awesomeness of a game mixed with this complete fucking undecipherable void of a prescence and i think it's insane
#if we're actually thinking about why though#1) the complete lack of story/worldbuilding/setting/ heavily discourages any attempt of a narrative#it would be like trying to write a captivating story about minecraft steve in minecraft block world#'but minecraft has so many stories thought up in it! like [insert minecraft smp]'#2) yes but consider that minecraft's relatively short - and frankly unfulfilling - progression#means that after you beat minecraft the only thing left to do is to create - either with yourself or other people#which incidentally is also why minecraft servers are such a big thing - becuase of that natural steer into playing with other ppl#however (as anyone who's tried to beat it knows) terraria has a LOT of progression - and it's all built to be extremly satisfying progress#which means when you beat terraria. you can beat it again! in any one of 2098456 ways you choose all of which give you a unique playthrough#incidentally this is also why in my experience servers are so much less of a thing in terraria#while the modding scene is sososo much bigger and relevant - tapping into that 'replay the thing but DIFFERENT' again type of replayability#I'm comparing terraria and minecraft btw because both are sandbox games but they have wildly different prescences#and often times people will write minecraft having more content down as 2d/terraria being more limiting creatively#but actually some of the prettiest builds in a videogame I've seen were in 2d/terraria#I think there's a more fundamental difference at play there#in the type of replayability that mc and terraria offer#one kind of forces you to create or play with others if you want more out of it#while the other offers this kind of seemingly endless well of challenges that never steers you in that co-op/creative direction#both are great in their own right#but it means that minecraft has more content 'staying power' as it is a space designed first and foremost to steer players into creating#and also most importantly - cooperating and playing with others to creat together#while terraria more often focuses on that core gameplay experience/challenge#while never steering/forcing players into that creating/co-opting space#unless they intentionally seek out that experience for themselves#see - the terraria builder community (not massive last time I checked) and server players (I don't think they exist)#also 3) eye of cthullu is stupid hard to draw in 3d without doubling over laughing#like 👁️ <- oh man look who's floating ominously!! he sure is gonna getchu!!#^ I ramble about things#also i still think terraria is better than minecraft. for the record
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yoihino · 10 months ago
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I see your 'Jax is an npc' theories and I raise you 'the one who actually is an npc is not Jax but Ragatha instead'. Because I think it being Jax is way too obvious (as we are only at the 2nd episode, if it was obvious at later in the season it would be understandable) and Ragatha would have much more impact on Pomni and everyone else on the cast than anyone else (drawing a parallel with Gumigoo, as well as Pomni not feeling so alone because of both of them).
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xumoonhao · 1 year ago
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the day kpop companies realize not every group needs a rap line and when producers realize not all songs need a rap part is the day we will know peace. unfortunately, until then we will continue to suffer 🙏🏻
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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I just had an interview at a pet store and when the manager took me upstairs to the office there was a CAT and I lightly gasped and said, "Oh hello!" And the manager said, "That's Ravioli, guardian of the office," GOD I hope I get hired
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kisssukuna33 · 27 days ago
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HusbandSukuna! Who's never been the one to understand today's relationships. 50/50? No, his woman will never touch a single bill with her delicate fingers as long as he's alive and well.
HusbandSukuna! Who never understood the whole "giving your relationship time before proposing" thing. You aren't a real man if you drag out your relationship and take what you have for granted, Atleast that must have been what he was thinking when he put a big rock on your finger after dating for only 7 months.
HusbandSukuna! Who takes his role as your fiancé VERY seriously. He asked you to move in with him just right after he proposed. He does everything he can to make sure you feel comfortable in his house. He even went as far to renovate half of the house to your liking despite your much protesting that it's not needed.
HusbandSukuna! Who checks everyday to see if you are wearing the ring he put on you. it almost become a habbit for him to kiss the ring in your finger every single morning. Not just in the morning, whenever you two hangout in the public he intentionally kisses it to give other people the signal that his girl is strictly taken.
HusbandSukuna! Who wants to get married as soon as possible but he respect your time and choices. He doesn't want you to get overwhelmed by this at all, so he waits patiently ( had to restraint himself from asking like 5 times)
HusbandSukuna! Who gets so freaking happy when you finally confront him about being ready for marriage. The moment those words slip from your mouth his hands instantly go to your waist to pull you closer, closer till your foreheads are touching, He places a warm kiss on your temple and the next thing you hear makes your heart warm and fuzzy.
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me, I promise to be the best husband and I swear on my life I will take care of you and protect you till I die, I love you"
HusbandSukuna! Who jumps straight into the wedding planning. He hears from his married friends how stressful wedding planning was to them and he determines to not make you experience any bit of the stress, He tries everything in his power to make things go smooth as possible.
HusbandSukuna! Who breakdown in tears the moment he saw you walking the aisle to everyone's shock. The grumpy tatted 6'4 scary big guy who has given them nothing but attitude crying over seeing the love of his life walking down aisle? Who would have thought.
HusbandSukuna! Who immediately intertwine your fingers with his as he looks into your eyes like he sees nothing but the whole world in them and wait no minute to whisper "The prettiest, mine"
HusbandSukuna! who finally breaks free from his staring as the wedding officiant clears his throat to let him know that there's a whole wedding left to finish.
Everyone expect him to do a short vow and get done with it. Sukuna isn't known as the most expressive guy after all, but to everyone's surprise the vow lasted whole 15 minutes!! It was filled with nothing but love and appreciation for you and the little grin plastered in his mouth at the end of the vow makes it obvious how proud he was of himself ( I mean practicing this costed him a years worth friend too, after he suggested Sukuna to add some dirty degrading sex joke about you in the vows he ended up punching the guy as a result, so hell yeah he's proud of this!)
HusbandSukuna! Who keeps the honeymoon destination as a surprise till last minute, and your heart fills with joy as you realize he took you back to the beach you two first met, a place special to you both.
He booked the hotel room with the best view to the beach as expected.
HusbandSukuna! Who's heart feel warm all of a sudden, it's only a year ago he believed himself to be someone who's unable to be loved. Oh how much have changed since then.
HusbandSukuna! Who takes your hand and drags you to the balcony for a dance.
The smell of the beach, evening lightening, sounds of the ocean..All adds to the atmosphere as you two get lost in yourselves.
HusbandSukuna! Who takes a glance at the beach and sees a young family, not much older than both of you playing in the sand with their little girl.
HusbandSukuna! Who has a small smile tugged at his lips as he mentally promises to himself that he will return here again after you two finally complete your own little family.
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No grammar checks, forgive me I'm too lazy
What do we think about part 2?
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prlssprfctn · 19 days ago
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AU, where Bruce accidentally gets de-aged (physically and mentally), and the first person he bumps in is... Red Hood.
To Jason's defence, he didn't connect the dots at first. He was just patrolling around his usual turf, thinking of nothing in particular, when he saw a small child in a ridiculously serious suit, sulking around Crime Alley. He looks distraught, and considering that he looks rich, it is no surprise - that is not a place for him. So, he is either lost or something happened, right?
He takes the helmet off, as he usually does when he is dealing with kids (they got scared easily) and carefully approaches a brooding baby.
'Hey, shrimp. Where are your parents at?'
That said shrimp turns around, his big blue eyes looking confused and lost, and Jason thinks he looks awfully familiar.
'I am not shrimp,' he protests instantly, pouting at him. 'And they are somewhere... here. We just left the movie theatre together!'
Jason glances at the abandoned movie theatre, back at the little rich boy with a familiar frown, and it clicks. This is his fucking dad. Suddenly, a kid - but it is fucking Bruce Wayne, for sure.
'Was watching Zorro by any chance?' Jason still asks, just to be sure that he is not going insane.
Bruce - and it must be him - beams at him.
'Yes! This is a great movie, by the way.'
Oh, hell. At least, he didn't witness his parents' death just yet. Jason wasn't sure he would be able to deal with his father being so small, and mourning his mom and dad. He would probably cry himself at some point.
'Hey,' Jason calls out for him slowly, squatting down; God, who would've thought that this little shrimp would become so tall and big in the future. 'Aren't you... You must be Thomas's kid, right?'
Okay, yeah, Jason is going to lie to this kid. Because there is no way he manages just to steal Bruce as a stranger to bring him back home; it is still a kid, even if it is his father. Right?
'You know my dad?' Bruce tilts his head, little fingers tugging on the hem of his jacket; suspicious.
'You could say that,' Jason nods. 'Alfie... I mean, Alfred called me. Asked me to pick up a kid, since Thomas and Martha got an urgent call.'
Fuck his life and stupid life choices. What the hell he was even doing? He looked like a mugger; or like a psycho. But Alfred was his best bet - he could call him, after all; ask, well, support his idiotic made-up story.
'No one calls Alfred Alfie but my dad,' Bruce pouts in a very, very spoiled manner.
'Well... I do. We served together in the army,' he blurts out.
His armour, apparently, is enough a proof for the kid to nod slowly.
'Okay. But you gotta take off your strange mask first,' Bruce folds arms on his chest.
...???
Did this kid just agree for an unknown man to take him home? Like this? Who could've thought that this pouty child would become the most paranoid man alive in the future?
'Uh, why?'
'So I can remember your face and do an identikit, if you turn out to be a bad guy,' Bruce smirks stupidly. 'Duh.'
Jason is going to cry. This kid is so cute.
'Yeah, duh,' Jason huffs, but despite his better judgment takes the domino mask off as well. 'Go on, take your time. My identikit should be the prettiest, shrimp.'
Bruce... gawks at him. His eyes are comically wide now, mouth open, and then, he jumps a little closer to him - oh, God, he is jumping when excited? - putting his hellishly cold hands on Jason's cheeks.
'Woah. You look like dad.'
'Uh,' Jason nods awkwardly, and because he is an idiot, adds a joke: 'We are brothers, actually. Just don't talk much.'
...Apparently, little Bruce can't take jokes. Because he lets out an adorable gasp, and throws himself on Jason as if they knew each other for ages now.
'Uncle? That's so cool. You look like Zorro!'
Damn this little kid, and this stupid family. Damn Joe Chill and the night he killed this kid's parents. Damn it all. Bruce might be an asshole sometimes, but he was so... cute and innocent.
'Thanks, shrimp,' Jason slides a domino mask back on, picks up little Bruce with one arm, and grips a helmet with another. 'Come on, let's go home. Alfred will make your favourite tiramisu.'
'You know my favourites?!'
Jason sniffles.
'Yeah. Yeah, I do, kid.'
If he gets so emotional over this kid, he has no idea how worse Dick is going to be once he finds out.
Oh, this is going to be one hell of a night.
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daemonbrain · 2 months ago
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"One of me is cute but two though!"
2.4k, cw: breeding kink, smut, kinda baby trapping (?), not proofread
a/n: based off Juno by Sabrina Carpenter hehe happy reading :)
Simon would go to the ends of the earth for his bird. You wanted to watch your favorite movie for the millionth time with him? Done. You were craving take out from that special spot across town in the middle of the night? He’s placing your order and grabbing his keys to go pick it up after a quick goodbye kiss. You wanted him to kill a little red-haired prick who got too close to you -grazed your arm- yesterday at 17:37 while in a crowded line when he went to the loo, with his bare hands? Fan-tastic. (He may be projecting a little)
But he was worried. He might not be the most perceptive man, but he wasn’t so thick headed he couldn’t see the signs.
The way you made googly eyes at every baby you passed by. Fuck sakes he had never seen so. many. babies. 
Little things everywhere nowadays, though it might just be he’s now paying enough attention to notice. It definitely helped the unintentional search that your grip on his arm tightened every time you saw one. Your soft coos as you turned to him to say for a third time in a row that the babe was the “cutest thing you had ever seen”.
He loved you like he loved his gun after it got him out of a tough spot (he loved you more, but he's pretty poor at putting an example on it), but there was one thing he was wholly unsure he could give you. Being a father has never been something he was sure of, his own making his childhood a living hell assuring him that it wasn’t in his genes or anywhere in his future. He came to terms with that years ago and shoved the idea out of his mind entirely. 
As you both sat down at a coffee shop while taking a break from your park walk, you just happened to get seated right next to another woman, a stroller in your direct view.
Fuckin’ great.
Biting your lip you take a peek at the chubbiest little thing in a deep sleep. Catching the gaze of the mother you smile. “She’s adorable” you chirped. 
As the mother responded with a smile of her own, Simon felt a foot gently nudging his leg as gave him the prettiest eyes. Did you even try to hide it anymore? No, you really didn’t. Eyes filled with thinly veiled intentions, eyes that said “Look how cute! Jump across this table and give me one now,” 
“Isn’t she cute Si?!”
He sighed and replied in his usual grumble, “course, ‘er little jumper is nice.” Tactics. Swiftly move out from the topic and do not let the missus see the little bows… on the jumper… he just pointed- for fucks sake you saw it.
After quite some time giggling with the mother over photos, because of course that had to be the natural progression of things, Simon observed in his characteristic shadow-like demeanor before the little one began to fuss in her sleep. The mother excused herself and the babe to nurse and it’s then you finally turn back to your silent companion with your usual beaming.
“ ‘avin fun there, yeah?” He laughed which came out more as a snort as you mockingly kicked him under the table.
“I am as a matter of fact!”
Pulling his hands into the air in surrender he looks you head on. “Okay, I get it.”
“The baby was just so- ugh! Did you see how chubby she was? Her little hair.. Gosh!” Stay on task. Do not get distracted by the target's beautiful smile or laugh. Someone had to be the voice of rationale after all.
“Like I said ‘er jumper was nice, luv.”
When the pout came to your lips, he considered it a success (you were hot either way) and chalked the whole thing as a minor bump in the road. Whatever this baby fever was would pass.
Nonetheless, he should’ve known his bird better than that. She wasn’t a quitter, that’s for damn sure. As you cooked up dinner in that cute apron and served it plated up so nicely it dawned on him just how… domestic this all was.
It was nice, he concluded. Calm.
You remained pensive and quiet for the most part during dinner, clearly desperate to say what you had been on your mind for weeks. He could see the way your mind's gears turned, wanting to blurt it out. Like an animal going feral at the bars of its cage. Except your the animal and your cage is the inherent trust you will not go awol and chuck your birth control pills into the trash while he’s not watching.
“Simon…” 
Here it comes.
Simon grunted out his response while chewing on his food, looking up to meet your cautious gaze. Leaning across the table you gently lay your hand on his which held his fork, pushing it down.
“I’ve been thinking… a lot lately.” There you went with that look again. “Have you… ever thought of kids before? I- I know we’ve had this talk before… but-”
“C’mere.”
He outstretched his big arms and patted his lap. With quick acceptance you hurried over and let him pull you on top of him, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on your ass for support. The deep kneading of it was also for support of course. 
“You know how I feel about them. ‘Is jus not somethin I think about, luvie.” He didn’t dare look away from your eyes. If he was about to take that gleam out of your eyes he at least owed it to you to watch.
You grabbed his face with a light touch and caressed the stubble which had begun to grow with a look beginning to resemble a spot of desperation. Pressing yourself further into his body, you couldn’t help your protests.
“Si.. I just- I want one so bad.” You began to slide your hand down the side of his neck, pressing forward to gently place a kiss. Leaning your forehead in the junction between his shoulder and neck you continued before he could respond.
“Don’t you? A little baby with us all the time.”
Someone had to be the voice of reason and Simon was going to have to put his foot down on this.
“You’re not thinkin straigh’, luv. It would be cute-” He was cut off in shock as he felt the slight rock of your hips as you cowered into his shoulder.
“Just imagine it! One of me is cute enough, but two!” The pace began to speed up as you blatantly started grinding against him. He let out a little huff. Voice of reason. Though his reason was nowhere to be found when he put his hand that was idly on the chair to your backside to encourage the movement.
You knew what came next, you had to sweeten the pot. You knew you were being mean, but you just had to! You were practically given no choice!
“Don’t you want that Si! Don’t you wanna make something together?” You all but pleaded. He looked straight past your head with a crumbling steely demeanor. Fuck.
You already began to tug at his shirt and with a final glare, Simon couldn’t help but look at his pretty bird. His pretty bird on top of the prize she coveted, heat passing between their bodies. Just one time. One time and then they could talk about this properly. 
Simon gathered you up in his arms and stood while pressing an eager kiss to your lips. It was a soft and long thing as he brought you both to the bedroom you shared. He threw you down on the bed and stripped himself as you excitedly did the same.
Smiling up at him as if you won. You did not win. This was not a win, right? You were on your birth control either way, he would pull out as needed. What harm is there in fucking his own girl.
Pushing you on to your back he parted your legs to look what lay between them. There was the prize he was most proud of. Puffy cunt at the mercy of the cool air being pushed out by the vents. You were already beginning to shine.
“You were just waiting for it weren’t you? Knew I couldn’t leave you hanging, yeah?”
With a giggle you spread your thighs further and wiggled your hips teasingly. Simon dropped to his knees and pulled your body to the edge of the bed. Throwing each of your legs on either of his shoulders he spit into your cunt, taking two thick fingers and rubbing it in, catching on to your hole lightly as he played with the slick. He could see the way your stomach tightened as he circled your clit and he winded you up further when he firmly flicked it.
“Si” you whined.
“Wha’ is it?” He grinned as he lowered his head to press a kiss down. Devolving from a kiss, he grabbed onto one of your thighs with a strong grip and began to sloppily lick while you let out your breathy little moans, sensitive to the absolute tank holding you still as he ate straight from the source.
He licked and it just kept going. Dragging his tongue around your cunt, up to your puffy clit. He harshly sucked as he latched on to it drawing a cry from your vulnerable form. Tugging at his hair, he only looks up with his eyes, refusing to pull away his mouth. 
Shaking your head with wide eyes you couldn’t help but push your fluffy little agenda.
“Si please. Please. Please, I need it! I’d never ask for anything else-” you moaned in surprise once again as he added a finger into your hole. Willing himself to pull away from you, Simon continued to fuck his finger into you as he spoke up, spittle and slick coating his mouth. He had to switch gears, use logic (and cum) to deter you.
“We’d never have time. All this?-” He added another finger into your clenching pussy “Gone. We’d be cleaning spit up instead.”
“We’d have a baby!” You exclaimed insistently.
You were practically off the edge, usually by now Simon had you fucked into your own little world. This incessant begging for a little one of your own is keeping you sharper than usual. He’d fix that.
“Please Simon” You pulled him up, the strain of his cock to be inside you encouraging him to follow your movements. He looked at you pretty tits, pretty like everything else on you. Taking a nipple between his fingers and rolling hard.
“These’d get all full.”
Fuck that backtracked his own point. His mind fighting back the onslaught of thoughts at the sight of your tits growing round and heavy because of something he could do. Would your body get all soft- NO.
Lining himself up and looking at that pleading expression, the only time he’d ever seen you so wanting of something you were willing to roll around with nothing else on your mind.
“Just one Si, just one with your eyes your nose your hair-” Your breath went short as he pushed himself in, giving shallow thrusts to feed into your aching cunt. Recomposing yourself you gripped on to his bicep, “Just do it, lock me down tonight.”
Simon couldn’t help the way he subconsciously began pushing your thighs up to give himself a deeper angle, your ankles dangling weightlessly above your head, knees to your chest. The groans which sounded through the room as his hips hammered into you in a desperate chase. 
The two of you could do nothing but stare into each other's eyes, losing yourselves in each other while your cunt squeezes him like a vice. Determined to keep him there, body obstinately stuck on one thing.
 Someone had to be the voice of reason. Someone had to object to a little one with his eyes and your personality. Someone had to be rational and not think about painting the nursery while you waddled about. Someone had to remain level-headed and not imagine the way your eyes would light up with unfettered joy.
You tossed your head back and he couldn’t help but grip your face in his hand, tugging it right back to him.
“With me luv, with me. Look at me.”
Someone had to be rational.
Nodding your head shakily you keep your eyes on the massive man pounding away at you, feeling the way your stomach bulges trying to accommodate all of him, your cunt coaxing him further into the sticky trap.
Your body begging for one thing, you looked like you needed it. Tongue lolling out of your mouth as you were fucked stupid, sweat collecting on your brow. You looked perfect. Your whining swallowed by his own mouth when he presses another kiss to your swollen lips, body enduring in hopes the fat cock ruthlessly disturbing its peace would grant it the big load it craved.
Someone had to be rational?
Maybe it was the way you sucked him in, the way he couldn’t stop thrusting into you, but it’s as if your body sent some message to the receptors in his mind. All that flashed before him images of happy and full and with his baby.
As if you could sense his thoughts, your own peak quickly overcame you white hot. The way you spasmed around him with a loud cry of pure ecstasy.
“Give it to me!” You somehow managed. His mind went blank as drunk off the pleasure as you were, the only thing he could do was thrust, unable to comprehend anything else.
 A shame Simon couldn’t be rational when it came to his bird.
With the final slam of his hips, his release went into the deepest depths of you. His grip on your hips burning from how tight it was as he kept himself flush against you.
It took a few moments to come down from the high. Simon looked at your sweaty face, hazy from lack of energy. Maybe you did win this one, but he really didn't get all this effort (not that he was complaining) if you were still on birth control.
Birth control... which he hasn't had to remind you to take for quite some time...
Out of pure curiosity at his realization, he gently pushed the two of you further up the bed while keeping you plugged up. Opening the first drawer he manages to grab the box which contained your birth control pills. Upon further inspection, he notices it remains unopened and untouched. Shaking his head with a gruff laugh he peers down at you as you shiver from the rumble.
“Dirty girl”
You just smiled.
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