#when shit goes down your kids will be relying on your help and support.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

#the homeowner thing though. that i am bitter about

crazy how at my age my parents already had children (that they were in no way equipped to raise)

[judasgot-it]

Dad! Jouno headcanons...

He just looks like a stressed as hell father here. Someone help him.

Before ->

To be totally honest, I don't think Jouno would ever plan to be a father. He would never plan to be one simply because he is completely aware of how horrible of a person he is

Why would he bring someone into the world who could be exactly like him? Or worse, he would end up being a horrible parent?

He would just avoid any topic about it.

So parenthood is 100% an accident. Also, this guy would probably try to convince his gf to get an abortion at some point, cause he probably thinks he would make a child that's just that horrible

I feel like the best chance of him becoming a parent would be him not knowing about it when he got arrested and was forced into being a hunting dog. Can't tell your gf to abort when you're in jail ig. Also now he is legally obligated to pay child support. GOTTEM!

Personal theory tho.

He probably wouldn't be jumping for joy at the thought of parenthood tbh. If anything, he is freaking out. I feel like he's in between denial and freaking out. Probably gave some weird rant about the government.

During pregnancy ->

If he's miraculously there (I think the last part is more plausible. This would be his #felonera) then he would be stressed as hell

Dude knows that it's inevitable (unless he throws her down the stairs. or smothers the baby. He probably thinks some weird shit it's Jouno sorry) so now he has to prepare for a very near future of being a father

He can't have sex for what might be the next few years. He has to learn how to take care of a baby. He's made Tecchou-like food combo's now. His life is hell.

Jouno I think would only be dramatic for a month and then get over it quickly -> he has two people relying on him now. Even past his kid being born, he will inevitably have to take care of his baby mom for a while after and will have to provide. Like a dad.

He probably loves the attention and the title it gives him. Probably starts owning it and is thinking 'yeah, actually, I'm going to be an awesome dad' because he gets brownie points for doing the bare minimum as a man

Dude would be kinda ridiculous and do lots of shit just so he can get praise. He's going to be a great dad, so yea, ofc he's going to buy weird useless shit no one would actually use. It's what good dad's do (he's not even pregnant and is suffering from baby brain I think)

Is probably terrified of touching his gf because he is more than aware that his child is in there and it unnerves him. Probably is super freakish about the most random shit, like drinking coffee or going up and down stairs since he can hear whats going on.

His normal level of anxiety goes through the roof during this time. I feel like they won't ever go back down again.

During the birth he would probably be supportive although I think the sounds and smells would be so horrific for him that he would vomit and be kicked out by nursing staff

I feel like the birth was so bad for him to hear (sensitive hearing would be terrible. and smell) that he would be crying as if he pushed a baby out of his hole

Raising that Child (early years) ->

The early years are the worst for him. He still is in a stage between "I want to be a good dad" and "I'm a horrible person I literally have fucking killed people. He doesn't know I have killed people and enjoyed it"

Would have this crisis with a literal baby btw. Probably has full on very serious conversations with his kid about morality when his kid still drinks from the tit

I don't think he'd enjoy being around his kid fully until he starts actually forming full thoughts. Obviously, he loves him, but he enjoys weird kid questions much more than a baby who shits himself

Eggs him on too, tries to make him think until his brain hurts. He thinks it's funny, making a seven-year-old wrap his head around the concept of global shipping and LLCs.

He wouldn't give his kid normal child entertainment. It's all educational and weird shit. Also is very picky about their toys, he's basically a beige mom but its about noises and smells. NEVER give his kid something like slime, he'll go insane.

I think he's 100% the 'bad cop' parent because he would have a lot of rules that a little kid wouldn't get. I feel like the other Hunting Dogs would get on his ass about it

I think Jouno probably worries a lot about giving his kid a good childhood since I doubt his was good - he was alive during the great war as a kid, he turned into a criminal, and he's an ability user. not the best circumstances.

100% has been forced to bring his kid to his job, but he doesn't actually introduce him to any of his actual duties. Torturing? He can't know about that.

Jouno lets his kid hang out with his colleagues -> probably Tachihara, who I think would play the best 'uncle' role out of all of them

Later years ->

Personally, I think Jouno would have a son, but I don't think its a curse. I think it would actually be a sort of blessing, because Jouno was probably a lot nicer of a person before whatever fucked up shit happened that made him the way he is now.

Mentioning this cause I think his son would probably be a direct reflection of who he could have been -> more happy and carefree, and less on the offensive about everything

So when his kid gets older, Jouno is probably some weird guy who tries to tell his kid everything he 'wished he knew at that age'

Probably got his son to have a sex talk from one of the hunting dogs doctors. it was a traumatic bonding experience for the both of them.

He definitely fake kidnapped his kid like 3 times in case something happened. Jouno is a super soldier, but his son is not. He needs to learn how to stab people.

Gave his son a gun/knife. Insists he brings it school, no he does not care if it's against the rules - he literally is the law. His son is also a target, so it is necessary in his eyes.

God please someone stop him he thinks someone is going to murder his son every second of every day

I'm pretty sure his son is some dweeb that Jouno is almost jealous of - like he never got the opportunity to be a dork who cries about homework. he was too busy killing people in his gang at that age

Jouno definitely drops the most insane dad lore. "I killed werewolves in Kenya once" while in the middle of a PTA meeting

Worst PTA mom btw. He WILL interrogate his sons teachers and pull up their records, he is the worst parent. He really shouldn't be allowed there actually

Is a lot nicer to his kid when his son is older.

He isn't his 'best friend' but he tries to do everything he can to be a good dad -> he lives everyday thinking that it'd be his last one with his family, so he tries not to leave with a bad impression

Jouno probably lies awake at night with the thought of what his last words could be to his family

The bitchy teen years would be the worst cause Jouno would probably have the best comebacks, so any sort of argument would be shot down immediately.

i dont think he lets arguments fly at dinner. If he's even there. He would be very busy, so I think his schedule would be erratic. Although I think his son would be the same and stay up at 3 am and get a lecture from him

The hunting dogs all try to teach his son about basic things like shooting and self-defense -> Teruko definitely shot at him once or twice so he knows how to avoid an assassination attempt.

Was actually really proud that his son graduated from school and is a relatively normal member of society. He never even killed someone, that's a high achievement!

[breezypunk]

2069-2082: Diary of a merc

2069: You were confused. You felt more alone than ever before. At only 19 you thought you had the world at your fingertips, but everything changed. You met a guy and you thought you were in love, but he turned out to be a prick. You relied on him for everything, you even told him your deepest secrets. He used it against you, and most of the clan ultimately turned hostile when seeing you around. You were hurting, emotionally more than anything. Is this what it felt like to be a burden?

Time to join snake nation! Except for you it was time to escape. You thought you could handle being on your own, it was better than being with people who wanted to see you at your worst. No, this was your time for freedom, to find people who accepted you for who you were, not what others wanted you to be to fit the mold, not what people thought a "proper" Bakker should be. You are a nomad, you are a fighter, you spent 4 years on the run searching for a place to call home. But you were alone, and it felt like a roller coaster. You ran into people who helped you briefly, you stayed in tents and abandoned trailers until you finally made your way to a place where you were destined to change your life. You found Night City, and maybe it was finally time to retire your nomad roots. You just wanted to rest for once in your life.

2074: Night City has been an interesting experience for you. You'd only been there for less than a year, and already found yourself with many enemies. You didn't know there were so many gangs walking around, but you found a home with The Mox. They took you in as one of their own when you had nothing to your name, some nights you barely remembered your name. Getting drunk and forgetting the bad shit was your calling. You frequented around Lizzie's bar for two months before being found by Susanna Quinn, who just became the new owner of the bar. You were grateful, but you were scared and understandably so. You were offered a job as a bartender to try and get back on your feet, and even started a small fling with Susanna herself when late nights after the bar was closed, you two found yourselves in her office talking about your pasts, and eventually one thing led to another. It wasn't based on true feelings, touch was always your love language, and you didn't know what real love felt like, you just wanted to feel like someone cared, you let anyone who could give you that in, even when you knew it was pretend.

You are a street kid, or rather.. you inherited the traits of one. In the back of your mind you wondered what it would be like to be a nomad again, where your true freedom really lies, but than remembered freedom was taken from you during that time. You just wanted to find yourself, and you are on the right track. You are accepted by your new friends, you knew The Mox would take care of you. For years after, you'd never forget who was there for you when you were at your lowest point.

2077: Things went ass up for you, and not in a good way. You found yourself in a lot of danger, but most importantly, you're quite literally going insane. Moving to Night City was suppose to be a positive change for you, but somehow, someway, Vaughn Leblanc always manages to find himself lying face down in a pile of cow shit. Question is, how do you find your way out? You meet someone. He begs you for help, and maybe you can hardly hear him because you're too busy staring, but he knows you need him as much as he needs you, and right now you're pretty much digging yourself a grave, with Johnny Silverhand on your left with a second shovel. You thought you were gonna make it in this world, you managed to get a job doing merc work, you found yourself an apartment, you were making the big bucks, kiddo. But nothing ever goes as planned in your life, and when did it ever? You had a choice, die or live. You wanted to live, and your talking emotional support brain tumor wanted to help you.

Times are officially tougher than they've ever been, but you're tougher than you've ever been, you had no choice. You lost everything, and it was up to you to find it, to start over and have this last chance to make something of your life before it was too late. You are a lone-wolf. You walked a lonely road, and lonely it was. It was a lesson well learned, you needed that taste of loneliness to get you were you are today. You were always a lone wolf, it just took you a long time to admit you liked it.

2082: After everything you've been through over the last few years, you've finally managed to find some peace in your life. You have obstacles, a lot in fact, but it's nothing you've never been able to get through. You've built an empire with your found family, to be there for each other and lean on each other through tough times, something that you've never experienced before moving to the big city. Running away from a group of people who couldn't have cared less was the best thing to ever happen to you.

You fell in love for real, you spent five years with someone who helped you understand what love truly felt like. You settled down and even got yourself an apartment and became a cat dad. You could finally rest if you wanted. Of course there's never any rest for the wicked, and you still have a lot of unfinished business. But your life was starting to finally have some meaning, and you were happier than you'd ever been. You are a nomad forever, you spend a lot of time out in the badlands and you spend time protecting your clan, The Aldecaldos. You're comfortable there, you're comfortable leading with your best friend Panam, and it took time to feel comfortable, and sometimes you and your family don't see eye to eye, but you will protect them until your last breath, there's not a thing you wouldn't do for them.

Jackie would be proud.

[erodasfishtacos]

Is this seat empty? " Yes and this one will be too if you sit down" , "Don't be like that my love."

For MLB!Harry first stupid fight in a relationship 😂

Okay this turned into something entirely different then the prompt. Sorry anon 😂

—

Peace & Quiet (Please)

If you enjoy please like, reblog, comment, or come talk to me!

I write for free so if you enjoy my work please consider donating to my kofi page.

-

“Where d’you put m’protein mix?” Harry asks, padding into the kitchen and opening every single fucking cabinet.

“It’s in the same place it’s been for the past five years,” YN bites out with a slight irritation, mixing the pancake batter a little rougher.

She’s been up since three in the morning and Harry sauntered in around six-thirty after coming home late from a baseball game last night.

All the babies still asleep.

“Ah - fuck,” Her husband huffs when he spills the powder all over the countertop and floor she had just swiffered ten minutes ago.

When he goes to open the other cabinet and grab for a shaker bottle - they all come tumbling out onto the floor in a loud clash.

“Could you be any louder? You going to wake up the kids!” YN scolds harshly, pointing to the closet, “Go get the swiffer.”

He obliges - surprised by her attitude, grabbing it and slapping it (by accident) on the ground like a fucking baseball bat, the head of the mop snapping off and breaking.

“S’broken,” Harry states the obvious, shrugging and going about peeling a banana before leaving the peel near the sink.

YN turns to face him, voice irritated, “I’m about to break you, just like you broke the swiffer.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” He asks cheekily but her glare tells him there is no amusement to be had this morning.

“I just spent all morning cleaning and you’ve made this place a disaster already!” His wife bites before flipping one of the pancakes.

Harry dejectedly cleans up his protein mix mess, neatly places the shake bottles into the right place, throws away the peel, and closes all the cabinets.

“M’sorry,” He murmurs, coming up behind her and kisses the nape of her neck, “Y’seem a bit cranky this mornin’.”

And man. He should have not said that.

“Do you have a baby who needs to fucking feed from your body every hour even during the night? I don’t think so,” She mutters, shaking him off of her.

“Hey, mama. M’bein’ an ass, what can I do to help?” He changes gears, choosing to stand next to her since she didn’t seem to want to be touch.

“Breastfeed - let your nipples feel like their constantly on fire and about to fall off. Make all this post-partum bleeding stop. Let me sleep for a day straight. I don’t know,” YN begins to sniffles, plating a few mini pancakes.

He’s taken aback, eyebrows furrowing in concern, and he leans forward to flip off the stovetop, “Can I touch you?”

She nods, wiping her eyes, and allows him to haul her up into their marble countertop, “Mama, y’need to tell me when y’feeling overwhelmed? Please baby. I’ve asked you a million times to wake me up and I can bottle feed her.”

“No, she…I have to feed her. It helps bonding and it-“

Harry interrupts firmly, “She will be perfectly fine being fed by a bottle a few times a day. You’re putting too much stress on yourself.”

Her head falls on his shoulder and she mumbles, “I just feel so…gross, not attractive at all.”

He pulls her back, searching her face in confusion, “Baby, why would you ever say somethin’ like that?”

YN let’s out a quiet sob, “My nipples are chafed and sore, I’m constantly bleeding, my belly hasn’t deflated -“

Harry can’t help but lean in and connect their lips harshly, he’s pulling her loose shirt up and over her head.

“Harry, what-“

“Listen t’me,” Harry rasps seriously, his hands are tender and careful as they cup her swollen breasts - thumbing at her painful nubs.

“I’m literally obsessed w’your tits, baby. They’ll go back to normal after y’done feeding and even if they don’t - I love them just as fucking much. You fed our three healthy strong boys and now you’re makin’ sure our chunky little girl is eating good.”

Then he hands move to cup her belly, large hands splayed over the still softening, firm bump from where Briar had been housed for nine months.

“Y’gave me four, four fuckin’ babies from this belly. I’m fucking in love with your body. God, y’thighs, y’tummy, the stretchmarks - fuck, getting me hard just lookin’ at you.”

It was true, he was stiffening up in his shorts but neither of them acknowledged it - it was a love boner more than anything else.

He literally got hard from how much he loved her.

“I’m tired,” She sighs softly, letting Harry tug her shirt back on as the children would be waking up soon to eat breakfast.

“I know, mama,” Harry acknowledges softly, giving her another kiss before taking over the pancake station.

-

When all the boys are downstairs and chomping away on their food, Cash, who is just about four decides it’ll be funny to squirt the sticky syrup all over their expensive stool cushions and the floor.

When YN turns from the sink to see the mess, she admits she snaps a little bit, “Really Harry? You’re supposed to be watching them, not checking the sports news on your phone!”

Harry is about to defend himself but his wife is stomping over to where Cash has emptied the bottle and gives him a firm look, “Cash Edward Styles, get your bum upstairs, right now.”

Cash’s eyes widen, his mother rarely needed to use a harsh tone with them, “Mama, I’m so-“

“If you are not upstairs, by the bathtub this instant, you get no outside time today. Do you understand me?” YN tells him, giving Easton a warning look when he licks at the syrup on his finger.

“Yes mama,” Cash squeaks out sadly, abandoning his plate and walking up towards the bathroom upstairs to get clean.

Easton and Ezra are dead silent as they watch their brother leave - not wanting the same fate as him so they sit proper.

“Sweetheart-“ Harry begins, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“No, I have my hands full taking care of four kids. I don’t need you acting like a fifth. Go bathe your son,” YN tells him coldly, an angry stare directed his way.

Harry clenches his jaw, biting his tongue as he stands up and pushes his chair in with force - making a loud noise before following after his second son.

A few minutes after they’re out of sight, Easton thought it’d be funny to wipe syrup down Ezra’s cheek which made Ezra cry and throw a pancake at his older brother - now soaking him in syrup.

YN starts to leak milk at the sound of Ezra’s cries.

“Easton Robin - get you butt upstairs this instant too. You know better - no outside time today,” She informs him as she uses a wet wipe to clean Ezra’s cheek.

“Mama,” Easton whines, fat tears starting roll down his cheeks as he stands up, loitering by the kitchen stool.

“Do not make me repeat myself,” YN warns, swiping a paper towel over the wet spot on her shirt from the leak.

-

Harry had just started washing up Cash who was still melancholy when his blubbering older one comes in - still tearful.

He sighs, looking at his syrupy son, “Wha’ happened?”

Easton looks hesitant, “I put syrup on Ezzie and mama said no outside time today.”

His father is tight-lipped, he can already predict that Easton’s actions upset Ezra, “Alright, c’mon. Let’s clean y’up too. Y’know better, Easton.”

-

Harry had just finished helping both boys dress when YN appears in the doorway with Ezra who has a binkie popped in his mouth.

She steps over and hands their son to Harry before muttering, “I’m going to feed Briar, keep the boys out of the room. I need some peace.”

YN disappears from the room before he can even reply to her.

-

Harry can admit he gets distracted when one of his coaches calls him up for a game change, doesn’t notice when Cash sneaks from the playroom.

It’s less than five minutes later when YN leads Cash gently by the hand back into the playroom, with Briar still latched and feeding.

When she sees Harry on his phone, she’s fucking livid with him.

“Really Harry?” His wife scoffs, guiding Cash to join Easton in where he’s playing with legos.

“I’ll call you back,” Harry replies to his coach before hanging up, “Sorry, it was Donny-“

“Good to know your job is more important than watching your kids,” She spits out before storming back out of the room.

Harry is up and following behind her, jaw clenched and irritated, “Just ‘cause you’re in a pissy mood doesn’t mean that y’say shit like that.”

She turns on her heel, eyes fiery, “You have no god damn consideration. You’ve been swamped this week because of your nike promotion and games. I’ve had the babies all by myself for four nights while you get to gallivant around!”

Harry goes to speak but she puts her free hand up.

“I ask for you to keep our house clean and to let me have one moment of peace with our daughter but you don’t even let me have that! You do not understand how hard it is to push a baby out of you and then have them rely on you to feed them twenty times a day!”

His anger fades when his wife starts sobbing - chest shuddering sobs, “I just had her four weeks ago. I-I haven’t had a break yet. You act like it’s so easy!”

He starts to walk towards her, “Sweetheart-“

YN shakes her head, a desperate plea in her tone, “Please just give me time with Briar.”

Harry swallows harshly and nods - feeling like shit as his wife walks back towards the stairs - all the while still feeding their daughter.

-

“Hello?”

“Mum, I-can you take the boys for the night?” Harry asks quietly, standing in the kitchen while the two older boys are still playing quietly.

Ezra’s passed out, on Harry’s hip with his little face smushed against the cap of his shoulder with parted lips.

“Dear, is everything okay?” She replies cautiously.

“No, I-I don’t know. YN is overwhelmed and I don’t think I’ve been supportive enough,” Harry feels himself begin to sniffle.

Anne doesn’t pry for information which Harry loves about her, she agrees to take them, and states she’ll be over within the hour.

Harry goes about packing their pajamas and other necessities in their little backpacks as the squeal excitedly about going to Nana’s.

“Can we say bye to mama?” Easton asks anxiously as they clear out of their bedrooms.

“Let me go ask,” He murmurs, running a hand through his son’s curls.

When he cracks open the door, YN is sprawled out on her back, fast asleep with Briar also asleep in the bassinet next to the bed.

His heart aches because her shirt is off, and the remnants of her nipple cream which was a pinkish orange color wasn’t fully rubbed in on her bruised breasts.

Harry guides them downstairs, promising that their mama will call them later.

-

After the boys leave, Harry doesn’t know what to do so he cleans whatever he finds that is dirty or messy so she won’t have to.

He does all the laundry in the house, cleans up every single toy, and when Briar starts to whimper - he sneaks in to snatch her up so she doesn’t wake YN.

Then he takes her out to the shops with him to grab groceries, her favorite snacks, and maybe he does stop by a jewelry store and buy her something nice.

(casually a pair of 20k earrings)

YN fell asleep around eighty-thirty in the morning and doesn’t wake up until about nine at night, Harry had put Briar in her nursery about an hour ago.

When she does awake, Harry is sitting in the living room - watching a stupid action movie to pass time and dwell on everything.

She comes in quietly, stands in front of her husband who looks up at her with anxious eyes - she looks brighter now that she’s had adequate sleep.

“Will you hold me?” She rasps quietly, just in one of Harry’s shirts and soft pair of sleep shorts.

“Never haven t’ask, mama,” He murmurs, guiding her until she’s straddling his lap and burying her face into the crook of his neck.

His hands sneak beneath her shirt to massage the sleep-warm skin as he kisses her shoulder - over and over again.

“I’m so sorry,” YN whispers into his skin, voice croaky as she tries to not get upset.

He pulls her back to study her face, “Do not apologize, y’allowed to get mad at me and feel frustrated. You’re emotions are valid. There’s a lot going on and I could be doing more to help.”

YN wipes a tear that trickles down as she laughs in disbelief, “No, you can’t do anymore to help.”

“Wha-? I can, I promis-“

She interrupts his with a kiss before telling him sincerely, “You can’t do anymore help because you’re already doing the most amazing job. As a husband and dad. I was just tired and stressed - it’s not an excuse.”

It warms his heart, he fucking loves her so much it does make sense, has to button their lips together one more time.

“You have a really hard job too, on top of being a husband and dad. You give us all this, support us and take care of us.”

“Are y’kidding me? Y’the one who keeps this family together. Y’the fuckin’ love of my life, you know that? I love you so much, so so much,” He emphasizes, rubbing a thumb across her bottom lip.

The kiss one more time - the anger was subsided and they were okay once again.

Harry laughs and agree when YN murmurs, “S’time for bed again, m’tired.”

“Okay mama, anythin’ for you,” He responds before peppering her in kisses to make her giggle lightly.

[blueprint-han]

[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content: 

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.  

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face. 

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags. 

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful. 

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others. 

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers. 

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY.  A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health. 

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused​ and @scriptura-delirus​ . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays​ about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners. 

[voxmortuus]

Herding The Calf

PAIRING: Hannibal Lecter x F!Reader

UNIVERSE: Hannibal (NBC)

WORDS: 1.1k

WARNING: Sorry if this is a little fast-paced and choppy. I feel like my writing is shit today!

SUMMARY/PROMPT: From a lovely Anon: may I ask for a hannibalxreader? id like Hannibal to try to kidnap reader after stalking them for months (as he is interested in the reader and wants to get closer to them, but the only way he thinks he can make the reader care for him is to make them rely on him for all support, therefore he holds them hostage) but the reader is a good fighter and ends up hurting him pretty good, though he eventually knocks them out and the reader is held hostage in his basement and isn't necessarily afraid, just more aggravated because they're bored and want to do something and every time he visits them they ask for stuff to ease their boredom and what have you I want you to take artistic liberty over this as it is pretty much a summary prompt, just have fun if you write this lol have a nice day!

TW: Language | Mentions of Violence | Hostage | Kidnapping | Stockholm Syndrome

IMAGE CREDIT: Google

My Masterlist | Taglist | REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

A mess of monkeys was pounding on a steel door with ball-peen hammers. Neon lights flashed on and off fast enough to send any epileptic into a seizure. Looking around, you let out a slight moan. The last thing you remember was getting ready to leave Hannibal's house before your face met the floor. Rubbing your head, you look around.

"You have got to be fuckin' kidding me?" You mutter. Taking in your surroundings, you see a toilet with a privacy wall, a bed that of which you woke up on, a sink, and a stand-up shower... and that's it. "He just couldn't take the hint." You shake your head. You try screaming, but nothing was coming of it. Chances are, this basement was soundproof. You try to walk around but, there is no luck whatsoever; here is a glass wall separating you from the rest of the basement. "GOD DAMN IT! HANNIBAL! WHAT THE FUCK?!" you yell. Frustrated.

He makes his way downstairs and takes a seat in front of your... cell. He sits down, looking at you, wiping his lip from the blood you had caused, clocking him a good one in the jaw. "You're a good fighter, Y/N, you got me good, may have even fractured a few ribs... but, you lost, I'm afraid. I wish you would have just listened, given it a chance." He stated.

"Well, Hannibal, you screwed the pooch on that one now, didn't ya? Couldn't you just take the hint? I wasn't interested. You stalked me! For MONTHS! Yet you always managed to have a god damn alibi when I tried to get the police involved. You need help Hannibal." You told him. Looking over his face, rather proud of yourself. Though you thought a moment, you wanted your money back on those damn self-defense classes.

Hannibal wanted you to need him, to rely on him. This was the only other option. When you left his care, he was insistent that you needed to stay, but you felt like you didn't need him anymore, you were feeling better, you felt like you had accomplished in your mental strength. That, and he was getting far too involved; hence you started putting more distance.

Looking at him, you rubbed your face shaking your head. "Hannibal, just let me go. I won't get the police involved- just- let me go. Please."

He stands up and looks at you. "I will bring you dinner and something to drink." He walks away.

"DAMN IT!" You bang on the glass, angry, and rightfully so. You begin to pace. There's nothing to do, nothing to read, he took your phone. You sigh; sitting on the bed, you put your head in your hands and close your eyes, trying to figure out ways to get out of this.

Day in and day out, you pace, growing bored, growing more frustrated, growing more aggravated and agitated. Looking at the wall, your back facing the glass wall, you sigh. Hannibal comes downstairs and takes a seat in front of the window wall.

"Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Annoyed, bored, agitated, fuckin Christ Hannibal, a book, art supplies, something. I can't just sit here, pace and sleep. I need substance in my life, and you're not providing that." You state, facing away from him.

"I can give you books. What else?"

"To be let go."

"I will bring you some books. We will discuss some art supplies later."

You've gone through all six books he had brought down to you, Gone With the Wind, Pride and the Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Little Women, and Wuthering Heights. Sighing you had lost track of time, your sleep schedule was likely off, and your eating habits were off, you were losing weight, at least you showered, and he had given you a razor, knowing that you wouldn't harm yourself, so at least you could keep up on your shaving. He gave you clean clothes every day. To some, this wasn't so bad, but to you, it was starting to wear on you.

One night Hannibal had decided to sit in the dark you had no idea he was there. You had gone to sleep. Tossing and turning, cold sweats, you start dreaming.

You're stuck in a cage, hanging above a crowd of people, but there's something wrong with these people; they're sick, ill, bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears. They're trying to get to you, trying to claw at you, not eat you, but they want to kill you. You see Hannibal in the distance, and you start screaming for him. Your voice goes horse. You begin to panic a little more; you're thrashing about in bed. You shoot up and gasp for breath. "HANNIBAL!" you scream.

Standing up, he walks over to the wall looking at you. "Are you okay Y/N?"

"I had the worst dream. People were trying to claw at me, trying to kill me. They were bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears... I was in a cage, hanging above them, they started to climb the cage, and you were in the distance. I tried calling for you, but I woke up. It was horrifying." You wrap your arms around your knees and look up at him. "Hannibal, please, let me go. Please." You start to cry.

Tilting his head, he looks at you and shakes his head. "I'm afraid I cannot do that." He turns and leaves.

After a few days, he has brought you some high-quality art supplies, canvas, paints, brushes. You had gotten back in touch with your artistic side, and it was honestly a nice feeling. He would come down and watch you, observe you, and you had grown to like his company. Each day you two would talk a little longer, get to know each other a little better. You two would even have art time together and eat dinners together. He kept you in this glass box, and as time went on, you had grown accustomed to it. He had even given you a cat to keep you company. Things were changing in you.

Over time, you had liked the idea of being with him; it was this feeling of calm over you when you saw him. It was like everything was going to be okay. Fleeing wasn't a thought, not so much anymore- at least. He sits there and looks at you. "Good afternoon, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Hannibal, I would like to see the outside. Would you accompany me?"

He smiles and looks over your face. Tilting his head, he looks deep into your eyes and unlocks the door, takes your hand, and brings you out back. The sun hits your face you smile. Looking up at him, you smile again. "What a lovely day." you smile. And your wheels start turning surveying the area, but there was this tiny bit that stopped you; if you ran, and he caught you, your next capture, you could be the next meal.

[masterthespianduchovny]

The Poor Development of the Marauder's Era

I've recently been listening to Binge Mode and, even now, I honestly believe the Marauder's era is some of Rowling’s worst writing of the series. When I say Marauder's Era, I'm simply referring to characters and events pre Harry.

The Marauder's era isn't poorly developed because I didn't like what happened. It's poorly developed because of how Rowling handled the characters, the events she put them in, and the reaction to said events.

As a kid, I respected Lily and thought she could do no wrong. As an adult, I find her decisions questionable. For transparency purposes, I read these books in real time and was a similar age as the characters. So, I don't want to hear anything about me being "unfair." Of all of the Mauraders era kids back then, I was the most generous to Lily. It's only when I reflected more about her role in the series that I realized how lackluster she is as a character and as a friend.

Rowling relies on Lily being seen as the moral compass to signify who and what is right or wrong during this era. The problem with this is that Rowling undermines Lily in the process. Minus being flat out called Mudblood by Snape, she has no proof that Snape has done anything her friends accused him of doing, but she unequivocally views it as the truth. Despite Lily listening to Snape, it's not really in good faith because she already has her mind made up about Snape's guilt.

Now, this is important to note because since Lily hasn't seen any of Snape's alleged bad behavior for herself, why would she definitively accuse him of these things? Lily claims she was in denial about this when she ended their friendship, but it's quite obvious she does believe Snape is guilty.

What makes Lily's beliefs and choosing to side with others over Snape is that none of the Marauders have ever mentioned ONE instant of Snape doing or saying some fucked up shit. As a reminder: THEY HATED HIM. They never mentioned anything about him bullying others, calling muggles mud blood, or any other troubling behavior. It was merely because he existed. They couldn't even tie him to being a Death Eater.

Also, let's consider the fact that kids like Snape have rumors made up about them all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME. Not even Snape's own bullies could attest to Snape doing the things Lily's friends claimed Snape did, yet Lily believed their words?

And, maybe I'm being nitpicky, but the fact that Lily says "my friends" in reference to defending Snape has always rubbed me the wrong way. Snape IS her friend too. Her best friend, in fact. Why wouldn't she have said, "my OTHER friends." My Gryffindor mates or whatever? IMO, that implies that Snape is just some weirdo she talks to and not the person she's known the longest.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS:

Have Lily overhear Snape calling one of his peers Mudblood. Have the Marauders be incensed that Snape called someone a mud blood. Have them call out Lily when she tries to intervene on them confronting (confronting NOT bullying) Snape. Hell, even have Snape fucking bully someone.

Because as far as canon goes, Snape was a bystander as death eater wannabes bullied people and presumably did nothing about it. We don't see any of his alleged wrongdoings and the people who hate him can't even recall that this happened.

There shouldn't be an ambiguity or readers relying on the word and opinion of Lily to guide their opinion.

Some may say, "she's only a kid." To this I say, "You're right." Lily was a teen and teens don't always know how to handle complex situations, I will give her the benefit of the doubt. However, this means we shouldn't hold her as the moral standard.

Lily essentially says that the difference between the Marauder's bullying people and the death eater wannabes doing it is dark magic. I'm sorry, but that's weak sauce. Dark magic is such a vague and broad thing depending on what you're talking about, so nah...Also, is there something not dark about James choking Snape with soap? I mean, that could've traumatized Snape to the extent of him being triggered by soap. Isn't that dark?

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THAT.

Jut have Lily acknowledge that behaviors by the Marauders and death eater wannabes are both bad, but for different reasons. Problem solved. She can even emphasize that she takes so much issue with Dark Magic due to why it's being used and what it ties into.

We hear how great Lily is and that everyone loves her, yet Harry meets literally NOT ONE FRIEND of Lily's. He meets James' friends and a former teacher of hers. We don't see Lily hanging out with anyone else. We hear examples of Lily feeling sad for people, but no references to her actually helping people or supporting others somehow.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THAT.

Maybe instead of Lily talking about the bad thing Avery and Mulciber did, she could've intervened, even if it was too late, and "saved" Mary. Hell, we could've had Lily hex James rather than just threatening it. I'm sorry, after literally reading the many ways the Golden Trio are there for each other even before big shit started to happen, Lily threatening to hex someone who is actively bullying her friend doesn't cut it.

And give her her own friends for Harry to meet.

Lily is said to be smart and empathic, but how she deals with Snape and his issues don't exactly support this.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED IT.

Have Lily genuinely listen to Snape's grievances about the night he was saved. Don't have her be so dismissive about the Lupin thing. Maybe have Snape set up by the Marauders and the big reveal is a flop.

I know Rowling wanted to tackle people having shady pasts and how they can change, but 1. Either she needed to commit to it being a rivalry or 2. She needed to appropriately deal with the bullshit the Marauder's did. Snape is justifiably angry and distrusting of the Marauders due to one almost killing him as a joke and the other publicly humiliating him. This doesn't even account for YEARS of bullying, which remus admitted happened.

We cannot say that bullying is wrong, and then excuse the bullies because they were on the right side of a war.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS.

She should've had Remus flat out acknowledge they were wrong for what they did and that there was no excusing it. Then, have Sirius and Remus privately talk about this where Sirius admits it too. OR, despite loving them and his dad, Harry realizes how flawed they were and that their reasoning is simply to protect their dad not necessarily because James grew up. OR Rowling could've not written James and Sirius behaving as psychopaths AS WELL AS show instances of Snape starting shit with them.

SHOW US Snape deliberately starting shit with the Marauders and James trying to apologize. Show us James' growth outside of that. Don't tell us that James is secretly hexing Snape behind Lily's back because it has her looking like a dumb ass.

Also, all of this James stuff is important because Lily ending up with James is such a bad fucking look. IMO, it makes her disgust at his behavior seem performative. It says that she didn't really care about him bullying others, but rather, the perception of her being with someone who bullied others. And, no, having Lily smile as Snape was actively being bullied, and then poverty shaming him isn't a good look.

"BUT, BUT SNAPE CALLED HER A RACIST SLUR!!!"

It doesn't matter how much you want to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, if you believe he's calling others racist slurs, you need to confront it. And, if you believe it to be true, you need to end it. You don't wait until he calls you the slur to say, "hey, maybe he really is this racist person people claim he is."

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS.

After James saved Snape's life, this is where he could've matured and his big head lessened. He still hexes others, but leaves Snape alone because he realized that they went to far with him even before Sirius' "prank." Instead of James being the antagonizer, it should've been Sirius. Once again, James breaks this up and he and Sirius gets into a small argument. Snape is let down as Lily runs up and Snape says his mud blood remark.

Snape then tries to hex Sirius and James steps in once Snape refuses to stop. It gets out of hand and Snape accidentally harms Lily.

I won't lie, I'm a HUGE Snape fan. However, because of how Rowling handled this era, there are many ambiguous things, situations that don't make any sense, not enough development of characters, etc which undermines the story she tried to tell.

Yes, I do love the series, except I don't like any of the Marauders or Lily. I don't hate Lily, but she grates. Remus really was a coward and irresponsible as hell. Sirius was childish as fuck and, no, him being in prison doesn't excuse or justify all of his behavior. James saved his peer's life, and then publicly humiliated and sexually assaulted him. He didn't stop bullying, he just stopped how he did it.

This doesn't mean I believe that Snape was faultless, but I believe this era was so poorly told that by default, I believe and sympathize with Snape.

Although I believe Rowling wanted readers to do this, I don't think she planned for some readers such as myself to hold the positions we do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Snape as is, but I do believe Rowling didn't intend for me to hold the views I do about Lily and the Marauders.

I don't understand her laziness during this era, especially since it's so key in Snape, Lily, and James' stories.

Lastly, she could've developed James and Lily better.

I know she only has so much time, space, pages blah blah blah. However, the best writers find a way to make it work with what they have.

[honeybunnybeez]

If you are still doing the alphabet thing can I please get a c!quackity? It's okay if not, dont worry!

SFW alphabet:

C!Quackity

♡Reader is Gender Neutral!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Lord we know this man is quite the flirt in some way. He's pretty affectionate with you in front of others and almost has little shame with it.

In public, he likes to hold hands or put his arms around your shoulder or waist, depending on how tall you are compared to him.

In private he's pretty playful, calling out your name out of nowhere only to tackle with you a hug and kiss you. He totally keeps you on your toes when at home.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He's a very teasing best friend, constantly joking around with you. Also the best friend people think you're dating before you actually date because of how affectionate he is with you.

You two probably became friends during the presedential election and remained friends since you decided to oppose Schlatt with him and Tubbo.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

My man likes to properly cuddle with you whenever you two have some quiet time alone. His favourite way to cuddle you is by laying on top of you while you stroke his hair or wings.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I would think that he would, most likely after being satisfied with whatever he plans on doing in the server.

Oh my god but he would be so bad at doing chores with you. Washing dishes? Yeah- that's gonna be a 1 hour ordeal as you two have a water fight. Cooking? Food fight. Sweeping around the house? Broom fight- you two keep telling yourself you won't do it again but you do-

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

(Me, having a minor flashback to when he told Eret he didn't like him at all) OKAY- So, depends heavily on the situation. It could either go smooth or just break both your hearts.

If it was just the relationship not feeling natural, he would break it off to you the nicest way he can and would still really wanna be friends with you. He can't cause chaos without his buddy after all.

Oh but if it was because of something bad either one of you did, he would definitely say things he doesn't mean. Things that would break both your hearts. Yeah, it would take a while to ever mend your relationship if that was the outcome.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He has like 2 freaking fiances and 1 (or 2?) ex(es?). (Karlnapity sfw alphabet soon? Maybe-) He's down to get engaged with you for sure.

Okay but he seems to like getting engaged really quickly too- So you'll have to tell him straight up that you need to see where this goes with him. Maybe give like a time period of 6 months or more to see if you two could really live being each others for the rest of you lives.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Emotionally, he is a little rough. He forgets his limits at times and will sometimes say hurtful things to you by accident in the heat of the moment. He'll apologize profusely though when he catches his mistake and sees the way your eyes stare at him with such hurt. He tells you he doesn't mean it and he truly doesn't, he'll feel guilty until you forgive him.

Physically, he is pretty gentle save for his few tackle hugs and kisses. He just loves you a lot and sometimes can't contain it well.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs if it's you giving them. He needs to get a hug from you everyday and if he doesn't he gets super whiny and will even whine in his 'auto tune' voice until he gets them. He likes to hug you from behind, and sometimes his wings cover the both of you as he asks you, "Guess who this iiis!"

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

The first time he ever genuinely said I love you was when you had to help him clean his wings after a bad fall of his. He had never let anyone close to them before and so him thinking he could trust you not to hurt him was something that made him realize that he truly did love you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He's not a very jealous person, being a very affectionate and handsy person himself, but if you and him don't hang out with one another as often as you used to he starts to whine for your attention until he gets it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are very hyper and almost silly.

He likes to kiss your whole face, planting them in quick succession everywhere to make you laugh.

He likes when you give him long kisses on the lips. Especially if it's during a calm moment. It makes his heart flutter.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh he can definitely hang with kids and in return kids love him and his chaotic childish nature too, but he doesn't plan on having any of his own, at least not early on in your relationship. He'll have to think about that for a while.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are the only time you can find him calm, you usually wake up earlier than he does and he always looks so peaceful while he lays on your chest with his wings laid out like a second blanket.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are filled with mindless chatter between the two of you. Rarely do you guys ever remember what nonsense you two were on about before bedtime. All you remembered is shared goodnight kisses and cuddles.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Oh, after all the stuff he's been through he doesn't trust anyone easily anymore. It will take him quite a while to fully open up to you about all the negative things he feels or thinks about. Just take things slow with him and don't push him to say what he doesn't want to, that already wins you his favour.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Okay this seems like a wild card not gonna lie. I feel like if it involves his plan to gain power in the server and you're against the idea he has he gets very frustrated. You'll have to be quick and tell him that you say that because you're concerned about him and his safety.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Besides dates, his memory is a little hard for me to describe. He remembers a good amount of things about you but things you mention in passing are forgotten until you bring it up or until he sees something that suddenly reminds you of it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It was when you properly sat down with him and preened his wings one day when he was way too tired to do it himself. The feelings of your fingers through his wings were like absolute heaven and he forgot how good it felt to have someone do it for you. Safe to say, he got pretty addicted to you doing it to him after this event.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Although he may seem outgoing and like he doesn't care much, he is rather protective of you, making sure you don't accidentally communicate with anyone he isn't fond of.

He would protect you by warning you of others, telling you who is safe to turn to and who isn't safe to turn to. He even tells those he can somewhat rely on to make sure you're protected when he's away. If worse comes to worse he'll protect you physically as well.

He needs you to protect him mentally and emotionally. He feels like everyone he trusts eventually betrays him and he can't have that with you. He needs reassurance that you won't leave him like the others would or do.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He would put in a bit of effort to make it special but not a whole lot, he wants it to be fun but natural too. Though you can always gurantee that he'll serenade you during your dates or anniversaries, the music he plays for you is silly sure but they're also super heartfelt with effort put into it.

In everyday tasks he isn't very helpful, running off to cause chaos more often than not but if you do need help he'll always be there to lend a hand. He often times fetches (or steals) things you need too.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He doesn't know when to quit when it comes to wanting to take over the server. While you know how he truly is, it unsettles you a bit how he's able to manipulate others at times. You totally gave him an earful when he went to fight Technoblade because you knew, as much as you loved your boyfriend, that no one would actually be able to kill Technoblade that easily.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Schlatt made him feel very insecure about himself and even though he knows thay bastard is full of shit and burning in hell, he can't help but feel disgusting at times. Hug him and tell him that he's very handsome and adorable the way he is and that Schlatt shouldn't be talking when he looks like a wine mom on her last line.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would feel so lost without, having no support would make him act even more irrational and could also get him killed pretty quickly. You're his voice of reason to a certain extent.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I've written this before but he likes to make nests out of your pillows, sheets and clothes. The mood strikes him at times and you two will just spend the whole day chilling in his little nest while you preen and baby him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't want someone who leaves him when the situation turns sour, he doesn't want a partner who would leave him behind easily. Most importantly though and as unhealthy as this is, he most likely doesn't want a partner who wishes to have more power than him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He sleep talks and mumbles and that's fine and all but he sometimes he accidentally switches to his 'auto tune' voice and it scares the shit out of you if it's in deep or demonic mode.

A/N: Oh my lord I finally managed to post a c!quackity related thing-! Thank you so much anons for your patience and I hope you all enjoy this! I'm so sorry if this isn't very fluffy but I wanted to mix in a little canon compliance in it too for future angst projects. He was a really interesting character for me to re-study again!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

[arpiii]

The BAU High School Teacher AU

Let’s start with teaching positions:

“Mr. Hotch” - English, History

“Mr. Rossi” - Film, Psychology

“Emily” - French, Arabic, Gym coach

“Morgan” - Woodwork, Weight room & Gym Coach

“Dr. Reid” - Math, Science, Music theory

"JJ” - Spanish, Art

“Garcia” - Drama, Computer Science/Tech classes

“Principal Strauss” - no one likes her

“Gideon” - School counselor

“Officer Elle” - School security

Now about the staff:

Mr. Hotch is the strict teacher. No late work, he doesn’t curve grades, and can tell if you bullshit your tardy. But he’s still supportive towards the students that need it and helps any way he can. He barely smiles and is never absent from class. The only jokes he cracks are really cheesy dad jokes that make the class cringe and groan and snicker because he says them so seriously. If a student is having trouble in the class but it’s because of their parents, Hotch makes sure to meet with them and lecture the parents and defend his student as much as he can. But all his students know, one day each year, he plans a prank on Mr. Rossi, his rival. This is what the class looks forward to every year. A couple times he brings his son Jack to class and the class loves him. They’re also surprised to see Hotch smiling all day and going soft when he talks to Jack. When he has something important to teach he lets Jack hang out with Garcia.

Mr. Rossi is the strict, yet chill teacher. He disciplines his kids and gives them extra credit when they deserve it. He likes to joke with the class and brag about him being a best selling author, the class roll their eyes but enjoy it. He’s also extremely sarcastic and has dry and slightly dark humor. He throws a pizza party at the end of each quarter/term and every time he goes over to Hotch’s class to offer some. Hotch always declines but Rossi leaves it on the desk anyway. The only time Hotch breaks his no emotion streak is when Rossi visits and teases him. The class is told at the beginning of the year that it’s a feud but they all know they secretly have a thing for each other and are too stubborn to admit it.

Emily is the laid back Gym teacher. She and Morgan are constantly one-upping each other and they brag to each other who’s picked up the most girls at bars to entertain the class. She’s the only teacher that know’s how to piss off Morgan and her class loves that. She also teaches French and Arabic. JJ, the Spanish teacher, visits her class and her students notice every time that JJ is the only teacher Emily is sweet with, but JJ doesn’t seem to notice. 

Morgan is the cocky gym teacher and weight-room coach, and also teaches woodwork. He’s super chill but strict when he needs to be, and is constantly motivating kids. If a kid is in trouble or scared, Morgan makes sure to resolve the problem or defend the kid with his whole chest. He likes to compete against Emily’s class in sport games during class. But most of his free time he visits Dr. Reid. His main purpose is to embarrass Reid with innuendoes and flirting, which he’s always successful at. Reid’s class enjoys the shit out of it. Emily is annoyed at both of them and is the only teacher that calls Morgan Reid’s “boyfriend” just to mess with both of them. When Morgan can’t visit Reid’s class he sends Emily as a messenger who rolls her eyes every time.

Dr. Reid is that really smart teacher. He teaches up to the advanced math and science classes and also music theory. Reid tells the class to let him know if he’s talking too fast or rambling so he can slow down. He cares about all his students and although the students are annoyed with all the work they get, they enjoy having Reid as their teacher. They love the fact that he loves Dr. Who and give him Dr. Who and nerd themed gifts on his birthday. When the class is doing individual work Reid puts on classical music. The students also teach him about pop culture things like Tik Tok dances and iconic vines. Reid isn’t very social but they see his personality come out when Morgan visits. His face goes red every time Morgan drops an innuendo and threatens Morgan to leave the class. Some ways he’s done that is by throwing a white board eraser at him, threatening to splash a beaker of acid on him, and holding his guitar as a weapon. They know he’s not serious though because Reid fails to hide his smile. Garcia visits the class a lot and she’s like the mom of the class, she sometimes brings treats and likes to chat with the students. Every time she visits, she ad Reid are quietly gossiping in the corner, and although the class can’t hear them, they can tell it’s about Morgan (especially the one time they caught Reid blush during a conversation).

JJ is the Spanish and Art teacher. She is extremely sweet and checks in with her class constantly if they’re doing ok or if they need help. No one is scared to ask questions because she always answers them without making the student feel bad. Her students notice Emily visits a lot, and they can tell they have a thing for each other. Whenever they ask JJ about it, she neither confirms nor denies it so a huge conspiracy starts. She also teaches art and Garcia likes to visit a lot. The two gossip about all the other teachers, JJ fills Garcia in about Emily and Garcia fills JJ about Reid and Morgan. Sometimes, when Reid is out, JJ substitutes his music class. She likes to fool with Morgan when that happens.

Garcia is the mom of the school. Everyone loves her. She teaches drama and comp sci so she is loved by the gays and the nerds. She’s always enthusiastic and supportive and treats her kids. She’s very colorful and gives her kids candy or stickers if they get a question right or do something really cool in their assignment. When she visits Reid, if Morgan shows up she guards the door and keeps him out of the class. Morgan tries to charm her but she charms him back and doesn’t break. Once in a while she fails to keep him out and the class goes nuts watching the show. She’s also called a lot by Hotch because he needs help with technology constantly. Rossi needs help too once in a while but he just relies on his students or eventually figures it out. 

Principal Strauss is only seen in the halls once in a while. She monitors classes twice a year and all the students AND the teachers behave their best that day. Even Hotch seems relieved when she leaves the class. She makes announcements at the most inconvenient times. She is also the only one who enforces the dress code on students. Once in a while she asks what Morgan’s doing in Reid’s class and Morgan tries to cover it up and the class backs him up. Rossi’s class finds it hilarious when she’s talking to the class and he’s mocking her from behind, rolling his eyes and making faces. The students clearly know the teachers don’t like Strauss as they constantly complain about her. She calls Garcia’s games and prizes “distractions” and thinks JJ gets off track too much because she checks in with her class to much. The students that hate her the most though are Reid’s students, because she’s the hardest on him for no reason. They can tell by his behavior and can tell he’s drained every time she leaves the class. They tell Morgan and Morgan decides to start a yoga club for students and teachers to destress once a week. He personally invites Reid and that’s the only time the students see Morgan doesn’t mess with Reid. Garcia also offers free hugs to any student who needs one during the school day. 

Gideon is everyones favorite staff member. Everyone loves him. His door to the counselor’s office is always open and he always knows what to say to students that have trouble. He’s just very relaxing to talk to. Everyone respects him and even all of the teachers get along with him. He checks in with classes once in a while just to see how everyone’s doing, and sometimes sits in lessons to learn with the students. Sometimes he participates in group assignments. He’s also the only one who stands up to Strauss. He never get’s mad, he’s always calm and manages to talk sense into her. Because of this, she’s never mad at him. When she is, he doesn’t take it personally. He doesn’t go to the yoga classes, but makes sure student’s know about them. He starts the chess club and during the whole year it’s a competition between Gideon’s team and Reid’s team. The students keep track of the bracket thats displayed in the cafeteria and take sides, creating a large yet fun divide in the school. The students ask all the teacher’s who’s side they’re on each year and create flyers to root for each team. It’s also partially a fund raiser for the school to have extracurricular activities. The teachers give extra credit to any of their students who’s rooting for the same team they are if that team wins. Gideon also attends all of the sports games and musical performances.

Officer Elle is school security and most of the students are nice to her. She makes sure to break shit up if a fight breaks out and firmly advises kids to not drink or do drugs. She has PSA assemblies twice a year about security and health. She’s chill and likes to chat with students. She’s basically a badass and makes sure to put kids in their place who deserve it. She also teases Morgan because they have a history in working in security together.

Assemblies:

There are four assemblies every semester. Three out the eight for the entire year, Strauss forces Reid to present. She’s totally unaware that he has the worst anxiety out of all of them (and if he told her she probably couldn’t have cared less and given bullshit excuses). The students eventually catch on that Reid din’t ask to present based off his shaking hands and wavering voice. They also see the looks the other teachers are giving Strauss, who is unaware. Reid bears through it though and Morgan comforts him afterwards as Strauss is giving the closing statement. The student’s support Reid as he’s talking and try to make him feel better. Morgan makes jokes at him to distract him and the class plays along with it. Two of the other assemblies are given by Elle, two others are given by Strauss, and one is given by Gideon. However there’s one unofficial assembly held every year by the students (teachers are invited except for Strauss). At the end of the year the students compile a video of pictures or videos of funny or iconic moments of things that happened to the students or teachers throughout the school year. This usually includes crackhead moments during free time in classes, a kid secretly recording Hotch as he’s trying to tell a dad joke, Morgan flirting with Reid in front of the whole class, Reid’s students dancing in a Tik Tok with Reid (followed by someone recording them creating the Tik Tok), the hype for the end of year chess tournament, the massive pranks pulled by the teachers and students on April Fools Day, everyone’s costumes during Halloween, and so much more. One student brings a popcorn machine. Garcia brings candy.

Specific events:

Morgan crashes Reid’s class multiple times a week. The students look forward to it, because all Morgan does is flirt. He’d spit out innuendos that are somehow related to what he’s teaching. It’s the worst in music class. 

“You’re doing well with that fingering” “I’M PLAYING THE GUITAR”

“Hey Dr. Reid, how’s the blowing going?” Reid’s face burns red

“You really stroke the G well-” “GET OUT”

“For a drummer you don’t bang very well” *dodges drumstick*

One time Reid threw a white board eraser at him only to receive “damn you trying to rub me out?” which causes the class to roar.

The class goes crazy every time and someone is bound to be recording every time Morgan steps into the classroom. Morgan would also call Reid “pretty boy” on occasion and ruffle his hair, which Reid would fix right after. (Everyone knows he secretly loves it).

One day Reid gets his hair cut short with curls on top, but Morgan doesn’t find out till the next day. He also wore his glasses that day (which he does wear occasionally). The class started to silently freak as they filed in before the bell rang. When Morgan entered mid class his greeting of “Hey pretty boy” was cut short when he saw him. Morgan stood frozen for a good 30 seconds before Reid approached him (WAY too close) and says lowly “What we’re you saying?” Theres no response from Morgan, the class is trying to stay silent while going ape shit, everyones phones are out, it looks like their noses are about to touch when finally Reid steps away and asks the class “So, who can tell me the answer to number 6?” and just leaves Morgan there. The class tries to recover and when five minutes pass Reid looks back at Morgan (who hasn’t moved) and asks, “Hey Morgan, don’t you have a class to teach?” Finally Morgan snaps out of it and stutters “Uh.. yeah- I gotta... go,,” and leaves the classroom.

~ 

Spirit week is a riot.

It starts with Tropical day. Everyone dressed in a hawaiian shirt and wore a fake lei, even Hotch. Garcia gives out lei’s to everyone that doesn’t have one and Rossi gives extra credit to whoever dresses up that week.

Next is 50′s/Grease themed. Morgan went all out with his outfit, leather jacket and sunglasses included. Reid did not own a leather jacket, but he did grease his hair back and wore a white t-shirt which entertained his students. Hotch, along with his outfit, brought a comb and constantly combed through his hair throughout class. Garcia and JJ wore poodle skirts and JJ wore her hair in a high ponytail. Emily wore black leather pants, a polkadot shirt, and a red bandana in her hair with bright red lipstick.  Rossi just wore his helmet from the Vietnam war, and when someone called him out, his excuse was the war started in the 50′s so it counts.

Next was Lazy Wednesday, and the students (and Morgan) didn’t know how much Reid in a hoodie could affect them. It got to the point where one of the students had to call out to Morgan “You’re drooling” which followed by laughter from the class. Emily wore her snuggie and JJ and Garcia wore matching Pokemon onesies. Half of the students were distracted because Hotch was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Thursday was Disney themed. Morgan was, of course, Prince Charming. Every time he entered a classroom he overacted dramatically. Garcia decided to match by being his Cinderella and had her hand kissed by Morgan every time they passed each other. Rossi’s students had a field day with his costume. He dressed up as the toy seller from Toy Story 2. He got Woody and Jessie toys from Hotch’s son, Jack, and he was constantly eating cheese puffs. Hotch melted everyones hearts by dressing as Kristoff and bringing in Jack who was dressed as Sven. Every girl and gay almost had a heart attack from Reid, who was dressed as Milo from Atlantis. But the winners in the students book were Emily, who dressed up as Flynn Rider, and JJ, who dressed up as Rapunzel. They hung out in the halls in between classes, Emily winking at everyone who walked by.

~

With the good days come the bad. One year, Reid started getting these horrible migraines. He wouldn’t tell anyone, however, and kept teaching. Even Morgan asked a couple times if he was okay. This lasted almost two weeks, and then Reid had to lead an assembly that Friday. The migraines on top of his rising panic attack while he spoke to the students made him feel worse. He started to stutter and feel lightheaded, but Strauss said nothing. Morgan managed to hold on to him and finally told Garcia to take him into the hall. Thankfully Hotch stepped in and continued the assembly like he was presenting the whole time. After it was over, Morgan chewed out Strauss to the point where Emily had to hold him back. The students were confused as to what happened and theories started to spread as school let out. Morgan went straight to Reid who was sitting in a dark empty classroom with Garcia. Reid finally told him about his migraines and Morgan insisted taking him to the ER. The speculations grew when students saw Morgan leading Reid to his car with their arms around each other for support as they walked, Morgan comforting him on the way to the car.

~

One day, Reid had a doctors appointment for the latter half of the day, so he asked JJ to sub his music theory class. Only, Morgan didn’t know. There was a small hall that led into the big music room, so when Morgan entered, he couldn’t see JJ from where he was. He thought he was sneaking up on Reid, putting his finger to his mouth at the students who saw him sneaking. Finally he walked out to greet who he thought was Reid with “Is that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” He froze when he saw JJ staring back with her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. He saw the class was recording him and shook his head while saying “I will get you back for this.” As he walked out defeated, JJ called after him, “I’m guessing he didn’t tell you about his doctor’s appointment.” which earned a middle finger from Morgan which JJ couldn’t see from where she was standing. This definitely ended up in the end of year slideshow and it was the first time Reid saw the video. He counted that as a victory.

[vrishchikawrites]

About YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids Post-WWX Arrival

Dear Dee, feel free to delete or ignore this or post it, whatever floats your boat. This just stuck in my head after those posts and I had to blurt it all to someone. Thanks for taking the time to read my word vomit.

So I had to do this instead of an ask because it got long and I wasn't sure how many asks it'd need or how short I could cut it down without losing parts of the argument. And then other things came up as I was writing and, well.  Well..... >_>;;;; 

But you know, after that post/ask you had about YZY fics saying 'Fuck U' to YMJ/JFM & leaving both with her kids, I had a sarcastic 'yeah right' attitude about it. Mainly due to a lot of negation emotions to such an abusive (and delusional) bitch, partly due to how she wouldn't do that since it doesn't seem to be something her sort of character would consider either because she'd think of it as 'losing' (losing what, IDK, it's why I consider her type of person crazy) or she legit wouldn't think about such a viable action.

But then later, in the shower, I seriously went 'Wait, she can't fucking do that' and it wouldn't be about how MXTX uses her as a part of the narrative but entirely about the/their culture in the novel; the actions that have and would be taken in response; and her entire toxic personality as well.

1) We already know that the sects and the cultivation world in general is sexist, elitist and so Capital T 'Traditional' to the point that it's starting to petrify and any deviancy from this is an exception rather than the norm. YZY might be a madame of a great sect (for what that's worth considering how shit of a madame she's been and the titles she's chosen for herself) but she's still a woman even with her high rank and the things she's personally accomplished.

Even if she was in her rights to leave a 'bad' marriage, she'd be the one who'd get scolded more instead of JFM by her natal family, her former husband's family and by their entire society at large even if she had a few singular supporters. Because That's Not How Things Are Done in their society and I do believe that such a thing was rare even when it was accepted method by the upper echelons. Especially since it would have to be done by more than YZY simply deciding that She Wants Out and just- goes and Gets Out. With no serious allegations that would allow her to divorce or separate from YMJ/JFM without the input from her family, JFM's family and, I think, possibly some measure of compensation as well. And no, having or bringing in a 'bastard child' is not a serious enough offence for such a humongous decision. I think something more along the lines of treason or crimes against multiple, high-ranking parties would be more along the lines. Maybe.

And even if she does this, she'd be considered 'Used Goods' (such a terrible comment) and there'd be no other good/proper marriage prospects for a divorced woman with children let alone a woman like YZY with her entire abrasive personality and attitude put off even easy-going JFM.

(If she'd been widowed then it'd be more forgiven but I consider that a Real Bad End since, IMO, it would lead to the sudden and inevitable decline of YMJ either via mass exodus of disciples and/or residents of LP; being merged with another sect due to it's unstable leadership; or create an internal political war 'cause I bet you anything that the YMJ Elders/relatives (if they have any) Would Not Want YZY in charge of YMJ when she's already proven herself such a shit betrothed let alone madame.)

2) Speaking of families, while YMJ/JFM/LP as a whole might be glad to see YZY's back, I don't think her natal sect, MSY, will be glad to see her come storming back after all the effort they put into getting that particular marriage alliance with YMJ. And if she brings her children with her? Oh man, oh boy- mother or not, that could be considered as kidnapping or line theft (is that a thing?) especially if YZY is also seriously considering divorce proceedings and raising them as Yu and not Jiang. That could give leave to, for anyone more unforgiving and maybe JFM if he's pushed enough, disown both JYL and JWY from the Jiangs through no fault of their own (though I'm sure YZY would make it so as well as blame JFM for her own decisions and mistakes).

Therefore, any inheritance or benefits they might gain for being legitimised children of a great sect are forfeited. JYL will likely lose that betrothal with JZX because JGS will drop it like a hot potato and JWY won't be a sect heir because YZY literally decided to remove that by deciding to raise JWY as a Yu, no matter their blood relation to JFM. They leave him, they leave YMJ and everything attached with it. Which is if YMJ/JFM doesn't demand MSY to give back their heir/ess and to punish YZY for her actions. Or send all three of them back for the appropriate reactions/decisions.

Their society would demand no less in reaction because, to them, it would seem like YZY had gone mad and JFM would look weak (or weaker) and imply that YMJ is vulnerable and exploitable if JFM doesn't do something in response to her actions. That's not even getting into what the other smaller sects may try to do in an attempt to curry favour with YMJ or what LLJ or QSW would try in order to destroy or diminish YMJ. And whether JFM chooses to demand his children back or not, it may not change the fact that this may give him reason enough to choose a nephew or niece to be the new sect heir especially if, even after getting rid of YZY's poisonous influence, JWY grows up to be his mother's child more than his father's or even his own person.

Either way, such a thing would bring great backlash on YZY, and MSY as well as the collateral. No one would want to give face to her or her children because it would bring up some very uncomfortable questions and scenarios to the other sects- specifically, what would happen if the female members of their clans/sets decided to follow the footsteps of YZY and leave with their children and heirs. Especially if they use it as an excuse to leave for their own comfort and whims and not some legitimate wrongs and dangers. That would create some more restrictions on women thanks to YZY

3) And lastly, if any one of those idiot YZY stans think that she'd ever give up the status of being a madame of a great sect they'd be as crazy or crazier than her. YZY is all about status and power and face. Specifically, her status, power and face and how people in her reach reflect her or 'insult' her. She is a selfish, terrible, abusive and toxic person and can only see people in regards to how they would benefit her and the elevation of her and in no other way. Especially her family. They cannot be their own person, they can only be an extension of her and gods forbid they go against her.

We can see this in how she treats the people she supposedly loves. JFM? Arguments day in, day out along with accusations and slander of cheating, having one(1) supposed 'bastard' and being 'in love' with CSSR. Which all seems sus as hell. And that's when she's actually there and not out 'night hunting'. Even her 'training' seems to border on unhelpful rather then helpful if my vague recollections of juniors fainting from exhaustion can be relied upon (please call me out if they're not or find proof).

JYL? Berated by not being 'strong' but not helped at all to be 'strong'. It doesn't help that YZY seems to believe in the same standards strength in their society- that is, of martial masculine strength which does not and should not apply to JYL who has been said to be sickly. Which means h should have been learning a different way of cultivation/fighting anyway.  If that was something she wanted and had been offered in the first place- which I doubt. That isn't even getting into her repeated generational trauma mess of a betrothal which was decided only by those 'sworn sisters', accepted by her as a way out of her terrible home life and puts her squarely within reach of JGS who we know to be a womaniser, rapist, predator and a possible ephebophile considering we don't know the exact age of his youngest 'conquest' or the age of MZY's mother when they met which could be anywhere from 14 to 21.

JWY? Gods, so much meta on him and his(non-) relationships with his parents that I don't think I can contribute more to it. It's been all said and done. Unless people want me to stir the pot by saying that, maybe, just maybe, YZY resents JWY as much as she 'loves' him.Either because he's her son and yet never manages to 'accomplish as much' as WWX or because he's a boy and therefore, more benefits and allowances than a girl/woman- more than anything that YZY ever got without either a fight or screaming at someone about. *shrug*

So, in conclusion to this sudden an unexpected essay that I wrote(I'm so sorry about that, I thought it would be shorter -.-;;;;), YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids? Impossible. Not without some sort of personality transplant or a complete AU. She's too prideful, too bitter, too angry, too everything negative and little positive. She's a resentful product of the values and restraints of her society taken to the extreme negative with a willingness to inflict her pain on others to an abusive degree. But she's also too obsessed and reliant on those same values and restraints to keep up the image of her status. So her? Giving those up? You'd be more likely to see WRH as a doting grandfather than that.

---

Dee - All of this is true and yes YZY leaving YMJ is highly unlikely. While there will be consequences if she decides to leave, she does canonically lives separately from her husband. They seem to be in a situation where they are married but living separately, which was a common way to end a marriage (at least in spirit) back then. She essentially had all the perks of being Madam Jiang but fulfilled none of the responsibilities.

Afaik, her training the Jiang disciples is a donghua thing? I may be wrong but I recall she spent most of her time nighthunting.

As for taking her children along with her- that's completely impossible. At that point, children were the property of the father. She could leave but she would've never been allowed to take JC.

[callabang]

Fic Rec: Recovery

assorted definitions of healing

All my ribbons and my medals and my trophies | Anonymous

Jeff leans in and rests their foreheads together. “It’s really gonna be fine. You’re a great player.”

Mike wants to snort, wants to yell at him because for the past fifteen days, that’s all Jeff’s been saying. Mike wants to ask him if he needs glasses. “Yeah,” He just says, around the lump in his throat.

notes: this one is tough & painful but the climax is one hundred percent worth it! mike and jeff’s relationship is beautifully written and the rock-solidness of it in the end of so powerful

Faster (series) | lightgetsin

"Okay," he says, "You know how when you're on a breakaway, and you've got a couple D-men on you? Like, right behind you. You can't see them, but you can feel them right there coming for you?" Jamie nods. "The only thing to do is to be faster than them." Tyler says. "You can't turn and look, you can't slow down. You've just . . . you've just got to skate harder. It's like that."

notes: a somewhat unorthodox but very poignant and real depiction of coping with past trauma, in a way that feels like an pitch-perfect characterization choice.

dig a hole, fill it up | inlovewithnight

Going up to the NHL was supposed to be a new start. Everything would be different there.

It wasn't quite that simple, but Aaron had help to figure it out. 

notes: really lovely and moving look at aftermath and healing. i love the dynamics between aaron and willie and megan, especially in relation to the age difference and the guidance and support they provide

I Will Weather the Storm | escherzo

“Stress fracture.” Boone sighs, scrubbing a hand through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “Could be three months. Five, at worst.”

“Shit,” Ryan says. “No surgery though?”

“Nope. They don’t think so anyway. Got lucky there, eh?” Boone’s smile turns rueful. “As long as we don’t go stir-crazy being stuck here together all winter, I might be alright yet.”

notes: i read this fic for the first time on a friend’s recommendation and didn’t know who the characters were, but i will still blown away by the atmosphere and palpable feelings of care that suffuse this story

You're Still Picking Me Up | loochskywalker

Mitch is 26 when he retires from the NHL. His brain a jumbled mess of pieces that won't fit together no matter how many doctors try to make them. He was supposed to be great. He was supposed to be a legend.

Instead he goes to Vermont. Instead, he goes to see Matt Martin.

notes: a story of healing and acceptance all-around. i love the setting in this fic and the fact that both mitch and matt are healing in their own ways 

came around for a one night thing (and i never left) | whitchbhitch

Carter's thumb pauses on what should be just a fairly standard picture of some abs and a chest, a neck and head turned to the side, the picture cut out to just show his jawline. The guy looks good, built, like his muscle isn't just for show, thick in the waist and no defined abs, even though it's obvious he's very strong. That's all fine, but it doesn't explain what caught Carter's eye. The profile name is just one letter, J, and all the bio says is "here come dat boi !" It's the meme that does it.

(Or, Carter grows, heals, and gets his man.)

notes: this is part of a larger series but i think you can read this on its own! the depth of emotion in this one is especially good juxtaposed with the very hot sex scenes, and it deals with grief in a very real and active way

They Say Love Heals All Wounds | Deastar

“Geno? Are you okay? Physically,” Sid asks, which is good, because Zhenya doesn’t think he can put into words how he’s feeling emotionally. He imagines saying, The person I’ve loved for ten years finally took me to bed last night, but it turns out he didn’t want to, and now I can read his mind. No, thank you. “Feel fine,” Zhenya answers. “Even head feel fine.” And suddenly he realizes how fucking odd that is: he was concussed, and the room is brightly lit – he should be hiding under a blanket right now. He narrows his eyes and asks, “Sid, why head feel fine? What happen to concussion?” Sid takes a halting step closer to the bed and says, “Our bond, it’s—it’s a healing bond.” “Holy mother of God,” Zhenya breathes. So. They’re definitely not breaking the bond, then.

notes: i haven’t read this one in some time but it’s such a classic, both in terms of sid/geno and in terms of hrpf in general. a really unique premise feat. sid and geno actively working and healing together

so collect your scars and wear them well | addandsubtract

It’s been two months when Connor gets on a plane and flies to Arizona. He tells his parents, and they don’t like it at all, but he goes anyway. He has a cane, a strict PT schedule, and an ounce of pot cleverly hidden in his luggage. It’ll be warmer there. It’s January in Toronto, and he aches all the time.

notes: an incredible fic about relying on others and being kind to yourself

This Time Next Year | Oplopanax

Tyson Barrie, one of the very rare Omegas born only into ultra observant religious communities, finds himself pregnant after the death of his husband Gabriel Landeskog and to survive in 1870s Denver, must marry Nathan MacKinnon.

notes: i’ve rec’d this before, which makes sense because it’s so so good. an incredibly expansive fic about how people work through and make the best of some really tough situations 

puttin' on my shades (to cover up my eyes) | electrumqueen

The kid - McLeod - sways against Taylor's shoulder. “I want to go home,” he says.

“What you want is a glass of water and two Advil,” Taylor says. “Trust me on this, kid.”

“Okay,” the kid says. He hiccups.

notes: this fic was my inspiration for a recovery rec list! really painful and poignant, deals with a whole mess of complicated emotions amongst a whole mess of people. the relationships (romantic and platonic, past and present) in this are incredible 

[ortizobsessed]

Daydreaming

Hey everyone! This is officially my first story for EZ! It took me a while because I wanted to make sure I was doing him justice!

One thing to note is that I didn’t include any Spanish because I don’t speak it, and I’m not comfortable enough yet to include it and have it feel natural. This is something I plan on working towards in the future!

Reader x EZ where you confess your feelings for him and he kisses you for the first time.

Warnings: A couple swears.

Word Count: 1403

Masterlist

Ezekiel Reyes. The words you could use to describe him were endless. Kind, passionate, strong, determined, cheeky, handsome, certain, dependable; the list goes on and on.

He’s the one person you knew you could rely on.

“You know-“ Ez said, setting two plates down, each with a slice of chocolate cake, on Felipe’s kitchen table, “I’ll always remember the time you saved my skin when we were 8 years old. Angel was pissed cause someone ate the last piece of his birthday cake. We all knew it was me, but you took the fall for me. You were the new girl who had just moved in down the street, so Angel went easy on you. Man- he would have kicked the shit out of me.” You both laughed. “I immediately knew I could trust you, and I’ve never second-guessed that since.”

You gave him a warm smile as he slid his hand across the table and grabbed a hold of yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. The room around you started to fade away as you thought back to everything you and EZ had been through, everything that lead you to this moment.

You couldn’t even remember what life was like before you met EZ. From the day you two met, you were inseparable. You did everything together, from homework, to cheering each other on at sporting events.

Truth be told, once he started seeing Emily, things felt different between you; from your point of view anyway. You had never been able to admit it to yourself, but that crush you’d had on him when you were kids had grown into something much more by the time you hit high-school, and it continued long after that. You did everything you could to push those feelings down and support the two of them. If he was happy, you were happy...right?

When things took a turn for the worse, Marisol passing away, prison, and Emily leaving him, you were there through it all. You visited him as often as they would allow, always making sure he knew that this didn’t change your opinion of him. You knew the entire story, what happened, why he did it, all of it, and you didn’t blame him.

You felt guilty for even thinking it, but you knew prison had changed him and brought you two closer together. EZ, although you were best friends, always found it hard to open up about what was really going on in his life, and what he was thinking and feeling. But the very first time you visited him, it was like all the cracks in the dam he’d built finally gave way. From that day forward, he told you every thought that crossed his mind. Everything from what book he’d started reading that week, to how he had forgotten what real vegetables tasted like, to how he daydreamed about what he’d be doing at that moment on any given day if he was back at Stanford.

When he was finally released, you were the one waiting to pick him up. Wrapping you in his strong arms, he stroked your hair and kissed the top of your head. Even straight out of prison he still smelled amazing. You couldn’t help but wonder what things would have been like between you if he’d never met her. But that was a long time ago now, and nothing you did could change that, all you could do was move forward.

You knocked on the door to his trailer one night, having driven half an hour to get there, and showing up without warning. Answering the door somewhat confused, EZ was happy to see that it was you, and graciously let you inside.

Sitting across from each other at the small fold-out table, you told EZ how restless you’d been feeling lately. You were now in your late 20s and life didn’t seem to be going anywhere. You’d also decided on the way there that now was the time to be brave and finally tell him how you felt.

It was such a relief, finally saying it out loud. “I love you, Ezekiel.”

He smirked, “I love you too, Y/N.”

He said it so non-chalant that you felt maybe he hadn’t quite grasped exactly what you meant. You’d told each other you loved one another before, but never like this.

“No- EZ- I-“ You found it hard to say it a second time. After all, it had taken nearly 15 years, and the entire half hour drive here to talk yourself up enough to even say it once.

Most days you could read him like an open book, but other times it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. This was one of the other times. He didn’t say a word, he simply stood up and reached his arms out to you.

Placing your hands in his, he helped you stand up and pulled you into his chest. Wrapping his arms around you tight, he held you for what felt like an eternity. You still weren’t sure what this meant, but you weren’t going to be the first to pull away; you always felt at home in his arms.

He finally loosened his hold on you, and you looked up into his eyes. In typical Hollywood movie fashion, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, placed his hand lovingly on the side of your face, and only broke eye contact to look down at your lips. Leaning forward agonizingly slow, you felt your heart start pounding out of your chest as his lips gently pressed against yours.

You felt your entire body sigh, as you leaned into it. This was it, the moment you’d dreamt of since you were a teenager. No amount of imagining what it might be like could have prepared you for this. You’d kissed guys before, but none of them could ever hold a candle to this. Your entire body, from your head right down to your toes, felt like an electrical current was coursing through it.

Your arms, still wrapped around his waist, pulled him closer. You deepened the kiss, never wanting it to end. EZ’s hand had migrated to your hair, tugging ever so gently, as his tongue slipped past your lips. The passion was undeniable, and the butterflies came alive in your stomach once more as you thought that, maybe, he’d been waiting for this moment, too.

Pulling away from you slightly, EZ pecked you on the lips once more. As your eyes fluttered open, you were breathing heavily and EZ was smiling at you.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

You were suddenly pulled back to reality, sitting at the table in Felipe’s kitchen, eating chocolate cake across from EZ. He had squeezed your hand once more when you didn’t answer his question about whether you wanted a glass of milk to go along with the cake.

“Where did you go just then? You spaced out for a bit,” he asked playfully.

Laughing lightly, you looked up at him and admitted, “I was thinking about our first kiss.”

That beautiful smile of his spread from ear to ear. “Is that so?”

You nodded sheepishly. It had only been a few weeks since that night, so you’d really only been dating for a short period of time.

“I don’t think I ever told you this, but- the reason I never did anything about this-“ he said, motioning back and forth between you two, “was because I always thought you had a thing for Angel.”

His words made you choke on the bite of cake you just took. You began coughing like crazy, and EZ stood up immediately, “I guess you do need that glass of milk after all!”

Once your coughing had stopped and you’d downed the entire glass of milk in one go, you just looked at EZ in disbelief. “You thought- you thought I had a thing for Angel?!”

Just then, who else but Angel walked into the room.

“Who has a thing for Angel?”

You could almost hear EZ rolling his eyes, “would you please stop talking about yourself in the third person?”

Giving you a wink, he replied with, “Angel doesn’t know what you’re talking about,” causing you to laugh out loud, and EZ to sigh heavily.

“Don’t encourage him!” EZ stated, jokingly throwing a napkin at you.

This was happiness. This was home.

[jangpoo]

I’ve been meaning to post on here in forever but like I just have had so much going on. But I’m starting to get into Daiya and anime again, so I want to talk about it.

It’s glaring to me that some people haven’t actually watched or played baseball before. And if they have, maybe there isn’t a great understanding of the nuances. And this isn’t me gate keeping or saying I’m better than anyone, but simply an observation based on what people say. But anyway I just want to talk about it.

Terajima does an EXTREMELY excellent job of portraying the sport. The issue I find with baseball is that it’s really fucking boring at times. There are so many times you watch a game and think, nothing is happening (and this can be true of any sport but I especially see it with baseball). However, I believe that many times, if you actually understand the sport or have experienced it before, you find a lot of the nuances come off the panel even better in this story.

I have seen so many people, especially on Reddit and Twitter talk about how this current game is going to be another “come from behind win” and “a cookie cutter version of what terajima always does.” My issue with this is how people are not talking about why this arc is by far the best representation of what baseball looks like and feels like at times and why people consider pitching duels to be the most exciting display of the sport. Sawamura has had this game coming for the past 10 years. All of this build up was for this moment.

From a writing standpoint and story standpoint, I understand it’s fucking FRUSTRATING to see how many times Sawamura has come into a game and done poorly or been given a handicap. Even his first game as an ace was so incredibly frustrating to read. You want him to win. You want him to succeed. Especially after seeing everything he has gone through. I’m tired of watching him come into a game, doing spectacularly but wondering, what would he have been like if he didn’t have the yips. Or what if he could actually hit? Or what if he was given the same opportunities as other players? There has been so much disappointment. So people wanted him to become the ace and suddenly have this outstanding game where he is dominant and amazing and just having an out of body experience. But the truth is, you don’t just get that. You don’t just start a game as an ace and have it go your way. And I hate that shit so much. But it’s the nuances. It’s the small things that makes Daiya so special and realistic.

The reason this whole arc has been so incredible is because we see an accumulation of EVERYONE buying into ace-Jun. First, before this game even begins, we see Miyuki FURIOUS that he couldn’t get Sawamura relaxed enough for the game. He’s angry that Sawamura feels strained enough to put the team on his back and overpitch. And he couldn’t get him out of it. He couldn’t help him the way he is supposed to as a catcher. We see Kuramochi understand that when Miyuki is gone, HE needs to step up. He needs to be the one that coach can rely on to help the team grow and thrive. He wants to be trusted to the team completely. And in this game, we FINALLY see the team get angry and frustrated at not backing Sawamura up. I mean, despite how they act, they never outwardly do that. They believe in him. They’re impressed with him time after time. But they never really back him up the same way we saw them do with Tanba and Furuya. It’s always like he provides some miracle, hypes up the team, but then is the butt of the jokes again. They quietly support him and work with him outside of games. But for the first time in this game, we get them buying in. We get them trusting him and working for him. Getting frustrated for him. And I believe Kanemaru’s “anticlimactic” at bat is the absolute most obvious display of that.

Some people call it anticlimactic but they just don’t get the point. I need us to think back to the very beginning of the story. Kanemaru absolutely could not stand Sawamura. He always said that all he did was talk and had nothing to show for it. But slowly and surely, Sawamura showed Kanemaru that he was dependable. He could be amazing. And little by little Kanemaru showed him more respect. Helped him with bullpen sessions. Helped him study. Cheered him on. He even, at one point, would become so distressed for Sawamura he’d make an error and feel terrible for it. Yet each time, Sawamura proved to him, it’s okay. I’m going to work my ass off. my hard work, your hard work, it won’t be for nothing. It will mean something. And so, in this moment, Sawamura is pulling this team by himself. That’s all he can do. The other pitcher is JUST as amazing. He’s just as talented and hard working. He can do what Sawamura does. And so the team fails time and time again. And like, let’s not pretend we’re the most frustrated in that situation. The team is livid. They can hit here and there but can’t connect. Can’t string together hits to score (which is how most pitchers duels go and is super realistic). And at the peak of this, when the captain cannot hit, Kanemaru comes up to bat with vengeance. He comes up to hit the shit out of the ball, no hesitation in his mind. He wants to kill it. But the part that borderline makes me want to sob, is that it’s not for himself. He wants to do it for Seido and he wants to do it for Sawamura. He wants him to know “I have your fucking back. I am going to hit the shit out of the ball. I’m going to score a run for our ace so it can put less pressure on him.” And that’s the mindset you want as a player. That’s what a good team does. And despite hitting a ground ball and getting out, it’s that effort. It’s the will of running as hard as you can down the line. Because yeah he got out, but who fucking noticed? Sawamura. He saw how hard he tried. He saw how hard he ran down the line. So yes, he didn’t score a run, but he did everything he could. And sometimes that’s good enough. Sometimes that’s what a pitcher really wants to see. So ofc Sawamura says “That hyped me up.” It was not failure. The feelings, the will and that connection came through. And Kanemaru understands immediately and says then let’s fucking go, let’s go out there stop them and hit again. It’s such a small moment and seemingly there to keep the score tied in the story, but the meaning there is absolutely what matters. Because yes, Sawamura is the only one in that moment that can turn the disappointment around, but what it also means is that Sawamura still believes. He tells wolf-boi, “I’m not worried. I believe in the hitters. We won’t go down without a fight” and he’s right. Because he can still believe the team hasn’t quit. Because someone like that, who wanted nothing to do with him at one point in time is working incredibly hard for him.

And it isn’t just there. We see it with Nori. He’s injured and we know how hard he’s worked to be starting games. We’ve seen his hardships and now he’s injured. But he believes. He trusts Sawamura. The team trusts Sawamura. They’re frustrated for him. They’re frustrated on his behalf. He’s bought in. And that is the beauty of a pitchers duel.

To be honest I’m flashy. I like high scoring games. But a show of true competition is always present in a pitchers duel. It’s 2 guys going head to head and the one that breaks first loses. It’s exciting and stressful. And I believe that many people are feeling that in this arc. And that’s why so many people are pissed, thinking this is just another show of the same shit. When Seido get past this, they’re going to Mei. It’s gonna be the same shit. We have progressed past a point where inconsistencies no longer are acceptable. You have to be on or you lose. The other team is just as good as you. And despite how well we want Sawamura to do, we also have to accept that he won’t always be unhittable. He will revert back to bad habits at times. But the Sawamura we’re getting this game? Absolute fucking monster level shit. (And our lord and savior Chris senpai is there to watch)

There are so many amazing moments that show how well Terajima understands baseball and truly loves it. From kids purposely throwing their futures away to finish out the season despite injuries, to having kids having long crises where they have to be demoted to lower strings to get out of the funk and the loneliness that goes with it, to kids fighting about the team and prioritizing winning over friendship. The frustration of the yips, losing games you were supposed to win, feeling like it’s your last chance to win before you graduate and never play again, having to move on with life. It’s all so well done and that’s why I’ll always love this manga. I love Haikyuus story other sports mangas and characterizations but Daiya will always hit different for me.

But anyway, that’s my dumbass ramblings that probably don’t translate well into written form. If you made it this far, why? Lol

[lovelypersona]

I love your fics!....Please could you do a small fic/ with a pregnant s/o with Goro ,Ryuji and Akira ? Like how each of them would treat their s/o when their s/o is pregnant.

A/N: laughs . Reader is GN!

Goro and Pregnant!S/O

Like father like son. Deadbeat dad. Disappears after a week once he said he was gonna get milk from the store

I’m only mildly joking

No, goro would not abandon you or his baby. But he would be the most scared out of the three to receive the news

Please don’t get pregnant until many many years after the main plot where Goro has had the chance to receive therapy

Goro would need a lot of time to get used to the idea of him being a father in the near-future. So, no, he wouldn’t disappear and leave you, but the first few months where you can still do most things on your own and you don’t need to rely on him as much- he’s sort of flighty. Wouldn’t be unusual for him to take off during the weekend, but he’d at least tell you where he’s going and text you when he’s coming back

Just needs a lot of coping and alone time. And then eventually he’ll kick himself in the balls or ask someone to kick him in the balls since he can’t really do it himself

And then he’ll step up and be there for you.

Once he’s ready, he’ll be studying a lot. Reading all the pregnancy books he can and looking at things like the diet you should have and the amount of exercise you should be doing each day and week

If you really want to be a parent with him, and you want to do all of this with him, be prepared for him to be stern and unrelenting. He’s already 80% sure the baby will be mentally fucked up thanks to him so he at least wants the baby to be 100% physically healthy to prepare for that

Of course he can’t actually control the outcome of the birth and how the baby will be. But he likes to think he can

A very protective dad as well. When you’re in labor he definitely doesn’t like the amount of pain you’re in and he’s kind of like “WHY ARE THEY SCREAMING SO MUCH”

Goro you are also screaming. Calm down

But also seeing you in so much pain and all the blood and just all of it during your labor is very uncomfortable for him. He might have to leave the room a few times to catch his breath, but then he’ll come back in and back to your side, holding your hand just as hard as you’re holding his.

I’d talk more on this topic but I have to write for the others so I’m done now

Akira and Pregnant!S/O

When he finds out you’re pregnant, it’s definitely a shocker, but he doesn’t really express it visibly. Kinda just goes still, eventually says “oh. Alright. What do you need?”

Not even sure if he wants to be a dad and if he’s ready, but he’s willing to help you if you need him!

Bad. Smack him. Bad response

Like Akechi, but not at all to a similar extent, he’ll need time to process the information and mull it over. Not because he’s afraid, but because Akira has to assess what he wants

Akira is a people pleaser, a man with many masks. He’s lost sight of himself more than once because at times he’s not even sure who he really is

His wobbling grasp on his own self makes him uncomfortable and doubtful about his ability to be a parent. He’s not sure if he’s the best parental figure for a child

Despite that, though, he loves you, and he wants to help you. He’ll help you throughout the entire pregnancy and either move in with you/have you move in with him.

Your relationship is a bit strained because of the fact that Akira has no idea what he wants, but the two of you make it work and decide not to talk about it for now and just focus on the task at hand. The pregnancy

It’s during the pregnancy that Akira loosens up and slowly gets more comfortable. As your belly grows and the baby starts kicking, it kind of makes him realize twice-over that you really are carrying a kid that’s half-you and half-him

Huh. Funny how that works

Falls asleep with his head on your belly a lot. Hearing the baby is kind of soothing to him

He also tries to participate in your routines and diets as much as he can. But when you’re not looking or he’s out of the house, he’ll drink as much coffee as he possibly can. It’s the one thing he’s lied to you about. He told you he quit coffee for you but it was a lie a bold face LIE

Once the baby is born, that’s the last straw. After being through the terrifying event that is your labor, and hearing the baby cry for the first time, he’s like “oh. That’s my kid. That’s my kid”

Protective dad instincts all of the sudden and doesn’t like the doctors holding his kid at all

He’ll be a fine parent. Akira just doubts himself a lot, but being with you, you’ll help him and you’ll raise your child together.

Proposes to you like 6 months after your baby is born

Ryuji and Pregnant!S/O

You both absolutely got pregnant during your last year of high school wdym lol

Irresponsible SHIT of course he becomes a dad at the ripe age of 19

You tell him about your pregnancy right away, and when you do, he’s definitely in shock as much as you are

Freaks out a lot and yells very loudly and has a meltdown because he’s not at all ready to be a dad and you’re right there with him

Both of you seriously consider giving the baby up or something like that. But eventually you’ll agree to raising the child together

Probably puts a halt on Ryuji’s running career, but that’s fine. You and his new family is much more important to him than his love for athletics

Eventually he’ll get back into it, because you promised him that he would. You also want to see him thrive and you know that track is his passion. But for now, focus on the baby

Because of his knowledge of athletics, though, you’ve officially scored yourself a supportive trainer during your pregnancy! You WILL be walking at least a mile every day. At Least

Ryuji isn’t as fucked up as Akira and Akechi okay lmao he’s very sweet and loving

He also tries to get a handle on his yelling and swearing while you’re pregnant because he doesn’t want to have those habits once the baby is born

His mother is also very supportive and willing to have you live in her house once you become bigger and the baby is born

Ryuji will also start working more seriously to save up money so the two of you can live at your own place eventually, too

Just a lot of part-time jobs, but it’s better than nothing

Also never allows alcohol in the house and says once the baby is born, you can drink if you want, but just don’t do it in the house with the baby around for the sake of his comfort

Not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just a comfort thing.

He also immediately told all of the thieves that he’s going to be a dad and he was immediately bombarded with shouting and questioning- especially from makoto- but BESIDES the initial reaction, he has all the support in the world from his friends and you guys get a lot of baby clothes and essentials from them. Mainly haru, bc she’s loaded and she loves you and Ryuji very much

Akira is officially the Uncle and Ann is the Aunt. No further questions

[everything-laito]

damn the brain be out here going BRRRRRR here’s the Laito and Cordelia Analysis (with a little bit of Karl sprinkled in) Part III

wow my fingers are freezing but my brain sure isn't! 

aaaanyways, iiiiiit’s trauma time!!! Am I a productive member of society by writing these analyses? No. Do I gain anything by writing them? Kinda, my brain gets exercised and they’re fun to research for. But if you haven’t read the first part or the second part for some reason (I recommend reading them in order), there they are. 

Once again, trigger warnings still apply; mainly about trauma, isolation, etc 

I’m gonna talk about the trauma and effects it had on Laito and to attempt to extrapolate why he is the way he is. I have a lot of examples I want to go over and stuff to talk about, so I think the trauma part is going to be split between two (or maybe three) parts. I also have a little bit to say about Karlheinz.

As always, big ass rant under the cut! 

Section 6: Neuroplasticity and Trauma

Oh???? More science vernacular??? You BET! Ok, neuroplasticity. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog. But, I seriously doubt that there is a madlad who has read all of my analyses (speaking of which, I should update the master list lmao) and I don’t expect anyone to do that LOL! Anyways, this neurological concept is the ability of neurons to adapt to certain circumstances or stimuli by creating new neurological pathways (through synapses). This basically relates to memory and learning. It’s why we don’t stay the same person as we grow and develop. It’s responsible from mindset changes to response to traumatic events. It plays a huge part in trauma, which is why “repressed memories” occur as well. 

Trauma, taken from Psychology Today, is defined as: 

...the experience of severe psychological distress following any terrible or life-threatening event. Sufferers may develop emotional disturbances such as extreme anxiety, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD.

It’s a basic definition. And although I’d assume people would know what trauma is already, but knowing the lexical definition of something can be good to know before going into it. 

Obviously, Laito has trauma, there’s literally no refuting that. But, the point I’m getting at, is the reason why he is the way he is today is because of neuroplasticity. As previously stated, we are going to assume the DL vampire brain works similarly or the same as a human brain. So, because of the stress put upon the brain (Cordelia’s actions and Laito’s general upbringing in a stress filled household), Laito’s brain was rewired (neuroplasticity). This section doesn’t really have much new information, but I wanted to give a baseline since there’s many people who don’t know what neuroplasticity is.

Laito’s definitely different than what he was as a kid. He still kind of had his smarts, and might have been  but as we’ve deducted from the first part of this series, he might have been groomed. On top of that, the brain is easily moldable when you’re a child (which is why grooming makes sense for Laito’s case), and continues to snip brain cells off and form new connections. 

Section 7: Little intermission about Karlheinz 

I know I haven’t really talked about Karlheinz yet. So this will be the section that I do it in. I know this part is about Laito’s trauma, but it’s so hard to not just weave other characters into it. Nothing is stand-alone, which is why it was so hard for me to plan this out. I was debating about saving this for another analysis, but I feel like it fits. 

I referenced this in Part II, Section 5 of this analysis series. Basically, Karlheinz throws Laito into the dungeon and locks him up. Not Karlheinz personally, but he ordered someone to do it. We don’t explicitly know why, but there’s several implications. A huge one is that it was part of Karlheinz’ experiment. Before Dark Fate, I was like “wait, so did Karl find out about Laito/Cordelia? And got like jealous or was like ‘nah this shit fucked up no thanks’?” I was really scratching my head on that. But in Dark Fate, you find that Karlheinz knew about Cordelia and Laito, and even really wanted it to happen. Which is all sorts of fucked up. This really put Laito in for a loop. Here’s a scene from Dark Fate: 

Laito: That woman always, always believed in Karlheinz. Laito: She believed he married her because he loved her, wanted her. That’s why she was sure that one day... he will give his love only to her.  Laito: But she was tricked. She wasn’t loved from the start... Laito: -And I’m a victim of this unbelievable mistake... That’s how it is. Laito: I was treated as a vent for her feelings. Yui: ...Laito-kun... Laito: I’m sure he knew that something like this will happen... He is a god after all... Laito: I was hoping that... He just overlooked it up until now... Laito: But... I was naive.  Laito: I was only planned a scapegoat. 

God, when I played this, that just freaking struck me to my core. That’s so awful. Ironically... Karlheinz probably has some high level of emotional intelligence. I don’t believe he could be labeled as a sociopath, considering he has this high level understanding of pathos. He’s not god in a sense that he controls everyone individually himself. He’s so good at manipulation that he basically creates fate itself (whether you believe in it or not). He’s generally intelligent and cunning, and it also just helps with the fact that he’s immortal and can time travel. He knows cause and effect by now, and I believe Lost Eden said something about how he’s done so many different “timelines.” 

The definition of a god in a philosophical sense can be broken down into three words: omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. More wicked cool jargon! Yay! Here’s what they mean for extra clarification:

Omniscient: All knowing Omnipresent: All seeing Omnipotent: All doing

Sure Karlheinz doesn’t absolutely know everything, nor can see everything, and he definitely has limits to his power, but he has gained knowledge through living for so many years and time traveling; he has familiars which add to the whole “all seeing” part; and he has a lot of power. So basically, in the most semi-”realistic” sense, it would definitely be the closest being to any kind of god.

Karlheinz is probably the reason why Laito himself has such contempt towards religion, and the existence of a god in general. Sure, the boys are like “that shit’s made up by humans” in general, but it would make sense for Laito himself to have that specific hatred. It makes sense that these vampires would be like “oh that’s made up by humans” when they’ve been around forever and have seen multiple religions come and go. (I’m mainly talking about in DL’s lore case, not starting a religious argument; please don’t take it as such––just to clarify)

Section 8: Isolation

Originally, the previous part was going to be about Laito’s isolation being locked up. However, I went off the rails and it turned into that little intermission. This is going to be a shorter section, but I still wanted to talk about, and it will weave into the next section. 

There is no implications about how long Laito was locked up (and tortured) in the dungeon. There’s also no implications about why he was tortured. But torture and isolation puts such stress on the brain that there’s definitely going to be some kind of outcome if persisting for a good period of time. So let’s take a look at what that does to a person. 

Once again, taking this with a grain of salt. I imagine vampires don’t need to rely on social interaction as much as humans do, considering they live forever. But we don’t know. However, throwing Laito into a state of isolation implies that it would be some type of torture or harsh punishment for a vampire, which therefore implies that social interaction is a necessity for emotional function. It’s just sound, inductive logic. 

So now, as for isolation, I’m using this article as reference. It’s a pretty interesting one to read. Here’s another extensive article as well. Basically isolation can cause:

Depression/anxiety

Immune system deficiencies (basically more likely to get physically ill)

Sleep cycle changes (if put underground or with limited natural light)

Hallucinations

Paranoia

Issues with processing information and more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation

We have no clue if Laito’s experience fits all of these. Also, the second one can be crossed out because vampires in DL can’t get physically sick in the way we can. Also, unsure about the sleep cycle stuff considering they are used to being in the dark. Hallucinations and paranoia can’t be crossed off nor proven. 

Being isolated physically and mentally exhausts the mind, which is why it’s also a way of torture. Laito implies that he was tortured with physical devices, but regardless, it’s still stress on the mind. This type of stress definitely goes along with what was mentioned with neuroplasticity and trauma, which also supports the last bullet point: issues processing information and being more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation. Take this flashback from Maniac Prologue in HDB that I used in Part II section 5 (but here’s even more context):

Laito: ーー Let me go!! Let me out of here! Butler: I can’t, young lord. We’ve received strict orders from your father. I am deeply sorry, but please stay put for a while. Laito: What’s the point in having me chained up in here!? Butler: ーーI am very sorry. Laito: Hahahaha…You stupid old man! Do you think that this will make repent!? How foolish! That demon! Has his brain finally rotten from spending too much time with humans!? ー Cordelia appears Cordelia: ー Oh? Laito: …!? Have you come to save me? Cordelia: Oh dear. Ufufu…I’m sorry Laito, that isn’t it. Laito: Eh? Richter: ー Why are you here? Laito: …That’s my line. Cordelia: Okay, okay. No fighting! More importantly, Richter…Come here. Laito: …!? Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all.  ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

Although I also use this to support the whole Stockholm syndrome point, this could also be supported with the trauma isolation also holds. His mind is being re-molded into the facade he holds. Also, note the whole “do you think this will make me repent?!” part. Just a very interesting thing. The word “repent” implies that there’s something to feel guilty about or the person knows that what they’ve done is bad. It just goes to show that Laito has some part of guilt or moral compass still in tact. 

You can also argue that this scene was when Laito just got locked up, or he’s been here for a while. Either way, he could have also been socially isolated before this too, just hanging around Cordelia like it’s implied when he was a child. Remember the whole not being in bed 9/10 times when he was a child? Yeah, controlled social isolation. We also rarely see Laito with other characters in his flashbacks. I don’t believe we see him with his brothers in any of his flashbacks from what I can recall; he’s usually with Cordelia. Just implies (to me) that he’s around her a lot. And being locked up is also a more extreme case of that, which would mold the brain even more. 

I know that was a LOT to process and read. I sure hope this still is cohesive for you all. I’m pretty bad at organizing this kind of stuff; it’s a bit difficult since it all just goes together. Which, kudos on the writers of DL, because that’s just good writing. I was going to put something about gaslighting in this part, but that might be too long, so I’m going to make that a separate part or include it in the next part. 

If you have any questions, feel free to just put it in the inbox. I’m planning on making the last part of this series answering all the Laito/Cordelia questions I’ve received, or just general questions pertaining to this analysis in general, whether it be tangential questions or clarifying questions. 

Hope you all are still enjoying this ride as much as I am!  -Corn

[calypsoff2]

Fourteen. Part 3

Rylee is taking it bad like she is putting her sisters in the mood too, she won’t let Robyn speak or go near her now, but I am dropping Robyn off now at the airport, it’s a silent car journey here anyways. I am sad she is going; I am having to deal with their moods. They are feisty girls, they have their own personality too, but Rylee does have the deciding factor, they watch her closely. Like Tianna was at first sad but she was still hugging Robyn at the frozen yoghurt place but now she didn’t want Robyn to help her in the car, I guess she has Imani left “what are you doing in New York anyways?” I asked, I haven’t really asked, I know she is pitching for me to help with the men’s line but what else “speaking on the men’s line and we are speaking on the launch of Fenty Skin, we are discussing where we should do the shoot” I guess that means she is jetting off again “somewhere nice I guess?” looking over at her “you are right, but I also want you in it so watch yourself” I didn’t know that part “I want you to start using Fenty Skin from now, I will be back with the products that have been made, well should have been” nodding my head “that took a while?” that took so long, this idea was floating around so long, the things were set “yeah that did takes ages, I was going back and forth with the ideas and roll out, this is what I was doing and being so busy at Chris, I don’t just speak on one thing and then every so often my music gets bought up, so it’s like ok? I am doing a collab, so I do need to do that while I am there but yeah, that’s it” busy schedule “nice” is the only thing I can say “you and Jen should be scoping that out for me, but I am doing it, you need to stay home” she is right I do need to stay home.

Robyn’ team is here waiting “Fenty assemble here isn’t it” Robyn side eyed me as I laughed at my own joke, it was funny to me. Getting out of the car, Rich is here “oh and Chris” barely hearing Robyn say, walking around the car to get Robyn’ bag out “speaking on Fenty assemble, I would like to introduce you to your new bodyguard, he will be going back with you in the car. Pat, this is Chris. Chris this is Pat, get along” seeing this big guy in front of me “pat? Is that short for Patrick?” getting my hand out, he shook my hand “how did you know” shaking my head laughing “guessed it brother, so you the new bodyguard huh” Robyn meant it about this bodyguard business, she wasn’t playing at all “yes I am” he stepped back “so there you are, I told you that you will have it. You text him when you need to go anywhere, I am being serious. He goes everywhere with you” Robyn is going to watch me about his, nodding my head “caught this one” Rich said walking over to us with Rylee in his arms “aye, what I say. Stay in the car” Rich placed her down on the ground “you’re big!” Rylee said and ran to me “can we go home now, I am tired from school” looking at Robyn, it’s about time she goes now anyways “yeah we are going” Robyn has a big suitcase to be honest, for three days and she always buys her shit on the go. Jah has her stuff, I am questioning her now, but I won’t day anything to her about it.

Tianna held my hand and Imani is just attached to Robyn’ hip, she ain’t leaving that hip but Robyn is finally putting her down “I am going to be back so soon, ok?” looking down at Rylee, she is not happy and honestly Robyn does so much for Rylee, I know Robyn’ doesn’t like to say she is a favourite but Rylee is “stay here now Imani, it’s dangerous” I said, Robyn shuffled her back a little to me and she looked at Rylee “you going to say bye to your mother now” I said “no” Rylee looked up at me, she meant it “it’s not nice, she is going to be away. No matter how upset you are she isn’t going to be here, and anything can happen” she shook her head “I want to go home” Robyn tried to step to her, to even get a little closer but Rylee stepped back “I don’t want too” this is harsh on Robyn “baby I am sorry, I am so sorry I have to go” Robyn said but it’s not making any change at all, I know Rylee is hurting and I think this is upsetting Robyn a lot more “Rylee please” Rylee moved back again “I want to go” Robyn swallowed hard and looked at me “take care, come back soon” Robyn wrapped her arms around my neck “you got to stop doing this” I said in her ear, she moved back and pecked my lips “I know” she said in a whisper.

I feel a little heartbroken seeing Robyn go actually, like I hate being away from her because anything can happen and if that ever happens I would never be good to anyone, especially my kids. Robyn turned around and waved to us, I smiled lightly. If we didn’t have kids I would be on that jet with her “say bye” looking down at the girls, they are waving but they look so lost. Rylee is hurt and you can tell she is. Robyn disappeared onto the jet “mommy is gone” Imani said “she is Imani” Rylee said, crouching down to the girls “and she will be back soon, it’s ok” letting their hands go “will she though, I really want mom here dad” Rylee said with her lower lip quivering, I knew she would be hurt “and she will be back, just that she has to work” I dragged out “to make others happy but we will be here for her, we will be waiting for her yeah” pressing a kiss to each one of them “what about parent day dad?” Tianna asked, “you got me and momo” Tianna sighed out “it’s so loud here can we go?” nodding my head getting up from my position, this bodyguard is just staring at me. He is new I guess, looking at the jet and can see vaguely a handwave, I think it is. I gasped seeing Rylee just run, she ran off “Rylee!” I spat about to run but Pat grabbed her, she didn’t get far “mommy!” they closed the jet door already, shuffling the girls along with me, these girls are trying to run on this busy runway “thank you god” I am glad he is here now “Rylee” taking her from him “I want mom” Rylee hugged me crying out “hold his hand Imani” we need to go, the jet will be leaving now. Pat just picked up Imani like she was a parcel, it was nothing for him. With my free hand grabbing Tianna’ arm “is Rylee ok dad?” she asked, I just want to go because this is a mess “climb in, come on” Tianna is more shocked at Rylee like she is crying out, Pat is putting Imani in her seat, he is actually not useless “mom is coming” Tianna said “I know she is coming back soon, move up one so Rylee can sit” she is sat there wasting time “but dad” she said, rubbing Rylee’ back “it’s ok, stop being dramatic now. You didn’t want to hug her but want to be like this” she should have hugged her “mommy!” Rylee said, looking at the jet and the door is open again and Robyn is here. Rylee held her arms out to Robyn as Robyn took her from me.

There is so many emotions going on in this place, like deadass there is but I am shocked Robyn came back off the jet. She actually came back to console Rylee which she has, she has settled them all so much that they are quiet in the car. She closed the car door and turned to me “I saw it all and my heart literally dropped, I screamed seeing it. Just seeing her run and you not knowing to run for her and then leave the other two at the same time, my heart dropped. Look at me, I thank god Pat caught her when he did. This will be my last trip; this is too much. I am shaking” she held her hands out “well now you see what I deal with Robyn, but something needs to change, and I think we need to move because it won’t be your last trip. Let’s be real right now, this won’t be the last trip for you and it’s being real. The kids need their mother, they want you. You’re a mother before anything, even being a wife. They come first” Robyn put her head down “I see it, trust me. When I come back we will start discussing” nodding my head, I don’t want to argue with Robyn, she is going away from me so I rather we leave on a good note “I love you” hugging her close “I love you more Chris” we need to make that change quick, it has to happen.

The girls seem to be in a better mood, Rylee is also so whatever was said and done worked “before you go Mel, what happened between you and Robyn?” she never said anything of course “it was vague for the most part, she was saying mostly how much she hates TJ, no good for nothing. And she is shocked I lowered my standard to a lame like him, she thought better of me. I said to her what did you want me to do? We were always in the same vicinity, it was bound to happen. TJ made me laugh, he was good with me so what can I say. She just said that she loves me as a friend and she wants to look after me while pregnant, we made up but there is more to be said because she was busy panicking about Monica” looking down at Imani she is bugging “I want juice dad” letting out an oh “go and get your cup baby, I will” she walked off “Monica is a big part of this house now, she isn’t leaving” I laughed “but I love her, she is so supportive for me and the kids love that, because they are scared” I frowned at Imani “that is a wine glass baby, what the hell?” Mel turned to her “my glass too” she lifted the glass up “that is mommy wine glass now, be careful” taking it from her “mine too” she is being deadass too with this.

Rolling my eyes at the stupid ideas “saw that” Jah said as we both laughed out, I swear meetings to me is funny, all we do is giggle, I blame Jah because he eggs me on most of the time “anyways, I mean I came here for this meeting. I want Savage to always be in people’s mouths, I want people to know we are here to stay so I am deciding to allow Chris to do the men’s line” Jah’ face dropped, so did most of the people in the room “I haven’t met Chris” Jay Brown said, “I am being sarcastic but Chris hasn’t been here, and you want to rely on him for this?” he has a point “he bought this idea to me, I want it to happen. I want to now do a male line, I want him to help, he said he wants too. I mean I will have the last say as I do, that is me. Can we just agree to disagree. I see everyone pulling faces, I get Jen is here always and he is at home. But he is at home to take care of the kids when I am here, when he is here he does his thing” they are judging my husband “this is him being involved, I don’t see it. Unless you put in someone, he is not doing it alone” I sighed out, now Bernard is saying it “I like the idea of the male line, but we need someone that is active, we have meeting over skype, he isn’t there Robyn. You are saving face, like Jay was discussing he has his hands in everything but here, he has a record label now. My concern is him being absent here” well this took a turn “can we just go with the idea, I will have Jah on it, and I will tell Chris he will need to collab” they need to stop this “we can accept that, but you need to check the designs before anything. This is on a bigger scale, not something side street wear” nodding my head.

Jah turned to me and then laughed, swatting his arm “be quiet” I said “now ma’am I ain’t do shit. I just looked at you, don’t you feel like this is at school. The way they all be looking at you, they dislike your husband girl” Jah said “and he hasn’t done shit” he busted out laughing “that is the point sweetie, he just be quiet. I think he still mad they lost some money on that little clothing brand he took back off his little friend and now it’s going nowhere, they are saying it’s bringing the company down you know” shaking my head “yeah about that, I think it’s the clothing brand that is struggling but that isn’t his fault, things happen. His clothing brand doesn’t take a massive hit on the money right?” it’s so stupid “it do though, like I be hearing it with them. Also he jumps into different avenues, he doesn’t stick to just one, so they be like what the hell he be doing, I don’t know girl. But this your company so you do what you need to do, don’t let them just let you backtrack” Jah said as Bernard came back into the room “so this male line” sitting back in my chair “my husband will oversee” Jay Brown stared at me “alongside Jah” I added, Jah looked at me gasping, I mean this will make it easier “well let’s take five, we will continue and speak on Fenty next” thank god, I need a blunt after this meeting.

Tapping on Chris’ name as I blew out the smoke from my lips “pour me some more” I said to Jah, I need a drink too before going back inside “damn you going in” Jah said, Chris finally answered “morning” I know he will be awake “morning” he must have went back to bed after dropping the girls off “tired?” I questioned, he seems like he’s just woke up “I was having a nap, after telling the girls you will be a little later than you said” I cringed “how did they react?” I feel so bad “not shocked, but they went school and you missing parents’ day so congratulations on being the bad parent” shaking my head “thanks” I mouthed to Jah “Chris, I would have rather been there with you! You know this, I rather have been with my kids, what don’t anyone get, y’all just judging me for being away. For doing this but I am doing it for our future, one of us has to work Chris. If this was you Chris, you would be here! You would be doing this, if this was your company you would be away! Shit takes hard work, why am I being penalised by you and my mother, making me feel bad because if this was you, this was you having to be away then you would be away and wouldn’t get penalised, you will get praises for being the man of the house. But because I pop the baby out it makes it worse; I have had enough I want my mother out too, tell her to go home” they all just judging me, I am sick of it “you done ranting? Damn, I ain’t telling your mother shit Robyn. You are feeling like this because you feel bad, so how about it” he angers me “I need to answer this call, it’s the school” Chris said “yeah, yeah bye” disconnecting the call “bad mother thing again?” nodding my head “I am the worst mother of the year, you know. Just because women seem to have this tag where we need to be home, the fuck? If this was Chris he wouldn’t be called a bad parent. I bet you every nigga that is away working isn’t the bad one, let’s move” getting up from the seat, I have been out long enough.

Watching my phone ring for the third time from Chris, dragging my eyes away “are you going to do the collab with PND? He is waiting you know, like we need to do that. Sorry, business aside” Jay Brown laughed “yes, I will. It’s noted, I need to sell my soul next. Like shit, Tina you getting all this?” she just laughed, she has been busy “your diary is busy boss” rolling my eyes “see but erm yeah, I can fit it in. Of course, but music is on the back burner. I need to concentrate on Fenty Skin, we need to shoot that shit too, I am taking the products with me back home, Chris is going to use it. I want to shoot something with Chris in it” my phone is ringing again which stopped me talking “my nigga is calling; I need to pick up. One too many times” grabbing my phone answering it, it’s just too many calls going on “hey” I answered, “I could be dying Robyn, I just thought I would let you know I am in hospital with Imani, she has hurt her arm while in school” my face softened “what!?” I spat “I told you, she hurt her arm. She is just having a scan” hearing Imani in the background “yes I am speaking to mommy” my heart dropped “can you hold her” hearing the doctor say “I will call you back” he disconnected the call and my just feels like someone is squeezing my heart, my daughter is hurt, and I am here away from her.