#when i don't read enough at school | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wanderingmind867 · 2 months ago

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I return to school today, after having been off for the thanksgiving long weekend. And i don't know how to feel about all of this. I'm even half tempted to ask for well wishes or something, because of my current stress. Because as i mentioned before, i feel nervous about leaving school in the future (i don't know how to deal with reading and stuff in the future), so that's stressful. But also going to school is always just a nerve wracking thing. The wait for the bus is nerve wracking and i don't like to go bathroom at school, so i hole up in the bathroom before school. It's stressful sometimes. Also because i've lately struggled with feelings of insecurity regarding not reading enough. Because with this being my last year of high school, it's the last consistent year of reading for me.

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sergle · 5 months ago

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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason

side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.

and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.

#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart #their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money #you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is #The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw #and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is #recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions #to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way #they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc #the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military #you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible #the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it #source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE #I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined #and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK #and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt #I hate yall I really do.

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riverofrainbows · 5 months ago

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I'm arguing with some catholic girl on tiktok (yes i know, first mistake) and she just told me that "going to church on sundays" is literally in the 10 commandments. Baffled actually.

#own post #catholicism #my credentials are life long trauma from catholic school and basic reading comprehension so don't try to tell me that moses and his crew ha #a) churches and b) sundays as their holy/'important to religious activities' day #she also claimed that the thing about not being supposed to take the eucharist when not “”pure enough“” (approximately paraphrasing) is #about going to church on sundays #when i have it on good authority (my catholic grandma) that it's about having gone to confession semi recently #like i feel this person is just obsessed with going to church on sundays #but girly this isn't the medieval times anymore the official doctrine is that being a good person is more important to getting into heaven #than Churchill attendance #obviously church attendance helps but they won't kick you out for being holier than jesus and never going #essentially #she's like really nice and all but she is factually wrong

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givethispromptatry · 11 months ago

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#hey all #just wanted to remind you that this is a fun place to get writing ideas and i am literally just some rando on the internet #this means i am not always right and in fact am very often wrong #a lot of you are very kind and help me out when i get stuff wrong #i try to acknowledge those people and thank them for their help #however #if you choose to be rude or needlessly mean to me or a follower on a post and i see it i will block you #i have no time for negativity here (i get enough of that in my regular life)#shaming others for ignorance when they genuinely don't know something just makes you an enemy rather than a friend #no need to be judgy #this is a hobby blog by a public school teacher in some random city #not an international team of competant individuals #thank you for reading the tag rant! happy writing

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pseudophan · 2 months ago

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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow

#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT #like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck #its been so many years i cant do this anymore #we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp #to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth #because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess #like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE #anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot #so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO #cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment #where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc #public #and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long #so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine #and they wouldnt set the diagnosis #because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult #even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT #which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened #man i hate my fucking life lol

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ilovedthestars · 2 months ago

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i have. too many things to do.

#and of course what i WANT to do is write fanfic and read the ten different books i want to read and make art just for fun #and also be a couch potato and watch youtube videos for a couple hours with no guilt #but i was sick for a week and that's a week's worth of missed classes and homework i'm now trying to catch up on #in addition to new stuff #and i was already falling a bit behind in a couple classes because they don't have enough structure for me #and like. i'm managing. i'm getting stuff done.#but it's exhausting to know that tomorrow when i only have to go to one class i will be spending all day on homework #....i need to not tell myself that. i need to build in space for breaks or i will burn myself out #i do not want to be at risk of burnout in the first month of school with an intentionally very low courseload #this is just. so frustrating and stressful #and i'm coping. but i wish i didn't have to #vent #school stress #stars rambles #i am somewhat grateful that needing something to wind down from homework with has made me excited to write fic for the first time in months #but the downside of that is that i do not have enough time right now

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lala-blahblah · 3 months ago

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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way #but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes #they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love #umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would #have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming #also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually #Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus #lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women #So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet #and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much #we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism #and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm #And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER #that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All #Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded #Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like #wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this #and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like #we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen #and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie #and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals #families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains #iwwv #hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago

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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting #with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though #you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would #think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page #disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol #THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended #(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever #so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with #no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know #EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably #It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end #point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc #I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc #rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is #not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school #but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia #and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like #the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot #or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are #familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them #Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol

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aroaessidhe · 1 year ago

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2023 reads // twitter thread

To Shape A Dragon’s Breath

YA fantasy

a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic

historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes

bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC

#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is really really good i loved it!#the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool #it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that #I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff #t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m #definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that #was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel #on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening?#that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 -#I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like -#a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!)#some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application #the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series!#also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺#anyway. i really loved it!#oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture....#To Shape A Dragon's Breath

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disposal-blueeee · 1 year ago

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doodlesssss

scriabin belongs to zarla-s

edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez

#sunny's art #vargas #vargas zarla #edgar vargas #scriabin vargas #scriabin #i wanted to draw scri with short hair because i love this hair lenght on him #he looks so gooddddd #oh man i'd give ANYTHING to look like this guy #we kinda have the same haircut C:#i used some pinterest bases to see if i could draw anything that i liked #i'm still blocked #like i still have a bunch of ideas but half of them are videos/tiktoks and the rest are way too hard #so i've been drawing a bunch of shitpost lately because it's fun #and easy #maybe when i have enough of them i'll post them here #speaking of tiktok #i have an account to post vargas stuff now. you should definetly check it out #just search @.igtky and it should appear :)#god these guys are so gay #i did these a while ago but #i kinda forgot that i made this account on the first place to actually feel comfortable posting stuff #unlike. twitter #i wanted this account to feel like a safe space (it's not working)#imma vent a bit so if you don't want to read these it's fine #for some reason posting on twitter makes me feel extremely anxious #that's why i post 90% of my stuff on my circle #i'm going back to school like in 10 days :C #it's been two months already and i haven't done ANYTHING #i wasn't expecting to be this depressed i can't believe this

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wanderingmind867 · 2 months ago

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I return to school today, after having been off for the thanksgiving long weekend. And i don't know how to feel about all of this. I'm even half tempted to ask for well wishes or something, because of my current stress. Because as i mentioned before, i feel nervous about leaving school in the future (i don't know how to deal with reading and stuff in the future), so that's stressful. But also going to school is always just a nerve wracking thing. The wait for the bus is nerve wracking and i don't like to go bathroom at school, so i hole up in the bathroom before school. It's stressful sometimes. Also because i've lately struggled with feelings of insecurity regarding not reading enough. Because with this being my last year of high school, it's the last consistent year of reading for me.

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britneyshakespeare · 18 days ago

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do you ever feel like an absolute creep just for looking at somebody's social media profile and not interacting at all and it's like you feel like they can see you scrolling and reading and thinking and if you make one wrong move they know everything

#my social anxiety is insane. im literally looking at a web page #tales from diana #what if they get notified that someone looked at their publicly available posts #often enough when i do this. i just block the person. lolllll #but then i worry what if they somehow know that i blocked them 👁#and it's like. well. i know twitter is shit nowadays and musk changed a buncha things (allegedly. idk i havent tweeted since late '21)#but i bet they still don't notify someone when someone just looks at their tweets and leaves and blocks #and it's so ridiculous bc my account is private. has like 30 followers. hasn't been active in over 3 years #algorithmically it's completely hidden as far as anythign goes. i ONLY use it to lurk since u cant look at tweets wo logging in anymore #but i'm like what if i show up in this guy from high school's recommended. yeah as if lol #but i have to be so honest w you... the guy from high school... was really funny i love reading his tweets lol

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girlivealwaysbean · 23 days ago

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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point

#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow #2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too #like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does #i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made #after school was leaving my work and therefore my life #9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday #i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics #barely affects me #but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well #it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be #i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time #like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news #i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc #i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't #make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc #but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully #drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood #when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily #at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know #we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly #in the dead of night in our room #i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus #that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their #body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive #i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times #like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not #have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone

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aq2003 · 4 months ago

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Dropping in to say I watched the 2011 Much Ado About Nothing and I’m a changed person. New piece of favorite media unlocked. I’m gonna be insufferable about it to my friends. I loved the 2019 version clips you posted and I’m definitely going to try and find a full version of that as well. Also want to read Hamlet bc everything I read about it sounds insane. I liked Shakespeare as a kid until high school english made me absolutely hate it, so thanks for helping me get back into it lol.

YESSSSSSSSSSS 2011 MUCH ADO MY BELOVEDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!! also you can watch the 2019 version here on archive.org (absolutely fantastic benedick/beatrice and also my favorite rendition of hero!)

#my process for consuming a shakespeare play for Real is i pick an adaptation to watch first #then i pull up the text and watch it again but like pausing to make my notes on characters/lines/production choices/etc #sometimes i go onto genius.com for the annotations for added context/meanings to help if i don't get what's going on #(that worked best for hamlet though the other ones are a bit more sparse)#then i watch it a third time w all the knowledge in my brain. Then i move onto watching a bunch of other productions #much ado #ws #i was fortunate enough to have my shakespeare enjoyment be based off of english/literature teachers i had that were really good #i got really attached to hamlet when i was learning it in high school then i got really attached to it again when i learned abt metatheater #but yea the most common thing i see re: bad english teachers putting ppl off shakespeare is that they make u read the text #instead of watching it. Or if they do make u watch an adaptation it's one that sucks and is boring #so like on my own time i make sure the adaptation im learning the text off is interesting and also good

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2hff · 7 months ago

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Listen if Oliver and the show hadn't made such a thing about how they wanted Buck's bisexuality to be an natural and positive thing and NOT fall into the whole they can only be "tragically gay" storyline...I would swear they actually were setting up Tommy to be a bad guy!

#buck #tommy #911 abc #just little things here and there.#not even obvious shit like how he was an asshole in all the begins epsisodes #but just something pings as not genuine #like when he high fives eddie at the bachelor party and everyone is saying he was totally going to smack Eddie's ass #i don't read it that way. I read it as a 90's frat boy making fun of someone he doesn't think is cool enough.#you know what I'm talking about - we've all seen the guy who interacted with someone and then paused to like pantomime to his buddies #“can you believe this loser thinks I really like him??”#and then his “too cool for school” attitude about not dressing up for party? yeah: asshole

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moneygoblin04 · 3 days ago

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I am stressed, and I am on edge, and I feel like I'm actually, legitimately reaching my limit. It's kinda funny how my mom was the one to push me there

#she seems to think i have all the time in the world #but i don't think she realizes just how much of that time is spent mentally recovering from #or preparing for #something #i also don't think she realizes she is a huge part of the problem #on top of the general school and work stuff #she's been badgering me to do things for a while now #it's cleaning my room #or applying to jobs #or going to church #or reading the bible #it's always something #there's always something im not doing well enough #then she'll go behind my back and make plans involving me without telling me and then blame ME for not being considerate of those plans #she had the fucking gall to say “there's something going on that you aren't telling me”#like no shit it's almost as if any time i talk to you about something you either blow me off or turn it against me #apparently im getting pretty good at hiding when im having a shit time when im not actively trying to make sure the person knows #to the point when i had an actual panic attack before a surgery once it supposedly came out of nowhere for her #like im starting to realize just how disconnected from my life she actually is at this point and i don't think i care to fix it #i shouldn't fucking have to #i shouldn't have to deal with that on top of school. work. my social life. my finances. hygiene. self-care. etc #not when i don't think she's willing to put through any effort towards improvement #not when she's “the grown adult”#not when her reaction to me making a mistake or losing motivation for something is often along the lines of...#“do you want to end up like your father?”#im so unbelievably fucking done #im about ready to give someone more than just a piece of mind. they're about to get the whole fucking mess of a thing.#the best part? this week's all downhill from here #gobby rants

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