#when i am among the trees
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Mary Oliver, from a poem titled "When I Am Among The Trees," featured in Devotions: Poems
#lit#mary oliver#poetry#quote#words#when i am among the trees#fragment#writings#selection#dark academia#p
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when I am among the trees, mary oliver (read by amanda palmer)
made by yours truly
#nature#to become a tree#mary oliver#poetry#poems#literature#when i am among the trees#my photography#trees#paralells#art#amanda palmer#my films#classic literature
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(…) and you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.
Mary Oliver, excerpt of “when I am among the trees”, in thirst
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When I Am Among the Trees
When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.
– Mary Oliver, Evidence: Poems
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Tarot October BPC | Day 11
The Empress - About Nature
When I am among the trees, especially the willows and the honey locust, equally the beech, the oaks and the pines, they give off such hints of gladness. I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
#tarotoctoberbpc#when I am among the trees#mary oliver#poetry#open books#booklr#mypics#books#books and flowers#bookblr#read
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tbh I am kinda hoping in 10 years they will invent a new gender and it will somehow feel perfect and I'll psychically know how to present as that gender and everything will be great and I'll never feel out of place in my life or my clothing again and everyone will understand my whole deal immediately upon seeing me <- delusional
#it could happen!#when it can be whatever i want but what i want is to go into the forest among the trees and never come back out#now that doesn't help me figure it out does it.#i wish it was as simple as wearing some type of clothing or using some pronouns and feeling at home even if that gave me other problems#were the dresses worse? i mean it was worse to feel fragile. are men's pants better? i mean they are sturdier#is it better to refer to myself in different ways? i mean it is just different#i just feel like me no matter what I wear or how i act like all of that is just an overlay for the convenience of others#that's not Me. fell for the facade that i at all belong here in whatever box you've put me in didn't you#whatever you think i am i'm not that! that's just a bit i do#now when will they invent a pronoun that indicates the futility of trying to ever truly understand another person
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Still unwell about Rilke and PH
I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There I can find, as in old letters,
the days of my life, already lived,
and held like a legend, and understood.
Then the knowing comes: I can open
to another life that's wide and timeless.
So I am sometimes like a tree
rustling over a gravesite
and making real the dream
of the one its living roots
embrace:
a dream once lost
among sorrows and songs.
#There's in Rilke and especially in this particular book a lot about the world‚ created in the beholding and loving it‚#and one existing to love the world. There's so much about the world being created by that loving and knowing the world of one individual#person that loves and knows it. A kind of feedback loop of existing and being by love and knowledge that is all a participation#on the act of creation. The person coming to exist to love and know the world‚ and creating the world by loving and beholding it#This is also present on Juan Ramón Jiménez‚ among others‚ but 5 yo me was obsessed with those poems. ANYWAY#This topic made me think of Lacie a lot but in this particular poem that topic + the 'I'm sorry' scene + the figure of Lacie beyond Lacie‚#a Lacie that's legend and real‚ a Lacie always sitting under a tree‚ life ending and life expanding so to speak‚...#That kind of knowing it all in a glimpse that is knowing in an instant and eternal (which again reminds me of Kierkegaard‚#fitting I'd say with Rilke). I'm explaining myself terribly but I don't want to talk too much haha But yeah it all seemed very fitting#There was another poem about spiralling so to speak around god that I also thought was very Lacie but very PH in general#('I live my life in widening circles / that reach out across the world. / I may not complete this last one / but I give myself to it /#I circle around God‚ around the primordial tower. / I've been circling for thousands of years / and I still don't know: am I a falcon‚ /#a storm or a great song?'). The spiralling around god in what is still some sort of emanence or reflection of it while being also#different iterations of the self which all reflect it also reminded me a lot of Cantor's transfinite numbers#Which again is quite fitting and coherent with the other authors and PH imo‚ but I may be biased. Anyway yes. This reminded me of Lacie#I didn't plan on drawing anything at first and now I have to flinch to read the poem#I hope I'll recognise enough of what I've written when I eventually come back to this#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#mine*
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.
#;; mun chatter#am i alive?? theoretically#the Internet box shipped but IDK when it'll get here#but i survived the move. somehow.#i am now among trees and rivers#it's great#today i saw the ocean#i was that one meme IT'S FUNKEN WIMBDY
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focus on me
✩ qimir x acolyte!reader | smut | fluff | 2.5k
SUMMARY | in which the tension finally breaks between you and your master when you train together one afternoon.
WARNINGS | smut, s*xual force choking, knee foreplay, finger sucking, f*ngering, dirty talk, piv s*x, unprotected s*x, violence (fighting and choking)
RATING | explicit
NOTES | i'm simply a girl who's fallen to the dark side for qimir!!! qimir's lowkey a softie in this, which might not be canon, but idc!!!
You stumble back with your palm soiled wet.
Thankfully, you grounded the rest of your weight with your makeshift wooden staff. Panting, you drag yourself upward, readying yourself for what’s to come next.
Sweat drips down your forehead as the sun begins to dip into the horizon beyond the abundance of trees and overgrowth, the heat felt by your exposed arms and through your thin sleeveless wrap top.
It's been more than two hours of training, but your master knows your limit. Pushes you until you break–and he knows you’re far from your breaking point.
Perspiration also stains his forehead. Master Qimir wipes it away with the back of his hand, moving his hair aside too.
Moments like these, you pride yourself in knowing his identity after years of him preserving his anonymity behind that intimidating, powerful mask. He’s gained followers over time since you've known him, but you’re his one and only acolyte.
Your mind wanders further. Why does he choose to wear his mask in public when he can make nations fall to their knees just with a flash of his smirk?
Said smirk is plastered on his face as he twirls his two batons between his fingers with ease. Beyond his smirk, there was also the ordeal of seeing his glistening, gorgeous arms every day and–
Your master calls out your name playfully, “I hope you’re focusing on me.”
“You know I am, Master.” You’re not exactly lying. You inch closer, holding your staff firmly with both hands and pointing one end of it in his direction.
He tsks and lets out of a deep chuckle. It always bothers you how his chuckles make your heart skip a beat, among the other things it does to the rest of your body.
“You're focusing on things about me, Acolyte. Not on me directly, nor on my presence,”—he paces in a circle around you, with you tracking his every step—“If this was a real fight, you’d be dead.”
“Well, I can’t help it that my master can be so distracting!” you grit out, taking the opportunity to lunge towards him.
Weapons clash. Loud echoes continually reverberate throughout the forest, along with your occasional grunts.
Master Qimir’s style is aggressive and swift, always on the offense, so you’ve become accustomed to defend his moves well. He comes in with one baton towards your side, and the other towards your head. You deflect both smoothly, and without much thought, you decide to attack him.
However, your confidence blinds you.
Too close.
He elbows your arm and slams into your side, causing your staff to drop.
Then, Qimir shoves you far with the Force, distancing you from your weapon, and gets close again to hook his foot around yours. Your back stings as you fall down.
In the blink of an eye, he pins you down with both batons tightly pressed against your throat, cutting off your air supply. You struggle under him, trying your best to smack him away with your diminishing strength.
“Breathe, think, and focus,” he calmly orders, despite the agonizing scene in front of him.
You take a second to compose yourself, inhaling as much as you can for a second.
Suddenly, you feel his knee move up between your legs, spreading them.
And you feel him moving upwards again, but this time brushing against your core.
Your sparring composure absolutely shatters–a gasp and small moan release, and you’re back to struggling once more.
You assume it was a mistake, but you’re relishing in the pleasure nevertheless, even in your current state of distress.
“Focus, my acolyte,” Master Qimir barks, and he presses the batons harder into you. “Focus!”
Your vision begins to blur alongside the increasing pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. Gathering all your might and wanting to avoid disappointing Qimir, you breathe as much as you can and drown out everything to focus on how to get out of the situation.
With a sliver of consciousness left, you will yourself to use the Force and seize your staff. Your fingers clutch around it and you thwack Qimir hard on the head, disorienting him for a moment. Without hesitation, throughout your excessive gasping, you skillfully maneuver yourself to switch positions.
Now, your staff is pressed against his throat.
“Is this better, Master?” you pant and cough with a grin, basking in your success. “Am I focused now?”
He grants a brief nod, but you notice an unusual look in his eyes.
It reads as a rare time he’s overly impressed, but there’s something else.
Qimir raises his hand and gently curls it around yours, wordlessly asking you to lower your weapon. You ruffle your eyebrows, unsure why he’s letting down his guard against you during training.
“Master Qimir,” you whisper, still holding your staff to the side with a relaxed but guarded grip, “is this another test of yours?”
He shakes his head, his touch now carefully grazing your forehead and cheeks. Your staff rolls away as your eyes flutter, savoring this foreign feeling from him–tenderness, affection, warmth. A hand softly cups your face.
“Training’s over for today.”
The warmth fades into familiar roughness with a sharp pull by the back of your neck downwards.
His mouth drives into yours, each kiss igniting fire within you, sparking every inch of your body. Desire is bursting at the seams. He kneads your neck and body intently, mirroring you as you clutch onto his face and sturdy frame.
You’d be lying to yourself if you said you had never fantasized kissing Qimir before, but this is everything you dreamed of and better.
“Master–” you gasp sharply at the sensation of him pressing his knee up against you again. Reflexively, you writhe as your body screams for more.
“You like this a lot���” His tone drips of arrogance. Further pressure is added and he happily inhales your moans between his teasing chuckles.
You manage to muster the following amidst the rising pleasure, “So it was intentional before.”
“Of course.” His words are muffled as he leaves open-mouthed kisses upon the side of your neck. Your fingers dig further into his shoulder and scalp as he cups your breast. “You need to learn to push aside your desires when training.”
“Should we stop then?” The neck kissing sears you, especially when he tugs skin between his teeth to bite and suck. “To teach me a lesson?”
He shakes his head and removes himself from your neck, coming back up to drag your lower lip between his teeth.
“It doesn’t mean I want to push aside my desires.”
You catch a fleeting glimpse of his signature smirk before his lips are on yours again. Kisses become more electric as he dips his tongue into your mouth.
Hands fly erratically and grasp everywhere. His arms. Your ass. Fingers running beneath his top, feeling up his abs. His harsh grips of your thighs.
Unexpectedly, he holds you close and flips you over; you’re back on top of him again and you can surely feel his prominent desire against yours.
In a rush, you bunch up his thin shirt and attempt to pull it off him. He sits up with you in his lap and, with a fluid flick of his wrist, he rids you of your clothes and they are tossed to one side; his follow suit. Qimir promptly draws his nearby robes closer to be placed underneath you both, covering yourselves from the soiled forest.
The look in his eyes is unmistakably lust-filled, completely insatiable. He wastes no time in taking your tit into his mouth, tongue flicking and lips puckering, while one hand holds you by your back and the other dips two fingers into your desire, wet and ready for him.
You arch into him, leaning your head back and letting yourself go. Wanting to reciprocate, you reach out to stroke his cock. Relishing in the pleasure, he draws back his head, eyes closed, and leans his forehead against your chest.
The forest may be filled with the rustling of the wind against the trees and the odd bird cawing, but all you can focus on is Qimir’s throaty groans and every obscene squelch when he slides his fingers in and out of you.
He glances up and attempts to open his eyes as much as he can to give you his full attention, despite the heavenly strokes you’re giving him.
Eyes shine back at you with the utmost vulnerability–a sight you never see. A sight that you want to etch into your memory forever, knowing you, his Acolyte, could make your Master weak and let his guard down with just your touch.
“You don’t know how long I’ve held myself back…”
The vulnerability dissipates as he darts his tongue against your untouched nipple.
“...wanting to see you like this for me.”
You two become one for a while as he plays with you like a toy he just received as a gift. He tries you out, sees what you like and what you can handle. How sensitive you are with your breasts. How many fingers you can take. How much noise you make when he thumbs your clit.
At one point, he eventually removes his fingers from you, evidently drenched from your bliss. He holds out his fingers in front of you, and you realize what he’s suggesting.
Obediently, like you always are with him, you open your mouth and let his fingers lay on your tongue. You wrap your mouth around them, and finally let yourself suck on them a bit, tasting yourself and treating his fingers as if it were his cock.
When you finish, to your surprise, he sticks his fingers into his own mouth, sucking off the remnants of you. He then kisses you deeply. Tasting yourself in his mouth excites you, riles you up again and back to wanting the next step with Qimir.
As if reading your mind, he adjusts himself to lay back down vertically, and takes you by your wrist to lead you to sit onto him.
You hold his possession against you between your legs, teasing his tip by not quite sitting onto him fully, indulging in your control over him. However, at this point, Qimir lacks patience, so he grasps you by your waist and forces you to ease onto his length.
The guttural moan you release could easily be heard at all ends of the forest.
He fills you deliciously, stretches you in the sweetest way possible. Using the strength of your thighs and your hands to keep you steady, you bounce at a comfortable pace, not wanting this to end just yet.
When you find a good position to balance your weight, you allow yourself to stroke his perfect body. His chiseled abs. The solid planes of his chest. His strong forearms. The sharp jawline that you dream of kissing almost every night.
“You take my cock so well.”
A more familiar look flashes through his eyes, one that you normally see him flash prior to slaying Jedi or when he's in a bad mood. It’s drenched with darkness and dominance, almost bordering on fury.
You freeze, and then you feel it.
The constriction around your throat, created by the Force. He can easily kill you within seconds. He's done this only once to you, and that was when he was testing your loyalty to him years ago.
But this is different. Different than that time, and most definitely different than before with his batons. This is more controlled; the hold is mostly against the sides of your windpipe and it isn't overtly harsh.
On top of that, your entire body is on fire, becoming wound up by this act.
“Do you enjoy this?” he asks, tone teetering between curiosity and being threatening.
“Yes,” you mentally scream.
“I want to hear you say it.”
“Yes,” you manage to croak.
He raises an eyebrow. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Nu-uh,” he says. “Say my name, my beautiful acolyte.”
You're too distracted to be caught up in the fact that he called you beautiful. Instinctively, you want to ride this new sensation to lead you to another high. But you know that if you don’t reply, he might not let you get there.
“Yes, Qimir.”
His signature smirk takes up his whole face and your pussy clenches tighter at the sight of it. He may have the upper hand with his strength around your neck, but so do you when you notice the flickering of his eyes.
“And how does my cock feel?” He tightens a little more around your throat, and you're affected further. Qimir's collectedness can only take much longer too.
“Feels good, feels so fucking good…”
Intoxication rises from your abdomen and to all ends of your body. Your eyes begin to roll, and you're so close—
And it's gone. The tightness on your throat stops, and so is your near-high.
You're about to complain, but Qimir quickly hauls you in close to his body. Face to face, forehead to forehead, your breaths fan one another.
“Before I let either of us finish, I want to hear you say my name as you come on my cock.”
That smirk will be the absolute death of you, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
“Can you do that for me?”
You nod breathlessly.
Your master holds you by your waist and immediately thrusts over and over, deep and fast into you. Desperate to reach his climax, and to ensure you get to yours too.
“QimirQimirQimir–”
And so you unravel, voice rising with every iteration. Saying his name like you’re praying for forgiveness from all ends of the universe.
Qimir then brings his mouth to yours once more, swallowing all your pretty whimpers and allowing himself to chase his own release moments later.
Laying on his bare chest, you glance up at him and wonder how the relationship between you will be from now on.
You couldn’t just go back to what you were before; you would now be a master and acolyte intertwined sexually at least, romantically at most. Would it not be complicated?
But of course, Master Qimir can hear what’s going on in your mind, and he doesn’t even need the Force to do so. Being his enigmatic self, he merely answers your thoughts by speaking the Sith Code:
“‘Peace is a lie. There is only passion…’”
He meets your eyes, strokes your face with a small smile. Affection blooms in your chest.
“‘Through passion, I gain strength.’”
Holds your hand against his beating chest.
“‘Through strength, I gain power.’”
His grip tightens.
“‘Through power, I gain victory. And through victory, my chains are broken.’”
Qimir leans in and kisses you deeply as the darkness of the night sky engulfs you, the sun saying its goodbye for the night.
And with that, you realize that no matter what will happen from here on out, he’ll always care for you.
That despite all the blood, sweat, and tears shed through training, stealing, and all the killing, he’s just as loyal and devoted to you as you are to him.
#qimir x reader#qimir x you#qimir smut#qimir fanfic#star wars x reader#star wars smut#star wars x you#star wars fanfiction
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mary oliver, when I am among the trees
#mary oliver#literature#poetry#quotes#poems#trees#nature#classic literature#when i am among the trees#romantic academia#light academia
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When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It's simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.”
When I am Among the Trees by Mary Oliver
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cassidy tag dump
#❝ greet the world with open arms ❞ → ooc; answered#❝ and there may not be meaning; so find one and seize it ❞ → ooc; memes#❝ like theseus's ship (we'll fix the busted bits) ❞ → ooc; starter call#❝ crowned by an overture bold and beyond ❞ → ooc; promos#❝ still the salt winds blow ❞ → ooc; queue#❝ throw yourself into the unknown (with pace and a fury defiant) ❞ → threads#❝ the sky looked white and the water like wine ❞ → aes#❝ when does a ripple become a tidal wave? ❞ → musings#❝ more than meets the eye ❞ → visage#❝ your boldness stands alone among the wreck ❞ → hcs#❝ i will learn to love the skies i'm under ❞ → home; nyc#❝ the trees i climbed when i was a child ❞ → home; virginia beach#❝ hey quick question. how petty am i allowed to be? ❞ → crack/shenanigans#❝ i could hear the world outside calling me ❞ → interests#as if glass could contain the sea ( relation: thetis )#waters deep to the roots ( relation: francesca grey )#all those questions unasked ( relation: achilles )#v; cause i've seen the line of ocean and shore ( main verse )#v; my time will come ( kronos' army au )#v; living on borrowed time ( battle of manhattan era au )#v; how you will heal and you’ll rise above#v; hear those bells ring deep in the soul ( underworld )#v; a long way out to reach the sea ( gen. fantasy )#v; and see life as a means to a triumph ( bronze age )
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@anelaxoxo
"And you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine."
Mary oliver, from Evidence :poems, "when i am among the trees"
#dark academia#chaotic academia#green academia#light academia#classic academia#dark acadamia aesthetic#aesthetic#dark academia aesthetic#art academia#art#literature#chaotic dark academia#dark academia aesthetics#romantic academia#dark romanticism#romanticism#green moodboard#dark moodboard#dark green#beautiful architecture#mary oliver#poetry books#poetry#books and coffee#victorian
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I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator
🪆 chekovsgunman Follow
to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???
🪴 plantdad Follow
You've got to be kidding me
🪆 chekovsgunman Follow
I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!
5,324 notes
🩺 therealmccoy Follow
After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!
🩺 therealmccoy Follow
Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.
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🖖 iamspock Follow
Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.
For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.
Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?
I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.
💅 janicethemenace Follow
I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT
💉 xtinechapel Follow
DELETE THIS
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭
🔧 scott-free Follow
But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
DMing you rn 😳
🖖 iamspock Follow
You're welcome.
24,103 notes
🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow
PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.
My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.
🪴 plantdad Follow
I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀
🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow
Do I really have to say it?
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💊 mmmbenga Follow
The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist
⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow
Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.
💊 mmmbenga Follow
Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole
#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them
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😎 ortegaaaas Follow
So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins
🚀 mitchiemitch Follow
Erica no! That's not how navigation works!
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
FLOOR IT???
🚀 mitchiemitch Follow
ERICA NO
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID
🚀 mitchiemitch
ERICA P L E A S E
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🐴 sirsilverfox Follow
I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.
How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO
💫 numerouna Follow
Wait what did I miss while I was gone
🐴 sirsilverfox Follow
Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///
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#star trek#Star Trek tos#Star Trek snw#James kirk#Jim kirk#spock#Leonard mccoy#nyota uhura#spirk#una chin riley#montgomery scott#uhotty#Chris pike#joseph m'benga#Star Trek aos#pavel chekov#Hikaru sulu#erica ortegas#christine chapel#bones mccoy#Tumblr dashboard simulator#Star Trek meme#Star Trek strange new worlds#Star Trek the original series
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Haunting Me
[Legolas/F!Reader]
A.N: I have been struggling to write (like usual), so I figured I would whip out a no pressure Legolas fic. ANYWAYS, I strangely loved writing this!!! Thanks for the request XOXO
Request: @goose-gremlin — “Could you maybe do a Legolas x Reader on their period?”
Pairing: Legolas X Fem!Reader
Summary: The Reader is a member of Greenwood's Guard and is struggling with menstrual/period pain. Legolas takes care of her.
Disclaimer: I don't know elvish. I use the gracious elvish dictionary. Sue me lol
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: blood, menstruation/period, pain, PMS, slight nakedness (not anything spicy you filthy fools), fluff, sweet precious elf boy
MASTERLIST | AO3 | WATTPAD
(Y/N)’s nose twitched, the pungent, musty scent of the incoming vile beasts invaded the fresh earthy tones of the Greenwood forest. Her keen ears picked up on subtle scurrying, the sound carried by the drift of the soft wind. Her jaw clenched and her fingers adjusted the grasp of her sword as she felt the aura of the trees shift—a surge of adrenaline fueling her anxiety, worsening the pain in her abdomen. Briefly locking eyes with the other elves in her sector, spread among the trees alert and ready, she knew their moment of action was imminent.
(Y/N) summoned the little energy she had through a deep inhale, praying to the Valar that these spiders wouldn't be in such a frenzied state. Because, if so, fuck that. For at the present moment in time, she really didn't have the capacity to deal with that absolute, motherfucking horseshit.
Because, truly, getting killed due to slowness from fatigue and cramps from one’s bloodmoon cycle would be rather unfortunate and deeply regrettable. However, facing expulsion from the guard and losing her reputation as one of the hand-picked defenders of the royal line because of it would be even worse.
(Y/N)’s gaze narrowed as Prince Legolas, leader of the Greenwood Guard, raised a closed fist.
Nêl (Three).
Tâd (Two).
Mîn (One).
He opened his palm, signaling the command: Kill them. Kill them all.
With a firm thud, (Y/N)'s boots landed on the soft soil as she sprung from the trees. She was quick with her blade, hunting the spiders as if they were meaningless prey. Her weapon was an extension of her form. Every movement was fluid and graceful, a testament to her mastery of combat. Despite her pain, she spun and twisted with ease, severing the arachnids' limbs effortlessly.
As she fought, she made sure to keep an eye on the Prince, knowing that if anything were to happen to Legolas under her watch, the king would surely banish her. Besides, she harbored no desire for him to meet his demise. She found him rather…admirable. Nothing more than that—of course not.
As (Y/N) advanced upon one of the vile beasts, her senses tingled with warning. Abruptly, she halted in her tracks, narrowly dodging an arrow that whizzed past her stomach. Her eyes narrowed as she wiped her head to see just who fired that arrow. A scoff escaped her lips as she locked eyes with him: Rekón.
When the battle came to an end, (Y/N) strutted towards Rekón, who was wiping the edge of his blade upon his thigh.
“What the hell was that out there?!” She snapped at him.
“What is it you speak of?”
“You nearly put an arrow in me!”
He shrugged. “Perhaps, you should have been faster, Shadowfoot.”
She scoffed at Greenwood’s nickname for her. “You're lucky I am fast. I can assume you don’t want elven blood on your hands—especially my blood.
He sheathed his blade and crossed his arms. “Don’t exaggerate, (Y/N). It’s unbecoming. Besides,” he leaned in and his voice lowered, taking on a snarky tone, “I don't care if you're handpicked by the King to be the Prince’s shadow, you're a pain in the ass.”
“Really, Otuuk Fe`Saign (warg kisser)?! I could have you and your ass in the mud faster than you could say—”
The rather tense interaction was interrupted by Legolas clearing his throat beside the pair. “What is going on over here?” he demanded.
(Y/N) huffed, not taking her eyes off the man before her. “Rekón here nearly redecorated my abdomen with a fucking arrow!”
The Prince sighed. “You know we can’t always calculate every motion on the battlefield, (Y/N). I am sure Rekón meant no harm.” He paused, turning his attention to the ellon. “Rekón, in the future, mind your arrows.”
“That’s the reprimand he gets?! Are you fu—“
Legolas looked at the elleth. “Watch your language, Shadowfoot. I expect this attitude to be gone by the time we enter my father’s halls.”
With that, Legolas walked away, calling out orders to burn the spider carcasses and move out.
As he disappeared into the mess of elves, (Y/N)’s brows pulled downward in a grumpy frown. “Princeling Ass,” she murmured to herself.
Unbeknownst to her, as she turned away, Legolas' gaze followed her, seeking out her form and lingering as she walked away.
….
The sun had not yet risen when the Prince’s sector of the Greenwood Guard arrived back in the Palace. The warriors dispersed into the armory, diligently stowing their weapons and armor in their designated places. (Y/N), however, did no such thing. Instead, with a persistent scowl etched on her face, she marched through the room and passed through the arched exit of the armory—presumably heading towards her chambers. Legolas's gaze tracked her suspiciously as she departed.
As the day progressed, the members of the Prince’s sector resumed their usual routines. Because it was their first day back from patrol, they were exempt from basic guard duties and standard positions. Instead, they utilized the early hours of the morning to bathe and rejuvenate themselves before gathering in the dining hall for breakfast. The remainder of the day was theirs to unwind and compile their patrol reports—the King sought to stay informed about all occurrences and perspectives during patrols, for a darkness seemed to be spreading among his trees.
At supper, Legolas moved among the tables in the dining hall, gathering last-minute reports from the warriors in his sector. As he did so, he scanned the long wooden benches, searching for the scowling gaze that had accompanied the last couple of days of patrol; however, there was no such gaze and no such person that it belonged to. Simply put, there was no sign of (Y/N).
She had missed all three meals and had failed to submit her patrol report.
Legolas cleared his throat before he addressed the elves from whom he was collecting papers. “Have you seen Shadowfoot? I need her report,” he inquired.
They shook their heads, more interested in their food than one missing shadow.
Legolas sighed, but refrained from pressing further. If anyone knew her whereabouts, they would have mentioned it.
Therefore, he made his way to her quarters.
When he arrived, he knocked softly on the door, but was met with silence.
"(Y/N)," he called out, his voice carrying through the wooden barrier.
Still, there was no response.
After a moment’s hesitation, Legolas reached for the door knob and twisted it slowly. The wood swung open quietly under his touch, exposing the darkness of the room beyond. Moonlight filtered in through the opened window, casting shadows that danced across the floor, the curtains billowing gently in the cold night air.
Legolas carefully stepped through the threshold and closed the door behind him. As he took in his surroundings further, surprise crossed his features. He didn't know what he had been expecting since he hadn't been in (Y/N)’s quarters, but it most certainly was not this.
The room was a complete mess. Clothing lay strewn about, along with various trinkets—small hand-carved boxes, beautiful natural rocks, and melted candles absent of flame. Several stacks of books were piled beside the bed, a few of them open and their pages still. Her weapons were scattered haphazardly, some resting on the floor, others on the table or atop the dresser. Legolas even noticed a few knives embedded into the wooden door—a sight that would surely displease Ada.
It was chaotic but calm in a sort of strange way. Typical for (Y/N), he supposed.
The Prince moved to walk further into the room, but was quickly halted against his will. His foot had gotten caught and, if it wasn't for his swift reflexes, he would have face-planted upon the stone flooring.
Legolas sucked in a sharp breath as he stabilized his form. Glancing down, he discovered the culprit—a crumpled tunic tangled around his boot, its fabric caught between the lacings.
He immediately sighed in dismay.
The blond-haired Prince reached down to untangle the stubborn garment. It proved to be a more challenging task than he had anticipated, requiring a few moments of quiet curses and annoyed grunts before he managed to free himself. Carefully, he folded the fabric and placed it upon a nearby chair.
Cautiously, he advanced to the large bed. At first, he could not spot the warrior within, given that the fluffy comforter and mountain of pillows were blocking his view. However, when he pulled back the blankets slightly, sure enough, she was buried deep within. The pillows were arranged around her like a protective nest and she was laying on her side. Her hair was splattered across the cushioned fabric and her expression was…one of pain. Her brows were pulled tight, her nose crinkled, and lips slightly parted.
At this, Legolas frowned, for he was now troubled deeply.
Diligently, the Prince reached out to brush some hair from her face, but just as his fingers made contact with her cheek, his action was interrupted.
(Y/N) suddenly sat up, a knife in hand. With wild eyes, she tried to slam it into his carotid artery.
He reacted quickly, Legolas intercepted her arm, preventing the blade from reaching its target. For a moment, they both froze in that tense position, the gravity of the situation sinking in as they processed what was happening.
(Y/N) was breathing quickly and she appeared very disheveled and confused. It seemed to take her a moment longer to grasp the situation fully.
"Jukkete (fuck)," she breathed out, trying to catch her breath before snapping at him. "Legolas, I almost killed you!"
The Prince still held her wrist. “(Y/N),” he began, “Are you alright?”
She huffed. "You know better than to sneak up on me like that, Princeling!" With a sharp twist, she pulled away from his grasp and settled back into the blankets. “What are you doing here?”
He raised his brows. “Princeling?” he questioned, a hint of amusement in his tone.
(Y/N) only grunted in response.
He sighed. “No one has seen you all day and—“ his sentence abruptly halted as he noticed a red stain upon the comforter. “(Y/N), you are bleeding!” He exclaimed. Without hesitation, he grasped at the blankets, in an attempt to detangle her form from them, as he continued his babbling of concern. “Why didn’t you tell me you were injured on patrol?!”
“Legolas,” she interrupted, her voice firm.
“Is it from Rekón’s arrow?! I thought you said he ‘nearly’ hit you?”
“Legolas,” she tried again.
He yanked the blanket further.” Because I swear to the Valar if it was from him, I will—“
“Legolas! Stop!” She snapped, her patience wearing thin. “I’m not injured.”
His jaw clenched in frustration. “(Y/N), I have been a warrior for all my life, I know the site of blood. That is blood. You cannot lie to me. I am your sector leader, your Prince—“
“Legolas! It’s my bloodmoon cycle!” she interrupted, sitting up to glare at him once more.
An awkward silence settled into the dark room.
“You are in pain,” he stated.
“I’m fine.”
His brows raised again. “Now, why don’t I believe you?”
“Because you're a princeling ass,” she retorted.
“No. Because for the last three days of patrol, your demeanor has been notably irritable, as you are now. You've been favoring your left side, your jaw has remained tightly clenched, and your skin a shade too pale. Not to mention, you've consistently had your hand on your hip, I'm assuming in an attempt to try and alleviate discomfort, and you even vomited behind a tree on two occasions. And, here you are, Shadowfoot, in bed, sleeping the day away in dirty clothes and not caring that you lay in blood.” He paused before finalizing his evidence. “You are in pain.”
“You have been spying on me?! I am supposed to be your shadow.”
“I have been keeping an eye on you,” he clarified.
“Why?!”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “Because you are a member of my sector. You are my responsibility.”
“You are my responsibility,” she corrected.
He released hot air from his nose. “I am required to keep an eye on all of my warriors, whether they were hand-picked to guard me or not.”
(Y/N) huffed, shaking her head. “Did you know Sethna took a pretty nasty hit to her leg?”
“Don’t try to change the subject,” he gruffed.
“Legolas, did you know about it or not?”
A rather long moment of silence extended into the night before the Prince reluctantly responded in a low tone. “No.”
“Then you don't watch every warrior like you watch me.”
He inhaled slowly, trying to steer the conversation away from what (Y/N) was insinuating. “Is Sethna alright?”
“Yeah, she’s fine.”
Legolas nodded slowly, before returning to the main topic. “Why didn't you tell me you were in pain while on patrol?”
She rolled her eyes before muttering his name. “Legolas.”
“Why haven't you seen a healer?” he persisted.
She exhaled slowly, knowing Legolas wasn't going to let this go. “Because the healers document everything, and those records get attached to evaluations.”
“So?”
“So, I would be dismissed from the guard and relieved of my position!” she snapped.
He snorted lightly. “You would not be dismissed from the guard nor relieved of your position.”
“Others have gotten so for far less!”
Surprising her, his normally collected tone turned into a rough reply. “That doesn't mean that you would have!”
She frowned, her once loud voice now subdued. “What's that supposed to mean?”
He sent her a warning look, his eyes cautioning her against probing further.
Silence reigned for a third time that night before Legolas spoke softly. “Rest. I will draw you a bath.”
“Princeling, I do not need you to draw me a bath. I do not need a bath at all. Like I said, I am fine.”
He shook his head. “You are in pain. Let me help you.”
“Legolas–”
He cut her off. “(Y/N), do not try to argue with me on this. That is an order. Shadow or not, I am your superior and you will listen.”
With that, he stood and made his way into the bathing chambers, leaving the elleth alone with her thoughts.
She let out a slow, contemplative exhale before sinking back into the embrace of the bed once more. Lost in a haze of exhaustion, she must have drifted into a brief slumber, for it was only moments later that Legolas returned, his thumb brushing against her cheek. His voice, barely above a whisper, reached her ears. “(Y/N),” he urged softly. “Come. The water is hot. It will alleviate your pain.”
Groggily, she opened her eyes, confusion evident in the furrow of her brow.
“Come,” he repeated.
Gradually, she sat upwards, letting her legs dangle off the edge of the mattress. She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth, praying to the Valar for the pain to settle.
“If the pain is too much, I can carry you,” Legolas offered in a gentle tone.
She scoffed, her eyes opening to glare at him. “I can manage on my own.”
With that declaration, (Y/N) stood up and took a few cautious steps forward. But before she could proceed further, a sharp gasp escaped her lips as the agony surged through her body, causing her to double over.
A comforting warmth enveloped her lower back as Legolas placed a reassuring hand there. He remained silent, respecting her pace and refraining from pressing his earlier offer.
A small whimper escaped her lips, tears threatening to escape from her eyes.
Legolas’ hand began to move in soft circles. “It will pass, Shadowfoot. I am here,” he whispered.
Slowly, she resumed her movement, inching her way towards the bathroom. Upon reaching the basin's edge, she gripped onto the sides tightly. She squeezed her lids shut once more, focusing on her breath.
Standing only inches behind her, Legolas spoke softly. “(Y/N), please, will you let me assist you? I hate to see you suffer.”
She exhaled through her nose, seemingly debating his offer. After a moment of contemplation, she relented. “Fine,” she stated, “but if you breathe a word of this—”
“I will not say a thing. I swear it,” he assured.
She nodded, accepting his promise.
“Let's get you undressed and in the bath then.”
With caution, his nimble fingers found the hem of her tunic and began to lift it over her head. Ensuring her stability by placing one hand gently on her hip, he then carefully guided her trousers downward, assisting her as she stepped out of them. Shaking slightly, she lifted each foot into the tub, one at a time, as the Prince's firm hand remained securely on her waist. Slowly, she lowered herself into the water, his touch barely trailing up her back as she descended. Her eyes closed and a sigh of relief escaped her lips, settling into the soothing heat of the water.
Legolas cleared his throat awkwardly. “I will just be in the other room. Call out if you need me.”
She simply hummed in response.
The Prince swiftly left the bathing room, making his way to the door leading to the hallway. Peering out, he caught sight of a maid. He called out to her and motioned for her to approach.
“Yes, my lord?” she inquired politely.
“I need you to fetch a new set of bedding and obtain the following herbs: valerian, boswellia, and athelas,” he instructed.
She nodded in understanding.
“And please, keep it discreet. I have an injured warrior in here who wishes for the injury to remain quiet.”
The maid nodded once more before hurrying off to fulfill his requests.
Legolas returned to the room, feeling the cool breeze from the open window once more. With determined strides, he crossed the space and closed it firmly, halting the chill from entering any longer. He then took to light some of the candles, casting a warm glow within the room before moving to the empty fireplace. He quickly grabbed kindling and wood from the basket beside the silent hearth, setting to task. Before long, the flames crackled loudly among the stone, radiating a comforting warmth that dispelled the lingering chill.
It was then when the maid entered, a large basket brimming with fluffy fabric in her arms. Placing it beside the bed, she then retrieved a pouch from the top. Approaching the Prince, she bowed her head. “The herbs you asked for, my lord.”
“Thank you,” he replied, accepting them graciously.
The maid took to changing the sheets, making no mention of the blood. Legolas cleared a space upon the table in (Y/N)’s room. Placing a cast iron pot—one of which was kept in each room—over the now vibrant flames, he filled it with water from a pitcher. As the water began to boil, he used a small bowl to grind the fresh herbs into a paste with a pestle. Once sufficiently smashed, he ladled some of the boiling water over it and allowed the mixture of herbs to steep, filling the air with its earthy aroma.
The maid, having finished her task of making the bed and straightening up, bid an awkward farewell to the Prince before exiting the room.
Legolas sighed, taking a seat in the chair beside the table, his ears attuned to any sounds from (Y/N)'s direction—just in case.
Nearly 45 minutes passed before she emerged from the bathroom. She was clothed in soft trousers and a loose top that hung off her shoulder, her hand pressed lightly against her abdomen.
“How do you feel?” he inquired, breaking the quietness of the night.
She turned her head towards him. “You are still here?” Her gaze swept across the room, trailing off as she took in the sight of the lit candles, crackling fire, and fresh bedding.
Abandoning the chair, he approached her and gently put his hand upon her bicep. “How is the pain, (Y/N)?”
As if suddenly drawn from her thoughts, she registered that he was indeed beside her. “I, uh, it has lessened a bit.”
He nodded, guiding her to the bed. Pulling back the clean sheets, he motioned for her to get in. Surprisingly, she complied, settling into the comfort of the fresh lavender scent emanating from the blankets and pillows.
Legolas briefly left her side before returning with a cup of tea, mixed from the healing herbs. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he lifted the cup to her lips, encouraging her to take a sip. “Drink this. It will help.”
The steam kissed her face as she took the cup from him. As she drank, the warm liquid flowed down her throat and into her stomach, providing instant comfort. When she finished, she passed the cup back to him. “How do you know how to make such a tonic?”
The Prince placed the cup upon the side table. “My father used to care for my mother during her bloodmoon cycle, before she passed from this world. She too had excruciating pain. He taught me the right herbs to mix, the benefits of heat, and—” he paused, his hand moving to her lower back, where he began to massage lightly. “—what points to press to alleviate pain.”
She exhaled slowly, letting her eyes flutter closed.
“He had said, ‘One day, you will have a wife who too suffers such pain. This you must learn for her.’ And I listened.”
(Y/N) did not open her eyes. “I am not your wife.”
Before he could stop himself, his lips betrayed his secrets. “You could be.”
At this, she opened one eye, as if she was trying to subtly evaluate what his words meant based on his body language. Sensing the sincerity upon his expression, her other eye opened too. She put her full attention on him. “What?”
His cheeks flushed, the tips of his elvish ears reddening, though the warm glow of the fire hid his embarrassment. He turned his head away. “Forgive me, (Y/N). I—I didn't mean to be so…so forward.” He hesitated, then looked back at her, seeing her flabbergasted expression. “I–I suppose there is no hiding it now. The reason I keep such close watch over you is because my heart won't let me do otherwise. I fear, well, I fear that you are not just a shadow following my path.” He exhaled softly. “(Y/N), you haunt me in the most beautiful way.”
She shifted from the pillows, drawing closer until her face was mere inches from Legolas’. “You–you care for me?” she whispered.
His hand tenderly cupped her cheek, his thumb moving in a soft motion. “More than I could ever put into words.”
“Legolas,” she whispered. “Your father did not assign me to your sector. I was supposed to be appointed to protect him. I—I requested to be assigned to you.”
The Prince’s gaze met hers. “Why, (Y/N)?”
“Because you too have been haunting me.”
Legolas wasted no time. He pressed his lips to (Y/N)’s in a gentle kiss and she responded eagerly. She tasted of herbal tea and hope, while he tasted of honey and peace. His hands gently cradled her face, while hers found their way to the back of his neck, fingers entwining in his hair. The scent of fresh lavender surrounded her, mingling with the aroma of pine that clung to him. In their embrace, their minds intertwined, both haunted by the other's presence—in the most beautiful way.
Slowly, they parted. Legolas pressed a kiss to (Y/N)'s forehead before speaking softly. "Lay down. Rest. I will watch over you."
She looked up at him. “Won't you lay with me? I am cold.”
He snorted, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips like the stem of a flower being plucked from a spring meadow. “You only want me to alleviate your pain, don't you?”
She grinned back at him. “Perhaps, Princeling. Though, I did not lie, I am cold.”
With a playful roll of his eyes, Legolas kicked off his boots and drew back the covers. He allowed his body to melt against (Y/N)’s, providing warmth as he gently began to massage away her tension.
A content sigh escaped the woman’s lips as she snuggled further into him, eagerly stealing his warmth and accepting the pain relief he offered.
“Princeling,” she murmured, “You better not breathe a word of this either.”
He chuckled lightly, “I will not say a thing, Shadowfoot. I swear it.”
…
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