#when he understands them both so deeply it hurts.....
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6lytherinn · 3 days ago
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a little fic based on this gift of sterek<3
The Hale house was tense. Even without the voices that were now raised, you could feel the thickness in the air.
It wasn't often that Stiles and Derek would fight. A mere argument here and there that usually involved snarky comments and rolled eyes, but nothing like this.
The event that was unfolding in the kitchen of the Hale house had been brewing for weeks now. It had begun as Stiles was trying to conversate with his fiancé over dinner about the idea of adoption.
It was no secret that Stiles Stilinski was ready to be a father. He and Derek had been together for 3 years now, and were planned to be married in less than 6 months.
Each time Stiles would bring up the topic, Derek would either get quiet or change the subject. The first few times this happened Stiles brushed it off, thinking maybe Derek had misheard him or not heard him at all. But after a while he seemed to understand what was happening. Derek was avoiding the conversation.
That's exactly what led them to tonight. The night was tense as soon as the couple had sat down to enjoy their takeout Derek had picked up on the way home. It was Stiles' favorite Indian food and despite being pleased to have it, he couldn't shake his grumpy mood.
He had spoken to his best friend, Scott earlier in the day about what was troubling him and Derek. Scott's advice was of course to be honest with Derek and ask him what the issue was.
‘Just ask, Stiles. C'mon this is Derek, you guys talk about everything together,’ was his advice. And he knew Scott was right. They were open books when it came to each other, and that's exactly why this was bothering Stiles so much.
“Why are you avoiding me everytime I bring up adoption?” Stiles decided to just go straight for the question. He was always blunt and right now he needed answers.
Derek closed his eyes and Stiles saw the man breathe in deeply.
“Can we please talk about this later? We're having dinner, Stiles.”
The younger man felt his blood rising, he refused to let Derek push him away again.
“No. I think we should talk about this right now, Derek.” He spoke as calm as he could but he knew Derek could sense his frustration. Even without his werewolf senses.
“Stiles, why do we need to do this right now? Can't we enjoy our dinner?” Derek refused to look up from his plate. Avoiding eye contact was a major tell that Derek was hiding something. Stiles felt tears pricking his eyes now. Why was his fiancé being so dismissive of something he felt so passionately about?
“Derek, be honest with me right now. What the hell are you trying to avoid? Fucking look at me, Derek.” Stiles was yelling by now, something he tried not to do.
Derek was angry as well. Stiles was so stubborn. He would never drop things when he set his mind to them and right now he wanted to discuss something Derek did not want to talk about. His nostrils flared as he finally looked up, both men were worked up now, the dinner in front of them completely forgotten.
“Because I don't want to fucking have kids, Stiles! You want to be a dad, I get it but I don't fucking want that. You never ask what I want, you just assume that having a family is something I want and it's not. I have you and that's enough, okay, I don't want to talk about adoption because I don't fucking want kids. God, you're so fucking stubborn it's driving me nuts.”
Derek regretted the words as soon as he spoke them, the shock and sadness that replaced the anger on Stiles face was immediate. He knew his words had hurt Stiles deeply and he didn't know what to say.
Stiles said nothing, his eyes shining with tears. He stood and without saying a word walked down the hallway and into their guest bedroom where he locked himself in and didn't come back out for the whole might.
—-
The next morning Derek awoke to his alarm. 6:30 AM, it was time for him to start the day and head to work. He hoped to find Stiles in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxers like he always did but Derek found the kitchen empty.
He didn't have but 30 minutes before he left for work, not having enough time to do anything but shower and grab a poptart from the pantry. He walked to the guest bedroom door and debated on whether he should try to talk to Stiles before work. He figured the conversation they needed to have would require more than 5 minutes so he decided to let the young man sleep as he headed out the door for work.
6 hours later Derek was stumbling through their front door, completely worn out from his day of work and ready to mend things with Stiles and tell him how sorry he was for exploding on him the night before.
Once again upon entering, Derek noticed how quiet it seemed in their home. He checked the kitchen, and then the bedroom. Both bathroom doors were ajar which meant Stiles was not in those rooms either.
Derek ran to the front door and onto their porch where he noticed for the first time Stiles' jeep wasn't there. He had been so lost in thought when arriving home that he hadn't noticed the jeep was missing. He went back to the bedroom and noticed a few of Stiles' things were also gone, including his overnight bags he had used at the beginning of their relationship when he would stay over, before Derek had asked Stiles to move in with him.
Grabbing his phone he clicked Stiles' contact and felt his heart drop as it went straight to voicemail.
“Hey, you've reached Stiles. Leave a message and maybe I'll get back to you.” Came the voice of his fiancé.
The older man rubbed his face as he thought of what to do next. Stiles has left and it was all his fault. He went too far and now Stiles was done. He would never see the boy again. Never hug him or kiss him, or tell him how much he loved him.
He quickly dialed the sheriff's number hoping that Stiles went back to his childhood home. However he was no closer to finding him after his short, and now hostile conversation with said boy's dad. Neither Scott, Lydia or even Liam had seen the man and Derek was beginning to worry even more.
He decided he'd just go drive around and look for him.
—-
After about 30 minutes of driving around aimlessly, Derek finally picked up on what he had been looking for. The sweet minty smell that belonged to none other than Stiles Stilinski himself.
He was at a coffee shop, one that he and Stiles had attended many times in their relationship. They had spent many hours here just sipping coffee and enjoying each other's company. The memories made Derek smile for a split second before he remembered why he was there in the first place.
He quickly exited his car and walked inside, he smelled the familiar scent even stronger now and it made his inner wolf relax.
Stiles smelt like home. He smelt like peace and family and happiness. He looked around the cafe and his eyes settled on the beautiful boy he called his lover. It was as if Stiles felt his eyes reach him because at the same moment he looked to his left and made eye contact.
Stiles looked miserable. His face looked as if he had been crying for hours, his complexion paler than usual. He held no traces of a smile, instead he seemed as if he had all happiness drained from him.
He looked heartbroken.
Derek held eye contact as he walked forward and settled across the table from Stiles who now refused to look at him.
“How'd you find me here?” He asked, still staring down.
“I didn't. I was driving around just looking for you, and then I smelled you.”
Stiles laughed dryly. “Of course you did. Can't get away from a werewolf, can you?”
Derek frowned slightly. Stiles was still mad.
“Stiles-” He was interrupted immediately as Stiles looked up. His eyes were red.
“Don't, Derek. I got the point last night and I'd rather not hear it again. I didn't know you felt that way and maybe it's best we leave each other alone for a bit. I wouldn't want to push you into doing things you don't want to do.” His voice was full of disappointment. Stiles began to rise from his chair and Derek grabbed his hand and tugged him back down softly.
“I do want kids with you, Stiles. I'm just scared.” He admitted.
This caught Stiles attention. His face softened and he sat down slowly.
“What are you scared of?” He whispered. “What if I can't be a good father?” It was time to confess his worries now. No reason to hold them back.
“Of course I want a family with you. That's all I want if I'm being honest. But what if I can't keep you both safe? Bad things seem to follow me Stiles, you know they do. I worry all the fucking time about keeping you safe, and the thought of failing you is hard enough. I can't imagine if I failed you and our children. I'm just so scared.” Stiles felt his heart sink as he listened to Derek’s confession. So this is what all of this avoidance had been about. He was scared.
“Derek, you are the strongest, bravest man I know. You would do anything to keep your family safe and that's how I know you will be a wonderful father. You would be such an amazing dad. Nothing would happen to me or to our family. I am here to stay forever, Derek. You will never lose me.” These words seem to break through the wall Derek had subconsciously begun to build up surrounding the topic of starting a family.
He was still terrified, but he would rather spend his life protecting Stiles and their future family than to live easily without them. He reached across the table and grabbed the others hands in his. He gave a loving smile as he spoke.
“I think I'm ready to talk about it now.” He squeezed his hand as he spoke. “What do we need to do to start the process?”
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You guys these manips are getting too good . .
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eirakairos · 3 days ago
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Rendezvous Chapter 3
Chapter summary: The girl hears her mother cry many times because of this man who is supposed to be his father. She doesn’t have much information, she just hears a lot that she looks like him. She heard stories of the ships belonging to a bad man, so she thinks her father is bad. But why would her Mama go to a man like him? Why didn't he search for them? Did he forget about them?
A/N: Apologies for the late update, I had a hectic week lol
I was thinking the child would be similar to Anya from SpyxFam in terms of being a bit mature at her age
Words: 3,334
Tags: Hurt/comfort, character death implied!, MC and Sylus' child, don't worry this is angst but with happy ending, Sylus is a girl dad hands down
You are so thankful to the wisdom of the mothers and the healers in the tribe in raising a baby girl. She is now five years old and is a rambunctious child. You are amused sometimes as she looks like a little Sylus running around and playing with other kids. But it is also a reminder that she is Sylus and your child. For five years, you didn’t hear any news about him. You had accepted that he probably moved on to his ambitions, or maybe to another woman. It hurts you deeply, but you can’t bring chaos to your life anymore, especially such violence and desolation, to your daughter’s life.
“Maybe it's a good time for you and your daughter if it is still in your consideration to return, dear,” the old woman said. “But rest assured that if you do intend to stay longer, it is alright as well,”
“Thank you,” you said. “I have heard news from the warriors that the nearby cities in the far end had been seeing large ships similar to the one you arrived in,” she said. Your eyes widened. Why is Onychinus in the far cities other than in the N109 Zone? “The warriors heard terrible stories about those ships, so we are planning to move to a farther place,” she said. “So this is the right time to decide, so the journey back won’t be much further,” Your mind is swirling in thoughts if Sylus is still the leader of Onychinus or if there is a new management. “They heard stories of the ship conquering city by city, making them do allegiance to their favor,” You know Onychinus, everything it touches will go to chaos, intentional or not. You can’t bring such things to the tribe.
“Mama, can I go with the warriors please?” her daughter approached her. You sighed, your little girl has the rebellious and mischievous trait from her father. She wanted to be a fighter and often hung out around and amazed at the trained men in the tribe. She wanted to go with them and watch them hunt food. “They are hunting and going farther today, so I can’t allow you,” you reasoned out. Your daughter pouted in response. “And no usage of Evol, you promised,” you followed. This is the dangerous part of handling her, she retaliates by using it in any form, especially when she gets hurt. Both of you discovered it when she was being teased for having a different hair color. Next thing you knew, the kid was crying because she broke his toy in a dark red mist. ‘Ugh, I carried her for nine months after a literal explosion and deserted in a field, squeezed her out of my body and looked like a spitting image of her father,’ you thought whenever you remember it.
You sat down beside her. Despite her age, your daughter has the trait of being mature and understanding, again, just like Sylus. “I want to ask you something, dear,” you said. The girl looked up to you. “Do you want to go to another place? It is much better there,” you asked. “We going now?” she asked back. As young as she is, you did tell her the general situation of things, but her appearance made her realize that she is different from the tribe. “Yes, sadly. They are going further for safety,” you said. “We would be much safer and have more access to the city,” The daughter hummed and looked at the fields, probably thinking about what to decide. “It’s okay, I’ll give you more time-” you stopped when she hugged your waist. “Okay, Mama,” she answered. You were surprised at how fast she responded and you are always grateful for having a good daughter as you hugged her in return.
“I heard the city people while trading goods… Someone important arrived in the city,” the warrior said. Your daughter is hearing their conversations as she is huddled in a basket attached to a horse. Before the warriors depart for a hunt, she sneaks in the basket while you are sleeping. “There is one ship that landed near our hunting spot, but it looked harmless. There is only one camp there but there is not much activity around it… There it is,” Your daughter peeked and saw a huge ship. It only has one illuminated bonfire beside it.
The warriors did make a camp to rest. The girl remained inside the basket, hearing the conversations. “That ship… I only saw one man going out there,” one of the warriors said. “He has the same color as hers… White-haired and has red eyes,”
“Do you think they are from the same place?” one asked. “We did find her in the same type of ship.” The little girl’s eyes widened as she knew it was her mother. Despite being very young, she was hearing a lot of things from adults that she knew she wasn’t supposed to hear.
The warriors are sleeping when she is able to get out of the basket, put her hood on her cloak on and went to the direction of the ship. The little girl is curious about the stories she has been hearing, but it all started when she accidentally eavesdropped on you and the healer talking.
“I assumed that your daughter looked more like her father,” the old woman said. You chuckled. “Yes, she is so much like her father,” you answered. “We saw a ship that looked like when you arrived here but it was going towards the city,” You were surprised by this information. “The warriors said they didn’t see any white-haired man with red eyes,” You were saddened, it's been many years but you are still longing for Sylus. “I feel you are missing him,” she said. “Oh dear, we can arrange your travel if you decide to go back,”
“I am aware of that but… She is still young,” you said. “I’m just making sure she is well for the journey,” The old woman chuckled. “Well, she has been going with the warriors a lot, so I think she would be one,” You chuckled as well in response. “Don’t underestimate children, my dear. They have huge potential despite their innocence in the world,” the old woman said.
“I just thought that… He would find us sooner or later,” you said, opening up your long-time anxieties.
“Dear, even if it takes long if he indeed loves you, he will search for you till the end of the world. Though I understand your longing,” she said. “The tribe is in a remote place, yet I’m still hoping you three would meet again,”
The girl hears her mother cry many times because of this man who is supposed to be his father. She pouted remembering it again. She doesn’t have much information, she just hears a lot that she looks like him. She heard stories of the ships belonging to a bad man, so she thinks her father is bad. But why would her Mama go to a man like him? He didn’t search for them, she heard he didn’t even know her Mama had a baby, who was her. Her mother got into the tribe because she was taken away by a ship that looked in front of her at that moment.
Why didn't he search for them? Did he forget about them?
As she hides from the distance, she can see a man being illuminated by the bonfire. She was wondering why the man was alone. Upon looking closer, the man is looking at a small item but it was too far for her to see. The man is tall, wears a cloak, has… White hair and red eyes.
In reaction, she accidentally sat down in shock, making the leaves rustle. Before she could go elsewhere, a force enveloped her, and was dragged from her hiding to the bonfire area.
Red eyes stared at her. She was enveloped in fear more. Whoever his man is, he looks mean. “Someone was being sneaky,” he said in a deep voice. Black and red mists enveloped her more, his right eye turning red. “Stop!” she yelled, mists appearing around her. The mists from the man quickly disappeared, making her fall down and instinctively scooting away from him. The man looked shocked and looked at his hand for a second before going back at her. He tried it one more time and the mist could grab her arm. She yelled and glared at him, her eyes emitting a red glow from the covered hood, black and red mists swirling around her, disabling his hold on her. Her eyes gazed at the man intently, suddenly she was hearing something while gazing into his eyes. She is hearing a familiar name and the desire to see her and their child again. Both are shocked as her powers reach the limit and quickly dissipate, stopping the voice and the mists. The man halts his either, being surprised that she can do that.
Sylus was not surprised that the mysterious little girl in front of him had the same Evol as his, he was surprised that she was fast and strong enough to use her Evol against him at her age. Sylus took reigns and used his Evol to grab her, as she seemed to have reached her limit already. “Let me go, you’re the mean man!” she exclaimed. “You are a kid sneaking up in a vast field in the middle of the night. I’m assuming you have business with me,” he spoke. “I would be the mean man if you continue to thrash… Like a hissing kitten,” he followed. Calling this kid like a kitten reminded him of you, especially when you first met him.
The girl quickly stopped but crossed her arms while being levitated. “This ship scares my tribe! Leave us alone!” she said. His eyebrow was raised before he hummed as he gently set her down. “I guess our business aligns then. Why don’t we have a deal?” Sylus said. The hooded girl looked at him. “I’m looking for someone,” he continued. “If you help me find that person I was looking for, I will leave your tribe alone, even offer protection, if you fancy,”
“No, you will just double-cross me or something, we don’t need you to protect, you bad man,” she answered. Well, smart little girl, Sylus thought. “I uphold my deals, sweetie,” Sylus said. “I might be a bad man, but I do the end of my bargain, don’t worry,”
The girl squints her eyes as if she is thinking hard. She doesn’t have much leverage in this matter. “Okay, but you have to tell me who are you looking for,” Sylus looked in the distance, he held the small item he was holding earlier. The crow brooch. “A woman,” he said. “She was in a ship that crashed here many years ago,” he then proceeded to describe that woman. Her eyes widened when he mentioned the crash but covered because of the hood. The girl thought the description he said, there is a certain longing to that and is very similar to what you look like. She snapped her thoughts as she thought she would protect you. “I might know someone,” she answered. Sylus glared. “‘Might’ is not a good retort,” he said. “I am not here to waste time,” he said as the sound of flapping wings and cawing was heard. A black bird landed on his shoulder. It cawed softly beside him and Sylus listened as if he understood him.
“Mephisto is telling me that there is a group of warriors nearby,” he said. “They are the warriors from my tribe,” the little girl said. “Okay, we will leave them be,” Sylus said. The girl was relieved somewhat to hear that. He looked at her slyly. “Let me guess, you sneaked in by them?” The little girl was surprised and looked away, making him chuckle. “They will leave in the dawn but if we follow them, they will notice,” she followed. Sylus hummed. “Don’t worry, he will fly again to see where we will be heading,” Sylus said. “Okay, but I do know how to navigate back,” the little girl said. “I’ll help to find that person you want. The elders might know that crash,” Sylus glared at her but let her be.
“So his name is Mephisto?” she asked, looking at the bird preening beside him. “Yes, I made him,” he replied. The girl was confused and looked closer, he was indeed mechanical. “Whoa… I thought he was a real bird,” Sylus smirked, basking in the compliment. He lets Mephisto roam the skies again as he flies in his order. “The winds will get stronger tonight, he shouldn't roam long,” the little girl said. Sylus looked above and felt the wind, thinking she did have a sense of survival skills. “You better rest, we have a long day of travel back. It’s not that far,” she followed and lay down, her head resting on the log. Out of nowhere, a bag was thrown at her. “What-” she said, realizing it was a sleeping bag. She looked at Sylus, who was already lying down from a distance. Her eyes squinted, making her wonder how her mother fell in love with such a man. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep from the long travel and anxious thoughts.
Sylus wakes up early and looks at the girl, who is still sleeping in the sleeping bag. He has a hunch of why she sneaked up on him last night, far deeper reasons than the tribe. As he packed up his things, he looked at the small trinket attached to his bag, it was the pouch you gave him when you were stuck with him in the grasslands. He always remembered you wherever he went, bringing something that reminded him of you. He wanted to get to the tribe fast to learn if his intel was true. He stood up and reached out to the little girl to wake up. She gasped before doing so and used her Evol to stop his hand.
The girl looked at him angrily. “Sweetie, it is only me,” he said. “I… Okay,” the girl releases his hand. “Please don’t do that. I don’t like people sneaking up on me,” she said. She doesn’t want her hood to be lowered down. “Oh, but you sneaking up on me last night was alright?” he crossed his arms but smirked. She blushed in embarrassment. “I was going to talk to you! I just don’t know the timing!” she defended. “It’s just… I don’t like someone pulling my hood down. My hair is weird,” she said. “How so?” Sylus said. “Other kids tease me of how weird it looks, so I often wear a hood,” she replied, making a half lie. She does get teased but she doesn’t care, she retaliates even. She doesn’t want him to give other ideas as they look alike. “Hmm, don’t listen to them, as far as I’m concerned, you can confront and defend yourself,” he said as he brought his bag. His statement has a hint of truth, she often does it as she wants to show them she isn’t backing down but something stops her thoughts. “That’s…” she trailed off. Sylus stopped as she pointed at the pouch. “Did… Did the person you’re looking for give that to you?” The little girl asked. Sylus didn’t respond, but the girl knew the answer. “I… I’m familiar with that pouch,” she said. “... My tribe does that,” Sylus responded with a hum. “Well, adds more reason to visit your tribe then,”
Despite the windy weather in the grasslands, Sylus and the little girl continued to travel. The two had been walking for a while now and all they could see was seemingly endless grass. The little girl looked at Sylus while they were staying for a break. He was looking a bit uncomfortable, probably due to the heat. “I didn’t know you had encountered my tribe before, they often are remote,” she said. “It was… An accidental event,” he answered. “And that person you were looking for, she gave that pouch, right?” she said. “You said it was many years ago… Do you think she is still-” she stopped as she felt the intense glare from the man. “She is important to me, far more than you imagined,” he said with a rough, pained voice as he returned his gaze to the food he was cooking. “What if somehow you meet her again?” the little girl asked, anticipating his answer. “Then, the world will be much better again,” She felt the yearning in his answer. “I will make sure she will be mine this time and… Not lose her and our child again,” he continued. The little girl internally gasped, she was surprised but masked it quickly. She felt his gaze again. “I believed they survived. It was… A challenge to find her this time,” he spoke. She felt the pain in his voice as if he had been searching for that long.
There were a lot of thoughts in the little girl’s head, especially him saying “Our child”. “You know, I was curious what the city looks like,” the little girl said. “I’ve been hearing stories, I heard it was scary,” she followed. “A bad man was going around, no one knows him but many people are scared of him,” Sylus didn’t answer but listened to her. “My mother was considering visiting and maybe staying there for good,” she said. “Maybe if you hold your end of the bargain, I can show you and your mother around,” Sylus said. “Why only your mother? Where is your father?” he casually asked. The little girl looked sad in response. “I don’t know, he probably had left us. My mother is still waiting for him to return,” He remained silent, remembering luck was not on his side since, he was still searching for the love of his life and his little one.
They continued to walk as the winds were getting stronger. The little girl looked up and saw Mephisto struggling to fly. “He should be getting down, the winds are howling but it would be temporary!” She yelled as the winds were noisy. “He would be fine, I would just repair him,” he said. She sees Sylus started to struggle in walking. The girl looked above again and saw Mephisto losing control to fly and was thrown back and falling. She ran while looking at the trajectory where the mechanical bird might fall. Sylus was surprised that she would still run for the bird. Despite struggling, she jumped to catch Mephisto, bracing for the rough fall on the grass. She opened her eyes and saw herself floating, with an energy holding around her. Looking back, she sees Sylus with his hand out, using his Evol while holding onto the grass. Mephisto cawed weakly on her hold, she fixed herself, making sure she was still hooded as Sylus brought them back to him.
They continued walking when the winds calmed down. She held Mephisto, who had his wing broken. Despite being mechanical, the little girl is still worried. “I told you, I can fix him later. He is fine,” Sylus reassured. Mephisto cawed in response and was calm under the girl’s hold as if he were grateful for catching him.
Sylus looked at the girl again, remembering the time she was running towards the bird. Her hair was white, and her eyes were red, just like his. But she looks so much like you. Her face, her powers, her personality, her past… He remembered his dreams of holding his little girl. He had the intense urge to protect her in realization, using his Evol to make sure she was safe.
“Look!” she yelled as she pointed at the distance, seeing huts and goats roaming. “We have arrived!”
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thorough-witness-enjoyer · 4 months ago
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anon because im on the wrong blog rn but i wanted to say i really enjoyed your witness analysis post. i havent really seen many comparisons about the colonisation aspect of what the witness does (though to be fair, im not really in touch with fandom). so it was nice to these themes touched on especially so eloquently !
Greetings anon!!!
Thank you so much for the kind message!! I deeply appreciate your words as the Witness is a character that is extremely close to me, quite literally being one of my favorite characters in media ever and someone who revolves in my head like a rotisserie chicken 24/7!!!
I truly believe that if you don’t see the content you desire in the world, you should go out and make it, so when I didn’t see mountains of the most bitter vitriol towards the Witness, I knew I had a job to do!
I’ve been left to pick up the pieces of the Witness’ long legacy of reducing my people and culture to what is “palatable and profitable”, my family has a prophecy (a destiny if you will) that I will form my own Witness in this life to enact an ideology and force that idea on me, I was once a precursor who raged against a silent god by abandoning my self, I’ve met many disciples of the Witness in my life and many more victims of it. This character has been so firmly tied to my life that I just had to share my perspective with the world in an attempt to make people understand just how important the lessons we can learn from it are!! I could talk about the Witness for eons!!!
There has been a lot of Witness works ( fanfiction, memes, art work, etc.) produced and a lot of it has been absolutely phenomenal work!! They are all clearly created by people who have a deep affection for the character that clearly shows in their fantastic pieces and I truly love that, but a lot of what I saw left me feeling restless because none of it (from what I’ve seen) truly tapped into the absolute nightmarish nature of what this entity has brought down on civilizations. I really wanted to bring in another voice on this character because I couldn’t be moved so deeply by its defeat and sit still on it!!
Again, if no one is making the content you would like to see, make it! That’s actually the biggest reason why I started making posts for this blog, I wanted to help others see that there is much more to talk about when it comes to the Witness than its philosophical views on reality and it’s big eyes (as well as not keeping my trillions of thoughts in my head).
To me, characters as awful as it should always have their victims struggles voiced first and foremost and the Witness is much bigger than itself for it has forced its necrotizing fingers into the lives of everyone in the Destiny universe.
The story and focus will never be on the Witness for me, it will always be on its victims and their recovery.
I think about how I struggle to find traditional names for my heritage because everyone has a name from the beliefs of our imperialists instead of the victims they forced to be remembered as necessary casualties on a path to “civilization and salvation” and I am putting the Witness through a million glass tables.
I think about how all I know of my relatives who were born not that long ago was that they were only allowed to be “field workers and strong believers “ and here comes a massive anvil over its head.
Speaking on this matter, I am still working on a small thought dump on how Rhulk is a prime example of someone who sheds their cultural and personal ties to go from victim to perpetrator and it’s been hard!!
In all honesty, it has really taken an emotional and mental toll on me for how deep it cuts and how much of it reminds me of all that could of have been in the lives of so many if they weren’t groomed into believing that the only way to get justice for their lives (lives affected by the conditions the ideological groomers use to be opportunistic) is to take on a position where they are a subjugator, not the subjugated.
It’s very painful to write about and Rhulk as a character makes the very core of my being ache as every time I read Shattered Suns, I have to sit back and clench my fists at the invasive, predatory behavior the Witness displays towards Lubraens. Those same words it coerces Rhulk with are the same ones that resulted in hollow people in my life who were prideful in turning their backs on their cultural ways and community if it meant gaining the security and sense of righteousness the oppressors offered. The Witness preyed on Rhulk and turned him into something truly awful, something I see so often that I cannot stand by and not say anything on it.
I wish to see Rhulk content that does not focus on him just being a devoted disciple of the Witness or some super strong villain who’s cool, I really want to see more content touching on what happened to make him fall so far into the Witness’ clutches and views him as the victim he is! I want to make content that shows how REPUGNANT their relationship is and how Rhulk is an example of the need to provide preventative community and understanding to those vulnerable to ideological grooming, especially in our modern era where harmful beliefs are ever present and looking to find people to sustain them!
This is getting very long, but in essence, thank you! Thank you so much anon for your words!!
I truly believe in the importance of POC voices, especially black voices, in fandom spaces as we have been left out of a lot of discussions that have heavy implicit (and explicit) ties to race and culture when it comes to sci-fi and fantasy settings! We get strength from community and understanding, it is how we can better make fandom spaces comfortable for all!! By giving my views on the Witness and its ills, I wish to help the Destiny fandom understand some of the ties it has to real life issues and hope that it helps people be more conscious of the teachings in media they invest in!
It was so nice to see people contribute to my Witness post with their own connections or point out connections other people have made like with evangelicalism and Polish fascism. I’m very glad many people can unite on the fact that the Witness is abominable and that we can face irl Witnesses by defeating ignorance hand in hand!! My understanding and beliefs are always evolving with new information and I’m always happy to grow alongside others!
Just remember guys, make the content you want to see in life and if you are a POC, voicing your discomfort or offering your perspective on matters discussed in sci-fi and fantasy settings is essential to getting proper representation in media that is done with nuance and respect as well as help both audiences and writers craft better narratives!!!
And trust me, the Witness (especially the behaviors it displays towards Rhulk and it’s other victims) makes me deeply, deeply,
deeply
deeply
Uncomfortable.
I will never forgive the Witness for all it has done and I never want to see it pleased with its work EVER. The only redeeming I want to hear about the Witness is how it can redeem this coupon for my fist in its face, free of charge, guaranteed by me, filled with the force of all my relatives who did not live long enough to see that they could have always mattered in this world.
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sysig · 8 months ago
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Special Counseling (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#These are especially funny to me because I remember when I first looked through the gallery and was Deeply Distressed at ZEX like this#I didn't know the context yet so the betrayal was uncomfortable! As intended but unexpected haha ♪#I love ZEX! Why would he do such a thing! Now I know <3 <3 And now I'm doing the same thing! Lol#The thought of ZEX never getting his own body again even for just a night even on the Institute's side ah it hurts#At least he'd finally have visual proof that it's Possible he never even saw Tanaka so for all he knows it was just another ''vision''#But of DAX <3 Of him getting his body back but turning on ZEX about it ough ♥ And the fallout!! Agh!!!#The setups the payoffs <3 <3 <3#I wrote a bit more for both scenarios actually - of DAX actually pointing a laser pistol at ZEX and threatening to kill him#Thus why ZEX is questioning him the next day - was that brainwashing or would you really do that??#ZEX of course wouldn't have flinched at the time - and DAX's motivation either way that this is a fate unbefitting of his Admiral#''He lowered his head feelers in a sympathetic way. 'I can hardly stand to watch you waste away in that form. If you would ask it of me...''#Weh ;;#Can you tell it's a bit inspired by We Do What is Necessary hehe <3#Which btw you've read right it's so good everyone needs to read it <3#Remind me to make a separate post about that one actually I had the oddest reread experience :3c Fascinating ✨#Anyhow lol#I actually like how I've written their next-day meetup after DAX returns to his senses more than I've drawn it hm :P#I think it's a specific line that sticks out to me - VUX communication through human bodies my beloved ;;♥#''He ran a hand down DAX's arm - a poor approximation of the gesture he was trying to emulate but he was sure DAX would understand.#They'd exchanged it enough times before.'' Hhhhhh ❤️💕💖💞💗 ;;/♥ I love them <3 <3#Also forehead touches and holding face and hands and jfdsalkfd the tenderness and loyalty aghhahgah <3#I really like the idea of VUX lacing fingers with each other as a kind of twining/head tendrils holding replacement ♥#The most intense one-eyed eye contact hehe <3
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slitheringghost · 1 year ago
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“If there was one place that was really important to You-Know-Who, it was Hogwarts!” “Oh, come on,” scoffed Ron. “His school?” “Yeah, his school! It was his first real home, the place that meant he was special; it meant everything to him, and even after he left —” “This is You-Know-Who we’re talking about, right? Not you?” inquired Ron. He was tugging at the chain of the Horcrux around his neck: Harry was visited by a desire to seize it and throttle him. (DH)
Thinking about Bellatrix using Voldemort's affection for her and hunger for Home and Family to manipulate him when he threatens her sister, and Harry understanding the exact same thing about him and using it to find horcruxes (Harry is of course right; and even after he left, it remains "the beloved castle, his first kingdom, his birthright"). And Voldemort giving both of them the same exact Look in that book.
This confirms LV confided stuff about his family to Bellatrix (could also been told info via the Blacks), which you expect given their relationship. Harry taunts her, "Did you know he's a half-blood too?" - but Bellatrix does know, and she uses the same language of the Pureblood Family(TM) that LV recreates in the DEs and recognizes LV's craving for, specifically, that pureblood familial institution that he never had and that effectively disowned him. And:
“I don’t know whether he was ever inside Gringotts,” said Harry. “He never had gold there when he was younger, because nobody left him anything. He would have seen the bank from the outside, though, the first time he ever went to Diagon Alley.” Harry’s scar throbbed, but he ignored it; he wanted Ron and Hermione to understand about Gringotts before they spoke to Ollivander. “I think he would have envied anyone who had a key to a Gringotts vault. I think he’d have seen it as a real symbol of belonging to the Wizarding world. And don’t forget, he trusted Bellatrix and her husband. They were his most devoted servants before he fell, and they went looking for him after he vanished. He said it the night he came back, I heard him.” (DH)
There's similar identification, as Harry himself had no money or possessions before entering the magical world and finding belonging - but also understands Tom's lack of social status and fortune compared to his own later, and to an extent understands how belonging can be intrinsically tied to power institutions for a powerless orphan (he also vaguely recognizes LV's attachment to his followers; not sure all of Harry's conclusions are correct, but the gist of his perception is).
And then, Dumbledore, who understands him less (and dehumanizes him more) than the other two:
"[...] Voldemort was, I believe, more attached to this school than he has ever been to a person. Hogwarts was where he had been happiest; the first and only place he had felt at home." Harry felt slightly uncomfortable at these words, for this was exactly how he felt about Hogwarts too. (HBP) "How did you know that was there?" Harry asked in astonishment. "Magic always leaves traces," said Dumbledore, as the boat hit the bank with a gentle bump, "sometimes very distinctive traces. I taught Tom Riddle. I know his style." (HBP)
Given LV recreated the traditional first-year boatride across the lake in the cave, potentially Dumbledore guessed the concealed boat was there because he knows Tom's attachment to the school (but I doubt he recognized the connection to Merope).
Voldemort paid no attention. “I have nothing more to say to you, Potter,” he said quietly. “You have irked me too often, for too long. AVADA KEDAVRA!” (The Only One He Ever Feared, OOTP)
Voldemort stood up. He looked less like Tom Riddle than ever, his features thick with rage. “This is your final word?” “It is,” said Dumbledore, also standing. “Then we have nothing more to say to each other.” “No, nothing,” said Dumbledore, and a great sadness filled his face. “The time is long gone when I could frighten you with a burning wardrobe and force you to make repayment for your crimes. But I wish I could, Tom…. I wish I could….” For a second, Harry was on the verge of shouting a pointless warning: He was sure that Voldemort’s hand had twitched toward his pocket and his wand; but then the moment had passed, Voldemort had turned away, the door was closing, and he was gone. (Lord Voldemort's Request, HBP)
--- --- ---
“My Lord,” said a dark woman halfway down the table, her voice constricted with emotion, “it is an honor to have you here, in our family’s house. There can be no higher pleasure.” [...] where Narcissa sat rigid and impassive, Bellatrix leaned toward Voldemort, for mere words could not demonstrate her longing for closeness. “No higher pleasure,” repeated Voldemort, his head tilted a little to one side as he considered Bellatrix. “That means a great deal, Bellatrix, from you.” Her face flooded with color; her eyes welled with tears of delight. “My Lord knows I speak nothing but the truth!” (The Dark Lord Ascending, DH)
And still, Voldemort and Harry looked at each other, and now Voldemort tilted his head a little to the side, considering the boy standing before him, and a singularly mirthless smile curled the lipless mouth. “Harry Potter,” he said very softly. His voice might have been part of the spitting fire. “The Boy Who Lived.” [...] Voldemort had raised his wand. His head was still tilted to one side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. Harry looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now [...] (The Forest Again, DH)
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dunmesh · 6 months ago
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okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.
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and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.
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i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?
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and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.
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and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.
so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?
but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.
it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.
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snoopyearss · 8 months ago
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
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Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.��� was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.” You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
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champagnefountains · 10 months ago
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LUCIFER MAGNE - H.H.
Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.
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Genre: Angst and hurt; somewhat fluffy (but only for a brief while). Warnings: Swearing. Unhealthy relationship/coping mechanisms (?). Word count: 2.2k+
Lucifer had been courting you for a couple of months already, the King of Hell finally deciding it was time to make the two of you official. The tension was so incredibly thick, that even the hotel’s patrons were growing sick of having to watch the two of you dance aimlessly around each other. Charlie included. 
The past couple of months were more than delightful – Lucifer treated you like a Queen, taking you out almost every other night, having nice candle-lit dinners, and dancing the night away. And if you weren’t really feeling the glamour, the both of you would stay cuddled up against one another whilst watching some cliche rom-com. It was like a dream. It was perfect…well, almost. 
The very source of your concerns was the golden band that remained in Lucifer’s ring-finger. 
You knew about the heart-break and torment that Lucifer underwent following his separation with Lilith. Understandably, having been together for many decades and centuries, the King had a difficult time trying to move on. Even in the earlier stages of your relationship, when he had been comfortable confiding in you, it was evident that he still deeply cared for Lilith, despite her absence. 
You tried to be understanding – you really, really did. But every time you held his hand, the cold metal feeling against your fingers set a painful reminder that maybe he still hasn’t moved on completely. 
It filled you to the brim with self-doubt. Perhaps he was just keeping you around just to fill in the void she had left. And if that were the case, were you even doing a good enough job in that? Hypothetically, if Lilith were to waltz in front of the hotel’s doors one day, was he going to throw you off to the side and run away with her? What if he’d grow bored of you all of a sudden?
Questions such as these would linger at the back of your head constantly, and as they did, you would cast a longing gaze in his direction. When he catches your eye, he would automatically send a smile your way, pearly-whites in full display. It would make you smile without fail, because how could it not? You loved that dashing smile of his. But everyday, you wondered if you could continue to maintain that smile in your life. 
One night in particular, during dinner at one of Hell’s finest establishments, Lucifer noticed that something was off. Your smile hasn’t been reaching your eyes, and you seemed like you were anywhere but here. Your eyes had a distant look to them and whenever he’d ask if something was wrong, you would become dismissive. It concerned him a lot. 
“Darling, are you alright?” Lucifer carefully asked once you both made it to the front porch of the hotel. “Was it the food? Was it not to your liking? Because the chicken was a bit off to be honest, it could’ve been a bit more seasoned–” 
“Luci,” you intervened and grabbed his hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “The food was great, really. It’s just…” As your voice trailed off, you were quick to feel that damn ring around his finger. Because, of course you did, and it didn’t help your mood at all. You force out a huff and pull away, causing the demon’s frown to deepen, “I’m feeling a little under the weather tonight – probably just lacking a bit of sleep.” 
Lucifer scanned your face all over, his brows furrowed in worry. “Well…I guess you have been working harder for the hotel recently.” There had been some truth in that – after all, there had been an influx of sinners in the hotel since the cancellation of this year’s extermination. But he didn’t seem to stop there, not fully convinced by your reasoning, “...But are you sure that’s all, my dear?” 
You looked at him, surprised, as if suddenly caught red-handed. He was quick to pick up on that too, confirming his suspicions and making him all the more nervous.
 “What are you trying to say?” You ask. 
“Well, i-it’s just that I noticed that you’ve been acting a bit off recently,” he splutters. “And not only tonight. You’ve become a bit more…I don’t know, distant with me. And it worries me, y’know? I just…I really, really care about you. A lot.” He almost looks defeated as he rubs anxiously at his nape, “And if I’m being honest, it scares the absolute shit out of me that what I’m doing now isn't right."
Your brows crease in confusion, “...What are you talking about?” 
Lucifer closed his eyes, dragging a palm against his face as an exaggerated groan leaves his lips. “Look, I’m not exactly experienced with all…all this – the one woman I’ve ever been in a committed relationship with left me. Just like that!” He lets out a humourless snort. “A-And I don’t know what I did to make her leave and I for sure don’t want to make that same mistake again. I…I want to be assured that I’m making you happy.” 
Lucifer looks up at you, eyes filled with warmth, as he places a gentle hand against your cheek. He breaks the distance between you to press his forehead against yours. You automatically lean against him out of habit. “I don’t want to lose you. And if I’m doing something wrong, tell me. Please, don’t shut me out.” He pleads, his voice almost falling into a whisper. The unexpected confession left you speechless, your chest feeling all the more tight. It was making you feel worse than you already did. 
You let out a shaky sigh, trying to keep the pending tears at bay. “Luci, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…I-I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Trust me when I say that you’ve been nothing more than a gentleman, and every moment we’ve spent together has been magical. I appreciate you so, so much, and I could never, ever ask for anything more.” 
You shut your eyes tight, shame filling your very core. “I’m just being a little silly–”
“No, no. Don’t say that, darling. Please tell me what’s going on. It’s okay,” Lucifer encourages softly, his thumb rubbing reassuringly against your cheek. 
You grab his wrist and gently pull your face away from him. With the hand on his arm, you slide it down to grab at his own, bringing it up into view and in-between the both of you. Almost instantaneously, both your eyes lie on the golden band on his finger – to Lucifer, it suddenly clicks. But he couldn’t help but feel an internal conflict brew within him. 
“I-I know how much that ring and Lilith means to you. I really do and I feel awful having to feel this way, but I just…I can’t help it,” you mutter, finally allowing the first couple of tears to fall, “I-I often find myself counting the days and hours when you’ll suddenly realise that I will never be good enough for you. It feels like I’m constantly having to compete with her–heck, what am I even saying? I know I’ll never be able to compete – because, I mean, come on. I'm a nobody!” You chuckle tearfully whilst gesturing to yourself with a free hand.
“And I don’t think I’ll ever understand how you’d ever settle for someone like me. I’m not nearly as important, nor am I the best-looking demon out there. I’m just me.”
“But Lucifer, whenever I’m with you, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I smile more. Laugh more. I even enjoy the little things more. And I don’t want that to go away. And I’m just hoping– Satan, I’m fucking hoping that it’s the same for you. And if it is, then how long is that going to last with me?” 
Completely shocked, Lucifer watched in silence as his love sobbed their heart out in front of him. He wanted nothing more than to go and wrap you in his warm embrace, and whisper reassurances and hush down your cries. Because, you were right – you did make him happy. So unbelievably happy. You had been the light that casted away the shadows in his darkest times. And yet, why? Why did he remain where he stood, unmoving as tears pathetically poured from his eyes? Why wasn’t he saying anything?
There was a brief, stagnant moment of contemplation where the both of you just stood there. It was the realisation that Lucifer didn’t make any effort to formulate some form of response, that disappointed you even further. It only made the doubtful voice in your head louder. 
It was you who ultimately decided to make the first move, wiping tiredly at your reddened face as you glanced at the hotel’s door. “I’ll be heading off first. I’ll be in the guest room tonight – it’s been a long day,” you raspily say, hiccuping as you pushed through the doors and disappeared into the hotel, leaving Lucifer alone outside. 
As you entered the hotel, you immediately noticed Husk’s presence by the bar, who had been polishing some glasses by the counter. In front of him was Angel, who was making some sweet, small talk with him. They were both alerted by your entrance as the doors flew open, and as Angel was about to greet you in his usual playful fashion, his voice fell flat when he saw the depressed state you were in. 
“Woah, there. What the hell happened to you? You look like shit,” Angel asked, standing to meet you half-way, “I thought you and Short-King were out on a date. Did something happen?” 
“We were but we had a fight or something,” you tiredly shrugged as you walked past the arachnid and plopped yourself down on one of the bar stools. You swirled yourself on the seat to face Husk. “Give me the strongest shit you have. And make it double,” you waved absently at the feline-demon, who raised an incredulous brow at your bluntness. “Damn, it must be that serious considering you don’t even drink,” he grumbles as he turns to start brewing a glass of something, “...do you wanna talk about it?"
You contemplated his offer for a second and realised that you did. For the next five or so minutes, you ended up recounting everything that happened earlier tonight, all the while shedding even more tears. Angel was kind enough to supply you with a mountain of tissues to cry into.
“Well, it sounds to me that your man’s got a whole lot of thinking to do,” Husk clicks his tongue. “But what you’re feeling is completely valid.” “Yeah, who the fuck wears their ol’ wedding ring while dating someone else? What an asshole,” Angel hisses. 
“S-So you guys think there’s a possibility that he might consider ending things with me?” You question dejectedly. Husk and Angel share a look of uncertainty, suddenly feeling the need to be careful of their words. Because they genuinely weren’t sure.
“I–Look, that’s not something we should be focusing on at the moment– I mean, of course, let’s hope that that’s not where this is going. I just think he needs some space to think things through properly,” Husk says. 
“And I know I was talking a whole lot of shit before but let’s take the benefit of the doubt and look at things from his point of view. He was in that boat for more than a couple thousand years. And shit, that’s a lot of fucking years.” Angel points out. “It might take him a while longer to adjust to that, y’know?” Angel places a hand on your shoulder, grinning at you reassuringly, “But there’s one thing for sure that myself and everyone else knows: the guy loves yah, toots. Anyone with eyes can see it, and you guys are really fucking disgusting about it too–ow!” 
Angel suddenly lunges forward against the counter as one of Husk’s wings swipes down to slap the back of his head. “‘The fuck was that for?! It’s true, ain’t it?!” Husk rolled his eyes at his dramatics, before turning back to you. “He’s right, though. Just…just give him a bit more time. I’m sure in the end, the both of you will be fine.” 
Meanwhile, Lucifer decided to head back to his own castle, wanting to be alone to sort through his cluttered thoughts. He was beyond upset with himself for making you cry like that, because it was the last thing he wanted. But he was more upset at the fact that he didn’t know how to navigate through his emotions, despising that he found himself second guessing his feelings. 
As you explicitly implied, was he really still unconsciously longing for Lilith? Was that why he kept wearing his ring? Why was he still wearing it? Was it just for his own comfort? But why would he need it anyways? You were there, weren’t you? All he had said to you tonight, he was contradicting himself, wasn’t he? Perhaps he’s scared. Maybe he isn’t ready yet. But, why would he be with you if he didn’t think so? What exactly were you to him? And what exactly was Lilith to him now?
Lucifer was a complete mess, and that night he couldn’t find a single blink of sleep as these thoughts plagued him. And neither could you, as you scrutinised every aspect of your relationship, thinking of what this could mean for the both of you, moving forward.
Yeah…perhaps you both needed some time. 
Chapter II [x]
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tbaluver · 4 months ago
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I feel like you’re the perfect author to get this done!! I was wondering if you could do the l&ds boys and their reactions to you crying during sex? Not because you’re upset but either from a genuine love for them or overwhelming feelings and sensations. I love your work so so much!!! <333
When You Cry During Sex- The Love And DeepSpace Men
genre/warning: smut included MDNI, comfort and some fluff
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader
a/n: hihi anonnie!! im so so happy to hear you love my work! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡ i hope this is alright and that you'll enjoy this !!
any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier:
He gazes down at you with a look that combined lust and adoration, one hand reaching to gently cradle your cheek. He sinks into you so slowly as his hands roam free. He lowers his head down where his lips kiss at your neck. He pants and gasps against you, thrusting inside of you deeply. It's the way he took his time with you to give you what you want. Your bodies connected, souls intertwined. He was always so tender and affectionate with you that you didn't even notice the tears racing down your cheeks. Oh how you loved this man so deeply.
He would be SO worried. He would be internally panicking the moment he saw your tears. He'd slowly stop his pace and start asking multiple questions if you were uncomfortable or in any pain while wiping your tears away. He'd also ask if you'd want to stop but you'd cut him off and say no because that's the last thing you want and you were so so close to your climax.
He'd relax to hear you were okay while wiping any extra tears that ran down and replacing each tear with a kiss. You'd apologize for crying but he truly does not care because he insist that he will always be there for you and to wipe any of your tears away. He'd continue his pace to reach your climax and to meet his own.
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Zayne:
With his perfectly angled thrusts, you can already feel the intense pleasure building inside of you. Your fingers fist his hair, gripping and pulling at the strands while he thrusts himself into you. An elongated groan strings from his lips as you tug his hair, his head tilting back with your pull, mouth agape while sighs escape him. His eyes peer down, continuing to stay locked on you.
He was so deep inside you, his cock twitching at the sight of his tip pushing slightly against the skin of your lower belly. The way his long fingers curling tighter into your hips to fuck you even harder. The way the man you love always made you feel so so good. He was also so affectionate and prioritized you first even to make you feel so good.
The pleasure coursed through your body with every quick and deep pump of his cock that you didn't even realize the tears tracing down your cheeks.
He would freeze, literally
His pacing would stop, immediately asking you multiple questions of "Are you hurt?" "Would you like me stop?" while he cups your cheeks and wipes your tears.
When you reassured him and explained what happened he was patient and relaxed to hear you were okay. He would always be understanding and sweet. He would draw you in closer, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head before gently pressing another kiss on your lips. It wouldn't take long for you both to get back to where you were and help finish you off.
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Rafayel:
Rafayel liked having you on top of him because he can see you bouncing on top of him with your tips going up and down and seeing your face contorting with pleasure every time he reached a little deeper inside you. You work on his cock as your hands roam around his sculpted chest. Both of your grunts and moans echoed in the room as you fastened the pace. You were so close to your orgasm as your movement began to get sloppy. You were desperately chasing your high that you were unaware of the tears quietly sliding down your face.
The tears running down your face made Rafayel panic. He'd stop completely and sit up as he wipes the tears staining your cheeks while babbling "Are you okay?" and "I'm so so sorry." He would get cut off mid sentence when you'd whine and beg to let you continue while pulling him closer so he'd understand.
He would smirk understanding what those tears meant and let you continue back to work. But this time he would take control and grab your hips bringing you up and down, slowing your pace to tease you. "Tell me how much you love bouncing on my cock pretty girl."
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Sylus:
Watching your face contort into pleasure was one of his favorite things. He starts thrusting faster, rougher than before, his own sounds of pleasure mixed with yours bounced off the bedroom walls. You whine from the sensation as his places his lips onto yours to soothe you, to comfort you.
Sylus was always so warm and big inside of you. The way your tight hole was fluttering around his girth made you see stars. You don't remember how many times you came on his cock as he rutted against you. Your legs were wide open as his cock was pumping in and out of you in such a fast motion that you didn't even realize tears are leaking from your eyes.
He refused to always take his eyes off you. He's always an observant partner so when he saw the tears run down your cheeks, he would slow down. His voice would be so gentle and ask if you were in any pain and if you would like to stop completely. When he heard you whine to go continue, he would pick up the original pace and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.
"Am I making you feel that good baby? Do you want more?" While kissing the back side of your knuckles or down your neck to your collarbone.
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1lovepeace · 7 months ago
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I genuinely agree with your take. It's true that the trauma Rayla experienced doesn't excuse her actions, but it deeply explains the reasoning behind it. And in a way, you see Amaya soften up after seeing herself in Rayla in terms of being stoic, strong, and lonely in handing things alone. She's opened up more. Callum refuses to let Rayla push him away, that everything they do and face, they do it together, accepting his help and leaning on him for support. Little by little, she's growing and maturing, and I'm proud of her. There's still a long way to go for her, but she will get there.
With all the time that all four of Rayla's parents have spent self-reflecting, whether in the coins or while being alone and self-isolated from the community over the last two years, I sincerely hope that it can transition to all five of them reconciling, healing and repairing their broken, fractured family. No doubt that all 4 of her parents are incredibly scarred, haunted, devastated, and extremely hurt by the failures and negligence committed. Imagine the uncontrollable, horrifying nightmares they must be having of Rayla, being tormented by her memory every night. Their hurt, pain, heartbreak, emotional/psychological torture, and suffering are perhaps far worse than we imagined. I wouldn't even know where to begin with addressing Moonfam's family issues. But they deserve to have their family again after all they've been through.
But Rayla also has a right to feel and express her anger, resentment, disdain, animosity, and even her rage towards all four of her parents for what they put her through. Let her say what she needs to say. Let Rayla be angry and messy.
Seeing people crap on arc two Rayla genuinely makes me sad. I don't think many people truly realize the depth of Rayla's isolation. What happened to all the characters in arc one was horrible (I am not down playing that), Callum and Ezran lost their father, and Soren lost his family, but they all had Katolis to go back to. Their home. Rayla lost EVERYTHING. She lost the assassins who she grew up with and trained her, she lost her home, and worst of all she lost her parents. She lost Runaan and Ethari in one go, only months after her parents. And all she had to remember them by was what they taught her. And they taught her self sacrifice, they taught her to do questionable things in the name of protection and the greater good. Viren threatened everything she loved which WAS Callum and Ezran, and she thought he was still alive. She was stuck in fight or flight mode, she was bathed in trauma. And she had a point in TTM, everyone was just moving on, and didn't take or let her have anytime to truly grieve. She was in such a dark place in TTM and it influenced her decisions. She knows she did something wrong, she knows she hurt Callum. She hasn't brought herself to apologize yet, but why did we stop treating her as human? (Or elf, as it were)
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Also hi, I've recently been liberated from TDP reddit
#he gets it better than anyone. and i fully believe that him knowing that is part of why he did eventually accept her back and fight so hard#understands the hardships rayla has endured with her family and society as well as callum does. callum was actually there to see part of it#for her and defend her once he healed some. i feel like some people who comment on the bond between rayla and callum in s5 being too nice#too quick or whatever may not have the most healthy relationship with some people theyre close to irl. i know thats making a big assumption#but when you truly love and care about someone and are mature enough you understand when its important to accept them back in after theyve#hurt you. it is NOT always appropriate to do so. some people are too toxic to do that with and theyll just hurt you more. but sometimes#thats not the case. sometimes you understand that person deeply and love them as a person so much that you accept them back. which helps#with healing for both of you. again. not always applicable. definitely have to weigh the options on if its worth it to still keep that#person around for your own mental health and stuff. but for these two. it is worth it. especially cuz they both know they have flaws as#their own people but still see it worth it to love each other anyway. its sweet. and i guess some people just cant accept that.#(and are also the kind of people that will probably just hate a lot of women characters anyway no matter what they do)#ive kinda lost the plot here. which im good at doing. but yeah. no one understands rayla as deeply as callum and ez do. and callum even#moreso than ez. he especially knows and understands what is tormenting her. which some toxic people who watch the show dont seem to#understand. also id like to add- the trauma that has happened to rayla does not EXCUSE her actions. what she did was still bad. but her#trauma does EXPLAIN her actions. those are 2 distinct things that once realized can help with recover and growth imo. and i feel like#callum knows that to at least some extent#imo more people need to understand the concept of 'this doesnt EXCUSE their actions but does EXPLAIN them' because it really is good to#remember for irl stuff. for both themselves and other people. its a concept i do not think a lot of toxic people grasp.#in any fandom and irl#im rambling so so bad rn im real sorry#< i hear you. no worries. i completely understand.#you bring up a lot of valid fair points#appreciate your take on it#apologies for my rambling as well#the dragon prince
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mrsbarnesblog · 5 months ago
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I feel like when reader gets fed up with Rafe not making a move, she tries to go on a date with someone else and it makes him realize that he has to act if doesn’t want to be left with just “baby daddy” label. loved your story
masterlist ko-fi ao3
requests are open
summary: when you have a baby with your ex-friend with benefits, he realizes that he has to talk about your feelings if doesn't want to lose you (can be read as a standalone, but is part two of this fic)
word count: 1.1k.
warnings: ex fwb, baby daddy Rafe, he's really soft and cutesy (i can't help myself, sorry)
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Raising a baby with you felt easy. It felt safe and stable because it seeming like you worked perfectly together, never having serious fights and always easily understanding each other. Rafe adored both of you and he was happier than he ever was, even if he was constantly tired from sleepless nights. 
Every time Rafe looked at you holding your daughter, smiling and particularly shining in your post-pregnancy bliss, he felt his heart flattering. You were his. The mother of his daughter, his friend, his family, his girl. 
Then, when you unexpectedly mentioned to him that someone had asked you out, things went south. 
You both hated every second of what was likely your first serious argument, but you were unable to contain your emotions when the situation deeply hurt both of you. 
“I don’t know what you want from me, Rafe! I don’t know what you expect from me when the only thing that I know for certain is that I am the mother of your child!” You screamed at him, blinking away your tears. 
“Don’t say that. You know what I want from you, and I can’t let you go out on dates with some random dudes, Y/N. Like, you have to be joking. We just had a baby, for fuck’s sake!” His hands flew to his hair as he started walking back and forth in the middle of his living room. 
“As far as I’m aware, I’m single, Rafe.” You said it bitterly, bringing your legs closer to your chest and wrapping your hands around them. You wanted to hide because it felt to heavy to be talking about it, especially when you never desired anything more than to be appreciated and loved by the man in front of you.
“So this means nothing to you?” 
“It was not what I said.”
“You said you’re single.” 
“Am I not?” You whispered. “You were horny and had a baby with me. Just admit it.” 
You were looking at each other with emotions and unsaid feelings on the tips of your tongues. It hurt you to say it; it hurt you to realize how easy it was to end everything here and face the reality that you were no one to each other. Tears flooded your vision and you looked down, defeated. 
“I’m sorry.” Rafe whispered back, as the panic started to settle in him. “I’m so so sorry, Y/N. It has never been my intention to make you feel this way, but I promise that you’re much more for me.” He came closer to you, kneeling in front of your shivering body. “Even if it was casual sex at that time, I would've never signed up for a baby with someone who I felt nothing for.” 
His hands reached for your legs, setting them down on the floor and instead moving closer to you. Rafe touched your face, making you look at him through wet eyelashes and you noticed a longing, almost pleading, look in his eyes. 
“I love you. I love you and our little girl, and I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want you. I need you because you’re my best girl—the prettiest, sexiest, most brilliant woman I’ve ever met. I was too dumb to not do it earlier, but I want to have it all with you. I want you both here all the time, with me. You are my family. ”
He left you completely speechless, making you sob harder and lean into his chest, leaving wet stains all over his shirt. You didn't know how you could live in denial for that long, but you realized how desperately you craved to hear these words. How desperately you tried to convince yourself to stick with what you had when the only thing you ever wanted was him.
“Sh-h, baby…” He soothed your hair, holding you closer and allowing you to let go of your emotions. Rafe hated how oblivious he was to your feeling this whole time. Seeing you break down hurt him more than he could imagine and he knew he would do anything to never see that look in your eyes again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, mama. I love you.”
“I l-love you t-too.” You hiccuped, leaning back and wiping your face. Rafe’s eyes stayed on yours when he slowly traced with his thumb your slightly swollen bottom lip and then moved closer. 
He kissed you slowly, passionately, gently biting your lip, as if he were claiming you again and you felt that familiar sparkle in your body that appeared whenever he was touching you so gently. You brought your hands to his shoulders to feel his body closer to yours and he obliged, slightly hovering over you.
Soft crying from the bassinet interrupted you, and before you could even begin to worry about your daughter, Rafe had already pulled away, but not before giving you that promising look and moving in her direction. 
“Hi, pretty girl.” He cooed, taking her in his arms and lifting her up in the air. She looked so tiny compared to him and you felt another wave of tears coming in. “Sh-h, it’s okay. Are you hungry or did you just want someone to hold you, hm?” Rafe placed her on the crock of his arm and started swaying from side to side. Her cries slowly calmed down, as she was looking up at him with big blue eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
“You’re so natural with her, i’m kind of jealous.” You laughed, wiping the leftovers of your tears. Rafe smiled back at you and sat down near you on the couch, wrapping his free hand around your shoulders to bring you closer. 
“Not as good as you. You’re an amazing mom. We love mommy so much, right, princess?” He tickled your daughter's belly and she giggled, looking between both of you happily. “I meant it when I said it, Y/N. I want you to move in. I want to have you both with me 24/7, because I cannot do it like this anymore.” Rafe almost begged, turning his head in your direction. Your eyes searched for his and the look that you saw there made your heart flutter. 
The thing about Rafe was that he was bad at expressing his feelings, but his eyes always showed you what you wanted to know. And now, when there was nothing but pure love and admiration, you knew that it was true. 
“Okay. I want it too.” You smiled, peacefully resting your head against Rafe’s shoulder, as the worry inside of you finally calmed down.
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intromortal · 6 months ago
Text
DISTRACTION
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you find out Heeseung cheated on you, but thankfully your two best friends are there to console you.
PAIRING jay x f!reader x sunghoon
CONTENT ⚠︎ smut. mdni. cheating, best friends to ?
WORD COUNT 5.4k
a/n: if this sounds familiar it's because it's an old fic that was originally divided into two parts! since i was not happy with it, this is the edited version. both parts together and with some changes💗
WARNINGS threesome, oral (f!receiving), no protection, creampie, a little mxm never hurt anybody, name calling (slut, whore), praise, degradation, exhibitionism and voyeurism (?), choking, bondage, two dicks in one hole yessir, squirting, cum eating, snowballing, sunghoon is sneaky, i think that's all
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Jay peered through the crack of the door, one leg still not entirely in the pyjama shorts he grabbed off the floor when he stumbled through his apartment to find out who the hell was knocking so damn hard at three in the morning.
He felt his breath knocked out of his lungs when he found you standing on the old ragged mat citing ‘welcome-ish, depends who you are, and how long you stay’ that Jake had gifted them when he and Sunghoon moved, tears silently streaming down your pretty face.
He swung the door open and engulfed you in his arms when he noticed you shivering like a leaf. He walked you over to the couch, sobs starting to shake your body despite the comforting weight of his hands on your shoulders.
Sunghoon rushed in not long after, eyes puffy and hair all messy from sleep. He recognized your sobs as he walked into the room, his heart shattering with each sound. It had become a recurrence ever since you started to date Heeseung, one they both insisted was not a burden every time you felt bad about taking time off their day because of your fights with your moody boyfriend.
Despite it happening so often, Sunghoon never got used to seeing you hurt.
“What did he do this time?” Jay seethed.
Jay loved Heeseung like he would love a brother, but he did not think he could go on seeing him hurt you like this time and time again. You always put him on a pedestal, forgiving any harsh word he uttered, claiming he was a completely different person when not mad at you. He could not figure out why you didn’t seem to understand that you deserved nothing but sweet words, regardless of Heeseung’s emotional state.
You tried to speak through your sniffles, slowly calming down as Sunghoon drew soothing circles on your back with his warm hand under your shirt, raising goosebumps all over your skin.
“Take your time princess”, he muttered, his breath slowing to coax you into mimicking it, helping you calm down. “There we go.”
You sighed deeply one more time before gathering the courage to speak, doing anything to avoid your best friends’ worried gazes.
“I caught him cheating.”
The room felt unnaturally silent, their movements on your skin also stopping as they processed your words.
“I’m gonna actually fucking kill him this time Hoon,” Jay gritted through his teeth, his blood loud in his ears.
Your head shot to the other man, finding him with a deep-set frown on his face. He intertwined your fingers with his and gently caressed your hand with his thumb, not uttering a word.
Not that you needed it, his touch was always enough comfort for you. Both him and Jay your safe space.
“Wanna talk about it?” Jay asked, pushing any violent thought in his mind for later. You needed him there with you, and he would not let you down.
You shook your head, tears drying against your lashes and making them appear longer as you looked up to him pleadingly. “Just wanna forget about him."
Your back was propped against Jay’s defined chest as he sloppily trailed wet kisses down your neck, his fingers playing with one of your nipples while Sunghoon’s lips were wrapped around the other one, his fingers grazing your poor hole teasingly once more.
You had lost count of how many times Sunghoon had you coming on his fingers. He insisted you needed all of the prep you could take for what was about to come, the dangerous promise making you clench around his digits.
“Please just put it in,” you keened. Not that you didn’t enjoy being fucked open by Sunghoon’s fingers, but the thought of how delicious their cocks must feel inside you had you begging for more anyway. “I’m ready, please.”
Sunghoon cooed mockingly at your state, “Our baby says she’s ready Jay, what do you think?”
The silver-haired male just chuckled and grabbed his cock, adjusting it over your pussy from behind. You wailed, head thrown back against his chest when his red tip caught on your abused clit, the movements of his hips tortuous as he ground his member between your folds.
Sunghoon sprung into action and grabbed his friend's member, slapping it over your pussy multiple times, ripping out little pleasured whines from you. Jay was also affected, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he hissed at the feeling of his friend’s touch.
Sunghoon brought his hand to your mouth, his brows quirked up in silent request, you caught on immediately and spat in his palm. He used the wetness to jerk off Jay a few times, the latter letting a guttural moan from his throat as he threw his head back and started to thrust in Sunghoon’s grip, quite literally fucking it.
The hot sensation in your stomach felt unbearable as you watched the scene unfold, your own mouth hung open in a silent moan.
You tried to get the men’s attention back on you, your poor cunt craving to be filled again, but you were cut off by Sunghoon positioning Jay’s thick cock against your hole. You yelped in surprise when you it slid in one single swift motion, the sting you felt oh so delicious. You were both a moaning mess, unaware of Sunghoon’s sly smirk as Jay gave you no time to get used to his girth. One of his rough hands wrapped lightly around your neck while the other kept your hips in place, using them as leverage to piston into you, the heels of his feet pushing into the mattress at his pace brutal.
Neither of you noticed Sunghoon sneaking down to your core, the sudden feeling of something wet inside you other than Jay’s cock making your back arch and curses fall from your lips, the sensation like nothing you had ever experienced.
You made the mistake of looking down, only for the sinful image of Sunghoon’s tongue pushing inside your cunt as he grabbed the other man’s balls with his hands to slowly massage them to push you straight over the edge. You came so hard your vision turned spotty for a few seconds, a white creamy ring forming around Jay’s member as his own load shot right up into you. Jay’s moans as he fucked you both through your orgasms were nothing short of lewd, the roughness of his sounds so different from his slower thrusts, yet both of them working to prolong your bliss.
Sunghoon giggled against your sensitive cunt, swallowing a mouthful of both of your releases while you regained your breaths from your intense orgasms.
Jay was about to slide out of your cunt, but the sound of a ringtone reverberating through the room stopped his movements, his brows knitted as he waited for Sunghoon to go get it. You didn’t need to see the name on the display to know who it was, your body tensing right in Jay’s grip as anxiety flooded through your veins; talking to him was the last thing you wanted.
Sunghoon walked to the windowsill where he had left his phone to charge, a sinister grin widening on his features when he read Heeseung as the contact name on his display.
The air in the room was thick with lust and anticipation as he answered the call, acting like the situation he was in was completely normal. Like one of his best friends wasn’t still deep inside his other, right in front of him.
He only gave you a casual shrug of his shoulders when you glared at him, the warm dim lighting of the room carving out his features beautifully, but doing nothing to hide the deviousness of his expression.
“Hee, you need something?” Sunghoon said, his tone impassive as he kneeled again before you, the soft mattress dipping underneath his weight.
“She’s with you, isn’t she?” You barely heard Heeseung say before Sunghoon stepped away, whatever was being said on the other end now out of your hearing range. You wished you missed the bitter edge in Heeseung’s tone, a hint of displeasure at the thought of you with the guys so late at night. Had you not known better, you would have thought he was jealous maybe. Except you refused to indulge in that fantasy, your naive days were over.
Jay, being so intimately familiar with your emotions, felt your uneasiness right away. He moved to ghost his lips down your neck while his fingertips moved against the skin of your waist, an attempt to soothe your nerves.
You were grateful for him, his touch grounding and leading you away from your thoughts, the feeling of his warmth raising goosebumps wherever it reached.
“He can’t hurt you anymore,” he whispered before taking the shell of your ear in his mouth and biting it gently, eliciting an almost inaudible gasp from you.
Hoon fixed his gaze on you before replying to Heeseung’s question, “Yes, she’s here right now.”
Your eyes widened at his answer. You expected him to deny knowing anything about your whereabouts, end the call and go back to pick up right from where he left off. But he seemed to have other plans.
If the way Sunghoon’s knuckles were turning white while gripping his phone was anything to go by, the man on the other end must have not had a lot of nice words to spare. You thought about all the hurt he had been causing you ever since you got together, the earlier despair turning into searing red anger.
You forgave him for so much. You were so dumb to think he would ever change, would love you the way you loved him. You felt your hands shake as you realized you had been nothing but a commodity for Heeseung all that time. Nothing but a safety net to always catch him if anything went wrong. You thought about all the useless nights spent awake biting your fingernails while waiting for a simple text back; anything that would confirm he was safe. His habit of going for late-night drives on his bike ‘to collect his mind’ after an argument always stressing you out beyond belief. The nights spent crying on the phone to Sunghoon and Jay, that truly always did their best to bring back a smile on your face. You’d promise you would end things with Heeseung for your own good. Yet, you failed to keep your word every time, the magnetic pull you felt to your boyfriend so strong it managed to always reel you back in.
This time, you were actually done with him. How dare he pretend to care about what you were doing? You refused to be his little plaything for a second longer.
So you made up your mind.
“Hoon,” you whined quietly, interrupting the hushed conversation taking place at the end of the bed. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to say what was on your mind. “Want to make him regret everything he ever did to me.”
The man in question flashed you a proud grin, one of his canines peeking out slightly, “I think I have an idea then. You okay with being watched?”
Your breath hitched in your throat at the lewd suggestion, lust pooling in the pit of your stomach. You nodded, your bottom lip caught between your teeth.
“Gonna need to hear you say it,” Jay spoke softly into your ear while Sunghoon looked at you expectantly.
“Want him to watch you two fuck me, please.”
“Anything you want, doll.” Jay grinned against your skin, teeth poking out to nibble on your throat.
Sunghoon retuned his attention to the device in his hands, and put Heeseung on speaker. “So? Can I talk to her? Can I see her?”
His voice sent a pang of shame and guilt through your body, one you knew he did not deserve. What he did deserve though was to know, to see how good his brothers were fucking you.
“Oh, you’ll see her alright,” Sunghoon laughed, sending him a request to switch the call to video.
“Sunghoon? Hello? What’s this all about?”
Sunghoon ignored him, his full dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration while he was too busy trying to get the perfect angle on the comforter next to his bed, opting to use the lamp as a stand for his phone. Once he was satisfied enough he stepped back a bit to check one last time before returning back to you and Jay, finally revealing you wholly to Heeseung; your naked form spread over Jay’s and your stuffed cunt on full display for him.
It was silent for a while on the other end of the call, while Sunghoon settled next to Jay, the side of his lip tilted upwards cockily. “Hot right?”
Your blood ran cold for a moment at how flat and detached Heeseung’s voice sounded when he opened his mouth again. “Jay? What the fuck? What’s the meaning of this?”
Heeseung was absolutely floored by the scene playing out in front of him. He expected you to run crying to them as soon as you found out about him cheating like you always did every time something went wrong between you two, just for you to crawl back to him in no time. That was what he was anticipating. A few apologies and maybe a dinner date to win you back, that's what it took all the other times. But this?
He wanted to end the call and drive to his best friends’ apartment, and then god knows what he'd do to them once he got there. But he also could not help but stay frozen in place, sitting on the end of the bed in his own dark room, chest constricted with so many conflicting feelings
Why did he think you had never looked as gorgeous as in that instant, with Jay’s thick hands all over your body? He should not be feeling like this. He should be way angrier than he was. Especially when someone else was touching what was his.
Before Heeseung could even try to recover from the shock he was experiencing, Sunghoon gently reached for your chin— fingers warm and delicate on your skin— and angled your face towards his, soft eyes holding your gaze reassuringly. He leaned down to capture your lips in a delicate kiss, the tenderness of it surprising you.
You yelped when he unexpectedly bit your lip, taking that as a chance to slide his wet tongue inside your mouth, savoring your sweet taste.
One of his hands cupped your face tenderly while the other traveled down your body, groping any inch of flesh he could reach, the contrast between the slow movements of his tongue and the roughness of his touch leaving you dizzy, putty in his hands.
You realized then Sunghoon had you wrapped around his fingers, his scorching touch the only thing you could pay attention to. A siren luring you to him with his inviting song.
He drew back slightly, smiling when he noticed you chase after his lips, “I think Jay might be feeling a little left out.”
Your attention was forced back on Jay as he thrusted his hard girth inside you once again, fucking the mixture of both of your releases inside you, your cheeks flushing at the lewd squelching sounds his movements caused.
You wondered how it would sound like if Sunghoon’s cum was also inside of you, your moans so loud in the room as Jay’s pace never relented.
Sunghoon inched two of his long fingers into your cunt to collect some of the mess seeping out of you and brought it up to Jay’s mouth, who obediently took them in as he kept eye contact with you, your head tilted back on his shoulder. He hummed at the taste and made a point to lap the fingers completely clean before releasing them with a pop, knowing how much the little show he put on affected you. Watching him enjoy eating his own cum did inexplicable things to you, and you knew it clearly reflected on your expression when he tried uselessly to stifle a little giggle at how desperate you looked right then.
His thrusts were teasingly slow and shallow. You needed more, so much more, your cunt desperately clenching around him. So you grabbed his hand and brought it down to your clit, big glossy doe eyes begging him silently. Jay was visibly amused at your silent command, but ignored it. He gave you nothing more than a bite on your shoulder, and moved his hand to rest on your inner thigh. The warmth of his skin contrasted with the chill of his rings, sending waves of shivers coursing through your body.
Sunghoon cradled your face and kissed you again, this time a lot more messily and wet, his own lust leaking through his composure. He pushed the fingers that Jay licked clean inside you unexpectedly, making you gasp in his mouth and draw back a bit with a string of spit following you. The way your airy moans resounded in the room had him think he could cum untouched anytime soon.
Despite having done a good job at keeping his composure, Sunghoon was getting desperate. Seeing you enjoy yourself brought him great amounts of pleasure, but his weeping cock had been neglected for far too long, and he knew he couldn't go on like that for much longer.
As if reading his friend’s mind, Jay slipped out of you with a grunt and left you suddenly empty and clenching around nothing. Sounds of protest bubbled in your throat but Jay’s hand harshly grabbed your face, his lips smashing with yours to shut you up, “Patience, sweet thing," he said as he drew back, his lips still ghosting over yours and eyes clouded with need.
He maneuvered your body towards the phone and slipped under you, grabbing your thighs to settle you over his lap, except this time you were facing his chest. Truth be told, you had forgotten about the fact that Heeseung could see everything, but now that you were aware of him again you could make out faint squelching sounds coming from the phone. Your eyes widened at the realization that Lee Heeseung was fucking his fist to the little show you guys had been putting on for him.
You already knew him to be a pervert, but this seemed like a new low even for him.
You wanted to think you felt utterly insulted by this new information, but all you could find within yourself was deep satisfaction. Ecstasy coursed through your veins at the thought of how humiliating this must be for him, how pathetic he must feel.
You were itching to make him feel even worse about his situation, so you mustered up the most distressed look you could manage turned to Sunghoon, swaying your behind a little to encourage him to come closer.
“Please Hoonie? Want you both to stuff me full,” you said as you wiggled your hips for the camera pointed at you.
You looked back at him when he didn’t comply right away, finding him with a slight arch on one of his eyebrows while he stared at you, clearly amused by your behaviour. You couldn’t question what his deal was, Jay speaking before you got even a word out. His voice was sultry, warm breath fanning over your ear and sending tingles down your spine. “Aren’t you a dirty little slut mmh? Begging to get fucked just to make Heeseung jealous?”
The way your thighs closed tighter around his hips at the name he called you didn’t go unnoticed, his rough hand clasping around your throat to squeeze lightly, just enough to keep you silent in his grasp. “You enjoy this, mhh? Being called a whore.” He brought you closer to his face, warm breath tickling your own. "You’re still thinking about that bastard, acting like a little slut for him, I thought you wanted to forget about him? Are we not doing enough?”
You struggled to shake your head in his grasp, prompting him to apply more pressure on your throat. “Words.”
“You are,” you barely managed to choke out, voice raw from being suppressed, even if for a short amount of time. He released you from his hold, leaving you gasping for air.
Sunghoon barely gave you any time to recover as he took hold of your wrists, just one of his hands big enough to keep them in place. You felt the smooth leather on your wrists before you realised what was happening; Sunghoon’s belt secured tightly around your skin, binding your arms together.
The way Jay talked to you and now Sunghoon depriving you of your freedom of movement made you feel like you were there just to be their cocksleeve, there to just be fucked. And while you knew they did not feel that way about you, ever the so caring best friends, this forbidden side to them made you feel things you never thought you would. You liked this, you needed them to fuck you like you belonged to them and them alone.
Jay interrupted your train of thought by sliding in your abused cunt, hissing at the feeling of your walls enveloping him.
“Still so tight, how are you gonna fit both of us, doll?” His hand came down to grab a handful of your ass, pushing you up and down on his cock, your tits bouncing before his face at the repeated movements.
Sunghoon moved to grab the phone propped on the lamp and finally addressed Heeseung again, “Still here? You’re enjoying this mhh? Nasty freak.” He punctuated the last words, almost seething at him. The smile that took over his features was feral, not the usual flirtatious grin you were used to seeing on him. "Gonna give you an even better view, one you will never forget.”
He pointed the camera towards you, giving Heeseung a clear view of you riding Jay, your ass slapping against his thighs. He fisted his cock with his free hand, smearing the obscene amount of precum he produced all over his shaft. He gave himself a few more pumps before he aligned it on your entrance, finally pushing in with difficulty next to Jay with a groan.
They both stayed still for a moment to let you adjust to their combined girths, though you knew you could ever get used to it, no matter how long they gave you. The stretch was almost unbearable for the first few moments, white-hot pain blinding your vision.
Jay threw his head back against the bed and let out a loud drawn-out moan at the feeling of Sunghoon nestled right next to him. His hand rested on your waist, the warmness of it an anchor to help you ground yourself. Sunghoon grabbed your bound wrists and pushed your body to lay against Jay’s fully, giving himself and Heeseung a perfect view of your overly stretched hole as the man under you resumed to gently thrust up into you.
Heeseung thought he must have gone insane when he had to physically stifle a moan at the sight of Sunghoon’s hips slowly matching Jay's movements, cock dragging deliciously next to his. He felt betrayed, not by you but by his best friends. He wondered how long they had been waiting to stick their weeping cocks inside you, how long they’d eyed you like prey without him ever noticing, how many nights they must’ve spent fucking their fists thinking about you while he pounded you sweet little cunt. He wanted to call them fucking perverts for this, but he knew he was not in a position to judge anyone. Not when he was getting off to the sight of your cunt stuffed by them. He might be even worse.
The sight on his phone was unbearably lewd to begin with, but your cries of pleasure made it so much worse. Never have you sounded like that for him. You were so fucking wet for them Sunghoon almost accidentally slipped out a few times. Heeseung thought about how snug it must feel, how hard you must be clamping around them, and he clenched his fist tighter to mimic the feeling, Adam's apple bobbing as your moans got louder. He wanted to be the one fucking you right now so badly, so desperate to cum inside you. Instead, he couldn’t stop a pitiful sob from escaping from his lips as he came without warning all over his hand in thick spurts, coating his skin and drenching the fabric of his shorts rolled down on the floor. He kept stroking himself, riding out his orgasm as pathetic whines fell from his slack jaw, even more shame setting in.
Your friends would have laughed at how pathetic he was had any of you kept their attention on him, but he was easily forgotten as Sunghoon bent down so his chest pressed on your back. He dropped the phone somewhere on the bed, denying Heeseung the glimpse of your hole being split open and leaving him with only the sounds and his imagination.
Jay’s pace suddenly got more frantic, his rhythm a lot faster inside you with his feet planted on the bed and hips slightly lifted to fuck into you, while Sunghoon’s were still slow and languid. You were lost in the pleasure by then, incoherent babbles of praises and sweet moans the only thing leaving your mouth.
“Has anyone ever fucked you this good, doll?” Jay asked, already aware of the answer but wanting to hear it from you anyway. In fact, it was all you could think about at that moment: how no one had ever fucked you so good, how they were ruining sex with anyone else for you, how every time you found yourself needy from now on the only plausible option would be to just go back to them and beg them to do anything in their power to make you cum; to use you how they better saw fit.
You eagerly nodded your head to him, eyes closed when you struggled to form words against their onslaught on your poor stretched hole, “Fuck- yeah, no one ever.”
Jay chuckled and you felt the vibrations of it on the skin of your cheek, his lips brushing against it while Sunghoon cooed at your enthusiasm. “Is that so mmh? Not even our Heeseung?” You were quick to shake your head.
“No, not even him.''
That seemed to only spur the men further, Jay’s thrusts becoming somehow more rapid and Sunghoon’s more precise and so deep you thought he was pistoning straight in your guts.
Sunghoon grabbed your bounded wrists and used them to slide you over their cocks, the slick mess between your legs coating their thighs too, leaving you no room for movement. All you could do was sit there prettily for them and take it, your mouth falling open and eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt them hit the spot deep inside you that had your toes curling at the same time.
“Your cunt was made for our cocks,” Jay grunted in your ear, one of his hands leaving your hips to grab your chin. “Gonna ruin you for everyone else."
You helplessly clenched around them even harder at his words, so snug they could barely move, throaty gasps and moans filling the air. You were basically dumb on their cocks, greedily trying to suck them in further. So they were not surprised when your front collapsed on Jay’s chest as you came undone around them, your vision blinded and hearing muffled for a few seconds from the sheer strength of your bliss. Sunghoon was still putting his weight on your back, his thrust losing precision and becoming rougher and messier, matching Jay’s erratic ones.
You still hadn’t come down from your high when you felt Sunghoon’s fingers trace circles on your puffy abused nub, earning whines of protests from you that got immediately swallowed by Jay’s mouth, his teeth grazing your bottom lip sensually. "Just one more, you’re doing so good doll.”
The coil in your stomach built once more at a frightening pace, and you tried to fuck your hips back against Sunghoon’s, but hypocritically tried to get away from their grips at the same time, the pain of overstimulation so good and addicting you didn't know what to do with yourself.
“Inside please,” you sniffled pathetically as tears formed on your lashes. Sobs heaved from your chest and eyes rolled in the back of your head when you came for them a final time, your breath getting knocked out of your chest as your essence splashed out of you, making a mess on both of their thighs.
“Did you just squirt baby? Fuck, that’s hot," Sunghoon moaned, his hips stuttering for a moment.
As soon as Jay realized what just happened he stilled his hips against yours and painted your walls with his hot cum. Sunghoon whined as he felt both of your slicks push against his throbbing member, prompting his own high to wash over him.
You all tried to catch your breaths as Sunghoon kept fucking the mix of your releases inside you, not wanting any of it to slip out and go to waste. Jay had to tap his hips a few times to get him to stop, the stimulation of his raw cock too much to handle.
A mewl left your lips when they carefully slid out of you, the emptiness so sudden you found yourself missing the way they filled you completely right away.
You were so spent you could barely move, but you managed a small smile when Jay kissed your temple softly, caging you in his arms while Sunghoon grabbed a towel to clean up the sticky mess you made.
He retrieved his phone too, taking note of the ended call, before opening the camera app and grabbing your ankles, parting your sore legs as far as you were able to take.
He pointed the camera down and easily slid two fingers back inside your pussy, earning tired weak sounds of protest from you.
“Shh baby, am only showing our Heeseungie what he missed,” he whispered, lowering his face down to your cunt and replacing his fingers with his tongue. He took as much cum as he could in his mouth, then came up back again and kissed you softly, tongue sliding some of the essences from his mouth into yours. He parted from your lips and scooted closer to Jay, repeating the same action. his hands gripping the other male's head to angle it backwards.
Butterflies wreaked havoc in your stomach when you looked at Jay, his eyes closed as he savored the taste, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed and licked inside of Sunghoon’s mouth, careful not to miss any drop.
Sunghoon parted from him with a smile and grabbed the warm wet towel he had set next to you, finally cleaning you up, careful not to stimulate you any further. When he finished, he took you in his arms and walked to the bathroom. He set you down carefully, hands hovering close to your body making sure you could stand up on your own despite how shaky your legs were, before stepping back and signalling you to pee. Your cheeks heated up at his suggestion, earning a full chest laugh from him, “I just fucked the daylights out of you, and this is what you’re embarrassed about?” He set a shirt and a pair of Jay’s clean underwear on the sink for you to change in before walking out of the room.
You were drowsy by the time you got back in bed with them, Jay whispering sweet nothings in the crown of your hair—sometimes giving you tiny pecks— and Sunghoon with his arms wrapped around your shoulders, one of his hands caressing your arm gently. You had no idea how you let Heeseung get away with treating you like he did when this is what you could have had all along. You don’t know how this was gonna change your relationship with everyone involved, but you decide you'll worry about it another time, the comfortable silence lulling you to sleep as the men next to you continued to swoon over you.
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verstappen-cult · 8 months ago
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Having an argument with Max, sounds exhausting. Especially when both of you are stubborn, but guess what? He'd willingly beg for forgiveness if you are still upset with him and avoiding him as a result of the argument
“I can’t do this anymore.” You whisper, shaking your head and taking a step back. 
That is what finally makes Max stop dead in his tracks, mouth hanging open with whatever he was going to say next. 
You’re tired. You woke up less than an hour ago and the first thing you and Max did was argue. And you really didn’t want to start the day this way, but neither of you backed away. Things escalated quickly and you just can’t do it anymore. 
“What are you talking about?” He sounds desperate, his chest heaving. Max clenches his fists by his side, like he wants to reach out. 
You turn your head away, eyes filled with tears. “I’m gonna go see my mother. We’ll talk later.” 
Max feels paralyzed, he can’t seem to do anything but watch you leave. 
*
It’s past eight when you get home. 
The first thing you notice is that the house is lit only by candles. A lot of candles throughout the house. 
Max is nowhere to be seen, Jimmy and Sassy are the ones greeting you by passing between your legs. You bend over to pat their heads and give them a few ear scratches. 
The more you walk into the house, the more your heart breaks. There on the table is a big bouquet of your favorite flowers along with a small card with the word ‘sorry’ written in Max’s handwriting waiting for you. The table is also set with the chinaware you only use on special occasions, and a few more candles. 
When you turn around you see Max curled up on the sofa, your favorite weighted blanket —the one you use when you’re feeling down and Max is away for work— around his shoulders. He looks so cozy, you want to curl up next to him, but you are still a little hurt and angry from the argument you two had in the morning. You’re thinking about what you both said to each other when Max stirs, eyes trying to adjust to seeing in the dim light. 
“Hey,” You say as a greeting, trying not to scare him. 
Max turns around immediately, surprise crossing his features. “You’re home.”
“Yes? Sorry I didn’t say anything but mom wanted me to help her with gardening.” You shrug, leaving your bag and keys on the table next to the couch. 
“I didn’t think you’d come back.” His voice is barely a whisper, but you hear him anyway. Max exhales deeply, clutching the blanket tightly around his shoulders. 
“What?”
“I’m so sorry.” He blurts out, shoulders slumped. Max shuts his eyes tightly, like he’s in so much pain he can barely have them open. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I should’ve listened to you—I’m really sorry. I don’t want us to argue like that again, I felt horrible because I love you and I promised myself I would never do something like this.” You let him talk, to spill everything he has inside of him. “After you left—I wanted to go after you but I knew you needed time. But it made me remember how my dad used to talk to my mom, how they would yell at each other while Vic and I hid in our rooms.” You are already moving towards him, even before you hear how his voice breaks. 
You sit by his side, leaving some space between you two, hands itching to reach out and touch him, to draw him closer to you and hold him. 
“I don’t want to be like him.”
“You’re nothing like him,” You move closer, taking his hands with yours, thumb caressing the back of them. “Don’t you ever dare to go there, okay? You will never be like him, Max. Do you understand?” 
But he doesn’t look at you, he doesn’t say anything. 
“Max, this is not the first and it’s definitely not going to be the last argument we have. But if we talk about it, if we give ourselves some time to think things through like we did today—this doesn’t mean you are a bad person, or that you are turning into your dad.” You cup his cheek with one of your hands, caressing his cheekbone as you look into his stormy blue eyes. 
“I’m so sorry,” He says again, tears in the corners of his eyes. You smile softly at him when he begs for your forgiveness again. 
“Can you forgive me too?” 
“Darling, you’ve nothing to be sorry for.”
“Well, you’re wrong there.” You sniff, already feeling the tears wanting to stream down your face. “We were both wrong, don’t take all the blame.” Max opens his mouth to refute, but you shut him up with a kiss. It’s chaste, full of promises, and leaves you with blood pounding in your ears. 
“Do you forgive me?”
Max nods, gaze fixed on your lips. “Yes,” He directs his gaze back to your eyes, and you can see so much regret in them. “Do you forgive me?” 
“I don’t know,” You tease him by pretending to think about it. “it depends on what you made for dinner.”
A grin spreads across his face and he’s standing up in a second, tugging on your sleeve. “It’s definitely gonna make you forgive me.” He says, pulling the chair out for you to sit. “And if this doesn’t work, I have many other ways to make you forgive me.”
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gay-dorito-dust · 7 days ago
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AUTHOR PLSS SHARE ANY VIKTOR RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS YOU HAVE especially pining 👀 UR WRITING IS DELICIOUSS 🙏🙏
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The pinning period was…painful to say the least but funny enough when looked back upon because neither of you had an ounce of subtlety in your bodies, especially not when it came to hiding the fact that you both liked each other; which only came off as more obvious to the people who know you well enough to understand what was going on.
You admired Viktor for his intelligent. His ambitions to better the lives of those of unfortunate origins by striving in finding ways to extending their expectancy, treating them of their ailments and more, all the while you found yourself lost in his soft voice and the way his amber eyes shone like whiskey in a pristine shot glass beneath a warm light.
He was beautiful in every sense of the word to you and you wanted nothing more then to show you just how beautiful he was in your eyes, but of course like anyone else rejection wasn’t exactly something you’d wish to experience from someone you respected and adored.
So you decided that longing stares of adoration and tearing would be the safest route possible for you, after all you wouldn’t get hurt and you weren’t expected to confess either! Win-win situation….except It wasn’t and your heart aches every time he walked by you, greeting you with the sweetest smile and followed by an even sweeter ‘hello’ as his hand brushes against your hand.
Needless to say You were fucking dying on the inside from not saying anything but you didn’t want to ruin what you had just because you felt just a little bit more than a friend. The pain of never telling Viktor how you felt was somehow even worse then any other pain you’ve experienced before, it felt as though your heart was trying to escape from your chest to join its other half in Viktor’s chest. You hated it but at least it remained you that those feelings were real, that they existed and weren’t a figment of your imagination.
Now on the other side Viktor was facing a similar situation to yourself as he drags his hands down his face when the realisation struck. He had an inkling that he felt romantic feelings for you but he tended to push it away because he didn’t feel as though you two would look well matched when put together in his minds eye, he felt as though you deserved someone who didn’t spend most of his time in the laboratory, occasionally sleeping there when he was deeply invested in his project and ignoring his bodily needs for food and breaks.
However he couldn’t ignore the matters of his heart no matter how hard he tries to, but soon Viktor finds that his head was just as consumed by you as his heart was, which proved to make productivity in his project a lot harder to complete. He couldn’t blame you nor did he want to even when he finds himself looking out a window like a love sick pup, only to spot you walking the grounds lost in your own mind all the while possessing the freedom of an uncaged bird.
You were beautiful, sweet and a lovely soul and Viktor didn’t feel as if it was his place to be by your side as he watched you walked back into the building and out of sight. He leans back against his chair and places his hand against his chest and feeling his heart beating against his palm, begging him to say something, anything to you in hopes of easing this pain of infatuation; all the while his head told him that while a love like yours would be sweet to experience he didn’t know the possibilities of a love as pure as that could exist long term.
Despite the fear of rejection and uncertainty of how long your relationship were to stand the test of time you and Viktor spent a lot of time together regardless, even if it was mostly in silence sometimes, which didn’t make matters better for either of you in regards to your feelings towards one another but make them stronger and even more of a hassle to ignore. However it didn’t matter in the moment as the moments you spend together were peaceful, warm and just felt right as though this was where you’re meant to be this entire time, it was soothing and neither you nor Viktor wanted to end.
but unfortunately sleep was a detractor that threatened to pull you both apart by the end of the day.
Did you accidentally fall asleep on his shoulder once in the library? Yes, yes you did and what did Viktor do? He smiled softly at you as he admired you before he found himself falling fast asleep with him resting his was atop of your own. The position wasn’t comfortable in the slightest nor did wonders for your necks, but it was a memory that Viktor would look back on fondly when he felt a little cold and lonely at night to warm his heart.
Sweet, tender moments like these often happened between the two of you that included you getting him breakfast in the morning so that he wouldn’t starve, all so you could see the look of gratitude upon his face as he pats you on the arm.
‘Thank you my dorogaya.’ He says with a gentle smile and you swore you felt your face heat up ten times more than normal.
(Dorogaya is -according to internet, so I trust it extremely loosely, a Russian term of endearment meaning dear)
‘That’s okay Viktor, I’m just making sure you don’t end up falling asleep here…again.’ You said with a smile. ‘Now I better see you eat some food and not just drink the coffee, much like you did the last time.’ You added as you looked at Viktor with a raise brow as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
Even when being scolded he was the absolute cutest. You thought to yourself as you impulsively kissed his cheek, wishing him a good rest of his day, before leaving the laboratory where the real autism of what you had just did hit you just as the door shut behind you.
Welp so much for keeping your hidden feelings secret. Sure it was on impulse but it didn’t matter now as a month later you’re in a solid relationship with Viktor.
Let’s move onto the actual relationship things!
First of all you kiss each other’s cheek and or forehead in greeting in the morning almost. It was simple little act, but it was enough to start your day despite how early it was for either of you and give you a little pick me up to start the day.
‘Good morning my dorodaya.’ Viktor says softly as he pecks your cheek.
‘Good morning my love.’ You reply, kissing him softly on the cheek before kissing his other cheek just because you could, making him smile at you as his cheeks became warm from your sweet affection. He still was very not use to you being so openly affectionate to him, meanwhile he’d much prefer to keep most affection in private. Though this didn’t mean Viktor wasn’t above running a hand down your arm or linking his pinky with yours before bravely intertwining your fingers together so that your palms were pressed against one another’s.
These touches were reminders of the fact that this was real, that this wasn’t a dream that you’ll inevitably wake up from unfairly.
You still keep getting Viktor food and coffee as usual but this time you stay to eat along side him until you’re needed elsewhere, for you don’t want to be anywhere else but besides your beautiful and intelligent Viktor.
Meanwhile poor Viktor knew he was going to get teased to hell and back for hiding the fact that he had a partner, but he didn’t mind it if it meant he could spend a little time with you seeing as you both had really busy schedules, which meant there wasn’t much time you could spend together that wasn’t before you went to sleep or just as you were both waking up.
You even give him soft hugs and words such as ‘you okay honey?’ ‘Everything going smoothly over here’ or ‘please eat enough my love and make sure you take breaks or else I’ll drag you outside myself to get some fresh air.’ Viktor couldn’t help but smile at your lighthearted threat and lean himself back into to smirk at you playfully.
‘Is that a promise my muse?’ He asks innocently.
You kiss his forehead. ‘It’s a promise I intend to make good on.’ You replied, squeezing his shoulders. ‘Love you my beloved, have a good day and don’t overdo yourself.’ You added, wanting Viktor to be nothing but of acceptable health as finding him sleeping in the lab with bad posture made you wince.
‘As long as you take care of yourself my dorodaya.’ Viktor said seriously as he squeezed your hand before prying it open to put something in it and then closing your hand once more.
You knew instantly he made you something with his own two hands, you had a box filled with trinkets and other memorabilia that Viktor had made with you in mind, whether he was aware of it or not but you treasured each and every one as though they were priceless items you could never depart with.
You even left notes of affirmations and encouragement for Viktor, followed by small silly doodles somewhere you could to let him know that there was someone on his side and to always be in his corner while he continues his pursuits as a scientist. Words and cute doodles which were highly appreciated by Viktor as he too kept a box filled with all the notes you’ve ever given him since your relationship began.
Your dates were mainly indoors but neither of you were complaining as all you needed was each other as you cuddled up close and enjoyed listening to the other breath before slipping into a comfortable slumber, buried underneath a bundle of comfy and soft blankets.
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ceruleanchillin · 1 year ago
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But is she really yours? (141 x Reader)
Note(s) -
It's long, so be warned.
The guys are doing a little of what we like to call Dirty Mackin, and yes, I think this is something they’d all do in their own way.
Still working on getting those accents to come through, while not stepping into cringe/wrong territory. 
I apologize, this is a very messy format (borderline stream of consciousness), and I’m trying to figure out a cleaner way to do this. I hope it doesn’t hurt the reading experience.
And I am the only one who kinda wants to see the reverse scenario, where Reader tries to get the guys away from their trash gfs? 👀Thanks to @bunnyreaper for the idea, it wrote itself as I read that.
Simon:
Annoying. That was the first thing Simon thought of you. So of course you had to work at the only cafe near his flat that made tea the way he liked.
You were always on your phone, arguing with someone (he guessed a boyfriend), and he hated getting stuck at your register. The calls clearly distressed you, and he didn’t know why you kept taking them. Especially on the job.
You’d gotten his order wrong more times than he could count, and you were always having to turn around and ask him to repeat the things he wanted. It got to the point where he waited until the other barista’s line was open.
Unfortunately, other customers had done the same, and it was causing a backup.
Then there was the day. His day started as it always did on his off time. The three S’s, and then he was at the gym to get his time in when he knew it was mostly empty. Then finally, his black tea.
He sighed, mentally preparing himself for the wait before he entered. As expected, there was a line.
You were there, and you appeared to be deeply engaged in conversation with the only person at your counter.
He was surprised to see you had a customer. ‘Must not be a regular.’
As he got closer to the counter, he could overhear the whispered argument. The man wasn’t a customer at all, he presumed he was the boyfriend from the phone calls. Based on the things the two of you were saying, that made the most sense.
‘Great. Getting the live version today.’ Simon had to wonder how you kept this job. Were you the boss's daughter? Did you own a share? Could he steal enough of the signature black tea blend and go into hiding until he had to ship out again?
You looked exasperated, and your co-worker stepped over to your side, coming to your aid.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Simon groaned, realizing the wait would be longer. 
He stepped outside for a cigarette, making the mental decision that if by the time he was done with it there was still a line, he would forgo his drink that day.
He chose the alley on the side of the shop, not liking the openness of the sidewalk, and staked out against the opposite building’s wall.
He was halfway past the tip of his cigarette when the side door he’d been eyeing warily opened, and out came you.
You looked frustrated, anxious, and maybe a little embarrassed. He didn’t think you noticed him, instead, walking over to the dumpster and kicking it, hard. It sent a loud, tinny groan echoing through the alley. He narrowed his eyes, feeling that itch of frustration under his skin.
You noticed him finally, and stopped angrily muttering to yourself. Instead, you started talking to him. It was mostly an uninterrupted stream of dialogue for two minutes straight (he timed it), before he could finally understand you.
“Mandatory break! That’s the second one this week, can you believe that?”
He started to say yes, and that he hoped the third one won you a prize: getting fired. He kept his mouth shut though.
“It’s not even me, it’s my boyfriend. He means well, but he just…I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.” You were searching for something in your apron, but he couldn’t tell what, out of the corner of his eye.
Simon flexed his fingers, eyes narrowing until the shop’s logo mural was a blur. You found it, and walked closer to him until he turned both eyes to you.
“Can I get a light?” You gestured with the unlit cigarette between your fingers to the one burning between his lips.
“Bloody. Fuckin’. Hell, Bird! S’not enough you keep half the fuckin’ place backed up on a good day, but then you prance your arse out here to annoy me some fuckin’ more? Fuck off.” He jabbed his pointer finger at the door you’d come out of.
The alley echoed his baritone, and somehow made his outburst sharper.
You stared at him like he’d taken his head off, instead of having bitten off yours. Eyes wide, bottom lip trembling, he thought you might cry, and he began to feel guilt grow in the pit of his stomach. He’d forgotten, in the midst of you stirring up similar agitation, that he wasn’t on base talking to some recruit dumped on him. 
You did cry, but once you started talking, he suspected it was more due to anger. “Fuck you! You fuck off, I work here!”
He ignored the small voice telling him ‘stop’, and fired back. “Work?” He snorted. “Real fuckin’ rich that is. Don’t confuse work with your million mandatory breaks.”
You clenched your fists, eyes wild with adrenaline and voice shrill with anger. “Go to hell. You’re just some freak in an alley who can’t remember when Halloween is. You don’t know me.”
You angrily wiped at your tears to no avail, as more quickly took their place, and then you started sobbing. 
Simon sighed, feeling like shit and wishing he’d held it together just a little more. “Alright. Alright. ‘Nuff of that now.”
“I’m not crying *hic* because of you…” you huffed, trying to get your voice under control. “Just go back to your cigarette. I hope you suck it up and *hic* choke!”
He chuckled, you were the first person in a while who’d lashed back out at his harsh disposition. At least to his face. “Was uglier than I should’ve been, but won’t pretend there wasn’t some truth to it.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“You’re a shit barista, wanna form a band?” His lips quirked into a smirk around his near-stub cigarette.
For a beat there was silence, until the two of you burst into laughter. Yours a raucous peal of giggles, and his, raspy chuckles.
“Well, you earned that light. Got more balls then a lot of soldiers I know.”
The two of you stayed in that alley for thirty minutes just riffing off different topics. It ended with Simon giving you the friendly (read: rough) advice to not let your boyfriend cost you your job.
That’s not how he saw his day going. Having the most interesting conversation he’d had in a while with the woman who annoyed the piss out of him for the better part of his leave.
You were no longer annoying, you’d been upgraded to interesting, and that was the second thing Simon thought about you.
After your talk in the alley, Simon was pleasantly surprised to find that you’d taken his advice and stepped your skills up. It turned out, you were distracted by your boyfriend, but Simon had come to see why. He was obsessed with knowing where you were, and if you were thinking of him, and wondering if he should drop by. 
Simon felt more guilt for being so impatient, and he decided no matter what, he would pick your line. That was the only reason too. It certainly wasn’t because he couldn’t stop thinking about you after your last conversation. 
Sometimes you would take your breaks with him now, exhibiting that same forward nature from the alley, but it no longer annoyed him. He’d tease you about whether or not that break was mandatory, but he looked forward to it all the same.
You talked about anything and everything, from where you were from, to Simon having to explain the delicate ins and outs of football to you. (He was pretty sure you were pushing him to have a heart attack by pretending you forgot a different detail every time you talked).
It was an unstated, but mutually understood, thing that your time together fulfilled something missing for both of you. For him it was cutting into his habit of cutting off socialization until he was back on base or a mission, and for you, it was a break from your relationship.
He liked to think that you looked forward to your talks as much as he did, if your expression every time you saw him was an indicator. 
Unlike him, you were an open book, so you did most of the talking. Simon soaked up everything you told him, filing it away. You were funny, and fascinating.
On his end, he was careful about some of what he shared, and nervous about other things. He had more dark or restricted anecdotes than humourous or endearing ones, and he didn’t want to bring you down. After all, you had more than enough of that to deal with.
The boyfriend. He was a nightmare of obsession and insecurity. It was perhaps your fourth break-hangout that Simon saw it completely for himself. He’d all but dragged you out of your seat, which made Simon rise from his so quickly, it almost toppled over behind him. He wasn’t unaware of his size, nor was he afraid to use it on the shorter man, but you assured him it was fine until he sat down.
Your boyfriend was panicking, wondering why you were keeping someone like him company. He wanted to know what it meant for the two of you, and Simon hated seeing you in an endless loop of begging the pathetic prick to believe you loved him. All of your humor and your cute little habits disappeared as he forced you to become a helicopter girlfriend, concerned only with his fears.
Simon decided then he would sway you away from him. He didn’t deserve you, and Simon may not have known you long, but he couldn’t stand to see you withering under him and his emotional blackmail. No one ever accused Simon of being sane.
You would be his, and that was the third thing Simon thought about you.
If he said so himself, he was slick about it. He’d forgotten about the amount of energy it took to pursue a relationship with someone, and why he limited his romantic interactions to hookups with women he found interesting.
You weren’t just interesting, he was fully infatuated with you by the time he started to actively move towards getting you away from that neurotic dumpster. You were worth the effort.
It started with seeing you outside of the cafe in a way that seemed natural. He thought about it for a while, before he settled on inviting you to a football game. He couldn’t believe he’d worried that you’d say no, your ‘yes’ came out before he was even done asking.
You were impressed with his timing, confessing that the night before, your boyfriend had thoroughly embarrassed you at a party, and you needed a fun day.
Simon had smiled tightly all through your hurried explanation that everything was fine, and that he had apologized once you got home with him.
The day of the game, you were absolutely adorable when he picked you up. Giddily introducing him to your roommate. She eyed him with approval, and even congratulated you for trading up.
Before you could correct her, he slipped in his answer. “That remains to be seen. Depends on if she embarrasses me at the game.”
You snorted, launching into that now familiar peal of giggles. “I promise I won’t. Now, which of these soccer teams is yours again? The Manfordshire Mermaids?”
“You wanna ride there on the roof?”
The trip was a better investment than he thought. You were enthralled with what was going on, the hype of the crowd, the skill of the players, and just being there in person. However, you had to rely on him to translate this new world to you, and that left you literally clinging to him in interest. Simon was your whole world in that stadium, and he locked that feeling down tightly for motivation.
Step one had gone off without a hitch, and now it was on to step two. 
Outings with you became a series. Simon encouraged as many as possible in order to trigger the response he wanted.
He knew it wouldn’t be long until your boyfriend started getting antsy, and insecure again. You were going out twice as much as you had before you started hanging out with Simon outside of the cafe.
To push the matter, Simon told you his work schedule was getting hectic. It was a half truth, the training period before the announcement of a deployment had commenced, and Simon planned on having a girlfriend to come home to this time. Namely you.
He used the excuse to create later meetups. Dinners, movies, wandering the street and stumbling into things to do. All the while getting you hooked on his touch. Simon wasn’t a touchy-feely person by nature, and this was something everyone who knew him picked up on quickly. You picked up on it too, but he wanted to touch you. He didn’t though, at least not often. 
Starting off with little touches that could be confused as an accident, he increased the pressure but kept the frequency low so you became addicted to his rare touches. He wanted you to feel special that someone like him indulged you in that way, so that you’d seek out more, even though HE was the one who felt blessed every time he felt your skin on his.
When you were together, he made sure things were about you. He didn’t imagine your boyfriend left much room for that with his paranoia, but he wanted to show you what you were in for once you were together. 
One night, Simon kept you out later than usual. He’d stayed away from you for two weeks, which wasn’t hard, work was starting to pick up. He could’ve carved out a day or two though, but he wanted to make you crave his time like he did yours. 
It worked. He scheduled a late dinner at an upscale restaurant, letting you fill him in on all that he missed. Namely, you missed being with him. You weren’t the type to keep your feelings to yourself, and you’d inevitably vented to your boyfriend about missing your friend. He didn’t like that label at all, but he liked what would come from your actions.
Periodically throughout the dinner, your phone rang, increasing in frequency as the night wore on. 
You had to excuse yourself multiple times, and Simon pretended to be annoyed. In reality, he anticipated that. Each time the phone rang, you cringed and looked at him apologetically. 
On what had to be the tenth time, Simon said. “Go on then, run off to pamper the pathetic bastard. Powder his arse too this time.”
Your face screwed up in objection to his barbed words. “He’s just worried…”
He shrugged. “Don’t owe me an explanation lovie. S’just a mystery why you’re in such a rush to be a nursemaid.”
Rolling your eyes, you stood up from the table. “I’m in a rush to be a good girlfriend thank you. Stop being an ass, I’ll be back in a minute.”
“S’go,” he downed the last of his bourbon before he pulled his wallet from his pocket. “I’ll pay the tab and take you home.”
“What? We’re supposed to have dessert, and then maybe a movie.” 
Simon watched your distressed body language and expression with mild amusement, and he was proud of being able to hide it, even though he’d forgone his mask that night. “You’ve gotta tuck in your kid. S’not on me you won’t date a man.”
You pouted and sat back down. “If I put my phone away, you put your wallet away. You promised me dessert.”
He smirked, refusing to hide it now. This was the first time, since he’d met you, that you’d ignored your boyfriend, and it said a lot.
You did it once, so Simon was able to turn it into a habit. Your boyfriend looked increasingly unhinged as Simon made sure you starved him of your attention.
The ugly voicemails and text messages began soon after. He didn’t like that at all, and he had to remind himself the time to deal with your boyfriend would come, but he did appreciate that you were becoming less tolerant of him. 
Every time you returned to Simon after having to soothe your boyfriend’s ego, and stop his tantrums, Simon made your life easier. He worshiped you in subtle ways, reminding you of what a man was, compared to a child.
There was guilt on your part, but it felt so good to be taken care of for once. To not have to worry about Simon bursting into a fit of insecurity that made you completely responsible for his feelings, and left little to no room for anything else. 
When he touched you, it lit your nerve endings on fire. You knew that the touches were bordering on inappropriate, since you were still taken, but you also knew that your brain went numb with good vibrations with even just a brush of his fingertips.
Simon still kept it light, almost questionable as to whether it even happened, and you finally began to seek it out. Wearing backless tops so that his fingertips would brush your bare skin, sitting next to him in diner booths so a thick thigh was always brushing your own, going for things in high places so he’d steady you by your waist.
He never seemed to miss a beat on when and where to touch you, but it wasn’t enough.
The breaking point came when he invited you to a dinner Price was holding as a goodbye to civilian life until next leave. The verbal invitation was the most valuable thing to you in a while. Not only because you were increasingly becoming addicted to him, but because for someone like Simon to invite you into that part of his life, it meant that he was in deep with you too.
All of Simon’s friends were funny, inviting, and very taken by you. They were so polite to you, complimenting you, and telling you as much as they could about their work, trying to impress you.
You were having fun trying to keep up, but you got the impression that Simon inviting a woman he was seeing to meet them was a new thing, and they didn’t know the protocol.
You were surprised to find he went by Ghost in his field, and they were unused to hearing Simon. You shared how the two of you met, and how polite he wasn’t in your first conversation, and they weren’t surprised.
You were enjoying your time with them, the conversation never stopped, and you would venture to say Simon looked fond at times. Though, as each man became more flirtatious, his expression would change. It became an unspoken game between you and his team to try and make him speak up about it. He didn’t take the bait.
Then came the topic of your boyfriend.
“Come now love, you’re a smart girl. Why do you wanna waste your time with that bellend?” - Price
“I don’t ken what the situation here is, but if Ghost and the other one don’t appreciate you, I promise I will.” Soap
“I had a girl once, who used to follow me in her friend’s car, sit outside my apartment, and call me from different phones to test me. You’re fit as hell love, dump him.” - Gaz
 It was a little embarrassing, and you were slightly annoyed that Simon had told them, but your mind kept shortening it to ‘he talked about me to his team.’ 
During dinner, you excused yourself to the bathroom. While you were washing your hands, Simon slipped into the room, making you jump.
Your eyes met in the mirror, where Simon just glared.
“Have fun with the boys, bird?”
“Have fun broadcasting my business?” You raised an eyebrow, but your tone held no anger to it.
Simon chuckled, locking the door. “S’not my business is it?”
You swallowed hard, shaking your head slowly.
He trapped you between the sink and himself, hands locking onto the counter on either side of you. 
“Let’s fix that.” His lips pressed to the pulse point on the side of your neck, speaking his command against it. “Get rid of him lovie, and come home where you belong.”
You tried to do just that, but for the first time that you could recall, your boyfriend wasn’t taking your calls.
Simon watched you while he packed, tucked beneath his sheets where you belonged, bare. It’d been a week since you took that next step in his captain’s guest bathroom, and you’d been trying to inform your ex he was now in fact, your ex.
You gingerly rolled over to face him, mindful of all the reminders that he loved you he left your body. “Si, he’s still not picking up. I don’t want to do it over the phone, but…”
“Don’t get worked up. Maybe he got the message already...”
Kyle:
He’d re-visited Chicago on his downtime, and met you in a club. Unknown to him at the time, your boyfriend had stood you up for the third time that month, and you decided not to waste the night. It’d made you so free and enthralling to watch, he couldn’t look away.
Gaz spent the entire night with you, glad he’d ignored the jet lag, even when you took him to all the best after-hours spots.
The only problem was your boyfriend, Keith, who Gaz personally believed formed in the bottom of a toilet, and sought life elsewhere. His team thought he was delusional, and/or giving you too much thought.
“You hitting the States again then? Don’t get in the kind of trouble that you can’t get out of because you’re jealous.” - Price
“Garrick! Get your fuckin’ head off your cock, and on the exercise, before I shove my boot down your throat!” - Ghost (after he fumbled a training exercise twice)
Except for Soap, Soap backed his delusions %1,000. “She let you charge your phone when hers needed it more? That’s wedding bells lad, and I wanna be best man.” 
Then there was the relentless teasing every time he spent his leave with you, but Gaz didn’t care. He couldn’t bother being embarrassed when you were waiting for him. Your grin was for him, your excited laughter was for him, and your hug was for him. The one he always held longer than friends do, his heart racing when you relaxed in his hold. Smirking when he felt your nose brush over chest quickly. You were sheepish when he grinned down at you, realizing what you were doing.
You’d gotten him cologne on his first (date) daytime hangout with you. You’d been strolling through the mall, Gaz trying to make you forget about the ugly scene he’d walked into between you and your boyfriend when he arrived at your place.
You’d been so sad, and it didn’t suit you at all. He just wanted to take you out of that environment, and let your real-self blossom again.
His hand brushed with yours, pinkies locking and unlocking so he could feel his stomach dip again and again.
He was able to slowly bring you back, into a little world of inside jokes and friendly culture clashes. Gaz fully had you back by the time he stopped in front of an expensive looking fragrance shop and said:
“You know what? I need a new aftershave, but I’m clueless about shopping for that stuff.”
“Uh, aftershave?” you’d looked puzzled, peering into the store window. “Do they even sell that here?”
He let out a confused laugh, pointing at the bottles on the glass shelf. “We’re looking at it, so I’d guess yes.”
“You mean cologne?” you gave him your first real smile since you’d gotten there, and Gaz forgave yet another correction in favor of it.
“Get in here, and help me find an aftershave.”
He proposed that you guys find the perfect scent for the other and buy it as a gift. The two of you spent the better part of thirty minutes teasing and sniffing each other. Every time Gaz lifted a part of your arm or wrist to his nose, he let his lips brush across your skin accidentally.
“Kyyylee..” you whined every time, making him stir in the right places at the wrong time. 
Eventually you both settled on something for the other, but Kyle slyly placed himself in the position of paying for both. The thought of you paying never having been a real thing in his mind.
“You’ll get it next time, love.”
He treasured that scent, you’d specifically picked it out for him, and he’d savored the look you gave him when you’d finally found it. Now he was in front of you again.
“Yeah, it’s the one you bought me. Did me a good turn with that. I get compliments like they get paid to give ‘em.”
“Who’s complimenting you?” you asked, your wince revealing it’d probably come out sharper than you meant for it to.
Gaz didn’t mind, he liked you as jealous as he was. 
He chuckled, reaching out to squeeze your hand. “Just..other girls with good taste.”
Your pout and sharp head turn went right on display in the mental gallery he had of you. He couldn’t resist teasing you again.
“Are you wearing the one I picked.” he leaned down hovering just over your neck where he knew you could feel the soft puffs of breath on your neck. He heard your breath hitch when he hummed, confirming that you were.
“I am, and don’t worry about who’s complimenting it, since you have sooo many of your own.”
Gaz laughed as you yanked him after you with a huff. If he was delusional, you weren’t helping.
This visit was going how he imagined it, and he intended to end it exactly that way too. Finally getting that bastard out of a picture he should’ve never been a part of. 
When clubbing, Kyle kept you close. You both loved to dance, and every song that came on seemed out to prove that your bodies were built to fit together like a puzzle.
He took an interest in your life, wanting to see what you got up to when he wasn’t there. You’d resisted, thinking it’d bore him. It did not.
 He enjoyed meeting your co-workers, and eating at the cafe you loved a block from your job. You even took him to spend an afternoon with your family. Every time he scored a point with them, you gave him this dreamy expression he was determined to see for the rest of his life.
When he suggested making plans with your friends, so they didn’t feel like you were ignoring them while he was there, you were thrilled at how considerate he was, and he got the pleasure of overhearing you hype him up to your friends while you invited them out to do something.
It was you blocking your girlfriends every time one of them tried to push the flirtation with him too far, that let him know it was time.
He decided he would make his move when the two of you were having a movie night at your place. It wasn’t ideal, because that piece of shit was lingering around the place. Kyle hated that you lived together, but wouldn’t let that interfere. He had work to do.
“Kyyyleee.” you giggled, dragging his name out the way he loved when he ran a finger down your cheek to your neck, complimenting your skin.
“Just admiring your skin routine. You’ve gotta share.”
Or, when he shivered, and you instinctively extended your blanket to him. He took it without question, trying not to think about all of the things you could do under a shared blanket. Although, your boyfriend walking in and out of the room, pretending he had things to get out of the kitchen, made the thought more enticing.
You’d invited him to watch in earnest, and he’d just cut you down in a way that made Kyle quickly remind him he was in your apartment, because he’d lost his job, and had nowhere else to go. That you’d sweetly taken him in, and that he should remember that.
He enjoyed kicking him down while raising you up.
Your boyfriend finally just sat at the kitchen table in the dark, fuming. The living room was visible to him from there, but Kyle was glad to have him as an audience to him reminding you of your worth.
You two exchanged snacks and commentary, easily ignoring the unwanted third party.
“No offense love, but beer here is straight piss.”
You laughed, stealing one of the cookies left on his plate. “Beer tastes like that in general.”
“How would you know? You’ve never been anywhere.” your boyfriend snapped at you nastily, from where he’d been glaring at the two of you for an hour. “And why don't you go back to jolly old England if you hate it so much?”
Gaz lazily rolled his head in his direction, body language shouting how much he didn’t respect him. “Mate, you’re being a right prick right now. It’s not like you bought the beer, or anything else you’ve been shoving in that hole.”
Your boyfriend leapt to his feet, fast enough to knock over the chair. “Come over here and repeat that teacup.”
“Blud, that’s not what you want.”
“Kyle don’t, he’s just drunk and embarrassed. Ignore him when he’s like this.” you quickly passed a hand over the back of his, but he just gave you a soft smile instead. 
“That’s his problem, he embarrassed himself. Why don’t you go in the back and find something to do.” He was so effortlessly dismissive, that your boyfriend mistook this for being unprepared to fight.
Kyle’s one rule for his plan was that he wouldn’t physically handle your boyfriend unless he got physical with you. He’d planned to show you how you should be loved, and let a smart girl like you do the rest. That went out the window.
He kept it clean, the other man was stocky, but didn’t stand a chance against his training. If you hadn’t been there, he might’ve taken it further, grinding his hatred of him into harsher blows. Instead, he gave him quick, almost surgically effective, blows to put him down. He was too intoxicated and unskilled to retaliate. 
“See, he just needed a nap.” Gaz tried to lighten the mood.
“I’m so embarrassed,” you whispered. “I don’t know why he’s always like this now. He didn’t use to be. I just want this to stop.”
Kyle shushed you, crossing the room to pull you into his arms. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. You’ve been dealing with this for too long.”
“I’m so tired.” you admitted, clutching his soft shirt, and inhaling his scent (your scent, that you gave him) that made your eyes roll back in your head. He was so solid, warm, and a darker word popped into your mind, ‘mine.’
“You’ve been so good to everyone, too good. Let me take care of you.” he whispered, hands roaming from your lower back to cup your ass.
He heard the hybrid of a whimper-moan, and it had him at attention before you were done.
“I’d be just like him…” you trailed off weakly.
“That’s not possible.” He lowered his lips to yours, giving you the first kiss from him that couldn’t possibly be mistaken as platonic. You kissed back without any hesitation, not even willing to pull away when he started to lead you to the back. To your room.
Hate him as he did, Gaz noted somewhere in his mind how dark the scenario was. The location, and situation, in which he was about to fulfill the second-to-last step of his plan was kind of fucked.
He cupped your jaw in both hands,“Babe…we can go back to my room at the hotel.”
He didn’t want to. He wanted to erase any trace of him here, starting in your room. He wanted you everywhere he could have you in the apartment, and he wanted him to come to just enough to hear it.
“Makes no sense. Too far. Here.” you murmured, pupils blown wide. 
Gaz didn’t need to be told twice. You were barely able to string a sentence together, and it was top three one of the hottest things he’d ever heard.
“Yes ma'am.” 
Kyle didn’t doubt you’d complete the final step in the morning, and officially dump the forgotten man on the floor.
Johnny:
You and Johnny met through social media. He thought you were gorgeous and, being John “Soap” MacTavish, couldn’t leave your profile without letting you know. Though he threw in some playful critique.
You responded with a thanks, and a challenge for him to do the picture better. It resulted in a months-long photo battle that quickly became a real friendship.
Late phone calls, video calls, and constant strings of texting built a whole world between the two of you. 
You were the highlight of his day sometimes, especially when he’d been gone awhile. You helped him reconnect with the world after shutting it out to defend it.
The only problem was your boyfriend. Johnny prided himself on being able to get along with all kinds of people. It was just in his nature. Hate was so rarely felt by him, that he always had trouble identifying it when he felt it. 
He felt hate for your boyfriend, and it didn’t take him long to figure that out. He thought he didn’t deserve you. He was always talking to you reckless, like he didn’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in his life. Johnny wouldn’t talk to you like that, he wouldn’t have time to even consider it for all the worshiping of you he’d be doing. 
He’d cheated, only to make you feel like that was on you, and you took him back. 
When Johnny heard your pained sobs for the first time, he’d been halfway through texting Simon to ask for help with a dark favor before he was able to talk himself down.
It was then Johnny realized how much you’d come to mean to him, and that only made him hate your boyfriend more.
Your conversations ranged from anything to everything, but they always ended with you venting, and Johnny comforting. He didn’t mind it, in fact, most times he initiated it.
He realized, he must mean a good deal to you too, because you got all your comfort from him. Johnny’s thoughts mattered to you, and you sought his advice all the time. He hated what for, but he loved that you did.
“He didn’t even like the dress Johnny. I told him you thought of it, and he accused me of wanting to wear it for you.” your screen shook violently as you stomped into your bedroom, sending said garment sailing through the air.
“M’sorry to hear that. I meant what I said when you showed it to me in the shop. Any guy that doesn’t lose it to you in that dress deserves to be committed.”
You sniffed, choking out a humorless chuckle. “I’m glad you liked it at least.”
“Oh, you don’t ken how much sweetheart. In fact, put it on for me again.”
Six months into the friendship, he convinced you to come visit him in Scotland. You’d been having more trouble with your boyfriend than usual, living with him didn’t exactly give you a lot of places to take a breather.
Once Johnny confirmed he hadn’t hurt you physically, he’d switched to coaxing you into coming to see him for a couple of weeks.
“C’mon bonnie, I’ve been stateside more times than I can count. You haven’t been here once.” He watched you do your bedtime routine, as the sun came up in the windows behind him.
He loved how despite being countries away, the moment felt as intimate as if you were with him. In his home, getting ready to come to bed with him. Except if you were, he’d tell you not to bother brushing your hair. You’d just have to do it again later.
You laughed as you ran a comb through your hair. “It’s not like you came here for me Johnny. We didn’t even know each other the last time you were here.”
“So…you’ll return the favor later. Be my pretty tour guide.”
You wound up in Scotland barely a week later. A suitcase full of clothes haphazardly thrown into it.
“I don’t even know what I packed, it's a mess!” 
Cue Johnny, who can’t quit hugging you, and they feel less and less platonic. “Don’t worry ‘bout it bon. I’ll find somewhere for it all to go.”
Somewhere turns out to be designated drawers and shelves, that he’d cleared in advance, for your clothes and bath products. Johnny putting them away himself like the simp for you he is. All the while distracting you from stating how you wouldn’t be there long, and you don’t need all that space. 
“We’ll see.”
Johnny had been coaxing less and less innocent behaviors out of you all week, and just worshiping you when he wasn’t. You were a worked up hybrid of desperation, and restored self-confidence. It was addictive, and you started to lean into Johnny’s touches and kisses. You pretended you didn’t hear his murmured dirty statements so he’d have to try again and again.
It came to a head when you finally accepted a video call from your pathetic boyfriend. 
You were in Johnny’s living room, wearing his favorite football jersey, with him behind you, absolutely refusing to make himself scarce. You didn’t want to take the call anyway, but Johnny convinced you it’d be good for closure.
Your boyfriend started going off, yelling about how you didn’t respect him or your relationship, and demanding that ‘you bring your ass home’.
“The thing of it is lad, there’s not really anything about this relationship to respect.” Johnny slipped around to your side, tilting your head up to press his lips to yours. 
You hummed in surprise, but all of his gentle touches and sweet kisses over the week had you pliant. You immediately responded, squeezing his arm when he slipped his tongue into your mouth as a tease.
He pulled away, looking way too smug, and looking all the more impossibly-handsome for it. “Say bye to your ex-boyfriend then bon. The rest of this isn’t for him.”
You gurgled something like goodbye as you slammed the lid on your laptop, attention still fully on Johnny.
John Price:
Price thought your fiance should crawl in a fire and stay there. Yeah. He wasn’t ashamed.
The man was garbage, and hardly worth you giving him a glance, let alone this much sacrifice. You’d moved countries for him, happy to make your home with him because of his job. He treated it as though that should’ve been a given.
That’s how Price had gotten to know you. You lived in the apartment across the hall from him, and the first moment you smiled at him, John was a goner.
You introduced yourself with a smile, your pretty little hand extended out towards him. He’d stood there, wishing he hadn’t worn his ratty sweatshirt with his old football team logo in fading letters. You looked gorgeous, hair framing your face, slightly out of breath from lugging in your things.
He’d stumbled in his mind until he finally remembered proper social protocol. “Price…Captain John.” He cleared his throat. “Captain John Price.”
Your mouth formed an ‘o’, you were visibly intrigued.“Captain? You’re in the military.”
“Yes.” 
“Well…thank you for your service.” 
Normally, John didn’t react to that line as expected. He’d heard it enough times to wish he had a pound for every time, but that was about it. He didn’t do his job for thanks, and sometimes felt they shouldn’t be for him anyways.
Coming from you however, it was different. He had the reaction he knew most people wanted. He knew from the heat in his cheeks and the tips of his ears, they were red.
Your fiancé, who’d appeared in the doorway behind you, stole his chance to answer.
“Yeah, thanks or whatever. (Y/N), come in here and figure out where you want your hair crap to go. I’m just going to toss it anywhere in a moment.”
“Oh, you could’ve just put it under the sink.” 
“You should be getting ready anyways, we have a dinner engagement.” He adjusted his shirt cuffs, eyeing John like he was picturing ways he could kill him.
John wanted to see him try just one.
“Bye John,” you gave a wave, a soft smile on your lips. “I’ll see you.”
You disappeared inside, leaving the two men in a stare down. There was a silent conversation at play, what your fiancé wanted to say was stated without a word. How much John cared about that was conveyed in the same manner.
Your fiancé broke first, slamming the door behind him. 
“We’ll see if I’ll stay away.” He muttered, going into his own place.
Over that first month, you two got to know each other well. Your fiance was often at work, and you turned to John with your questions as you tried to settle into your new home. You had no one else there, and even though John had planned to decompress in complete isolation, he couldn’t do that to you. Didn’t have a part of his being that wanted to. 
However, as John got to know you, he got to know your fiance too. Enough to know if he was ever going to murder someone outside of work, it’d be him.
It started with small things like what takeout you should go for, or which grocery store did he use? It seemed your fiance was useless.
One day, you needed help putting together your beauty table. You’d come to John, clearly embarrassed, and something told him you’d debated on asking him for a while. Your fiance refused, because you hadn’t paid attention when you were checking out, and didn’t select the construction help option.
“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me love. You mean to tell me that he never made a mistake?” John was already coming out of his apartment, ready to help.
“It’s stupid, but I don’t feel like arguing with him over it. We’re in an ok place right now.” you laughed awkwardly, leading him inside.
“Ok probably isn’t a place you want to be when you’re headed for the church.” it came out of his mouth before he could think about how it wasn’t his place.
He was so used to being blunt, and dealing out cold, hard facts or opinions. It always took him a minute to readjust to what was appropriate, but by then he was back on duty.
You looked stunned, clearly not expecting that from him. Your arms crossed defensively, giving him a side glance while you mulled over responding. 
He meant what he said, but he never would’ve delivered it to you that way, or at all, if he had thought two seconds more.
“‘M sorry. It’s really not my place is it?” he gestured to the back of the apartment. “Where do you need me?”
There were many more opportunities to spend time with you, and with them, opportunities to point out the toxicity he was seeing. It wasn’t in John’s nature to ignore obvious problems, he got paid to do the opposite. He had to resign himself every time so he didn’t upset you.
With every time he gave you directions, or answered a local cultural difference that confused you, you two lingered in each other’s presence a little longer. He wasn’t going to spoil that. 
Your requests started to leave the territory of furniture building and directions, and started to cross more into trying a new recipe, and how you could do better at fitting into your new home. Your conversations started to get deeper, more information about each other being shared.
There were times where you dropped off food, having made too much, or your fiance didn’t want what you cooked. John loved your cooking as it was, he normally lived off whatever he could grab and nuke, but he threw in extra enthusiasm for spite and your pretty smile. 
Sometimes John found reasons to come over to your place. 
“Share a cake love? Don’t get excited, I picked it up at the shops.” “Just bringing back your bowl.” “I can take a look at that window if maintenance is still laying about.”
And without fail, you made him stay every time. You got lonely, and you still knew very few people in the area outside of him. Your fiance didn’t seem to care, he felt he’d set you up with plenty of friends in his circle. John called them posh knobheads, and you couldn’t agree more. You had nothing in common with them, and you always wound up back with John to vent.
He found it easier to talk to you than he had anybody else, and from the never ending conversation between you two, he guessed you felt the same. The topic of the nature of your relationship was verboten, but that was fine by him. By that point, he was more interested in making you forget you even had a fiance. He really hadn’t even made an effort to do it, it just tilted that way, and he leaned into it.
You weren’t exactly stopping his flirtatious comments, in fact, you seemed to light up in ways he hadn’t seen until then.
Then came the outings. As your fiance got more negligent, you got bolder. It started with you taking a chance to invite John to a movie when you two bumped into each other in the mailroom. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone to the cinema, and he couldn’t say what was playing if someone held a gun to his head, but ‘don’t see why not’ fell out of his mouth with no resistance.
Then it was shopping together, or you dragging him to a museum and him bullshitting his art knowledge to make you laugh. He didn’t normally spend his time off being this active socially. He decompressed, and prepared for the next assignment. Maybe he’d meet a woman at a pub and bang out some release before getting back into formation.
He’d wondered if he would regret doing things differently on his next deployment, but that stopped the first time someone mistook the two of you for a couple. That alone would’ve been enough for him to keep his delusions (that he definitely did not have) going, but it was the fact that you didn’t correct them. It happened again, and if he thought he imagined things, he hadn’t. You never corrected the person, just gave a coy smile and accepted the compliment.
Well if you didn’t, he certainly wasn’t going to.
The final time that John could say he only found you attractive, instead of wanting you completely, you’d come to him to ask him if he could drive you to a little farmer’s market outside of the city. Things hadn’t been going well with you and your fiance.
You didn’t have to tell John, he could attest to that himself. He’d heard your arguments in his place, and between the noise level, and trying to make sure it didn't go to a place where you weren’t safe, he wasn’t getting much sleep.
Your plan was to cook your fiance a favorite meal from his childhood, using nothing but farm fresh ingredients. You figured that all you needed to get things on track was a quiet night in, focused on reminding each other why you were engaged. John nearly bit through his tongue to keep himself from bringing up the fact that it seemed the workload on maintaining the relationship fell solely on your shoulders.
Instead, he shoved his bucket hat on his head, and lied about needing to head out that way anyways.
The car ride started out quiet on his part, with you filling in the conversation. Price may have flexed his fingertips in jealousy more times than he could count, but you were so goddamn beautiful when you were excited. It almost hurt to look at you head on, so he gave you side glances to show he was listening.
At the market, your excitement didn’t die down. In fact, it turned into infectious playfulness. You two teased each other, engaged in playful scams to get more samples, and dared each other to come up with crazier and crazier stories about yourselves for the owner of each stall you visited.
Price would die twice before he admitted that he imagined you were on a date a couple times during the day. You never brought your fiance up, and he had to remind you to check your grocery list more than once.
It was late afternoon when you returned to the car, laden with goodies and constructing inside jokes. John was enjoying his time with you so much, he almost forgot he had to tell you he was shipping out the following week. He didn’t know if you’d care so much as to need an announcement in advance, but he felt he should.
 He was worried about you, and he would think of you wherever he was bound to wind up, hoping you’d come to your senses and leave the garbage behind. Of course, he’d miss you…and he certainly wasn’t under any delusion that when you’d taken out the trash, maybe you’d consider him.
“Why’re you so quiet?” you’d squeezed his bicep to get his attention, and he instinctively pushed his arm into your hands, encouraging the touch.
It was quiet for a moment, before you slowly uncurled your fingertips, and placed your hands in your lap. His face flooded with embarrassed warmth. 
Had he gone too far by leaning into the physical?
Price white-knuckle-gripped the steering wheel, swallowing down what he thought was a rejection he had no right to be hurt about, and cleared his throat. “Right. I’m heading out next week, and it won’t be short. Just thought you should know.”
Whatever reaction he expected from you, it wasn’t the one you gave.
“What?” You placed a hand on your chest, and then rolled your eyes. “Well that’s great.”
John gave you a bewildered expression, and it must've shown, because you quickly straightened up and faced forward. 
“I don’t know about great, but it is my job. The one I was quite clear about when we first met.”
“Pull over.” you said so quickly, he wasn’t even sure you’d heard his response.
“What? Why? Are you feeling il-”
“No..just..please.” you gestured to the side of the road.
He obliged, brows drawn tight and carrying all of his questions. “Your boy is going to be home soon, and we still have a bit of a drive ahead of us. What-”
“I wanted to come here because of you.” you breathed out, still facing forward, your posture almost impossibly rigid.
“Me? You’re not making much sense (Y/N).” 
You huffed, and when you turned to him, your expression took his breath away. In that moment he could read every thought you were thinking, and it would’ve bowled him over if he wasn’t sitting.
He felt electricity beneath his skin, the feeling he got any time he was about to do something drastic and dangerous.
It was the little hidden thing in your eyes that he couldn’t place that gave him pause.
“I came here, because I wanted to get away with you for today. I needed to.” you turned your whole body to him. “I don’t give a fuck about fresh ingredients for him, he probably won’t eat it anyways.”
You huffed, rolling your eyes. “We agreed to start over. And I’m going to try, I really am, but…I still can’t stop feeling need.”
In the looming silence, all John could do was scratch his beard, and try not to look as stupid as he was sure he did. He knew what you were saying, what you were toeing at, but surely you were just venting. You couldn’t-
“S’not right love.” Now it was his turn to look ahead. “Not for him, fuck him. For you. You’re upset and you’re scared, and you're raw.”
“And I need this.” you breathed. “If you’re trying to protect me, stop. If you don’t want me in that way..ok, I’m a big gi-”
“Oooh,” his voice came from deep in his chest, baritone thrumming through the car. “That’s not it. I promise you, that’s.not.it.”
Your fingertips gently pulled his face in your direction. “You’re leaving me…and when you get back things are going to have to be different.”
There it was. John swallowed, hard. 
“I’m being selfish, but..I thought I’d have a little more time with you before..” Your eyes watered. “It’d be one thing if you really were just my friend, but that’s not right is it?”
John wiped at your eyes with his thumb before cupping his cheek in his hand. “No, it’s not.”
“Just one time.”
It was a struggle to say no to you, and that didn’t stop now. He pulled your mouth to his, hands gripping your shoulders in a subconscious effort to prove this was happening. You were in front of him, kissing him back as hard as he was kissing you.
He unbuckled you, and pulled you into his lap, sliding the seat back. 
“I’m gonna miss you.” you were crying now, and neither one of you did anything about the tears.
His hands cupped the back of your head, fingers gently threading through your hair. “Oh, sweet girl. Why didn’t you meet me sooner?”
What transpired after was the most bittersweet moment he could recall. He had heartbreaks and troubled relationships before, but he’d never had to have a breakup with a woman he wasn’t sure he’d been seeing in the first place, but knew that he loved.
He took you twice in his car, before finally, the two of you could no longer ignore the setting sun and had to return home.
John remembered why he preferred to take a girl somewhere quickly, and then spend the rest of his leave in solitude, occasionally seeing a trusted friend. It wasn’t as fulfilling as what he had with you, but it didn’t hurt this deeply either.
He sat in his apartment for hours after he watched you disappear into your own. He didn’t even bother turning on a light when it got too dark, he just sat there, continuing to contemplate how things had gotten to be such a mess. How could he continue to pride himself on being the logical leader he thought he was, when he’d made such a mess of himself so quickly?
How was he supposed to forget you? How was he supposed to forget that he loved you, and that you loved him with another man’s ring on your finger?
The thought of seeing you, carrying your fiance’s child, and looking miserable during what should’ve been one of the happiest times of your life made Price leap from the couch. That familiar electricity raising every hair on his person to a point.
He didn’t know what he was doing, or what he was going to say, but he was moving like he’d planned it for months.
When he stepped into the hall, he paused.
You were sitting on the plush hall couch, eyes puffy, with a death grip on a pyrex dish. Your hair was perfectly styled, and you were wearing a low-cut silken dress that made him want to fall to his knees now that he knew what lay beneath. Your eyes widened at the sight of him, trying to curb your sniffles.
“I was right, he wouldn’t eat it. He got mad and left.”
“You should’ve made him wear it instead.” John’s fist clenched at his side, itching to do what he wanted from the moment he first saw him get short with you.
You shook your head, rising to your feet. “I don’t blame him this time. I didn’t make it for him, anymore than I shopped for it with him in mind, and I told him so.”
You held up the dish, and John saw it was his favorite. His idea of a perfect Sunday roast in one pot. Your meaning was clear.
“I just kept thinking, it shouldn’t be this hard. I mean, it shouldn’t be, right?” you stepped forward.
“No, it shouldn’t be.” He also took a step forward.
“It’s not that way with you.” Another step.
“I would hope not.” he also took another step
You stopped when all that separated the two of you was the dish.
“So this belongs to me then?” he was staring at the dish, but his hands gently grasped your wrists.
You, however, were looking directly at him when you breathed out. “Yes.”
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the-travelling-witch · 1 year ago
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𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋
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summary: having your period is already stressful enough and being in the devildom doesn't make it any better; luckily, these demons are here to help
pairings: mammon :: belphegor :: barbatos x reader
warnings: period-having reader (gn pronouns), blood, mild cramps
a/n: this is literally so self-indulgent, as everything i write is, but whenever i'm on my period thinking of scenarios like this helps me sit through cramps, so i thought i'd share the nonesense with you ♡
obey me masterlist || similar writing: twisted pains [twst]
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𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍
“Human! Open ya damn door!”
“No, please let me die in peace,” you whined from underneath your blankets as the banging against your door continued.
“If ya don’t let me in right now, I’ll kick it down, ya hear me?!” You could practically see Mammon pacing a ridge into the floor in front of your room, so you trudged over there and unlocked it, the demon almost colliding with you from how quickly he opened the door. His snow-white hair was sticking up from his head as if he’d run his hands through it without noticing. “What’s the big deal makin’ me wait so damn long, huh?”
“I told you I’m trying to pass away from this life,” you deadpanned, trudging back to your bed, groaning as another cramp twisted your lower stomach. “First, I have to deal with this shit in a house full of male demons who are absolutely not prepared to handle a human exchange student on their period. And second-“
You paused, for both dramatic flair and to take a calming breath. Then, you turned around and gave Mammon a saccharine smile dipping pure venom.
“I find out that apparently the entire Devildom can smell that I’m on my period if I step a foot out the bloody door.”
“Listen, I’m sorry.” Mammon held up his hands to plead his innocence. “I didn’t mean ta be so rude about it. But in my defence, I didn’t know it’s a normal thing for humans to just start bleedin’. I thought ya were dyin’!”
You painfully remembered how you had dragged yourself out of your room this morning, after luckily finding some hygiene products in the bag you had with you when you were whisked away to the Devildom unannounced (thank the sky guy you threw them into literally every bag and purse you owned). Already in a bad mood, you’d plopped down into your designated seat, ready to fight for your breakfast, only to feel six pairs of eyes on you.
“What?” You had asked, when nobody passed you the bread basket.
That had been when Mammon, eyes as wide as the coaster under your mug, almost jump-scared you into dropping your butter knife. 
“WHY ARE YA BLEEDIN’?!” He’d already pulled you from your chair and started inspecting you for any signs of injuries, tugging your arms up and inspecting your head. “Are ya hurt anywhere?”
“Mammon, I’m fine. You can let go of me now.” You almost had to wrestle your arm back from him, heat already creeping up your cheeks. 
“Clearly yer not!”
Exhaling deeply you said through gritted teeth “I’m on my period, if you have to know.”
The demons around the table had exchanged glances, but sadly only three of them had held a spark of understanding, those being Satan, Levi and Asmodeus. Mammon and Beel on the other hand seemed more lost (well, Beel actually had his eyes on his food but that was beside the point) and Lucifer’s face had been unreadable.
“Woah, periods are an actual thing?” Levi had asked incredulously, his voice somewhere between shock and awe. “I thought anime made those up for the sake of the plot.”
“I see,” Satan had given you hope. “I‘ve read about those before in some books on human anatomy but I didn’t think it was a big deal, seeing as it wasn’t talked about much.”
“Satan, pray tell, from when were those books?” 
“The 18th century perhaps?” He shrugged, tilting his head.
“Well, that explains a lot,” you had sighed, whereas Asmo had just dropped his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry about them, hon. But demons don’t experience periods, so I doubt any of them will be much help,” he had squeezed your hand sympathetically.
Lucifer had cleared his throat then. “Well, it appears that we have some catching up to do, now that we are hosting a human exchange student. Given your…predicament, you are allowed to stay home from RAD as long as this affects you.”
You had sighed a breath of relief.
“In exchange, however,” Lucifer had continued, making you dread the next words to leave his mouth, “it will fall to you that my brothers are properly educated on how to handle this side of humanity.”
So, that afternoon, you had found yourself in the common room, holding a presentation on the menstrual cycle in front of the brothers… and the future demon king himself. Yes, of course, Diavolo had gotten wind of your situation and simply couldn’t pass up the opportunity to learn more about humans. At least, him being in the know meant you’d never have to worry about getting period products imported to the Devildom ever again.
Subsequently, you had locked yourself in your room, curled up under a blanket as you scrolled through Devilgram trying to forget this whole ordeal happened. A good hour later, Mammon had started pounding against your door like a madman.
With him standing in your room now, you could see the bag he was holding as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you patted the spot next to you.
“I’ll forgive you. It would have been more embarrassing if I went to RAD without knowing,” you said placatingly. “Anyways, what’s that?”
“Oh, it’s nothin’…” Mammon trailed off, looking anywhere but you as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just… Ya were sayin’ this stuff could help and we didn’t have any, so I went and got some for ya… Only because Lucifer would string me from the ceiling if ya went and complained! That’s all!”
Taking the plastic bag from him, you peered inside to see various types of human world painkillers, a hot water bottle and chocolates. Despite what the demon had just said, you noted that the chocolate brand he bought was the one you liked best, something you had only dropped in a passing sentence when you talked to Asmo about a new trending dessert.
“Thank you, Mammon,” you smiled genuinely. “That actually is really helpful.”
“Really?” He managed to suppress his grin before it curled further than the corner of his lips before clearing his throat and hiding half his face behind his hand. “I mean, I’m only doin’ ma job, ya know? So Lucifer gives me back Goldie!”
“Sure you are,” you laughed, the first time since your day started.  “Does your job also involve staying with me and watching a movie?”
“Yeah!” This time he was too late to hide his excitement, then he caught himself and tried again, calmer this time. “I uh- I could fit ya in my super busy schedule. Gotta make sure ya don’t die after all, huh?”
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𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑
What a horrible way to start your day.
Well, under other circumstances, it would’ve been near perfect. Waking up snuggled comfortably in your boyfriend’s tight hold as he lightly snored into the crook of your neck, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. 
If it wasn’t for the unpleasant twisting of your lower stomach you might have turned around and slept the morning away. Still slightly groggy, you sat up in bed, hoping dearly it was just a fleeting stomach ache or hunger and not your period, despite the clear symptoms. 
All hope was shattered however, when you shifted and you knew instantly that you could kiss this pair of underwear goodbye. With some effort, you wriggled out of Belphie’s vice grip, looking back at the sleepy demon as he groaned in protest only to see a large blood stain where you’d just lain. At your shocked gasp echoing around the attic, you watched his brows knit together and his nose wriggle, his forehead creasing as if he was deep in thought. Then, he blinked his eyes open.
“What’s—“ he cut himself off with a yawn, “What’s wrong? Are you alright? What are you doing over there?”
“Belphie… I’m so sorry,” you nearly sobbed, guilt bubbling up in you. In combination with your hormones being all over the place and your still sleep-addled mind, tears were threatening to form along your waterline.
In a heartbeat, the Avatar of Sloth was up and next to you, pulling you into a hug and bringing your head to rest against his shoulder, one hand smoothing over your hair, the other holding you close by the waist. You’d never seen him move this fast this early in the morning.
“Hey, hey, what’s up?” He gently prodded, voice still raspy with sleep but soft nonetheless. “Please talk to me, starlight.”
“It’s— Your sheets, I’m so sorry… I didn’t know…” You buried your face deeper in the fabric draping over his chest as you felt him turn his head towards the bed. Then, a beat of silence spanned across the attic.
“That’s what you’re fussing about?”
“Yeah, I mean—“ Collecting your thoughts, you began again. “It’s gross and a pain to clean. I really should’ve known that—“
“Hey, look at me.” Tilting your face towards his, your eyes met amethyst ones as you followed the guidance of his fingers underneath your chin. “It’s not gross, you hear me? No part of you could ever be.”
“But the blood-“
“I’m a demon, might I remind you. You’d think I can handle a little blood.” There was a caring seriousness in his gaze that made you weak in the knees, the love and adoration you found swirling within almost making you cry for a whole other reason. “You didn’t actually think I’d be mad at you about something so natural, did you?”
“It’s generally a bit of a taboo topic and conversations about it can be quite stigmatised, so…,” you shrugged.
“You’re telling me half the population go through this every month and the topic is hushed up anyway? You’re already stressed enough and people give you crap for something like this?” You nodded at his incredulous tone. “Well that’s just stupid.”
For a moment, Belphie just held you, his fingers tracing random shapes into your hip. Then, he pulled you towards a dresser in the corner of the room, never letting go of you completely. 
With how much time you had started spending in the attic it was a somewhat natural course of nature that your clothes would gradually end up moving here as well. Pulling out a fresh pair of underwear and a pair of black sweatpants, you didn’t have time to reach for a sweater before a soft pile of fabric was already pushed into your hands. Upon closer inspection, you identified it to be one of Belphie’s hoodies.
“I know you like wearing them,” he merely shrugged off your raised eyebrow. “Now go and take your time washing up, but make sure to come back straight away when you’re done.”
Practically herding you out of the door, you almost had to snort at the irony of the Avatar of Sloth encouraging you to do something you might not have had the energy to otherwise. But you were incredibly thankful for it because when the shower’s warm water hit you, you noticed how much you needed this, feeling born anew after scrubbing your skin clean.
Climbing back up the stairs to the attic, you already felt a lot calmer than when you had woken up, swaddled in Belphie’s cloud-like hoodie (seriously, where did he find fabric like that?) and surrounded by a mixture of his scent and your body wash.
When you pushed open the attic door, you blinked at the new set of sheets Belphie was lounging on, the old ones nowhere to be seen. Even without you moving, the demon perked up at your presence, extending one arm to coax you back into bed.
“What are you still doing over there? Come here,” he said, voice already drowsy again. “There’s still some morning left to be slept away.”
Who were you to refuse? Sliding under the covers next to him, you turned and twisted into whatever pretzel position made you cramp the least before two strong arms wrapped around you. This was another perk of being with Belphie; if anyone could accommodate weird sleeping positions, it was him.
Warm hands found their way under his hoodie, his palms pressed flatly against your lower back where most of your pain was coming from, while the hips of his fingers slowly caressed the surrounding skin.
“Feeling better?” He mumbled into the crown of your head.
“Mhm, much better,” you breathed into the crook of his neck, sighing as his natural body heat slowly eased some of the constant pressure in both your lower stomach and back. “How did you know about the back pain though?”
“You always complain about it, especially on the first day,” he replied nonchalantly, as if it was the most natural thing to know. 
“How did I get so lucky,” you mused, your tone playful but just as genuine. “Makes me feel even worse about ruining your sheets.”
“Literally don’t worry about it, you do too much of that anyway. I left them with Asmo, he knows how to get just about any stain out of stuff.” You tried not to think about the specifics of where that expertise came from, so you rolled your eyes at the very typical behaviour of the youngest to dump his work on his brothers. Then you stiffened. Work. Chores. You were on grocery shopping duty today. “What’s the matter now?”
“I have to go out soon and get everything we need for dinner,” you sighed. Maybe you could convince someone to trade it with an indoor chore for the week.
Before you could reach for your D.D.D, the arms around you held you a little closer to the demon you were snuggled up against, one of his legs draping over your thigh, careful not to put too much pressure on you as he tangled your legs with his.
“Well that’s too bad,” Belphie mumbled into your hair, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of your head. “Looks like Lucifer has to find someone else for the job. Because you’ll be busy all day.”
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𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒
Periods had the annoying habit of showing up whenever they pleased, which mostly meant whenever it was most inconvenient for you. Being well aware of that fact didn’t mean you were any more prepared for it to happen, though. 
So, as you were running errands around RAD with Barbatos, it suddenly felt like your insides were squeezed together and wrung out like a washcloth, making you stagger and pause to steady yourself again. When your companion turned to ask if you were alright, you assured him everything was fine, hoping it was just one bad cramp that would ebb away soon.
But over the course of the next fifteen minutes, it progressively got worse and you had trouble focusing on the task at hand, shifting uncomfortably in your seat as you sorted through student council documents. As you reached for a new stack of files, gloved hands came to rest over yours, preventing you from picking up more work.
“You should not overexert yourself, dear,” a soft voice spoke close to your ear. On other occasions, you would have welcomed the way his hands smoothed down your shoulders when it was just the two of you for once, but you couldn’t think about anything but the pain you were experiencing. “Without meaning to offend, you’re looking rather unwell. Allow me to take you to the Demon Lord’s Castle.”
“What about work?” You mumbled but didn’t resist as he pulled you to your feet, steadying you with a hand between your shoulder blades. “And Diavolo?”
“Do not worry about that. There’s no rush to complete these files and the Young Master has given the explicit order for me to take care of you,” Barbatos smiled as he led you out of RAD, careful to avoid as much unwanted attention as possible. “An order I was all too happy to comply with, might I add.”
“So you knew,” you sighed with a smile, not actually too surprised at the revelation. “I did think it was suspicious to have you all to myself the entire day. Do I even have to ask how you knew?”
“Well, as you have come to learn, demons are far more perceptive to certain reactions of the body, hormonal changes included,” he explained matter of factly. “Aside from that, however, I have also made it a priority to learn the rhythm of your body to best care for you.”
“You track my cycle? Despite being so busy already?” You turn your head to look at him in surprise.
“Of course. Not only are you an honoured exchange student, you are also someone who is immensely important to me,” he said as he held the castle door open for you, his verdant gaze full of adoration. “Naturally, I aim to ease your strains and alleviate some of the burden you carry.”
“You really don’t have to—“
“But I want to.” Taking your hand in his, the fabric of his gloves soft against your skin, he brushed your knuckles with a featherlight kiss. “Please allow me to take care of you, my love.”
“I guess I can’t say no when you ask like that,” you laughed sheepishly. Your body seemingly agreed with you as it sent another wave of cramps to make your knees buckle. 
“You must be exhausted,” Barbatos said, no doubt picking up on your unease immediately. “Let me draw you a warm bath to ease some of your tension.”
Said, done. Soon thereafter, you were sinking into a tub that probably cost more than a normal person’s house, the water the absolute perfect temperature to relax your muscles. You also noted how there were no strong scents present, only the hint of something floral and calming, but not overwhelmingly so.
After some time of soaking in the bath and with your permission, Barbatos stepped back into the bathroom. First, he wrapped you in the fluffiest black towel, carefully patting your skin dry so as to not irritate it. Then, he applied a moisturising lotion, gently kneading out any knots in your legs and shoulders with his skilled fingers before helping you into a new set of clothes which felt light as feathers against your skin. 
He also showed you where to find any sort of hygiene product you might need and, to nobody’s surprise, somebody had stocked the guest bathroom you used whenever you came over with every possible product there was.
In your guest room, Barbatos guided you over to the sofa and lounge chairs underneath one of the high windows where a tea set was already waiting for you on the table in the middle. 
“I took the liberty to prepare some tea and a few pastries while you were bathing. This blend has soothing qualities and is known to help with cramping. Given your usual choice of tea, I also think the aroma will be to your taste,” the demon explained and, as always, you were stunned by his level of attention to detail. 
As he poured it, you noticed, however, that there was only one cup on the table and instead of getting one for himself, Barbatos went to fetch a hot water bottle. 
Wrapping it in a cloth he warned you to be careful not to burn yourself before announcing he’d start preparations for dinner, letting you know he’d be making your favourite. But before he could turn to leave, you caught his wrist, a surprised expression flitting over his face for just a second.
“If it’s not too much trouble,” you started, holding his gaze, “would you join me for tea? It’s been a while since we sat down together.”
At your request his face smoothed over into a fond smile, the hand in your grasp coming up to brush over your cheekbone. 
“I suppose dinner can wait a little longer,” he said, clearly as happy as you to spend time with you. “Then again, even if it couldn’t, I’d find it hard to leave you. Especially when your wish and mine are so closely intertwined.”
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