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jakesaverse · 6 months ago

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ECHOES OF YESTERDAY | JAKE SIM CH.3

Synopsis: On her 21st birthday, Y/n wakes up overwhelmed by guilt and sorrow. It’s not just her birthday; it’s also the third anniversary of her high school boyfriend Jake’s tragic death. Surviving the accident that took Jake’s life, Y/n is haunted by memories of their love and the future they lost. In a moment of desperate longing, she makes a wish to see Jake again and is miraculously transported back in time to when Jake was alive. However, she finds that Jake now hates her, adding a new layer of pain and confusion. Determined to change his fate and earn his tolerance, she resolves to do everything in her power to ensure he escapes death this time.

Reader: Jake x reader

Authors note: Hello! I know it’s been awhile since I’ve uploaded or really updated about my process and I am SOOOO sorry 😭. I’ve had a pretty rough writers block right after I posted my second chapter. And I’m still having it but it’s slowly getting better ❤️‍🩹. This chapter is more on the emotional side ( all of them have been but yk what I mean I hope). Also, this is meant to be slow burn so please keep that in mind. Anyways, thank you for your patience and hopefully it was worth the wait 🥰! Thank you for your support 🫶🫶!!

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Jake jolted awake, drenched in sweat, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest. The remnants of the nightmare clung to his mind, vivid and tormenting. He could still see the shadows closing in, suffocating him, and the echo of Y/N's words, "I’m trying to save you," haunting his every thought.

He sat up, gasping for air, and looked around his dimly lit room. The broken mirror on the wall caught his eye, a cruel reminder of his earlier outburst. Anger and despair had driven him to punch it, shattering both the glass and a piece of himself.

Jake's hand trembled as he reached for the first aid kit on his bedside table. His wrist was still bleeding, the pain sharp and relentless. He wrapped the bandage around it, each twist of the fabric feeling like a futile attempt to hold himself together.

As he tightened the bandage, tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn't escape the image of the man in the mirror—so lost, so alone. The reflection was a stark contrast to the facade he showed the world. In truth, he was drowning in his own isolation, burdened by the weight of his past and the guilt that gnawed at his soul.

Y/N's words echoed louder now, cutting through the silence of the room. "I’m trying to save you ." At first, he had dismissed her as crazy, but now those words felt like a lifeline. Why did he need to be saved? What did she see in him that he couldn't see in himself?

Jake's thoughts spiraled as he tried to make sense of it all. He thought about his life, the constant feeling of not being enough, and the relentless self-blame. He had pushed everyone away, convinced that he didn't deserve their love or friendship. The loneliness was suffocating.

And yet, Y/N's words had pierced through his defenses. Despite everything, they had reached him. Maybe, just maybe, she was right. Maybe he did need saving—from his anger, his guilt, and the darkness that consumed him.

As he looked at the shattered mirror, Jake made a silent vow. He would find out what Y/N meant. He would confront his demons and try to understand why he needed to be saved. It was a small glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak existence, but it was enough to keep him going.

Sunghoon arrived at Jake's apartment early in the morning, the sun barely peeking over the horizon. He had been worried about Jake ever since their last conversation. Jake had seemed distant, lost in his thoughts, and Sunghoon knew all too well how his friend tended to shut down if he didn't talk about what was bothering him.

Quietly, Sunghoon pulled out the spare key Jake had given him for emergencies and let himself in. He carried a bag of food, hoping that a warm meal might help lift Jake's spirits. As he stepped inside, he was struck by the silence and the disarray. The broken mirror, the scattered shards of glass, and the overall mess painted a clear picture of Jake's turmoil.

Sunghoon found Jake slumped on the couch, looking disheveled and exhausted. His eyes immediately went to the bandaged wrist, the blood seeping through the white fabric. Sunghoon's heart sank.

"Jake, what the hell happened?" Sunghoon's voice was a mix of concern and frustration as he set the bag of food on the table and rushed to his friend's side.

Jake looked up, startled. "Sunghoon? How did you—"

"I used the spare key. I was worried about you." Sunghoon gestured to the bandage. "You hurt yourself again. You can't keep doing this, Jake."

Jake sighed, his head in his hands. "It's nothing, Sunghoon. Just had a rough night."

"Nothing? This is not nothing!" Sunghoon's voice softened as he sat beside Jake. "Talk to me. What's going on? You can't keep bottling this up. It's eating you alive."

For a moment, there was silence. Jake struggled to find the words, his emotions a tangled mess. Finally, he looked up, his eyes filled with pain. "I had a nightmare. It felt so real, and I woke up feeling... broken. I can't shake this feeling, Sunghoon. I feel like I'm drowning in my own thoughts, and I don't know how to stop it."

Sunghoon placed a reassuring hand on Jake's shoulder. "You don't have to go through this alone, Jake. I'm here for you. We all are. But you need to let us in. You need to talk about what's going on inside your head."

Jake nodded slowly, tears brimming in his eyes. "I know. It's just so hard. I feel like I'm not enough, like I'm always failing."

"You're not failing, Jake. You're human. We all have our struggles, but we face them together. You don't have to carry this burden by yourself."

Jake took a deep breath, the weight on his chest feeling a little lighter. "Thanks, Sunghoon. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sunghoon smiled, giving Jake's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You'll never have to find out. Now, let's get that wrist properly cleaned up, and then we'll figure this out together. One step at a time."

As Sunghoon helped Jake with his bandage and then unpacked the food, a sense of hope began to bloom in the room. It wasn't a solution to all of Jake's problems, but it was a start. And sometimes, that's all you need to begin healing.

Sunghoon sat across from Jake, he was talking about their plans for the upcoming weekend, but he noticed Jake's eyes drifting away, staring blankly out the window. Sunghoon knew this look all too well. Jake often spaced out like this when he was really struggling with something heavy on his mind.

Sunghoon's voice softened, careful not to startle Jake out of his thoughts. "You know, Jake, it's been a while since we went to the beach. How about we get some fresh air?"

Jake blinked, his focus slowly returning to the present. "The beach?"

"Yeah," Sunghoon said with a gentle smile. "It could be good for you. We can invite Jay too. Just the three of us, like old times."

Jake's lips curved into a small, grateful smile. "That sounds nice."

Sunghoon pulled out his phone and quickly sent a text to Jay. Within moments, Jay replied with an enthusiastic "I'm in!"

"Jay's on board," Sunghoon said, standing up and offering his hand to Jake. "Let's go."

They gathered their things and headed out the door. The drive to the beach was filled with light chatter, mostly led by Sunghoon, with Jake giving occasional nods or short responses. Sunghoon didn't mind; he was just glad to see a hint of relaxation in Jake's demeanor.

When they arrived at the beach, Jay was already there, waving at them with a big grin. "Hey, guys!"

"Hey, Jay!" Sunghoon called back, returning the wave.

Jake managed a small smile as they joined Jay by the water. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the salty breeze seemed to lift some of the weight off Jake's shoulders. For a moment, he felt a sense of peace.

They walked along the shore, the sand cool beneath their feet. Jay, always the joker, started telling funny stories about their school days, trying to coax a laugh out of Jake. Sunghoon watched as a small spark of amusement flickered in Jake's eyes.

"Remember that time we tried to build the biggest sandcastle and ended up with more sand on ourselves than on the castle?" Jay said, laughing.

Jake chuckled softly, the sound like music to Sunghoon's ears. "Yeah, and we were so proud of that lopsided thing."

Sunghoon joined in the laughter, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. "We should try building another one today. What do you say, Jake?"

Jake looked at his friends, feeling a swell of gratitude. "Yeah, let's do it."

They spent the afternoon building a sandcastle, their laughter mingling with the sound of the waves. For a while, Jake forgot about his troubles, lost in the simple joy of being with his friends. As the sun began to set, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, they sat down on the sand, watching the horizon.

"Thanks, guys," Jake said quietly, his voice filled with emotion. "I really needed this."

Sunghoon wrapped an arm around Jake's shoulders. "We're always here for you, Jake. No matter what."

Jay nodded, his expression serious for once. "Yeah, man. We're a trio. We stick together."

Jake felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but he didn't try to hide them. He let them fall, feeling the warmth of his friends' presence. In that moment, he knew he wasn't alone. He had Sunghoon and Jay by his side, and that made all the difference.

You stood motionless in front of the bridge, the biting wind whispering secrets of the past as it brushed against your skin. The bridge held a profound significance, a silent witness to a night that had changed everything. You could still feel the weight of that evening, the crushing despair that had driven you to the edge.

It was late, the kind of late where the world seems to hold its breath. You had been ready to let go, to escape the relentless pain that had become your constant companion. You had stepped onto the bridge, your heart pounding, your mind a chaotic storm. The darkness below had seemed inviting, a final respite from your suffering.

But then, out of the shadows, Jake had appeared. His presence had been like a beacon, a light cutting through your darkest hour.

"Y/N, please don't," he had called out, his voice trembling with fear and love. He had approached you slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. "You don't have to do this. You're not alone. I'm here with you."

Jake had wrapped you in his arms, holding you with a strength that belied his own fears. His embrace had been warm, a sanctuary where your broken pieces could find solace. He had whispered words of comfort, of hope, convincing you that your life was worth living. That night, he had saved you, pulling you back from the brink.

But now, as you stood before the bridge once more, Jake was gone. He had died, leaving a void that nothing could fill. The memory of his sacrifice haunted you, a constant reminder of your guilt. You had never wanted to live, yet Jake had fought so hard for your life. And now, he was dead, and you were still here, drowning in a sea of remorse.

The tears began to fall, slowly at first, then in an uncontrollable torrent. You sank to your knees, your sobs echoing in the emptiness around you. The guilt was overwhelming, the pain unbearable. It felt as if your heart was shattering into a thousand pieces, each one cutting deeper than the last.

"Jake, I'm so sorry," you whispered through your tears. "I miss you so much. Why did you save me?"

The wind continued to blow, carrying your words into the void. You clutched at your chest, the ache of loss and regret consuming you. You remembered his smile, the way his eyes had sparkled with life, and the way he had always known just what to say to make you feel better. But now, those memories were all you had left.

You cried until you had no more tears to shed, your body trembling with the force of your grief. In the stillness that followed, you felt a faint sense of release, as if your tears had washed away a part of the burden you carried. You knew that Jake would never truly be gone, that he lived on in your heart and in the memories you had shared.

As you stood up, you took a deep breath, feeling the cool air fill your lungs. You looked out over the bridge, the place where Jake had saved your life, and you made a silent promise to him. You would try to live, not just for yourself, but for him. You would carry his memory with you, letting it guide you through the darkness.

Jake stepped out of Sunghoon's car, waving a tired goodbye to his friends. The night air was cool against his skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of the car's interior. Despite his exhaustion, he felt a restless energy coursing through him. He knew he needed to clear his head, so he decided to take a walk, even though it was pretty late.

The streets were eerily quiet, the only sounds being the occasional rustle of leaves and the distant hum of traffic. Jake walked aimlessly, his thoughts a jumbled mess of regrets and what-ifs. He found himself heading towards the bridge, a place he often went to when he needed to think, to escape, to breathe.

As he approached, he noticed a figure standing by the railing. It took him a moment to realize it was Y/N. She was crying, her shoulders shaking with each sob, the sound barely audible but piercing through the night. Jake's first instinct was to turn around and leave her to her privacy, but something stopped him. He saw himself in her—broken and lost. The raw emotion on her face mirrored the turmoil he felt inside.

Despite everything she had done to get under his skin, he couldn't just leave her there, struggling alone. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to her, his footsteps soft against the pavement. Each step felt like a mile, the weight of the moment pressing down on him.

"Y/N," he called out gently, his voice almost a whisper.

She looked up, startled, and quickly tried to recompose herself, wiping away her tears with trembling hands. But as soon as she saw him, the facade crumbled. Her eyes, red and swollen, filled with fresh tears. Without thinking, she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around him in a desperate hug. Jake stood still for a moment, surprised, but then he felt her body shaking against his, her sobs muffled against his chest.

He hesitated, then slowly brought his arms around her, holding her as she broke down. They stood there for what felt like an eternity, the night wrapping around them like a comforting blanket. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them in their shared pain.

Jake could feel her tears soaking through his shirt, her grip on him tightening as if she was afraid he would disappear. He gently rested his chin on top of her head, his own eyes stinging with unshed tears. He didn't know what to say, didn't know if there were any words that could ease her pain. So he just held her, letting her cry, letting her release the torrent of emotions that had been building up inside her.

"You're not alone," he whispered finally, his voice breaking. "I'm here."

Y/N's sobs grew louder, more anguished, as if his words had opened a floodgate. She clung to him, her body shaking with the force of her crying. Jake tightened his hold on her, his heart aching for her, for them both. In that moment, all the resentment, all the anger he had harbored towards her seemed to dissolve, replaced by a deep, aching empathy.

They stood there for what felt like hours, the night growing colder around them. Eventually, Y/N's sobs began to subside, her breathing becoming more even. She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice hoarse.

Jake nodded, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "Anytime," he replied softly.

They stood there in silence, the bridge their silent witness, the night their only companion. For the first time in a long while, Jake felt a sense of purpose. He didn't have the answers, didn't know what the future held, but for now, being there for Y/N was enough.

You and Jake walked side by side, the dim streetlights casting long shadows on the pavement. The silence between you was thick, but not uncomfortable. You reached the nearest shop that was still open, a small convenience store with a flickering neon sign that buzzed faintly in the cool night air.

"I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?" Jake asked, his voice breaking the silence. There was a softness in his tone that made your heart ache.

You shook your head. "No, I'm good."

Jake raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. He disappeared into the store, leaving you standing outside, your thoughts racing. You couldn't tell him the truth—that you had traveled back in time to save him. How could you explain something so unbelievable?

As you waited, memories of the accident flooded your mind. The screeching tires, the shattering glass, and the overwhelming sense of helplessness. You squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push the images away, but they clung to you like shadows.

A few minutes later, Jake emerged with a bottle of water and a small bag of chips. He handed the chips to you. "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I got these for you anyway."

You took the bag hesitantly, your fingers brushing against his. "Thanks," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

You started walking back, the crunch of gravel under your feet the only sound. Jake glanced at you sideways, his brow furrowed with concern. "So, why did you say I needed to be saved?"

Your heart skipped a beat. You had to think fast. "Oh, I was just... you know, being dramatic. I didn't mean anything by it."

Jake stopped walking and turned to face you, his eyes searching yours. "You don't have to lie to me, Y/N. I can tell something's been bothering you."

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. "It's nothing, really. Just... a lot on my mind."

Jake reached out and gently touched your arm, his expression softening. He wasn't your biggest fan, mainly because it always seemed like you had your life together, and he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He knew it was wrong to assume and dislike you for that, but those feelings had lingered for so long.

However, when he saw you a couple of minutes ago, with that same look and feeling he had been battling his whole life, something inside him shifted. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks—how much of a jerk he had been. Jake's heart ached with regret as he looked at you, finally understanding the weight of his misguided resentment.

"You can talk to me, you know. I'm here for you."

You felt a lump in your throat. You wanted to tell him everything, to unburden yourself of the secret that weighed so heavily on your heart. But you couldn't. Not yet. Instead, you forced a smile. "Thanks, Jake. That means a lot."

You continued walking in silence, the tension between you palpable. As you guys neared the corner where you would part ways, Jake stopped and turned to you, his expression serious.

"We should probably figure out when to meet up for the project," he said, breaking the moment you had shared.

You nodded, grateful for the change in topic. "Yeah, how about tomorrow after school?"

"Sounds good," Jake replied. He hesitated for a moment, then added, "And if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Anytime."

Your heart ached at his kindness. At the kindness you haven’t been able to witness for a couple of years now. “Thanks, Jake. I'll remember that."

As you went your separate ways, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. You wanted to tell him the truth, but you knew you couldn't. Not yet. For now, you would have to carry the weight of your secret alone.

Jake sat alone in his room, the weight of his actions crashing down on him with unbearable force. He had always prided himself on being strong, on keeping his emotions in check, but now he felt like he was unraveling. He had misjudged Y/N so badly, and the realization of how much he had hurt her was like a punch to the gut.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he thought about all the times he had let his resentment and jealousy guide his actions. He had been so blinded by his own insecurities that he failed to see the pain he was causing someone else. Y/N didn't deserve any of it. She was just trying to navigate her own struggles, and he had made it so much harder for her.

Jake's heart ached as he remembered the look on her face, the vulnerability he had overlooked. He had always managed to hurt people, even when he didn't mean to. It was like a curse he couldn't escape. The guilt was suffocating, and he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He broke down, sobbing quietly in the darkness of his room.

He glanced at his injured hand, which he had managed to hide earlier. The pain was a constant reminder of his own mistakes. Tomorrow, he would have to figure out how to hide it at school. He didn't want anyone to see his weakness, especially not Y/N. He had already caused her enough pain.

But as he sat there, crying and clutching his injured hand, Jake realized that hiding his pain wasn't the answer. He needed to make things right, to show Y/N that he was truly sorry. It wouldn't be easy, and he knew it would take time, but he was determined to change. He couldn't keep hurting the people around him, especially not Y/N.

With a heavy heart, Jake wiped away his tears and made a silent promise to himself. Tomorrow, he would start making amends. He didn't know how, but he would find a way to show Y/N that he was sorry, that he wanted to be better. For her, and for himself.

taglist: @belovedsthings @en-chantedtomeetyou @syazzzlisa @k1ttylvr @jaeyunpinkyring-deactivated2024 @dreamiestay @soobs-things @capri-cuntz @beomgyusimp @heelariously @thinkinboutbin @jyunsgf @lwavander @chaewonshoney @maliakealoha @addictedtohobi @likeemilia @shaniandme @chocminteu @lilyuwon @kgneptun @dojaejunging @binniesbabe @asteria-wood

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captn-trex · 4 months ago

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technical devotion, part fourteen: changes

a/n okay so I have no restraint, I uploaded the last chapter and then immediately wrote this and am posting it immediately. also I am sorry I cannot write lingering conflict, I have no backbone. also new banner!! bc I'm indecisive. now that you know all my issues, enjoy!

warnings: depiction of a panic attack, smoking

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Echo had expected things to be different when him and Kan got back to base, but he hadn't expected it to be so immediate.

They had barely set one foot inside before they were whisked into command, where Kan was informed that her skillset would prove useful for mission planning, and that she would take on more responsibility from now on, gaining the unofficial rank of Sergeant. She had been honoured, of course, but it felt like something that was very much out if her comfort zone. She wasn't a leader, she was a follower, and that's how she liked it. Though, if Rex had faith in her, she trusted his judgement.

Echo was happy that he'd be working with Kan more regularly now, but so was almost everyone else in the room. He couldn't blame his brothers, she was gorgeous, and almost elusive to most of them, having never spoken to them. He watched on painfully as she reunited with Howzer, jumping into his open arms and hugging him tightly, and as they stayed touching each other, catching up excitedly.

Then he watched her reunite with her other friends from across the mess, Oscar ruffling her hair as he hugged her from the side, and Teddy high-fiving her and embracing her for good measure for beating Howzer to a proper command position.

Echo felt so foolish.

Foolish that he thought he was special because she was kind to him, foolish that he thought he was lucky to get to experience her touch, and foolish for ever even entertaining the idea that she could possibly harbour feelings for him.

Kan was kind, but she gave out her kindness to everyone without exception. That's what made it so hard for Echo to feel negatively about her - it wasn't her fault, it was his. His mistake.

And now it was too late to do anything about it.

He had fallen for her. Hard. And now he would have to carry on as if she was any other person at the base. He didn't know if he could, and so, reluctantly, he tried to distance himself from her.

Kan noticed immediately when Echo started pulling away. For one, whenever he had to address her in the command centre, he would call her ‘Kan’. She didn't mind of course, it was her name after all, but she had got used to him calling her ‘M'aira’, and she much preferred when he called her that. He was the only one who did, and that's what made it special.

He also never came to see her in her office, never said a word if she ever sat with Rex and Gregor at meal times, never spoke to her before bed, and she hadn't looked into his eyes since the day they got back. It hurt her a lot, and the only logical conclusion she could draw was that he was embarrassed of her. Embarrassed to call her M'aira, embarrassed to talk to her, and embarrassed to even look at her.

She didn't know why he felt that way, but it was obvious that whatever bond they had created during their time away from base was just a one sided thing. That it hadn't meant anything to Echo.

Between that and her new command position, Kan was extremely stressed out.

Her brain was going at a klick a minute, unable to shut off from either mission plans or Echo. She couldn't focus, and the only respite she got was sleep but that would elude her because the cause of half her problems was sleeping right next to her. She had begun sleeping in her office again, though her back certainly wasn't happy about it.

Teddy was a perceptive clone, and he could see how haggard she had become. He contantly asked how she was, but she would always just say she was tired, that was it. She had none of the usual spring in her step, and after a couple weeks of it not going away, and only getting worse, he finally did something.

He dragged her outside after dinner, with the aim of getting her to relax. He took her over to the edge of the platform, and they sat down, looking out on the view of the deep reds and browns of the rocky terrain that surrounded the base.

“Here” He offered her his cigarra after he'd taken a drag, “To help you relax”

“No thanks” She said simply, accompanied by a weak smile.

“Kan…” Teddy began. He didn't really know what to say, but he tried his best, “What's going on with you? And I want a real answer this time”

Kan looked up at him sadly, her eyes glistening, before looking out to the view again. “I don't know, everything is just too much at the moment” She took the cigarra from his hand and took a long drag before passing it back.

Teddy watched on in worry, “What is? It might help to get it off your mind”

Kan sighed deeply, exhaling the smoke, “It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud though”

“I'm sure it doesn't, come on” Teddy urged, and he could see her cracking, beginning to open up.

“Well… for one, being a Sergeant is absolutely no fun” She said pointedly, and Teddy chuckled.

“Why not?”

“It's so much responsibility, I can't stop thinking about how my actions affect everyone here, how I could be the reason for someone being killed or captured by the Empire” She explained, her shoulders slumping with each word.

“Have you talked to Rex about it?” Teddy asked.

“No” Kan laughed, “I couldn't, he's such a natural, he wouldn't understand”

Teddy shook his head, “Just because he's a natural doesn't mean he lacks empathy. I'm sure he'd be able to help ease your worries”

“Maybe about that” Kan mumbled, loud enough for Teddy to hear it.

“What else is going on then?” He asked, taking another drag.

Kan looked out at the view despondently, slumped forwards onto her knees. He gave her the time to answer the question on her own time, which took longer than he was hoping.

“It's Echo” She finally whispered.

“Echo? What about him?” Teddy hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary with him.

“It's- We-” Kan sighed aggressively, “We were getting on so well during our mission, but when we came back, it's like he hated me or something. He never talks to me unless it's regarding a mission but even then it's more talking around me to other people, and he never looks at me anymore, I just-” She stopped herself before she could get choked up.

“You just what?” Teddy pressed.

Kan chewed on her lip, “I really thought he might like me back, you know?” She said quietly, and Teddy understood immediately.

He placed his arm around her shoulders and hugged her into his side. “I know, I know” He spoke soothingly, rubbing her arm.

Kan rested her head on Teddy's shoulder, “It's just embarrassing, to be wrong”

“Yeah, but hey, that's on him. If he doesn't like you, he's a di'kut”

Kan looked up and saw the small grin on Teddy's face, and her own lips curled up, “Yeah?”

“Absolutely, you're a catch” Teddy said, earning a small giggle from Kan.

“Thanks Teddy, so are you”

“I know” He smirked, resting his head against hers as they looked out again.

“Thanks for bringing me here, I really needed this” Kan spoke sincerely.

“No problem K” Teddy squeezed her slightly before standing up, “Let's go inside yeah?”

Kan didn't respond immediately, looking over the setting sun, “I think I'll just stay here for another moment, watch the sun set”

“Alright, I'll see you later then” Teddy said, giving her shoulder a supportive squeeze before walking away.

When she knew Teddy had left, Kan finally let herself cry.

She let out a choked sob, the product of bottling up her frustration, anger, sadness and embarrassment for weeks. Now that she had popped the cork, she couldn't stop the flow of tears that fell from her eyes. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in them, her vision blurred and her breath ragged.

She thought of her mother and father. She wondered if they would be proud of the work she was doing. She thought of Master Unduli, she thought of Spider, she thought of Senator Organa, she thought of Rex, Howzer, Gregor, Oscar, Teddy, and finally, Echo. Every insecure thought, every nasty thing she ever had to say about herself clogged her mind in an instant, and she felt as if she couldn't breathe.

She let her legs hang over the side of the platform again and gripped the edges tightly. Her eyes were screwed shut and her breathing was only becoming more unstable, no matter how much she tried to calm it. Her stomach was in knots, she was choking on the tears that wouldn't stop falling, and her body was shaking involuntarily. She knew what this was, she had experienced them enough, and she just hoped that if she could grip the platform hard enough that it would subside quicker. She had no such luck.

She heard her name shouted, but to her it sounded feint, like she was underwater. She curled up again, facing away from the voice. She heard them again, and felt someone touch her back gently, though they might as well have struck her with lightning for how she reacted.

She flinched away, trying to find her voice, managing to choke out “Go away”

Her own voice sounded foreign to her ears in this altered state of being, but she couldn't think about it for too much longer before she was enveloped by a pair of arms. She rested her forehead on the person's chest, heaving and trying to calm herself. As she came down from the worst of it, something about the person felt so familiar, and she soon realised exactly who it was when they brought a hand to the bare skin on her back, and it was exceedingly cold and smooth.

She knocked herself backwards, falling onto her backside as she looked up at him, the catalyst of all her problems. Echo was looking down at her with worry painted on his face, and she frowned as her breathing evened out more. She scrambled from the floor and uttered apologies as she ran away from him, back towards the base.

Echo followed after her, catching up to her quickly and moving around her so he could stop in front of her.

“M'aira, what's going on? What's the matter?” He asked, placing his hands gently on either side of her arms.

Kan didn't say anything. She just stared at him, her chest heaving and a deep frown settled over her features.

“M'aira?” Echo said quietly, stepping towards her, but Kan stepped back a few paces.

“Why are you calling me that?” She tried to speak plainly, but her voice was still thick with emotion.

“What?” Echo asked, confused as to why she would ask that.

“Aren't you worried someone is going to see us talking?” She asked, her voice breaking.

Echos heart fell from his chest, “What do you mean?”

Kan could feel her bottom lip begin to quiver and she instinctively dug her teeth into it to stop it. She wasn't going to let Echo see her cry. Well, anymore than he already had.

“What’s going on M'aira, why are you upset?”

The use of the nickname once more sent her over the edge, “Because of you!” She shouted, though her anger was swallowed by embarrassment as she barged past Echo and made her way inside.

Echo stood frozen on the spot.

Because of me? But I haven't even spoken to her in… oh.

He quickly followed after her again, not entirely sure where she was headed but he hoped it was towards her office. He saw the door close from the end of the hall and heard the lock engage immediately after, something he didn't even know the door was capable of.

He knocked a few times, and heard Kan sniffle but she didn't reply.

“M'aira, please open up” He said gently, leaning his forehead on the door.

“Go away Echo” She replied, and Echo sighed deeply.

“Kandam'aira… please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you”

The door then zipped open and he fell forwards slightly, finding himself in the room as Kan closed the door again.

“What did you mean to do?” She looked up at him sternly, her cheeks stained by tears.

“I-” He couldn't admit to his feelings right now, that would only confuse her, “I just thought you might want some space”

“Why would you think that? I thought we were friends, Echo. Friends at least look at each other from time to time”

“I know, I'm sorry, I guess I just figured that we'd been together for a while and you might be sick of me” He stated, though it came out more like a question.

“Well I don't” Kan crossed her arms, and Echo blinked at her.

“Don't what?”

Kan rolled her eyes, “I don't want space”

“Oh, right” Echo said awkwardly, and Kan felt her undeniable fondness for him returning as she looked up at his blushing cheeks.

She then quickly wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him tightly, “I missed you”

Echo could feel his heart ache as she gripped him tightly, and he matched her hold, resting his cheek on the top of her head, “I missed you too”

Kan pulled back, looking up at him sheepishly, “I'm sorry you had to see me all…” She wiped her cheek, “Panicky”

“I don't mind, I'm just sorry that I caused it” He said, bringing his own hand up to wipe the wetness from her cheek.

Kan sighed, “It wasn't just you”

Echo gave her a questioning look and she shook her head slightly, “I'm just stressed, but I'll be fine”

“What are you stressed about?” Echo pressed.

“Nothing, I think I'm going to get an early night now” She said, opening the door.

“Hey” Echo gripped her shoulders lightly, “We can talk about it if you want?”

“Another time maybe” She smiled up at him, “Goodnight Echo”

Echo sighed with a worried smile, “Goodnight M'aira”

Kan's smile grew at the use of the nickname as she stepped away from Echo, hoping its return was permanent.

23 notes · View notes

darkomoth · 1 year ago

Text

Insomniacs

Chapter 1: Violets

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary: You and Hotch are both workaholics, but when you start showing up earlier and staying later, he starts getting concerned. A case will give you something to preoccupy yourself with, but something goes severely wrong.

Cause when doesn't it?

Notes: I recommend getting the InteractiveFics extension for chrome! It's really good and will replace the y/n and l/n with your name :)

Also uploaded on Ao3 under the same title

Word count: 9.7K

Ch. 2 Ch.3

It was another night of not being able to sleep at all. Not that you hadn’t tried. After the plane touched back down in Quantico, you should’ve felt relief at the thought of home and a comfortable bed to lie your head, but you felt nothing other than anxiety at the thought of nothing to do.

You got to your apartment, dumped your used go-bag clothes into the washing machine, showered, cleaned up the dishes that cluttered in your kitchen, even vacuumed up a bit in the living room. You looked over at the clock on the end table by your couch, it read 3:33 am. With a sigh, you decided to give rest a shot.

Your bed was made perfectly already, not wanting to mess it up, you decided the couch was good. You grabbed a blanket and pillow and turned on the TV, volume all the way down. The time passed achingly slowly. Seconds crawled by and the silence was unbelievably deafening. You looked at the clock once again, 3:39 am. Another attempt to close your eyes and you were met with 20 minutes of tossing and turning.

“That’s enough.” You mumbled to yourself before throwing the warm blanket off your body and getting up. You made a pot of coffee, moved your clothes to the dryer, and packed a new go-bag. 4:05 am. It was agonizing, every second you waited for your phone to ring. You watched it, the dark screen with no new notifications taunting you. You sat on your couch, watching the characters on your screen move and laugh silently, your eyes drifted closed once or twice, but never long enough for it to be called sleep.

You sipped your coffee, hot and caffeinated and perfect. 4:17 am. When the drink went cold you decided it would be a good time to get ready for the day. You got dressed, black slacks and a dark blue long-sleeved button-down. You brushed your hair and did your makeup. 4:29 am. You considered whether to just go straight to the office, ultimately deciding it best to grab some food first.

You arrived at the building at 5:02 am. It wasn’t too early, you decided. After all, there have been nights that you’ve seen your boss not leave until past 5:00 in the morning. Hotch’s car wasn’t in the parking lot this morning, however. That was good, it meant he was getting sleep and time with his son.

The bullpen was dark, you decided to only turn on one light, enough for you to see. The case report on your desk was already finished since you worked on it during your team's flight back home, but there would be no harm in going over it. You wouldn’t classify yourself as a perfectionist or even a workaholic, though you presented that way to others. You just didn’t enjoy doing nothing like other people.

Footsteps coming from your left made you pause what you were doing and look up.

“Good morning.” You said as Hotch came walking into the bullpen with that perfectly pressed suit of his. The time on your watch read 5:30 am, he was very punctual.

“Good morning.” He said, with that usual furrow of his brow and the tight-lipped look that meant a question was coming. “You’re here early.”

Okay, not really a question.

“So are you.” You say, too tired to engage in your typical banter.

Hotch only nodded once in response, then took a few steps towards his office before stopping in his tracks and turning back around. “Did you actually go home last night?”

“Yes.” You said, fidgeting with your fingers beneath your desk. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Mm.” He hummed in response. “Don’t burn yourself out, we need you alert.”

“Do we have a case?” You asked, maybe a little too quickly.

“Not until the rest of the team gets here... but yes.”

You nodded and any trace of tiredness from the night dissipated. Blood pumped in your veins and your anxiety disappeared, anticipation for the new work ahead of you completely replacing it.

“Okay, would you mind if I got the case file now? I have nothing else to do.” You asked.

Hotch studied you for a moment with that serious frown of his, “I’ll make copies now.”

“Thank you.”

Sometimes you felt like Hotch was the only one that understood you. Maybe it was because he was the resident workaholic in the department before you showed up, and he still is, but it feels deeper than that. Most days you come in at the same time, leave at the same time... honestly the only time you don’t see your Unit Chief is when you’re home. You hated being home.

In the very late hours when the whole building was quiet and not a soul lingered, you would see that one light from Hotch’s office and feel comfort. His blinds would be open, and you could see him reading and writing, looking like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Since the death of his ex-wife, Haley, he’s stayed later and later, coming in earlier, only departing when he knows Jack needs him. It’s a heartbreaking thing to watch.

But often you would be sitting at your desk, getting lost in the paperwork as your eyes strained to read every bit of information in the dim lighting, when a warm hand would land on your shoulder. Hotch’s soft, tired voice telling you to take a break, rest your eyes. It made your chest warm, and body relax if only for a few minutes. He knew better than to try to get you to go home, it never works out. Unless of course, he leaves at the same time. It was a very rare occurrence, to say the least.

Right now, Hotch is in his office making enough copies of the case files to be passed around to the team when they get in. You tap impatiently on your desk, drumming your fingers along to a song that only exists in your head. When you can’t stand it anymore, you get up and make your way over to him.

You knock once on the open door, “What is it?”

Hotch turns to you with a serious look. “You’re very impatient this morning.”

“I know. So?”

With a sigh, he hands over a manila folder with the FBI logo.

“Three women in three weeks, all were strangled and beaten to death, abducted from their homes. Last victim was found 4 days ago.”

“That’s a strict timeline... and they’re just calling us in now?” You ask.

“Local sheriff thinks it could be even more and I’m inclined to agree. So far, this presents as organized. No one starts out like this, there are no hesitation marks on the bodies and no DNA was left behind on the scenes.”

You nodded along as he spoke, already going over the possibilities of this unsub in your mind. Organized means older, that rules out teenagers and younger. No hesitation could mean psychopathy, lack of remorse, etc. Most likely white given the victims were, possibly sexually frustrated.

“Any sign of sexual assault?”

“We’ll go over everything when the team arrives.” Hotch states firmly.

“When were they called in?” You asked.

“If you check your voice mail, you’ll see.” He says with a small smile. “Look, go to the conference room and read over the files some more, I’ll make some more coffee.”

You want to argue, but you know he’s right. You were definitely getting ahead of yourself here. With a grateful nod, you head to the conference room.

The pictures were gruesome, but when aren’t they? The girls were pretty when they were alive, their faces were mutilated during the attacks. Could have something to do with the unsub’s view of women. You turned over theory after theory in your head and before you knew it, Hotch was back and sliding over a mug filled to the brim with coffee, just the way you like it.

“Thank you, Hotch.” You say, taking a sip. He nods and sips his own cup.

“How long were you here before I came in?” He asks you, glancing up from the file in his hands.

You shrug and say, “Not long... half an hour?”

“You need to rest.” He says, in his usual commanding tone. It makes you smile a bit, though you try to suppress it.

“I know, and I will.” You look him in the eyes to try and convince him, but he looks doubtful. “Promise.”

Hotch nods, seemingly satisfied for the time being. You knew he was just checking in on you out of concern for a team member, but you hoped it was just a little more than that. Anytime he looked at you, it made your heart rate pick up a little. You weren’t as sure of yourself as usual when you were around him.

Five minutes later the team starts filtering in, first is JJ, then Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid. Then it’s Garcia, who did not seem very happy to be awake at 6:30 am, followed by Rossi. When everyone finally gathered into the conference room, you could feel your body relax. Your work could finally start for real.

After the initial ‘good mornings’ and bantering, Hotch started to present the case to everyone. You suggested the same preliminary profile traits from earlier and most everyone agreed.

“Well, if this unsub has killed before, it will most likely not be in the exact same spot.” Reid says. “We should widen the range to a fifty-mile radius to see if there were any similar murders in the past couple years or so.”

“I’m so on it.” Penelope says.

“What else did the unsub do?” Prentiss asks, looking at the photos of the victims’ neck wounds.

“A call was placed to each of the victim’s significant others, a voice modifier was used but the message remained the same. ‘Don’t bother looking, you will never see her again.’” Hotch says. “He keeps them for at least a day, given the various stages of healing with the victims bruises.”

“Well, that’s definitely sadistic, torturing not only the victims but those close to them as well.” You add.

“Was the call placed before or after their deaths?” Rossi asks.

Hotch’s eyebrows knit further together, “Before, according to the coroner's report.”

“Which gives the victim’s family hope only for that to be snuffed out almost immediately.” Reid says.

“If this guy’s seasoned in his kills, why risk dumping the bodies in such a public way?” Morgan asks. “All of the victims, Susanne Yearly, Brenda James and Larissa Buckly were all found in public parks, somewhere he could’ve easily been seen even at night while disposing of them.”

“Maybe there’s a part of him that wants to get caught? Wants people to know that this was his work.” You say.

“If that’s the case, we’re dealing with a narcissist.” Rossi adds.

Prentiss jumps in again, “Yeah, but this level of body mutilation feels personal. Their faces were left nearly unrecognizable, I’m willing to bet his stressor involves a woman that has similar features.”

“The families are distraught.” JJ says. “They confirmed in the police reports that all the girls lived alone, having just moved into new places weeks or even days before their abductions took place.”

“Well, that’s certainly a connection.” Hotch states. “Chicago PD will be expecting us when we arrive, wheels up in 30.”

Arriving less than three hours later, Hotch orders you and Reid to establish a timeline in the precinct while Morgan and Rossi take the newest crime scene where Larissa’s body was found. Hotch has JJ speaking to family members and Prentiss goes with him to the morgue.

Garcia’s on the speaker with Reid, “I did what you asked and widened the range for possible attacks fitting this creeps M.O., however absolutely nothing came up. Soooo, I changed the parameters. Hotch and L/N mentioned that most likely this guy wouldn’t have been as confident as he is now, meaning the kills may not have been as brutal. I included any and all deaths as a result of suffocation from the last ten years surrounding the Chicago area and wouldn’t-ya-know-it I got a hit. Well, hits.”

Garcia explains that there were at least 5 possible victims, all of them died of various forms of suffocation. You and Reid went through the past reports of the deceased women and ruled out two of them since they both drowned, which didn’t fit this unsub’s specific fantasy. That left you with three girls, one found in an alley behind her work with a bag around her head, no other injuries except a hit on the head with a blunt object. The other two were covered in bruises and strangled with rope. Since then, the unsub’s gotten smarter, switched from rope to wire making it less bulky and conspicuous. He’s also leveled up his damage to their face and body, becoming more intense with each kill.

You and Reid explain your findings to Hotch and Prentiss when they return from the morgue. They corroborate the theory with their own findings, since each body was more disfigured than the last. The thin lines on the necks of the victims were so deep, you wondered if that’s what the unsub focused on the most.

“There was no sexual assault present on the bodies.” Prentiss states. “But there were marks on their wrists and ankles, they were most likely tied to something while the unsub beat them.”

“Which means the act of killing is more than enough for him,” Hotch adds. “He derives all of his pleasure from brutalizing the women, then watching them die in front of him.”

“The bag around the head on the very first victim, Miranda Jall, along with the hit on her head suggests a sort of de-personalization.” Reid says. “He didn’t make a call to her fiancé and there was no abduction. He hit her over the head as she walked out of her workplace, and the bag obscured his view of her face, he couldn’t have gotten off on it.” He says.

“It was practice. He was figuring out how he was going to incapacitate his victims.” You say. “He probably felt a rush after the initial hit, and realized he wanted more of that aspect.”

“So, he amps up the beatings.” Hotch adds. “He isn’t satisfied with just the kill, he wants more time.”

“And then he switches to rope so he can see their faces.” Prentiss says.

“The two victims that were strangled with rope still have yet to be identified. He started out by blitz-attacking his victims in isolated areas, where-as now he targets newly independent women inside their homes.” Reid says.

JJ walks up with a look on her face that you all know means bad news, “The victims' families have no idea who the caller could be, all the young women appeared to be well-liked, in stable relationships. They can’t think of a single person that would want to do this to their daughters.”

Just then, a call comes through to Hotch’s phone. “Hotchner.” He listens for a moment and then nods, “Okay.” He hangs up. “Morgan and Rossi found violets at the crime scene.”

“The flower?” Prentiss asks.

“Yes.”

“Was that present at the other dump sites?” You ask.

“If it was, it wasn’t mentioned in the files.” Hotch answers.

“If he’s leaving flowers for his victims, it could potentially be a sign of remorse.” Reid says.

“This guy isn’t capable, he’s narcissistic and psychopathic, the flowers have to mean something else.” You say, frustrated now.

So far all you’ve really gotten is the confirmation that this guy has killed at least six women, and not a whole lot else. You decide to call Garcia.

“Speak and be heard by residing genius PG.”

“Hey Garcia, can you get me everything on the early victims? I think the unsub knew one of them personally.” You say.

“What makes you think that?” Prentiss asks.

“Well, if the first kill was a trial, maybe he was practicing for a specific target. He could have already gotten who he wanted and now he’s chasing the same high.” You reply. “While you’re at it Garcia, see if you can find any mention of violets being present at the crime scenes.”

Everyone had converged back to the precinct nearly an hour ago. The last victim, Larissa Buckly, was found 4 days ago. If the unsub is continuing at a consistent rate with no sign of slowing down, the police will be finding a new body in 3 days.

You all knew this, the stakes were high and given the profile of the unsub, he wasn’t someone that was going to stop unless he was behind bars. Still, the team needed sleep.

“Alright, we’ve done all that we can for the night. The profile is out there, the press conference warned women of Chicago to remain vigilant, you all can head to the hotel.” Hotch says.

Hotch could tell that the team wasn’t in high spirits and exhaustion wasn’t going to make it any better. It’s usually a good idea to take a step back, take a break, and come back with fresh eyes. And yet, as the profilers filed out of the precinct, still talking back and forth about victimology and M.O., he noticed not all of them were leaving.

Y/N stayed planted where she was at the round table, eyebrows knit together in frustration or confusion. She tapped her fingers the way that she does when she's nervous or focused, or both. Hotch takes a step towards her, his arms crossed, and a frown set on his face.

“I said you all can head to the hotel.” He says pointedly.

“Yes, I heard you. I’m not tired.” Y/N says, still not meeting his eyes.

Hotch’s jaw tenses a bit. She can be incredibly stubborn and, in some cases, it was an asset. Not right now, though.

“It wasn’t a suggestion, L/N. Go get some sleep, come back tomorrow morning with everyone else.”

“Are you going to sleep?” She asks, finally snapping her head up and meeting his stoic gaze with her own.

“Yes. I have to do a few more things here, and then I will be heading back to the hotel.”

“I’ll leave when you do.” She says. It was a challenge, he knew. He was used to it. It was also extremely frustrating.

Hotch swipes a hand across his face tiredly, “Y/N. You haven't slept since our last case. It’s been over 48 hours, and our judgement is severely impaired after 24 hours without sleep. You can become drowsy and irritable, your memory is affected, your coordination will be off-”

“You think my judgement is impaired?” She asks, sounding offended. That would be the part that she focuses on, Hotch thinks. “Hotch, I have been trying to put all of these puzzle pieces together for over 12 hours now and nothing is going to get done if I’m knocked out.”

Hotch understands where she’s coming from, truly, but right now, he doesn’t care. “L/N I am giving you a direct order, leave the precinct. Go to the hotel. Do not come back until at least 6:00.”

She huffs out a frustrated breath, and it’s hard to not find that a little bit cute. The thought makes Hotch feel guilty, that’s definitely not what he should be thinking about right now. Before he can dwell on it though, Y/N is gathering up all of the papers that were scattered around the table.

“No- leave it.” Hotch commands with his hand coming down on top of the file so she can’t take it, brushing her hand in the process. It spreads a warmth through him, but he thinks he does a good job at not showing it. “I know you won’t sleep if you take these with you.”

Y/N’s angry, he knows by the way she doesn’t even respond, just shoots him a look and grabs her bag to leave. It’s fine though, if that’s what it takes to get her to finally rest. Hotch lets out a long sigh once she’s out of sight, taking a seat at the table and finishing collecting all of the papers on the table. That’s when he notices an image of one of the Jane Doe victims, she’s wearing a necklace, gold and dainty around her slim, pale neck. It was blurry, hard to make out, but certainly a cursive “V” pendant hung in the middle.

“Violet?”

Hotch ordered you to leave the precinct, so you did. But he didn’t say you couldn’t make a detour on your way to the hotel. A yawn overcame you as you drove towards Grant Park, where Larissa’s body was found. You knew that if Hotch found out about this you would be in a lot of trouble, but the thought didn’t really faze you when faced with the alternative. How could you sleep when there was a serial killer out there hunting for his newest victim? A young woman was going to be dead in less than 72 hours, who were you to sleep at a time like this?

At the same time, you can’t condemn your friends for needing that sleep. You wished you functioned like they did. You wished you could take a step back and rest and come back refreshed with a whole new outlook. But the truth was that you just couldn’t handle the nightmares.

They started not long after joining the BAU. It was only natural; you were assured by Morgan as he noticed how off you’d been after a few months with the team. He also suffered from nightmares. They were fewer and further between now, which was good. You weren’t so lucky. For some reason they came in waves. Each case you worked on added to your memory storage of gruesome death and horrific imagery that was reflected back at you anytime you closed your eyes.

It’s true that you hated the nothingness of your home life, the boredom of being alone with nothing but your thoughts, but that was only part of it. You figured, the longer you could stay awake, the less you’d have to worry about the nightmares bleeding into your reality.

When you arrived at the spot where Larissa was found, you saw yellow crime scene tape wrapped around trees and some blood on the floor where the body had laid in the center of it. She was positioned laying face up, arms at her sides, clothes intact. No overtly sexual displays, no attempt to cover her up, just a corpse.

Without the files to work off of, you only had your memory of the crime scene photos. You closed your eyes and imagined you were the one dumping Larissa’s body.

“I would scope out the area first, without the body.” You say to yourself. “Take note of how many people were here during the day, how many at night... but I’d have to seem inconspicuous. Can’t be in a black hoodie standing still and staring at people. Someone would notice.”

“So, I don’t cover my face... people saw me, interacted even. I’m not standing out, I’m moving. Maybe running?” You sigh and open your eyes. All that means is that this guy will be harder to catch than most. “What was with the violets...” You walk in circles around the scene, looking from every angle possible. You take note of the shrubbery, all green grass and occasional daffodils, nothing even resembling violets in the area, so the unsub definitely brought it with him.

Before you had a chance to continue, you heard some movement from behind you. You quickly spun around but saw no one.

You moved carefully from where you stood, a hand resting on your hip where your gun was. Taking careful steps towards the parking lot, you glance at your watch. 1:34 am. Anyone out here at this time is either a stoner or a serial killer, you found yourself almost hoping for the latter.

Once you reached your car, you still saw nothing. “FBI, if someone is there come out now and show me your hands.” You said as loud and clear as possible.

Nothing, only crickets sounded in the night. With a sigh, you thought maybe Hotch was right, your judgement was seriously impaired, and you needed some sleep.

As you reached for the handle of the driver's side door, you felt a sharp pain at the back of your head, and everything went black.

Hotch felt confident in his theory that the third victim, Jane Doe #2, was the unsub’s intended target from the beginning. The first kill was fast and sloppy, he didn’t move the body and her face was practically untouched. The second, Jane Doe #1, was also blitz-attacked, but it was in a grocery store parking lot at night, somewhere higher-risk where he could have been caught. So he was getting bolder, he hit her more, but still didn’t take her anywhere new. Just left her body where she was strangled. The third though, that’s when things shifted.

Jane Doe #2 who wore the ‘V’ necklace, was found in a public park, but that isn’t where she died. Hotch has been referring to her as violet for the time-being, since he didn’t know her actual name. No “Violet” was ever reported missing in the area, which means it could most likely be a nickname. Her real name would potentially still start with a V, he thought.

On the phone with Garcia, he relayed all of this information and was waiting for something to turn up on her end. “I did what L/N asked and tried to find everything I could on the first three victims. Miranda Jall, like you said, was a victim of opportunity and a trial-run. Jane Doe #1 though, while similar to the first, was beaten more and found more quickly. Jane Doe #2 was unrecognizable, I mean like, her face was so swollen from being beaten it’s surprising she was found in one piece.” Her voice was tight and rushed, like the words in her mouth made her feel physically sick.

“I know,” Hotch says. “Which is why I need everything you can find on her, search for missing persons from the past few years again, but narrow it down to only women whose first name started with a V. She would’ve been in a relationship, either long-term boyfriend, fiancé, or new husband.”

“Okay, stay on the line aaaandd.... there are four women, Venessa Traer, Veronica May, Victoria Jennings, and Valerie Hill. None of them look like the other victims.” Garcia says, clearly frustrated. “Traer was an elementary school teacher in her late forties, May had gone missing during a boating trip out-of-state and presumed dead, Jennings was reported missing but turned up a few weeks later, apparently on a spontaneous vacation with her friends, and Hill was an elderly woman who was suspected to have left her care-facility of her own free will.”

Hotch sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, until a thought struck him. “What about middle-names that start with V?” It was a long shot, he knew it, but he would try anything at this point.

A few seconds passed as he heard Garcia’s furious typing on the other end, “Aha! Sir, you are in fact a genius. Samantha Vivienne Garner, reported missing only eight weeks ago. She’s a spitting image of the other women, her name shows up on a lease for a newly remodeled home with one Riley Perkins, her soon-to-be husband.”

“Garcia, I’ll need an address for Perkins.”

“Already being sent.”

“Oh...” She said, sadly.

Hotch’s frown deepened, “What is it?”

“Perkins had posted an image of Samantha saying yes to his proposal, it was in the middle of Millenium Park.”

“Where Jane Doe #2’s body was found.” Hotch said, now 100% convinced that his theory was correct.

Hotch knew that he would be at the precinct all night, the irony of his situation with Y/N not lost on him. She was dedicated, maybe too dedicated, but the same could be said of him.

“Good work, Garcia. We’ll call you when there’s another update.”

“Oh, just one more thing, sir.”

“What is it?”

“L/N had asked me to look into whether there were violets at the other crime scenes and the answer is yes and no. It wasn’t reported or even see as a connection because the first Jane Doe had bought a bouquet of violets from the grocery store, which seems like a coincidence, but Susanne, Brenda, and Larissa all had violets show up on their doorsteps after they were found dead. They were presumed to be condolence gifts from friends, but now...”

“Alright, we’ll look into this further, thank you.”

Hotch ended the call and checked the time. 3:00 am. Three more hours before the rest of the team would show up. He was already setting up in his mind where everyone would be assigned once they got here. Hotch wanted JJ to get in contact with Samantha Garner’s parents, Morgan and Reid would pull the missing person's report and find out the details of that. He would keep Rossi and Prentiss in the precinct to dig into Garner and Perkin’s lives with Garcia. He wanted L/N with him to interview Perkins himself, if he had gotten the very first phone call from the unsub about Samantha, why didn’t he identify her?

5:58 am, Hotch read his watch as everyone started walking in. They were tired, but still looking better than they did the previous night. There were only two days before the next body would be found, and if he’s keeping them for one day, he may have already taken someone.

Hotch was half-expecting (half-hoping) that Y/N would show up early. She usually did, even when it was against orders. Still, he was glad that this meant she may have actually gotten a few hours of rest. 6:00 am and no Y/N, Hotch shrugged off the pit-like feeling in his stomach.

“Good morning.” He says to the other members, who’ve taken their spots at the table. Hotch speed-dials Garcia and puts her on speaker so that the two of them can go over what they discovered last night.

“Well, then if this Samantha girl was the real target and he’s still going, there’s no telling when or if he’ll stop.” Rossi says once they’re finished.

“Exactly,” Hotch replies. He assigns them to their designated tasks and just before he can dismiss everyone, Prentiss speaks up.

“Has anyone seen L/N?” She asks.

“I called her when we got here but didn’t get an answer.” JJ says.

The group of FBI agents share some looks but no one says anything. That feeling in Hotch’s stomach has doubled.

“She wasn’t at the hotel this morning?” He asks. His eyebrows furrow together and jaw tenses when no one answers immediately.

“I didn’t see her.” Morgan speaks up.

“Me neither.” Reid says.

Everyone else only shakes their head in agreement.

“I sent her back with all of you, she tried to stay late but I wouldn’t let her.” Hotch says, fists clenched in the position at his sides. “She didn’t take the files with her so she wouldn’t have had anything to work on.”

“Well...” JJ starts.

“What?” Hotch asks.

“If she couldn’t be at the precinct and she didn’t want to sleep, she could’ve gone to one of the dump sites.” She replies.

Hotch’s chest feels tight, his breathing is shallow and can’t think straight at the moment. If that is what she did, it was very, very stupid. They had profiled this unsub as a psychotic narcissist with sadistic tendencies, there’s a good chance he would visit the crime scenes afterwards. Of course she would go straight there, he thought, what else would she do?

“Alright, the plan hasn’t changed. All of you know your assignments, go.” Hotch says, before he turns to stride away.

“Wait a second, if Y/N’s in danger, we need to find her.” Prentiss says, clearly upset and standing up from her chair.

“That’s exactly what we’re doing.” Hotch shoots back, unable to keep the anger and worry from showing in his voice.

He didn’t give anyone else a chance to argue as he stormed out of the precinct, heading towards the car. One of the cars was gone, which means Y/N definitely left here last night, it was just a matter of which scene she ended up at.

With Garcia still on the phone, Hotch has a thought, “Garcia, send me the last location registered on the GPS of the rental car that Y/N used last night.”

“Y-yes sir.” Penelope typed quickly and Hotch’s anxieties grew with each passing second. “Uh, the-the last pinned location was Grant Park, which was where-”

“The last victim was found. Thank you, Garcia.” Hotch hung up the phone and pulled quickly out of the parking lot, heart beating out of his chest.

You were pretty sure you could feel your heart beating in your head. The back of your skull hurt very badly, but when you tried to feel for an injury you found that you couldn’t. Both your wrists and ankles were tied to a chair, which was bolted to the floor.

Your mouth felt dry, all you could think about was water. That was, before someone came walking towards you from the corner of the room.

“How are you feeling?” The man’s rough voice was too close to your ear, making you jerk back. The sudden movement didn’t help your head injury at all. “Ah ah ah...” He said, gripping your face with one large hand. “Stay still.”

He was ugly. That was honestly your first thought while looking at him. Maybe he hated women cause he couldn’t get a date.

His face was scruffy with a patchy beard, his brunette wavy hair receded away from his face revealing forehead wrinkles. He must’ve only been in his late 30’s early 40’s, but his strung-out appearance aged him.

“Where am I?” You ask as levelly as you could in your state. Looking around, the only thing you noticed was a concrete floor and barren white walls, which hung some wire. A house? Maybe a basement, given the musty smell of the air in the cramped space. It was dark, the only light source coming from a small lamp to your right.

“I thought you were the profiler.”

So, this guy knows exactly who he took. You weren’t just a victim of opportunity, but a target. “You’re right, I am. Which is why I know that you are an extremely...” You take a steadying breath in preparation, “weak individual with no genuine real-world skills who overcompensates for his lack of personality with a massive ego.” You say, staring him in the eyes. “Am I getting warm?”

The unsub pulls his fist back before it lands across your left cheek. You knew this would be the response, though. It’s why you did it. The punch snapped your head all the way to the right, where you spit out the small amount of blood that formed in your mouth. You can’t pretend it didn’t hurt; your eyes squeezed shut against the pain.

Challenging a narcissist usually incurs some type of violence or retribution, but that makes them emotional which can make them sloppy and prone to mistakes. Maybe those mistakes would reveal to you where you were, or even lead your team right to you. You hoped you were right.

The stranger in front of you takes in a rattling breath and exhales in your face, making you recoil. He grips you by the chin once more, putting some extra pressure on the bruise that was sure to form soon. “You are going to die here. But first, I have to make a call.”

The man reaches into your front pocket, digging around until he finds what he’s looking for and pulls it out. Your phone isn’t locked, it never is since you never leave it behind, ever. That of course means the unsub has full access to each number in your contact list. Your heart rate picks up at the thought of who he was about to call.

You didn’t have a significant other, maybe that meant he wouldn’t call anyone? No such luck, though. The man scrolled through your most recent calls and only one name showed up the most consistently.

SSA Aaron Hotchner.

His name made your head light and your stomach churn. This really was a waking nightmare. You pulled yourself roughly against your restraints, feeling the thick rope cut deep into your bare skin. It burned and you kept going until you received a punch to the stomach for your efforts.

“Shut the fuck up.” The ugly man said. Then with a finger raised to his lips as if to demonstrate to you that you need to keep quiet, he presses the call button and raises the phone to his ear. You scream at him and that irritates him enough to punch you once more in the face, harder than the last time.

You groan at the sensation, the pain from your skull and your cheek and your stomach combining to make you feel ill.

“Y/N?” You could hear Hotch’s voice faintly from your phone that the unsub still had in his hand.

“Don’t bother looking, you will never see her again.” Is all that the unsub said, before ending the call and tossing the phone away. It lands several feet behind him on the floor, and you know there’s no chance of you getting it. Not when you’re still bound to the chair.

Your eyes remain fixed on the unsub, watching as he stares you down. He was predictably irrational, moving around you like a wild animal, as if trying to decide what to do with you first.

You may not know where you are exactly, but you know that this unsub likes to keep his victims alive for at least 24 hours after kidnapping them. If he does stick to that pattern, that leaves you with about 20ish hours for your team to come find you. And while you did have complete faith in them, it didn’t stop your heart from pounding faster the closer he came.

Hotch saw the call with your caller ID, and he felt like he could breathe again. He had just stopped in the lot of Grant Park and was walking towards the yellow taped scene when he paused and answered.

“Y/N?” He asked as soon as he hit accept.

“Don’t bother looking, you will never see her again.”

Hotch felt ice in his veins as the line went dead immediately after. The worst thing that could have happened, did. And Hotch felt helpless. His jaw was tense, and his hand curled into a white-knuckled fist around the cell phone. He dropped it to his side, not able to think for a moment.

Then he took a deep breath and dialed Garcia.

“Sir?”

“Can you track L/N’s phone right now?” Hotch asks, feeling the weight of what was happening in his throat as it closed around his words.

“Um, yeah, yes if it’s turned on and if it’s near cell phone towers I should-I should be able to triangulate its location...” While she spoke, she typed. Another few seconds passed without words.

“Garcia?” Hotch said as firmly as he could.

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t- if the phone was turned off or destroyed, I won’t be able to get even an approximation, nothing is coming up at all-”

“Get into contact with the rest of the team, tell them Y/N’s been taken by the unsub.”

“Oh, God. Oh my God, okay.”

Hotch hung up and pocketed his phone. He wipes his hands down his face, frustrated and so fucking angry. With himself, with this case... he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t get you back. Now was the worst time to dwell on it, though. You needed the team's help, and he was going to find you.

Looking around at the scene, he noticed that the rental car wasn’t here either. That means the unsub took it with you inside. He must’ve disabled the GPS, either broke it or threw it away before leaving. Hotch immediately contacted the local Police Department’s office to put out an APB on the black SUV.

Think, think... “Okay, he had a personal connection to Samantha. Not only knew her, he loved her or thought he did. He was angry that she was getting married.”

Hotch drives as fast as he can back to the precinct where he finds everyone else, back from their assignments and looking at him for answers.

“When was she taken?” Prentiss asks first.

“And from where?” Reid adds.

“Between 1:00 and 4:00 am, from the park where Larissa’s body was found.” Hotch says, trying to remain in his usual stoic façade. “He wouldn’t have risked taking her while it was light out. This unsub is bold but he’s still a coward like the rest of them.”

“Did you find anything at the scene?” Morgan asks.

“The car was missing, the unsub had to have taken L/N in it.” Hotch took a deep breath. “He called me from her phone.”

That made everyone stiffen.

Rossi speaks now, “Same message?”

Hotch nods once, which is all he can manage. The team speaks in hushed tones as anxiety takes over. “Right now, we have to assume that she’s alive. This unsub keeps his victims so that he can... torture them so let’s get to work.”

“Yeah, but Hotch... if he knows that L/N’s an FBI agent, there’s no telling if he’ll remain on schedule.” Morgan says, obviously troubled by the thought himself if his face is any indication.

Hotch had considered it, of course. But he refused to accept it. Until there was a body, Y/N was not dead. She couldn’t be.

“What did you find out about Samantha Garner from the missing person's report?” Hotch asks, ignoring the implication of Morgan’s words.

“It was called in by her Fiancé, Riley Perkins.” He replies. “He called the police once he noticed she didn’t come home from work.”

Hotch nods, thinking that the unsub wouldn’t be stupid enough to call in the missing person’s report himself. As much of a narcissist as he is, he wanted to keep pursuing his fantasies.

“And JJ, what’d you get from her parents?” Hotch asks, fingers curled into fists as his arms cross in front of his chest.

“It’s the same story as the other parents, everybody loved her, there was no one who held any grudges.” JJ says. “Her mother did mention an admirer, though.”

“An admirer?” Prentiss repeats.

“Yeah, I guess Sam was getting love letters. Innocuous enough to not raise alarm, but still out of the ordinary.”

“Did she say who they were from?” Hotch says hurriedly.

JJ shakes her head, “No, she had no idea.”

“Prentiss and I got Garcia to dig into Sam and Riley’s relationship,” Rossi says. “They were together only one year before deciding to tie the knot.”

“They seemed to love each other.” Prentiss adds.

“Well looks can be deceiving.” Hotch says. “Garcia got his address, Morgan and Prentiss, with me. The rest of you stay and find out absolutely everything you can about this secret admirer, he’s our unsub.”

When Hotch, Morgan and Prentiss arrived at the suburban home at the end of a cul-de-sac, all three stepped out and quickly made their way to the front door.

Three loud knocks on the front door from Morgan and a few seconds later Riley came out.

“Yes?”

“Are you Riley Perkins?” Hotch asked, though he knew the answer.

“Yes, I am. What is this about?”

“I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner, these are special agents Morgan and Prentiss, may we come in?” He didn’t leave room for Perkins to answer, as he was already stepping inside.

“Um, what-what is this about?” He asks again nervously, stepping aside to let the three of them into his living room.

The house was a mess, laundry and trash littered most of the surfaces. The man himself didn’t look too good, like he hasn’t slept in a week.

“We’re here about your fiancé, Samantha Garner.” Morgan says.

Perkins shifts his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably, not making eye contact. “Did you, um, did you find her?”

“Yes, sir we did.” Morgan responds.

The man's nodding, fidgeting where he stands. “And?”

“Sir, I’m afraid she’s dead.” Morgan explains as calmly as he can.

Hotch notices the way Perkins handles the news, the tenseness of his shoulders dissipating. Not necessarily relieved by the news but accepting. Like he already knew that she was dead.

“Oh my God...” He lifts a palm up to his face and sobs for a moment.

“Mr. Perkins, I’m going to ask you once and if you’re not honest with me, trust that I will know.” Hotch states after he finally stops. The man looks him up and down and nods. “Did you receive a phone call the day your fiancé went missing?”

“I uh- I don’t remember...” Perkins says, again breaking eye contact.

“Yes, you do.” Hotch says, now invading his personal space. “It was the day your fiancé went missing, you knew something was wrong when she didn’t come home from work, you called the police. And then someone called you, didn’t they?”

“I- I mean no I don’t...” Perkins finally looks up and then sighs. “I don’t know who it was, I really, really don’t.”

“What did he say, exactly.” Prentiss asks.

Perkins looks at her and shakes his head a little, “He said... that I shouldn’t look for her, that I- I'll never see her again.” He starts crying again after that.

“Anything else at all? Was he calm, erratic?” Morgan asks.

“He was like, mumbling, I don’t know.”

“There’s something you’re not telling us, if you’re withholding essential information to interfere with a federal investigation, I will see to it that you are charged with obstruction of justice.” Hotch says, angrier by the second.

Perkins looks like he’s going to throw up and his legs give out. He slumps down onto the couch before he can speak. “He said... he said that he would kill me too if I spoke to the police again.” His head is in his hands as he talks. “I knew, I knew the second the news said they discovered a body in Millenium Park.” He was almost incomprehensible through his sobs. “They couldn’t identify her, but I knew.”

“Mr. Perkins... Riley.” Prentiss takes a seat next to him and speaks softly, trying to establish trust. “This man has killed at least five other women.” His cries stopped for a moment when he turned to look at her, a shocked expression on his face. “We need your help in order to stop him.”

“I told you, I swear, I don’t know who it is.”

“We think that you do, you just don’t know it.” Morgan says.

Hotch jumps in, “Samantha was his target from the beginning, he knew her. He may have even known you. Think, was there anyone new in your lives? Someone who seemed a little too friendly too quickly? He would have made you uncomfortable, he was domineering and egotistical.”

“Well, um I didn’t know him, I mean, I never met him,” Perkins says, “but there was a guy. Sam would complain about how annoying he was at work, a new hire. She said he talked her ear off about his life, asked too many personal questions...” He trails off for a minute looking between the three agents. “Do you think this man killed my fiancé?”

“Possibly.” Hotch replies. “I have one more question and then we’ll leave.” Perkins nods, tight-lipped. “Did she mention that this man called her by a different name, maybe her middle name?”

His face changed completely, mouth dropping open and blinking, “Yes! Yeah, she mentioned that he would call her ‘my Violet’ like every day, it bugged her.”

“Thank you for your time.”

Hours had gone by while you stayed strapped to this god damned chair. The torture felt never-ending. The unsub landed blow after blow to your face and stomach, only offering a reprieve when you had temporarily passed out from the pain. You couldn’t see very well out of your left eye and your fingers were involuntarily twitching. The blood in your mouth was metallic and awful, adding to your nausea.

“You know,” The man said, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I appreciate the way you’re hanging on. It will make the ending a lot more fun.”

If you had the energy, you would recoil from his closeness to your face. His breath repulsed you, but you stayed completely still, barely blinking, shallow breaths lifting and lowering your chest.

“Mm, you really need to wake up.” He pushes your head back so that you’re forced to look at him. With his grip in your hair, he strikes you in the face with the back of his hand. “Nothin.”

You couldn’t say with any real accuracy how much time had actually gone by since you were first taken, but you had a feeling that your time was running out. Your thoughts wandered to your team.

You missed talking and joking with Prentiss and JJ, you missed Garcia’s cheery voice over the speaker phone. You wanted to hear Morgan’s stories about picking up women and Rossi’s input that made everyone laugh. You wanted to hear Reid ramble about nothing and everything. Mostly, you find yourself thinking about Hotch.

You missed walking into the BAU and knowing you would find him in his office. You thought about his stern face and wanted to know what it would be like to reach your hands out and touch him, wipe away his anger and guilt. You wanted another silent morning where the two of you would sit in the conference room and drink your coffees, enjoying the comfortable silence of the early hours.

You wanted to see his rare, but beautiful smile. The kind of thing that had to be earned; it was the best. As you thought more about him, the sadder you got. You should’ve told him, even just once, how much you liked his company... how much you liked him.

When Hotch, Morgan, and Prentiss get back to the precinct, Reid’s discovered something. He and the rest of the team have been working the secret admirer angle, which they now knew was a coworker at Samantha’s law office.

“All of the bouquets of violets left at the victim’s families homes came with a note, they all said the same thing. ‘My condolences, -K.M.’” Reid explains quickly.

Hotch knows they’re running out of time, it was already past noon, and the team was restless, but this gave him a spur of hope that they were getting close. He pulled out his phone and dialed Garcia’s number.

“Ready and waiting.” She said.

“Garcia,” Hotch’s voice was stern if not a little shaky with anxiety, “was there anyone in Samantha Garner’s workplace with the initials K.M.?”

“Uhhhh, nine.”

“Cross-check those names with anyone arrested for minor charges, assault or something similar, he would be in his 30’s or 40’s now, white.”

“Only one, a Kyle Mazdin, arrested four years ago for breaking into an ex-girlfriend's home and burglarizing it, then arrested again for a bar fight where he nearly killed a man.”

“We’ll need his address immediately.”

“You’ve got it.”

20 minutes later Rossi and JJ were at Mazdin’s office, and the rest of the team was at Mazdin’s home.

Hotch screeched to a stop in the front of the seemingly normal house, “Prentiss with me, Morgan, take the back of the house, Reid through the garage.”

All of them nodded in silent acknowledgment. Morgan and Reid broke off, headed to the side gate, while Hotch and Prentiss entered through the front.

“FBI! Kyle Mazdin, open up!” Hotch yelled. They only waited a few seconds before bursting inside.

The door was unlocked, and they quickly moved from room to room on the first floor with their guns out and ready, yelling “Clear!” before heading upstairs. There was nothing on the second floor either, making Hotch exhale a frustrated breath.

“Hold on.” Prentiss said, stopping Hotch. “You hear that?”

Hotch furrowed his brows and listened. “No, I don’t-”

Just then, a creaking noise from below. Like light footsteps, moving carefully.

Prentiss and Hotch shared a look before running back down the stairs, but there was still nothing. Morgan and Reid were inside, also trying to find the source of the noise.

“The rental car is in the garage.” Reid said quickly and quietly.

“Anything out back?” Prentiss asked Morgan, who shook his head.

Another noise came from behind the team as they stood in the living space, next to the staircase. Hotch moves silently over to the cabinet door that’s connected to the wall under the stairs. It swings open and his gun and flashlight point at nothing. It’s empty save for a few coats hanging on a rack. But looking down, he sees a square-shaped covering with a latch.

Hotch motions for Morgan, who stands ready to open it. As soon as he does, Hotch points his flashlight and gun down, where he sees another set of stairs leading to a hidden basement. Hotch’s jaw tenses and his grip of the glock tightens as he makes his way down, hearing the footsteps of his team behind him.

As he gets halfway down, he sees a lamp illuminating your figure which is tied to a chair in the center of the room. Mazdin is behind you, the metal wire already wrapped around your neck, not tight enough to kill you, but forceful enough to threaten.

“Let her go now.” Hotch’s voice is strained, his anger making it hard to remain still. He can hear the rest of the team coming down the stairs and stopping by his side, also training their guns on the man. “You have nowhere to go, it ends here.”

“Yes, it does.” Mazdin says, pulling the wire tighter against your throat, making you jerk back a little in your chair.

Hotch dared to look at your face, bloody and bruised, and it made his stomach churn. You were conscious, making eye contact with him and taking shallow breaths. Hotch’s heart was beating out of his chest, unable to stop when he took a step closer to you.

“Another step and she’s dead.” The man said, keeping his grip on the wire.

Hotch’s gun was burning in his hand as it was aimed at the unsub’s head, finger twitching on the trigger. “Drop your weapon and no one else dies today.” Mazdin was taking deep, shaking breaths, debating his next move. Hotch knew the man didn’t want to die, but he most certainly didn’t want to go to jail either. “Everyone will know what you did, and why. How the love of your life betrayed you, how you got your payback... even how you managed to abduct a Federal Agent. But only if you let her go.”

Hotch could tell the words were at least getting through to him. His grip slackened, his back straightening a bit. Morgan and Prentiss took the opportunity and rushed him, immediately tacking Mazdin to the floor. He struggled and yelled, but Morgan kept him still enough for Prentiss to cuff him. At the same time, Hotch rushed to Y/N, holstering his gun.

“Get him out of here.” Hotch told Morgan, who roughly dragged Mazdin up to his feet and forced him up the staircase and out of the house where the local police had finally shown up. Reid and Prentiss followed, holstering their guns as well, only after Hotch informed them to grab paramedics for you.

“It’s okay.” Hotch was saying as he knelt down to your level, all anger dissipating and worry replacing it. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He holds Y/N’s head in his hands gently, trying to gauge the damage to her face and body. The blood coming from her nose was extensive, and the blood on his hand indicated a serious head injury. He couldn’t tell if anything was broken just yet.

“Okay, I’m going to get these off of you, alright?” Hotch asks you while tugging on the ropes, but your eyes were drifting closed. “No, Y/N, no you have to stay awake for me, you may have a concussion, the paramedics are on their way, okay?” She met his eyes finally and then smiled a little bit. It made his chest tighten in response.

“Okay.” Her voice was uneven, probably because of lack of hydration and near strangulation. It made his frown deepen, but he made sure to work quickly at untying the restraints. “Aaron.”

He stopped at the sound of his first name on your lips. It was very rare that you called him Aaron, it made his breath catch for a moment as he removed the last bit of rope from her ankles and looked up at her. Y/N was staring at him with an indescribable look on her face, exhaustion and relief but also pain. “Thank you for finding me... I knew that you would.”

Hotch didn’t know what to say. He had sent her away- their last interaction wasn’t a very good one, but she was here, alive and thanking him. It made that warmth from the other night in the precinct return. “Let's get you out of here.” Hotch gently slipped his arms up underneath Y/N so that he could lift her to her feet as the paramedics came down. Her groan of pain made his jaw tense, but he didn’t stop.

The EMT’s asked if she could walk and Y/N nodded, though she leaned most of her weight onto Hotch. He didn’t mind, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist and helping her up the stairs, into the living room. Once the two of you had made it outside, Hotch allowed the EMT’s to take her. She lay on the cot in the ambulance, and Hotch kept his hand in hers the whole ride to the hospital.

He watched as you drifted off, thinking just how much trouble they had gone through just to get you to sleep.

#aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #reader insert #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch fic #angst #hurt comfort #kidnapping #mutual pining #insomnia #protective hotch #concerned hotch #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #david rossi #spencer reid #derek morgan #jennifer jareau

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smolwritingchick · 7 months ago

Text

Ah ok! Update and Three Smol Previews for Bangtan Gal :)

Okay, good news, I am hoping to post the wrestling chapters tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. It's almost done. Gonna let that be for a bit after I post and continue focusing on Bangtan Gal. A few chapters are boring imo but the later chapters have more drama.

Also, good news with Bangtan Gal, the second chapter I plan to post, MAMA Awards 2016 is done. I just need to reread and edit.

It's 18,000+ words. I...went overboard. I am so sorry. I don't know how to stop. I guess pace yourself?? I had a lot of ideas and it kept flowing. It's MAMA Award heavy and I was writing about people's reactions.

I have to split the MAMA Awards chapter into Part 1 (A big moment happens) and Part 2 (Jennie's response to Hyuna) because I can't fit all my words in one Tumblr post. (It's THAT bad lmfao this never happened to me before. I have a problem)

So I will link both parts of that chapter in the author's note and masterlist when it's uploaded. You'll also see the links at the end of the chapter to continue reading or to go back to read part 1 of that chapter.

All I need to do is work on is the chapter before. Which is The 3rd Muster chapter. It shouldn't take too long. Once that's done and edited, expect those two and a half chapters to be released together. Thanks for your patience! I hope the writing isn't too crazy with what I have planned.

I truly liked the ideas I came up with :)

Here's another smol preview for the MAMA Award chapter. Three Smol Scenes.

------

The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.

'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen'

Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.

-------

With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.

"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.

"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"

"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.

"You just did it again,"

"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.

------

Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.

Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.

Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.

Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.

Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.

However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.

Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.

'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.

Fans tweet:

'Not again!! Enough already!'

'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'

'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'

'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'

'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'

'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'

'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'

'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'

'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'

'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'

'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'

'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'

'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'

#smol update #smol preview

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otrtbs · 11 months ago

Note

hi!!

thank you so much for everything that you’ve contributed to this fandom, seriously, your time has been invaluable. people treat fanfic authors like a writing machine, but no, this is just your hobby!!

i was wanting to ask about your writing process:

1. when writing, do you usually write most/all of your fic before starting to post it?

2. how much do you outline before starting to write?

3. how do you keep up with what seems to be a semi regular posting schedule (as in like, staying committed to a fic and actually completing it lol)

sorry if you’ve already answered any of these before :)

hey hey heyo!!! this is so sweet!!

it honestly depends! with ahb!, i had a very good direction and plan on where i was taking the fic so i knew each chapter before i sat down to write it! but winterlude was more free-form. i was like, i want these 15 things to happen over 4 chapters lets make it work! and then with the dinner fic, that's one that i am writing out in its entirety before i post it. because there's a lot of details and web-weaving that go into it, and if i drop a thread somewhere it'll make the whole tory unravel, so it has to be complete before anyone else sees it. so it really depends on the vibe/intricacy of the fic!!

most of the time i'll try to outline a solid timeline with beginning and then major points to the end in chronological order. (so with art heist imagine like: 1. james introduction. 2. job interview/acquisition 3. assembling the heist team 4. meeting the team 5. new hampshire training 6. practice heist 7. heist 8. art swaps (berlin/amsterdam/portofino/copenhagen) 9. regulus death 10. grieving 11. healing 12. ending) <- and then i would go in and fill in things like,,, how does a jegulus relationship develop amidst all of this? and then you get sub-plot points like the museum date, the drowning degas, the auction house date, etc. until you get a pretty good fleshed-out idea! and then as i write and have even more ideas, i can plop them down somewhere on the timeline (amsterdam coffeeshop meeting/last supper group dinner/ etc) . and before writing each chapter,,, i sort of break chapters down into mini-stories with their own beginnings, middle, ends. just to make sure something is happening in each chapter, and it has structure.

this is putting so much faith in me hahah!! my posting schedule ranges from twice in one week to once in 4-6 months. and sometimes i just delete works if im not feeling them anymore ah! but!! i will say, the biggest way i stay committed to completing a story is having an ending in mind that i'm excited to execute or get to!! like something on the horizon at the end of the story normally motivates me to write enough to get to that point. but it's also just okay to stop writing a certain story if you're feeling uninspired!! sometimes, when i'm feeling burnt-out with one story and i'm not motivated to finish it, i'll just leave it alone and go work on something i'm actually interested in for a while until i feel the interest spark up again!! (hence...months between uploads sometimes) 😋

#asks #hope this makes sense!! sorry for the ramble !!

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theresnoturningback · 4 months ago

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Year One - Friday - JojaCola

A/N: So I finally made some time to upload this chapter. I am very excited about this one because I could finally start playing with the ASS trio dinamic. Also I could write with Sam, who I find completely adorable. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I always try to make them short so it's an easy read. Please, please, if you do like it, consider reblogging it. This is just a hobby of mine, I don't take it very seriously but seeing some validation would do wonders for my self-esteem.

Word Count: 1374

Dahlia had been counting seconds for the weekend to come. Every day she thought about Abigail’s invitation to hang out with her and her friends. The thought of that moment gave her the motivation she needed to do her chores. She hesitated before the entrance to the Stardrop Saloon and made sure she was decent enough to present herself to society. She was usually very confident about her looks, but she hadn’t been the new girl in a long time. She inhaled and exhaled to let go of her apprehensions. When she was about to step in, a tall figure opened the door for her.

“Please, after you” A grinning blonde man winked at her.

“My, what a gentleman, thanks” She chuckled after she could compose herself from that first impression.

Once she entered the saloon, the young man that let her in nodded his head as he walked past her, leading her to a comfortable room beyond the booths.

“Aw…You guys met already?” Abigail jumped from the sofa to greet them

“Met who?” Dahlia blinked

“We haven’t met properly, Abby. We just ran into each other outside; I figured it was the new farmer you talked about” The blond guy explained.

“Uh… I’m still lost” Dahlia sighed

“I’m Sam. Good to meet you”

“Dahlia” She shook his hand, smiling along. He had a very contagious smile.

“Hey, you just moved in, right?” A man slightly taller than Abigail asked before walking closer to the group

“Yeah, just this week, actually”

“Cool…and out of all the places you chose Pelican Town?” The judgmental tone in his observation made her raise her eyebrows

“I guess it wasn’t much of a choice” She shrugged “I had nowhere else to go, what’s your excuse?”

“C’mon, Dahlia… you make it sound like you’re escaping your impending doom…” Abigail laughed “Please, excuse our friend Sebby, he comes off as rude at first, but he’s adorable once you get to know him”

“Can you not call me that in here?” Sebastian nudged Abigail while Sam laughed. Once more, Dahlia found herself laughing with him. Their eyes met, making her blush for a second. She looked down at her shoes and around the room.

“No way, you guys have Joja Cola in here? Sweet” She ran to a vending machine by the arcade games

Sebastian rolled his eyes and sat back down on the couch

“You really like that stuff?” Abigail grimaced

“Leave her, she has great taste” Sam leaned on Abigail’s shoulder

“I got addicted to these when I started working at JojaCorp. You’d think they would have other options in the building. In that floor it was just us and a bunch of JojaCola vending machines”

“You worked for JojaCorp?” Abigail crossed her arms, making Sam lose balance.

Dahlia nodded.

“Same here” he said

“You have a part-time job at the local JojaMart, Sam, it’s not the same” Sebastian argued

“Still, it’s the same evil mega-corporation”

“I hated every second of it. That’s why I moved here. I just couldn’t take it anymore, but I’d trade the farm in a heartbeat for a sip of JojaCola” Dahlia reached for her pocket to take out some coins for the machine “Anyone want one?”

“Yuck” Abigail sat down next to Sebastian

“I’d like one” Sam raised his hand

“Of course you would, you human trash can” Sebastian laughed

Dahlia bought two cans and gave one to Sam

“Thanks, I promise I’ll pay it back” he said, slightly touching her fingers as she passed him the can

“You don’t have to, it’s my pleasure” She winked

“Hey, you two” Abigail called “If you’re done eye-fucking, come sit with us”

“So, how do you like the Valley so far?” Sebastian asked Dahlia as she and Sam sat next to each other on a red couch

“It’s calm, I like that. I wanted to be as far away from the city as possible and my grandpa left me his farm. I don’t know the first thing about farming besides what I’ve learned when I started growing pot in my apartment” She laughed “But I’m sure I’ll learn in no time”

“Do you plan on growing weed in your farm?” He leaned forward

“You bet those were the first seeds I bought before moving the city. They’re already in the soil. I’ll let you know when they’re ready to harvest”

“Neat” Sebastian gave her an approving nod.

“I told you she was cool” Abigail nudged Sebastian.

“Ouch, Abby, not so hard!” He narrowed his eyes at her “Control your strength, woman”

Sam cleared his throat after a sip of his cola and turned to his new friend

“Say Dalhia, do you play pool?”

She glanced at the green table and nodded with confidence

“Do you guys gamble?” She asked

The three of them shook their heads.

“I told you she was too cool for us” Sebastian whispered to Abigail

“Maybe a quick game?” Sam insisted

“Sure, let’s sink some balls” Dahlia said excitedly before finishing her cola

The group stood up and started a quick game of cutthroat pool. Dahlia sank her rival’s balls in less than fifteen minutes.

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t gamble. Stay in school” She laughed once she sank Sebastian’s last ball.

“Wow, you have to teach me how to do that” Abigail took Dahlia’s hands “Pretty please?” She insisted jumping up and down in place

“I will, but maybe some other time? I must wake up early tomorrow” She promised

“Wait, you’re going home already? Let me walk you home” Sam offered hastily

“I don’t know Sam, it’s a rather long walk, are you sure you can handle it?”

“Just go” Sebastian and Abigail said in unison

“Bye, Abby! It was nice meeting you, Sebby” Dahlia giggled. He immediately glared at Abigail

Sam and Dahlia left the Saloon and started walking together until the silence started to feel awkward.

“What…? Don’t tell me you turn shy when your friends aren’t around” Dahlia looked up at him, giggling. He had a serious expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking…”

“About what?”

“You know when you have so many thoughts in your head you can’t focus on a single one?”

“Oh”

“I was actually trying to remember if the girl that used to come during the summer and play with us really was you or someone else”

“I spent a couple of summers here when I was little” She nodded “Now I remember you”

“So, it was you!” Sam laughed “You used to be taller than me, what happened to you?”

“You were shorter because you’re younger than me, that’s all”

“What? No…” He frowned “I remember Abby and Seb were 5 and I was 6…How old were you then? You couldn’t be much older than that”

“I was 9. I’m turning 26 in a couple of weeks”

“Huh, time flies…”

“It sure does”

They continued walking a little slower

“You stopped coming that summer, Abby and I missed you the following year”

“My dad had just died, and my mom took me to another city, far away from here” Dahlia shrugged

“I’m sorry to hear that”

“It’s okay…it’s been a long time” She looked around, smiling “I missed this place, too”

“You know... I used to live in the city, and I have to admit, this place is much nicer in the summer. The city is so hot with all that concrete”

“I can get used to this” She caught him glancing at her and they let out a small laugh “I mean, I’m so done with the city. I just wanted to start a new life in here”

“If you need help with anything, we’re friends now”

“Thank you” She tried to focus on her own shoes as she walked to avoid that smile she was starting to find too adorable to ignore

“This is your place?” Sam asked when they got to the end of the trail

“Yeah, this is me” She turned to him and stood on her toes to give him a small peck on his cheek “Thank you for the walk down memory lane”

Dahlia ran back to her house, leaving Sam standing without a single thought left in his mind.

#stardew valley fanfiction #sdv fanfiction #sdv fic #fanfiction #sdv sam #sdv abigail #sdv sebastian

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oddeyevibes · 1 year ago

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Chapter 10: Dallas, Texas, 1960

Summary

Y/N grapples with the situation and tries to figure out what to do next.

Warnings? Click Here!

A/N: Officially starting season 2!! I have some fun character stuff in mind for Y/N but I also wanted to thank everyone who has been reading up to this point. I ended up moving and for whatever reason, it was just way more traumatic and exhausting than it has ever been for me so I was very much not going to get anything else like fanfiction done which sucked because every time I was like "writing would make me feel so much better" but I don't wanna upload stuff when I'm in a terrible state, y'know.

On April the 1st, 2019, the Earth was destroyed in a cataclysmic event.

Billions of people were wiped out in a matter of minutes.

Ironically, the eight survivors of the apocalypse were the very siblings who brought it on.

——✨——

Dallas, Texas, 1960

Again, unbeknownst to you, you missed out on Ben and Klaus...by two weeks specifically.

As of right now, it's been about...20 minutes since you were literally dropped in Dallas and you still had no plans on what to do and how to do it. There was no way of reaching Five, who would know what to do immediately.

Currently, you were sitting on a bench plotting your next move and hoping that maybe one of the others would show up.

'Why am I so freaked out though? I've been on my own before, right? I can do this. Just breath girly.' You took deep breaths. Ignoring the casual side-eyes your were receiving from people walking past.

You only half paid attention to the elderly woman that sat down next to you.

'Ok, first thing's first: I need somewhere to stay. Like a motel or something. But motels cost money....clothes to blend in cost money...food cost money..................................I need money.'

But you had a strong feeling that a job wasn't going to just drop into your lap. Hell, a "decent" job didn't even drop into your lap last time. No, if you wanna stay above water right now, you have to stay outside the box.

Then you had a lightbulb moment.

"I can just rob a bank."

You literally could. The technology now has nothing on the technology of the future. You and your siblings are all 80s babies so the odds of everyday people knowing about people with superpowers was sitting nicely at maybe....5%?

With your powers, you could....probably get away scot-free. Healing, which would be good in case of gunfire. Shielding which would...also be good in case of gunfire. You could even spin that you're some alien warlord and get people to stand down....nah, that's too much.

You had a massive issue though.

'How can I get out of dodge quick enough?'

You're not necessarily a fast running and you ain't got no blink powers like Five.

You crossed your arms, one of your feet tapping impatiently. 'Would be useful if I could fly...but flying bank robber would definitely make the news. I would need to run like...'

A new lightbulb moment.

'...the speed of light!'

"Holy shit, why didn't I think of this earlier?" You turned to the woman, who jumped at the suddenness of you jumping up from the bench.

To make it all the more awkward, you started pacing around the bench. Now when people looked at the bench, they would see an elderly lady being hovered by....a disturbed woman...pretending to be a....vulture?

"Light travels at like.........a lot of miles per second. It's just PEWWWM!"

You even made a hand gesture and off instinct the tips of your fingers lit up, shocking the old woman but she shrugged it off as just her eyesight messing with her. That and she was getting roped into your excitement.

"Light just goes, so why can't I, right?"

She nodded. Confused but she got spirit.

"What is stopping me from running from one end to another...like that?" You snapped your fingers.

The woman shrugged.

"I never really tried...I don't think." You muttered. "I need somewhere to practice and I have to get it right before I do anything else. I have to maintain it."

You turned to her, again, the suddenness making her jump. But her anxiety was put as ease when she saw you smiling at her.

"This was a good talk, thank you. Hope you have a great day~!"

She watched you walk off with a pep in your step. Once you were out of clear sight, she shook her head at the interaction. "That girl was weird....but...weird girls usually persevere." She then reached into her purse, pulling out a chocolate and happily popping it into her mouth. The woman was speaking from experience, of course.

——✨——

It was late in the evening where you found a track to practice in. You had to wait a bit for the remnants of both its track team and football team to leave.

Once the coast was clear, you began your solo training. It started with thinking. How exactly were you meant to will your powers into letting you run as fast as light? All the times you've run from danger before, it hadn't happen which left with you using your light shield.

So it wasn't some...natural instinct.

You observed your hands, turning them over. "Maybe it's as simple as just running while powered up?"

So you willed your hands to emit your signature white glow and took off...but no dash. Just a normal run. So you went back to your starting line.

"Ok...that didn't work. Then...how would it work?"

You paced back and forth.

"Maybe I have to...visualize going through a wormhole?"

So that was the next attempt. Music videos, movies, tv shows, and comics, you're sure you know what a wormhole looks like. So you stood tall and envisioned a wormhole. Like a visual manifestation but...nothing happened.

Still standing in the same spot you were in before.

"Well, that's not it. Um...maybe...I snap my fingers and do it?"

So you closed your eyes and snapped them, envisioning yourself...somewhere else. Then you opened your eyes...and you were still where you were initially. So that's not it.

You let out a frustrated huff. This was going to be awhile.

And while it was. You tried everything that you felt could be plausible. From shouting which direction to shouting where you wanted to end up. That didn't work.

You also tried snapping and running. That didn't work and you felt like an idiot even though no one else was there to witness you making a fool of yourself.

You also tried snapping your fingers and making it seem like you were going to break into a run but that didn't work.

You eventually took a break. You were getting hungry. Rummaging through your pocket, you managed to find about 25 bucks. That wasn't bad, especially for now, that should get you a good meal so you can keep trying to figure this out.

——✨——

To be honest, you were so used to there being places open really late, you didn't really conceive the idea that so many stores could be closed.

So many of these diners were closed. But so many of them still had different treats on display. Really mouth watering treats. Like some lost orphan child, you couldn't help but stop and just look longingly at.

"God, I wish I could just phase through this glass right now."

It would make you feel terrible to rob a mom & pop establishment though. It would make you feel even more terrible to make a huge mess all for some donuts.

Then you glanced up and saw a "whites only" sign.

"Oh....then fuck'em."

Now you wanted to make a mess out of spite but you would be long gone by the time police showed up and who knows who they'd blame if you did this.

"Still, if I could just..." You snapped your fingers and nonchalantly pointed towards the window, specifically inside the diner.

You weren't prepared. It all happened in an instant.

You pointed and suddenly a aura of white light quickly formed around you and you found yourself smashing into the plexiglass and being sent to the ground.

"Owww, what the fuck?" You groaned.

You rubbed the center of your forehead before the realization set in on what you had just done.

"Did I just--" You slowly stood up, straightening out your clothes. "Holy shit, I did, didn't I?"

Looking down at your hands, you witnessed the white glow fading from your hands. You figured it out. Somehow it seemed like such a basic way to activate it but...it also seemed so goofy but...it worked for you...weirdly enough.

So you tried it again. This time your target was moving across the street. You waited for the lone care to drive by, it's curmudgeon looking driver giving you a stink-eye.

Once he was gone, you snapped and pointed across the street. In an instant, you appeared on the other side without issue. Much like before, it was preceded by a white aura surrounding you. You could only imagine what it looked like to someone looking.

"Oh my god," you let out a chuckle of disbelief. "I can light dash. Have I really always been able to do that?"

Your dad would've probably never entertained the idea of snapping and moving. Probably would've thought it was childish as hell never mind the fact that y'all were children.

But who cares about that right now?

You can light dash now.

And while it's not what you would've preferred (being able to become intangible would've been WAYYY better but you'll take it).

You just have to work with it. You also have to work with finding a good offensive use of your ability which wouldn't be hard. You've just never used your abilities for offense but for support and defense.

Now....you have to make real nice acquaintances with the local bank.

#ben hargreeves x reader #florescent fic #tua x reader #ben hargreeves x you

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newyggdrasil · 1 year ago

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Chapter 1 - Lunnec

youtube

Fenrir was laid down in his blanket. The child was crying, but his older brother didn't see him. He felt responsible for his brother's wounds. Bit by bit he fell asleep while his tears down his cheeks.

Lunnec was sitting, thinking about his horrible day. I can't explain how much I hate him. He is calm, sleeping on the other side of the cave while I am suffering in pain from my arm. Lunnec thought in the meantime that he looked at his little brotherFenrir. I should have let the Slandras eat him, my life would be easier. Shit! I don't understand why this wound doesn't heal, usually, I would get well in a few minutes, but this time constantly is hurting. The cut is festering an odd green thing I hope that it doesn't be serious

The campfire lights up the cave while the brothers were each on one side of the cave. Then their father entered the cave. Asktré is a giant man, two meters of muscle and fire, a powerful warrior trained in different battles. On his back carried Fimbulkadr a big rectangle sword decorate with four runes. In his hand had golden herbs with a violet flower.

"Does it still hurt you?" Asktré asked his eldest son while he sat near him.

"I can bear it, I'm not a child," Lunnec said while Asktré put the medicines in his son's forearm, and he bandaged him with a clean piece of cloth. Lunnec felt as if the skin burned. He wanted to yell for the pain but he didn't.

"You aren't but you behave like one," Asktré said keeping calm, although it was evident his anger.

Asktré wasn't the kind of father that yell at his sons but had a conversation when you disappoint him, it's a disgraceful experience.

"He said that was ready to fight," Lunnec said while looking away, trying to avoid his father's disappointed look.

"Your brother is eleven years old; he cannot decide it and you neither. If I say stay behind and protect your brother, you comply with my order."

Lunnec stood up. "This isn't fair, you trained me since a child to be a warrior not to be a babysitter," he said while going around.

"Lower your voice, boy. Fenrir is sleeping."

Lunnec relaxed and turn his back, he knew that when his father called him boy, things are getting serious. "Everything was simpler when you and I were alone," he whisper.

"Fenrir only has us, we must train him how I train you."

"But he isn't like us. He's weak and his powers are uncontrolled. Besides you also need help, you prepare me for that."

Asktré approached his son and looked into his eyes. "My duty is to protect you and your brother, but your duty is to protect your brother over anything else. Now I'm tired, does it still hurt you?"

Lunnec had forgotten his cut, he removed the herbs and saw a scar over. "Not, I'm good but I will have a big scar on my arm," he said taking his sword and putting it near his bed.

"Okey, you go to sleep. I will guard the entrance your brother is very tired as for he makes an alert spell. I think that slandras are not the worse to live on this island.

"I can help you," Lunnec said. Asktré looked at his son and Lunnec understood the answer at once. "Good night Father," Lunnec said.

He lay down and fell asleep quickly. Asktré sat on a rock next to the cave's entrance and saw the stars mixed with the beautiful aurora created by the fumes of Nidavellir's factories.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to read more, new chapters are uploaded Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays on tumblr and Wattpad.

#NewYggdrasil #MaliciousWood #fantasy #adventure #high fantasy #family #writes #norse mythology #writeblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #books #web novel #also on wattpad #chapter #chapter 1

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jazlynriddle · 17 days ago

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Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 17:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: This chapter contains smut! It's er, finger lickin' good. Just, not fingers.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Implied era-appropriate religious abuse. Blowjob!

Okay, now that I think about it retrospectively, they're horny teens, it should have been obvious that smut was going to happen after the angst, but I definitely didn't plan this lol. Oh well, who's gonna complain about more smut anyway xP

And of course, 10,400 words. Damn, that's a really round number. Well, I guess it's fine since I managed to write this chapter pretty fast. I'm better with this in-head type of writing, I suck at descriptive writing so it always takes me forever and a ton of energy.

When I was a kid in school the standard advice given by teachers to the class was always to write descriptive English composition essays and NEVER touch argumentative.

And I was always the one kid who got the opposite advice; please choose argumentative, your description of the world around you sucks balls, surely you have more to say about the trip to the market than “the light was searing my retinas and the long walk made my legs ache but I bought the items successfully”. How was the air feeling? Don't remember. What were you smelling? A lot of things. Who did you see? Human beings I guess?

Though in fairness, now that I know I'm autistic, it's probably because I was constantly experiencing sensory overload and couldn't register my environment without being hit with pain, or the extreme tunnel vision and goal oriented brain xP

Edit: And for my Tumblr-only readers, I deeply apologise, but we have finally caught up to where I am currently writing! So, you'll have to wait for the next chapters like the rest of my readers on AO3, but in the meantime, I'll also be uploading my old artwork and one of my older fics to a separate blog here on Tumblr as well. So, there'll still be some content appearing, just not really HL. Though I do have two other HL short fics in the works that will probably start going up sometime soon on both AO3 and Tumblr.

Anyway, for this fic series, my Tumblr upload time is every second Sat 3pm PST, which is this coming weekend.

The chapters do go up three hours earlier on AO3, at noon PST, just because mistakes and better ways to phrase sentences always pop up after I hit the upload button and it's far easier to edit chapters on AO3 on mobile. Tumblr lags because my chapters are too long lol

Now, although I try my best to keep to that schedule, I often have to skip an upload and I will usually announce that ahead of time on the chapter that I'm uploading. As I likely will for chapter 19 because my next week is literally full, like 9 days filled to the brim. I am so fucked. So, that would mean 4 weeks between uploads if that happens.

Also the end notes for this chapter are really long... but the next chapter's is even longer. OTL

“Darlng.” Ominis murmured around his toothbrush, as the sound of brushing beside him slowed and gradually ground to a halt.

When he got no response, he reached across to prod the Keeper in the side with his wand and they jumped, telling him that they had indeed gotten distracted in the middle of brushing their teeth.

“Mm? O’ righ.” Came the muffled reply and the sound of their brushing resumed.

Honestly, not encouraging. The Keeper had been wearing the armlet since tea and they'd been markedly absent-minded since then.

Trailing off mid-sentence, drifting off while Ominis was talking and missing his words. Which was rather frustrating, truth be told, he'd gotten used to how attentive they always were with him, but at least they hadn't slipped up and accidentally taken some of the Pain energy.

According to them, at least.

“Hey, have either of you seen the newspaper? I wanted to finish the word search before bed.” Sebastian asked, poking his head into the bathroom.

Almost reflexively, Ominis felt the answer, that he hadn't seen it, surface in his mind. However, instead of saying it, he simply spat in the sink and began to rinse his mouth, because he was not speaking to Sebastian and hadn't since their fight in the afternoon.

Does anything even need to change? His boyfriend's words echoed in his head, and Ominis took a deep breath as he dried his hands and face.

How could Sebastian even say that? This whole Pain energy thing was supposed to be a means to an end, when they did what they needed to, the Keeper would stop taking such a dangerous thing. Going through withdrawal alone had been awful for them, surely that was enough indication of its dangers?

With all the experiments, and the ever-increasing amount of Pain energy the Keeper had to take to stay withdrawal, every day where nothing went wrong was a miracle. They just needed to keep winning the coin toss, survive taking it till Dìon castle had been brought to life and Anne was cured, and until then, they shouldn't rock the boat.

Was that not the plan? Why was Sebastian talking like the Keeper was going to be taking that poison even after they'd achieved those goals? When had he decided that the Keeper taking Pain energy forever was worth the risk? To what? Be powerful enough to kill dragons? How long did those two intend for all this to go on?

Ominis wasn't sure he could handle being under that stress for the rest of their lives together.

Even if Sebastian was right and the Keeper was immune to becoming a monster because of their Ancient Magic, as the only Ancient Mage, they could not possibly prove such a thing until they hit a problem. And that problem could easily be death.

Not to mention, if something unexpected happened and they needed to hide or lie low, and couldn't get more Pain energy, they'd be at risk of dying.

What would they do if that happened!? Ominis’ jaw tightened, no, he knew what they'd do, Sebastian would ask Ominis to cast the bloody Cruciatus curse on him, again , just to give the Keeper his Pain. Nausea churned in his stomach, sick and sour with guilt and shame.

The sound of his partners talking hummed in the background as Ominis followed them to bed, climbing onto the right side and lying down on his back tiredly, their words like senseless noise in his ears. How could they be so cavalier? As though neither were worried about the dangers and terrifying quantity of unknowns in this entire venture.

“Love...” Ominis felt a gentle touch against his face and the Keeper's voice, warm in his ear. “Thinking when tired doesn't get anyone anywhere. Try to get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, and we can talk more, alright?”

The endless optimism of his partners really was unbearable. Wordlessly, Ominis turned onto his side. He highly doubted that some sleep would magically fix this.

The Keeper sighed as they gazed at his curled up back, before taking a glance over at Sebastian on the other side of them as he laid down, refusing to so much as look in Ominis’ direction. They had no idea how to fix this.

They sort of agreed with Sebastian on the actual issue at hand, there hadn't been evidence so far that taking Pain energy was any worse on the body than coffee, which was also addictive but not harmful unless some idiot overdosed.

Though their confidence was more because the Keeper felt both that the short-term benefits were worth a potential cost and knew that they could weather any ailment in their lovers’ names, rather than the speculative optimism that Sebastian bore.

It was a problem that Sebastian had, being too optimistic, to the point of wishful thinking. What with how convinced he had been that the relic was the answer when there was no discernible link between Inferi and Anne's curse. It's not resolve if you delude yourself into believing that nothing would go wrong and thus never prepare for things to go wrong.

The similarity between him and the Keeper themselves, was that they simply preferred to suffer the consequences of trying their best, over letting fear halt their steps and to go to bed wishing that they had done more. To be resigned and consigned to whatever fate had in store for them, like Ominis often was.

However, they also understood that Ominis simply wasn't as resolved to accept the consequences of his or their actions. That he could not bear the thought of either of his partners coming to any harm, regardless of how worthy the cause, and that came too from a place of love. If a bit short sighted.

That Ominis was, as ever, mired in doubt. A fear that he didn't truly know his partners. A fear that burned Sebastian, the straightforward boy, hurt that someone he loved so deeply would doubt said love, after everything he'd done to prove it. For while Sebastian had few scruples, he carried a naivety that, ironically , the Keeper thought might have come from Ominis.

After all, what greater proof that a good person could use the Unforgivables, than Ominis himself? What greater evidence that exceptions existed, when an heir of Slytherin was the least purist person he knew? A blind boy, yet sensitive enough to see what few others could. If the Keeper had grown up beside a walking miracle, they might have believed in miracles too.

They knew that Sebastian would readily throw his very life away for Ominis and themselves. Though getting Ominis to see that as the selfless love it was in Sebastian's mind, rather than as the selfishness it instead was in Ominis’, was a feat that the Keeper had no clue how to accomplish.

Lying down with a tired sigh, they really hoped that this would be resolved soon, being sandwiched between the two stubborn boys in the middle of a tiff really was the worst place to be. If it were anyone else, the Keeper would have hit them both on the head and left the boys to sort it out themselves a long time ago.

All this really wasn't helping them resist taking a whiff of Pain energy either. The warm fog had been following them around as they finished preparing the third cell in anticipation of their next subject, and they'd taken the opportunity to explain the collars and their theory about the two ways one could consume Pain energy to Ominis, while he did a routine check on Macnair and Selwyn.

Though it had taken a lot of effort to do so when they kept getting distracted, by the enticing warmth of the armlet, especially with how cold the boys were being. Closing their eyes, they let the exhaustion of the day, of resisting their addiction, carry them into sleep. Hopefully they wouldn't accidentally take some while unconscious...

As the Keeper's breathing evened out beside him, Sebastian fought the urge to turn around and snuggle up to them, his eyes burning, ashamed that he couldn’t quite bring himself to apologise for losing his head earlier. He did understand that Ominis was just scared, but he was scared too goddammit.

Did being afraid give Ominis leave to hurt him this way every time he got scared? Did Ominis think it was fine to hurt Sebastian or the Keeper emotionally whenever he got anxious? The possibility was terrifying, and he didn't want to believe it could be true.

Yet, even when Sebastian had done everything he could think of to assuage Ominis’ fears, nothing had worked. If Ominis wasn't willing to meet them in the middle, couldn't even talk about things rationally, how were they supposed to get anywhere?

They didn't have ten years for Ominis to slowly overcome his fear of the Pain energy, the Keeper needed it now , to survive the trials and dangers that lay ahead. If they couldn't hide it from Ominis, and they couldn't tell him about it, what the fuck were they supposed to do!? This was a matter of life and death, why couldn't Ominis just-

Sebastian couldn't help but remember that day in the Scriptorium, when Ominis had literally refused to take an action that would save their lives. It'd been almost THREE YEARS since then, and Ominis still hadn't made a single step of headway in this area. It almost felt like Ominis didn't see anything wrong with this to begin with.

Sebastian was trying to be understanding, but he just couldn't get how Ominis could be so paralysed by fear, that he would choose death.

Just let us protect you! Sebastian wanted to grab Ominis by the shoulders and scream. We all want the same thing, to protect our shared happiness, why are we fighting like this? Why was Ominis treating him like he didn't care about his lovers? Sebastian wouldn't be trying if he didn't care. Hell, it'd be easier if he didn't care!

After all this time, it hurt that Ominis still didn't trust him.

Sniffing and scrubbing at the moisture in his eyes with his hands, Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shove the feelings aside with his Occlumency meditation.

The Occlumency that Ominis had taught him.

Ugh, fuck it. Sebastian gave in and turned around to cling to the Keeper, pressing his face into their shoulder and taking a deep breath of their comforting scent.

Almost immediately, he felt the stress ease and his body relax. The Keeper was right here, warm and safe, and on the other side, bathed in the moon's cool glow, was Ominis, and even if he was still upset, it was assuring to know that he was here and safe too. Yeah, definitely worth it, a relieved smile formed on Sebastian's face and his tears finally ceased.

He always woke up wrapped around one of his partners anyway, he could just pretend it happened in his sleep.

On the other side of the Keeper, this whole time, Ominis’ eyes were wide open, and he lay there frozen with shock, was Sebastian crying?

He listened carefully, yeah, no doubt about it, but... why? For all his emotional tendencies, Sebastian had only ever cried during or after nightmares and that one time he had a breakdown in the Feldcroft cottage.

Was it what Ominis said? It was hard to believe that Sebastian would care enough about his words to cry, when he didn't care enough about Ominis’ feelings to stop his reckless behaviour.

Ominis had spoken truthfully, but pointing out how selfish and reckless Sebastian and the Keeper were being... perhaps he should have done that more carefully. Did Sebastian not even realise what he was doing?

The continued sniffles ate away at Ominis, he'd done that, he'd made Sebastian cry... and the guilt only worsened when he realised that it didn't just feel awful, it also felt good. To hear the effect he had on Sebastian, to feel the power he had over the proud and stubborn boy's heart, to feel some sort of control.

Bile rose in the back of Ominis’ throat, no no no no- he shook the thought away, recoiling from it in horror. That was the darkness speaking, the evil his parents were steeped in, that they'd implanted in him. He couldn’t let the poison in his veins taint the people he loved. Controlling other people with force and hurting them, that was not acceptable.

No matter how selfish they were being, no matter how much he wanted that to change, no matter how stressed Ominis was, he knew that Sebastian and the Keeper were not evil. Neither of them, no matter how frustrated he was with them, deserved to be hurt, the way Ominis had been by his family.

Nobody deserved that, period. Least of all the two people he loved so dearly that he was beset with such fear to begin with.

What am I doing? Ominis asked himself ruefully. I'm not even succeeding in stopping them, I'm just hurting them. But if I don't try to stop them, I might as well sign their death warrants. But what else could I possibly do? Leave? Threaten to break up?

That would probably hurt everybody involved, himself being the only one he would be sure to devastate, but if it got them to stop, at least it wouldn't be only hurt dealt with no progress made. Ominis bit back his own sob as he felt the bed bounce ever so slightly, listening to the now familiar sound of Sebastian turning on the bed, before his sobs and sniffles turned into snores.

I can't , Ominis wailed in his heart, mourning his own cowardice and selfishness, I can't give this up. The very thought of not having the Keeper or Sebastian as his, was nauseating. It was the catacombs all over again, how could he stand by and let this happen again ?

A good friend, a good lover, would love Sebastian and the Keeper enough to sacrifice his bond with them, if it would save their lives. What a horrible person he was, Ominis lamented, then and now, he was still too selfish to do the right thing, to be a good person. He'd told the Keeper in the tomb that he might be willing to sacrifice his friendship with Sebastian, but he hadn't been.

What right had he, to be enraged at their selfishness, when Ominis himself was so hopelessly self-serving too?

We're all sinners here. It was so difficult to fight the temptation to throw all conscience to the wind. To give in to the urge to just force the Keeper and Sebastian to do what he wanted, whatever that entailed, and Ominis was tired, so tired of resisting his vile instincts.

He wanted to wake the Keeper, beg them to do it again, help him stop thinking, stop feeling, manipulate his mind into silence once more, but a part of him knew that this was too much for them to suppress. Their words had worked when they first started dating, when he had been more concerned about what they were doing with Pain energy, than what it was doing to them.

When he'd still seen them as impossibly invincible, an unbelievable creature that had powers beyond imagination, had power over both him and Sebastian. When he hadn't yet come close to losing them or seen how human and vulnerable they really were. How they too, could be wrong.

Loving them, accepting them, flaws, failures and all, had cost him the ability to uncritically leave everything up to them, to surrender reality into their hands. The irony that the more he loved them, the more terrifying the thought of losing them and the harder to trust them when they tried to soothe that fear with assurances that they couldn't guarantee. Promises they couldn't keep.

He wanted- no, needed them, the Keeper and Sebastian. Wanted to hold them both close, protected, safe.

Compelled by his need and unable to resist, Ominis turned as well and wrapped himself around the Keeper, stretching his hand across their chest to find Sebastian's and entwine their fingers together. His heart aching in his chest when he felt traces of wetness on his boyfriend's fingertips.

I'm sorry, Seb... I just don't know what to do... Ominis thought mournfully to himself as he closed his eyes.

“I've decided to open the Repository. Its power cannot lie dormant for centuries more.”

Thank you, Fig... I wouldn’t have this without you.

“After everything you've seen? What about Isidora's fate?”

Isidora's fate? A fool chasing a hopeless dream, she and I are not the same.

“Isidora wasted her ability trying to save people from themselves. I will not let others dictate what I do with this- my power.”

I have been robbed of so much. A family, a home, my dignity, my agency, Lodgok, the first friend who understood what it was like to be crushed under heel.

I will not surrender anything to anyone else ever again. Please, understand.

“You cannot possibly mean that. You, of all wizardkind, are wholly aware of the misery and pain that that could cause!”

Fig... I'm sorry, but I can't give this up. Can't you feel it? That power, I need it, I need power. I’ve finally found something worth protecting. Worth my life. Worth every life. I can't lose them. I won't let anyone take what is mine ever again.

Not even you.

“I answer to no one. Avada-"

The Keeper gasped, their eyes flying open, heart pounding a mile a minute, feeling somehow restrained, and for a moment, they tensed in fear. Before noticing the faint snores by their ear and they remembered that they were in Dìon, sleeping in their new bedroom with Sebastian and Ominis... who had been fighting.

They cast their gaze over themselves and smiled, and yet, both boys were not only cuddled up to them, but also holding hands loosely across their chest. The soft rays of dawn lay gentle on the two, their faces peaceful and the Keeper was rather relieved to see that their partners, at least, were getting a restful sleep.

They released a slow breath, it'd been a long time since they'd dreamt of Fig, let alone a nightmare of killing him. The Keeper honestly wasn't sure why they'd had such a dream, was it what Ominis had implied the evening before? That Sebastian, and by extension themselves, were monstrous for wanting to continue using that energy. An energy created by human pain.

But would they have? If Fig had survived, if he'd decided that he needed to stop them, would the Keeper have fought him? Killed him?

They'd like to think they wouldn't have, that they would have found another way, but they weren't sure that was true. Perhaps the reason they weren't as offended by Ominis’ framing, unlike Sebastian, was because they felt it was warranted. They were no saint, they'd stolen, killed, sinned, anything to survive, to win.

Demonspawn. Sinful whore. Devil.

God, if he existed, had only hellfire for the Keeper's kind, and they'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Spat their defiance on Matron's precious cross, they hadn't been able to walk for a week after that, but they'd do it again. Forgiveness? How was it their fault that they had to suck dick to stay alive? Grace? Her God could keep his fucking grace, neither she nor He had protected them a whit.

Finding out that they weren't even human, that they were what those pathetic powerless muggles called heathen pagans, one of the witches and wizards they'd burnt at the stake, none of it had been a surprise. Of course they weren't a mere muggle, of course they hadn't fit in. They were never one of them to begin with.

Coming from a place that called all their kind demonic, made Ominis’ desperate wish to be accepted by society rather pointless in the Keeper's eyes. If in a separate group of humans, their very existence was evil, then what meaning did the term ‘evil’ even have? It was arbitrary and meaningless, a popularity contest that they refused to take part in.

They gazed at Ominis’ beautiful countenance, his cheek pressed sweetly against their arm, all curled up like a cat. Still, they couldn't find it in themselves to force him to face this, it was something he would have to come to terms with on his own, they could only protect him till then.

With a tired sigh, the Keeper considered closing their eyes and going back to sleep, when they realised that something was missing.

Frowning, they cursed under their breath, the armlet peeking out from between Ominis’ arms... wasn't glowing. Fuuuuuuck.

Ominis was going to be pissed. The Keeper sighed, well, that explained the dream at least, and the reason they felt a bit warmer than usual. Trying to get a good look at the armlet, they attempted to slip their arm out of Ominis’ grasp, but unfortunately, he didn't seem very happy about that.

“Mnm, warm...” Ominis grumbled, gripping their arm tighter and rubbing his cheek against their shoulder.

The Keeper smiled softly, cute. Well, at least until he frowned and mumbled. “Why are you so warm?”

Aaand so it begins , the Keeper sighed again, not a moment more peace to enjoy. “Well, love, it seems... that, while I was unconscious, I unintentionally took today's dose-”

Ominis shot upright immediately, though he seemed to have forgotten, or not noticed, that his hand was still attached to Sebastian's and the brunet was promptly awoken, as he was yanked halfway across the Keeper by his arm.

“Wha de-” Sebastian mumbled, blinking blankly at thin air with an adorably confused expression as his hand was dropped.

Patting the messy bush of hair on his head, the Keeper gave him a soft smile too and a kiss on the forehead. “Morning, Seb.”

He blinked at them with doe-eyes for several moments, his brain visibly struggling to catch up, before he yawned and dropped his head onto their chest with a barely audible. “...mor...in...”

Ugh, why is he so cute- the Keeper couldn't resist slipping a finger under his chin to lift it and leaned down to capture his chapped lips in a proper kiss, which he returned with a dazed moan.

“Can the two of you be serious for once?” Ominis sighed irritably as he raised his wand. “I can't cast diagnosa if you're in close contact.”

“Gimmieasec-” The Keeper gave him a mumble, pressing their lips to Sebastian's one last time before withdrawing, leaving him looking as confused as he did when he first woke up, and they nudged him upright with a bemused smile. “There, just sit still and look pretty.”

“Pfft... eashy.” Sebastian gave them a dopey grin, before yawning and stretching. “Whaz goin’ on anyway...”

“Ominis is upset that I accidentally took some Pain energy while asleep.” The Keeper answered, lying back down as Ominis cast Diagnosa on them.

“Oh.” Sebastian blinked, freezing in the middle of scratching his head. “Well, that blows.”

“I'm not upset.” Ominis snapped, and both Sebastian and the Keeper stared at him sceptically. “I'm worried.”

“Well, don't be, they kiss just fine.” Sebastian waved a hand at them with a grin. “Feel free to try for yourself.”

“Sebastian.” Ominis bit out through gritted teeth.

Not wanting to test his patience, the Keeper quickly sat up and slipped their fingers around his hand, clenched tightly around his wand. “And I'm sure you found that I'm quite alright, yes?”

“Well-” Ominis paused, pursing his lips together. “That's- that's the problem, I can't tell!”

The Keeper blinked and frowned as he shook their hand off, standing from the bed and pacing across the carpet in a fit of agitation. “Healers don't just magically know what it looks like when something is going wrong! All I see are elevated adrenaline levels, increased blood flow, heart palpitations, heightened activity in parts of your brain-”

He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, voice strained and eyes almost crazed. “And I don't know what any of it means for you!”

The pain and fear in his voice seemed to have blown the sleepy fog from Sebastian's brain and he tumbled from the bed, stumbling towards Ominis, before hesitating as though uncertain if an embrace would be well received. Which was probably reasonable, especially after Ominis rejected the Keeper's comfort.

“I'm sure we'll figure it out.” Sebastian tried, approaching Ominis like he was a wild animal. “That stuff is so powerful, if it were doing something bad, it'd be obvious even to us, and- and to them, who's experiencing it, right?”

“Merlin's balls, Sebastian.” Ominis groaned, so hard that it came out more like a sob. “They've already told us that it feels good to take! We can't trust their experience of it, do you think cancer patients realise they're dying till they're halfway there!? Do alcoholics know they're destroying their liver? And by the time it's obvious, it'll probably be irreversible!”

“Well, I've been taking it for two years already, surely that's long enough to be certain of its effects.” The Keeper reasoned, joining Sebastian in trying to soothe Ominis, who looked worryingly close to a breakdown. While he seemed to be more coherent after a good night's sleep, he was clearly no less distressed than the night before.

“We don't know how it works!” Ominis exclaimed. “Any negative effects could be something that culminates with consumption, compounding and building over prolonged use! Even if you're fine now, this constant energy use could have long-term effects!”

And there he goes again with the what-ifs , the Keeper gave him a helpless smile. “Well, that's not right now, and so that's something I'm willing to risk. To protect and preserve us , and to cure Anne. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“How can you say that!?” Ominis shook his head.

“Because I'll do whatever it takes to protect our happiness.” The Keeper answered honestly.

At their words, Ominis bristled, his fear and stress turning to anger. How did they not understand what they were doing? Saying that they were hurting him for him. How cruel, was he supposed to feel grateful for this fear and pain?

“That's bullshite! My happiness necessitates both of you! You can only say that because you're not the one who'd be left behind!” Ominis burst out, fists tight and hot tears forming in his eyes against his will. Like aunt Noctua, it was so bloody worth it to die down in the Scriptorium, chasing the betterment of our family, at the risk of leaving me all alone in that house.

“The two of you can throw your lives away because you don't have to be the one left here alone!” Selfish, they were both so selfish, Ominis thought bitterly. Sebastian had been fine risking his life to save Anne, if he died, at least he wouldn't have to live through Anne's death, but he would leave me to mourn both of them.

“That's not-” Sebastian's voice cracked, and he took a shaky breath. “That's not the reason! We do what we have to because we don't want to leave you alone! How can you think that we- that I'd care so little about them, about you!?”

Ah, I'm doing it again. The sound of Sebastian crying, a few hours ago, echoed in Ominis’ mind. I'm hurting him again. Why is this coming out so wrong every time?

“...I'm sorry...” Ominis whispered. “I just don't know if I can keep doing this.”

“This?” The Keeper echoed warily.

“This! Us! All of it! I'm so scared that something will go wrong! Maybe we should just-” Ominis covered his mouth with a sob, his throat closing up around his words.

“A- are you saying you want- want to break-” Sebastian asked faintly, sounding like he couldn’t comprehend how this was even on the table.

“I don't know!” Ominis shouted, brushing tears from his eyes. “I can't help, but I can't not help. I don't want to know what you're doing, but I want to know so I can stop you, but I can't even do that! If I do nothing, I'm complicit in your demise, if I do something, I'm responsible if I fail. There's no winning anywhere in this!”

“I'm powerless.” Ominis murmured, a hysterical laugh bubbling up from within his chest. “Powerless then, powerless now. Nothing I do changes anything, I just want that feeling to stop. It would be better if I'd never been bor-”

His words were knocked right out of his mind, and his ears rang with the sharp bite of a slap. The impact reverberated through his skull, so all-encompassing and shocking that he barely felt the sting spreading across his cheek.

Then there were hands gripping his shoulders tightly and the Keeper's voice, more broken than he'd ever heard before, hissed in his ear in a harsh whisper. “Never go there. Nobody takes something that belongs to me, not even you. Without you, I'd easily make Gnarlak and Ranrok look like saints.”

The Keeper's words were heavy with dark promise and Ominis’ breathing was shallow, mind still rattled and uncomprehending as they cupped his burning cheek, the gentleness of their touch contrasting the force with which they'd slapped him.

“And you're wrong.” The Keeper continued, and he felt a strange sense of relief, of surrender at their words, he wanted to be wrong, yes, please- “You are not powerless in this relationship, you just can't see the power you have over us, because you can't compare it to how we would be without you here.”

There was a smile in their voice as the Keeper pressed their forehead against his. “I've told you before, we need someone sane in this relationship. Do you really think I could have overcome my addiction without your control and guidance? You know how greedy I am when there's something I want.”

A pair of warm arms embraced him from behind, wrapping firmly around Ominis’ waist, shaky breaths in his ear and wetness on his nape, Sebastian's chest firm against his back. “And I wouldn’t have been able to stay sane when Anne got cursed, if you weren't reminding me to eat and forcing me to sleep. If you weren't curled up next to me while I read forbidden tomes in the Undercroft. I'd have lost my mind.”

Their words sank slowly into his mind, as his breathing calmed, and Ominis couldn't help but release a soft huff. “I thought you were doing homework.”

“Well, sometimes.” Sebastian gave him a trembling laugh and without thinking, Ominis followed it with his own.

“If I cared more about my own feelings, I wouldn’t have stayed with you while the Keeper was off with Poppy last year.” Sebastian murmured after a moment's thought. “I'm not good at it, but I do try to think about how my actions affect you.”

“Even though I hurt you?” Ominis whispered, reaching up to touch Sebastian's cheek where it rested on his shoulder, damp with drying tears. “Even though I can't slow either of you down without hurting you every time. Even though I can't just be a good boyfriend and remind you to be careful and wait patiently for you to come home?”

“How dare you call our boyfriend anything less than perfect.” The Keeper prodded him in the chest. “And I don't know what you've been smoking, but what you're describing isn't easy. Not by a long shot. I wouldn’t be able to sit by and do nothing.”

“Sebastian did, he was worried too but he didn't try to stop you from taking more jobs, or try to... hurt you into stopping.” Ominis protested weakly.

“Excuse me.” Sebastian huffed. “Did you miss the second half of that? I didn't stop them, but I went with them, because doing nothing but waiting is agony. That's why I went with them to the pub, that's why I'm going with them on their next job. It's why I made the dagger for them and why I tried so hard to find a cure for Anne.”

“Doing nothing is torture for me.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to Ominis’ neck. “I'm sorry I didn't realise it was becoming torture for you too.”

“It... it didn't use to be.” Ominis admitted, a bitter chuckle emerging as he traced the shape of Sebastian's hands on his waist. “I used to feel better if I gave someone else responsibility. It doesn't work anymore. I don't know why, but I haven't been able to do that for a while, I can't escape this fear. I don't know how to handle it.”

“I'm sorry that we've made you feel alone in worrying, but you don't have to carry that alone.” The Keeper murmured, a sweet kiss of their lips against his. “We can help you find a way to manage it, together.”

Ominis felt his breath catch, tears welling in his eyes. “I- I don't, after every time I hurt you both in my fear, how can you forgive me? I don't deserv-”

“If you think anyone else could be in your position, could do any better in your position, you couldn't be more mistaken.” Sebastian interrupted. “It's enough that you know you've hurt us and don't want to, are trying not to, because we can help with that.”

“Sebastian...” Ominis turned in his arms, tracing his fingers across Sebastian's brow and cheeks to see his expression, chest tightening at the unmistakably gentle crinkle around his eyes.

“We shouldn't dwell on things we can't change, instead we can look to the future and consider ways to prevent bad things from happening again.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to his palm, and Ominis’ eyes widened at his words, the same words he'd spoken to Sebastian himself a little over a year ago, after his breakdown in Feldcroft.

“I've hurt you so many times over the years too, and you've always forgiven me and stayed by my side... and I loved you for that.” Sebastian's voice was a quiet whisper now. “Loved you since third-year.”

A small smile lifted Ominis’ lips. “And I've loved you since the end of our first-year.”

“That long?” Sebastian sounded surprised and Ominis nodded shyly.

“Well, I can't beat either of those.” The Keeper sighed, dropping their chin onto Ominis’ shoulder, now that it was free. “Between the two of you, I'm starting to feel left out.”

The familiar words got a laugh out of Sebastian, and Ominis could hear the wry smile in his voice. “A lot has changed since the first time I said that, hasn't it?”

“Really?” Ominis huffed dryly. “I feel like I'm still getting led around by you two.”

“I disagree.” The Keeper chuckled. “Have you forgotten how you kept me from killing the woman living just outside our territory?”

Ominis blinked, that's right, he'd felt it then, the hope that he had the ability to change the minds of Sebastian and the Keeper. To change their course of direction, that's why he'd tried to do it again, but it hadn't worked.

“Didn't manage to change your minds this time.” Ominis murmured bitterly, moving reluctantly when the Keeper tugged him towards the bed to sit down on its edge.

“Ominis, that's the problem, back then, we agreed on the goal and then discussed ways of getting there that satisfied all of us.” They pointed out. “This time, you jumped straight to changing our minds.”

“What else could I change, besides your minds?” Ominis asked, feeling a tad defensive at the implication that there was any option besides that. If he could think of one, he'd have suggested it by now.

“Well, we can discuss the facts of the situation and try to find something that we can change. You don't have to think of a solution alone.” Sebastian pointed out as he took a seat beside Ominis, while the Keeper remained standing.

“I want to keep taking the energy, but we have possible unknown negative effects to account for that would make it dangerous.” The Keeper hummed. “I feel like all we need to do is make the unknowns known.”

“But it's a fact that I can't know what a warning sign looks like, the point where I can tell that something is wrong would already be too late.” Ominis sighed, before pausing. Wait, too late? Would not then all he need do, be to see the effects accelerated, to see what ‘too late’ looked like?

But... that meant involving himself in the Keeper's human experiments. Worse still, finding his answers would require that they actively try to turn a subject into a monster or kill them by Pain energy overdose. Could he really do such an inhumane thing? Then again...

His mind returned to the scans he'd done on Macnair last evening. The boy's body was wasting away, frail and weak, his amygdala had completely ceased to function, and his endocrine system seemed to be damaged so severely that Ominis felt that he had no hope of recovery. Did Macnair even deserve it? He couldn’t imagine being in that condition, what suffering was the boy experiencing?

At the same time, Pain energy felt good to take, with his will empty, it would be safe to give him that energy without him trying to break out using its power, rather than injecting it painfully with the collar. Would that not be a mercy instead? To let the mindless boy experience one last taste of pleasure, ending his suffering with bliss.

“Macnair is not doing so well, what do you two plan to do with him?” Ominis asked tentatively.

Having been watching him deeply immersed in thought, the Keeper quickly caught on, quite surprised that Ominis would consider experimentation to overcome this obstacle. No, he wouldn't be able to do that, not consciously at least, they knew his mind well enough to know that. What was his angle?

Bringing up Macnair’s health... perhaps he was trying to frame his participation as charity, after all, the subjects were scum that were already in perpetual suffering, maybe he wanted to contextualise being a grim reaper as mercy. They did wonder how he would justify the pain of collar injection, but they could always help him out there.

Well, those were quite some mental gymnastics he was hoping to do, but hey, any effort from him to cooperate was welcome.

“He doesn't provide any energy thanks to his ripped aura, so I was considering attempting to stitch it up. Which would require pumping him with energy, like finding a leak in a cup by filling it.” The Keeper answered. “I don't have much other use for him, but I would keep him alive, just in case I have need of him.”

The Keeper smiled as they laid forth the bait for Ominis to take, and was satisfied when he frowned, saying. “I think it's quite cruel to keep him in a suspended state of suffering...”

The Keeper silently raised a finger to quieten Sebastian when his expression became indignant, mouthing a simple ‘wait’.

“...it would be kinder to end his suffering. I know you want to have more than one subject at a time, but you'll be acquiring a new one, yes?” Ominis asked, as though he were bargaining with the cruel cruel Keeper to entertain his benevolent petition on poor little Macnair’s behalf.

The Keeper gave him a fond smile, he was so cute, still clinging to those paper-thin illusions that only they could provide. “Yes, and I suppose since I'll be getting another shortly, Macnair’s death won't be too much of a loss, but I'd rather make use of him, even on his way out.”

They would give him what he needed.

Ominis smiled. “I was thinking that I could monitor his condition as you feed him energy, preferably C-Pain in the same manner you consume it. That way, I can compare its effects on a regular wizard to its effects on you as an Ancient Mage.”

As Ominis explained his suggestion, understanding began to dawn on Sebastian's face and his expression became slightly conflicted.

“Same manner, hm.” The Keeper frowned. “That runs the risk of making him too powerful for even myself to defeat. I would also need to find out what distinguishes a painful injection of Pain energy from regular consumption.”

“It has to be the same manner you do it. Otherwise, we can't be certain that our findings would apply to you.” Ominis insisted. “Without mind and willpower, surely he wouldn't be as much of a threat as Ranrok was, and you defeated him without the aid of Pain energy.”

He had a point, the Keeper folded their arms thoughtfully, though it was amusing to hear Ominis defending their strength when it was convenient for him, and Sebastian was staring incredulously at him for likely the same reason. Still, to what ends was he pushing so hard for this?

...it would be kinder.

He'd said ‘kinder’, not more merciful, perhaps that was it? Did Ominis think it would absolve him of being Macnair’s executioner if the boy got to die in power rather than in pain? That dying in pain was ‘cruel’? Well, the Keeper didn't see any particular difference, after everything they'd done to him, murder was murder regardless, but if it made Ominis feel better, boy did they not fucking care.

“Fair enough, I'll see if I can figure out what the difference between collar injection and consumption are, and if I can feed him C-Pain energy.” The Keeper nodded and both boys sagged in relief.

“Thank Merlin, we finally have a plan.” Sebastian groaned, flopping backwards on the bed. “I'm bloody exhausted.”

“I- well-” Ominis cleared his throat and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear sheepishly. “I suppose, I'm sorry... for- well, making this more difficult than it maybe had to be.”

“Nah.” Sebastian shook his head, reaching out to take Ominis by the arm and tug him down, while the Keeper reclined on the bed beside them.

Catching himself on his arms, Ominis blinked in surprise, hovering over Sebastian as the brunet grinned and lifted his head just enough to give Ominis a peck on the lips.

“It's good that you got it all out. I mean, I could do without getting hurt.” Sebastian chuckled when Ominis gave him an annoyed look. “But it happened how it needed to happen, we can always do better next time. I could've handled it better too. I just- you drive me crazy.”

“Do I?” Ominis murmured with a small smile, folding his arms on Sebastian's chest and resting his head on them with a peaceful expression.

“Obviously.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and propped his head up on an arm, brushing his fingers through Ominis’ messy blond strands.

There was a soft, and undeniably loving crinkle around the corners of Sebastian's eyes, as he gazed at Ominis, idly caressing his cheek for several minutes, fingers brushing across the little uneven patches of peach fuzz that were growing.

As he did, Ominis basked in the gentle soothing touches, until they stopped, and Sebastian released something between a huff and a sigh. Tipping his head curiously to the side, Ominis asked. “Sebastian?”

“Nnnngg, how long are you just going to stare at us like that!?” Sebastian suddenly burst out, his cheeks quite red, and the Keeper gave him a low chuckle.

“I'm just enjoying the view, don't mind me.” The Keeper assured with a broad and amused grin, continuing to observe the sweet scene as they lay casually on their side, head propped up on an elbow.

“Right. Ominis is the one who's blind, not me. Merlin knows what's going on in there.” Sebastian eyed them suspiciously, and at their silent, unflinching grin, gave an aggravated huff. “Fine, might as well give you something to look at then.”

Sebastian propped himself up on his elbows and pressed his lips against Ominis’, who chuckled softly as Sebastian rolled them over, so he could pin Ominis to the sheets.

“Sebas-” Ominis’ exasperated sigh was quickly smothered by Sebastian, the brunet straddling his thighs, eagerly slipping his tongue between Ominis’ lips to swallow his words.

Coaxing a quiet groan from Ominis as he ran his fingers down the blond's neck, and the Keeper would readily admit that this was indeed a much better show, and one they would most certainly never tire of watching. The brief flashes of heated muscle entwined within the spaces between their lips, the way Sebastian shuddered when Ominis’ hands travelled down to his hips, gripping firmly as he ground their waists together.

Exquisite.

Cheeks aflame, Sebastian's mouth left Ominis’ to gasp as the blond's hardening length rubbed against his, releasing a low moan at the sensation and pressing his lips to Ominis’ throat as he rocked back eagerly. Only for Ominis to make a soft sound of discomfort and crane his face away.

“Merlin's bea- your beard, Sebastian, is getting too much for this!” Ominis complained, shoving Sebastian's head a distance away with a hand. “Are you trying to sandpaper my jawline into shape?”

“Please don't, I think it's perfectly shaped as it is.” The Keeper snickered.

“Oh, come on, Ominis, it's just a bit of fuzz.” Sebastian grumbled, his words muffled around the palm pressed against his cheek.

“You call this a bit of fuzz!?” Ominis exclaimed, running his nails along the bristles on Sebastian's jaw and producing an amusingly loud scratchy sound. “I've no doubt you look like a vagabond right now.”

“The kind of handsome, roguish vagabond that will steal your heart and make off with your virginity?” Sebastian grinned and the Keeper burst into laughter at the unamused glare Ominis levelled at him.

“The kind of vagabond that is homeless and in dire need of a razor.” Ominis retorted.

“Well, I've been busy the last two mornings, and I wasn't exactly in the mood to shave last night, now was I.” Sebastian grumbled, and Ominis’ eyes immediately darkened.

The Keeper quickly interjected, before the atmosphere could sour. “Why don't you go brush and shave then? That way, you'll be able to give Ominis a blowjob if he sees fit to grant you the honour.”

Sebastian immediately brightened and he grabbed Ominis by the shoulders. “Alright, I'll clean up and then I'm finally gonna get to see what they're always raving about.”

“Wha- wait- I didn't agre-” Ominis stammered, his face completely red as Sebastian nearly flew off the bed and into the adjoining bathroom, before turning towards the Keeper with an incredulous expression. “You rave about my- my-”

The Keeper gave him an unrepentant grin. “You do have a lovely pecker, darling. Rather outstanding really, few are quite as fortunate in that regard.”

“Salazar save me.” Ominis muttered, covering his face and climbing out of the bed to follow after Sebastian. “Sebastian, I never agreed to anything!”

“Wai ‘ot?” Sebastian mumbled around his toothbrush.

“It would give him some incentive to take care of himself. Pups need something to strive for when in training.” The Keeper chuckled as they slipped around Ominis and into the bathroom to get their own toothbrush.

“Exac'ly!” Sebastian spat in the sink before pausing. “Hang on train-”

“My dick is not a carrot!” Ominis exclaimed.

“Of course not, it's closer to a lollipop.” The Keeper grinned, very much amused by this line of discussion.

Idly collecting their toothbrush, they began cleaning their teeth at the porcelain sink that stood on the left of the entrance to the large alcove bathtub, while on the right of it, stood Sebastian at the second sink, slathering his face with cream.

Ominis groaned and ran a hand over his face.

“Look, it's annoying!” Sebastian exclaimed as he quickly slid the razor over his jaw. “I have to waste ten minutes every morning or I'll start looking like my uncle. Surely, I deserve a reward when I actually do it.”

“Well, you're not the only one that has to shave. See there, I need a shave too.” Ominis gestured at the patches of fuzz on his chin and upper lip.

“Those tiny things?” Rolling his eyes, Sebastian strode over and took Ominis’ chin, rubbing some of the leftover cream into his skin with a thumb. “Alright, hold still.”

Ominis obediently stilled, and allowed Sebastian to deftly whisk off the few bristles that were present, the brunet complaining the whole way. “Come on, these are so fine and easy to shave... and you can go a whole week without shaving before they show up! See? Done.”

Sebastian wiped the remaining cream off with a towel and beamed proudly at his handiwork, before returning to the mirror and his own shaving. “Why are you so reluctant anyway? Don't you always complain about me talking too much?”

Ominis’ cheeks flushed, the sheer thought of Sebastian's mouth around him making it difficult to think through the swarm of feelings that that idea conjured. “It's just- it's hard to imagine I suppose.”

Finishing up with their morning routine, the Keeper stepped aside for Ominis to use that sink. “Don't you feel bad for Sebastian? He even helps you shave, such a good boy deserves a reward.”

Ominis sighed as he washed his face, and the Keeper handed him his toothbrush. “Fine, I suppose if you nutters want it so much.”

“Yes!” Sebastian hissed with excitement as he washed the cream and hair from his face.

Several minutes later, a rather adorably embarrassed Ominis was seated on the edge of the bed, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. While Sebastian knelt on a pillow, that the Keeper had passed him, between Ominis’ knees, lowering his sleeping pants to reveal his partially erect member.

Despite his earlier bravado, Sebastian seemed equally embarrassed as he ran his fingers lightly along the fine blond hairs that Ominis’ length was nestled in. Eyeing it with an almost resolute gaze for several moments, Sebastian leaned forward and gave his tip a firm lick, making Ominis jolt with surprise and release a soft moan, covering his face shyly a moment later.

The Keeper sighed, what was with this blushing maiden atmosphere? Somehow even after everything they'd done together, the two boys could still get all flustered like virgins. Was it because the Keeper wasn't involving themselves and just watching? Or because they weren't leading?

Now that they thought about it, every time the three of them had been together, it had been mostly propelled by the Keeper. Perhaps their partners had simply been emboldened by their unabashed attitude towards sex. With that in mind, it might be better for them to let the two boys explore at their own pace for once.

As the Keeper pondered this, Sebastian licked his lips nervously, quite encouraged by how quickly Ominis had hardened fully, before placing them tentatively against Ominis’ crown, and allowed it to slip past his lips.

At the warmth and sensation, Ominis released another shaky moan, Salazar save him, he really wasn't going to last very long. Just the idea that Sebastian, his proud Sebastian, was on his knees and taking his cock, was enough to make his head swim. His hands twitched, gripping tightly at the blanket he was sitting on, as he felt himself touch the back of Sebastian's throat.

He still remembered how good it'd felt, to thrust into the Keeper's throat, it had been almost scary, how quickly he'd lost control, but their confidence and skill had made it easy to get swept up in the heat, to forget his inhibitions. Sebastian wasn't nearly as confident or experienced as them and Ominis wasn't sure how far he could go. He didn't want to hurt Sebastian.

With a pinch of frustration, Sebastian lifted his head to take a breath, before trying again, pushing Ominis deeper into his mouth, but was once again unable to swallow enough to reach the base. He pressed on anyway, but quickly found himself gagging on it and had to lift his head again to cough. Goddammit, why was this so much more difficult than when he'd serviced the Keeper with his mouth?

“A- are you alright? Don't overdo it, Sebastian.” Ominis asked, trying desperately to hide how good it had felt when Sebastian's hot and wet throat closed around him uncontrollably, how much he wanted to shove the brunet's head back down to feel it again.

He'd never had the Keeper choke on him before, how could something so bad feel so good? The way Sebastian’s throat had rippled around him, pulsing and tightening, and Merlin- the sound. The sound of Sebastian choking, he could hear the wetness of his saliva clinging to his throat, feel it rolling down his cock to touch the sensitive skin of his balls.

“It's-” Sebastian cleared his throat, tears beading in his eyes. “It's fine, I'm alright.”

Without another word, he took Ominis into his mouth again, trying once more to take him further into his throat. The Keeper had done it, surely he could too. So, he struggled to hold his instinct to gag and pressed his head down harder, when Ominis’ hips bucked, and he promptly choked again.

“Sorry! I'm sorry!” Ominis immediately exclaimed, lifting Sebastian's head himself, and baulking at the tears he could feel against his thumbs.

However, as Ominis’ hands moved automatically to clean the fluids from Sebastian's face, he couldn’t stop himself from shuddering at the expression the brunet was wearing. Sebastian looked absolutely wrecked, eyebrows slanted upwards, his mouth hanging open, lips stretched wide from his cock. As guilty as he felt, Ominis knew he'd never forget the image his hands had shown him.

“‘S fine.” Sebastian mumbled, coughing and swallowing, a little dazed by how hot that had felt, his prim and pompous Ominis ramming his cock into his mouth like that.

Sebastian was starting to see why the Keeper liked blowing Ominis. Though, the choking he could probably do without, at least for now, while he still didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

With that, he turned slightly to ask the Keeper, who had been suspiciously silent the entire time. “How do you do it?”

“Do what, love?” The Keeper asked absently in return, a tad occupied committing everything they'd just witnessed to memory, especially Sebastian's fucked out expression. So, Ominis actually liked choking, good to know.

“Well, take Ominis... all the way.” Sebastian replied with an adorable squirm of the hips, likely rubbing himself against the tent in his sleeping pants.

The Keeper chuckled fondly, ever the overachiever of course. They paused to think, well, they did have the bed, it'd certainly be far more comfortable to start with, and it wasn't like Sebastian had to worry about how vulnerable the position was, unlike they had, and it'd give Ominis more control.

“You want to straighten out your throat. Here.” The Keeper stood and helped Sebastian to his feet. “It'll be easier if you lie down on your back, with your head hanging off the edge.”

Sebastian obediently followed their instructions as the Keeper also took Ominis’ hand and guided him to stand, wrapping their arms around his waist and pressing against his back as they whispered into his ear. “And you can stand here and fuck his throat.”

“Isn't this a little dangerous? He can't move away.” Ominis asked worriedly, though his expression and the way his length twitched made it obvious how much he liked the idea.

“It's alright, I can just tap your leg if I need to breathe.” Sebastian patted Ominis’ thigh, his half-lidded eyes heated as he regarded Ominis’ erection, hanging just inches from his lips, and his tongue darted out to lap at it.

Ominis gasped at the sensation and offered no further protest as the Keeper held his length in position and used their own hips to nudge Ominis’ forward, watching in delight as his hardness slid smoothly into Sebastian's throat.

“Oh-” Ominis moaned as he buried himself in, all the way to the base. The Keeper took his twitching hands, and placed them on the bulge in Sebastian's throat, before letting go as he began, of his own accord, to trace the shape of his own erection stretching Sebastian's skin.

“Doing alright down there?” The Keeper asked, and Sebastian flashed them a thumbs up, making an affirmative sound around the obstruction in his throat and getting another moan from Ominis as a result.

Chuckling, the Keeper murmured into Ominis’ ear, lapping teasingly at the shell. “There, you can let go, love. Stop thinking and do what feels good.”

With a keening sound in his throat, Ominis tentatively moved his hips, drawing back slightly, before pushing in again, shuddering as his sensitive tip rubbed against the back of Sebastian's tongue. The hollow squelch of his cock sealing the inside of Sebastian’s throat, creating a vacuum, a space where only he could pass through, the thought of pouring his seed inside Sebastian making his mind melt.

Ominis couldn’t help but rock harder into him, panting from the heat that was building in his body, the Keeper's warm chest against his back, their hands slipping under his shirt to rub and tug at his sensitive nipples. It feels so good-

He felt a few taps against his thigh, as Sebastian's throat closed around him again, and for a moment, it failed to register in Ominis’ mind, but as the Keeper tugged his hips backwards with a firm grip, he recalled its meaning. The air felt cold on his dick, after being inside Sebastian's warmth, but he was grateful that the Keeper had helped him stop.

“T- thank-” Ominis muttered as he turned his head to the side, and the Keeper captured his lips with their own, while Sebastian coughed and gasped for breath.

Releasing Ominis’ lips, the Keeper murmured gently. “Try to keep a consistent rhythm and pull out every four thrusts to let him breathe.”

Swallowing thickly, Ominis nodded, while Sebastian gave a weak laugh, and asked. “You were counting?”

“I was.” The Keeper chuckled, taking Ominis’ length and guiding him back into Sebastian's mouth, purring into Ominis ear. “Aren't you two lucky to have me.”

Moaning softly, Ominis nodded automatically, as they gripped his hips and guided him in at a languid pace, his fingers wrapping around their wrist and spasming as he fucked Sebastian's throat at their coaxing. It was a struggle to keep counting through the haze of pleasure and it helped to have their guidance, especially when it became more difficult to stop every time Sebastian choked.

Though, he was actually rather glad for the need to keep track of his thrusts, it was probably the only reason that he hadn't come yet. The feeling of Sebastian's hot and tight throat around him was amazing, the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything but lie there and take his cock, insane.

This was the same Sebastian who never stepped back from a fight, letting Ominis use his body for his pleasure, groaning around his cock, the taut skin of his throat stretching under his palm with every thrust.

“He's touching himself.” The Keeper's voice murmured into his ear and Ominis released a confused sound, having a hard time processing their words with his lust clouded mind, and they chuckled. “Sebastian, he's touching himself as you fuck his throat, he's so hard just from this.”

The moment he understood, Ominis released a loud moan, reaching his peak immediately, and his erection throbbed in Sebastian's mouth as his seed spurted down his throat. Unable to stop himself from burying his length as deep as he could go and holding himself there for a shuddering moment. Feeling ecstasy flood his body as Sebastian choked on his cum, before remembering that he was stopping Sebastian from breathing and quickly pulled out.

“Sor- sorry, I should- should have warned you-” Ominis gasped, leaning against the Keeper as his knees went weak.

“No, no. I take full responsibility for that.” The Keeper chuckled from behind him, flicking their wand and casting a quick Anapneo charm to clear Sebastian's throat quickly.

After panting for a few seconds, Sebastian gave them a small pout from where his head still hung upside down, his voice rough and thick. “Aw, I wanted to swallow that.”

Ominis released a sound that was somewhere between a squeak of surprise and a moan, while the Keeper laughed and reached down to pat Sebastian on the cheek. “There's always next time.”

He nuzzled at their hand with a hum. “How do you just keep going without needing to stop to breathe?”

“It's possible to breathe while giving a blowjob, it takes some... practice to get the right timing. But not everyone can, so don't feel bad if you don't manage it.” Straightening and placing a kiss on Ominis’ flushed cheek, the Keeper flashed Sebastian a wide smirk. “Now, my turn.”

Seeing it from his spot on the bed, Sebastian swallowed, and his erection twitched in his grip.

“How long will he have us play the villain so he can be the saint?”

“However long he needs it.”

“Does it not hurt?”

“A tad, but I take comfort in knowing that it's an illusion and that he needs it. Are you willing to deny him an illusion so vital to his mental wellness? We all know what it is, even him, somewhere deep down. And now that you understand that he believes it for his own sanity, not because he really sees us as despicable, does it not hurt less?”

“I suppose so...”

“Chin up, my love. I'm sure it won't be forever, he just needs time, and this will keep him with us and happy till that day comes.”

“...you're right, it just- it does still hurt, and it'll take time to get used to remembering that it's an illusion for him. That he doesn't actually think we're cruel. But you're right, it's worth it. He's worth it.”

“Good, I'm glad you agree. Now go get the bottle to feed Shai.”

“Ugh, Ominis is worth getting hurt for, but I'm not sure this one is...”

Notes:

Ominis: I'm a bad person? *cries* The Keeper: I'm a bad person? You're right bitch. Sebastian: I'm not bad, you're bad, fuck you.

I hope no one gets offended by the Christian abuse stuff, I mean, it's historically accurate and I think the Keeper's response is a rather common response to aggressive religious abuse. Particularly considering the circumstances.

In a way, the Keeper's mentality is a progressive/globalised perspective, in one country's culture, A might be “good” but in another culture it's “bad”, once we realise and understand that neither are right nor wrong, just different ways of living and doing things, we actually become more accepting and kinder towards ourselves and each other. Plus, if you call someone bad even when they try their best, why would they keep trying?

FYI, the amygdala is the part of the brain that processes emotion and the endocrine system is responsible for releasing hormones like dopamine, that manage our emotions as well.

Here's a thing about decision making. Our human brains are super defensive and (like with anxiety) tend to overcompensate to keep us from making mistakes, and often, its arguments are not even rooted in reality to begin with.

Studies have shown that when trying to decide if we should take an action or not, our brains simulate the worst case possible and we get hit with the pain of that worst case scenario immediately. Like, on the spot. Whereas when simulating the potential good result, we don't experience the joy/satisfaction/achievement from it.

And on top of that, the pain of failure is multiplied by 2 (or more) during simulation while positive results are halved in emotional value. This means that we're not making our decisions objectively, they're vibes based rather than looking at the reality of the situation.

To make things worse, when stressed or fatigued, our amygdala gets even more sensitive and we can become even more ridiculously pessimistic and afraid to take any action.

That's why when someone is going off on a panic attack, you need to calm them down first before trying to reason with them. (Preferably not with a slap.) People need to feel good in order to think rationally, which sucks when the decision that needs to be made is the thing causing stress xP

In this chapter, Ominis basically chooses whether he wants to be like his parents or not. Victims of abuse, especially children, tend to either become like their abusers or swing the opposite way.

His parents were very black/white simplistic in their logic, “if you don't obey us and be a muggle torturing evil person, it means you don't love/respect us”. So by default he's like that too, “if I ask you to stop because you're upsetting me and you don't, it means you don't care about me”. Rather than considering that there might be other options if discussed or that people could have reasons they can't stop that don't mean you matter less, but that those other reasons matter more.

He understands, deep down, that his parents hadn't manage to force him to become like them, all they ended up doing was hurt him. The problem is that Ominis genuinely doesn't know what to do if someone doesn't do what he wants, all his examples were either his parents’ “hurt them till they do it”, or Solomon and Anne's “cut ties”. He doesn't have good examples of the correct option “compromise and discussion”. So this chapter, was him understanding that there was always a third option there.

I wonder if anyone caught that the Keeper's last line in the dream “I answer to no one.” Mirrors Ranrok's line “Goblinkind shall answer to no one.” The classic fear of becoming the monster you beat xD

So, if a dick is too big, breathing through the nose in the brief flash of pull-out-for-next-thrust, won't be possible, but if anatomy allows for it, the dick wielder needs to is keep a stable rhythm and the blower can breathe in-between. Or just pause to let the blower breathe, yo. This work will not be responsible for death by dick.

Also, wow that blowjob scene was hard to keep gender neutral for the Keeper, but I'm pretty proud of it xD

Making it ambiguous if Sebastian found the Keeper easier to blow because they aren't as long/thick as Ominis or because licking pussy is easier than not choking on dick. Leaving it up to readers if the Keeper's “my turn” refers to them taking a go at Sebastian's throat themselves or if they're afab and take Sebastian's place to let Sebastian have a go at their throat or even sit on his face.

Whatever answer you chose, it's the right answer. That's what progressive means xD Just kidding, sort of xP

P.S. Isn't Sebastian shaving Ominis so cute?

Also the outward appearance versus internal sexual dynamic here is so funny; Ominis: looks like an angel - has the filthiest mind Sebastian: cheeky bastard - wears a romantic rosy filter over his eyes Keeper: stoic - non-stop maniacal "mine mine mine" chant

Many thanks once again, to my Patreon, cheeky_idler, for naming Shai as a Paid member with voting & suggestion power! ;)

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #gender neutral mc #mc x sebastian sallow #mc x ominis gaunt #sebastian x ominis #sebastian x ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #fanfic #jazlr welcome to your life #jazlr #lgbtqia #nonbinary #hogwarts legacy smut #smut

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polarisjisung · 3 months ago

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hello…… 😋

i’ve decided to somewhat reveal myself to you bc i fear (for you) that i will be writing a load more reactions (essays) about lotc ao i just wanted to let u know that it’s me 😋

i’m the anon who literally just wrote you that massive essay screaming crying throwing up about y/n being a BITCH and needing to stand tf up🗣️‼️, abt how the ningstinct✨ is the only thing i trust in this series, and who does NAWT 🙅‍♀️ trust jaemin whatsover atp. longstory short the one who signed that essay off as 😋🫶

and to add i was also the anon who sent in the ask on sep 7th actually like screaming asking will either jaemin or jeongseong open the door first whilst also asking if coach brought anyone back to his apartment 😭 (i am a fiend for the coach gossip like i was almost jumping for joy when i read that there will be some more coach goss coming soon 😍🙏)

and finally i was also the mysterious anon on sep 11th who was veryyy suspicious of whatever jaemin was (or still is 👀👀👀) scheming, who’s been TRUSTING 🤩 the 🤩ningstinct🤩 since day 1‼️ and abt ripping my hair out because i genuinely love this series sm and to keep it real w u i still actually am ripping my hair out one by one because the WAY you write has me like G R I P P E D like when i see that you’ve uploaded a new chapter you can trust that i am SAT ok like i am sat reading it and ripping my hair out because you are SUCH an amazing writer like i genuinely cannot put it into words how INCREDIBLE of a writer you are like ugh so so so good honestly if could give you an award i would but for now all i can offer is this 🥇🎖️🏅 but no seriously i am genuinely in love with lotc you’re doing a delectable job with it 🫶

ok i did not intend for this message to also become an essay but you’re writing is so good i just need you to feel the PASSION in these words like i need you to know that 😩 YOURE WRITING IS SO GOOD ‼️🗣️ ok but anyways in future messages i will just sign off as some variation of 😋🫶🗣️‼️🫦 these emojis because idk i cant help myself from using them i dont care if they’re cringe i’m a free woman and i will use my freedom of emojis as i will ok so bye 😋🫦🫶

ANON MY LOVE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE ESSAY ASKS ‼️‼️🙏

the way I just scrolled back through to read every one of your asks and now I'm like huh I should've realised they sounded similar KEJWKSK

oooh I see is jaemin still scheming good question good question... answers are otw soon! also yes forever trust the ningstinct 🤞🤞🤞sign knows what up ‼️‼️

PLEASE LETS NOT BALD PREMATURELY MY LOVE LETS KEWP THE HAIR IN 🙏🙏 DO NOT LOSE THE LUSCIOUS LOCKS ❌️❌️❌️

ALSO THE MEDALS???? ANON DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES DO YOU KNOW THAT MY HEART IS WEAK I WILL GIVE YOU A KISS RN YOU ARE SO SO SO CUTE THE SWEETEST EVER I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH IM CRGINGDJ, looking forward to seeing you in my inbox my love 🫶

also the variation of inebitable use emojis is so funny but so relatable like fr 😭 anon your asks make me giggle 😭😭

#huasks #hugs from hua 🫶🏼🌸#huanons 🌸!#😋🫶🗣‼️🫦 variation anon!#love on the court 🏀#feedback 🌸!

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ambroziadelphine · 9 months ago

Text

Madara in the real world: Chapter 2

Prologue Chapter 1

I had just finished my shoot and I was tired as fuck. I had two new bad dragon toys to review, one of them is now my new favorites, but they took about 2 hours to film the whole thing so now, I just needed to edit it and post it within the next few days. I'm glad my upload schedule wasn't messed up, its a pain to have to make up for a missing day. I cleaned up the room after a bit of just calming down, putting on a fresh pair of red shorts and a black sports bra before walking out of the room and into the hallway. I locked the door behind me and walked to my room, seeing Madara sat on one side of my bed, his nose in the Naruto Shippuden books making me smirk.

"I'm surprised you haven't gone to your room yet." I said, stretching as I threw on an oversized shirt.

"I have. Are those clothes meant to be mine?" He asked making me pause.

"They were originally my dads. We can go shopping for your own clothes soon if you'd like." I suggested, sitting on the edge of my bed as I looked at him.

"It would be wise, seeing as we do not know how to get me back." He said, his eyes trained on the book in front of him. I nodded and looked around in thought before I stood up. "Tell me what you do." He said making me blink in surprise.

"Pardon?" I asked, seeing him set the book down in his lap before he looked at me, though he seemed to falter for a split second at the sight of me.

"I'd rather know what you do then not know. I don't see how I can trust you if I don't know what exactly you are doing in your study." He said, his gaze narrowed as he looked at me with a stern expression. I sighed and chuckled.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." I chuckled, sitting back down. "I make adult entertainment videos." I said, seeing him look at me questioningly making me sigh, a slight blush coming upon my cheeks.

"I.. do not follow." He said making my blush darken.

"I make.. sexual, videos.. Content specifically for adults due to the fact I am usually, well.. naked in them.." I said, avoiding his eyes as I felt my face burn.

"So, you're a prostitute?" He asked making me laugh before I covered my mouth.

"Sorry, I've just never been called that before." I said, laughing slightly before I shook my head. "But no, people are not paying me to have sex with them. I make videos by myself and people pay me if they want to see more, or want 'personalized' videos. They can only look at me." I explained, seeing him nod, a slight blush on his own cheeks.

"So.. you're study is..?" He trailed off, trying to find the right word making me sigh.

"It has all my toys and lingerie in there, as well as a bed for obvious reasons." I said, crossing my legs as he raised an eye brow.

"Toys?" He asked hesitantly making me grin.

"You don't think I just use my hands, do you?" I teased, seeing his face turn bright red as he looked away.

"Now I see why you have it locked.." He muttered making me chuckle.

"Its pretty ironic really, since I'm still technically a virgin." I said, chuckling as I got up, walking out of the room and downstairs to grab a water bottle. Madara looking slightly puzzled when I came back up from my quick trip.

"How did you.. start, making these adult videos?" He asked when I entered the room again. "If you've never, had sex.. how did you start this?" He asked making me sigh.

"Long story short, I didn't want to have a job that directly deals with people, where I could make my own schedule and I found this to work. It got me through college debt free so I can't complain. I've got it better then a lot of people in this field and I'm glad about that." I said, shrugging as he seemed to nod, his face deep in thought as his brows furrowed.

"Do you ever regret it?" He asked, glancing at me hesitantly.

"Why should I?" I questioned back, seeing him open his mouth only to close it again. "Besides, I've never been interested in having sexual relations with a man thus far unless they're fictional. If I'm happy where I am, why should I regret it?" I asked, seeing him to be at what seemed like a loss for words.

"Wait.. what do you mean, 'unless they're fictional'?" He asked making me grin cheekily.

"I think that's enough questions for tonight." I said standing up with my hands on my hips. "Unless you plan on sleeping in here, I'm kicking you to you're own room." I said, seeing him narrow his eyes at me.

"Answer my question." He demanded making me grin smugly.

"Why? You want to know if I'd sleep with you?" I teased, his face flushing red as he grew defensive as he stood up.

"Don't flatter yourself. I am a god compared to you." He said, crossing his arms making me chuckle walking up to him and poking his chest.

"I don't know if you're a god or not, but you do have the body of one." I laughed, seeing him huff making me lightly pat his crossed arms. "Don't worry, Madara, I'd do whatever you wanted, if you asked." I said with a grin, watching as he started to choke slightly, rushing out of the room as I chuckled.

I quickly realized he'd left the books on my bed in his haste making me shake my head lightly. I set the few books in a stack on my night stand, leaving my door unlocked incase he wants to get them later. I walked downstairs and let Seth out for a quick potty break before bed, standing out on my back porch with a sigh, watching as the sun set in the horizon. I leaned against the railing surrounding my back deck, feeling eyes on me as I looked up over my shoulder, spotting Madara's retreating form from the window making me grin, rolling my eyes.

"Seth, come on!" I called, chuckling as I saw the ball of black headed straight for the door which I swiftly opened before he crashed into it. "Careful buddy, you can't go diving through glass." I laughed, locking the patio door and heading upstairs with him hot on my tail. I paused at Madara's door and gave a soft knock.

"Goodnight, Madara." I called, not waiting for a response before heading into my room and cuddling up in my covers, Seth burrowing under the blankets to curl up by my feet. I sighed happily, drifting off to sleep as my door creaked open quietly, Madara swiftly grabbing the books before making his way out, pausing at the door momentarily as he looked back at my sleeping figure.

"Goodnight.. Alex." He muttered, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

--------------------------

I woke up the next morning at 7 to Seth jumping on my stomach making me groan, rolling over as I clutched the area.

"Seth.. Why.." I gasped, the dog still trying to jump all over me. "Alright! Alright! Do you want outside or not?!" I yelled, the dog leaping off the bed and skidding on the hard wood down the hall as I huffed, throwing the covers off and throwing on a random hoodie and my Karuma slippers. I made my sleepy way down the stairs, passing Madara as he exited the bathroom, I gave a sleepy wave and headed to the patio door, opening it and walking out into the cold morning air. I frowned a bit as I heard a distinct crunch under my feet as I stepped on the grass, looking down to see a thick layer of frost everywhere which Seth was currently covering himself in.

"It got cold fast." I muttered, hugging my sweater closer to myself as I walked into the kitchen briefly to start the coffee maker. I returned to the door not even a minute later and stood there watching Seth and the surrounding area for a moment, it was nice out again other then the cold; maybe a little more cloudy. I called Seth back in after he finished his business, making myself a coffee as Madara came down in the pair of sweatpants and plain grey sweater I had brought out for him. It wasn't much but would do for now.

"Do you want to go and get clothes for yourself today? I've got a lot of editing to do so I'll need to know how to space out my time accordingly." I said, turning to him as I sipped my coffee. He stared at me a moment and nodded.

"Yes, though I am unsure how to feel about this worlds choices in clothing." He said, looking down at himself making me smirk.

"You look good to me." I said, giving a teasing wink before I turned to look out the window. "We've got the whole day really, so you can take a bit of time choosing what you want." I said, walking past him up to my room.

"Where are you going?" He asked me making me turn to him and raise an eyebrow.

"Don't think I wear this little clothing out in public. Well, not unless I'm trying to impress anyone." I said with a chuckle, taking a little extra effort to sway my hips up the steps to go change. I wonder if he'd snap with enough teasing. I really am asking for it, aren't I? I washed my face, did some makeup and went to my room to change, taking a few moments before finally piecing together the outfit I wanted.

I figured, if I got the courage, maybe I could tease him considering this is quite the short skirt. I had my black cat backpack with me, my wallet and extra items inside as I walked back down the stairs.

"I'm ready when you are." I said, looking around for Madara, doing a full turn around as I tried to find him, suddenly feeling him behind me making me stiffen slightly.

"You're not trying to impress someone?" He asked, his voice sounded a little amused making me grin.

"Nope. I just like to look nice for myself." I said, walking out into the garage and pressing the unlock button on my car keys. I opened the door as Madara stood in front of the car, staring at it hesitantly.

"What.. is this?" He asked making me pause.

"Right, they don't have cars in Naruto when you're there." I said, walking over to him. "This is called a car. Its a machine that's used for transportation, I control it because I'm the only one of us that knows how, and I drive us to wherever we need to go." I explained as I opened his door for him, letting him look around as he cautiously sat inside. I walked over to my side, reaching over my shoulder for my seatbelt and clicking it in place, turning to Madara as he attempted to copy my movements only for it to get stuck as he pulled it out too far that the child lock turned on.

"Here, let me." I said, chuckling as I grabbed his hand before he yanked it too hard in frustration. I fixed it and buckled him in as he looked away from me.

"I could have done it." He muttered making me laugh.

"Without breaking it? I doubt that." I said making him huff. "Oh, stop pouting. you look like a kicked puppy." I chuckled, starting the car as I pressed a button on my keychain to open the garage, driving out of the garage and closing the door behind me.

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astridhesp · 1 year ago

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an Astrid's break(story)

a story of a kid realising they're trans uploaded in parts

me Let preface this by saying some would not call me astrid

And none have since birth because i am not a regular girl

Because in fact at birth i wasn't one at all

This isn't the story of a teenage girl becoming popular or getting a boyfriend this is the story of a teenage boy realising he isnt a boy

Chapter 1: habromania

The school bus was never a pleasant experience especially as there was no headphones to block out the idiotism of the kids who had no other worries than to what there privileged mother had put in their packed lunches

I sat down next to finn an extremely short boy with fluffy ruffled hair and a really high pitch voice and without fail always wore some sort of black vest beneath his clothes.i push my bag, a bag more resembling a handbag than anything to which i get relentless bullying for but it's worth it, beneath the bus seat in front of me to which another one of my friends sit, jack an extremely tall skinny boy with flat blonde hair and rough hands with scar marks on them where his skeleton should be.Next to jack sat a girl with dirty blonde hair named janice ,but everybody calls jan for short she's jacks girlfriend yet neither me nor finn enjoy her company all that much.

I look down and see finn is once again wearing a hoodie but this one's new it's got jack skellington on it

“Nice hoodie, it's new right?”

i inquire to finn he looks up at me with the cutest smile on his face a curve level with his little nose scrunched up in joy making him resemble a pug

“MICK”

He belts out putting his arm around my shoulder and hugging me i thoroughly enjoy his warmth and out my neck down on his shoulder

“I thought you'd skived school man i was gonna be pissed alone in english and i wore this hoodie just for you i know you love my oversized ones” he states

“Don't worry about me man you'll be fine in english but i will be nabbing your hoodie the second it comes off” i reply cheekily

He sighs, acting as if he's not trying to mask his smile at my statements. I giggle and put my arm around him letting him lay on my chest for the rest of the bus ride.

We arrive at our dreaded location and almost immediately homophobic insults get yelled at me and finn despite the fact he's not gay to my knowledge and i'm pretty sure im not gay either

I go straight to the bathroom sending jack and jan along to their form whilst i go to sort my hair out and finn follows close behind gripping my hand as there is no bag handle otherwise for him to grasp and put myself in front of the mirror, i see a boy with medium length hair looking back at me medium height still tall compared to finn yet my hairs still in my eyes no matter which what way i brush it. Finn giggles at my inconvenience and tells me to look at him and he brushes my hair away with his hand so I

have a good view of his perfect face.we stay there for a minute just looking at each other before finn cuts it short and reminds me we need to go to form.

Form and English go about as expected, the only good thing about them being that I sit next to Finn in them. At breaktime I get asked if I'm in a couple with Finn and I find the question weird because they all laughed when they asked it but even if I was, why would it be a laughing matter.Finns a good guy there's nothing wrong with him why would they laugh.

The rest of the day is kind of a blur because i can't think why they would laugh.finn notices something is up on the bus ride back but instead of doing what most would do and try to talk about it he knows me and hugs me and lets me lay on him as he fidgets with my hair as i calm down in his lap.

“Do you want me to stay the night at yours”

proposes finn to which i agree swiftly but a year 11 comes over to us and says multiple slurs at us to which i tell him to clear off but he says

“I was planning to anyways rather than be near two gayboys like you”

BUT IM NOTGAY ,at least I don't think so.

Me and finn walk home together but i ask him on the way

“Are we-you-me-us i don't know is this… gay”

“I don't know it depends what you want”

“Well… are you gay”

“ to be completely honest i don't know”

“Me neither”

#story #indie #gay #transgender #creative writing #writing #angst #coming of age

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dhr-deleted · 2 years ago

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2023 May - Uploaded

GryffindorGirl153 The Christmas Enchantment (44KB - 8 Chapters - R) She was chosen by the witch and all she had to do was fall in love and be loved in return by Christmas. The hard part; she lost her voice, can't leave hogwarts grounds and she has Draco Malfoy to help her through this.

Clock Tower (8KB - One Shot - PG-13) Draco Malfoy, who was known to be dead, came back to see if the rumors were true. She found a note on her bedside table in familiar handwriting. Come meet me in the clock tower. and don't be late.

Contours (362KB - 27 Chapters - R) Hermione glanced at him, then back to the reporter. “Yes.” She finally said. “It is true.” Despite her words, she was glaring at Draco as she spoke. “I am engaged to Draco Malfoy.”

Forever (13KB - One Shot - R) After about an hour and a half of sitting in front of her grave, a tear slid down my cheek as I sat inside my car, gripping the steering wheel tightly and staring into the darkness. I had forgotten how much I missed her that it hurt.

Heroine (9KB - One Shot - R) It was my fault in the first place- it was my fault for letting this happen. So this nagging feeling in my heart- this uncanny feeling of hurt doesn’t mater to me at all. I discarded the thought of being with her from my head, and focused on the factual things in life. I focused on what I had to, and pushed myself away from the fantasy that I lived in.

I'd Die Just for You (13KB - One Shot - PG-13) "How much do you love me?" She asked him. "That's a rather stupid question," He answered. "I still want to know," "You really want to know?" He asked. She nodded her head. He placed his hand and the small of her back, and the other behind her neck, bringing her closer to him and his lips finally touched hers. He kissed her for everyone to see. That's how much he loved her.

Lost Memories (114KB - Incomplete - R) It was during 7th year, when they decided to end everything, start where their normal lives ended, and forget everything that had happened. It was during 7th year when they chose to stay safe, rather than love each other. They cast their memories away in a locket, and the very same lockets hung around their necks the very same day. What happens, when things go wrong, and memories that don't belong in their heads start spilling?

Our Hearts (28KB - Incomplete - R) Sequel to: The Christmas Enchantment - Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger finally fell in love and they lived Happily Ever After. Scratch that. Then lived happily ever after UNTIL Antony Lopez decides to switch bodies. As new love starts to arise between everyone, what happens to Hermione and Draco now?

Pain and Glory (13KB - One Shot - R) Her absence left an unflattering feeling of emptiness in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that he was not remotely accustomed to. He constantly searched for her during her absences, which was quite often. Because of their unstable but incredibly passionate relationship, their encounters were sporadic and brief, and once their moment of passion was over, she left without ever looking back.

Prisoner (22KB - One Shot - R) Throughout the years, I had tried so hard to forget about my past, to forget how love felt like and to forget how it felt like to have your heart broken so severely that you would’ve rather die than experience that particular pain. I tired to forget his name, his laugh, his smile, his scowls, his voice and the memories that he left, etched in my body. For once I wanted to be heartless. I didn’t ever want to love if this was how it felt to lose someone.

Should I Tell Her? (9KB - One Shot - PG-13) My breath was caught in my throat, and my eyes widen when I heard the words ‘Will you be mine?’ Leave Draco Malfoy’s thin lips. My hands and legs became weak, and my heart torn in two, when I saw that smile form on her face; the smile that she had always given me, when she caught me staring- it was her special smile, since I was the only one who had ever seen it.

longdistance A History of Magic (75KB - 6 Chapters - PG-13) He's to do what's expected of him. She's agreed to introduce him to eligible witches during the Ministry's five year celebration of the end of the war: A History of Magic. However, the course of true love never did run smooth. Fate has thrown a wrench in his mother's plans. Or did it?

Christmas Eve on Her Doorstep (13KB - One Shot - PG-13) Every Christmas Eve he appears at her home with a gift. This year, he's late.

Consent (47KB - 4 Chapters - R) He only asks that one sliver of his soul stays clean. He's not convinced he's succeeded when they return him to her.

Everything (10KB - One Shot - R) He'll give everything to save her, and he'd do it again if asked. Rated M for language.

From Paris, With Love (92KB - 10 Chapters - R) She's been gone from England for a few years but now she's home again in time for Christmas. It will be a holiday season unlike any other.

H - - - (39KB - 3 Chapters - R) Four letter words are so intriguing. The question is which one is the right descriptor for whatever this is between them.

Hermione (30KB - One Shot - R) A different take on the old marriage law trope. Read on for an emotional but satisfying roller coaster as your favorite pairing learns to love one another.

How to Move On (541KB - 45 Chapters - R) It's been nearly a decade since the war. A long time since she locked herself away. A long time since he faced his mistakes. She's what he wants. He's what she needs. It's time for both of them to figure out how to move on.

In the Heat (18KB - One Shot - R) A chance meeting at a Paris hotel. A past misunderstanding. Her lips, his heart, and something more.

Marmalade (13KB - One Shot - PG-13) It all started with a jar of marmalade.

Matched (266KB - 21 Chapters - R) The wizarding community has not quite bounced back in terms of numbers since the end of the war. Desperate times call for desperate measures and a Marriage Law is enacted by the Ministry. Hermione isn't even dating anyone, let alone ready to be someone's wife. Draco has a secret that he'd rather not share. Odd couples are made and they have a year to figure it all out.

Not Tonight (14KB - One Shot - PG-13) She's avoided talking about it but Hermione can't run from it any longer. Not tonight.

Once Upon a Night (275KB - 17 Chapters - R) One night will change everything.

One Each Day (48KB - 7 Chapters - R) Draco has a choice to make. Perhaps a little look into what could be will help him make up his mind.

One Shot For Them All: A Collection of Dramione Stories (239KB - 49 Chapters - R) Here you'll find an assortment of random little Dramione themed one shots. No particular theme. Some funny, some fluffy, some serious and painful. Come for the fun, stay for the Dramione.

Rose (61KB - 5 Chapters - R) A short tale of what happens after Hermione and Draco wake up with each other after a drunken night together. Alcohol often has consequences which they soon learn. Rated M for a later chapter and mild swearing.

She was Beautiful (234KB - 21 Chapters - R) What if Draco had other reasons for bullying Hermione so badly in school? What if her life had depended on it? This is a story of what happens when they meet again eight years after the war. He'll begin work on healing the wounds he created.

The Return of Blaise Zabini (8KB - One Shot - PG-13) Blaise Zabini has been gone from wizarding London for nearly two years. In his first week back, he finds himself at the Ministry's annual Christmas party and is surprised to see a certain blonde Slytherin who definitely doesn't work for the Ministry. What in the world has brought him there anyway?

The Tax (15KB - One Shot - PG-13) Draco Malfoy hears from a very reliable source that Hermione Granger could kiss a man senseless and intends to investigate for himself. In usual Slytherin fashion, he'll use this knowledge to his advantage.

The Wooing of Hermione Granger (116KB - 10 Chapters - PG-13) A multi-chapter prequel to "The Return of Blaise Zabini". A bit of fluff and a bit of snark, you'll learn just how this iteration of your favorite pairing came to be. It'll take a bit of convincing but Draco Malfoy is intent on wooing Hermione Granger.

Time Travel (9KB - One Shot - R) An eighteen year old Draco Malfoy is faced with the impossible. Right?

Veela for Christmas (14KB - One Shot - PG-13) He'd evaded her for months. Now he'll have no choice but to confront her possible rejection. Perhaps he'll have a nice Christmas after all.

What You (Don't) Say (28KB - 2 Chapters - R) Instead of romance, they'll settle for something more like a business partnership. However, the problem is always in what you don't say.

You'll Regret This (28KB - One Shot - PG-13) After a disastrous assignment between their offices goes awry, Draco Malfoy finally gets the chance to admit his feelings for a certain muggle-born witch, much to her ex's dismay. Will he regret his actions? Humor and fluff await!

mollygeorgia Delicate (113KB - Incomplete - NC-17) A chance encounter in Paris puts Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy back in each other's orbit. Next comes Italy and before long, they’ve met up in hotel rooms in a half dozen cities across Europe. Their trysts are hidden behind closed doors, only known by a handful of people, and intentionally take place far away from Great Britain’s Wizarding World. But as their worlds start to creep closer together, and it becomes increasingly more difficult to stay secret, they must decide if what they have is worth the risk.

The Moment When (61KB - 4 Chapters - R) Years later, Hermione Granger would pinpoint the moment she decided to take the next train as the moment when her life changed forever.

Some nights kept me awake (I thought that I was stronger) (26KB - One Shot - R) Hireath (noun): (1) A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was. (2) A longing to be where your spirit lives. (3) A deep and irrational bond felt with a time, era, place, or person.' For Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, how can one word end up meaning so much?

Trixie_d Keep It Sweet In Your Memory (24KB - One Shot - R) “He’s jealous of something that might never happen.” She spoke under her breath. “You don’t know that.” She cleared her throat “They don’t see me in that way anyways…and Ron, he just...” She huffs a little. “Doesn’t seem to see it in my perspective.�� “And what if your perspective is wrong.” She snorted, “I’m never wrong.” Inspired by Sunflower Vol 6

viridianatnight Temper (25KB - Incomplete - NC-17) She's a murderer. But its only her job, so really, can he be upset? He's an Auror. But its only his job, so really, what rules apply? What happens when obsession and psychosis meet? What happens when the line are so blurred, its almost as if they were never there before? What happens when cat meets mouse? A Killing Eve Inspired AU then add magic. And sex.

#updates: uploaded

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sweetrevxnge · 2 years ago

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Like Phantoms, Forever

Chapter Eight | Play Stupid Games

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader

Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight. While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.

What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death

Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA

*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!

Masterlist

Word count: 4k

A/N: I'm sorry for the late update! I'm in the middle of starting my new job, so I don't have as consistent of a writing schedule anymore. I promise that new chapters will be uploaded somewhere in the beginning of the week from here on out!

───────── ⋆ ☆ ⋆ ─────────

The sky was a brilliant shade of gold when your eyes finally fluttered open. Warmth radiated through your cheek as your head rested on Ben’s chest, his arm wrapped behind you and draped loosely over your frame. The weight of it was comforting, securing you against his side.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see rays of sunlight washing over his face, bathing his closed eyes and aquiline nose in a soft glow. You buried your face into his skin in an attempt to escape the harsh light, grumbling as you did.

“Hmph.”

“Good morning,” he whispered, his voice deep and smooth. Either he didn’t suffer from morning grogginess like the rest of us did, or he had been awake for some time.

“G’morning,” you mumbled into his chest, fighting your body’s instinct to wake up.

Ben reached his free hand up and ran it through your hair, trying his best to gently detangle the mess with his fingers. To say that you had bed head was an understatement. For a brief moment, you were embarrassed to be so disheveled in his presence, but at the end of the day, he was the reason you looked this way.

The world around you was hazy as you willed your eyes open, blinking away the remnants of sleep. The dull drone of Ben’s heartbeat pulsed against your ear, steady and slow. You were so entranced by the sensation of waking up beside him that it didn’t even occur to you that you were still in his bed, laying next to him as the suns were rising.

You scrambled to sit up, pulling the rough blanket up to cover your chest as your eyes darted around the room frantically.

“Shit, I never went back last night?!”

A frustratingly calm chuckle passed through Ben’s lips, only serving to fuel your panic.

“This isn’t funny!”

“No, it’s not funny. But there’s no use panicking now, we’re going to be late regardless.”

“How are you so calm about this?” you asked, already halfway off the bed and gathering your wrinkled clothes from the ground.

“Because there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

He sat up on his palms, causing the blanket to tumble down his bare chest. Images of last night flashed across your vision—him above you, beads of sweat forming at his hairline as he chased his pleasure, the ache between your legs demanding the same. You squeezed your eyes shut in an attempt to refocus on the problem at hand.

“Okay, that’s great and all, but how am I supposed to get out of your hut without being noticed? I really doubt that me getting caught leaving your quarters in the morning would go over well.”

He smiled, evidently amused by your panic. “We’ll just wait in here while everyone else goes to training. And if we do get caught, it’s not a big deal.”

You blinked at him. “In what world would it not be a big deal?”

“Because it’s attachments that are forbidden, not sex.” The emphasis on the word made your stomach churn, an unfriendly reminder that what you felt for him was entirely wrong. “We’re not the first—or the last—students to hook up at the Academy.”

It was as if he had reached through your ribs and clutched your heart, ripped it free from the wiring of your veins, and sent it plummeting through your chest. Now, it was settled uncomfortably in your stomach, drenched in corrosive acid that was slowly eating away at the memory of last night.

The words rattled around your skull, clashing and clattering into your thoughts, sending them to far away conclusions. While yes, that was technically what had happened last night, hearing him use such casual terms to describe it sent insecurity coursing through you like voltage.

“Oh, that’s…reassuring.” The words passed through your lips like a ghost, devoid of any emotion that would support your statement.

“See? There’s nothing to worry about,” Ben said as he crawled out of bed, his focus occupied with pulling on a new pair of briefs rather than conversing with you.

Had he glanced up for even a second, he would have seen the turmoil in your eyes, the rigidity of your jaw, and maybe even sensed that his statement had upset you. But he didn’t.

Instead of continuing to stand there, covered only by your undergarments in the center of his room, you pulled your gaze away and worked to redress yourself, swallowing the lump that was forming in your throat.

It didn’t occur to you how fragile you might be after sharing something as intimate as you had with him. Throughout your entire life, you had kept everyone at an arm’s length away as a means of protecting yourself. Protecting yourself from what exactly? You weren’t sure then, but now, you knew.

You didn’t allow your mind to linger on the possible interpretations of what he had said, instead trying to distract yourself as a means to preserve your fractured pride, as well as squandering the embers of affection that remained from his embrace just minutes ago. The same embrace whose intentions you could no longer be certain of.

After securing your robes with a tight knot around your waist, you were quick to turn heel away from him and towards the door. The sound of your boots receding was enough to pull Ben from his task, looking up at you with curious eyes.

“Hey, where are–”

“I think everyone’s at training by now. I’ll see you there.” Your tone was flat, just a thread away from detached, as you pulled the door open without so much as a glance behind you.

“No, don’t go. Wait for–”

The door closed with a thud, effectively silencing him and separating the two of you.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you set off towards the temple, unsure if they were a result of the icy wind or your heart slowly splintering. You trained your eyes on the ground below you, anything to focus on besides what just happened.

As you passed your hut, the allure of changing into a fresh set of robes called to you, so you did, taking an extra minute to comb out your hair as well. It was for the best, both in anticipation of earning your classmates’ attention when you entered late, as well as to remove the subtle reminder of last night from your body. Not to mention the scolding you would be receiving from Master Skywalker for your second tardy offense.

Scaling the stone steps felt more arduous than usual—whether that was due to the tightness in your lungs from the cold air, or the unexpected soreness splitting your legs—you weren’t sure. Once again, you pushed aside the memory of last night, trying to forget the way Ben’s lips skated across your body, how his fingers dug into your hips as he drove into you, the feeling of being pushed over the edge repeatedly by his touch.

Stop it, you scolded yourself as you stood outside the temple doors, trying to catch your breath before entering. Hobbling in late and completely out of breath was not high on your list of grand entrances.

Tentatively, you pulled the doors back, scanning the cavernous room for the group of students. The lights were particularly dim this morning, something you were grateful for as you stepped inside. But that didn’t stop Master Skywalker, as well as the rest of the students, from spotting you.

Your Master watched as you sat down, your spot as far back in the group as you could possibly manage. To no surprise, you had interrupted his morning announcements, leaving the room in stilted silence.

“Nice of you to join us,” he said, an irritated expression on his face.

“My apologies, Master.”

He held your gaze for an unsettlingly long moment before returning his attention to his pupils. The tension in your shoulders released when he started speaking again, informing the class of the day’s plans.

As he continued to address the group, you did your best to focus on his words, until you noticed someone scooting toward you in your periphery. Your eyes widened at the realization of who this person was.

“Voe?!” Your question came out as a low hiss, trying not to disrupt your Master again. “When did you get back?”

She held a pointed finger against her lips and nodded towards Master Skywalker. You trusted that she would fill you in on the details of her journey after the group had split off for the day. Selfishly, you were thankful for her unexpected return, serving as both a comfort and a distraction.

A moment later, Master Skywalker dismissed the class, allowing the students around you to leave for their respective training sessions, including Voe. Before you could move to join them, Master Skywalker signaled you over to him. You obeyed, your cheeks growing warm as your feet carried you to where he stood.

He greeted you with your name, nodding at you as he cleared his throat. Your heart pounded against your ribs, sweat beading at the nape of your neck.

“I’d like to address this problem before it gets out of hand. What seems to be the issue?”

You nodded in agreement, desperately hoping that he couldn’t somehow sense your elevated heartbeat through the Force. You searched your mind for the most diplomatic response in this situation, honestly just any excuse that wasn’t ‘I’m sorry, Master, I woke up late because your nephew and I shared a romantic and wildly intimate night together, one I considered to be more than just a hookup, but from the sound of it, was just a hookup to him. I swear that I left as soon as I could to get here, but unfortunately was still late because nothing seems to go right for me.’

“It’s my watch. There are days where the alarm just doesn’t go off. It’s really frustrating, actually.” A weak excuse, but the best that you muster at the moment.

He huffed, clasping his hands behind him as his eyes burned holes into your skull. “If you’re going to lie, at least try a little harder than ‘my alarm didn’t go off.’”

You were, unsurprisingly, speechless. Were your lying skills that bad? Or was the Force just an undeniable measure of truth?

You swallowed thickly, prepared to say anything to move past his scrutiny and be given your punishment. “I’m sorry, I don’t–”

“I may be old, but I am no fool,” he said bluntly, surveying the dwindling number of students in the room before returning his intense gaze to you. “Where’s Ben?”

The sound of his name set your nerves on fire, not in a particularly bad way. “I-I don’t know, Master.”

He sniffed loudly and shifted his weight to his other hip. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that he could sense your spiking anxiety at the mention of his nephew.

“In the future, just bring him with you next time, okay? It saves me the trip to his quarters to tell him his punishment.”

You only nodded in response, trying to save face in front of your Master who, by the sound of it, had a suspicion about the true reason for your tardiness.

“One week on the steps starting tomorrow. Rain or shine.”

With that, the Jedi Master turned on his heels and left the temple, leaving you alone in the hollow chamber.

The rest of the afternoon was spent moping around your quarters and dealing with a pounding headache, one of an entirely mysterious etiology. If you were lucky, you had caught a cold and could spend a few days hiding out in the infirmary. But you were asymptomatic otherwise, which meant that the medical droids would likely send you away after a quick assessment. Maybe you could makeyourself sick. Drinking the creek water or eating some wild berries would probably do the trick. Anything to avoid a full week of scrubbing the steps from dawn until dusk with Ben.

The throbbing in your skull amplified at the thought of him. Rage boiled within you as you dissected his words, but your heart betrayed you, forcing you to relive the tender moments you shared with him. Recounting the sweet nothings he whispered to you, the blissful escape of his lips, all things whose validity was now in question.

Who’s to say that he hadn’t brought other girls out to stargaze with him, or that you were even the first girl to sleep with him? The thought of him lying to you about such an intimate thing filled your throat with bile, but the thought was relentless. Men have lied about more for less.

But, the two of you were practically dating. Well, you never officially established a label, but your actions would indicate so, the logic in your mind argued back, trying to maintain its grasp on rationality and what you knew to be undeniably true.

Men will say and do anything to get what they want, isn’t that what Eilia had said when she had her heart broken? As shattered as it was, your heart presented fair evidence. You remembered the look on your friend’s face when she showed up at your door, hot tears running down her face. You comforted her, sympathized with her, and allowed your heart to ache for her. After witnessing that, you decided that you didn’t want to be like her—no, you couldn’t allow yourself to be like her. It made sense now, why attachments were forbidden by the Jedi. The splitting of your own heart told you just how dangerous losing someone could be to the balance of one’s mind.

The sound of knuckles rapping against your door pulled you from your spiral. You stood from your seat in front of the fire pit and opened the door, unsure of who to expect behind it.

Voe’s vivid green eyes were wide—almost frenzied—as she pushed past you into your hut.

“Um, come in, I guess,” you muttered, closing the door behind her.

She wasted no time with pleasantries. “Where the hell were you this morning?!” she demanded. She was fuming, like a mother scolding her disobedient child.

“What?” Your face contorted in confusion. “Does this have to do with me being late? Because I’d really rather not talk about it–”

“I came by this morning to surprise you with some fresh meiloorun, and my arrival at the Academy, but instead, all I found was an empty hut and you missing from the grounds.” Her eyebrows were raised now, her tongue prodding the inside of her cheek.

You opened your mouth to speak, but before you could utter a word, she continued.

“I nearly organized an entire search party to go looking for you!”

“Okay, can you please not yell at me about this? I already have a splitting headache and this really isn’t helping. I don’t need to be lectured by you for what I choose todo,” you spat in defense.

She ignored your words. “For all I knew, you had fallen in a ditch and injured yourself out in the middle of nowhere, or gotten lost on a path and froze to death.”

Your patience had reached capacity, and now you were fully irritated with her. “Well, as you saw at the temple and can still see now, I’m alive and well,” you said, motioning to your intact body. “I’m terribly sorry for the scare I gave you, but yelling at me isn’t going to change that.”

With that, you brushed past her to sit on your bed, bumping into her shoulder as you did. The hammering in your skull hadn’t subsided, only becoming more unbearable as the conversation progressed. You dug the heel of your palms into either side of your head, hoping to smother the pain with counterpressure.

“As much as I’d love to catch up with you and hear about your adventures with Lor, I’m not really in a great headspace right now.”

“Whose hut were you in this morning?” she asked plainly, raising an eyebrow at you in a way that, if you hadn’t been getting yelled at twenty seconds ago, could almost be described as playful.

You clenched your jaw, a sting of anxiety shooting through you. “I wasn’t in anyone’s hut, I was just showering. Stars, can you just–”

“C’mon, you can’t just do the ultimate walk of shame into the temple and not tell me who it was,” she said, a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. She moved to sit next to you, her shoulders relaxing as she settled into the mattress. “Was it Tai? Or Cassus? Cassus has been telling everyone on the planet about how he’s going to win you over, did he finally–”

The comments were disorienting to say the least. Less than a minute ago she was yelling at you for being irresponsible, and now she was trying to extract information about who you had slept with? Not to mention the revelation about Cassus, a student who you’ve maybe spoken to once or twice in passing. That was something to address later.

“Wait, are you being serious? I didn’t sleep with anyone.”

Her head cocked to the side in disbelief. “It’s okay if you did. There’s no rule that says Jedi can’t live a little, so to speak. We’re all guilty of it.”

Unease settled in your stomach at her flippant attitude about sex. Not that you were opposed to people hooking up with no strings attached, and for all you knew, you might enjoy it too. But not with Ben, at least not after you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with him. Did he believe the same as Voe, that sex was just an indulgence that the Jedi could partake in?

“What do you mean ‘we’re all guilty?’”

“I mean exactly what I said,” she said. “I’d bet money that everyone here has hooked up with someone and probably regretted it to some extent.”

Regret. The perfect word to describe the feeling that was gnawing a pit into the lining of your stomach. An overwhelming curiosity to know who Voe’s “regret” was creeping in, demanding an answer. Besides, if she was going to press you about yours, she should share hers first.

“Do you have someone you regret sleeping with?”

She let out a groan as she flopped back on your bed, her hands covering her face. “Of course I do,” she mumbled into her skin. “I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours.”

Everything inside of you was telling you to stop this conversation right now. To laugh it off and move past the subject. But the whirlwind of emotions stirring within you was becoming too much to bear, maybe being able to talk to someone would calm it.

“Deal.”

Voe shot up, her enthusiasm all too evident on her face. “Really? Oh stars, who was it? Was his dick bi–”

“No, no, no. If you’re going to barge into my hut and start accusing me of sleeping around the Academy, you’re sharing first.”

“Okay, fine,” she groaned, releasing a sharp exhale after. “A while back, I hooked up with Amir.” She paused, as if she was waiting for you to react to the name. Given that the entire time you had been at the Academy your attention had been trained on one boy in particular, you struggled to match the name to a face.

Noticing your confusion, Voe took the liberty of filling the gaps in your memory. “You know…tall, dark, and devastatingly handsome?”

“Oh, yeah…him,” you said with a nod, not because you actually knew who she was talking about, but more so to move the story along. “How was that?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long sigh. “It went about as well as you could imagine it would for two clueless Jedi,” she said, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. “He didn’t know what he was doing and just kind of…flopped on top of me for what felt like forever, but was probably less than a minute. He had no concern for me or my enjoyment.”

The visual she painted caused laughter to bubble in your throat, but you suppressed it into a quiet chuckle. “Sounds romantic if you ask me.”

The dichotomy of how caring Ben had been with you was not lost on you, but you quickly dismissed it.

She snorted. “Oh, so romantic. Later on, I tried to rectify the situation with someone better, but it never worked out.”

The ambiguity of her statement felt intentional, so you didn’t pry. “Well, I’m sorry you had to go through that. There’s better dick in the galaxy, I’m sure of it.”

She waved a hand playfully. “Don’t worry, I get along just fine by myself.” At least the Jedi Code doesn’t forbid that. “So, now it's your turn to spill.”

Still hesitant to verbalize what you had done, you picked at your nails, buying yourself a few seconds to compose your thoughts. Your throat felt tight as you swallowed a dry gulp.

What if this was a mistake? A small, desperate part of you wanted to cling to the version of Ben that you had created in your mind, the caring lover who would scale the entire galaxy at your request. But that wasn’t reality. The reality was that you projected something you could never have with him, and as anyone could have predicted, suffered the consequences of falling in too fast with someone. The two of you had hooked up, that was the truth. Just say it.

“I hooked up with Ben.”

As soon as the words left your tongue, you wished you could’ve scooped them up and put them back in your head.

She was eerily quiet, subverting your expectations of the reaction you thought you would receive. While Voe had made it plenty clear that she didn’t like Ben, you at least thought she could commiserate with how regretful you felt.

“You slept with Ben?” Her words were as sharp as a razor’s edge and laced with venom. The delicate skin under her eye twitched slightly as she watched you, an incredulous look on her face.

The signals running between your brain and your mouth stopped working, leaving you a silent idiot beside her. After a moment of sifting through possible responses, you decided to double down on your statement. She was already pissed off at you, and you planned to take any evidence of your feelings for him to the grave, so what did you have to lose?

“Yes, I did.” The words were slow to leave your lips, each one dripping off your tongue like molasses. “But it wasn’t–”

Before you could defend yourself, she stood and faced you. A dismissive scoff left her mouth as she shook her head. “Ben would only want to play with the new toy.”

You were taken aback at the comparison. “Hey! What the fuck?!”

“Don’t be stupid,” she hissed your name. “Your novelty will wear off, too.”

Whatever Ben Solo had said or done to that woman remained a mystery to you, but it was becoming easier to piece together now. All you knew was that in your attempt to be honest, you had completely ruined the one friendship you had here, all because of a boy.

The cracks forming in your heart spread as you sat there, replaying her words in your head.

You flinched as the door slammed shut behind her, your eyes still fixed on the fire in front of you. Shame washed over you, burning your skin and flooding your mind. The pounding in your head resumed, now worse than ever, and you buried your face into a pillow in the hope of escaping the horrid day that was unfolding before you.

#sleepy ben has my entire heart <3 #ben solo #ben solo x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x you #ben solo x fem!reader #ben solo x you #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars self insert #kylo ren smut #ben solo smut #my writing

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kittyt-hexxed · 3 years ago

Text

Hexed (Vi/POC!Reader) - Ch.8

*New Year - Two Chapter Special! Chapter 7 & 8

Next Upload Date: January 16th

Act 1: Chapter Eight - The Price You Pay

Warnings: Death

Summary: Vander tells you and the gang to lay low after the events in Piltover. Vi suggests the arcade and well... your plans to lay low don’t exactly go to plan.

You were drained from all of the excitement that happened today. The Enforcers had left but Powder reset her monkey just in case. You were sitting down on the bed with Ekko. He was telling you how he came looking for you guys when the Enforcers started flooding the lanes.

“Hey, Ekko…” You interrupted your brother, “I meant to tell you this sooner, but um… mom gave me money to take you to the zoo.” You looked at him and he was staring at you with a shocked expression. You giggled as it rapidly morphed into excitement. Ekko jumped up from the bed with a shout, “You mean we can go to the zoo soon?!” His shout attracted everyone else’s attention.

“Yes!” You laughed happily, “And with the gold bars, we can take everyone here to the zoo! And, we can actually visit the Progress Day fair!” You cheered alongside him. Powder whooped along with Claggor but Vi could only manage a forced smile. Mylo stayed quiet and rolled his eyes, but you ignored him.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get the money from Benzo’s! Then we can count it out and figure out how to spend it!” Ekko declared, and before you could stop him, he was already running out of the door. You laughed softly at his excitement but looked at your girlfriend in worry. You caught Vi’s attention just as she finished speaking with Powder.

Vi got up and walked over to you. She grabbed your hand and sat down so your legs brushed up against each other. You gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“So, can you tell me what happened earlier? You’ve got quite a few bruises…”

You sighed, “There wasn’t enough time for me to get up the ladder. So, I ran to hopefully confuse the Enforcers and raw them away from you guys… When I got to the opening of the alleyway, I managed to dodge one but another grabbed me. They um… They beat me.” You looked down at your hands. Vi was silent and you glanced at her to see her jaw clench before she let out a heavy sign.

“What’s got you so down?” You said quietly. You ran your thumb against her hand.

“I’ve been thinking about what happened yesterday. I really messed up, Y/n.” Vi sighed softly. She knew she couldn’t lie to you. You knew her too well and would immediately call her out on it. “And now you’re telling me that you got beat by Enforcers? Who does that? Who beats up a child?! I-I won’t let you get hurt again. I won’t let anyone get hurt again.” Vi rested her hand against your cheek and you leaned against it. You felt the exhaustion catching up to you as you let out a yawn. Vi gave you a smile and pulled you into a tight hug. You winced but hugged her back, “It’s not your fault, Vi. That was my decision.”

“I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today without you.” Vi whispered in your ear, “You’re so smart and adaptive. You could end up at Piltover’s University for real if you really put your mind to it.” She pulled back and stared you in the eyes, “It’s my job to protect you. If anything ever happened to you or Powder, I’d lose it. No matter what you do, never forget who you are, Y/n.”

You smiled at her and raised an eyebrow, “And what’s that?” You whispered back.

“Princess of the Undercity, of course. My princess.” Vi responded before leaning in and kissing you. You blushed realizing that the others were in the room, but you didn’t care. For once, Vi was kissing you without a care in the world and you weren’t going to stop her.

She broke the kiss and stood up, “Get some rest, I know you’re exhausted. The concussion has probably gotten worse, so please take it easy.” Vi gave you a stern look and you giggled. Vi helped you lay down and pulled the covers over you. With a kiss on the forehead, you found yourself falling asleep before you could tell Violet that she was the reason you were strong too.

You were woken up by aggressive shaking. Startled, you sat up quickly and saw Ekko hunched over with tears pouring down his cheeks and his eyes widened in terror. He was crying so hard that whatever he was trying to say couldn’t come out. You grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug as he kept sobbing.

“S-S-S-Sissy!” Ekko managed to choke out, “Y-You have to go! T-They need y-you!”

Ekko twisted in your grip, thrashing hard to get out so you let him go. Panic set in as he grabbed your shirt and started pulling you out of the bed.

“E-Ekko! What’s going on!” You gasped as you fell onto the floor. Ekko didn’t respond but kept trying to pull you up from the ground. You had never seen your brother so distraught and it was scaring you.

“Go! Get out of here!” Ekko shouted as he pushed you as you got to your feet. You stumbled a bit and turned around to him. You grabbed his wrists as he kept trying to push you away. “Ekko!” You shouted and he stilled. His eyes were bloodshot, moving around frantically, and you felt your heart drop. “Ekko, what’s going on? Who needs me?” You knelt down in front of him. He was shaking like he was freezing.

“V-Vi! Vi! She needs you!” You took a deep breath to try and calm your panic.

“Ekko. Ekko, look at me.” You turned your brother’s face towards you, “I need you to tell me what happened, Kiko. Okay? Quickly, so I can help them.”

Ekko nodded his head and took a deep breath, “Vi… Vi was going to turn herself over to the Enforcers.” Your eyes widened, “But, Vander and Benzo found her right before the Enforcers got there. Vander turned himself in for her instead.” Ekko took a shaky breath, “They went outside but got attacked by this… this monster that looked like Deckard! And- And it killed the Enforcers when S-Silco showed up.” The tears started flowing down his cheeks again, “B-B-Ben-z-zo-” Ekko choked and you pulled him into another hug. He pushed himself out of your arms and shook his head.

“Benzo was k-killed. T-They took Vander, and Vi… she went to the docks after them. Powder stayed behind but she just ran out! S-She said that she was going to help them!” Ekko started pushing you again after he finished his sentence, “So, you have to go! You have to get Powder and help them!” Your blood ran cold. This was too much to process all at once. Vi was going to turn herself in. Benzo got murdered. Vander got kidnapped and Vi went to save them. The part that hurt the most was that your brother had seen all of it.

“No. I have to stay here with you. You’re not in any condition to be by yourself.” You said firmly. The next thing you knew, Ekko slapped you. Your eyes widened as you touched your stinging cheek and looked at your brother. Ekko was glaring at you with intense eyes.

“You have to go.” He insisted, “I’ll be fine, but we can’t lose them.”

You and Ekko stared at each other and you sighed. You pulled Ekko into a tight hug that he returned. You could feel his tears dropping onto your shoulder.

“You’re so strong, Kiko. You’ve seen so much that you shouldn’t have to.” You whispered to him, “I’ll go get our friends and come back.” You pulled away and undid the pin that Claggor had given you. “Hold onto this for me?” You placed it into his hand and he nodded.

“I love you so much, my little firelight.” You whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you too, sis.” Ekko gave you a watery smile, “Now, go!”

You nodded your head and got up. ‘This is too much.’ You headed for the window before pausing and turning back to your brother. You locked eyes and he nodded his head. You grit your teeth and exit through the window, running up the steps to the roof. You had taken this path many times before, so you ran on autopilot. ‘Vi was going to turn herself in? Is that why she said all of that to me earlier? Had she already made up her mind by that point?’ Your feet skid on the rooftop but you kept on pushing yourself forwards. You took a deep breath as you jumped across a gap and realized that you had fallen asleep with your shoes on. Shaking your head, you pushed yourself harder as the docks entered your view.

‘And, Benzo’s dead? Just like that?! How did he die? Deckard killed him? No, no, Ekko said it was some kind of monster.’ You dropped down from the roof into an alley. You grunted as you hit the pavement a little too hard and took a second to shake off the pain. Your breathing was holding up thanks to Vi for pushing you to do stamina training.

You swung around the corner and ran to the building you had seen lights on in. As you got closer to the outside of the building, your head started to hurt again. You cursed but kept pushing yourself forward. Turning around another corner, you saw a flash of blue before you realized who it was, “Powder!” You called out to her. She startled and turned towards you with wide, panicked eyes. Powder didn’t say anything but hurriedly dropped some crystals into her jolly chimp. You climbed up to where she was as she winded it up and placed it through the gap in front of her.

Powder turned to you as you settled next to her, “What are you doing here?” She hissed while looking through the gap. You gave her a hurt look before gritting your teeth and peeking through the gap yourself. “I came here after hearing that my girlfriend, her friends, and her little sister ran to trouble!” You hissed right back at her. You watched as the monkey clapped its cymbals and the air around it warped. You raised your gaze higher and choked at the sight.

“Powder, w-what is that?” You gasped. Powder had turned and curled in on herself in a panic. You glanced at her and something stirred uncomfortably in your chest.

“That’s Deckard. H-He drank something that turned him into that! I don’t know! But, Vi and everyone is trapped in the room, and they’re going to be killed if I don’t do something.” The monkey’s cymbals clapped again, echoing in your mind as the air around it shifted more. You narrowed your eyes as the little crystal in between them sparked, “What are those crystals you put in there?” Your voice wavered as it seemed to spark more with every clap.

“They’re what caused the explosion-” The monkey stopped and Powder whipped around when she didn’t hear it go off.

“Explosion?!” You shouted as the monkey clapped its cymbals one more time. There was a high-pitched sound right before the crystal blew up. Your eyes widened in terror and you had just enough time to react and push Powder out of the blast’s direct path.

The explosion hit you with a heavy force and launched you backwards into the air. A sharp pain hit your chest, knocking the wind out of you, as you felt the bone crack. Your mind went fuzzy as your vision was overcome by a beautiful blue. Then, another muffled explosion sounded, snapping you out of the daze, as the pain in your head got worse.

You felt your body falling, but you couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t do anything. It felt like you were in the air forever. You were weightless… until you weren’t.

You let out a blood-curdling scream as you felt something stab you through the back. The pain tore through your back, into your stomach and your body hit the ground with a sickening thud. Your vision went white as your vocal cords cut out and a fiery pain tore through your mind. It felt like your nerves had been lit on fire. You shakily lifted your head as you choked, the metallic taste of your own blood flooding into your throat and mouth.

You were terrified and let out a broken whimper as your eyes landed on the metal rod protruding from your stomach. You dropped back to the ground, suddenly too weak to hold yourself up, as a soft blue glow appeared. You couldn’t find where the pain ended or began. You struggled to breathe staring up at the sky as hot tears ran down your cheeks.

For a moment, the world felt calm. The stars glittered above you like they were calling out to you, begging for you to come and play with them. You coughed, desperately trying to breathe, as the situation hit you.

You were dying.

The first thought in your head was Powder. Was she okay? Was she hurt like you? Did you push her out of the way in time? You couldn’t see her between the darkness and your blurry vision. The next person was Vi. What happened to her? You didn’t know the situation before you arrived. Was she clinging to life before Powder caused the explosion? Did she survive the blast?

Your head spun. You desperately tried to cling to consciousness but could feel yourself slipping. ‘Is this how it ends? I die here while laying in a pool of my own blood?’ You forced your hand to move as you dipped your finger into the blood. Shame and helplessness washed over you as you pictured your little brother in your mind. ‘Ekko. Ekko. No, no. I-I’m letting you down. I told you that I would come back.’ You could picture his excited grin from earlier today when you told him about the zoo. You let out a broken whimper. You couldn’t hear anything. Was help coming? Would you be able to hold out that long? ‘...No.’ You thought to yourself. The blackness swirled across your vision as your eyelids became heavy. ‘I’m so sorry, Kiko… I let you down. Live on, little brother. Be the light, my little firelight.’

You took one last painful breath as a pulse of warmth flooded your body. The black turned into a familiar shade of blue.

***

Vi’s body shook. Her breathing came out erratically as she tried to calm herself down. She hissed when she pressed down too heavily on her wound. Her mind was spinning like crazy. Too much happened in such a short timeframe. She sighed and glanced back down the tunnel towards her sister, but a soft little glimmer caught her eye first.

Vi squinted and recognized a body laying on the ground. Her breathing hitched when she saw your white hair splayed out on the ground. ‘No. No. No. I-It can’t be.’ She staggered back when she saw the pole sticking out through your body. There was only one person in the undercity with hair like yours. She choked, grief rushing through her body before movement to her right caught her eyes.

“Powder?” Vi gasped out when she saw Silco hovering over her sister. Her heart pounded in her chest as she threw herself off of the wall. Her movements were unsteady due to her wound.

“POW-!” Hands grabbed Vi from behind and she struggled to break out of their grasp. A sweet-smelling cloth covered her mouth causing her to panic more.

“Shh.” A man’s voice whispered in her ear. Vi kept struggling, screaming Powder’s name, and desperately hoping that she heard somehow.

“He’ll kill you if he hears you.” Vi couldn’t believe that this was happening. She felt herself rapidly losing consciousness, “Let’s go-” Vi’s vision blurred and the last thing she saw was your dead body and her father’s murder standing over her sister.

***

Ekko had watched his sister leave with a pit in his stomach. He didn’t want her to go, but he knew that whatever that monster was… they would need all the help they could get.

He tried to keep himself busy in the backroom, but everything felt too lonely. He was used to the loud laughter and high energy that filled the space. So, Ekko climbed through the window and headed for the roof. He climbed from roof to roof until he was at the highest point possible. He squinted hoping to see any sign of his sister and the gang.

Ekko sighed and sat down. Things had changed so quickly since Vi went on that heist. In just a couple of days, it went from amazing to horrifying. If nothing had gone wrong, they wouldn’t be in this position right now. He’d be at Benzo’s- Ekko choked as the tears started to form. He shook his head. Right now wasn’t the time. He didn’t know if his sister was safe.

Ekko leaped to his feet faster than he thought possible when an explosion sounded. He frantically looked around for the cause of it when his eyes landed on a cloud of blue smoke. His heart jumped into his throat when he realized it came from the docks. ‘That’s where my sister went.’ Ekko’s eyes widened in horror. Panic flooded his system as he took off in the direction of the docks. He knew you’d be upset with him, but you were his only sibling! He couldn’t let anything bad happen to you, regardless of being the younger sibling or not.

Another explosion sounded and Ekko cursed.

He could hear the terrified screams coming from the others down below. As he flew over the main street, Ekko saw a few people running in the direction of the explosion. His heart was pounding in his chest as he struggled to keep his breathing steady. He wasn’t used to running these long distances without stopping for a break.

Ekko had to force himself to stop when he couldn’t catch a breath. He stood there for a few minutes and just kept chanting ‘She’s okay. She’s okay. She’s okay.’ over and over. When he could breathe again, Ekko stood up and kept going.

A third explosion rocked the undercity, the cloud of smoke from the docks only getting thicker and thicker.

Ekko slid down a ladder into the alleyway just as the fourth explosion went off. He was close enough that the shockwave knocked him off of his feet. He yelped as he skidded across the ground and rolled to a stop. He panted, pushing himself back up as his legs ached in pain. He was so close. The rest of the lanes would be arriving soon to see what happened. Ekko knew he had to get there first to make sure that you were okay.

He staggered as his legs protested his movement, but Ekko didn’t care. With every footstep, he got closer to seeing his sister again. He paused to lean up against the wall before continuing on. ‘She’s okay. She’s okay. She’s okay.’

Ekko took a deep breath, “Sissy?!” He called out to you. He listened as hard as he could. He could hear the crackling of some flames, and the blue smoke billowed out of the building in front of him.

“Sis?!” Ekko called out again as he rounded the corner of the building. He was hit with the intense smell of blood as he walked further down the alley. Ekko’s eyes wandered around looking for the source of the blood when he froze.

Ekko’s hands started shaking as he stared ahead of him. The nighttime lights had switched on and illuminated where the source of the smell was coming from. Ekko forced his legs to move. They were heavy and felt like they were weighing him down. The shaking traveled up his arms until his whole body was trembling. A whimper left his lips and turned into a sob as he got closer to the body on the ground.

Your white hair was splayed out around you, some parts had been turned red from your blood, and your body was pale. Ekko dropped to his knees next to you and shakily ran his fingers alongside your cheek. He was sobbing heavily. His chest tightened and he struggled to breathe as the tears kept flowing. ‘She’s okay. She’s okay. She’s-.’ Overwhelmed with grief, Ekko screamed. He screamed and screamed, and screamed until his throat was hoarse. His hands were clutching your shirt so tightly his knuckles turned white.

A little flash caught his attention. He looked down to your chest and saw a little crystal glittering against your skin. The little crystal flashed again and Ekko looked at it in confusion. Running his finger along it, he hissed and pulled away as it sparked and shocked him. He looked closer and realized that it was embedded in your chest.

Ekko could hear yelling. People from the lanes were getting closer but he didn’t care. Numb, Ekko pressed his fingers against your neck. There was no pulse. He went to pull his fingers away when the crystal sparked and suddenly, he felt the faintest pulse. His breath caught in his throat in disbelief. With this amount of blood loss, there was no way you’d still have a pulse. He pressed his fingers harder and felt it. A pulse.

“H-Help… p-p-please… h-help my sister.” He whispered while he sobbed. He felt your pulse beat again and grit his teeth. He took a painfully deep breath.

“HELP!” He screamed. The footsteps and voices got louder and more urgent. They pounded against the pavement and rang in his ears.

“HELP US! PLEASE, MY SISTER NEEDS HELP!”

Ekko didn’t move when a crowd of people ran around the corner. Screams and horrified gasps filled the silence as they rushed over to him.

“She’s still alive!” Ekko called, “Please! Please, help me! I-I c-can’t lose her too…” Ekko glanced at the ground next to you and the words died on his tongue, “Be the light, my little firelight” was written in your blood. He screamed again.

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