#whats your trigger?

[mamafaithful]

Things on For you page on most sites today talking about triggers and how to avoid or mitigate the damage from them. Especially if they pertain to past abuse situations.

I've talked to therapists and chaplaincy, who seem to all stand on an equal position with these posts, but they always talk about "bad" triggers.

○ Large men shouting at you, avoidable.

○ Medium-sized men, named James/Jamie, loudly shouting around you at small children. Extremely niche. It's mainly unavoidable if I want to stay a scout leader. James is a popular name for my age bracket, to be heard over a horde of children one must shout the games directions in a loud clear manner that all 4/5 year olds will understand while running around the hall practicing their North East South West.

No one prepared me for "good" triggers

> someone being nice to me - bawling my eyes out in a public rest room

> had spasm during sex (with a one night stand) he was fucking helpful and kind, was worried about my health which wasn't the normal reaction I'd get with ex husband - which caused me to have a panic attack, so I got my stuff, got in my car, drove to sainsbury's, got ice cream even though I'm intolerant to that shit and went to my mums where I proceeded to rant to my mum while angrily eating ice cream.

> My new boyfriends friend helped me through a pots episode while im throwing up, and we're both drunk in a club's disabled loo. She's also asking my intentions with her friend and being so sweet when I say I'm scared that i really like them but im broken and i dont wanna be too much. - leads to a panic attack where my pots then sets off the alcohol, proceeds to throw up more. - club bouncer wants to use the loo so they're shouting, and she's shouting, causing me to then shut down. <- This ended with me overthinking all of today because: I worried the boyfriend because I wasn't warming up or very responsive this morning, so he barely got any sleep, making sure I was okay. I'm scared it'll scare him off. Or I'll scare him off. What do his friends think of me. Their night got cut short, having to deal with a drunk 31 year old unable to deal with a bleeding temperature change. (They are all young 20 somethings). Like I'm waiting for someone to be mean, I can deal with that, they're all being so nice and it scares me and I don't know how to explain even if I know they'll understand (we are all chronic oversharers).

So if you've even seen this. Let alone read it. If you've suffered from abuse, what's triggered your trauma flight response that you didn't expect to trigger it. You can keep it vague or overshare. I'm just curious.

[novakiart]

spideypool but it's a comedy of errors

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[featheredadora]

Disabled people shouldn't have to jump through hoops!!

[icaruspendragon]

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

[f0point5]

The way this man is the Main Character of this sport without actually putting in any effort needs to be studied

[criticalamityz]

can't wash you off

[gearbroth]

kiss me I’m seeing red

[deaddovedarlin]

I can't stand people who say they are a freak, but only the sanitized version of a freak.

C'mon. Ship something that you wouldn't condone in real life, try a kink- fictionally or otherwise- that you might not normally like, look over a darkfic or whump fic with a character you particularly dislike- or like, draw something that puts shame in your cheeks, identity with or as an animal, identity with an xenogender or mogai, make up your own gender! Try something a little freak-ish <3

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.

Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).

Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.

Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.

Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.

The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.

Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.

[gunsatthaphan]

"I just haven't found the right person for me."

[pompadorbz]

HEYYY SO REMEMBER THIS POST I DID WHERE I REDESIGNED THE HPA UNIFORMS? WELL. I STARTED A LINEUP ! I say started since i havent drawn everyone yet but like. it took too long on and off to get to just this point and quite frankly i wanted my life back! So will I ever finish it? possibly? hopefully? If i do you'll definitely see it but i couldn't stand watching this thing rot away in my files for a second longer so enjoy!!

[canisalbus]

I have a phobia of dogs like can't stand seeing images of them phobia but I love your work so much, I don't know what it is but there's something beautiful about how I can look at it without feeling that phobia. Like being on top of a mountain and seeing the view of the world below or how fire looks pretty close up. Your art to me feels like that scene in fantastic mr fox with the wolf.

Ah, that's both heartwarming and very interesting, I've never heard of any cynophobes liking my work! Thank you!

(I won't bother you about it of course, but I can't help but wonder if it's the same thing for all furry/anthro art you see or for some reason just me, and if it's the latter, what could be making my stuff more palatable for someone who is that intensely uncomfortable with canines. My style isn't realistic but it isn't super stylized and exaggerated either. Is it about the anthropomorphization and the humanlike features, expressions and behavior? When I draw actual dog-shaped-dogs, are they harder to look at?).

[phleb0tomist]

did you grow up with chronic pain? did you get called sensitive as a kid/teen with chronic pain? were you bombarded with wisecracks from adults who said you won’t know real pain till you get older? join my initiative to ban this vile practice from planet earth!

i had chronic pain as a kid. (still do now.) my physical ability was best in childhood, like, i could do cartwheels then, meanwhile i can’t walk now. but istg my pain was regularly at this very same level back in childhood. ok i have extra symptoms now which make things harder, but if we’re JUST focusing on the pain part, it’s often the same. this blows my mind. the level of pain that i have now, bedbound and with opioids and a million accommodations, is the same level i had when i was 10 when i was just walkin around all day, asking my teachers nicely if i could sit indoors during playtime. (they said no btw.) back then, every time i tried to tell people how much everything hurt, adults said i was “sensitive”.

was i sensitive? is that what i was?

I think i must have been insanely powerful as a 10 year old to be out and about with a level of pain that makes me nonfunctional as an adult. I wonder how many kids and teens are in that amount of pain right now and are being dismissed because of their age. i think the way adults treat children with long term pain is evil. “you don’t know real pain! it only gets worse as you get older! wait till you grow up!!”

okay i waited.

i’m closer to 30 now than i am to 10, and the more hindsight i gain, the more i realise what a horrific violation it is that my pain was ignored when i was the most vulnerable to the trauma of unmanaged pain and had the least frame of reference for what level of agony is normal to experience while climbing stairs

[miyuskye]

I found this scene in particular so odd and out of place in the new episode. Apart from the fact that Stolas has no right to be angry at Blitz for "not saving him" when Striker kidnapped him nor to be upset that he didn't tell him about Striker's attempt at shooting him. In Loo Loo Land he's perfectly capable of defending himself (even when he hired Blitz for protection!), why is he complaining that an imp, the lowest class on the hierarchy isn't protecting one of the highest?

In that scene Stolas accuses Blitz of not understanding "how much he cared about him", but has he forgotten that he was the one who couldn't stand up not to Asmodeous nor to the accusations of him "sleeping with an imp"?

This reaction shows the actual opposite of what he's telling Blitz he did.

I read that Stolas is supposedly also not aware of ~things~ but why is the narrative conveniently forgetting about his faults as well?

Onto the "apology tour" subject: I fail to understand why Blitz owes Stolas an apology. The only time he was shitty to him was actually in Ozzie's when he asked him on a (fake) date without telling him all the story. But they didn't talk about that not during that episode neither during Apology Tour. Is it because doing this would have forced the narrative to acknowledge that also Stolas was at fault during that episode?

All the other times they interacted (on and off screen, their chats don't really mean anything since it seems that's the way Blitz writes in general), Blitz was being good to him (not that he had any other choice, due to their society ranks and their deal).

To me, this looks like bad writing. But if someone has a different take, I'm happy to hear their interpretation.

[inkskinned]

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?