#whatever planning can happen
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
24K notes
·
View notes
Text
Eddie x fem!reader (reader wears lingerie, no other descriptions of reader given except mentioning hitting that spot just right)
Contents: lingerie, both are a lil pervy tbh, humiliation, crying, praise kink, sub!Eddie, this is literally just horny ramblings
18+ only
It wasn't every day you came back to your house and your best friend had broken in. Maybe, every other week at best.
Usually, Eddie would be high eating your snacks (you were thinking about getting a lock for the cabinets). Or he would be watching whatever show you recorded and tease you about spoiling it (you threatened to use the VHS to beat him over the head and strangle him with the VHS ribbon if he did).
But, you had no clue Eddie was even in your house today. His van wasn't parked in your driveway when you came home. His shoes weren't in a haphazard pile at the front door. You had 0 clue he was there.
Not until you heard a thump coming from your bedroom. Which, your first thought went to the knickknacks you had that someone could be stealing (they wouldn't cause to a normal person it was junk but to you they were memories).
You grabbed a knife from the kitchen (you weren't gonna die without a fight, besides you learned a thing or two from the horror movies Eddie made you watch). You quietly pushed your bedroom door open and-
Shit.
Eddie was standing in your room in front of your mirror. Miles of pale skin just on display, scattered with contrasting dark tattoos he had. Nothing on, save for your lilac lingerie.
The palest purple lace bra, you can see from the back isn't even clipped correctly, missing the hook entirely. But the color is striking on Eddie. The lace thong cuts high on Eddie's ass, and you try not to gawk at the little black heart tattooed on his cheek. Eddie's scars seem softer amongst the lace.
How often did Eddie do this? Come over and put on your lingerie? Stand in front of the mirror and rub his fingers over his one hardened nipple. You couldn't see from where you were, but you knew his cock was hard. He'd be leaking all over your underwear, marking them.
Eddie lets out a little moan and it ignites a fire in your gut. You lick you lips as you watch Eddie, which maybe makes you a pervert but really it is your house and he is wearing your clothes so if anyone is-
Fuck why is it so hot?
"So-" you clear your throat. Eddie let's out a screech (that you are pretty sure ruined your eardrums) as he whirls around. He tries to cover himself with his arms, curls in on himself. And Holy cow he is hard.
He is big, so big, the tip just peeking out of the waistband of the panties. You can see the pearly translucent precum already dripping onto the underwear.
"I- fuck, I'm aha listen I can exp- i can explain!" Eddie fumbles over his words. You blink a few times tearing your eyes away from his massive dick (oh it would feel so good it would hit every spot just right).
Eddie's face is red, tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh Baby, no," you rush over, pausing when Eddie flinches. You gently put a hand out on Eddie's shoulder, drawing him into a hug, " It's- it's okay. Please don't cry." "Don't hate me." You gasp in shock, pulling back to look in his eyes," I could never!"
Eddie's eyes are wet, filled with unshed tears. His nose is turning a bit red, from embarrassment, shame, or sadness you can't tell. But his cheeks are such a pretty pink you think it'd look nice elsewhere on his pale skin.
Eddie hides his face with his hair, shuffling his feet a bit. "So..." you pause unsure how to ask it politely so you just go for it," I can see this is a kink thing...but like, what kind?"
Eddie shrugs," Wanted to feel pretty..." You frown," You are pretty Eddie." Eddie shakes his head and gestures to his abdomen," Not with these."
Eddie really should not be drawing your eyes any further south then his face. Cause your pulse kicks up and the fire inside you lights back up your spine. You can't help but notice his dick is still hard as a rock.
"You are too pretty." "Not really." "Yes!" Not-" You shove Eddie lightly, causing him to stumble back and fall onto the bed. Eddie's eyes widen in shock as he peers up at you.
"Don't talk about my best friend that way! You are too pretty. And handsome. Funny. So talented," You sigh and step forward, into Eddie's parted legs. Eddie leans up on his elbows and blinks rapidly at you. "You're so fucking pretty Baby." You murmur, hand reaching out lightly touching his thigh.
Eddie let's out a whine before looking startled at himself. You can't help but notice his dick twitch under the pale purple lace. "You like being called pretty?" You smirk. "Like when you call me Baby," Eddie replies softly.
You aren't sure who moves first, but suddenly your arms are wrapped around each other. Your lips meet Eddie's without hesitation. His are slightly chapped but still soft, molding perfectly against your own.
You run your hand down Eddie's neck, to the pale bra strap and snap it. He gasps and you take the chance, slipping your tongue into his mouth. He tastes of weed, mint gum, and just Eddie.
Eddie moans against you, hips bucking forward seeking friction. You pull back, gasping for air. Eddie let's out a whine," No, come back-" "I ain't going anywhere Baby."
Eddie's eyes flutter shut as he bites his lip. He hums as you kiss his jaw, lightly nipping at his pulse point. He shivers against you, hips bucking forward again. You suck lightly as you decide to give him some relief.
Your hand snakes down, grasping him firmly. You lightly squeeze through the lace, giving just enough friction as you move your hand.
"Look so good in my lingerie Baby, you should wear it more often." You murmur between kisses. Eddie nods absently, gasping and moaning beneath you. "Got a red pair that has some nice straps, you'd look so metal and so so pretty."
Eddie freezes, mouth falling open. His brow wrinkles slightly as he moans, pleasure overtaking him. His hips spasm, even his thighs twitch, as he comes. You can feel your underwear get soaked along with part of his stomach.
You stroke him through it, extending his pleasure until he whimpers and pushes at your hand. You pull back, smiling softly at his face. Eddie's eyes flutter open, darting down to your lips. "Kiss?" He asks quietly, unsure. You simply smile and kiss him again.
#So listen...I wrote this in a feverish state and then sat here and stared at a wall for about 5 minutes#I am sure I could add more contents but uh my brain is not working#Literally just sitting with this scenario and nodding to myself whispering “yea...yeah”#Eddie would look so good#He tries it on all innocent but then likes the way it looks and feels and he is like OH#He is like ya know what I can wear whatever the hell I want he could buy his own but he doesn't cause money#But also something about wearing yours gets his blood pumping#He really never expected to tell you anytime soon and was definitely not expecting you to come home#But as he lays in bed next to you he can't help but be glad#And plan your future wedding but hey what happens in his mind stays in his mind...#And if he writes it in a journal with hearts and your names mashed together so what!!#He is still all mean and metal even if he wants to be called baby and held and look pretty#I love him he is rotating in my brain rn just sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees spinning in the microwave#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson/reader#eddie munson#sub!eddie munson x reader#sub!eddie munson#sub!eddie munson x you#Jade is talking
149 notes
·
View notes
Note
IM SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR AU AND ART its soooo so so good. Im curious how does Sylvia and peepers interact in this au? Is it similiar to canon with peepers being upset that Sylvia and wander might have bad influence on mr meteor and Sylvia simply finding peepers super annoying or is there something diffrent going on? I love these little critters yes
WHY THANK YOU ANON!! and sylvia is VERRRRY protective over wander, so their first few interactions are very hostile, but as a sylvipeepers friendship truther i think they end up like they do in canon with a sort of Begrudging respect for one another, at least enough to work together for a common good.
sylvia is fully, painfully aware that what wander's doing isn't healthy for anybody involved, but try as she might, she can't sway him away from it, so she resolves to just keep him as safe as possible. when she realizes meteor and peepers aren't really a threat, it becomes less about protecting wander from those two, and more about trying to keep the peace between them, and sometimes even protecting them from whatever wander's new scheme is to integrate them.
since we're on the topic of sylvia and her relationships to everybody, i'll respond to this question from @temmtamm as well:
sylvia met wander sometime just before The Big Catastrophic Event, and i think that instead of being a bounty hunter, she'd be something more along the lines of a private eye (or something)? working alone, paid by some asshole who wants information on the wandering weirdo's whereabouts, and subsequently charmed by wander's whole Everything enough to quit her job and join his emo band.
i think when Big Catastrophic Event happens, it's very early into their friendship, like less than a year or so, and since they go through it together, they end up sticking together for a very long time, because nobody else would possibly Understand.
#ask#myart#sister sylvia#sir peepers#swap au#swap wander#wander over yonder#the term is technically not trauma bonding but it's the only thing i can come up with. like whatever happens they're tight not in spite of#but because they both endured the Thing#which i still need to think about more. i've been at work all week so i'm catching up on asks and plot and planning :)#if u sent me an ask i prommy i'll read it and most likely answer it! it could take me a sec to get to them though#also realizing that by putting sylvia's comb in a ponytail like this she looks like applejack. my secret plan. all roads lead to equestria
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
not a part 2, but here's a prequel to this sanuso comic I did last month !!! (takes place the night before ,, technically after the first three panels)
#I FORGOR TO MENTION THE FIRST ONE WAS AFTER W7#ok WHATEVER now u know#btw u can read these in any order! ur meant to read the og before the prequel but reading this one first doesnt ruin anything for the og#i think it's funnier to read the first one before this cuz then u read this one knowing what happens later and it's more angsty#LOLL IM MAKING NO SENSE RN SORRY!!!!! PROFESSIONAL YAPPER#op#one piece#sanuso#usosan#sanji#usopp#mintart#black leg sanji#water 7#god usopp#vinsmoke sanji#my art#comic#anygays sorry i took a month to get this out ermm i dont have any plans for a part 2 to the og so interpret it however u want#also sorry it's so CLUNKY i reallyyyy hope it's readable or maybe ive stared at it too long UGHH i hope it's not too boring lol#IDK IM NOT VERY GOOD WITH COMICS but i cant write either so this is the best i can do plus i NEEDED to get this idea out of my head
196 notes
·
View notes
Text
This post is coming from me in my space of panic and resignation that I have been in all day, but I just. I felt the need to say anything at all.
Please do what you can to survive. This week, for the next few years, maybe forever. Please do what you can to survive. We cannot give up, we have to remain unified and continue supporting each other. That is all we can do. I don’t know what the future will look like, but we should be prepared to handle anything.
If you are like me, a female, I wish you so much support. With the rights we are about to lose, please keep yourself safe. Look into birth control if you can, especially IUDs or implants, I’ve been doing that myself. Please only surround yourself with people that you know are trustworthy. I’ve seen lots of women saying they���re going to be joining the South Korean 4B movement (not dating, having sex with, marrying, or having children with men), and honestly I encourage it. Even if you’d like to be a mother, it’s not safe anymore. If something goes wrong with your wanted pregnancy, there’s an incredibly high likelihood that you will not be able to receive care. That is a horrific reality, but it’s something we need to be aware of. If you are in a safe, loving relationship I am incredibly happy for you and I wish you the best. If you are not, or if you are single, do whatever you can to get to a safe place, please.
To any of my LGBT+ followers, please remain safe. Please, please, please be careful, with what you say, with who you talk to, with how you present yourself. I can’t even imagine how terrifying things might become, but I don’t want any of you to be ashamed, to stop being who you are. Just please be safe in how you do so. I wish you all so much luck and love because you all deserve to be free to express yourselves, to live as who you are in freedom and not be so heavily judged and prosecuted and punished. Please have safe spaces, and safe people to surround yourself with if you can. This blog will ALWAYS be a safe and inclusive space for you. I see you, and I accept you, and I support you so much. Please take care.
My support goes out to everyone who is about to be effected, because it is about to be more than just women and LGBT+ members, but I wanted to touch on those two specifically because they are the ones closest to me. I love you all. I’m sorry that this is how things turned out, but we need to keep going. We need to stay strong. We need to keep fighting and surviving because they want us to give in and we can’t do that. It might get incredibly tough next year, in the next four years or even longer, but you cannot give them the satisfaction. You have to outlive them, to prove to them that you can survive and that you deserve to be here.
I don’t particularly care if anyone thinks I’m being dramatic about this and I’m not trying to fearmonger. I don’t want anyone to be scared, but I can’t hide the fact that I’m scared. That I don’t know how things are going to look moving forward. But I care about each and every one of you.
Continue living with airport rules right now (doing whatever it takes to get to your destination of the future). He’s not in there yet. We are still safe right now. Please do what you can to prepare and to steel yourself for any outcome. But, for the next couple weeks, please just take care of yourselves. Indulge in activities you love, eat food you love, sleep as much as you can, take care of yourself as much as you can. You are not alone in this. Everyone that voted for her, we are all in this together. We cannot forget that.
I love you all so much. Please be safe. Know that you are not alone. Be strong, and be proud of what you fought for and who you are. You deserve to be here, and you deserve to be who you are.
#I didn’t know if I should say anything#but I felt guilty about acting like nothing happened#I’ve been a wreck all day#if you are at a safety risk for any of those policies please form a plan and do whatever you can to be safe#we are in the trenches together and we will survive together
119 notes
·
View notes
Text
HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢
#I'm also thinking about a platonic Pete & Myka soulmate AU and all the bickering that would come with it#Like Pete trying to feel out what the rules are for him dating someone if she and him are soulmates#and Myka's like 'I literally never want to talk about who you have sex with ever'#“But-” / “NOPE! Just do whatever you want Pete!”#And then later as joke (but delivered completely seriously) she says she wants full approval of any serious relationship he has#And she'll be the one planning the proposal for him#(No no no! That's not happening.)#Actually! She might just play matchmaker for him too because she's not sure she can trust his judgement#... or his ability to make a good first impression.#“You wanted my input remember?” / “Not like that!”#And then even LATER when she meets Amanda for the first time she's like 'Wow that's your ex-wife? Man you really fucked up there."#“Yeah thanks for that Myka. That's very helpful.”#“No chance of winning her back?”#“Winning back my ex-wife who's about to be remarried? No I think that ship has sailed.”#“Yeah.... My ex girlfriend is a hologram now so at least this is a step up from that.”#“I never agreed to HG being your girlfriend.”#“.... Yeah but I wanted to.”#“.... Okay this is getting way too gloomy for a wedding day. We need to stuff ourselves with cake.”#Warehouse 13#Myka Bering#Pete Lattimer#Helena Wells#Bering and Wells#my fic#(I guess accidentally in the tags lol)#(idk I'm tired man. My head is all over the place today :P)
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I 💥 HAVE 💥 BEEN 💥 💥 RESCUED 💥SAVEDB💥 SALVATIONED 💥 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU legal guardians for leaving for aroun ten minutes so i could reach out and BE SAVED!!! SMALPIN IS!!! NOT GOING TO DIE TODAY!!! /GEN!!! RHAHAHSHSHHSHDGSGXZGZGZ /VPOS
#now i can elaborate#long story short my legal guardians have ALWAYS BEEN MY BIGGEST HATERS IN EVERYTHING EVER!!! NUMBER ONE BIGGEST!!!#maybe theyre just jealous (theyre not)#okay but today marked the day when they found out that i was still secretly (hush hush (fifteak mention (im insane))) enjoying life#byyyyy DRAWING!!!#YEAH 💥 THEY HATE THE FACT THAT I DRAW 💥💥💥 VERY HEARTBREAKING EMOTIONAL AT 3AM#buuuuut they found out i was still drawing after the 97104000th time they told me to give up#so their epic plan was!!! to force me!!! to delete everything!!! ever!!! right in front of them!!! with zero free will because i dont deserv#so that wasnt going so good (i was shaking the entire time (im genuinely surprised i wasnt sobbing but at the same time the last time i#cried for anything ever was when the first few minutes of tpot 16 happened to me but other than that i never cry for anything ever))#WHATEVER mobing on#out OF LUCK!!! they left for ten-ish minutes to COOK (I LOVE COOKING its too bad they the legal guardians made it SUCK)#ermmmmr emmmerrmmm uh#found out how to back up everything to the secret (hush hu) work tablet that i have before it was too late#so when they came back it LOOKS like they won BUT THEY DIDNT!!!#anywhooooo im on my cell phone again#uhhhhhhhhhh only problem is that i dont have most of my ibis paint files anymore#......that MIGHT be a problem ermmmm................uhhhh......#i guess its a-okay ⁉️⁉️⁉️ at least i have anything at all 😋 we're silly#but anyways DID YOU ENJOY THE SMAL LORE!!! smal lore drop make sure to like and subscribe /silly#and for everyone's information im A-OKAY NOW!!! /gen /silly im home alone right now anyways FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!!!#jm not american i promise#smal's occasional talk show#WE ARE SO BALL
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, I think it's interesting that Liliana is exasperated with Imogen for thinking Predathos is going to cause loss of life (outside of the gods), but re: Imogen's dream in ep. 68, when Imogen feels the draw to Predathos, Liliana shouts to her, "Imogen! Please run! I won't let it have you!"
Does this mean that Predathos is not a threat (as far as Liliana has been told) to common folk, but is a threat to Ruidusborn? Does this have something to do with why they are amassing Ruidusborn in Kreviris, in preparation for the mass migration to Exandria? This adds some interesting implications to her statement to Imogen about having children to look after. Does she mean the other young Ruidusborn she has personally called to the moon, as she did Petrov? "It" (presumably Predathos) can't have Imogen, but it can have the other children she's "looking after"?
She also seems to believe that there's a future for her after releasing Predathos, so it feels like she means something more than just giving in to Predathos' influence. She's done that, after all (as far as we know), and she thinks that's not the end of the road. She's trying to convince Imogen that Predathos is not a threat, but at every turn she is also telling Imogen not to get any closer because Predathos is a threat. Which one the fuck is it, Liliana?? Imogen is right for perceiving Predathos/Ludinus' plans as a threat that will cause loss of life because that is how Liliana is treating it every time she pushes Imogen away. So what IS happening with the Ruidusborn recruits that has Liliana so determined Imogen not get close to it? What does it mean for "it" to "have [them]"? And why is Liliana unafraid for herself?
#there is something here and I haven't cracked it yet and it is killing me#like why are there all these young untrained ruidusborn here. that's sus. what are you doing with them. what's the plan here#and if the plan IS sacrificial in some capacity liliana's like#I can excuse manipulating children to be lambs to the slaughter of the eldritch god eater but i draw the line at my own child being there#WHICH IS#anyway yeah imagine me at my pepe silvia board trying to figure this out because that's how I feel#if any of what i've said is factually incorrect...idk whatever it happens whole thing's still sus#critical role#liliana temult
146 notes
·
View notes
Note
transfem loop + siffrin... you agree
i does agree.... i does in fact ... write a 7k word essay on the subject..... if you would like to perhaps click that link and read it if you were not already aware...... kisses u on the forehead......... sorry its that long but i had to cover all of my bases you know how it is with textual analysis when you're trying to draw a distinction between "headcanon" and "reading of the text" because those are different things.... to meeeeeeee.......
#a headcanon is when i say shit like loop has feetie pyjamas.#a reading of the text is when i go jesus christ dude im not sure someone that repressed has a particularly great grasp on their ideal Self#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#back on the homestuck tangent sometimes i think about how ppl picked up on the trans coding of roxy but were so set in their ways that#they thought it mustve been in the past and not a potential future... and then got real mad about a character being like.#complexly transmasc with a nuianced relationship to gender and not Easily Brushed Off Before The Narrative Begins Binary Trans Woman#one of the few times i think ive seen it be That way around? but i think it comes down to that whole. visible transgenderism happening#during the plot vs Invisible transgenderism that shh its okay you dont have to actually think about you can just say for brownie points#BUT MAYHAPS THAT IS MEAN. mayhaps that is mean. but i know what i saw back in the day.#sighs homestuck tangent over anyway uhhh yeah hold on isat fans ill throw you a new bone instead of getting off topic uhhh#isabeau seems like such a pragmatic planner to me i think theyve got contingency plans for whatever family they want to have in future#logical nerd with his transition timeline planned out and it includes a flowchart with an 'IF partner has X then i need Y to have a kid'#shrodingers op isabeau . guy with a gender spreadsheet and punnet squares. i think it being that methodical is funny#it also speaks to his occasional hesitance but thats too dark of a read i think im not going to stake anything serious on that#i have thoughts on isa but they're more obviously aligned with what he literally says with his words in-game. not really much worth#elaborating on besides poking at how his insecurities and appeasement to others might inform his literal decisions#i have maybe a few bullet points in my head for him. not 7k words
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
MARVEL RIVALS NEW SEASON DROPS ON MY BIRTHDAY LETS FUCKIGN GO????????
#marvel rivals#snap chats#DUDES I WIN I WIIIIN I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT HAPPENS THIS WEEK I WIN#//THROWS UP//#OUGH fiiiine since youre twisting my arm ill share my birthday plans !!!!!!#im gonna head into the city with my bro and check out this taiyaki place and then we'll prob swing by midtown comics or somn#then go home .... hell yeah ... maybe get birthday sushi from my fave All You Can Eat place YOU KNOW WHATS HEINOUS#wait i shared this story already. whatever im sharing it again YOU KNOW WHATS HEINOUS#I WENT THERE RECENTLY AND ONE OF THE WAITRESSES WAS LIKE 'oh you're back ! i recognize you :)'#lady HOW. the last time i was here was what. NOVEMBER ive only been there FOUR times. TWO with my brother#and ONE TIME BALD WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE#i guess not a lot of people go into an all-you-can-eat alone like three times and order the whole menu but i digress#i was very touched all things considered. like wdym someone remembered me... stop...#ANYWAYS my brother has a dentist appointment in the morning so i will be spending All Morning playing until he's free#then we'll go to the city prob by like what. 1???? whatever...#im so excited for the new rivals season i wanna know what the rest of the skins are so bad...#lest i speak any more on the wanda one SHE'S SO PRETTY IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK !!!! I'M GONNA BE SICK#anyways byyyee im gonna do more work so i can celebrate my bday with a peaceful mind !!!!
20 notes
·
View notes
Text







It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
29 notes
·
View notes
Note
Have you been assesed for adhd?
nope, though im pretty sure i got it ... or its something similar bc although also not officially diagnosed there is no way im not autistic OTL
the only things i have been .. 'diagnosed' with is anxiety and chronic depression, though both of which by a therapist that got arrested for fraud and harassment (hahaha .. ._.) and im not sure how much weight that can hold both bc of .. THAT and bc i honestly have no idea how much a therapist can do (its been many years since then too) and the only meds he ever offered me where like .. drugs ('herbs')
i have been thinking of asking our family doctor about it but im rather afraid of whatever process i gotta go through to get anything that might help since im sure its also not JUST adhd that causing all this (and ... im afraid it could impact how i am treated ... like if they know im autistic are they not gonna take me seriously anymore or stop me from making choices about myself.. welp theres the anxiety ndfjkgndfknvgfdk)
(and a new therapist is pretty impossible bc theres a really big problem of not enough therapists around ESPECIALLY where i live ... also fear bc of the previous one .. haha ._, )
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#personal#i am german so whatever process it is in america is not gonna be how it is here#.....also doesnt help that i nearly got put in a ... mental health .. facility (idk what its called in english) when i was younger#and uuh .. barely managed to make them not do it#one of the scariest moments in my life#mom made the plan with my oldest sister in secret and drove me off to the doctor .. idk if they told me just before and forced me to go#or literally on the parking lot of the doctor .. i think it was the latter#being out on a parking lot and being talked down to by my sister (who never tried to talk to me about anything mental health wise btw)#AND by the doctor .. i had to convince him to not do it .. literally so scary#-and mom about putting me in some facillity .. cant even describe it .. to me it was pure horror#im sure those facilities arent that bad or soemthing but i felt like they where trying to kick me out and into a prison#i do NOT do well anywhere that isnt home#AND doing the thing i haven been trying to make it clear makes everything a thousand times worse-#-talking about it behind my back and then just doing things without me gettign any say in it and then given no choice#its literally the worst thing you can do!!!!#sorry TMI perhaps but!!! many things have happened!! bad!!
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finally at the landsmeet, hope i can finally find out what makes ppl defend Loghain as a character, beyond what ive seen in cutscenes and Anora talking about him.
He’s interesting, i sort of get why he’s compelling story wise. But. Why do people defend him. I am curious.
Apologies if im just bringing up old fandom talking points im playing the game for the first time 🙏
#dragon age#dragon age origins#dao#dragon age loghain#loghain mac tir#like. i get why ppl like him dgmw#but ive seen ppl defend his actions and its like. dude#hes literally involved in tevinter slave trade?#he knew what he was doing at ostagar too like#his plan fucking sucked LMAO#regardless of how anyone feels about cailin#like yes he was a fool but at least he cared that there was a blight 💀#to an extent-#how can a man dead set on never letting orlais occupy fereldan again#to the point of EVERYTHING that happens in dao#but then be ok with working with slavers from tevinter#taking elves right out of their homes#like what’s actually the point? more men?#does he not understand that he isnt the underdog here?#what does he do during dao that is helping his citizens?#like seriously#he wants to be king well nothing hes doing is fucking helping#so i hope whatever makes ppl defend him (beyond just liking him as a character)#shows up here bc. oof.#sorry for being mean in tags#if you like him sorry 🙏 i hope this finally lets me learn more about him#actually im not sorry if you like him#liking him is fine. that said defending him? that im curious about#that said its a video game and im more than a decade late so. who knows
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Ladies and gentlemen" Sorry, do I seem gentle to you??
...
Oh really? Wanna test that?
*grabs your shirt collar to pull you down so i can give you a little kiss on the forehead*
#[redacted] rambles#am i allowed to blorboificate my own unrelated text posts#to late#bad boy jimmy. to me#i was considering if i actually wanted to post this but eh. whatever#this is what happens when i don't take my meds as soon as i get up#i have to make bad text posts so that if i ever become famous people can dreage them up and be like#“he didn't even ask for consent in this fictional post! canceled!”#you don't know„‚ maybe this fictional post is about a planned scene
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Idk why there's disbelief over Mark S/Helly in terms of motivation. Helly is just as capable of cruelty and selfishness as Helena. They are at the core of it, the same person with different memories/experiences. They can be two perspectives worthy of indulging their own dreams and desires and also be the same person. Narratively here especially, this isn't about morality, it's about human nature.
Helly was never cruel, sure, of course. Helly felt like she was the same as the other people in MDR. But Helly has something right now that she never even achieved as Helena. Someone who loves her. Someone who is choosing her. Helly is Winning over Helena here.
Jame Eagen wanders down just to be a freak and reinforces the reality of it. Helly is "More" than Helena, hasn't been worn down by the weight of experience and the world (and their cult and corporate bullshit). She still has, in some way, the innocence of youth and lack of experience with the world. She doesn't have the same fears and burdens or triggers as Helena in her conscious experience. She still has the ability to express her passions and outrage and defend herself. And to love and not feel sorry for it.
Severance gave Helena a chance to exist without the learned perspectives and burdens of the Eagens and she is able to be free with herself and her passions and desires-- whereas Helena was likely drained of any dreams for potential beyond a strictly guided future decades ago.
Of course Helly is feeling a rush of joy and satisfaction over Mark loving her. Mark choosing her. She tried to do the "right thing" by being logical with Mark. "I'm her." Even outside of Lumon, if they bring it all down, there's no hope for an Eagen and an ex-severed employee in reality. In the Real World they will never be together. Mark couldn't love Helena, how could anyone love an Eagen? (Poor Helly really with like, the enemy is within etc, but that's kinda the situation framed by Lumon for everyone by setting the stage with your Innie isn't human kinda rhetoric.) (This was also reinforced by Helena trying to get close to Mark to see if he still had feelings or chemistry with her and finding out they were not going to work outside Lumon.)
What if the equator is a building that could be a continent? Can be their whole world? They're choosing to live Now. Together in the present despite knowing that with their half lives, they could be brought to an end at any moment. It's very willful young love of them. And why wouldn't it be? This is their First Love. They haven't even been "alive" that long or have any memory of romance beyond their current infatuation. They don't know the world or it's places, and maybe that's okay, maybe they can exist in this space so long as they have love and the others.
It's completely human for Helly to accept Mark choosing her. To run to him just to see him for maybe the last time. It's human for Mark S to run to Helly. It's human for poor Gemma, who doesn't even know her fucking husband is severed, to be pounding on the door.
But this is their Final Day to Mark and Helly. Maybe the very end of their world. It's Judgement Day. Of course they'd have them holding hands and running back to the unknown to face the end together. To die together.
There is also zero fucking chance Mark Scout would risk his life and brain continuing reintegration once his wife is back. Mark Scout is going to choose his wife. Mark is choosing Love on both sides here.
All of it is reasonable.
#this is true for all the innie/outie combos like#lets not forget theyre the same person. yes they are also separate and deserve to be respected in their experiences#in my mind theres a post credit scene of Devon dragging Gemma to a car and them driving to a secure location bc I can't live otherwise#unfortunately the severed floor is literally their world. has been all this time. all they know by design.#anyway. selfishness is so normal to the human experience and motivation. survival. love. growth#im going to be thinking about platos cave allegory stuff now actually. ough#anyway its 3am and this is all i can thnnk about#personal q#severance spoilers#read more bc mindless brain ramble got long#i love all the characters in this show I hope hope hope Gemma gets a focus in S3#i actually loved the reintegration bits but narratively it would change some of the themes more at this time#theyd have had to make full reintegration the only way for mark to save gemma to make it happen#i need gemma to get so much therapy and care. lumon better not touch her ever again im really so serious#im going to be emotionally devastated ny Mark turning for months#good news fucking up cold harbor probably means that whatever fuckery Jame had planned for Helena/Helly is probably also fucked#could you imagine tho if we actually get fresh 'severed' personas for them if Lumon abducts them all to a compound somewhere#if s3 starts like Just Another Day in the Office I'll scream#I'm starting to wonder if this whole draining the tempers experiment thing#is about being able to provide them for others as a rejuvenation thing now actually aha just from writing this#i think using Helly Wasnt Cruel to try to contain her character is very infantilizing like theyre not children they're striped of knowledge#and of experience#this is all very is love stored in memory or the soul etc. do the people in the cave want to leave the cave when the shadows on the wall ar#the only representation of reality they've ever known#this show is just like art/literaty analysis of themes its so pretty and tragic and terrible#severance#sorry added for the mutuals who dont need to see my taste in tv on my supposed gaming blog#idk a lot of this season was also helly spreading the concept of division from outie persona stuff which makes sense for her#but then getting to look back at gemma and see maybe an outie as a person etc too like. ough
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i get critiquing plot holes and power differences/disadvantages and systemic things like sexism and sexualization/fetishization and racism in manga and stories in general, and i also understand loving your favorite character and wanting a certain outcome for them, but it's always a little bonkers to me that people geniuenly believe they could have come up with better endings or outcomes than the authors themselves... like i know people get attached to their favs and everything but manga and story telling is an artform and it's art that's created by a real life person who chooses to share their story with you there is no "better" ending that you could have come up with because you couldn't have come up with those characters in the first place! sure you think you could worm them around in better scenarios but even that is wishful thinking because you couldn't have, wouldn't have, and didn't come up with the world and scenes around them to navigate them in canon in the first place! idk i get wishful thinking and hopes and cracking jokes and fix-it fics and ships all that but sometimes i feel like people need to be humble and take a step back lol.... it's not your story and there's nothing for you to change, much less publicly scream about how the author fucked up just bc your favorite character didnt end up how you wanted them to.... and if u feel that strongly just like... do it in your own little online or irl community lol there's no need to scream on the internet every 3 months about how u think the mangaka who gave u the character u love so much is a piss poor artist
#delete later#like yeah i have my critiques of aot and jjk and naruto but i would never go so far as to say 'i could have written this better'#or 'x-mangaka didnt know what they were doing' bc they did..... and i couldnt have come up w those characters#there are things like ok based on events of other characters and rules about power scales#i can say i think sakura should have had ying/yang chakra abilities and i can say i think her story should have been as clear as others#but that's different than say lol sakura was NEVER meant to marry sasuke or catch up to him and naruto bc clearly she was 😭 bc she did#and even with jjk like sure ur attached to sukuna for whatever reason#but calling it disney kaisen and saying its cooked bc sukuna lost is crazy....#like of all the things to critique jjk on ur mad bc th evil guy the author planned to defeat was defeated........#and obvs im for making up little scenarios where everyone is happy and well and gets to do what i want thats what fics are#but thats so different than standing 10 toes down and saying gege is a trash author because nanami died#like OFC i want nanami back but the world is still spinning....#also im not saying that anyone is immune to like. the quality of their story declining bc that can 100% happen but its different#than trashing an artist just bc ur fav didnt get what u thought might happen to thenm#mie.txt
20 notes
·
View notes