#whatever im not gonna let it ruin my day

[shadyhouse]

hey 👉👈 if anyones able to throw a few bucks at me so i can get lunch at work the next few days itd be very much appreciated, I typically spend around $6-$10 a day thanks to my employee discount but im broker than broke rn and just embarrassed myself with a declined card 🙃 literally anything helps i just wanna be able to eat

vnm: tobias_leviathan

pp: paypal.me/bewearrr

[brielarsonreplyguy]

being forced to spend time with my mother tomorrow. i don’t want to go, and i already know that the day is NOT going to go well. i think i’m going to have a meltdown i can’t do this. currently googling how to not shoot my brains out when hanging out with abusive mother

UPDATE IT WAS CANCELLED

[our-inspire-verse]

Oh oh ohhhh loardy i think the emotions are crashing around in me like 2 plastic easter eggs filled with mung beans(tiktok hoes will unnasand) like they bouncin AROUND in here. I'm fucking fighting for my life rn

[b1mbodoll]

GABI HOW COULD YOU POST THAT ABOUT STEPBRO JAKE YOU KNOW stepbro enha are my weakness (the thought plagues my brain ALL the TIME!!!!) and i was thinking abt it (again.. no one is surprised.. and ur post + the no doubt mv only fuelled my craziness) so. i’m gonna need to set the scene w corporate worker intern blah!jake. followed in his dads footsteps because the money is good and he’s got a knack for the math, but that doesn’t mean the job itself isn’t GRUELLING :( so when his dad marries your mom and introduces him to the sweetest little stepsister it genuinely feels like he’s been given a gift. you’re eager for a big brother to gossip with ‘n jakey’s just so accommodating and lets you sit on his thigh and babble about whatever you want as long as your pjs are thin enough that he can distract himself guessing at the colour of your panties. he can’t help himself from resting his hands on your waist and subtly repositioning you, grinning when bouncing his thigh jus’ a little has you squirming and stuttering! he definitely makes pervy comments too :( calls you his wife ‘n jokes about marrying you because coming home to you lounging in his bedroom is something that gets his slacks all tight in the front! he asks for a kiss on the cheek goodbye if you’re up early enough ‘n expects one when he gets home — you brush it off as accidental when he turns his head too fast ‘n you catch his lips instead. buys you the prettiest things and insists on spoiling you with shopping sprees that have him ruining his expensive boxers at the thought that you’re being mistaken for a couple :( like This Jake fully embodies the mean bully you talked abt in your post whenever he’s had a tough day or something you do ruins his fantasy — he likes thinking about you as his pretty little wife, not his slutty stepsister prancing about in the clothes he paid for, dolling yourself up for some stupid date! (as always, this is crazy long but i think you might expect this from me now.. also referring to me as ur angel baby did irreparable damage to my sanity gabi ‘m blushing and twirling my hair rn i cant)

— lots of love ‘n kisses, ur fairy anon

warnings: stepcest + creampies + masturbation + handjob ment. + daddy kink + orgasm denial + dacryphilia + pregnancy ment

💌: m gna eat u omg r u kidding me im so obsessed with this, my brain is melting n im drooling 😵‍💫

calls you his wife … yeah this is so… ‘m moaning. he totally would, n he’d even get u a cute little ring to wear, fantasizing about how it’d catch the light when he gets you to stroke his cock 😵‍💫 jerks off n nearly moans your name while thinking abt his cum leaking from his tip onto your ring :( maybe you’d even be a good little wife n clean them off with your tongue

god forbid you take the ring off, though! your husband stepbrother is absolutely livid when he finds out that you’ve left it on your vanity rather than keep it on for your date; n yeah its actually Very hot seein ur big brother all mad, his button up shirt undone at the top, sleeves rolled up n displaying his thick n veiny forearms, and his hair is all messed up as he plays the role of an overprotective big brother (is it in ur head or is he sounding a bit possessive?) but all you can picture is tugging on it while he fucks you, n you’re beating yourself up mentally for even thinking about your brother in that way (little do you know he needs to put a baby in you)

something you do ruins his fantasy… r u joking me.. sure this can go with the lil date idea but.. jake getting genuinely upset when you call him your brother 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 would your brother tease your virgin cunt every time he had you in his lap? or press kisses to your neck while running his hands over your thighs, daring to pull at your sleep shorts n shallowly slide in your needy little pussy? either you’re even more of an airhead than he thought, or you enjoy watching him struggle to maintain his composure because there’s no way you dont know he wants you

he would absolutely love the two of you being mistaken for a couple n jakey’s quick to speak over your denial, a sweet smile on his face as he replies with a “thank you” to every person that calls you two a cute couple <333 when you ask abt it he just kisses your cheek (a bit too tenderly to be in a stepsibling kind of way) n says its just “too much of a hassle” to correct everyone… n even asks you if it’s such a bad thing for people to think he’s ur bf… are you embarrassed of him?

when jake finally gets you desperate enough for him, he has so much fucking fun making you say filthy things n has even more fun watching you squirm at his dirtytalk.

his pace is unbearable, you’re unable to do anything but take it as he batters your cervix with his fat cock n manipulates your body, pushing n pulling your legs to feel you even deeper. “d’you like havin’ my cock inside your tight cunt? does it feel good, princess?” he questions, voice thick with arousal.

but you’re too fucked out to reply, of course you like it but there’s no way you can form a coherent sentence as he keeps up the brutal pace, his tip hits your cervix with every thrust n he’s relentless. you’re so close, so fucking close and…

oh. it’s gone. your impending orgasm fades and it has your face crumpling, tears pouring down your cheeks at the lack of stimulation. why’d he stop? why why why why wh-

“i asked you a question, angel. y’gonna be a good girl n answer me?” a sniffle from you, and then: “jakey! please don’t stop, ‘m sorry ‘m sososo sorry please fuck me! pleaseplease it feels so fuckin’ good! love my brother’s cock so much-“ he cuts you off with a harsh slap to your tit, a sneer forming on his face at your surprised gasp.

“‘m not your fuckin’ brother. god,” he laughs humorlessly. “am i gonna have to fuck you until you get it through your dumb little head?”

jake pinches your nipple between his fingers n twists it enough to cause a jolt of pain to shoot through you n make your walls clench around him. “i’m not your brother,�� he thrusts into you harshly with each word. “‘n you’re not my fucking sister, got it?”

your bottom lip trembles, eyes screwed shut with pleasure as he resumes fucking you n jake’s brain is foggy, he can’t believe he’s ballsdeep in your pussy n before he knows it, he spills his deepest desire to you

“you’re my wife,” jake sighs, pressing his forehead to your own. “say it. say you’re my wife.. my sweet little wife, god look at you. takin’ my cock so well, ‘s like you were made for me”

it’s not long before your orgasm builds yet again, white hot pleasure consuming you n his words send you over the edge, pussy spasming n clamping down on his thick cock until you cream around him.

“‘m your wife, jakey! ‘m your wife, yourwife yourwife, fuck. fill me up, knock me up, jakey.” you wraps your arms around him to pull him close, pressing your lips to his ear before whispering, “‘m gonna make you a daddy.”

jake cums with a deep, guttural groan, his teeth clenched as thick, hot cum spurts from his cockhead and fills your womb to the brim. legs wrap around his waist to keep him inside you n it takes him a second to realize your lips are moving n you’re talking to him. “sorry princess, what’d you say…?”

you giggle n bat your lashes up at him, still wet from your tears, i said, “do you wanna go again?”

[starboye]

Kinktober Day 2

starring: rafe cameron x male reader

request: Rafe Cameron disciplining male reader because you were acting all bratty at one of his parties

warnings: smut, fingering, thigh riding, cursing, mentions of drugs, spanking, ass slapping, orgasm denial

authors note: im truly sorry if this story was horrible, i was tired and it was late so you can hate or skip this story if you want to. my apologies

it wasn't your fault you were being so bratty, i mean rafe wasn't paying attentions to you, to busy partying and doing drugs to even notice you, so when rafe saw you acting all stingy he tried to get you to do some drugs with him to but when you shook his hand away from you making him drop the substance on the ground "what the fuck y/n what's your problem" rafe yells looking at you with agitated by you ruining the mood.

"nothing" you blankly say folding your arms across your chest "well it must be somethin' if your knockin' my stuff to the floor and acting all cold" he retorts angrily "whatever rafe how about you go back to getting high" you clap back before getting up and walking to rafes room, him watching you as you walked up the stairs "everybody out" rafe mutters catching the attention of topper "what, why" topper questions "just everyone get the fuck out" rafe yells to the whole party goers.

the music going quiet and everyone making their way to the door, muttering about how lame it was that it was cancelled making rafes jaw tense up knowing that you ruined the vibe of it all, and rafe couldn't go the rest of the night knowing you were mad at him, not because he really cared but because it would ruin his mind trying to figure out what had your panties in a bunch.

once everyone was out of the house rafe stomped to his room where you layed in his bed on your phone "what the fuck was that little stunt you pulled" rafe angrily asks and you give a little scoff to his question "don't making me fucking come over there y/n or so god help me" rafe warns one more time but you still don't answer him, still to mad at him for not paying attention to you the whole night "m'kay don't say i didn't warn you" rafe pinches the bridge of his nose before he drags you toward him and sits you on his lap, your legs straddled across his legs quickly and forcefully.

rafe looks up at you with dark lidded eyes, him still having the buzz of the drugs in his system enough to not care about you questions of what he was doing "since you wanna ruin my night with being bitchy i'm gonna ruin your night to" he whispers in your ear while groping at your ass "now strip f'me" he orders and you reluctantly slowly peel off all your clothes in front of him like a good boy but rafe doesn't follow suit, he stays in his clothes he was wearing since the party began, making you even more embarrassed that you were the only vulnerable one here.

and it only worsened when you saw rafe pull his phone out and prop it up next to him with a full view of you now back on his lap "now ride my leg" rafe demands and when you hesitate rafe lands a hard smack to your ass, jolting you forward to grind your already leaky cock against his roughly padded khaki pants like the slut you were deep down and rafe let you know that with his demeaning words he whispered as you needily grinded on him "that's right good fuckin' slut" rafe laughs at you, some tears dropping from your eyes.

"oh no no no don't cry you brought this onto yourself" rafe coos with a sweet voice but ruder words while cupping your face and you were so close to cumming that you were letting out whimpers and whines "can i cum rafe... please i'll be so good for you" you beg dropping your head on his shoulder "you cum on these pants and ill fuck you till you cant breath" rafe threatens coldy sending shivers down your back "and plus i still have to teach you a long hard lesson" rafe adds.

he sinks his fingers into your mouth while slapping and grabbing your ass with the other, adding to the painful amount of pleasure you were getting even more, your movements becoming jitters across his leg to hold back from cumming, you looked like a desperate puppy at this point, begging for it's owner to love them while slobbering all over rafes fingers, he was getting harder by the second but this wasn't about him it was about teaching you a lesson, a very painful lesson.

he pulled his fingers from your mouth and brought them to your hole, slowly sinking them in as you moan his name out "mm mm keep grinding" he says now thrusting his fingers in and out of you ruthlessly while his other hand slaps your ass over and over, overstimulating you to the point of you just letting out whines and whimpers for him to let you cum but he doesn't budge, just continues fucking you with his fingers.

once he finally got his fill of your sweet needy noises he gave you the okay to let you cum, you looking up at him with tear soaked eyes with your hands gripping his shirt tightly "really" you ask brokenly "yeah go ahead" he coos and you spray your load all over his shirt, angering him a little bit but you've tuckered yourself out to much by now so he lets it pass and you fall onto the bed shivering and shaking.

taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft

[seokmn]

chapter 02.

wc: 0.5k words

“cmonnn!” you pushed chan’s shoulder slightly, “tell me just one more time!”

chan chuckled and shook his head, “why do you always want me to tell you how i started to like you? i’ve already told you that like 7 times!”

“is it a crime to want to hear over and over again how the love of your life fell in love with you, lee chan?”, the boy laughed out loud, “actually, it is a crime”

you stood up and turned around to walk away, but chan took you by the hand and looked up at you with a smile on his face, his laughter dying down. “where do you think youre going?”

“to the police station, im gonna tell the police officer to arrest me because apparently im committing a crime!”

“come here…” he chuckled softly while pulling you closer, letting a happy sigh when you sat down next to him. chan placed his arm around your shoulder, “okay, ill tell you once again”

your pouty face changed to a happy one almost immediately, you sat straight and looked at him with shiny eyes, waiting for him to start talking.

“when i first landed my eyes on you i’ve already found you attractive, but i actually got interest in you when i said to the class i wanted to become an idol and some people laughed at me, but you stood up for me and told me i had potential to be one. ever since that day, i wanted to become closer to you, you started to shine in my eyes…” he sighed, “but someone wanted to play hard to get”

“i wasnt playing hard to get! i simply didnt want you” you lied, already knowing that he knows its a lie. he always caught you staring at him, whispering to your friends’ ear while looking at him and blushing a little bit everytime he tried to flirt with you. “whatever you say, princess”

“but it was worth all the hard working, wasnt it?”

“of course it was! but thank god you dont know how to be nonchalant, because if you succeed in acting nonchalant about me trying to make you mine id have moved on”, chan’s words made you fake gasp, you placed your hand on your chest and pretended to be offended, “are you trying to say that im a terrible actress and that there was a possibility you wouldnt fight for me? your life would be miserable!”

��yours too, youd think every single about how ruined the chance of having something with me and then id have to deal with me literally everywhere once i had fame” he booped your nose and laughed at the sight of you pouting, “dont pout, it makes you look way too kissable”

you somehow pouted even more, making him laugh and give you a quick kiss on your pouty lips.

“come on, ill buy you an ice cream and take you home. its getting late, i dont want your parents to hate me”

“nah, they could never hate you”

“i know, but i love when you say that”

HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS

yn and chan date since their freshman year and are truly high school sweethearts, but will chan’s dream of becoming an idol get between their relationship?

masterlist — prev — next

taglist: @ivehypnosis @k1eev @ateez-atiny380 @noircheols @222brainrot @odxrilove @vixensss

[squinch-depraved]

Okok imagine you’re on the couch sitting on Schlatt’s lap while he fingers you (in the roughest way possible ofc) (I just love the size difference and power dynamics that come with lap sitting) and Ted walks in on you guys 😳 and at first he gets all flustered and embarrassed and tries to leave but Schlatt convinces him to sit down and watch you guys fuck (cuck Ted?) pls

(& ty for watching my TikTok LOL excited to see what it inspired)

- 🪐

i'm so sorry this took me fuckin forever to get to but i PROMISE you it's been on my mind in the meantime 🪐 anon you are a visionary and i love you i hope i did your beautiful idea justice

not proofread/beta read !!!

you're staying with ted and schlatt in an air bnb on a trip (neither wanted to be away from you)

it's just you and schlatt watching a movie, ted's off doing some shit

you end up in his lap midway through the movie

he pulled you on top of him, tried to be gentle with it but he had been waiting to get you alone all day and was really eager

was more of a yank

whatever, soon you're settled and comfy, and you try to focus back on the movie

but schlatt's slipping your shorts off, and then stuffing your panties in his pocket (GOD you can't tell me he doesn't steal them any chance he gets)

you just know he gets off with them in his hand, wrapped around his cock (and he feels so guilty afterwards)

sorry, i know, not what we're here for

and then he's spreading your legs wide open on his lap, dragging a finger up through your slick

you're squirming but he wraps his free arm around your waist and traps you

"you're not goin' nowhere, toots."

see above, he tried to be gentle, he really did

but he couldn't help himself, just shoving a finger inside you

and then two

and then three

in and out, curling them, working you perfectly

you're squealing, whorish fucking noises spilling from your perfect lips

that's what poor teddy hears when he walks in

and what he sees?

jesus

his best friend has the girl they're both whipped for splayed open, on display, for him to see

he has a clear visual of schlatt's thick fingers slamming into your pussy

ted's frozen, admiring how your hole stretches every time he withdraws his digits

until schlatt sees him and calls out to him

you look up from your position of arching your back and tilting your head against his chest to meet ted's eyes

and he starts to back out, face redder than you've ever seen it

but schlatt waves him into the room, inviting him to sit and watch as he plays with his toy

he sits in a recliner across the room, not relaxing, more perched on the edge of it

schlatt just resumes finger fucking you, watching the movie as he abuses your cunt

you're staring at ted, eyes rolling back occasionally

you were gonna play up the expressions for him, really give him a show, but you honestly didn't need to, schlatt was going that hard

he made you squirt several times, every time you whined about the couch being ruined and every time schlatt said he'd "buy a whole damn new one"

once the movie was over, he pulls his cock out and easily slots you on top of it

ted groans softly at the noise and sight of you sinking onto his length

he's trying so hard not to finish in his pants; he so desperately wants to be able to get off to this visual once he's alone

"bounce for 'im, doll."

and you do

keeping your eyes locked on ted's the whole time, you bounce, roll your hips, all your usual tricks

really making sure he'll remember this

and he will, but most of all?

he'll remember the sound you made when schlatt locked an arm around your throat and pressed you flush against him

and the wet noises when he started mercilessly fucking up into you were priceless, as well

you let out a few mangled shrieks as he choked you, clenching around him deep inside you

"you're gonna make me cum like that," schlatt said, increasing his pace

and you had no choice but to sit there and take it!

he filled you up sooo good

looked ted in the eyes when he did it, too

who just kept staring, hoping that he'd let him have a turn

but no, schlatt decided he just wanted his cum in your pussy for the night, teddy would have to wait

he did share you the next day though

can't keep you all to himself :)

[patchiko]

Arkham Knight Relationship HCS !! <3

( light nsfw, mostly SFW tho!! )

literally my wife ( i made this pic idc abt creds i just wanna talk abt it)

SFW !! <3

dying on this hill when i say basically any red hood would be soo yummy with a civilian or just someone who is extremely balanced.

im a red hood needs more fucking normalcy in his life TRUTHER.

relationship starts off slow, romantic and platonic, you need to be patient with him long enough for him to get over his mental dilemmas to feel ANY-TYPE of way towards you.

more then like 6 months lets be real yall

his way of bonding is quality time. ill die on this hill, especially at the start of the relationship. Nothing huge maybe just spending a couple extra minutes around you before leaving.

next is probably gift giving, esp with early relations, probably just gonna order you food or put fifty bucks on your countertop. you dont even notice until you realize you find a fifty around the last place he was standing. expect deliveries from R.H whenever he feels bad for something.

doesn't like being around for too long, feels like he's messing up something. ruining your day by keeping you up late (he was there for fifteen minutes), ruining your mood, (there was an awkward silence for like 30 seconds.)

not a overly conscious thought process though, he feels physically he isn’t supposed to be there. for whatever subconscious thing he picked up on, a awkward silence, or hes been there 15 minutes too long or something

well sometimes he'll mentally beat himself up.

he spirals a lot, needs someone to pull him out of that.

i think when he needs to be grounded, its not just comfort its making him feel alive in the present moment. he's never gonna truly forget about his traumas but maybe for just an hour or two; running around an arcade, walking around the city. just making him feel normal, yeah you BAGGED his ass quick.

he needs someone patient, really patient, someone whos very attentive and empathetic. (but not a complete push- over def needs someone to set him in line still)

i think if you move to quickly, he'll get super snappy and ghosting you,, ong put ur hands on him too early and he's left hooking you.

yeah you're waking up and the first thing your hearing is "Its been 12 years..."

second thing you hear is "you've been in a coma for.. 12 years."

third thing you're hearing is, " we think a bus hit you...”

obviously not touchy, even when he is settling down. hes just not sure how to .. or where to .. or why he wants too.

please his mental gymnastics get so crazy, just sit down with him and put on some silly ass movie so he stops

when he’s settled he cant pry himself off you though.

a lot of his expressions can definitely be told by his body language, naturally hes tense but theres certain habits he has when he's maybe thinking too much, or fustrated/irritated.

but he does all of the same for you, comfort, love, as much as he can he tries

Very attentive, has a mental list of 'shit you do when somethings wrong' or 'shit you like.'

doesn't consciously make any of these mental list, he just knows.

"didnt they say they liked this?" He pauses "shit ill just leave it at their window."

so he's like canonically smart as shit.

you have too much work from your boss or professor? hand it over its done in less then two hours.

literally buys you groceries and pays your bills (fucking lover boy.)

arkham knight finally figuring out how to ask for a hug (hes been dead silent for 5 minutes) (link) <— insta reel

HES A CHEM/HISTORY NERD FOR SURE

NSFW !! <3

probably- A FUCKING VIRGIN !! HES A NERD !! GETS AWKARD AS SHIT. WITH RAGING COMMITMENT AND TRUST ISSUES !! (will still die4you tho)

AGAIN, not in a "my soft squishe potato always been scared of sex" way but in a ‘oh my god hes so unsocialized’ way.

yall ever see a big ass dog just..standing.. literally him (hes dissociating)

genuinely dont believe that when he was arkham/training to be, he was sexually or romantically involved with anyone. the last thing that was on his mind was actually pursuing a sexual or romantic relationship.

along with his trauma, he just wasn’t comfortable with any of that.

ghosted so many people..

couldn’t flirt for more then five minutes, just stopped feeling it or got uncomfortable .

I AM ANTI ARKHAM KNIGHT BEING A SEX GOD

not that he’s horribly awkward, but he’s noticeably a bit more quiet for first times.

ofc this man has watched porn n’ shit but hes smart enough to know thats not what its really like.

he’ll still figure it, what makes you tic, what you love, what makes you most comfortable.

kinda shitty at dirty talk, just makes him buffer.

he gets better at it tho, too damn good

gets so snarky and confident about it too uuhgrr

late relationships hes smirking and chatting your ears off cause you know hes gettin you turnt.

he has a love-hate relationship with his scars. 95% they remind him of his past, but 5% hes alright with them because they’ve shown what hes been through.

deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, he knows hes fine as fuck. TRUST YALL.

again, super observant and attentive. really pays attention to what you enjoy.

I genuinely don’t believe hes into super hardcore/painful kinks or anything.

Sex for him is definitely a way of showing his trust and intimacy with someone!! Let him show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to make you feel good! Do the same to him !!

mmm tell him how good hes doing and hes a absolute mess!!

praise him! PRAISE HIM *im yelling from the hospital bed im strapped down on*

wouldn’t let you ride for awhile, but once he’s comfortable with it ,, he’s actually obsessed.

cant see him bottoming , just wouldn’t be comfortable with it

my brain is getting messy so im stopping here! feedback and comments would be cool if you wanna drop some!

[julietsf1]

All is Fair in Love and Pastries - Kenan Yıldız x Reader

summary: She came to Munich for romance and got ghosted instead. Now, all she has left is a non-refundable ticket, a wounded ego, and an ongoing feud with a man who stole her last pretzel. (8k words)

content: serendipity, slight enemies-to-lovers, unexpected chemistry, teasing, fluff :)

AN: getting that real life inspo lmao I'm actually still going to Munich this weekend as my ticket is non refundable :') bet im gonna go shopping tho!! have a lovely day darlings <3

_______________________________________

I stared at my phone for the hundredth time that day, hoping—no, praying—for a notification. A single message. A carrier pigeon, even. Anything to prove that I hadn’t just imagined the last 5 months of my relationship.

Nothing.

Just the same empty screen, as quiet and indifferent as the man who swore he loved me five days ago.

I refreshed our chat anyway, like that would suddenly make a difference. Maybe my WiFi was acting up. Maybe he had texted, and the message was just... stuck in the digital abyss, waiting to be delivered.

Nope. Still nothing.

I sighed dramatically and flopped back onto my bed, holding my phone above me like it might suddenly start explaining itself.

It had been four days since my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend? Current ghost?—had last texted me. Four whole days. No explanation, no excuse, not even the cowardice of a half-assed breakup text.

Just... radio silence.

Besides the instagram stories of his friends, where he was seemingly having the time of his life clubbing and going to basketball matches.

The man who, less than a week ago, had been telling me he missed me so much, that he couldn’t wait to see me, had apparently decided I no longer existed.

Cool. Very cool.

I unlocked my phone and stared at my last message to him. A simple:

"What time are you picking me up from the airport <3"

Sent. Read. Ignored.

I clenched my jaw and rolled onto my stomach, glaring at my laptop screen where my non-refundable plane ticket sat in my email inbox. A round-trip flight from Nice to Munich, purchased in what I now recognized as the stupidest burst of romantic optimism I’d ever had. 

What was I supposed to do now? Cancel? Waste the money and sit at home, marinating in my own heartbreak like some tragic rom-com protagonist?

Absolutely not.

He may have ghosted me, but I’d be damned if I let some spineless man ruin my weekend. If nothing else, I was going to Munich. I had been there quite often for him anyway; I can figure out town for myself. And if nothing else, I was going to eat overpriced pastries, wander through fancy boutiques, and romanticize the hell out of my heartbreak.

So that’s exactly what I did.

I packed my bags and boarded the plane with all the enthusiasm of someone heading to their own public execution.

…

Munich was cold, and I was hungry—a dangerous combination for my already fragile mood.

I had spent the last hour walking through Englischer Garten, trying to shake off the lingering irritation of being ghosted. Fresh air was supposed to be good for you, right? It was supposed to clear your head, restore balance, whatever.

Did it work?

Not even a little.

I even stopped by the Eisbachwelle, where wetsuit-clad lunatics flung themselves into freezing water, attempting to surf a man-made wave in the middle of the city. I lingered for a while, waiting for the sight of someone wiping out spectacularly to cheer me up. A little Schadenfreude, as the Germans call it.

But even that failed me.

A guy faceplanted so hard that his board smacked him in the ribs, and all I felt was secondhand embarrassment. Not a single drop of joy.

Which meant I had officially lost my edge.

I needed a reset. Something warm, salty, buttery, preferably in the shape of a large pretzel.

So when I spotted a small bakery stand in Marienplatz, I knew what had to be done.

There it was. The last Brezn.

Golden brown, perfectly crisp on the outside, still steaming slightly. It looked like a hug in food form. The kind of thing that could turn your entire day around, that could restore faith in humanity, that could—

A hand shot out at the same time as mine.

Before I could react, the pretzel thief had already handed over his cash, nodding a polite danke to the vendor as if he hadn't just robbed me blind in broad daylight.

I stood there, hand still hovering mid-air, fingers closing around absolutely nothing.

The guy—the criminal in question—didn’t even hesitate. He just took a bite, slow and deliberate, as if he were performing for a food commercial.

I should have just let it go. But I was cold, hungry, and, quite frankly, on the verge of snapping.

“Excuse me?” I said, my voice teetering dangerously close to customer service polite.

He finally turned toward me, mid-chew, like he hadn’t just committed culinary theft.

Up close, he was—unfortunately—pretty easy to look at. Tall, broad-shouldered, with sharp features softened only slightly by a full head of thick, dark blonde hair. The kind of guy who looked like he belonged in an expensive ad campaign, modeling watches he probably didn't even know how to read.

His gaze flicked down at me, scanning me with the casual arrogance of a man who had never had to fight for the last anything in his life.

“Problem?”

I crossed my arms. “You just stole my Brezn.”

He glanced down at it. Then, without even a hint of remorse, ripped off another piece and tossed it into his mouth.

“Oh?” he said, chewing. “Didn’t see your name on it.”

I let out a slow breath through my nose. “You cut the line.”

He shrugged. “I don’t wait in lines.”

I squinted at him. “Oh, wow. That must be so difficult for you.”

“It is,” he replied, entirely serious, before popping another bite into his mouth.

I stared at him. He stared back.

This was a test from the universe.

“I think I deserve it more,” he said finally, still looking alarmingly relaxed about this whole thing.

“Oh yeah?” I deadpanned. “And why’s that?”

He licked a bit of salt off his thumb—unnecessarily slowly, might I add—before replying, “I’m barely ever home. Haven’t had one of these in months.”

I exhaled sharply, glancing at the vendor like maybe—just maybe—there was another pretzel hiding in a secret stash somewhere. But no. This was it.

This stranger had not only taken the last Brezn but was now making a compelling case as to why he deserved it more.

I had two choices:

1.     Accept defeat like a normal, functioning adult.

2.     Die on this hill.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling particularly mature today.

“Well,” I said, shifting my weight onto one leg. “I actually had a really rough week. So if we’re doing the who deserves it more competition, I’m pretty sure I win.”

He raised an eyebrow, looking far too amused for someone who had just ruined my day. “Oh yeah? What happened?”

I opened my mouth, then hesitated.

 “Let’s just say I’ve had a series of unfortunate events that have led me here, to this exact moment, where all I wanted—all I needed—was a Brezn.” I gestured toward the offending baked good, still clutched in his ridiculously nice hands. “And yet, here we are.”

He considered that for a moment, like he was actually entertaining the idea of handing it over.

Then, after a beat, he simply swallowed, dusted the salt from his fingers, and said, “Still not giving it to you.”

I blinked. “You’re actually the worst.”

“Probably,” he agreed, unbothered.

And then—because apparently, this interaction wasn’t infuriating enough—he shot me a quick smirk, turned on his heel, and walked away.

With my pretzel.

I watched his retreating figure, the back of his stupidly nice jacket, the annoyingly confident way he walked, and considered my life choices.

Maybe I should have just tripped him.

…

By the time I reached Jamal’s apartment, I had mostly let go of the pretzel theft.

Mostly.

Fine, not at all, but I was telling myself that because I refused to let some random bread bandit ruin my entire weekend.

I rang the doorbell, and within seconds, the door swung open to reveal Jamal Musiala—failed Raya date turned best mate.

We had met on the app ages ago, but within the first five minutes of real-life conversation, it was abundantly clear that we were better off as friends. No awkward tension, no will-they-won’t-they—just immediate sibling energy.

And when he heard about my spectacular disaster, he didn’t even hesitate.

"Cancel the hotel. My guest room is free. You’re staying with me."

Which was how I ended up here, standing in his doorway while he pulled me into a quick hug.

"Yo! Finally made it," he said, immediately pulling me into a hug. 

"Survived another international flight," I sighed, stepping inside and already feeling the tension in my shoulders ease.

He grabbed my bag, tossing it near the door like it was his personal mission to make sure I did absolutely nothing for myself this weekend. "Long day?"

"You have no idea," I muttered, collapsing onto the couch. "Between the baby on the flight and some guy testing my patience on the streets of Munich, I was one bad moment away from throwing hands."

Jamal raised an eyebrow, already amused. "Define ‘testing your patience.’"

I waved a hand. "Eh, some random dickhead cut in front of me at a bakery. Took the last Brezn. Very tragic. Anyway, I’m over it now."

Jamal snorted. "You don’t sound over it."

"I’ve grown as a person," I said solemnly, grabbing the tea he handed me. "Anyway, enough about me. What’s new? Got any hot gossip?"

"Nothing as dramatic as your bread wars," he teased, settling into the chair across from me. "But I’m still reeling over the fact that you thought long-distance dating was a good idea."

I sighed, taking a long sip of my tea. "Alright, go on. Get it out of your system."

He smirked. "No, no, I just think it’s inspiring. You—who has approximately zero patience for time-wasters—thought dating someone five countries away was a solid plan."

I gave him a look. "It made sense at the time!"

Jamal raised an eyebrow. "Did it?"

I groaned. "Yes! In theory, long-distance means built-in space. No pressure to see each other all the time, no risk of losing yourself in the relationship. You still get your own life. It’s all very mature, very evolved."

"Ah yes," he nodded seriously, "a relationship with absolutely no quality time. Revolutionary."

I ignored him. "It worked perfectly for me."

Jamal leaned forward, grinning. "I think you’re saying he just didn’t make you fall head over heels properly."

"I’m saying it was a noble experiment that failed," I corrected.

"You rationalize love like it’s a business deal," he said, shaking his head. "I bet you made a whole pros and cons list before agreeing to this relationship."

I pursed my lips.

Jamal’s eyes widened. "Oh my God. You did."

"It was a very casual list," I mumbled into my mug.

He threw his head back, cackling. "You’re mental."

I scowled. "Some of us like to make informed decisions, Jamal."

"And some of us," he grinned, "realize that love isn’t an investment portfolio. It just happens."

I squinted at him. "That sounds like something people say when they want me to shut up."

"That too," he admitted, still smirking. "Anyway, I invited a friend over for FIFA later—hope you don’t mind."

I waved a hand lazily. "No problem. I’m gonna take a long shower first anyway."

…

The shower did its job. By the time I stepped out, warm and wrapped in one of Jamal’s oversized hoodies, I felt lighter. Like maybe this weekend wasn’t a complete disaster. Maybe I could just enjoy being in Munich, enjoy my friend’s company, and ignore the nagging feeling that I had flown here for absolutely no reason.

Then I stepped into the living room.

And froze.

Because sitting on Jamal’s couch, controller in hand, was none other than the Brezn thief himself.

I stopped so abruptly I nearly slid on the hardwood floor.

He looked up at me mid-game, one hand casually flicking the joystick, the other resting against the back of the couch like he had all the time in the world. His dark blond waves were slightly damp, like he’d just showered too, and he was wearing a black long-sleeve shirt that looked unfairly good on him.

For a split second, I thought maybe the universe was punishing me. That this was some kind of elaborate karmic joke.

Then he grinned, slow and lazy.

“Oh,” he said, far too casually for my liking. “It’s you again.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Are you following me?”

Jamal—completely oblivious to the mounting tension in the room—paused the game and looked between us. “Wait. You two already know each other?”

The man—who I now knew was not just some random bakery menace but an actual acquaintance of Jamal’s—stretched his arms out in front of him like he was completely at ease, shooting me a look that was somewhere between amused and smug.

“We met earlier,” he said, still grinning like he found this whole thing hilarious. “Had a little disagreement over a pretzel.”

I crossed my arms. “I wouldn’t call it a disagreement. More like an act of blatant food theft.”

Jamal let out a loud laugh. “Oh my God. You’re the Brezn guy?”

I turned to him, betrayed. “You’re taking his side?”

“Oh, I’m on no one’s side,” Jamal said, still grinning. “I just can’t believe you’ve been ranting about this all evening, and it turns out it was Kenan.”

Kenan.

I turned back to him, my brain finally catching up. Kenan Yıldız. The name suddenly clicked into place. Juventus player. Young star. He had been on all the football news headlines lately, yet I hadn’t recognized him when we’d been too busy arguing over baked goods.

Kenan leaned back against the couch, clearly enjoying every second of this.

“If it helps,” he said, “I did think about giving it to you.”

I scoffed. “Wow. So generous.”

“Didn’t, though,” he added, eyes gleaming.

I inhaled sharply, mentally weighing the pros and cons of throwing a pillow at his head.

Jamal, meanwhile, was still thoroughly entertained. “Alright, alright. Before you two start a war in my living room, sit down. We’re playing FIFA.”

I dropped onto the couch, watching as he passed a controller to Kenan. “Oh, fantastic. I get to witness high-quality gameplay firsthand.”

Kenan barely glanced at me as he selected his team. “That sounded sarcastic.”

I took a sip of my drink. “That’s because it was.”

Jamal grinned. “You talk like you’ve seen him play before.”

I gestured toward the screen. "The evidence is right there. You haven’t even started playing, and I can already see the classic overconfidence."

Jamal burst out laughing. “Oh, this is great. I love this."

Kenan tilted his head slightly. “You think I’m bad at FIFA?”

I leaned back, stretching my legs out. “I think you think you’re good, which is way worse.”

Jamal wheezed. “Mate, she’s calling you a fraud.”

Kenan finally smirked, something sharper in his expression now. “Alright then. Play me.”

I scoffed. “Why would I waste my time proving something I already know?”

Kenan handed me a controller. “Because I think you’re all talk.”

Jamal let out a low whistle. “Damn. You gonna let him say that?”

I squinted at Kenan, assessing. He looked too confident, too pleased with himself, like he had already decided I was going to lose.

Big mistake.

I stretched my arms, feigning boredom. "Fine. But when I win, you’re buying me a Brezn."

His grin widened. “Deal.”

Jamal leaned forward, rubbing his hands together. “Alright, this is officially the most invested I’ve ever been in FIFA.” 

The match started, and I quickly realized three things:

1.     Kenan was as smug as humanly possible.

2.     I was not as bad as he expected.

3.     I was still losing.

“You sure you’ve played this before?” he teased, passing circles around my defense.

I gritted my teeth. “Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Shut up.”

And then—he scored.

Jamal burst out laughing as I dramatically collapsed against the couch. “I’m going to throw this controller at your head.”

Kenan grinned. “You’re just mad because you’re losing.”

I exhaled, resetting. “Alright. I’m locked in now.”

Kenan smirked. “Oh? You weren’t trying before?”

“I was warming up.”

And then—I started to figure him out.

Kenan was good, but he was also comfortable. He played like someone who expected to win—which meant he wasn’t ready for surprises.

So I gave him one.

Instead of playing safe, I started forcing mistakes. Instead of predictable attacks, I threw reckless passes forward, sprinting onto them with zero hesitation.

And then—somehow, some way—I scored.

The room went silent.

Jamal’s eyes widened. “NO WAY.”

I shot up from the couch, genuinely thrilled, throwing my arms in the air like I had just won the World Cup. “LET’S GO!”

Kenan blinked at the screen, processing. “...Alright. That was decent.”

“DECENT?” I laughed. “That was incredible. That was a masterpiece. Someone call FIFA, that was the best goal of the year.”

Jamal was dying, doubled over in laughter. “She’s actually celebrating like she won the league.”

Kenan shook his head, but he didn’t say anything.

Jamal leaned toward him. “You good, man? I think she actually rattled you.”

Kenan exhaled sharply, rolling his shoulders. “One goal means nothing.”

I grinned. “You sound stressed.”

“I’m not,” he said flatly.

“You look stressed.”

Kenan didn’t even respond. He just restarted the match, jaw set, eyes focused.

And that’s when I realized—he actually cared.

I had gotten to him.

And that fact alone made my entire weekend.

The rest of the game was pure chaos. I spent the entire match talking, commentating my every move like I was a sports announcer, making Jamal cry with laughter while Kenan did his best to block me out.

And then—somehow, against all odds—I scored again.

Jamal fell to the floor. “SHE DID IT AGAIN.”

I jumped up, clapping my hands together, absolutely beaming. “Someone get the cameras! Someone call ESPN!”

Kenan exhaled, dragging a hand down his face.

Jamal cackled. “I think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen her.”

Kenan looked at me then, properly looked, and for a split second, there was something undeniably fond in his gaze.

He didn’t say anything, just shook his head with a tiny, reluctant smile.

I flopped back down, grinning wildly. “Kenan, should I go pro?”

“You should retire while you’re ahead,” he muttered.

I smirked. “So you admit I’m ahead.”

Kenan sighed, picking up his drink. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”

Jamal wheezed. “Nah, man, you lost. Accept it.”

I stood up, stretching lazily. “I believe you owe me a Brezn, Yıldız.”

With a giggle, I wandered into the kitchen, grabbing a coke from the fridge, still riding the high of my victory.

Behind me, I heard Jamal got up, grabbing his phone. “Food’s almost here—I’ll go down and get it.”

The appartment was quiet now besides the sound of a controller being set down. A pause.

Then, Kenan’s voice, low and even.

“She’s unbearable.”

I grabbed a coke and turned around, only to find him already walking into the kitchen.

He moved with the kind of easy confidence that was impossible to ignore, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt slightly, like he had all the time in the world. I expected him to go for a drink himself, but he just leaned against the counter, watching me.

I raised an eyebrow, taking a slow sip. “Let me guess. You came in here to process your humiliating loss in private?”

His lips twitched. “I came in here to see if you’d finally crack and admit you got lucky.”

I scoffed, setting my drink down with dramatic emphasis. “Lucky? Oh, that’s cute. You think this was luck.”

Kenan tilted his head slightly, like he was really considering it. “Mmm. Either that, or you tricked me into underestimating you.”

I gasped, pressing a hand to my chest. “Are you suggesting I played mind games with you?”

His eyes glinted with something just shy of admiration. “I wouldn’t put it past you.”

I smirked. “You’re right. I totally did. And I’d do it again.”

Kenan’s lips curled at the edges, like he wasn’t going to give me the satisfaction of admitting anything. But his gaze flickered—just for a second—down to my mouth before locking back onto my eyes.

There was a beat of silence, not awkward but charged.

His voice was lower when he spoke again. “I’ll get you back for that.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Sure you will.”

Before he could respond, Jamal’s voice rang out from the hallway. “Food’s here!”

Kenan stepped back, running a hand through his hair before nodding toward the door. “Come on, winner. Let’s eat.”

I followed, my smirk still lingering.

For the first time all weekend, I felt genuinely good.

…

It had gotten late the night before. Later than expected.

Jamal had ordered food, we’d all ended up sitting around, eating, talking, and somehow, between full stomachs and heavy eyelids, Kenan had ended up crashing on the couch. It wasn’t planned—just one of those things that happened when the night stretched longer than you thought it would.

I had barely registered it at the time, already halfway asleep in Jamal’s guest room, but when I woke up the next morning and wandered into the living room, there he was.

Kenan Yıldız. In all his six-foot-something, professional athlete, half-asleep glory.

Sprawled out on the couch, one arm draped over his eyes, hair a mess of lazy curls, mouth slightly parted like he hadn’t fully re-entered consciousness yet.

I stared for a second too long, mostly because I wasn’t used to seeing him like this—soft around the edges, not smirking or arguing with me—before clearing my throat.

“You know, Jamal does have an actual guest room.”

Kenan didn’t move, just let out a low, sleep-roughened grumble that was probably a sentence in some language I didn’t speak.

I rolled my eyes, walking into the kitchen. “I’m going to get breakfast. If you’re alive in the next five minutes, feel free to come along.”

He was already pushing himself up onto his elbows, blinking like he wasn’t fully convinced the day had started yet. “Where’s Jamal?”

I grabbed my coat. “Still dead to the world.”

Kenan ran a hand through his hair, exhaling through his nose. “Smart man.”

…

The café was small, tucked away from the main streets, the kind of place that felt warm the second you walked in. The smell of fresh bread and espresso filled the air, and despite the morning chill outside, it was cozy, inviting, the kind of place people actually took their time in.

I relaxed a little the second I stepped inside.

Kenan scanned the space, hands in his pockets, taking it in like he was mentally scoring it. “Not bad.”

I scoffed. “Not bad? This is an elite breakfast spot.”

He smirked. “I’ll decide once I taste the food.”

I rolled my eyes but before I could continue defending my flawless café selection, I noticed a small interaction at the counter.

A barista—young, probably new—was clearly overwhelmed, trying to juggle too many things at once. She fumbled slightly with the coffee machine, hands moving fast, eyes flicking to the growing line like it was personally taunting her.

The businessman at the front, impatient and already checking his watch, let out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Jesus, is it always this slow?”

I didn’t mean to intervene.

It just kind of… happened.

I leaned slightly against the counter, offering a calm, easy smile.

“Take your time. It’s way too early for people to be this impatient.”

The words weren’t pointed, not really, but they carried just enough weight to cut through the tension.

The barista glanced at me, a flicker of relief in her expression before she nodded quickly and refocused on the drink in front of her.

The businessman, unimpressed, muttered something under his breath but dropped it, grabbing his coffee and stalking off.

Kenan, silent up until now, turned his head slightly toward me, like he was seeing me differently for the first time.

I ignored it, focusing back on the menu.

When we finally stepped up to order, the barista, still looking a little frazzled but better, managed a small, genuine smile.

“Thanks,” she murmured, adjusting her apron. “Some people are just…” She trailed off, rolling her eyes slightly, as if she couldn’t quite find the right word.

“The worst?” I offered.

She laughed. “Yeah. That.”

Kenan was still watching me, but now there was something else behind it.

Something almost amused.

“So you do have the capacity to be nice,” he mused, smirking as we stepped aside to wait for our drinks. “Interesting.”

I scoffed, stirring a sugar packet between my fingers. “I am perfectly capable of being nice.”

Kenan raised a brow, feigning deep contemplation. “Mmm. Just not to me?”

“The barista never stole my pretzel.”

He let out a low, lazy laugh, shaking his head as if he almost respected the answer. “Fair point.”

I took a sip of my coffee, pleased with myself, but before I could gloat, the barista returned, sliding an extra croissant onto our tray.

“On the house,” she said with a grin. “For being nice.”

I shot her a bright smile, but that smile slightly fell when I turned back to Kenan, I caught him watching me.

Not smirking. Not teasing.

Just looking.

It wasn’t obvious, nothing overt or lingering enough to call attention to itself. But there was something there—something unreadable, like a thought passing through his mind before he could decide what to do with it.

I frowned. “What?”

Kenan blinked, shaking his head slightly like he was resetting his expression. “Nothing.”

I squinted at him. “You’re weird.”

He smirked. “And yet, you invited me to breakfast.”

I rolled my eyes. “Because I was feeling charitable.”

Kenan took a slow sip of his coffee, eyes still flickering with something I couldn’t quite name.

“Lucky me.”

And for some reason, that sentence stayed with me longer than it should have.

…

The rest of the day, after dropping Jamal’s breakfast and Kenan went home, I was on a mission.

Enough sulking. Enough rehashing why I was even here. If I was going to spend a weekend away, I was going to make something of it—starting with the one thing that had never failed to lift my spirits.

Retail therapy.

Now, let’s be clear—I wasn’t the kind of person who regularly indulged in luxury shopping sprees. I was a firm believer in financial responsibility and splurging on sales.

But sometimes—just sometimes—a girl needed to treat herself.

I had no intention of actually buying anything.

But the moment I stepped inside Saint Laurent, something in me shifted.

Maybe it was the soft golden lighting, making everything look like it belonged in a dream. Maybe it was the quiet elegance of it all, the way the sales associates moved like they had all the secrets to life itself.

Or maybe, for the first time all week, I felt like I deserved something just for me.

I started with the handbags, lightly running my fingers over smooth leather and delicate gold clasps, trying to soak up the feeling of being in a place that felt so effortlessly put-together.

And then—I saw it.

It wasn’t a bag.

It was a dress.

Simple, timeless, and undeniably perfect.

I hesitated for a second, fingers hovering over the fabric, wondering if I was allowed to try something this nice on.

Then a sales associate appeared, smiling warmly. “Would you like to see how it fits?”

I bit my lip, a little shy. “Oh, I was just—”

But then, in a rare moment of self-indulgence, I nodded. “Actually… yeah. Why not?”

And that was how it started.

Five minutes later, I was standing in front of a mirror, staring at a version of myself I hadn’t seen in a while.

The dress fit like it was made for me.

It hugged just right, elegant but effortless, like I’d just thrown it on and magically looked stunning. The kind of dress that didn’t need accessories or complicated styling. It just… worked.

I smoothed my hands over the fabric, twirling just slightly, inspecting every angle.

And for the first time all weekend, I actually smiled at my reflection.

The saleswoman clasped her hands together. “That’s the one, isn’t it?”

I exhaled, still staring at myself. “You’re very good at your job.”

She laughed. "You look stunning, dear."

I let out a small, giddy giggle, the kind I hadn’t heard from myself in a while. It felt nice, to like how I looked—to do something that was just for me, without a single ounce of guilt attached.

For once, I wasn’t overthinking it.

I wasn’t analyzing whether I should or shouldn’t.

I was just happy.

So before I could talk myself out of it, I lifted my chin and said, “I’ll take it.”

As I handed over my card, I thought about where I’d wear it.

Jamal’s match tonight. The VIP box.

And then, out of nowhere, another thought crept in—one I definitely didn’t mean to have.

What if Kenan sees me in this? Surely he would be there too.

The moment the thought fully registered, warmth crept up my neck and into my cheeks.

I nearly choked on my own internal monologue.

I shook my head quickly, forcing down the blush before the saleswoman could notice.

I wasn’t buying this for him. Obviously. No. This was just for me.

…But if Kenan happened to see me in it, well.

That wasn’t my fault.

….

By the time I arrived at Allianz Arena, I felt genuinely lighter.

Maybe it was the crisp night air, the buzz of excitement in the crowd, or the fact that I was actually looking forward to something for the first time in days.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that I felt good in my new dress.

The stadium lights shone down as I made my way to the VIP section, clutching my pass. The energy inside was electric, fans already singing, the deep thrum of anticipation settling over the stands.

I stepped inside the box, scanning the seats for Jamal, when a familiar voice cut through the crowd.

I turned, already knowing who it was before I even saw him.

Kenan stood next to me, hands tucked casually into his pockets, his usual smirk firmly in place. The stadium lights did unfair things to his features, casting a warm glow over his already obnoxiously handsome face, and for a split second, I hated that he had the nerve to look like that in any setting.

His gaze flicked down ever so slightly, scanning my dress before he met my eyes again.

“You look good.”

I blinked, caught slightly off guard by the lack of sarcasm in his voice.

Then, as if he could sense me registering the compliment too much, he added, “Unexpected, really.”

There it was.

I let out a scoff, placing a hand on my chest. “Oh my God, Kenan. That was almost a normal, genuine compliment. You must be exhausted.”

He hummed, nodding. “Yeah, I don’t know what came over me. Won’t happen again.”

“Shame,” I teased. “I was really enjoying the moment.”

He shook his head, biting back a smile. “So, what brings you here? Finally expanding your horizons past FIFA?”

I crossed my arms. “Actually, I’m here for Jamal. Some of us support our friends.”

Kenan nodded slowly. “Mmm. And yet… you’re standing here, talking to me instead.”

I opened my mouth to fire back, but before I could, the stadium erupted in cheers, the players stepping onto the field.

I turned my attention to the match, trying to pretend I wasn’t slightly flustered.

Kenan, however, didn’t seem as interested in the game as he was in continuing his favorite pastime: annoying me for fun.

“So, be honest,” he murmured, leaning in slightly. “You understand the rules of football, right?”

I gave him a dry look. “Wow. Incredible assumption. You see a woman at a match and immediately assume she doesn’t get it?”

Kenan grinned, unbothered. “No, I just see you at a match and assume you’re mostly here for the snacks.”

I gasped. “Excuse me, I am deeply invested in Jamal’s career.”

Kenan hummed, clearly not convinced. “Okay. What position does he play?”

I stared at him. “...Defense?”

Kenan smirked. “He’s a midfielder.”

I groaned, throwing my hands up. “Alright, whatever, I’m here for vibes and friendship. Sue me.”

Kenan chuckled, his eyes twinkling with pure amusement.

For once, I didn’t feel annoyed by it.

I turned back to the field, taking in the sheer energy of the stadium, the rush of excitement that rippled through the crowd.

And out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kenan watching me.

I glanced at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be watching the match?”

His smirk didn’t waver. “I am.”

Something warm and fluttery settled in my stomach before I could stop it.

…

By the time the match ended, I was happily full of stadium energy but tragically underfed.

The VIP box had food, sure, but it was the kind of small, fancy bites that looked better than they tasted. You know, the kind that was supposed to be "elevated dining" but just made you angry and hungrier.

I popped another tiny canapé into my mouth and sighed dramatically.

Kenan, who had been watching me struggle with barely concealed amusement, finally smirked. “You’re starving.”

I turned to him, offended. “I am not starving.”

Kenan gestured lazily to the criminally small appetizer on my plate. “You just inhaled that in one bite.”

I crossed my arms. “Maybe I have a very refined palate.”

He snorted. “Right. That’s why you look physically betrayed after every bite.”

I sighed, defeated. “Okay, fine. Maybe I’m a little hungry.”

Kenan hummed like he was deep in thought, then glanced at his watch.

“Come on.”

I frowned. “What?”

He was already heading toward the exit, looking over his shoulder like it was obvious. “We’re getting food.”

I blinked. “Wait, seriously?”

Kenan chuckled, his expression full of mischief. “Trust me, anything outside is an upgrade from whatever that was.”

I tilted my head. “And what if this is an elaborate scheme to lure me into a suspiciously empty street?”

His smirk deepened. “I’d like to think if I wanted you gone, I’d be more creative than that.”

I considered it. “That’s… unsettlingly fair.”

…

Kenan’s car smelled unfairly nice—not in an overwhelming, aggressively expensive way, but in that effortless ‘I have my life together’ way. It was all clean leather, faint cologne, and something subtly fresh, like pine or citrus, the kind of scent that made you want to breathe a little deeper just to keep it around a second longer.

I did not breathe deeper.

Instead, I focused on the city outside, on the soft blur of streetlights streaking across the window as we drove through a quieter part of Munich. The streets were mostly empty, the chaos of match day behind us, and for the first time in what felt like ages, I wasn’t feeling weighed down by my own thoughts.

I was full, I was warm, and for once, I wasn’t thinking about him.

And then, Kenan spoke.

“So.” His voice was casual, almost offhanded, like he wasn’t about to upend my peace. “You never actually said why you were in Munich.”

I blinked, looking away from the window. “What?”

He glanced at me briefly, his fingers drumming idly against the steering wheel before he turned back to the road. “You don’t seem like the type to just book a random flight for fun.”

I scoffed, feigning offense. “Excuse me, I am very spontaneous.”

Kenan hummed like he didn’t believe me. “Right. And how many of these ‘totally random’ solo trips have you taken before?”

I opened my mouth. Paused. Frowned.

“…That’s not important.”

Kenan chuckled, shaking his head. “So, you’re telling me you woke up one day and thought, Munich sounds nice?”

I huffed dramatically, crossing my arms. “Maybe I did.”

Kenan shot me a pointed look that said ‘I know you’re full of shit.’

I exhaled, shifting in my seat. “Fine. I was supposed to see someone.”

He didn’t react—just kept driving, waiting.

It was almost worse than if he had immediately jumped in with a question.

I sighed, resting my head against the window. “But, uh… turns out he didn’t feel like seeing me back. And I had the ticket booked already.”

The words felt… lighter now, like they didn’t hold the same weight as they did a few days ago. Maybe because I’d said them out loud before. Maybe because I wasn’t alone with them anymore.

Kenan’s fingers flexed on the steering wheel, his jaw tightening for half a second before he spoke.

“Idiot.”

I blinked, turning toward him. “What?”

His voice was even, casual, but the way he said it was too sure, too final. “The guy. He’s an idiot.”

I let out a small, surprised laugh, shaking my head. “You don’t even know him.”

Kenan didn’t hesitate. “Don’t have to.”

Something about his certainty made my stomach twist.

I licked my lips, choosing to ignore the warm feeling creeping into my chest. “You’re very confident in that assessment.”

Kenan finally glanced at me, just for a moment, then looked back at the road. “Yeah. I am.”

The air in the car felt different all of a sudden, not uncomfortable, but charged.

I opened my mouth, about to say something to break whatever this was, when—

Kenan reached into the backseat, grabbing something, and tossed a small paper bag into my lap.

I frowned down at it. “What’s this?”

Kenan kept his eyes on the road, one hand resting lazily on the gear shift. “Something I saw.”

I gave him a suspicious look before reaching inside.

The first thing I felt was something soft.

And when I pulled it out, I actually gasped.

It was a Jellycat plush.

But not just any Jellycat plush.

A pretzel-shaped one.

Ridiculously soft, golden brown with tiny embroidered salt flecks, its round body twisted into a perfect loop, like an adorable, carb-shaped hug.

I stared at it, completely thrown.

My brain short-circuited.

I turned to Kenan, wide-eyed. “You—” I stopped, shaking my head, too stunned to be normal about this. “You got me a Jellycat pretzel?”

Kenan shrugged, like this was completely normal behavior. “Figured you’d appreciate it.”

I blinked down at my lap, still gripping the plush like it might disappear if I let go. “I—this is—I don’t even know what to say.”

Kenan smirked. “Wow. A rare moment.”

I ignored him, still reeling. “Wait. How did you—” My eyes narrowed as the realization hit. “Jamal.”

Kenan huffed a small laugh. “Jamal.”

I groaned, slumping back against my seat, embarrassed beyond belief. “I swear, he’s worse than an actual gossip column.”

“He told me the full pretzel tragedy while you were shopping this morning.” Kenan’s lips twitched. “Said you looked genuinely devastated when I took the last one.”

I gasped, pressing a hand to my chest. “I was devastated.”

Kenan let out a real laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, I got that impression. Little drama queen.”

I glanced back down at the plush, running my fingers over its ridiculously soft surface, warmth blooming in my chest for an entirely different reason now.

I swallowed. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this, you know?”

Kenan exhaled through his nose, his smirk fading slightly. “I know.”

There was a small pause, then—

“I wanted to. I like to see you smile”

I froze.

Just for a second.

It wasn’t even what he said.

It was how he said it. Like it was simple. Like it wasn’t a big deal.

But it was a big deal.

I looked down at the Jellycat pretzel, tracing my thumb over one of the little embroidered salt flecks.

Kenan cleared his throat, like he wanted to move the conversation along before I got weird about it.

“I, uh—” He rubbed his jaw, focusing back on the road. “I couldn’t exactly smuggle a fresh one into the match, so I figured this would keep you warm in a different way.”

I swallowed, my grip tightening on the plush.

Somehow, slowly over the last few days, my heart stopped feeling so heavy.

I glanced at Kenan, and for once, he wasn’t watching me with his usual smirk or teasing expression.

He was just watching.

Like he was still trying to figure out why I looked so surprised.

Like he didn’t realize he had just completely disarmed me.

I turned back to the window, hiding my smile.

Kenan shifted in his seat, adjusting the air conditioning like he suddenly needed something to do with his hands.

He still hadn’t started the drive back to Jamal’s.

Good. I wasn’t in a rush to get anywhere.

…

I woke up earlier than expected, the kind of early where the world still felt half-asleep, where the streets outside hummed quietly with the first stirrings of the city.

The apartment was still, save for the occasional distant sound—pipes groaning as someone used the shower, the soft buzz of an electric toothbrush in another room.

And then—

A loud "OH, COME ON!" followed by rapid button-mashing and what I could only assume was a FIFA-related disaster.

I groaned, pressing my face into the pillow, trying to will myself back to sleep.

It didn’t work.

Instead, my hand reached instinctively for something beside me, fingers brushing against—

Oh.

I cracked one eye open.

There, sitting right beside my pillow, was the Jellycat pretzel plush.

Warmth bloomed immediately in my chest, completely uninvited.

It had been exactly where I left it, tucked neatly beside me like some ridiculous comfort object. I had slept next to it. Like some sentimental idiot.

I exhaled sharply, flopping onto my back and covering my face with my hands. “I’m losing it.”

Jamal’s distant FIFA agony continued in the other room.

I peeked at the plush again, this time reaching over to pick it up, squeezing it absently in my hands.

It was too soft. Too huggable. Too… thoughtful.

Kenan had really gone out of his way to find something like this. He had listened to Jamal’s retelling of my pretzel tragedy and then acted on it.

That thought alone did something weird to my stomach.

I needed to leave before I started reading into things.

After a long, slightly too-hot shower and a reluctant change into travel clothes, I zipped up my suitcase and walked into the living room, where Jamal was still intensely focused on FIFA.

“Morning,” I greeted, adjusting my bag strap.

Jamal barely looked up. “Yo. Ready for your flight?”

I nodded, shifting my weight. “Yeah, time to go back home. Thanks for letting me crash.”

He finally paused his game, stretching lazily. “No problem. You’re welcome to crash here whenever your love life implodes.”

I gasped, fake offended. “Excuse me, that was one time.”

Jamal smirked. “That was this time.”

I glared at him. “You’re very lucky I don’t have time to fight you about this.”

Jamal grinned, unpausing his game. “Safe flight, man. Oh—Kenan’s out front, by the way.”

I froze mid-step, my brain short-circuiting. “What?”

Jamal tilted his head toward the window. “I think he’s waiting for you.”

I blinked rapidly, my stomach flipping for reasons I refused to acknowledge.

Kenan was… waiting for me?

I didn’t even have time to process what that meant before my feet were already moving, slipping on my coat and heading for the door.

And sure enough—

When I stepped outside, there he was.

Leaning against his car, hands tucked into his pockets, his posture completely at ease, like he had been there for a while and had all the time in the world.

The moment he saw me, his lips curved into a smirk, like he had been expecting me to be surprised.

“You’re awake,” he said, as if he had any reason to assume I wouldn’t be.

I scoffed, shifting my bag higher on my shoulder. “What are you doing here?”

Kenan shrugged. “Driving you to the airport.”

I blinked. “I—what?”

He tilted his head slightly, amused by my confusion. “What, you thought I’d let you navigate Munich public transport with a suitcase?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I was literally just going to call an Uber.”

Kenan rolled his eyes, exhaling through his nose. “That’s boring.”

I stared at him, the weight of this entire situation settling into my brain.

Kenan—who had no reason to be here—had woken up, driven across the city, and was now waiting for me outside, completely unbothered, like this was just something he did.

I adjusted my coat, voice quieter. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”

Kenan looked at me like I had just said something profoundly stupid. “Yeah. I know.”

I didn’t know what to do with that.

So instead of overanalyzing it to death, I just sighed, adjusting my bag.

“Fine. Let’s go.

…

When we finally pulled up to the departures area, Kenan shifted into park, tapping his fingers lightly against the steering wheel.

I unbuckled my seatbelt slowly, suddenly feeling like this was weirdly… final.

Like leaving now meant returning to normal.

And for some reason, I wasn’t ready for that.

I turned to him, opening my mouth to say… something.

But before I could, Kenan reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out.

A tiny bag of pretzels.

I blinked, thrown completely off guard. “You—”

Kenan smirked, holding it out toward me. “Figured you might need some snacks for the flight.”

I stared at him, something warm creeping into my chest before I could stop it.

I took the bag, shaking my head. “You’re trying to buy my goodwill?”

He leaned back against the seat. “You love it.”

I scoffed, but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Debatable.”

Kenan’s gaze flicked to my carry-on, and before I could register what he was about to say, his smirk deepened slightly.

“Did you pack the Jellycat?”

My face immediately heated up.

I opened my mouth—to lie, obviously—but Kenan just let out a laugh, shaking his head. “You did.”

I huffed. “No comment.”

Kenan’s lips twitched. “Good. It means my plan worked.”

I frowned. “Plan?”

He nodded toward the plush peeking slightly from the top of my bag. “Now you have to think about me every time you see it.”

My brain short-circuited.

I had no response to that.

I huffed, adjusting my bag. “Okay, well. Thanks for the ride, I guess.”

Kenan nodded once, casual as ever. “See you around.”

I hesitated for half a second.

Then, before I could stop myself—

I turned back to him one last time.

And said, without thinking:

“Don’t miss me too much.”

Kenan’s smirk was slow, lazy, and way too confident.

“No promises.”

I stared at him, my brain doing at least fifteen flips, before turning on my heel and walking inside before I could make this worse for myself.

I had no idea what had just happened.

All I knew was that my face was burning, and I was smiling like an idiot.

…

Back home, everything was exactly as I had left it.

The same apartment, the same slightly-too-loud coffee machine sputtering in protest before coming to life, the same half-empty fridge reminding me that I should really start grocery shopping like an adult.

Everything had resumed as normal.

And yet—

I found myself standing in my bedroom, suitcase still half-unpacked, as if some part of me refused to fully settle back into my routine. My fingers ran absentmindedly over the plush pretzel sitting on my bed, its soft, squishy loops an absurd but strangely comforting reminder of the past weekend.

I wasn’t supposed to still be thinking about him.

I wasn’t supposed to be replaying conversations in my head, breaking apart the way he had looked at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, the small shifts in his expression, the casual, almost careless way he had handed me that bag with the Jellycat and the pretzel, as if it hadn’t meant anything at all.

I let out a frustrated sigh, squeezing the plush against my chest like it was somehow responsible for all of this.

“You’re not helping,” I muttered at it.

Unsurprisingly, the Jellycat did not have a response.

I groaned, flopping onto my bed and burying my face into my pillow, as if that would somehow smother my thoughts into submission.

This was ridiculous.

I was being ridiculous.

I had gone to Munich with a very specific reason—to see someone who had ultimately proved to be unworthy of my time. But somehow, I had left with something else entirely.

A new inside joke. A new routine. A new, completely inconvenient way my stomach flipped whenever I got a text notification.

Which was precisely why I should not have reached for my phone just now.

But I did.

And when I turned it over—

There it was.

A new message.

From Kenan.

I hesitated for a beat, my thumb hovering over the screen, already knowing that whatever it said would only make things worse for me.

Then, finally, I clicked it open.

Kenan: Buy a nice winter coat.

I frowned, sitting up slightly as I typed back.

Me: Why?

The reply came almost instantly, as if he had been waiting for me to answer.

Kenan: I’m playing in the Netherlands next Wednesday.

Another message followed before I even had time to process the first.

Kenan: I need you to see how much better I am than Jamal, obviously.

I stared at my screen, my heart doing a very, very inconvenient thing, something warm and fluttery and deeply annoying settling into my chest.

I didn’t respond right away.

Because I already knew what I was going to do.

I was going.

[natsuminmin]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ CHATBOX LOVE -> kenma kozume !!!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ NEVER MET! by CMTEN , glitch gum

synopsis; in which kenma is sent into a spiral after seeing a familiar username cw: deff slight angst, discord type-love , usage of baby , erm exes trope , kenma crash out , unproofread + lowercase , implied f!reader but can be interpreted as gn!reader , idk if its ooc but prob eek,

"and even though it's been a week, i still think of your face"

already? wow, a week since you had ended things with kenma. to him, it felt like months. years, even, which was why he decided to stop counting the days.

so imagine his surprise when he had randomly matched up with you in roblox.

he swears it was you, had all the the same numbers in your user, all the same accessories in your avatar.

he just had to type in the chatbox, he didn't care how desperate he sounded, he wants you back:

kod5uken : [baby? baby thats u right? its kenma]

skibidi1234 : [uhhh no sorry dude idk you]

ah. and then skibidi1234 left, probably weirded out. damn it, he was hallucinating now. on top of that, he was stupid enough to say his real name online.

he left the game himself too, closing roblox in a rage. he wanted to sleep, but his puffy eyes and stuffy nose made it hard to do so.

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

barbie : [kenma we need to talk ]

kennie : [what is it]

barbie : [lets break up]

kennie : [oh]

kennie : [okay]

barbie : [im sorry, i cant juggle you and studies]

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

that was the last he's heard from you because you've blocked him on everything. hell, you even blocked him on spotify. he should've listened when everyone told him e-dating was going to ruin him.

but how could he resist? he had fallen in love with you already. you were his perfect partner; games with him (somewhat bad, but you both managed), funny, attractive, his type. it's just unfortunate that you had to live miles away from him.

kenma's done sooo much impulsive things just for you: blew all his money on the latest 2-player game from steam so he could play with you, vc'ed until the latest hours of night just so he could keep talking to you, he even skipped some volleyball practices so he could come home earlier just to see you in a video chat.

ugh, he can't count all the times he's lost his dignity either. he had called you "his barbie" and he called himself ken. oh god, that was probably one of the cringiest things he's said in his life.

and don't even remind him about online karaoke, god knows how much screen records you have of his voice breaking mid-song.

speaking of records, he can't bear to delete all the adorable pictures you sent while updating him about your day. he's always liked seeing what weird and interesting things you've done. but worst of all, he's kept screenshots of every loving and tender message from you that had flustered him (spoiler alert: anything you said made his ears red.)

he opened the album he had moved the screenshots to, scrolling through it until his eyes settled on a certain one:

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

barbie : [baby u live in japan right?]

kennie : [mhm]

barbie : [nice]

barbie : [just wait, im gonna buy tickets to fly there soon]

kennie : [ur crazy]

barbie : [sure yes whatever... i luv u ken :P]

kennie : [i love you too]

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

oh, dear. he can feel tears running down his cheek again. yep, there it was. his recently cleared sinus was blocking up again. damn it, he thought, as he wrapped himself tighter in the sheet. he can't even enjoy playing his games anymore.

kenma still misses you, from the very day you left him. you were his perfect partner, even though you had heartlessly shattered his heart and he would probably never entrust someone with it.

you know what, he'll never respond to some random dm ever again.

unless it was from you, of course.

"it'd be better if we had just never met"

a/n: was a request from two of my dearest friends who suprisingly are kenma luvrs LOL hi guys @rahhhr @terrariumaura also this was a nod to his 2020-self ik this was so cliche and someone has probably done this but i hoped you like my own (short) spin on it guys do uu know the genius that thought of their chat names BECAUSE BECAUSE THE SONG GOES LIKE "REMEMBER WHEN I CALLED YOU MY BARBIE AND I WAS KEN" IT FITS SO WELL BECAUSE KEN-MA okay bye

[ajearthlinggg]

exposing you based on your fav will wood/wwatt song (my longest post)

A lot of these have nothing to do with the song. They're basically headcannons lmao. My Blake Jennings is showing

No instrumental chnt except Rhumba sorry

i started this in June enjoy

EIAL

6up 5oh copout: its low hanging fruit to say you hate cops, and I'm taking it. You hate cops.

Skeleton Appreciation whatever the fuck: Covid RUINED you

Front Street: you like Heathers

Aikido!: how's that obsessiveness and inability to let go going?

White Knuckle Jerk: you also like nu metal for the same reason. (Its incredibly horny)

Cover This Song: same as Aikido but only with your exes omg do not text them they are assholes

Thermodynamic Lawyer: PLEASE take time to calm down when you get overstimulated I promise if you don't do anything abt it you will have such a terrible mental breakdown

Red Moon: YOU LISTEN TO MALE MANIPULATOR MUSIC STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT YOU CANT BE IN THE RADIOHEAD CLOSET FOREVER

Lysergide daydream: I honestly do not like this song at all so you get a pass (don't kill me)

The First Step: you're usually quiet but you know how to SCREAM.

Jimmy Mushroom: you're usually quiet but- I'm just kidding. You're always quiet

Chemical Overreaction: you're usually quiet but if- I'm just kidding. You are never quiet

Everything is a lot/dte: insomnia. I dont know why,but insomnia

Self-ish

self/ish: closet theatre kid

2012: fast talker to a not comprehendible level

Cotard Solution: turn off the v-sauce it is 2 am

Mr. Capgras: turn off the 🌽 it is 2 am

The Song With Five Names: you have incredible taste. You can't describe that taste, but hey, its incredible

Hand me my shovel: you were the only talented kid in your elementary music class

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: you love the smell of cigarettes

TNA

Suburbia overture: BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD

222: your English teacher loves you (you're so goddamn gay)

Laplace's Angel: your English teacher hates you. How do I know? Because you can't pronounce anything (its la-plass-es not la-place-is)

i/me/myself: you have to beat off the fake fan allegations with a stick everyday

Wbtta: hey queen. How are those hyperfixations going

Outliars and hyppocrates: you spell the title wrong every. damn. time.

bbw: same as 2012 but holy shit triple it.

Marsha, thankk you: dyslexia and ADHD

Love, me normally: I get it. I'm not even gonna expose you. You already have it bad enough

Momento Mori: you are just SO quirky! (knives whisper things to you when you hold them)

Icimi

Tomcat Disposables: you'd shove photos of your pets in your friends faces even if they were dangling off a bridge

Becoming the last names: you either have wonderful parents in a happy relationship or your parents have been divorced for years and you will never relate to this song

Cicada Days: stop using self deprecating humor around the wrong people PLEASE

Euthanasia: this song is a masterpiece I have nothing to say about you.

Falling Up: WONDERFUL TASTE. AMAZING CHOICE. NO RECOLLECTION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD.

That's enough: you love Alex g you just don't know it yet

Um its kind of a lot: you either already love Scott pilgrim or it will happen. Its a canon event

Half decade hangover: omg twinn!! I have an addictive personality, too!

(I feel like this is a good time to say don't take these too seriously)

You liked this: ...what?

The main character: you can't relate to the song, you hate yourself

Sdrr: IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON TAKING THIS SONG SUPER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT YDHZJABXV

Bfb: ur just a silly lil guy

Willard!: you're a therian. There is no human explanation to this.

white noise: you love pink floyd you just don't know it yet

Atkf: HOW TF DID I FORGET THIS ONE anyways you get bad habits (nail biting, staying up too late. Etc)

CHNT

Yes to err: you are still waiting for chnt season 2 BC you want to see what happens with Adam

Your body, my temple: I have a strong feeling you have a tummy ache right now

Venetian Blind Man: you love nobody sexually you just don't know it yet (this is a very ace choice idk why)

Rhumba of Death: you LOVE Halloween

When Somebody Needs You: Tyler the Creator is probably your favorite rapper

Live

Trww

Self/ish: You can't sleep if your room has the SLIGHTEST amount of light in it

10-4 6-up: unlike the original, you don't just hate cops, you hate anybody who can tell you what to do (your teachers are probably just trying to do their job. please)

Cotards Solution: you can't sleep without background noise

Dr Sunshine Lives!: You never get sick physically (mentally on the other hand...)

Where do you get off: omg the horniest of the horny. Gerard Way on stage levels of horny. Nine Inch Nails levels of horny. (Or you really like Umbrella Academy idk why)

Aikido: you can't relate to it. You hate everybody

Take a break grab some water this is getting long

Thermodynamic Lawyer: you have gotten kicked out of restaurants because of how loud you are

Front Street: WE GET IT. IT'S BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Wasting away again: I am so sorry holy shit

Hand me my (x), I'm (y): you suck at algebra

The First Step: you wish you could do the AUGHHHHHHHH

2012: severe social anxiety

Mr capgras: literally the opposite of 2012 (live)

Chemical Overreaction: you know so many random fun facts

Fibrodysplasia: I'm not even gonna talk about your mental issues because I will be banned from this app (which is pretty much impossible)

Icid

Cicada Days: you also get a pass fuck I'm so sorry

The main character okay you ACTUALLY can relate to it

Icimi: OMG I LOVE YOU

atkf: you cry every day even if you aren't sad

Becoming the last names: please don't become a Disney adult

Vampire ref: LISTEN TO MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF AND IK YOU LOVE HOT VAMPIRE MUSIC

Half decade hangover: oh my god talk to somebody it'll be okay I'm so sorry

Tsw5n: you love the way he says "what the fuck"

Euthanasia: once again, ANOTHER PASS. IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY

Jimmy Mushrooms: You. Me. Marriage. Now.

Laplaces Angel: you listen to LitWTC

i/me/myself: you were trying to separate yourself from the normal i/me/myself fans

The first step: idk why but you REALLY like lemonade

skeleton appreciation day: you can NOT play any instrument

tomcat disposables: you love concept albums

White noise: unlike cotards, you need to sleep in SILENCE

Love me normally: arctic monkeys. that's all I have to say. idk what about them but, yeah

misanthrapologist: GAY QUEER LGBT HOMOSEXUAL FRUITY ZESTY ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER

Falling up: wonderful taste once again please don't become a Disney adult

thats enough let's get you home: you say "YIPPIE!!" a lot

And if I did: god made you shy because he knew if you weren't you would be unstoppable

[lostalioth]

Could you make Sam, Dean, or Cas(one or all whatever you feel like but I love Sam🫶) with like an alternative/goth person? I can describe me as an example, real short with fluffy purple mid-length hair, tons of piercings and genderfluid(uses all pronouns), with a slim thick but still more of a slim thick/chubby/muscular with great humor like Deadpool as you loved animals and horror games. I love going to concerts and art, anything creative and going to college for marine biology/zoology!

𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘵𝘩/𝘢𝘭𝘵!𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳

warnings: gender neutral!reader (or i did my best to), goth/alt!reader (if i failed at describing that im sorry as well), reader described to wear eyeliner/makeup and jewelry and piercings mentioned, short sweet fluff with sammy boy.

a/n: a couple things i did my best to write this as gender neutral as i could? i may have failed as i tpcially write x female reader but i tried and i didnt know exactly what you wanted me to write besides one of the supernatural boys with an alt/goth person so sorry its just a short headcannon :) also this is my frist time writing for any of the supernatural boys so im sorry if he is out of character.

Sam loves to do your eyeliner for you on the days when you just don't feel up to it, your full makeup look often takes you a minute to complete. Of course as with everything Sam gets very dedicated to it and so he only does it after he has perfected it, not wanting to ruin your look with imperfect liner. Meaning sometimes it may just take longer in the end than if you did it on your own. You could care less though because as Sam does it, he will have a very soft grasp on your face and or neck the whole time. Softly caressing your skin with his thumb mindlessly in focus. The small action always makes your heart swell.

Plus: after almost 2 weeks of begging and endlessly promising to never show or tell Dean, he lets you do your signature eyeliner look on him. He wouldn't let you do your full regular makeup look on him but you were happy he even agreed to the eyeliner.

“Babe I promise you're gonna look so cool once I'm done” you gush with a small smile on your face. You had a hold on his chin to force his head still. You were currently sat on his lap in your shared room at the bunker, Him being sat on your vanity chair.

“You're lucky i love you princess” he chuckled softly and rubs his hands over your thighs, giving them a small squeeze as continue working on your masterpiece.

Speaking of your shared bedroom in the bunker, with your and Sam's combined wardrobes there was a severe lack of color. The both of you favoring black and darker colors.

You require attention from San often even when he is on one of his research deepdives. So Sam doing whatever he can to keep his girl happy worked it out that he will do his researching on the couch. That way you can lay out next to him with your head in his lap. He often finds himself playing and fidgeting with your necklaces or ear piercings, facial piercings, etc.

You have a darker sense of humor that tends to come out at inopportune moments on hunts. It never fails to break tension however and get a small laugh out of both the brothers.

Sam isn't all that big on PDA but loves giving you small random shows of affection, his hand rubbing your shoulder, a small squeeze of your hip in passing. His favorite though being small kisses of appreciation, reassurance, etc. though after a small and not entirely compliant of him messing up your makeup when he'd kiss your face and how it took you a long time. He began turning the small kissing habit into kissing your hand, the top of your head, your shoulder, anywhere but your face when you had your full makeup look on.

When you’d tag along on hunts with the boys Sam bought you a small vial necklace that matched all your other jewelry for you to wear and fill with holy water. Just in case you needed it.

The brothers also found out the hard way that when you're fully dressed up in your gothic/alternative look on hunts the three of you are often turned away at churches. You learned to pack a more normal outfit to switch into if it's necessary to step foot in church. You also easily overheat with your all black clothing. Sam started always keeping the AC on in the impala, at least when he's in the driver's seat that is.

Sam finds himself tracing or kissing your anti-possession tattoo that you had gotten alongside them. You don't often go on hunts with them, Sam being far too worried and nervous about your well being. He's concerned you'll get hurt even not out on hunts so he was relieved when you agreed to get the tattoo when they did. He wants nothing more than for you to be safe and happy.

“I will always protect you baby you know that right?” Sam questions softly as his finger traces around your shared tattoo and any others you have.

“I know that sweet boy” you smile fondly at your boyfriend and snuggle closer in his arms.

→ a/n: PLEASE LEAVE ME FEEDBACK AND HOPE YOU ENJOYED BABES AND SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS THIS WASNT PROOF READ :)

[wcnderlnds]

under the mistletoe | kit walker

CHRISTMAS ADVENT - DAY ONE

・❥・summary: kit tries to make christmas at briarcliffe a little more bearable.・❥・warnings: none!・❥・word count: 1k・❥・authors note: first christmas fic! i dont have specific days im gonna post these but hopefully at the very least every other day. you can be added to my taglist by filling this out!

Christmas at Briarcliffe was miserable to say the least. There was no festive spirit in the air, no decorations around the asylum minus a tree in the main foyer that the inmates barely got to see and a few string lights that had most of their bulbs broken. It was like they were trying to make everyone as miserable as possible. At this point it felt like happiness wasn’t even a real emotion anymore. The staff always made sure of that. A smile on someone’s face? No, they couldn’t have that. You had a theory that everyone who got hired was handed a rulebook with the number one rule to be to make sure everyone was as unhappy as they could possibly be. They were good at it, too. 

The only sliver of light in this dark prison went by the name of Kit Walker. That very first day he had sat down next to you in the common room the two of you had clicked instantly. As soon as you’d seen those dark brown eyes, you knew there wasn’t a malicious bone in the man’s body. How anyone could believe he was the infamous Bloody Face remained a mystery to you. He was sweet, kind and he always protected you. In a place like Briarcliffe you needed someone watching out for you. He had your back and you had his. An unstoppable duo.

It wasn’t just friendship, though. The lingering touches, the stolen hugs meant there was so much more between you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t act on it. The staff were always watching. It was a risk even hugging — you had been caught one time, Kit had taken the blame and received punishment. That was just the type of person he was. Always making sure no harm came to you. Words had never been spoken of what lingered between you but they didn’t need to be. His eyes told you everything you needed to know. 

“I don’t want to watch this stupid movie,” you grumbled, shifting in the hard wooden chair. It was movie night. Sister Jude had chosen the same movie - the only movie - she ever allowed anyone to watch. It was getting to the point where you could probably do a one man show of it.

”Me either,” Kit mumbled, leaning in close to whisper his next words in your ear. “Try to sneak out in about ten minutes. Got a surprise for you.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, the anticipation of what was to come coursing through your veins. What did he have planned? What could he even surprise you with in this place? Whatever it was, you knew you’d love it. If Kit had taken the time and the risk to do something for you then you knew it was special. As you sat there, your foot tapping on the ground impatiently, Kit got up from his seat. You watched from the corner of your eye as he spoke to the guard and was soon let out of the room. This must be the signal.

To make it less suspicious you waited a good few minutes before getting up yourself. Your hand wrapped around your stomach as you spoke to the guard that was on duty. All you had to say was you had cramps and no questions were asked; you were allowed to head to the bathroom. Now, where had Kit gone?

Walking the usual, familiar way to the bathroom, you almost shrieked when a hand grasped around your wrist and pulled you into an empty room. Kit’s hand covered your mouth just in case. Getting caught would ruin his whole surprise. “Hey, shush, suga’, it’s just me.”

The sound of his voice calmed you immediately. “Idiot, I thought someone was trying to kill me.”

Kit only grinned. The hand that was around your wrist slid down to your hand, his fingers interlacing with yours. No matter how many times he touched you, the electricity you felt at his skin on yours was still a surprise. Never in your life had you felt something like this for anyone. Is this what love was? Was it even possible to fall in love in this place? But, as Kit looked at you, you knew it was. You had fallen hard and fast for the beautiful man holding your hand. “Close your eyes.”

Your eyes fluttered shut, no questions asked. Trusting Kit was the easiest thing you could do. You heard the sound of rustling then felt Kit move a step closer. His next words were spoken quietly. “Open ‘em.”

As your eyes opened and acclimated to your surroundings again, your gaze flittered up to see Kit holding his arm above you, mistletoe hanging between you in his fingers. A small gasp passed your lips as you saw the fond smile on his face. “Kit… how did you….?”

”Saw some of the old boxes of decorations around when they were putting the tree out so did a little digging when nobody was looking and grabbed this. It’s not much but I remember you telling me how much you love Christmas and how unhappy you were about not feeling in the festive spirit. I had to do somethin.” His words hit you straight in the heart. It felt as if you could burst and at his next words, you were certain you were about to. “Besides, doll, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a real long time. So, what’d you say? I’ve heard that it’s bad luck to not kiss under the mistletoe.”

”Well then, I don’t think either of us need any more bad luck,” you stepped up on your tiptoes, your lips inching forward. Kit closed the distance, his soft lips meeting yours. His hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. The mistletoe dropped to the floor as his over arm engulfed your back. Your arms rested around his neck, lips moving together in perfect sync. It felt like magic. Like this was all you needed to get your Christmas spirit back. Very, very reluctantly Kit pulled away. He admired your swollen lips and the reddening of your cheeks as his eyes found yours once again. “Merry Christmas, suga’. When we get out of here, I’ll give you the proper Christmas you deserve.”

taglist: @strawb3rrystar @marchsfreakshow @honeymoon8 @decaf-mother @ldydeath @mistysconcilium @xrag-dollx @bohnerrific69 @jazzy-reads @lacucarachapisser

[anotherfcknschlattsimp]

Kinktober Day 10

breeding

let's go

schlatt - degradation, shame? question mark?

mating press, full nelson, janukurpara, doggy, peasant

has to get as deep as possible

many rounds over many hours to many days

sees you being motherly with the cats? You will not be able to walk tomorrow

has a special plug for when he wants to keep his cum in you :3

trying for a baby? Will bend you over everytime he thinks about it, no matter how close the rounds get

he’s shooting blanks? that will not stop him.

“fuck toots, such a whore to have some lame rich guy’s baby” he growls in your ear

the most feral noises

cums so fckn hard when he thinks about how big and full your tits are gonna get

“milk my fucking cock, gonna make sure it takes, yeah? get you nice and knocked up”

ted - bodymarking, cucking, multiple partners, poly!tedschlatt

closed box, missionary, impalement, utphallaka, also a fan of peasant

cuck ted but make it tedschlatt

yknow those gangbang/3some/4some vids where one guy just jerks off above the hole before cumming? yeah

making sure he still gets his cum in you to breed you nice and full, but only after having schlatt ruin you first

whether schlatt gets to also cum in you or not depends entirely on how bratty he’d been that day

uses a sharpie to keep track of rounds on your ass and the backs of your thighs

trying for a baby? goes round for round with schlatt until you finally have to tap out cause nothing more will fit

they need you full and round for them yesterday

charlie

any position. any time. anywhere. for any reason.

you bring up milking him the same day you mention wanting to start a family soon

two and two finally clicks after him being needy and insatiable for a while

you get to work right away

riding him til hes shooting blanks and seeing stars

if/when you get tired, he fucks you in whatever position is comfiest for both of you

p r a i s e

“doing so good for me, gonna be such a pretty mommy” as hes kissing everywhere he can reach “fuck, gonna have the perfect little family with you”

locking your legs around his hips if he’s ever on top and trying to pull out

that makes him cum almost immediately

forgive me, im formatting this on my phone

[x3nx]

BEEET!!!!! HERE IT IS...

um also this was finished back in october or smth AND its my first writing thing so prepare for it bc it might be bad... also idk its also a bit corny and cliche and cringe so!!! yeahhaahAANAYSWAYS CLICK THE CUT FOR IT

hater and wander are stuck in a room together. the lightning horned being had been banging on the locked door for atleast 3 minutes now, yelling for somebody to get him out of the dimmed secluded room with the fuzzy small nomad. wander had been sitting there, watching silently as hater tried to get into contact with literally anyone on the other side of the door.

"GROP DARN IT SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEREEE..."

finally giving up on banging on the door, he put his forehead against it, sliding down onto his knees in defeat. wander took this chance to be able to talk to the large boney being. he walked up to be positioned behind him, the nomads hands clasped behind his back and looking over haters shoulder.

"it'll be okay hatey... eventually some fella will come wanderin' around here and let us out..."

the small spoon-shaped figure smiled softly after pausing.

"plus that gives us time to be with each other! you know, like play games, get to know each other, talk about our feelings..."

"SHUT UP I DONT WANT TO BE IN HERE WITH YOU!!!!!"

he turned around and sat on the floor with a grumpy slump, his back against the door. hater crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks in a pouty demeanor as he saw wander standing in front of him.

the good doers smile increased at the sight of the tantrum.

"aww, come on! it wont be so bad!! cheer up a bit!!!"

he nudged the other living being with his elbow, poking hater softly.

the villian growled a bit, wanders actions getting annoying to him like always.

"no."

he scooted himself to face a corner, moving away from wander.

"i dont want to talk to you."

the nomad obviously followed him to the spot he was in. once again he was behind him.

"yet you're talking to me right now, silly!"

wander lightheartedly chuckled at hater as the latter growled quietly.

"come on just talk to me or play a little game with me and ill stop botherin' you..."

now beginning to poke at the side of the annoyed beings body, he waited until hater gave a response to him. the prodding furthered haters anger after a minute, him yelling in frustration.

"RAAGHG FINE!!! ILL PLAY YOUR DUMB GAME... OR..WHATEVER!!!!!"

wander grinned in response as hater swiftly turned around from the corner with an irritated expression.

"so! how was your day hater?!!"

he stared at the taller figure with curiosity and innocence as he patiently waited for a response.

"ruined because of being forced in here with you."

"it was good before right now? what made it good??"

"...well i dont know. it was the same..."

"how exactly was your day 'the same'?"

".....urhm... yeah. im not doing this anymore. you're too annoying and weird..."

hater turned back around as wanders expression faltered. he sighed with a bit of sadness.

"what do i gotta do to be able to talk to you?"

"nothing. i thought you were gonna stop annoying me after i did something with you..."

there was a small pause between the two.

"...well okay, if thats what you want hater!"

wander walked away from him, unfazed. he sat down nearby the skeleton as his space was limited and looked at hater for a while before sighing. he then looked at a random spot on the empty white wall in boredom.

hater, still having the front of his body turned towards the corner, sat still. he sat still and silently, his thoughts and the eerie silence of the room the only company around since he pushed wander away.

not too soon after their last interaction, the both of them heard soft buzzing coming from an unknown source in the space. hater coughed quietly in uncomfortableness due to the prolonged quietness, though he'd rather it be like this than talk to the nomad.

. . . . .

some time had passed by. the exact time? none of them knew. and none of them had made a sound. not talking to each other. it was like it was illegal to speak to one another, atleast on haters side it was. wander would gladly chat with the guy.

the silence that went on for forever was cut by the horned figure moving to lay on the ground on his side. hater sighed with boredom evident in it, feeling the coldness of the floor on his smooshed face. he closed his eyes for a bit as he began to get a bit groggy from being tired due to boredom.

wander on the other hand was knitting something while he hummed a soft tune, not loud enough for lord hater to be annoyed by it. he had his signature starred green hat on the floor as yarn came out of it. his head suddenly moved upwards, hearing shuffling from the occupied corner. he viewed hater as he did the action then exhaled softly. it looked like hater was tired. wander continued watching the resting figure, the latter beginning to move again after a minute or two.

hater went to laying on his stomach as he couldn't sleep due to the hard uncomfortable floor and began to play with his fingers. he extended his arms and put his hands in front of his face, propping them up with two fingers on each hand. he pretended one hand was him, the other being wander and began to quietly mumble to himself.

"raaah, ima destroy you wander!"

his right hand 'pointed' at his left hand, aka wander.

"oh no! please dont destroy me all mighty hater!!"

hater changed his voice to be higher as he bent his left hands fingers, pretending it was wander cowering in fear and begging for mercy.

"no! i give no mercy to those who are pesky and irritating!! muahahaha!!!"

his right hand began to glow a neon green, green electricity forming.

"now say your goodbyes to your dumb horse and your dumb friends and your dumb everything, you wandering weir- OW!!!!!"

hater suddenly yelled loudly and jumped as he accidentally shocked his hand with his own powers somehow. he frowned slightly as he held his own hand before he heard a soft but faint chuckle nearby, turning his head to the source of the sound.

wander was the one laughing with fondness, covering his smile a bit as he looked at hater admiringly.

embarrassment creeping onto his face, the reddening individual stared at the giggly soul. he stared at the soft and carefree expression plastered on his face for a few seconds before shaking his head and spoke up, finally breaking the silence of their voices not speaking.

"...what?"

he unexpectedly found himself heating up more as he asked that.

"oh, nothing..."

wander held back his giggles of amusement as he started voicing his thoughts. he spoke up again.

"it just you..you playing with your fingers is pretty charming..and a bit silly..."

he put his head in his palm, propping it up as he gazed at hater with a lovingly expression.

hater, still laying on his stomach, began to lift himself up to sit down as wander spoke. while he stared at wanders expression, he tried to turn his embarrassment into anger, it only mixing together.

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

with his heart beginning to beat fast his face just continued growing hotter and redder.

the smiling fuzzy being took notice this obviously, beginning to scoot closer to him. as wander did so hater grew nervous for an unknown reason. the latter backed himself up more into the corner with his knees curling up into his chest. wander gazed at him continuously once he got in front of him.

hater did the opposite of wander, looking everywhere but him. he sweat in nervousness as an anxious expression crept up into his face, furrowing his eyebrows.

the infatuated nomad softly continued gazing into the embarrassed and nervous skeletons eyes, sometimes taking his eyes off of his to look at other details on his face. the smile on his face grew the more he looked.

this only made haters heart beat faster. he didnt know what he was so nervous for anymore, having the weird strange feeling in his stomach rise up in him again. a feeling he practically never felt before he met wander and can never describe. using the sole of his shoe he pushed wander away, only for him to come back again.

he tried to wipe off the newfound anxious smile growing on his face with his arm, rubbing it afterwards.

"um-"

the lightning horned figure turned to face the corner, holding his heated face with both hands in hopes the other being in the room would go away. a few minutes passed and he slowly started to relax, his muscles untensing and the warmth in his face barely there. he wondered where the nomad was before he jumped from him beginning to embrace him suddenly with no reason.

feeling the warmth from wanders body on him, he immediately frowned hard as the blush stuck back on his face and his heart quickly began to pump adrenaline through him again. a war started in his head, one side wanting to be let go, the other wanting to stay like this. it made him angry and confused on why he wanted wander to continue when he knew he wanted him to stop.

with little strength, he used his elbow and tried pushing him away. wander, instead of letting go, tightened his hug and laid his head on his shoulder. hater grumbled softly, moving as close as he can to the corner, only moving atleast a centimeter closer. the two stayed like that for a few, it slowly creeping its way up to being the record for the longest hug without hater pushing wander away angrily.

hater, during the prolonged embrace from the small cuddly nomad, began to feel more comfortable by the touch, usually being uncomfortable with it. though he did start to wonder why wander hasnt let go and stopped the hug. he wasnt complaining either. it actually felt a bit nice to be hugged by him, he always thought this before the current sitch. he would never admit that out loud verbally, his actions took care of that. he relaxed his body and leaned against the wall as a not too noticeable smile appeared on haters face. he closed his eyes and quietly hummed with content, filling the silence.

wander, who was resting on haters shoulder felt the latter move, opening his eyes and seeing the other being smile softly. it wasnt until hater began humming which made wanders heart explode from how cute he thought hater was being. it hit him that hater actually stayed in his embrace and liked it, which practically told him that he really didnt hate him after all and made him smirk widely. he made a 'hm' sound.

hearing the small noise from the nomad, he snapped back to reality, stopped smiling and opened his eyes, looking to his side where wander was staring, smirking widely at him.

"you do like me, dont you hater?"

confidently teased with a low 'i knew it' tone, he persisted with his facial expression.

the skeletons face heat up a smidgen. he then scoffed and rolled his eyes, trying to cover everything up as he turned his head away from the nomad.

"pshh- no... saying i like you is a bit muuu..n-NOOOT THAT I LIKETHEHUGORANYTHINGGETOFFOFME!!!!!!!!!!"

realizing what he just said, the lord whined loudly at wander, his voice getting high pitched as he yelled, prying the furry fellow off himself. he grabbed wander and threw him across the room and grabbed his hood with both hands, hitting himself with his fists.

wander landed perfectly on his feet like a cat, staring at lord hater who was berating himself.

"hatey, its okay..."

he walked back to him cautiously.

"its okay to like hugs..."

"SHUT UP OR YOURE GONNA MAKE ME FEEL WEIRD AGAI-"

he covered his mouth before he finished his sentence, though it didnt erase what he just blurted out.

"AAAAGHHGH!!!!!!!!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!"

hater gripped his horns, his face heating up furiously as he scrunched up more in the corner he was facing.

wander, now right behind him, blinked a few times after he said that, processing what he said.

"hater..?"

he lightly touched haters shoulder, the latter jumping slightly.

"...what exactly do you feel??.."

the distressed being didnt respond, hugging his knees and turning his head a bit as he had his face faced downwards.

wander looked at hater as he waited for a response. once he knew the latter wasnt gonna respond he sighed and sat down next to him against the wall.

he continued staring at the curled up lord who hid himself and began thinking about what he meant by what he just said. wander felt it was what he thought it was, now just thinking deeply about it. that was until hater unexpectedly spoke up.

"...u-uh..."

he looked up a bit, staring at the wall in front of him. wander can see how red he was. hater tried to voice something, making small noises. he wanted to tell wander about his feelings from earlier. unfortunately for him, he lost the second war in his head that fought about telling him or not, but he wasnt able to put it in words that made it make sense. he growled and then furrowed his eyebrows.

"i-i cant..."

"cant what?"

wander put his hand on haters arm, hater looking down at it and staring at the skull ring on his finger, getting flustered a bit more.

"put it into words i-"

sighing, he laid his head down again before picking it up again.

"i dont know... your fuzzy dumbass makes me so..angry and confused."

he inhaled softly

"...and strange. i hate this weird feeling. i hate you."

his eyebrows furrowed more as he felt himself get warmer than before when he glanced at wander for a single second.

a small smile appeared when hater finally began to tell wander about his feelings, he also saw the reddening of the other being as he glanced at him.

he hummed as he began to figure out how to help hater realize his new feelings without getting him to freak out about it, already knowing what was going on with him, something he fully understood. wanders face heat up a bit as he thought about it; hater having a possible crush on him.

"well..what exactly do you feel hater?? i want to understand what you feel so i can help you."

"AGWHHG LIKE THIS I DONT KNOW!!!"

he moved his hands up and down, pointing to his anxious demeanor as he raised his voice.

"nervous, warm, sweaty- i-i dont know okay??!"

"...uh huh... so..you only felt this today, right now? any other times with similar feelings or no?? how long???"

"...uh-um. i-i guess there are a few other times..a while ago..or something. atleast a few months after meeting you. why am i even..."

hater shook his head. he sighed as he pushed wanders hand off him, criss crossing as he held his head up with his hand, looking down.

"stupid..obsession with you... i cant resist wanting to chase you and destroy you. it makes me so angry. i cant stop thinking about you either... yo-you make me..just... m-my heart beats fast and i get all warm inside."

now covering his face in embarrassment of admitting that, he turned his back to wander.

wanders face slowly heat up, smiling brightly at hater.

"you said you dont know what this feeling is..right?"

"mm"

"well..."

the nomad took a small portion of air and put it into his lungs.

"do you know what being in love is hater?"

wander eyed hater from behind, awaiting his answer. he knew he was oblivious to these type of things so he helped him with realizing, doubting he figure it out right then and there.

"yeah. its when you look at someone and think their pretty and want to kiss them..."

the happy-go-lucky fellow softly chuckled at the response, pretty much expecting it from someone like him.

"its a lot more than that hatey... its when..the person youre in love with makes you feel happy, making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when youre around them. youd also get nervous when their around. you have an emotional connection with them..."

he spat out meanings and examples as lord hater began to process what he said. it took about a great 5-10 minutes before hater finally realized he loved wander.

wander was sitting there with his hands clasped together before he heard shuffling from the lord besides him, now looking at him. hater had his head up and was staring at the wall for a while before he got up suddenly. he inhaled sharply.

"...sooo... i uh- i forgot to c-captain tim the dishwash an-and thats impetulant..so i-i-iiiIIIII GOTTAGOBYE!!!!!!!!!"

dashing to the locked door in fear and panic he tried to open it, fumbling with the knob.

"LET ME OOOOOUUUTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

wander immediately got up and went to hater in alarm.

"hater??!"

"NO."

hater fell dramatically on the floor with a thump, holding his hands up in front of him, shielding himself.

"G-GET AWAY FROM ME. YOURE WANDERIZING ME, YOURE WANDERIZING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

wander took a few steps back.

"its okay to be in love!!! i-im not mad or judging you!!!!"

hater went into another corner, curling back up and banging his head on his knees. he wanted so bad to be in denial with his newfound feelings but it became increasingly hard to do so.

the worried nomad studied hater, trying to come up with something to calm him down. he then took atleast a step closer and sat in front of him.

"hater, look. its okay. im not 'wanderizing' you or anything... you feel this way all on your own."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW??!"

"...well im not sure what wanderizing exactly is but uh..youd be acting different if i did do that?"

wander shrugged in confusion.

thinking for a few seconds, what wander told hater actually helped him. hater sighed in defeat as he thought that that made 'logical sense' and slumped against the corner. he crossed his arms and looked at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact with the nomad.

sighing, he laid his hands on haters knees, looking over them and beginning to gaze at the skeletons ashamed and embarrassed expression smeared on his face.

he continued staring, before breaking the silence by speaking up in a soft, gentle tone.

"...you know, im not gonna think any less of you for feeling this way..about me... i wouldnt ever think any less."

wander stayed silent for a second. he then began to smile softly.

"im actually proud of you."

hater widened his eyes and turned his head swiftly to look at wander as his heart skipped a beat from the compliment, the first he finally accepted from the latter and acknowledged as genuine. wander was beaming with euphoria as his eyes began to get watery, beginning to shakily speak to him.

"so, so proud of you..."

he began to shed tears of joy, putting his arms criss cross on top haters knees and laid on them, the side of wanders face smooshing.

"i-i... you... youve gotten so far from when i first met you a few years back..."

wander sniffled and wiped his tears on his arms, suddenly jumping onto hater and laid on his chest as he tightly hugged him.

"im genuinely very proud of you hater..."

he spat out shakily as his voice got higher while he cried on hater.

hater jumped and raised his arms. his eyes widened more at the sudden quick action from the nomad, his heart beating once again right after. he really didnt know how to feel about the current situation; he was utterly confused, lost. he never experienced these type of things before he met wander. though the only difference now is that he accepted wanders sincere affection, which he kinda didnt know how to react to still.

hater, with a befuddled expression; furrowing his eyebrows and his mouth almost agape, looked down at the nomad, who laid on haters chest with a small smile as there were still a bit of tears in his eyes, not running.

before he knew it, he found himself getting a bit teary from the compliment, it being a late reaction as he began smiling softly with wander. his face heat up as the warm fuzzy feeling spread across his body, his smile growing bigger by the second. he looked away and slowly let his arms down, letting them rest against wander as he leisurely pat wanders head, it being a non verbal thanks and a way to comfort him aswell.

wander tightened his hug as his smile got bigger, curling up and nuzzling against haters chest. he laid there, listening to his heart beat furiously beneath his red and black outfit as his head got pat.

the two laid there for a while, it seeming like it was forever, starting to cuddle as hater wrapped his arms around wander aswell and laid his head on top of him, them falling asleep on eachother with eachother.

---

ASGHH THATS ALL anyways if u made it this far, CONGRATS HERES UR PRIZE (silly thing made by me)

[mitsuristoleme]

I just saw your requests are open so I might as well jump in BECAUSE SKDNDNSN ok buttttt what about sukuna + his tummy having a mind of its own BEFORE you were their wife, like, you know nothing about this man but everytime you come in sigh you hear the most direct cat calling you've come across only to see a man with an expression of "God kill me now" so you don't know what's happening but it makes you really curious so you just... Provoke him? Like, use revealing clothing, put on an expensive perfume, etc. AAAH I Just love that hc of his stomach mouth having a mind of its own istg aaaa

a/n: ok so im gonna write this in a modern au because lets be real heian era Sukuna did NOT care about dating/courting

formatted into a bullet point headcannon post because im having way too much fun with this and nothing is connected in a cohesive form (pls forgive me for that but my brain is going ham with this concept)

cw: gn!reader, cursing, sexual content, bestie!gojo, Sukuna’s tummy mouth is a menace but wbk

imagine you’re a teacher at jujutsu high and a special grade sorcerer (because i enjoy feeling strong and this is a little self indulgent) (yall can choose if you want to be gojo’s classmate or nanami’s it doesn’t really impact anything)

Sukuna gets reincarnated without a vessel (dont ask me how it just happens ok) and to everyone’s surprise, he volunteers to be an instructor at jujutsu high

he says its to “make these pathetic kids somewhat decent sorcerers so they dont ruin the name of jujutsu”

for whatever reason, the higher ups assign him a spot among the teachers at the school

imagine your shock when this 1000 year old 7 foot tall motherfucker shows in the middle of your class to introduce himself as the new teacher

you’d heard about his whole situation but you didn’t expect him to show up in the middle of a lesson

you attempt to shoo him away but he doesn’t even move (i mean what did you expect really?) and you’re forced to end class early

weirdly enough he keeps a hand clamped over his stomach the entire exchange?? you chalk it down to a stomach ache or something (that night you do wonder if curses, or er, the king of curses, even get physical pains)

ok so before i get into the whole thing lemme just-

in my head, the tummy mouth has the humour of a middle school boy and the self control of the dog from ‘absolutely anything’

so yk. its a mess.

you see him the next day in the staff room

hes wearing a starched white shirt (it accommodates all his four arms and you question how he got one made in a single day) and a pair of fitted slacks, looking WAY too good for a curse

you realise you’ve been staring through the glass window if the staff room and finally enter

only to be greeted by a LOUD wolf whistle followed by a “OOOOH HEY HOT THANG” in the deepest, raspiest, most demonic ass voice you’ve ever heard

sukuna looks like he wants to kill himself.

he gets up and leaves the room immediately

you hear the a faint “NO GO BACK AND FLIRT WITH THEM YOU WIMP ASS HOE” in the same demonic voice as he stalks away

and you’re standing there

wondering what the actual fuck just happened

did you just experience harassment in your workplace?? but his mouth never even moved???

Gojo enters the staff room right after Sukuna vanishes and you IMMEDIATELY fill him in on whatever happened in hopes that he would have any explanation

hes confused, curious and amused all the same time

this doesnt mean hes of any help though

no, the piece if shit just laughs at you and goes off to terrorise the first years take class

before leaving he very unhelpfully reminds you that you have to share classes with Sukuna today

you enter the classroom a couple minutes before the students (you literally have 4 students and one of them is a panda god knows what the point of 2 teachers for such a small class is) and find Sukuna already in the room, leaning back on the chair, his legs resting on the table, eyes closed

once again

looking WAY too fine

just as you internally celebrate that nothing weird happened THE SAME OLD DEMONIC VOICE booms a “DAMN BABY YOU LOOK FINE, CMON LEMME TAKE YA HOME”

“wha- I- Eh??? I’m sorry what the fuhck?!?” you sputter, eyes wide

Sukuna has leaped up from his chair, a mixture of embarrassment and murderous rage on his face

he hisses a “shut the fuck up” in the vague direction of his abdomen before turning to you and apologising

“i am so sorry,” he says sheepishly “i owe you an explanation at the very least after two incidents”

“OI DONT APOLOGISE ASK THEM OUT THEY’RE HOT AND I KNOW YOU THINK SO TOO”

“I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING SEW YOU SHUT IF YOU DONT STAY FUCKING QUIET”

and once again. you’re standing there. shook.

Sukuna turns to you again with an expression that clearly says ‘Gods please strike me down right now’ and asks if you know about him having multiple body parts

you’ve heard of the legends and stories: four eyes, four arms and mouths he can will to appear wherever he wants, so you nod

“Well it just so happens that the mouth on my stomach is sentient, and extremely vulgar. Although i’m sure you noticed the latter.”

his voice is a wonderful contrast to that of his tummy mouth

deep, melodic and smooth

he just got even more attractive.

fuck.

you realise you haven’t given him a response and nod dumbly muttering out a quick “uh-huh”

thankfully the students enter at that moment saving you from any awkwardness

what you have recently come to identify as Sukuna’s tummy mouth stays blissfully quiet throughout the class and shockingly enough the silence on the belly front continues throughout the day as you discuss lesson plans with your ridiculously hot coworker

that night as you’re getting ready for bed, you remember the exchange between Sukuna and his appendage (specifically the part about Sukuna thinking you’re hot) and a mischievous idea forms in your brain (hey gojo satoru’s influence was bound to kick in at some point)

the next day you leave the top few buttons of your work shirt undone and put on some of the pheromone perfume you got as a gag gift in an (what you presume to be potentially successful) effort to rile Sukuna up (lets be real you think hes pretty damn hot too)

clap yourself on the back for that one bestie because the second you enter the staff room, Sukuna’s eyes nearly bulge out of his skull and the tummy mouth starts BARKING

and drooling apparently (how do you know? well maybe because the front of sukuna’s pristine white dress shirt is now sopping wet)

“WIFE THEM UP I SWEAR TO-“

the sound of a coffee cup shattering interrupts whatever was gonna come after that

you’re met with Nanami’s incredibly unimpressed gaze

without saying anything he leaves the room, muttering, “its too early for whatever the fuck this is”

well.

that happened.

yall get together eventually

gojo tells you “i knew you wanted to fuck him”

before you can come up with any sort of response, your boyfriend’s stomach pipes in with a “OH HE DEFINITELY WANTED TO FUCK THEM”

this is your life now.

good luck.

a/n: HI IM HERE TOO THIS TIME!! i left the ‘getting together part kinda up to interpretation because im shit at writing the ‘getting together’ arcs but we’re gonna pretend like it was because i want you to be able to go wild with whatever you want

please dont copy or repost my work without my permission

comments and reblogs are appreciated

check out my masterlist

dividers by @/vanillekiss