#whatever idek why I’m writing all this

[yourqueenb]

I used to love to dance and I lowkey still do, but I feel like I’m somehow even more in my head now than I used to be because I also find it so cringe and it doesn’t make sense. Like? What do you mean I have to do this in front of other people when I go out??? Or when I’m at home and see some good choreo online, thinking about actually starting and stopping the video to learn the moves and putting in the effort to practice them alone is so 🤢😬😖🫣

[evansbby]

I love the poyt series BUT PLS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KILL STEVE OR ANYTHNG LIKE I SERIOUSLY HATE HIM. AND NO AMOUNT OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT CAN SAVE HIM. LIKE I WAS SEETHING IN THE LAST CHAPTER OF HOW QUICKLY WE JUST FORGIVE HIM??? LIKE TF it's always like this i'm sick of reading stories where the man lead does shitty things and the female forgives him for the bare minimum. PLS MAKE YOUR EXCELLENT FIC DIFF THAN OTHERS AND MAKE THAT MAN MISERABLE AND GIVE US A HAPPY ENDING NOT WITH HIM!! Thanks!

Your opinion is completely valid and I’m glad your so invested in the fic but please do trust me!

[thir10th]

Stepping in - October writing challenge day 5

summary: Emily Prentiss is full of secrets, even when you think you have the key to all of them, she still manages to surprise you. tw: idek why i bother adding these anymore, but anyway, just a pit suggestive towards the end a/n: this one’s a bit shorter, sorry for that. I also might take a break from this if this one flops too. If you want me to keep writing then remember any kind of feedback is greatly appreciated!

"Honey! I'm home" you sing-sang entering through the door of her apartment. Emily doesn't answer, just like she hadn't answered the bell that you pressed before using the key she had given you to enter yourself.

"Emily! I got takeout, and a piece of cake for dessert." You try again, still no answer

"I was gonna bring wine, but I thought you would have better choices than whatever i could come up with, anyway" you try again, still no answer.

Leaving the bags on the kitchen table, you say hello to Sergio, who welcomes you by wrapping himself around your legs "Hey bud, where's your mom?" you ask him, scratching his head.

Still nothing, of course Sergio hadn't answered, not even meowed, so you walk around trying to find your girlfriend, wondering if she had gone out.

On your way through the hall, you notice the muffled sound of water running, and you follow it to the bathroom to finally find your girlfriend in the shower.

However, it's the other sound that surprises you, along with the shower, you can hear Emily's voice, and she is singing to herself, her voice soft and sweet, but she's fully into it, unaware that you have entered the apartment, and that you're listening.

You lean against the bathroom door, grinning at the soft and melodic sound of your girlfriends voice. You can't help but to feel a bit guilty about taking a peak like that, but you can't really help it, you had never heard Emily sing.

“Oh wow, so this is where you’ve been hiding your secret talent.” you finally say.

Emily's singing abruptly stops when she finally hears you “What the—?! You were eavesdropping?�� she says startled by your sudden intrusion.

You laugh, opening the door just a crack “Eavesdropping? No, just appreciating the unexpected concert. You have a beautiful voice, you know.”

She mocks groaning, but you can hear her laughing “Ugh, no way. It’s terrible. Now I’m embarrassed.”

“Well, now that you’ve been caught, you might as well finish the song. You can’t leave your audience hanging.” You tease her.

“Oh, you want a private performance, huh?” Emily says playfully.

You lean against the doorframe. “I mean, I wouldn't say no.”

"Hey and by the way, what are you doing here, sneaking around? Thought I locked the door.” She says, trying to change the subject.

You smirk as you take a step inside the bathroom “I have a key, remember? Thought I’d surprise you with some takeout, but you’re the one full of surprises, I mean, how could i not know you sang in the shower baby?” You still can't shake your excitement of your new discovery away.

“Okay, maybe I do sing sometimes… when I think I’m alone. But you can’t tell anyone.” She says, peaking out from behind the shower screen with a grin.

“Your secret’s safe with me, as long as I get an encore.” you tease, crossing your arms.

“Why do I feel like I’m gonna regret giving you a key?” she says mocking an exasperated sigh.

You step closer “You love it and you know it.”

“You’re right. I do.” her voice lowers playfully “And I love it even more when you show up like this, without warning.”

“Oh, yeah?” you tild your head, amused.

“Yeah. You know… we still have time before dinner. Why don’t you get in here with me?” Her tone turns suggestive, her hand reaching out to you.

You raise an eyebrow, pretending to sound hesitant “Hmm, I don’t know… I mean, I came all the way here for you to sing to me, not the other way around.”

Emily laughs and shakes her head, tugging you gently closer “Trust me, I’ll make it worth your while.” her voice drops even lower “Now get in here before I drag you in myself.”

“Well, when you put it like that…” you grin, leaning into her touch.

She is already eager, her hands slipping to the hem of your shirt, tugging it up “Let me help you with that.” her hands move quickly, gently, undressing you with a soft urgency.

You laugh softly as she pulls your shirt off “Wow, you’re not wasting any time, huh?”

Emily grinning as she continues undressing you, her voice soft but teasing “Nope. I’ve got you here now, and I’m not letting you get away that easily.”

You step into the shower with her, the warm water cascading over both of you “I guess I should interrupt your shower more often.”

Emily wraps her arms around you, pulling you in closer “You should. But next time, maybe warn me. Or don’t… I kind of like being caught off guard.”

“Good to know.” you say, smiling against her lips.

Emily kisses you back eagerly, her hands exploring your skin under the water “Now… where were we?”

The warm water streams down as Emily pulls you closer, her arms wrapping securely around your waist, her lips barely leaving yours. She finally breaks the kiss, leaning back just enough to look into your eyes, her hands resting on your hips.

“You know,” she murmurs, her voice soft and filled with affection, “you walking into my apartment like it’s yours… it drives me crazy. In the best way.”

You smile, brushing a strand of wet hair away from her face. “I mean, it kinda feels like home now.”

Emily’s eyes soften even more at your words. She presses a kiss to your forehead. “It is your home, whenever you want it to be.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[k4marina]

guesss who’s back to rantttttt 🙈

adding into this, i feel that simon wearing his mask (with the diy skull and the printed one) would do the complete opposite of being a ghost like literally. technically, simon riley is dead. he died in a fire with his family and the last thing he needs or wants is attention.

i mean can u imagine the rumors going around?

“that bloke who wears that skull mask? he’s bare weird man” (idek if that proper slang, pls don’t kill me).

i also feel like it would also bring unwanted people from his work to his home (or the little hole he lives in. i mean let’s be honest, it’s pretty fkn bare). there aren’t many people who are british, have a gravely voice, AND wear a skull mask. i mean that’s an easy target right there.

i don’t think that simon would introduce himself in a civilian setting as “ghost”. if a guy came up to me and said “call me ghost” i’d fkn laugh in his face and call him a bozo.

why would he introduce himself with his callsign if he isn’t in the “work” environment???? again that’s just unwanted attention.

i 100% believe that simon and the rest of the 141 are the types to have a work life and a civilian life. he wouldn’t want to bring any of the shit he has to go through at work back to his hole home.

as much as he hates being alone back in manchester, he still needs it. he needs a break from all of the war he has to go through.

ghost and simon are two different entities with two different lives and just because simon riley is dead on paper doesn’t mean he’s actually gone.

simon knows that if he brings ghost back home he’s only hurting himself and falling into a bottomless pit.

that’s why he wouldn’t wear the mask in public or anytime he’s on leave (unless it’s his home and there has to be a very specific reason why), and that’s why he wouldn’t walk around telling people his callsign.

unless the fic is taking place on base with a soldier!reader, there is no actual reason why simon would wear the mask and go by ghost.

ghost & mask = work

simon & and bare face = home or just civilian life.

there’s no reason why he would want to mix work and civilian life together.

and if people can say that he’s insecure about his face and don’t want to show it off, but i’d have to disagree. i mean did u hear him when he was talking with soap?

bro was 100% smiling like a cocky little shit when he said “quiet the opposite”. this mfer knows that he’s hot and enjoys it. in my delulu mind, i think simon enjoys whatever scars are on his face because he thinks they make him more hotter (i also don’t think he has that many scars on his face bc i think it’s one of the hardest places to attack idk).

that’s still not to say that he won’t get the usual waves of depression and the usual stares from people for his beauty and scars, but he’d still take it over the weird looks when he gets when he wears the mask.

technically speaking, no matter how attractive, it’s harder to remember someone with a pretty face and accurately described it than remember a mask and describe it, which i think simon understands completely.

someone also brought up the cut scene before the “no russian” one of where simons and the 141 are in the bar and he’s wearing the mask.

i have to agree with the person who said this that people saw that and took it face value that he wears the mask outside. not everything is lore, or is it 100% cannon. sometimes some things are for shits and giggles.

if you’ve read it this far i just wanna let y’all’s know i’m not trying to be mean. i’m just ranting. i’m all for creative freedom and wanting ppl to write whatever they want, i just want it to make sense yk? and if i came off bitch my bad bro.

anyways imma go sleep or smt. caio ;)

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

•·.· anywhere i want, just not home ·.·•

Pairing: Gwen Stacy x fem!Reader

Type: Angst (no comfort)

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: ‘Gwen’s universe dissolves’ AU (may not make much sense but anyway), reader is dead (dissolved along with her universe), use of Y/N (sparingly), some cussing, mentions of blood, descriptions of grief(?)

A/N: hehe I think I’m starting to enjoy killing off the reader in angsty stuff 😌 hey i may not be very good at writing angst but it’s fun to write :D

I think this is set before the events of ATSV or sometime during except there’s no Miles? Idek anymore 🤷‍♀️ whatever feels right to u ig!

So I just realised I didn’t mention her dad at all 😭 just uh pretend that she’s grieving for him too

Look at how my tears ricochet

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

(my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift)

“It’ll only be for a few weeks, at the maximum.”

You were pacing in your bedroom, occasionally pausing to make sure that the girl sitting on your bed in her spider-suit still had enough ice to soothe the sting of her injuries.

“Gwen, I…” You shook your head, throwing your hands up in the air as words failed you - a result of the maelstrom of conflicting emotions whirling around in your head at the speed of light. “I don’t know what to say. Why? Why do you need to do this? You’re putting yourself in even more danger than usual!”

Gwen set the ice pack down on your bedside table, reaching her hand out silently toward you. You sighed and took it, squeezing her fingers gently as you sat across from her and felt the mattress dip slightly under you as you got comfortable.

“Trust me, sweetheart, I don’t like this any more than you do. But Miguel said that this mission’s important and he needs all the help he can get. This anomaly is one of the most dangerous ones so we’ve ever seen so far, we can’t let it run rampant. You understand what I’m saying, right?”

You bit your lip in thought, feeling small tears prick at the corners of your eyes as she leaned over to gently tug your lip away from your teeth to stop you worrying at the skin. Your mind seemed to be spinning in lopsided circles like a broken ballet dancer; like the music box Gwen used to have before she accidentally shattered it one day while sneaking back into her room as Spider-Woman.

“I’m going to be honest with you. I’m terrified. I don’t want you to…” You vaguely gestured with your hands in front of you, catching yourself before you could say the word ‘die’ as if it could somehow jinx it and make it come true. Gwen gave you a small, reassuring smile and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“I know. I know, sweets. I won’t. I’ll be fine.”

“You can’t promise that,” You mumbled under your breath, folding into her and burying your face in the junction between her neck and shoulder.

Gwen exhaled softly, rubbing your back in the most soothing way she could so that her own uncertainty couldn’t slip through the cracks of her calm façade.

“Hey, don’t think like that. Tell you what, take this. It’ll remind you of me while I’m gone, and then when I come back we’ll order in whatever junk food we want and we’ll cuddle and watch movies, okay?” She reached down into her backpack that lay sideways on the floor and took out two bracelets. Your eyes flitted toward the bracelets and you took in a surprised inhale.

“You kept them?”

“Of course I did. They’re beautiful, like everything you make for me.”

She gave you a grin as she slipped one of the bracelets over your wrist. You examined it - smooth, round crystal beads with your name spelled out in mismatched word beads of different colours.

You remembered the day you had made them, sitting on the ground in the park with your legs crossed and Gwen’s head resting comfortably in your lap as she watched you string together the beads. Giggling and talking and just enjoying each other’s company.

Now that could possibly be the last time that happened. Because despite Gwen’s well-meaning promises and reassurances, you knew. You knew she was struggling to keep herself together, and all you wanted to do was pull her close and never let her go - hell, you would gladly go beat up whoever this Miguel O’Hara was if it meant your girl could stay with you, stay out of harm’s way.

But that wasn’t possible. And she wouldn’t want it either. She didn’t ask to get bitten by a radioactive spider and become a superhero; she just had to make the most of the cards she was dealt.

“Y/N?”

You blinked, bringing yourself out of your thoughts. “Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?”

Gwen tilted her head to the side, resting her eyes on your wrist before reaching out to slip the bracelet off. You watched her curiously as she slipped the bracelet that had her own name onto your wrist, taking the bracelet with your name and nestling it right next to her multidimensional watch.

“There. Now whenever you miss me, just look at that.” She leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, clinking your bracelets together with a smile. “Goodbye, my love. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” You watched her zip up her backpack and put on her mask, leaping onto your windowsill and pushing the window open. Right before she tensed herself to leap out, she paused, turning to look at you. Her mask was on, but you could read her expression behind the fabric easily. She gave you a smile, the corners of the mask’s eyes scrunching slightly.

“This isn’t a permanent goodbye, not by a long shot. I love you. I’ll see you again, I promise. And when I do I’m going to give you the biggest bear hug you’ve ever had in your life.”

——————

She never did.

Never got the chance to fulfill that promise.

She had gotten the news right after finally capturing the anomaly they had been chasing for more than three weeks. She was lying utterly exhausted on a park bench, Pav leaning on her with his eyes closed as they both waited for Hobie to punch in the coordinates for the Spider-Society HQ.

She remembered hearing the little ping that usually accompanied a message from HQ, the way he had momentarily frozen in shock, his border going black and white. She remembered sitting up, ignoring Pav’s grumbles and asking what had happened, because Hobie’s ever-changing border pausing in a monochrome filter was never a good sign.

She remembered him visibly struggling to grasp at words that would soften the blow, finally realizing that he couldn’t, in any way, sugarcoat it.

“I don’t know ‘ow to say this, but uh… another ultra-powerful anomaly fell into the city an’ managed to glitch itself so badly in the process tha’ it caused a dimensional tear in the multiverse an’… your universe dissolved, Gwendy. ‘M so sorry... listen, if you need anyth-”

She didn’t hear anything more after that, didn’t hear or feel Pav’s sharp inhale and Hobie gently squeezing her shoulder; instead she focused her gaze on the bracelet on her wrist, trying to push back against the dark spots threatening to bleed into the corners of her vision like pesky, taunting watercolours.

Bullshit. That had to be false, right? There was no way…

——————

Gwen would’ve given anything for Hobie to have gotten it wrong.

But, in some strange way, she could sense that he was right. Something missing, like a family photo which had been accidentally ripped in half. A rose with half its petals missing.

Red roses, red blood. Blood that was on no one’s hands, really, but felt like it had dried on hers. Her fault, even though the causes were so much bigger than her.

She had been cleaning out her stuff, trying her best to organize her somehow even messier side of Hobie’s canal boat when a small bracelet, nestled under pins and papers and god knows what else, had fallen onto the ground with a soft clink.

It was a miracle it didn’t break, honestly, which would have been cruel but oddly fitting.

She knelt to pick it up, freezing the moment her gaze passed over it. She picked it up gingerly, smoothing her fingers over the beads, her lips forming the word spelled out in beads on the bracelet.

“Y/N.”

At that one word, a dam burst and brought forth months of stubborn denial, steady grief, and then slow acceptance. Gwen braced her back against the wall, silent sobs wracking her body and making her shoulders heave with the force of them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I… I should’ve been there, I might have been able to do something, or at the very least… I could’ve been there with you.”

She let her forehead drop to rest on her knees, drawing into herself. “I miss you. So, so much… nothing’s the same. Hobie’s looking out for me, but… there’s only so much he can help with. Nothing seems all that happy anymore… everyday I get up and ask myself ‘why doesn’t the sun shine as bright anymore?’ ‘Why aren’t the flowers as beautiful as they used to be?’ ‘Where did all the colour go?’ And then I remember that you’re not here with me.”

Gwen held the bracelet up to the light, letting its colours - so carefully picked out by a loving hand all those months ago - shine as tears blurred her vision and fell like crystals slipping from a shaky chandelier that should’ve broken a while ago, for its own sake.

“I want to go home,” She confessed to the bracelet quietly; the empathetic ear of someone she wished - no, hoped - was listening from the other side of the fragile border between life and death. “I miss the café we used to go to, right after I had band practise. I miss our little dates in the park. I miss seeing you in the front row of all our band’s shows. You were so supportive, weren’t you? Always showing up early, cheering your lungs out, then staying late so you could be the first to hug me. Without fail.”

God, how she missed your hugs. They were ones that she could melt into; surrender herself completely without having to offer anything in return. Ones she could fold herself into while your arms wrapped around her shoulders and squeezed gently, soothing enough for her to relax and sink into the comfort of your presence. You felt like a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and a warm blanket to her - somewhere where she could let down any walls she had built around herself, tune out the world and just listen to your voice.

To her, you felt like home.

And oh, how she wanted to go home.

@l0starl @therealloopylupin2099 @hobiebrownismygod

[the-inheritance-games]

Ok so I was going to post my theory on why I thought jlb was going to announce a new book/novella as the last card later today but then of course this amazing fandom somehow got a synopsis and found it on good reads idek how, but I was going to post this breakdown from evidence I gathered from stalking jlb’s insta but now I’m posting it to show a timeline of when she was Writting this book and how much of a mastermind jlb is.

This going to be long so buckle in

Ok so let’s begin on October 3 2022, jlb announces TBH as the new book in the TIG universe, single handedly returning my will to live after the heartbreak I endured when Grayson ended up even more sad and alone in TFG 😭

Then we fast forward to Dec. 14 2022, we see that jlb is Writting the Grandest games.

Fast forward even more and we start getting updates about how the book is going and about her Writting process (scroll 2)

And then on March 10 2023, she turns in the first draft of TGG

This is where things get interesting, mind you at this point we know about TBH and TGG openly, but she starts talking about another secret project she’s working on, using #secret project, (March 20, 2023) (scroll 3)

She also says that she has been working on this on and off for 2.5 years (from March 2023), which if you go back is late 2020-early 2021. Which also happens to be right around the same time she was writting THL (wrote tig in 2019, released in 2020, wrote thl in 2020, released in 2021, etc)

Why is this fact important?

Bc jlb has openly stated that thl is the book she has planted the most clues/ Easter eggs in. It’s also arguably the best and most important book in the triology. (Argue with the wall if you disagree)

It’s the book where we get the most backstory and information on who this family is. I can imagine jlb Writting the book and delving into this world and, for example Toby’s past and his relationship to Avery’s mom and her past, and coming up with all these ideas she can’t really write into thl in much detail bc those events where in the past.

If she started Writting this novella, backstory, prequel, whatever during this time it would make total sense. It would also give her a chance to answer all those unanswered questions that where left while also doing us some fan service.

Now fast forward, she keeps updating on the grandest games and at the same time posting about writting this secret project, but most recently (February 7 2024) she posted this

She states that her secret project, the novella book that she has been Writting, her secret, is not going to be a secret for much longer, just a week before the vault opened, and 13 days (in Taylor swift we trust) before this all happens.

It was right there infront of us and yet we didn’t see it coming.

So yeah, she’s been Writting this book and compilation of stories for a while now, starting from when she was Writting thl. I was going to use this convince y’all her secret was a book could be a prequel but I don’t have to anymore but still I find it so interesting and I just got this out of my drafts bc why not. I had a hunch for a while but this is honestly better than I could have imagined, if it is what we are seeing :)

[sethsclearwater]

request: “Hey so this has been my go-to daydream for days and I’m hoping you’ll want to write it bc you’re Wolfpack queen. Embry imprinted on reader and she was scared to accept the imprint at first so he was really worried but now she’s got to know him and the pack a bit more so she tells him she’ll accept it and he’s just all relieved and happy. Idek if that’s how imprinting works canonically but the hurt/comfort vibes keep me up at night💔💔❤️❤️” and “omg plssssss do a blurb or imagine or whatever where embry imprints on reader and it’s super angsty because she doesn’t know if she wants it or not because they’re just friends but quickly realizes she does love him and shows up at his door and tells him she’ll accept the imprint and they’re both just so relieved.”

warnings: none

notes: super short but cutie

word count: 830

…

you and embry call had been friends for quite some time, but it wasn’t until a few years after you’d initially met that you found out about the wolves and the whole imprinting thing. it was an accident really, you went over to embry’s house when he had told you not to come and ended up walking in just as he phased for the first time.

obviously, you were quite freaked out by the whole thing and so was he. what you weren’t expecting though, was for him to imprint on you and (sort of) fuck up both of your lives to the point that you couldn’t ever have any kind of meaningful romantic relationship with anyone but each other.

when he sat you down and explained everything to you, you were very apprehensive about the whole thing, not particularly interested in hearing about it but also not interested in the pain that came with being away from him for an extended period of time. ultimately though, your brain won and you left his house to get some much-needed space to clear your head.

you only made it 2 days before it became too much to bear and you found yourself outside embry’s door again. before you could change your mind and go back to your car, embry had pulled the door open, “y/n,” he breathed, both of you letting out heavy exhales when you saw each other.

“i’m sorry.” you whispered, eyes filling with tears and bottom lip warbling as you took him in. he looked about as rough as you, both of you not totally sure what to do or what to say to one another.

finding no words, embry just opened his arms which you gladly stepped into, bursting into tears as you wrapped your arms around each other, holding on as tight as you could, “you’re okay, you’re okay,” embry murmured against your hair, gently rocking you from side to side.

you whimpered, sniffling, and brushed your tears away with the back of your hand, “why does it hurt so much?” you whispered, peeking up at him as another wave of tears rolled down your cheeks.

embry’s gaze softened when he looked at you, letting out a soft sigh before he responded, “jus’ need to be near each other is all. won’t hurt soon, i promise.” he explained, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to keep his own emotions in check for your sake. 

“i didn’t mean to make you think i don’t love you,” you whispered, anxiously scanning his features as you waited for his response. you’d said you loved embry multiple times now, but never in a situation as intense as this one so embry took a moment to let your words sink in.

“you love me?” embry asked softly, almost as if he didn’t believe what you’d said just a few moments ago.

you nodded, sniffling as you took a deep breath, “i do love you.” you reiterated, “a lot more than i thought i did.” you added with a whisper.

embry let out a relieved exhale, “i love you too.” he whispered, “a lot more than i thought i did.” he repeated your words, both of you letting out breathy laughs at his confession.

finally voicing your feelings for each other seemed to lift the weight off both of your shoulders and allowed for you to rest your head against his chest, both of you taking a few deep breaths with each other as you listened to his heartbeat.

“do you wanna come inside?” embry asked softly after a moment when the rain started to pick up outside, and, although you were covered by his porch, you could still feel how chilly you were getting from the cool air.

nodding, you lifted your head to look at him and he just offered you a small smile, “c’mon then, yea?” he asked softly, resting his hand on your lower back and helping you inside so you could warm up and take in each other’s presence. 

[bordysbae]

Could you do 53 and 54 combined, with Mark Estapa? Please and thank you 💋

“can i be your boyfriend?”

mark estapa x fem!reader

53. yeah i like you dipshit

54. i want you, not them

disclaimer: i’m so sorry this is definitely one of my least favorites i’ve written, but it’s been in my inbox for a few days and i felt like i need to write it sooner than later? i’ve been pretty sick lately so i truly apologize if this is actually dog shit ugh. ALSO!!! emma is a fake character, idek if ethan has cousins LOL

—

you and mark aren’t dating, but everyone can clearly see that you guys like each other, it’s just a matter of time until you both admit it. normally you aren’t one to get jealous, but something clicked tonight when you saw him talking to her.

ethan’s cousin came to visit him at college, and this isn’t the first time she’s been here either. last year when she came to visit for her winter break, which started a week before michigans, she had everyone’s attention. all the guys were swooning over her, but of course she chose mark. at that time you were nothing with mark, just a close friend with all of the guys, so it didn’t bother you. they never ended up working out since mark thought ethan would be pissed, and he didn’t want to do long distance on top of that.

at the beginning of this semester you and mark became very close friends, and you both developed feelings. neither of you wants to admit it, but it’s just sort of a known fact that you’re bound to date. you guys have seen other people, but once you both began hooking up it stayed that way. you haven’t seen anyone else since you guys first hooked up, and neither has he. but now you’re not so sure, since mark seems perfectly content with her obvious flirting.

you begin to chug your drink as she laughs at whatever he said to her. you can’t imagine anything mark estapa said is that funny, so obviously she’s faking it. “you need to relax, he wouldn’t do that to you y/n,” dylan says to you as he takes a sip from his red solo cup.

“dylan you saw how obsessed they were with each other last year, and it doesn’t help that she’s prettier than me! she looks like a fucking instagram model!” you throw your head back as you place the cup to your lips, finishing the last of your drink.

“relax, she’s not prettier than you. she gets botox and her hair color is fake” dylan chuckles.

“oh dylan you’re such a woman, i love you!” you exclaim as you wrap your arms around the boy. he lets out a laugh and scruffs up the top of your hair.

“let’s go get more drinks yeah?”

“oh hell yeah, i need a lot more to be able to watch this shit” you groan, making dylan chuckle. on your way into the kitchen you both run into luke and tj.

“ah my favorite hughes!” you reply, buzzed a little bit. “hi y/n, hey duker!” luke says.

“y/n did you hear em-“ tj begins to say. “shut up tj, yeah i know she’s here. i don’t really care buddy” you roll your eyes and scoff. you excuse yourself from the conversation before you show anymore jealousy.

you cant stand how much the boys talk about her. it’s always “emma this!” “emma that!” like honestly who cares? you assume ethan isn’t very happy with her at the moment either, so you go find him once you refill your drink. you spot him on the stairs looking bored out of mind as he talks to some random girl, so you decide to save him from his misery, “ethan!” you shout to grab his attention. he instantly turns around and excuses himself from the conversation with the girl. “thank fucking god, you’re my lord and savior!” he exclaims, pretending to bow down to you making you laugh.

“why aren’t you with mark? i feel like at every party you’re always under his arm” ethan asks, taking a sip from his drink.

“he’s uh, with your cousin”

“he is? of course” ethan chuckles. although he’d never admit it, ethan isn’t too fond of his cousin. she’s very touchy with all of his teammates and friends, but since she’s family there’s not much he can do about it.

“yeah, they’re over there” you say pointing to the living room full of drunken people vaping and dancing. emma and mark are sat on one of the couches, and that’s when you notice her hand on marks bicep. that throws you overboard, and makes your blood boil.

“oh you’re kidding” you mumble. ethan turns to you and gives you a confused look.

“what’d you say? i cant hear you over the music.” he says leaning down to hear you better.

“ethan flirt with me!” you blurt out, making ethan spit his drink back in his cup.

“pardon?” he asks, thinking he’s maybe had too much alcohol and is beginning to hear things.

“i said flirt with me! i need to make mark jealous”

“you’re gonna get me killed, y/n!” he cries out.

“and whys that? it’s not like me and mark are dating or anything! we’ve been hooking up, i caught feelings which everyone knows about, and now he’s all over your cousin. so i don’t really see why i cant flirt with you!” you shrug

“i cant tell you why but i just cant do that to him!”

“well he hasn’t been a man and told me he likes me, soooo just flirt with me for christ sake! i’ll go find some random guy to flirt with me if you won’t!”

“no no don’t do that, the guys here are sketchy. fine i’ll flirt with you, but if mark kills me you better speak at my fucking funeral”

“attaboy!” you say playfully hitting his chest.

you and ethan begin fake flirting, and it’s only when you lean into his ear to whisper something that drives mark over the edge. you’ve seen him glaring at you both a few times, but now he’s storming over to you guys.

“eddy what the fuck are you doing?” he drunkenly yells at ethan, making ethan’s eyes go wide. “see i told you he’d kill me! get mad at her man not me! y/n explain it to him” ethan proclaims.

“mark can we just go outside” you roll your eyes at him, he nods his head in annoyance and follows you out onto the porch. you sit against the wall and mark sits down next to you. “the fuck was all that? are we nothing to you?” mark says.

“oh you’re fucking funny mark! you’re one to talk! don’t go blaming me for this shit! first of all, we aren’t even dating so i don’t know why you’re so pissed at me! and sec—“ you begin, but mark cuts you off, “well—“

you then interrupt him back, “i’m not done talking shh! as i was saying, second of all, you were all over emma! you didn’t even seem to mind that her hand was on your arm, and that she was laughing at every fucking thing you said! so no mark, this isn’t my fault and dont accuse me of assuming we’re nothing! i like you, dipshit! is that so hard to see?! i’ve liked you for months now! i don’t want you with anyone else, so i wanted to make you jealous! im not used to seeing you with other girls mark, it’s always me under your arm not emma!” you cry out, now standing up pacing the deck.

“i like you too dumbass! i was planning to ask you out on a date and tell you how i felt, maybe even ask you to be my girlfriend, but then stupid emma came back to town and ruined it! i’m sorry i made you feel that way, but it also hurt me seeing you all over my best friend. girls use me to get to ethan sometimes, and i don’t think you’d do that but it just struck a nerve i guess.” he explains, now standing up as well.

“why did you let her be all over you?”

“i don’t really have an answer if i’m being honest. i didn’t even think about it, i’m really sorry. i get it if you’re pissed at me, i would be too.”

“i’m not pissed at all i’m just annoyed. not necessarily at you, just at everyone. they all kiss the ground she walks on and it’s just fucking annoying. i’m sorry for everything mark, i promise im not mad at you” you say, looking up at the 6’2” boy.

mark looks down at you, and cups your cheeks, “i want you, not emma. know that.” he then leans down to kiss you, and you return the act. his hands remain on your cheeks, and your hands find their way to the back of his nec. you both taste like a mixture of alcohols, but you’re both too far in the moment to even notice.

he pulls back for air and smiles down at you and your slightly swollen lips. “so what do you say, will you be my girlfriend? actually no scratch that, can i be your boyfriend?” he smiles cheesily, way too proud of himself for his romcom of a proposal.

“you’re so cringe, but yes i would love for you to be my boyfriend estapa!” you giggle, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck.

[sharpth1ng]

As someone who has TRIED to write longfic for a while, I find outlining and sticking to it so fucking hard?! Like I never know what I'm doing at all. And I wanted to ask how do you do it??? Like what's your process if you have one or just whatever tips you have, because I feel like the pacing and plot/character evolution in your fics is so good? Idek dude I'm desperate this is so hard 😭😭 but I really wanna do it so. Help please

Honestly this is the first long fic I’ve managed to write, it’s something I’ve struggled with a lot as well. I guess I have a couple tips, but it’s by no means expert advice. It’s also possible some of this is too basic, idk, but I’ll do my best to be helpful.

Outlining and thinking into the future is really important but I’d actually recommend you give yourself a little flexibility to change things as well. I like to have my end point set- that means I know how characters start out and how they change through the course of the fic. After that I basically just have to get from point A to point B by figuring out what events happen to change the characters over the course of the plot.

In Debaser the start point is a closeted, self-denying Billy and a Stu that’s not yet completely sure of his place in Billy’s orbit. At the end we have a Billy who is still closeted but admits his sexuality to himself and has fallen in love with Stu, and we have an equally but more openly in love Stu who is also significantly more confident (if also severely injured).

It helps to have a solid midpoint as well, this is basic plot structure stuff. You need the characters to face a challenge and overcome it, and for Debaser this is Maureen’s death. It’s their first murder but it also marks the beginning of a significant change in their relationship. Before Maureen their behaviour has been almost justifiably kinky to Billy. He can tell himself that he’s only getting off on causing Stu pain, but kissing him crosses a line, and then there’s everything that happens at Christmas and it just continues from there.

As I’m writing this stuff I try to be mindful that I’m creating a sense of escalation- the characters are making progress or regressing, but either of way the stakes are getting higher. Scream lends itself well to that, so I got lucky.

It also helps that I’m sort writing a book slasher, at least later in the fic. It means I can make use of those tropes, so I have something to lean on. I’d recommend figuring out some tropes that you like from the genre you’re working in, and put your own spin on them or find a way to subvert them.

I often work through this kind of planning with more of a visual map, then this eventually gets turned into bullet point summaries of each chapter. When I actually go to write the chapter a lot of the time I realize some of those planned plot points don’t quite work or don’t feel in character, and in those cases I often change those details. If it works better for the story I’m telling then it’s good to go off-script a little. There are usually some major events that I won’t change, but most things are fair game.

Finally, I’d recommend writing ahead. It’s really benefited me to know what’s happening in the next few chapters before I edit for publishing. That way I can add in or change any details that no longer work with what’s coming up in the future.

I hope some of this makes sense (and is helpful) but like you’re right, it is hard. It’s such a scary process honestly and that’s part of why Wave of Mutilation is taking me so much time. But yeah I think it’s normal for it to feel kind of awful to do this kind of thing. Truly the only thing i hate more than writing is not writing.

I wish you the fucking best with whatever you’re working on!

[regularme12]

The Regular Show Tickle Hcs

A/N: I realized there was no tickle content of this wonderful show, well the ones I can’t find, so I decided to make one.

——————————

Benson:

40/60: Lee/Ler

Ler:

He tickles anyone and everyone back, if they tickle him

And you better run fast and far, cause once he catches you, it won’t be pretty

He’ll tickle you even if u tell him to stop

But sometimes he’s more gentle to the sweet characters like Pops

So when Pops tells him to stop he will

Can’t say the same to Rigby or Mordecai

They’re in deep shit once Benson catches them

Lee:

The 40% of him being a lee, he absolutely hates

Like I mean HATES being tickled, it’s just not fun to him at all and he wishes people would stop when he tells them to

Like Mordecai and Rigby

Sometimes they team up on him and get him good, sometimes even bribe him for a raise, which he has to give them in order for all of this to stop

Other times, Benson just gets so fed up with their shit, he turns the tables and goes for the little one first, Rigby. Only bc he’s an easy target.

He’s really ticklish, like a 7/10

The others, like Pops, Muscle Man, Hi-five Ghost, and Skips all didn’t know he was ticklish, until Rigby and Mordecai couldn’t keep their mouths shut

They ran in the room screaming “BENSON’S TICKLISH!! HE’S REALLY TICKLISH OMG!!”

Then a red faced gum ball machine came in all pissed “SHUT UP YOU TWO!!”

Then everyone else in the room just had to test that theory out and teamed up on him again.

His worst spot is his knees, like get him there, and he’ll be cackling

He screams, thrashes and kicks, so be careful when u manage to pin him down and tickle him.

Muscle Man:

100% Ler

Ler:

He’s not really ticklish at all, that’s why he’s never tickled, he was kinda just born like that

But don’t get him wrong, he does tickle everyone else given the chance

Like the groups targets Rigby and Mordecai

They just a handful and need to be taken down a notch, so Muscle Man decided to do just that.

Tickle the shit out of both of them, wether it be at the same time or one on one, whatever mood he’s feeling

If he gets into tickle fights, he always wins ofc, like with High-five, he’s a ghost in all, but Muscle Man knows just how to get him in a giggly mess.

And Pops, Boy is it easy or what to get him down and tickle him to pieces, along with Benson?

Well, with Benson, he kinda had to put up quite a fight, but he still managed to pin him down, and tickle him

High-Five Ghost:

100% Lee

Ler:

Idek y I’m writing about him bc he’s a ghost but still

Anyways he doesn’t like tickling anyone who isn’t his best friend, Muscle Man, and Muscle Man isn’t ticklish, so yeah, I’d say he’s 100% Lee!

Lee:

He only likes Muscle Man tickling him, bc he knows the green man doesn’t mean anything by it, and he’s gentle with his touches.

It may not seem like that in the show, but off camera, he’s really sweet and soft to High-five

His death spot is, yep you guessed it, his palms

I mean, it’s literally in his name

“High-five Ghost” lol, I’m so funny…

Skips:

100% Ler

Ler:

He’s not ticklish at all

Never was

Well, let’s just say he kinda grown out of that

One day he was hella ticklish

The next, he wasn’t

Like?!

Anyways, he tickles the hell out of Rigby and Mordecai he also tickles Benson and Pops too, but when they say stop he does stop, goes with Rigby and Mordecai too

Tho, sometimes they can get on everyone’s nerves, and Skips just needs to reach them a lesson

But other times, he stops when they tell him too.

Pops:

50/50 Lee/Ler

Ler:

Pops just loves to tickle people, he doesn’t care who, or what gender, he just sees someone he knows and starts tickling them

He thinks it’s a fun game, but he can take stop as an answer, and does

Bc if someone doesn’t like the game, he won’t think it’s fun anymore, everyone gotta love it in order for him to enjoy it

He tickles Rigby and Mordecai all the time too, as well as Benson

Even if Mordecai and Rigby gets on his nerves he will still listen to them when they had enough, he’s just a gentle giant

Lee:

He LOVES getting tickled, by damn, he enjoys it too much

He actually starts asking ppl to tickle him too

He goes to Benson more tho bc Benson knows what he’s doing

Does he get embarrassed asking? Ofc he doesn’t, it’s Pops, he never gets embarrassed

Not even if he’s asking the groups trouble makers, Rigby and Mordecai, he’ll do anything to get his fair share of tickles too

His death spot is his feet, he absolutely loves it if u get him there.

He also doesn’t squirm or anything, and his laugh is cute bubbly giggles and chortles

Rigby:

90/10 Lee/Ler

Ler:

Him as a ler? Hell yeah!

He always tickles his friends, especially his childhood friend, Mordecai.

He tickles Benson too, usually to get that raise he wants.

Prolly the only effort he will put in.

He tickles Mordecai all the time as well, usually to distract him from the job Benson told them to do, but never finish

No, he won’t stop if u tell him to, that’s malarkey, crazy talk if I ever!

He loves tickling ppl, y would he stop?

He doesn’t even stop when Mordecai begs him too at that, u gotta physically pull him off

Lee:

He’s really ticklish himself, like a 10/10

He hates it too

He really hates being tickled, so he’s such a hypocrite

He won’t stop if someone tells him too, but he’s quick to get all pissy if someone won’t stop themselves

Like Mordecai? Or Benson? Or even Skips, but that’s on rare occasions (not so rare, since he’s always on ppls nerves)

He will start crying and screaming for you to stop if u won’t the first time.

He’s a puncher and a kicker, if Mordecai isn’t the one tickling him, then he’ll ask for his help

90% of the time he deserves it, so the blue Jay won’t even help him himself, he’ll prolly join in, if ever

But the other 10% someone just wants to be a jerk, so he slowly assures them off him, and if that won’t work, Mordecai would tickle them slightly to get them off his bsf

His death spot is his tail, he’ll start screaming if u tickle him there.

Mordecai:

80/20 Lee/Ler:

Ler:

He usually always tickles Rigby, if anything

He mostly only feels comfortable with the raccoon, so he’ll only tickle him every time he feels like it, or Rigby just gets on his nerves, like he does everyone

One time, Rigby got them both in so much trouble, Mordecai tickled him relentlessly until he was coughing, bro would not let that slide at all

He tried tickling Margaret but she’s not ticklish, so he never tried it again

He actually got punched once the first time he tickled Rigby, which was in first grade, Rigby had to apologize sincerely, but Mordecai just shrugged it off saying it was his fault for not stopping from the get-go.

And yes, it was in fact his fault

The blue jay should’ve stopped

But he didn’t

Lee:

Massive Lee right here!!!

Super hella ticklish, dawg.

Like a 9/10, Rigby’s way more ticklish than him tho, and Mordecai hates being tickled so fucking much, he’ll kick and punch anyone who threatens to touch him.

Like he did with Margraet… yh… it took her 1 month to forgive him, then she realized that she should’ve stopped too

So Karma’s a bitch towards Mordecai, as always

He gets teamed up on less than Rigby, but more than everyone else, bc he’s the second most ticklish person, and he makes funny reactions, plus some cute ones too

Like if he’s tickled enough he chirps like a bird and everyone thinks it’s so cute, even his childhood friend, Rigby

But Mordecai hates this weakness so much, he tries to forget ever being ticklish, but it just won’t work.

His death spot is his beak, or his wings, there really is no difference they all create the same hiccups and chirps.

[schrodingerscollective]

Heyyyy

…

We’re backkkk

So, for those who are new to this blog or have forgotten - don’t blame you there, it’s been eight months lol - my name is Parker! I’m one of the hosts in the Schrödinger’s Cat Collective. I’m gonna format the rest of this post like an FAQ bc writing a block of paragraph is boring for you guys and me

So, what happened?

In a roughly linear but haphazard order:

1. Denial + a lot of assumptions we made about our system and how it worked, which ended up with us believing we weren’t a system at all

2. Stress. Oh my god so much stress, made worse by autistic burnout. It was horrific, but thankfully that was late last year, and we’re okay now

3. I don’t know what happened, but now there are literally only 5 of us. I actually can’t explain it. I think maybe some people might have fused together but it’s hard to tell, since almost everyone here now existed in some form before. Man, idek T-T

Why are y’all back?

We debated making this post for a bit, mostly because we were scared to be wrong about being a system again, or that’s we’re secretly faking or making things up because we’re bored, etc. But I’ve realised that that’s a dumb reason, and that if it were another system saying those things we wouldn’t be nearly as harsh on them as we are, in reality, on ourselves.

(Also the body is sick rn and everyone else is taking a break meaning I’m by myself feeling like crap, so I’m doing a Good Thing. I know they missed posting here but everyone kept putting off writing this post so look at me saving the day)

What is and will be changed?

- we will no longer be calling ourselves an OSDD 1B system, as we are unsure of our system origin. Currently we call ourselves a median system, leaning closer to being plural

- as always, this is a no-syscourse zone. However, we do want to explicitly state that we are fully supportive of ALL systems regardless of type, origin and whatever else, provided everyone is civil. If you are uncomfortable with this, there’s no obligation for you to stay here

- we’ll still post memes, but we might post other things too!

- we’ll also be updating our bio and pinned post soon :)

Thanks for reading!

- Parker, edited by Nova for grammar

[sarcastic-kai]

Miguel O’Hara praising you pt.2 poll

Whatever you guys put will decide what I do with the second part of the one shot. Since I wrote it while I was incredibly tired, I didn’t finish it. But I’m feeling the need to write but I don’t know which direction to go and since I can’t make a decision for the life of me, the burden of decision making is all yours :)

**link to the first part below, in case you didn’t read it but wanna participate**

idek why I’m doing this but who cares :)

[charlieswanismydad]

about me !!!

links

drawn by the amazing @ghosttoastx !!! if you read this ily you’re never getting rid of me now

Hi!!! I’m Alice.

I do stuff. It’s pretty cool.

Enfp, hufflepuff, Capricorn Sun, Libra moon, Pisces rising, he/she, and more!! I’m also a non-partnering aromantic and gray asexual!

I stalk blogs I like, don’t be alarmed if I like a bunch of posts at once!! In fact, be happy!! I love you!!!!!

If you want to talk to me please do!!! I want more friends. Just keep in mind I am a 15 year old minor!

You have been warned!

DNI:

racists, homophobes, sexists, etc. general dni criteria ig

people who just hate for no reason!! (anti-furry, just hating on certain fandoms, etc. ticks me off!)

proshippers

frans/fontcest

exclusionists

radqueers

radfems

pro paras. go to therapy

nsfw (also sorta related to above, pro cnc/ageplay. go to therapy)

WIPS:

Wilting Flowers - My actual baby. My pride and joy. It’s imperfect but that’s okay.

The actual grim reaper falls in love with a mortal. I can’t do it justice, you’re just gonna have to trust me.

don’t break my heart - Shameless Sans fanfic. All of the self indulgence ever, but it brings me joy :) semi discontinued, might come back!

I love it man. It makes me so happy. Basically yn is an awkward dumbass and so is Sans and they fall in love and stuff :)

Fandoms:

My main fandoms are Twilight and Undertale (obv), but I’m in a bunch more!! :D

The Arc of a Scythe by Neil Shusterman

Harry Potter by Daniel Radcliffe (JK…)

Steven Universe by Rebecca Sugar

Doki Doki Literature Club by Dan Salvato

Omori by Omocat

Arcane by Riot Games

The Walten Files by Martin Walls

The Amazing Digital Circus by Glitch Studios

The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber (the book’s by Gaston Leroux but i haven’t read it lol)

Deltarune by Toby Fox (is that an anagram???)

Meet the Robinsons by Disney

And more that aren’t off the top of my head!! Just ask bros :)

I’m kinda obsessed with UTMV, soooo….

Fav AU - Insomnia (link to chapter 1)

Fav Sans - Dust by Ask-Dusttale and Geno by LoverofPiggies

Music:

Ranked by popularity, with my fave songs from each! Just like the fandoms, it's all over the place.

Taylor Swift - Haunted

Hozier - In The Woods Somewhere

Muse - Soldier's Poen

Mitski - Last Words of a Shooting Star

Will Wood - Suburbia Overture/Vampire Culture/Whatever the hell the name is idek anymore

Dazey and the Scouts - Maggot

The Oozes - I Still Adore You

Lemon Demon - Action Movie Hero Boy

Tally Hall/Miracle Musical - Misery Fell

Teddy Hyde - Terry’s Taxidermy

Destroy Boys - Crybaby

The Crane Wives - Little Soldiers

Steam Powered Giraffe - Malfunction

Writing Requests:

HEY SO HERES A FUN FACT: I WANT YOU TO ASK ME TO WRITE THINGS FOR YOU!! LIKE I LOVE THAT!!! I WILL WRITE YOU LITTLE ONESHOTS IF ITS A FANDOM IM IN!!! OR I CAN WRITE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS IF YOU’RE INTO THAT!!! JUST PLEASR PLEASE PLEASE ASK ME AAAAAAA

Things You Might Want to Be Aware Of:

i tend to isolate myself when i’m having a Big Sad™️ moment. please do not be mad if i act cold!!!

i’m a very empathic person and i get really upset around negativity. please do not send me or mention me in anything political or controversial.

i get in my head about disturbing/sexual things. once again, don’t show me this stuff. don’t ask me to write about it, either!!

i am uncomfortable around religious discussions. i get enough of them irl!!! please keep them away from me :')

i’ve got adhd and possible ocd so yeah and also my auditory processing sucksssss so if we ever interact on call or *gasp* irl then i’ll say “what?” every five seconds

books. @bunny-on-a-bookshelf for books.

i’m just a silly little girl who is also a boy. we have fun here

Tags:

(new so they haven’t been used much)

#mootie patooties - mutuals

#irl alice - real life shtuff

#reblogs - self explanatory

#alice writes sometimes - my writing!!!!

#skeleposting - undertale/utmv

#is that an anagram??? - deltarune

#sparkly - twilight

#im aspec BUT - simping, fangirling, i do a lot of it

#liveblogging homestuck - reading homestuck and making vague comments about it.

#ALL HAIL - welcome to nightvale stuff!!!

#rock n robinson - meet the robinsons

#musical automatons - steam powered giraffe!!!! the best band ever btwwwew

Moots:

I literally love you guys 😭😭

@donotreleasemeintothewild

@livforlive

@last-herondale

@hiro-doodlez

@sneakyfox55

@junessillywachingcorner

@popiollie

@toka-san

@wishtale-blogs

@italic-does-random-shit

@ghostboisonly

@just-let-me-call-myself-arson

@pizzatowne

@ghosttoastx

@thenocturnenarrator

@lelitachay

@paraska00

@tundra116

@blurboppz

@flesh-archivist

@matzahstein

@paranoid-radio

@martinibass

@drrobotnic

@sandwich2451

@blaster-fagot

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

[bbina]

i fckng hate second chances with every fiber of my being and every living cell in my body. once its over, its over. if u fckd up IMMEDIATELY ✂️✂️✂️ i hate it when a characters get second chances after fckng it up real bad like NO U DO NOT DESERVE ANOTHER CHANCE AND OTHER MC ALSO DOES NOT DESERVE TO RISK GETTING HURT AGAIN

on the contrary tho, for btl, i do think yn should get another chance? is it another chance? well, wonbin didnt really give her a chance to explain herself, he went ahead of himself and created assumptions. and i know that every one says yn is the problem cus had she not offered the fake dating set up this wouldnt have happened BUT wonbin had no problem agreeing to it so....wouldnt really say yn is the root problem. the root problem is their lack of effective communication skills, emotional management/control and listening skills!!! wonbin im sorry but running away was a stupid af thing to do and i know ur hurt but u literally made assumptions after seeing 2ppl hug. babes ppl can hug platonically, believe me. thats all i have to say. *bows, drops mic and leaves stage*

im sorry for the sudden rant when this discourse was already over like a week ago i could not help it. ive been following u for a while but i am a silent reader and this is my first time sending an ask to anyone here in general. im so nervous. is my english okay? i swear i know proper punctuations but im too lazy to do it rn rip. i just want to say ive never been so invested in an eng au cus i usually read the ones in my native language cus THEM ANGST HIT DIFFERENT BRO anyway, i love ur writing sm <33 makes me wanna start writing again as well if it werent for my busy af shed (graduating student things). cant wait for the next updates ✨️🫶🫶

but the angst material is tew gewd don’t you think? second chances trope is nice and all if done right 🤪 maybe some groveling here and there and viola! perfection

most valid btl theory ive seen 😫 they’re both dumb 🤝 and did mistakes,, (yn made a bigger mistake tho) but point still stands

nah ur sudden rant about the week old discourse is perfectly okay. any rant about btl is 👌 cus im curious on how each person takes in the story and seeing a bunch of different reactions is what keeps me going 😫🤝 AND AGAIN IM HONORED TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE YOU SENT AN ASK TO 🙏 your english is great!!!! thank you so much for reading!! and i hope whatever i put out or something makes u want to go back to writing 🙏 i myself is a graduating student too but i still find the time to insert my hobby which is this because i love it so much and its honestly my stress reliever (contrary to popular belief i write more eloquently when i’m either stressed or having a headache idek why lol maybe it gets my brain juice all worked up)

[antiradqueer]

Idek like if this fits in this blog I don’t even use tumblr for the community; I use it for images and customization and whatnot but I’m accidentally 2 am doomscrolling and…

The transid stuff is truly baffling to me like it’s so beyond me. I dunno if it’s just a new breed of severe mental illness or if it’s just heaps of attention seeking. Either way from what I’ve seen it’s just plain. Just insane. I’m also confused as to what they even are? Are they trans identities as in genders? Or are they just throwing around the word trans because they’re privileged and just. Can?

Firstly, I am black and trans which comes with day to day struggles. I didn’t wake up and stretch and yawn and go yep I’m gonna be trans. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t be trans. I wouldn’t want to put myself through constant oppression just because of who I am and how I feel about my own body and how I want to present MYself. It’s painful and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. So WHY are these people deciding they want to make their lives harder? Fully, consciously deciding that they want to change themselves purposely. Now I’ve always known I was trans but I didn’t always identify as trans because it didn’t feel right or I was scared to be judged. You cannot choose who you are but you can choose how you label yourself (which I’ve seen some crazy harmful stuff but that’s a different story.) So the fact that these people are CHOOSING to identify in ways that harm others and erase the trans community just does not make any sense to me.

Now. On to “transrace.” This has got to be some of the most privileged shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. I could probably guarantee you that a fat majority of these radqueers are white. Let’s say there’s a person who is white, but is deciding they want to say they’re black. Firstly, why??? I understand cultural appreciation but why do you want to change who you are to pretend to be someone else because there’s a “desire”? A desire to what? Be discriminated against no matter what? Not be able to graduate/get a job because of your natural hair? So on and so forth? I just don’t understand. These people are begging to be oppressed. And for what. What do they gain.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand, but I also think I’m fine with that. I don’t partake in discourse and I’m all for ‘to each his own.’ While I am not for people ignoring genuine harm being done (like the paraphiles or whatever they’re called aka groomers??? pedos??? traffickers????) I don’t believe that in the long run, it will affect either side. However. Transid people really do need to stop; especially ones acting on it in their actual.. away from the screen lives. I saw a post about a transid that revolves around intrusive thoughts. I suffer from intense intrusive and impulsive thoughts that often cause me to fall into intense episodes of mood swings, anger, confusion, depression, and more. I would NEVER romanticize these thoughts and make an identity for them. If it’s a coping mechanism, sure do whatever helps. But don’t bring that shit to others. Don’t glorify violent thoughts and mock real identities. It’s sickening.

I digress. Im stepping fully away from social media after tonight, but it was nice to be able to write this out and process how backwards we are evolving. Honestly, I will be fine with completely wiping the idea of transids away from my brain and continuing to lead a normal life.

TLDR:: I’m black and trans and I find radqueers/transids sickening, privileged, and harmful. Just my little tangents and tidbits on this subject that is quite new to me.

Bonus! I saw a genuine radqueer transid identity that was called “transartstyle.” Where one desires to have a different art style.

…

Stay safe out there

absolutely great points, i can never really get into breaking down tranrace like you did so first of all thank you,

i do think that alot of the transid/abled etc. stuff is some kind of new either mental illness or some kinda coping mechanism (or hell maybe it just is privilege and attention seeking), something like biid in a way or maybe something even similar to munchausen syndrome but not exactly it either, still doesnt take the harm those lables do away theres other, less harmful lables out there.

thank you so much for your piece here, and hey, dont let radqueers ruin your time online, especially since you dont do online discourse n all, anyway thank you and stay safe