#whatever i think im going crazy
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who needs healthy coping mechanisms when you can pump out shitty 5 minute clefdraki scribbles
therapists hate rhem (kill me)
#i have. a maladaptive daydreaming problem and ive always imagined kon as like.#beautiful#and every time i try to put it to paper its never quite right and i rip my hair our#whatever i think im going crazy#scp#scp foundation#scp fanart#clefdraki#dr clef#dr kondraki#a glimpse inro my dark n twisted mind (clefdraki :()
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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everybody go home. this is my magnum opus
#HELP THIS IS KILLING ME#the original version of this had hua cheng in a ‘i have a CRAZY wife she hates STUPID PEOPLE and LOVES DOGS and im NOT AFRAID TO USE HER’#but if hua cheng was at midwestern gas station number 472 in the novelty slogan tshirt aisle#she for sure would get some sort of ‘your wife (woman symbol) vs MY WIFE (wonder woman silhouette)’#or ‘trophy 🏆🏆 WIFE’#or possibly a ‘return to wife if lost’#or ‘i have a SMOKIN HOT wife’#or ‘im the BOSS til my WIFE gets home’#or ‘5 things you should know about my WIFE: 1. she is my queen 2. she is a bit crazy 3. she can whoop your ass#4. she says whatever she is thinking 5. mess with her and theyll never find your body’#or ‘i go to work so my wife can COLLECT SCRAPS’#or even at worst. ‘ my wife is the PRINCESS the mouse LOST’#xie lian would be initially embarassed. but you know her ass would be wearing a ‘proud PROPERTY of an AWESOME WIFE’ shirts @ heaven meetings#or ‘i’m not scared of ANYTHING - my WIFE is a CALAMITY’#which was sold as a metaphor for your wife being mean and powerful. but she wears it straight.#or even ‘im not GAY but my WIFE is’ lmfao#anyway.#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#hualesbians#modern au#tgcf meme#my art#art#tgcf shitpost#lmao#mxtx
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how long since the last magma dump
#this ones small compared to the others i feel n also all out of order bc formatting is a bitch#all saints street#wan sheng jie#ive been reading for once omg#jrwi riptide#fields of mistria#drawtectives#do i tag characters... question that haunts me for these kinda posts#nick hoult#wsj crystal#<- sweden win... is for me#jasmine drake#<- missing him everday all the time every second#drawtectives felix#hes trying to loaf idk how well it reads#oc#do you remember him. whatever happened with him. whered he go. (<- the one who has full control of all that)#my art#magma#robins peeking in too everyone prepare yourselves cus like i finally started his save n oh boy its gonna be bad i think but what do i know#that ones literally months old too atp. like ive been holding myself back from getting to him for so long n now im free im gonan be crazy
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its just a burning memory
(version without extra effects/textures under cut)
#my art#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#mikage souji#souji mikage#IM SORRY I CANT RESIST PUTTING EATEOT REFERENCES IN THE CAPTION. I CANT NOT POST MIKAGE WITHOUT ONE.#anyway ^_^#i wanted to do a digital version of that sketchbook drawing i posted a few days ago. and also go crazy with the effects and stuff#i wanted it to look a little like. idk how to describe it. a little like a foggy memory#colors blurring together and whatever#anyway i think about mikage and whatever's wrong with him a normal amount. ^_^#i think his memory weirdness. as well as the memory weirdness in rgu in general. is very interesting#i need to study him#i do like both versions of this drawing hence why theyre both here#the one without the textures is closer to my usual art style but it was fun to mess around with different brushes and really layer that shi#2024
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“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”
“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”
#txf#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#folie a deux#this episode �� this EPISODE!!!!!!#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….#between mulder just . having to rely on scully for the last part of the ep#scully thinking he’s off his fucking rocker and still looking into what he asks her to look into bc she TRUSTS him . bc she LOVES him !!!!#and maybe he’s a little nuts but goddamnit she will at least check it out !! just in case he’s right!!!#AND she lies for him all the time . i mean she always does this whenever he decides to go nuts But specifically in this ep…#looks skinner in the eye and goes . yea man im totally fully with mulder on this . and he’s definitely not being weird and i definitely kno#what’s going on with him#she lies for mulder all the time its soooo…#anyways . drawing wise this drove me nuts i hate drawing mulder . he’s so hard for me to draw#they’re kinda kirie and shuichi coded in the bottom part but . well . why not . might as well be#ALSOOO i chose that quote for the bottom bc . well . does she think he’s crazy? like actually for real?#i feel like every time scully talks about mulder (up to season five at least as thats where im at) its contained in some way?#in her reports . to family . to skinner . to mulder !#i think the only time she’s Really honest is in the confessional but even then…#bc its not like she’s against speaking her mind . i mean generally and situational but for ppl she’s close to she usually isnt#but when it comes to mulder it always feels contained and like she’s making excuses for him (he is always her exception .#llike whenevrr he gets some disease or affliction or whatever she ALWAYS jumps to going ‘but well… sometimes there’s this excuse’ and she#does this w a lot considering shes science focused but w mulder shes always like . well he ISNT crazy because uhhhh .#this hyperspecific scenario that is in no fuckin way the case)#but does she think he’s crazy? does HE think she thinks he’s crazy?#is he asking about this specific case or is he asking in general? over the entirety of the show?#its been five years scully. is he crazy? sick? demented?#has this all been a sick fantasy fueled by mental illness? youre the doctor scully . surely you have the answer?#anyways i dont think she knows . and if that is the case — what does that mean for her?
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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highly topical jillion christrider art.
#going to sleep now. aggie went crazy. erm.#jrwi#gillion tidestrider#jrwi riptide#avepharts#look. after episode 114 he is basically like jesus if you think about it.#im gonna regret posting this i think#uhh also.#crucifiction#tw christianity#I GUESS?#i just realised i forgot the blue in his eyes whatever. lens flare.
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The moment you start throwing around a slur as a genuine insult you are no longer reclaiming it. Reclaiming a word involves referring to yourself with it in a positive manner, using it to spread community and trying to remove the feelings of shame around it. If you are using it as an insult you are not fucking reclaiming it, you are just using a slur.
#This is about people thinking its fine to use the r-slur just because they're a high functioning autistic#Look im not one to police how other people refer to themselves#if ur high functioning and you genuinely feel the need to reclaim it then fine whatever#but the SECOND you start flinging it around as an insult my good grace for you is gone#WOW who knew ableism is bad even when you do it!!#Crazy thought I know#ableism#sowwyyy just wanted to go off a little teehee
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people saying that Glinda isn't gay are so insane to me it's like in the original books she lived out her years with 100 of Oz's most beautiful women for nothing
#idk what to argue#she had a harem#yeah i got annoyed by someone again sorry#i dont think a lot of people can read tho so ig i can forgive#not forget tho ill be annoyed for a while still#elphaba is like. one person. could you imagine them make glindas harem canon. could you#wicked#i dont mind revisionist works but it annoys me when people erase canon for them#wizard of oz#glinda the good witch#elphaba thropp#gelphie#its about the popularity obv but the ozma slander is crazy i miss her#im also in general annoyed about pretending like i wasnt called lame for liking wicked in like 2015 or whatever#obv you sont have to go all into it but you have to understand that wicked is completely different from the original books. its 100% fanfic#but people dont understand that which is where my woes come in#my posts#text post
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day 152 tweaking. i wanted to post this separately bc ive been thinking of rhm and wilhelm more often now
#i have a special thing in mindfor them tomorrow hopefully i can do ive been lookng forward to it for 3 days#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#rhm#right hand man#I REALLY LIKE to think him and thomas have crazy beef#geoffry's in btween them like. :|#this contradicts so bad with when 2 years ago i drew these 3 having a sweet drunk moment oh my god.#scriboozles#rhmeveryday#and im not letting go of thomas being the double agent/traitor whatever
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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wait, that elias?
#huge shoutout to @sepezzz elias design this is very much inspired by it. go look at it#im so serious if i never draw another person manspreading in a fucking office chair it’ll be TOO SOON#anyways.#the juxtaposition truly is crazy hahaaha right people change in the weirdest of ways#i like thinking about how they both present themselves. elias understands he works at Important Academic Research Facility so he still#sooort of tries to look somewhat official. but well he also gets away with what he can#he has that vibe of Yeah i work here and im kind of important but i’m chill. i know how to chill#meanwhile that other freak is just like i am going to make this body look presentable or so help me god.#he’s the Head of the Institute he can no longer have whimsy okay. and listen it’s not because i think jonah is that boring and would#dislike piercings and funny socks or whatever. i think he’d like those. but see he needs to make this believable that elias truly has#changed okay. and also like i said he is the Head of the Institute he needs to look Super Normal And Unremarkable#anyways i think it’s funny how elias’ whole thing is that he tries to distance himself from his family image and tries really hard to Not#end up like a rich asshole. and then. well.#(looks around) So i think about this man a normal amount.#i could write like 20 thinkpieces on both of them but instead they’re gonna make me do college essays about like language and shit.#myart#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#oh my god it is actually un fucking believable how much i think about him every day#if this becomes a daily elias blog yall will just have to deal
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"I can't wait for you to figure out [troy's] real name and intentions" could mean so many fucking things too this is going to drive me insane. like he could be a robot he could've taken the place of The Real troy lougferd he could be posing as a son that mr lougferd never actually had his first name might just not be troy. like bizly what do you mean REAL NAME and REAL INTENTIONS what the fuck. he's a sneaky bastard doing sneaky bastard shit.
#i will say i do 100% think mr lougferd is Aware of whatever is going on#troy gets his money from SOMEWHERE and he is not shy about talking about his dad#he ASKED someone to call his dad when he first wiped out in ep 1#so im confident hes not just using the name and mr lougferd doesnt know who he is period#but like what a crazy fucking thing to drop. i assumed he had ulterior motives but REAL NAME. real name is throwing me off.#jrwi wonderlust spoilers#jrwi wonderlust#jrwi spoilers
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some doodles
#i meant to put the balor one in the previous post but i forgor 😭its in a diff file from the sketch dump i was coloring in so it just didnt#exist in my mind at all. i felt like smth was missing as i was posting it but i couldnt place what hlep#adeline and eiland have been driving me insane lately. expect more of them. probably.#dont minf the last two guys. some concepts for future farms 😋 (pls mind them im crazy abt all my farmers even if they technically dont -#exist yet. pls ask abt them or smth pls im nroaml i can be nroma l i prommy)#fields of mistria#fom balor#sona#im gonna start tagging that i think.#fom eiland#fom adeline#fom elsie#fom farmer#my art#guys can i just say that im so happy that balor is silver n not gold cus otherwise i would have to confront a part of me im not proud of#we shouldnt talk abt it but like yeah jjust know i like his silver and his whole deal#have such a softspot n bias for characters who dont settle anywhere. who never lay down their roots or whatever. who keep their past secret#like oughh hes hitting so many marks#i like hawthorne a lot. hes more developed in my head. and also i like his dead look and hair bows. i have so many ideas abt him man it hur#i promised myself i wouldnt make a new save file til i reached y2 w rory but apperantly errols bday is cursed bc the game has frozen twice#sorry if you read all of these tags. go to my askbox w fom stuff or smth. ask abt my farmers plsplspls pl s jk haha unless. maybe even#gimme drawing reqs for fom in general. ok tyvm ly sorry for yapping. its what i do best
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I make alot of jokes about abraham towers but I actually really do appreciate him as a character....but he's one I don't see talked about much and it's such a shame
like, he's probably the one other character still alive who is almost as personally connected to maria's death as shadow is
how he now fills the role of the person who ordered the attack on the ark, and how heavily that legacy must weigh on him
how he still has to grapple with his own fear of shadow, despite what maria saw in him, despite how towers has seen him save the world
how he's had to look the demon from his childhood in the face, and realize his own pain was reflected in it's eyes
he is a man built on pride, but who has to put it aside for the greater good. a man who wants all this power to try and protect the earth, but who has to constantly realize it's not enough
he is a man who, above all else, is trying to not make the same mistake twice
#orion rambles#also how fucking funny it is that this middle aged man is the only one desperately trying to keep team dark on track#he's ignored so fucking much but he's so fun as a character!#ESPECIALLY in regards to his feelings on shadow#also i think im going crazy#because i could have SWORN that abraham's father was the previous GUN commander#and that's why he used to visit the ark as a child#but thats just? not true????#or at least there are a lot of conflicting stories from the comics/anime etc#whatever it's going to stay as my headcannon unless outright disproved by a mainline game <3#shadow dark beginnings#abraham towers#gun commander#shadow the hedgehog#shadow x sonic generations
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