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HEYO Y'ALL!!!! I got bored and decided my last intro post was WAY too unorganised (even by my standards frfr 😔😔🙏) so i made a new one!!! hopefully this ones a bit better or else ima light somebody on fire 🥰🥰
anyways dms n asks r ALWAYS open and if ur new to my person-being-blog-whatevs and wanna get to know me or smth then FEEL FREE TO SLIDE IN GIRLYPOPS!!! I'M ALWAYS BORED SOO 😭😭🙏 (might take like, a billion years to reply tho mbmb >:3)
and thus again, without any further ado, MY INTRO POST 😍
🎶 try to strike a chord but it's probably A MINOR 🎶 -> ✨️im under 18✨️ idm nsfw convos tho bcuz theyre funny :D
sooo tbh you can call me whatever you want? like ppl call me different things (eg senka calls me kam, bea calls me keke/kekere bcuz shes 🎶a meanie, a big meanie🎶 my irl bestie westie pookie poo calls me jeena CUZ HES A LIL BITCH) but MHM!!! CALL ME WHATEVER U WANNA <33 (as long as it dont feel masc bcuz my dumbass got issues w feeling masc for some RANDOM STUPID REASON 💀) (like im literally a cis girl why do i got problems w this....... but YAAAA 😭) (she/her btw!!! if that wasnt obvious!! ^^)
✨️i am cringe but i am free✨️
I SOMETIMES USE GENDERED TERMS LIKE GIRLY/BRO/DUDE/ETC BUT I DON'T MEAN IT GENDERED SO IF YOU FEEL IFFY THEN DONT HESITATE TO HMU N TELL ME TO FIX UP MY SHIT
btw im a tad bit of train wreck but if u enjoy the chaos then we'll get along js fine i think pooks 😋😋
anyways it came to my shitty little attention span one day when i was just being a silly lil girly that some of yall think im white when i say im british....... CHAT NOOO IM BORN N RAISED IN THIS TEA RIDDEN COUNTRY BUT ETHNICITY WISE IM BANGLADESHI!??!?! YALL IM LITERALLY A BROWNIE OMFDS 🤧
also a lot of this blog is a bunch of reblogs of shit im interested in BUT I DO HAVE OG STUFFFFFF, THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN TAGS U GET ME??? anyways some of the tags!!!
karmaajr rambles -> for everything i post besides answers to asks :3
karmaajr answers ig :D -> answers to asks ^^
important thing for me to tag bcuz yes -> random thing i really wanna save (also im bad at tagging so sometimes thing has an "s" or tag has an "s" lmfao, ITS A RLLY USELESS TAG TO TRY SCROLL THRU ICL.... RLLY DRY AS WELL)
karmas mum mentions :3 -> i like to think this one explains itself yall 😘
daddy's unhinged -> anything about my sweet ol' pops (who totes cares abt me yall) 🥰
my sister and I -> anything my sister is involved in that i actually remember to tag LMFAO
NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK -> me wanting to save things that r to do w my gf 🫶
BTW HIS @ IS @panikbutt0n AND SHE'S MY MAPLE SYRUP CHUGGING 4LIFER AND LITERALLY THE BEST THING SINCE RIPPED BREAD AND I LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH SO ACC HIT HER UP PLZ 🙏🙏🙏🙏
btw yall, ur homegirl aint no gatekeeper so the group matching pfp thingy is from @tuturthecarvroom 's blog (n they very skibidi sbg art btw so i do reccomend frfr) and mY HEADER IS OFF GOOGLE SEARCH 😍😍
ALSO I AM CURRENTLY MATCHING WITH THE SILLIEST GROUP EVER FRFR, GONNA TRY @ THEM ALL BUT IT'S HARDDD (my memory is the shittiest thing since That One Time my friend shit his trousers on call w me 💪💪💪)
@lee1504 -> BRAINROTTED KING 🙏🙏
@d011zk1ll -> both kind af and somewhat unhinged??? like both "do a good deed to make somebody else's life easier ☺️" AND "im gonna eat a bicycle :p"
@sketchingwithlyn -> JUST THE CHILLEST GUY EVERRRR!!!!
@rot-decay-erosion -> gramps 🧓🏻 (also known as the desendant of our king garfield 😙✨️)
@afrogwhocantdraw -> RESIDENT BENLOR POOKIE
@low-senka -> the brokest senior citezen youve ever met 💔💔💔💔 (yall need to donate to my guy 🥺🥺🥺)
(also the thing below had me stuck looking at it for literally AGES so hehehehehhehehe GET TRAPPED IDIOT!!!!!! >:3!!!!!)
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(dots r fun)
anyways i have no clue what else to write!!! which is weird bcuz im a yapper frfr :D
ANYWAYS LOVE Y'ALL ✨️✨️✨️
WAIT
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THEY 👥 DONT🙅🏼♀️ LOVE 😘 YOU 🫵🏼 LIKE I 👀 LOVE 🥰 YOU 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼
#karmaajr rambles#important thing for me to tag bcuz yes#karmaajr answers ig :D#karmas mum mentions :3#my sister and i#daddy's unhinged#NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK#anyways please tell me i did good on this yall 🙏🙏🙏🙏#yall i did good right-#PLSSS#CHAT 🙏🙏
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imo an important part of loving a piece of media is being able to critique it so hard that it sounds like you hate it. tearing it to shreds over what you honestly believe to be relatively minor flaws compared to what you like about it. identifying themes/elements/game design/etc. that conflicts with the central core of that thing you love so much demands an intimate knowledge that, really, only love can procure.
love or a deep and deranged hatred, at least.
#fandom#literary analysis#whatever i dont feel like tagging a bunch#this post is about xenoblade chronicles 2#but also its about your favorite thing
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Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
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@cmoonghost I drew your Alfy 🥺 he is very cute n. Pretty n I love he… 🫶💕
#ff#ffxiv#sesame#Alf#yeah I’ll tag him too heh#not my oc#Sesame is my oc#yeah whatever y’all understand#I snooped through ur tumblr a lil I hope u don’t mind hehehe#best of luck Alf there are many handsome bachelors in this game I’m sure you will have a prime pick of the bunch hegeheh#oh also everyon Alf is Sesame’s long distant elezen cousin#..#no im jk they just look similar heh#ah uh also hope ypu dont mind but i just gave him a sweater i didnt feel like details tonight ahh
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google search how to safely have my friends from other groups smell each other through the door like cats so they can be introduced
#thinking about birthday plans and it is scary#i have to work out something to actually Do other than just throw a bunch of people in a call and be like we are hanging out now ^-^#because i feel like there are some flaws with that#although...... almost all of my friends own tabletop sim. which is awesome and has a lot of potential#ouuuugh i also have to think about peoples schedules. which is so fucked up and evil#i should be able to just psychically know if everyone is free on like the fifth of april rather than having to ask#sighs. this is probably more than my brain can handle rn but also if i dont do anything for my birthday ill die. whatever whatever whatever#i stay certifiably silly#original post placeholder tag
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whatever dude
#not putting this in the main tags bc theyre just a bunch of crappt doodles but yah#this is salem. her name is annabelle now because i like that name more#she's silly and had to save the world or whatever. who cares about that she's got a shiny larvitar#feel free to send in some asks abt her. or dont idc#peaches vs not drawing people with two toned hair#shut up momo#oc: annabelle
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sonic and snufkin actually kind of feel like very similar characters to me. holding hands over “my personal sense of freedom and dedication to making decisions based on what I think is right is what matters most, and if you’ve built some idealized version of me in your head then that’s none of my business and it’s not my responsibility if the reality of who i am lets you down in some way”. also the deep connection to nature and all.
#N posts stuff#this is also a little why i am extremely picky about fanfic for these two#bc fic where like. snufkin finally settles down in the valley or lets moonin come along on his winter journey or whatever#they grate because it feels like you’re getting rid of a core of snufkin’s character for convenience.#‘he would not fucking do that’ style. i don’t like it.#like you do you it’s not a big deal it’s just personal opinion#the same for sonic. for him it’s less about being tied down in a literal sense and more to do with. conceptually#like sonic is a character very Unavailable emotionally and i dont think that’s something about himself he’s willing to change#i think that sonic is a very Internal person and his personal sense of freedom is such that like#he doesn’t Care what other people think about him. in sa2 he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been mistakenly labeled a villain bc that’s#none of his business. and in tbk he’s blunt about how he’ll happily become the ‘villain’ in other people’s eyes if he’s making the choice He#thinks is right. i don’t think his aversion to emotional sincerity or openness comes from some Hero Persona#i think he just doesn’t ever want to be put in a position where he has to navigate his friends emotions about his emotions#meaning like. being open about your problems opens you up to people who think they know better than you and want to force you to listen#to them ‘for your own good’ which i think sonic would resent on a lot of levels. so he’s unwilling to make himself vulnerable to that#but also even if someone isn’t Forcing you to listen you can still hurt people by ‘refusing’ to take care of yourself the way They think#is best. so their emotions become a coercive force intentionally or otherwise which sonic would also resent#and sonic doesn’t want to resent his friends. so he’s like ‘okay i just won’t put us in that position then’#i also think he doesn’t feel a need to Justify himself to anyone. so explaining his emotions or the Whys of who he is#feels like an attempt at justification that sonic would dislike and avoid on Principle even if he’s the only one seeing it that way#anyway ‘he would not fucking say that’ but it’s sonic having a genuine moment of emotional honesty#i do think that snufkin is more. Open to his own emotions though. and the expression of them#Comet ‘weeping over the sea’ moment my beloved. sonic Wouldn’t do that i think#i do think he closes himself off to his own emotions he doesn’t want to be tied down by Those either#which is why i also think that sonic as a character is informed by repressed/dissociative amnesia#like i Am projecting a little but i also think it makes sense for him. ‘who i used to be is none of my business i only care about#who i am Right Now’ which is another reason why he doesn’t like talking about his honest emotions#bc if he talks about them then He can’t forget them properly bc that moment is now in someone else’s head for them to remember and remind#him of. and he doesn’t want to do that so it’s for the best if he never admits to anything so he’s free to ignore and forget what he wants#In My Opinion. these tags got long i wonder if tumblr is going to delete a bunch lol
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 3: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should throw a coin into the mysterious well ….
"After nearly ten minutes rummaging through the disorganization at the bottom of his backpack, he finally approaches the well once again, meager coin pouch in hand. He meticulously balances a little golden coin on the tip of his thumb, positioning it just so for an elegant coin flip… With a flick of his hand, the coin wobbles off, anticlimactically dropping into the darkness.. He pouts, leaning in to listen for a plonk as the coin hits the water but… nothing…. silence.. A few minutes pass and he shrugs, moving to pick up his bag and just continue his journey elsewhere, when suddenly a faint noise echoes from the well.. an almost cartoonish plopping sound, like wet feet slapping against stone..? The pitter patter grows closer and closer…then stops abruptly. The adventurer cautiously slinks over to the well, only to find.. a creature of some sort, clinging to the walls, staring up at him blankly. - What should he do next?"
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#(I saw a few people tag these as that and I guess it makes sense. hmm)#DAY 3!!! vote to choose this little man's fate#Sad that people did not want to go into the well.. :( Maybe we can still go in depending on how things go with#The Creachure. I mean I know I could just make whatever happen anyway since I'm the one doing it but. It has to feel natural lol#it would be obviously just me doing what I want if I was like 'oh uh we went to throw the coin in the well but he tripped and#fell and then somehow didnt die and whoops he's in the well anyway!!'' lol#I care more about things being realistic and natural than following whatever ideas seem interesting. If it was voted for him to explode#into a million pieces sadly I would simply have to explode him. audience says#let me know if the formatting of this is weird?? also? I wasn't sure where to put the slightly longer bit of text#so I kept it under a reas more just to the post looks neater. I thought it'd seem weird with a bunch of text blocks sandwiching the poll#and too much going on. But I also feel like it's organizationally weird if all the details are at the end? eh..#bt then at least it's optional. not everyone will want to read more. And it's not like.. amazing text lol#I'm slapping them out off of the top of my head with minimal editing because I have to get it done and I know if I make it too complicated#or become concerned with like things being Perfectly Revised then I will absolutely not be able to do it once a day#Same with the obvious sketchy ms paint art lol. But so like. I dont feel as bad about kind of having the text be options#*optional since it's not like 'omg this is so good u have to read this' it's like.. eh.. passable amount of detail ghbj#ANYWAY. and 'paventure' (poll + adventure) is just temporary so I have a way to tag this on the blog/keep up with the posts#in a organized way. I think 'padventure' is more obvious but that's already the name of other things and I didnt want the tags to be#confusing or like.. post in some random tag that people already use for something else#but the only thing I found when googling 'paventure' is like. .some venture capital business from PA. and who cares about that lol#explanation probably not needed but I think it sounds a bit silly so I'm justifying myself to myself lol#ANYWAY. lov his silly hat. I want to draw him more. I want to name him. I COULD DO A POLL TO CHOOSE A NAME#but that wouldn't fit in with any of the days lol. maybe if I make it a week actually doing it or something at the end of the week#I could do a bonus poll or something. ??? idk.. ANYWAY.. new day!
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this line paired with the fact that (if my spoilers were right anyway) peepers did the loveheart pupils thing directed toward hater . much to think about
#Which could mea#this probably makes no sense without the context Wgatever whatever i just need to talk about them#i know like the whole thing jsntheyre evil and they do awful things constantly Anyways but that part in the funk where peepers just keeps#doing increasingly bad things just to try and amuse hater a little bit and cheer him up#i keep thinking back to it and im like ough wow love is happening#love is alive in the evil fucking skull spaceship#and another thing about that episode . i dunno if the part with the van and peepers reuniting hater with what he originally loved about#villainy was like. the show maybe implying that peepers knew hater back then? like theyve known eachother since before hater had the whole#rest of the watchdog army and the ship . i think i love to think that he was with him since before that#omg that makes the watchdogs kinda sweet ..i dont want any other things i want my army to be just a bunch of your species that looks#identical to u#this shit is. so good.#ALSO BACK TO THEBORIFINAL TOPIC. in the scene where peepers does the heart thing bc of hater#from what ive seen of it it looks like theres like several layers not just the one heart that all the watchdogs got from the present#AND ANOTHER THING#im just wondering like. i know hater treats peepers badly too but the with the thing at the end about how wander made the watchdogs think#that it was hater giving them all the gifts and that was what made them so happy . cuz they usually get absolutely no validation from him at#all. i feel like that wouldn’t like be the same in peepers case yknow. like he’s the only one who actually talks to hater and they’re on lik#pretty sorta kinda casual acquantance terms compared to most of the watchdogs like hoping to ever have a conversation with hater intheirlife#ok thats it#Oh jesus thats a big tag ramble. hokay
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Okay I've been thinking about the lil cute therian fic I've been writing, and I think I know how I wanna end it and it's like. Very much self indulgent not really accurate to the mechanisms canon and way too cute but the thing is I can do whatever I want forever so I think Im gonna do it (I'm only like idk 1/3 done tho so don't get too excited fjdnfjndn)
#okay like im gonna spoil it in tags#this is my warning there will be nothing else in the tags#so basically in the fic youre a dog that got kidnapped by the mechs with a bunch of your coworkers#a heist just for fun and to kill some random people out of boredom#but you survive on the ship bc you hide#but then Tim finds you and at first jonny tells him to kill you like the rest#but tim is like. hold on. that person is not a human i dont think. i don't wanna kill an animal#and jonny is like this is stupid. but whatever. were gonna put it back on earth were not keeping it timothy#and thats pretty much all i have for now#but then you just kinda. hang around on the aurora while youre going back to earth and you meet a few of the other mechs#they all have different reactions to you but in the end everyone somewhat accepts that youre a dog#and i wasnt sure how to end it#one option was to just go back home and be done with this silly little adventure and go back to living a normal life as a person#but youre happy you finally met some people that accept you for what you are even if for a moment#the other option would be to stay on the ship kind of as a pet#but that felt a bit off to me because youre not a literal dog youre a human that is a dog yknow. and that feels a bit too. idk weird#but i think i got the solution#what if. you get mechanized#and your human body is replaced with an anthro dog. so you can still be a thinking person you were but with a body that makes sense#like kind of like a permanent fursuit but more metal#and yeah that doesnt make much sense in the mechs canon like thats too nice of them and ill have to think of a good reason for that#but wouldnt that be just. so cute#like thats honestly the dream#i love robots and i am a dog so. if i could get mechanized to be a steel furry id agree right away like not even think about it#kind of like in that one love robots and death episodes with the kitsune#that scene where she transforms into a robot fox is my favorite in the whole ep i think and it honestly gives me species euphoria#so yeah i think im gonna ignore canon for that one but and give the reader/mc a sweet happy ending#and now youre a doggy pirate in space surrounded by people who are okay with that!!! isnt that the best#therian#bee buzz
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thinking about horror film au marauders.. (tw. lotta gore)
lily the nerdy, bossy character that comes out with a giant axe and brutally beats up the killer/s to the shock of every other character
peter is either the bargaining character that tries to bargain and give the killer/s what they want just as he's about to die. or the character secretly on the killer's side that's revealed at the end
definitely giving wolfstar the making out whilst a killer is in their house/car/woods
mary, dorcas, remus, and lily all turning to each other wondering which of them is gonna die first, when they realise they're basically in a horror film cause of the black character dying first trope (i watched the blackening yesterday and the tagline "we can't all die first" gave me this hc. very good film. highly recommend)
sirius is the resident horror film expert that tells them what the killer usually does next (im imagining someone dying and everyone is just screaming over the dying body and sirius is also screaming but then adds in "this is exactly like that scene in wrong turn!"
the screamers are probably mary, remus, and james. not a definite though. i can see it being other people.
marlene gets the most jump scare scenes and emmeline gets the most hearing creaking and footsteps
james is the best at fighting but absolutely hates blood. feel like there needs to be a scene where he's like punching a masked killer and is doing SO WELL. and he gets the killer on the ground and is about to pull the mask off when the killer pulls out a knife and stabs at his hands and chest and shit. and he just screams and backs away staring at his blood until he faints.
as marlene dies, she clutches dorcas' hand and whispers "the lesbians never get a happy ending. apart from fear street... why couldn’t this be like fear street?"
the final girl HAS to be mary. ofc.
#im very much a satire horror fan. in case you couldn’t tell from this.#gonna explain how everyone dies (other than mary) in the tags cause im having ideas now i thought i was finished#idk the order so this is random and not at all chronological#remus- is high as fuck. thinks sirius or james is pranking him and then gets stabbed or whatever#sirius- tries to out horror the killer. tips a bucket of fake blood on them. has a chainsaw and mask#has a bunch of recording devices with sounds he previously made. etc. but then his fucking phone goes off#and he gets so annoyed because thats such a rookie mistake. and he asks to cut and do a retake just before the killer kills him#marlene- kinda already said about her death. but feel like it's def outside like in the street and shes only with dorcas#i already said james' death#lily- feel like there's more than one killer and she manages to kill one. just to turn around and another to get her#dorcas- she gets VERY into it once marlene dies. definitely gets hits in if not killing some of the killers.#but they ultimately get stabbed a lot and they run to marlene's body whilst bleeding out instead of the hospital#and she dies in marlene's dead grasp.#emmeline doesn't get killed for a while. is bait in a plan to catch killer/s but the plan goes wrong and she gets pushed out a high window#i havent mentioned other characters but why not say their deaths.#regulus- he's made to be involved with like a scene in a library where they go to him to ask about some secret history of the town#and then is killed the next day but has s bunch of writings and pages of books around his room about the killers and hes solved it#but the killer burns it all before anyone gets there#pandora- kinda want her to the first death for some reason idk.. like it gets framed as a suicide but so many people dont believe it#and the killings go on#barty- sees the masked killer and like jokes around touching their mask and stuff. and then the killer just like. brings out an axe#and chops his head off#evan- dont know why but im imagining him driving and getting those spikes in the road to lure him out the car#also btw didn't mention peter's death cause im leaning towards him being secretly one of the killers#and gets killed by either lily or dorcas#was gonna say barty and evan could be killers then i realised i made them kill reg and pandora and cas so people would not like that#also no mary death obviously since shes the final girl. survivor ever <3 immortal <3#marauders era#marauders#tw. gore
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ngl the worst thing about the xenoblade fandom (which I think is the root cause of a lot of other issues) is that it’s mostly on twitter. I have to subject myself to twitter for any real consistent fan talk or content. legit there's always some new stupid topic of argument ive noticed in the past few weeks on there and its all very silly and frustrating and what im saying is everyone should move to Tumblr. please. for me.
#siren says#the other root problem in the fandom is that as of 2 there's just a lot of fans who are clearly there for sexy anime lady reasons. and that#in turn bleeds into certain peoples perception of those characters as mostly sex symbols and attracts a lot of...certain kinds of#individuals. specifically ones who dont really understand what fandoms basic principals are. the amount of times ive seen someone going "um#but thats not canon or some comment along those lines is so stupidly high. and I thought it was just homophobia and certainly part of it is#but I also saw it on a fucking glimmer/nikol art??? like. neither of them have any other love interests and its a perfectly cute if cliche#pairing and you STILL have people being contrarian? I think a lot of these gamer bro types just dont understand basic fandom guidelines ngl#and idk I also feel kind of alienated from other queer fans bc I kind of like some of the ships most of them hate and I felt like if I ever#tried to reach out it would just be awkward idk. at least the people I see on tw who I think are very cool writers or artists or whatever#xenoblade really should be bigger on here Tumblr goes on and on about the romanticization of cannibalism and weird divine imagery#and machines that are also alive and maybe even angels and im like. BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A SERIES FOR YOU#including saga and gears btw ESPECIALLY them actually. tumblr would love A's gender fuckery I just know it but A is stuck to mostly being#known by twitter a cruel fate for an enby if I ever saw one. free A :(((((#actually I just need to get a bunch of Aros into xenoblade they'd understand me then :3 understand me and my nontraditional relationship hcs#xenoblade#putting this in the main tags o7 pray for me
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... (absolutely useless rant in tags)
#okay im gonna rant in the tags about us politics for a sec#and remember i am just a person and my info may be flawed and i am almost definitely biased with my use of it#but ive been seeing a lot of 'trump is so much worse i dont think you remember how bad trump was' going around#as like a tactic for voting for biden#as if people considering not voting for biden are doing it for like frivolous reasons#hes funding a genocide!#thats not a funny little flaw or something to ride out#i am by no means saying vote for trump and i will say that i voted for biden last election specifically to get trump out#the people considering not voting for biden are not just doing it because because they dont agree with him completely#they are doing it specifically because of his active and meaningful policies that go against their morals and ethics#even if we take palestine out of it (which we shouldnt but for arguments sake)#hes delivered on almost zero of his promises!#like he promised to change a bunch of shit if elected and he hasnt really done anything#in fact we are in the same or worse condition nationally than we were four years ago#the difference is that democrats feel comfortable because theres a democrat in office#anyway#i think you should all vote uncommitted in your primaries#and no matter what vote when it comes to the national election for whoever you feel with do right for yourself#and your morals and ethics and whatever#k mumbles
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jesus fucking christ.
#abt wilbur.#abuse#this is largely going to be my rambling immediate largely self centric thoughts so . yknow keep scrollin if you dont want that.#i have nothing meaningful to add to the conversation except watch shelbys vod.#at first i only saw wills tweet bc my brother told me about it#and i thought it was about his EX ex girlfriend or something so i brushed it off like 'oh okay damn a general misunderstanding'#then i searched tumblr saw shubble. found her vod . jesus christ.#hes always poked fun at himself being like 'yeah im shit and manipulative'#so theres always been a nagging. ick . in the back of my head. but never enough to actually. stop myself from liking his content/music.#so yeah. another lesson in 'no no red flags exist for a reaosn. listen to your instincts is a saying for a reason.'#all the love and support to shelby. her candidness & how obviously much she HAS been able to grow past THAT SHIT is genuinely inspirational#not that she needs to be inspirational etc. etc. its just good to know she'll be okay. shes in a good place. thank god.#all the stress for wilburs content friends. whether theyve been manipualteed whether theyve whatever i hope theyre . making good choices.#i say give them time. ik theres a lot of creators immediately coming out. therell be a lot who have to process this shit.#there'll be a lot whove. knowinigly / accidentally been complicit. theyre individuals treat them as such.#personally i just . have not cared about m a n y dsmp era mcyt for a W H I L E . so im happy to detach forever at thsi rate.#i havent been in the mcyt sphere for a hot fucking minute now. i hope youre all doing okay.#this shit hits weird. its okay to feel weird. if you want somewhere to vent my dms the replies on this post the tags are all free and open.#don't stew in it. you dont have to fear feeling selfish or self-centric or shifting the spotlight. you need to let that shit out.#thsis hit sucks !!!! a bunch of his/lvjy songs are comfort songs for me.#idk what the fuck to do about that. my immediate /want/ is to burn it. but thats easier said than done sometimes#if youre gonna 'separate the art from the artist' at least fucking pirate his music. youtube to mp3 that shit.#you can add local 'on your computer' files to spotify.#seperate art from the artist by seperating his monetary gain of YOUR consumption of it as much as possible. /AT LEAST/.#but also good luck separating his largely personal art from him.#im not tryna be condescending im in the same boat.#fucking white whine in a wetherspoons is no. 2 on my panic attacks playlist.#thats not his to take from me anymore. but ik if i listen to it ever again itll make my skin crawl.#ofc its not about me. its not about us the unaware fans. and im glad to know for sure now hes a REAL piece of shit.#m
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the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am
#horse.txt#vent //#sort of. too high to be sad abt it im in anthropology mode and listening to music that makes me feel sexy so its fine yk#anyway i typed a whole bunch of other tags talking abt how and why i feel this way by going through a few of the events i can remember#from my childhood that Might explain why im so emotionally guarded and struggle to open up anymore.#bc i Wanted to say they all felt dumb and juvenile esp since ive actually like#made peace with most of the ppl who were involved with them#but the Anthropology mode was just tearing it all down as i typed it bc that Is just a ridiculous way to look at it no matter how you cut it#doesn't matter that nobody involved really Meant to deal that kind of harm and i dont need to hate or blame anyone in order to acknowledge#that it still just Happened. like thats a Memory already babe no do overs.#which is kind of just accidental therapy so sick. love that fir me genuinely!#but also yes theres the bitch part of me that still wants to discredit it bc acknowledging that it happened =/= Fixing My Issues#so im still at square one technically. ive just been pacing in circles on it for a while ig#EVEN WORSE that the Scale of my issues is so incredibly mundane compared to so many of the people i seem to meet.#sitting in bed crying abt not having friends for a few days in elementary school when other ppl have jojos bizarre adventure levels of Lore#i know im not technically invalid for feeling the way i do or anything but god. if it doesn't feel fucking Embarrassing to open up about😭#its impossible NOT to feel stupid and sensitive for having these first world ass problems. And letting them hold me back#bc ppl not liking me for any reason makes me sooooooooo fucking scared So fucking scared its not even funny 😝#at least. ppl in my Circles. im pretty ok about being assertive with randos#still some work to be done on it but its better than whatevers going on with my personal relationships rn#sincerely to my mutuals and loved ones who see this i swear to GOD i love you so so so fucking much and im so. im trying to figure out this#the stuff thats got me so distant and bad at keeping in touch. its a whole slew of feelings about how i see Myself--not yall#i double pinky promise cross my heart im extremely serious#thank you for being patient with me you mean more to me than im capable of putting into words right now#alright theres a shot of tears in the hollow of my collar bone time to wrap up this post#daily reminder that i love body hair. there's some honesty.#😎😎😎💪💪💪#the Quaritch under the cut is just to make me feel better bc i love him and i think hes so pretty. hes like a security blanket
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this took forever and i think it was worth it
(adding names for search reasons) koralei, ena, eddie, lee, vee, danny, ruby, nightcloud, pg142
#my post#my art#colors#drawing i made to be my new desktop background#if youre wondering why the tree is left blank without ornaments: its for the app icons!#the left half is all my OCs and the right half is obviously other peoples characters#the middle is my sona and my cat#if youre wondering what the theme is with all the ones on the right#its characters i relate to#+ barney and the pig from unpacking who i relate to for different reasons. also i didnt want to add more full size characters#for a few reasons lol#why is it xmas? because i had this idea during xmas because my xmas was fucking awful and it actually just took me forever to finish this#this was basically just to make myself feel better and also draw characters i love a lot#im about to add a bunch of tags for organization reasons. i really dont care if other people like this post or not ahghdg#kingdom project#i rly should have a tag for my ocs but shrug whatever idk#my ocs#mlp#wof#tangled#hlvrai#su#depp#unpacking#world of warcraft#bats#i couldve done more to the drawing but. i didnt want to <3
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