#what’s funny is most of these characters are doomed and it hurts me

[scrumptiousstuffs]

i’ve never watched any of p’au works so i don’t know the kind of atmosphere he put in his shows, but since OL is a funny comedy maybe CFC will have a lot of comedy too and i know people will get mad at bcs ppl hate funny things

I was delighted when I found out FirstKhaotung will be working with P’Au. If you have only watched OL, then I implore you to watch the others shows he has directed - this includes the massively successful My School President that pretty much put Gem4th on the map of Thai BL and My School Mix Up (also Gem4th)

Plus, he is the protege of P’Aof and has worked closely with him (being his assistant director) of these projects: Last Twilight, Moonlight Chicken, Bad Buddy, A Tale of 1000 Stars, Still 2gether

And also the screenwriter for classic Thai BL (pre-2020 era): including Theory of Love (OffGun) and Dark Blue Kiss (TayNew and PoddGawin)

Now, I haven’t watched Theory of Love and Dark Blue Kiss, but I’ve watched all the rest. And while I may not vibe with some of them (Last Twilight, I’m looking at you 😅), these shows are still excellent in their own right.

Suffice to say, P’Au track record is pretty good. His flare is slightly different from P’Aof who tends to be more angsty-vibe/melodramatic/lakorn-like while I find P’Au to be softer, more romantic still with some angst/hurt-comfort vibe. And as you can tell with OL, I think he is doing a good job with balancing comedy as well.

As for your last sentence about “people will get mad because they hate funny things” - I’m interpreting it as you alluding to some FK fans (or casual watchers of FK-related things) wanting them to play only in serious, dramatic/angsty roles. I suspect this is partly because their introduction to FK is from The Eclipse, MLC or OF (or even THK), where let’s be honest - their roles are more “heavier” and serious in nature.

See, this is where I will like people to go watch First/Khaotung earlier roles because the boys have great comedic timing.

First in The Shipper (and as a supporting character in Wake up Ladies) was amazing. Seeing First (in The Shipper) embodying a fangirl while also trying to navigate his (her?) feeling for the best friend and brother - was funny but doozy lol

You can tell he was still honing his skills then but without these roles, we won’t get his subtle but effective comedic take of this scene in the THK (for example):

Similarly, Songpol/Paul in 55:15 Never Too Late. This show remains the most under-rated gem of a show ever. Seeing Khaotung acting like a 55 yrs old man in a 15 yrs old body while simultaneously fangirling over his idol - EPIC (plus his chemistry with Piploy (she plays Jeya) - the idol he worshipped (who with Paul suddenly finding themselves in their 15 yrs old bodies), his now same aged niece as the latter tries to teach him how to be 15 yrs old effectively - 🫡🫡🫡). I still cried buckets for him (by the end of the show) because what is a KT show without tears 😭 but it was worth it.

(Here, have a fun reel of Paul/Jaya being chaotic lol):

And let’s not forget Tonhon Chonlatee - I know people trashed this show a lot. Yes, it’s not the greatest series. But again, Khaotung nailed it with the comedic scenes. And the way he can say all the cringiest lines with an earnest, cute face just made me snort with laughter, ok? This show also has the best queer friendship group ever. Not to mention - Khaotung and Ciize chemistry as besties. It also has people (who did watch it) worshipping Khaotung/Neo as a ghostship.

I guess what I’m trying to say is - I have the upmost faith in FirstKhaotung and P’Au. FK have never failed us and they always shined in whatever they were given (even when it’s just a cameo/side roles - I’m looking at you Zero!! Home School Season 2 when?) and just looked at them with their cameo in OL recently (as Alone/Kaitong).

I’m not sure why people want doom and gloom so much for them (the real world is already terrible as it is). So, give me all the good vibes, fluffy cats and sweetest romance (with a touch of comedy or more 😉) - I, for one, cannot wait for this! (Ads and blatant sponsors of pet food/toys included 🤣)

[percentstardust]

kid aemond whenever he sees rhaenyra with a lemon cake: may I have some kind older sister my favorite older sister PLEASE MAY I HAVE SOME FUTURE QUEEN OF THE REALM

[tgcg]

happy day of egbert

CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?

TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you

TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert

TG: half press to focus subject

TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot

CG: BUT --

TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine

===

EB: yeah, come on karkat!

EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.

EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.

EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…

EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!

===

CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.

CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.

CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.

TG: alright give us a sec

TG: huddle formation

EB: psssshhh, alright.

===

TG: youre not gonna fuck this up

TG: your ass is completely secure dude

TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville

EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?

EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.

TG: 'xactly

TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone

===

CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?

CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.

TG: woah wait youre legit into it?

CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.

CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.

TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us

TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!

CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.

TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright

===

CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --

===

CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.

CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!

EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.

CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.

CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.

CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.

EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…

===

EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!

CG: WHAT

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[thanosscross]

Better as team - Pre Squid game!Choi Su-Bong/Thanos x reader

Summary: In Thanos fashion of being different, he managed to pull one of the biggest rappers in America and UK, despite his very odd and unhinged behavior, upcoming singer/rapper Y/n has no issue sharing the spotlight with her boyfriend

Warnings: None really other than Thanos's drug use, just some funny sweet pre games! Thanos! <3

A/n: So I had to take a different approach because Thanos doesn't really have any songs by the character, so I took a route with some of T.O.P's music, making Nam-Gyu this universe's G-dragon for some songs, so let me know what you think <3

Long distance was hard, especially whenever your fiancée lived in Korea currently, even if you moved everything of yours in his house, you were still forced to be in America or part of the United kingdom most of the time touring, recording, or filming. You never knew how to fix it until Su-Bong decided to step into the rap game himself, you were happy to support him, even collaborating with him on a lot of your songs, even if it was just back-up vocals.

Your fans were quick to fall in love with Thanos in the same way you did, but they didn't see the sweet vulnerable of him, only a few thousand of your friends saw the true Thanos, and that was at his first show with you.

As the giant props slid open revealing you and Thanos you were immediately shocked by how loud the screaming truly was, You jumped off the platform, starting to sing along with the track that played in your ear piece, as you heard Thanos rap his verse, you noticed he was still on the platform, holding onto the railing tightly. The entire show Thanos was glued to you on stage, either holding your hand, or just being near you. The more you preformed though, the more Su-bong found his groove on stage, allowing you both to have a lot more freedom and fun on stage as you sung with him.

You had just released your first single for the year, it wasn't your best work, but your fans seemed to like it a lot, including your fiancée. So as you preformed it on stage, following your choreography that you practiced hours beforehand, You shoved your finger to Thanos's chest as you rapped your verse, once you ended it and the instrumental played for a moment you walked away, pointing towards the camera blowing it a kiss before Thanos quickly picking you up running down to the end of the stage smiling "No! Thanos!" You shouted holding onto him "Take care of my girl!" He shouted before gently handing you over to crowd surf, you squealed, nervous about falling and being swarmed, Thanos watched closely as he starting rapping his verse, following you along on the stage "Alright give me her back! You're gonna hurt her!" Thanos jokingly shouted reaching out into the crowd, you thanked everybody as they helped you over the barrier, back on stage.

Once Thanos started making his own singles, it made everything a new type of fun. He had multiple, Doom Dada, Turn it up, Knock out, and Zutter, some that you'd occasionally have verses in, others were solely Thanos, others he had his friend sing with him, and you couldn't be more proud of him. As you stood on the platform you smiled at your fiancée watching him rap, with his friend, hearing the familiar lyrics to Zutter you swayed your hips to Su-Bong's, as much as he annoyed you, he was always hot on stage, his bad boy act he did was always adorable. As he continued moving his hand along with his words he made his way to you, bringing you over with him to the center of the stage, basically using you as his back up dancer, you laughed at him glancing at his friend who just laughing sticking his tongue out to motion he had taken his stupid cross necklace with him to the concert. As you held his hand you mimicked the dancer who was a few feet in front of you with Nam-Gyu, bending at the waist and swaying your hips, Thanos just smirked, it making him even cockier if ever possible. As you spun around to get in line with the others to blend out of the dance, Thanos just pulled you close to him as he squatted down to rap to some of the girls up front against the barricades. You wanted to strangle him, but instead just continued until the song ended, Nam-Gyu going backstage while his next single came on, you walked around, purposely trying to match the moves your chorographers showed you to 'compliment' each other during verses and songs.

As you finished your show, you felt as if you were going to pass out, saving your most upbeat songs for the very end was a mistake, You laid on the stage floor, the curtain had been closed for awhile, the fans all funneled out not long ago, but the floor was so cool against your face "Sunflower, What're you doing on the floor?" Thanos asked approaching you with your coat "I'm so hot, and so tired" You groaned, not wanting to move yet, Thanos just sighed pulling you to your feet raising his eyebrows as your head fell back in exhaustion "I wanna go home" You groaned smacking his side playfully, he just laughed wrapping your coat around your shoulders along with his arm, leading you out to the tour bus "Come on, we can sleep in here, until we get to the hotel" He offered shutting and locking the door after you walked in, you nodded, crawling into the bed placed in the back of the tour bus, Su-bong not far behind.

Your California shows were even more exhilarating, because of your and your boyfriend's hometowns, your guy's music reached to all different areas of the world, making you both known internationally. As you stood on the stage you stood in shock at how huge the arena was "I think this might be our biggest show, Baby" You stated noticing your purple haired boyfriend making his way to the stage floor "Holy shit!" He shouted, spinning around, his little rapper heart exploding at just the size of the place, not to mention that you were sold out, so they were all there for you and him. You smiled walking over to him giggling "We still have mic check" You reminded, he just turned pulling you closer to his body "This is fucking amazing" He whispered pressing his lips to yours, you happily kissed back, never noticing your other band mate walking out "Holy shit, guys!" Nam-Gyu shouted before noticing the both of you "Guys! We have mic check! Not mouth check!" He groaned, going to grab all the microphones from the stage manager.

The show is crazy for you at least, everybody was screaming and singing along, the vibes between the three of you on stage was perfect, everything was going right and you could tell it made the three of you even more pumped. As you jumped around singing along with Thanos to your shared song 'high high', you weren't very open about your sex life, but you had a character to play on stage, using your bisexuality show mainly in your songs. As you got to the chorus you had to hold back a laugh watching Nam-Gyu jump onto Thanos's back as he sang with his friend, Smirking making your way to the edge of the stage, offering your hands to your fans as the boys continued singing. As the show continued you stopped for a moment to breathe "You guys wanna hear my favorite song?" You asked teasingly into your microphone, the crowd screamed loudly in response, Your fiancée's eyes snapping over to yours "Only if Y/n does the chorography right" He replied, his voice deep as he looked up to you through his lashes, you rolled your eyes going to your marker as Knock out started to blare through the speakers. You moved with both boys as they sung, you microphone sitting with your stage manager so you wouldn't risk dropping it. You giggled a bit as you shifted to the left and right quickly with the beat of the music, watching Nam-Gyu make his way to the end of the stage with his verse, as Thanos started up he kept eye contact with you, going along with the track in his ear. You weren't sure what to do for a moment, seeing him going off the dance you rehearsed was confusing, but you quickly got back into it as Nam-gyu made his way back over, following his rehearsed part at least. You kept eye contact as you swayed your hips to your fiancée's verse, Nam-Gyu holding your hand in the air as his hand ghosted over your hips, that was one thing you loved about your fellow bandmate, no matter how much he tried to get with you whenever you first met, he was always respectful of you and your relationship while preforming.

You moved away as the boys moved closer together to sing the end chorus together, as the music cut out, it was replaced by screams, you spun around excitedly before walking between the two smiling before looking at Thanos "You like, baby?" He asked into his mic before the lights cut out and the platform on the stage started to close so you were hidden by the props again. "That was amazing!!" You squealed loudly, Thanos just shook his head laughing before bringing his microphone up "You're still on" He whispered, you gasped, your cheeks heating up in a bright red blush, flipping the switches off and handing it to your manager you hugged both boys tightly "I swear that was our best show yet!" Nam-Gyu shouted excitedly, you nodded in agreement as Thanos kept his arms around you "How about, we go..out and party? As celebration?" He offered, you glanced at Nam-Gyu before you both agreed, making your way to the dressing rooms to change.

After your last show in California, you felt like the three of you just bounced off of each other perfectly, your management even making a statement by getting you a shared house to stay in during breaks from tour. Rushing down the stairs to said home you huffed "Boys! We have promo pictures in an hour! Why aren't you ready!?" You shouted in shock, both boys turned their heads to look at you "We are ready, you're just...overdressed" Thanos offered staring at your baggy jeans and tight as hell tanktop, one of his oversized button ups as a cover-up, one sleeve sitting at your elbow, the other sitting on your shoulder "No, I am dressed for our promo and album cover photoshoot!" You whined, they were starting to piss you off, they had known about this for weeks leading up to it, so why weren't they taking it seriously.

After a very long stare down between your bandmates, they rushed upstairs to change before meeting you outside in the car, apologizing to your driver for the wait, you were on your way to the shoot. You wished you could say it got easier after that, but it didn't, the boys pulling off their own poses they wanted, rather than what the photographer and PR team wanted. As you approached the scene, you manager gave you a pleading look, without the need of saying anything you already understood, they were high and not listening to instructions. "Boys! Let's wrap this up!" You demanded before walking to them, standing on your marker, listening carefully as the photographer told you how to stand with both men. As you stood proudly between them, you sighed as they were still talking behind you about what stunt they should try next at the next show, you turned around, the photographer expecting you to shout, but instead you just gently took both men's hands placing them on your shoulders "Now, shut up please, and look pretty" You stated looking at the camera lenses, your manager just laughed shaking her head "That's y/n, both boys listen to her like a scripture" She whispered to the team behind the cameras, you didn't have much issues after that, the tension quickly fading whenever you got on set with the boys.

While you weren't sure how any of this would end in the future, you were all three sure of one thing, you all worked better as a team, the boys giving you the confidence you need to preform live, and you keeping the boys in line and sane whenever it came to literally anything.

--

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Taglist!!

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@private-vampire

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@corrdelia

[poisonf0rest]

genuine question because youre one of my favorite writers, you seem to really have a thorough grasp of the characters: what do you see in rafayel that makes him appealing? i try to get past his entitled brattiness because i really want to enjoy all of the guys, but i cant see anything else. please help me understand 🥲

Oh boy, baby, darling, sweetheart, you opened a can of worms. Come do a little bit of character analysis with me~

About Rafayel:

Rafayel is a brat, yes. But that means he wears his heart on his sleeve, outright when he needs your attention or sulking when something is bothering him or faking a dramatic accident to get your attention. There's no silent guessing or fake "I'm fine's," just his overdramatic, raw emotion that's easy to read. He's has anxious attachment stemming from hundreds of years of betrayal and loss.

Rafayel is a romantic, a yearner. And yes, while I also agree his attitude was annoying at first I am very unfortunately into people who get on my nerves, especially when they are flirty and funny as well. I folded during his hospital scene.

Entitled? He is a god. He has been trying and failing to save his entire civilization for over 800 years and still simply can't because he refuses to hurt the one he loves. While all the boys have been through pain there's something about Rafayel's story that really gets me. I think it’s because if I— as mc— knew the sacrifice he was making, I would give myself up. So to have someone selfish enough to place me first is heartbreaking, devoted, and cruel. 

Also there are plenty of scenes where Rafayel is serious, especially if you read between the lines. The brattiness and sass is a playful cover to someone who's been through pain and understands it. Someone who chooses to still see joy and happiness in his life while fully understanding how cruel the world is.

Simply, I'm a sucker for doomed character archetypes. There is no version of Rafayel's and mc's story where they both end happy. Millions of people will die or if mc kills herself Rafayel will live forever as a husk of his former self. Using a sassy, filirty, bratty attitude to cover up such a genuinely depressing story is so juicy to me.

About Me:

I'm a Zayne irl. Work is honestly the most important thing to me outside my family, I'm devoted to my hobbies and leadership positions, and I have a close circle of friends I would do anything for. I'm also fucking hilarious subjective.

I'm the eldest sibling, the guard dog, the de-facto leader for almost everything. I'm the person who had to grow up fast, to parent my immigrant parents at times, who never made space for love, and who is by default independant and comfortable with it.

I prefer to listen-- I love my yapper friends. Don't get me wrong I can talk for hours about anything, but day to day I tend to get exhausted talking after a while so I surround myself with people who can do the easy talking for me.

My irl partner is a mix between Rafayel and Sylus I'd say. He's the one who pulls me out of my work spirals by nagging me until I give in, someone I'm comfortable yapping about my current hyperfixations too, someone who my inner child can come out to. But I also enjoy being a caregiver, that's always been my role and I relish in it, I like being relied upon as much as I appreciate having someone in my life that lets me take a step back. The only part that's Sylus is how his love language is bullying me and his vibe/looks lmao, but usually I am more into raf-stereotypical pretty boys.

So, overall, the appeal of Rafayel to those that choose him:

Rafayel is for the eldest daughters who needs their inner child to be free, who needs a little bit of ridiculousness and impulsiveness in their lives.

Rafayel is for those who never got praised for their effort or strength, for those who success was the only option, who had to be perfect, reliable and serious all the time. He makes it so clear how much simply being with you means to him, constantly complimenting, flirting, and reassuring you just how much he needs you. Showing you how obsessed with you he is.

Rafayel is for those who didn't think love had a place in their lives due to shit family or life circumstances. He proves time and time again that you're the only one he loves. Even though he's lived forever, you were worth the wait and that he would wait again for you, no matter how long it takes. He proves you can be loved, and that it comes easy.

Rafayel is for those who always placed others first. He's more than willing to show you again and again you will always be first in his mind. He needs you more than he does water. Sure, you can take care of him, but he wants to be with you and take care of you, too.

Rafayel is for those who need someone else to drag them out of work/school/spiralling even when they don't want to admit it, bringing in laughter, color, and a little bit of dramatics.

Rafayel is for creators who dedicate themselves to their craft, who are scared of losing this "spark," who want to get better but constantly feel that what they create isn't enough or must be more. 

Rafayel is for hopeless romantics, those that go out of their way to surprise their friends during their birthdays, those who plan platonic dates for those they care about, those who put out so much love into the world and suddenly break when they get that love back.

Rafayel is for those used to having little siblings or those to take care of in our lives. Only while Rafayel relishes in the attention, he's also ready to give it back five-fold.

Rafayel is a switch for switch (brat for brat) lmao. He's for those who like to start on top, teasing and pushing his buttons to get all those cute reactions out of him, just until he breaks. Then he can take control and finish us up. We love vocal men.

Maybe projecting, but Rafayel is the perfect bi-girl's boyfriend. He's a classic pretty boy, unafraid to be in touch with his feminine side, a little dramatic, a little artsy. But he's also super romantic, sensitive, loving, and intense. And gosh, who could say no to those big puppy eyes?

I could probably continue to talk about Rafayel for hours, but ya, hopefully this helps answer why I and others love this man. Just continue on with the main story and read between the lines with his dialogue and I'm sure you'll pick up on it too~

[kawaiipienerdfreak]

I'll never believe your tears, Sunday.

edit: i was given a great analogy to zuko from avatar, and now i'm not so critical. thanks everyone for your attention

I want to say this upfront: as a character, Sunday works perfectly fine for me. But I absolutely can’t stand how the fandom obediently swallowed such a stupid retcon of his character. And I can’t stand fandom stripped him of all blame. Time and time again, I see posts like: “Oh, my precious little sunshine! Don’t cry... Oh no, he’s crying in his ultimate! He didn’t deserve this, poor thing!”

And I’m left wondering: what the hell?

What the hell was HoYoverse thinking when they gave us a dictator with a god complex (borderline chūnibyō syndrome) as an antagonist? A character who defended someone who sold children into slavery. Someone who mocked a slave for their origins. Someone who placed himself above the local police and even above the very creator of Penacony. All while chaos reigned under his (and Family’s) rule in Penacony. Within Penacony, everything’s a mess: banditry, alcoholism, shady financial dealings. Criminals hide from the hounds in the Dreamscape, and Sunday defends them, driving the hounds away. Many people work for pennies, losing any chance at a better future. And some have even been dragged back after death, turned into lifeless husks just to serve as local attractions.

Sunday knows how to act righteously, but he chooses to do things his own way instead. That’s his whole arc. He became a god (boss version) for the Dreamscape and felt zero guilt over the fact that Penacony under his rule remained a pit of sin and filth, far from any kind of paradise.

And then, we defeat him. He regrets... but only regrets losing. His remorse isn’t about what he did—it’s about being beaten. He’s ready to do it all over again, just with a different strategy.

So again, what the hell?

Why does HoYoverse give us a character like this (admittedly fascinating because he’s ridiculously stubborn, manipulative, selfish, and unhinged), only to suddenly turn him into a martyr, a lamb, and a tragic victim we’re supposed to feel sorry for? Poor Sunday, who only wanted the best but ended up dooming everyone to suffer. They’re so insistent about making us pity him that it’s disorienting. What’s the point? No one’s going to believe it. He locked his own sister in a cage, justified slavery, carried out vigilante justice, and controlled the fates of millions. No one’s going to believe he’s a victim...

Except they d i d. And that’s what pisses me off the most. People have forgotten that just a year ago, he was the thorn in everyone’s side, deliberately hurting those around him with glee. Now they call him “sunshine,” “poor thing,” “precious baby.” They wipe his tears during his ultimate move, saying he doesn’t deserve to be imprisoned, doesn’t deserve to face the consequences of his actions. Are you all out of your minds?

Why didn’t Kokolia get a chance? Why didn’t Tisok 2 get a chance? (Tisok 2 is from a side quest about a ruler whose memories were erased. In it, we’re shown that she was a tyrant before losing her memory. The NPCs ask us, “Does she deserve redemption?” And no matter what, the NPCs will yell, “No, absolutely not!” Funny. She doesn’t deserve it, but Sunday does?)

The idea that he isn’t to blame is also questionable. He and Robin grew up under the same person’s wing. Robin was constantly told her perspective was wrong, yet did she grow up as a submissive follower? No, she grew into a truly strong person capable of thinking for herself. But Sunday? He basked in the praise for his bad decisions. He’s just an overgrown brat who decided the world is his playground.

So no, I will never believe in his redemption. I will never believe he’s changed. HoYoverse can’t convince me that he’s repented or truly regrets his sins, because as long as he’s free and has done nothing for society, it’s all meaningless.

He will never have a place on my Express. The Express will never be his home. He will never stand among the people who’ve become my family.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Top 3 Are HEATING UP

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Honestly, 3 are neck & necking for top position! They are all so good in different ways. But The Sign had me hooting with laughter this week, so it scooped #1.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, paranormal, fated mates, mystery, suspense, slasher, and horror. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m ON this ride. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a haunted house? Is it a twirl & hurl? Is there candy floss? Am I even tall enough? Who tf cares. All through the second scene, I was laughing. It was legit funny. Billy has great comedic timing. Guess he’s not just a pretty face.

Everyone should be watching this. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 -  Yech. August may be one of GMMTV’s least likable characters ever (and that is saying something). Meanwhile, MOAR language play! They spoiling me!

Mhok letting Day go then walking away at the party hurt so bad.

Argh this show is great!

Ep 6 so that kiss was right on schedule. I’m looking forward to the boyfriend eps before doom & pain in the new year. Carry on GMMTV. 

Speaking of...

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they’re great. It’s great. It’s paced oddly, moving quickly through most of the key scenes of the original JBL in these first 2 eps. I think it’s intending to encompass more of the manga series than that one did. Which is good, cause that will get us all the way to The Library Kiss (TM). It's the best kiss in the manga. I also like the sides in this show (better than the JBL version). 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8fin - What a lovely slightly unhinged little show. Tew, can we talk? Un-ironic suspenders, that takes courage. Also, the revolver was a crazy gun choice. 

Final thoughts:

This show is just as ridiculous as its title. About a gaymer who falls in love with one of his in-game teammates, who just happens to be a IRL gangster. A real gangster, the kind that actually kills people regularly. The lead pair is doing their best with a ridiculous story and shoddy script, but I enjoyed it. Although I was grateful it wasn’t very long, what we got was oddly satisfying if, frankly, a little bit silly. Recommended. 8/10 

That said, what's important about this BL is not the show, but the production and style. Let me explain... no, too much, let me sum up.

This is a chimera BL. Regarding characters: it has Japan's style otaku + Korea's style gangster + Thailand's style friendship group. It used Thai talent + Korean money (Kakao) & IP (adapted from a manwha) but aired on a Chinese channel globally (iQIYI). I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production and truly doubt that any other genre but BL could ever produce like this. It's like diplomat's BL and it's the great wonder of our age that it happened at all. This BL deserves its place in the history books on production alone, even if that place is only in the footnotes. A remarkable little monster.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - The sides are… messy. Using the same actor for the old bf is… odd. But in the end, this show leaves me smiling. Which means, I like it despite myself. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - It's decent. It’s basically what I wanted Antique Bakery to be when I first watched that way back when (not to mention Bite Me). But there’s been so much BL since then that, for some reason, this is falling flat. I think it’s moving too fast for a Thai series. Although, say what you like, Ohm has to be one of the best soft kissers in the industry. He's just good at mouth tenderness.

Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But you know what I mean.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 7 of 10 - I love how First is so upset when Sprite starts chatting and being nice to Koh. Sprite is just a sweet easy-going likable boy. I enjoy Sprite as a main character, he’s a bubbly little communicator. And they had a cute kiss.  

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - Because there was more Alan and Jeff and they were more key to the plot I was more into this ep. I do compare it to green smoothie down the pants in the Trash Watch.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 3 of 12 - Look OffGun are truly great. But I’m just not sure we need them in BL anymore. That said, it’s nice to see Off as "the one with the crush" for a change. Also, this show is only good when OffGun are on screen together, otherwise it kinda, well, sucks.

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 1 of 6 - Cafe setting featuring a cook and a writer. *Seems awfully familiar.* Except these two are exes and this is a reunion romance. It’s stiff and very pulp but not bad (no crap sound effects) and I am a sucker for a reunion romance. That said, Rookie Thailand is not to be trusted, proceed with caution.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 12fin - I'm grateful this is over. It was tense but for the wrong reasons - sadness and confusion. This final episode was fine, but that’s because it was mostly them being together + flashbacks. Plus all the familiar actor faces of the grown-up friends (hi, Karn my lovely, still stunning I see). But 2 of 12 episodes is not enough for the 10 of suffering and confusion that came before.

In conclusion:

A man is killed on his 10th anniversary resulting in a time paradox, for which the only solution is him never meeting his childhood sweetheart until later in life. Both lovers cycle back to the past at different ages, so that they each become their own 1st & 2nd great loves, but every time it ends in pain, until each also endures 10 years of separation. Finally it gets fixed, but leaves them with multiple memories of time's failures like temporal PTSD, and everyone around them has chronic deja vu. Me? I got both. This is one of those BLs that is high-quality with great acting but poor story. If you like your BL dwelling, maudlin, and tense due to angst and suffering, then you might enjoy this. But I just regret it, 6/10. Recommended only if you like confusing time travel emo pain.

In which case, just watch Tokyo in April is... instead. Give over Thailand, Japan does it better.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 6 of 8 - While our main couple isn’t working for me... the side couple isn’t working for me either. I really wanted to give LeoTai a chance, this is the 3rd show I’ve seen them in, and still nope. I like Jade a lot more when he’s sad. He’s a much more pleasant screen experience depressed. I would like him to stay hurt for a couple of eps, just so I can enjoy this show a tiny bit more. But then he just goes unhinged again. Argh. I just don’t like it. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 17 of 24 - Codependent boyfriends in middle school planning for high school dealing with stuff. Including other boys being into them. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 5 of 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. DNF 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - It’s cute but I don’t think BL in this short format is Taiwan’s strength these days. And this is quite slow and dull. Perhaps they should have whacked it down to 6 eps, not 10.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - This is one of those JBLs that I should like on paper but is failing me. The drag bit was ridiculous but handled gently. The kiss was… well… something wasn’t it? It’s all very odd. I like the photographer cutie character. 

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until after it completes its run next week.

Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) in theaters in country only, I know nothing about distribution.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) this is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Next Week Looks Like This

Still coming:

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

He so pretty.

I forgot how likable TayNew are, and frankly I think New is a better version of this role for me, personally. I like him a lot. He's a conscientious sweetheart. And a good egg. (Cherry Magic)

Ah the rooftop my old friend. (Last Twilight)

I would like to point out that it's no accident the naga's sex dream happened in the shower, he's a water creature after all. (The Sign)

(Last week)

[theandersenjournals]

I love you vinnnnneeee....... vinnnyyyyy of everymanhybrid youre awesome.

vinnie fucking awesome. i like him alot. im obsessed with characters trapping themselves in their own tragedy, until it gets pried from their own hands. okay so the thing about vinny is that he's the most outgoing of the three in a more traditioal sense, as in it's him who runs the channel, the main face, hes our protagonist, really, not the MAIN character but the guy we wanna see, and the other two acknolwedge this in the fitness arc like earrlly on. he's a character that deteriorates, he starts strong, the leader, "jeff we have to keep filming or this prankster wins", hes positive and bright and comes up with their ideas

and then "jokes over" hits and we are sent spiralling into the unknown. jeff i love you. the where-is-jessa arc also introduces damsel/steph, i love you , jeff i love you guy who responds poorly to tragedy. but anyways vinnie is like, oh damn, okay, well this fucking blows. and he keeps filming. because thats what vinny does.

cue the long running middle arcs of the series, alex miseries, HABIT, onwards, outside help, you know the drill. and we finally start seeing the slow, cheese-grating has started making a dent on good ol vinn. now, listen, hes a guy who makes a decision and fucking trucks on that path no matter what, so despite it all, despite the hesitation, the misery, he keeps going!!

this is his cycle. he is the voyeur. he will watch. he will drown in the misery of his fate. and its him that dooms them. That's how it's always been! through every iteration! Patrick confirms this in tower on the lake, through Dr. James Corenthal, vinny suffered this fate, The Voyeur will always suffer this fate.

Vinny keeps going. he puts up cameras. he keeps filming. he pressures others into his train-car-off-the-bridge and hes suffocating but he'll see it through. and he's burning out. HABIT ensures this, through the entrapment era, his growing strength being Vinny's doom, until he's less and less of himself, more and more of a pawn, easier to manipulate, easier to hurt. And then. [Three's company.] Vinny drugs, complies. they kill shaun. and Vinny wakes up. The straw, really, not Shaun himself, but the circumstance- Vinnie realizes hes been complicit for far too long.

Vinny: I can`t get used to killing innocent people for no reason. HABIT: Well that's the only way were gonna win! [chuckling under breath] Vinny: Then I don't want to win. HABIT: What? Vinny: I don't want another person to die because of me so I can live. I rather die myself.

good, strong vinny starts to give up. and this begins the worst part. [blue room]. the psychological torture. Vinny is locked in Jeff's room. the gun. you know how it goes guys. and then [christmas]

Vince: Not good. And it's not even because, y'know, I feel bad or I'm scared. I'm not good because I don't feel anything. It's just -- what am I doing? Why am I doing this?

why am i doing this?

Guys, why do we keep filming? they say it in every series. why are we still filming? micheal says we're spreading the virus. Stan says the same. They all say but we can't stop. and it's funny; because; when that camera goes off, alot of them are saved. So many people don't have to die; they just have to stop filming. But Vinn doesnt. He cant. why? why even at his lowest, why does he still edit? film?

Vince: Who knows how many people have died. I've been in control of myself this whole time. I've been in control. I'm still pushing forward. I don't think you're a monster. He's using you, but you're not a monster. I feel like I'm becoming a monster.

instead of stopping filming, he asks us, to stop Watching. and THAT is who vinny is. blame is SHIFTING. theres always a reason. this is HABITs fault, slendermans fault, it the audiences fault, because vinny is afraid of what it means when they arent. "I promise I'm a good person." "I'm starting to feel like a monster." (the finale's rage shifting between evan and vinny on whos worse, who did what.) HABIT knows this. sees this. gives him leeway. youre the guardian. youre good. and hes not. hes not because hes the voyuer, and this is a cycle he can't end, because vinny does Not KNOW when to stop.

evan goes on, this is the FINALE, the beautiful last moment, so we see everythign again. its all recontextualized; what Vinny did, how many he's fed to the Rake, to Slenderman, to HABIT. How long he's been pointing his camera at victims, this puts a whole new spin on everything. and we see it. we see how heavy Vinn's hand has been in his own downfall.

Evan: [chortles] I can forgive you...but I gotta kill you first, okay? At least, through all this shit... Evan: ...I'll kill at least one fucking monster before I go!

and this has to end, and Vinn does what he alwasy does, desperate to protect himself, desperate to protect his own mind and heart;

Vince: I'm the monster? Do you know what you did to me, for years—what you did to our friends? Your own child?

vinn runs from blame , because thats his only defense, and. Then. it breaks. It only breaks- at the end. they killed all their monsters. Sort of.

Vince: Fuck, Evan. Damn it. Vince: I don't know if we're monsters… or just a couple of unlucky bastards. [He closes his eyes.] Vince: I'm sorry…

and this is how it all ends. this is the end of our iteration. vin, side by side with his best friend, blinks away tears, covered in his own blood and the blood of the person he can never leave, and this is the end. and he accepts it. we. we did this.

Just a couple of unlucky bastards. victims of monsters and cycles we could never even begin to understand.

vinny puts the camera down. his happy ending hinged on it. its very human, isnt it?

does ANYONE THINK ABOUT THAT FUCKING CAMERAAAAAA

[kandadze]

Ep 27 loose thoughts

Well, that's one way of snapping someone shell-shocked out of making a drastic decision. I feel like PSJ snapped something in herself at this moment, too. Anyone else found the ancestor's commentary going on in the background while the girls are bawling their eyes out hilarious? Just me? Okay.

While I was waiting for the ever burning wood to activate or something, the moment WX opened the box to reveal dried flowers I choked. ZYC!!!

Baby!Yichen breaks my heart, so impressionable, so open to learn. It's interesting to see that the phrases about suffering we've seen him use as an adult might have come from WX... Not a fan of telling people in mourning to stop dwelling in misery and sadness like it's as simple as flipping a switch (not to mention, she apparently *just* met him for the first time? The heck?), but at least the rest of her words seem to have helped him... so much that he kept the flowers 😭 The irony of her snow metaphor contrasted with their current predicament is indeed exquisite, A+ for that.

Are they going to be saved by the power of lurrrrve??? (At least this time. Still holding out for how that's gonna play out in the finale.) I mean, what other way to sway an ancient creature who's seen pretty much everything there is to see, than to show them something new? What's that? A test for a future event? (I'm getting really paranoid about nothing we've seen so far being real. It's like Alice in Wonderland on a bigger scale. Or Finnegans Wake on a smaller scale. I don't know.)

Oooh Bingyi and Ying Long, our original doomed couple (of self-sacrificial idiots)! I would watch a whole drama just about them. And damn, I can definitely see where Zhao Yuanzhou got his masochism from. Stoppppp not "Just let me be the first star"! (Especially since I just remembered ZYZ's "I'll be the rain...") It's not supposed to be literal! 😭😭😭 Ahhhh this scene just broke me, also because it seems to reinforce the idea that ZYZ *has* to be killed for the greater good. The visualssss in the execution- sacrifice? What the heck do I even call it?- scene though, soooo good!

"Let me do it myself." LET ME DO IT MYSELF??? FUCKKKKKKK DAMNIT HE JUST- ::head in hands, crying forever::

"Remember. This is my choice, not yours. You don't have to bear any blame or guilt." That's not how that works. That's not how any of that works!

Again, we're dealing with choices. But the fact that ZYZ choice was the same as Ying Long's... the fact that YL says that neither he nor Bingyi had any regrets... oh this is going to hurt.

Oh? ZYZ's future is not what he wants? (And wouldn't that be funny, considering ZYZ's own words while schooling ZYC in the very first ep... 9 times out of 10, things don't go our way?)

"You two are really like us." 😭😭😭

I was wondering if they were going to show us what ZYC saw, and not only does the image of ZYZ's body on that dark floor mirror Ying Long's body floating in the water, both ZYZ and ZYC wear the same clothes as in the very few scenes from the trailer that didn't happen yet... These poor sods, they've been Going Through It for almost a decade now with the only end in sight being yet another tragedy (even if the drama seems to suggest that they don't see it that way at this point.) ::head in hands, crying continues::

"My friend is here. We'll go together." The *sound* I made. Everything else this drama has given me aside, the growth of these characters and their bonds is so well done, and absolutely precious to me.

I want Ying Long's hopes and wishes for them to become true. Seeing how there's hints everywhere in this drama, I hope the words of one of the most powerful beings in existence will count for *something* in the end! (Am I grasping at straws? Maybe. Let me be delusional for a bit longer.)

What do you mean, five, ZYC? What's Ying Lei, chopped liver?

Oof this *almost* hug before WX starts feebly hitting ZYZ. It's relief, it's anger, it's fear for the next time, it's all the feelings that became too big to contain. I feel her so much. (I would've started whacking both him and ZYC way earlier tbh 😅) And ZYZ allowing her that release before pulling her in for reassurance, patting her as if she was a scared child. 😭 Cut to PSJ, looking as if she wanted nothing more but to be the one offering the reassurance to WX. Cut to ZYC, remembering that willingly or not, he's going to hurt WX beyond reassurance. Once again, the bonds in this drama!

Wait hold up hold on what? You just removed Bingyi's blood from him, that should mean that ZYC will not have to become a demon, right? So what's that about developing the inner core? (Also, I just realized that so far all they got from this trip was "go east and ask for a dragon scale" lol) Thankfully him and ZYZ had their conversation(s) about titles and identities so being asked to make that particular choice was not completely out of left field at this point. And all he cares about is whether that means that the last trace of Ying Long will disappear! 😭 (I'm so with Bingyi on this one... I would hold onto that last shred of my friend's existence, too, *especially* if they offed themself via my goddamn sword.)

What's with that look after he says that he thinks he has it - the inner core - is there a joke here somewhere? (I *gotta* go back to learning the language, the things I'm undoubtedly missing on!) The only thing I can think of is - did they think he said he's pregnant??? ::dies:: "So what's your true form?" "Must be dragon." "I say you're a mule." "Better than being a monkey." "I'm a white ape!" ::dies again:: Nice to see we still get a friendly ribbing between all of them, and I can breathe after all the angst. Fingers crossed? There's still 5 minutes left...

Oh good, let's talk about getting Bai Jiu back! (I knew there was one more character from the opening credits that didn't show up yet... guess it's the rebel princess.) While Ao Yin is eavesdropping! Talk about good hearing. Sigh, here it comes, another goal they have that will conflict with Li Lun's; they want the scale to restore the sword, and LL not only doesn't want that to happen, the scale could potentially help him get rid of the poison.

Oh for fuck's sake, I think I was subconsciously waiting for Chongwu Camp to show up, knowing that they've eavesdropped on the gang earlier, and here they are. ZYZ should really think of putting up some sound barrier when they discuss important plans, everyone seems to know exactly what they'll be doing at any given moment!

Ahhhh we're getting a nod to that little cough and stumble WX had shortly before this trip. Something's wrong with Baize token? Or with her connection to it? We only have 7 episodes left, drama!

(ZYC is such a good little brother.) Oh great, it was the rebel princess who killed WX's dad? I repeat, we only have 7 episodes left!

Sigh... with only 7 episodes left, we *also* find out that the goddamn 3-face-mask has history with the princess? And has everyone and their mother sat on that little bridge???

This feels like the endless final scenes in Peter Jackson's "Return of the King," my head is spinning.

Note to self, *stop* looking at previews. Ying Lei, what the absolute fuck?

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Review

firstly, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in and encouraged me in doing these liveblogs! this has been such a fun project to work on, and reading these books for the past nine months or so has been a bright spot in what has otherwise been a relatively tough period of my life. i’ve really enjoyed getting to theorise about all of the lore of these books and make horribly ill-advised emotional attachments to inevitably doomed characters

more fun statistics that no one asked for: this liveblog was the longest, at about 20,000 (!!) words. my GtN liveblog was 12000 words for comparison. i have no excuse other than i like to talk

NtN definitely was an interesting diversion from the other two books so far. it wasn’t exactly a breather, since it was still incredibly heartbreaking and horrifying, but it was fun to see a part of the worldbuilding very different from what we’ve seen before. as much as I missed both Harrow and Gideon, i liked that it gave other characters time to shine outside of interacting with them. it was fun to see more of Palamedes, Camilla, and Pyrrha, and how those characters act in a vastly different environment to the Nine Houses

although NtN was essentially telling two different narratives, John chapters vs Nona’s, it still didn’t feel particularly disjointed - i think it was thematically held together by being a bit more grounded than the other books so far, sci-fi and fantasy elements notwithstanding (contemporary issues like climate change and nuclear war, & John’s world being a setting far closer to our own vs Nona’s domestic life & very real problems of living in a warzone)

i also loved getting John’s perspective in the chapters narrated by Harrow, his point of view and recollections were equal parts funny, terrifying, and fascinating. he’s certainly got a … unique perspective on the world. it was just a slow horrifying journey trying to figure out how the world ended, knowing that it was doomed but not exactly how it happened

Muir really has a talent for endearing you to a protagonist, and Nona was no exception, I absolutely loved her, and just, her whole story and how tragic it was physically hurt me. i also wasn’t expecting to get as attached as i was to Hot Sauce and the school gang - i hope we get just even just a mention of what happens to them in AtN

tldr: 11/10. reading this series is like the emotional equivalent of voluntarily getting stabbed in the heart repeatedly. i have absolutely no clue what I’m going to do with my life now that this is over for the meantime, other than go crazy in a locked room with a red string conspiracy board trying to figure out whats going to happen in Alecto the Ninth

speaking of, obviously its not a pressing issue since to my knowledge there isn’t even a release date yet, but i’m not sure if i’ll do a liveblog for Alecto when it comes out? on one hand the most fun bit about liveblogging has been the reaction from everyone who’s already read the books and we’ll all be in the same boat of not knowing what’s going on when Alecto comes out, so i don’t know how much of a point there is? on the other i would very much enjoy doing it anyway, and i’m a perfectionist so it would be nice to have completed all of the books like that. so i guess it depends on how impatient i am to read the whole book when it comes out lol

[oldfaneworld]

I would like to prefix all of this with saying that I don't know how hard it is to be a professional writer of any kind, or have any understanding on how things work behind closed door and what's cut and what's not. But i would like to thank all the writers and artists that gave us the Sonic idw comics because i really love it!

After getting my hands on Sonic issue 74 when I was at lunch yesterday and reading it once I got home I loved 90% of it. I do have a few issues with 74. The first problem I had with it was near the end of 73 for the Diamond Cutters’ part we were left on a cliffhanger with Tangle falling to her “doom” and there's just not a real resolution to that. We just time skip to all the important characters on one of the translucent tracks almost as if the fight didn't happen. Tangle is fine, we don't know how she gets saved or if someone saved her or if she just woke up mid fall and got her bearings under her. We just don't know and that feels like a broken promise to the readers. 

My biggest problem I have with 74 is that near the end of the Diamond Cutter’s part in 73 in the middle of the fight Lanolin is told by Tangle that Sonic is the Phantom Rider and she sees this with everyone else in the crowd. So why are we retreading this as if she doesn't already know or seen it herself? I know we need an excuse for Mimic but everything he says could have just been inferred by Lanolin if we were allowed in her head. 

Why not take out most of the scenes with Mimic talking and give us more scenes to show how hurt Lanolin is as she rides after Sonic and up to the falling ship without saying a word to the others or Whisper reacting to just how betrayed Lanolin looks. Knowing very well that betrayal and going behind someone's back is the very cause of the original Diamond Cutters death.

I see what they were going for but I just feel like it misses the mark a little bit or just doesn't have enough room to breath. 

I just wanna add this, I love the second page, the focus on the Diamond Cutters, especially the panel of the Diamond Cutters racing behind Sonic with the city in the background. 

I know many people dislike Lanolin and say that this arc is designed to make her look bad, I honestly just don't see it. At the beginning of the arc in 69 i can see why people don't like her, she’s a bitch, i however find that funny though. Though heading forward after that I just don't see it, in 70 she’s just reacting to the Phantom Rider knocking someone off their board with no guarantee of someone saving them. Especially seeing as Sonic told himself that he wasn't going to save them because it would affect what he was doing. He was just lucky that the Diamond Cutters were as close as they were to save that racer. Later in 70 when Lanolin goes too far and plays a major hand in destroying a large part of the track she immediately regrets her actions. Just like with Sonic she’s lucky that the rest of her team is as close as they are and everyone is saved.

The biggest thing that I don't understand about the Lanolin hate, is when people say she doesn't change or isn’t learning from her actions. even though Heading forward from 70 we see a few things happening and change one she becomes more frustrated and reserved after her major fuck up, in 71 and in 73 when she see’s the Phantom Rider both the real one and the fake one (even though she doesn't know he’s a fake) in those respected comic issues she doesn't immediately attack, she tries talking to the riders/demand them to stop. She doesn't want to risk more lives than she already has (which tells me she’s learned) because she does that, it leaves her open to the fake to attack her and take her out of the race. While in 73 it leaves her open to being stopped by Kit. On top of all that when the Phantom Rider appears she makes sure her team surrounds him instead of trying to go 1v1 like in 70 which shows she’s changing her approach. 

A big thing that bothers me about all of this is at the end of 71 when Lanolin is in her room giving the boxing bag a one two combo. It feels like people are ignoring that Duo is even in the room and that he is the one talking shit about the other half of the Diamond Cutters. Tangle just happens to be on the other side of the doorway listening in. I know people are saying that Tangle is afraid of Lanolin and you can make that argument with how Whisper puts herself between the two (in 74) but I don't think so. I think Tangle is letting her empathy get the better of her and I don't think she knows how to really handle someone who is frustrated. (especially someone who is frustrated with themselves, at least that's my thought for Lanolin.) Tangle has shown to be a very empathetic person, she knows how to handle a person who is angry at an outside force, someone who’s crushed under their own emotions. She’s able to pull people back from dark places but someone who’s frustrated who’s not willing to speak about what's making them mad I don't think she knows how to handle that and I think that's what we're seeing. With how Tangle tiptoes around Lanolin about if she should or shouldn't tell her about Sonic seeing the state she’s in.

with how 73 and how 74 started and went for the Diamond Cutters, Lanolin doesn't look at them with any suspicion at all. (if i'm wrong please show me/send me the panels) I don't think she put any real weight on any of the words Duo said to her in 71. In the same way it seems she didn't put any weight on Silver’s or Whisper’s words about Duo because of how they targeted him at the end of the Misadventure arc.

A few things I have seen that have become brainworms for me is someone saying that what Sonic is doing is equivalent to a prank, which is wild to me. Seeing when Sonic is playing the Phantom Rider role he is unintentionally putting normal people's lives at risk. Another thing I've seen that I somewhat agree with is that I don't think that Sonic cares what the public think of him. I do however think he does care about how his friends feel and how they are affected by what he does. So I think that's why he is so nonchalant about letting Lanolin throw the book at him after everything in the ship is dealt with, seeing as he can see just how much what he did hurt her. He may have been annoyed with her in 69 but that doesn't just get rid of all the good will the two had with each other at the end of the Urban warfare arc. 

So this has been all my thoughts I've had in the past day about issue 74 and a few other things I've seen. So if you read all this thank you so much and thank you for your time. Hopefully I don't sound like a whiny little bitch.

[oliviaischillin1204]

tickletober day 16- "cackle"

word count: 980 words

i changed ideas for this prompt like 4 times before settling on this one lol. hope u like it!

Virgil was dying, and Patton was killing him.

Not because he was doing anything wrong-- Patton would never do something to hurt Virgil, and even if he did he would always apologize and try to fix things in the future. He made mistakes sometimes, but Virgil wasn't perfect. All he cared about was that his friend was trying.

So no, Patton wasn't trying to kill Virgil. But he was.

They were all downstairs, everyone having a good evening together. Logan and Roman were in the kitchen, meal planning for the week; Remus and Virgil were sitting on the floor playing a new horror game that'd come out recently; and Patton and Janus sat on the couch watching Tiktoks on Janus' phone. He was very picky about his Tiktok taste, hence why he insisted they use his phone, but Patton didn't mind-- he found most things funny anyway.

And therein lied the problem: Patton's laugh.

There were levels to Patton's laughter. He'd start with giggles, his shoulders scrunching up as his smile widened on his face. They'd get louder if he found something particularly funny: strong belly laughs as he pointed to the screen and repeated every punchline out loud (to Janus' chagrin). And when he saw something really funny, something that delighted him with how surprising it was... there was no word for it other than cackling. Shouts of laughter that burst out of his mouth, head falling on Janus' shoulder as he wheezed words out between desperate belly laughter.

It was driving Virgil crazy. Because it was adorable.

He couldn't focus on the game. All of his thoughts were stuck on Patton behind him on the couch, listening to him laugh and getting increasingly distracted. Were his cheeks getting pink? Was his nose scrunching up? When he let out another peal of laughter, did Janus feel as tempted as Virgil did to give him something else to laugh about?

And his laugh!

Virgil was doomed.

"Come on, Virgin, get on with it!" Remus' voice snapped, bringing Virgil back to reality. He narrowed his eyes and moved his character forward.

"I'm coming, chill out."

"Oh, I'm chilled, baby! You're the one who's too chicken-shit to go through the maze."

Virgil narrowed his eyes. "Bite me, I'm not scared." His character entered a doorway and the screen went black, loading the next room. In the TV's dark reflection he could see Patton sitting behind him, grin wide enough to split his face as he giggled at whatever video they were watching. Virgil couldn't help it; he leaned forward, trying to subtly watch his friend laugh without turning around.

So of course that was the perfect time for a jumpscare.

Virgil shrieked, throwing his controller to the ground and covering his face with his hands. He heard his character die on screen, he heard Remus and Janus mocking him for losing, he even heard Roman and Logan stick their heads out of the kitchen to see what on Earth all the noise was about. But of course, for Virgil, all of that faded into the background: the only thing he could focus on was Patton's screaming, squealing, adorable cackles.

"Virgihihihil! I'm so sorry-- I'm sohohorry-- are you okahahay?" he asked, desperate laughter falling out in between trying to check up on Virgil. "I'm sorry kiddo, I'm sohorry but-- that was so funny!" His giggles and guffaws made Virgil feel flustered, embarrassed by his outburst, but also ignited the competitive spirit in him.

He whipped around. "I'll show you some thing funny!"

And with that, Virgil dove in fingers first, latching onto Patton's stomach and squeezing before the other Side could blink. He heard Patton take one big gasp before his laughter exploded tenfold.

"Wahahahahait! Ahahahahaha!" He squealed, throwing his head back. Janus leaned to the side, clearly amused at Virgil's retaliation, and Remus laughed and pointed at Patton's demise. But neither of them mattered to Virgil. All he wanted was to hear Patton laugh.

"What's wrong, Pat? What's so funny now?" he taunted, moving his hands rapidly between tazing his tummy and his sides, crawling down to squeeze at his hips and thighs, or fluttering so quickly agsint his neck and chin the other Side couldn't even block him. Patton screamed again, wiggling wildly and flapping his hands around in a desperate attempt to block Virgil's access to his tickle spots, but he made no real motions to stop him.

"You-- you're-- Virgil!" he squealed. "Whyhyhyhy--!"

Virgil slowed his hands just enough to let Patton breathe. "'Cause you laughed at me!"

Patton panted. His face was now a bright pink, and his eyes sparkled with mischievous delight. "No, not you, I was-- laughing at a video!"

"Oh, really?" Janus interjected. "What was the punchline then, Patton?"

Patton could only giggle in response. He wormed his way back against the couch cushions, but Virgil kneeling on the floor in front of him easily kept him boxed in. "Um-- um-- it was--"

Remus made a loud buzzer noise. "Too slow, Patty-cakes! Janny, wanna be player 2? I think Tickle me Emo's gotta take care of a dirty liar."

"Noooooo," Patton whined. He grabbed Janus' wrist. "Janus, save mehehe!"

Janus looked down on his, face unamused but eyes clearly playful. "No, I think Virgil's correct. He'll need a lot more laughter out of you before he's done, isn't that right?"

Virgil smirked up at Patton. "That's exactly right, Jay." He drummed his fingers against Patton's tummy, making him giggle nervously. "And I've been waiting to do this all day."

Patton's eyebrows raised. "Wait, you have? What-- ahahahahaha!"

And with that, he was off again, cackling with nothing but pure joy as Virgil vibrated his fingers into his tummy over and over and over again. Yeah, he'll tell him the full story later. For now, he just wants to hear Patton's perfect laughter, all night long.

[halogalopaghost]

OKAY NOW IM GONNA TALK ABOUT SPOILERS FOR THE HELLBOY THE CROOKED MAN MOVIE

FIRST OF ALL, WHEN HB SHOT THE CROOKED MAN IN THE HEAD AND THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION OF COINS?? I LITERALLY GASPED. I WAS STIMMING SO HARD DURING THE WHOLE END SCENE WITH THE CROOKED MAN.

LIIIIITERALLY HELLBOY SAID GET FUCKED AS HE ROLLED THIS GUY DOWN MULTIPLE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS. AAAHAHAH I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD

And this movie UNDERSTOOD HELLBOY FUNDAMENTALLY. Like, with the Crooked Man giving him prophecies of doom at the end?? I literally cheered for that, that's the kind of cryptic shit my boy gets after every big bad fight. And and! When he grabbed the shovel and said "that'll work" GAWD. And when he called the Crooked Man a howdy doody fuck!! That would have admittedly had a little more punch if he hadn't already said fuck like five times but meh

but the big one!! the big one was when he heard a baby sobbing its guts out, knew that it was a trap and there was likely no baby, and went in there anyway! oh my gosh! the way they understand that he will run into a burning building to save a baby that isn't there! and the way he walks off those wounds! oh mgoysh!! Yall have no idea how fast im typing right now. Character who feels the pain of mortal injuries but cannot die by one fuck me UPPPPP. The way he just walks it off and says "it won't kill me" not "it doesnt hurt" or "this doesnt suck" just "it won't kill me" baby boy I undersTAAAAAND. AA!!

At first I wasn't really sure I was on board with the talking about his mom thing,, we don't see a lot of him discussing his mother in the comics! From what I recall he kinda finds out about his mom's story, goes "wow that's pretty fucked up" and then moves on, we don't really hear him say much of it. And with the knowledge that this is a younger Hellboy too! It's the 50s, he's only like. Fuck, he's like 20 at the MOST I think?

The way they go on with the scenes with his mother and the "I hated ME! I hated MYSELF!" and transferring that hate to her...Mignola has been known to use moments like this (the ability to retcon an earlier decision he made when he didn't know what the consequences of it wouold be for the larger canon) to reframe or restate a point he made when he was establishing Hellboy's larger story early on. That's very much what this felt like to me, this felt like it came from Mignola's hand to say "hey, wouldn't it just be a little fucked up if this is how he felt?" and yeah. he's right. The way it gets hellboy to put his gun to his own chin. yeah. he's right. And we know that wouldn't have killed him but that's not the point, is it? It's the knowledge that he's really internalized that much about his being a monster and that the crooked man would have gotten one over on him. It was the mindgames, that was the point. When he grabs the kid after and ruffles his hair like,, yeah you're real alright. God. Way to remind me that this very fucked up looking indestructible guy is so very soft and human inside.

also when he ate the fucking cigarette butt that was so funny. that was so fucking hilarious can we PLEASE acknowledge that. I'm incorporating Hellboy "eats cigarette butts so the pigeons dont have to" Bruttenholm into my worldview posthaste.

I honestly even really liked the character of Bobbie Joe!! I started to roll my eyes a little bit when they hinted at a romance plotline and fully was dreading the cringy "now we have to kiss" scene at the end, but it happily never came!!!! It was left sort-of-ambiguous in a really kinda sweet way. And again, when we remember that this is a 20 year old hellboy, it comes across differently. This is a kid with a crush essentially and it's so well handled. She seems like an amalgamation of several BPRD characters and again, is very well done. I love how several times she goes "this isn't real/this isnt how this works/this isn't happening" and the people around her who are more willing to believe in the paranormal just go no,,pretty sure it's happening. (That's not binding!! ehh, it's pretty binding?? I laughed so hard please)

Anyway I'm gonna be insane about this forever and ever <3

[the-rat-woman]

thoughts about saw (2004)

8.5/10

i rly rly liked this movie! honestly before this i hadnt really seen any horror movies at all. not a big fan of being scared honestly,, but this one was so great! its great for me because even thouhg its a horror film its not really a “scary film”, like it wasnt meant to make me feel scared rather than focusing on the characters being scared. thats what i think anyway. it was super morbidly fascinating (my fav kind of fascinating!!). i dont rly like specifically live action bloody violence n stuff (im fine with the illustrated/animated kind) but this film i think had a great balance of it. most of the nastiest stuff like the sawing scene and the shotgun trap was offscreen which i appreciate. i thought the guts in the reverse beartrap scene looked pretty funny though. that scene though was so ffgsgshdhsgsgahe. u know what i mean. hurts my face just to think about it. wait was that girl the amanda character i’ve heard about or is that a different amanda. anyway. the characters were great too! not the biggest fan of larry he cheated on his wife boo thats bad but i still felt emotions over him. adam i dont even know why he was in there. but i felt so bad over him. during that scene at the end where he was pulling at larry and sobbing and crying and begging him “dont leave me here” i did cry. those police officers too i was sad when he went to the one that got his throat cut and held him for a moment. when he went away to catch the guy i was thinking “nooo hes bleeding out dont leave him what if he dies alone” he survived anyway but still that was sad for a moment. the ending too i loved the twist! i wasnt paying full attention so i did have to google an explanation but once i understood it i was like woah! thats so cool and clever and i love this movie!!!! yay!!!!! the Torment Mechanism!!!!!!! lets break all our bones!!!!!!!!!! nobody is gonna wanna read this ugly ass text wall of a post but eh. gotta get it out of my skull or else itll be rattling around in there all night

tldr middle aged men doomed yuri (or however old they are) and blood violence death hurray!!!

[alexsiple]

dude when i tell you i read your essay crying and throwing up with little exaggeration. there gets to be a point of gon freecss standom where thinking about him becomes physically nauseating despite him ostensibly just being a green little anime boy. but it's actually worse and far far more serious than that. gon is ultimately a doomed child prodigy precisely because doom always befalls a child prodigy. because one always grows out of either the latter or the former but it nonetheless spells tragedy on whatever concept of self the child's managed to build up beforehand. the fact that either way there is a monstrousness left behind because there's nothing normal (human) expected to be done with a child like that. because hunters, all hunters, are defined by prioritizing their wants/desires over other people and priorities in their lives. gon is an especially self-destructive example, pushing himself to monstrous extremes because he's the only freecss hunter with a pre-established model to follow and wants to be what ging expects of him. so ging does whatever he wants and gon tries his best to measure up. gon is a naturalistic character in that he behaves as comes most comfortably to himself but even that is cajoled and coerced.

i feel like a lot of my life has been lived being the killua inverse to everything you said with all the applicable hangups that entails. i am also 24 years old and i also understand the worldview expected of me will be something i reject and will knowingly hurt the people who molded me. but such is life.

kite hurts gon in chapter one, reminding him he is a powerless child and his death years later confirms his initial assessment and causes gon so much grief, he upends himself trying to rectify it. and even that doesn't work to undo the "damage" of being an ill-equipped child thrust into something beyond his capabilities. and it costs him everything so dearly. and i think about gon’s conversation with kurapika on the airship after the fourth phase of the 287th hunter exam where he feels so utterly defeated by hisoka and weeps to an audience of one about how lost and angry and bitter and distant he feels right before he's declared a hunter and such emotions are all for "naught" and he gets his license despite how little he thinks he deserves it.

there are certain expectations of what i am supposed to be from childhood and i've willfully evaded a lot of them to my credit, i'm sure you did the same though for your own reasons

all this to say i think i get you (as much as a stranger really can) and that i'm glad you wrote this piece. i don't identify with the leaving and certainly not with the charisma but instead with the talent and subsequent stuckness. ging freecss is a funny little bastard but it's its own fun imagining being the kind of person who can up and disappear and be applauded and missed regardless. if arriving is understanding, i reach it all to often for the wrong kinds of people and i'm learning to crave absolute destinations less. for a very long time, i wanted to burn up in a big fire to become the most important person on earth. i'm rethinking this wish more and more. here's to being and potentially growing past being a 12 year old anime boy 🥳🥳

i'm kissing you on the knuckles anon... thank you for reading the essay with such care and equally giving that to such a wonderful message. i think i get you as well. i'm glad we can connect in such a way through this shonen story, lol. "gon is ultimately a doomed child prodigy precisely because doom always befalls a child prodigy" is crazy (/pos). yeah. would just send you back your entire message in quote form but i won't do that- instead know that i agree with your takes very intensely. i think about that airship moment with kurapika a lot! gon's conversations about hisoka with kurapika specifically are so jarring and complex. it's such a turning point for his character.

i find it super interesting that you feel you're the killua inverse of all that. i do think that killua and gon have a lot of their traits mixed up in each other but also develop perpendicularly; feels bad to be either one, though, so i'm sorry for any wounds you have incurred over the years. killua's a study in trauma, too, huh! and being a child and growing old is difficult, who knew, lmao, but he's also a study in love, so there's that, too. thank you for appreciating this piece, as i appreciate you reading it! yes, that arrival to understanding can be given to the wrong people for sure, i know exactly what you mean... as we learn to make mistakes, we learn from those mistakes, too, i suppose... and yeah, being a big fire isn't all it's cracked up to be! i know that we'll become kinder to ourselves. i think growing out of being a 12 year old anime boy is just as inevitable as the other stuff, ha... even hxh agrees with this, i think. i'm sending you love :')