#what were you doing in the freak tag ..
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Can't fucking stand Black Butler antis, YES my favorite scene was the fucking asthma scene bitch AND???? I'M WEIRD? WHY DID YOU WATCH AN ANIME WITH CLEARLY SUGGESTIVE SCENES LIKE THAT HUH???
SPEAK UP.
#talking as if we didn't all know what the undertones were with the corset scene#if you hate that shit so much rhis isn't YOUR space#it's OURS#I remember the fanart. bitch i remember the sebaciel MEMES I'd scroll through on Pinterest#with comments laughing about how funny or adding on to it#i remember the youtube compilations and the bitches all swooning at the sebaciel scenes#and now youre going to sit there#and look at me like I'M the freak for still being like this. mother. fucking. bitch eHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE THEN?????#why are you WATCHING why are you READING without SOME DEGREE OF *TOLERANCE* FOR SEBACIEL#I'm sorry. it's not like I've been even too involved in Kuroshitsuji in recent years just#it feels like.. entitlement to me? it rubs me the wrong way#proship#proship rant#sebaciel#pro ship#pro fiction#do i tag this as shotacon?#proshippers please interact
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and I love you so much, I’m going to let you kill me
~
A little edit in honour of me destroying the relationship between these two in my fic
#like i’ve said before on this blog i don’t ship rapple#but their weird toxic codependent friendship has enraptured me from the get go#they never match each others freak but that’s the point and it’s wonderful#ever after high#eah#rapple#< tagging cause this technically is a rapple edit and i love their shippers regardless of my personal beliefs#raven queen#apple white#eah edit#idk something about relationships so fundamental to the narrative that the story would fall apart without them#something something these two never once agreeing and that being their downfall but also what ties them together#and you have to wonder if their mothers felt something similar when they were young#if raven could have ended like her mother if she had gone through with signing the book the first time and the story would play out#in a loop forever#but she broke the cycle and might have actually saved her friendship w apple by doing so#idk i think abt it a lot#writing these two has been… an experience
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relationship web of the 7 sillies that are occupying my brain's storage space
#not art#going to elaborate further about this in the tags click show more tags if you want to get blasted with hcs#clocking into my shift for the making shit up factory ❤️🏃♀️➡️#lynn doesn't HATE hate pepper but i honestly think she's terrified of her😭 basically hyper extrovert vs anxiety-ridden introvert#pepper has tried to help lynn a few times but her sheer energy + inability to stop talking has definitely scared lynn off unintentionally#on mutliple occasions 😭 lynn gets over it eventually but for now she dodges pepper as much as possible within the bureau#i feel like pepper would be on good terms with the garden because . aside from tending to the crops she's growing she takes care of the#(literal) flowers in the bureau's (literal) garden. she's less hyperactive when she's doing that but outside of the garden thistle lowkey#finds her annoying 😭 hecate is chill with her she's dealt with worse (hella and EMP)#it's canon that thistle has helped lynn decorate her helmet iirc so i feel like the two of them would be on good terms#i don't think hecate would hold that much of a grudge in canon but it'd be kind of funny if she did so 😭🏃♀️➡️ sorry thistle#do i even have to explain what happened between eve and pepper 😭 girl the second pepper sees eve she's freaking out#it would be funny if eve and letta were friends imo. letta's all ':D' while eve is dead silent and pepper is resisting the urge to bolt awa#i realize christina has literally no connections to the other characters cited here outside of thistle (and letta as a personal hc)#but just know that she's also really close with the other garden members (who at this point are her 2nd? 3rd? family)
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putting the horror couples who didn't survive together in the coffee shop au so they can be happy and safe
#not like literally but god sometimes i'm like what if they all survived and they were happy together#like i was thinking about from beyond because i've got that jeffrey combs brainrot as you do#and i was like dangit i like happy endings too much sometimes#what if crawford and katherine actually made it out and they got to be alive and in love because of course i ship them#it's conflicting because i appreciate the value of a stories not always ending with the good guys winning or whatever#i appreciate them but at the same time i'm like: but what if the horrors didn't happen and everyone lived and everything was good?#i don't care that there's enough of that already. i want THESE characters to make it too!#just something i've been thinking about#re animator#from beyond#castle freak#suitable flesh#it#the autopsy of jane doe#coffee shop au#there's more to tag i'm just tired
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When I first said I didn't like a certain transmisogyny related set of acronyms because they felt exclusionary, I got a lot of negative feedback, and some people insisted that I was being transmisogynistic or even a threat to trans women, and that I need to listen to trans women.
And I thought, okay. People are being really harsh with me right now but maybe I do need to learn more about this.
So I started paying attention to what the trans women on my dash were saying. I read the 'discourse' posts. I followed a couple of blogs that use that language to see what they were all about
On one hand, I did learn a lot about transmisogyny and intersectionality, but on the other hand I saw that the folks using these acronyms do not speak for all trans women. I saw some trans women on my dash directly calling out that terminology for the same reasons I did.
I saw people using that terminology saying exclusionary and transphobic and intersexist things about other trans people and about intersex people.
So in the end, my opinion has not changed.
I am trying to listen to trans women, but they don't always all agree. And I think I agree with the ones who don't like that language
#and i am not tagging the terms in question because i do not want to be dogpiled again#turns out trans women are not a monolith and those people don't speak for everyone! a revelation#mod post#this post is mostly for myself and my followers so disabling reblogs#but feel free to drop me an ask if you want to have a civil convo about stuff#i may not like certain acronyms but i do still want to learn from and support my fellow queers however possible#i also think a lot of people were mad at me then because i unknowingly said things that sounded like what transmisogynists also said#that they would have connected with nastiness that i did not say or intend#but it SOUNDED like MAYBE i also said/thought those things so people freaked out#i'm not mad! i get it!#but not liking an acronym does not mean i hate a community#it just means that i'm radically inclusive about the queer community and you uh. aren't#lgbt+#oh also i have unfollowed those blogs now because aaaaaauuuugh
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.
#tw suicide mention#tw sui ideation#tw vent#Tw self harm#Tw sh#I'm just pissed as fuck#And since I'm in a bad mood I want to fucking kill someone violently#I'm trying to find some cute art on tumblr to look at and I get images of people's gaping bloody injuries#And someone talking about viscerally wanting to die#Because when I like and support and reblog mental health discussion and support#Tumblr algorithm then finds me a post tagged with like#Mental health#(Speaking of:)#tw mental health#Or depression#And yeah I get how it can be really nice to vent online and scream into the void I do it myself a ton#But if you aren't in the mental place to tag shit and do the bare minimum to be kind to others#Just save it as a draft#Come back 10 minutes later and add tws#It is genuinely so easy to not hurt people#Why the fuck would you choose to do it#What is wrong with you#Tbh this whole post is a lot more aggressive than I wanted to be but I'm really freaked out rn#And if I don't keep ranting I'm scared of what's gonna happen in general#I know I won't die and I really do believe thst I can keep myself safe for now but fuck it's hard and it would be easy if people were kind#And the worst thing is thst we are#I love people and I love how kind we are to others and I love how almost anyone is willing to be gentle with someone who needs it#So I know that this is a conscious decision to either remain ignorant to just to straight up hurt people#And that's so much worse than getting triggered#It's like I'm grieving someone who's still alive
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“i hate that there’s ‘freaks’ writing ‘freaky shit’ about [extremely freaky thing] in the freak tag” .. hm. consider that maybe this isn’t the place for you ?
#what were you doing in the freak tag ..#people who say they like horror and then proceed to bitch about it being horror .. i need you to get real#someone genuinely whining about noncon and incest etc in a horror tag be extremely serious with me right neowww#ickyspeaks
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Okay while I have absolutely no desire to write Jiuming/Jonas fanfic from Meg 2, I do want to read roughly 80- 100 fanfics about them and AO3 is somehow hitting me with a very disappointing 0.
#meg 2#meg 2: the trench#hello they are freaking coparenting meiying???#also totally unrelated but i looked over halfway through this movie and there was a petite lil frog sitting on the pillow next to me#like WHAT. HOW.#i'm glad we're both enjoying the movie little lady but you are an outside animal my friend#also when i set it back outside there was another bigger frog sitting literally RIGHT outside my door like:#heard movie night was a thing here??#anyway i'm really glad they knew who they were absolutely not allowed to kill in this movie and acted accordingly lol#also i say i have no desire but like....... how are there ZERO FICS?! i don't wanna do it guysss buuuuuuuuuut#these tags are out of hand lol i apologize#uh oh i've found the keyboard again
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Thinking about current continuity Vanessa and just getting pissed off again
Like one, LET HER REST oh my god dc you ruin her FUCKING life like an asshole only to bring her back as a villain after she finally got out oh my god-
But also like its just so bad. This is a whole other woman with her name like why are we doing this. Like first you kill her mom (JULIA NOOO) and erase her YEARS of history growing up around diana (the thing that actually made her villain turn [if you can call it that w the level of manipulation involved] interesting and fucking heartbreaking) for some shitty "oh I saved you we were friends" run of the mill whatever. Then to use that and say Nessie had a crush on her OWN SISTER (Diana, so like informally adopted, but still 😡) now????
And then they took away her curls and made her a redhead but not even the realistic kind. DC SHE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT
It just makes me so mad. Freaking guys. They could have used another name like oh my god. She's not even the first silver swan why the fuck would they do that if they're not going to explore her history w diana (which she no longer has!!!!) or how intensely fucked up everything got for her. What is even the fucking point of this then other to drag a main character of the ww supporting cast through the mud again for genuinely no reason. They could have easily had her be Valerie Beaudry (sorry Val) instead or just MADE UP ANOTHER NAME because it's obvious that no one actually cared about her as a character they just wanted the wondy villain back so like !!!!!!!!!! Why even bother
#her entire treatment just makes me so angry#like in general it makes me mad and sad and a million other emotions#but the fucking robinson version just makes me enraged. beyond pissed off. because theres no fucking reason for it its bullshit and its the#one in current continuity right now. so i get to see tom king ww panels put on my dash that have this stupid fake vanessa and its so#infuriating. like thats NOT her!!!!!!! oh my freaking god people#her hair is BROWN and CURLY and shes dianas BABY SISTER who she lived with for YEARS like she was a MAJOR supporting ww character for the#longest time. like shes got about 100 appearances (just checked) preboot this is not a minor character#so freaking frustrating#blah#ALSO. FUCKING ALSO. THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE CURRENT VANESSA TURNED EVIL BC SHE REALIZED SHE WASNT SPECIAL TO DIANA BS. FUCK YOU THERE LIKE#OH MY GODDDDD “isnt special to diana” im going to fucking kill you. what do you mean she doesnt care about her specially. thats her FUCKING#BABY SISTER. not to sound like vanessa herself a la silver swan but those clowns at dc would never say that shit about cassie oh my god#not special my FUCKING ass. nessie and her mom were literally the first people invited to themyscira in post coie continuity#like yes diana trevor and steve trevor and even baby julia kapetelis washing ashore but like the kapetelises (and you could even say just#nessie bc again her mom had been there before) were the FIRST ones invited there like you cannot say diana didnt care about them more than#the average joe dc i fucking despise you.#this girl has been through so much why is dc incapable of throwing her a bone ever. nessie i am so sorry they did that to you sweetie.#gonna tag it bc her tag deserves the traffic#vanessa kapatelis#just makes me so mad#doing all that to the normal teen girl character in a wonder woman comic is so fucked actually like dc comics i should not have to explain#that to you. what message do you think you are sending here be serious
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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
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I made some bunbys + design notes
No idea what I wanna do with them, I was just mainly having fun. They're siblings because of course they are. I might wanna try to draw them as anthros and as regular bunnies too later,, also I thought it'd be fun to name them very typical bunny names
#i like them#i want to make them suffer kind of. maybe. probably#also the curse of making sibling characters when you have a sibling for me is that they always end up just being me and my sister combined#into two weird little guys#in terms of personality and dynamic#anyways i was thinking of having angel die because#having ur older sibling you heavily rely on and admire ripped away from you has always been kind of interesting for me to explore in ocs#for no reason at all haha. totally#ANYWAYS#cinnamon's natural hair color is probably close to the brown markings on her fur. or maybe its both of her pattern colors. not sure#murl draws#murls ocs#oc#artists on tumblr#original character#art#my art#i hate tags wtf else do i put#bunny#sure whatever#dont ask me where their bunny feet begin and their human legs end. i dont know..#i gained too much knowledge abt bunny breeds whioe choosing what to make them btw#i like french lops bc they were made from breeding english lops w flemish giants apparently#and flemish giants freak me out in a fascinating sorta way#a rabbit should NOT be massive dude. what the hell. im scared
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Also, on a spooky note: From the beginning of the school year, people have been telling me they saw me driving a red car (I don’t drive a red car), and that they’ve seen me in places I haven’t gone to. Today, I overheard people talking about someone’s description, “She was about this tall and…” etc. etc. They told me I lost my tablet, and that it had my name on it. I don’t have a tablet.
Either I have a doppelgänger in the area, or something nonhuman is trying to replace me 🙃
#Everyone’s like “She looked exactly like you! Kinda small with the same haircut.” 😰😬#What the fuck#paranormal#doppelganger#evil twin#how do I even tag this#What’s your opinion: Am I going to get murdered? lmao#No genuinely this is starting to freak me out#I hope the tablet people were just scammers because I don’t need to get eaten#I swear to GOD if I see myself anywhere— hell no#I don’t make eye contact with people I’m not talking to so I’m probably safe as long as I’m awkward?
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so,
its like that
#cucumber quest#noisemaster#something something this was heavily experimental something.... i just wanted an excuse to draw his face cracks#rheyre fun to draw .#anyways nonsensical rambling . you dont have to read past this point#i think its real neat how noisemaster can be interpreted .#like more specifically in terms of his sexuality n shit#because like . personally . . .aroace trans noisemaster real#BUT ALSO i think its cool seeing early plans for what couldve been . .#i think the closest to . current canon sexuality we have is a cropped image of gg saying hes not interested in dating#but back real early in development before it was decided the disaster masters would be kinda like#a family.#he and mute were originally gonna be something closer to dating . .#its fun to think about how he was gonna be gay .#it would be kinda weird though today because they r . twins . like canonically .#i hope all noise x mute believers fall down the stairs actually . i know they exist .#ive had a lot of people talk to me about how they ship them and it mskes me very severely uncomfortable#so hey . dont do that . dee en eye . i dont want freaks on my page .#sterotypical art tag
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You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.
And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)
ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.
This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.
#i looked in a mirror 20 feet away as reference because im like NYAHAHA WHAT EVILS HAVE I COMMITED#and i see my own smug face in the mirror like 'yes this will get me hunted down'#sketches#i do comedy slapstick violence but ya know doing more darker jokes and adult humor feels nice like im not censoring myself#i mean i still am by not showing you guys a lot of the bloody or even H O RN Y stuff but ya cant expose everything#like for those of yall who have followed me for years id say were all legal here for more than my usual 13+ content#i just want ro be appealing to a broader audience IN CASE i ever did make it somewhere but haha its been what#8 years since i started this blog. any credit i had died off with teeny taku fhjdjsksajsk#ive got no image to uphold. i have nothing im trying to promote anymore. i do but ive lost the plot ya know#im just having fun and im glad you guys are just ...letting me? like i looked at my old stuff#with the cookies the pokemans the fehs the ocs. and yall just let me go freaking wild and thought#yeah ill give that a like. bless yalls hearts. bless ya souls. ive got thousands of posts on here and yall just let me run wild#and thank you for that. ya never pit pressure on me. kts me outting pressure on myself.#i do wish there were folks that did look forward to some actual tangible content instead of me shitposting with no cohesiveness#but thats just hard with adhd. and try as i might with medications and alarms and deadlines and what have you. its just. difficult#like even the tags here are derailing. but i hope that alongside me just having fun doing my thing. i hope i can get on course#where there is a clear line to follow in my life but i dont lose sight of it as i trail off#but for now. im just drawing experimenting and straight up goofing around. have fun you guys#i may not show you everything but just know im having fun too.
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and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender
#honestly I don't even know what this is about I just saw some stories on insta and it's like oh look#she is so proud to be a woman whoa ppl...actually do that huh#and I just realised I never really felt that way like. not fully!! maybe a bit of that yeah but not to this full extent of this#womanhood thing#and I mean yeah I probably felt more of it in my teens and like 20s but it only just occurred to me that it's never been to this full extent#of being womanly and motherly and nurturing etc etc#and now I do not feel like that art all I mean I mostly am a creachur. a divine being. if you will. a freak#and I love it tomorrow I'm gonna go try on some skirts which I haven't done in ages and I'm definitely gonna be doing it in a queer way#not in a girl way#anyway#I know this is really weird going on tag rants here where nobody except a few of my mutuals (hey guys love you lots thought u should know)#is gonna see let alone read this but I really don't have anyone irl to talk to abt gender stuff and I mean I tried?#but just idk. ppl don't get it? like everyone in my life already knows I'm queer and they sorta hand wave it away like that is too#complicated and not that important - and it isn't!! but it also is!#I think they might have been more understanding and sympathetic if I were trans but I'm not and being nonbinary is somehow too difficult for#them to grasp idk#and when I say I don't want to be a different gender and feel increasingly outside and to the left of my assigned gender the more I think#about it they just. do not get it. and it is kinda discouraging and leaves me feeling like not talking about it with them ever#I don't know why I'm writing all this tbh#gender#queer things
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