#what the phuck ever

[amid-fandoms]

garage twunk and golf twink coded

[this-is-snekky]

GUH??????? HUH?????? WUH?????

oh how horrible

[takethistoyourstardust]

i love a good “what the hell is patrick singing his enunciation is wack” joke as much as the next person but i’m starting to suspect people are fucking lying about not being able to understand him on smfs.

[justcallmesakira]

hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1

ty and er bye good luck take ur time!

"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''

Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!

Genre: crack, suggestive at the end

Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom

A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*

How bro-

JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯

No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not

He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother

Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came

If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)

And all you went was giggles and flirting back

Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???

(fyodor take your anemic medication first)

Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!

Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!

HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT

Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"

that was UWU in russian btw-

But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-

fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy

Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"

But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai

I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"

*insert proud brother noises*

He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai

I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33

"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*

Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-

Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that

bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian

IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--

Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-

"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"

And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^

fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\

Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!

A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-

Divider crds!: @cafekitsune

tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst

[smahell]

leviathan heacanons which, if they did become canon, would deliver us the most amazing obey me nightbringer lesson 61 ever.

ground rules, literally the basis of everything i stand for:

yes he is queer, yes he is plus size, yes he is trans (in what way is up to you, transfem, transmasc, non-binary, agender. phuck he probably uses those cool xenogenders and collects pronouns like pokemon cards /pos)

• i think he'd have autism and BPD. makes sense w/ how sporadic his emotions can be and how they can be either on the extremes or nothing at all (projecting)

• he has facial hair, but it's more gentle stubble on his upper lip and dotted around his jawline because he just forgets to shave, and he just doesn't like the texture and feel of his skin afterwards anyways.

• he likes the IDEA of beaches and beach episodes. he just doesn't like sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

• i like to think of his skin as a very slight jaundice yellow??? or just a sort of sandy shade (#d4d18c) for camouflage purposes!!! like camouflaging on stream beds and stuff since he's like a sea monster...

• vitamin d, magnesium AND iron deficiency. triple homicide.

• has multiple phones: "one's for specifically grinding, the other ones for texting everyone, this phone's for texting mc..."

• i think leviathan is the type to simultaneously believe in soulmates, but also regard to any couple he sees with vehement disgust. if he's not in a relationship he'll hate every couple he sees.. maybe he's jealous. or maybe he's being based.

• he SWEARS he's tall, it's just that his posture makes him slouch so bad that he's more mammon's height most of the time

• irrationally scared of back massages.

• probably a babiniku, which is how he gets like half of his income.

• vegetarian!! and doesn't like the taste of humans either. every time he thinks of eating one he think about "well what if i was eating *insert anime character?? they're a human right??"

• still thinks humans are kinda useless in real life but still mentally sensationalizes them as these "cool" beings that always go on adventures.

• his most finely trained sense: touch and smell. it's why he can't go into most malls and some shops; sometimes the smells of perfumes are so overwhelming that he'd rather wait outside.

• his sleep schedule is either a good 11pm to 8am or a horrible 6am to 9am. it'll waiver around depending on what's going on, whether he has cookie duty, if there's a concert of his favorite underground band coming up, whether he has to finish homework, or just general RAD events.

• piercings!! at first he just wanted more ear piercings but then it moved to nose piercings and face ones. his latest one is a dolphin bite piercing which he kinda got impulsively but he doesn't regret it at all (he likes the taste of metal in his mouth!)

• voice claim: kaido shun's voice from "the disastrous life of saiki k" (voiced by Micah Solusod)

• in a fic i read it mentioned levi liking seaweed brownies (made my mammon)??? yeah its a personal headcanon now, it floats in my head like a boat at sea..

• loves LOVES heated blankets, since he''s naturally coldblooded he'll snuggle up to anything he can get

anyways that's it :D @memeowmoth wanted me to share some of mine, and I can definitely come up with more!!!! (edit: spelling mistakes.. i didn't finish one of my sentences for some reason..)

[nonymous-nb]

•────~❉᯽❉~───────────────•

Biograft + Reader

•───────────────~❉᯽❉~────•

"I'm Getting What? — Adopted!"

PHIGHTING! | One-shot | Fluff | Platonic / Comedy-ish.

Warning/s: [he made his entrance.]

Extra: [you stealing a biograft from subspace 👍✨ + biograft's pronouns: they/it + short one-shot]

"..Where Are You Taking Me?" Biograft asked as you drag them away to who knows where. "My part of the building." You told them as you unlock the door that leads through your very own lab in Blackrock. Biograft stayed silent as they observed whatever human tendency you are doing, letting you drag them as you are an ally to it's creator, seeing no harm in doing whatever you want with them as Subspace didn't instruct them to kill you.. yet. But Biograft 'sense' some peace in you, plus the other Biografts 'likes' you too.. in biograft kind of sense. You haven't harmed them or anything so what's the issue with doing something small like this?

"And.. here!" You made Biograft sit on one of the chairs as you gave them a piece of paper on the table. "Now, I need you to sign this if you could." You told the Biograft pointing to where it needs to sign. Tilting it's head in confusion. "Isn't This Supposed To Be My Creator's Job?" They asked thinking it's one of those work papers that Subspace does. "No, this is a.. uh, paper- paper that meant we work together for future collaborations." Biograft began to process what ever the heck you meant because they think they saw the word 'trade' and 'adoption' until you covered half of the paper. Plus, aren't you and it's creator already in a collaboration? "Then It Should Be My Creator's Responsibility To Sign These."

"He's uh.. busy, you know.. with other stuffs that's already piling in his lab? Plus he said it's alright for you to sign some." You quickly came up with some bs you know that ain't true, Biograft narrowed it's eyes at you, but it seems like Biograft took it either way. "How Do You.. Sign Papers?" Oh, heck yeah you're safe. "You just write your name over here.. and sign over here!" You pointed at the same spot again, quite giddy. "Oh, also put Subspace's name over here.. and yours here." You pointed out as Biograft just nodded and did as you told them to. Haha, this Biograft is yours now—

*slAaM?!*

"What is the meaning of this?!" And speak of the devil.. the demon himself appeared. "Oh, heya Subspace." you just gave him a smile as if you done nothing. Biograft didn't care enough on what's going with the two of you and just kept writing and signing on the paper. Subspace noticed that his Biograft is.. writing something?? "Biograft, what are you writing on??" The scientist asked. Biograft stopped it's writing and it looks like it finished it. "Signing A Paper." Subspace narrowed his singular working eye at the paper. "And that paper is about??" Biograft then looked at the paper to read it while you just smiled at Subspace. "A Fully Official And Legal Trade Adoption Paper.." Biograft trailed off.

"..WHAT?!" Subspace screeched out and went fully inside in your lab to take the paper and tear it apart. "Nuh-uh" You said as you snatched the paper first and hide it in your pocket, Subspace gave you a narrowed look. "Phuck you mean 'nuh-uh'?! I created them!!" You stuck out your tongue at Subspace. "The contract has been signed, loser." You flipped him off with an innocent look, yeah Subspace didn't like that. "You— GET OVER HERE!!" He began to run at you. You quickly carried Biograft on your shoulder and ran away like how you would run away from a nextbot and juke it.. Except that nextbot is Subspace. "THEY'RE MINE NOW BIATCH"

Biograft just chilled on your shoulder, finding the current banter with you and their creator normal.

"What A Day."

{Have some small portion of food 😔}

[phightingheadcanons]

rocket has market gardened at LEAST one demon, and has rehearsed yelling "SREAMING EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!" and is always itching to do one, as to what he smacks with it could range from biting, to PHUCKING BICTH SLAPING witch ever poor demon is on the receiving end of it

.

[y01ky]

Phighting Incorrect Quotes

Hyperlaser: Are they sleeping, or dead?

Medkit: Hopefully dead, I hated them.

Coil: Yeah, me too.

Subspace, getting up: Phirst of all, phuck you guys.

---

Sword: They, well... I wouldn't call it inheritance, but, What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Slingshot: Umm, murder?

Skateboard: Adventuring!

Subspace: Tuesdays.

---

Shuriken: I will send my army to attack!

Shuriken: (Releases a dumpster of insects)

---

Hyperlaser: Our relationship is strictly professional.

Subspace, sitting on Hyperlaser's lap: Absolutely!! Only on business.

---

Scythe: Gatekeep, girlboss, what's the other one?

Medkit: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

---

Banhammer: (Picks up hammer and breaks ringing cell phones)

---

Subspace: Let's bury the hatchet, Meddy!!

Medkit: I won't be burying any hatchet unless I get a clear shot at your head.

---

Vine Staff: Anyone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?

Shuriken: They're golden retrievers, sis. They retrieve gold. I did this for ourselves.

---

Rocket: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Boombox: I burned my tongue once, drinking tea.

Slingshot: I dropped a hairdryer on my leg once, and it burned.

Sword: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Shuriken: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilt it in my hand, and I got a really bad burn.

Medkit: I have emotional scars.

---

Rocket: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is gonna piss you off.

Medkit: What? No, I-

(Subspace enters the room)

Medkit: (Jaw clenches)

---

Subspace: Tomorrow's Garbage Day!

Medkit: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

---

(Playing Chess)

Medkit: (Easily beats everyone because they know how to play)

Skateboard: (Doesn't know the rules and wins anyway)

Shuriken: (Doesn't know the rules and loses)

Slingshot: (Knows the rules and still loses to those who don't)

Coil: Actually, you can't do that because I said so.

Biograft: THEY NAMED A GAME AFTER CHEESE?

[funkycrabturtle]

fun facts about Jennifer no #3!!

man I should really do more stuff like this someday.. i forget a lot :.-P

I walked out of my science class last Wednesday after the bell rang for lunch. I went to my bag & noticed a paper in it, so then take it out.. AND WHAT DO I READ?!!

dear GOD.. IT'S A PHUCKING LOVE LETTER?!!! I HAVE NEVER PULLED BEFORE, but I can't lie, I've pulled 2 guys before.. (they were 1 out of 10s + i'm aroace anyway) & I think I'm kinda pretty?? idk I'll talk about that another time (or just interrogate me, I wouldn't mind). The paper basically read:

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U & I first... ♡

Do you know what me and the Little Mermaid have in common? We both wanna be part of your world... ♡"

"You are the love of my life. Will you meet me at the top of the stairs of the school building on 25/10/24 at recess?

YES NO

THOSE PICKUP LINES WERE SO DAMN CRINGY I WAS BAWLING MY EYES OUT SO DAMN MUCH!!!!! the worst part is, nobody even showed up, so it still remains a mystery to this day. so if I do ever find out, I'll update this post sometime. if you'd like to see the paper, I'll be more than happy to take a screenshot! ^_^

NOTE: there was neat handwriting so it was most likely a girl (& they either forgot or it was meant to be a prank idk)

moral of the story: i am never mentally recovering from this..

[kami-kun1003]

random SFOTH as vines cuz these are fun to make

~~~

Illumina: Okay, you know what?! You’re in timeout! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!!

Icedagger: This place is a PHUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!!

~~~

Darkheart: We’re all going to hell… goodbye…!

~~~

Firebrand: “Road work ahead”? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

~~~

Illumina: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Darkheart?

Darkheart: No.

Icedagger: I do!

Illumina: I know, Ice.

Icedagger: I’m sad!

Illumina: I know, Ice.

~~~

Darkheart: Hey everybody. Today our brother pushed us, so we’re starting a kickstarter to put him down…

Darkheart: The benefits of killing him would be: we would get pushed way less-

~~~

Icedagger: How do you know what’s good for me?!

Firebrand: That’s mY OPINION!!

Icedagger:

Windforce:

~~~

Venomshank, to Illumina: Alright, lets tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’ll go first.

Venomshank: I… hate you.

~~~

Icedagger: Do you have any ice?

Ghostwalker: I do not, I just have freezable fruit shapes.

Icedagger: …why?

Ghostwalker: Just because.

[phightinghottakes]

rocket has market gardened at LEAST one demon, and has rehearsed yelling "SREAMING EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!" and is always itching to do one, as to what he smacks with it could range from biting, to PHUCKING BICTH SLAPING witch ever poor demon is on the receiving end of it

I think I’m having some sort of experience reading this

[multifandomslxt]

🌸LIAR🌸

(Bsf brother! Yuta x Black Chubby reader)

Synopsis: Yuta, Y/n’s best friend's brother just came home from college to a beautiful surprise in the form of thick thighs, stomach pudge, puppy eyes, and a little bit of lies.

Warnings: Mentions of a kn*fe, smut and lies.

Word count: 1.8 k (ik I went overboard)

“Oh, Yuta’s coming tomorrow” My best friend of 6 years says to me in the most casual way possible.

I turn to look at her in shock “What?”

We were seated in a booth at our favourite diner ‘PHUCK ONMEI’.

Yup, its exactly that

We were having our weekly tea pill over some cherry cokes and cheesy fries when she just dropped this bomb.

“Lisa, I’m not fucking with you. What do you mean your brother’s coming tomorrow?”

She rolls her eyes and slams her tall class of coke on the table “My brother, Yuta Nakamoto - the man you’ve been wanting to jump your draws since first year high school - is coming tomorrow”

I slapped her hand at the rude but true comment.

I’ve had a crush on my best friend’s brother since the first day I saw him.

Lisa and I were 16 and chatting up in her living room and 16-year-old Yuta had walked out of his room shirtless with bed hair.

That was 7 years ago.

Ever since then, every time I saw him, I stared.

Back then, He confronted me many times about it.

He tilted his head and smirked

Holy fuck.

“See something you like You like Y/N”

“N-no”

“Shush bitch. At least pretend to be disgusted or something.” I stated.

You’d think someone would be upset at their best friend having a crush on their sibling but nope, not Lisa.

Matter of fact she encouraged it.

‘You lie when you’re flustered, and he lies all the fucking time. Match made in Heaven’. She would always say.

“I thought he couldn’t take time off this year” I said still trying to digest the news. Yuta had moved away to college three years ago and was currently studying to become a doctor.

More specifically a Gynaecologist.

Christ.

Lisa slurps the last of her drink and says, “That’s what he said but mom misses him and y’know when mom wants something she gets it”.

“True.” Was all I could say as my mind started to fill with thoughts of him.

I picked at my food for the rest of our little ‘gossip date’ until it was time to go.

The minute I stepped into my apartment I screamed in excitement.

“Holy shit!” I ran around my apartment smiling like an idiot.

“I’m seeing him tomorrow for the first time in three freaking years.”

As the evening went by my excitement began to be replaced by fear.

‘What If he doesn’t remember you?’

I feel like he does. He has to.

‘What if he brushes you off?’

 I mean we aren’t exactly family.

‘What if he hates what he sees?’

My skin crawled at my last thought.

Yes, my body changed over the past few years, but I wasn’t insecure about it.

My hips filled out nicely, my boobs were alright, and my ass was heavenly.

It rested on thick thighs that complimented my stomach pudge and back rolls…I was Hot.

“What’s not to like” I said out loud to no one in particular.

“Wear something sexy but cute tomorrow, mom wants you at the welcome dinner”. Was the last thing Lisa said before we parted ways.

Thank God I went shopping last week I know exactly what to wear.

://///////:::::::/::::::////////////////////TIME SKIP

“Hail Mary mother of G-” I was interrupted by a smack on the back of my head.

I rubbed my head trying to quell the pain “OW!”

“Cut that shit out. It’s just my brother not the coming of Jesus” Lisa hisses as rolls her eyes.

We were currently sitting in her living room surrounded by what Mrs. Nakamoto called ‘simple decorations’.

They were not simple.

Blue and white Balloons were all over the floor and there as a fucking 7-foot standee of Yuta at the front door.

Scared the living shit out of me when I got here.

“Mom says he’s on his way here.” Lisa says as she idly kicks a balloon.

I shrugged “Whatever.”

“What? All of a sudden, you’re not trembling in excitement anymore? That’s weird.”

I shrugged again “I wasn’t excited.”

Lisa looked me up and down and threw her head back laughing “Liar.”

//////////////////////////////TIME SKIP///////////////////////////////////////////////////

He came.

He fucking came like a storm.

He changed.

So damn much.

He walked through the door and heart fell to my ass.

Yuta Nakamoto did the fucking impossible and became hotter.

I watched as he hugged Lisa and his mother before turning to me who was standing behind Lisa.

I waited for him to say something…anything.

Instead, he did the unthinkable

“Who’s this?”

The world stopped.

Shame and embarrassment clawed at my chest.

Lisa gasped in shock and Mrs. Nakamoto swatted his arm.

“You don’t remember Y/N?”

His eyes widened to the size of saucers.

“This is Y/N?” he gestured to me in disbelief.

I smiled shyly and looked down “Yes, its me”.

I could feel his eyes on me. Taking me in.

I hope he likes what he sees.

We had dinner in comfortable conversations, revelling on past memories and Yuta’s school life.

Throughout the entire meal he didn’t even spare me a glance.

I felt dejected.

Soon it was time for dessert but Mr. Nakamoto who was supposed to be here earlier had called.

“Your father needs to be picked up from work again so I’ll have to go get him”. Mrs. Nakamoto said slowing standing from her chair.

“I’ll come with” Lisa said also standing from her chair.

“There’s cake in the kitchen” Mrs. Nakamoto says grabbing her coat and car keys, Lisa following close behind.

“Oh, I’ll cut it” I offered.

I needed to get away from him and take a damn breath.

I got up from my seat and headed to the kitchen leaving no room for Mrs. Nakamoto to object.

“Alright then, we’ll be back soon.” Mrs Nakamoto shouted out before closing the front door.

Great.

I grabbed the oven mitten and pulled the cake from the oven and setting it on the countertop.

I heard a chair scrape the ground and footsteps making their way towards the kitchen.

Soon, there was a presence beside me.

"Missed me?"

I peered up at the man I'd met a thousand times before. Before he left for Uni his hair was shorter

and he was slimmer. Now, his body was lean with muscle and his hair was so long that he gathered it

in a ponytail at the back of his head.

Nakamoto Yuta was a sight to see.

“N-no I didn’t”

Then he did that thing, the thing that almost made me loose my shit about a hundred times

He tilted his head and smirked

“Liar. I know you did”

I shake my head “You’re so full of yourself”.

 He chuckled “I know.”

I rolled my eyes and turned around reaching for a knife to cut the cake.

I could have imagined it.

I really could’ve.

But I’m pretty sure I just heard Yuta do a sharp intake.

I turned around to face him again “Are you okay?”

“You changed a lot” He ignores my question.

“yeah, I guess.” I said simply said.

He nods.

“And this dress…did you wear it for me doll?” He questions as his fingers skim across the fabric covering my breasts.

My breath hitches as I feel my nipples getting hard under the fabric “N-no I did not.”

He grips my chin causing me to look directly in his eyes.

“Liar”.

////////////////////////////////////// SMUT! NSFW SMUT! //////////////////////////////////////////

“You taste so fucking good baby” Yuta says gripping my thighs pulling them further apart as his tongue works between my legs.

We were still in the kitchen.

I was now on the countertop with Yuta between my thighs.

I could her him sucking and lapping at my juices.

His face was glistening and covered in it.

my mind was so foggy I could barely understand anything.

Suddenly my lower abdomen started to feel cramped, but I could tell something was different.

More intense.

“YUTA! WAIT!” I shout as I try to squeeze my thighs shut.

He uses his strength to keep them open. I try getting up only to be held down and pulled closer

“Don’t you fucking run from me.” He grunts.

Tears were streaming down my face “Yuta m’gonna make a mess”

“Not yet baby. Not fucking yet” he says standing up.

I whine in protest.

He pecks my lips to shut me up.

I can taste myself on his lips.

He grips my waist and helps me down form the counter

“I want you to sit on my face.” He says as I watch him lay on the kitchen floor.

“What?” I ask in disbelief. Staring down at him

He grunts and pulls me down by the hem of my dress making me fall on top of him.

“I’ll crush you” I state.

A sharp slap to my thigh causes me to screech “Sit. On. My. Face.”

I hesitate but go to hover over his face anyway.

“Y/N I said sit. Not hover” he says sternly

“But I don’t wa-” I was cut off as he grabs my hips and pulls me down immediately. His mouth latching to my pussy.

He continues licking and sucking eventually adding a finger.

“Oh fuck!” I shout as my eyes roll back at the intensity.

“Did you miss me?” He asks again.

“NO!” I shout

“Liar” he says adding another finger causing my body to jolt.

His fingers pressing into my Thighs keeps me in place as my thighs tremble and my orgasm builds.

“Yuta I’m gonna cum! I wanna cum!”

“Did you miss me? Ill let you cum if you tell me the truth doll.” He says as he places sloppy wet kisses on my clit continuing to pump his fingers in and out of me.

I shut my eyes tightly as a stray tear rolls down my cheek “YES! YES I FUCKING MISSED YOU!”

“Atta girl. Cum for me baby” he says from under me.

And I did.

I roll off to the side beside Yuta.

I was panting and so was he. Except I look like I just rana mile and he looks like he just had the best time of his life.

“I missed you too doll.”

///////////////////////////////////////END OF SMUT///////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Y/N! YUTA! We’re back!”

Lisa says as she walks in her Mr. and Mrs Nakamoto behind her.

Yuta and I already cleaned up and were watching TV.

“Hey!” I say smiling at them.

“Dad, you’re late” Yuta says mischievously causing Mr. Nakamoto to laugh heartily.

Yuta and his parent walk to the back patio to catch up leaving me and Lisa in the living room.

She takes a seat next tom me on the couch and says

“Bitch, the house smells like sex.”

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

yippie!!

ok so one day i was hangin out and thinking about how jinx and murie are both my favourite little sad wet guys in my two fave medias of all ever *And* at the same time SO far apart on the spectrum personalitywise

and it took me listening to this to flip the switch on the Autism Blender and want to just fucking mash them together like a coked up toddler making Slime out of fish guts and hayao miyazakis mothers ashes because thats what i do thats my job💅👌so theeeen it comes out pretty reminiscent of my first muriel au that also sprung up from a song i like, just- a bit to the left? like, moving along on the scale from The OG not liking violence and being involved in it whatsoever, to AU 1 where i pictured him going "yeah ok fuck it this is what i do i guess" and revengy motives to his whole thing that i now connected with him more thru the song lmao it just made me realize the vision of like. jinxies "murderingmurderinmurdering 💕fun✨" aspect + his potential desire to still do good things despite being doomed to be a machine made for destruction (ignore the fact of that desire being nonexistent in his canon form because of how he perceives himself as a thing unable to achieve performing any good ever under any circumstance) (but still refusing to actively cause harm as he isolates himself to prevent any situations arising that would lead him to do so) (ignore all that) (were yassifying him a little were allowed its fine ive already lost the plot here anyway were wildin) so a vigilanty type beat and also ~my axe is my buddy🥰 we both cry with the trees😔✊ /me & my axe will bring the devil to his knees (✿◕‿◕ )~ goes hard as phUCK

so then all that led to This new V.3 mutation where hed be actually having fun with it........ so I kinda start turning him over in my brain some more, forgetting about jink by now and at first I go Huh this is kinda. him but lucioey a lil bit. and THEN i go hm. Well this ground is awful soft n ready to dig

so with all that out of the way i can now present!: Brand New Vague Shadow of a Concept of an Idea that ill Never Do Anything with

and I really don’t know how to verbalize this very well at all mmjfdh but like. Ok bulletpoints activate

Muriel:

From a badass warrior tribe

Didn’t get booted out cuz theyre fine this time oopsie no genocide

Hes in there way chillin way awesome way good at fighting everybody loves him

Hes like. Way himboey in this one. SO jock. Smiles a lot <3 <3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Like okay if i was actually serious about writing this I think id need a fucking lucio consultant because I really know zilch about that bitch but like okay you know how lucios kinda all scary n cunty and cunning and fancy and seems like hes got shit figured out. Until he *starts talking*? Muriel here is like that but hes just really fucking scary until he starts talking BUT not like normally where hes adorable just has resting bitch face, its just like. that part of him that came thru in the reversed ending at the very end, yknow. but make it less depressing ihjhsrfbjs hes like full letterman jacket highschool bully core total kurt & ram vibe, like ok youd see him on a battlefield ABsolutely WRECKIng some fools into a pulp with his bare bear hands and immediately after that he turns around like WOOOOOOO THAT’S what im TALKIN ABOUT LETS GO GUYS WHO WANTS A BEER *cut to him chugging an entire keg over his head with da boys around losing their minds* like think college frat but they raid villages for fun and profit. Pretty orc coded. Kinda thor coded. Actually exactly thorcoded wow that really is what I was going for. I was wondering why I couldn’t help imagining him with a australian accent, I guess that’s a mystery solved. anyway

Maybe his parents got killed in some other battle im not sure how to weave around that in detail yet BUT- ok so check this I thought ill have to give him some motive to wanna reach the devil somehow for,,.,,… something right. to make him fill an antagonist role So this might be stupid a lil I just thought of this and it needs to cook for sure but what if he just rolled up into vesuvia as the magic capital or something whtver, to figure out how to get to talk to the devil, cuz he just like, really wants his parents back cuz they got valhallad in some glorious combat, and they were cool and he misses them and they could fight some more cool fights together and pillage n chill jhbsfvjgzdc beCAUsE hear me out im rolling with the swap inversions opposites motive here right, so the thing that popped up in my head was- Lucio had the “I wanna kill my parents bcause I hate them and so I can rule and get what I want” thing goin at the start right, like that is basically what started it off he got his dad he didnt get morgha SO what IF I gave murie a “i wanna conquer this place and use it to get my parents back. cuz I missem :(” like fully turned it around idk IDK IT SEEMS MESSY IDK IS IT CUTE IS IT DUMB IT MAKES ME FEEL DUMB BUT IN THAT WAY THAT MIGHT MEAN THAT ITS ACTUALLY WORKING BUT I DONT KNOW *screaming with no air*

But overall yeah hes khal drogo but more noticeably himboey but not in a likeable way cuz were switching them so I cant make him likeable for myself hnjdgfgb leaning into popular dumb jock trope

UnLESSSS i DID combo it with murdermuriel au 1.0 some more and made their tribe like. Not murdery somehow like what would be the opposite of the og scourge roaming around ruining shit. well that was the og kokhuri but now I gotta do some fucking triple axels here to make it make sense so how the fuck do I make this version of kokhuri more warriory in culture than the original but still nice like robinhoody style jhbfsvhjbs this is falling tf apart might need to scrap it bc on lucios end itd be even harder wouldn’t it. Spartan cunts but they don’t kill people that’s a nono lmao

now im thinking some more about the aspect of lucio being, you know. a pretty shitty leader right, and how to incorporate that here, because i have no idea if im following an actual set rule here regarding whats swapped and how even, theres barely a theme im straight up just

but yeah so now i figure it could be murie tryna get his folks back because they were the actual defacto leaders of their tribe, he was just kinda still following along and doin his chores in being the uhh the face, the charisma, the one to kinda like. get the people on board easier with whatever decision they made for them and hyping it up as the best possible choice anyone could ever make and maybe even actually believing it too cuz theyre actually that tightknit and he trusts them with anything aw. is this too onedimensional or can i give my boy some good nice facking family relations at least in an alternate life ghhkjkfdh hes their pride n joy and can do no wrong but yeah the point is he himself hasnt actually made any decisions without them before, isnt very good at actually leading and strategizing and planning and knowing how everything complicated works and he knows it, so he sees his only solution in bringing them back to not let everything fall apart

SEE I BROUGHT IT AROUND I CLEANED UP NICE WITH OG LUCIO SETTING OFF FROM THE POINT OF FEELING LIKE HES THE BEST AT EVERYTHING AND SHOULD B RECOGNIZED AS SUCH AND TRYING TO GET RID OF HIS PARENTS TO GET IT AND MY BOY HERE ENDING UP EXACTLY OPPOSITE. GO SHAWTY GO SHAWTY IM SO SMART am i fucking up lulus backstory i feel like i am cuz im like wait what the fuck did he kill his dad for again. demonheart. deal. thing. whatd he wish. like he wasnt already running for count n shit yet he did want to climb up the ladder in his own tribe right i have no idea yell at me in comments thank you

I also don’t know if the first (last) scourge battle wouldve happened or nah

Lucio/Montag

Oh my fucking god what if I figured out an alternative L moniker for murie so theyd get to switch letters in their namesssssssss like lucio is a made up name he made it up so like UAGHASHG L.,,,...,, Lion ofthe,... south NO he HAS to be bEAR CODED AAFYFFHG BUT LUCIO HAD LEOPARD IMAGERY N SHIT RAAHAHHGH IM FITIN FOR MY LIFE HERE

Anyway he lives in a forest somewhere cuz his tribe threw him out fully voluntarily bc he sucks ass (or at least for their standards cuz I guess he would be way younger than 18 here for this) (Like a spartan type deal ur too weak we don’t want you *drops you off a cliff*  *but theres 4 feet of snow under it so he survives*  *that’s so fucking goofy hjbsfbj kinda suits him*) so uhhhhhh i don’t know where hed be currently chilling for an mc to meet him ever but yeah hes kinda Floki Vikings™ type of vibe at least visually that’s what came to mind first to picture him lol

look at this little blond rat bastard. adorable. becoming increasingly obsessed. picturing lucio with this exact hairline. moving on

and his thing is hes still insecure as fuck but worse at ignoring it and hiding it and hes a lil nervous bundle of sticks and always talking bc of it, kinda Bruno Madrigalesque type vibe julian but a pitch more pathetic who knew it could be done yknow? opposite of The OG The Mountain The Stone Cold Silent The Muriel The Scourge The Kokhuri The Third and also me when writing and not stopped in time

oh oh what if he was totes in denial that his tribe kicked him out and in his view hes on some super intense convoluted secret mission (lasting from. age 7 to now apparently) and as soon as hes done they’ll totally come back for him kdfsgjffd I thought it could either be his own copium or he took it from some last interaction with someone who took pity on him as a kid and wanted to give him some comfort, or something he misunderstood entirely

hm. They both have canid familiars idk what to do with that. muriel with two wolves tho. thats hot shit righ there if i do say so myself

oh now im toying with the idea of taking away muriels SUPPOSED YET UNCONFIRMED AS MY VERY CONTROLLED ACADEMIC STUDY HAS SHOWN COUGHCOUGHJHBSRGJBHF talking to animals buff, i dont wanna just take it and give it to lucio tho, but like. what the fuck else do i give him. astral projecting to tie into his ghost era? sounds dope actually alright lets do that lmao

ok its 1 30 am i hope this is comprehensible to anybody anywhere im zonking out now khbsfhbfk love u

@tetsuooooooooooo I've missed your essays, this was such a treat to log in to!!!

And WOW, thorcoded Muriel is not something I ever would have thought of on my own but oddly enough I feel like the AU you're coming up with could really work, goodness me. And the way you've inverted Lucio's character too!! I'd love to see how their interaction dynamics invert as well!

Always good to hear from you friend, hope you're doing well!

[the-chessboard-is-personal]

ii s1 liveblog but it's just one line per episode and all in one post because people seem to hate liveblogs

also under a cut so the post can be short

1 - gh. this is. 13 years ago?? yeah it sure looks like it. call me problematic or whatever but PLEASE tell me the animation quality gets better. PLEASE. I don't hate the show for this but it is hard to watch /gen

2 - bomb stuttering so much he needs subtitles feels like a harmful representation of people who chronically(?) stutter but I don't stutter so I don't have a proper opinion on that (could someone in the notes confirm or deny?)

3 - KILLED HIM?? (<- said when Balloon was popped) okay it's really funny how in this episode alone I could say that and be talking about threE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS-

4 - okay so I paused in the LOL scene and. "TO DO LIST: REPLACE COINY!" ? ..anyway. what the fuck was that

5 - no budget ass montage skip /silly- ah. nevermind 5.5 ?? - no actually I didn't know that about the 10 contestants thing because no one ever said it in an episode prior to that. also dictionary definition of Taco I see you

6 - who the fuck was that in the intro. is there an orange character?? also what the hell. I didn't install an adblocker for that. UNAUTHORIZED FUCKING THING 🔴. BLOW IT UP NOW!!

7 - who the Phuck is that. wait. that's another MePhone. OH SHIT THEY HAVE BEEF ?!

8 - MePhone 4S?? KILLED HIM??? hm yeah no wonder this show has "insanity" in the title what the fuck is going on

9 - ehh not much to say about this one tbh

10 - don't tell me the fucking COMMERCIAL OBJECT is gonna win

11 - hey neat slideshow. I See You. also yeah yeah this was 12 years ago, but. ......one of these characters seems like a harmful stereotype and this time I'm not talking about Bomb. uh. no further comment. AAAAAAAAAAAA AUDIO DESYNC AAARGHSDFKJG HDLS;JGHGHOS;GHSOLKG RAGRHJ HGARRGAHG RAGHRHAGHGH /negative (sorry again call me problematic but audio desyncs ruin things for me)

12 - oh. more episode 1 flavored pain and suffering. great. oh they don't like it either lol. also what is narnya

13 - OJ you dumbass you SAID THE THING. also hey neat clouds. I See You. ... [paper lore happens] me: yep uh huh *eyes glaze over*

14 - minecraft glass sound hahah[gets hit with the realization that Minecraft is 12 years old] ..haha idiotic island TWOOOO-...oh.

15 - it's him!! and he has claws now! oh he's pathetic. ohh hehe I see. "I'm pretty sure I don't." foreshadowing much? wait WHAT DID 4S JUST SAY

16 - "I guess it's nothing" mhm. sure... jhfkasf "Oh pleas[like button lights up]e, like you've never eaten a sock before" ..4 arms MePhone?

finale part 1 - NOO THE BOX IS OPEN!! wow why so many MePhones- oh wait that's. that's probably a parody of iphone. huh

finale part 2 - "you're DVD and I'm blu-ray" hahahahhaha yeah? you sure that's the gotcha you want it to be? ..oh. OH. w,hat ??hmm ratings huh? reminds me of someo[I am Thwomp'd]

one thing. why does the orange never show up again after that one thing in episode 6 ?

[mushroom-madness]

🍄 ROUND 2: MATCH 13 🍄

🍄 Vote for your Favorite Fungi! 🍄

Descriptions Below ⬇️

Zommoth

"Zommoth is an optional/hidden boss in Bug Fables, fought at the end of the Leif's Request side story. It is also a cordyceps fungus inside a moth host and Leif (whom we also submitted) refers to it as their sibling. It was an experiment to see if bugs could be given magic by infecting them with the parasitic fungi, and the result was This Beast (affectionate). There are other cordyceps in the same laboratory it's found in, but Zommoth is the strongest and the most notable by a large margin. Very little is known about it as a person but it's stated to be a "guardian" figure and implied that it was protecting the lab and the other zombies in it. We are emotionally attached to it. Also, its color scheme is the nonbinary flag." - Submission 47

"Oh boy, do we LOVE this fungus! Zommoth is a cordyceps beast and immortality experiment made in search of the power of the Everlasting Sapling, a thing said to bring eternal life. Unfortunately, as it often is with this sort of things, they the fungus and they the moth were both quite displeased with being involuntarily used for the sake of roaches chasing immortality. It killed everything in the lab and proceeded to take it over with their many, many fungal siblings.

Technically speaking, Zommoth is a blend of both the fungus and its moth host, now twisted beyond recognition and unable to separate even if they wanted to, but we do think it still counts. It's at least 50% fungus. Probably more, it doesn't seem to have had much use for most of those moth bits. It is loving sibling to many undead fungal hybrid abominations, and its hobbies include screaming, firing lasers at people who intrude into its lab, and crawling out of the water like a beast from a horror flick. We believe it deserves to compete, and also to win." - Submission 52

"Oh yeah this thing is a fungus isn't it. Positively overflowing with cordyceps. Honestly kinda forgot about it for this but saw my mutual bring it up and I figured it would need the support. It sure is a Phucking Phungus" - Submission 68

"A zombie moth full of Cordyceps fungus, the result of a horrific experiment. "Sibling” to Leif, as in created through the same unethical project, if you read my last submission. - Submission 105

Zommoth Propaganda

Bug Fables Wiki

Stanley

"He is just the sweetest child and he gives the best hugs! Lookit him! He had 4 arms for extra good hugging! THE BEST BOY DESERVES TO WIN! I love him, he deserves all the good things!" - Submission 7

"A happy whimsical child, but very lonely because they're sick. Will encourage you to make a mess with them." - Submission 41

"He is my favorite boy and is just so pure and adorable. He gives me drawings and gives the best hugs, even if he doesn't win I would be so happy he even got in." - Submission 48

"He's just a lil boye.... - Submission 57

"He's just this young kid, only 8, and he's just so cheerful. He'll draw pictures for the player character, Stella, want to experiment with various things, follow you around just being curious about things. He's such a good kid. Yet the entire time you have him aboard the ship you know that he's dying and you'll have to take him to the Everdoor at some point for Stella is the spiritfarer and ferrying people to the afterlife is what she does. Needless to say I cried especially hard when the time came for me to take him to the Everdoor" - Submission 59

"Y"know I honestly dunno alota details about Stanley cuz I haven't gotten him in spiritfarer yet but I can just tell how funky he is ok" - Submission 64

"You know him. You love him. He's adorable. I couldn't not throw in a vote for him" - Submission 66

"guy!! ever!!" - Submission 84

"Grew him in my garden and he took over my guest room. He's my son who I will personally escort to the afterlife." - Submission 86

"He is such a sweetie!" - Submission 87

"He is my son. you Know" - Submission 89

"He's my bb boy I adore him so so much I wish to give him French fries and let him draw and I'm still distraught over him leaving :((best boy <3» - Submission 99

“I know he was an example but I want him in!!! He's just a little guy!!!! You literally get him from growing him out of a garden and he's just a kid spirit that follows you around and I love him so,,, HE CALLS YOU BIG HAT I-

Also him being in the bracket would be propaganda for people to play spiritfarer in general good game 10/10 - Submission 134

Stanley Propaganda

Stanley Propaganda

Spiritfarer Wiki

[bellyasks]

have you ever had a sickfic-ike experience in real life with any of your friends or family??

ever got the chance to rub someone’s tummy as it cramped??

no but i Will tell you the insane tale of the last time i remember having a stomach bug, which isnt particularly sexy or zesty whatsoever and definitely not what you wanted [death warning bc its relevant to the setup, as is the case with many insane tales]

pulling up a stool It was a dark & stormy night. actually, it was thursday, march 12, 2020, just after 3pm, leaving work from a meeting discussing whether our school might shut down. go to check on my grandparents bc they both got wild dementia. Grandpas Dead. theres a big horrible mess everywhere & my dad & i have to scrub the floors while the brother of this kid i used to go to school with takes grandpa away bc apparently he works at the funeral home now. take a bereavement day the next day. next day comes. friday. Dad And I Are Now So Sick. barfing & woe & misery etc. doesnt matter. we apparently have to go through all grandpas shit Right Now before grandma gets rid of it all. spend saturday digging through heavy bags of clothes with a killer stomachache. bug is at least not a full-blown multi-day thing so we're more or less not puking anymore but i feel So Fucking Awful. dyin over here. would kill to go lay down but im sittin on the floor pushing around bags of a dead mans clothes. lugging around huge sacks of hammers & pipe wrenches etc. brother calls. His College Is Going Virtual. we have to go get him off campus & essentially move him out. sunday. like the 3rd floor of this building. huge heavy carts of crap. Elevators Broke. barely recovered from this bug carrying huge heavy carts of crap down 3 flights of stairs. feel like im about to phucking die. dad has garcia effected himself into thinking the beloved empanada joint got us sick. i have garcia effected myself into thinking the big thing of pulled pork we just made got us sick. both of us know we got sick cleaning up Grandpas Awful Mess. in brothers dorm trying to muster up the strength to keep going. theres a whiteboard on the door instructing visitors to unequip foreskin before entering. my school calls. We're Virtual Now. good thing i spent the past week making 8000 packets. gotta get back to moving huge heavy carts of crap down 3 flights of stairs. absolute dogshit weekend

the last time before that i was in bed for an entire day with that fucking lorax song stuck in my head for literally every second of it