#what the hell else can I tag this with??? lol
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tell ren to turn his location on👉👈
I saw one of the posts of how ren does get jealous of pets being loved over him and alll that so now I have the thought of the one meme of ‘ah yes, me, my partner and their [enter normal pet size] foot [pet]’
I don’t have anything else, it did pop into my head though and I thought I’d share with the class.
⌞♥⌝ ItsNotVivy on Twitter actually made that exact meme with Ren a looong time ago!!
#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#thegoofyest#In Viv we trust 😌 They were one of the very first people to take an interest in 14DWY!! /gen#Dare I say..... One of the founding fathers lmaooooo#Also!! Viv (along with a few other twitter artists) were one of the main reasons why I started this Tumblr in da first place! ^^#14DWY didn't have much of a following until they started makin memes and art on Twitter#Then all of a sudden I had all these people wanting to know more about the game; and da next thing I knew; I had over 50 asks overnight lol#So I owe a lot of 14DWY's success to ItsNotVivy; hmimprvmntbsmnt; dreosuger; Diachuu; glade_o; Meowastrophe; noullyart; etc.#And it's also the reason why I wanna show my appreciation towards them all by giving them Easter Eggs in the game#I also kind feel like it's the very least I can do to show my appreciation ghjsgjh ;v; Same with da 14DWY staff on Discord#It's the only place where I ask for help regarding managing the 14DWY socials (everywhere else is just me); and they go through hell n back#—to keep the server a fun and lively place for everyone#I owe so much to them as well; which is why some of da mods already have their own lil Easter Eggs in the game#I also like to think they're canon employees at the Corland Bay library gsdjgjg Except Jesse; that mf would set everything on fire /silly#Also not me getting mushy in the tags????????? What is happening to me.... Where is my mysterious and aloof persona...... /j#I'll shuddup now before I start crying (/pos) over the founding fathers on Tumblr as well lmao
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I am thinking thoughts about airports and flying again. And Dreamling, of course.
So. Human AU. History professor Hob has to fly around a lot for work, perhaps for conferences or smth of the sort so it's always to a small handful of the same nearby cities. He's pretty neutral on the idea of flying in general, though he wishes it was a bit more environmentally friendly, but Hob is a sucker for a nice airport and especially a nice airport lounge during layovers or before boarding.
Hob has begun to frequent a small local airline (White Horse Air, the logo is a coat of arms with a little pegasus, wyvern, and hippogriff on it, haha) when traveling because he likes their service (they've never lost his bags, not even once!) and their flights are never fully booked, which makes them quieter and easier for hob's chronic pains. He always picks seats with no one next to him so he can sprawl out and so it's easier on his knees.
Until, one day, he boards the little plane and there's someone in the seat next to his. Hob's sure that when he booked his seat, the other one was empty. Oh well, whatever, Hob's not going to bother the other man already sitting there for one flight— he'll just have to be a little more mindful booking next time. Hob shuffles into the seat, and notices that the stranger sat beside him is reading Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur! Hob gets excited because! That's a William Caxton publication! And Hob has so much to say about Caxton! He turns to the stranger to strike up conversation about it and... is immediately lost at how pretty the stranger is. Handsome, gorgeous, yes of course, but pretty, with the shell pink lips and focused blue eyes and slight frown at the book in his hands. Hob picks up his metaphorical jaw off the metaphorical ground and strikes up conversation with the stranger. Though the other man starts off apprehensive, somehow the two hours of flying fly by and the two of them end up talking about all sorts of art, history, and everything in between. Hob learns that the stranger works in publishing, thus his interest in Caxton.
Their flight lands, and the two of them disembark at the gate, still attempting to continue their conversation while Hob tries to wrangle his carry-on bags. (The Stranger only has a small laptop bag on one shoulder and a suit jacket folded over his other arm with him.) Then Hob has to check the time and begrudgingly says that he should probably head towards his next gate soon— this is just a layover after all. The Stranger looks ever so slightly disappointed and admits that this is his actual destination and he needs to meet his sister soon. They part ways, and Hob tries to dwell on the strange warmth in his chest. He thinks about the Stranger for his entire work trip afterwards.
This, somehow, happens a couple times. Turns out they both frequent White Horse Air, and though they're never in booked seats next to each other again, the flights are always empty enough that they can shift to sit next to each other once the plane's in the air. They chat the flight away, and then part ways once they disembark, with the Stranger headed to the baggage claim and Hob to his next flight. One time, the Stranger even requests the hostess to bring out a special bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1828 just for the two of them to share. Hob's in awe. He really enjoys their conversations, it's nice to be able to talk about his interests in a non-academia environment. The Stranger always has the most intriguing and eye-opening perspectives on everything, too. It doesn't really help that Hob thinks... maybe he's developing a tiny, teeny, really inconsequential really crush on his Stranger. He's not in grade school anymore, how does he feel like this about someone he doesn't even know the name of yet!
This all comes to a head when Hob mentions to the Stranger that his layover is a bit longer than it usually is, and if the Stranger is in no rush, they can continue their conversation in one of the airport's lounges. White Horse Air is a bit too small an airline to have their own lounge, but Hob's collected enough miles to get into one of the other airline lounges and is fully willing to pay to get in one if it means more time with his Stranger.
The Stranger is extremely enthusiastic about the idea— which shows up physically as a subtle, coy upturning at the corner of his mouth and a little sparkle in his eye. (Hob feels proud that he can read this reaction so well.) He's so enthusiastic, in fact, that the Stranger offers to get them both into a first-class lounge. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes.
Let's just say they get to the lounge, split some cheese and wine, and the proceed to get even more enthusiastic with each other in a private room. Hob's lucky he brought a change of clothes in his carry-on. (Maybe Hob's not so lucky and can't sit comfortably during his next three-hour flight.)
Hob gets a bit emotional when he has to leave for his next flight (already missing being able to hold his Stranger's face so gently, being able to card his fingers through his soft, smokey hair) and gets his guts together to ask if the Stranger wants to exchange phone numbers or something, so they can be in contact more regularly. Perhaps even, meet on purpose maybe? The Stranger smiles and kisses him lightly on the cheek when he slips a business card into Hob's hand.
Hob's so caught up in it all that he doesn't check the business card until he's fully boarded and sat on his next flight. And he gawks.
Morpheus Aion The Dreaming Publishing House
As in, one of White Horse Air's biggest shareholders? Aion, as in, probably the sibling of Teleute Aion? As in, Teleute Aion, the CEO of White Horse Air?! Hob almost passes out.
In the end, Morpheus and Hob laugh it out. Morpheus promises he never abused his sibling privileges to invade Hob's privacy, but used the sibling perks to frequent White Horse Air flights a little more than he even needed to just for the chance to see Hob again. They're both happy to not need to keep flying just for that chance anymore, haha. Idiots in love! Turns out, while Teleute lives where Hob keeps having his layovers, Morpheus and Hob actually live just a few hours driving from each other from their shared initial departure location. It all works out perfectly, and Morpheus self-restraint from inviting Hob to move in (so they don't have to keep travelling to see each other, no matter how small) lasts not even a year after they officially start dating. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes :)
(Years down the line, much after they're married, Hob finally has enough miles to get them back into those first-class lounges to have more fun. It's all very lovely.)
#my thought process was “can i get them to fuck in an airport lounge room” and then i never even wrote that part#guess what i am also a sucker for a nice airport and an even nicer airport lounge. i am yearning for a nice flight rn#i genuinely love flying so much. not domestic travel but international travel is what my entire life revolves around and i am allowed to#romanticise it a little bit haha#anyway#(me describing morpheus' lips with a guitar color) ah yes literature#how the hell do i tag this#i dont usually post idea dumps like this but i have no where else to put it haha#i'd love to write it but i dont think i'd know how to approach this lol#if anyone wants to take this as a prompt go ahead!!#the sandman#dreamling#dc#rex speaks#rex writes#(?)#long post
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in regards to fermi’s paradox, by me.
i’ve never written a poem so fast, but once i started i couldn’t stop. it has everything to do with, well… everything.
the fermi paradox is about the existence of extraterrestrial life, and why we haven’t found it yet. the five hypotheses mentioned are just a drop in the bucket of everything we’ve come up with. i’ve always loved that, and i love what they say about humanity as a whole— the good, the bad, the ugly. it teaches us a lot about us.
this poem is tough. it comes from the gut more than the heart, but the love is still there. in these unstable and uncertain times, i hope you all know it’s with you, too.
#i still want to believe in us after everything#to hell with the stars we are right here. we need to protect what’s right here#we’d only be looking for home everywhere we went#this flopped everywhere else but that’s okay. it’s still in the universe#can you tell i cried all day at work yesterday#writing#poetry#original poem#poem#spilled ink#fermi paradox#science#loosely lol#words#poets on tumblr#i always feel embarrassed with tags#poems on life#re: my writing.
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get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it
it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is I should have put aerostatics not airplanes...
#I don't know how the hell to draw kim#PLEASE gib me feedback#pretend the dialogue is better this is all I can do lol. but you get the gist of it#aaa give me constructive criticism. the other post about kim secretly being a loser made me think about what his apartment would look like#and this popped in my head I had to draw it#is this in character?#there's no eyebrow battle because in my head this happens some time in the future where kim opens up a little more easily#at this point he trust him with his secrets more (but not completely. harry's not touching the blue box today)#but it's a mixture of ''maybe if I tell x he will stop asking for more'' and real trust#but like do you see that happen#it's a secret because he doesn't want other people to learn that insisting can work#like I said in the tags of the other post I think he never lets anyone in to the point of avoiding calling the plumber even if the sink#has been broken for months#addition: fuck I should have putted more machines in there. I couldn't think of anything else other than radio controlled airplane#and a sewing machine. he must have more stuff like the camera.#he'd have some dangerous thing to warm the room#and nerd stuff. I'm not sure if he'd display it or keep it boxed somewhere#disco elysium#that's a convertible couch-bed if you can't tell. half covered with the Pile#pointless microblogging#it's so hard to draw them right they look different in every official thing#believe me I have tried#idk how to put more of the skills here :/#I have achieved peak kimharry brainrot I can't go back
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Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!
It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!
Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!
I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.
Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!
#i don't JUST like posts too often#really the only posts i dont reblog but like are to save for later or if it's too personal/explicit#or i guess i have nothing to add and OP has said it all yknow#but if i see some writing or art i love then hell yeah i always force myself to add at least one tag i like just so the artist/author sees#otherwise it feels like a hollow transaction and i really want people to know i appreciate their art more than just pressing a button yknow#and I KNOW it's intimidating at first to interact with others!! TRUST ME i get it and i'm still awful at it#but just one little comment can make someone feel so good about their writing... why wouldn't someone want to try that at least#especially if you enjoyed it!!! even a key smash or a string of emojis!!!#and the death of the tumblr tag is SO SAD because where else am i meant to talk to you lot?#i mean these tags are longer than my actual post and that's the beauty of tumblr#you don't have to perceive me down here but you can if you wish and i love you for that!#and it's a nice way to organise your blog to make it navigable for others#ANYWAY said i was done whining and continued whining down here so there's that LOL but i always want to interact with more people#please do not be afraid of reaching out to me! scroll through my blog for 5 seconds and you'll see what a nerdy loser i am#akdjgds i mean aren't we all here#spud rants#writing#but thanks again to anyone who leaves nice comments im giving you a (consensual) forehead smooch MWAH
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Self-Indulgent Septicinnit Playlist BC It's My Blog, And I do What I Want!!!
format from @brett-is-afraid's playlist posts because I rlly love how you can see part of the lyrics for the songs (I assume the ones that were most fitting, or why it got picked lol)
Her hair is a dark strawberry blonde, and when I'm with her, nothing is wrong. Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren’t on; Smaller than mine and oh god, I am gone.
We'll be runnin' down the street yelling, "Kiss my ass!!" I'm like, "Yeah, whatever, we're still living like that", When the sun's going down, we'll be raisin' our cups, singing, "Here's to never growing up"
'Cause my heart is my keep; And you are threatening me. Oh, my God, You're the one I've been holding out for, for so damn long, for so damn long- And you're a far cry from an empire at peace
And if you ever leave, I'm coming with you. Stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe. If you ever leave, I'm coming with you. I'm forever locking myself in the glass of your rearview, Trying to makе friends with the friends you'rе close to - If you ever leave, I'm coming with you.
Used to live inside this box with everyone noticing me. I used to leave the evening feeling right. I'll be with you each and every night, Chasing that horizon in our eyes. You want a garden, but you got a balcony, And you're always lookin' for some company; You want a say, well, what you got to say? Give in to me, give in to me and see
Heaven-sent is a coffee cup, Or the way you weigh your head on mine. We are sunflowers begging for light; We turn our face to these great blue skies. Heaven-sent is a beach by sunset; Stand on the edge, just a little too high.
I'd no idea on what ground I was founded; All of that goodness is going with you now. Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted. All of my goodness is going with you now. Dragging along, following your form, Hung like the pelt of some prey you had worn. Remember me, love, when I'm reborn As the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn
You only hold me up like this 'Cause you don't know who I really am. Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you. We're making out inside crashed cars, we're sleeping through all our memories. I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive (Now I only waste it dreaming of you)
It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down, I don't know where it is, I don't know when- but I want you around when it falls in place with you and I. we go from "if" to "when" your side and mine are both behind its indication. This is gonna bring me clarity. This'll take the heart right out of me. She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted; She is everything I want that I never knew I needed.
#I didn't add “Talk Too Much” because that's too obvious#and no songs from brett's speticinnit ones or otherwise posted under the ship tag because they're all SO GOOD but i wanna be original#also. honestly. the coffee cup line is just too good for a guy who OWNS A FUCKING COFFEE COMPANY LIKE HELLO???#you can tell which songs @septiccoffeefreak picked lol <3 my bbygirl#i made a textpost#septicinnit#youtuber rpf#rpf shipping#RPF#rpf#youtube rpf ship#mcyt rpf#pro rpf#rarepair rpf#rpf ship#RPF rarepair#rpf rarepair#rpf youtube#youtube rpf#Pro rpf#video blogging rpf#YouTube RPF#proship#rpf ship playlist#rpf playlist#anyone else think it's so annoying the way poppytwt is treated like it's like. it's own thing versus just proship (or even just rpf!) mcyt?#like talk about a millitant fanbase. the (redacted)SMP fandom is SO anti that they exiled proshippers AND rpf writers to their own fandom#and then pretended it was just a synonym for pedophile??? that's fucking crazy what the hell.#hell fandom. HELL FANDOM.#poppytwt
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Personally I think the little phenomenon w/ Johnny Whitney writing a just genuinely sort of devastating song once per every record or so (or twice! take, well, Take Me to the Sea 4 example. actually three times maybe. talking about specifically georgia + my organ sounds like… here and also bonetrees and a broken heart a little. also also As Brass And Satin just feels utterly melancholic in its near entirety) is that he just wakes up face down covered in blood in the studio, his own or someone else’s he can’t tell, shaking and grasping some shoddily scrawled out lyrics on a rlly very old piece of paper. The rest of the band might be like “johnny what the fuck happened” and he just springs 2 his feet like “oh haha nothing :> im fine don’t worry. nothing happened!!!!!!! anyways i have this cool new idea 4 a song wanna hear” and any time anyone tries 2 ask about it he immediately dodges the question and moves on2 a diff topic. He can explain what it’s about, but any time someone asks about the inspiration he gets nervous and is like “ohhh ummm. I 4got! Any other song though lol” and doesn’t wait 4 an answer. that’s just a theory though a Seattle theory
#evil neighing compilation#only exceptions I can think of r like… March on electric children and the rlly early bbs stuff. not vade though that stuffs filled w/#inexplicable sadness#I can’t say much regarding hologram jams or soiled life since I haven’t lsitened 2 them in full#‘r you 4 real saying that this adultery has a devastating song on there’ yes I am in fact! im singling out time for tenderness here. what#the hell happened 2 them when they were like 17-19 (that’s my guess 4 the age range anywho) 2 write that. is it just me who feels like that#about time for tenderness or#crimes. doesn’t make me feel sad per se. but the title track and beautiful horses I just. understand So Much it gets 2 me rlly bad#bpib should be obvious. the shame. but also every breath is a bomb once you know the context of who it was partially written about#especially Jordan’s part :-(#young machetes… actually not giant swan or street wars/exotic foxholes 4 me though I suppose I get the sense that I’m supposed 2 feel sad#about them#it’s camouflage camouflage 4 me!#what else what else. oh yeah Johnnys solo stuff. that entire little acoustic mixtape thingy is very sad feeling 2 me in some way#but esepcially at the end of the road there’s a sapphire pit. genuinely made me bawl my eyes out the other night. jfc it’s gr8 but it makes#me feel a little sick 2 my stomach sad#OH MY GOD I 4GOT. NEON BLONDE LOL#that’s also a p obvious choice. chandeliers and vines#it’s a sort of sarcastic song one could suppose. that’s true 4 a lot of Whitney’s work (especially in tbb though Tbf)#still sort of gets 2 me#ya know#done tags rambling my bad
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Whumpers, what are your earliest memories?
Mine is from when I was about two or three. I was in a stroller, at my cousin’s Irish dancing recital. After the recital, my aunts were talking down to me in the stroller, and to each other. I was experiencing extreme anxiety because I couldn’t understand what they were saying, when I felt I should have been able to communicate with them like they were communicating with each other. I was also very tired and dazed. I did not cry though… I probably looked normal on the outside.
I also remember when I was about four or five, I went to the beach with my dad and one of his friends. I somehow found my way onto the dock, planted my little rear end on a jet ski, untethered it from the dock, and started floating into the sunset. There was an old lady lounging in a donut inflatable out some way; she said something to me, but I couldn’t understand what she said, despite trying really hard. I’m assuming it was something along the lines of “Oh my god get off that jet ski you’re going to fucking DIE, kid,” but again… couldn’t understand a word of what she said, and got frustrated because she was speaking English (without an accent) and I should know how to understand adults speaking English to me.
At this point, my dad is yelling at me from across the water, and a young lifeguard drags the jet ski back. On land, my dad lectured at me very harshly as he led me back to the car. I didn’t know I had done anything wrong, and was very confused. At some point this guy starts quoting the Bible at me, and the only thing I could pick out were the words (spoken very emphatically), “Your days are numbered.”
“My days are numbered?” cue a vivid mental image of a calendar, with dates listed for every day of the week, “What does that mean?” Later on I figured out this was the Bible’s way of referencing death at God’s hand which just made me even more confused as to what I did, until at age thirteen, I figured out, “Oh a baby who can’t swim floating on a jet ski is terrifying, actually.”
Tagging: @kaleidoscopr @redd956 @hereissomething @astudyinpanda @c0ldbrains @straight-to-the-pain
#tag game lol#I had a thing with not understanding people very well (or at all) as a child idk if that’s normal kid stuff or what lol#Like you know how in dreams people’s speech is a blur? That was how I (mostly) interacted with the world from ages two to six#My best friend at the time would talk to me a lot (she was a couple years younger) and she was still partly in the “babbling” phase#and couldn’t speak clearly at all#so I just kind of nodded and went along with it despite having no idea what the hell she just said#Which I continued to do with everyone else into adulthood; as soon as someone talks to me I zone out whether I want to or not lol#My life has been a perpetual cycle of: ��Why can’t I do that; am I stupid or something?” > studying it intensely > excelling at it#Like humor. No one laughed at my jokes in my first year of public school; so I watched what made people tick…#By the time junior year online English class rolled around I had the teachers and students in stitches almost constantly#Likewise with understanding people: I zone out all the time; but I can quickly replay what I heard in my head and ask a question to verify#if that’s what they said; then give an appropriate response to it#Basically I repeat 70% of what people say to me during conversation to make sure I’m not missing anything#As a result I’m now pretty good at figuring out what people are saying if there are language barriers or speech abnormalities involved#But do NOT give me verbal directions; I can and will forget them the instant you walk away
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🌸。*゚+. Sorry to everyone I owe things to. It’s been extremely hard trying to get myself to start working on any replies and remaining starters. Been losing focus and zoning out more frequently these work shifts, so it’s been difficult to do much of anything ;; ;; I’m hoping soon I can kick myself back into gear, but right now my brain is just not having a good time.
Sending good vibes to everyone and well wishes. Hopefully the creative drive keeps strong with y’all ♡
#MUN SPEAKING 🌸 ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ᴾᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ#Still having a rough time processing things. I’ll be okay for like an hour and then suddenly just—#not be okay jfsijdbd This is gonna be one hell of a year to get through…#but hopefully I can kick my butt into gear and get that momentum going again with stuff on here.#That’ll help keep my brain focused on other things and just give some more good times to look forward to ;; ;;#I still have the art stuff too so I’m looking forward to working on those… just… again ;;; ;;; trying to get started first.#The starting is the hardest part for me but I’ll keep trying in the meantime.#Just know I’m not shoving anything aside. I’m actively trying every night at work during my shifts. I just end up staring at my screen#for the whole 10 hour shift ;;; ;;; so… sorry for the wait on replies and stuff ckdjxbebc#I rambled in the tags again— what else is new??? LOL anyways yeah big hugs to all. Might try another inbox call maybe#to keep giving people interaction stuff. Or do like a… perma-inbox thing?? So I know who to bother randomly when I wanna reach out#and not add to anyone’s plate who doesn’t want additional stuff to answer. I KEEP RAMBLING OKAY BYE KISSIES AND HUGS—!!!!!
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horror story pov: someone finds my bloated and rotten corpse in the woods. im trans but they don't have a way to know that. im regarded as a Jane doe based off the leftovers of my meat and viscera.
the investigators poke and prod the sleeping forest around me until it's disturbed like the person who found me. my corpse watches them silently. they scream. they think I blinked. they heard a voice.
i'll be your slowly rotting jane doe romeo if you be my horrified john doe juliet
#hell o popsicle#hell o void#i'll be your slowly rotting jane doe romeo if you be my horrified john doe juliet#trans horror#hell o pyro#cory def influenced this thought process lol#death#body horror#what do i tag this#hm this would actually make a good horror story. i rewrote it to make it less uh likely to cause someone else discomfort and dysphoria#made it about me so you can disconnect from it should u need that
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didn't know there was a new frictional games / amnesia release....until now (that i do)
#which isn't unexpected b/c i do not keep up w/fuckall. know nothing abt it so that's fun#would say like ''is it in the amnesia cinematic universe or just [in media res amnesia having moments]''#but i think soma is pretty parallel to [amnesia in media res] but is not called amnesia: soma#frictional releases pretty focused on Narratives ft. Themes and shit#wait i only just now remembered that amnesia a machine for pigs exists lol. wasn't that technically another studio's production though#it did also have Themes even if....it was pretty puzzle based wasn't it. idk. anyways#also bit of an f like aw cmon when frictional's first [this protagonist is a woman]'s story focuses a lot on like ''the 'birth' in 'rebirth#is literal thanks'' like great praganacy and having a baby now and the climactic events all about motherhood....alright#but it did have Story and the connections to that original amnesia lore(tm) is fun. was musing on it just the other week....#like do you think daniel's ''good ending''(?) (i think he can also just Walk Out He Can Leave. and that's an okay ending. maybe the best)#being like ''let's go to that other dimensional homeworld'' actually is shit b/c it's trash hell world. maybe they just go somewhere else#idek what tags i may have in use lol#amnesia#atdd
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Oh no did Koko bot message me because it knows I'm having Issues ... Fuck lol
#Telling me like i can get you another Tumblr user to talk to! Why would I EVER do that !!!!!!#Why would I subject someone else to my fucking worst thoughts like ... my worst shit i can at least put under a cut/in tags on here#But like a message and then they feel obligated to respond and i just.. like.. no ?? Let's not fucking do that actually#Like i have suffered in silence for the majority of my life I'm used to it. It's fine like it's the only way to not be yelled at#It sucks yeah. But like. Life has never NOT sucked it's just how it is and i have to deal with it cause nobody who can change shit cares#Hell even most people who CANT change shit don't care lol#Idk what else to do I'm going to die trying to keep it together but I'm never allowed to ask for help so I guess dying it is lol
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#writing fic isn't a job and comments aren't a salary #and if it starts to feel that way then you might be experiencing burnout #and it could be time for a rest - or to think about one anyway #I obviously don't know your situation #but that's what it was for me
I'm going to start this post off by saying that I write fic, and I know the pain of putting something out there and not getting a response. It sucks and it hurts and it puts a dent in my self-confidence. If I have the choice between posting a work on AO3 and getting only comments or posting a work on AO3 and getting only kudos, I'll probably choose comments let's say 8 times out of 10.
But with that in mind, posts that attempt to shame or guilt readers into commenting don't actually work.
Negative reinforcement (in the form of shame, guilt, or other worse emotions) doesn't make anyone want to do the thing. It just makes them want to avoid the guilt, etc. Rather than encouraging someone to talk to you about your writing, you're making that person want to avoid you so that they don't have to feel bad. That's just human nature.
I've said before that I think a lot of writers are looking for community rather than comments, and I still think that's true. The reason I love both writing and receiving comments is because it makes me feel like I've made a connection with someone. I may never know their real name or what they look like or where they live or anything else but what fandom we have in common, but we've reached out to each other in this text-based medium and we've shared words that made each other feel something.
I know that these posts are written out of frustration or loneliness or needing support or a hundred other reasons I could list off the top of my head. But when I read "you should be grateful for the things I give you and show me proper appreciation" it just reminds me of my parents telling me to clean my room or to follow the rules while I live under their roof.
It's so much more vulnerable to admit, "I don't know if this story is any good and I really wish someone would reassure me right now."
It's much harder to say, "I feel so alone in this fandom, and I want to make friends with someone."
It's difficult to admit, "I worked so hard on this for so long and I'm so tired, but if someone out there likes it then all of that effort will be worthwhile - and if no one says anything, then I'll feel like my effort was wasted."
I'm not trying to shame the people who made those posts, and if that's how this comes across then I'm sorry. I'm just trying to explain why I think those posts will harm more than they help.
I also hope that any readers who see this post will understand that those writers are just people who are feeling a lot of different ways, and they're venting their frustrations. I've been there. I've reblogged those posts before when I was feeling frustrated like that too.
If you're able to comment, those comments are appreciated. If you're not able to comment (for whatever reason), that's okay too. ❤️
#fandom#fanfiction#copying op's tags because they're as on point as the rest of the post which is pretty damn great itself#and i say that as both#someone who sometimes still catches herself obsessively checking her ao3 inbox#and someone who sometimes still feels guilty about not having enough energy/motivation/things to say to comment on fics she likes#comments are wonderful! but they're also not something you can always just whip up on a whim#nor should they be someone's main motivation to write or main criteria to judge their own work or even themselves by#and yeah i just hate the idea that they are a writer's 'payment'#i'm not writing fic to be paid! i'm not writing fic for anyone else but me unless they're explicitly labeled as gifts!#i just have brain gremlins about weird subjects!#and if someone else has brain gremlins about the same things#i'll be happy and maybe even a little giddy to discuss them with them#hell just yesterday i was rereading this beautiful lovely amazing comment from a while back#by someone on anon who told me they'd been thinking about my fic for like two years before finding the will to write a comment#when i replied to that comment i didn't give a damn about the fact they could have commented right away#instead of leaving that fic commentless for two years#i only cared about screaming 'YES! YES! YOU UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN ABOUT BLORBO FROM MY RARE FANDOM!' at them#and the conversation that got started with that reply will probably always be one of my fave interactions with someone on ao3#... also i ALSO managed to comment on like. one of my fave fics EVER only after rereading it endlessly#leaving kudos on it both logged-in and on anon#and bookmarking it and finding any excuse to spam it to other readers lol#you can't force stuff like that
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No. No, it couldn't have been a dream The escape, Rowan, the ship to Terrasen—
A dream. An illusion. Her escape from him, from Maeve, had been another illusion.
Had she said it? Had she said where the Keys were hidden?
Then a cool, cultured voice purred, "All that training, and this is what becomes of you?" Not real. Arobynn, standing on the other side of the altar, was not real.
"Even Sam held out better than this."
Fenrys snarled.
You could get out of these chains, if you really wanted," Arobynn said, frowning with distaste. "If you really tried."
No, she couldn't, and everything had been a dream, a lie.
"You let yourself remain captive. Because the moment you are free..." Arobynn chuckled. "Then you must offer yourself up, a lamb to slaughter."
Only hearing the King of the Assassins, unseen and unnoted beside her.
"Deep down, you're hoping you'll be here long enough that the young King of Adarlan will pay the price. Deep down, you know you're hiding here, waiting for him to clear the path." Arobynn leaned against the side of the altar, cleaning his nails with a dagger. "Deep down, you know it's not really fair, that those gods picked you. That Elena picked you instead of him. She bought you time to live, yes, but you were still chosen to pay the price. Her price And the gods'?"
Arobynn ran a long-fingered hand down the side of her face. "Do you see what I tried to spare you from all these years? What you might have avoided had you remained Celaena, remained with me?" He smiled. "Do you see, Aelin?"
She could not answer. Had no voice. Cairn hit bone, and—
Aelin lunged upward, hands grasping for her thigh. No chains weighed her. No mask smothered her. No dagger had been twisted into her body. Breathing hard, the scent of musty sheets clinging to her nose, the sounds of her screaming replaced by the drowsy chirping of birds, Aelin scrubbed at her face.
The prince who'd fallen asleep beside her was already running a hand down her back in silent, soothing strokes.
A dream. Just a dream.
She twisted, setting her feet to the threadbare carpet on the uneven wood floor.
"Dawn isn't for another hour," Rowan said.
Yet Aelin reached for her shirt. "I'll get warmed up, then." Maybe run, as she had not been able to do in weeks and weeks.
Rowan sat up, missing nothing. "Training can wait, Aelin." They'd been doing it for weeks now, as thorough and grueling as it had been at Mistward.
She shoved her legs into her pants, then buckled on her sword belt.
"No, it can't."
A gathering storm to the north had forced their ship to find harbor last night—and after weeks at sea, none of them had hesitated to spend a few hours on land. To learn what in hell had happened while they'd been gone.
The answer: war.
Everywhere, war raged. But where the fighting occurred, the aging innkeeper didn't know. Boats didn't stop at the port anymore— and the great warships just sailed past. Whether they were enemy or friendly, he also didn't know.
Aelin scowled. "What." It wasn't so much of a question as demand.
His gaze was unfaltering. As it had been when she'd returned from her run through the misty fields beyond the inn and found him leaning against the apple tree. "That's enough for today."
"We've hardly started." She lifted her blade.
Rowan kept his own lowered. "You barely slept last night."
Aelin tensed. "Bad dreams." An understatement. She lifted her chin and threw him a grin. "Perhaps I'm starting to wear you down a bit."
His canines gleamed. "You need to eat."
"I need to train."
She couldn't stop it-that need to do something. To be in motion.
No matter how many times she swung her blade, she could feel them. The shackles. And whenever she paused to rest, she could feel it, too—her magic. Waiting.
Indeed, it seemed to open an eye and yawn.
She clenched her jaw, and attacked again Rowan met each blow, and she knew her maneuvers were descending into sloppiness.
Knew he let her continue rather than seizing the many openings to end it.
She couldn't stop. War raged around them People were dying. And she had been locked in that damned box, had been taken apart again and again, unable to do anything.
Rowan struck, so fast she couldn't track it. But it was the foot he slid before her own that doomed her, sending her careening into the dirt.
"I win," he panted. "Let's eat."
Aelin glared up at him. "Another round."
Rowan just sheathed his sword. "After breakfast."
She growled. He growled right back.
"Don't be stupid," he said. "You'll lose all that muscle if you don't feed your body. So eat. And if you still want to train afterward, I'll train with you." He offered her a tattooed hand.
But Aelin said, "People are dying. In Terrasen. In-everywhere. People are dying, Rowan."
"Your eating breakfast isn't going to change that." Her lips curled in a snarl, but he cut her off. "I know people are dying. We are going to help them. But you need to have some strength left, or you won't be able to."
Truth. Her mate spoke truth. And yet she could see them, hear them. Those dying, frightened people. Whose screams so often sounded like her own.
Rowan wriggled his fingers in silent reminder. Shall we?
Aelin scowled and took his hand, letting him haul her to her feet. So pushy.
Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me.
Elide's eyes widened. Widened further as he opened his mouth, and took a bite. His swallow was audible. His cringe barely contained. Elide reined in her smile at the pure misery that entered the Lion's tawny stare. Aelin and Rowan had been finishing up a similar battle when she'd entered the taproom minutes ago, the queen wishing her luck before striding back into the courtyard.
Elide hadn't seen her sit still for longer than it took to eat a meal. Or during the hours when she'd instructed them in Wyrdmarks, after Rowan had requested she teach them.
It had gotten her out of the chains, the prince had explained. And if the ilken were resistant to their magic, then learning the ancient marks would come in handy with all they faced ahead. The battles both physical and magic.
Gavriel met her stare, and Elide again restrained her laugh.
She felt, rather than saw, Lorcan enter. The innkeeper instantly found somewhere else to be. The man hadn't been surprised to see five Fae enter his inn last night, so his vanishing whenever Lorcan appeared was certainly due to the glower the male had perfected.
Indeed, Lorcan took one look at Elide and Gavriel and left the dining room.
They'd barely spoken these weeks. Elide hadn't known what to even say. A member of this court. Her court. Forever.
He and Aelin certainly hadn't warmed toward each other. No, only Rowan and Gavriel really spoke to him. Fenrys, despite his promise to Aelin not to fight with Lorcan, ignored him most of the time. And Elide ... She'd made herself scarce often enough that Lorcan hadn't bothered to approach her.
Good. It was good. Even if she sometimes found herself opening her mouth to speak to him. Watching him as he listened to Aelin's lessons on the Wyrdmarks. Or while he trained with the queen, the rare moments when the two of them weren't at each other's throats.
Aelin had been returned to them. Was recovering as best she could.
Elide didn't taste her next bite of porridge. Gavriel, thankfully, said nothing. And Anneith didn't speak, either. Not a whisper of guidance. It was better that way. To listen to herself. Better that Lorcan kept his distance, too.
Whether the others knew what propelled her, they hadn't said a word. Aelin sheathed Goldryn and loosed a long breath. Deep down, her power grumbled. She flexed her fingers. Maeve's cold, pale face flashed before her eyes. Her magic went silent.
Fenrys sat in wolf form at the edge of the nearest field, staring out across the expanse.
Precisely where he'd been before dawn.
She let him hear her steps, his ears twitching. He shifted as she approached, and leaned against the half-rotted fence surrounding the field.
"Who'd you piss off to get the graveyard shift?" Aelin asked, wiping the sweat from her brow.
Fenrys snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "Would you believe I volunteered for it?" She arched a brow. He shrugged, watching the field again, the mists still clinging to its farthest reaches. "I don't sleep well these days." He cut her a sidelong glance. "I don't suppose I'm the only one."
She picked at the blister on her right hand, hissing. "We could start a secret society-for people who don't sleep well."
"As long as Lorcan isn't invited, I'm in."
Aelin huffed a laugh. "Let it go."
His face turned stony. "I said I would."
"You clearly haven't."
"I'll let it go when you stop running yourself ragged at dawn."
"I'm not running myself ragged. Rowan is overseeing it."
"Rowan is the only reason you're not limping everywhere."
Truth. Aelin curled her aching hands into fists and slid them into her pockets. Fenrys said nothing didn't ask why she didn't warm her fingers. Or the air around them. He just turned to her and blinked three times. Are you all right?
A gull's cry pierced the gray world, and Aelin blinked back twice. No. It was as much as she'd admit. She blinked again, thrice now. Are you all right?
Two blinks from him, too. No,
They were not alright.
They might never be. If the others knew, if they saw past the swagger and temper, they didn't let on.
None of them commented that Fenrys hadn't once used his magic to leap between places. Not that there was anywhere to go in the middle of the sea. But even when they sparred, he didn't wield it. Perhaps it had died with Connall. Perhaps it had been a gift they had both shared, and touching it was unbearable.
She didn't dare peer inward, to the churning sea inside her. Couldn't.
Aelin and Fenrys stood by the field as the sun arced higher, burning off the mists.
Aelin shook her head. Another dream, or hallucination. "If she's on our heels with this army, I'm just ... trying to understand it. Her, I mean."
"You plan to kill her." The gruel in her stomach turned over, but Aelin shrugged. Even as she tasted ash on her tongue.
"Would you prefer to do it?"
"I'm not sure I'd survive it," he said through his teeth. "And you have more of a reason to claim it than I do."
"I'd say we have an equal claim."
His dark eyes roved over her face. "Connall was a better male than—than how you saw him that time. Than what he was in the end."
She gripped his hand and squeezed. "I know."
The last of the mists vanished. Fenrys asked quietly, "Do you want me to tell you about it?" He didn't mean his brother.
She shook her head. "I know enough." She surveyed her cold, blistered hands. "I know enough," she repeated.
#Chapter 44#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Fenrys#Rowaelin#Throne of Glass series#no spoilers please this is my first read to read along with me there will be book & chapter spoilers in post & tags with more in tags etc.#Fenrys and Aelin#the Mistward references are getting me man everytime they go full circle ow my soul but aw my heart but ahh my brain#YOU DID NOT JUST REFERENCE SAM CORTLAND IN COMPARISON OH MY GODS MY SOUL IM DEAD NOW HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US BB GIRL NO#the fact she can’t tell reality from nightmare because of Maeve is truly so cruel and utterly heartbreaking#the fact Cairn uses her name oh hell no it hurts on another level and the horror each time Rowan the ship a dream an illusion I didn’t brea#the fact she’s worried about if she gave up the keys then Terrasen better be kind to her now or else#Not real. the fact it’s almost a comfort to see him in horror because at least she knows it’s a nightmare with Arobynn#that’s why the little folk also worked because Maeve doesn’t know that part of the story to twist in the first place cause she isn’t an hei#the way Rowan is already there rubbing her back waiting for her on the run Fenrys is right he’s all that’s keeping her#but even in the nightmare Fenrys is there please don’t make the name Rowan calling out what’s going on in reality no fire please#new blisters for a new body oh my heart breaks every time it’s giving white pig inn vibes babe got the braid back she’s trying but he knows#his gaze was unfaltering-which one said had dreams?-I miss the easier Mistward days#truth-the way Fenrys and Aelin are both finally honest that their not okay-she is one of her people-their brain talks are back#yes elide learning where marks-the lions tawny stare- oh Elide & Lorcy#HER court-better at a distance-what had Maeve done to her magic?-graveyard shift-they know-the fact he shifts for her so they can talk#the lil Lorcan jokes lol this cadre of hers-it’s also Fenrys magic-she knows Maeve is off-the power difference-no not another attack-hurry#but Aelin could walk away from it-her vs Maeve-bitch going down in the flames of the true queen bb#Her former master gave her a half smile. Even Sam held out better than this.#So pushy. Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me#We could start a secret society-for people who don't sleep well. As long as Lorcan isn't invited I'm in.#Rowan is the only reason you're not limping everywhere.
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addicted to you | spencer reid x reader
Spencer isn’t inclined to be affectionate with you. He’s a socially awkward germaphobe, and you’re perfectly fine with it. However, being three months into your relationship, you can’t help but want more. Once Spencer gets a taste, he wants more too. A lot more.
part 1 | part 2 - insatiable
wc: 6.1k, rating: explicit/18+
tags/warnings: established relationship, first times, virgin!spencer, early seasons spencer, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering praise kink, morning wood, morning sex, sex in unconventional places (like, not in public but not the bed lol), cunnilingus, creampie, implied multiple orgasms
a/n: no excuse for this insane fic but i was strangely inspired by a post i saw on twitter that i wanted to put a lighthearted (and horny) spin on. i definitely felt crazy writing this and i feel crazy posting this now so i sure hope you enjoy this insanity! (p.s you can also find this fic on ao3!)
You don’t mind that Spencer isn’t touchy. You understand, with Spencer being a germaphobe and a little socially awkward, that he isn’t inclined to kisses on the cheek or holding your hand. You’ve only been dating for three months, and he’s already getting better at doing these things, which makes your heart sing.
Spencer is sweet, willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. He used to shy away from your touch, but he’s gotten more comfortable with you. He lets you hold his hand when you’re out on a date, or he’ll kiss you chastely out in public. He lets you drape yourself over him when you’re sitting on the couch together watching a show, his arm around your waist to pull you in close.
While you can understand Spencer’s hesitance towards public displays of affection, due to his awkwardness and anxieties about germs, you’re surprised he hasn’t initiated anything more in the privacy of his apartment (or yours). You’re starting to itch for it, something more, your attraction to Spencer Reid simply too overwhelming for it to simply be sweet and innocent anymore. Your body craves him desperately, because he’s so lovely and so fucking handsome. You’ve caught yourself staring at his hands more than once.
Tonight, you decide you’ll get what you want. You’re going to fuck Spencer Reid.
With your head buried in his shoulder during movie night, your hand runs down his body, getting dangerously close to his crotch – he jumps up off the couch, almost comedic, and stares at you like your touch had burned him. He looks positively freaked out.
“Spencer,” you say, very confused that he’s not into this. What kind of man doesn’t like his girlfriend initiating sex? Hell, what kind of man doesn’t like sex?
“I just–” Spencer pauses, like he’s struggling to find the words. “I can’t. Not right now, I–”
“Hey, it’s okay.” You assure him. “We don’t have to. Ever, if that’s what you want.”
His eyes widen again. “No! I want to, just– It’s difficult, right now.”
You cock your head slightly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Spencer frowns slightly, seeming to know that talking about it is the most rational thing to do, but it’s not like that makes him want to do it. “Well, I– I’ve never done it before.”
Your mouth falls open, just a little, and you look up at him. While you don’t mean to judge, it certainly isn’t surprising. Spencer was fourteen when he was starting university, and his general awkward demeanour and extreme nerdiness would likely rule out any sexual encounters for him during his time in college. Spencer’s line of work would clearly make it difficult for him to maintain a relationship – you definitely lucked out with getting to date him – and he’s too much of a softie for one night stands. So, Spencer Reid being a virgin at twenty-seven definitely checks out.
“That’s okay,” you say softly. “It’s totally normal.”
Spencer’s lips press into a thin line. “Well, you know it took me a while to get used to being affectionate with you, so I think–”
“Being intimate with someone else is going to be a hurdle you’ll need time to cross, too?”
Spencer looks up at you, eyes wet, looking at you like you’ve read him like an open book. He whispers, “Yeah.”
“That’s okay,” you repeat, even though you’re trying to come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to fuck Spencer Reid tonight. “I’ll– We’ll take it slow, if you want to try.”
“Yes, please.” He has a small smile on his lips as he looks up at you. “I– We could try doing something tonight, too. I just– I wasn’t expecting it earlier. I’m sorry for pushing you off like that.”
You shake your head, reassuring him that you aren’t offended by it by any means. Then, you ask, “You’re sure you want to try? Tonight?”
Spencer nods, as he reaches for your hand. He holds it gently, resting it on his thigh. “Yeah. I haven’t– It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone, but I want to, with you.”
You lean in to kiss his cheek gently. “I’m glad you trust me.”
His eyes are soft and syrupy when he meets your gaze. “Of course I trust you.”
You squeeze Spencer’s thigh before pressing your lips to his, the familiarity of kissing Spencer making you both ease up a little more. Your kiss is gentle, sweet, just like every other kiss you've shared, but you let your hand slide up his thigh as you kiss him, and you can feel Spencer tensing up under your touch. You squeeze his thigh to reassure him, and you feel Spencer wriggle underneath where you're leaning your body weight on him to loosen up.
Your hand skirts over his crotch, a hardness under your palm that makes you feel somewhat proud of yourself. Spencer’s breathing is heavy as he keeps kissing you, and keeps letting you touch him. You think he’s so cute. You just want to make him feel good.
You push the waistband of his sweats down, tugging him out of his pants. His cock is the same shade of red as his cheeks, his shyness turning you on extremely.
He doesn’t look down at himself, where you’re holding him – instead, his eyes are intently focused on your face. You don’t push him about it, instead leaning forward to kiss him as you start to stroke his cock.
This time, it feels desperate. Spencer kisses you with more fervour, like a fire’s been lit within him, the pleasure running through his veins almost like liquid courage as he kisses you deeply. You’re more than happy to be doing this, letting Spencer lick into your mouth while you jerk him off. You appreciate the weight of him in your hand, imagining him inside of you – but perhaps you’re getting ahead of yourself.
“You can touch me, Spence,” you say, in between Spencer kissing you fervently. His hands have been cupping your face, but otherwise he seems awkward with them. You pull back slightly, and while it’s adorable that he’s still holding your face sweetly, you drag his hands down to your chest, in the oversized t-shirt you’d stolen from Spencer’s drawer. “Like this.”
Spencer’s large hands cup your breasts through the shirt perfectly. He squeezes tentatively. You bite your lip as his palms brush over your nipples, as he manhandles you just a little. It’s more force than you’re used to from Spencer, kneading and squeezing and feeling you, and that makes your head spin.
Daringly, Spencer’s hands slip under your shirt, as he leans back in to kiss you. You feel his calloused hands on your skin as he feels you up, making you shudder. His touch isn’t demanding nor pushy, simply exploratory as he feels your soft skin under his fingertips.
Your arousal is pumping through your system, Spencer’s gentle submissiveness like a drug you can’t kick. The more you touch him, the more he reacts; touching you more, whimpering and gasping against your lips, into your neck.
“Come on, baby,” you coo in his ear, your hand speeding up on Spencer’s hardness. He’s leaking pathetically, wet in your palm, and he squirms underneath you.
“I’m– It’s too–” Spencer cuts himself off with a helpless whine, like he can’t control himself. His hands grip your waist tight. “Please–”
“Mm,” you hum sympathetically, while you thoroughly enjoy seeing Spencer like this. “Wanna cum like this, baby?”
Spencer’s breathing hard. He can’t get the words out, but he shakes his head. You slow your strokes, to an excruciating pressure on his length. “No? Then tell me, Spence.”
“Inside you,” He gasps, eyes squeezed shut.
You absolutely should not let Spencer fuck you for the first time on his couch, but he’s desperate and your resolve is steadily crumbling. “You– You’re sure?”
“Please,” Spencer gasps, his eyes pleading with you helplessly.
So, you pull your hand back and push your shorts off instead. Your panties come off in one fell swoop, and you sit back onto the couch with your legs spread. Spencer’s eyes are wide and his lips are parted as he looks at you, takes the sight of you in.
Then he’s like a baby deer, standing up and fumbling to get his sweatpants off. You can’t help but giggle at his awkward movements, in his excitement and eagerness to get to touch you, to get to fuck you. He’s quick to get between your legs, his hardness nudging at your entrance already.
“Mm, not yet, Spence,” you hum. You reach for his hand, taking his wrist as you guide his fingers to your clit. “You know what to do, right?”
He turns his wrist so his fingers – God, his fingers – are poised almost elegantly above your clit. He presses down and starts to circle his fingers against you. You gasp.
“Thought you didn’t– oh– Didn’t have much experience,” you gasp. You hold onto Spencer’s forearm tight, throwing your head back as Spencer pleasures you.
Spencer huffs out a laugh. “I might not be experienced, but I’m not a prude– I remember the… stuff I’ve seen. Eidetic memory and all.”
“Stuff,” you laugh. “I’m sure the porn you’ve watched must’ve helped, darling.”
He slips his fingers into your wetness with an unsurprising ease, considering how turned on you are by him. He hits spots inside you you’ve never thought were possible to reach, but they make electricity zip up your spine. You moan as he crooks his fingers into you, rocking them in and out with a wet squelch.
Spencer grins at you. “You were saying?”
“You’re a cocky bastard, you know that?” you huff, your tone teetering between awfully turned on and mildly annoyed.
“You like it,” Spencer says, assured of himself, and you smile, because you really do.
“My love,” you moan, as Spencer presses his fingers into you, back out. “You should try fucking me now.”
Spencer’s fingers are still inside of you, and his eyes are wide as he looks up at you. “You think so?”
You smile at him. “If you think you’re up for it.”
You mourn the loss of Spencer’s fingers, but as he’s mumbling to himself and lining his cock up with your entrance, you can only coo at how adorable you find all of this. And how turned on you are, but that’s more than obvious to the both of you by now.
He looks to you, like he’s looking for reassurance. You nod. Even in the silence, he’s gotten the confidence to push his cock into you, the thickness of his tip breaching your hole. You gasp as you stretch around him, your cunt making space for him as he slides in, excruciatingly slow. “Spencer–”
Spencer lets out a whine as your tight heat engulfs him, his length swallowed up by you as he sinks deeper into you. “Oh, my God–”
“Just like that, baby,” you moan, your leg hooking around Spencer’s leg to coax him forward, closer to you. “Fuck.”
“Do I– When should I–” Spencer gasps, unable to form a coherent sentence with the pleasure swimming through his bloodstream.
“You can start moving when you don’t feel like you’re going to blow your load if you breathe the wrong way,” you joke, but Spencer does seriously look like he’s going to finish any second. “Hey. Deep breaths, baby.”
Spencer’s brows are furrowed and his eyes are squeezed shut as he breathes in hard, in through his nose and out through his mouth. He’d told you to do that when he’d helped you through a panic attack one time, and while you feel bad that he feels so nervous about all this, it’s extremely amusing to you right now.
“Look at me,” you say, trying your best not to laugh. “You’re doing great, love.”
Spencer pulls his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes looking to you for validation.
“So good for me, darling,” you coo, your hand on his hip, while your thumb draws little circles into his skin. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah,” Spencer shudders, voice high-pitched and a little breathy. “I– You feel really good.”
“Yeah? It’ll feel even better when you start moving, sweetheart,” you hum. “You think you can do that for me? Slow, out then back in.”
Spencer whimpers, nodding, and he takes another deep breath in. His hands on your waist, he pulls out halfway before pressing back into you, and he moans so loudly your ears ring. “So– So tight, you–”
“That’s good, yeah? Feels good?” you coo. “Come on, baby. More.”
Spencer rests one of his arms on the back of the couch, holding himself steady and getting him that much closer to you. He starts to thrust in and out, starting off slow as he finds a rhythm.
His thrusts are erratic, but you’re so wildly turned on and it still feels amazing, because it’s Spencer.
Spencer is frantic, desperate, bracing himself against the couch as he fucks into you. Maybe pounding into you is a better phrase to use, because he’s fucking you like a madman, till the couch is squeaking under both your weight. You cry out, feeling Spencer drilling into you – and it feels so good.
“Oh, God,” Spencer whines. “You– It’s so good, oh–”
“Yeah, baby?” You rock your hips along with him, burying Spencer deeper into you. You clench so each thrust is a little tighter, and each time Spencer fucks into you, he moans a little louder.
Amidst Spencer’s whines and pretty noises, you watch his face morph with pleasure, feeling assured that he’s enjoying this as much as you are. In fact, he’s probably enjoying this more. As you’re lost in your train of thought, admiring Spencer’s gorgeous face, you’re startled when you feel Spencer’s load inside of you, hot and slick. His hips flush against your ass, Spencer shudders as he rides out his orgasm, body trembling from the force of his pleasure.
“Oh, Spence,” you giggle, a little dizzy from how turned on you are, from watching Spencer lose himself just like that. You reach up to cup his face, your thumb gentle on his cheek. “Was that good?”
“Oh,” Spencer mumbles, seemingly brought back to reality. He pulls back, taking the sight of you in. “I’m– I’m good, I’m sorry–”
“Don’t be,” you say. “You’re so cute. It’s so hot.”
“I mean, you are too, but– But you haven’t–”
“You wanna make it up to me, then?” You smile, gentle and warm and Spencer nods like he’s eager to please you.
You kiss him while he pulls out, replacing the thickness of his cock with two fingers, which fit into you easily. Like before, Spencer presses his fingers into you, slick and wet and squelchy. Spencer curls them and fingerfucks you like a pro, like he’s done this a hundred times. With his face pressed into your shoulder and your arms slung around his neck, Spencer fucks you on his fingers until your toes are curling and you’re screaming his name. You cry out as you orgasm, shaking as Spencer fucks you through it.
You’re almost embarrassed when you finally come back to your senses, no longer reeling from the intensity of your orgasm. Spencer is kissing your jawline sweetly, his clean hand stroking your hair.
“Hey,” Spencer says softly, somehow knowing you needed to hear him. He parrots you from earlier, “Was– Was that good?”
“So good, my love,” you murmur into his shoulder. Then, after a quiet moment, “I thought you needed some time to get comfortable with being intimate.”
Spencer pauses for a moment, like he’s pondering it, before he says, “I know. But for you, I think I’d do anything.”
That’s all Spencer manages to get out before you kiss him again. It’s tender and sweet, the intensity behind your kiss no longer lustful but full of adoration and love. You feel like you could sob right now, but you manage to hold it back.
Spencer gets into the shower with you, which you’re surprised by, but his hands are soft on your body as he cleans you up. You shampoo his hair for him, even though he has to lean forward a little so you can reach.
You end up falling asleep in Spencer’s bed, curled up in his arms.
You don’t dream at night, but when you wake up with a hardness poking against your thigh and Spencer’s gentle snoring in your ear, you think you might be.
In your dreariness, you reach behind you, the angular sharpness of Spencer’s hip bone under your palm. He’s warm, cuddled up against you, and the tickling of his breath on your neck tells you that this isn’t a dream.
“Spence,” you whisper, shaking him slightly. You watch as he blinks himself awake, drowsy as he comes to focus on your face. “Hey.”
“Good morning,” Spencer says, his voice rough with disuse. “What’s up?”
“You are,” you smile, a little too pleased, as your hand snakes down toward his crotch.
He squeaks at the contact, your soft hand on his hardness, “Um, sorry about that.”
“Don’t be,” you laugh. “Had a good dream?”
He pulls his lower lip between his teeth. “About you, yeah.”
“Wanna tell me about it?” you goad, wiggling your eyebrows.
Spencer’s cheeks somehow get even redder than they already were, but he shakes his head. “I want– I want to have sex, though.”
Your eyes widen. “Now?”
“Do you have the time for it?” He asks, sheepish. “I– I want to fuck you again.”
Your cheeks flush at Spencer’s sudden crudeness. You think about what Spencer could’ve possibly dreamt up, wonder how Spencer could possibly be confident enough to tell you straight up that he wants to fuck you. That phrase probably hadn’t been in Spencer’s lexicon until about twelve hours ago – while Spencer was smart – a literal genius – his innocence was completely understandable.
“We have time,” you exhale, looking back into his eyes after looking at the clock. “I only have to be at the office in a couple of hours.”
“Good,” Spencer says, leaning in to kiss down your neck. His hands are frisky already, slipping underneath your shirt. Spencer splays his hands over your stomach, before reaching up to cup your breasts in his hands.
“You like touching me like this, don’t you, baby?” you chuckle breathlessly, already feeling weak in the knees from the way Spencer holds you. “Mm, I’m surprised.”
“Why is that?” His words are slightly muffled against your skin, too busy kissing you to make himself sound coherent. His hands are rough against the softness of your skin, and you moan from the way he’s handling you.
“Yesterday you couldn’t even tell me you wanted to fuck,” you croon, thoroughly pleased. “And now you’re touching me like you know what you’re doing. It’s so hot.”
“I– I just can’t get enough of you,” Spencer admits, his earnest words turning you on extremely.
“Now you’re just horny,” you laugh, feeling Spencer’s hand slide over your underwear.
“Mm, you’re so wet right now too,” Spencer murmurs in your ear, his warm breath and raspy voice sending a shiver down your spine. Where’d he learn to talk like that? You squeeze your thighs together, but that doesn’t stop Spencer from feeling the wetness between your legs, soaking through your panties.
“All for you, baby,” you gasp, as Spencer’s fingers slip past the band of your underwear, deftly stroking your clit. “Spencer–”
“Can I fuck you? Please?” He pleads, breathy, his hips already rutting forward against your ass.
His eagerness makes your head spin, his sudden confidence in the realm of sex surprising – maybe it’s cockiness, but you still find that stupidly attractive – but it is certainly welcomed.
“Yes, Spence, please,” you shudder, the word yes leaving your lips enough for Spencer to pull your underwear down, over the swell of your ass. He fumbles with his own boxers for a moment, but soon you feel his hard, leaking tip pressed to your butt. He rocks his hips back and forth, desperately seeking whatever friction he can get.
Lost in his own pleasure, Spencer is quick to slide his cock between your legs, the wetness from your cunt making it easy for him to rut into the tight, slick space. Like this, his length rubs up against you, the head of his cock nudging at your clit with every thrust of his hips. It feels primal, Spencer so far gone that he isn’t even fucking you proper, content with the slick, tight space between your thighs and your pussy. You wonder if you need to tell him, but Spencer’s groan in your ear is shaky as his tip catches on your hole.
His arms wrapped around you, both of you moan as Spencer finally sinks his cock into you. He slides in too easily, so easily you almost think he’d hadn’t meant to do it. Maybe he hadn’t, but you’d gotten there in the end, where you both need to be; Spencer buried inside of you.
It’s so different from yesterday, the angle when he presses into you from behind so exhilarating, so good. He’s just as desperate as last night, but there’s a sort of reckless confidence in his movements. His hands slide under your shirt to grab at your tits again, rocking his hips while he practically gropes you. It’s so hot your head spins. You feel like you’re going to explode.
“Spencer!” You cry out, your voice ripping its way out of your throat. Pleasure surges through you like electricity, Spencer’s thick cock hitting all the right spots from this angle. His eager desperation turns you on to no end, as you let him take you from behind. While you weren’t expecting lazy, morning sex at all, the intensity and desperation he fucks you with right now makes you think you could get used to this.
Spencer’s whine has your head spinning. His hips don’t slow, more rhythmic than yesterday but still as needy. “Fuck, you feel so good.”
“Yeah?” You coo breathlessly. You’re so fucking turned on, and every time Spencer drives his hips into you you can hear how wet you really are. “You’re doing so good for me, Spence, fucking me so good.”
“You like it? Is it good?” Spencer gasps, always so eager to please you.
“So good,” you moan. You’re still sore from last night, but the pleasure Spencer is giving you right now overrides all of that. You would love for him to wake you up like this every day. “I’m close, baby.”
“Oh,” Spencer says, like he’s surprised you’re already getting off on this, on him– “What do you need me to do?”
“Just keep going, Spence,” you gasp. “Keep fucking me just like this.”
Spencer’s hum is breathy, high-pitched. Somehow, his grip on you gets tighter, holding you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. The force he fucks you with is so wildly arousing. You’re so enamoured, and so turned on.
Your orgasm creeps up on you, slow and steady as it bubbles up inside of you. You squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the dirty, rough way Spencer fucks you, and then you feel his soft lips on your neck again. He isn’t properly kissing you – more like slobbering all over your neck, but you cry out as he does so, thighs pressing together as you reach your orgasm. You’re shaking through it, clenching around Spencer as you come, and Spencer’s gasping as your tight pussy pushes Spencer over the edge too. You feel his come inside of you, cock twitching as his load spurts hot and heavy into your cunt. You sob, feeling Spencer slow his thrusts as he rides out his orgasm.
“Holy shit,” you say, your voice coming out ragged and hoarse. You feel like a different woman, being fucked ruthlessly by your boyfriend in his bed for the first time. You can’t get enough.
“I love you,” Spencer says quietly, earnest. It makes you shudder.
“You’re crazy,” you laugh, taken aback at how Spencer’s returned to his gentle, soft self. “I love you too, you madman.”
“I can’t resist you,” he murmurs in your ear, the vibrations of his raspy morning voice almost soothing.
You turn around to face him, Spencer still holding you in his arms. He smiles warmly at you, and you lean in to kiss him. “You’re so cute.”
“Wanna go again?” he asks, somewhat timid.
Your eyes widen. You try to hide your grin, but it doesn’t work. “Someone’s desperate, huh?”
Spencer flushes a gorgeous red. “Maybe a little?”
“I have to get ready for work,” you sigh, actually a little bummed that you can't spend all day fucking Spencer. “Maybe tonight?”
“Okay,” Spencer smiles. “Want me to drive you back to yours?”
You grin. “You’re the best!”
Work is relatively uneventful, numbers and Excel spreadsheets; and all you can think about is Spencer’s rapid change in demeanour over the last twelve hours, his innocence torn away by you, leaving behind a horny, insatiable man. You’re kind of proud of yourself for that.
So, you can’t blame yourself for being excited to get back to Spencer’s. Lately, you’ve been staying over more, your apartment simply a place to house your wardrobe. Maybe you’ll talk to Spencer about living together.
“Hey, Spence,” you say, pleased when Spencer kisses you as he greets you at the door.
Even with all the probable germs on you from being out all day, Spencer’s surprisingly clingy, hands on your waist as he stumbles in behind you, as you set the takeout you’d brought over on his dining table. Spencer leans in behind you, kissing your cheek then down your neck.
“Hey, what’s with you, baby?” you chuckle, very much enjoying the way Spencer’s hands slide down your waist to your hips, grabbing the meat of your thighs through your dress pants.
“Missed you,” Spencer answers simply, but even you can tell there’s something in his voice that implies he’s looking for something more.
“I’m sorry I had to leave you alone the whole day, my love. I’m sure you must’ve found something to busy yourself with, though?” You hum, teasing. You have a good idea of where this is going.
Spencer’s quiet for a moment, so you turn to look at him. His lips are pressed into a thin line, looking almost nervous, and his cheeks are flushed red. Spencer finally presses his body close to yours, and you feel it–
“Spence,” you grin, “Someone’s happy to see me.”
“Thought about it– Thought about you all day,” Spencer mumbles. “You promised.”
“What did I promise, baby?” you egg him on, eager to hear him say it, even though you definitely know what he’s going to ask.
“That we would do it again tonight,” he answers, but you shoot him a look. “You said we would have sex again tonight.”
“Twice in one day? I don’t know, baby,” you pretend to sound disinterested.
Spencer looks at you with wide eyes. Respectful as ever, he clears his throat. “Please? If you’re tired we don’t have to, but I really want to. Only if you want to, though. This involves both of us, I don’t want to impose–”
You giggle, reaching to hold his hands. “God, you’re perfect.”
“What–?” Spencer barely gets the word out before you’re kissing him. He’s happy to do so, holding your face gently, matching your energy perfectly. You feel his cock pressing against you.
“I turned you into a sex fiend,” you laugh, between kissing him, “And you’re still thinking about making sure I’m into it too.”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer’s brows furrow slightly, like he can’t comprehend how he could be into it if you weren’t too. “And I- I’m not a sex fiend, I just–”
Smiling, you whisper sultrily, “I think you should take me right here, baby.”
“Oh–” You cut Spencer off with another kiss, and he squeaks as you reach for his half-hard cock through his sweatpants. You’re positively delighted that Spencer’s like this, for you.
Spencer kisses you deeply, leaning forward until the small of your back hits the edge of the table. His hands coming up to your ass, he lifts you up, getting you to lay back on the table. You gasp, as Spencer kisses down the column of your neck, his hands making quick work of the buttons of your dress shirt. His lips are soft against your skin, at the swell of your breasts. Your shirt gets pushed off your shoulders. You feel him unhook your bra with a surprising ease, tossed aside, and then his hands are grabbing your tits like they were made for him. His thumbs brush over your nipples, a little forceful as he kneads at you, and your head is spinning.
“Spencer,” you moan, as he kisses down your stomach, unbuttoning your pants to reveal your soaked-through underwear. He smiles up at you, his messy mop of hair a lovely sight.
“Can I…?” Spencer’s big brown eyes dart down to where you’re soaked, then back up at you.
Your eyes widen. “Yes. If you want to.”
Spencer grins. “Of course I want to.”
His fingers are gentle on your hips as he pulls your panties off, wasting no time in spreading your legs so he can get between them. Your eyes are wide as you watch him, feeling kind of self-conscious over how eager he is to be doing this. Knelt between your thighs, he lifts one of your legs and swings them over his shoulder. You can feel his stubble on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his nose nudging against your clit. His tongue comes up, wet and hot, as he tastes you for the first time. “Spencer–”
He presses his face impossibly closer, more urgent in eating you out. You watch as his eyes flutter shut, his jaw flexing as his tongue works on you, and you’re trembling already. Spencer’s extremely good with his mouth, and you’re surprised at how good he’s making you feel, considering he likely hasn’t done this before. The sounds of his mouth are wet and squelchy and so obscene, and you would feel almost embarrassed, were it not for how into this Spencer seems to be too,
With your hands in his hair, you cry out when Spencer’s tongue circles your swollen clit, jolts of pleasure sent through your body. You can’t think straight when Spencer’s face is buried between your legs, eating you out like he was made for this. All you can think about is how gifted Spencer is with his tongue, and how you wish you could do this all night.
“Please, love,” you moan, “Need you to fuck me.”
Spencer hums in approval, the vibrations between your legs making you jump. He makes a little wet slurping noise before he comes back up, and you feel your cunt throb when he looks up at you with his lovely, wide brown eyes, and his chin wet and messy with your slick. Spencer wipes his face with the back of his hand, and you’re so turned on you might just explode.
“I love you,” you tell him earnestly. “I think this is the craziest thing I’ve ever done. I love you.”
“What is? Having sex on my dinner table?” Spencer quips, as he sets your legs down and stands back up. He has a cocky grin plastered on his face.
You roll your eyes playfully. “First time for everything, right?”
Spencer nods, smiling, before he leans forward to kiss you sweetly. You watch as he pulls his sweatpants down, his cock bobbing up, red and angry and rock hard. You feel yourself salivating at the sight, but decide that he needs to fuck you right now.
“Spencer,” you mewl, feeling breathless as you watch him wrap a hand around himself, stroking his length. Concentration is written all over his face and it makes you want to kiss him.
“I’ve been wanting to do this all day,” Spencer says, pressing his cock forward until he’s lined up with your entrance. It’s so tantalising, the way the blunt head of his cock threatens to slip into you. You’re so wet and so loose for him, and you need him inside of you now.
You gasp when he finally pushes in, his thick cock splitting you in half as he slides into you. The pressure is so perfect, the slow draw of his hips as he takes care not to rush, wanting to take care of you. Even with all this still being new for Spencer, he still focuses on you, puts you first. You’re not sure if you’re swooning over him, or the way his cock fits inside you perfectly.
You don’t need to encourage him to start moving. He rocks his hips slowly, somehow already familiar with your body, and makes you feel like you could explode with pleasure.
He leans forward, pressing his body to yours as he kisses you. Like this, Spencer presses into you deeper, fucks you slow and deep and loving. The edge of the table is absolutely digging into your back, but you don’t care when every sense of yours is filled with Spencer, getting to taste and touch and hear him. You taste yourself on his tongue, hear the sloppy way he thrusts into you, your skin burning wherever he’s pressed up against you.
Burying his face in your neck, Spencer pants in your ear, hot and heavy as he fucks you, giving you everything you need. Your head is swimming with arousal, as Spencer presses you against the table and fucks you like his life depends on it. “You feel so good, fuck, so good–”
“I’m so close, baby,” you cry out, the pace absolutely ruthless as Spencer fucks you. You didn’t think his stamina would be this good, considering your boyfriend’s lanky stature and abhorrence towards exercise. You certainly wouldn’t mind doing this kind of cardio with him more often. “Please, Spence–”
“Let go, I– I’m here for you,” Spencer stumbles over his words, but he’s so sweet that you’re losing yourself, your orgasm crashing into you like a tidal wave. You scream as you reach your peak, your toes curling while Spencer fucks you through it, shaking as pleasure and arousal zips through your body. Spencer’s hips stutter as the tightness of your pussy has him reeling, too close too quickly.
While his hips keep a steady pace, you’re feeling loopy as Spencer continues to fuck you. You hold his head close to you, kissing his forehead as you murmur, “You’re so hot, Spence. Made me come so quickly, and you held out for me? So good for me, baby. Are you close?”
Spencer whines, a pitiful noise in the back of his throat. “Please, I’m so close, need you–”
“I’m right here, baby,” you coo, stroking his sweat-matted hair sweetly. You’re so enamoured with him. “Gonna cum inside me, Spence? Fill me up with your–”
You don’t even get to finish your dirty talk before Spencer is moaning, coming inside of you. It feels like he’s released so much inside of you, hot and messy as he fucks you through his own high. His chest heaves as he pants, trembling as he reels from the intensity of his orgasm. Spencer’s hips slow to a stop, and he mouths at your neck mindlessly until he seems to get his bearings back. You imagine you must look a mess, sweat and spit all over you, your makeup from a long day of work likely running by now.
Spencer gets up off of you, so both of you have space to catch your breaths. You feel Spencer slip out of you with a slick ‘pop’, and feel his release trickle out of you just moments after. You stifle a quiet moan, but when you look up at Spencer, his eyes couldn’t possibly leave the sight between your legs. His lips are parted slightly, pupils blown wide, as he watches you drip with his release. You feel Spencer’s cock, resting against your inner thigh, twitch slightly.
“Woah there, cowboy,” you chuckle, out of breath. “Give me a minute to recover.”
His eyes practically twinkle when they dart up to look at you. He’s like an excited puppy as he asks, “Again?”
You shake your head, laughing, and sit up to kiss Spencer again. “Maybe we could try something new?”
Spencer grins, nodding eagerly. It definitely seems like he’s down for whatever, as long as it’s with you.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencerreidenjoyer writes
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#wowie zowie vani is feeling bad again <3 yaaaay <3 /s#anyway. i am. literally so stupid. so dumb!#all i want is attention and love and yet i shove people away and pull them back in this stupid hot-and-cold ritual#somehow people put up with it but like. of course i have like zero irl friends. i never go out. i never talk to people#i sit alone at meals. i sit by people i'm friendly with in classes or as close to alone as i can. i spend most of my free time in my dorm#hell i got rejected by the job i applied to and my first thought was 'lol just like everything else <3'#sigh. and then i'm the dumb one for still holding on to a little bit of hope bc one of my confessions i wasn't outright rejected on#so there was always this tinge of 'maybe i still have a chance' but that was so fucking stupid of me#i never have a chance. but its whatever. i can't blame anyone but myself for keeping my own hopes up despite all the evidence#i can handle it though. bury the tinge of grief in my schoolwork and stress. ignore people. pretend its all okay#i've deluded myself into thinking i was fine before. i can do it again. i can ignore the loneliness. the little bit of hurt when i see#other people having what i want. i'm good at that. sooo good at it.#maybe i don't dislike some of the people i think i do. i just envy them. they get to have everything i want.#i guess that's just what having zero self-confidence or self-esteem does to you though. ah well#its all my own fault anyway. i'll be fine.#and hey. maybe no one wants me because i'm just damaged goods. but that's a whole other can of worms#i know i'm tainted and unlovable but man. i can hope sometimes.#anyway. im not allowed to drop out and i'm not allowed to hurt myself and i'm not allowed to die. gotta remember all that at the minimum.#vent in tags#anyway. don't worry abt me if you read this far. i'm okay. mostly.
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