#what purpose does it serve? absolutely nothing
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nightravenxd · 1 day ago
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Idk what I'm writing but I'm going with it
Might make this a series ngl
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
TFP!Megatron x reader
₊˚.⋆⁺₊ Small/big hate
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Me when I see that one person:
He also reminds me of a cat in this picture
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Being stuck in the sharp clutch of the Decepticons was not on your bucket list. The only reason it happened was because while heading home, and being at the wrong place at the wrong time, a battle broke out between Megatron and Optimus when they crossed paths.
Megatron assumed that you were related to the Autobots, but he soon realized he messed up big time when he saw that you had no clue who they even were. And the only thing keeping you alive was purely being bait for the Autobots.
You found out that trying to escape was useless since you were stuck on a ship, a thousand feet and more up in the air, and you didn't want to set the record for the highest cannonball ever made.
So you stuck where you are. Whether you liked it or not. Though you did give an earful to them when you got the courage to, but mostly because your bladder felt like exploding after holding everything in for 3 or 4 hours straight, you lost track of time.
Everything you needed was put in Megatron's room, because to "keep an eye on you better", but frankly you'd rather be put anywhere else than in the room of this ugly, big, shark like teeth's room.
Often, he paid no mind to you, leaving you to be snuggled up in a makeshift blanket which was just a rag, but it served its purpose. But sometimes he would tease you or threaten you with his claws and cannon.
When he does that, you curl up in the blanket, the only thing providing some sort of shield against him, even though it's highly ineffective. Nothing guarantees you that he won't slit your throat with his claws or blow you up, because you're merely a pawn in whatever twisted game he was playing.
But now you were glad he wasn't in the room, he went out earlier to do some work. But you knew once he comes back he'd be in one of two moods. Either pissed off, or rather calm in an almost eerie way, probably because he's tired since you've seen him sitting by his desk next to your makeshift bed, reading or writing something, or just sitting/laying on his bed, staring into space.
You knew it was night since you felt tired, tired from doing absolutely nothing here. So you laid down and covered yourself with your blanket and tried to fall asleep, hoping to wake up back at home, that this was only a very long nightmare.
But as you almost fell asleep, the door opening to his room made your eyes shot open. You didn't need to shift much to see him come to view, the door closing behind him and locking as he sat down on his bed.
You decided to try and fall asleep again, and you also heard Megatron lay down on his bed. Thinking that he would be silent and try to fall asleep, you didn't concern yourself.
But oh boy were you wrong.
He kept moving around, and the metal against metal stabbed your ears, he often huffed or groaned. He wasn't usually like this, he was never this restless and it pissed you off. Can't you get five minutes of sleep here?!
When you had enough you sat up. "Are you trying to keep me awake?" You snapped, glaring at him. You already hated him enough for abducting you, but now ruining the only peace you had? That won't do.
His eyes flashed to you, seeing you sitting up, glaring at him, made his optics narrow. "Careful with your tone." The fact that he was telling you to be careful, made your hatred for him rise. "I won't while you keep trashing around like a restless child!" You pointed your finger at him.
You saw him get up and make his way towards you. He then grabbed your face between two digits, his claws digging into your skin. "I don't like repeating myself."
He squeezed your face tighter, feeling his claws break your skin. You then pushed against his digits, trying to ease the hold he has on you, only for him to squeeze a bit more.
"It hurts!" You tried to mask your fear by being loud and "angry". But the whimper you let out after you said that couldn't be contained. You were sure he knows that you're scared, and he probably likes it.
Finally he let go of you, and you dropped onto your bed. Your face hurts, but you're glad your jaw wasn't dislocated. "I will do worse if you ever raise your voice at me like that ever again." His voice was cold, his eyes, too.
You didn't like it, you didn't like how everyone was cold to you, even your own parents when you were a kid. You only let out a small noise of agreement to his words.
Noting what he did now, he will do worse if you ever raise your voice at him again or defy him. Maybe it was your loveless childhood, but him acting like this only made you want to try and warm him up a bit, maybe if you pleased him and listened to him, maybe he would be a little less cold...
By the time you looked up again, he was already on his bed. Trying to sleep again. You stared for a while, and noticed his frown slowly deepen until it couldn't anymore and he opened his eyes again.
You wondered if bots had insomnia, but if they do, Megatron certainly had it. But you decided to lay down again, your back facing him. Then you felt a bit of blood trickle down to your lips from your cheek. You then wipe it off with your sleeve, not caring if it will be stained of blood tomorrow.
But you couldn't sleep, because of what happened not long ago. The adrenaline you felt was making you unable to fall asleep. You then turned to face Megatron. And saw him rubbing his face, in the same predicament as you.
You don't know what possessed you to speak. "Do you need help?" Your voice was low, but in the quiet room he was able to hear it and he turned to look at you. He got up and went to the desk where you were laying, sitting down on a chair he pulled out from underneath the desk. He then grabbed you and put you beside his hand, then propped up a datapad so that you could see it.
He then showed a picture of a small hill with a cottage-like house on it. It was only the small hill that was clear from the trees surrounding it. The rest was a dense forest.
You recognized the place, sometimes you would come there, put a blanket in the grass and enjoy the scenery. You found it by accident, while taking a walk in the forest you found that clearing. The cottage was abandoned, but it was well kept. It just needed some cleaning, but you never had the time or motivation to do it.
You felt eyes on you, his eyes. You looked up, and he was looking at you, thinking, a distant look in his eyes, though they seemed dimmer than usual. "I go there often." He looked back at the picture on the datapad, shoving whatever thoughts he had away.
"I go there sometimes too." It was honestly a beautiful place, but still surprised that he visited it too. You were glad the cottage had a friend other than just you. "Why do you go there?" To be honest, you wanted to know more about the big guy, maybe he wasn't so cold after all.
"It makes me come up with ideas about poems." Now that was something you weren't expecting, he likes poems? Writes them? Out of everything you thought he liked, writing poems was not one of them.
"How many poems have you written?" You felt yourself relaxing, letting your guard down at this lighthearted conversation in the middle of the night, at least you think it's the middle of the night.
"I lost count, but I stopped when the war started. Only recently have I written more." Now that's intriguing. "Can I see some?" You leaned forward, eyes on the datapad. He exited the image and found a poem he's written. But it was all in Cybertronian so you couldn't read it.
But even if you can't read it, you're sure it's great. Judging by how much is actually written on there. When you looked back up at him again, his eyes were half closed, shoulders slumped. He was tired, tired from a lot of things.
He suddenly got up and grabbed you with him. He laid down and put you on his chest, right where the Decepticon symbol was. You heard a light hum under you, it was probably his heart, or whatever they have.
When you looked up, his eyes were closed, and he was about to fall asleep. While thinking, you realized that maybe he just didn't want to be alone, battling for so long, having no one by his side to put his trust into. It's tiring, maybe that's why he couldn't sleep, he felt lonely.
Tiredness washing over you as well, you laid your head back down on his chest. The warmth and the hum of his spark lulled you to sleep, the first time you actually felt calm in your sleep during your time here.
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ghoul--doodle · 25 days ago
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Why does instagram keep showing me shitty over gorey superhero cartoons go away
#I literally couldn’t care less#if your story is gorey become you think its cool and edgy or it’s there for shock factor#then news flash it’s just shitty#like. okay. I didn’t need to see a slow motion shot of this guy being torn to shreds as he runs through this other guy who’s Made Of Metal#and I did not need to see that other guy literally ripped in half#what purpose does it serve? absolutely nothing#I don’t know if this is a shitty take or what but#I just feel like. if it doesn’t serve a purpose. then it’s not needed you know it’s just pointless and you’re just doing it to be gross#you can make the point you’re trying to make 99% of the time just as impactfully#but you don’t need to show off the internal organs of multiple human beings#i’m not saying never use gore ever- i just think too many stories lean on it as a crutch to gross people out or be edgy or whatever#I watched a movie recently and it was effectively just gore because they were trying to be edgy#and it would’ve been fucking FINE without it#like. especially horror movies. that pisses me off real bad.#if in a horror movie. all you’re relying on is The Gross. and not The Horror. then you have missed the point.#some movies are designed to be like that so they’re whatever#like final destination and shit like that#but y’know when the focus is on something like the paranormal and a monster and you’re just like!!! look!!!! here’s a person being slowly-#fuckin. grinded into a paste for 4 Minutes With Nasty Sounds And Visuals#then we’ve lost the focus and it’s more just these people being dipshits than it is a scary movie#I’m rambling.#point is!!!! gore can be used but I feel like unless it Serves A Purpose it’s useless and just gross#stop using it to be edgy or make your story ‘cool’ it’s not#you’re just boring actually#apologies for the tag ramble#If you like these shows good for you! genuinely! i will not be partaking
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tattelatte · 6 months ago
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Dramaworld 1x04
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aethersea · 10 months ago
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another thing fantasy writers should keep track of is how much of their worldbuilding is aesthetic-based. it's not unlike the sci-fi hardness scale, which measures how closely a story holds to known, real principles of science. The Martian is extremely hard sci-fi, with nearly every detail being grounded in realistic fact as we know it; Star Trek is extremely soft sci-fi, with a vaguely plausible "space travel and no resource scarcity" premise used as a foundation for the wildest ideas the writers' room could come up with. and much as Star Trek fuckin rules, there's nothing wrong with aesthetic-based fantasy worldbuilding!
(sidenote we're not calling this 'soft fantasy' bc there's already a hard/soft divide in fantasy: hard magic follows consistent rules, like "earthbenders can always and only bend earth", and soft magic follows vague rules that often just ~feel right~, like the Force. this frankly kinda maps, but I'm not talking about just the magic, I'm talking about the worldbuilding as a whole.
actually for the purposes of this post we're calling it grounded vs airy fantasy, bc that's succinct and sounds cool.)
a great example of grounded fantasy is Dungeon Meshi: the dungeon ecosystem is meticulously thought out, the plot is driven by the very realistic need to eat well while adventuring, the story touches on both social and psychological effects of the whole 'no one dies forever down here' situation, the list goes on. the worldbuilding wants to be engaged with on a mechanical level and it rewards that engagement.
deliberately airy fantasy is less common, because in a funny way it's much harder to do. people tend to like explanations. it takes skill to pull off "the world is this way because I said so." Narnia manages: these kids fall into a magic world through the back of a wardrobe, befriend talking beavers who drink tea, get weapons from Santa Claus, dance with Bacchus and his maenads, and sail to the edge of the world, without ever breaking suspension of disbelief. it works because every new thing that happens fits the vibes. it's all just vibes! engaging with the worldbuilding on a mechanical level wouldn't just be futile, it'd be missing the point entirely.
the reason I started off calling this aesthetic-based is that an airy story will usually lean hard on an existing aesthetic, ideally one that's widely known by the target audience. Lewis was drawing on fables, fairy tales, myths, children's stories, and the vague idea of ~medieval europe~ that is to this day our most generic fantasy setting. when a prince falls in love with a fallen star, when there are giants who welcome lost children warmly and fatten them up for the feast, it all fits because these are things we'd expect to find in this story. none of this jars against what we've already seen.
and the point of it is to be wondrous and whimsical, to set the tone for the story Lewis wants to tell. and it does a great job! the airy worldbuilding serves the purposes of the story, and it's no less elegant than Ryōko Kui's elaborately grounded dungeon. neither kind of worldbuilding is better than the other.
however.
you do have to know which one you're doing.
the whole reason I'm writing this is that I saw yet another long, entertaining post dragging GRRM for absolute filth. asoiaf is a fun one because on some axes it's pretty grounded (political fuck-around-and-find-out, rumors spread farther than fact, fastest way to lose a war is to let your people starve, etc), but on others it's entirely airy (some people have magic Just Cause, the various peoples are each based on an aesthetic/stereotype/cliché with no real thought to how they influence each other as neighbors, the super-long seasons have no effect on ecology, etc).
and again! none of this is actually bad! (well ok some of those stereotypes are quite bigoted. but other than that this isn't bad.) there's nothing wrong with the season thing being there to highlight how the nobles are focused on short-sighted wars for power instead of storing up resources for the extremely dangerous and inevitable winter, that's a nice allegory, and the looming threat of many harsh years set the narrative tone. and you can always mix and match airy and grounded worldbuilding – everyone does it, frankly it's a necessity, because sooner or later the answer to every worldbuilding question is "because the author wanted it to be that way." the only completely grounded writing is nonfiction.
the problem is when you pretend that your entirely airy worldbuilding is actually super duper grounded. like, for instance, claiming that your vibes-based depiction of Medieval Europe (Gritty Edition) is completely historical, and then never even showing anyone spinning. or sniffing dismissively at Tolkien for not detailing Aragorn's tax policy, and then never addressing how a pre-industrial grain-based agricultural society is going years without harvesting any crops. (stored grain goes bad! you can't even mouse-proof your silos, how are you going to deal with mold?) and the list goes on.
the man went up on national television and invited us to engage with his worldbuilding mechanically, and then if you actually do that, it shatters like spun sugar under the pressure. doesn't he realize that's not the part of the story that's load-bearing! he should've directed our focus to the political machinations and extensive trope deconstruction, not the handwavey bit.
point is, as a fantasy writer there will always be some amount of your worldbuilding that boils down to 'because I said so,' and there's nothing wrong with that. nor is there anything wrong with making that your whole thing – airy worldbuilding can be beautiful and inspiring. but you have to be aware of what you're doing, because if you ask your readers to engage with the worldbuilding in gritty mechanical detail, you had better have some actual mechanics to show them.
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dieseldame · 4 months ago
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𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗺𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮’𝘀 𝗚𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗗𝗼𝗴 𝗪𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗕𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲:
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You don’t serve Ambessa Medarda—you belong to her. A blade sharpened by her hand, a weapon unleashed only when she deems it necessary. And when she calls you back, you come. Not because you want to, but because you must.
“ Her voice cut through the chaos of the battlefield, low and commanding: — Enough.
You froze mid-swing, the blade in your hand slick with blood. Around you, the enemy staggered back, their fear palpable. But it wasn’t them you feared. It was her.
Ambessa stood at the edge of the carnage, the crimson banner of Noxus billowing behind her like a storm. Her gaze locked onto yours, sharp as the sword in her hand.
— Heel. — she said, and you obeyed. Because that’s what a good dog does.
Your loyalty to Ambessa is absolute—but it’s not without its own jagged edges. She saved you from the gutter, pulled you out of the mud and gave you purpose. But she also knows how to keep you in line.
“ — You’d be nothing without me. — she said once, her voice a razor slicing through the air.
You didn’t flinch. — And you’d be dead without me.
The corner of her mouth twitched—approval or amusement, you couldn’t tell. — Careful, — she warned, her tone dripping with danger. — You’re biting the hand that feeds you.
— Maybe the hand should stop teasing. — you shot back, your lips curling into a feral grin.
When she unleashes you, there’s no holding back. You don’t just fight—you decimate. You are her wrath given form, a storm of blood and steel that leaves nothing standing.
“ The first man fell before he even saw you move. The second barely had time to scream. By the time the last one dropped, your hands were slick with blood, the taste of iron thick in the air.
Ambessa watched from a distance, her expression impassive. When it was over, she approached, stepping over bodies as if they were nothing more than broken tools.
— Messy, — she said, her voice calm. — But effective.
You wiped the blade on your sleeve, smirking up at her. — Isn’t that what you wanted?
She didn’t answer. She didn’t have to. The weight of her gaze was enough.
For all your ferocity, there’s no question who holds the leash. She doesn’t need to shout or threaten. A single look from Ambessa, and you fall in line.
“ She leaned in close, her breath warm against your ear. — Do I need to remind you who’s in control?
Your pulse quickened, but you didn’t falter. — You could try. — you said, the defiance in your voice a thin veneer over the truth.
Her hand wrapped around your chin, firm but not cruel. She tilted your head, forcing you to meet her gaze. — Good dogs don’t bite. — she murmured, her tone laced with warning.
You swallowed hard, your throat dry. — Good dogs protect their masters.
Her lips twitched into a smirk. — And that’s why I keep you.
Your relationship isn’t just about loyalty—it’s about survival. You’d die for her, and she knows it. But deep down, you know she’d do the same for you.
“ — Why do you keep me around? — you asked once, the question slipping out before you could stop it.
Ambessa didn’t answer right away. She took a sip of her wine, her gaze distant. Then she turned to you, her expression unreadable.
— Because every blade needs a sheath, — she said finally, her voice soft but firm. — And every storm needs a calm.
It wasn’t the answer you expected, but it was the only one she’d give.
There’s a fire between you, unspoken but ever-present. Every glance, every touch lingers just a little too long, charged with a tension that neither of you will name.
“ Her hand brushed against yours as she handed you the blade, and for a moment, the world stilled.
— Careful, — she said, her voice low and deliberate. — That’s a dangerous weapon.
You met her gaze, your breath hitching. — So are you.
She didn’t reply, but the corner of her mouth twitched into a smirk. The air between you crackled, heavy with something more dangerous than steel.
Ambessa doesn't need to command you often. You know her expectations, and you exceed them without question. But when she does pull your leash, it's always at the exact moment your bloodlust threatens to consume you.
“ The enemy commander fell to their knees, gasping, clawing at the gaping wound you'd left in their chest.
— Kill them. — your instincts roared, muscles tensed and ready to strike again.
— Stop.
Ambessa's voice cut through the red haze like a blade, and your hand froze mid-swing. You turned to her, chest heaving, fury still burning in your veins.
— Not yet, — she said, stepping closer, her gaze locking onto yours. — Let them crawl. Let them beg. We'll show them mercy when it suits us.
Your grip tightened on your weapon, your jaw clenched, but you didn't move. You didn't need chains to be bound to her will-her words alone were iron.
You are more than her protector-you are her shadow, ever-present and unrelenting. Where she goes, you follow, your presence a silent promise of violence.
“ The nobles whispered as she entered the hall, their eyes flickering to you as you trailed behind her like a ghost.
— Is that really necessary? — one of them sneered, gesturing toward you. — This is a banquet, not a battlefield.
Ambessa smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. — A good general knows that every room is a battlefield.— she said smoothly.
Her hand brushed against yours as she passed, the briefest touch grounding you. You didn't speak-you didn't need to. Your silence was louder than any threat.
Your relationship is a constant push and pull, a power struggle where the stakes are as high as the tension between you.
“ — You think you could lead without me? — you challenged, your voice low and laced with defiance.
Ambessa's eyes narrowed, her presence filling the room like a storm. — Careful. — she warned, her tone a blade at your throat.
— Or what? — you pressed, stepping closer, your pulse pounding.
Her hand shot out, gripping your chin, forcing you to meet her gaze. — Or you'll find out what happens to dogs who forget their place. — she said, her voice calm but seething with authority.
You didn't pull away. You couldn't. The power in her eyes held you captive, and for all your bravado, you knew she'd already won.
Every scar on your body is a testament to your loyalty to the battles you fought for her, the blood you spilled in her name. But some wounds cut deeper than flesh.
“ — You shouldn't have taken that blow. — she said, her voice hard as she stitched the wound in your side.
— I couldn't let them touch you. — you replied, your tone matter-of-fact.
Her hands stilled for a moment, and you thought you saw something flicker in her eyes-anger, or perhaps something softer.
— Fool. — she muttered, resuming her work. But her touch was gentler than before, her fingers lingering just a little longer on your skin.
For all the battles you've fought, the fiercest one is the unspoken tension between you. Every glance, every word is a spark, threatening to ignite the storm that rages beneath the surface.
“ — You're reckless. — she said, stepping closer, her voice a low growl.
— And you're controlling. — you shot back, your breath hitching as she invaded your space.
Her eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, the world narrowed to just the two of you. The air crackled with tension, heavy and electric.
— If I didn't control you, — she murmured, her lips brushing against your ear, — you'd burn the world down.
— Maybe the world deserves it. — you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
ㅤㅤㅤ
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ssa-dado · 4 months ago
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Annoyingly Yours - SOS
Aaron Hotchner x fem!bau!reader Genre: fluff, angst though it's more like ♫ LOATHING, UNADULTERATED LOATHING ♫ Summary: At 33, Aaron Hotchner prides himself on discipline and control... until you become his deskmate. With quirks that seem to clash against his precision, you’re nothing short of maddening. Even your breathing seems to provoke a visceral reaction in him... surely out of frustration, right? Not out of... attraction?! Warnings: None, just wanted to clarify the story is set in 1998, before Hotch became Unit Chief (Gideon and Rossi were charge instead). Word Count: 4.4k Dado's Corner: Based on this ask sent by the loml @c-losur3. Made a few tweaks because I can. And because I’m evil. Enter Aaron “convinces himself he hates you while secretly nursing a big fat crush” Hotchner. A timeless classic. Hope you like it.
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“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.” - Søren Kierkegaard
Written in blue gel ink on a neon pink sticky note, it sat smugly atop the pristine case file Hotch had spent hours perfecting the night before.
No signature, no admission of guilt.
Just a bright, audacious square of defiance left to mock him.
In all his years as a profiler, he’d never encountered a case this easy to solve. Hell, he wished his active investigations were even half as simple as this. Because only after approximately half a second of analysis, the profile of the Unsub was crystal clear:
Female. Early 20s. A twisted sense of humor. A fascination with philosophy, particularly the existential, though occasionally dabbling in absurdism. Works in law enforcement - specifically, the BAU. Only writes in blue ink because she needs her words to stand out as much as her personality does. Likely has a compulsive habit of arriving to work early but never early enough to beat him to the office.
And there she was, the Unsub, strolling through the entrance just as the clock struck 6:01.
“Good morning, Hotch,” you said without even glancing in his direction, as if you somehow sensed his irritation wafting across the bullpen.
You were the Unsub.
His polyglot, sarcastic, sticky-note-vandalizing deskmate.
Case closed.
“Why did you leave me this?” he scoffed as his fingers carefully peeled back the neon pink square from the folder.
The glue resisted just enough to be infuriating, threatening to leave a smear on what he privately considered his masterpiece - a report so cleanly written that it might one day serve as the gold standard for FBI rookies.
And now, his file, had been vandalized.
It bore your mark.
“Educational purposes,” you said airily, as you dropped into your chair facing his own, a complete lack of regard for the disruption you caused just by existing in his vicinity.
He despised it.
That your desk had to face his, ensuring that every time he so much as lifted his gaze, he was met with the perpetual source of his unease, was nothing short of torture.
Why couldn’t you be like his last deskmate? That moron at least had the decency to leave him alone unless absolutely necessary.
The most small talk he’d ever inflicted was the occasional, self-congratulatory monologue about whatever barely-legal college girl he’d managed to con into bed last Friday night with the oh-so-irresistible revelation that he was FBI.
At least after spewing his bullshit, the guy would shut up and return to his self-inflicted misery, no doubt haunted by the limitations of his pitifully small brain.
You, instead, were far too smart - too sharp for your own good, really - but still your humor was as broken as his own. You had the same, if not more, level of drive. And for some inexplicable reason, you shared his obsession with arriving early.
It was maddening.
It was his thing - his small act of rebellion against a world that had always expected more from him than he could give.
His hours of solitude before the office filled with noise, before the madness and the demands of others hijacked his peace. Those few precious hours were his escape, his refuge, where he could think, where he could breathe.
But no, you had to show up too. Every damn morning.
“Educational purposes?” He echoed flatly, regretting, for the hundredth time, that he ever encouraged you to speak before his second cup of coffee.
“Yes, Hotch. I’ve never seen you use a sticky note,” you retorted, as if your reasoning were completely rational and not mildly absurd. “So, naturally, I assumed you didn’t know they existed. Thought I’d be kind of me to introduce you to the concept.”
“You’re hilarious,” he deadpanned, the sarcasm sliding off his tongue with a sharpness that matched the ache now forming at his temples. “I know what sticky notes are. I don’t use them because they’re impractical. They always leave glue residue, it’s annoying.”
Since for some reasons he felt the need to emphasize his point, he held up his sacred notebook - a worn, leather-bound treasure he treated like an extension of himself. “That’s why we have these. To take proper notes. Like agents. Not middle schoolers.”
But you didn’t even flinch.
Instead, you leaned back in your chair, the movement slow and casual, yet just enough to make him irrationally nervous that you might tip over. “They don’t leave residue if you close the case fast enough. The glue won’t have time to dry. But I guess if it takes you ages to solve something, that’s not really the sticky note’s fault, is it? Sounds more like a problem with the agent.”
His jaw locked so tightly it was a wonder his teeth didn’t crack.
The nerve of you.
He hated how his body betrayed him like this, the faintest tingle at the back of his neck, the way his pulse faltered and then stuttered, because his decision to remain silent didn’t let his voice do the stammering instead.
Oh, he wanted to argue.
Desperately.
To lay out an irrefutable case demonstrating, that the fault lay not in the man who would undoubtedly climb the FBI ranks faster than anyone dared imagine but in the cheap adhesive some factory somewhere had slapped onto your stupid pack of hot pink sticky notes.
And all he wanted, absurdly, was to prove you wrong.
Not just wrong. Spectacularly wrong.
But instead of offering a retort worthy of his reputation, he exhaled sharply, forcing his jaw to unclench.
He leaned forward slightly, his dark eyes locking onto yours, narrowing into the kind of look that could silence seasoned agents, suspects, and even Gideon when necessary.
Yet somehow, it had no discernible effect on the 21-year-old profiler sitting across from him - the one who’d been in the BAU for barely three weeks and already seemed impervious to his most withering glares.
As if in response to his futile attempt at dominance, your smirk widened, as though you could hear the unspoken debate raging in his head. Worse, it looked like you were enjoying the fact that you’d managed to rattle him.
And God help him, he felt rattled.
“How many of those sticky notes do you have?” he finally asked.
Your response was almost immediate.
“As many as you need,” you said as you pulled open your top-right drawer – the drawer that had come to symbolize everything he couldn’t categorize about you.
It housed your so-called “essentials”: pencils, a collection of elastic bands you had an infuriating habit of launching at him when the mood struck, and the same six markers in various states of decay - probably relics from your high school days. There was a stapler in there too - one he had to admit, with no small amount of shame, he borrowed from time to time.
But then there were the other items. The ones his categorically organized brain couldn’t quite justify sharing space with stationary essentials.
A box of tea - the kind of black tea with a scent so strong it practically sucker-punched him from across the desk every time you brewed it, chocolate bars that mysteriously appeared and vanished like contraband…
…and, as it turned out, the dreaded sticky notes.
They were hidden beneath the tea box, of course - because why not force him to think about the assault on his nostrils that would begin precisely three hours and twenty-seven minutes from now?
You lifted the box, revealing the fluorescent pink squares of doom, a shade so bright it only made the pain going on in his head since the first moment you opened your mouth today even worse.
“I only have hot pink, though,” you announced, holding the sticky notes up.
“…And?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Am I not allowed to use hot pink? Do you have a problem with that?”
“On the contrary,” you said, your lips curling into that infuriating smirk again. “I’m impressed. I thought you’d whine about a color demasculating your sacred reports.”
He felt his pulse thrum in his ears at that.
He almost - almost - wanted to tell you that you were looking at a man currently wearing pink socks under his neatly pressed slacks. A pair that had, unfortunately, turned pink during his first solo attempt at laundry in college and had somehow managed to stay in his rotation all these years, as a reminder that even the best could make mistakes.
But he didn’t.
Not because he was embarrassed - he wasn’t - but because he knew you’d twist it into something else entirely, another jab, another laugh at his expense.
And the last thing he needed right now was more of this.
Whatever this was.
Instead, he picked up the hot pink sticky notes, tapping them against his palm. “I’ll take them, we’ll see if it’s really the agent’s fault."
By mid-morning, to his reluctant surprise, the sticky notes had become one of his favorite tools - not just for their undeniable practicality but because they gave him the perfect weapon to deliver a dose of your own medicine.
And you deserved it. Absolutely, unequivocally deserved it.
After all, it wasn’t him launching elastic bands at his deskmate with sniper-like precision at ungodly hours, the faint thwack cutting through the quiet bullpen as the band landed squarely in his lap, while he was clearly trying to work. This, from the same person who’d managed to fail their firearm certification twice
It wasn’t him leaning subtly - though not subtly enough - to sneak a peek at his case files because your own workload wasn’t challenging enough to hold your attention. Still too new to the team, you’d only been sent into the field once, a prisoner of the bullpen and endless paperwork. Yet, despite the monotony, you remained undeterred, tirelessly determined to prove your worth at every possible turn.
And it certainly wasn’t him disrupting the flow of the day by asking if his coffee needed refilling when he was clearly already immersed in work, only to return moments later with an extra steaming cup - and a piece of chocolate from that drawer - placing it without a word on his desk like it wasn’t an unnecessary intrusion. Because you were just kind like that.
It wasn’t him rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, the fabric bunching unevenly around his elbows - a motion so predictable it had practically become your tell when you were wrestling with a puzzle more stubborn than the agent that solving it.
Nor was it how your forearms inevitably transformed into impressionist paintings of smudged blue ink, the accidental artwork often bleeding onto the cuffs of your shirt, leaving the unfortunate soul seated across from you utterly derailed from whatever he’d been about to jot down, unable to look away.
It wasn’t him who dressed like that.
Had a brain like that.
A voice like that.
A face like that.
No.
It wasn’t him. It was you. And that was the problem.
Because for all his irritation, for all his carefully constructed disdain, he couldn’t stop noticing. Couldn't stop looking. Couldn't stop… what exactly?
…Right.
Couldn’t stop scribbling down his meticulously crafted revenge, which he would plant squarely on your desk the moment you wandered off to refill your coffee.
“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” – Benjamin Franklin
Thought you might enjoy something to ponder while you’re busy ignoring the typo you made on page 7, line 15 of your report.– A.H.
He placed the sticky note precisely in the center of your desk, ensuring it was impossible to miss. Satisfied, he returned to his seat, feigning an air of indifference as he watched you from the corner of his eye.
It didn’t take long.
He didn’t look up when you arrived, but he heard it - the subtle shift in your breathing, the gasp as your eyes widened. The pages of your report rustled as you flipped through them, and the sharp exhale that followed told him you’d found it.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered, more to yourself than him.
Never had a sound been so soothing to his ears.
And yet - he should have known better.
He barely had time to blink before the loud thud of your hand slamming onto his desk jolted him upright. He looked up to find you standing over him, your eyes gleaming with a smugness so infuriating it made him want to wipe it off your face.
His gaze darted down to the sticky note you’d slapped in front of him, and -
Oh.
Hotch stared at it. Then stared some more.
There, in all its crude glory, was what could only be described as a "creative interpretation" of a very specific part of the male anatomy, staring back at him from the bright pink square.
“The proportions are all wrong.” He deadpanned.
And then you, with all your infuriating composure, leaned on his desk.
Close. Too close.
"Oh, I’m sorry, Agent Hotchner," you said, raising a brow. "If you want it anatomically correct, maybe next time you should hand me a reference photo."
His brain short-circuited.
For a horrifying moment, he couldn’t think of a single word, but only at the implication of what you said… you couldn’t mean that… right?!
“Not yours!” you blurted out, your hands flailing in a frantic attempt to erase the moment. “I didn’t mean- I wasn’t asking for- I just-”
"And I certainly wouldn’t-" he cut in, his own voice breaking due to the sudden clumsiness of his own tongue.
But the damage was done.
Your cheeks turned the same vivid shade as the neon pink sticky note still plastered defiantly on his desk. He felt his own face burning, and the back of his neck prickled uncomfortably, like his own body was actively rebelling against him.
Both of you were way too stunned to say anything that wouldn’t somehow make it worse.
Hotch’s mind raced for a way to defuse the situation, but every possible response felt like it would either escalate the embarrassment or reveal… something he wasn’t ready to confront.
And then, mercifully - or perhaps not - your survival instincts kicked in.
“I’ll just… uh… get more coffee,” you muttered, backing away from his desk like it might physically combust if you stayed a moment longer. You turned on your heel, clearly aiming to escape the bullpen as fast as humanly possible. “Do you want some?”
He blinked, thrown off by the question. “Yes, thanks. Black,” he replied automatically, his voice still a little stiff.
As soon as you were out of sight, he allowed himself to crumble. His left hand dragged across his face, fingers pressing against his temples as if they could massage the ridiculousness of it all out of his brain.
Stupid. The whole thing was so stupid.
A slip of the tongue, a misstep, blown completely out of proportion.
And yet, here he was, sitting at his desk, undone by a pink sticky note and a fleeting moment of awkwardness.
With a low, frustrated groan, he let his hand drop, hitting his forehead against the heel of his palm in a futile attempt to snap himself out of it.
Focus. He needed to focus.
He stared down at the open case file in front of him, its neatly typed words mocking him with their clarity.
He knew they were legible - he’d written them himself.
But right now, the letters blurred into meaningless smudges on the page, overridden by a far more vivid image - your face.
Flushed. Wide-eyed. Flustered.
This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous.
Just a joke, he reminded himself. Just a stupid, ill-timed joke.
And yet his chest still felt tight, his pulse erratic, like he’d run up the stairs two steps at a time.
His gaze flicked to the sticky note still sitting on the edge of his desk, as bright and offensive as the moment it had first been slapped down in front of him. Without thinking, he grabbed it, crumpling it in his fist.
There. Problem solved. Gone. Out of sight, out of mind.
He could move on.
But then his hand stilled, his grip loosening as he stared at the crumpled ball of paper.
His pulse still raced, his mind still spiraled, and all because of… this.
A rational man would throw it away. Rip it into pieces, toss it into the trash, and let it become a fleeting, forgotten memory.
He should throw it away. He would throw it away. Any second now.
But his hand didn’t move.
Instead, and against every shred of common sense he prided himself on, Hotch smoothed the crumpled edges as best he could and opened his desk drawer, tucking it far into the back, behind a few other things he pretended not to care about but couldn’t quite get rid of.
Hidden away, out of sight.
Safe.
From what? From you? From himself? He didn’t have the answer, and he didn’t dare linger on the questions.
Instead, he closed the drawer with more force than necessary, ignoring the faint tremor in his hand - but even as he turned his attention to the files in front of him, the pink still lingered in his periphery, an afterimage burned into his mind.
Of your flustered face.
Adorable.
So adorable that, over time, that sticky note became far from the only item inhabiting that drawer.
Aaron Hotchner - the very man who had once scoffed at your so-called “miscellaneous essentials” drawer - now secretly had one of his own.
A collection of odd, seemingly random things: items you had given him, thrown at him in moments of boredom, or those ridiculous little tokens you’d started exchanging lately that blurred the line between teasing and genuine thoughtfulness.
Because that’s what deskmates did, right?
They shared. They joked. They exchanged these odd little tokens of camaraderie that somehow made the job less crushing.
Except this felt like something more.
Maybe you were more than deskmates. Maybe even… friends?
And he wasn’t the only one who noticed.
Gideon, had been starting to observe the two of you like he was profiling a particularly complex unsub, his sharp, knowing glances making Hotch feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.
Then there was Rossi, who took an almost perverse delight in making his observations less subtle. "Synergy," he'd say with a pointed smirk, the kind that made Hotch’s jaw tighten. "It’s a rare thing, you know, finding compatibility like this. Magic, really."
They saw something. Something neither of you was ready to admit.
And ominously - no, deliberately - they decided to exploit it.
Because that’s what bosses did.
The BAU was chronically understaffed, perpetually fighting against the outdated perception that profiling was glorified guesswork. The pay wasn’t anything to write home about, either. Most cases were worked from behind desks, saving the budget for the bigger field assignments.
But what the BAU lacked in glamour, it tried to make up for in partnerships - teams so seamlessly synchronized they became the backbone of the unit.
Apparently, you and Hotch had become one of those teams.
What had started as two distinct desks - two well-defined territories with clear boundaries - had slowly morphed into one chaotic shared space.
A 5’x5’ no-man’s-land where it was impossible to tell where your workspace ended, and his began.
Like now.
The oversized map of your current case sprawled across the desk, forcing you both into closer proximity than either of you would normally allow.
You were perched on his side of the desk, tracing potential paths and patterns, completely absorbed in piecing together the unsub’s geographical profile.
He told himself he was focused. Jotting down victim locations. Marking points on the map with  little red magnets.
Totally immersed in the task at hand.
Except he wasn’t.
Because the occasional brush of your arm against his felt electrifying in a way it had no right to be.
Because your voice, low and steady as you murmured your observations, felt less like background noise and more like the only sound in the room.
And yet, this closeness, this seamless partnership, felt natural.
Effortless.
Distracting as hell.
So distracting that by the time he placed the last magnet, he realized he’d miscounted. One victim left, and no magnet to place them.
“Hotch,” you said softly, your eyes scanning the map, “It looks like we might’ve missed a pin for Daniel Hardman.”
How diplomatic of you.
How unnecessarily kind, considering it was entirely his fault.
He’d miscounted the magnets - a mistake caused by a momentary lapse in focus when, mid-count, you casually asked him if he wanted to go watch the first Star Wars prequel with you next year.
It wasn’t just the advance planning that sent his mind reeling - though the thought of you penciling him into your future like that was disarming enough - it was the fact that you remembered he liked Star Wars.
A detail you had no business remembering, and yet, somehow, you did.
“Yes, sorry. There are more in my drawer,” he said, standing quickly to fetch them himself. But before he could stop you, you were already at the drawer, pulling it open.
“It’s the second one-” The words barely left his mouth before he heard the gasp.
“…from the top,” he finished weakly, already knowing what you’d seen.
There they were. Your tokens. In his drawer. Staring right at you.
The gun casing from the bullet you’d proudly handed him after finally earning your firearm certification on your third attempt. You’d declared, almost giddy, that you’d never be a burden to him again, and maybe it was his lessons, you’d added shyly, that had helped you finally overcome it. He wasn’t sure what had struck him more: the pride in your voice or the fact that you’d thought of him at all.
A framed solo photograph of the two of you from that year’s Thanksgiving spent stuck in the bullpen, drowning in case files while Rossi and Gideon insisted on a makeshift dinner with takeout. You hadn’t hesitated for a second, throwing an arm around him for the picture and leaning into him like it was the most natural thing in the world. For you, maybe it had been. For him, it had been anything but.
Every single elastic band you’d launched at him -143, though he’d never admit to counting.
A single stray hair tie - the one you’d used to tie his hair into a ridiculous fountain one day when his fringe had gotten so long it kept falling into his face. He’d left it like that the rest of the day, silently cursing himself for how much he didn’t hate it.
An unopened pack of hot pink sticky notes, the only color he now allowed himself to buy, though he’d never admit why.
And, of course, every sticky note you’d ever left him, arranged in chronological order - except for one.
The “caricature,” the crude drawing that had started his ridiculous collection. That particular sticky note hadn’t stayed long in the drawer. Somehow, it had made its way home with him, “inexplicably” framed and placed on his bedside table.
It now sat next to his alarm clock, the two most irritating objects in his life.
Both constant reminders of things he couldn’t seem to escape - one for its relentless insistence on dragging him out of bed every morning, and the other for how it made him feel every time he looked at it.
And now here you were, looking up from the drawer, eyes wide. “Hotch…”
He tensed, his pulse quickening with each step you took toward him… what were you doing?
Without a word, you opened your drawer—the infamous "essentials" drawer he thought he knew like the back of his hand.
Except this time, its contents had changed.
Because right on top, perched like a cherished keepsake, was a photo he hadn’t known existed.
Another one from that Thanksgiving night.
The one photo taken moments later, when you’d decided, in your infinite ability to wreak havoc, to joke about “capturing a moment” and had wrapped your arms around his head, holding him still as you planted a kiss on his cheek.
His expression in the photo was pure indignation, eyebrows furrowed in protest - though it also captured the deep rouge spreading across his cheeks.
“This one is my favorite,” you said, laughing as you held it up for him to see. “You’re so red in it, it’s hilarious.”
He stared at the photo, feeling the telltale warmth creeping up his neck, threatening to betray him all over again. His ears burned as he managed to mutter, “Never been kissed by a woman before.”
The words hung in the air for a beat too long.
You blinked, your laughter abruptly halting as your mouth fell open in shock. “Wait, seriously? Are you-?”
He sighed, cutting you off before your pity or disbelief could spiral out of control. “I was joking,” he said, voice flat and utterly deadpan. “I’ve been kissed by women. Multiple.”
You burst into laughter again, this time doubling over. “Oh my God! Why did you say it like that? Multiple! Hotch,” you said, gasping for air between giggles, “you’re killing me.”
“No,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he turned back to the map in front of him. “You’re killing me.”
You didn’t hear him, thank God - or if you did, you gave no sign. He wasn’t sure which would have been worse.
A moment later, you were back at his side of the desk, the missing red magnet in your hand. You held it out to him, your smile still warm, still lingering. “For the record,” you said, your voice softer now, “I think it’s kind of sweet. That you framed it, I mean.”
His hand hesitated as he reached for the magnet, his fingers hovering just over yours. Something so simple suddenly felt unbearably complicated.
Delicate.
He couldn’t seem to figure out how to take the magnet without brushing against your skin - not that he didn’t want to.
He just wasn’t sure if he should.
“It’s a good photo,” he said at last, his voice quieter than usual, his eyes flickering up to meet yours briefly before darting back to the map.
Safe. Neutral.
But you didn’t retreat.
If anything, your smile only grew.
“Yes,” you said, voice just as quiet. “It is.”
---
taglist: @beata1108 ; @c-losur3 ; @fangirlunknown ; @hayleym1234 ; @justyourusualash ; @khxna ; @kyrathekiller ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @mxblobby ; @oxforce ; @person-005 ; @prettybaby-reid ; @reidfile ; @royalestrellas ; @ssa-callahan ; @softestqueeen ; @theseerbetweenus ; @todorokishoe24
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seresinhangmanjake · 11 months ago
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He Will Hope
Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x reader
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Summary: Feyd is obsessed with his bride from the moment he sees her, but on their wedding night he finds out she might not feel the same. (Angst, but hopeful ending)
Warnings/Notes: Feyd POV, pre-smut and smutty-ish intentions (if that makes sense? idk, ignore me), instantly-in-love Feyd, unwanted marriage, baby(heir) talk, typos. Can absolutely be read alone, but also serves as something of a prequel to Do You Love? (same world, but big time skip), so I tried to kind of echo that with specific lines.
Words: 1500
Feyd-Rautha Masterlist
You’re so…beautiful. He didn’t expect a peace offering to be this perfect. Yes, he knew his bride would be a daughter of a Great House, but you are one of many sisters and Feyd did not imagine your father would send him the loveliest of his bunch. 
It’s a loveliness that has you sticking out like a sore thumb on Giedi Prime. Hair and makeup and wedding dress styled in the traditions of your home world glue all eyes to you as you walk down the aisle, and he likes that there is so much attention on you. It makes his inability to cease staring more acceptable. 
Harkonnens are not meant to be enthralled by their brides at first glance. Discouraged, even, from caring about their appearance at all. ‘Brides are meant for breeding,’ his uncle told him as a child, ‘It does not matter what they look like.’ But he was not told what to do or how to act in the event the bride makes his heart involuntarily skip a beat. 
Maybe if your heart was reacting in the same manner navigating this new feeling would be less intimidating, but the tears streaming down your cheeks suggest that's far from the case. You can barely look at him and he’s not sure you would be able to speak if it was required of you, but thankfully, verbal agreements are not part of marriage ceremonies on Giedi Prime. 
When he takes hold of your hand and slices your palm with his knife, you give no indication of pain. You are supposed to do the same to him but you seem nervous enough as it is, so he makes the three-inch long slash in his skin for you before pressing his palm against yours. The mixing of blood is a swearing of fidelity from husband to wife and wife to husband; a tradition and promise that wore down with time as concubines became more common. But he will not do that to you. You will be his one, his only, and if he can help it, he will be yours. 
He barely detects the words declaring you married. They're dull and bubbly in his ears as if he's sunk under the surface of his bath water because he's too focused on your mouth. Your plush lips are pink and plump and glistening, and he wants them. So he takes them before he's told to do so.
You taste different than the Harkonnen women he’s had. There is salt from tears, but something distinctly you seeps through. It's sweeter. A bit intoxicating. The kind of taste that collars and leashes the unruliest of men, and he wants more. Much more. But there are too many eyes, some of which are full of relief at the match finally solidified while others are prying and suspicious. If he keeps his lips on yours too long, questions will begin to form from certain witnesses—Does he like her? Does he want her? Can she be used? Can she control him?—and the answer will be plainly obvious.
When he breaks the kiss, your eyelashes flutter with the gentle opening of your eyes and he knows then that nothing—no convincing from advisors, no threats from his uncle, no hatred on your end—could ever have him willing to detach himself and use you for the sake of an heir only to discard you later. You are his wife now, you will be the Baroness upon his uncle’s death, and he will protect you from anyone who values you for the sole purpose of providing a child. 
He sees that your assigned servants have quickly learned to manage your hair and clothing. By the time they deliver you to him, the pins have been removed from the twist on your head, letting the strands hang loose to frame your face, and you’ve been unstitched from that heavy gown to be dressed in night clothes from your home. He provided you with a nightgown, so he wonders if wearing the thin dress was your choice or your parents' idea to make you undeniably enticing, but either way, it’s effective. 
What drapes over your body is nothing like the opaque blacks and straight lines of Harkonnen attire. It's intricate both in color and design; flowing fabric that shimmers when you make the slightest movements and, at the moment, does little to hide your shape and curves. 
As you stand in front of him, patiently awaiting instructions, he can only stare at what’s on display. Pebbled nipples, a plane of smooth skin down to your navel, your slit and the folds between your legs—he wants it all. All of you. Now. Here. Wherever he can have you. 
Rising from the chair where he’d been waiting, he dissolves the space between you. His arm snakes around your waist. His hand slides across your cheek to the back of your head. Lips slam into yours, chests meeting despite that sliver of fabric, and he tastes that taste again, instinctually feeling a need to lift his chin, bare his neck, and let you tighten that collar.
It takes you a few seconds but when your lips start to move, he kisses you harder, pulls you closer, weaves his fingers through your hair and lightly tugs. He guides you backward toward the bed, skin warming at the image of sliding the nightgown down your body. That warmth fans into pure fire and he can’t stop kissing you, can’t stop taking from you, collecting what little you’re willing to give him. Two of his fingers tuck themselves under one strap of the nightgown and begin to slip it down your shoulder. 
But then he stops. 
He stops because your lips freeze.
He stops because you're starting to shake under his fingertips.
He pulls back to look at you and it’s undeniable, so terribly undeniable, and he feels a bit ill. “You don’t want this,” he states. 
You don’t answer; you just stare up at him with those doe eyes that he can now see are full of fear, and his heart squeezes. His gut tightens. He suddenly has the urge to throw things, break things, watch things shatter to pieces because you don’t want him. His own wife doesn’t want his touch and he does not like this—not at all—but you’re scared, and he doesn’t like that even more. 
Sighing, he resets the strap on your shoulder, drops his hands from your body, and steps away. 
“I'll leave you alone,” he says. But as he passes by you, you grab onto his wrist. 
“We have to,” you rush out. “They'll know if we don't.”
He shakes his head. “They won't know anything that happens between us unless I allow it,” he tells you.
“B–But they expect an heir.”
“Yes. And eventually, we will have to produce one. That does not mean we have to share a bed tonight if that is not what you want, and it's clear that is not what you want,” he says a little too harshly. He isn’t trying to be snippy, none of this is your fault, but it hurts, and not in the way he enjoys.
You suck in a sharp breath as if preparing to argue, but then something shifts in your eyes. Instead, you say, “Where will you go?”
“The adjoining room,” he answers, nudging his head to the door on the opposite wall: the room for the concubines that he will never take. You turn to get a look.
“Oh,” you swallow. “O-Ok.” 
He grants himself a few more moments to study you, to soak in your soft and delicate features and the swollen lips he cannot have before he walks away, leaving you behind for the bed he had no intention of ever sleeping in. 
When he reaches the door, he glances over his shoulder to get one last look. You’re facing away from him, sitting on the mattress with your head low, your back arched forward and arms wrapped around your middle. You look small like that, slowly huddling into a ball, and he’d do anything to make it stop. Because you are his. His wife. His na-Baroness. He’s well aware he’ll fall for you in no time—it’s already begun—and he wants you to be happy with him. 
But you're not. And that already threatens the predictability of your future together. These foreign feelings he has for you are not guaranteed to be requited; something he isn't sure how to accept, and yet he may not have a choice. He cannot force your affection. He cannot demand you grow to love him. All he can do is try and hope that one day, he will win you over.
So that is what he does.
---
@avidreader73 @alwaysadreamingoptimist @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom @workof-a-rr-t
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mint-yooxgi · 6 months ago
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Kinktober Day 30 - Yandere!Fallen Angel!Seonghwa + Somnophilia & Body Worship
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Anonymous Said: Seonghwa from ateez. Consensual Somnophilia & Body worship. Yandere & fallen angel or guardian angel. A/n: I am SO sorry that this is late, life has just been a bit hectic lately. Again, it's Hwa, so I couldn't help myself. It's not as long as I was originally going to make it, but I like where it ends honestly. He's intense in the best ways imo, and I do really love how this turned out. I also have a yandere angel ateez series planned at some point where Hwa is an archangel, so I'm also really excited about that. It's heavily inspired by his Will To Power solo stage, so I hope you all can look forward to that at some point! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy! Warnings/Genre/Rating: 18+ MDNI - Smut, Mature, Established Relationship, Possession, Monster Features, Yandere, Blood mentioned in brief (not in a kinky way), Lots of religious metaphors, Overstimulation, Oral (fem. rec), Fingering (fem. rec), Squirting, Minor Dacryphilia (if you squint), There's a lot :) Word Count: 4,821 Kinktober 2024 Mini Masterlist
Park Seonghwa is a man of many emotions.
Well… technically he’s not a man, but there is no one in this universe that makes him feel more human than you. 
There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. You are his one saving grace in this hellish landscape called earth, and he will do anything to protect that fact. No one is off limits. Nothing is too much. For when it comes to you, you deserve nothing but the best this world has to offer. 
His best. 
Seonghwa will always make sure of that.
The water feels cool against his skin despite the steam rising through the air. One of his hands is braced against the stone tiles of the shower wall, letting the flow of water cascade down his back and pool around the drain. Red streaks against his skin, little rivulets creating vein-like patterns across his figure as he washes away the horrific events of the evening.
You can never know. You will never know. 
Seonghwa has spent his whole life guarding those most precious to him. Now, you’re the only thing left that matters.
You. Who still sleeps soundly beneath the thick covers of his duvet as he steps out of the bathroom a short while later. Your features rest in a soft expression of pure bliss, chest rising and falling steadily. The light of the moon only serves to make your skin glow, illuminating every inch of you that he has always loved more than anything else in this godforsaken world.
A pleased smile tugs at his lips, eyes shining with nothing but adoration as he observes you through the dark. Lightly, he fluffs his damp hair with the towel held in his hand, the one wrapped around his waist hanging dangerously low. Small droplets of water cascade down his chest which he is quick to wipe away.
After all, you’re expecting him to join you, and he hates to keep you waiting.
With his lips curling upwards into that all too familiar loving smile, he takes a step towards the bed. Large, fluffy wings emerge from his back, deep red in colour. As he fluffs the feathers lightly, he lets the towel fall from his waist. The other is quick to join the growing heap on the floor, knowing you’ll more than likely scold him in the morning for tossing the damp material in the middle of the room.
Sometimes, Seonghwa swears he does these types of things on purpose just to hear you scold him. The way you shake your head in exasperation, muttering about whatever it is he’s done this time makes him all giddy inside. It means you’re paying attention to him. It means you care.
Or maybe he just enjoys making things up to you in any and every way he can.
A massage here. Breakfast in bed there. Perhaps even you allowing him to get lost in that glorious heat that rests between your legs, making you shake in uncontrollable bliss.
After all, it is one of his absolute favourite pastimes.
Seonghwa thought he knew what it meant to worship something, or someone, wholeheartedly. That is, until he met you.
All of the time in the world is still too short of an eternity to be spent with you by his side.
The stars pale in comparison to you, for you hold entire galaxies in your eyes. Your smile warms his very soul each and every time he sees that glorious expression stretch across your face. All music sounds dull whenever the melodic symphony of your laughter filters through the air. Not to mention how strong and intelligent you are. 
Kind, witty, caring… The list of your perfections continues to grow everyday, and everyday he knows you is a blessing beyond his wildest dreams. Seonghwa could spend hours lost within the confines of your mind, learning everything there is to know about you, and so much more. Each new discovery is a revelation of the highest regard, and he strives to satisfy in every way.
Every word you speak is gospel, and he is your most devout follower.
Lifting the covers gently, Seonghwa slides into bed beside you. He’s extra careful to not disturb you, not wanting to accidentally wake you at this time. Still, he cannot help but shift closer, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. The way you subconsciously turn into him, snuggling deeper into his embrace only serves to make him smile.
Even in your dreams, you always know how to find your way home. To him.
Subtly, his arms tighten around you, placing a tender kiss to the top of your head. His wings wrap around you, encasing you in a soft red cocoon and ensuring your safety. Your comfort and wellbeing are his number one priorities, and once he knows you’re settled in his embrace, he fully allows himself to relax. 
Soon, his own eyes are fluttering shut, drifting off to meet you inside of your dreams.
A few hours later, Seonghwa is blinking awake. His head now rests on top of your chest, your arms cradling him to you in your sleep. 
Despite such a short bout of rest, he feels refreshed, having slept deeper with you safely wrapped in his arms. Gladly, he melts into your embrace, breathing in your scent and letting everything you completely surround him.
The moon still rests high in the sky, a gentle breeze drifting through the slight crack in the open window. The room is quiet, nothing but the soft sounds of your mingling breaths filling the space.
Seonghwa holds you tighter. Turning his head, his lips press tenderly against your chest, just above your heart. His hair tickles your skin, and you shiver lightly from his touch.
Peeking his dark gaze upwards, Seonghwa studies your features. Your brow seems to be furrowed slightly in discomfort, and a moment later, you squirm lightly beneath him. Your nails suddenly dig into the skin of his shoulders, a soft, muffled whimper escaping your lips.
Worry tugs at his features as he reaches a hand up to soothe your brow. He’s quick to cup your cheek, thumb brushing gently over your skin as he lifts himself slightly above you. Intently, he studies your face, searching for any signs of what may be the problem.
That’s when it hits him. You must be having a nightmare.
Just as he shifts his hand to your shoulder in attempts to wake you up, you let out a sound that has him freezing above you.
His name. You moan his name.
A smug grin tugs at the corner of his lips as he realizes what’s really going on here. Pride swells in his chest at the fact that he could make you dream of him like this, knowing how often he dreams of you. What serves to make this moment ever better is when you let out another small whimper, tightening your hands on his shoulders as your hips jerk upwards against his own.
“Pretty Girl,” His low voice purrs out. “What could you possibly be dreaming of, hmm?”
Cocking his head to the side, he stares down at you. His chest is pressed flush against your own, forearms supporting him on either side of you as he settles more comfortably between your legs.
Leaning into you, he begins to place soft kisses against your cheek. Slowly, he trails his lips down your jawline, tracing over your pulse, then back up again. All the while, that same smirk tugs at his features.
His nose nudges tenderly against your jaw.
“Why live in a fantasy when I can make all of your dreams a reality?”
More kisses are placed upon the skin of your neck as he slowly begins to make his way down your body. His touch is feather light, wings twitching excitedly in the air behind him as he tugs your shirt down gently. The straps of your tank top easily slide down your arms, and with a quick movement, he’s snapping them as if they were nothing but brittle string.
The sound of tearing fabric echoes around the room as he shreds through your shirt, pausing lightly to check on you. He forgot how loud that could be, his mind having been focussed on exposing you to the most pleasure that he can give you. Of course, that meant exposing you, but he doesn’t want to wake you from your blissful slumber quite yet.
Not even his chest rises or falls with breath as he hovers above you, watching you closely for any signs of movement. After a little while passes with your eyes still shut, steady breathing and soft whimpers still falling from you, he breathes a sigh of relief.
Slowly, carefully, he discards your shirt, hands beginning to trace over your sides. His touch is gentle, eyes taking in every bare inch of skin presented to him. Nothing but admiration shines in his gaze, a dark, primal sort of lust hiding within. He’s hoping beyond anything to have you smoothly transition from your dream into reality. For when you do, he’ll be ready and waiting with open arms.
There is nothing more rewarding to him than your pleasure. The fact that he alone is the only one able to bring you to such ecstasy makes his heart swell with so much love and pride within his chest. Only he can touch you like this. Only he lives to serve you, to make you see the far reaches of the heavens each time your eyes flutter shut in bliss. Your pleasure is his pleasure, and he could spend eternity worshipping you, all while making you scream his name.
Ever so gently, he presses his face against your chest, right in the valley of your breasts. His hands come up to cup such tender flesh, inhaling deeply as he nuzzles against you. Again, his lips press a tender kiss directly over your heart, wings fluttering in content as his thumbs tease over your nipples.
Fingers trace languidly against your skin, needing to feel every inch of you beneath his touch. Slowly, Seonghwa begins trailing feather light kisses down your body, heart fluttering in anticipation. Every second that passes, your scent becomes stronger, your thighs subconsciously squeezing around his sides. He knows you need him just as desperately as he needs you, and he does not want to waste any more time than he already has.
Reaching the hemline of your sleep shorts, Seonghwa dips the tips of his fingers beneath the band. A tender kiss is placed onto the skin of your stomach, nose nudging against you affectionately. The corner of his lips quirks upwards as he slowly begins tugging your shorts down your thighs, being extra cautious not to wake you.
Of course, Seonghwa cannot help himself. How can he when he has the most perfect being laid out before him? Temptation wins out as he presses loving kisses against your thighs with each inch revealed to him. Once he fully removes your shorts, he nearly lets out a low moan when the sight of your bare pussy, needy and already shimmering with your arousal, is presented to him.
Tossing your shorts somewhere in the room, Seonghwa is quick to run his hands up the length of your legs. His fingers ghost against your skin, breathing deepening as your scent completely immerses him in everything you. Once he reaches the tops of your thighs, his thumbs begin to softly brush against the sensitive flesh. The way you shiver beneath his touch, even while still asleep, makes him smile.
Again, he leans into you, pressing delicate kisses against the skin of your thighs. His teeth graze your flesh, teasing at you as he continues to brush his thumbs over you.
Every little sound you make, every twitch and shudder of your body, has his cock absolutely throbbing against the mattress. A carnal ache resides within him. A desperation only you can satiate. Yet, when it comes to you, he always wants more.
Finally, unable to wait even a moment longer, Seonghwa presses his face against your cunt. He noses along your slit, inhaling deeply as his whole body shudders from your scent. Teasingly, his tongue flicks out to taste you, and even the briefest touch of your arousal on his lips has him moaning shamelessly against your core.
Something within himself snaps. 
With his whole body shaking in need, Seonghwa buries himself deep in your cunt. Desperate, guttural moans escape him as he drags his tongue through your folds, eagerly suckling at the sweet nectar that flows from between your legs. His lips place a few chaste kisses against your clit before he’s wrapping them around such a sensitive little bud, suckling at you eagerly.
His eyes nearly roll to the back of his head, tongue flattening against your clit before rolling in circles. His hot breath hits your cunt with every exhale, wings fluttering above him as he groans lowly. Desperately, his hands tighten over your waist, pulling you even closer into his touch.
A pleased rumble shakes his chest once he feels your fingers tangle in his hair. The way you hold him to your cunt, tugging him in closer has him redoubling his efforts over you.
Heavy breathing permeates the room, your hips beginning to grind against his face in time with his movements. Sleep still clings to the corners of your vision, eyes barely cracked open to peer at him through the darkness. Each flick of his tongue over your clit has pleasant jolts of pure ecstasy coursing through your veins, already feeling so close to the edge as that familiar pressure builds within.
His movements are desperate, shaking his head back and forth while sucking your clit between his lips. Sharp, hooded eyes glint up at you through the shadows, his hips beginning to grind against the mattress as his fingers dig into your skin.
Again, he tugs you in impossibly closer, tongue slipping down to dip between your folds. Swirling the muscle around your entrance, he hums, pressing himself firmer into your cunt. His nose grinds against your clit, tongue buried as deep as possible within you as he licks and sucks almost uncontrollably.
The sound of your moans create a beautiful symphony around him, urging him on. He can tell you’re close. The way your thighs begin to shake around his head makes his cock twitch. His hips grind harder against the mattress, silently begging for you to fall apart with him as he brings you to ecstasy.
Wrapping his lips around your clit once more, it’s like you answer his every prayer.
Back arching from the bed, you come with a loud cry of his name. Your thighs squeeze around his head, holding him in place as he flattens his tongue against you, letting you ride out your orgasm as you grind your hips against him. Whimpers and moans echo alongside blissful sighs of his name, your heart racing as pleasure floods your veins.
The moment he feels you flooding his tongue, his eyes roll into the back of his head. With your thighs closing around his head, his pleased cries get muffled against your cunt as he comes with you. Hot spurts of his come soak into the sheets beneath his hips, fingers digging harshly into your skin. His wings flare out behind him, shuddering along with his whole body as he keeps himself buried against you.
Slowly, you begin to catch your breath.
Bringing your one hand up, you rub at your face. Blinking a few times to clear your vision, you spare a glance at the seraphim between your legs.
Dark eyes already stare up at you lovingly, a soft chuckle shaking his chest. His fingers smooth over your skin, leaning in once more to place a tender kiss against your clit.
“Good morning, My Beloved.” At the way you simply groan in response, a knowing smile begins to tug at his lips. “Good dream?”
“Mmmh, the best…” Humming, you rub lightly at your eyes. A moment later, you pause in your movements, brow furrowing slightly as you take in just how dark the room still is. “What time is it?”
Seonghwa, who has begun placing tender kisses along the skin of your thighs once more, smiles up at you from between your legs. “Not yet dawn.”
You stretch lightly, brushing a hand over your forehead as you take a deep breath in. “What time did you get in last night? I didn’t hear you come home.”
That single, simple word makes him smile, heart warming inside of his chest.
“Not that long ago.” He noses along your thigh, drifting closer and closer to your core with each movement. “I’m glad my return didn’t wake you. Though, it was a treat seeing you wearing those Tweety Bird pyjama shorts I got you.”
Your face flares with heat, averting your gaze to the side.
“They’re comfy.” You mumble, the cutest of pouts tugging at your lips.
Seonghwa chuckles, a soft expression resting on his features as he admires every inch of you before him. The way your fingers lightly begin to play with some strands of his hair has him leaning into your touch.
A pleased rumble shakes his chest, hands caressing over the sides of your thighs and up your hips. Lightly, his gaze flicks downwards, shifting between staring into your eyes before glancing hungrily at your dripping cunt.
“Beloved…”
The desperate moan Seonghwa lets out goes straight to your core, causing you to clench around nothing. A movement of which he eagerly catches.
“Yes, Seonghwa?”
A shiver caresses his spine as you coo his name so tenderly.
His tongue darts out to wet his lips.
“More.” His voice trembles in need as his fingers dig into the skin of your hips. He pulls your closer, chest beginning to rise and fall dramatically as he stares, transfixed, at your weeping cunt. “Give me more.”
“Greedy little angel…” You chuckle, tracing your fingers over the side of his cheek. “Don’t you know that gluttony is a sin?”
“But I made a mess, Beloved.” Wide eyes peer up at you, a dark lust swirling behind the guise of innocence. “A beautiful, intoxicating mess. It’s only right that I clean you up.”
“You can’t fool me, Angel.” The corner of your lips quirk upwards in amusement, eyes shining as you peer down at him. “I know you only want to clean me up just so you can make a mess out of me again.”
A pout tugs at his features, eyebrows drooping dramatically. “But I love making a mess out of you.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret, then.” You smile, gently brushing some hair out of his eyes. “I love it, too.”
Seonghwa does not need to be told twice.
Without wasting another second, his tongue is back on you. This time, his movements are a lot slower. More precise. No drop is to go to waste. He wants to take his time, letting you feel every ounce of his love and passion for you. He wants you to know just how much he desires you, and just how much he enjoys this.
Pleased hums escape him as he drags his tongue through your folds, laving his mouth over your entire pussy. Dark eyes lock onto your own as he suckles and licks at your cunt, wings fluttering lightly in the air. His hands creep up your sides, touch trailing against your skin as he shifts to cup your breasts. He pinches at your nipples, rolling the pert buds between his fingers before tugging at them gently.
A low moan parts your lips, arching into his touch. Almost immediately, your hands come up to cover his own, pressing them firmer against your breasts. The content rumble that shakes his chest goes straight to your core, clenching around his tongue as he buries the muscle into your tight cunt.
Curling his tongue, his nose brushes tenderly against your clit. He pinches at your nipples once more, squeezing the flesh of your breasts appreciatively. As your hips begin to grind against him, he smirks. Humming contently, Seonghwa shifts to wrap his lips back around that sensitive little bundle of nerves, suckling lightly before flicking his tongue against you.
Soft moans and whimpers slip passed your lips, fingers returning to his hair to pull him in closer. Your whole body feels as if it’s floating, completely relaxing beneath his touch as pleasure courses through your veins. 
Everything about him is sinful. From the way his dark eyes shine beneath the light of the moon, captivating you in their loving, lustful pools. To the way his hands trace over your skin, burning multiple paths of desire, comfort, safety, and fulfillment all at the same time. You cannot count the amount of times he’s lost himself in you using just his tongue, and you know that tonight is no exception.
Your heart swells with nothing but love as he reaches out for your free hand. Almost instantly, he’s intertwining your fingers with his, squeezing gently. 
He’s right here, and he always will be.
Using his opposite hand, he parts your folds with two fingers. His tongue licks a long strip up your cunt before flattening over your clit. Now that he’s opened you completely to him, there is nothing in the way for him to be able to give you the most pleasure that he can.
A deep groan reverberates against you, hot breaths hitting your cunt with every exhale.
“Best fucking pussy I’ve ever had the pleasure to worship.” A tender kiss is placed upon your clit. “Perfect, delectable little cunt… Only one I’ll ever want. Only one I’ll ever need.”
Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head, thighs shaking from his words. Your fingers tighten in his hair, squeezing his hand in your own as you whimper his name.
“That’s it, Beloved,” He coos, bumping his nose against your clit affectionately. “Say my name. Scream my name to the heavens and tell them who your eternal servant is. Tell them who it always will be. In this life, and the next. For all eternity.”
Your whole body begins to tremble as he wraps his lips around your clit, gently suckling on that sensitive little bundle of nerves. He purposely keeps you suspended in bliss, teetering right on the edge as he watches your whole being flood with ecstasy.
Pride fills his chest at how you whimper and whine for him, your hips desperately rolling against his tongue as he teases at your cunt.
“Tell me, Beloved,” A harsh suck is given to your clit, his eyes flashing as he locks gazes with you. “Who does such a delectable pussy belong to?”
All that you can manage is a desperate moan, chest heaving as that building pressure becomes almost unbearable within you. You can feel your clit practically pulsating, beginning to clench rhythmically around nothing.
“Who’s pretty pussy am I allowed to worship? To devour?”
“Seonghwa-“
“Say it.” Dark eyes flash beneath the moonlight, tone sharp as he growls lowly. “Come on, Pretty Girl. I want to hear you say it.”
Your breath hitches, nearing choking on a whine. Squeezing your eyes shut at the pleasure overwhelming your every nerve, you attempt to steady your shaking form. Taking a deep breath in, you go to speak.
However, the moment the words begin to form on your lips, Seonghwa wraps his own back around your clit, sucking harshly.
“Fuck-“ Inhaling sharply, your eyes fly open. Your voice borders on a scream as you just manage to choke out, “My pretty pussy is all yours to devour-“
Your words get caught in your throat as another loud curse escapes you, tossing your head back onto the pillows.
Seonghwa snarls against your cunt, shaking his head back and forth rapidly as he eagerly continues to suck at your clit. His hands tighten over you, pulling you impossibly closer as his wings flare out behind him.
A scream of his name tears from your throat, whole body shaking as your back arches from the bed. Your orgasm crashes into you unforgivingly, feet lifting slightly in the air from the intensity. Desperate whines and moans of his name escape you, clenching around nothing as your release floods out of you.
Only, Seonghwa doesn’t stop there.
Your cries of ecstasy only serve to spur him on as he slides the two fingers he had been using to spread your pussy open for him into your cunt. The feeling of your walls sucking him in, squeezing around his digits so delicately makes him groan. A shudder wracks his whole body, eyes closing briefly in bliss as his cock throbs against the sheets. Already he’s so close to coming again, but first, he needs to see you falling apart for him again. Because of him.
With practiced ease, he curls his fingers right up against that special spot inside of you. His tongue flicks at your clit, placing delicate kisses against that sensitive little bud before sucking harshly at it once more. The lewd, wet slurping sounds of his tongue on your cunt fill the room, only serving to make him even more feral than he already is.
High pitched moans escape you, tears of pleasure beginning to line your eyes as your whole body shakes beneath his hold. Your thighs squeeze around his head, not even deterring him in the slightest as you wither and whine. Every little touch makes your head spin, pleasure overwhelming your every sense.
You both wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Fuck- Seonghwa!” You gasp out, eyes squeezing shut as you practically curl into his touch. “Don’t stop-“ A catch in your breath as you cling to him for dear life. “Please, don’t fucking stop!”
A snarl of agreement fills the air, adding more pressure to his fingers as he massages over that special spot deep inside of you. His lips never once leave your clit, hooded gaze locked on your figure and practically demanding that you to fall apart for him right now.
With one final flick over your clit, you do.
Like lightning streaking across the sky, your orgasm crackles through your veins like a flash of electricity. Another scream of his name tears from your throat, broken and desperate as you squirt all over his face. Each movement against your cunt has you shuddering beneath his touch, vision blurring at the corners as the first of your tears of pleasure begin to slide down your cheeks.
Your hold on him is like a vice, grounding yourself to him as your chest heaves with every breath. You can feel something warm and wet splatter lightly against your thighs, Seonghwa’s deep moans beginning to harmonize alongside your own.
The way you notice his wings trembling in the air through your blissful haze causes the corners of your lips to twitch upwards. Knowing he’s just as affected as you are right now makes warmth swell inside of your chest, nothing but love flooding your very soul.
Seonghwa rests his forehead tenderly against your thigh while he catches his breath. His head swims with nothing but you, overwhelmed in the best of ways. Every ounce of his desire for you flows beneath the surface of his skin, drowning him in an undeniable ecstasy that only you can bring him. Seeing you like this - your pure and unfiltered form indulging in all that he has to offer - is unlike any other sensation he has ever felt in his entire existence.
He could never tire of this.
He could never tire of you.
Sliding his fingers from your cunt while releasing his hold on your hand, Seonghwa begins trailing kisses back up your body. Each press of his lips against you is soft, taking his time to admire every contour of your body. Every dip and curve of your glorious figure is sacred to him, and he never wants you to forget how beautiful you truly are. 
How beautiful you have always been.
Finally, his lips return to your own, giving you a deep and tender kiss which conveys his undying affections for you. Soft hums are breathed out against you, Seonghwa cupping your cheek gently in one hand while he slides his opposite arm around your waist. Pulling your chest flush against his own, he settles himself comfortably between your legs.
The feeling of his cock sliding through your wet folds, already hard and aching for you once more, makes you smile.
“My insatiable Little Sinner,” You coo, threading your fingers gently through his hair.
“When it comes to you?” His lips quirk upwards against your own, eyes shining with nothing but pure devotion as he openly admires you before him. “Always.”
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meanbossart · 1 month ago
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How did Du Drow’s personality and behavior change after turning away from Bhaal and losing his urges?
Very minimally, really. His personality changes most dramatically throughout the course of the campaign, but it's gradual enough a process that it shouldn't feel that way, at least.
Barring the standoffish-ness that he starts with (which I think is an understandable reaction to losing all of your memories and suddenly being in a life-or-death situation with a bunch of strangers) DU drow starts off as a person who isn't interested in anyone's well-being but his own, nor is he invested in anybody's story or their outcome. Everything he does is in the interest of his own survival or personal, subjective ethics (saving Arabella because she's an individual child in distress- not saving the tieflings in act 2 because they've served their purpose and he doesn't care for them as a group). He's charming, and even polite, but he makes it very transparent that he doesn't care for the happiness or comfort of others.
By act 2, he finds himself with people to care about and whose goals he's invested in - he kills Yurgir so Astarion can get his answer from Raphael even though he thinks it's an objectively dumb idea. He helps Shadowheart fullfil Shar's trials despite the fact that her religion seems like absolute nonsense to him - he wants to make these people happy when there is nothing in it for him., and that's absolutely novel. He's also a slightly warmer person by then who is friendly to, like, half of the party.
By act 3, he's been inspired by Shadowheart's rebellion and is kind of mirroring that in his own way. He enjoys occasionally helping refugees in the outskirts of the city if for no other reason than to go against the grain - he develops a bit of a "fuck the rich" and a Stick It To The Man attitude that I think is inherit to the man that he is, and harkens back to his forgotten days of living-rough as a youth; when he would only enter cities to thieve or collect supplies and looked at the more privilege sects of society as weak and pompous. He lets Yenna into camp after she shows up because dude just loves an urchin, he tries to free the prisoners from the Iron throne and then help out the slaves at the Steel Watch Foundry, he gets Minsc back to afford Jaheira some peace of mind and doesn't hesitate to refuse his father's gift.
Besides Shadowheart's and Astarion's stories, I think learning that the bloodlust he thrived in was imposed upon him rather than organically acquired was what most sent DU drow into an identity crisis. The idea of doing things against his will unbeknownst to himself, or of being a pawn in an authority figure's game, is something that brought him equal amounts of shame and anger. It also triggers him to want to get in touch with the less violent side of himself - since, supposedly, that was actually all him - and leads him to want to do the best by all of his party members (to mixed results, considering Karlach's and Gale's fates) and establish the depth of his existing relationships.
...Ironically, I think being killed by Bhaal and then resurrected by Withers led him to slightly stray off that path of improvement. I mean, the TRUE evil's been banished! Now he can stop feeling guilt and shame and worry and just live his life COMPLETELY free from critical thought! Literally the first thing that he does upon waking up is declare that he's cured, and then announce that he's a blank slate - he isn't, and we all know that.
DU drow then proceeds to be confused as to why he still enjoys murder and mayhem for like 2 months, until Shadowheart and Astarion gently knock some sense into him (not by dissuading him from enjoying murder and mayhem - but recognizing that that's a part of him that wouldn't go away at the simple snap of a bony finger, and an urge that he has full control over.) Naturally, what Wither's did also did his invincibility complex no favors.
So... He really is kind of the same. He is slightly more in-touch with his own empathy and open to the pleasures of life, but his base personality has remained pretty intact - I would say he turns out to be what that young, lanky forest cryptid would have been all along, had Bhaal never entered the mix.
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deepwoundsandfadedscars · 10 months ago
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Sat down to have a chat with my cousin before he flies home tomorrow to his wife, just cause I was anxious that she would try to twist it against me if she talked to him first, I explained my side of what the interaction was and the blatant lies she claimed, and he's not at all surprised and in fact is already planning on getting a paralegal when he gets home to start getting her the fuck out of his life
Me last night: hmm maybe I want another tattoo, I'm going to start talking to this artist *sends message*
My cousins wife: *sends an incredibly hostile message about how I've been ignoring her and she's gone above and beyond for me trying to be supportive of me, when in reality she hasn't texted me first since November and when I text her, she's very short with me and makes no effort to continue a conversation with me*
"Yeah hi, artist? Make that three tattoos"
#kee speaks#i wasnt expecting to hear he was already considering divorce but pleasently surprised#i am a-ok with that#especially after chatting with a friend today who has interacted with her too and my friend reminded me of some other shitty things she did#cause holy fuck#on another way less positive note: my grandma also sprung on me today a discussion on grief and where she believes my sister is#and she repeated something that ive heard her say before and it infuriates me SO MUCH#like she's very spiritual in a non-religious way and believes in tarot and astrology and all that#but she keeps saying that she believes that my sister had finished her purpose in our lives#and that has been the most hurtful thing i have ever heard#cause no!! why the absolute ever living FUCK would someones purpose be to kill themself??#what purpose does that serve in any of our lives??#she keeps repeating it like it helps her but it makes me want to smash something#she gets so misguided about things- she says things without actually thinking it through#and it always throws me off so bad that i cant even explain how wrong what she just said is#like the day my grandpa died she told my cousin that if him and his ex had to figure out a custody plan#that he should only take his sons and leave his daughter with his ex- which i presume she said because she figures#that the girl will turn out like her mother (abusive)- we were all so shocked she would say that that we didnt know how to respond#also when i subtly tried to bring up the whole transgender thing to test the waters to see how she'd react to me#it makes me want to scream#like she comments how she doesnt understand choices my mom makes#my mom isnt anything like my grandma and I'm nothing like my mom either-#so why would you immediately presume that your great granddaughter would be anything like her mother#yes some stuff runs in the family but telling your grandson to abandon his daughter because the woman he married turned out to be awful???#just sounds like a guaranteed way to make sure she DOES end up like her mom by leaving her solely under that womans guardianship#thankfully my cousin isnt dumb enough to agree with her logic#I'm so fucking fired up today everything is making me mad and stressed out#tomorrows going to be a long ass day but I'll be able to dawdle my way home and i can take myself to the bookstore and get some bubble tea#so im gonna fucking treat myself tomorrow#still waiting to confirm the tattoos on saturday but fingers crossed that still happens
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yandere-romanticaa · 1 year ago
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The deep corners of the sea harbor many secrets. Be it countless lives which were claimed by the tides, ancient tales of a bygone era, or perhaps something even darker, something so great that the feeble human mind could not even think of comprehending.
The murky waters hid many things indeed. But for the Duke, his little secret was not so ancient, something not so important in the ultimate grand scheme of things.
It only mattered to him and only him.
He gazes fondly at his secret as he sips tea in the cafeteria, taking a break in a highly conspicuous area simply because he was the Duke and he could do as he wished.
He could have you at any moment he desired. The sentence was prolonged for absolutely no reason and searching for one was pointless. The Duke has his reasons, the staff would say. Run along now and go back to your duties. If you keep slacking off you'll starve.
Wriothesley liked to play favorites when it came to you.
That became evident to some of the staff very fast.
He had it arranged that your meals be of, at the very least, decent quality. No mystery meat for you or any rotten vegetables. If you consumed any of that your health would be in jeopardy. He could always just give you a proper meal or maybe even a downright good one but that would arise too much suspicion from the inmates and he was not in the mood to hear them complain. One day, the chef decided to be bold and serve you a wretched meal on purpose, just to test his hypothesis.
As expected, Wriothesley gave him an earful even if he never actually said anything about you. His bias was still evident and nothing could hide that.
Wriothesley liked to consider himself as an honest and a frank man. Like all people he had his secrets and his own cross to carry but if he could he wanted things to be done right in the open. No mysteries, no hesitance. If you were not a prisoner in the Fortress, Wriothesley would already have you on his arm. He was also aware of his imposing presence, the last thing he wanted to do was to scare you off. The power imbalance was simply too large between the two of you.
Therefore, like the predator that he was, he bid his time. He locked away his rawest feelings deep in his heart and hid the key, never wanting to throw it away.
He wanted you to come to him. He wanted you to seek him out.
Oh, to be loved, to be wanted by another human being. What a foreign yet pleasant thought. Wriothesley knew you did not see him in that light but damn it all if he does not try. All of the cards are in his hands and he has dealt you yours. The only option left is for you to play straight into his hand.
The thought of sharing a cup of tea with you made his heart soar. Patience was indeed a virtue. And fortunately for him, the Fortress of Meropide had taught him that skill a long time ago.
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kdramastrix · 1 year ago
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I have. Something to talk about and its very very VERY important.
We know that last scene of TDJ where its just PEAK yearning but can we PLEASE appreciate the micro-expressions that passed over both Yohan & Gaon's faces when they faced each other DIRECTLY after a MONTH (if im not wrong) of that whole blowing up fiasco + Yohan's arrest before that??????? Because my GOD.
So we see Gaon call Yohan by his Full Government Name™ (which wasn't very wise for a declared dead enemy of the state who is ALSO wanted but we'll let it pass for romanticisms' sake) and look at his face. His face is one of a scared man. He's not hesitant but he is afraid of how Yohan views him after what transpired between them.
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In turn, Yohan looks back and well.
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He is also somewhat apprehensive. They're both testing each other & the waters they're in. Although Yohan doesn't have a revenge vendetta shackling him down anymore, Gaon, on the other hand, has tremendous stuff to unpack. They're carefully, if not gently, evaluating the distance between them.
And then, Yohan gives a clear sign that he holds nothing against Gaon. An open arm, an open invitation. To join him? Maybe. To decide what to do with them? Perhaps. It's vague but it's also clear that Yohan is done manipulating Gaon & that he has left the ball in Gaon's court.
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Then come the positive changes. With Yohan's green signal, Gaon is somewhat relieved but also incredibly guilt-ridden. I think these frames speak for themselves.
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The wet smile & the eye crinkles. He is so relieved to be in Yohan's good graces but also just looking at Yohan be his ever glowing self after serving his life's purpose.
Yohan. My dearest Yohan. Look at him. He's equally heart-broken to be seeing Gaon like this, to be leaving him behind but that little nod he does???? Like he's made a decision that he needs to stick with for the betterment of Gaon???? That's what truly gets me. It's so clear the distance between them is hurting him but he also knows that it's necessary to give Gaon space & time, to unravel & to explore things on his own. Perhaps another assumption on his part because who truly knows what Gaon wants except Gaon himself?
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Then it's a brief look exchanged. As he turns, giving Gaon one last reassuring smile as he turns and leaves behind one of the most important people to him.
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And gaon watches. Look at his micro-expressions here. Look at his breathing. His sagging shoulders. His eyes. His wet smile. His balled hands. His tiny nods.
He also thinks this is necessary but you can so clearly see its taking every bit of nerve & fiber in him to stay rooted to his place & not chase after Yohan. He's DELIBERATELY not taking a single step towards Yohan. He thinks he doesn't deserve to chase after him, that hes content to see Yohan: alive, well and so utterly free. That's all that matters.
I would genuinely like to appreciate both jinyoung and jisung for their acting bcs they NAILED the raw emotions needed for this absolutely stunning yet gut wrenching scene. It's so difficult to convey such complex emotions through such little means yet they did it to PERFECTION. They both gave their characters LIFE. And for that i will always be grateful bcs i dont think anyone else could've done Kang Yohan and Kim Gaon the way they did.
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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severing the connection of the titans to themselves, each other and their children, to the world, and with it severing the connection of the dwarves to their true nature, the basic state of love and belonging that should be their birthright. ("our children, orphaned".) severing the connection between rook and the reality and true memory of varric, and thus from themselves and their own healing grief AND love. (do we spot the echo, perhaps?) severing (mostly accidentally this time, I'll give him that) the connection between the fade and the real world, dream and reality.
the scale we're operating on varies from the mythic, the cosmic and existential, to the individual and deeply, nauseatingly intimately personal, but it's the same pattern every time. solas keeps committing the same act of enforced dissociation, of creating orphaned pain that cannot even know itself, estranged from its own history, origins and coherence, unhealable in being impossible to recognize for what it is and thus unreachable. (hello lucanis in the minrathous saved route btw. this theme echoes everywhere when you look for it. I do love this game.) making others strangers to themselves for his own purposes and being surprised when it blows up in his face horrifically once more even when it's his same indelible original sin repeated, again and again and again. dissociation is a natural process the mind uses to protect itself from unbearable pain, but to knowingly cause that in someone, to play around with their connection to themselves and reality so fundamentally, to further your own cause... yeah, I'm not surprised the fabric of the world keeps tearing apart in protest in response to that, there's something so unspeakably insidiously wrong about it. forget snacking down on apples and knowing yourself to be naked or whatever, that sounds like a perfectly blameless if presumably slightly chilly afternoon to me -- force-feeding someone else their own fragmentation for your own gain, however ostensibly worthy your final goal, feels much closer to what real sin would be to me. and even worse because *buries face in hands* he just keeps doing it!!! he should know better, but he keeps doing it!!!!!!
I know I keep joking that solas only has the like three basic moves he keeps rearranging to invent new and spectacular ways of doubling down on making the same mistake yet again, but looking at it like this it's almost not even funny anymore haha. (almost. there is a hysterical amusement and affection that rises within me every time I see his smug little face, we cannot choose who we love only what we do about it.) and the worst thing is that I think he could learn! I do believe he has the capacity, the depth of empathy and soul and intellect, to learn from this, had he chosen to do so, had he let himself pause and truly listen at any point. but at the end of the day, even all these thousands of years later and with the mountains of guilt he lugs around, he chooses not to. and I suspect it's because he fundamentally does not actually understand what he did wrong. on his way to, ostensibly, fix one of these splits he caused, that of the veil, he basically goes and does to rook's mind what he did to the titans, and without the hand of mythal guiding it or anyone else culpable in it with him this time, as if to underline twice that in all these thousands of years he has learned absolutely nothing! almost to an impressive degree! does he even recognize that it's the same thing he's doing? does he even actually afford rook and their internal world that much thought to begin with, aside from what purpose they can serve for him? I'm not so sure. and to do it all with varric's face, with the person he took from them, making them feel complicit in it when they find out, the same way the dwarves will have to grapple with the fact that their whole economy is based in unwittingly selling the blood of like. god. their parents. themselves. solas. babe. what the fUCK. what the fuck. what the fuck.
perhaps part of the blind spot comes down to the way it's the inverse of his own trauma. solas knows exactly what happened to him because it's the endless ache at the center of his existence, the thing -- the first mistake -- he can't escape or undo or forget, nor bring himself to accept: he became real, one coherent set self, with no way back to what and who he was. and what he does with that pain, his one move, is to make others not-real. to himself, and more alarming still to themselves. he makes them forget, as he cannot forget. does he think it's mercy, in some way? does he realize how and why that makes it all so much worse??? and... not quite the same thing, but when mythal dies the structure of his own inner world falls apart catastrophically, and in his vengeance for that, even unintentionally, he imposes that same unravelling on the world. we've all heard the lines about spirits mirroring the real world and what you bring into your relationship with them being what you get in return, but how about the tragedy of the inverse -- the world being brought to mirror you, despite what your intentions might have been going in. no one should have that power, but you claimed that power yourself to do something else and now you have to look into that mirror forever. no such mercy as forgetting yourself for you. you are everywhere now, this broken mirror of a world will reflect yourself back to you no matter where you look. perhaps it would feel easier to simply close your eyes and walk on willfully blindly. AGH it's all so delicious and fucked up and makes me feel absolutely nuts
dissociation is something that's also central in iron bull's character and internal conflict, so presumably this is simply a deep theme trick weekes keeps returning to/is interested in exploring in their writing! and the elegance with which it's done and how inextricably yet subtly embedded in the narrative it is both with bull and overall in veilguard means it's not always engaged with or recognized as I feel it deserves, but to me personally it is Everything and gets at it in ways that feel weirdly real and authentic.
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wolfsong-the-bloody-beast · 4 months ago
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I'm kind of obsessed with Blackwall's idealized ideas about the Wardens. He was once picked up by a Warden and lulled by the promise of atoning for his crimes and turning his life around, only for that opportunity to slip away when the Warden not only saved him, but sacrificed his own life to do it. This whole experience makes our Blackwall become a Warden in heart, if not in blood, but with his own ideas of what a Grey Warden should be - noble, brave, inspiring, heroic, self-sacrificial. Everything he now wants to embody. He knows well that he's not there, but he wants nothing more than to start from scratch and be that.
In his beliefs, he reminds me a bit of Wynne in Origins who tells the Warden at some point that the Grey Wardens are supposed to be more than killing machines and weapons against the blight.
“There’s more to being a Grey Warden than killing darkspawn and saving the world from the Blight. Ultimately, being a Grey Warden is about serving others, about serving all people, whether elves or dwarves or men. As a Grey Warden, you are a guardian of men. And you guard them because their continued existence is more important than you are.”
However, we know that's not exactly how it works. That's what they want the Wardens to be. The light against darkness. The shield against monsters.
Although it's not entirely wrong, either, I suppose, all things considered. The more darkspawn they obliterate and push back, the more people are protected from them. Of course, sacrificing their lives to fight literal monsters, which means those same monsters don't eat everybody's kids, ultimately is heroic, and it's something that must have been born out of the need to protect the world and its inhabitants (from the Blight). But to have idealized opinions of the Wardens to this degree, you have to ignore all the other shady stuff and the mentality we, as players, also know the Wardens for. The fact that the Wardens are primarily weapons to slay darkspawn, prevent and end Blights, by any means necessary. The last part is important. After all, they are the Grey Wardens, not the White Wardens. They recruit from all walks of life and are famous for taking in criminals. Not to redeem themselves and get a second chance at life, but because they usually have nowhere to go and nothing left to lose. It's not a coincidence that each of the Origins gets chosen by Duncan, not only because he sees them as capable, but also because they are in a situation they can't escape from. Either they join the Wardens, or they're done for.
We know the Wardens from a few games now, but does the public in the setting even know? Does the average person have any idea how far the Wardens are willing to go? Besides grand stories of slaying monsters in the dark and preventing the end of the world? Probably not. The order is very secretive. And it explains a lot. The Wardens end up sounding almost romantic, when being a Warden is anything but. Is it ignorance talking out of these characters? Perhaps.
It once again shows us this aspect of Dragon Age where you can't take everything a character says as a fact, because the setting is full of people who have no idea what they're talking about, but who are absolutely convinced that they do.
And yet, I can't help but also like Wynne's and Blackwall's romantic ideas about what the Wardens are or should be, almost knights in shining armour and all that. They're fairy tales, but they're beautiful fairy tales. And I can't fault the characters for wanting to believe it or even live it. Especially in case of Blackwall, who sees it as a way to make up for the crimes he committed, somewhat. In the end, this might actually be a bigger draw to join the Wardens than, "Got nowhere to go? Come suffer horribly and probably die gruesomely with us!" It all sounds great on paper, though. I can't fault Davrin for trying to find purpose in life by becoming a monster hunter, either.
And maybe a little bit of idealism doesn't hurt. Not only it's good motivation, but in the end, doing things by "any means necessary" doesn't always pay off, either. It led the Wardens into all kinds of trouble, like getting tricked into employing dangerous forms of blood magic and demon summoning, basically into doing their enemy's work for them. In their determination to win at any cost, they helped trigger a cataclysmic event. Maybe having some principles isn't so bad after all.
In the end, I can appreciate that we get to see the clash of the old and new blood in Veilguard, where there's hope for the order to transform into an organization that's less secretive, less exclusive, and hopefully less prone to letting corruption spread through its ranks and make other devastating mistakes. Duncan once said that letting people join the Wardens isn't an "act of charity", and I like how Evka and Antoine go, "Yeah, you know what? Fuck that." And that likely inspires more loyalty. I imagine Blackwall would like that.
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hopesaheartache · 25 days ago
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I know this is an unpopular opinion, but it really bothers me that Suzanne chose not to have Haymitch’s reaping happen normally, which led to many people in the fandom saying that none of District 12’s victors, except Peeta, should have been in the Games, as if they were somehow destined to win because of that.
When something similar happened in TBOSAS, I already wasn’t a big fan, but at least it served a narrative purpose: the relationship between Lucy Gray and Mayfair, the snakes, her performing. It wasn’t gratuitous.
Katniss volunteering is the driving force behind her entire story. She loves her sister so much that she’s willing to do anything to protect her. It is one of the foundations of her personality, presented to us from the very beginning, and it gives her a reason to stand out in the story as an unusual tribute from District 12, consequently drawing attention from the start. There’s a clear purpose to why it happens the way it does.
But what did Haymitch not being reaped actually change in his story? Absolutely nothing — except, perhaps, adding a symbolic connection to the 50th Hunger Games having 50 tributes (if we count Woodbine and Lou Lou) and reinforcing how easy it is to manipulate the reaping and public perception, something that had already been explored much more effectively elsewhere. In SOTR itself, there’s already a manipulated reaping with Ampert, which actually serves a narrative purpose and adds something relevant to the book.
Beyond being unnecessary, I think this change weakens the story. I don’t see how all of District 12’s victors, except Peeta, not being reaped serves as a meaningful parallel or highlights some special connection between them. Katniss and Haymitch already had enough well established similarities that made sense. In fact, it would have been far more interesting for Haymitch as a character if he had been reaped because his name was entered more times due to the tesserae and his responsibility to his family. That could have added more depth to his relationships with Maysilee and Wyatt and heightened the tension of the 2nd Quarter Quell.
The point of the Hunger Games should be that all the tributes are children suffering under the Capitol’s control, not that some suffer greater injustices than others or that there are 'chosen ones.'
I don’t think this was Suzanne’s intention when she wrote it, but it’s disappointing that it left room for this kind of interpretation.
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o-sachi · 9 months ago
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Record Store - Drabble for WinBre Week!
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ᯓ you and kaji working together part-time at a local record store ᯓ character; kaji ren (wind breaker) ᯓ tags; fluff, college au, technically a budding workplace romance, has a 500 days of summer reference, afab reader, no y/n
[🐟]: for day 6 - part-time job prompt! @windbreakerweek
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There was this guy you worked with at the local record store. He was pretty quiet and always wore headphones no matter what—which was fitting for a record store employee, you thought.
But that meant it was almost impossible to talk to him. So the register and the customer service were left in your care. He mostly handled the logistics like carrying the boxes containing new records and arranging them on the display shelves.
On his chest he wore the same employee nameplate that you did. It said "Hi I'm, Kaji," in black letters. You assumed he was the one who wrote his name with those asemic strokes. But all that mattered was that the nameplate served its purpose and everyone now knows his name is Kaji.
Unfortunately, that's about everything you know of this guy. Too bad he can't write his life's story or his favorite food on something he can plaster somewhere on his body.
Kaji was intriguing though. You found yourself stealing glances at him while you stood behind the counter and he'd be walking back-and-forth between the shelves and the storage room. The only time he'd talk to you was when he absolutely need to, but would you really consider conversations about work as ACTUAL conversations? No, not really.
It was a rather slow and peaceful day for the record store. To be fair, you've never experienced a busy day here. It was one of the many charms of this place. But you were bored out of your mind doing absolutely nothing at the register while Kaji was busy with rearranging the vinyls.
An idea popped into your head and you found yourself making way to the very same shelf he was at. Scanning his work, you realized he was arranging records by genre, so you started doing the same. He didn't protest—or maybe he really had no words for you—but he silently let you help him.
The music streaming through his headphones were loud enough that even as you stood a few inches away from him—you could hear it clearly.
"I love Deftones."
Kaji lifts one side of the headphones. "What?"
"I said I love Deftones."
He kept it lifted off his ear while he thought of something meaningful to say.
"You have good taste in music," you add, hoping that he could springboard from that.
"You like Deftones?"
"If like, you should stay down beneath~"
"Yeah, I love them."
Holy shit. Kaji was short-circuiting like an idiot. Normally, the news that someone listens to the same music as he does is nothing amazing. But finding out the pretty girl at his part-time job did? It had him feeling some type of way.
Safe to say, you caught his attention. Hook line and sinker. He removed the headphones from his ears completely, setting them slowly around his neck—telling you that he was ready to listen whatever else you had to say.
"That's cool," he stammered out.
For a long while, the only sound between the two of you were the sounds of the records being shuffled on the shelf. The tension was more palpable than ever.
"There's this music festival on Friday evening," you said. In all honesty, you wanted to continue the topic of music and that seemed relevant at the moment, but it was too late once you realized the implication of it.
He cranes his head to look at you, wanting to make sure he wasn't reading into it too much. But it was accidental and he did read into it too much. "Rock music?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Who's playing?"
You decided to double down on it. "Let's go together and see."
The slight shift in his expression was a dead giveaway that your words had an effect on him. "Eh... uh... like as co-workers?"
"Ouch, not even friends? Besides, who goes to events like that as co-workers?"
"So... what? Friends?"
Jeez. You sigh. "If I called it a date, would you mind? And no, not a friendly date."
What date isn't friendly—he thought. Hearing the word d-a-t-e, there was no way he'd misinterpret that. He was hoping your invitation was for something more than friends anyway.
"Sure, it's a date then."
o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
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